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rawstrap · 8 months ago

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hi! i hope it's okay for me to reply to this. i did not send the original ask nor am i disabled, and i absolutely agree with OP's response. but i just wanted to approach it from another perspective as a fellow writer.

in terms of authorial intent this scenario is still problematic and its best to shift things around, especially if you had planned for the character to be able to levitate BECAUSE you were intending to make them disabled later- is writing a disabled character so inconvenient that you had to come up with a "solution" for it? even if that wasn't the case it will still come across as such which would be hurtful and misrepresent disabled people. in terms of writing it is much more compelling to fully engage with a character's experiences and dis/abilities than to handwave them away.

however, from the perspective of a writing exercise, you could, depending on your worldbuilding, show how the character is disabled and hasn't completely "circumvented" their disability just because they can levitate. perhaps because:

- it is not their primary ability

- levitation comes at the cost of stamina/mana/physical energy or something analogous which is depleted faster now, so the character still has to be selective about when to use it

- your character CHOOSES to not use their levitation to move around around unless its an emergency, out of respect/recognition of whatever led to them being disabled and out of love/respect for their body (or because they live in a world with enough accessibility measures that the infrastructure aspect of disability isn't really a problem for them)

- if your character lives in a very inaccessible environment, the fact that they now have to levitate more often could be a cause of frustration and something they now have to adapt to

- they can levitate to move but depending on the extent of their injury (such as nerve damage, muscle atrophy) they may still have a hard time with things like peeing, dressing, having sex, etc

- they are more vulnerable because if something stops them from being able to levitate, they have no way to run - the thing is, your character will probably still want to use a wheelchair or another mobility aid even if they could generally use levitation to get anywhere, so you could explore that and how it changes their relationship with their body, their power, and other things

- moving using levitation is less precise/harder to control than using their legs used to be (for eg. in tight spaces, or to move small distances)

- levitation doesnt "cure" your characters' companions having to adapt to your character's disability

- depending on the nature of their disability your character may not feel anything if hit in the legs but still lose blood - the disability will change how they fight, not necessarily by being a hindrance but by adding potential advantages as well

- there may be some in-universe explanation for why the levitation cannot work - maybe their disability in fact leads to partial/complete inhibition of their power itself

- the association of "magical power as cure" could be lessened by showing your character access prosthetics or mobility aids. it would be sensible for them to use those instead of using their power because as i said above, in most worldbuilding, using such powers comes at some kind of cost. you could show your character trying to deny their disability by overusing their power, and coming to the realisation that they must instead look for accessibility aids or other in-universe appropriate measures because they cannot levitate 24/7.

if levitation really was so convenient and free of consequences, why did your character ever use legs in the first place? the disability scenario actually shows an interesting "loophole" in your worldbuilding (im assuming- the ask did not have much info on that). in terms of Writing A Story, anything that happens to a character must in some way affect that character, their choices, their arc, etc. your authorial intent could be used to showcase that even if the character has some ability that makes things easier for them, it doesn't erase the "reality" of their disability.

I have a question if a character already had a power(ex: levitation) and later develops a disability(ex: loses the ability to walk) and uses the power to levitate around. Do you think it still falls into giving powers as a way to compensate disability trope?

Hi!

I guess it's not as bad as the "character develops magic that negates their disability a day after becoming disabled" but the end effect is still ultimately the same? As the author, you're the one choosing what happens to what character and if you decide to have the one disabled character be the one whose power also "coincidentally" negates their disability, that's the same exact choice as my first example. If you want to have a disabled character either make them disabled or just don't make them, that's all there is to it.

mod Sasza

#if something in my response was incorrect or insensitive please let me know !#i understand I'm not coming from lived experience and tacking onto the reply of an account run by disabled people so -#- will gladly delete this if it was unwarranted!!

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fairy25 · 2 years ago

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I hope it’s ok to ask for advice? I’m heterosexual, but a separatist due to being a CSA survivor and most men being insecure porn losers…. And I don’t think my therapist supports separatism and lives in whimsical fantasy land because I don’t understand why I can’t just have my feelings without an assumption attached that being sad about something =wanting something back. Men are not good for my mental health, I only engage with them when I am looking to be harmed (self harming… ) and I want to stop doing that. I think I need a new therapist but the break up is hard.

Those links were really helpful, especially the “you don’t need sex or a man to be happy” thanks for that. I’m still grieving the loss of my innocence, my sexuality, and childhood… so I told my therapist I was sad I didn’t experience romantic love (ex Mormon but my father sexual abused me, didn’t want me to have eternal love or happiness, would humiliate me and assert dominance, he wanted me fully dependent on him like a mini wife, and made the false claim to everyone I was autistic and couldn’t live independently and had my mother complicit with that and would gaslight and abuse me…. He would claim this is how guys are and threaten and humiliate me privately, and humiliate me publicly, if a guy do much as talked to me or gave me any kind of attention and if I engaged ir like him or the attention.

I almost had my first kiss, but froze up and was scared because of my father… we were intimate for a moment and it felt loving, before getting close to kissing. I never felt loved before, I always wanted to feel loved for real. My heart is broken and I’m so but I know I don’t need that to be happy. That I can create my own happiness.

My therapist didn’t see my grief just protected her idea of what she finds happy and fulfilling (she’d a grandmother,) that “it can happen at any age” when I said I don’t experience romantic love.

I’ve been passive aggressive towards her ever since because I feel like In order to heal, I need to center myself and de-center societal expectations such as having a bf or husband, and having kids, and jusf center me because when I center myself I am happy, but I’m scared to be happy… scared I can’t be happy again. I need to de-center men because they don’t make me happy, I need to de-center their opinions and beliefs and thoughts and center me. Worrying about what they think of me and what others think of me being single and as a person is not helping me move forward. Im scared of being raped, scared of being hurt. I feel the pressure that in order to be worthy of love and respect in this world as a woman you need to be in a relationship and have that status and be beautiful and accomplished an I hate it.

Clearly my therapist thinks you need sex and a man to be happy… she did help me get my autonomy back (economic extortion and financial abuse…. I’m on disability folks threatened and intimated me in social agencies from become independent too, they profited off of me…)

I just don’t trust this therapist with my feelings anymore and when I try and talk to her about it I don’t feel better; how do you gracefully break up with a therapist? I haven’t broken up with her because I’m afraid if I do she will take it personally and reject me if I ever want to seek her services again… I have a bad maternal abondonment wound, hence why (especially being taught it was the plan of happiness,) I really wanted a bf as a girl…. And it devastated and traumatized me that my father viewed me as “his” his property and would get threatened and anger and jealous and it also makes me feel so much rage I want to shoot him 27 times but I can’t cause that’s illegal. He completely robbed me of an innocent happy childhood. He is a misogynistic pedophile. I really wanted a bf because I wanted to feel loved and wanted to he loved and happy so bad. It made me suicidal.

I still get euphoric recall from that limerence fling I had with someone in my Sunday school class because I was so repressed and depravity, that they smallest gesture of tenderness had such a physical and emotional effect on me.

I just want to grieve and let go, and center myself, but I don’t know how, and if she doesn’t support separatism than I think that’s a deal breaker for me.

You need to find a new therapist. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to be a female separatist as a heterosexual woman, she shouldn’t be suggesting you need to find a man or have children to lead a full and happy life, and you don’t need to worry about being rejected by this therapist in the future. It’s her job to help you and if she’s not helping you right now, it’s not doing anyone any good. My therapist usually ends each session with “so next week then?” or something similar, you can just say you need to take a little time off from therapy or simply decline a next session. Say you’re busy, who cares. If you’re autoenrolled in sessions you should be able to cancel it and you probably don’t even need to provide a reason, if you do just be vague. You don’t owe them anything other than basic human decency, they’re there to help you and improve your quality of life, like that’s literally their job. That said, it sounds like you have some trauma to process and I think you could really benefit from speaking to a different therapist that specializes in complex sexual trauma. I was also molested by my father in a religious household, I understand the unspeakable impact that has on who you are and how you see the world. Working with a therapist can be really helpful if they actually ‘get’ you but it’s not so easy to find a good therapist. I’m sorry, I wish it was easier. Take some time off from therapy if you want to. I took several years off and honestly most of my experiences were bad before my current therapist. Doing my own research really helped me, just learning everything I could about how and why this happened to me. I read about it and wrote about it for years and years. I painted portraits of my grief, I wrote songs to it. I still do. It’s ok to grieve and it’s going to take a lot longer than you think. Let it. … Anyways, I sincerely hope you are able to heal and find peace. Sending all my love & strength.

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mueritos · 4 years ago

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I'm yet another suicidal person who has had to struggle with mental illness and... Idk. I know the difference between someone telling a bigot (someone who has probably told a lot of gay teens to kill themselves) and someone telling me (a gay trans person) to kill my self

In fact, I don't think the bigot who said I should go through electroshock therapy because he thought that I was crazy had the best thing in mind when he said that. I think honestly he wanted me to off myself, I have no reason to believe that this dude really believed shocking my brain a lot would turn me cis and straight except for being very stupid

I've never told a single person to kill themselves, I'm not saying you should, but if a bigot is attacking someone and they defend themselves, you don't go "uh uh! No no!" And slap their wrist while the bigot is still punching. You fucking PUNCH the bigot and then teach them how to better defend themselves in private, where the bigot can't see

Idk if this makes sense. Sorry

No you make perfect sense. Its the one of the reasons why im not convinced about and im gonna be upfront and say that I Do Not Care how a marginalized person responds to people who want us Dead. I dont! And i also cannot bring myself to, because again, I dont have it in me. If you want to show compassion, go ahead! If you want to tell them fuck off or that you want to staple their nipples to their eyelids, go ahead! Im not going to police marginalized people’s responses to active real life harm.

And great point because its something that I fell back on in the time reading what yall have to say and thinking on it: punching up is NOT the same as punching down. Marginalized folks will ALWAYS have far less support than those who oppress us, and punching up in defense, in exhuastion, or in retaliation will NEVER amount to the scale of harm that has been caused when oppressed punch, kill, maim, and incarcerate our communities.

Normalize focusing on ur communities, yrself, and your communties’ wellbeing and protection. Like i cant believe the discourse, are u guys seriously gonna make a callout post for community members who engage in de-arresting, who engage in protection of their own communities, who beat up and silence bigots? Because knowing how chronically online some folks on this site are, yea I can already imagine the callout posts being made.

I’ve been in IRL spaces where our survival and wellbeing DEPENDED on excluding, gatekeeping, and barring bigots and liberals out from our spaces. Sometimes this includes literally being honest and telling people to FUCK OFF! And i know there are lots of other communities who do far more to ensure no bigot, fascist, or abuser enters their spaces. Online respectability politics will never translated into IRL because you cant just block or mute bigots. You need to make them scared.

So yea. Thanks for bring this up cuz it def helped me solidify my thoughts on all of this.

#muertoresponds

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mbti-notes · 4 years ago

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hey mbti-notes! a question about one of your posts on politics/conservatism. you say that conservatism at its best is needed for society. the way conservatism has existed in my mind thus far is: using religion to justify prejudice, ignoring science (like climate change), racism, etc. i live in the US so maybe part of the media hellscape is why i have these associations, but im curious about how conservatism can actually be good to a society. infj and want to be more open minded/knowledgeable

I appreciate the willingness to learn. The political media in the US is dominated by “talking heads” (as they are commonly called) with hidden/ulterior motives. They’re there to push an agenda, to persuade and push people to emotional extremes, for the sake of making money and/or to support a cause that they’re personally invested in. The most important point is that they’re not really there to educate or help viewers be more learned, so they have no reason to be intellectually honest or care about other viewpoints. They’re certainly not the best sources to learn politics from.

When you get emotionally captured by talking heads, you’re buying in and essentially joining their agenda, either as a vocal supporter or their vocal “enemy”, and helping them spread their narrow/distorted worldview. It’s no coincidence that the spread of talking heads in the news media has been accompanied by a spread of conspiratorial thinking in society.

Learning about society and politics through talking heads makes it easy to turn various groups into abstractions. This enables dehumanization and polarization, hence, the endless battle between the “cons” and “libs”, as though everything in the entire world is split along this stark line. Whether you think there’s a fundamental difference between the two “teams” (partisan) or no substantial difference at all (apathetic/cynical), you’re missing the point that the false dichotomy was invented to mislead you and erode your political power. The first step to stopping this problematic trend is to stop it within yourself. When you’re aware of what’s happening, then you have the power to take a different path and encourage others to as well.

To be an intellectually honest person means being careful about the claims that you are making. When you make a claim: 1) you have to define your terms and use them properly, 2) you have to support the claim properly with factual evidence or logical argument, and 3) you have to prove the legitimacy of your claim by properly answering the relevant rebuttals to your claim.

Addressing the claims that you’ve made, for example:

Only conservatives are prejudiced? Only religious people are prejudiced? A prejudiced person is going to use any justification available. Someone who uses religion to justify prejudice is perhaps better called prejudiced, bigoted, racist, xenophobic, sexist, intolerant, fundamentalist, hypocritical, self-interested, disingenuous, etc, depending on the situation.

Only conservatives ignore science? Have you ever met an anti-vaxxer? Most of them aren’t conservative. Someone who ignores/denies/devalues scientific facts is perhaps better called irrational, uneducated, ignorant, willfully ignorant, skeptical, antiscience, denier, a luddite, etc, depending on their particular beliefs and reasons for mistrust.

Are most/all conservatives religious? There are many atheist conservatives that believe only in economic conservatism.

Are most/all conservatives bigots? There are many moderate conservatives that support equal rights and civil rights movements.

Are most/all conservatives antiscience? There are conservatives that love science and are even scientists themselves.

The point is that your claims are not objective, precise, nuanced, or well-informed. By making careless criticisms, you’re being unfair. And you’re destroying any chance of winning over people that might be sympathetic to your position. The fact of the matter is that the majority of people are relatively moderate, even uncertain or weakly committed, in their political beliefs, though they may lean conservative or progressive based on their upbringing or past experiences. This is a good thing because it allows space for people to learn new ideas, find common ground, and tackle sociopolitical problems in a balanced way. You don’t want most of the population to exist at political extremes because that’s how you get a dysfunctional and even violent society, yet that is where the talking heads lead people. When you’re dealing with an extreme person, you can’t help but become more extreme to make yourself heard, which starts up a vicious cycle that leads to more and more extreme positions. You see this happening between political opponents in the media or social media, until the extreme voices drown out everyone else.

Did you learn these ideas/associations from media talking heads? You sound just like them. You misapply words, make extreme generalizations, use questionable logic, and inject (emotional) bias. You’re using the word “conservative” without really knowing its meaning, though it seems central to your political beliefs. It’s not just you. A lot of people misuse political terminology, e.g., conservatism, liberalism, fascism, communism, socialism, etc. Study political theory or political philosophy and you will start to understand how these words have been abused.

To live in a democracy, you raise your voice, you engage in debate, and you criticize those you disagree with - quite normal. But if you want to debate well and launch a serious criticism, make your claims verbally precise, identify the right source of the problem, and be factually objective, as opposed to carelessly lumping all the people you dislike into one abstract group to label, demonize, and hate. There is constructive vs destructive criticism - which do you prefer? Constructive criticism is intelligent and boringly focused on getting proper solutions; destructive criticism is gratifying but makes problems worse.

By definition, a conservative is a traditionalist, meaning that they respect tradition and aim to preserve tradition for the good that it contributes to a well-functioning society. Therefore, conservatives, as a group, are as diverse and varied as the many possible human traditions that are out there to be upheld. Are you really going to claim that no tradition is ever good or that all traditions should be abolished? If you make this claim, you will be wiping out some very important structures and institutions that keep society alive and well, and you will be removing some very important mental health supports from individuals. If you call yourself a “progressive”, are you really going to claim that continuous “progress”, growth, expansion, or change doesn’t have any downsides whatsoever? If you make this claim, then you are ignoring legitimate criticism from conservatives about your blindness.

There are always going to be conservative and progressive forces in every society because these forces exist in every human mind. The question is how they relate to each other. It is the job of a good conservative to make sure that society doesn’t erode, doesn’t change too quickly to be destructive, doesn’t descend into chaos - to cherish what is already good in society. Similarly, it is the job of a good progressive to make sure that society doesn’t stagnate, doesn’t perpetuate negative beliefs and values, doesn’t resign itself to entrenched problems - to improve upon society’s flaws and faults.

Conservatism and progressivism are opposing forces that need each other to be at their best. It is when they act as enemies and retreat into their respective corners that you see the extremes which dominate US politics today. Politics is actually a circle rather than a spectrum, in that the extremes on both ends eventually come together to agree on mutual destruction. If you aren’t able to understand this principle of mutually determined fate, then you are in danger of becoming just as biased or extreme as those “conservatives” you criticize.

#politics #media #social media #conflict #debate #psychology #political psychology #ask

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thesunnyshow · 4 years ago

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Name: reya

Writing Blog URL(s): @chu-ni

Age: 19

Nationality: african-british

Languages: english, swahili, korean

Star Sign: libra

MBTI: enfp/entp (it always changes lol)

Favorite color: purple!

Favorite food: i really love chicken burgers

Favorite movie: princess and the frog

Favorite ice cream flavor: vanilla!!

Favorite animal: elephants

Go-to karaoke song: fancy - twice

Coffee or tea? What are you ordering? caramel frappe with whipped cream, in general i prefer tea though

Dream job (whether you have a job or not)? secretary general at the UN….or an author

If you could have one superpower, what would you choose? making anyone agree with me and do what i want them to do

If you could visit a historical era, which would you choose? ancient egypt!!

If you could restart your life, knowing what you do now, would you?.....no.

Would you rather fight 100 chicken-sized horses or one horse-sized chicken? neither if i could lmfao but i’d go for 100 chicken sized horses

If you were a trope in a teen high school movie, what would you have been? the nerd who’s actually really pretty after she gets a cool makeover

Do you believe in aliens/supernatural creatures? im not sure about aliens, but i definitely believe in ghosts and spirits.

What are some small things that make your day better? when i can have moments to myself to enjoy my own company. or when someone asks me what i want to eat and they bring it for me 🥺

Fun fact about yourself that not everyone would know? uhm…...probably the fact that i write fanfiction lol..but outside of that! i sing in the shower. and i talk to myself a lot.

What fandom(s) do you write for? nct dream currently, but in the future i want to expand to other groups!

When did you post your first piece? 17th of June 2018.

Do you write fluff/angst/crack/general/smut, combo, etc? Why? i can never write just one genre. predominantly i write fluff with a dash of angst for spice simply because i love a story that has an issue and then having that issue be resolved for a happy ending. when i started my blog i was 17, and so i said i wouldn't write smut. now that i'm older im feeling more and more comfortable writing suggestive content at the very LEAST.. so maybe in the future i might write smut, who knows? i like writing fluff because i like making people feel good, but i like adding angst to it because i feel like the contrast between the two is very *chefs kiss* to me.

Do you write OCs, X Readers, Ships...etc? i only write x readers!

Why did you decide to write for Tumblr? i first got tumblr when i was 13 years old and i was a fresh kpop fan lmfao. i wanted somewhere that shared my interests. of course i discovered x reader fics on here and i was in awe, i guess of how much power writers had in contributing to fandom content and keeping readers satiated. i’d always loved to write and so i’d always wanted to start my own writing blog, and for 2 years i did write for other blogs! it wasnt until 2018 that i finally took the leap and decided to start my own, because i wanted to impact people's emotions and take them on a journey through my writing.

What inspires you to write? what inspires me….teen movies, music!! music is a big one for me, and also the books that i read. i also grew up playing otome games so the plots and writing from those influence my writing a lot.

What genres/AUs do you enjoy writing the most? i really enjoy writing royalty!aus as well as exes!aus. i love to do them cause they require me to build a world and with royalty aus specifically i love weaving together bits of political intrigue, or arranged marriages, etc. its so much fun!!

What do you hope your readers take away from your work? that if this world is too rough or too much, you can always escape from it. it might not be physical, but immersing yourself in a universe that's entirely different for a little while can help soothe you.

What do you do when you hit a rough spot creatively? usually i try and take breaks. the problem with that is that my breaks can go on for longer than i’d like and im trying to fix that. so my other solution is to read read read!! read as much as i can, or go back to books that i loved. ask myself what i liked about the writing, what are some parts that i thought were amazing examples of good writing - i note them down then see if i can apply that to my own work. another thing i do is take a break from writing my longer, fleshed out works and write blurbs! blurbs are a great way for me to write but not feel like its tedious because i don't have to spend as much time on them and it gets me into the groove of writing without feeling stressed out.

What is your favorite work and why? Your most successful? my favourite piece of work is miscommunication. it took me months to write that, even after i lost all the work halfway through, and its the longest piece of work i have written so far, so its kinda like my baby. my most successful is candy jar. its also the work i owe my blog exposure to - it was the first piece i published, and it was also the first piece of writing i did in around 4 years.

Who is your favorite person to write about? i don't have much out for them, but i really enjoy exploring mark’s and jeno’s characters. they're people, but in my work i enjoy analysing them and judging how they’d act in different contexts.

Do you think there’s a difference between writing fanfiction vs. completely original prose? the only difference for me is that fanfiction (depending on the fandom) has some of the stuff fleshed out for you already, such as the world its in. if youre the type to write AUs then the only thing you already have is the characters - the planning, the writing, the drafting, and everything else is still the writer's responsibility. therefore there isn't much of a difference between the two for me.

What do you think makes a good story? a good story, to me, is one that takes me on a journey. it could be any genre, but i like to feel immersed and connected to the characters and the world in it. also aside from the obvious, like good grammar, a good story feels natural to read. i don't feel like skim reading half of it.

What is your writing process like? my writing process consists of me getting inspiration - usually from a song, or a film or a book ive read or a game ive played - i note down my idea and who i want the story to be about, and then bullet point the whole story, with some snippets of particular dialogue i want the reader or the other person to say at certain scenes. i then open another document ( i have a writing app on my phone, called werdsmith, so i use that!) and set a word count goal i want to hit so i can track my progress and start writing the fic, with fleshed out language and exposition. when im done (usually after a couple weeks up to a few months, depends on the length of the plan) i read through it to fix any mistakes, then i transfer it to docs so i can read it again and italicise any areas i feel need it.

Would you ever repurpose a fic into a completely original story? i...don't think so. mainly because the original fiction i read and would like to write for myself is predominantly fantasy, whereas the fanfic i write on my blog is usually non-idol, normal fics.

What tropes do you love, and what tropes can’t you stand? im a SUCKER for enemies to lovers, royalty ofc, “and they were roommates”, and i think superhero aus are really cool but there isnt enough of them :( idol/you as member aus....not feeling her… also abo/werewolf/vampire aus….not feelin em

How much would you say audience feedback/engagement means to you? a LOT. a HUGE amount!! i said before how i like giving my readers somewhere where they can immerse themselves as an escape, even for a short while. hearing about how my work affected them, made them feel, makes me feel less insecure about what im writing and thus more confident to publish it.

What has been one of the biggest factors of your success (of any size)? i’d say reblogs. and also putting out more content. when i first uploaded candy jar i went to my one of my favourite writers (jaeminlore) and asked her if she'd be okay with reading it and giving feedback. to my surprise she loved it and her reblogging it to all her followers is literally what gave me a bunch of followers all of a sudden who loved what i’d written. to keep that momentum i created more and more content, and while i haven't uploaded as often as i've wanted to or written as much as i’d wanted to, i can say i have a good amount of work on my masterlist for people who are looking for more to read.

Do you think fanfic writers get unfairly judged? 100%. fanfic has an unfair reputation for just having bad writing and cringey fics (and i feel like this is because of the way society views the demographics who predominantly consume and create it), when in reality i feel like those who write fanfiction are extremely talented and selfless people. they're on the internet creating content for free for people to enjoy and like any other work of art they're putting time and effort into it. i think it should be respected. any form of art is going to have its good and bad sides.

Do you think art can be a medium for change? hmmm….yes. i feel it can be a way to reflect the thoughts of people and also be a way to inspire people to do more.

Do you ever feel there are times when you’re writing for others, rather than yourself? sometimes. sometimes i feel like i'm forcing myself to write because i feel like if i don't then people will forget about me or they’ll forget about my blog. while what i choose to write about is for me, i feel like the speed of my writing and what im writing isn't to the quality i want it to be cause i feel like i gotta get it out for people to read.

Do you ever feel like people have misunderstood you or your writing at times? i've never felt that way!

Do your offline friends/loved ones know you write for Tumblr? only 2 of my friends know, and i only told them like. a week ago!

What is one thing you wish you could tell your followers? i wish you guys would message me more! i'm quite a sociable person, and i’d love to have regular anons who talk to me 👉🏽👈🏽

Do you have any advice for aspiring writers who might be too scared to put themselves out there? i think one common thing amongst all writers is that we write what we want to read. so don't feel like nobody's gonna read your work, cause somebody will. you gotta act like your work is top tier even if someone says it isn't - always write the best you can, and just do it! like don't even give yourself time to overthink it, write that fic, make it look pretty, upload it onto tumblr and do not be afraid to ask your favourite fic writers to read your work once its up!! i’d be happy to read and give feedback for any fic writers as well so don't feel afraid!

Are there any times when you regret joining Tumblr? ive been on here for 7 years….i grew up on this site lmfao. but i don't think i regret joining tumblr once.

Do you have any mutuals who have been particularly formative/supportive in your Tumblr journey? shes not very active anymore and i miss her very much but user hyuck-s was so supportive and i love her!!

Pick a quote to end your interview with:

she believed she could, so she did.

BONUS ROUND: K-POP CONFIDENTIAL

#@chu-ni #thesunnyshow #featuredauthor #episode 32 #nct dream

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theincompetentgenius · 5 years ago

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Matchup

hiyaaa!! could i pls get a written matchup for ikesen, ikerev, & mlqc? 💞 bi but i prefer guys! i have an older twin sis~ 5'4 young girl~ medium-length straight-ish black hair & dark brown eyes. ambiverted INTP! hufflepuff/ravenclaw. fun-loving & friendly scorpio. if not given attention, i feel unwanted/sad. quiet w/ people im not close w/. easily annoyed but guilty after 'cause im soft-hearted. playful/serious, childish/mature, competative/laidback, funny/shy, talkative/good listener, loud/soft, kind/quiet, emotional/solemn, sweet/smart, bright/deep, poetic/intellectual, daydreamer/studious, annoying/lovable. hopeless romantic! sorta socially anxious, i have a fear of judgement. my personality is like half fun/happy and half deep/quiet- very awkward. i want to be the best! im not innocent but ppl think i am at first. its easy to make me smile & laugh but i also get jealous often. i have trouble asking for help even if i help others a lot! im the type to do fun stuff and loosen up, but im also the type to just cuddle and have long conversations about life and the world. emotionally mature but a bit emotionally unstable (mental health problems-) i look fine on the outside but on the inside its a MESS. im actually a complex person, and i rlly think a lot to myself. i feel rlly scared tho if im not completely sure if im correct abt smth, n i get rlly anxious when ppl r looking at me blankly w/ smiling- likes: diff kinds of jokes, testing myself, affection, animals, doing exhilirating things, music, movies, books, games, family, friends, astrology, astronomy, learning new things, & mythology. dislikes: too much heat, school presentations, creepy dolls, being under pressure, dirty things. i love weapons (esp swords n guns, i like magic too tho)!! i think they're super cool- omg im super srry cause i think this is too much- tysm anyway!! feel free to take your time (health comes first!) n have a great year! 💞

Aww, thank u so much! This was submitted to me quite a while back and I’m really sorry for the major delay. However, I’ve finally gotten to this. Hope you still enjoy it :)

Ikemen Sengoku

I’d pair you with.................. Hideyoshi Toyotomi!

Honestly, I was having difficult picking just one person since you have such a complex personality (don’t worry, this is a good thing). For a while, I was leaning towards Mitsuhide at first because your personality would’ve made the perfect MC for his route. You’re sweet enough to get him to open up, but not a complete ditz. He’d love to learn all the different sides of your personality, falling for every single piece. After all, there’s no puzzle that he can’t solve.

However, I’m gonna go with Hideyoshi on this one. His simple attitude would best compliment all your different traits, creating the perfect balance. Whenever he’s being hard-headed, your multi-dimensional personality will provide him with another side that he hadn’t considered.

Don’t want to ask for help? Not a problem because Hideyoshi is going to help you anyways (whether you want or not). He’ll be at your side all day, making sure that even the smallest of tasks have dealt with. Once your work is done, he’ll linger around for a little bit, waiting for that last good-bye kiss.

You manage to pull him out of his comfort zone, going on small adventures together! He’s not the biggest fan of them, but he always tags along to make sure you’re alright. His favorite adventures are when you two go into the forests, observing all the different animals. There’s nothing like seeing the sweet smile on your face to brighten up his day.

The day always ends with the two of you heading back to his room, laying on his bed, and looking at all the cool stuff that you found. He’ll have his arms wrapped around your waist, resting his chin on top of your head, listening to you rave about the adventure. But when you remind him that there’s no place that you’d rather be than in his arms, Hideyoshi can’t help but turn into a puddle. It’s just a night of cuddles and endless affection.

Hideyoshi is also the best person to go to when you’re feeling like a complete mess. Even if he’s busy, he’ll always put time aside to comfort you. If you’re feeling scared or unsure, the warlord will stroke your hair and remind you about all the times that you’ve been right (and all the things you’ve accomplished because of that). Even if things go awry, he’ll always be there to hold your hand for comfort’s sake. After all, you’ve guided him through his messes, so now it’s his turn to repay the favor.

Another Possibility: Mitsuhide Akechi

Ikemen Revolution

I’d pair you with............... Ray Blackwell!

So there’s not a lot of leeway here since your description really just screamed “RAY” to me. However, I feel like I could throw you at Blanc! He’d do his best to make you feel welcome in the Cradle and slowly crack through your quiet demeanor. Once he learns what’s inside, bunny boy is absolutely charmed! It’s hard for him to stay away, especially since he just gravitates towards your cheery energy. Nevertheless, the Black Army King won over in the end.

When Ray first meets you, he appreciates your quiet side. Not too noisy or annoying, unlike certain members in the Black Army. Besides, you seem to have your head screwed on straight, so he won’t have to worry too much about you getting into endless trouble. Your maturity throughout the entire situation will only garner his respect.

When Fenrir cracks a crude joke and you stifle your laughter, Ray raises an eyebrow. There’s definitely more to you than meets the eye and he’s interested in what exactly hides behind your quiet exterior. While he may not go out of his way to search for it, Ray takes mental notes when you do something that pleasantly surprises him.

Bookworm buddies!! Every now and then, you two engage in a reading competition: who can read the most books throughout the week? For the prize, the loser has to listen to the winner’s commands for an entire day. While the winning party varies, it’s always a close call.

Ray is always teasing you for being a hopeless romantic. However, that’s just his way of hiding how he thinks that your mentality towards love is adorable. If he’s completely honest, you remind him of the main heroine in most romance novels. Does that mean he’s willing to be your love interest? Why don’t you ask him and find out ;)

Ray notices the twinkle in your eyes when you watch him practice with his sword. When you ask him about it, he’ll happily show you all the types of swords and guns that are used in the Black Army. He even gives you confidential information about the latest gun prototypes. At one point, he’ll even gift you with the weapon of your choice (you can customize it however you want). Whether you choose to use it is up to you (but little tip here: Ray finds it hot when you carry it around on your belt).

Another Possibility: Blanc Lapin

MLQC

I’d pair you with............ Victor!

Before I unveil first place over here, I think you and Kiro would also have amazing chemistry too! You two would mesh so well together, being the biggest balls of sunshine. When you’re feeling down, you can always expect his teddy-bear smile to cheer you up in an instance. It gives me such “wholesome couple vibes” that I’m not even sure how to put it into words.

So you must be wondering, “Why Victor?” It’s because our loveable grump needs some sunshine of his own (a ray of sunshine that he won’t throw out the window or chastise to death). From the beginning, Victor takes a liking towards you. You’re mature, dependable, and want the best for the company. Even if you’re not directly involved, he appreciates your efforts towards becoming the best. There’s something about you that makes him want to root for you.

And so he does, pouring a decent amount of money into your dreams. However, Victor will constantly watch you from the side (after all, he’s gotta see how his investment is being used). This may cause you some discomfort, but he’s doing it to make sure that you get to the top of your dreams.

When you’re feeling unsure of yourself, Victor will give you the guidance that you need. He’ll try his best to give his input on the situation, making sure that it gets you closer and closer to the answers that you need. Once you manage to pull everything together, he can’t help but feel a little tug on his chest. It’s a combination of both pride and something a little sweeter.

Victor also finds your multi-faceted personality quite impressive. It’s amazing how you can show a range of emotions and feelings, especially when you’re dealing with different types of people. He doesn’t have such a range of emotions, so he tries to pick up on a few of your traits. It doesn’t always work, but you always get a good laugh out of it.

Whenever Victor has had a long day at work, the two of you lay on the grass and watch the night sky. There’s something about the stars that calms him and he wouldn’t have known it if he never met you. So he’ll always be grateful for the peace that you’ve given him.

Another Possibility: Kiro

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formerlyrunephoenix6769 · 6 years ago

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I was asked and ask, and in my flu causing feverish state, I deleted it. So if you’re out there and recognize this question (and I’m paraphrasing) please reblog and @ me.

So If i remember, the question was along the lines of

“Why isnt there huge amounts of stuff, for shows like She -Ra and TDP, are they not as popular?”

Lets go for a ride...

I think the reason why we dont get the same amount of content generated for shows such as The Dragon Prince and She-ra, say in comparison to shows like RWBY.

And by content, I mean, theories, memes, art and in depth analysis, boils down to 3 things.

1) Time to Generate.

Both The Dragon Prince and She-Ra have only recently dropped their first season. Now both have their second season coming rather swiftly, esp in the case of The Dragon Prince. Season 2 is dropping tomorrow: Feb 15 2019 over on Netflix.

She-Ra’s is set to be released April 26th 2019, again on Netflix.

The Dragon Prince S1 was released on Sept 14th 2018, and She-Ra: Princesses of Power, Nov, 13th 2018.

In TDP case, that is a 5 month and 1 day turn around and SPOP, 5 months and 13 days turn around.

It is rather unheard of for an animation to have their Second season be ready in under 6 months. Usually it is anywhere from 10 months minimum to a year or in some cases, even longer.

I put this down to the success of the two series and how the audience received them, and Netflix wishing to capitalize on it, and the hype generated.

Lets just hope that the both properties dont feel rushed as a result.

So with such little time, and a very short hiatus in terms of tv shows, (which is when most of fandom generated content tends to be created), that gives very little time for their respective fandoms to leave their senses and devolve into some sort of animeesque Lord of the Flies in a matter of weeks, in a bid to cope.

(RWBY FNDM, I’m looking at you with your ‘Beehaw’s’ and YORSE, and ‘Scheehaw’s’. I still cant believe you made Arryn read that with her own eyes!!)

(You can tumblr search Yorse yourself, I aint making anyone look at that cursed image without their consent. You’ve been warned! ;p @hammertime-rwby i shake my head in your general direction... ;D )

Time to generate can also be reflected in how long a show has been on air, thereby garnering a wider and much larger fanbase with a broader set of creative skills, which in turn results in more fandom content generated, esp if there is the potential of shipping.

And bloody hell does SPOP have some crazy potential on the shipping front,

2) Time to Mature and Fandom Engagement.

As a show matures and the audience leans learn more about the characters and the world that they inhabit, the nature of fandom created content evolves. It also depends on the verve of the show itself.

The way in which a show is presented, the topics and themes they cover, the way the characters and the world are presented, can vicariously dictate how the fandom engages with the property, go forth and multiply.

For example:

Sherlock is very meme worthy and that tends to be reflected in the content that is generated by the Sherlockians.

RWBY has been out for 6 volumes and has a very dedicated and passionate FNDM, but it is also broad, large and incredibly diverse.

It is also rather vocal and has very strong differing opinions from one end of the spectrum to the other, which in turn creates YT reviews, reactions and rebuttals and heated retorts.

These polarising pov’s can then go on to permeate to other branches of social media, such as twitter, tumblr, discord etc etc

Same with fandom accepted headcanons and lore...

(I’m still on the fence about you Renora Rodeo Round up... You’re on thin ice! ;p )

But it has taken a number of years to cultivate.

Neither The Dragon Prince or She-Ra has had the time to do that, yet!

But I’m certain that will change in the coming future.

She-Ra has already generated quite the buzz on both the positive and negative sides, due to being based on a much loved, older, property, ‘She-Ra 1985′, but that is a mine field which I covered on my previous blog before some asshat decided to axe it.

Also, the themes that Netflix She-Ra seems to be covering, which helped generate a lot of the negative backlash towards the show, will most definitely continue to be polarizing... So I would keep an eye out if YT and people picking stuff apart is your jam.

On the other side, what SPOP seems to be trying to deliver will also generate lots of awesome content. Just look at how this took off,

“Hey Adora”

And this cinnamon roll’s preoccupation with ‘force captain orientation’,

The Dragon Prince strikes me as a show that would generate deep reflective analysis of world and characters as well as theories, much like its older cousin, Avatar Last Airbender, once there is more to comb over and speculate on.

These two shows are presented differently and they way they are tackling certain themes in their respective narratives are also vastly different, which could also have a lot to do with their respective target audience and intended demographic, so it stands to reason that the results of fandom generated content would be different.

3) Platform and Format.

This I believe is one of the most important aspects which ties the previous points above.

If a property is delivered week by week, such as RWBY, there is time, for the FNDM, after they make amazing screen shots and insta analysis and excited speculations, to go over it again and allow the episode to sink in.

(which both TDP and SPOP could do, as they have episodic episodes but that is an entirely different post)

There is time for the fans to go sit back and react to what they have seen, whether that is creating beautiful fan art, crafting in depth theories, character analysis, extrapolate potential world building.

A week by week delivery culminates in an emotional impact that is allowed to foster and grow, thereby gives space and time for the individual to go off and create content for their respective fandom.

Fanart takes time, fics take time.

The not knowing what could happen next opens up the avenues of thought out speculations.

Having a week to go over everything to that point and process new info. Being able to take your time to research and prep before you put it out there, results in good, in depth analysis and well crafted work.

Time gives breeding ground.

(Some wait years for lore.. Overwatch fandom, I dont know how we do it! But we all cant be Tracer!)

Because, we are so salivating at the the mouth for insta gratification and ‘binge’ culture has become so prevalent where media is concerned.

When a property is delivered all at once, it gives no breathing space for speculation and wild theories.

For a particular scene or interaction between characters to have an emotional impact and thereby create emotionally significant fan art, that is reblogged and shared in that moment, give it time to resonate with its respective fandoms.

And there for have time for other members of the fandom to be inspired to go off and create their own stuff in what ever medium is their forte.

Because we are on this fast paced ride, not only from the start of the chapter 1 to end of the first ‘book’, so to speak, but also the social media need to be the first to create the content for the fandom, the type of content generated, how and why, is hugely different and may not at first glance look like it is forth coming..

It just takes time to sink in.. To go back through and re-evaluate.

Being inspired by a particular interaction between two characters , or a certain facet of the world that an fan may have noticed and wishes to expand on, art wise, fic wish or theroise, loses its validity when you know that the next episode could answer your burning questions in less than 5 seconds.

And so you stave off for the dreaded nine episode when your eye balls are nearly gumming together and you know you have work in 4 hours but you need answers to the burning questions..

and so results.

This is not the content creators fault, in anyway. This is quite literally the way in which it is delivered.

Its is pretty much,

II) However, in Conclusion

The perceived lack of fandom interaction/generated content, in the social media platforms that a fan chooses to consume, or is available to them, does not mean that a show isn't popular.

The ties to previous projects, such as SPOP to She-Ra 1985 and The Dragon Prince to Avatar Last Airbender are vastly different.

Expectations are vastly different.

Fandom interaction and generation of fandom content, is not a measure made of how popular a show is.

Also, politely, remember the demographic of which these shows are aimed at.

Be respectful of the show creators, the property, the characters and the narrative that the show creators have painstakingly crafted and put out into the world.

The story that they want to tell.

Again,

a reminder,

Tomorrow, 15th Feb 2019 , Season 2 of The Dragon Prince.

(im gonna go back into my fluey coma now)

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aldiwali · 5 years ago

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8. your favourite graphic and or gif created by yourself

aaa probably this one?? it’s one of the first ones i did but .. the base panel was so good & it just. i think it turned out nice!! also this one was really cute.. i haven’t done gifs past then because i don’t wanna deal with downloading eps & shit like that (i don’t have the patience.. adhd mood) & i feel guilty using others’ gifs as bases even when they say it’s ok but! i think it’s. she’s babey

10. what graphics / gif trends do you dislike most?

i don’t… i don’t really dislike any? um i’m not really “in the graphic community” in that i’ve never like. studied it & i’ve only recently made them & made friends like u who make them too (& ofc bc of that i pay more attention to fully appreciate everyone’s works but!!! aa)

um if there’s a trend... whitewashing SDKFFJ like it’s not so much a Trend as a byproduct of heavy psds? yeah. also i really like soft colors & lining so when it’s just. Harsh (this is mostly from my experience in the rpc) it’s ... yeah.

oh and flashing things?? especially on people’s themes / whatever where there’s not a warning?? i rly don’t have patience for that ;; and those edits where it’s like. it’s clear it’s not meant to be readable / consumed well & it just looks like a blur & u can’t tell what’s going on????

OH AND THE LIP THING. MY PET PEEVE. this hasn’t appeared in the op fandom (yet.. thank goodness) but in the bnha fandom adding a giant lip to characters they hc as black or even to be of color ..... like.. it looks ugly?? first of all bc it’s not done how it would Actually look & kinda just arbitrarily placed like “oh they have big lips look im inclusive :)” & it’s clear they’re just using stereotypes & not putting thought into it? (ex: giving east asians big lips too even though east asians tend to have thin lips????) and it’s just. Not Handled well. and the noses too they’re so often made to be. caricatures really. like when doing indian characters they’ll make it like a giant triangle or something and it’s .... it’s like they tried so hard to be inclusive that they looped around and just made it racist.

11. what graphics / gif trends do you like most?

coloring things sdkfdkfjdskfj it’s so pretty.... i esp love seeing people’s colors for characters that haven’t been given official colors yet, esp when i like them better than the original!! um & just.. everything saint does w their graphics are. SO good i’ve talked abt this before for like an hour in my gc but.. Holy shit

21. how much time do you spend on a single graphic / gif?

i don’t usually do gifs??? like i’ve done it one (1) time. um but with graphics.... it really depends. how complicated is it? is there background? how many charas? do i already have headcanons for what the chara looks like or am i figuring it out as i go along? mmm i’ve been trying to spend more time on my graphics recently so i can try to be more proud of them but? for a single character no background panel... 20 min? it really depends tho because most of mine i make during lectures in class,, meaning that i’m not 100% engaged with it or anything,, it’s more like i’m doodling but instead i’m. editing graphics.

32. the least notes a graphic / gif of yours has ever gotten that you feel deserves way more. (link it!)

agjdskfjdsf i don’t really like my graphics very much? i think i’ve said this before. like to find things for this ask (part of why it took so long) i went through my shit and found like.. 5 i liked. and so it’s not so much “i think i deserve more notes” as i “wish it would have been better before i posted it but also like. i’m done with it at this point..” the ones i do like tend to get noticed, even if it’s like a week after it’s posted? so i think the least is like .. 71 notes? & 72 notes. those 2 respectively fsdkfj. now if it was about my art… there’s a recent alyanette i posted on @/atvie but it’s not rly noticed but that’s ok!! fskdfj

there are some graphics that are low-effort but i wish had more notes just because i want to interact with the fandom but the fandom’s like. Really Small like with lookism & act-age & oresama teacher (like my most recent posts basically) so i don’t really expect much sdfjdkj

38. are you working on anything right now? if yes, show us a work in progress!

i’m not really? like i’ll start one & then i’ll be like. Fuck it. & just never look at it again because it gets buried in all of my other pages but. here’s one from last night?? that im probably never gonna finish also click maybe bc tumblr quality is .. Not Great... this one was wild cause i had my colors in mind & then once i was done with the clothing i just. switched them to the canon colors (mostly) by looking up the anime cap & while it may be more fitting to them i Don’t Like the Colors. also i gave robin a pantsuit. yes i know she was on the fire side of the island but she’s goth smh... u gotta have dedication

ask meme / @toooticki

#sry i just moved it here cause!! this is my new graphics blog #toooticki #out of. //#answered. //#aaa tysm!! ilu

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noona-la-la-la · 6 years ago

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Tell me if this is bad question bcus its been ignored by couple ppl. Im aguy into cuckolding. My girl is into it but as soon as she realizes its me cucking her she flips. I said u can cuck me 1st to be fair. But still arguement about fairness. Like ill suck her toes but ill ask her to suck mine just to piss her off (cus she knows i dont rly care to have mine sucked) but i have to put my feelings aside to suck hers? (Not that i have any feelings abt it) it feels like she takes advantage of that.

I’m confused. Like, I’m really wondering if you know what the word cuckold means. Also wondering where the toe-sucking thing comes into play. But I’ll try to give an opinion based on what I think you are asking.

So, usually when a man says he is into “cuckolding” it either means he wants to be a cuckold by his wife having sex with other men or he wants to cuckold other men by having sex with their wives. Feel free to replace wife with girlfriend here. But part of the sexual kink of it all really is playing with the traditional sexual/gender power dynamics. For thousands of years, women were expected to remain sexually faithful to the man in their life while it was considered completely normal for the man to sleep around, take mistresses, concubines, additional wives even. It’s still that way in many cultures/subcultures. Thus, the deviance of “cuckolding” is by flipping that dynamic.

I’ve seen people talk about “reverse cuckolding” or sometimes “cuckqueaning” to refer to women who want their man to have sex with another woman. So… there’s that.

In any case, cuckolding as a fetish is different than people having open relationships, or partner swapping, or simply bringing in a third (or more) sexual partner into a relationship for a night. The big difference is that cuckolding is very much about power play – how deep that goes depends on the couple, but there tend to be elements of jealousy mixed with arousal, or for the more intense, there may be active elements of humiliation, degradation, denial, sexual servitude and sometimes even extended chastity on the part of the cuckold. It all varies depending on what the primary couple want and how they have decided to manage their relationship and all of it needs to be done with mutual agreement of the two primary partners and they should also get clear consent from whatever third party they bring in to be a part of this dynamic.

For one couple, cuckolding could mean, “I want to watch you have sex with another man while I jerk off in the corner” and for someone else it might mean, “I want you to lock up my dick, make me sleep on the floor, stop having sex with me altogether while you engage in a long term, loving and sexual relationship with another man who actively belittles and demeans me.” That is a WIDE spectrum there and you need to be extremely clear about what it is you want from this kind of relationship. I’m not kidding, everything needs to be negotiated and made incredibly clear, limits set, rules defined and abided by everyone, and there should probably be frequent renegotiation of the relationship taking place. Is this working? What works and what doesn’t? What should we add and what should we take away? Does everyone feel safe and loved and happy? If not, what do we need to change?

You need to be extremely clear about what it is you want and I would suggest you don’t use the word cuckold when you are asking for it. Be explicitly clear and detailed with your partner. Do you want her to have sex with other men? Do you want to be told about her sexual escapades? Do you want to observe her having sex? Do you want to help find her other partners? Do you want to participate in her sexual encounters? In what way do you want to participate? Etc… And if you also want to have sex with other women… then you need to be equally explicit about what you want there, too.

Once you put it all out on the table, it’s up to your partner to say what she is willing or not willing to do. And you need to be prepared for the fact that this is a negotiation and she may not want to do everything you want to do. And that might include her being okay with having sex with other men (something you said you wanted) but not okay with you having sex with other women (a different thing you said you wanted). If you are only okay with her having sex with others is if you get to do the same, then you were never really into cuckolding in the first place. If what you want is have an open relationship where both of you have sex with other people or you want to start inviting other people (both men and women) into bed with the two of you – then that’s what you need to ask for. If it’s something different from that, say it! Be clear!

And be prepared that her answer may be no. Respect her decision. It’s up to you to decide if you are okay with the state of your relationship and whether or not you want to be in the relationship – but it’s not okay to try to coerce or badger someone into doing things they don’t want to do.

As for the toe sucking example… I’m a little concerned. It sounds like she enjoys having her toes sucked and you don’t mind doing it even if it’s not something you would naturally do on your own. You ask her to suck your toes, something you don’t particularly want and something she doesn’t want to do, simply because you think sex is only “fair” if you make her do everything you do.

That doesn’t seem healthy.

When we are children, we think fairness is all about making sure everybody gets treated exactly the same in every situation every time. It’s about making sure that you get the same number of cookies as your brother and you better be damn sure that all those cookies are the same size and the same flavors and you might even count the number of chocolate chips in the cookie to make sure they come out the same. But then we grow up and realize that fairness is more about making sure everyone has the option to have cookies, but only people who want them eat them and you only eat enough until you are full and that is going to be a little different for every person.

In sexual terms, fairness is making sure that you are your partner are both feeling satisfied with the sex you are having. That includes doing things that you might not particularly care for one way or the other, but it makes your partner happy. It also means not being forced to do things that are actively upsetting or cause distress.

So if she likes having her toes sucked and you don’t have any real objection to doing that, then suck her toes. If you don’t really care about having your toes sucked and she doesn’t like doing it – then why are you trying to make her suck your toes? Chances are she might already be doing something that you like and she doesn’t care about just for your pleasure. And even if she isn’t… are you dissatisfied with the sex? If so, ask for what you want! Don’t go around asking to have your toes sucked when that isn’t what you actually want.

It sounds like you are playing games when you should be having an open and honest dialog.

#advice and opinions #sex advice #I am curious if you actually meant cuckolding #Anonymous

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littlebitoffanfic · 6 years ago

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Convince

Fandom: Star Wars Characters: hux, Phasma, Supreme leader Relationship: Hux/reader Request: the reader thinks she gets sent away because hux, phasma and kylo don’t want her anymore but they were trying to protect her. And hux is her husband so lovey dovey stuff when he gets he back please You sat with one leg swung over the other. Your bottom leg was bouncing slightly from nerves as you bit your nails as short as you could before gnawing on the inside of your cheek. He shouldn’t have taken this long. It was just a quick meeting, right? Sitting in General Hux office, you couldn’t help but feel like something was watching you. Something dangerous. Your husband, the owner of this office, had been distant from you recently. As the end of his project drew closer, you found he stepped back from you with each passing day. But tonight really hurt. It was your wedding anniversary. You had had the dress you wore custom made for this special night. 10 years ago you had exchanged vows. A sudden knock on the door made you jump. “Who is it?” You called out, knowing it wasn’t Hux otherwise he would just have walked straight in. “Phasma, miss.” Called the only other person you would be glad to see. Racing to the door, you threw it open to see your friend and ally. But she wasn’t smiling. “I need you to come with me. The supreme leader wishes to see you.” She spoke with a slight quiver in her voice that shook you to the core. She was hard and strong, one of the most fierce warriors on this ship. Something had scared her deeply. Nodding, you followed her, staying slightly back to hid your nerves. You wanted to talk to her, to speak to her like a friend. Over many years, you had grown close to her and you were the only one on this ship who she properly cared about, not just out of a sense of duty. But something wasn’t right. Stopping outside the supreme leader throne room, you turned to her. “Phasma. Im scared.” You whispered in a childish voice. You didn’t know what was going on, but it involved you in some way which you didn’t like. You had been loyal to the supreme leader before your marriage to Hux, and after the marriage you both aided him greatly. He showed favouritism towards you, more than he ever had to Hux or even Kylo. “As am I.” She breathed, unable to offer support to you right now. You knew you were to face this alone. So, taking a deep breath, you walked into the room. It was a deep red colour that mimicked blood. The supreme leader sat on his throne, his guards motionless by his side but other than them, the room was empty. “Ah, [y/n], I have been waiting on you.” He smiled, but it didn’t seem at all genuine. “My apologies. I came as soon as I was summoned.” You walked forward, bowing your head slightly out of respect. With a swift motion on his wrist, he dismissed the guards, who passed you and left. This was a true sign of trust. “I have some… unfortunate news.” He beckoned you forward with a bony finger and you walked to stand at the feet of his throne. “How unfortunate?” You asked, the question nearly getting stuck in your throat. “It depends how you look at it. With your optimism, I might think you’ll see it as a new opportunity. But your loyalty tells me otherwise.” He sighs, looking away from you. You felt yourself stiffen. Was he now questioning your loyalty or was that a compliment? Swallowing, you couldn’t speak so he continued. “Your service and loyalty to me has never gone unnoticed. Many here follow you more than some of my official leaders. But I have had to make several tough decisions for our cause. After consulting with General Hux, Kylo Ren and Phasma, it has been unanimously decided that your time here has come to an end.” As he finished, you felt your knees go weak. You stood there, staring straight in front of you as you tried and failed to comprehend what was going to happen. “I don’t understand.” You finally whispered, your voice weak and your eyes looking up to your leader to guidance. “You will leave tonight. Rip the band aid off quickly, in my opinion. There is a safe house on one of our quiet and trustworthy planets. You will be sent there, your salary will remain the same. Consider this early retirement for a job well done.” He smiled, leaning back in his seat. That same smile that seemed fake. “And what of my husband?” You asked, your voice breaking. “He shall remain here. He may visit you on occasions that suite the First Order, but contact will be limited.” The smile drops from his lips. “Why tonight? Can it not be postponed?” Your mind was racing as your heart broke. “No.” A simple but sharp response. You nod, accepting the answer and knowing better than to argue with him. He was right, this would be a break. You could live in a proper house which you could make a home. You could paint, doing art, write a book, do all the thing you had never been able to do because of your work. You could relax. But without Hux? You had planned him to be in your life until the end. When you thought of living in a home, he was there. Something gnawed at the back of your mind. “You said it was a unanimous decision. You all voted for me to leave? Was there no opposition or reason for me to stay?” You asked, your voice breaking as tears flooding your eyes. You wanted to hear that someone had fought for you. They had fought to keep you here. You wanted to hear how your husband had begged you keep you by his side, how Phasma had given reason after reason as to why you were an asset and you needed to say. Even damn Kylo saying you kept the ship sane! “No, they all voted the same way.” He signed slightly, getting annoyed with your questions. “Your ship will be ready to depart in 30 minutes. You may keep it.” “Thank you.” You breathed, unable to think of anything else to say. He didn’t need to excuse you. You turned and walked out the room, the second your back was to him, tears were falling from your cheeks. Leaving the throne room, you turned the corner and saw three people walking in your direction, none speaking or even looking at each other. Hux, Phasma and Kylo. Hux was the first to spot you. His mouth opened slightly and you saw his eyes dart down to your dress as he froze in place. This wasn’t how you thought you would spend your 10th anniversary. His sudden stop was noticed by the other two who followed his gaze and saw you. Phasma couldn’t even look you in the eyes and kylo could only look at for for brief moments. You reached for your wedding and engagement ring on your finger. Pulling it off, you dropped it to the ground, turned on your heel and walked in the opposite direction from them all. Once round the corner, you ran back to the room you shared with Hux but locked it behind you. you went to the bedroom, your heart beating so loud you could hear it in your ears only for your blood to run cold. on the bed was a suitcase. It was open, but you could see everything was packed for you. On the top of all your clothes was a picture from yours and Huxs wedding. You picked up the picture, the frame made from a beautiful engraved silver. Lifting it up, you threw it against the wall, the frame shattering and the picture falling out. Striding into the living room, you raced to the cabinet that had photos of you and your husband over the years. Taking out photo after photo, you smashed them all. You took off the necklace he had got you for your 5 year anniversary and threw it on the floor, you set to destroy everything you could as tears burned in your eyes. Finally, falling to the floor, you sobbed uncontrollably. ----------------time skip ---------------- The house was nice, that was an upside. It was deep in the country and was surrounded by rolling hills and nature. Standing outside, you took another sip of your coffee, taking in the beauty of it all. You’d been here 2 months now. 2 whole months. It seemed like barley yesterday that you had left and it still stung. Another sip, you felt the cold wind pass you so you decided to go back it. There was no doubt in your mind you would enjoy this life. It was all you had ever wanted and Hux had always promised it to you, but you thought it would be different. He was always meant to be here with you. Maybe even children. you hadn’t heard from anyone since you left. You had left your datapad but what they didn’t know was that you had planted a chip in your old one years ago in case it was ever stolen or hacked. You were one of the best hackers in the universe and you used to be highly sought after for your skills. You decide to spend a couple of years on your own. You needed it after that marriage. While divorce had never came up, you wondered if that had been the over all goal of making you leave. Had Hux grown tiered of you or fallen out of love with you and decided it was easiest to make you leave. No, Kylo would never have agreed to that. You had supported Kylo through his whole time with the First order in ways neither Hux nor the supreme leader had. You offered him a more humane side of it all and he appreciated it. He would never have pushed you away and neither would Phasma. You would probably never know why. Walking into the dining room, you sat down and opened your laptop. Some habit were hard to break, and this included keeping an eye on the rebellion and the first order. You had small hacks into each system which allowed you to have small amounts of information dripped into you. Enough to keep you satisfied, at least. but today, something was off. Hacking further into the rebellion, you were able to see data transferring from one place to another. The destination looked to be the rebellions ship which was known to the first order, but you couldn’t see what information they were getting. Until you hacked further and instantly, your eyes widened. They were hacking the ships defences. The first orders main ship, the one which had the supreme leader, which had Kylo and Phasma, which had Huxs. You traced the coordinates of the rebellion ship when you saw a transmission was going urgent in the first order. While it tracked the location, you listened to the transmission by the supreme leader. He was announcing that the rebellion were beginning attacked, that they would soon fall and the first order would rule all. But if they were attacking each other, the ones who had the upper hand was the one with all the information’s. The rebellion. You had to do something. Racing into the kitchen, you grabbed your second laptop which was more up to date and able to handle the capability’s of what you needed. Your first laptop beeped with the location but you didn’t need it. You knew they were in the same place as the first order. grabbing a headset with a mic attached, you plugged yourself in and began. First, you had to interface with the rebellions hack. You quickly fired through all the defence systems and managed to get into their system properly, enough to slow down the hack as the equipment struggled with the interference. Then, you hacked into the first order, something which was easy for you. Immediately, you saw all the data on the bridge whirling about between stations. Locking on to one desk, you saw it was Mitaka who was logged in. You knew you could trust him and he would be wearing a communication device. Hacking in, you heard the hustle and bustle of the main bridge. “mitaka.” You whispered into the mic. “wh-“ He jumped, sounding frightened. “Shhh, don’t say anything. Just listen to me. I need to ask you some questions. If the answer is yes, tut once and if its no, tut twice. Is there anyone close to you?” You asked, knowing mitaka was known for his tutting while on shift. Two tuts. “Good.” You took a breath, knowing this could get you both in a lot of trouble, him more than you. “Where have you been? Everyones worried sick. Ever since you left the orders been in tatters. Kylos out of control, phasma wont stop barking order and hux doesn’t-“ He tried to speak but you cut him off, their names hurting you. “I don’t care.” You snapped then sighed. “Look, the supreme leader sent me away. It was decided by the four of them. Im not coming back.” “What?!” He spoke too loudly and you heard someone shout across the bridge. “What is it?” They demanded but he was quicker. “What is the code to unlock the access to the control panel?” He rattled off without giving himself away. Someone responded with 4 numbers and he thanked them before returning to you in a hushed voice. “why would they-?” He started to ask but you cut him off again. “Look, we have bigger problems than that. I intercepted a hack by the republic to the first order ship. They are hacking your defences as we speak!” You told him, turning to your other laptop to quickly gain access to the ship from both. “Shit! What are we going to do!” He started to panic. “Help me. I can try hack the hack but it will take a while. I need you to tell me exactly whats going on right now.” You spoke as your fingers whizzed over the keyboard. “We found the rebellions ship. It has their princess on it. We are about to attack. Its planned for about 5 minutes time once everything’s in place.” He said in a hushed voice. “Shit, they will be in your system before then. Ive managed to slow the hack down but not by much. I need you to-“ You shut up when you heard a very familiar voice in the background. “Whats the progress on the scum?” Huxs voice spoke with that air of demand and authority he was known for. For some reason, hearing his voice was more painful than you ever thought it would be. Someone answered from the other side. “Don’t speak to me unless you absolutely have to, okay?” You hoped he remembered the tutting thing which he had when he tutted once. “Okay, im going to put a screen up on your monitor in a moment. Ill put it in the lower right corner. Type your log in details so I can gain access to the codes I need.” You could get them yourself but it was faster to get his details in. Sure enough, his log in appeared on your screen. “Perfect.” You quickly opened up to show how far the rebellions hack was along, expecting it to only be 75 % but when you heart jumped up into your throat. It was done. Just then, you heard the sound of chaos and then a loud crash coming from the bridge. “holy shit!” mitaka gasped, fear obvious in his voice. You could hear people asking what had happened, what was going on and why your defences were down. mitaka whispered your name. “Im trying, they were quicker than I thought!” You growl as you hack into their system and attempt to break their connection with them. “[y/n], their shooting at us!” mitaka growled as the sound of another hit made you flinch. You could hear Hux shouting commands but his voice broke slightly. He was scared. They all were. “Wait wait wait!” You rambled, your fingers smashing the buttons. You couldn’t help but notice how hard your heart was beating. You weren’t even on the ship, but you felt the fear and you wanted to save your friends. And your husband. Cursing yourself, you knew you were still in love with him but this wasn’t the time to face such feeling. finally, you broke the connection. Now you needed to put the defence shield back up. “[y/n]? their aiming right at us.” Mitakas voice shook. “I know, I know. Im almost there.” You shook your head, imagining the look on the crew as they saw their enemy aiming at them and there was nothing between them. If they hit the front of the ship with the windows. They were as good as dead. “Im so close.” You breathed, hoping it would calm him ever so slightly. “[y/n]?” he sounded like he had just stood up. “nearly done.” Your voice broke as you furiously tried to get the defence shied back online. So close. “[y/n]!” mitaka screamed just as you managed to bring the shield back up. As soon as it was up, you saw it take immediate damage. You had just saved the entre crew. sitting back, you took a deep breath but it was short lived. “Why did you say her name?!” A voice hissed in your ear, as hux demanded an answer from mitaka. “she just saved all of us.” Mitaka said in an authorities voice. “She intercepted a hack made by the rebellion to take down our defence shield and put it back up.” there a brief moment of silence, then dead air. You were disconnected. ----------------- time skip ---------------- It had been a day since the hack, since you had had any contact with mitaka. You were scared to say the least. He could face possible charges for allowing you the access he had. You didn’t want him to get into trouble for you. it was just after nightfall when you heard a ship landing near by. It was easy to head in the silence of the country. Going to the window, you saw a single ship, one small and intimate that couldn’t take more than 3 people at a push. You wondered if it was mitaka who was now getting expelled with you. But then your heart jumped into your throat. Hux stepped off the ship alone. His eyes fell on the cottage then walked towards it. Going to the door, you opened it before he could get to there first. When he saw you, he paused. You wore a summer dress that hugged your cuves beautifully. Your hair fell down to frame your face nicely. You looked healthy, happy even despite the blank expression you wore. “Why are you here?” You asked, your arms cross over your chest as you leaned against the door. “I came to take you back.” He cleared his throat first then spoke as if he had any authority here. “Back?” You raised an eyebrow at him. “yes, back with me. You can return to the first order, regain your rank. We can be together again.” He nodded, grasping his hands behind his back. “what makes you think I want to go back?” You frowned, your annoyance obvious. “we-“ He started to speak, but you interrupted. “besides, you were the one who sent me away. You didn’t want me anymore so you threw me off the ship like trash. And on our anniversary!” You spat, trying to sound angry but sounding just as heartbroken. “I didn’t want this.” He lowered his eyes from yours, refusing to look at you anymore. You wanted to hurt him like he had hurt you. Walking up, you stood in front of him and ducking your head to look him in the eyes. The second he realised how close you were, he took shuddered breath as he stared down at you, his mouth slightly open. He looked at you the same way he had when you married him. Like you were his everything. “Do you want me?” You asked in a sweet voice. “Yes.” He breathed, his voice barley a whisper as he glanced to your lips then back to your eyes. “Then-“ You paused, moving so your lips were only an inch away. “-you shouldn’t have abandoned me here.” With that, you turned and walked back to the house. Hux staggered slightly then realised you were gone. He quickly found you and bolted for you, quicker than you had ever seen him move in your life. He grabbed your upper arm and forced you back to look at him. “I didn’t abandon you.” He argued, rage overtaking his features with a hint of desperateness. “No, you’re right. You got other people to do it.” You screamed in his face, tears spilling down your cheek. When he saw your tears, his quickly let go of your arm to cup your cheeks. “We thought it was best. We knew the scum were going to attack and we decided to keep you safe. We sent you here for your own good.” His voice shook as he spoke. “It doesn’t matter anymore.” You whispered as you pulled away from him, unable to bear the contact anymore. “Are you happy here?” Hux suddenly asked, his voice behind you. He tried to walk around you so he could see your face but you ducked away again. You heard him sign and then walk over to the window. There was a moment of silence as he looked out over the rolling hills. “I never intended all this. You know that, right?” He looked at you but you snap your head away from him. Another sigh. “this was going to be my anniversary gift to you. This got your attention and you glanced up at hux, but he had gone back to staring out the window. He looked more… human than you had seen him look in a long time. Maybe it was the natural sunset which seemed to bring life back into his eyes. He looked down, searching the ground for something but not finding it. “I was going to bring you here that night. Before all this happened. I was going to surprise you.” He smiled to himself, imagining how happy you would have looked when he presented you with the house. Maybe even how you would have grabbed his hand and dragged him inside. But then his face fell. “then we got word that the rebels were going to attack us. Not enough time or supplies to evacuate everyone. We had to fight. But then there was you. My one weakness, my one flaw and yet the best thing about me.” This time, he looked to you with such love and admiration in his eyes. When he was you were looking at him, he couldn’t keep eye contact so he looked back out the window. “I decided to send you away. To send you here. I thought it was for the best. You would be safe. But then Ren said you would never leave. So it was arranged to look like… well you know what happens next.” He signs. “Yes, you chuck me out. You packed my stuff behind my back and had the audacity to put a photo of us in there.” You spoke with a emotionless voice as tears ran down your cheek. “I wanted you to-“ He turns to you but you snap back. “You wanted me to come running into your arms when you decided to pick me up again.” You snapped at him. You had no reason to distrust him or what he told you, but that doesn’t mean it still doesn’t hurt. “I did.” His words took you back. You expect him to deny it, to try make up another excuse. “I hoped you might convince yourself it wasn’t what it seemed.” “What?” You frown, confused. “You’re good at that. You convicted yourself that im a good man. You convicted yourself I was worthy of your hand in marriage. You convicted yourself that Ren isn’t completely useless. I hoped that this might be another moment like those.” He signed, looking to the ground again. “It was the only thing that made the last few months bearable.” sudden, arms wrapped around your body and your husband embraced you for the first time in months. “Tell me you still love me. Please.” He whispers as he pleads with you. His voice broke and you could feel how he was shaking. His whispers seemed to be from a broken man rather than someone who had just won a war. There was a brief moment of silence as you thought through your answer. “You’re wrong about that, you know.” You finally said, making him pull back to look down at you in confusion. “About me being good at persuading myself. See, Ive spent the last few weeks telling myself how angry I was and how I could never forgive you. I told myself I didn’t love you and I would never come back to you if you asked.” “Does, does this mean?” He trails off, unable to finish the sentence. You bit your lip and nod. In a moment, your husbands lips were on yours, kissing you passionately and with such need you nearly collapsed. “Do you have to return tonight?” you asked against his lips. “No, I can remain here for 3 days.” He didn’t open his eyes as he touched his forehead to yours. “good.” You breathed as you grabbed his hand and started to pull him upstairs but before you could get to the bottom, he stopped you. “Could… would you put this back on?” He then pulls your engagement and wedding ring out of his pocket, holding it out on a shaking hand. You smiled as you left out your left hand to him. He took it, kissed the back of your hand before sliding your rings back on, sealing it with another kiss. “Now, we should make up for lost time.” He smiles as he lifts you off the ground easily and carries you up stairs.

#star wars #general hux #general hux x reader #general hux/reader #general armitage hux x reader #hux x reader #armitage hux #armitage hux/reader #armitage hux x reader

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trevoriirw639 · 4 years ago

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The Worst Videos of All Time About sandale piele

The first time I saw Heath Ledger, it absolutely was accidentally. My day and later on to-be partner, Nick, took me to determine ‘The Sixth Perception’, at last succumbing to look pressure to guess the large surprise ending. By now, ‘The Sixth Perception’ was off the major theater chain circuit and only screening in smaller suburban independent theaters, which led us to practical experience a type of now rare occasions: a double-attribute matinee. The main movie was ’10 Things I Loathe About You’.

Very well handed teen videos, even All those with Shakespearian-centered scripts, we shyly admitted to liking ten Matters. Wow, I really like the male guide, what was his identify? Hes Australian, you realize, replied Nick. And in standard Aussie-vogue, I was doubly amazed and now stupidly crammed with countrywide satisfaction. A further outstanding Australian up-and-comer to affix the speedily expanding queue to grace Hollywood screens.

Many years afterwards, I might often grab the DVD to fill a cheerless afternoon and locate myself viewing and rewinding exactly the same scene. Time and again and over again. My solution responsible pleasure. Heath sliding down the pole, microphone in hand, singing Youre just far too superior being genuine, cant just take my eyes off of you The brass band kicks in. Which charmingly defiant half-run, 50 %-prancing throughout The varsity methods. The scene is excellent. Its inexplicable. He just has that previous-fashioned it element.

Im not a star-struck supporter and was never ever a type of teens with Motion picture-star idol posters plastered around my Bed room walls, but this Youngsters bought talent.

After which came All those scene-stealing roles that thoroughly blew us absent. The Patriot. Monsters Ball. And at last top-person standing and an Academy Award nomination. By now, we were just utilized to owning One more popular Australian up there with the rest of the world’s good expertise churning out an unlimited array of numerous, still illustrious movie roles.

We experienced no idea. It was not limitless. It wasn't what we expected.

When individuals who Ive in no way fulfilled but significantly admire die, Im unhappy. But Ive by no means cried before. I have not right before felt that coronary heart wrenching overwhelming shock that lasted for days following I read the information. This time it absolutely was in some way additional private. The moment I read through the specific listing of the first report of his deathbed scene, I intuitively knew how he died.

10 days afterwards the ultimate professional medical examiners report confirmed my suspicions.

Hollywood is Xanax-city. Sensation down, pop a Xanax. Experience stressed, pop a Xanax. Should accomplish at your best possible, pop a Xanax. A-record stars really feel the strain to offer A-quality performances when engaged on multi-million greenback movies. There’s excessive revenue at stake. The extreme strain, the two inside and exterior, is immeasurable. The studios are jeopardizing billions, spending The celebs thousands and thousands, along with the actors are unnaturally subjected to more pressure than we mere mortals can imagine.

Heath Ledger, himself, admitted that after the around the world release of the Knights Tale with its instant paparazzi-bulb-flashing stardom, his strain stages improved 10-fold.

Xanax is definitely the trade name with the generic anti-anxiety/tranquillizer prescription drug, alprazolam, mentioned in Ledgers toxicity report. One other anti-stress and anxiety drug was diazepam, or more frequently referred to as Valium. These prescription drugs are from a class of frequently prescribed tranquilizers known as benzodiazepines or just often called benzos.

According to the most current National Wellbeing Study, around 10 million scripts of benzos are penned yearly in Australia alone with its meagre inhabitants of twenty million compared to three hundred million in the US.

Many Medical doctors will compose a script for benzos a lot quicker than a rushing bullet. But the actual Risk is always that a lot of of these don't know the very long-term outcomes these medications have with your technique, how to present their people the correct suggestions when administering or checking the dosages, and additional frighteningly – how to handle their clients benzo withdrawal method.

For starters, That is how benzos have an affect on The body or maybe more importantly your brain. Benzodiazepines improve, or somewhat, boost your brains primary neurotransmitter, generally referred to as GABA. Finally, and this can be as promptly as three to 4 months if using a each day dose, your Mind will end manufacturing its very own GABA and rely completely to the synthetic benzo.

GABA is An important neurotransmitter mainly because it influences nearly almost everything else. Primarily it boosts the brains other neurotransmitters like Serotonin and Dopamine. Every one of the brains neurotransmitters have essential features which include, voluntary motion in the muscles, wakefulness, slumber, memory perform, sensory transmission – Specifically discomfort, and much, a lot more.

The trouble is usually that from this level on your brain requires more benzo as tolerance begins the downward spiral, as well as Mind needs better and higher dosages to obtain exactly the same effect. In case the affected individual will not be supplied the right dosage or administration information, that insidious and infrequently-undiagnosed disorder called Benzo Withdrawal Syndrome (BWS) will start its unpleasant and most likely hazardous descent.

BWS is understood by industry experts in the field for its severity and prolonged character. It could get several years to fully withdraw from benzos, In spite of proper treatment and supervision. With out this knowledge, the unwitting affected person can put up with about 30 symptoms, the commonest remaining unrelenting sleeplessness, extreme ache and mood improvements. People who have been using benzos for a relatively small time can working experience withdrawal indicators even although getting the drug. Moreover, if you have been getting them for a prolonged time, then out of the blue halt, dire instances may possibly occur. Or, for the pretty minimum, extra suffering, more despair and unrelenting sleeplessness.

Once we now examine Heath Ledgers issues, does this audio acquainted? Anything points to Extraordinary Benzo Withdrawal, but no-one particular is exclaiming its potential risks. In reality, most GPs and in some cases medical center Medical doctors acknowledge they know hardly any about Benzo Withdrawal. Some even refer their sufferers to drug rehabilitation centers an absolute no-no In line with sandale rieker benzo counselors. Benzo withdrawal is the precise reverse to alcohol or Avenue drug dependency. You dont choose to abruptly eliminate the benzo from the physique, because they frequently do in drug rehabilitation. The Mind requires the benzo. A person must steadily withdraw the synthetic benzo until the brain can sooner or later raise its individual GABA. Unexpected cessation of benzos could potentially cause critical difficulties which include seizures and blackouts.

When in BWS, the counselors suggest towards taking any medication or medications in any respect. Paracetamol might be The one thing the body can cope with for agony aid. Almost nothing else. Even codeine is forbidden. Also, one particular must entirely refrain from alcohol, caffeine, and all stimulants. There exists a robust protocol to be followed and devoid of this expertise, the affected person is easily place at fantastic chance.

The Ashton Guide, the acknowledged benzodiazepine bible, warns:

Drug interactions: Benzodiazepines have additive consequences with other drugs with sedative steps such as other hypnotic’s, some antidepressant’s (e.g. amitriptyline [Elavil], doxepin [Adapin, Sinequan]), main tranquilizers or neuroleptics (e.g. prochlorperazine [Compazine], trifluoperazine [Stelazine]), anticonvulsant’s (e.g. phenobarbital, phenytoin [Dilantin], carbamazepine [Atretol, Tegretol]), sedative antihistamines (e.g. diphenhydramine [Benadryl], promethazine [Phenergan]), opiates (heroin, morphine, meperidine), and, importantly, alcohol. Sufferers using benzodiazepines ought to be warned of such interactions. If sedative medicine are taken in overdose, benzodiazepines might include to the potential risk of fatality.

The real difficulty is that there are incredibly several experts in managing BWS; they won't include your neighborhood health practitioner, healthcare facility, or drug clinic. Nevertheless, there are good BWS experts that can be extremely practical, but they are often located in specially funded tranquillizer Restoration clinics.

One need to ask, why dont Health professionals know relating to this? The situation is that they simply just dont. Is it their fault or maybe the pharmaceutical organizations that cash in on these addictions? There is little or no dissemination of knowledge in the Group, the medical fraternity or within the pharmaceutical companies about benzodiazepines. And, In line with BWS counselors Functioning in the sphere, There is certainly insufficient study or empirical scientific tests on the results of benzos and BWS management to assist them with their intense workload’s.

Why? Who's at fault? Who's answerable for remedying the specific situation? Why would be the people who generate the scripts uninformed with regard to the following-consequences and probable risks connected with benzodiazepines?

Can our beloved Heath Ledgers Demise be a minimum of a person catalyst that should attract this devastating travesty to the public’s interest to demand more info?

I hope so.

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foodhx · 4 years ago

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I havent written in a very long time. Im grateful i wrote previously and have something to look back on. So much has changed. S and i broke up. Its been more than a year, depending on how you count it, maybe 1.5 yrs.

Im not sure where im going with this, or in life. There were things i believed in before, had hope and ideals. I havent any hope now, i dont know what to hope in (apart from God). Its been like this for a while. What does it look like to hope in God now?

Ive ended up in a specialty i didnt plan on going into. What’s done is done. But the learning point is, it would have been better to take more time to rotate around before deciding, because it was an emotional, impulsive decision (felt way too rushed, i knew this even at the time of applying). It wasnt a peaceful decision, the way such “life-defining” decisions should be made. It was an emotional time - literally six days after S sent that message to break up with me, my boss texted to ask if i was still interested in applying. Im deeply grateful for the opportunity he gave me which i didn’t and don’t deserve. I should have a word with him at some point. On a side note, im deeply grateful that this dept and the people i work with now are mostly of incredible Godly character, a very unique and irreplaceable quality in a workplace.

So much has fallen apart. My career, and the relationship with the person who became my best friend over the course of 7-9 years. It felt unreal, standing there watching everything explode. I couldnt believe what was happening. I never expected things to explode this way. I never expected myself to leave, and i never expected him to leave. He didn’t mean to be cruel, but i experienced it as such, through the whole months of me begging. Especially at the point where he physically walked out on me and closed the door when i was crying hysterically - not to be overdramatic, but it felt like pure coldness to do that to my uncontrollably hemorrhaging heart (like watching that aorta spurting on cardiothoracics). He still thinks choosing not to carry on is right and directed by God, which i doubt. He declined reconciliation despite months of my sincere apologies, pleading with him and my attempts to remediate where i screwed up (he hasn’t made an effort to reconcile with me in 1.5 yrs, cos he’s lost faith in our relationship and, it seems, me, entirely. Unfair as it might feel, that’s the way he feels). All in all, the break up was devastating. I’m still disoriented and trying to find my feet.

Ive significantly lost respect for him, because of his choice not to carry on and to, well, give up on us. I feel that this was more an emotional decision than a decision based on a true seeking of God, true dying to self and true obedience, especially to certain biblical instructions (love your neighbour as yourself, in humility value others above yourself, the relationship as an expression of love for Christ “what you did to the least of these you did to me” rather than a competition for love for Him, 1cor13).

I feel his decision to give up, abandon and betray is not biblically based, even if it can be justifiable by a twist of verses (he justifies not carrying on as him “putting God first”). I feel his decision was driven more by his hurt that i broke up with him, over text, last feb, and my cheating on him in july, than a real, honest, self-challenging attempt to “put God first”. I feel the decision not to carry on came more from his hurt over what i did to him than a true excavation of what it means to obey God and seek Him first. Its not necessary to leave someone whom youve built up a relationship with in order to put God first. Its arguable that being there for one’s friends IS putting God first, rather than leaving them because you can’t deal with it emotionally (greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends).

E says that its never so simple as “i heard it from God”, its all a mix of (sometimes sinful) human emotions as well as right-minded intention to follow God. How much of this move is driven by God vs his own human uncontrollable emotions? I doubt he’s admitted the whole truth to himself or me.

But i think his hurt is valid. It definitely is. He says he still doesnt feel whole coming out of 2019 and how i broke things off with him over text in feb and how i cheated in july. I’m not sure what he feels because i cant identify, but he says he doesnt want to deal with the pain with me because it was caused by me, and he’s not ready to talk to me (“can’t deal with it”). He tried to forgive me at the time, attending counselling with me, but gave up after 2 sessions. So i guess i can believe there may be a part of him that could want to work towards a friendship at some point (tho this is thrown into doubt at times, because of our apparent fundamental and irreconciliable differences). On my end, I feel that ive given him the benefit of the doubt many times, and hes always disappointed me in this process, since the break up. He’s never showed up or been the bigger person.

I could give him time, or i could end things. I could give him time to process what he needs to, and give him the chance to potentially engage with me the right way at some time in the future.

Should i, though?

Well, yes and no. Part of me knows he will only ever disappoint me cos thats all hes ever done consistently. The other part of me wants to give him the benefit of the doubt and just let him process things in his own time because its destructive to operate with such cynicism. One is overly cynical, the other is overly hopeful, and both responses arent centred.

Overall i just dont want to think about this anymore. I just want this whole thing out of my mind.

But is that enough for me to cut him out completely and forever? When i ask him, he replies that he wants to be friends but doesn’t know how or when that could happen. He isn’t at all invested in this “friendship”, even if he says its what he wants. He thinks God needs to encourage it or something before he will put in the effort... its all so screwed up cos of his ridiculous view or way of hearing from God that’s so mystical and non-bible based. I honestly feel really disgusted by him. He has been asking me not to contact him for a long time, more than a year. I’ve agreed to honour that. Mainly out of an understanding that he’ll never change, and ive outgrown him and his cuckoo ideas about how to hear from God. I know even if we become friends in the future, he’s gonna be the exact same dud - and why would i want to go back to that? Even as a friend. My basic requirements for friendship are that i respect the person and they respect me back. He absolutely does not respect me, and i absolutely dont respect him. Even tho we pay lip service to each other in emails for the sake of appearing holy and peace loving, we each are 100% convinced we know better. I don’t see a friendship here. I see disgust. I see contempt. Its beyond repair. And theres no instruction from God to repair it. So it will lie unrepaired for life.

Thinking about him makes me get into unpleasant thoughts and feelings. I dont have the exact words to describe how i feel. Not quite just anger (im over the peak of that), not really sadness (i do feel its sad that i still care about him and think about him so much when he wants nothing to do with me and wants me to not contact him - i mean, i dont have a practice of asking people not to contact me indefinitely, i think its rude, unfair and cruel), not just superiority cos i do admit i dont know everything and God works in mysterious ways and He still establishes a relationship with S even tho there is likely disobedience and misguidedness in S that he may never ever come to realize in this life). Its not purely a sense of betrayal as i walked out first - i knew he wasnt what i wanted, cos he wasnt loving me, or kind, or Christlike in his countenance towards not just me but everyone around us. I shouldnt just have walked out i should have pointed us to God, but there you have it. I dont regret ending things cos i know if i had continued we would be in a worse place than we are in now, where im stuck in an unhappy relationship out of obligation and fear of being alone. Its better to not be in a relationship than to be in one where you arent respected or loved.

I would say this whole event has had an impact on my relationship with... effort and commitment? Knowing you can try your best and have everything still fail. I used to believe in the “power of my dreams”. That i could get anything i wanted if i wanted it enough. But ive learnt that where the outcome is dependent on things outside my control (eg other people, genetics, politics), just trying my best and bringing my best intentions isnt enough. Its something but it doesnt guarantee an outcome - nothing can. You can say God can guarantee an outcome, but i would be cautious to believe only what He’s given in the bible and some revelations that are consistent with that and have been confirmed by wiser believers than myself, and those who know me well.

I have to hope again. And i have to stop wallowing and being selfpitiful. No. I have to hold myself to a higher standard.

The between places.

To focus on the next right thing - passing anatomy and being punctual. Seeking God, esp in my work...

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octannibal-blake · 8 years ago

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"Im going to need you to put on some underwear" or something prompt for bellarke... hopefully its bellamy saying it to clarke, or both situations x

I love this one. I love it. Thanks for the prompt, nonny! This got a little….risque but with a prompt like that, how could I not?

A normal relationship looks like this: mutual trust, honesty, passion, and respect. Eventually, love. For Clarke, well, she’s never been any good at normal relationships. Hell, her current one was built off mutual hate and loathing paired with constant bickering. There is definitely passion, oh yes, and that was discovered the first time she and Bellamy ever slept together. She’d like to say they were both drunk and just stumbled upon it but the truth is, it was bound to happen. One moment they had been arguing, probably over something small, and the next they were ripping each others clothes off and falling into bed together. There is definitely passion.

Sometimes it manifests itself in unique ways. They argue over Netflix documentaries and their historical accuracies (and usually she loses because Bellamy Blake is a history NERD), over how to properly fry an egg, and even over stuff they normally agree on. Okay, maybe they argue because they enjoy it sometimes and when Bellamy gets fired up, he’s extremely attractive. All this to say, their passion is never absent, just present in specific moments. Like this one, as she stands in the mirror trying to make herself look like a sex object but not for the reason you would think.

No, she’s currently sporting one of Bellamy’s dress shirts complete (or incomplete, depending on how you look at it) without anything underneath. No bra. No panties. No shorts. Zilch. While, technically, her endgame is exactly what you think it would be, it’s not without making him suffer first. After all, he started the war. She’s ready to end it.

Pranks are nothing new to them. Even during their mutual hatred, pre-passion, stage, they played pranks on each other often. Stupid shit, sometimes embarrassing shit. Now that they’re together, it’s only gotten worse. Today he took off the toilet seat in the bathroom causing her to fall into the toilet bowl as she shuffled in, half asleep, for her morning bathroom break. It’s just as childish as it sounds and all because they had gotten into a fight over the toilet seat two days ago (he’s used to living alone now, he can’t help old habits!).

Is she taking this too far? It’s possible, but she’s already committed and honestly, it’s way better than falling ass first into a nasty toilet. He’s currently sitting in the living room on some important conference call (college professors do this, apparently) completely unexpecting. Show time.

He pays her no mind as she walks into the living room, typing away at something on his laptop and nodding profusely at something someone on the other line is saying. She’s trying to go for casual, so she walks to the TV stand and pretends to be looking at movies. He’s sitting directly across from her, so she knows he is seeing this. As she bends over further, she hears his sharp intake of breath as the shirt reveals her perfectly round ass. She’s been doing squats specifically for moments like this. When she turns around, she sees his face has gone completely slack and he’s watching her in reverie.

“Um, yeah,” he says into the phone, “I’ve just been trying to figure out ways to engage students in the content more. Make them want to show up for class and participate…”

Always a dreamer, that one. Now that she has attention, she moves towards the couch with a devilish smile. On instinct, he leans back and watches her saunter towards him. He is humming into the phone, pretending to really comprehend what the person is telling him. She crawls onto the couch and straddles him, letting her naked bottom half rub against him. His eyes are hooded and he has completely checked out from the conversation, struggling to hold the phone to his ear.

“Yes sir, I’m listening,” he manages to get out with a steady voice. She grinds down on him for extra measure and she swears he whimpers.

She kisses his neck, right in the spot she knows he likes, and he seems to lose all self control in the worst way possible.

“I’m going to need you to put on some underwear!” he hisses and both their eyes go wide. She has to cover her mouth to keep from laughing at his mortification.

“I’m sorry, everyone. I’m watching my nephew,” he recovers fairly quickly, a little to her displeasure, “I’m going to have to dial back in once I take care of this.”

Luckily, he hasn’t moved her from his lap so she grinds back down for good measure. He presses down on the red button aggressively and tosses his phone on the table. Before she knows it, he has her pinned to the couch below him.

“Very funny,” he growls, and she’s happy to know there is no real malice in his voice.

“That’s what you get for the toilet seat.”

He laughs and pokes at her sides, “Is that the best you got, Griffin? Seducing me while I’m on the phone?”

She shrugs innocently and leans up to kiss him. She squeals in delight when he picks her up from the couch and throws her over his shoulder.

“Shouldn’t you call them back?” she asks.

“I can think of something else I’d rather do.”

Like she said: passion.

#bellarke #bellarke fanfiction #bellarke prompt #ask

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