#because if it had happened say 8 years ago i might have really just said fuck it and died on the floor

[passumbapper]

tmi maybe but im posting this bc a lot of people I care about are on here. I think I almost died this morning from a (very) sudden loss of blood pressure at work. I'm okay now as far as anyone can tell. just got back from the hospital (to which I had to take the Dreaded American Ambulance Ride) after about a whole day of observation and some IV saline and after many tests no one has any answers for what actually happened. I had eaten, I wasn't dehydrated, my heart and lungs are healthy, I don't have diabetes, I thought it was anaphylaxis at first but everyone who looked after me today (there were many of them) said it wasn't (and I don't have any allergies that I know of). anyway I'm glad I'm still here and I'm glad you hellsite denizens are too. love you. it's been a day......pass the detritus

[inkskinned]

the thing about art is that it was always supposed to be about us, about the human-ness of us, the impossible and beautiful reality that we (for centuries) have stood still, transfixed by music. that we can close our eyes and cry about the same book passage; the events of which aren't real and never happened. theatre in shakespeare's time was as real as it is now; we all laugh at the same cue (pursued by bear), separated hundreds of years apart.

three years ago my housemates were jamming outdoors, just messing around with their instruments, mostly just making noise. our neighbors - shy, cautious, a little sheepish - sat down and started playing. i don't really know how it happened; i was somehow in charge of dancing, barefoot and laughing - but i looked up, and our yard was full of people. kids stacked on the shoulders of parents. old couples holding hands. someone had brought sidewalk chalk; our front walk became a riot of color. someone ran in with a flute and played the most astounding solo i've ever heard in my life, upright and wiggling, skipping as she did so. she only paused because the violin player was kicking his heels up and she was laughing too hard to continue.

two weeks ago my friend and i met in the basement of her apartment complex so she could work out a piece of choreography. we have a language barrier - i'm not as good at ASL as i'd like to be (i'm still learning!) so we communicate mostly through the notes app and this strange secret language of dancers - we have the same movement vocabulary. the two of us cracking jokes at each other, giggling. there were kids in the basement too, who had been playing soccer until we took up the far corner of the room. one by one they made their slow way over like feral cats - they laid down, belly-flat against the floor, just watching. my friend and i were not in tutus - we were in slouchy shirts and leggings and socks. nothing fancy. but when i asked the kids would you like to dance too? they were immediately on their feet and spinning. i love when people dance with abandon, the wild and leggy fervor of childhood. i think it is gorgeous.

their adults showed up eventually, and a few of them said hey, let's not bother the nice ladies. but they weren't bothering us, they were just having fun - so. a few of the adults started dancing awkwardly along, and then most of the adults. someone brought down a better sound system. someone opened a watermelon and started handing out slices. it was 8 PM on a tuesday and nothing about that day was particularly special; we might as well party.

one time i hosted a free "paint along party" and about 20 adults worked quietly while i taught them how to paint nessie. one time i taught community dance classes and so many people showed up we had to move the whole thing outside. we used chairs and coatracks to balance. one time i showed up to a random band playing in a random location, and the whole thing got packed so quickly we had to open every door and window in the place.

i don't think i can tell you how much people want to be making art and engaging with art. they want to, desperately. so many people would be stunning artists, but they are lied to and told from a very young age that art only matters if it is planned, purposeful, beautiful. that if you have an idea, you need to be able to express it perfectly. this is not true. you don't get only 1 chance to communicate. you can spend a lifetime trying to display exactly 1 thing you can never quite language. you can just express the "!!??!!!"-ing-ness of being alive; that is something none of us really have a full grasp on creating. and even when we can't make what we want - god, it feels fucking good to try. and even just enjoying other artists - art inherently rewards the act of participating.

i wasn't raised wealthy. whenever i make a post about art, someone inevitably says something along the lines of well some of us aren't that lucky. i am not lucky; i am dedicated. i have a chronic condition, my hands are constantly in pain. i am not neurotypical, nor was i raised safe. i worked 5-7 jobs while some of these memories happened. i chose art because it mattered to me more than anything on this fucking planet - i would work 80 hours a week just so i could afford to write in 3 of them.

and i am still telling you - if you are called to make art, you are called to the part of you that is human. you do not have to be good at it. you do not have to have enormous amounts of privilege. you can just... give yourself permission. you can just say i'm going to make something now and then - go out and make it. raquel it won't be good though that is okay, i don't make good things every time either. besides. who decides what good even is?

you weren't called to make something because you wanted it to be good, you were called to make something because it is a basic instinct. you were taught to judge its worth and over-value perfection. you are doing something impossible. a god's ability: from nothing springs creation.

a few months ago i found a piece of sidewalk chalk and started drawing. within an hour i had somehow collected a small classroom of young children. their adults often brought their own chalk. i looked up and about fifteen families had joined me from around the block. we drew scrangly unicorns and messed up flowers and one girl asked me to draw charizard. i am not good at drawing. i basically drew an orb with wings. you would have thought i drew her the mona lisa. she dragged her mother over and pointed and said look! look what she drew for me and, in the moment, i admit i flinched (sorry, i don't -). but the mother just grinned at me. he's beautiful. and then she sat down and started drawing.

someone took a picture of it. it was in the local newspaper. the summary underneath said joyful and spontaneous artwork from local artists springs up in public gallery. in the picture, a little girl covered in chalk dust has her head thrown back, delighted. laughing.

[callsign-dexter]

A Home in His Heart

Request: You know what would be so cute 👀

A Severide x daughter fic 

I feel like he would be the best dad to a foster teen and I know you’d write it so well ❤️

Pairings: Kelly Severide x Foster-Adopted Daughter!Reader

Warnings: fluff, angst, swearing

Masterlist

A/N: I loved this so much that I might consider making this into a universe....

Not many people knew but Kelly Severide was a foster parent. He had been since he turned the legal age to become one. He's had kids of all different ages come and go but none of them stayed, it seemed like once they got there, they were gone. He tried not to get attached but that never was the case especially with his newest foster kid, you, that had just begun to stay with him.

You had been bounced around from foster home to foster home and it really bummed you out. Once you got comfortable in one you were being pushed into another, whether it be that they didn't want to be foster parents anymore or they claimed you were too difficult or they were abusive. You weren't a difficult child, you weren't far from it, until you started being bounced around so you held your emotions back and started acting out. 

You had been placed into foster care when you and your parents were in a car accident and it sadly took them away from you. You were the only one to have survived and you had no living grandparents and your aunt on your mom's side couldn't leave her busy life time as a lawyer to actually raise you, her job was more important than you. Your dad didn't have any siblings so that was out of the question so foster care it was. You loved your parents with all your heart and it hurt when you learned that they passed away. That was 4 years ago when you were 8 years old, now you're 12 years old. You just wanted a stable household.

Currently you are in the car being driven to your next foster home. Your social service worker, Zoey, was the one driving. You loved her and she loved you, she has kids of her own and you often asked if she could adopt you but she just gave you a sad smile and explained calmly why that couldn’t happen. She actually loved her job and she loved helping the kids. She felt so sympathetic for you after she heard your story. You were currently stopped at a stoplight and she looked over at you and saw that you were pouting and moody and she sighed this was to be expected. The last foster home practically kicked you out because they didn’t want to be foster parents anymore. “Y/N.” Zoey said in a caring soothing voice and you turned to look at her.

“Yea?” You asked 

“This one is going to be different.” She said and you looked at her and rolled your eyes.

“You always say that.” You said and she smiled and moved one hand from the steering wheel and put her hand on yours.

“Yes, I know but this one is going to be so different.” She said and she turned her attention and hand back to the steering wheel as the light turned green. 

“How?” You asked

“Well for one his name is Kelly Severide. He’s a firefighter and he loves kids.” She said as she pulled up to his house and it was nice. 2 story brick house with a truck parked outside a garage and a spacious front and backyard. He did have an apartment but when he started to foster, he figured he should invest in an actual house with a yard. You really liked the house. Zoey parked by Kell’s truck and killed the engine and turned to you. “Please give this one a try.” She said and you looked at her and nodded in agreement.

“Ok.” You said and she smiled and leaned over and hugged you. When she released you the both of you got out and you both grabbed your bags and headed to the front door. Zoey rang the doorbell and you stood there with your head down. After a minute the door opened to reveal a nice-looking man, he looked so kind and looked like he cared for everyone.

“Hi.” He said 

“Hi, I’m Zoey. We talked on the phone.” Zoey said and he smiled and nodded and this, she said pointing to you, “This is Y/N.” Zoey said and you looked up and he smiled and you actually felt safe with him.

“Hi, I’m Kelly.” He said with a kind voice and you smiled but didn’t say anything and he didn’t push. He stood back from the door and you both walked in. Once in he shut the door and you all walked into the living room and sat down on the couch and he in a chair. “So what hobbies are you into?” He asked looking at you and you looked up at him, that was new, you looked at Zoey and she gave you a nod and an encouraging nod. You turned to look at the man.

“I like taking pictures, hiking, reading, and helping people out, I used to do it with-.” You said but trailed off.

“Hey it’s ok.” He said

“With my parents.” You said and he smiled and nodded. 

“Do you play any sports?” He asked and you nodded eagerly.

“Soccer and softball are my favorites and I love playing them.” You said and he smiled.

“I used to play baseball when I was younger.” Kelly said and you looked at him.

“Really?” You asked and he nodded.

“Any foods you dislike or allergic to?” He asked and you thought about it and turned to Zoey for help.

“She’s allergic to nuts and shellfish.” Zoey said as she handed him a file, one you’re used to. He nodded.

“I don’t like most fish but that is probably because I never found one, I liked or it wasn’t cooked right.” You said trying to remember “I’m not really picky.” You said and he nodded and smiled.

“Anything you absolutely love?” He asked

“Sushi, as long as there is no shellfish, pizza, steak, love steak, and the list goes on.” You said with a smile.

“Why don’t I show you your new room and let you settle in while Zoey and I talk?” He asked and you nodded and you all stood and before Zoey or you could grab your bags, he grabbed them all in one go, the other foster homes would’ve made you carry them on your own. You walked up the stairs and two doors down he opened it. “We can paint it whatever color you want and decorate it however you want.” He said and you looked up at him.

“Really?” You asked shocked and he nodded and you ran to hug him. Something that surprised him and Zoey but it wasn’t unwelcomed and he hugged you back. You released him and started unpacking some things. 

“We’ll leave you to it.” He said and he and Zoey walked away and back downstairs. “Anything else I need to know?” He asked once they were in the kitchen.

“Her birthday is Y/B/D, which is next month on a Saturday. Also, her parent’s death anniversary is coming up on Friday in 2 weeks, she usually gets moody and acts out during this time.” She said and she watched him take out his phone and program the dates in his phone, something she hadn’t seen any other foster family do before. Just then you came down smiling and they turned when they heard you and smiled. 

“All unpacked?” Kelly asked and you nodded “Good. Tonight Firehouse 51 is having a cookout and everyone is looking forward to meeting you and you’re going to love them. They're all just children inside adult bodies.” He said and everyone chuckled.

“With that said I should be going.” Zoey said and you frowned and walked over and hugged her and then quickly released her. She looked at the both of you. “You both have my numbers so don’t hesitate to call day or night.” She and you both nodded. She gave you one more hug and then hugged Kelly and you both walked her to the door and she turned to you both again and mainly spoke to Kelly. “I’ll be back soon to see how everything is going.” She said and you looked at her.

“Will you be here for my birthday?” You asked and she smiled and looked at you.

“Of course, as long as it is ok with Mr. Severide.” She said and you looked at him and he looked at you as you gave him a puppy dog eyed look and he smiled.

“Of course it is ok with me. Also please call me Kelly. Mr. Severide was my father.” He said looking at Zoey and she smiled.

“Of course, Kelly. Well, I better be off. Y/N be good for Kelly and do everything he asks. Ok?” She asked and you nodded. She smiled and then she turned towards the door and opened it and walked out. You and Kelly watched her get in her car and back out she waved and you both waved back and then she was on the street driving away. Kelly turned to look at you. 

“So, what do you want to do first?” He asked

“Can you help me rearrange my bedroom?” You asked shyly and he smiled and nodded.

“Of course. Let’s go. We have some time before we have to be at the cookout.” He said as he and you walked back into the house and he shut the door and you both headed upstairs to your room. The both of you had spent time rearranging your bedroom and helped you hang stuff that you wanted hung. Kelly looked at his watch and he smiled and then looked up at you. “Why don’t you go and freshen up and then we can start heading our way to the cookout.” He said and you smiled and nodded at him. “I’ll be downstairs if you need me.” He said and you nodded and gave him a smile. You looked at yourself in the mirror and decided that you desperately needed a shower so you grabbed your clothes. You were quick to take your shower and get changed quickly and headed downstairs, something that was trained in you from bouncing from foster home to foster home and you hated it. 

“I’m ready.” You said when you joined Kelly in the kitchen and he turned and smiled.

“That was fast.” He said and you nodded and smiled sadly at him.

“Yea, my other foster homes made us take timed showers…” You said and trailed off not looking at him and that broke his heart. He walked over to you and lifted your head up gently.

“Hey, look at me.” He said and you did and you saw him smiling at you “You can take your time here. I want you to enjoy your time here. My home is your home.” He said and you nodded and he smiled and let go of your face and pulled you into a hug.

“Thank you, Kelly.” You said into his chest and he hugged you just a little bit tighter and kissed your head.

“Anytime kid.” He said into your hair. The two of you broke apart and he nodded and then grabbed his keys and the two of you were off heading to his truck. You started to get in the back but he was quick to shut the door and you looked up at him “You sit up front.” He said and you looked at him surprised, when you were at the other foster homes, they made you sit in the back no matter what. Zoey always had to tell you to sit up front as well.

“Really?” You asked and he smiled and nodded and then you went around the truck and opened the passenger side door and climbed in and settled in like you were meant to be there. He got on the driver’s side and started the engine. You wanted to turn the radio on but was hesitant and he saw this. 

“You can turn it on if you want and listen to whatever you want.” He said and again you looked at him surprised, you got yelled at if you tried to turn on the radio and listen to whatever you wanted. You smiled and were quick to turn on the radio and turn it to a country station. “Country is a favorite of mine.” He said and you looked at him with all the love in the world and he loved that he smiled and then put the truck into reverse and started to head to Herrmann’s place. 

“Have you always wanted to be a firefighter?” You asked shyly now second guessing if you should have said anything “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said anything.” You said after a minute of silence and he shook his head.

“Hey, no. I love when you ask questions, ask away. To answer your question, yes, I have.” He said and your eyes widened.

“That is so cool. I have so much respect for cops, firefighters, EMTs, and doctors. They saved my life and tried to save my parent’s life too.” You said and then got quiet and he was quick to notice that.

“You’re allowed to talk about them and to them. It helps with grieving.” He said again you were practically shut down when you started to talk about your parents. “I’m not trying to replace them and I want you to know that.” He said and you looked at him with tears in your eyes and he looked over at you when he was stopped at a stoplight and he smiled softly at you.

“Really?” You asked in a watery whisper.

“Really, Kiddo.” He said and then you hugged him the best you could. 

“Thank you.” You said and he smiled and kissed your head.

“Anytime, Kiddo. Anytime.” He said and then he turned his attention back to the road as the light turned green.  

“What is the rest of the firehouse like?” You asked curious. 

“They're goofy. Easy to get along with. We have several females on the team so you will most definitely not feel left out.” He said turning into a neighborhood. You nodded taking the information in.

“Are you seeing anyone?” You asked genuinely curious.

“No, I'm not.” He said and you knew he was hiding something.

“Do you like one of the girls?” You asked and he stayed quiet and he was blushing?

“No.” He said in a higher pitched voice.

“You do! You totally do!” You said and he blushed even harder. 

“Oh, look we're here!” He said trying to end the conversation as he parked and killed the engine.

“I'm gonna find out who.” You said with a mischievous grin and he looked over and smiled.

“No, you won't.” He said 

“Yes, I will.” You said and then got out of the truck and him following your lead. He already loved you; you were perfect and fun to get along with. Kelly was quick to catch up to you and he knocked on the door and after a minute it was opened and a man was standing in the doorway. 

“Kelly! Welcome!” He said and then turned to you. “Hi, I'm Christopher Herrmann and you must be Y/N.” He said and you looked down shyly and nodded.

“Hi.” You said and he smiled.

“Come on, give me a hug. You're family now.” Christopher said and pulled you into a hug which you shyly hugged back and then you two broke apart. “Get in here! Stella and the girls are dying to meet you.” He said and turned and you looked at Kelly. You were smiling when Stella’s name was mentioned and you smirked and he looked down at you.

“What?” He asked, “Stop looking at me like that.” He said and you shook your head as he started walking in and you followed suit.

“I'm closer to figuring it out. I already have a name.” You said and he turned to you.

“Don't you say anything.” He said pointing at you but you knew he was being playful.

“My lips are sealed.” You said making the motion and smirking. He shook his head and smiled; he really did like you. You followed him out to the backyard where a lot more people were and you started to get overwhelmed and stopped and he took notice of this especially when you stopped in the doorway.

“Hey,” He said, turning to you and getting serious and getting down to your level “if you start getting overwhelmed or want to go home, just tell me and we'll sort it out or go home. You're in control here.” He said and you nodded and he smiled and stood up and you clung to him. You liked Kelly a lot, he was so different from the last foster homes. You wanted to stay with him forever. 

Kelly walked over to someone with you in tow. One of the girls saw him and smiled “Kelly!” She yelled out and hugged him and he hugged back and then they released each other.

“Gabriela, this is Y/N. Y/N this is Gabriela Dawson she is a paramedic on Ambulance 61.” Kelly said and you shyly waved at her and she practically squealed with excitement.

“Kelly has nonstop talked about you and how excited he was. You’re gonna love it here and you’re gonna love it with him.” She said and hugged you and you hesitantly hugged her back.

“It’s nice to meet you.” You said when she released you.

“Come on, the others are dying to meet you!” She said and started ushering you and Kelly to the others. You arrived over to the group and Kelly greeted everyone and then he started to let them introduce themselves to you and you back to them. There were a lot of people and you were overwhelmed at first but throughout the cookout and playing games you slowly started to detach yourself from Kelly and started to hang out with more and more people. Kelly took note of this and was really happy at what he was seeing. One person seemed to be missing in the group and you saw Kelly looking around until you heard a female voice sound from near the house.

“Sorry, I’m late. I had some things that absolutely needed to get done.” She said and you saw Kelly light up like a Christmas tree, so this must be Stella you thought to yourself and smirked you figured it out.

“That’s ok. Herrmann just now started to cook.” Kelly said and hugged her “Oh! I want you to meet someone. Y/N!” He shouted and waved you over and you made your way over after excusing yourself. “Stella meet Y/N. Y/N this is Stella Kidd.” He said and he saw you smile and wave at her and she smiled back.

“Nice to meet you, Kelly has told me so much about you!” She exclaimed and hugged you and you hugged back and then looked at him with a smirk on your face and he knew that you knew that she was the one he liked.

“It’s nice to meet you too. I’ve been hearing a lot of good things about you from Kelly and the others.” You said and she smiled and then she was being called over to someone else and you looked at Kelly.

“Don’t.” He said and you smirked.

“Don’t what?” You asked, still smirking “Now I know who she is. This is gonna be fun.” You said and walked away to join Stella, Sylvie, and Gabriela. Occasionally you would look up at Kelly and smile sweetly at him but he knew what you were doing and he would just smile and shake his head. It was like you really were his kid.

A few hours later and the cookout was dwindling and you were spent and ready to go home. You made your rounds of bidding everyone that was still there a goodbye and then you were walking back to Kelly’s truck and hopped into the passenger side seat. You let out a sigh and relaxed into the seat. “Did you have a good time?” He asked as he turned the engine over and reversed the truck and you nodded.

“A really good time. Everyone is so nice. It was refreshing.” You said and let your eyes slip closed just now feeling how exhausted you were. Kelly put the truck in drive once he was on the road and looked over at you.

“I’m glad you had a good time. Everyone really liked you.” He said and you smiled and cracked your eyes open at him and then let them shut again and you were out before he even started to move. He turned the radio down and started heading home. It didn't take you both to be home, Kelly pulled into the driveway and killed the engine and looked over at you still sleeping away and he smiled. He got out and walked over to the passenger side door and carefully opened it. He undid your seatbelt and took you in his arms and carried you to the house and inside. He quietly shut the door and carried you upstairs to your room, he gently laid you down and took your shoes off and covered you up and made sure you were comfortable and headed out of your room and to the kitchen. It was late when you both got home so he understood why you had fallen asleep. He tidied everything up and then went upstairs and checked on you one more time and got ready for bed himself and in no time, he was asleep with a smile on his face. He was so lucky to have in his life, he knew you were it for him. He even is having thoughts about adopting you and that was rare for him but you just completed him.

The next morning you woke up confused but well rested. You yawned and stretched and then you smelt something that made your mouth water and that had you getting up but not before you changed out of your jeans and into sweats and threw on a hoodie. You walked down the stairs and into the kitchen where Kelly turned when he heard you. “Good morning. Sleep well?” He asked and you nodded.

“I did. Thank you for carrying me in last night.” You said and he smiled at you.

“You were sleeping well; no way was I going to wake you up. I’m strong enough to carry someone.” He said chuckling and that made you chuckle.

“Can I help with anything?” You asked, he shook his head.

“Nope not unless you want to but you’re not obligated to.” He said and you nodded. “You can just sit tight and breakfast will be ready, now.” He said as he turned off the stove and put pancakes and bacon on a plate and walked it over to the table. “Dig in.” He said and smiled and that is what you did. His cooking was delicious, more delicious than the other foster homes you’ve been in. 

“This is so good.” You said taking another bite.

“Thank you. I’m so glad you liked it. Just wait until you have food at the firehouse, you’ll fall in love.” He said and you smiled at him.

“I’m so looking forward to it.” You said and he smiled and took a bite of this food. 

You really loved it here. Zoey was right, this foster home was different and you were going to give him a chance.

——————————————————————

Throughout the two weeks that you were there you met a lot of people and you had fallen in love with each and every one of them. It was Friday the day your parents had passed away and it was hitting you hard to the point where you were acting out against Kelly but he never once got frustrated with you or threatened to send you back, he was patient with you. 

One day you had left school during lunch, you had started school the week before after being signed up by Zoey. Everything was too much and everything was too much, you were a bright intelligent girl and you loved school but you just needed away. You were also quick to make friends, two that you made friends with were named Sam and his boyfriend Cooper. You also made friends with a girl named Aubrey. They saw your look and became worried. “Everything ok, Y/N/N?” Sam asked and you looked at him and shook your head.

“No, today is just a good day.” You said hoping to leave it at that and they sensed that. “Hey I’m gonna go to the bathroom.” You said easily and they nodded and you headed out but instead of heading towards the bathroom you steered towards the entrance of the school and since you were allowed to eat outside nobody thought anything of it. You were quick to take off school grounds and headed your way to the park, thankfully you were from Chicago and knew your way around. Once at the park you sat on a bench with your knees up. Tears slowly started to spill out of your eyes. “Why? Why did you have to leave me?” You asked nobody in particular.

Back at the school lunch had ended and classes resumed but you were nowhere in sight and this worried the teachers and they had called the front office and they were quick to call Kelly. 

——————————————————————

Kelly and Stella were confused when they heard his phone ring, he had his ringer on in case it was your school trying to reach him. It rang twice before he picked up. 

“Kelly Severide?” Olivia, the front desk receptionist asked.

“This is he.” He answered “Is everything ok?” He asked if he looked at Stella and she could see the panic on his face. 

“This is Olivia from Chicago Middle School. We have been notified that your daughter has not been seen since lunch.” Olivia said and his blood ran cold.

“Thank you for letting me know.” He said not really knowing what to say.

“You’re welcome Mr. Severide.” She said and then they hung up the phone and he just stared ahead and then his mind began to race.

“Everything ok?” Stella asked concerned.

“Y/N isn’t at school. Nobody has seen her since lunch.” Kelly said. What if something happened to you? What if you were in danger and needed him? “I need to call Jay.” He said just then his phone rang and he looked at it and saw that it was Jay.

“Jay.” He said “Y/N isn’t at school.” He started to panic.

“I know.” Jay said 

“What if something happened? What if she needs medical assistance? What if- wait, how do you know?” He asked just now, hearing what he had said.

“She’s with me. I was on patrol with Hailey looking for someone and found her sitting on a bench in the park. She looked upset.” Jay said and then it hit Kelly.

“It’s the day her parents died. Zoey warned me she would be acting out. Where are you now?” He asked

“Still at the park. She’s in the truck with Hailey in the heat.” Jay said and Kelly nodded.

“Don’t move. I’ll be there soon.” Kelly said

“You got it.” Jay said and they hung up.

Kelly was so relieved; you were with someone he trusted and hopefully you trusted. He sat there for a few minutes. “Jay and Hailey are with her.” He said to Stella and she looked relieved.

“Oh, thank goodness. Go.” She said after she saw him just sitting there and then he got up and went to Boden and told him what was going on and he was quick to give him the keys to the truck and he was on his way to you.

——————————————————————

You were sitting there thinking about how stupid it was that you didn’t contact anyone especially Kelly and you were regretting it but you didn’t move. “Y/N?” You heard someone call your name and you turned around and saw that it was Jay Halstead, a friend of Kelly’s and you really liked him.

“Jay.” You said and turned back around as he came and sat next to you.

“What are you doing out here kid?” He asked 

“I walked out of school.” You said not looking at him.

“Why did you do that?” He asked

“I just got overwhelmed. I couldn’t take it. It’s not a good day.” You said and he nodded.

“Why don’t you come back to the truck? Get out of this cold.” He said and you nodded and you let him lead the way. When you got to the truck, he opened the back door and you got in and then noticed Hailey. “Stay here and I’m gonna call Kelly.” He said and you and Hailey nodded.

“Everything ok, Sweetheart?” Hailey asked looking back at you and you shook your head and she left it at that not pushing and you appreciated that. “If you need anything you can come and talk to any of us.” She said and you nodded. Just then Jay opened the driver’s side door and got in. 

“Kelly will be here in a few minutes.” He said looking at you and you nodded. Small talk was made and then they started talking about the case and this got you interested. 

“Have you thought about why he has been staying around this area?” You asked and they turned to look at you.

“No, we haven’t. What are you thinking?” He asked

“Maybe he has a family here and doesn’t want to leave them although the girlfriend or ex-wife doesn’t want him around and has moved on. Maybe he is killing for revenge.” You said with a shrug of your shoulders and they stared at you.

“We never thought about that. We’ll definitely have to look into it.” He said and then he saw the chief fire truck roll up and Kelly got out and you were quick to get out and run to him.

“I’m so sorry. I’m sorry that I ran away from school. I’ll never do it again. Please don’t hit me.” You said and pleaded and that broke Kelly’s heart.

“I’m not going to hit you. I just want to know why you ran away from school.” He said and kissed your head. You looked up at him from your hugging position and he looked down at you.

“I just got overwhelmed. I couldn’t take it anymore so I left.” You told him and he nodded. He looked up at Jay and Hailey and nodded and Jay flashed his police lights at you both and they were gone. 

“Come on. I wanna take you somewhere.” He said and you nodded sniffling. He led you to the truck and you got in and so did he and started to drive. You were confused.

“Where are we going?” You asked

“You’ll see.” He said and you nodded. 5 minutes later he was pulling into the cemetery and he drove around until he got to the spot where he wanted to be. You realized where you were, you were at your parent’s grave. He stopped the truck and put it into park and turned to you. 

“Kelly?” You asked with a watery voice and he smiled at you and nodded and you got out and went to them and he was soon following. 

“You can come and visit them anytime you would like. Just tell me and we’ll find a time to come.” He said and you started bawling and hugged him.

“Thank you so much. This means so much to me.” You said and he smiled and hugged you back and kissed your head. “Stay as long as you want.” He said and you nodded and then he walked back to the truck and got in leaving you alone and you turned towards the graves.

“Hi mom and dad. I miss you so much. It’s been tough not having you here but I think I found a really great foster home this time. You would really like him. He’s a firefighter and he loves kids. I really like him. He reminds me so much of you dad. I wanna call him dad but I don’t want to feel like I’m replacing you dad. I know it sounds silly.” You said you felt like someone was touching your cheek almost like telling you it’s ok, you shivered “I really hate to cut this short but I’m starting to get cold. I promised to come back and talk to you soon. I love you both.” You added and kissed the headstone. You turned back towards the truck and got in and Kelly turned to look at you.

“You, ok?” He asked and you smiled and nodded.

“Thank you. Nobody has done that for me before.” You said and he smiled.

“Like I said, anytime you want to come out here just tell me.” He said and you nodded “I also called the school and explained everything. You’re coming back to the firehouse with me.” He added and you nodded.

“I’m sorry for doing this to you.” You said and he smiled and ran his fingers through your hair.

“Just please don’t do it again. Next time, call me.” He said and you nodded your head.

“I will.” You said and he smiled.

“Good now let’s go.” He said and headed back towards the firehouse. 

Kelly was definitely different and you loved him for that. He didn’t try to push you into anything and he took time to listen to you. You didn’t want to leave him. Ever.

——————————————————————

A month has passed and you and Kelly have truly bonded unbeknownst to you he and Zoey have been talking about him adopting you. Everything was falling into place and he was really happy about it. He had several people back him that he would be a great father to you. He couldn’t wait to give you the news on your birthday as a birthday present. 

Y/B/D had finally rolled around and you were excited you had planned for your friends and their parents, Firehouse 51 and families, Intelligence and families including Will, Connor, Zoey, and few others were there. The party was going to be held at Kelly’s house. It was time for the party to start and everyone had shown up and the party was in full swing. There was chit chat around everywhere and everyone had brought presents for you. Everyone was wishing you a happy birthday and all the kids went and played together. 

As the night went on you were smiling and having a blast. Food was eaten and then it came time for cake and presents. Everyone sang Happy Birthday to you and you blushed embarrassed and then you blew out the candles. “What did you wish for?” Connor asked and you looked at him.

“If I tell you then it wouldn’t come true.” You said with a smirk and everyone laughed.

“You got me there.” He said and then you started to open presents and you got a lot and you loved every single one of them. You expressed this to everyone. Kelly had gotten you a lot. You looked at him and he looked nervous. 

“I have one last gift for you. Y/N when you came into my life a month ago, I knew you were the one I wanted to keep and call my daughter, you complete me. You have been such a great kid and love that about you. Sure, you have had your days but what teenager doesn’t?” He said and everyone laughed and you smiled. “Zoey and I have been in contact with each other over this past month and we finally got confirmation that everything is a go. So, Y/N if it is ok with you, I would like to adopt you and officially call you, my daughter.” He said and handed you an envelope that had the words ‘ADOPTION’. You opened it and pulled out the papers and tears sprung to your eyes and you looked at him and then Zoey and she nodded. “So, what do you say? Is it ok?” He asked, still looking nervous and everyone was waiting for you to answer, you put the papers down and then practically lunged at him and hugged him.

“1000% it is ok.” You said tears falling and soaking his shirt and he smiled and hugged you back and kissed your head. 

“I love you kiddo.” He said into your hair.

“I love you too, Dad.” You said and you could’ve sworn you felt tears falling into your hair and then everyone was clapping and hollering. You two broke apart and looked at everyone. 

“Here’s to the now Y/N Severide!” Herrmann announced and everyone took a drink and you laughed and snuggled into Kelly and he wrapped his arms around you tighter. This was officially the best day of your life. The night went on and you barely broke away from Kelly’s, now your dad, side. 

When everyone left you helped clean up and then you both headed off to bed. “I’ll come check on you in a few minutes.” He said and you nodded and headed upstairs and got ready for bed and laid down just as soon as Kelly came in. He sat down on your bed.

“I had a really great time tonight. Thank you so much, nobody has ever done something like this for me before or even taken me to see my parents. Yet alone give me the option to go and see them whenever I want.” You said and he smiled.

“Anything for my best girl.” He said and you smiled “Now you get a good night’s rest and we can do anything you want tomorrow.” He said and you nodded and he kissed your forehead. 

“Oh, so how is it going with Stella?” You asked with a smirk and he blushed.

“Good night, Baby Girl.” He said

“Hey, we’re not done talking about this.” You said with a smile and a chuckle and he shook his head.

“I love you.” He said and then started to head out of your room.

“I love you too, Dad.” You said and he turned to you and smiled then turned over and fell asleep with a smile on your face.

Kelly walked out and shut the light off and shut the door. He stood there for a minute and let a few tears slip. He definitely made the right choice and he couldn’t be happier and neither could you. You both had each other and you both completed each other. Zoey was definitely right; this one was different and you would have to text her thanking her for giving you that push.  Without her none of this would have happened. 

You found a home in his heart.

Tag list:

@kmc1989

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@atarmychick007

@nyx2021

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[purrplegyuu]

Barely adults | So Junghwan

Warnings: Poor plot, First time (not penetration), masturbation, only clitoris stimulation actually, both of them are virgins, no actually loss of virginity but kind of, gramatical/spelling mistakes (maybe, english is not my first language), let me know if I'm missing something else.

Pairing: Best friend!Junghwan x Best friend!fem reader.

Word count: 1,6k

Masterlist

hiiiiiiiiiii!, it's been already a month since I started staning Treasure, but this is my first work about one of them. I wrote it at one am (i use to sleep at 8 pm) so that's why there might be a lot of mistakes. I would really appreciate for you to tell me if you find any mistake or if you'd like me to change something.

Remember my ask box is still open (even if i haven't answered any ask yet, so sorry to thos 4 people looool), so feel free to request some words. I write for Txt (obviously), Treasure, Zerobaseone, Seventeen and enhypen (maybe, I'm not sure yet).

That's everything, enjoy and have a nice day!

Us. Both barely adults who don’t really know what are we doing. Or what are we going to do.

“Have you thought about your career?” I ask. Is a trending topic in both of our houses since we both decided to take a gap year right after we graduated from high school. 

Yeah, we are planning on attending college, however, we were both too tired after three large years of taking high school a little too seriously. My parents were so mad when I told them about my decision, and even threatened me to throw me out of home. They eventually forgot about it, but before that happened, we were in a neverending fight for three months. 

His situation had been a little bit different.

He never told me about it, but I noticed. Starting from the day he told his parents about his decision, when he showed up to my bedroom window on the second floor (I still don’t really know how he made it) and asked to sleep on the couch of my room. Secondly, the one time I went to his house to hang out a bit and heard his parents telling him horrible things about how disappointed they were. And finally, tonight, when he asked me to meet at his older brother’s apartment, just for me to find him on the big bed with a pair of big, red eyes. 

I’ve got to say I understand our parents. He was first place in class and I was second. Must have been hard for them. And I have to confess it–I feel guilty, I am guilty. I was the one who proposed it and convinced him. Guess I just didn’t thought about the consequences.

However, it’s been nine months since those events now, and it’s already time for us to choose what college career are we going to study now.

“Junghwan?” I called him since he hadn’t answered. 

He’s looking right straight to his brother's desk next to the bed.

The silence grows more awkward and he just doesn’t seem to care I’ve came in his brother’s apartment minutes ago. 

“Junghwan!” I almost scream, finally catching his attention. He looks at me for a while before asking “Hm?”

“You finally decided what to study?” We’ve been both too lost about it. 

He shakes his head no before falling silent once again. 

After a few seconds, his hand lifts up from the edge of the bedroom, and offers it to me. I take it, and soon he pushes me onto his lap.

“Wa!” I yell, impressed by his sudden strength over me.

We’ve never been like this before. We’ve never been this close before. Yet, I’ve always dreamt about it.

“Ju-junghwan, you’re too clumsy” I jokingly said, trying to act like I didn’t get what is he doing. I move on his lap trying to stand up, however, he takes both of my hands and forces me to move closer to him. 

“”I’m not” he looks right into my eyes while breathing on my face. His breath feels addictive like drugs, it is hard for me to breathe, and my lower lip trembles from the massive desire of kissing him.

And it looks like he’s feeling just like me, because it takes him just a few seconds to melt his lips into mine in a way I’ve never seen before, not even in the best porno.

His lips move away from mine. Our foreheads touch, our noses meet, and we both remain silent for a few seconds while we catch our breath. And then, he kisses me again. His hand lets mine go, and I hold myself on his shoulders while one of his hands take the back of my neck and the other one takes my thigh from under the light green dress I decided to wear (for him, but that’s supposed to be a secret).

Everything is so fast, so rude and so forced it scares me. It doesn’t feel romantic but desperate; it doesn’t feel fluffy but feverish.

I take his hand when I feel it reaching my underwear, and cut the kiss while trying to breathe again. He looks at me confused. His red swollen lips wanting nothing but to kiss me again, his hand on my neck taking me strongly, his cheeks flushed from the heat of the moment and his dark pupils waiting for me to say something.

“Junghwan,”I try to speak but I’m just too embarrassed to speak–because I’m red as an apple, because I’ve just kissed him and because… “Junghwan, I haven’t… had sex yet”

He laughs lowly, taking me again into his hands to kiss me one more time. “Don’t worry,” He says between kisses. “me neither”

His lips move to my cheek, leaving some wet kisses before moving to my ear, then to my neck and finally my clavicles. My hands squeeze his shoulders strongly while lifting my dress slowly, making my skin crawl.

He stops kissing me to look right into my eyes to find my agreement, which he happens to find fastly before taking my dress off of my body. My hand runs down his abdomen, looking for the hem of his black hoodie to try to lift it up. He helps me do it, lifting his arms so I can take it off, and once I’m done, he switches our positions, throwing me to the bed. 

He goes back to kiss my lips while his hands caresses my skin slowly, playing with my sanity by taking the hem of my panties and drawing the outline of it. His lips move to my ear, leaving a kiss in there before whispering “You look so pretty… all messy and small under me” and “Isn’t it funny? You’re the one who always leads me, and now I’m on top of you” before laughing.

I’m the extrovert one, I’m the noisy one. Whenever someone approaches both of us, it is because they’re trying to know about me. I’ve heard people telling he’s always been only a shadow always walking behind me. Yeah, I’m socially a dom, but he’s been secretly a sexual dom all this time.

I turn around to look at his eyes, silently begging for him to not tease me any second more, and that’s when I feel his hand move in my panties, touching my skin everytime closer to my cunt. And I thought he wasn't going to give everything I asked for so easily, however, his finger started circling my clitoris right after he reached it. He kept on kissing my right clavicle while his other hand moved to my back, looking for the clasp of my bralette. He undoes it and takes it off completely. 

I feel my stomach tensing up for the first time, making me whine loudly and arch my back. “Have you touched yourself before?” He asks. I nod slowly.

“Ye-yes, but never came” And never felt that good.

My stomach tenses a second time, making me whine even louder and higher. I take his arm as if wanting to slow down. 

“Why?” He asks, making my cheeks even hotter. 

“I-I’ve never-“ A moan escapes from my throat. “I’ve never been able to.” Every time I touched myself, I would just stimulate my clitoris for minutes until the feeling is so overwhelming I can’t deal with it and stop touching it. I even thought I was asexual. However, I’ve always wanted to touch myself again every night after seeing Junghwan’s abs.

His fingers speed up, making me scream his name loudly while pleading for him to slow down, however, we both know that's not what I want. I squeeze his arm harder, my hips move by themselves, my back arches, my lower abdomen is so tense I feel I’m about to explode. And then, an overwhelming feeling floods me up, making me moan while my voice breaks out because of the way he kept touching my clit even after I came. Finally, he slowed down until he stayed still while his hand rested in my panties. 

My eyes still closed, my chest rising and falling as I try to catch my breath. And once I think I’m right, I open my eyes, just to find him looking at me closely with the sweetest smile ever. 

everything around me is spinning, my head hurts a little, I feel the sweat on my forehead and everything not called 'Junghwan' feels so unnecessary.

He hugs me, leaving a kiss on my forehead before turning on the lamp on the nightstand and turning the room’s lights off. He knows me so well, he knows I’m still afraid of the dark.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for getting upset at my ex for being PDA with his boyfriend?

🌱🚌🍰<- To find later

Ages aren't super relevant here but everyone is in their mid-late 20s. About a year ago, my fiance of about 8 and a half years, Jake, broke up with me. It wasn't the smoothest breakup, I didn't take it well at the time, but I've since had a lot of time to think about it and I do understand (and agree with some of) his reasons for it. We're still on friendly terms and recently started casually chatting again 2 months ago after he said he needed a break for a while. I admit I do still love him and we had said at the time that we would want to get back together someday but that it would be a long time before we could consider that again and I wouldn't be upset with him if he changes his mind. There are a number of reasons why things weren't going well, I know I have a lot of body image issues and that had a lot of impact on our sex life, and there was also just a lot of baggage from old issues that built up over the course of the relationship. I've since been in therapy which I know was long overdue and working on a lot of the issues that contributed. Ultimately though, what ended up being the breaking point was issues we were having with polyamory.

I'm going to try and keep things as succinct as possible because the including all the details would make it way too long, but here's basically what happened: Jake and I agreed to be open about sleeping with other people, as long as we kept things out of our shared space. We weren't sure about dating others yet, but we said we'd talk about it if it came up. I know Jake felt jealous about me being with others while I worked on our own intimacy issues, but he told me that he knew that was unhealthy especially if we wanted to eventually be poly. A few months in, I heard from one of our friends, Emily, that a new friend of ours, Daniel, thought Jake was hot and might have a crush on him. I was shocked that Emily would tell me that because she knew Jake and I were together, and I told Jake to discuss what to do about it. He was kind of upset that I told him because he said he would've wanted to hear that from Daniel directly, I argued it was relevant but apologized anyway and dropped it. Over the next few months, Jake and Daniel started texting a lot and Jake started developing feelings for him. When Daniel confessed during a movie night, Jake said he felt the same but that he'd have to talk to me about it first. Jake told me he wanted to go for it, which was surprising because he had said literally the day before that he wasn't sure, but we decided to try poly with some ground rules. Ultimately the issue came down to the "shared space" rule we were already following. I considered making out as sexual, but Jake disagreed and told me that was too controlling if we were allowed to have dates at the apartment. This led to a fight, and when I went to the other room to calm down, I realized that if I couldn't handle seeing Jake with someone else so close to me, I couldn't do poly, so I went back out to tell him. He asked why we couldn't keep talking about it, I said I couldn't change how I felt, and he got upset that I wasn't willing to have a conversation about it now that he had feelings for someone else, so I asked him what he'd want to talk about and he said not to bother because it was obvious I had already made up my mind. The next day he told me we should take a break, and we broke up a week later. I want to make it very clear that I don't blame Daniel for any of this and I don't think anyone was "cheating". As far as I'm aware, Jake and Daniel started dating about 4-5 months after we broke up. I'm not going to lie and say that seeing Jake so happy with someone else doesn't hurt, but I know that's immature of me and I'm working on getting over it.

About a week ago, Jake invited me to go to a bar with a bunch of our old friends. It was a lot of fun and I had really missed hanging with everyone in a group. At some point during the night though, I noticed Daniel being kind of handsy with Jake. I brushed it off because everyone was drunk, but as time went on it became less and less subtle, and I started getting a little uncomfortable. I noticed that one of our more reserved friends, Jason, was also looking a bit flustered. At one point Daniel pulled Jake away from the table to go off somewhere, and everyone just kind of laughed awkwardly before continuing conversation. I know that Jake didn't like PDA before but it's possible that changed, idk.

At the end of the night when people were saying goodbyes and starting to head home, I pulled Jake aside to thank him for inviting me and saying it was a lot of fun and great to see everyone again, but that I noticed people were kind of uncomfortable with Daniel's PDA and suggested that he tone it down a little in the future, especially around Jason. Jake didn't say anything at the time but his smile dropped a little bit and he said he'd talk to Daniel about it.

The next day, I woke up to messages from both Jake and Jason telling me I was out of line and that nobody but me had any issues with their PDA. I even mentioned Jason looking uncomfortable and he said that it was because he had had a crush on Jake for a while now, but that it would be unreasonable for him to ask Jake and Daniel to change their behavior around their friends (which I completely disagree with when it comes to PDA and being inappropriate in public). Jake told me that if I was going to bring our breakup back into the group dynamic it would be better if I didn't come in the future. I asked a few of our other friends and one said that it could be too much sometimes but only when everyone was really drunk, one said that if it did go too far they'd say something, but that it never had, and the last one told me that I was being rude and was clearly just not over Jake.

I don't think I'm an asshole for being uncomfortable with PDA and even if nobody else agrees with me (and at least a couple do), I didn't go about telling them in a rude way at all, but most of the group is saying I was overstepping and to get over myself. AITA here?

[sciderman]

im so happy for you that you have a possible reason/cause for your brain itch!!!! i hope the tumor removal goes superduper smoothly. Do they know how long its been present/growing???????? how did you find out??? <- you obviously do not have to answer these personal medical questions lmao im just!!!! so curious and excited for you.

from what i've discussed with the docs it's been there for a LONG time... they say this sort of thing might take up to a decade to develop - it doesn't happen overnight!

i think i started noticing symptoms about maybe... 7 years ago? literally as soon as i started working full-time, maybe. my first job stressed me out so much and i cried underneath the tables at 8pm because i couldn't leave the office, i still had so much to do. i was leading up an entire ass animation department at 20 years old. bad. awful. that's when i started depending on things to get me through the day. my body started feeling awful. i thought it was anxiety, or me just being weak, i guess. i don't know if stress created the tumor, or the tumor created the stress - (well, it's the latter now) i think it's probably both, but all the research i've done and what the doctors have said is that there's just - some people with a genetic predisposition for it.

it's funny - i never miss a deadline, and i'm really really good at my job, always. i never let anyone down, ever, at the cost of my own sanity, and i seem to always, always have it put-together when i'm dealing with people - i have the constant consensus from everybody around me that i'm the most cheerful person to work with on this here planet earth - but apparently, my body was falling apart underneath it all - which i failed to recognise, because outwardly i was holding it together so well, and figured it was just normal to cry all the time when nobody was looking.

i started really noticing it after taking on a lot of freelance work on top of my day job – i was really doing very hot, and did these amazing projects for some really amazing clients who sought me out for being amazing (i am amazing) - but naturally, had consecutive nights of no sleep, and quick deadlines - and INVOICING... screams. and just, realised - after taking those jobs that - my heart did not stop pumping afterwards. my heart was still racing a mile a minute, even after all those jobs were done and dusted and ever-so-loved and appreciated by very happy clients. my heart. wouldn't. stop.

i figured it was MAJOR anxiety, and sought out some counselling sessions, hoping they'd help. i relayed my woes. i said i'm worried i'm not resting enough. i'm not sleeping enough. my heart rate won't go down. they said "oh. not everybody needs 8 hours sleep, don't worry about it. everyone's different." - for some reason that reassured me. i thought it was okay. okay. i don't need rest. maybe my body's just different and doesn't need rest. maybe that's why i wake up at 6am every morning without fail. i just don't need sleep, i guess. (bad advice.)

so – everyone is telling me i'm okay. i should just get on. you're barely sleeping? that's fine, you probably don't need it. your heart is pumping? that's healthy. your heart SHOULD pump, idiot. get back to work.

i felt very unhappy at work - i felt like i was stagnating - so i moved job, last year. i moved job to one that was so, so much more fast-paced. i thought the excitement and change would do me good - but i've been facing maybe - 3 deadlines a day? vs my previous one-deadline-a-month arrangement. and i think it broke me. i needed to depend on so many unhealthy habits to get me through the day. i needed like 6 energy drinks, 3 coffees, i'd have the shakes, i'd have the jitters, i'd feel like i was going to fall apart every single day.

and then, one day, i did.

one week last year i doubled over - my body was in so much pain that i couldn't sleep, i couldn't eat, and worst off - i couldn't work. it was the first time i'd taken sick leave - i couldn't function. after being on antibiotics that didn't work, i eventually went into the emergency room because i just couldn't sleep. i couldn't do anything. i didn't care if they put me down, i wanted the pain to end.

she was a kidney stone. her name was sharon (sharon stone) - i suspect it was all the energy drinks that made her. i've dealt with her now. but during the process, the doc pulled me aside, and he said "dear. do you have any pain in your other kidney?"

i said... no............... why?

doc said "ah. problem for another time."

so, once sharon was dealt with, obviously i had to chase up on that doctor's ominous warning. i said "WHAT'S WRONG WITH MY OTHER KIDNEY!!"

you have a tumor, dear. his name is lamar. he's on your right adrenal gland, and we suspect he's messing up all your hormones.

i did my own research, and turns out all these crazy, mysterious symptoms i've been having all line up - so i chased, and chased, and chased.

the doctors didn't take me seriously at first. because i guess i'm not in pain, and i handle it so well. i'm still so strong. i'm a fighter, i guess. whatever. but, turns out...

it's worth it to chase. your life might depend on it. i'm so glad i did, because there's an end to my suffering (dear god, i hope) - but, guys, if your heart won't slow, and you chronically can't relax, and you feel like there are bees in your brain - that's the time to do some research. it isn't normal, actually. and sure - it might not be a tumor, but - kid, you need some support. you need some help. you need to ask some questions. it's not okay for that to be your baseline. your body needs to rest. it needs to rest. even if i have to force it to. it has to rest.

right now i'm in a major stressed way, and i broke down and cried. i'm in the middle of a freelance job, and in the middle of an interviewing process for a new full-time job, and still working my current full-time job with 3 deadlines a day, and my surgery is next week. and i feel like crying. all the time.

i can't wait for rest. i hate that i literally have to be hospitalised to get it. but, i'll get it. i'm going to rest so fucking hard.

[sunnyie-eve]

27 | The Flow

Series: Never Leave You | OBX

Paring:(JJ Maybank x OFC! Rafe Cameron x OFC!)

Word Count: 2.2k

Warnings: JJ being an ass, Soft Rafe

MASTERLIST

Like Callie said she met up with the others after being home for a bit and they catch her up on how screwed they really are. "How the hell are we gonna get that type of money?" Callie messes with her nails as she leans against the railing.

"Why are you here anyways?" JJ speaks up messing with a knife sitting alone.

"Excuse me?" She looks at him, "I'm part of this group still. Sorry I went off for a while to get a break from everything."

"She's still part of the group, dude." John B tells him.

"Who's friends with Rafe still after everything. What was it only 18 months ago you two were hooking up. Staying on figure 8 with him just to get over me."JJ chuckles so Callie walks over slapping him across the face.

"I had nowhere else to go! Remember that? So fuck you. And you're really pushing it to where I don't even want to be friends with you anymore." She leaves the group going home.

"At least see if you can get money out of the psychopath!" He shouts as she gets in her car. Everyone looks over at JJ wondering why the hell he was acting that way, "What? I'm right. It's fucking Rafe." He looks at everyone.

"Don't you think you're pushing it?" Kiara sighs so JJ laughs more.

"Don't say anything you might regret." Pope points his finger at JJ so JJ gets up to go on a walk alone while everyone sighs.

Sarah shakes her head watching JJ in the distance, "Trust me, I get what he means when it comes to my brother but he's out of line with Callie. What the hell happened to him?" She looks at everyone.

John B and Pope can't help but glance over to Kiara, "Seriously?" She glares at them.

"Well, if I remember correctly. You did develop feelings for JJ when they were together and y'all almost kissed and didn't tell her about it. So I was the good friend who told her. And now you and JJ are a couple because Callie didn't get back with him." Pope can't help but tell the truth.

"We aren't together just because she didn't take him back." Kiara crosses her arms and the others avoid eye contact with her, "That's what you guys believe?! I'm not being used for him to get over her."

"Kie, we didn't say that last part. You did." John B gives her a look, "It obvious JJ has feeling for you too. That's why everything happened in the first place."

As everyone slowly splits apart do their own thing for the day, Callie was arriving home and sees Sofia waiting on her porch. "Hey, hey!" She stands up once Callie gets out of her car. "Rafe, may have told me your address. I thought we could hangout? I don't really have people to hang out with besides from Rafe. I don't really care for the other Kooks."

"I'm with you on that last half." Callie laughs, "We can hangout here. I don't mind. My room is still a slight mess though because I was redoing it." Callie lets her know.

"I don't mind. I'll even help you out with your room." Sofia smiles, "Nice house by the way. The best on the Cut." She follows Callie inside.

"My dad is a Kook and he built this. Have no idea where he is now. Rafe might know. It's just me and my aunt Tess that live here. Aunt Tess!" Callie shouts to find her.

"Cleaning the bathroom!"

"There's someone I want you to meet!" They shout back and forth till Tess joins them. "This is Sofia. She works at the country club and is also friends with Rafe."

"Rafe is friends with another Pogue?" Tess was shocked. She didn't count Barry as one because the two weren't exactly friend friends. "Callie, you really did rewire some of his brain."

"Yep. But we'll be in my room." Callie leads the way.

"Nice meeting you Sofia!"

The two girls got to really know each other while finishing up the room and they were surprised at how well Rafe said they would get along. Just a few hours seemed like years of friendship.

At the same time as things look bleak for the group, they soon received attention for their El Dorado discovery and were hailed as heroes.

"An expedition of one man, John Routledge, and a group of teenagers, who are with us today. Locals, who grew up here and who succeeded where centuries of conquistadors, explorers, and admirals failed. Today, we come together to celebrate these teens, friends from both sides of the island who came together to solve this five-year-old mystery. Let's hear it for them!"

The crowd applauds and cheers for the group as they sit there then stand up give the crowd a smile.

"Okay, I need a reset. I need a reset right now. This is a lot. It's time to celebrate." JJ says as the group go stand together away from everyone.

"I'll take one hit. One." Pope tells him, "One."

"Bad man now." Cleo looks at him.

"Big John would've thought this was all bullshit." Sarah laughs.

"Excuse me. I... I don't mean to interrupt." A man walks over to them.

"Uh, can we help you?"

"Yes. I wanted to tell you all it's remarkable what you all did. Royal Merchant, El Dorado, Denmark Tanny. Impressive résumé, impressive. I was wondering if you would all be so kind as to look at an item of mine." The man passes over a book and Pope takes it.

"Oh yeah? What type of item is that?"

It's a manuscript. I would investigate it myself, but I'm too long in the tooth. I need partners, and you all were first on my list.

"This is a captain's log." John B looks at the man.

"Who is the captain?" JJ asks.

"Edward Teach. Blackbeard." And that all lead the group to an invitation to Wes Genrette's old estate to discuss Blackbeard.

On the way to goat island, they talk about the past and all the rumors about the people from there. "Okay, why are we doing this again?" Cleo asks the group.

"Because we need money." Pope, Sarah, and Callie tell her at the same time.

Once they dock at the island they are lead up to the house and they meet the son in law of Wes, Chandler Groff, who lets them in the house.

The group was uneasy, especially when Wes arrives and tells them a bizarre story about Blackbeard and Elizabeth, claiming a ghost had visited him. Wes explains that the group needs to retrieve an amulet from Blackbeard's last ship, the Adventure, to lift a 300-year-old family curse. That the amulet is hidden off Goat Island, and Wes offers them $50,000 with $5,000 upfront to recover it.

While they discuss if they should take the deal or not JJ decides for the whole group telling Wes they'll do it, "Now, that initial 5k, is that that right there?" JJ walks over to Groff, who hands over the money.

"Hey, you know what? Actually, I think I'll take this for safekeeping." Pop takes the money from JJ.

"You won't regret this, sir. I promise you. We'll get the job done." JJ shakes Geoff's hand.

As the group leaves the island, Sofia texts Callie to invite her to the party she was at with Rafe. Callie tells her she'll show up in a bit when they get back to the island.

When they do get back, Callie goes home to change into something nice before heading to the party. She honestly didn't want to be at a Kook party but she wanted to see Sofia. And plus Rafe wouldn't let anyone give her shit.

"I don't remember you being inviting to the party." Ruthie sees Callie walk through the doors stopping her.

"Oh, but I was." Callie gives her a smile.

"Are you giving me an attitude, bitch?" Ruthie asks as Sofia spots Callie so she tells Rafe to look who showed up.

Rafe smiles walking over to the two, "What a surprise!" He hugs her so Ruthie walks away. "How did you know about Toppers party?"

"Sofia invited me." She tells him so he looks over at Sofia, who gives him a smile as well. "I feel like I need a friend that's not any of the others, you know?" She means the six.

Rafe nods his head, "I get it. Let me know if anyone gives you shit." He leaves her so she goes over to Sofia.

"You didn't tell Rafe I was coming?" Callie laughs joining her side.

"I may have forgotten to tell him." Sofia plays with her drink then sees how Callie was looking at her, "What? I can't surprise him with you?"

"What's going on?" Callie asks confused, "I thought you had a thing for Rafe? That's what I was picking up when we first met. Now you are surprising him with me?"

Sofia grabs Callie's hand to bring her closer to her, "You weren't wrong. I did have a thing for him but I know he still has feelings for you and it's the same for you. I care about Rafe and I want to be his friend."

"Sofia, Rafe knows I want to focus on myself." Callie tells her.

"I get that. I do, but just see what happens without forcing yourself not to. Listen, I know it's not my business but Rafe was ranting to me and then hearing what you said that day... If JJ is doing well with Kie...why can't you try with Rafe? Just think about it." Sofia tells her before excusing herself to go use the bathroom.

Callie looks over at Rafe getting more to drink before looking away downing her drink. She hated how Sofia had a tiny point. Maybe she should just see what happens without telling herself no.

"Fuck it." Callie walks over to where was talking with a woman.

"Oh hi." The lady smiles, "Who's this?" She asks Rafe.

"This is Callie." Rafe moves her closer to him, "Callie this is Miss Hollis." He introduces them.

"The biggest Realtor on the island." Callie knows of her, "I believe you helped my dad a long time ago."

Hollis tilts her head not knowing, "William Warner, is her father." Rafe tells Hollis.

"Oh yes!" Hollis remembers him, "He was great before he went a little...you know."

"Yeah." Callie nods her head.

"Well it was nice meeting you. And take care Rafe." Hollis leaves the two.

"What did she want with you?" Callie asks him.

"You jealous?" He jokes with her.

"Yeah, what did she offer you?" She laughs shaking her head at him.

"It depends... What do you think? After all she's a cougar too." He pokes at her.

"You are so stupid." She swats his hand away, "I'm gonna go find Sofia." She tries to walk off but he wraps his arms around her playfully.

"No, I haven't seen you in months. You can spend time with me."

"Hey, I'm here aren't I?" She turns around looking up at him, "At a Kook party... Topper's party at that. The guys already hate that I get along with you, and they would hate it even more if they knew I'm with people who hate us."

"You just get along with me? What happened to being your friend?" He laughs as she just looks at him before smiling.

"You just wanna be my friend?" She asks him and he looks at her getting a little confused.

"Huh?"

Callie giggles, "Let's just see what happens." She sees Sofia watching them so he gets out of Rafe's arms, "I'm gonna go hangout with your wingman." As Callie joins Sofia's side, she couldn't help but smile, "Why are you smiling?" Callie asks her.

"Nothing."

"Nothing my ass." Callie laughs.

"So are you taking my advice?" Sofia hands Callie a drink.

"I'm just going with the flow and we'll see what happens." Callie tells her before taking a sip of her drink.

"Hopefully there's no stop signs or yield signs." Sofia makes Callie laugh.

Rafe looks over at the two giggling and talking. He couldn't believe two people he's hooked up with were getting along so well. He couldn't even believe Sofia was actually helping him out with Callie.

After a few more hours of chatting with Sofia and Rafe at times, Callie decided to head on home. Sofia gives her a hug and hopes they can hangout alone again soon. Rafe gives her a hug as well and tells her thanks for swinging by Topper's party.

"Where were you to be dressed up?" Tess laughs as Callie comes in through the front door.

"Sofia, invited me to Topper's party to hangout with her and Rafe."

"And how was that?" Tess pays close attention to her.

"Alright. Sofia is still nice to hangout with." Callie heads to the kitchen to get a drink.

"And Rafe?" Tess asks following her into the kitchen.

"What about Rafe?"

"Anything change or still just friends?" Tess chuckles a bit.

"I'm going with the flow. I thought I should take Sofia's advice. I mean, JJ and Kie are working out so..."

"Why not try with Rafe." Tess finishes the sentence so Callie nods her head.

[sezez]

Throughout Poppy Playtime, the Protagonist is quite the mysterious character. But in Chapter 3, we get a bit more info on them. I find the Protagonist very interesting and I hope that MOB Games might give us a clear answer on them. (And I may sound stupid for saying this over and over, but I really want the Protagonist to have a voice so we can hear what they're thinking about all of this)

The Protagonist is employee who happens to look like a specific scientist/employee familiar to the toys:

It's by this point that the Protagonist might be a scientist or someone who knew about the experiments and came back to find the employees, but is now gonna help Poppy to redeem themselves.

But, I personally believe that the Protagonist was a normal employee, they didn't know about the experiments and only came back to search for the missing employees.

But you may say: "But the toys recognize the Protagonist." Or "There are clear signs that the Protagonist knew about the experiments."

To which I know and agree with. But if the Protagonist did knew about it all, then why bother to come back if they knew what the toys were capable of?

Anyone who knew that Huggy is alive is about to get the hell out of the factory the moment he disappeared. And yet the Protagonist didn't. (But maybe it's also because the door leading to the entrance closed itself, I keep noticing that while everyone else doesn't.)

Anyway, I also think that the Protagonist might look familiar to the experiments. Like the Protagonist's hairstyle is similar to a scientist, or their face looks like higher rank employee or perhaps is the way they're dressed. Just something about them looks familiar to every toy.

The toys are (un)welcoming the Protagonist back after leaving them:

During the nightmare, the Protagonist runs into a radio on the floor and it's saying something in reverse. This is what it said:

"8-8-1995. I find your presence intrusive. After all this time you've return, you come in here and yet you kill and murder. You pillage and destroy. Your presence was demanded 10 years ago and yet you didn't show up... 8-8-1995. You were suppose to be here, why weren't you here? You missed the event, you missed the meeting, you missed the party. You have no right to be here... 8-8-1995."

I believe this is Exp. 1006 talking to the Protagonist, he's mad that they weren't at the factory during The Hour of Joy on August 8, 1995 and got killed. And now the Protagonist is back and they're killing he's subordinates, ruining and interfering his plan.

And 1006 doesn't seem to be the only one who's mad, the other toys too. For example, Mommy Long Legs, she seems to hold a grudge against all employees of Playtime Co. and wants them to die.

Is the Protagonist really gonna help Poppy:

This has been on my mind for a bit, because I wonder if the Protagonist is gonna help Poppy just like that?

Poppy lied to the Protagonist about letting them escape and then the train crashed, hurting the Protagonist and getting dragged by Catnap to a crasher that could have killed them. And when the Protagonist and Poppy do reunite, she just left them on their own while she and Kissy Missy were above on the elevator, even though she literally said she was there to help.

And it's suspicious that the next destination Poppy leads the Protagonist to is deep below, where possible all of the dead bodies of the employees are.

Why would she lead the Protagonist there?

If the Protagonist is a employee who had zero idea about the experiments, then it's quite understandable for them to be angry at Poppy and not wanting to do any of this any longer because they just wanted to know what and where the other employees are, and the Protagonist got the answer, they're all dead. That's it, it's time for them to leave and never, ever come back.

If the Protagonist was a scientist who was involve in the experiments, then perhaps they're doing it because they feel guilty and want to redeem themselves. But if the Protagonist is actually evil, then they're just helping Poppy to cover up everything and possibly betraying Poppy in the process.

[nephilimeq]

Hey, I was just wondering what age you thought Derek was in season one? Cause it’s a heavily debated and unknown piece of information. Me personally I always thought he was 19 in the pilot, and this was before I had read anything about the writers wanting him to be that age in the pilot. It was just the way he acted, to me, it doesn’t seem like a mid-20s man. Also stiles says the fire happened “ like ten years ago” but then a few episodes later Peter says he’s been in a coma for 6 years. So I was just curious what you thought. Also stiles saying that is always made out to be taken as it literally happened exactly ten years ago, and people always bring it up but they never talk about how long Peter said it had been.

Sorry if this is long I just enjoy your blog and your thoughts. I wanted to share mine while also hearing it from your perspective. Hope you have a wonderful day, you deserve it!

This is a very tricky subject to handle, because the writers made mistakes in their own timeline so they switched things around.

But in the very first episode Stiles says that Derek is only a few years older than them. I always figured that Derek was around 19 in Season 1, while Stiles was 16.

The reason why they messed everything up so horribly is because they hadn't actually created a timeline for all the events when they started writing, and to me, it made the show feel like a fan fiction writer who was just making it up as they went and then all the reviewers were saying, "Hey, you have a few continuity errors," and instead of trying to make it work, they just made something up and didn't really try to go back and adjust anything.

There's a scene that happens when Stiles is asking Peter and Cora about Derek's past (Season 3, Episode 8 "Visionary"), and he is trying to find out how old they are, and this train wreck section of dialogue occurs:

Stiles: Okay, if Derek was a sophomore back then, how old was he? How old were you? ...How old are you now? Peter: Not as young as we could have been, but not as old as you might think. Stiles: Okay, that was frustratingly vague. How old are you? Cora: I'm seventeen. Stiles: See, that's an answer. That's how we answer people. Cora: Well, seventeen how you'd measure in years. Stiles: Alright, I'm just gonna drop it.

This dialogue made me so pissy when I heard it the first time because I knew that this was the writers' response to the viewers and fans. The fans are Stiles in this conversation, and the writers are Peter and Cora being purposely "frustratingly vague" in the hopes that we'll just "drop it", which a lot of us did because they wouldn't give us any straight answers.

They messed up and they know it.

In my head canon -- because it makes the most sense to me -- Derek is three years older than them. Canonically, Derek is actually only ten days older than me, as seen in this enhanced screencap right here (from Season 1, Episode 11, where Kate has him kidnapped and held up in chains):

So according to this he would have been around 22, about to turn 23 in the first season...but here's something to take into consideration. This driver's license isn't for California -- it's for New York. I have a theory that he got a professional fake I.D. so that he could do more jobs (such as bartending) while he was out of state.

Now, when Stiles mentions the fire was "like, ten years ago," I genuinely think that he was just generalizing. Derek was sixteen when Kate took advantage of him raped him, which means that the fire happened when Stiles was around twelve/thirteen (as he has a canonically April 8th birthday, so it all depends on the months).

Regarding anything Peter might have said...please remember that it has been firmly established in the show that Peter is an unreliable narrator. Stiles openly admits that to Cora in the previously mentioned Season 3, Episode 8, "Visionary".

A lot of these issues are because of the lack of consistency from the writers.

I think the biggest problem was when they cast a younger Peter and totally threw the timelines off, trying to make him only a few years older than Derek -- which he wasn't. Peter is Derek's uncle, for crying out loud! The man would have been in his late twenties, early thirties when Derek was a teen, barely looking any different than he does in the show...and yet the writers and producers thought that making him look almost like a teenager was the right call.

I do think it was a last ditch attempt to try and make Derek waaay older than Stiles because they didn't like the shipping -- but they had already established too much of their timeline at that point and simply messed up and didn't have the guts to admit it.

Simply put, I genuinely think Derek was nineteen and turned twenty during season one.

Hope that answers your questions, anon!

[dairy-farmer]

SPEAKING of my Andriods Nightgaurd ficlet? And my ongoing campaign of Sexy Civilian!Tim encounters?

:Dc

Night Gaurd Tim? owo? Jason doesn't die. But Tim's dad still does. New Dad is rich but An Asshole. So Tim studies like mad to get outta there. Lands a shotty apartment in HIS name. And a job!

That the Riddler destroys.

Okay... second try... SECOND job! Two-face. MOTHER FU-!

It keeps happening. He starts taking potshots at goons. He WANTS HIS PAYCHECK, damn it. He's tired of cheap ramen!

One of his Dad's old buddies see's him on a viral clip. He... *awkward cough* maaaay have swung a bat at Condiment King. To be FAIR... the shot super staining GOO all over the fashion line Tim JUST unboxed. He may have snapped a little.

But! It lands him a job!

Night Gaurd~ *jazz hands*

It's not like he sleeps at night anyway! Might as well get payed! He gaurds the satellite building used for staff overflow. It's only really in USE during certain seasons. But the don't want squatters or stolen company secrets.

O7 got it.

What he DOESN'T realize? That building has an EXCELLENT vantage point line of sight from certain parts of the roof. It's been part of the Bat's intersecting patrol paths for YEARS.

He doesn't notice them, at first. But they notice him. He's the cutie in uniform. Background check reveals some memes and that he used to be their neighbor etc.

Now, this can go one of two ways~ "Ivy assisted Fuck Seduction" or "I swear to GOD I WILL TRESPASS YOU-" It? Depends on if you want Timmers to notice! That waaait a second *squint*

Why does the roof... look EXACTLY the same as it did 8 days ago. Because he has freakishly good memory. Leading to him realizing the cameras? Hacked. There are 17 randomly played "night footage" banks. Son of a- *keeps open roof access to find the Bat's mid patrol Bat Burgering" YOU. #TheyCanExplain?

Or! Ivy, miffed that Bats made her MISS her girlfriends BIRTHDAY, decides? Fuck you in particular, actually. And hits him with a Pollen bomb.

He was standing RIGHT in front of the intake vent for the air conditioning. The whole BUILDING gets dusted. Not as concentrated, since it's spread out. But still exposer. Tim? Starts feeling off. Fever maybe? Weirdly horny. Really distracted, actually...

The Bat's? Drive Ivy off. Okay, who was hit? Everyone gets their antidote. We good? Let's head hooo-OMG! THE GAURD! FUCK.

And yep. Too late for an antidote too be effective. But don't worry Really Hot security Gaurd! They will- stop shoving! No you will not! I will-! No you have-! I said I WILL *Sibling jostling for the right to Help Tim*

Batman, NOT allowing himself to be distracted by gorgeous legs or the TIGHTEST little- Regardless, NOT letting himself getting distracted. Lends quite literally a hand. Gotta get that consent. For medical assistance. Because Bruce TOTALLY hasn't been fantasizing about taking this boy apart. Rocking his world then buying him breakfast.

He's just here to lend a dick in these trying times. Hero's duty and all.

And once Tim? Bat Fan and Bi Disaster realizes he has fucked the Bat's and they seemed REALLY into it? :Y he uuuh *cough* I mean, he's just SAYING... no one said you had to STOP... options THERE...

Now? They REALLY like that building. Great rest stop. Grab a bite to eat, drink something, fuck the night gaurd, take a nap, you name it!

Tim REALLY likes his new job. He's great at it.

-🐼🐼🐼

tim being the shared fucktoy among the bats❤️

[carigm]

Today Millie had a fan panel in which she answered that her ideal ending would be Mike and El getting married and Will being happy and confessing to Mike (lol) and ofc the Stranger Things fandom kicked up the old Byler vs Mlvn war once again, regardless of the fact she doesn’t write the show. But I want to break down some points here about things I’ve been noticing today, but also for a while and that I think need to be discussed. Keep reading if you want.

I’ve seen a lot of hostility towards Byler and Bylers on Twitter lately, saying we’re delusional and don’t know what we’re talking about. This always seems to be the go to argument even tho it’s all in the narrative. Today it got really bad after Millie’s comments and even people that were merely disagreeing with her opinions got called everything from delusional to misogynistic.

IF the Duffers suddenly decided to ignore everything they’ve carefully crafted and put into their narrative that doesn’t make anyone delusional, it just makes them terrible writers. Who would be doing a great disservice to all three characters involved in the love triangle.

There’s been an insurgence (on Twitter) of so called “Will stans” who seem to be completely fine with the idea of mlvn being endgame because “Will can just get another boyfriend” Not only is this insulting to what the writers have already established for Will’s character but it’s also a defense and endorsement of the worst kind of lazy/bad writing that could graze our screens.

The Duffers CHOSE to tie Will’s character arc to Mike’s and El’s.

How do you expect them to undo that and create a well fleshed out character that’s deserving of Will, in 8 episodes that we know are not just gonna be dedicated to Will’s supposed love interest, because there’s a shit ton of stuff to resolve?

If this was the route the Duffers were going for, they could’ve clearly given Will a love interest last season (like with Robin) or two seasons ago (like with Dustin) And yet somehow, people think it would be totally okay for Will to get the most meaningless romance of all time as the writers ignore the same story they’ve created.

Another point I’ve been seeing a lot from these people is “Mike won’t come out. Let it go. He’s just a very unlikable character” What does that say about the quality of the writing and content you’re willing to consume then? You’re okay with characters being poorly written? And please someone explain to me how Mike’s actions, especially in S4, make any sense unless he likes Will.

The more people try to simplify this story the more plot holes and inconsistencies it creates.

The funny thing is that a lot of these “Will stans” used to be Bylers themselves but are so deathly afraid it won’t be endgame that they’ve started to use the same rhetoric mlvns use every day to justify what would be atrocious writing.

And this next thing might be controversial but I think it needs to be said.

So many people on Twitter have hit those who disagree with Millie’s opinion today with “y’all are misinterpreting Millie’s words” and let me tell you, no one has. She’s been saying the same stuff for forever and quite frankly she’s never had a coherent thought about Will. Which is fine, at the end of the day that’s not the character she plays. However, I haven’t forgotten how last year (at another panel) she was asked about Byler and said it was just a reflection of Finn and Noah’s friendship and that was what people were seeing…

Whatever the fuck that means, I guess.

Again, I’m not taking her answer today too seriously cause truth be told she’s been saying some version of this since she was around twelve, and has even at times said she was joking about it. If a wedding were actually happening she wouldn’t be able to say it cause I’d literally be a spoiler, even if she doesn’t have the scripts yet or doesn’t know I’m sure there’s things that would be off limits for any actor to say at this point.

But this defense squad that formed today begging for us to not misconstrue her words because “she really cares about Will’s character” is laughable.

Her answers regarding the topic of the love triangle have been anything but nuanced. If she doesn’t want to get into it or address it, that’s fine. It’s her choice.

But of course, mlvn stans are gonna take her answers seriously, as well as those who are now “Will stans” who basically ship mlvn too.

And to me there’s a fundamental flaw regarding the ship wars in this fandom, which these people don’t seem to grasp. At this point, it isn’t so much about “which ship is better” but “which outcome isn’t violently homophobic”

That’s it.

I don’t care how much you ship mlvn, this is the undisputed truth here.

But when your lead actors act like it’s not a big deal, it’s no surprise the fandom doesn’t give a shit.

I can only hope the Duffers were smart enough to see reason and were able to write the only outcome that won’t set television back around 10 years or so.

And hopefully one day, when S5 is out, we can get a more in depth and honest conversation with the actors about all of this.

As for me, I’m gonna lay low and not give much of a fuck until we start getting those Reddit leaks, which were very much accurate for last season. I’ll take a peak at those, and depending on what they look like, I’ll stay around or dip completely.

If you read all of this, thank you.

[thisonesatellite]

Tagged by the always wonderful @fsbc-librarian -- thank you so much, darling! 💖💖💖

1. how many works do you have on ao3?

42 works

2. what’s your total ao3 word count?

677,643 (how do i have so many?)

3. what fandoms do you write for?

MCU/Stucky -- this is my main focus and current sandbox. i love to play with these two. OUAT/CS -- that is where i started my fic writing journey and it still makes up the bulk of my works. i no longer write it, but it will always have a soft spot in my heart. Dramione -- i wrote one dramione fic a while back, and it is a ship dynamic i really enjoy. i still have one big, rather epic fic idea for it, too. Since this idea -- (and @mysteriouscatstellation) -- have been bugging me about it for over a year, i absolutely have to write it. Eventually. Obvi. (Actually, it's up next after i finish my East German Stucky Spy Lunacy, shhhhhhhhh.) Leverage -- i also have one Leverage fic. i have literally no idea how that happened. None. This fic basically walked out onto the page and said, my turn. 😂 It did give me a really good opportunity to create an original character though.

4. do you respond to comments? why or why not?

Always. ALWAYS. i love and appreciate each one, from a row of emojis to a page of analysis. i go back often and re-read them, just to motivate myself. People who leave comments are the real heroes. (Although i do understand that not everyone has the spoons to comment, and that's OK, too. Just know that if you leave me a single emoji i will love it no less than if you write a dissertation. 💖💖💖)

5. have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that i know of. But i haven't checked either.

6. have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes -- The Sword and The Heart, an epic rewrite of OUAT S5 i tackled with the amazing @ohmightydevviepuu. If you have never collaborated with another writer, i strongly urge you to try it. i learned things about myself and my writing that i am still benefiting from to this day and i am immensely proud of what we created together. However, that is pretty much due to dev being the best collaborator ever. (Get yourself someone you trust and love and yet challenges you at every turn, is what i'm saying.)

7. what’s your all-time favourite ship?

That's a hard question, because affinity does change -- and why wouldn't it. We change, become different people, and sometimes the things we used to bleed for no longer resonate quite as hard. Like - my OG ship was Buffy /Angel, and i have the absolute soft spot of all time for them, but also i'm (obviously) no longer in high school and so the urgency has subsided. There have been a few other ships i've sideswiped over the years, characters i absolutely loved but never quite got 'ship-invested' in. (Shipvested? 😂) Personally, one factor is definitely that i did not know what a fandom was, or even that there was 'fandom' (as a concept, a community, a Thing) until Captain Swan tore a hole in my heart five years ago. i didn't really know what fanfic was. Or AO3. Apparently i live under a rock. But currently, the tl;dr is a dead tie between Stucky, Captain Swan, and James Holden /Naomi Nagata from The Expanse. With lots of honorable mentions bringing up the rear. 😂

8. what are your writing strengths?

Plot, dialogue, world building, and having characters stay true to their nature even when seen through various AU lenses, i think. Also action and fights and sometimes even battles. And i think i have a knack for letting exposition bleed through action and dialogue, instead of writing it outright. (That last one is a hard-won skill and kills me dead at least once a chapter, you feel me.) i also put a ridiculous amount of research into everything. Seriously, it's a sickness. i once spent more than two hours looking up radio dramas from the 30s that had a supernatural bent and might appeal to teenagers. For half a throwayway line. Possibly i should not list this as a strength. 😂

9. what are your writing weaknesses?

Smut. SMUT ALL THE WAY. i cannot write it, i don't know how. People who read my fic will always get shortchanged in the E department and for that i am sorry. But i really am completely useless on the smut front. And fluff. i can do soft scenes, but i cannot write pure fluff. i don't know how to do that either. i'll write a fucking coffee shop oneshot, or a thieves AU that doesn't even crack 5K, or even a BARTENDER fic, and yet complex back story and plot and action will still burst out from between the lines. All you people out there who can just tear off a sex scene or a fluff piece, i salute you. Also all you people who have multiple WIPs. i don't know how you do it. i can only ever write one fic at a time. You are all wizards, aren't you.

10. first fandom you wrote for?

OUAT /Captain Swan, back in 2019.

Zero pressure tags: @sparkagrace @cable-knit-sweater @bittersweet-in-boston @late-to-the-party-81 @metalbvcky @voylitscope

[marquisegallery]

This took me. So long. To finish. I had hoped to finish it sometime in February, but now here we are. :u

Anyways! Much like the Devil Theory headcanons post I did a long while ago, this is a headcanons post for DOT EXE! All frickin' 8 of them!! Suffice to say this is going to be incredibly long, so keep that in mind before you jump into the Read More. You have been warned!! :P

(Also much like with Devil Theory, some of this might be based on stuff in the game, but a lot of it will just be "I personally think this would be neat!!")

There are going to be very many sections here, so I'm splitting them up to keep things organized and easier to follow. :u

The Overall Crew:

First and foremost, names! Plus heights, because I finally decided on heights for the individual members now :P

2 = Twoson (172 cm / 5’ 8")

4 = Fourside (173 cm / 5’ 8")

5 = Cinco (186 cm / 6’ 1")

8 = 8-ball (192 cm / 6’ 4")

9 = Neun (182 cm / 6’)

10 = Jūrō (178 cm / 5’ 10")

14 = Quatorze (196 cm / 6’ 5")

And then the cue ball member is just… Cueball, lol. He is 190 cm / 6’ 3". I was originally going to make him more-or-less the median height of the crew, but changed my mind later.

I know the 10 and 14 members found in the code aren't "official" members, especially since they seem to be just extra palettes for a potential playable 8-ball. But you know what, I made characters out of them anyways!! :P

Starting off with DOT EXE in general:

As mentioned in the game, they’re a group of full-cyber writers and breakdancers!! They also have a bit of a reputation as hackers, though truthfully it’s only some of them, specifically 8-ball, Neun, and Cinco. They’re the ones who came up with the name too, they just wanted something computer-y. It was originally just the three of them, and the others joined over time. In order, Quatorze and Jūrō were asked by 8-ball to join, then Twoson and Fourside asked to join after they went full-cyber, and then Cueball was the last to join.

Their writer aliases/street names are of course based on the billiard number shown on their screen faces. Which person gets which number was originally based on the actual number of letters in their real given name, but that doesn’t apply to Cueball, Twoson, or Fourside.

They have a reputation of being pretentious and stuck-up assholes (though at least not violent assholes like Devil Theory). They basically look down on most other crews as noobs, about the only writers they respect are DJ Cyber, Felix, and eventually BRC in general after the end of the game.

Of the current big crews in New Amsterdam, they’ve been operating the longest (with varying number of members of course), for about 2 decades at this point! However, them being an actual “big name” crew has only really happened in the past couple of years. They mostly stick to their own territory in Millennium Mall.

On that note! They literally own the mall. All of it. They collect rent from the various stores and companies operating in the mall. They keep the rent super low for local businesses so they can afford to compete with the big brands (especially huge international ones) that set up shop here. Meanwhile, said big brands are charged like five times more in rent. Of course, they’re never actually told that’s the case! Those companies even assume it must be the same for everyone else in the mall. The way DOT EXE spin it to them is along the lines of, “C’mon, don’t you want the prestige of having a store in the one and only Millennium Mall?!” Basically I imagine the Millennium Mall is a huge deal in that way, hence why the big companies don’t suspect anything’s off. :P

So yeah, DOT EXE make money that way. Even after taking out whatever has to be used for proper maintenance of the mall itself, for the most part they end up with a lot more than any of them need (especially since, being full-cyber, they don’t have to worry about food and stuff, just electricity and occasional maintenance/repairs). A lot of the money is saved for emergencies and fun stuff (like hobbies), and then they donate the rest to local charities.

The local businesses are aware of DOT EXE being the owners of the mall, and honestly don’t mind them being writers either! DOT EXE are also more reliable than the police when it comes to asking for help with a problem. In the case of shoplifters in particular, DOT EXE don’t even really punish the thieves, they’ll pay for whatever was stolen and ask if they need additional help (like if they only stole because they didn’t have a job and need help, etc).

The crew hate that the police can intervene at the mall, especially with the helicopters and walking tanks, not to mention the police tube things. They’ve tried to complain to the local government about it, but have been shot down every time. Now they will at the least sabotage the tubes and turrets whenever they can.

The mall is so big that there’s basically a huge solar panel farm on top. Whatever electricity doesn’t get used up by the mall ends up redirected to other parts of New Amsterdam that need it.

There’s also a whole community greenhouse up there! A rather illegal one actually, with New Amsterdam (currently) having some very strict regulations on larger-scale gardens and such (given there’s only one tree in the actual game, and it’s been dug up from Old Amsterdam). DOT EXE do not give a fuck about that clearly, and keep it operational. Especially since it’s a great source of food for a lot of people! DOT EXE managed to hack the local government offices to give the mall’s greenhouse an “official exception”, so the police have to (very begrudgingly) leave it be. Half the crew like the greenhouse since it’s such a great benefit for others, and the other half like it because they know it annoys the cops.

Their hideout is a small part of the mall that’s been sort of sectioned off just for them. Basically behind some pulled-down grates, a bunch of the stores behind said grates have been converted into rooms for them, and is collectively their hideout! There is an actual part of the mall in the game that looks like this, see below:

The rooms of the hideout are as follows: a main meeting/living room area (which also has a disused kitchen, since they don’t need to eat), a main rec area with a ton of custom arcade cabinets and hacked game consoles, a storage room, and then 4 personal rooms for the members, shared between a few of them. One for Cinco and Neun, another for Twoson and Fourside, another for Jūrō and Quatorze, and the last for 8-ball and Cueball. Though since 8-ball was killed, it’s been Cueball’s room by himself.

So yeah, they all live there, whereas pretty much every other crew has their hideout but then individual members (usually) live elsewhere.

They actually aren’t all the same age as the Oldheads, it’s just a cover so people don’t try and figure out any personal info about them. Specific ages/age ranges will be mentioned in individual sections, but really only 8-ball, Neun, and Cinco are around the Oldheads’ ages. Quatorze and Jūrō are actually a good chunk older than them, while Cueball, Twoson, and Fourside are all much younger.

Cueball in particular will always hide his real age, since part of it is related to how he went full-cyber. He will lie to most people and saying he's around the same age as 8-ball, Neun, and Cinco. He hates the pity he gets from people otherwise (more on this later!!).

Twoson and Foruside don't lie about their ages when asked, but would just say they were inspired by 8-ball, Neun, and Cinco to go full-cyber to keep being good dancers and writers. Meanwhile, Quatorze and Jūrō are pretty honest about why they actually did it (again, more on this later!!).

Their voice, outfits, and billiard screens are also covers for their identities!

For the voice, the idea is that there's a "default" voice all the DOT EXE folks use in public, but they still have their own voices based on how they sound from before going full-cyber (Twoson and Fourside are technically exceptions to this, but yeah, more on that later). Their actual voices are only used when they’re going around as “civilians” rather than writers, or otherwise in private at their hideout.

The tracksuits are basically just their costumes, similar to the costumes the other crews wear. So they do wear clothes besides the tracksuits. Sure, they don't really need to, but they like to! Especially when they're not out doing writer stuff, makes it easier for the cops to not suspect something. Each of them has their own personal style, which will be noted in the individual sections!

The screen face can be changed to different images. When they're out and about as "civilians", they tend to change their screens to sort of robotic faces, kinda similar to what non-screen cyberheads have. Those specific faces will be shown in the individual characters’ sections, with their "DOT EXE face" on the left and their individual faces on the right.

Combined with the difference in clothing and voices, it does a good job of actually hiding who they are from the cops!

Note that Cueball is an exception on the voice and screen thing, but I’ll get into that more in his section!

They are all gamers to some degree, otherwise why else would they have a rec room with so many games? They each have their own favorite genres, but overall play a wide variety of them. They’ll play by themselves or with each other depending on the game. The whole crew can get pretty competitive about high scores too, especially on the arcade cabinets!

They also each have their own hobbies outside of gaming, but again, another thing to mention in their own sections.

They all have the capability to communicate wirelessly like computers and phones, i.e. send messages directly to one another instead of to their phones. However, they don’t do that anymore. Mainly because the one time they tried to use it more often, Twoson, Fourside, and Cueball spammed so many memes to Neun that it caused him to crash. Hence why they still rely on text and calls like full-flesh writers, though some of them still do direct wireless messages to one another sometimes. Basically equivalent to whispering to someone so other people don’t hear them.

As full-cyber people, they all have sensors all over their bodies which can act the same as nerves. Detecting damage/pain, temperature, pressure/being touched, and even textures to a degree. The only difference is that these can be turned on or off, or even set to varying “levels” of sensing in between. Usually they turn down the pain/temperature detecting part of the sensors while they’re out (especially while doing writer stuff; basically just detecting damage/temperature without causing actual pain to them). They only turn them fully back on once they’re safe at their hideout.

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8-ball, Cinco, and Neun in general:

They are basically the only ones that went full-cyber to be able to dance better for the most part, though they also did it to be able to get better as writers. None of them were particularly good at either of those before then, though they all clearly wanted to improve at it.

All three of them met and became friends via a transhumanism forum online, hence them going full-cyber together. The actual process is finished up around their 30s or 40s, and they're in their 60s by the time of the game.

Cinco is from Honduras and Neun is from Germany (or so he claims...). Meanwhile 8-ball was born and raised in New Amsterdam, though his father (who he shares with Cueball) had long since moved away to somewhere in the United States.

Both Neun and Cinco did writer stuff in their respective home cities, but 8-ball talked to them a lot about the writer scene in New Amsterdam, especially a lot of the big name writers at the time. That influenced all of them to want to get better at being writers, no matter what.

Once Neun and Cinco moved to New Amsterdam, 8-ball and them formed DOT EXE! They were all full-cyber by then, and practiced together to improve their skills, eventually becoming fairly big names like the other crews.

All three of them act (or acted in 8-ball’s case) as the IT people for the whole mall.

Them getting into hacking and computer stuff mostly started after they all went full-cyber, especially since all their augmentations made it a hell of a lot easier to do.

All three of them love rhythm games, but also have other genres they particularly like. They had rhythm game competitions between the three of them, and even with 8-ball gone, Neun and Cinco still do that from time to time.

On that note, yeah, in my ideas/AU/whatever you want to call it, 8-ball’s death is very much permanent. See this post with some further details on why that is, in particular how, just because his mind’s been digitized, doesn’t mean it’d be any easier to recover.

8-ball specifically:

8-ball refers to Cueball as his bro in the game, and I like to think they’re actual brothers and not just brothers-in-a-friend-way. For my headcanons, they’re actually half-brothers, but refer to each other as brothers anyways. 8-ball is the older of the two!

He’s a bit egotistical. Just a bit.

Kind of a daredevil too, compared to the others. He was like that before going full-cyber, but then after the conversion, being “effectively” invincible just made him more reckless. Dangerous stunts! Tagging more and more high up heaven spots! Getting heat up just to be able to fight the police! So on and so forth.

He is the one who designed the team’s graffiti in-universe, hence why their small tag is more related to him that the team overall. Like I said, bit of an ego on this guy!

He is the one who managed to get ownership of the whole mall, and then just splits the management and collected rent with the others. He actually managed to win ownership of the mall in a (very) risky game of poker. And he didn’t just made that up to sound cool, Cinco and Neun were actually there to witness it!

For his normal fashion style as a civilian, basically he just focuses on looking “cool”, in particular with cool jackets. This usually means jean jackets or leather biker jackets. Also tends to wear jean pants, and shirts with cool designs on them. Which is often stuff like sharks, wolves, dragons, volcanoes, lighting bolts, tornadoes, etc. Also cool shoes of course!

For his personal favorite video game genre, he likes playing shooters, but moreso arcade style shooters and SHMUPs instead of FPSs. Still kinda ironic, given what happened to him…

Real name Frederik Visser. He mainly got into transhumanism just because he thought it was cool, and eventually took it seriously and ended up on the forum where he met Neun and Cinco.

Cinco specifically:

From Cueball’s point of view, he’s the fun uncle!

Fluent in Spanish, speaks it with a Honduran accent. Sometimes uses Spanish words when talking casually, usually terms of endearment for others. Or insults/swears, because he finds it more satisfying to do so in Spanish, lol

Knows a ton of jokes, including puns, in several languages.

A charming guy, very outgoing and friendly with just about everyone!

Also a “he has your back when you need it” kind of pal to DOT EXE in general, but especially 8-ball and Neun. After 8-ball died, he got a bit more protective of Cueball too.

For his fashion style, he likes wearing patterned button-down shirts and sports shorts. For the shirts, of course that includes what’s called Hawaiian shirts, but really anything that has some sort of fancy/detailed patterned will catch his eye. Also tends to wear sandals/flipflops, or crocs.

He really likes racing games, also sports games in general!

Cinco was a bit of a jock type before going full-cyber on that note, playing a lot of sports back then too. He tried to get into various professional sports but never got very far. He’s good at whatever he plays, but evidently just not one of the best for it. Also doesn’t help that he never tried focusing on one particular sport at a time, to the point where he stretched himself thin after a while.

Occasionally plays basketball with the Franks, he’s actually good pals with them because of it!

Likes sports and muscle cars, though mostly driving them and not the maintenance part. He may or may not participate in drag races using stolen cars. Not that it’s hard to steal a car in New Amsterdam, there’s a lot of rich people with “smart” cars who don’t change the default passwords…

Real name César Hugo Raúl Garcia-Flores. On both sides of his family there’s histories of genetic illnesses, and after a certain point he was starting to show some early signs of them. This of course started affecting his health, and with his focus on sports and also wanting to get better as a writer/dancer, he ended up on the transhumanism forum to hopefully find a way to handle all that.

He genuinely didn’t intended to go full-cyber, just wanted to look into “less intensive” cybernetics. However, becoming friends with 8-ball and Neun and going over what they were planning themselves basically led Cinco to decide, “You know what? Might as well go all the way with this myself!”

A note on his full name, if people ask about it: he’ll say his parents couldn’t decide between the two middle names, and just gave him both. Meanwhile, neither parent was backing down about giving him one family name or the other, so they decided to just hyphenate it. But then they had an argument over the order (Garcia-Flores or Flores-Garcia), so they flipped a coin on it… that all being said, Cinco always says this like it’s another joke, so no one’s entirely sure if it’s the real story or not.

He had a boyfriend before going full-cyber. They broke up because of him hiding the fact he was planning to go full-cyber at all. Then again, them breaking up over that was inevitable anyways, because said boyfriend was the type of person to see cybernetics (especially full-cyber stuff) as something unnatural and disgusting. By the time of the game, Cinco has long since gotten over it (for the most part).

May or may not end up dating Escher, hee hee

Neun specifically:

From Cueball’s point of view, he’s basically the stern uncle lol

Has a bit of a “neutral” accent when speaking in his actual voice. It’s clear he’s hiding whatever his “real” accent is supposed to be, but no one knows what he naturally sounds like, not even 8-ball and Cinco. His voice gets shockingly deep when he’s angry, which is very rare.

Fluent in German and Spanish, having grown up speaking both languages. Claims to be from Germany. Though, he’s only ever spoken Spanish with Cinco in private “for some reason”...

… The reason being that he’s actually Argentinian (of German descent, hence him learning that language) and very much has the accent when speaking Spanish. Cinco clocked him as such when listening to him speak Spanish one time. Neun doesn’t want people to know that about him, so he’s sworn Cinco to never speak of it to anyone, even 8-ball. More on why later...

When in public, he basically puts up a front and acts the same kind of “dudebro” kind of way the rest of the members act. Outside of that, overall he’s a very serious and kinda cold guy, but he does genuinely care about his friends (and eventually the rest of the crew, though it took him a while to get there).

Between him, 8-ball, and Cinco, Neun is basically the “friend in charge of the one collective brain cell” kind of guy. It’s also why he’s second-in-command of DOT EXE, becoming the leader once 8-ball is killed.

Also the crew’s accountant, mostly in charge of sorting out collecting rent from the businesses in the mall. He gives a lot of leeway for local businesses if they’re late on rent, but gives no such mercy to the bigger brands in the mall.

Likes to stay organized. He will pick up after the others if they leave a mess, but will also complain and berate them while doing so.

Not exactly a fan of jokes or pranks. He dislikes puns in particular and finds them genuinely annoying (not in a “Damn it, I wish I thought of that myself!!” kind of way). He makes an exception for Cinco’s jokes, but mostly out of politeness as a friend. And even then it’s not like Neun will laugh, he’ll just politely stay quiet and shake his head.

For his normal fashion outside of the tracksuits, well, Neun can be described as looking like a stereotypical nerd. This means collar shirts and khaki pants, lol

Neun likes playing RPGs and strategy games, though he’s very old school and picky about what he plays. If it doesn’t have some sort of hard mode, at the very least a hard mode that can be modded in, he won’t bother with it. Just as an example, he likes playing Pokemon games but only with modded super hard modes and with Smogon-style strategies and team builds.

Claims his real name is Sebastian Jäger. He was originally just on the transhumanism forum out of curiosity, not really taking it seriously. However, at one point he had a mid-life crisis related to mortality, especially after having to deal with a string of family deaths around the same time. With him wanting to be a better writer and breakdancer, at that point he felt like he had limited time to even live at all, let alone enough time to improve at either of those.

Hence why he started being more active on the forum and looking into full-cyber conversion in particular, and that eventually led to him becoming friends with 8-ball and Cinco. He’ll never admit to this though.

He’ll also never admit that he accidentally crossed the wrong people on his journey to both go full-cyber and move to New Amsterdam. He’s convinced they’re still looking for him, even if the chances are incredibly slim. Thus why he’s hiding at least part of his origins...

His actual real name is Sebastián Montero, but again, he’s basically in hiding right now. "Jäger" was apparently the family name of an ancestor of his.

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Quatorze and Jūrō in general:

Quatorze is French, and Jūrō is of Japanese descent, both born and raised in France. Both can of course speak French, with their real speaking voices having a Parisian French accent. Jūrō is also fluent in Japanese.

They were both big time writers in their youth, with stories about them being what inspired 8-ball to become a writer in the first place! Then him talking about them to Cinco and Neun is what collectively pushed all three of them to want to get better at being writers.

They are a married couple and still consider themselves married as wife and husband, even after going full-cyber together (technically they are considered legally dead and thus no longer married, but screw the laws man).

On that note, surprise, Quatorze is actually a woman! Thanks to the default voice for the crew and the tracksuits, everyone just assumes she’s a man without hearing her real voice. That’s intentional, I’ll get into it a bit more in her specific section.

They are very, very loving to each other. Think Gomez and Morticia Addams, just without a morbid humor angle. Jūrō basically praises and is encouraging of everything Quatorze does, and Quatorze love to compliment him for anything he does too. Though sometimes it does get on her nerves, and he apologizes when she asks him to dial it back a bit. But also they have the mushiest pet names for each other.

They are both willing to kill and be killed for the sake of their spouse, but of course each of them would prefer that the other not going that far.

They see 8-ball, Cinco, and Neun as their peers. Meanwhile, both of them dote on Cueball, Twoson, and Fourside like their actual kids/grandkids. Cueball finds it annoying but secretly likes it, meanwhile Twoson and Fourside outright call them Granny and Granpy respectively.

Real names Marie-Madeleine Lucille Perrault, and Maximilien Théodore Perrault, respectively. Their backstory of how they went full-cyber is connected, so I’ll just go over it here: Tragically, in their 70s, Quatorze got cancer at some point, a kind that was unfortunately very hard to treat. She had the option to go full-cyber instead of continuing risky treatment just to potentially die due to being weakened by said treatment. And her husband Jūrō also went full-cyber to be able to stay with her!

Unfortunately, their kids were not happy with that. For some of them, there was confusion about how inheritance would work (eventually finding out that Quatorze and Jūr�� would be considered legally dead anyways, so it was “fine”). For others, it’s moreso that they had already accepted that their mom will die, only for her to choose to keep living in the most “selfish” and “unnatural” way possible.

Suffice to say, Quatorze and Jūrō have not spoken to their kids since then, and they haven’t seen their grandkids since then either. They’re more torn up about not seeing their grandkids (they weren’t exactly happy with their kids fighting over inheritance and criticizing their parents’ decision on how to keep living). For the most part they’ve come to accept they’ll never see them again, but Jūrō is secretly holding onto hope they might see their grandkids again someday…

After the two of them went full-cyber, sometime later 8-ball reached out to them, having heard about what happened to them. He was basically like, "Hey you guys were big inspirations to us as writers! Wanna join our new full-cyber crew??" (at that point it was just him, Cinco, and Neun). They responded, "Well, we're not sure how to spend our retirement now, so sure! :)" So by the time of the game’s events, they’re in their 80s.

Quatorze specifically:

She’s basically the team mom! Very caring towards everyone in the crew, but also more than willing to put her foot down to get them to behave when needed.

Before going full-cyber, she was an actress. Her pretending to be a man when out and about as a writer is mainly to hide her identity. She was fairly famous at her peak, so even with her being “legally” dead, she doesn’t want people to find and bother her, especially not any overzealous fans. She does look back on her past work with fondness though, some of her favorite roles was getting to play as hammy, over-the-top villains in cartoons, animated movies, and live action movies.

Though as an actress, her pretending to be a man while in public as DOT EXE (including using the default voice the same as the others) is also just another role for her. She finds it a lot of fun!

She knits, as well as crocheting, weaving, and other crafts involving threads and such. She will knit you a sweater/scarf/hat if you ask politely!

For her civilian fashion, she likes wearing sweaters and long skirts. Sometimes she wears sundresses with a nice sunhat during the summer months, even if it’s not really necessary as a full-cyber person. She has fancier dresses she wears for date nights with Jūrō.

Her favorite kinds of video games are puzzle games and ‘slow’ platformers, mainly things along the lines of Klonoa, Kirby, Mario, and Banjo-Kazooie.

Jūrō specifically:

He’s basically the team dad! Very supportive of his crew mates. He leaves being the “stern parent” to Quatorze though, especially since Jūrō tends to be too soft on someone if they messed up or started issues with the rest of the crew. It was the same when they were full-flesh with their kids and grandkids, he’s mainly just afraid of seeming too “mean”.

Unfortunately he can’t do dad jokes, but at least Cinco has that covered, lol

He worked as an accountant, but didn’t like the work very much. He was able to be a stay-at-home dad once Quartorze’s acting career really took off!

He likes to garden, and he’s the one that works the most on the mall’s greenhouse.

For his civilian fashion, usually wears nice pants (like the kind for suits) + long button-down shirts. Also wears sweater vests that his wife makes for him! He has full suits and waistcoats for date nights with Quatorze.

His favorite kinds of video games are life sim games, such as Animal Crossing and Stardew Valley (“If only growing plants were this easy in real life!”). He also likes idle games, especially ones that don’t demand his attention too much.

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Twoson and Fourside in general:

Yes, their names are references to the Earthbound towns of the same name. They picked out their own billiard numbers to specifically make that reference, lol

Twoson is agender (they/he) and Fourside is nonbinary (also they/he). Note that they were like this long before going full-cyber, since some people may assume it happened because of the transition.

For their voices, they actually only use their real voices when they’re alone together in private, and no one else knows what they “really” sound like. When out as civilians or in private with their crewmates, they use different synthesized voices from the one used for DOT EXE. Their specific synthesized voices will be noted in their individual sections.

For their civilian screen faces, these two will actually change them to express certain emotions, usually with very anime-esque stuff (eye shines, exaggerated evil grins, etc). Other members will just keep their faces static and express themselves through their voice and hand/body movement.

They are both pranksters, they love to cause mischief and mayhem! Not even their own crewmates are safe.

They get along with Cueball in a sort of sibling way. Sometimes getting along great, other times being at each others’ throats (i.e. Cueball vs. Twoson and Fourside, the two of them are deep friends and have never really fought each other).

Jūrō has taught both of them Japanese. He insisted on it after hearing them talk (or rather, trying to talk) in Japanese once, they were really horrible at it before his lessons. They both also know a bit of Spanish from Cinco.

Between the two of them, they have a huge anime and manga collection! I will mention some of their individual favorite genres for that in their respective sections.

They make video games! Just as a hobby, so all the games they make are free. Said games are mostly in the form of super hard ROM Hacks, or weird/eccentric/trippy games (think along the lines of Yume Nikki, OFF, Hylics, Space Funeral, Goblet Grotto, LSD Dream Emulator, etc.). Neither of them can code very well, so they usually convince/force Cueball into helping them with their various projects. What they provide for said projects themselves is mostly the ideas (both of them), music (Twoson specifically), and art assets (Fourside specifically).

Suffice to say, the games they make are not ones that any of the other DOT EXE members normally play. Neun has played some of the ROM hacks they’ve made for RPGs though, mostly because of the ridiculous challenges they put in.

They both have similar tastes in music, usually stuff that is fairly “eccentric” compared to mainstream music. Basically along the lines of Caravan Palace, Will Wood, Lemon Demon, Jack Stauber, GHOST and Pals, Vane, and R.I.P.. Also enjoy a lot of Vocaloid and Synthysizer V songs, especially the more creepy and macabre stuff.

On that note, they’ve definitely hijacked the mall’s sound systems to play their favorite songs as pranks on people more than once.

They both really like horror games. With poorly made ones, they only play them to riff on them and make fun of their game design. They may or may not have a YouTube channel dedicated to this. They may or may not also do streams as vTubers on that note…

Honestly they like horror content in general. Movies, novels, games, anime, manga, comics, TV shows, art… they’d probably get along great with Daishō!

Real names are Beau Driessen and Robin Zaal respectively. Like with Quatorze and Jūrō, Twoson and Fourside’s backstories are connected. Twoson was severely injured in what was ruled an “accident”, to the point of only having two options: go full-cyber, or just stay bedridden for the rest of their life. Meanwhile, Fourside went full-cyber in order to bury their old identity, after having taken care of the people who caused the “accident”. Both of them going full-cyber happened in their late 20s, they're both about 35 now.

They were both writers before going full-cyber, and the “accident” was caused by some rivals they had to deal with. After the conversion, they heard about DOT EXE as a full-cyber crew, and decided to join up with them.

They are very protective of one another. Fourside in particular will get very vicious against anyone who tries to hurt Twoson, even if it’s another DOT EXE member.

They’re also the type to use insults to show affection to each other, “You nerd!”, “You’re such a dork!”, etc. Towards anyone else, it’s genuine insults.

Twoson specifically:

The voice they use when going around as a civilian is an androgynous synthesized voice that’s a bit on the higher side.

Twoson is the nicer of the two, for what it’s worth, but still tends to be obnoxious at times. They also like to be fakely sweet sometimes, especially when trying to get a favor out of someone else.

For fashion, Twoson likes wearing a jean vest covered in a ton of buttons. They also like to wear skirts over cargo capris, tie-dye shirts, chokers/collars, and headbands which have been modified to fit over their head.

They like to do craft stuff sometimes, like origami, needle felting, papercraft, and clay sculptures. They also make the buttons and tie-dye shirts that both themself and Fourside wear.

They make music! The best way to describe it is very weird and also sometimes creepy. Basically ranging from quirky digital/midi music, to dreamy but still unnerving drones and tones, to Silent Hill 1 industrial scary noises.

Besides horror video games, they really like dating sims and visual novels. They have a whole menagerie of what they call their fictional spouses.

Twoson likes the magical girl genre in particular for anime and manga. They actually really hate shows like Puella Magi Madoka Magica that try to subvert the genre or otherwise do an intentionally “edgy” take on it. A lot of magical girl series already have dark themes anyways!

Fourside specifically:

The voice they use when going around as a civilian is an androgynous synthesized voice that’s a bit on the lower side.

Fourside is the meaner of the two, for what it’s worth. They’re more quick to genuinely insult people and use a lot of sarcasm. However, they will be respectful when it counts, usually only for other DOT EXE members.

For fashion, Fourside also likes wearing a jean vest with tons of buttons and tie-dye shirts, like Twoson does. They also wear a skirt over skinny jeans, lots of bracelets, and beanies that Quatorze has made for them.

On that note, Quatorze made some of the thread/string bracelets that Fourside wears, and she showed them how to make bracelets on their own too. So the rest are the ones Fourside made! You can tell which ones were from when they first started out, and which ones are more recent and thus better quality. They’ve also made some of the collars/chokers that Twoson wears.

Fourside does digital art in the form of 3D models and complex MS Paint stuff. They mainly do this just to make weird stuff and put it out their for people to enjoy. A lot of it is very abstract and weird, with a sort of “old-school Internet” vibe a la ENA/Eastern Mind: The Lost Souls of Tong-Nou/Disillusion ST/Hylics/etc.

Besides horror video games, they really love beat ‘em ups and fighting games! Do not challenge them to some of the big ones (Street Fighter, Tekken, Smash Bros, etc.) unless you want to lose.

Fourside has no particular favorite genre for anime/manga, but tends to like series that end up categorized as shōnen. Also really enjoys superhero tokusatsu shows and movies (i.e. stuff like Super Sentai/Power Rangers, Kamen Rider, Ultraman, etc).

Cueball

He’s the lovable goofball basically. Lots of joking around and teasing people, especially his friends! That’s basically how he shows affection a lot of the time.

Though he’s also fiercely loyal to his friends and crew. Mostly because despite being friendly and outgoing, he doesn’t exactly have a lot of friends outside of DOT EXE. Eventually that changes once he joins BRC, but he still cares about and hangs out with his old crewmates.

He’s from the United States, and 8-ball helped him with moving to New Amsterdam.

He loves cats! Before he went full-cyber, he was very allergic to cats and wasn’t allowed to have any because of that. After going full-cyber, he eventually realized he didn’t have to worry about allergies anymore. And so he set out to adopt ALL the cats, lol. It got bad enough to be a hoarding situation, and the rest of DOT EXE at the time (8-ball, Cinco, and Neun, this being before any of the other and Cueball himself joining) had to step in for an intervention. They got the cats rehomed or put in adoption centers/cat shelters, and Cueball decided to just volunteer at those shelters to help out. A much better situation for everyone involved, especially the cats!

Cueball owns a ton of blankets and pillows, and likes to make his own pillow forts and stuff in his room for Extra Comfort. Also sometimes throws them in a clothes dryer to make them warm. With the thing about body sensors for full-cyber people I mentioned earlier, Cueball is of course the one that takes full advantage of the sensors whenever he can!

Quatorze has made whole blankets for Cueball. He doesn’t like to admit it, but he does appreciate those blankets, they’re very comfy.

His favorite kinds of video games are action, action-adventure, and search action (a.k.a “Metroidvania”).

Cueball hates his real voice for the most part, and he’s the only one who will keep using the default DOT EXE voice even when alone with the rest of the crew. They do know what he sounded like before he used that default voice (he only started using it all the time after he joined DOT EXE), but it’s been so long that most of them have forgotten it by now.

When it comes to fashion, Cueball’s “style” is more about comfort than anything else. Hoodies! Sweatpants! Sweaters! Oversized t-shirts! Comfy socks! Super comfy sneakers! Sometimes various winter hats if he can find any that will fit over his head lol. He has a ton of stuff that Quartoze has made for him, though he feels embarrassed to actually wear them outside of the hideout.

As mentioned previously, he doesn’t bother changing his screen face to a different one from his billiards face. Though he will change the red triangle in the middle to different emojis or reaction images/gifs for expressions. Or otherwise to mess with people.

So Cueball is the only one who doesn't bother with the voice changing nor face changing. The only thing different is his clothes. If a cop suspects he's the same Cueball from DOT EXE, he basically goes, "Oh? You think I look like a criminal just because I'm full-cyber too? Prejudice much?!" and that actually gets them to back down most of the time lol

He used to do programming and other computer related tasks (including messing with servers and hardware) as a job after going full-cyber and before eventually joining DOT EXE. He’s still good at those things too! But at least now he keeps up with those more as a hobby, which he honestly prefers. He thus tends to refuse to help with the IT stuff for the mall, he’s sick of doing that kind of thing for work.

He wanted in on the crew mostly because he was sick of feeling “left behind” by everyone else whenever they’d go out to do writer stuff. By the time he joined, Quatorze, Jūrō, Twoson, and Fourside had already become part of the crew.

He’s the only DOT EXE member with no prior experience as a writer (especially before going full-cyber), and so he’s had to put in a lot of practice with the rest of the crew. Due to his lack of skills, he was only really allowed to join because his older brother 8-ball let him join, and even then only after Cueball begged him about it a lot.

On that note, and as mentioned in 8-ball’s section, Cueball and 8-ball are specifically half-brothers. They cared about each other, and 8-ball very much tried to help out his little brother whenever he could. Back when the two of them were still full-flesh, they weren’t too close, but at least kept in touch via email and sometimes actual postcards despite the age difference between them. Mostly 8-ball wanted to be sure Cueball had another adult he could turn to if he was in trouble, because he knows how their dad is.

After moving to New Amsterdam, they did get a little closer as brothers. Cueball has a lot of admiration for his older brother because of his writer activities, though sometimes Cueball would be annoyed or even hate 8-ball for (in his eyes) “babying” him when 8-ball was just trying to keep him safe. Eventually, sometime after 8-ball died, Cueball mostly just regrets not really knowing 8-ball that well in the end.

Cueball starts trying to get into rhythm games after 8-ball’s death, and he even tries to join in on the rhythm game competitions with Cinco and Neun. He’s getting pretty good at it!

He does a lot of pranks with Twoson and Fourside. Also prank wars between the three of them! Neun makes a point to have plans outside of New Amsterdam for the weeks surrounding April Fools Day, while the rest of the crew just roll with it.

Besides Twoson and Fourside, Cueball gets along fairly well with Cinco, Jūrō, and Quatorze. For the last one, he has accidentally called her mom once, and he had her swear to never tell anyone else what happened.

He’s dating Bō! Cueball is really big on physical touch as a show of affection. He is thus incredibly cuddly and big on handholding and hugs! He also cuts back on the jokes and teasing just for Bō (for the most part).

He used to do a lot of cooking and baking before he went full-cyber. Once he started dating Bō, he actually go back into cooking to be able to cook stuff for his boyfriend! He still remembers all of the recipes he tried out, plus reads up on new ones to try. Unfortunately, due to of course having no sense of taste now, he has to either use recipes that don’t need tasting in between steps, stick with recipes that he already knows Bō likes, or otherwise make sure Bō is around for taste-testing.

Bō is the only one who knows what Cueball’s real voice sounds like, and even then Cueball only uses it when they’re alone together in private.

Real name Ernesto Alberto Visser. Cueball got Covid when he was about 15. The resulting long Covid was bad enough that, in his early 20s, he decided to just go full-cyber instead of continuing to suffer. His older brother 8-ball helped him out with that. At first it was just helping him move to New Amsterdam to get better medical treatment (and to get away from their dad and Cueball’s mom for that matter) once Cueball turned 18. Eventually that lead to helping Cueball with going full-cyber once the treatments proved ineffective. He did so sometime after 8-ball, Neun, and Cinco went full-cyber themselves. Cueball is about 43 during the time of the game.

Cueball originally had plans to become a chef or at least a baker, but when he got sick, part of the problems from his Covid infection was that his sense of taste got completely messed up. He was originally going to do programming as a hobby thing. But once he went full-cyber, he did programming as a full time job since he didn’t have anything else going for him, until eventually joining DOT EXE many years later.

Because of why he went full-cyber, he is distrustful of doctors (due to both the quack doctors his parents forced him to see to pretend that his Covid symptoms “weren’t that bad”, and the actual doctors later on who knew how serious his condition was but couldn’t do much for him anyways). He insists on accompanying his full-flesh friends to their doctor appointments to make sure they’re safe!!

[fogwitchoftheevermore]

Assigning Every Fall Out Boy Song to The Life Series

because i'm a normal person with normal person feelings about fall out boy's discography and the life series. trust me.

“every” is a strong word here because fall out boy's discography is Literally Like 150+ Songs so i’m only doing the songs off their main 8 albums in this post. if enough people ask (which i seriously doubt will happen), i’ll do the eps+remixes as well.

sorry if there is an overabundance of certain characters/a lack of certain characters. i tried to include people are frequently as possible but a: i am inherently biased (though some of my faves are pretty underrepresented), b: not everyone has the same amount of content to draw from because they haven't all been in every season and c: some of these guys are simply not fall out boy characters to me. it's just how it is.

so, under the cut will be, in release order, every fall out boy song assigned to a life series character/event+the lyric that i think best represents why i assigned it.

TAKE THIS TO YOUR GRAVE

Tell That Mick He Just Made My List of Things to Do Today: DL!Pearl

To my favorite liar, to my favorite scar (to my favorite scar!)/I could have died with you/I hope you choke on those words that kiss that bottle/Confess (so bury me in memory)

Dead on Arrival: SL!Gem and Pearl (Gem POV)

This is side one, flip me over/I know I'm not your favorite record/The songs you grow to like never stick at first/So I'm writing you a chorus, and here is your verse/No, it's not the last time, 'cause I'd never say no to you/This conversation's still dead on arrival/And there's no way to talk to you/When you're dead on

Grand Theft Autumn / Where Is Your Boy: DL!Etho (JUST TRUST ME. AND ALSO GO WATCH THE BIT WHERE FINDS OUT BDUBS+IMPULSE ARE SOULMATES)

When I wake up/I'm willing to take my chances on/The hope I'd forget that you hate him more than you notice/I wrote this for you (for you, so…)/You need him, I could be him/I could be an accident, but I'm still trying/And that's more than I can say for him/Where is your boy tonight?/I hope he is a gentleman

Saturday: SL!Gem

Pete and I attacked the laws of Astoria with promise and precision/And mess of youthful innocence/And I read about the afterlife, but I never really lived/More than an hour (More than an hour)/When I say/Two more weeks, my foot is in the door, yeah/I can't sleep, in the wake of Saturday

Homesick at Space Camp: Post 3L!Skizz

Tonight is all about "We miss you" now/These friends are, new friends are golden

Sending Postcards From a Plane Crash (Wish You Were Here): Post DL!Joel

Every friend we ever had in common/I will sever the tie, sever the tie with you/You can thank your lucky stars/Everything I wish for will never come true/When you go, I will forget everything about you

Chicago Is So Two Years Ago: LimL!Martyn

You want apologies, girl, you might hold your breath/Until your breathing stops forever, forever/The only thing you'll get is this curse on your lips/I hope they taste of me forever

The Pros and Cons of Breathing: DL!Pearl

Woah, I want to hate you half as much as I hate myself/You know that I could crush you with my voice/Stood on my roof and tried to see you/Forgetting about me/Hide the details/I don't want to know a thing

Grenade Jumper: The Heart Foundation

They'll say it's not worth it, so we'll leave this town in ruin/Living like life's going out of style, and you came to watch us play/Like a "big shot talent", but at the end of the day you know/Woah, those busted lips we take back home

Calm Before The Storm: DL!Ren

You said/Between your smiles and regrets/"Don't say it's over"/Dead and gone, dead and gone, yeah

Reinventing the Wheel to Run Myself Over: DL!Jimmy and Tango

I can't wake up to these reminders of who I am/A failure at everything, 18 going on extinct/I know my place, it's nowhere you should roam

The Patron Saint of Liars and Fakes: SL!Jimmy

I'm all ears and I'm all scars/To hear you tell me, "Boys like you, you try too hard/To look not quite as desperate," I'm hanging on/But I still know the way to make your makeup run/So, and when it all goes to Hell, will you be able to tell/Me "sorry" with a straight face?

FROM UNDER THE CORK TREE

Our Lawyer Made Us Change The Name Of This Song So We Wouldn’t Get Sued: 3L!Impulse

We're only liars but we're the best (We're the best)/We're only good for the latest trends/We're only good 'cause you can have almost famous friends/Besides, we've got such good fashion sense

Of All The Gin Joints In All The World: 3L!Ren and Martyn

You only hold me up like this/'Cause you don't know who I really am/Sometimes I just want to know what it's like to be you

Dance, Dance: DL!Bigb and Ren (Ren perspective, also this is specifically applicable most antagonistic moments of their relationship we get, to be clear. This is not the usual approach I take to them.)

You always fold just before you're found out/Drink up it's last call/Last resort, but only the first mistake, and I/I'm two quarters and a heart down/And I don't want to forget how your voice sounds/These words are all I have so I'll write them/So you need them just to get by/Why don't you show me a little bit of spine/You've been saving for his mattress, love

Sugar, We’re Goin Down: Martyn

We're going down, down in an earlier round (Take aim at myself)/And sugar, we're going down swingin' (Take back what you said)/I'll be your number one with a bullet (Take aim at myself)/A loaded God complex, cock it and pull it

Nobody Puts Baby In The Corner: LL!Cleo

I keep my jealousy close/'Cause it's all mine/And if you say this makes you happy, then I'm not the only one/Lyin'

I’ve Got A Dark Alley And A Bad Idea That Says You Should Shut Your Mouth (Summer Songs): Joel

Joke me something awful just like kisses on the necks of "best friends"/We're the kids who feel like dead ends/And I want to be known for my hits, not just my misses/I took a shot and didn't even come close

7 Minutes In Heaven (Atavan Halen): LimL!Grian

Sitting out dances on the wall/Trying to forget everything that isn't you/I'm not going home alone/'Cause I don't do too well on my own

Sophomore Slump Or Comeback Of The Year: SL!Skizz

We're the therapists pumping through your speakers/Delivering just what you need/We're well-read and poised/We're the best boys/We're the chemists who've found the formula/To make your heart swell and burst/No matter what they say/Don't believe a word

Champagne For My Real Friends, Real Pain For My Sham Friends: DL!Joel and Etho

Strike us like matches, 'cause everyone deserves the flames/We only do it for the scars and stories, not the fame/At least everyone is trying, everyone is shining/Everyone deserves the flames but it's such a shame, such a shame

I Slept With Someone In Fall Out Boy And All I Got Was This Stupid Song Written About Me: Scott

I'm the first kid to write of hearts, lies, and friends/And I am sorry my conscience called in sick again/And I've got arrogance down to a science/Oh, and I'm the first kid to write of hearts, lies, and friends, now

A Little Less Sixteen Candles, A Little More “Touch Me”: LL!BigB

I confess, I messed up/Dropping "I'm sorry" like you're still around/And I know you dressed up/"Hey, kid, you'll never live this down"/And you're just the girl all the boys wanna dance with/And I'm just the boy who's had too many chances/I'm sleepin' on your folks' porch again, dreamin'/She said, she said, she said, "Why don't you just drop dead?"

Get Busy Living Or Get Busy Dying (Do Your Part To Save The Scene And Stop Going To Shows): DL!Grian and Scar (Scar POV)

I know this hurts, it was meant to (it was meant to)/Your secret's out and the best part is it isn't even a good one/And it's mind over you don't, don't matter

XO: LL!Mumbo (Look, this is a stretch, I'll be real, but this song was giving me so much fucking trouble. Let me live.)

To the "love," I left my conscience/Pressed between the pages of/The Bible in the drawer, "What did it ever do for me"/I say/It never calls me when I'm down/Love never wanted me, but I took it anyway/Put your ear to the speaker and choose love or sympathy/But never both, love never wanted me

Snitches and Talkers Get Stitches And Walkers: SL!Tango

Here's a picture with a note, "No, don't turn out like me"/It's only for your own good/No-oh, oh, oh/And haven't you heard, the word on the street is/"I lost it, called it quits," get out into the sun

The Music Or The Misery: LL!Bdubs and Etho (Etho perspective)

I got your love letters, corrected the grammar and sent them back/It's true, romance is dead, I shot it in the chest then in the head/And if you wanna go down in history then I'm your friend/Because they've got me in a band where I've never seen a heart I couldn't break

INFINITY ON HIGH

Thriller: SL!Scar

Last summer, we took threes across the board/But by fall, we were a cover story, "Now in stores"/Make us poster boys for your scene/But we are not making an acceptance speech

“The Take Over, The Breaks Over”: LimL!Cleo

Wouldn't you rather be a widow than a divorcee?/Style your wake for fashion magazines, oh-oh-oh/Widow or a divorcee?/Don't pretend, d-d-d-don't pretend/We do it in the dark with smiles on our faces/We're trapped and well concealed in secret places/We don't fight fair

This Ain’t A Scene. It’s An Arms Race: SL!Scar

I am an arms dealer/Fitting you with weapons in the form of words/And don't really care which side wins/Long as the room keeps singing/That's just the business I'm in

I’m Like A Lawyer With The Way I’m Always Trying To Get You Off (Me & You): SL!Jimmy and Martyn

We're the new face of failure/Prettier and younger, but not any better off/Bulletproof loneliness/At best, at best

Hum Hallelujah: LL!Cleo

I thought I loved you, it was just how you looked in the light/A teenage vow in a parking lot/'Til tonight do us part/I sing the blues and you swallow them too/My words are my faith, to hell with our good name

Golden: Joel (LimL especially, but also just in general)

How cruel is the golden rule/When the lives we lived are only golden-plated?/And I knew that the lights of the city were too heavy for me/Though I carried carats for everyone to see/And I saw God cry in the reflection of my enemies/And all the lovers with no time for me/And all of the mothers raise their babies/To stay away from me

Thnks fr th Mmrs: LimL!BigB and Pearl

Been looking forward to the future/But my eyesight is going bad/And this crystal ball…/It's always cloudy except for (Except for…)/When you look into the past (Look into the past…)/One night stand…/One night stand off!

Don’t You Know Who I Think I Am?: LimL!Skizz

They say quitters never win/But we walk the plank on a sinking ship/There's a world outside of my front door/That gets off on being down/Oh-oh, oh-oh/I could learn to pity fools as I'm the worst of all/And I can't stop feeling sorry for myself, whoa-oh

The (After) Life Of The Party: Scar, again. I don't know what to tell you, this is a very Scar album.

I'm a stitch away from making it/And a scar away from falling apart, apart/Blood cells pixelate and eyes dilate/And the full moon pills got me out on the street at night

The Carpal Tunnel Of Love: LL!Mumbo and Jimmy

Tired yawns for fawns on hunter's lawns/We're the has-beens of husbands/Sharpening the knives of young wives/Take two years and call me when you're better

Bang The Doldrums: DL+LimL!Jimmy and Tango

The tombstones were waiting, they were half-engraved/They knew it was over, they just didn't know the date…/And I cast a spell over the west to make you think of me/The same way I think of you/This is a love song in my own way/Happily ever after below the waist/Best friends, ex-friends 'til the end/Better off as lovers

Fame > Infamy: LL!Joel

I am God's gift, but why would he bless me with/Such wit without a conscience equipped/I'm addicted to the way I feel when I think of you, whoa/There's too much green to feel blue

You’re Crashing, But You’re No Wave: This is far from the only FOB song about a sensitive topic but it's one of the like... two that I don't feel comfortable assigning to something.

I’ve Got All This Ringing In My Ears And None On My Fingers: DL!BigB

You're a canary, I'm a coal mine/'Cause sorrow is just all the rage/Take one for the team/You all know what I mean/And I'm so sorry but not really/Tell the boys where to find my body

G.I.N.A.S.F.S.: DL!Impulse and Bdubs

Trade baby blues for wide eyed browns/I sleep with your old shirts and walk through this house in your shoes/You know, it's strange/It's a strange way of saying that I know I'm supposed to love you/I'm supposed to love you/I've already given up on myself twice/Third time is the charm, third time is the charm/Threw caution to the wind, but I've got a/Lousy arm

It’s Hard To Say “I Do”, When I Don’t: Am I allowed to say this is a Watchers song? I don't care I'm saying it.

I speak fast and I'm not gonna repeat myself, no/So listen carefully to every word I say/I'm the only one who's gonna get away/With making excuses today/You're appealing to emotions that I simply do not have

FOLIE A DEUX

Disloyal Order Of Water Buffaloes: Impulse

Oh, I'm a loose bolt of a complete machine/What a match, I'm half-doomed, and you're semi-sweet/So boycott love, detox just to retox/And I'd promise you anything for another shot at life

I Don’t Care: LL!Fairy Fort

Let the leaves fall off in the summer/And let December glow in flames (In flames; oh)/Erase myself and let go/Start it over again in Mexico/These friends, they don't love you/They just love the hotel suites now

She’s My Winona: SL!Martyn

We didn't come to compete, this is a demonstration/Even the young ones become irrelevant/They always bring up how you've changed

America’s Suitehearts: SL!Gem

Let's hear it for America's suitehearts, but I must confess/I'm in love with my own sins/You can bow and pretend that/You don't, don't know you're a legend, oh/Time, time, time hasn't told anyone else yet

Headfirst Slide Into Cooperstown On A Bad Bet: LimL+SL!Cleo, Bdubs, and Etho

Does your husband know the way that/The sunshine gleams from your wedding band?/Does he know the way, does he know the way/Of the crickets that would convince me to call it a night?/But I will never end up like him/Behind my back, I already am

The (Shipped) Gold Standard: LimL!Bdubs

All the yes-men said "No comment"/My mouth got going/The wrong way, and all the calls started snowing/The time my dad caught me a horseshoe crab/And I asked him if throwing it back into the sea would bring our luck back/I wanna scream "I love you" from the top of my lungs/But I'm afraid that someone else will hear me

(Coffee’s For Closers): LL!BigB

Though change will come, oh, change will come/I will never believe in anything again/We will never believe again/Kick drum beating in my chest again/No, we will never believe again/Preach electric to a microphone stand, oh

What A Catch, Donnie: This song is a compilation of different vocalists from bands associated with the band, a compilation of previous songs of theirs, and one of the only FOB ballads. I can't pull a specific lyric, but this one could be solidly used for a compilation/retrospective of every season so far.

27: This is the other one I don't feel comfortable assigning to anything. Moving on.

Tiffany Blews: SL!Lizzie

I'm not a crybaby/I'm the crybaby/A caterpillar that got stuck/Mr. Moth, come quick with any luck/A long walk to a dark house/A Roman candle heart, keep us far apart/I'm cocktail party doin' alright, hate me baby/Maybe I'm a piece of art/Oh, my friends all lie and say/They only want the best wishes for me

w. a. m. s.: LL!Mumbo

I'm a young one stuck in the thoughts/Of an old one's head/When all the others were just stirrin' awake/I'm tryin' to trick myself to fall asleep again, whoa

20 Dollar Nose Bleed: Dogwarts

When I look at the man who would be king, the man who would be king/Goes to the desert, the same war his dad rehearsed/Came back with flags on coffins and said, "We won, oh, we won"/Permanent jet lag, please take me back (Please take me back)/Please take me back, (ooh, ooh)/I'm a stray dog sick, please let me in

West Coast Smoker: SL!Joel

Wishes bounce me weightless/The infrared scope on pointlessness/The bulls are sedated/And this fight's fixed

Pavlove: SL!Tango

Something make my chest stir/Something make my head blur/Oh, oh, I'm not ready for a handshake with death, no/Oh, oh, I'm just such a happy mess, whoa

SAVE ROCK AND ROLL

The Phoenix: Team TIES

Bring home the boys in scraps, scrap metal the tanks/Get hitched, make a career out of robbing banks/Because the world is just a teller and we are wearing black masks/"You broke our spirit," says the note we pass

My Songs Know What You Did In The Dark (Light Em Up): LL!Cleo

I've got the scars from tomorrow and I wish you could see/That you're the antidote to everything except for me/Through a constellation of tears on your lashes/Burn everything you love then burn the ashes

Alone Together: The Roomies (Cleo, Etho, and Grian)

I don't know where you're going/But do you got room for one more troubled soul?/I don't know where I'm going/But I don't think I'm coming home/And I said, "I'll check in tomorrow if I don't wake up dead"/This is the road to ruin and we're starting at the end

Where Did The Party Go: LL!Tango

I'm here to collect your hearts/It's the only reason that I sing/I don't believe a word you say/But I can't stop listening

Just One Yesterday: LL!Bdubs and Etho

If heaven's grief brings hell's rain/Then I'd trade all my tomorrows for just one yesterday/(I know I'm bad news)/For just one yesterday/(I saved it all for you)

The Mighty Fall: DL!Divorce Quartet

Your crooked love is just a pyramid scheme and I'm dizzy on dreams/(And I'm dizzy on dreams)/But if you ask me two's a whole lot lonelier than one/Baby, we should have left our love in the gutter where we found it/(Gutter where we found it)/'Cause you think, you think your only crime is that you got caught

Miss Missing You: Impulse and Bdubs (Impulse POV)

Baby, you were my picket fence, I miss missing you now and then/Chlorine kissed summer skin, I miss missing you now and then/Sometimes before it gets better, the darkness gets bigger/The person that you'd take a bullet for is behind the trigger/Oh, we're fading fast, I miss missing you now and then

Death Valley: This is the soundtrack to the LL Battle Royale Finale

We're going to die, it's just a matter of time/Hard times come, good times go/I'm either gone in an instant/Or here 'til the bitter end, I never know

Young Volcanoes: The Heart Foundation

C'mon, make it easy, say I never mattered/Run it up the flag pole/We will teach you how to make boys next door/Out of assholes (Hahaha!)/Tonight, the foxes hunt the hounds/It's all over now

Rat A Tat: LL!Grian and Mumbo (mostly Grian POV)

But I'll take your heart served up two ways/I sing a bitter song/I'm the lonelier version of you/I just don't know where it went wrong

Save Rock And Roll: DL!Pearl

I cried tears you'll never see/So fuck you, you can go cry me an ocean, and leave me be/You are what you love, not who loves you/In a world full of the word 'yes', I'm here to scream/No, no (No, no)/Wherever I go, go (go, go)/Trouble seems to follow

AMERICAN BEAUTY/AMERICAN PSYCHO

Irresistible: SL!Gem and Pearl (Gem POV)

Count me in unannounced, drag my nails on the tile/I just follow your scent/You can't just follow my smile/All of your flaws are aligned with this mood of mine/Cutting me to the bone/Nothing left to leave behind/You ought to keep me concealed just like I was a weapon/I didn't come for a fight but I will fight till the end/This might be your battle, might not turn out okay/You know you look so Seattle, but you feel so LA

American Beauty/American Psycho: LL!Scott

I think I fell in love again/Maybe I just took too much cough medicine/I'm the best worst thing that hasn't happened to you yet/The best worst thing/You take the full, full truth, then you pour some out/You take the full, full truth, then you pour some out/And you can kill me, kill me or let God sort ‘em out

Centuries: LimL!Martyn

And I can't stop 'til the whole world knows my name/Cause I was only born inside my dreams/Until you die for me, as long as there's a light, my shadow's over you/Cause I am the opposite of amnesia

The Kids Aren’t Alright: The Mounders

It twists my head just a bit to think/All those people in those old photographs I've seen are dead/And in the end/I'd do it all again/I think you're my best friend

Uma Thurman: 3L!Cleo

You'll find your way/And may death find you alive/Take me down the line/In Gem City, we turn the tide

Jet Pack Blues: Impulse and Bdubs

Honey, don't you leave/Don't you remember how we used to split a drink?/It never mattered what it was, I think/Our heads were just that close/The sweetness never lasts, you know

Novocaine: Guess what, it's Joel again. I'm not even a Joel main why is this happening.

In the truly gruesome do we trust/I will always land on you like a sucker punch/Singing I am your worst, I am your worst nightmare

Fourth Of July: LL!Lizzie and Cleo (Lizzie POV)

I said I'd never miss you/But I guess you never know/May the bridges I have burned/Light my way back home on the fourth of July/I wish I'd known how much you loved me/I wish I cared enough to know

Favorite Record: Post DL!Jimmy

You were the song stuck in my head/Every song that I've ever loved/Play it again and again and again/And you can get what you want but it's never enough

Immortals: 3L!Grian and Scar

I am the sand in the bottom half of the hourglass, glass (Glass)/(Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh)/Oh, I try to picture me without you, but I can’t/'Cause we could be immortals/Immortals/Just not for long, for long/And live with me forever now/Mmm, pull the blackout curtains down/Just not for long, for long

Twin Skeleton’s (Hotel In NYC): SL!Martyn and Jimmy

I just need enough of you to dull the pain/Just to get me through the night 'till we're twins again/'Til we're stripped down to our skeletons again/'Til we're saints just swimming in our sins again/And there's a jet black crow droning on and on and on/Up above our heads droning on and on and on/Keep making trouble 'til you find what you love/I need a new partner in crime and you, you shrug that

MANIA

Stay Frosty Royal Milk Tea: 3L!Ren

I'm 'bout to go Tonya Harding on the whole world's knee/And I'm stuck, night vision, so stuck, night vision/But I come to life, come to life/Some princes don't become kings/Even at the best of times, I'm out of my mind/You only get what you grieve

The Last Of The Real Ones: Bdubs

My head is stripped, just like a screw that's been tightened too many times/When I think of you, when I think of you/I will shield you from the waves if they find you/I will protect you, I will protect you/Just tell me, tell me, tell me I, I am the only one/Even if it's not true, even if it's not true, yeah

HOLD ME TIGHT OR DON’T: DL+LimL!Etho and Joel

I got too high again, realized I can't not be with you/Or be just your friend, I love you to death, but I just can't/I just can't pretend, we weren't lovers first/Confidants but never friends, were we ever friends?/But when your stitch comes loose, I wanna sleep on/Every piece of fuzz and stuffing that comes out of you/You, I took too many hits off this memory/I need to come down/An-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-nother day goes by/So hold me tight, hold me tight, or don't/Oh n-n-no, no, this isn't how our story ends

Wilson (Expensive Mistakes): LL!Bdubs

There's nothing more cruel than to be loved by everybody but you (but you)/Than to be loved by everybody but you, (but you) but you/If I could get my shit together/I'm gonna run away and never see any of you again/Never see any of you again/I hope the roof flies off and we get blown out into space/I-I always make such expensive mistakes

Church: SL!Lizzie

I love the world/But I just don't love the way it makes me feel/Got a few more fake friends/And it's getting hard to know what's real/And if death is the last appointment/Then we're all just sitting in the waiting room (Mr. Stump?)/I am just a human trying to avoid my certain doom

Heaven’s Gate: LimL!Skizz (right at the end)

I got dreams of my own, but I want to make yours come true/So please come through, honey please, please come through/Oh, go out in the world, start over again and again/As many times as you can

Champion: SL!Pearl

I got rage every day, on the inside/The only thing I do is sit around and kill the time/I'm trying to blow out the pilot light/I'm trying to blow out the light/I'm just young enough to still believe, still believe/But young enough not to know what to believe in/Young enough not to know what to believe/If I can live through this, if I can live through this/If I can live through this, I can do anything

Sunshine Riptide: LL!Scott

The world tried to burn all the mercy outta me/But you know I wouldn't let it/It tried to teach me the hard way, I can't forget it

Young And Menace: LimL!Martyn

We've gone way too fast for way too long/And we were never supposed to make it half this far/And I lived so much life, lived so much life/I think that God is gonna have to kill me twice

Bishops Knife Trick: Bad Boys

I got a feeling inside that I can't domesticate/It doesn't wanna live in a cage, a feeling that I can't housebreak/And I'm yours 'til the earth starts to crumble and the heavens roll/Away, I'm struggling to exist with you and without you, yeah

SO MUCH (FOR) STARDUST

Love From The Other Side: SL!Etho

I'd never go, I just want to be invited, oh, got to give up/Get the feeling, get the feeling, don't fight it, fight it/Sending my love from the other side of the apocalypse/And I just about snapped, don't look back/Every lover's got a little dagger in their hand

Heartbreak Feels So Good: 3L!Grian

Is there a word for bad miracle?/Nobody said the road was endless/Nobody said the climb was friendless/But could we please pretend this won't end?

Hold Me Like A Grudge: DL!Pearl

(You put the "fun" into dysfunction)/Hold me, hold me like a grudge/The world is always spinning, and I can't keep up, woah/Faster and faster, can't do it on my own/Part-time soulmate, full-time problem, yeah/So hold me like a grudge

Fake Out: SL!Lizzie

But I didn't take the love when I had the chance/But I swear I'm not sad anymore/So make no plans and none can be broken/No plans and none can be broken/Do you laugh about me whenever I leave?/Or do I still need more therapy?

Heaven, Iowa: 3L!Scar

And they don't know how much they’ll miss/At least until you're gone like this/Talking to the mirror, say, "Save your breath/Half your life you've been hooked on death"

So Good Right Now: DL!Bdubs

And I know, I know I've made mistakes, yeah/And I know, I know, but at least they were mine to make/They were mine to make/And all of our wildest dreams, they just end up with a-you and me/So, let's drive until the engine just gives out

The Pink Seashell: Ok, I cannot pull a lyric for this because it is the world’s most specific monologue, but the general message of it (“Life is a lottery and bad shit happens all the time, so might as well find happiness in the good things, even the small things.”) feels like it could be Skizz. Just trust me. This one is so fucking difficult.

I Am My Own Muse: LimL!Jimmy

Here I am, not sure you should take a chance/I like playin' dumb, lettin' you figure me out/But I was faded, in my own defense/So, drop a bomb on all the things we dreamed about

Flu Game: SL!Joel

Last night I dreamt I still knew you/You/I carved out a place in this world for two/But it's empty without you/I got all this love I've got to keep to myself/All this effort to make it look effortless

Baby Annihilation: Scott

The first time I took the mask off, just had another one on underneath

The Kintsugi Kid (Ten Years): LimL+ SL!Martyn (but mostly LimL)

Passed my old street, the house I grew up in/It breaks your heart, but four of the Ramones are dead/I felt you at the beginning, but needed you at the end/We're goin' low, low, low, low

What A Time To Be Alive: SL!Bigb

When, when, when I said, "Leave me alone", this isn't quite what I meant/I got the quarantine blues, bad news, what's left?/So, it seems the vulture's gettin' too full to fly, oh/What a time to be alive

So Much (For) Stardust: Ren

I'm in a winter mood, dreamin' of spring now/Burnin' myself down, burnin' myself down, burnin'/I feel like something that's been stretched out over and over again/Until I'm creased, and I'm about to break down the middle/Split me right down the middle, right, right down the middle, yeah

[louisisalarrie]

Louis didn’t write 2 of the 3 1D covers he’s singing so the argument that he wrote the songs therefore he’s proud to perform them falls through. Singing 1D songs is a given, but choosing to sing songs he didn’t write instead of his own songs that he has written (and are far better) is a weird choice and definitely suggests that he’s using 1D as a crutch. especially paired with his speeches implying he didn’t expect anyone to show up.

oooooo boy idk whether ur trying to antagonise me, but I’ll bite. I’m welcoming you to the show, but no backstage pass for you this time!

Out of the 1d covers Harry plays/has played, he wrote 3/4.

Out of the 1d covers Niall plays/has played, he wrote 3/5.

So the question begs to be asked… why doesn’t Harry play 3/4? IICF, Stockholm Syndrome, SOML… and then… why WMYB? That was 1d’s biggest hit! It was 13 years ago, get over it curly! Sureeeeely he doesn’t need to use that as a crutch right? Everyone knows that song, and he’s so famous! Why doesn’t he do Walking in the Wind? Or Olivia! He loves that song… right? Hmmm

And Niall? Fool’s Gold, SOML, Night Changes… not Drag Me Down, and Stockholm Syndrome!! They mean nothing to him and don’t show his talent because he didn’t write on them!!! Why doesn’t he do Don’t Forget Where You Belong? He has said how much that song means to him! Or maybe Never Enough? That would be fun!

So, clearly, both Niall and Louis love Drag Me Down. It could be because it topped the charts the second it was released and was a huge hit, which I’m sure might be a part of it, but it’s also a fun song. And they performed it over and over again on a world tour. And they were part of the band that released it. It’s not fucking rocket science, anon. Artist playing show = artist choosing songs they like.

I don’t fucking get why this is a debate. Yes, you could argue that it’s a little annoying that Louis has the most writing credits from 1d and chooses a couple of songs that he actually didn’t write on to perform. But like… I’m failing to see an issue here? What is ur exact problem with him not playing these covers, or do you just want him to remove himself entirely from 1d? The general population aren’t gonna connect louis to 1d if he sang something like Love You Goodbye or End of the Day. It would fail to actually do its job as a 1d cover. And in my opinion, it would be worse for him to perform a lesser known 1d song, rather than a huge hit.

I was in a band for like 6 years, and if I went on to perform in front of crowds again as a solo artist, I would 100% play a couple of songs out of our discography that I didn’t have a major hand in writing. Even in cities where we weren’t big and there was no reason to try and remind people of my previous band, I would do it because I love those songs and some of them mean a lot to me and some of them did well on radio and some of them are just fucking fun to play.

As for his speeches, idk how this directly correlates tbf lol. I’d argue that he had a really hard time solidifying his solo career, which many factors were outside of his control, and it’s emotional for him and still mind blowing that thousands upon thousands of people come out to see him like 8/9 years since 1d broke up. Niall cried on stage at MSG and always says how incredible it is that we support him and go and see him. And they would be in awe of the support because do you know how many bloody washed up nobody popstars have come out of bands that have broken up? Particularly extremely popular boybands? Where most of them don’t really make it AT ALL because either one of the members takes all the stardom (which was destiny for Harry because he was set up for it and there usually is always one they do set up for that), or just no one gives a fuck about them anymore?

The fact that 5/5 members still have a huge following and support and can continue to do what they love and tour - whether it be to stadiums or arenas - is huge. That doesn’t usually happen.

Louis doesnt name drop 1d every chance he’s getting. He’s not talking about them all the time, sharing 1d memories on socials etc., but it was a huge time in his life. It was 5 years and he was shot to the top immediately. It was huge for ALL of them. It’s a massive part of their career and point in their lives and it’s not just gonna be ignored?

I’ve seen artists, we all have, that have used their previous band fame as a crutch and it gives people the ick. It would annoy me, even though I’m an ot5 and was here for the entirety of 1d. But the reason it doesn’t annoy me is because he’s not saying it over and over again. He’s not rattling on about “the good old days” to get sympathy. I just… fucks sake.

Listen, I think a lot of these things people talk about when it comes to louis, subconsciously or not, come down to a comparison to Harry. Harry who has separated himself from the band so far due to having such a wider spread of fans and a team pushing for a solo career for him to “start fresh” since 2015. Harry who doesn’t follow any of the boys on Instagram and doesn’t like their posts or anything. Harry who has been incredibly successful on his own, almost immediately out of the gate with very little 1d reliance. Harry who has an entirely different team with an entirely different strategy and an entirely different image. Harry who famously posted a selfie in a 1d shirt. Harry who is currently off tour, and has been for like over a year, and completely MIA on socials, so he’s not giving us anything to talk about. These “fandom discussions” always happen when only one of them is on tour or there’s not much else going on. It’s so repetitive and frustrating.

Anyway, in an earlier post I talked about how the boys don’t owe us our dream setlist, and they can play whatever they wanna play. I’m not gonna link it, you can find it if you want to idc lol. And playing 1d covers is a great way to uphold a fan to artist relationship, it truly doesn’t matter which one of them wrote it. They play it, because we love it. And they wouldn’t play it if they didn’t love it and didn’t wanna be connected to 1d.

Christ, okay, I’m going to work and if anyone else comes into my inbox with things that you clearly already know I disagree with/have already talked about, I’m taking away your tickets and you will not get a full refund.

Anyway, thanks for the chat!

(Honourable mention to BSE, which both Niall and Harry have played (Harry’s wasn’t the whole song), which neither of them wrote on either.)

[himebushou]

Okay, I think this is happening -- I've been drawn in and I'm now rewatching The Prince of Tennis.

Thoughts on Episodes 2 through to 6 below.

Ep 2 - Samurai Junior

Inoue appears! This guy is so important for the audience as he explains so much tennis teminology to us (at Shiba's expense, whoops) but the fact that he works for a (presumably) well-known tennis magazine yet spends so much time covering the middle school scene is... odd. Like, he's there for the entirety of Seigaku's ranking tournament? What about the other Kanto schools?

HE TALKS ABOUT NANJIROU and says how Nanjirou 'might have even won the Grand Slam'. To my memory, Nanjiroh was one match away from becoming World No. 1 (is that possible without winning a slam?) but suddenly quit because, y'know. The boy.

Ryoma does this lil glower after the first time he meets Momo and it's so funny, lol

Ryoma's contrary nature is RIDICULOUS. Arai demands that the freshmen introduce themselves, which the Ichinen Trio do, but Ryoma? Just stands there. Like, CHILD. He asked for your name! these are not state secrets!

So of course, we have the whole thing with Arai trying to con the freshmen and Ryoma gets pretty mad about Arai trying to fleece the freshmen -- he gets pretty heroic (?) about the whole thing and, with it, very bratty: "If I hit the can 100x, do I get 100,000 yen?"

Then Momo is there and it really seems like he just wants to beat Ryoma up!

Rather adorably, Horio umpires the Ryoma v. Momo match. When Ryoma's about to serve, the Triple Counter OST starts playing (I really don't remember any of the titles from the OST -- except Yuugure -- but I'm sure everyone knows what I mean). It's very cool.

Tomo-chan sees Ryoma serve ONCE and calls him Ryoma-sama -- MY GIRL.

And then we get our first Nanjiroh appearance! And it turns out that he even has an umpire's chair at the temple, so? Who is umpiring his games against Ryoma? Nanako? RINKO??

Ryoma also tells the Ichinen Trio that he learnt to play tennis at a temple. Um. Ryoma is a big liar because he has only lived in front of said temple for about 5 minutes. What a DORK. In the best way!

(The temple is absolutely gorgeous by the way.)

Ep. 3 - The Seigaku Regulars Make Their Debut!

Man -- so we see Sakuno and Tomo-chan in one of the classrooms overlooking the courts and they comment on how cool the team is -- and then the camera pans up to Tezuka who's on the floor above, watching silently and I just enjoyed that so much. Like, at this stage, Tezuka is a bit of a mystery, so it's so fun!

Then Horio brags about how strong Momo is and Ryoma spends an eternity tying his shoelaces. Many moons ago (we're talking about 15 years ago, at least), I read this blog post about how much screentime is dedicated to Ryoma TYING HIS LACES and, honestly, I've never been able to get that post out of my head. Truly incredible stuff.

Guhhh I hate the obsession with heirarchy at Seigaku... Hyoutei and Rikkaidai are a heck of a lot more flexible, whoops.

Oishi! Beloved Oishi! Until he gets to the courts, the freshmen are just running around doing Tasks -- then Oishi arrives and tells them to practice playing because he wants them to get a good feel for the way things run at Seigaku. And it's so heart-warming! Oishi recognises that these kids are there because they want to have fun and he does these little things throughout the early eps to build camaraderie -- like when the freshmen are cheering for Seigaku in episode 8 or 9, Oishi teases, "Freshmen, we can't hear you!" and it's just... wow. Oishi's not there to pull rank: he's there to encourage the team. Tezuka honestly could not have had a better VC.

(I'm honestly just loving this so much... everyone's regarding Ryoma as this potential problem and sussing him out and being in this privileged position of knowing how much this team will grow to love him -- and how much he'll grow to love them -- is really special. It's really incredible to see this journey again.)

Arai behaves like a dork, gets scolded by Tezuka and told to run laps, questions this, and is then told to run more laps. Ryoma just dutifully runs his laps without any argument (the slight contradictions in his personality are so funny -- like he will sometimes rail against authority and, at other times, just accept it without question).

Come to think of it... Ryoma and Gon Freeccs get pretty similar treatment, I think, in that we don't get a look-in at their literal thoughts? Compare that to how often we're in Killua's head, for example, or Inui's or Oishi's or whoever's and... it's a very interesting way of storytelling.

Eps 4 & 5 - The One Named Viper & Snake Shot

AND SO, THE RANKING TOURNAMENT IS UNDERWAY.

Man, there are so many girls watching the ranking tournament? The tennis club is so popular lol

WE SEE RINKO FOR THE FIRST TIME. Of course, her face isn't shown, but!! She's there!

Ryoma's match against Kaidoh is a lot of fun. Momo's on standby to provide commentary to the Ichinen Trio (and they correctly determine that he's so knowledgeable about Kaidoh's playstyle on account of having lost to Kaidoh, which is hilarious). Ryoma impresses everyone by pulling off his own version of the Snake Shot -- the Buggy Whip Shot! -- and phew, good stuff. There's a lot of technical tennis talk.

(I hate how Kaidoh hurts himself at the end of the match. Both Kaidoh and Sanada need to be seen by school counsellors or something.)

I love seeing Ryoma get squashed by the Ichinen Trio -- he looks slightly bewildered, haha.

Ep 6 - That Man, Echizen Nanjirou

OOFT, probably my favourite episode so far! Nanjirou has become my second favourite in The Prince of Tennis (no prizes for guessing my favourite) and this episode is wonderful.

Inoue barges over to the Echizen house and ends up playing a game with Nanjirou -- the stipulation is that Nanjirou will only answer Inoue's questions if Inoue manages to get a point past him. Despite this, Nanjirou ends up telling Inoue a lot: he explains that he quit his pro career because playing with the 'impudent' Ryoma is a heck of a lot more fun than playing his pros and geez, Nanjirou loves his son SO MUCH. Nanjirou also explains that Ryoma's tennis style is currently identical to his and, to go further, there are some things Ryoma has to achieve. We get to see some of Nanjirou's skill.

The only question Nanjirou doesn't answer is when Inoue suggests that Ryoma's being trained to go pro. Nanjirou's pretty dismissive of this idea (AND WE KNOW WHY! YAHOO!).

Ryoma has a conversation with Sakuno and says that he doesn't know when he started playing tennis -- it's been part of his life for as long as he can remember and he couldn't quite even if he wanted to because there's something he has to do. So, once again, this episode sets up one of the major themes/conflicts of The Prince of Tennis.

(It turns out that the temple is behind the Echizen's house! Nanako -- the sweetheart -- explains that the monk is currently on a retreat and that Nanjirou just made a court without permission. This is one interaction I desperately want more information on.)

So... yeah. I'm genuinely having a whale of a time.