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#because id be very happy as just friends but i don't think id say no to more?
tpwrtrmnky · 1 month
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Pills That Make You Hecking Green And Valid! :D
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[ID 1: A horrific imitation of pills that make you green comics with disturbingly smooth stick people with faces, of all things.
Panel 1: A grayscale stick person who would be just as valid as they are is talking to a doctor, saying: "Doctor! I wanna be hecking green!"
The doctor, with a huge smile on their face, responds: "That is so hecking valid! Here you go, take 1 mg of green pills a week!"
"Yay!"
Panel 2: The happy green person is talking to a big meanie, who is frowning.
Green: "I love being hecking green and valid!"
Meanie: "You are neither hecking, green nor valid!"
Green: "That is mean!"
Meanie, now reformed: "Oh no I'm sorry, my mind has been changed, you are valid!"
Panel 3: The green person is sad, because a lime green person and a moss green person are arguing!
Lime: "Grr! Pointless argument!"
Moss: "Grr!!"
Green: "Noo! Don't you see that all infighting is always pointless and silly? You are both valid!"
Lime: "Good point! The two of us will now make out sloppy style. Goodbye!"
End ID 1.]
[ID 2: The hecking valid adventures continue!
Panel 1: A sad orange person is talking to the green person! What will they do?
Orange: "I have accepted my fate as an orangecel desaturatoid."
Green: "Tee hee! I think whatever website you're getting these funny words from must be very cool! You should keep using it!"
Orange: "Thank you for validating my ongoing misery!"
Panel 2: Two green people are talking! The first one says: "I work in HR at the Heck Portal deciding which employees to unalive!" (Note: "heck" and "unalive" are censored.)
The other green person responds: "That is so valid! I am so happy they're inclusive at the heck portal!"
Panel 3: A tall purple person is talking to the green person!
Purple: "I'm interchromatic!"
Green: "Wow! That is such a valid label! Can I use it too?"
Purple: "Of course you can! Everyone can use every label always!"
Green: "Wow I am so glad you're not mean! Tall people scare me, it would be problematic if a tall person was mean!"
End ID 2.]
Stay tuned for more valid adventures with Green and friends! Yay!
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loverwebs · 2 years
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It's Supposed to be Fun, Turning 21
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Pairing: Peter Parker x Fem!Reader
Synopsis: Your boyfriend, Peter, doesn't make it to your birthday dinner. So you walk home alone, only to run into the friendly neighborhood Spider-Man.
Warnings: Slight angst & mentions of alcohol
Word count: 1,700
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A very tired Y/n stumbled over the bumpy sidewalk of New York, cursing under her breath whenever she nearly stepped in a puddle. Her purse was crossed along her body and a bottle of wine swung from her hand.
She made her way home quickly and in annoyance, not wanting to be out any longer than she had to. With that in mind, she took a shortcut through an alleyway.
"Ma'am, stop right there!" A voice behind her shouted. She hesitantly turned, about to blow the person off, before she saw the city's masked hero within a few feet's distance.
"Holy shit! Oh, fuck did I do something? If it's the wine— I'm legally allowed to own it! And I have my ID, so please don't arrest me. I'm not even drunk!” a startled Y/n shouted.
"No, no! It’s okay," The vigilante approached her.
"Oh, okay," She said, touching her heart and sighing in relief. "Sorry for getting all jumpy there. It’s been a long day."
"No, you're fine! I didn't mean to scare you. I was just gonna say, you really shouldn't be walking home by yourself. It's not exactly safe, especially at night," He explained through an overly deepened voice.
"I know it's not," Sighed the girl. "My friends tried to get me to walk home with them, but my place isn't that far. And I'm really not in the mood to talk to anyone."
She continued her path, glancing back at him to add a quick, "No offense."
"None taken," He replied through a jog, catching up to her. "Did you just happen to be carrying around a bottle of wine with you, though?" He softly laughed at her antics.
"Uhh, yeah, just tonight." She returned a weak one.
"What's the occasion?" He asked, though he already knew the answer.
"It's my birthday. I'm 21 now and I wanna have my first drink with my boyfriend. He couldn't make it to my party and the restaurant let me bring one home with me."
She smiled sadly, lifting the bottle up so he could see the written For the birthday girl, enjoy! that a waitress had signed in permanent marker.
Peter felt guilty hearing this. Not only because he didn't make it to her birthday, but because she still waited for him. Wanting to share the special moment— despite him having missed it entirely.
"Happy birthday, then." The masked boy spoke, voice cracking as he said it. "I hope you spent it well."
"It was... eh. But thank you."
"Why was it 'eh'?" He asked, holding his breath.
"It's just, I don't know." She shrugged, not wanting to get into it.
She pondered for a moment, then, "I'm not trying to be rude or like, ungrateful, but don't you have actual Spider-Man stuff to do?"
He shook his head, "Making sure you get home safely is just as important as any other mission to me... plus, I wanted to make sure you were okay."
"That's nice, but I wouldn't want you to stop helping someone who actually needs it because of me."
"It's fine," He waved a hand in dismissal. "Don't even worry about it. I was pretty much done for the night anyway."
All she did was nod, not entirely convinced, then he spoke again.
"Sooo.. your birthday," He started.
"Right, yeah. It was fine, I guess."
"How come?"
"You're already walking me home, the last thing I want is for you to be my therapist too." She joked.
"Well, maybe I could help cheer you up... I like to help people. It's what I do."
"My friends already tried.. and failed. What makes you think you can?"
"I'd try my luck," He suggested. "Or we could walk in awkward silence."
She laughed at that, to which he said, "So what's got you down?"
"Okay, I mean.. like I said, my boyfriend didn't show up at the restaurant, soo I kinda spent the whole night staring at the door in case he did."
"Oh." He mumbled. "Sounds like a shitty boyfriend," He whispered, a little more to himself.
"He isn't," She shook her head a few too many times.
"He's naturally late to things, yeah. And he can't always make it to stuff. But when he is there.. His presence makes everything so much better." She said truthfully.
Peter hummed in understanding, his heart feeling heavy at her defending words. Here he was in a Spider-Man suit, meanwhile she wore her best party outfit. Not even cursing at the boy for his absence.
He didn't deserve her, he thought.
"Did he at least call? You know, saying he couldn't make it?"
Silence filled the air momentarily, which was enough of an answer. Still, she said, "He usually does..."
"Yeah?" He swallowed the forming lump in his throat.
"He— he always lets me know if he can't. And he did wish me a Happy Birthday! It's just— he's— I don't know what's going on with him anymore." She gave a teary laugh.
"Sometimes, it just feels like he's gonna break up with me. I feel like he wants to do it, but he's waiting around for the perfect opportunity, y'know?" She quickly wiped her now forming tears. "Sorry, I sound really pathetic."
"What?! No. No... You don't." He paused. "You— you really think he's gonna break up with you?" He dreadfully asked.
"I don't know," She gave a weak shrug. "He's like, distant lately."
"Have you.. Have you tried talking to him about it?"
"I've tried, yeah." She chewed on her lip nervously, thinking of the many instances where he canceled at the last minute when she intended on speaking with him.
"Like just this week, I asked to meet up after his afternoon class because I wanted to know if something was wrong, but..." She trailed off, holding back more tears.
"He canceled," He finished her sentence, wincing at her confirming nod.
"Right, and it's like, what am I doing wrong?" She added helplessly.
"Nothing! You're not doing anything wrong," He said through an interior panic.
"Doesn't feel like it."
They continued walking as Peter thought of the correct words to say. She'd laid her thoughts right there at his feet and he didn't know what the right move was.
He gave a desperate sigh, then proceeded to say, "I don't think he wants to break up with you."
"Seriously? That's what you're gonna tell me? You don't know that—"
"Hear me out... It's just, you know. Maybe he has a lot going on and.." He started, feeling overwhelmed.
"And maybe he hasn't been able to really tell you everything he wants you to know because he's scared. Scared to lose you. Or scared that you're already slipping away from him." He rambled on.
She slowed down her pace, tilting her head at him as a sense of familiarity within his words settled in.
He wasn't faking his tone anymore, and she wasn't as in her head as she was when he first found her.
"But you're not doing anything wrong, okay, Y/n?" He continued, voice breaking as he stepped closer to her. "I can promise you that."
She looked around to make sure the streets were empty before abruptly stopping in her tracks, eyeing him, when it finally clicked for her. She inched closer to him, while her shaky fingers tentatively reached towards the bottom of his mask.
She did so slowly, making sure he had time to stop her if he wanted to.
"Wait," He put his hand over hers. "It's not really.. It's not safe to do that here."
She understood and immediately withdrew her hand, taking a few steps back.
"Do you trust me?" He walked towards her, carefully placing his hands on her hips. With a nod, she wrapped her arms around his neck.
Just like that, he aimed at a nearby building and shot a web, swinging with her in his arms. Her body tightly hugged him as they made their way to the rooftop of Peter's old apartment building. The same place they had their first date.
A sloppy "Happy Birthday" was webbed above the projector that was setup, along with blankets on an old couch that they’d made out on several times.. A few of her favorite drinks and snacks placed there as well. She noticed them as he gently put her down.
She once again turned to look at him, but his mask was already off.
"I'm sorry I missed your birthday, Princess."
"Oh, Peter," She frowned and went to cup his face. "Who did this to you?"
"It doesn't matter," He said softly, leaning into her hands.
"I'm so sorry I didn't tell you sooner. I really wanted to... But I never knew when or how to do it. And tonight, I wanted to be there." His lips trembled.
"You have no idea how much I wanted to be there. But some guy had this really wonderful idea to rob a bank on your day, which caused a lockdown and eventually it led to a car pileup—"
She placed a kiss on his lips, shutting him up while holding onto the back of his neck in order to keep him close.
"I saw the news, Pete." She said once they parted and hugged him tightly, body shaking as she did so.
"Are you crying?" He asked through furrowed brows. "I'm so sorry I upset you, I—"
"I'm not upset with you. You don't have to apologize."
"You're not?"
"I mean, I was upset when I thought you were preparing some 'it's not you, it's me' speech on my birthday. And the thought of that hurts a lot more than knowing you kept this from me."
"I shouldn't have ever made you feel like we were gonna breakup, I'm sorry. I really didn't mean to give you that impression. You have every right to be upset at me for it." He hung his head low in shame.
"Thank you for owning up to it, but it's okay now, love. I'm okay now that you're here," She reassured him. "And I'm really glad you trusted me enough to share this with me."
"Of course I trust you. I had it all planned out.. We were supposed to go to dinner first and then come here. I was gonna explain everything up here, but things just got all messy, as always."
"I just said it's okay," She giggled, tracing the spider on his chest. "Besides, I can't complain when you look this good in your suit."
She smiled at his forming blush and messed up hair, then leaned in to kiss him once again.
"I love you," He whispered against her lips.
"I love you too, Spider-Man."
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quillpokebiology · 3 months
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Millcery and Alcreamie Body Language, Behaviours, and Culture
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I love Alcreamie a lot, and I find them very interesting. I genuinely have nothing else to say lol
Body Language & Behaviour
Swaying
I'm sure many Alcreamie trainers have noticed this cute little behavior they do. Alcreamie sway back and fourth for a couple of main reasons: the first one is to better ground themselves if their cream starts slipping, the second is because they are uneasy and checking their surroundingd, the third can actually be a sign that they are content, and the fourth can be a sign that they dont like somethin. It can be difficult to tell the reason why your Alcreamie is swaying, so it's best to look at their expression to check. For example: the yellow Alcreamie is swaying while turning to her side and putting a hand over her mouth, showing that she feels curious about this place and is checking her surroundings.
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This Alcreamie is grossed and displeased about something (I showed her broccoli and she no likey 😔)
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Spinning
The behaviour that Milcery is most known for. Milcery spin to show that they are very happy and excited. They will often grab something to spin with them, be that a strawberry sweet or a piece of lint they found on the floor. Alcreamie spin too, but Milcery do it a lot more often.
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Shaking
A behaviour seen in Milcery, and basically their version of swaying. The shaking is more similar to jiggling, and Milcery do this when their happy or trying to get your attention.
Goop
When Alcreamie feel scared, they will melt into goop. It's not as goopy as you may think, like with ditto, it's more clumping and doesn't go all the way. Think of it like how Dewgong l shrink into themselves. That's the best way I can describe it.
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Sweating
Believe it or not, milcer and alcreamie sweat, just like us! Though, it looks a little different. Instead of water, the sweat is the color of their cream and is thicker, which can leave piles of wet cream under them. No, there is a 95% chance your milcery/alcreamie is fine. This is a completely normal behaviour, thought I suggest taking them out of the hot whether or seeing what their stressor is.
Deflating
When sad, bored, or embarrassed, Milcery deflate.
"Jumping"
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A hopping motion that Alcreamie do when they want something.
Shaking
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Milcery shake when they're happy or trying to tell you something.
Raised Body
Alcreamie raise the cream on their body when they feel surprised or threatened. Think of it like how a meowth arches its back when it's scared.
Courting
Alcreamie prefer to breed asexually, so they don't have many courting behaviours. But when they do find a mate, they'll do things like make them cream, hold their hand (if their partner has a hand), hug them, kiss them, etc. Milcery court similarity, but just don't make their partners cream because they are unable to.
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Cream Making
I mentioned that Alcreamie will make cream for their mates, but they also make cream for their groups to reestablish bonds. This extends to their trainers as well. With their trainers, Alcreamie will give them cream they make to get closer to them or to reestablish already made bonds.
Tapping and Slapping
When Milcery/Alcreamie want to be left alone, like when they're being petted when they don't want to, they'll gently tap your hand. If you don't stop petting them, they'll end up giving quick soft slaps to your hand. Pokemon like Meowth and Purloin do this as well.
Zoomies
Milcery get the Zoomies. Alcreamie don't bcuz they're too slow, lol. They get the zoomies when they can't contain the excitement.
Kissing
Milcery/Alcreamie kiss anyone they like to show affection, be that their friends, family, mates, or trainers, most often on the cheek. It feels weird at first (you get frosting in your face), but you get used to it.
Decorating
Alcreamie decorate everything. Decorating id when Alcreamie (specifically Alcreamie, not usually done by Milcery), is when Alcreamie find an object they like, so they make different designs on it using their cream or other items they find. In the wild, they decorate their homes with flowers or their cream (which can bring unwanted bugs), but on the house, this can translate to them decorating their pokeball or their toys. I recommend getting them stickers.
Kneading
You know, like makin biscuits? Alcreamie do s kneading motion on the spot they are trying to get comfortable.
Culture
Groups
In the wild, milcery and alcreamie live in groups with other members of their kind, and this behavoiur extends to captivity as well. If you have a milcery or alcreamie, ir suggest trying to find other trainers with milcery/alcreamie and setting up play dates with them, because they can get lonely without it. Moving on, these groups can range from 10 to 30, with the largest Alcreamie group in recorded history being a group of Alcreamie with 250 members in 1951, Wyndon, Galar. While they prefer Alcreamie, they have been know to except other pokemon into their groups (one time at the center there was a group of 6 Alcreamie who were all in a polygamous relationship, and one male Roselia that decided to join them in their poly. I think about them a lot). A group of Alcreamie can be called a Creamery.
Raising
In milcery/alcreamie groups, they take the "it takes a village to raise a kid" to heart, with the entire group raising them. The mother Alcreamie will provide the young milcery with milk (fun fact: Alcreamie are one of the few non mammalian pokemon that can produce milk), while the other milcery/alcreamie will do the rest; like providing shelter and babysitting.
Naming
Naming is common in pokemon that live in groups. Alcreamie do name themselves and their young, which is just a variable of sounds. It's pretty difficult to know if it means anything since they don't have a written language like Pawniard or Weavile.
Celebrating
Believe it or not, Alcreamie do have gatherings where they celebrate. What they celebrate varies widely. They celebrate for things like food, rain, fertility, or even because it might just be a sunny day. Some researchers believe that Alcreamie could have religious festivals, but there isn't much proof to confirm any of this, let alone if they even know what religion is. They celebrate by singing (it's cute as Hell), dancing, eating, and playing. Usually hold these celebrations in wide open spaces.
Cliques
Yes, Alcreamie groups have cliques, and they work just how you'd expect. Younger Milcery tend to gravitate towards each other, elderly Alcreamie like to have close friends their age, and Alcreamie like to form close friendships with Milcery/Alcreamie with similar interests. It might not seem like much, but this shows that Alcreamie have social learning skills and social cognitive skills as well, which is something to note.
Evolution Parties
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This falls into the celebration category, but I'm putting it here because this is going in the order I remember. Unlike a lot of other pokemon who evolve with items (like Raichu or Scizor), Milcery and Alcreamie make finding sweets a big event. When Milcery come of age, a bunch if Alcreamie will gather as many sweets (as in things like strawberry sweets, blueberry streets, clover sweets, etc), take them back to their camp, and lay them out in big organized piles for the Milcery to choose which one they want to evolve with. For Alcreamie, this is seen as a coming of age for growing Milcery who are about to become Alcreamie, a d they celebrate by playing games, eating a lot of food, and friendly battles to test out their newly found strength.
Weddings
You read that right. Alcreamie have weddings. If Alcreamie do matr, many of them are polygamous, so the wedding can be between 2-6 pokemon (sometimes more). Alcreamie's weddings are celebrated when an Alcreamie and its partner (since their partner isn't always an Alcreamie) will celebrate with their friends and decorate different foods they have gathered. It's not as big of a celebration as human weddings, but it's something.
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Hello there!! It’s 🦐 anon back at it again and I have another request if that’s okay.
I don’t know what character limit is the max, but could I have some headcanons for when Jeff, Toby and ben have a crush obsession on someone (reader) , but they discover they’re already dating someone else? What would they do? (Seperately)
If you can’t do 3, only doing Jeff and ben is fine! Just thought of this idea and you’re one of my favourite writers that’s active in here, so I came to you!! Have fun if you end up writing this. Have a lovely day.
-🦐
It's always ok to ask for stuff! And don't worry about character limit because i think the absolute most id be willing to do is maybe 10 per ask
Also it makes me smile to see that im one of someone's favorite writers 💞💞
Tw: stalking and obsessive behavior
Thank you so much for requesting!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Jeff
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Jeff doesn't really like people all that much
And as we know, he is very self absorbed
So if he actually finds himself enjoying you, let alone loving you, he assumes that you should automatically love him as well
He spends every second he can watching you through your windows, learning your schedule, all of your favorite things, etc, etc
And eventually, he builds up enough courage to sneak into your house while you are away
He smells your clothes, cherishing the heavenly scent
He steals one of your t-shirts and steals your toothbrush (definetly not to brush his own teeth with)
He snags your perfume/cologne as well, so that he can always smell like you
And with all of his treasures in his pockets, he sneaks back out
He continues this cycle for weeks until one day, you bring someone else home with you
"One of their friends" he tells himself, jealousy already boiling in his heart
But when he sees you look up at them with your gorgeous eyes, and sees you kiss them, he snaps
He is seeing red as he breaks through the window, killing your partner in cold blood
He feels betrayed, how could you do something like this to him?
He ends up knocking you out, and bringing you back to his home, where he ties you to his bed and waits for you to wake up
Because you have got some major explaining to do...
Toby
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Toby finds himself feeling like a lost puppy around you
He loves you, oh lord he loves you
But he can't have you know that yet
If you were to see him, see the things he's done, that'd scare you off for sure
And so he watches you from afar
He watches you when you go to work, he watches you as you head home, he sits closely by you when you're at a resteraunt
He doesn't ever allow himself to break into your home (unlike SOMEONE on this list 😒)
But if you ever drop something, say, a piece of trash, or maybe something falls out of your pocket, he swarms all over that
He has a special little drawer in his nightstand full of all of the things he's collected from you
But lately, he's been noticing a...shift...in your schedule
Meeting the same person over and over again, until one day, his worst fears are confirmed
As you make your plans with them, you share a sweet kiss and walk away, holding hands as you do so
This breaks him
He can feel his heart aching, as he knows that he's lost you
He blames it on himself "if I had just talked to them sooner"
He can't bring himself to hurt them, though
And, they can't be all that bad if they make you happy
And so, he allows this person to keep dating you, continuing to stalk you from the shadows, waiting for the day that you leave them, and his chance will be presented again
BEN
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Ben has a....knack, for finding people
It's almost like scrolling through the front page of social media to him
Scrolling past an endless sea of countless faces, watching videos, playing games, streaming, etc
But one day, he found you
Your gorgeous face entranced him almost immediately
And by the end of the first five minutes of just staring at you, he knew that he needed you
He comes back to you, day after day, saving all that you watch in his own personal playlist
If you like video games, he will know, and he will send you all of the games you could ever want
You don't know where they're coming from, but you aren't complaining
He occassionally peers through your electronics cameras, and just watches you sleep
You look so nice and cozy, he wishes he could be there with you, holding you, keeping you safe
And one day, he notices a new person coming into the picture
A....romantic interest of yours
He can't have that.
And so he hacks them. He leaks their adress, he posts life ruining things on their socials, even going as far as to make them think that you are doing these things, making them hate you and putting more and more strain on your relationship
Eventually, you break up, unknowing that BEN was behind it all
And he's been sending you love messages along the way
Little gifts he knows youd like too
And now he can make himself known to you, as an angel, a savior, rather than the monster that had ruined your relationship with your partner
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I'm ✨️completely fucking exhausted✨️ but decided I needed to do something for pride month anyway, so... take it. Take it and feast.
#:,) #im.so tired
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🐍 xviper-the-fagx
HAPPY PRIDE MOON!
WAAHOOOOOO!!!!
#pride #pride moon
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🪺 robbbinpaw Follow
Since it's that time of year (pride moon <3 the second moon of greenleaf is my favorite for a reason...) my brother and I decided to make a bisexual colors flower chain... which reminded me, I've never officially come out, have I?
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Well, there you have it. My brother (left) and I (right) found out we were bisexual at about the same time. I'm glad I live in a safe environment where I get to share that part of myself with all of my friends and my family.
#pride #pride moon #bisexual #queer #bi pride
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🌠 nightshade-tast3s-yummy Follow
>:3 so excited for pride moon, aka the one time I get to make all of my friends and family be extra nice to me because i'm intersex and therefore deserving of much love and appreciation for being queer.
🦋 lalala-bluegaze Follow
Intersex isn't lgbt... intersex is a physical deformity. I hate when cats say things like this and just completely ignore the real implications... like, you don't get to be lgbt just because your body is fucked up
🌠 nightshade-tast3s-yummy Follow
Anyway, intersex is queer no matter what exclusionists say !! What do you think the "i" in "lgbtqia+" standa for?
To my intersex followers, I <3 you and we are all sharing tongues in a queer little circle.
#i just blocked her fyi #i advise my followers to do the same #idiots get blocked #intersex
3,073 notes
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🌻 l1llyst3m Follow
In honor of pride, I took some selfies with the trans flag painted on with crushed flowers and herbs! ^^
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🌻 l1llyst3m Follow
Since posting this, I have recieved multiple asks stating that they would have known I was trans even if I didn't say because I don't pass very well/my face shape is too tom-like? I have also recieved several asks accusing me of faking being trans because I look too feminine and "calicos can't be amab" (I'm a chimera, fucking mouse-brains).
So yeah. Transphobes really will just say anything.
#trans #transfem #trans she-cat #trans issues #transgender
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🥬 rxttencatmint
So, it's pride moon... and I'm unable to be out to almost anyone irl except my mentor. And. It sucks. I hate not being able to be loud and proud like I feel like I'm supposed to be... but I'm looking forward to a time when I'll be able to. Someday.
#transgender #trans #pride moon #queer pride #pride
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🍲 ex-thunderclan-kipper Follow
My housefolk are setting up for pride moon... so here's a photo of my mate and I sitting underneath their decor :3
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#gay #gay pride #kittypet life #lgbt #queer pride #collar tw #collars #queer #id in alt text
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🔆 the-post-maker
Hope you enjoyed this post :)) likes/reblogs appreciated, and here's the discord server to talk about this world and the world within this world if you find it interesting enough.
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druid-for-hire · 2 months
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Another comic made for our school's annual comic anthology Static Fish, usually available for purchase at MoCCAFest NYC, for the Spring 2024 edition. (This was a bit of a toughie, because I made it in two weeks while traveling through Europe.) It's about fitting in, past selves and separate selves, and loving and being loved by those who you don't fit in with.
ID under the cut.
[Image ID: A seven-page digitally illustrated comic, titled "Beneath You Now Is Every Other You," by the artist "druid-for-hire." It begins with a snake, in a large black void, staring up at two giant golden eyes that show a window to an outside world. The snake notices the sound of sniffling and sobbing coming from far behind. Worried, it turns away from the eyes, slithering backwards into the darkness as the eyes close, moving past a line of shed skins that slowly become smaller and smaller. The snake finds a very small shed skin, who is alive, and sobbing.
"Hey, bud, you okay?" The snake asks. The shed wails even louder. "Okay, okay, I hear you," says the snake. "What's wrong?"
"You know what's wrong!" the shed shouts back. The snake says, "It would help me a lot if you could think it in words."
The shed throws itself on the floor in a tantrum, then is quiet. Then it says, "They called us too intense. When we were playing on the Wii."
The next page shows the shed talking alongside a drawing of a figure smiling in the foreground, in golden lighting, which fades into darkness over three faceless figures. They are all vague and impressionistic. The shed continues: "I mean, come on, it's a competitive game, right? And it was just our brother, our sister, and her fiance. I mean, I guess… you and I were just trying to have fun. We were having fun. We don't get to talk to them a lot." The snake says, "... We were kind of loud. And..."
The shed interrupts. "I know, I know I know I knowww, we're stupid and have no volume control and we don't get anything anybody's saying, and life is a nightmare of social cues and humiliating faux pas and we're not fucking unique, but… … This wasn't a problem with our friends. Or anybody at college. They were all like us. We spoke the same language, we had the same understanding. We didn't have to try to fit in, there wasn't a box, we were suave and confident and making friends was easy. Now we're back home, and…"
"And it's not the same," the snake says.
There is an illustration of the happy figure from before, half in golden light with cheerful people at their arm. The other half is in darkness. She is smiling in the light, but has no face in the dark. The shed continues speaking. "They don't get it. We're back in normal-people-land and we have to fit in. We forgot about the box. We came back and smashed the box because we forgot about it. And now everyone's mad because we broke their box."
"... I don't want to be weird," says the shed. "Yes you do," says the snake. "You do," says the shed. "No, so do you," says the snake. The shed says, "FINE. I want to be weird. But I want to be cool weird. And I think we are cool weird! But weird still isn't normal. And it's going to make our normal people siblings uncomfortable no matter what we do."
The shed puts its head down, despondent. There is a feeling of vastness and silence; the emptiness around them feels looming. "It just feels bad," it says. "Hiding from them."
The snake is silent for a moment. Then it moves forward, and coils around the shed. "We'll get the hang of it one of these days. You know they're willing to say this stuff because they love you, and they want you to know how to behave around people who don't understand and who don't love you. Better with them than with an employer, huh?"
"I guess," says the shed. The snake nudges it and says, "Hey." After a pause, the snake presses its nose to the shed's. "I love you."
The shed closes its eyes. Over an illustration of the figure in golden light, whose eyes are closed, it says, "I love you too." end id.]
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violetarks · 11 months
Text
track 30: i'd never do that
"fuck." y/n said, wiping her eyes as she turned from the crowd, walking off the stage as soon as the curtains closed. she just... couldn't stop crying. all because of some song...
"y/n..." armin said, standing at her side. he rubs her back and takes the bass from her. the crowd continues to cheer loudly, claps and chants emerging from behind the curtains. "it's okay. c'mon, let's get you—"
they were interrupted by jean standing up loudly from his seat, storming off the stage and towards their change rooms. everyone's eye fell on him, watching his forced steps as he walked passed them all and the stage crew. eren and mikasa follow after, armin and y/n walking off next.
it was only truly a week ago that they all found out about marco's death, and having to preform to avoid any more backlash. unhappy fans ruled their twitter pages due to the postponed shows, and though levi advised against returning, the five of them agreed to come back. it was work... and they couldn't stop.
although what porco said was true, it was also true that the fans had control over their jobs. they could only enjoy their work if they had those fans. and using their friend's death as an excuse was no option. they didn't want to use it, and the fans had no right to know.
it was a bump in the road, is all.
"we did well tonight." mikasa says, sitting beside y/n. she holds her hand tightly. "you two did very well."
"i fucked up the tempo in the first song, made it too fast." jean complains, laying on the other couch.
"and i forgot my part for the whole first verse and just didn't play." y/n added in, leaning her head back.
"nobody even noticed, we didn't." eren says, sitting on the armrest of jean's couch. that may have a been a tiny lie, he definitely noticed and the looks that armin and mikasa shared on stage showed so too. armin stands nearby, pouring water for everyone. eren ruffles jean's hair gently. "you two did great. don't question it."
the two become quiet, silently thinking to themselves of what to do now. they had two more shows, two more shows and they could go home. and rest, and think, and be better.
"y/n? your phone's been buzzing like crazy." armin says, looking down at your device.
"huh? it's probably twitter. pass it 'ere." you say, holding out your hand. armin passes you the phone as you stand up, grabbing tissues to wipe your face. armin takes your spot. lo and behold, you were right. "i'm gonna talk a walk, alright?"
"don't go too far, we're gonna' leave soon." eren says as you wave your hand and leave the room.
you walk through the backstage halls until you make it outside. it's a restricted area, so no fans were there. and since everyone else was packing up the stage, you were alone.
but you unlock your phone, seeing thousands of twitter notifications and a few texts from porco. you stop yourself when you feel relieved.
when did you start feeling relieved about porco? when did he start making you feel that way?
you couldn't deny that sense of happiness you felt when you saw his picture show up on screen, though. maybe you should answer him.
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track 29 | track list | track 31
anime: attack on titan (band! au)
character: porco galliard
summary: y/n, the bassist of the band 'paradís', finds herself in middle of a 'publicity stunt' with none other than a rival band's drummer. porco, the mentioned member of 'marley', doesn't care about her at all. but they can only ignore each other for so long.
status: ongoing
warnings: afab! reader, she/her pronouns used
taglist: @makimakimi @hanmascult @ally22042000 @rozewayne2005 @keithandlevi-ontheroof @qaahnarin @queen-flower @id-rather-be-an-outsider @onlylowercase @tonysttank @a-little-pebbl @hannahalanib1 @moonshineandclearskies @aqueerincrisis @tati-the-fangirl @cheesechopchive-blog
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6rookie-writer0110 · 11 months
Text
By your shadow
Tara Carpenter x Male Reader
Request: Could you do a tara carpenter x male reader, either scream 5 or 6, where reader is maybe a part of league of shadows and saves her from the killers, Tara knows very little about his past, both killer just looking at him in his gear, ‘and who might you be’, ‘death’ and ends up figthing Them, or something like that, either way, I love your stuff and you Can do whatever you want with this.
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Tara went to see sister Sam, but they got into an argument.
“Sam, stop” Tara sighed.
“I mean it, I don't trust him. We barely know him and you don't even know what city he is from. I don't think he is good enough for you” Sam said.
“He makes me happy and I care about him a lot,” Tara said.
“Open your eyes! I think you should break up with him” Sam said.
“I’m leaving!” Tara yelled.
Tara left and she took a cab to your place. You are happy to see her but you can tell she isn't happy.
“What happened?” You asked.
“I got into an argument with Sam again. She doesn't trust you and wants me to dump you” Tara said.
“An what do you want?” You asked.
“You make me happy, Y/n, and I mean it. I haven't been this happy in a long time” Tara said.
You wrapped your arms around and kissed her head. She is holding you tight and you hold her for a few seconds.
“Can I stay the night?” Tara asked.
“Yeah, you can. I wouldn't say no to you, babe” You said.
You and Tara start to smile at each other. She went to change her clothes and she is wearing your long sleeve shirt. Then you and Tara sit and start to make dinner together.
“Y/n, what city you used to live in?” Tara asked.
“I already told you, don't you remember?” You asked.
“No, I forgot,” Tara said.
You were about to say it, but your cell phone started to ring. Tara noticed it is an unknown number but you picked it up.
“Hello...” You said.
You are being told what is your next mission and where to meet. You hang up and don't say anything about it.
“Who was that?” Tara asked.
“It was a machine, said my Amazon account is closed but it's a lie,” You said.
You put the food on the table and she knows you are lying. But she doesn't ask any questions, now you and Tara start to eat dinner.
Much later, you and Tara went to sleep. But she couldn't sleep but you are sleeping, you have your arm around her body. She starts to think about what Sam said and thinks about what she knows about you. She doesn't know a lot about you and she doesn't know when is your birthday, she starts to think what kind of relationship she is in. She gently moved your arm away from her and slowly got out of bed. You didn't notice and you didn't wake up. She grabbed your cell phone and went to the bathroom, she locked the door.
She knows your password because one time she had to use it. She went through your texts, which weren't a lot. You have online friends that you send funny memes the only texts she saw the most, were between you and her. Then she went to phone call history, she noticed a lot of unknown phone numbers. But one phone number stood out and she called it and someone picked up...
“Thank you for calling, Ray’s butcher shop. What's your next kill?” She said.
She hangs up and she downloads a tracking app, and she hides the app with the other apps. You woke up and walked towards the bathroom and you try to open the door. She got scared and quickly hides the phone in her pocket, then she opened the door.
“Hey, babe,” Tara said.
“Sorry, I didn't know you were in the bathroom” You yawned.
“I’m done” Tara smiled.
She went back to the room and you went into the bathroom. She put the phone back on the nightstand, then she got her phone and took a picture of your state ID. You come back later, then she cuddles with you again.
----
Tara has been checking your locations on her phone. She is starting to feel bad about it and she doesn't want to tell Sam about it. She texted so that you can go to her house. Before you go, you went to pick up snacks for her.
But Ghostface starts to attack Tara. She tried running towards the door but Ghostface slashed her in the stomach. She tries calling the cops then she starts to run away to the kitchen. She is panicking and crying, then she grabbed the knife and starts to move slowly. But Ghostface jumped out of nowhere and grabbed her. Ghostface stabbed her in the stomach then they start to fight. Ghostface grabbed her by the hair, then pushed her to the floor. She tries to get away but Ghostface starts to hurt her again.
You arrived at the house and you hear her screaming. You see Ghostface and you tackle Ghostface and you start to punch the killer in the face. You hear the cops but you don't stop then Ghostface slashed your cheek and then pushed you away. The killer runs away but you run towards Tara.
“Babe, I'm here now. What happened?” You said.
You add pressure to her stomach, and you hold her tight.
“It was Ghostface!” Tara cried.
Sam arrived at the house and she thinks you hurt her sister. She punched you in the face then you moved away from Tara.
“You hurt my sister!” Sam yelled.
“It wasn't me!” You yelled.
She grabbed the knife and tries to stab you. But you dodge every attack, if she wasn't Tara’s sister then you would have fought back. The cops rushed inside and told you two to stop
“He attacked my sister!” Sam yelled.
“Not true! I just got here and it was Ghostface!” You said.
But they start to arrest you and they get help for Tara. Cop took you to the police station. You start to tell them what happened and Sam went with Tara to the hospital.
Hours Later... You went to the hospital to see your girlfriend. But Sam and her friends are there and Sam is glaring at you.
“I came to see her not you,” You said.
“You should leave, Y/n,” Sam said.
“Tara, how are you feeling?” You asked.
“You should leave, Y/n,” Tara said.
“What... Why?” You said.
“I don't trust you. I don't know anything about you at all. And I don't know when is your birthday” Tara said.
“Not this again. Tara, I told you is complicated” You said.
“Y/n, just leave!” Tara yelled.
Chad put his hand on your shoulder.
“She said to leave, Y/n” Chad said.
“Touch me again, I will snap your neck into two pieces,” You said.
“You won't do anything,” Chad said.
You pushed him then he pushed you back, and everyone stepped in before you or him started to fight.
“Just leave,” Tara said.
You leave the room and rushed home.
✬ ✬ ✬ ✯
You haven't spoken to Tara in a week. You tried calling and texting but she doesn't answer back. You have been training hard and you sharpen your blades. You asked an old friend for help then you search online for Ghostface killings etc. Your friend is a cop and he managed to get the files of Ghostface for you. You start to read everything and start to put everything together so far. But you wanted to call Tara but you didn't, you think she won't believe you.
Tara has been staying with Sam and Danny but Tara mostly stays in her room. But they do try to figure out who is Ghostface. Sam thinks it's you but Tara doesn't believe that. Chad tries to convince Tara not to get back to you, but she doesn't want to talk about it.
---
Ghostface started to chase Sam and Tara. But the killers managed to attack Tara and her friends, now they need to stop the two killers. Tara called you and she is hiding in the closet
“Tara?” You asked.
“Y/n, I need you. They are back. We thought it was one but it's two or three, I don't know but they are trying to kill us” Tara cried.
“Where are you?” You asked.
“Sam’s apartment. She lives by the old theater” Tara said.
“Listen to me, just go there with your sister. I will be there soon! Okay. I will protect you and Sam” You said.
“Okay!” Tara said.
You heard Tara scream and she dropped her cell phone. You put on your suit and then your mask, and you grabbed your blades. You knew where the old theater is and you didn't waste time getting there. Sam and Tara ran to the old theater, but the killers are steps ahead of them. Sam used her gun to shoot them but she kept missing.
Ghostface chased Tara and Sam toward the edge of the balcony. Then another killer appeared.
“You would be in the movie, Sam. We just couldn't let the franchise die” Ghostface said.
“But why?” Sam asked.
Ghostface takes off the mask and they are in shock.
“Richie!?” Tara yelled.
“They keep messing up the franchise and it bothered me so much! And we had to do something about it” Richie said.
“You attacked me at my house?” Tara asked.
“Yeah, I had to do it. I got so close to seeing you bleed out but your stupid boyfriend ruined the moment for me!” Richie yelled.
The other killer takes off the mask and it's Amber.
“You are in this too?!” Sam yelled.
“Yeah, he is right about the franchise. It was fun watching you blame the wrong person for this” Amber smirked.
You arrived and threw ninja stars at their legs, they are in pain.
“A third killer!?” Tara yelled.
“No. It's just us two” Amber said.
“Who the hell are you?” Richie asked.
“Death,” You said.
Richie run towards you and he tried to stab you. But you grabbed his hand and then punched him in the face. The girls watch you fight Richie then he tried to stab you in the face but again, you grabbed his hand and snapped it in two. Richie is screaming in pain. Amber used her shotgun and you run for cover. Sam kicked Richie in the face then you throw a dagger toward Amber, it got her in the chest. Then Tara ran towards Amber and pushed the dagger deep into her chest, she starts to bleed out.
“Die, bitch!” Tara said.
She takes out the dagger and starts to stab Amber multiple times. Amber dropped to the floor and bleeds out. Then Richie grabbed Tara and pressed the knife hard against her neck.
“Come out, now or she will die! Don't think about it, Sam because one step you make then I will kill her” Richie yelled.
You come out.
“Don’t hurt her” You said.
“Take off the mask, now!” Richie screamed.
You take off the mask.
“Y/n?” Tara said.
Then you felt a gun press your head and it's Wayne Bailey.
“Put your hands up,” Wayne said.
“Fine,” You said.
You slowly put your hands behind your head, you secretly take out the hidden blade from your left wrist. You slowly turned around
“You should have stayed away, Y/n. But you still have to die” Wayne said.
“Or you can turn yourself in,” You said.
“Funny guy,” Wayne said.
You turn slowly before he pulled the trigger, you sued the hidden blade to cut his forearm. He drops the gun and screams in pain then you stabbed him in the chest. He falls to the floor then you turned around and you glare at Richie.
“You ruined everything, Y/n” Richie yelled.
He stabbed Tara in the stomach and then pushed her over the rail. But she managed to grab the rail but Richie starts to run away. You run towards Tara and you grabbed her hand. But Sam went after Richie and she took your dagger.
“Don’t let go!” You said.
“I can't hold on any longer” Tara cries.
“I got you!” You said.
You use all your strength and you pulled her over the rail. You had pressure on the wound
“I will explain later, I promise,” You said.
“You better tell me the fucking truth, Y/n,” Tara said.
You nod then you put on the mask, then go help Sam. But she killed him and she aims the gun at you.
“Are you really going to do this?” You asked.
You and Sam hear the cops running in the building. They are yelling freeze, then you used smoke bombs to escape. Sam and the cops start to cough. Sam and Tara are taken to the hospital.
✬ ✬ ✬ ✯
Tara has been in the hospital for days, while she was there you didn't call or visit her. Only Sam and her friends went to see Tara. But she has been thinking about you and the relationship, she is feeling overwhelmed.
“Has he come to visit?” Sam asked.
“No. And he hasn't called or texted me” Tara said.
“What are you going to do?” Sam asked.
“I don't know. I know you want me to break up with him” Tara said.
“Yeah, I want you to date someone else. Right now, just focus on getting better” Sam said.
“Yeah,” Tara said.
----
Tara went to your place and you are happy to see her.
“I'm sorry, I haven't called or visited you at the hospital. I wasn't sure if you wanted to see me” You said.
“I get it. Y/n, but I need you to tell me the truth and I mean everything” Tara said.
“Okay. I lied about my past because it was complicated. Since I was two years old, I was thought to be an assassin. I never experienced normal birthdays or holidays or my mom taking me to buy ice cream. I would train from dawn until nighttime or I would be forced to train without sleep. My mom and my grandpa were the leaders of the cult. And when I got older I moved around and stayed away from them. I didn't tell you because I didn't want to lose you” You said.
You went to the room and you show the outfit. Then you take out the weapons and she is speechless.
“I'm in shock,” Tara said.
“There is a reason we haven't had sex,” You said.
“Why?” Tara asked.
You take off your shirt then your pants, now you just have on your briefs. You have many scars all over your body
“I didn't feel comfortable being naked, because of my scars,” You said.
“You got the scars from the training?” Tara asked
“Yes and some from fighting my enemies,” You said.
“You don't have many friends? When I went through your phone, I saw a number and it was a butcher shop but you called over ten times” Tara said.
“No, I don't have a lot of friends. I have some online friends and one in real life. I figured out, that you went through my phone. I saw the tracking app and I deleted it. Oh about that, to make money I hunt down bad guys and kill them for a fee” You said.
“You can't be fucking serious,” Tara said.
“I’m not lying about that. If you don't want to date me then it's fine and I will understand. I don't want you to feel like I'm forcing you to date me. When I met you, I knew you are the one for me. I'm sorry I lied” You said.
She walked towards you, gently put her hand on your cheek and you slightly bend down then she starts to kiss you. You don't stop her and you are kissing her back.
“You still can be my boyfriend” Tara smiled.
“Cool. Do you want to stay? Or we can go out to eat?” You said.
“Put your clothes back on. And your scars don't change my feelings how I feel about you, Y/n and I still think you are cute” Tara said.
You start to put your clothes back on. You and Tara go out to eat while walking to the restaurant you and Tara hold hands.
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Text
julius caesar but i've never watched it
...either the play or the actual man. I am not a time-travelling voyeur. Why does that give Doctor Who vibes? I haven't watched that either.
Anyway, happy Ides of March, tumblr. I am about as enthusiastic about the celebration as Neil Gaiman is, but here we are. Doing what I do worst, making a summary of things I have no authority to summarise... WAHOO LET'S GO. Whatever it is I know about the play:
Caesar was vibing sometime around the '40s. 0040s, not 1940s.
He has a wife named Calpurnia. A maggot wants to be her because and I quote 'no one ever listens to me either'.
She tells him not to go to some kind of coronation or speech or something on the Ides. He's like nah wifey 'sall gucci.
I regret saying that sentence. As did Caesar, because he went and got stabbed in 44. Spoiler alert.
People ship Mark Antony with Caesar but some ship Brutus and Caesar. *youtuber voice* Comment below with your favourite ship.
Don't do it I don't want to know. Anyway, he's also married to Cleopatra, who is killed by snake venom that may not have been snake venom or something.
Idk they were cute. They had a kid that ran away and Asterix and Obelix had to take care of him. Caesarian?
WAIT IS A C-SECTION CALLED A CAESARIAN BECAUSE YOU CUT IT OPEN AND CAESAR WAS STABBED? WHAT?
There is a soothsayer. He tries to soothwarn Caesar.
Caesar does not soothlisten. Caesar is a lil bitch.
On the Ides of March, Caesar goes up to the soothsayer who is lurking on the steps of the maybe-coronation place. He soothsays The Ides of March are come!
The soothsayer soothsighs and soothsays Aye, Caesar, but not gone.
The senators, otherwise known as the soothslayers, have been plotting for a while. Brutus is a very dear friend of Caesar. He thinks Caesar slays.
But the other senators convince him this is what's best for Rome. So he thinks Caesar should be slayed.
So now the soothslayers at the maybe-coronation gather around Caesar and start stabbing him. Et tu, Brute? and all that (though I remember something about that phrase not meaning the same thing as it does in popular context...).
The soothslayers are a bit extra. Like bro. One stab to the heart would have soothsufficed.
Anyway, Caesar is soothslayed like the soothsayer soothsaid.
There is a funeral thing. The People of Rome are cranky.
A maggot once said Moots, maggots, countrymen! and it lives rent-free in my head.
Anyway what Mark Antony actually says is a whole ass speech. FRIENDS, ROMANS, COUNTRYMEN, LEND ME YOUR EARS. I COME TO BURY CAESAR, NOT TO PRAISE HIM! THE EVIL THAT MEN DO LIVES AFTER THEM, THE GOOD IS INTERR'D WITH THEIR BONES (I THINK I HAVEN'T HEARD THE SPEECH IN A WHILE OK) SO LET IT BE WITH CAESAR.
So he gives the soothspeech and everyone is emotional. IF YOU HAVE TEARS, PREPARE TO SHED THEM NOW. Damn bro. It's like playing villain music just as the camera focuses on the villain.
Anyway then there is a lot of chaos and blah blah blah Mark Antony does some stuff Caesar's adoptive son Octavian does some stuff.
There's some bloke named Augustus who may or may not be Octavian (if he was sorry for the deadname Auggy my bad).
Brutus is killed? Or he kills Mark Antony? One of them die.
They were totally not fighting over who was a better lover to Caesar.
Roman Republic gone byebye as I say to Roxie. Roman Empire starts. The end.
Er.
That was a thing. I rather like summarising my homeboy Shakespeare haven't read him in a while and I only read his comedies. Maybe I should do more in honour of the Globe Theatre Maggots.
Happy Ides. Please don't soothslay me. I've been a good Maggot Prince to you, haven't I?
*runs just in soothcase*
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ryoshudoodles · 2 months
Note
What's your favorite Ryoshu ID? :>
Oooooh hard to say. Every single Ryoshu is my favourite Ryoshu. Let me make an ID tier list
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First. They are all S Tier. But allow me to explain my choices
Starting on Hold hands tier
Seven Ryoshu- She looks lovely, I just can't find a use for her in any of my teams so I haven't gotten as attached to her as I have to other IDs. I still love her tho. She's the coffee shop AU Ryoshu.
Warp Ryoshu- I use Warp shu a LOT. She was one of the first truly good IDs I got and has been carrying me ever since. I just don't find her as conceptually interesting as other IDs. She's simply a version of herself that is constantly free to give into her base instincts and violent tendencies.
I love you tier
Liu Ryoshu- It is no secret that I find Liu Ryoshu extremely sexy. And that is just one of the reasons why I like her. It's fun to imagine what kind of interactions she would have with the Ishmael and Rodya of that mirror world.
Yurodivy Ryoshu- The hottest things a woman can be is: deranged and a communist.
Chef Ryoshu- Chef Ryoshu is a really fun ID. Just like warp, it's an ID where she's even more enabled than base Ryoshu but I find the tone of it immensely comedic simply because of her complete inability to cook. I like to imagine that it takes a dozen tries before one pie eventually comes out right.
Sweet awful princess tier
Base Ryoshu- Base Ryoshu is the Ryoshu that made this all possible. I just adore her to bits in ways I can't explain. She's such a fun twist on the edgelord lonewolf starving artist gone mad archetypes all in one.
LCCB Ryoshu- I wrote a whole fanfic about this one. Naturally, I've grown attached to her to an unnatural degree, even if I don't actually use her that much in game. Besides being straight-up adorable, gun shu is very interesting under a narrative microscope. She's way more calm and obedient, and I think that is caused by her not being as close and personal with her art.
Kurokumo Ryoshu: She's the first Ryoshu ID I ever got. I used her for a long time because I was SO HAPPY that I finally had one ID of her. Again, very violent ID, but there's so much room to imagine what it would be like for the Gang of idiots to interact. Besides, her design is just gorgeous. I want more tattooed IDs for her.
Maid Ryoshu: This ID is really an outlier among all the others. It's Ryoshu's kindest self, but without losing what makes her Ryoshu. She's still scary, violent and strong, but it really shows that even she can be caring. Before TKT it was one of the few things we could point to to demonstrate that she wasn't just a one note character (since not everyone reads the source material). Also I made a really... really silly bet with one of my friends because of her and I don't know what I'm gonna do now.
Thanks for asking :D
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railingsofsorrow · 5 months
Text
Epilogue
[peter parker x reader]
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summary: harry finds your behaviour slightly suspicious & there's an evening spent between friends.
pairing: p.parker x f!reader; slightly harry osborn x f!reader; mj x felicia hardy.
w.c: 3.3K
warnings/content: jealousy; injuries (mentioned); protective harry osborn; language; migraines (mentioned); clumsy but committed peter parker (yes, he learnt from his mistakes. finally); discussion about the multiverse theory; angst but there's more fluff this time sadly; minor character's death (mentioned).
A/N: this fic has come to an end :( it was fun writing this. my first experience in writing a short spiderman fic, it was so hard to come up with a good ending and it probably still not perfect but I feel like it's a good enough one. I hope you like it too and that you'll come back to read more of my spiderman stuff, cause there will definitely be more! good reading, people <3
navi
masterpost
series masterlist
mcu masterlist
[1] [1.2] [2] [3] [4]
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“So they're just gone?”  
You turn your neck to glare at your friend. Ever since you mentioned your migraines to him one day and he saw one of your episodes once or twice — a little bit more than that — he hasn't stopped bugging you about it. He wanted you to go to the doctors to get checked out. Until, well. Until the migraines miraculously vanished. Your head never bothered you anymore and you're even sleeping better, given the lack of dark circles around your eyes.  
Harry wasn’t having it.  
First and foremost, he did not believe continuous migraines were cured just like that. Overnight. Because how come he saw you incapable of watching a lecture one day and you're perfectly fine on the other?  
Either you are popping some pills or someone magically healed you.  
He didn't like any of the options. 
He was still worried, okay? Harry cares. He may not be loud with it, but it's you, so he cares. And he cares a lot. You should know better than to just outright lie to him. 
“Yes. Why does it matter? I'm fine, shouldn't you be happy I'm no longer whining on your shoulder?” 
“You're not taking drugs, are you?” 
A surprised laugh echoed around the room and he almost felt his body melt at the sight of your curled up frame from how much you were laughing.  
“It amazes me,” you said between chuckles. “that you'd think I'd pull that off.” Not without him knowing, at least. You and Harry are side by side for almost the entire day.
“I don't doubt you.” 
“You're losing faith in me.” 
“I never had it.” He huffs out a laugh when you throw a pillow at his face, hitting him right on his nose. He fell on his bed with a groan, you moved his homework out of the way before he could mess it up by laying on top of it.  
“Just... tell me if it gets to that point again, okay? 
You look at him, contemplating something that he can't figure out. With the way you avoid his eyes as you answer, he knows you decided to say something else instead of that first thought. “I will. But it won't.” He found the conviction in your voice strange. You can't know if it will ever get that bad again. Just as the migraines miraculously left, they might come back.  
He didn’t question it further. 
You went back to your homework, sharing some insights on his as he does with yours. It didn’t last long until your phone started blaring beneath the pillow you're perched on, the sound being slightly muffled by the fabric.  
You feel Harry's teasing before he can sputter out a sentence.  
“Shut up.” You hissed, picking up the call without looking at the caller ID.  
“One Direction. Really?” 
“Hello.” You pointedly turn away from his smirky face. You have to take the phone away from your ear due to some loud police sirens that come from the line.  
“Hi, hello!” The distinctive voice of Peter Parker replies. Yelling. That was the only way you would be able to hear him anyway. “There's been a thing and I— Shit!”  
You concluded the phone is thrown away because his voice suddenly sounds very far. 
You offered Harry a lousy excuse to step out into the hallway, frowning at the other voices and the police sirens you could hear.  
“Peter, you—” 
“I'm back!” Again, you take the phone away from your ear with a sigh. “Sorry, I was— I was busy.” You gathered that fact by the way he sounded breathless.  
“Are you running?” 
“No!” The noise proceeded to quieten down and you raise an eyebrow at his blatant lie. “Sorry, was I loud? Feels like I was being loud. Sorry.” A door is closing and he's groaning at the end of the line. Instead of finding it funny, you start to get worried, picturing a dislocated shoulder or maybe a deep gash on his arm like last time.  
You and Peter made an agreement. When you agreed to be friends again — part of that starting over bullshit that was your idea — you and him worked on filling each other out on both of your lives. Just catching up as good friends do. Less than a month later you were patching up his wounds as if you never had stopped doing that in the first place. Sometimes, you'd even think you were back where you started as if it was all back to the start of your story in Queens. Midtown. Making plans with Ned and Peter for the weekends. Sitting with MJ at lunch as much as she claimed she hated company. . .
There was a pull at your chest every time you remembered it wasn't like this. You weren't back at that time. You couldn't go back. You only had the now and it had to be enough. It was enough.  
“Peter, are you hurt?” But you still felt the same agony whenever the idea of Peter being hurt came across your mind. An unsettling fear settling up in your core.  
“No.” he shuffled around, clearing his throat. His voice was back for you to hear it clearly. “I'm fine. Just a bank robbery downtown and I—” he paused to let out a heavy sigh. “I'm sorry I'm late, I'll be there in a second, okay?” 
You blink, confused. “What? Late for what, Peter?” 
“Hanging out?” He said followed by a tinge of uncertainty. “Uh, you said that after class—” 
Your brows shot up in recognition. “Oh! Yeah, that's—” Then you checked the time on your phone. You were supposed to meet after class to hang out around 5 p.m. It was still 3 in the afternoon. “Peter,” you held in a chuckle. “That's like, two hours away. You're not late.” 
There's silence on his end and you start laughing.  
“Oh,” he mumbled, letting out a breath of relief. “That's— That's good. I was thinking that I was like really really late and—”  
“You're good, webs.” You softly reassured him. Peter has been working really hard to make sure he doesn't mess up with you again. That included arriving early at places. “Are you at home?” 
“Yeah, I just got here.”  
“Mhm. And you're not hurt at all?” 
“Just a few scratches,” Peter answered with hesitancy. You smiled triumphantly. Not because you're happy he's hurt but because you knew you were right. “I'm fine, alright? You don't have to come.” 
“Okay.” You said, stepping back into your dorm room, catching Harry eying your frame from your bed curiously. “No broken limbs though, right?” 
Peter's scoff put a smile on your lips. “Have some faith in me. I can handle a robbery.”  
The joke Spiderman can handle a robbery but Peter Parker is still clumsy almost slips out but, thankfully, you remember you're not alone.  
“Sure. I'll see you later.” 
“Hey,” he called your name before you could hang up so you waited for him to speak. “Do you— are you going— how are you— I mean...” 
“Peter, breathe.” 
You didn’t notice Harry's eye-roll, too busy cracking up at Peter's stuttering mess.  
“Okay. Alright. Are you going by yourself? Cause I can pick you up and we can go, you know, so you don't have to go alone?” He clarified, a strain in his voice as if he's been choking up to say that.  
“Oh. Harry and I are going to head out together, actually. He's here.” 
You patiently waited for his response. “Of course. Yeah. Okay. I'll see you later then. You and— and Harry. And everyone else.” 
“Yeah.” You sat down on the bed, biting the inside of your cheek. A weird feeling of guilt in in your chest. “See you later, then. Bye.” 
You don't know why you feel guilty about turning him down. All of you would meet in the same place anyway so it's not like you weren't gonna see him, right? It's just a matter of logistics.  
“Was that your boyfriend?” 
You gave Harry a blank stare as you threw your phone to the side to go back to your assignment. One of his eyebrows arched up in defiance, he played your game of not looking away for a few minutes before you got sick of it.  
“I wonder if the reason you're bothered by Peter is because you secretly have a crush on him.” 
He looks away first and your lips spread into a satisfied smirk.  
“Parker's not my type.” Harry uttered, leaning over your lap to mark a question that you had gotten wrong. His curls tickling your chin. “And this is wrong. It's not fifteen, it's fifty.” He decided to add for good measure, stepping out of your personal space. “I'm not bothered by him.” 
You hummed quietly, erasing the previous calculation to redo the math.  
“Who is your type anyway?” You asked, trying to cut through the tension. Every time you mention Peter, Harry's mood shifted. He got too quiet. He just didn’t like him for some reason you couldn't yet figure out. Peter and he haven't met before, that much you know. You claim you'll be out of this, because it's none of your business, some people just don't like each other, it happens. But you're curious and if the opportunity to find out the X of the equation comes, you won't run from it. 
“You'll never know.” His mumble is so low that you wouldn't have heard it if you weren't sitting so close to each other. He steals the pen you were using, earning a frown from you. “I like this one better.” 
“Buy one for you then,” you complained, not moving to get the pen back from him. You take the one he was using instead, eager to finish the assignment so you can have the rest of the afternoon free with your friends. 
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ 
[Pete]: (Picture attached)  
[Pete]: Do you want this back? 
When you opened the text message, your breath hitched. The image Peter had sent you showed the red scarf, the one you never let go of. You hadn't seen it in a while, ever since... Ever since you paid him a visit that night. The night you were set on burning the scarf along with that collection of pictures you found in your room.  
You've been to Peter's place countless times after that, though. You wondered why he never mentioned anything.  
[You]: Keep it. 
You sighed, conflicted with that short answer. You weren't being rude, you didn't meant to be. But you didn't need the scarf anymore. Not when you have him back in your life. You realized the scarf represented everything the two of you lived and everything you didn't.  
You didn't want it back. You weren't ready. 
Not now, at least. You hoped he wouldn't be hurt by it. 
[You]: Maybe one day you can give it back to me.  
Satisfied with your reply, you slipped your phone into your pocket, standing up to help Harry carry five smoothies toward your table. Ned and MJ were on their way, as for Peter, you figured it was the same. His apartment wasn't that far from where you were.  
“I know a loser when I see one.”  
“Hello, MJ.” You greeted after taking the first sip of your smoothie. You offer her hers and she bumps your hip, sitting beside you in the booth as a greeting. “Where's Ned?” You asked, frowning now that you didn't see the boy arriving along with her. They were always together.  
She shrugged, leaning back. “He said he would be ten minutes late. He was gonna get Peter so they could go to this store nearby his place before coming here.”  
You didn't take long to acknowledge which store she was talking about. An eye roll later, you crack out a smile in amusement. 
“The Star Wars one?” 
She nodded and the three of you quickly entered a conversation about a movie that was airing on the local theatre. Ned and Peter arrived in the middle of your discussion, a few bags in their hands that earned your curiosity.  
“Did you buy the whole store?” You joked, the edge of your lips curling up as Peter sat down in front of you, placing two little bags on the corner of his seat.  
Peter raised an eyebrow at you, amusement all over his features. “Did I?” 
“Looks like it.” 
“Oh, this is—!” Ned exclaimed, taking a sip of his smoothie. Harry held back a laugh at the boy's blissed-out state. “You got it right.” He then pointed at Harry accusingly. “I love you.” 
Harry shrugged, “I know.”  
“The one time I got your order wrong—” MJ begins. 
“You never get the right one.” Ned deadpanned, interrupting MJ's speech. The girl kicked his chin under the table and Ned proceeded to kick hers back. Just before the childish fight could escalate, you pull both of their ears and hear whining asking you to stop.  
Peter and Harry were chucking and you have to backtrack because Harry wasn't glaring at Peter for the first time. Is this progress? 
After a mindless walk to the nearest park, all of you silently decided to stick around for a while longer, basking in what was left of the sunset and the hues of orange, pink and blue that mixed together to form the purple sky of the evening.  
You teased MJ at her inability to stop texting her girlfriend while in an evening among friends and she flipped you off immediately, blushing. She's been seeing Felicia Hardy for two months and from what you could see, it was becoming rather serious, even though MJ still cannot admit it. You know your best friend and her hidden smiles and secret joy because of a new person she's interested in. 
“No, no, no. You don't get it. It's like different universes in one— Actually, no. Multiple universes that are currently happening right now. You could be you, but you're, I don't know, a villain in this other universe, while here, you're just Harry.” 
Both of your and Peter's neck snapped as you turned towards the conversation between Harry and Ned.  
Harry carried a crease between his brows, confusion twisting the corner of his lips. 
“So I'm me... but different?” 
Ned nodded vehemently. He'd always get excited whenever the topic of multiverse was brought up.  
You, on the other hand, were tense and you did not have to look at Peter to know his reaction as well. 
“I'm sure in every reality you're an entitled filthy rich bastard the same way. Don't worry.” MJ’s comment was enough you breathe again. Peter’s awkward laugh at your side.
Harry rolls his eyes, “and I'm sure you're sarcastic and bitchy about anything and anyone, Jones.” 
You throw your head back to stare up at the sky. 
“Children.” You mocked. Peter attempted to hide his laugh but he was not successful. You found it endearing how his cheeks slowly turned pink. It reminded you of when you were kids, he'd turn into a tomato every time he tried to hold in his laugh. “Behave.” 
They initiated a bickering about she started it and he started it and Ned made a comment to side with Harry to add fire to the flames.  
Sometimes you thought they could remember and then reality crashed down the moment for what it truly was. It could be good and bad at the same time. Bittersweet might be the right term to name the feeling. Of course you miss everything that was, but what currently is is also good, in a way. You have your people, despite the losses, you have him back and it's all that you could ask for. 
“Peter.”  
He gives you a sheepish smile, looking down at his shoes as he buried his hand in his jacket.  
“Did you like it?” 
You close the small box carefully. “How could I not? It's beautiful. I loved it.” You said, then punched his shoulder playfully. He pretends it hurts, but you know it doesn't. “Don't spend that much money on me, Parker.” 
Peter shrugged, playing the nonchalant part. “I'll do what I want, actually.” 
“You're such an annoying little shit, aren't you?” 
He shrugged again, this time he's got a cocky grin and a little smug attitude you recognized from when he got an answer right and you got one wrong in an assignment. It's a glimpse of the carefree nature of Peter Parker. He's a little bit proud at times, but still clumsy around people, shy between strangers, and wears his heart on his sleeve for the people he truly cares about.  
“You love it.” 
“Help me,” you asked him when everyone stopped by the fountain on your way back to university. You had your back to him and he finally understood what he was supposed to do when he saw your fingers holding the two parts of the necklace behind your neck. He stepped forward, taking both parts from your hands and freezing once your fingers met. Your skin was cold. You shivered as he clasped the necklace, adjusting with a shaky sigh. His throat moved under his hard gulp. “Thank you.” You turned around with the little rose gold maple leaf pendant around your neck.  
Peter blinked at you in a daze. The streetlight illuminated your figure as you moved your hair away from your shoulders so it wasn't curling around the necklace anymore.  
You're beautiful. So beautiful.  
As soon as he saw the maple leaf pendant, you came into his mind. It reminded him of the Fall, your favorite season, which, of course, led him to you. Funny that everything, somehow, lead him to you. He doesn't know what his life would be if it didn't. Nothing would make much sense, honestly. Peter didn't know how the other Peter Parkers handled losing you in their universe. It was such a difficult thought for him to even consider. His initial goal was to protect you and if that meant he had to let you go, then so be it. He would do it. Because you deserved a life without the mess that was his life. You deserved peace and happiness. But that plan backfired when he saw you crossing the street to reach a coffee shop. It was 8pm in the evening and he was on patrol. He had stopped two robberies an hour before so he was getting ready to go home and throw himself into bed, give a rest to his alter ego for the night. Until you showed up, crossing the street so distracted that a car almost hit you. Peter pulled you back in time, a hand on your shoulder to steady you from the scare of the car horn. You had been crying and at the moment Peter's only thought was to comfort you and figure out who had made you feel that way.  
“Myself.” You laughed, tearfully. “Sorry. I wasn't paying attention.” 
He convinced himself that from that point on he had to watch over you, to simply make sure you wouldn't cross the street without looking both ways again, or trip mad and get a severe head injury. He'd watch you from afar, it couldn't do any harm. 
In reality, that was Peter's way of not letting you go and it had not been fair to either one of you. Especially you, who earned headaches and migraines and insomnia because of memories begging to come back, memories that shouldn't have been removed at all.  
Peter disappointed you. He disappointed himself too — and probably Aunt May, who must be shaking her head in disapproval wherever she was watching over him from. He's slowly making peace with himself after everything. He's finally seen that having you close by was better than the heartache of letting you go and trying foolishly to move on. He didn't want to move on from you and if that was selfish. . . that was fine. Peter was never anything besides selfless his entire life. And if you wanted to be in his life, why couldn't he want to be in yours?  
He would acknowledge the past and make the best out of the present. As for the future, well, he wasn't concerned, it would probably lead him to you. As always.  
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ultralightpoe · 7 months
Text
Vigilante Shit - Bucky Barnes
Authors Note: Never liked this one which is why it stayed in the drafts fr so long, it just always seemed empty. It's definitely missing something.
REQUESTS ARE OPEN
Word Count:9,131
Warnings: Cuss words, reader was once apart of the red room
Apart of my MIDNIGHTS EVENT.
Main Masterlist
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Enjoy!
Draw the cat eye, sharp enough to kill a man
You did some bad things, but I'm the worst of them
Sometimes I wonder which one will be your last lie
They say looks can kill and I might try
I don't dress for women
I don't dress for men
Lately I've been dressing for revenge
-
It’s the pity on her face that makes you want to claw her eyes out, or maybe the happy family photo sitting on her desk staring and taunting you with their stupid smiling faces. Each of her children smiled like nothing was wrong in the world, like they didn’t have to worry about earning their way or surviving the day.
Dr. Aquinos children would never know pain.  
But that was a given, they weren’t bought and sold off. They weren’t tortured and abused for years only to be torn out when Natasha fucking Romanoff decides to free everyone from that chain and force them into the real world. 
Did it make you pathetic to say you missed it? 
In the red room you had a cot, a meal at least once a day and training. Out here you were no one. No trace of you existed. No ids, or photos, no friends or family. You were nothing. 
Even ghosts had more than you at this point. 
“You know it’s common to feel this way about it? That longing to have it back? It’s the pain and the change, you feel like you have nothing right now but I can assure you that’s not true.” 
You say nothing. 
“Have you given any thought to our last session?” The therapist asks, voice saccharine amount of sweet that tells you she knows your looking for a fight today and she won’t be giving into it. You hated that she knew you would try that, you hated these sessions all together. 
“Yes.” Lie. And judging by the quirk in her smile she knows it too. 
“I think it’s extremely important for you in this next step, to get rid of the suit. What was it they called you?” You don’t reply for a minute, your own little form of rebellion, but she doesn’t let you get away with it for long. “The…. Cobra?” 
“The. Viper.” You bite out, grinding your teeth together and fisting your hands at your side. “The Red Viper to be exact.” 
“Can you explain to me why it is you got that name? I mean your other counter parts all follow a …..widow theme….. but you don’t?” 
“It just….. happened that way.” You lie. “How much longer do we have?” 
Why did she not have a clock?
“Ah. So the story has something to do with Bucky Barnes.” She smiles and you fight back the sneer. 
“Nope.” 
“You always ask for the time when memories of him are brought up.” 
Not. True. You don’t bother arguing because that might prove her point. 
“Can you recall what he looked like?” 
A flash of ice blue crosses your mind, his eyes. Followed by roses and ballet slippers. A small opening to freedom right there in your grasp, his smiling face….. replaced by that of betrayal, the pain and torture you suffered for weeks after because he-
“No.” You lie. “I only knew him as the winter soldier.”
“Have you tried reaching out?” 
“No. And I never will.” Not until you were able to kill him, get your revenge. 
Your therapist didn’t know about your revenge list though,she would have you imprisoned for it. The list of names of every mastermind and agent that did you wrong, and at the very end of the list was the one person you actually managed to trick you, the one person you gave everything you had left to. 
Bucky Barnes would be the last person you killed in this life, and you would make sure to enjoy every second of it.  
-
It’s not everyday they pull you from your training program and load you into a transportation vehicle, and you don’t know whether to be scared or excited by the change in routine. 
You decide on excitement, because a widow is never. Ever. Scared. 
The keepers transporting you all avoid eye contact and you bite back the smirk, knowing that you installed that fear when you bit the thumb off the last guard that tried to touch you inappropriately. You might be hydras toy but you were not a plaything for these half wits. 
“Your mission will be in direct partnership with the Winter Soldat.” The agent in front of you explains, watching you load up your widow uniform with hidden weapons “there’s a list of names that needs to be taken care of, and it might take a minute so they are pairing you both. They want no mistakes, only the best.” 
“No traces no trails. No chances.” You answer, already having it memorized, biting down on your tongue when you remember the poor girl you left as a witness to your last mission. 
Hydra never found out, but her scared scream when she caught you killing her father will haunt you. 
You wondered if you might have had someone to scream over at one point. 
“He won’t speak to you so don’t bother.” The agent grunts as the vehicle comes to a stop and he slams his fist on the side to let them know it’s safe to open the doors. 
They all cast you another look as you try not to roll your eyes at the drama. If you truly wanted out of this vehicle you could slaughter them all, you just knew that hydra would track you down no matter what so what was the point?
They lead you down hundreds of gray halls, each getting darker than the last and the smell of mold and desperation heightened with each step. Finally at the very last cell door they all raise their weapons and slide it open, muttering something in Russian before a figure emerges. 
The glint of his arm catches on the shit light above you first, and then he is there, glowering and confused in the same go. 
“Soldat. This is the widow.” His mentor speaks in Russian, gesturing to you which makes the soldier give you one look. That’s it. One brief look of disdain and he goes back to looking at the mentor like you weren’t even there. 
This mission is going to go well. 
-
“You’re making progress Bucky.” Dr. Raynor hums, her eyes glinting as she watches him over the pad of paper she hasn’t scribbled on in the past hour. He likes to think that it’s a good sign, but he also tries not to get into his own head about it. “But I’d like to go a little deeper if you’ll let me.” 
“Don’t really have a choice doc.” He mutters, but his tone lacks the usual bite. 
“Funny. Have you slept in a bed recently?” 
“I’ve made it to at least 3 hours of sleep in my bed.” He nods, not mentioning he thought the laundry detergent smelled like your shampoo. 
“You bought any home decorations? Anything at all?” 
“There’s a welcome mat by the front door.” 
“Inside or outside?” 
“…..inside.” He wasn’t brave enough to put it out in the hall yet. 
“I just want a house that has a welcome mat and that cookie smell. Something to call home.” Those were your words, whispered to him the night before the soldier….. 
“Tell me what you have been up to lately.” 
“Lunches with Yori….missions with Sam…. And I’ve been…. Trying to find someone.” 
“Someone from your time as the soldier?” 
“Yes.” His throat is tight and he might throw up. 
“For revenge?” 
“No…. Well she might want revenge…… I just want her.” He admits. 
Dr. Raynors eyebrows shoot up, and she tries to keep neutral as she asks the next question. “The viper then?” 
“She didn’t like that name.” 
“How did she get it?” 
“Me.” 
“And what did you call her if she didn’t like the name?” 
“Flower.”
I don't start it but I can tell you how it ends
Don't get sad, get even
So on the weekends
I don't dress for friends
Lately I've been dressing for revenge
The roof of the bagel shop on the stupid block you were on was probably the worst spot to be. 
Best, if you’re focusing on the fact that it’s the perfect hideout for the sniper gun you are aiming and the fact that you’re able to lay at a slant so your legs don’t falls asleep while you focus. 
Terrible for the fact that you could smell the pizza shop next door perfectly, and your stomach was beginning to rumble in hunger. 
But you had to focus, your target was supposed to be in his apartment right now, Viktor Aubrel, the man that sold you in the first place. 
Your intel told you he should have been home an hour ago and yet you were still waiting in the winter air that sent a shiver up your spine, too focused on the aim to realize the two figures now on the roof. 
“Are the widows that oblivious now?” A deep voice laughs causing you to whirl, knife out as you spot none other than the winter soldier and the new captain america, both watching you. 
It was the captain that taunted you, a sneer making its way into your lips as you prepare yourself to launch. The winter soldier extends a hand out, blocking the captain with a skeptical look. 
“Sam. A little forewarning, she doesn’t fight like the others.” He mumbles and you all but hiss, not giving either of them a moment before you’re launching at them. 
They track your movements well, both standing to fight as you run across the roof, jumping up on the ledge to give you the upper advantage and launch yourself at them. Starting with the easier target, the man with the shield. Wrapping your arms around his neck and spinning your body until you have his weight thrown in the air. He manages to catch himself standing but you’re ahead of the game, jumping so your feet are planted on his chest and shoving him off the roof right as the winter soldier gets to you.  
“I don’t want to do this.” He mutters and you hiss again, lunging with a knife out, slashing expertly over and over as he dodges as much as he can. “You don’t need to do this.” 
The knife catches in the elbow of his metal arm and his flesh hand comes up to grab your wrist so you twist, kicking his knee down and flick another knife from your uniform. 
“I want to.” You mutter in Russian, voice dripping with disdain as you raise the knife and bring it down. Only to get blasted across the roof. 
The air leaves your lungs as you skid across the concrete of the roof, splayed out staring at the sky and blinking away the pain. 
“She’s quicker than the rest.” Captain America huffs, helping the soldier up. 
“A lethal experiment. Taking a trained widow and injecting her with mutated blood of some guy named Logan Howlett.”
“Where does the viper come from?” 
“Her knives are all laced with venom and poisons. One touch to your skin and it doesn’t matter if it was a fatal wound or not. You’re out.” You hear them both approach, pretending to be passed out before they get close enough and you can kick the soldier in the stomach. He catches your foot, twisting so your body would have to twist with it or break, but you’re already pulling out a knife and launching it at the other. 
A shout of warning leaves the soldier's lips as the knife nearly gets his partner's thigh, you take this weakness and twist until you are wrapped around him and launching you both across the roof. But he is already working his way out, twisting so you slam into the roof once more, his metal arm on your throat holding you down as you claw at it. 
Panic attacks your body, scratching at the metal as the captain comes into view. 
“Stop. We can help you.” The man sighs. 
“Y/n.” The soldier mumbles, eyes pleading. “Let us help-“ 
Your foot bends to smash into his jaw and send him sprawling back. 
“That’s. Not. My. Name.” Your voice is scratchy from the choking and it hurts to talk, but you don’t have time since you’re already dashing to clear the roof. 
But the captain throws his shield and hits your ankle sending you falling until Bucky catches you and twists you with his metal arm so your back was to his chest and he can hold you. 
“It is. You told me so yourself. Remember?” 
“I wanna see my life before all this. I want to see my family and tell them I’m alive. My name was y/n. I found my file and I just-“ 
You were disgusted that you ever told him such things. 
“LET GO!” 
“We can help with your list.” It’s the caption saying this, his face holding pity. “We can’t kill but we can help take them down. If you’re willing.” 
“They all deserve to die!” The one holding you counted in that. 
“I’m not arguing that. But I am setting boundaries. Justice by more death is not the way to do this.” The man tries to ease, attempting a smile. “I’m Sam. You already know Buck-“ 
“Let me go!” 
“We’re proposing a partnership. We help you take them down, get them arrested and you don’t kill any of them.” 
“Right. And I get thrown in a cell right after I’m assuming.” You sneer, trying not to focus on the scent of hazel and coffee coating your senses from the soldier. 
“You will be pardoned. You had no choice back then and we are giving you one now. Pardoned.” 
“And what do you mean by taking them down?” What choice did you have? 
It had been a week with the soldier when he finally showed a small amount of emotion. Insane. 
You had been huddled in the corner of the abandoned hotel you made camp in, keeping close to yourself for warmth as he pretended to sleep by the wall. You knew he wasn’t actually asleep, not trusting enough to do so. And you don’t know when he does get sleep, all you know is you fight to the last possible moment your eyelids can stay open and you don’t sleep long. 
The exhaustion and the cold were beginning to wear you down, a week in and you had yet to kill a single person on this list because the Soldat refused to listen to how you can manage it. With him it’s all silent and watching, your missions were usually more lively. You wore disguises and set traps. Hydra liked sending messages and it’s what you did. 
They want a quick and efficient widow? They send Belova. They want a widow that draws attention to their dangers? A prize possession? They send you. 
Which is why this entire mission is so weird. Why send you if- before you can finish your thought you are being pelted with a warm jacket, the Soldat glaring at you. 
“Your teeth chattering is keeping me up.” He mutters in Russian, sitting up and checking all his weapons. 
“As if you sleep.” You reply back in Russian, rolling your eyes. His eyes flick to you in surprise for just a second before he trains them again, watching the window in the opposite corner. “What’s your name?” 
“Soldat.” 
“What’s your real name?” 
“I….. should the viper be asking questions?” He snaps, glaring once more before you roll your eyes and stand up. He watches your every move as you toss his jacket back and cross the room. “Where are you going?” 
“To be a viper.” You sneer back, enjoying the way the Russian makes the words bite out more. 
He stands up quickly when you move to climb out the window but you send him a glare and descend quickly, making sure he does not follow. 
When you get back three hours later, he is standing in the center of the room with his arms crossed and a glare on his features. 
You simply walk past him to grab your list, crossing off the first name. “Can we get an actual hotel this time? I need to shower some of this blood off.” 
As you move to walk past him his arm shoots out to grab you, pain erupting as he bends your neck to look at him. You would allow this, because is his anger is on you then he won’t look into the 2 little children you helped vanish tonight after you killed their father. 
“You do not make moves without me. Understood?” 
“Yes Soldat.” You try to nod before he lets go. 
“Viper.” He hisses. And you would allow it, because if anyone knew what you had done you would be killed. 
-
The three of you ended up in a warehouse not too far away from the roof you had been scouting on, bucky carrying your bag of weapons on his shoulder as he tried not to look at you while Sam paced back and forth. 
You sat on a fallen beam, seeming bored and uninterested as you picked at your nails. But Bucky knew that was your game, to let the world think you were a valid assassin with little to no care. 
But he knew you cared, he knew how much effort you had put into saving kids back then. You had always been so warm without even realizing it. 
But maybe that all changed, after it….. all happened he hadn’t heard about you again and after he was freed by Steve he couldn't seem to find any of the children you had saved. 
“What happened to them?” He finds himself asking, his chest pinching at the sight of you. His flower. But that look in your eyes, the betrayal and anger….. 
“The first three on my list? I dumped their bodies in the river.” You smile, turning your glare to Sam. “How about that pardon now?”
“The kids. The ones that you-“ you stand before he can finish his sentence , both him and Sam preparing for a fight as you seem to try and ease yourself. 
“What kids?” Sam snaps, anger and protectiveness rolling off of him. “Did you hurt-“ 
“No. She used to smuggle them out.” Bucky explains. “When she got missions if there was a kid in the family she would pretend to kill them, and help the kid out.” 
“I thought hydra confirmed kills by bodies.” 
“Not when you’re the best.” You smile, that vapid venomous smile that made Bucky's stomach churn. “And Soldat is right. I used to smuggle the kids out.” 
His chest hurts at the name you use, but he assumes that it’s fair. “Where are they now?” 
He wants you to look at him, to tell him they are all safe and that he didn’t ruin everything. But you keep your eyes trained away, pain flashing through your features as you explain. “After you…. Told them….. they got the names and locations from me and sent out the shadow widow.” 
“Kaltain Amerie.” Sam nods, recognizing the name. She was married to a fancy rich guy now, had been the one Yelena found. 
“She took care of what I couldn’t. She did the job.” You nod, hands fisting at your sides as the words clang into Bucky. “And I was punished for my failure.” 
“And the missions you got after they caught you?” Sam asks, casting a brief look to bucky at the word caught. 
“I had a partner, and they always made sure I did my job.” Fuck. 
He was going to puke, how many kids had….. 
“You mentioned an alliance. Not an interrogation.” You snap, obviously uncomfortable. “And if you want to revoke my pardon because of-“ 
“I don’t.” Sam says gently, nodding. “And I’m sorry that it happened.” 
“I’m not.” It was a lie and Bucky could taste it. Anything to keep both of them away, that wall you built up when he first met you. 
“Okay. The name on your list. Let’s talk about how to get him.” Bucky changes direction, wanting to get you to ease again, not liking the pain in your eyes. 
You continue to avoid looking in his direction, and he continues to stare at only you. 
She needed cold hard proof so I gave her some
She had the envelope, where you think she got it from?
Now she gets the house, gets the kids, gets the pride
Picture me thick as thieves with your ex-wife
And she looks so pretty
Driving in your Benz
Lately she's been dressing for revenge
-
It’s a month into the mission when the Soldat tells you his name. 
Gone were the days of sleeping on opposite sides of the room, now you both shared a bed. Gone were the days of him not sleeping, and he was now the one that fell asleep first. 
Tonight being one of those nights, with you sitting against the headboard of the hotel bed, his forehead pressed into your thigh as he falls asleep slowly, letting you play with his hair as you review footage of your next name. The third on the list. 
“My name….” He mutters, this time in English which still shocks you everytime he does. “It’s Bucky.” 
“Bucky?” It tastes like vanilla on your tongue, your chest lightening as you whisper it a couple more times. “I like it.” 
“What’s yours?” 
“My file…. My file says Y/n.” You whisper back and he tilts his head up to look at you. 
“You don’t seem to like it.” 
“I….. it just doesn’t feel real.” You admit. “It feels wrong for me to use it.” 
“I think it’s a wonderful name. It suits you well but… I think you’re my flower.” He murmurs back, moving to press his forehead into your thigh once more and finally lets sleep claim him. 
The next morning you both work in tandem, cleaning weapons, he gives you time to make sure that your knives are still potent with venom as you try to come up with a plan to get the 5 year old girl out of the country without the soldier knowing. 
But the betrayal of it hurts your chest, watching him work around you as a smooth unit. A team. That’s what you had become. 
“Ready?” He asks in Russian, coming up to fix the hair that had fallen out of your braid, using his flesh hand to push it behind your ear as his thumb traces your jaw. 
“Always. You?” 
“With you my little flower? Always.” 
-
It was ironic the way you and the Soldat still worked in tandem, moving with an effortless grace. 
Sam, the captain, watches with wide eyes as you both move around each other. 
“Do we have-“ 
“Yes we have enough intel.” You snap, closing the camera footage the second you spot the young boy running down the hall of the mansion when both him and his mom get home. The pain in your chest could be blamed on the image, and or the stupid soldier standing too close to you. “I can smell your breath.” 
“He ate a cheeseburger for lunch again?” Sam chuckles and you stand straight, giving him wide eyes as the Soldat rolls his own. “You know you can’t get in trouble for calling him an idiot, right?” 
“I’m aware.” Your words come out clipped and you try not to shudder at the way Sam snickers, catching your lie. 
“Say it.” 
“Say what?”
“Call Barnes a dumbass.” 
“I won’t speak to the Soldat.” You reply, moving to clean your knives. 
“Oh come on. Try it. It helps me..” sam laughs, sitting across from you at the kitchen counter as the Soldat shuffles closer to help you clean the knives. You could feel the warmth radiating off of him. 
“You….. are a dumbass.” You squeak out, not looking at him. You hear him snort behind you and he reaches across to grab another knife. You roll your eyes at the way he presses his body next to yours. 
“That was lame. Try again.” Sam laughs. 
“Fine. You’re a DUMBASS!” You snap out, watching both their eyes widen before laughs break out and they start cracking up. 
You feel your stiff spine loosen a little, the anxiety easing as you start laughing as well, all three of you cackling. His flesh hand finds its way to your lower back to keep you stable as you both drop the knives to laugh. And finally, after three weeks of working with them you drop the angry front, and give in to their warmth even though everything in you screams to not fall for it. 
-
“Is this….. proper mission food?” You ask from the spot you had taken at the window, watching Bucky and Sam come in with pizza boxes and beer in their hands, both laughing at each other . 
Bucky had, sort of tripped up on the stairs which sent Sam in a spiral of making fun of him, but the second they laid eyes on you that humor fell out the window, both going quiet. 
“You don’t think pizza and beer are good?” Sam asks, offended. “This is the best combo.” 
“Is it…. Allowed?” You ask again and Bucky feels that pang in his chest before he passes the box to you and opens it smoothly. 
“You get the first slice pick.” He offers and Sam gasps at the counter. 
“That….. oh that’s just cruel to me.” 
“It’s an honor to pick the first slice then?” You quirk your eyebrow, humor written on your face, the spark in your eyes setting him on fire. “This is a New York custom?”
“Oh indeed.” He smiles, pushing the box closer to you. “It would be a great dishonor to refuse this.”
There is a second of discomfort, he watches you contemplate it before you reach for a slice, grabbing the largest slice and raising your eyebrows as you wait to see their reactions. 
“Perfect choice!” Sam grunts, reaching around you to grab another slice. 
“I was going to choose that one.” Bucky smiles, watching you bite it immediately then stick out your tongue at him before taking up a spot on the couch as both of them find their own seats in the living room. You seem tense still, obviously not used to this sort of freedom anymore and his lungs constrict at the thought that this was caused by him. 
Back then you had been so… warm and open. Even as an agent you melted the ice exterior the soldier had around him. And through the muddled haze of his memory every memory attached to you was always crystal clear, like a flame in the fog. 
“So…. you guys knew each other back when he was the Winter Soldier?” Sam asks, popping the lid off of a beer with ease, he leans forward on his knees and pretends to be more interested in the pizza box. Making it seem like he was an open book, a comforting thing. 
“Yeah, we had a long list of enemies that they wanted us to deal with.” You answer, looking to the window rather than either of them. 
“It seems like it went wrong…” 
“It went fine.” Bucky is quick to snap. 
“It was fine. We made it through half the list, before Hydra had to get involved.” You snap as well moving to set the rest of your slice on the plate left on the table for you. “I made a mistake.”
“It wasn’t-” Bucky goes to argue, chest tight.
“I let emotions muddle my task.” You explain to Sam. “I got too attached and ruined it. And then I got caught smuggling the kids out- I was further reported for my behavior and handled accordingly.”
“Hey, this isn’t Hydra.” Sam tries to ease you. “I think what you did was very noble and-”
“All I did was give kids hope where it didn’t belong.” You sneer. “I will never allow myself that weakness again.” 
You cast Bucky a glare, his palms sweating and chest blistering as he watches you disappear into the bathroom and the shower running a second later. 
Sam continues watching Bucky, eyebrows pinched together. “You reported it?”
“I… as much as I broke away at that time I was still under the soldiers spell.” Bucky admits, gulping down half the beer in his hand. “I…. I had sent in a mission report. Well I had to send it in and I had caught her plan a little bit before that.”
“I’m sorry that happened, Buck.”
“I am too.” He sighs. “I got rewarded and she… well they broke her.”
She don't start it, but she can tell you how it ends
Don't get sad, get even
So on the weekends
She don't dress for friends
Lately she's been dressing for revenge
“You need to be careful in the upper levels.” He warns, keeping his flesh hand on the small of your back as you both move to start scaling the side of the house. 
“I know.” You growl out, keeping your voice low as his eyebrows pinch in frustration. “Don’t be a worry wart.”
“Stick to my side.”
“The job is quicker if I take care of the kids.” You mumble, leaning up to kiss his cheek lightly, the closest you had ever gotten to actually kissing him, no matter how much you wanted to. Three months with him and you were hopelessly in love. 
“Fine.” He grunts out, his Russian sharp. He nods once before moving to his starting point, checking that you had begun scaling the wall to the kids room before heading in to handle the parents. But you had been so caught up in Bucky that you didn’t check to make sure both the children were asleep. 
The girl screamed first, followed by the boy and you began rushing to ease their worries, kneeling by them and trying to swipe the tears away. “No no. Easy my little ones. It’s okay. I just need you to listen-”
But the boy screams again, this time at something behind you which makes you whirl to find Bucky in the frame of the door, watching intently with blood on his arm. 
“No! Please!” You beg, up on your feet and shoving yourself in front of the children as he cocks his head to the side. “Please.”
“Move.” He orders, raising his gun. It seems he’s already assessed the weakness and was willing to handle the problem. “Now.”
“No!” You hadn’t even realized that tears were falling down your face until you could taste the salt, moving forward to grab his gun. “Please!”
“The mission-”
“They are children.” Both of you were speaking Russian, which seemed to be scaring the kids even more as they wailed, and you turned to ease them again. They dash into your arms, holding you tight as they sob. You would die before letting anything happen to them. 
When you turn to see him again you see that he has lowered the gun and is merely staring at you, something sparking in his eyes. 
You wait for the blow, but it never comes. Instead he nods his head and moves to pick up the boy. He helps you get them out, aboard a ship and hidden from Hydra. When you make it back to the hotel you pace a bit, waiting for him to finish you off. 
But he merely stands in the center of the room, watching you closely. 
“I’m sorry.” You sob, hand on your chest as you turn to him finally. “I failed the mission and-”
He moves forward in three easy strides, his hands grasping your jaw to bring you up into a searing kiss, arms wrapping around you tightly as he lifts you off the ground to keep you close. And all anxieties peel away, as he lifts his hand to undo your suit. Giving yourself to the soldier that night, and once you were done you stay huddled together, whispering your dreams of the past and future. 
And for once you felt like…. You were home. 
The next morning tensions were gone, and you seemed to have forgotten about the night before. Or at least you were pretending to, and Bucky didn’t know if he should be happy or angry at the fact. 
You had combed through all the footage of the target, piling it all into a folder and he had sent the flash drive to the people needed that would be able to get him arrested. And after that had been sent you had sent out another envelope to his wife, with proof of an affair so she would be able to divorce him. 
And just like that another name was taken off your list, and Bucky tried not to feel the pressure at the fact that he was sure you would be gone the second the list was done. And he wouldn’t have an excuse to see you anymore. 
He’s lucky Sam went along with this plan in the first place. 
“Where is Sam?” You ask from your spot at the counter, legs crossed as you play with one of your knives, watching him closely where he sits on the couch. 
“He went to go check on his sister and her kids.” He answers, looking up to you. “They are really close.”
“That’s nice.” You hum, dropping the knife out of boredom. “What comes next?”
“You got another name?”
“Are we allowed to start without Sam?” You ask, eyebrows pinching together. 
“Yes. We can. Your list?” 
“Front pocket of my duffel.” You hum out, something having caught your attention. He reaches for the bag and checks for the list as you shuffle closer to his open laptop. For a second he hears you hesitate, but he had already made it clear that you had access to anything so he nods and lets you look as he finds the paper you wrote the list on. 
His eyes skim across the names, landing on the very last name as his heart stops. ‘Bucky Barnes’ , and no matter how many times you blink the name does not disappear. Why did you let him see this? Was this a trap set?
He whirls, only to find you staring at the screen unblinking. “Flower?”
Your head snaps to glare at him as he shuffles closer, shoving your list in his pocket and looking at what had caught your attention. He finds an old sitcom, a scene with a mother curled up with her kids and reading them a bedtime story. 
“You never told me why.” He mutters, sitting on the couch with you on the floor staring at the screen again. 
“Why what?”
“Why did you risk your life for all those kids?”
“Because they… because no one fought for me back then.” You admit, turning to look at him. “What is this show?”
“Full house. I don’t know, Steve put it on my list.”
“Your list?” You ask and he nods. 
“Things to catch up on.” He smiles. “Like the star wars series.”
“The what?” He blinks slowly at your question, purely shocked.  
Three hours later you are both sprawled out on the couch, pillows and blankets thrown about with snacks everywhere. Bucky had dragged you out to the store, buying tons of snacks that you had never tried before and before you knew it the apartment cupboards were packed with snacks and you were preparing to see the first star wars. 
“Should we… have brought all this to the mission base?”
“The what?” He laughs, leaning forward to snatch a gummy worm from the bag you were holding. 
“The… this apartment. Are we allowed to use it for this?”
“It’s my apartment.” He shrugs, and you blink slowly. 
“It’s empty though.” 
“I have a couch!” He scoffs. “And a tv!”
“No bed, no plushy towels or…. This is your home?” You didn’t know why this upset you. “You live like this?”
You want to kill him. You want to kill him. Why does this matter?
“I have a welcome mat.” He points to the door. 
“That’s an ugly welcome mat.” 
“Is not.”
“That would scare away any child on halloween.” You snap. “Are you trying to ruin their halloween?” 
“No one really comes up here on halloween.” He shrugs again. “Why does it matter?”
“You… you’ve been free! You have been free this whole time and this is how you live and- I…..”
“I had other things to worry about besides Hydra. And John Walker. Tony Stark and the snap and- well I was trying to find you.” He admits. 
“You were trying to find me?” Your chest constricts, as you watch him. “You tried to find me?”
“I did but after I was freed it was like they made you completely disappear and I’m assuming it’s because they knew I would start looki-” Before he can finish his sentence his phone rings and he sees Sams name, giving you an apologetic look before picking it up. You take a moment to try and fix yourself, taking deep breaths in. “He WHAT?”
This catches your attention, sitting up to watch him carefully as he stands. “I’ll be right there.”
He hangs up and nods. “I gotta go help Sam. Stay here and-”
“I’m coming with you.” You snap, moving to grab your duffel.
“No, we have a situation with John Walker and I need to-”
“I am coming.” And just like that you grab your suit, giving him your best glare as he shakes his head. “You both are helping me. The least I can do is help you.”
“You don’t have to.” He mumbles. 
“But I will. Let’s go.”
Ladies always rise above
Ladies know what people want
Someone sweet and kind and fun
The lady simply had enough
“Thank you.” You whisper, keeping your head on his chest as you trace patterns along his skin. “Thank you for helping.”
“If you got away what would you do?”
“Me? I….. I would find the kids and make sure they made it. I would buy a house and get a cheesy welcome mat for it. I would decorate for halloween and….. And I would adopt a kid and-” You could taste the freedom, imagine it right there. A happy life. 
“That sounds… amazing, flower.” 
You lift your head, smiling softly as you lean up to kiss him, and he smiles back before moving to kiss you back. 
You feel him stiffen before sitting up quickly and reaching for his knife. “Bucky?”
“I’m sorry.” He mumbles. “I’m so sorry.”
Before you can realize the door is blown open and agents rush in to grab you. 
“Oh…. oh I like this duo.” John Walker smiles, watching you stand slightly behind Bucky with your arms crossed. He doesn’t say a word and neither do you, both giving him a good glare. The Winter Soldier and The Viper. “I hadn’t realized that Bucko boy came with his very own sidekick.”
“этот идиот знает, что от него пахнет рыбой?” (does this imbecile know he smells of fish?) You ask, sneering a bit and taking a step closer to Bucky. “и так небрежно использовать свое имя. Я могу сломать этого человека за считанные минуты.” (and to use your first name so casually. I can break this man within minutes.)
“Я с нетерпением жду этого. Еще я очень голоден, мармеладных червячков мне не хватило, чтобы поесть..” (I look forward to it. I'm also very hungry, gummy worms were not a sufficient meal)
You nod, trying not to smile as he gives you a look over his shoulder while Walker shuffles uncomfortably on his feet. “Shouldn’t we all speak english?”
“Maybe.” Sam shrugs. “But I find it’s easier to let these two do their thing. You said something about a raid?”
“There is a train heading down south here in 30 minutes and I know for a fact that there are rebels planning on stealing what’s on it.”
“What’s so important about what’s on the train?” Bucky asks, casting a look towards you and you see him catalog each and every one of your weapons just as he always used to do as the soldat. You give him a glare and he shrugs. 
“Weapons.” John mutters. “And if we can intercept the rebels then-”
“You get your job back?” Sam snides.  John stutters for a second and you snort, enjoying the panic on his face. He glares at you, preparing to say something as you step forward to grab one of your knives. You had no clue who this man was but it was easy to know that he was not an ally. 
“Get your-”
“She’s not a dog.” Sam snaps, as Bucky sneers. “We’ll help, but on our terms. No one gets hurt and no one gets pummeled without cause.”
“Fine. Let’s see what you guys can do.” John sneers at you both, and Bucky sends you an easy smile over his shoulder as you smile back. 
“Устроить им ад?” (Give them hell?) 
“следую твоему примеру, Барнс.” (Following your lead, Barnes) You smile back, both of you swiveling to Sam and moving together. 
You stand with him on a bridge, keeping a hand on his arm to stabilize yourself as you keep an eye on the ledge, fixing the comm in your ear with your other hand as he does the same. 
“I….. I never wanted to betray you.” He blurts, as John tries to convince Sam to give him one of their comms, his argument of ‘I’m part of the team!’ almost making you snort. But Bucky’s words kept your attention as you tried to play it cool. Keeping your eyes trained on the bridge before you. 
“Is this a good time to talk about this?” You mutter in Russian, just in case Walker could hear you both like you could hear him. 
“It was the status report. They were making me do it every month and….. I fought it. I really tried to fight it.” He admits in russian, casting a look to Walker before turning back to you, his hand shooting out to wrap around your arm as you lean to prepare a landing. “Careful.”
“I thought…. You were…. Nevermind it was my mistake.”
“It wasn’t a mistake.” He snaps, pulling you closer. “It… It was everything to me.”
“I shouldn’t have. I should have kept my eyes on the mission and I ruined it and I ruined it for those kids. You were a weapon dangled before me, they knew I would fall for it. They knew I would fall for the freedom of it. And I’m sure they already knew that I was helping those kids and they just needed to prove-” The words are spilling out and you just can’t seem to stop them, tears beginning to fill your eyes. “I just wanted… I just wanted to help them.”
“You did.” He mumbles, moving until his chest is pressed to your shoulder. “Please look at me.” 
“I messed it all up.”
“You didn’t mess anything up-”
“I did. I fell in love.” You finally look at him, tears in your eyes as he takes a deep breath in. 
“I-”
“Incoming.” It’s Sam's voice in the comms that makes you both jump before you look to see the train coming. 
“On it.” You mumble back in english, stabbing a knife into the brick beneath you as Bucky keeps a hold on your arm. 
“Be careful, we’ll be right behind. Keep a knife ready and-”
“I’ve got it.” You laugh, watching the train get closer and closer. 
“I just worry.” He admits, leaning forward to kiss your cheek softly. “And just so we are clear, I fell in love too.”
You try not to smile, giving him one last look before using the chord and launching down as you hear Sam count down in the comms, feet landing on the top of the train with a thud before you dive for the top grate and begin working on tearing it off. 
You manage to tear it off in time to duck and lay flat as a sign under the bridge appears, managing to avoid it before crouching and climbing in as the train breaks from the bridge, three heavy sets of footprints hit the top of it while you climb across boxes to get to the end of the cart. 
“Viper?!” Walker calls, landing in the crate followed by Bucky and Sam. You don’t bother answering, too busy trying to lift the shaft on the cart. 
“You good?” Sam asks, coming to your side. 
“I’m fine.” You mumble. “I can handle the mission sir-”
“Did you just sir me?” Sam laughs, leaning to help you with the shaft, letting the sunlight break in as the wind snaps in both your faces. 
“You guys see anything?” John yells across the way as Bucky hops over a box and reaches you both. 
You have just enough time to turn, ready to bite a response to Walker when you spot the bomb taped to the far wall. Your mouth opens in an attempt to yell a warning but it’s too late. It all blasts to shit. 
There was nothing but pain as you hung suspended in the cell, the Shadow Widow sneering at you from her spot in the corner while Valkov took a break from torturing you. Your breathing is ragged, blood falling out of your mouth with the saliva as your eyes water. 
You can no longer feel your legs, and your fingernails had been torn out first. Sobs racking through your body as he asks the question again, his russian loud. 
“WHERE ARE THE LOOSE ENDS?!!”
You couldn’t betray the kids, you couldn’t do it. So when he picked up the drill you closed your eyes, sobbing once more as you try to blink Buckys face out of your memory, succumbing to your punishment. 
Heat blasts against his back as you scream out, Sam yelling loudly, all three of you grasping anything you can as the train keeps going. 
Bucky’s metal arm finds purchase on a broken handle of the train, trying to pull himself up as Sam grips the side grates of the train trying to activate his falcon wings while you struggle to keep hold of what is left of the floorboard in the train car, nails scraping as you grimace in pain while your legs stay suspended in the air. 
“HOLD ON!” He calls, reaching his flesh hand for you before the metal of the door groans and he has to freeze. 
Walker appears, bleeding from his ears and looking frazzled as hell, but Bucky breathes out a sigh of relief when he sees the idiot reach to help you. Hope that you would make it out of this mess, that is until John stumbles as he reaches for your hand and ends up making you lose your holding. 
You scream out, nails scraping as you slide out, nearly all your body suspended in the air. Both Bucky and Sam scream, reaching for you before they realize they can’t. 
“When does this fucking bridge end?” Bucky snaps, looking down to the hundreds of feet below, memories flashing in his mind. 
“Language.” Sam grunts, exhaling in relief when he sees you manage to grab the final woodboard, your last chance at holding on. 
“Complete the mission.” You snap. “I can get up.”
“We don’t leave each other behind.” Bucky grunts, using his flesh hand to reach for a rope connected to the roof of the train car. 
“Hydra tells us we need to complete the missi-”
“This isn’t Hydra and I’m not leaving my girl on this train.” Bucky snaps and Sam whoops out a loud ‘fuck hydra’ as they both struggle to get to the main opening. 
There are thuds on top of the train and you risk a look to see multiple hooded figures with bags getting ready to ransack the weapons. A grunt of anger passes through you as let one hand free from the board, much to Bucky's chagrin as he yells out for you before you reach and grab your compact launcher you had hidden in the belt of your suit and shoot the roof with the grappling hook, pulling yourself up right in time for Walker to fall back into the car. 
“This manchild is useless.” You sneer, reaching for Bucky immediately, hands grasping his tactical vest and dragging him as much as you can into the train car as Sam struggles to get in as well. 
“There are about 15 figures. We should have about 10 minutes before they blow the rest of this train up.” You explain, keeping your hands on his shoulders as you assess him. “Are you hurt?”
“No I’m-”
“I’m hurt!” Walker calls, making you hiss an unappealing word at him in russian before moving to look at Sam. 
“Do you want the viper or me on this mission?”
“Viper would be nice.” Sam nods, looking at all the weapons. “Viper for sure.”
You nod, turning to assess Bucky one more time before he nods at you and you both begin working.   
While he was doing lines
And crossing all of mine
Someone told his white collar crimes to the FBI
And I don't dress for villains
Or for innocents
I'm on my vigilante shh again
You both work in tandem, every punch he throws shoves the person straight into your kick. You slash your knife at anyone that gets too close to him, slicing their skin easily as he snipes out anyone rushing to the train. 
Sam is finding the rest of the bombs, disarming them to the best of his ability. 
You hiss in pain when you get hit in the jaw, but Bucky is there smashing the butt of his gun to the back of their head as you blink away the tears. His hand finds your jaw, assessing the damage before turning and nodding to the path you guys need. 
“So…. what’s the plan after this?” He asks, huffing as he gets to the slate you had originally been planning on clearing. 
“After this? Probably dinner.” You laugh, bending to break the controls. He adjusts himself so you were back to back, him watching to make sure you were good. 
“I mean…. After this mission.” 
“I….. I want to finish the list.” You answer, tearing out a board to access the rest of the control panel. 
“Does that list still include me?” He blurts, making you freeze. When you don’t answer he looks down to see you already staring up at him with wide eyes. 
“You saw that?”
“On your list. Highlighted and everything.” He nods, snapping his attention to a thud across the way, finding it empty. It was enough to get you back to work, focusing on the wires and buttons again. “I would understand if you wanted to-”
“I don’t anymore.” You snap. “I don’t think I ever would have been able to but it’s not like I planned to make it far after I got out. I didn’t have a plan. Everyone else had a plan and I was left! I was tortured and maimed for wanting that freedom, and when the time came I was the only one that had nothing to live for.” 
You were seething, and he could only agree. He hated the other widows for what they did to you, that would never be forgiven. 
“I wanted a family. That’s all I wanted.” You whisper, finally breaking the right chord. The lights immediately die out and the train lurches as it comes to a complete stop. 
“Is that still what you want?” He whispers back, holding his hand out for you to grab and help you up. 
“I don’t deserve it.” 
“You are the only person in this entire universe that deserves that.” He snaps. “And it’s important to me that you know that.”
“It’s not like I have much of a future open.”
“Well I think you have a bit of a future in the vigilante game if you ask me.” He smiles. 
I don't start it, but I can tell you how it ends
Don't get sad, get even
So on the weekends
I don't dress for friends
Lately I've been dressing for revenge
“I’m sorry, you used to what?!” Sarah laughs, coming around the kitchen counter to grab a bottle of soda from your hand, eyes wide. “Dip your knives in lethal poison.”
“It made things easier. Even if I didn’t hit a vital organ I still knew the job was done.” You explain, shrugging a bit as she laughs. You still got nervous when talking about your past, but Sarah seemed anything but judgemental. 
Sam's sister ended up being your very best friend on this earth, which surprised you to no end. You loved her kids and you loved her. You especially loved girls night because you never thought this would be an option in general. Nonetheless you had friends now. You had a home, with a silly little welcome mat that was left on the porch for the trick or treaters every year. 
The very same one that was getting trampled on every time Sarahs kids ran through with your adopted children, covered in mud and laughing loudly. 
“Hey! Mind your mess!” She snaps out but you can’t stop smiling as you watch your adopted 4 year old chase after one of her sons. 
“What are you up to?” Bucky asks, coming in from the garage with Sam and Joaquin smiling from ear to ear as he rushes to kiss at your jaw. 
“We are getting ready.” You laugh, shooing him away. 
“For?”
“The Eras movie. You have daughters now Barnes. You need to get with the program.” Sarah scoffs playfully, making her brother laugh as they pick up the snacks and head to the living room. 
“Hey…. I just wanted to say thank you for your help on the mission the other day.” Torres smiles before following the rest into the living room leaving you with Bucky. 
“Hear that? Vigilante shit right there.” You laugh, leaning forward to kiss him. 
“Still waiting for you to kill me.” He whispers against your lips, winking before heading to catch your daughter as she tries to dash past, making her laugh loudly and reach for you.
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howlsofbloodhounds · 1 month
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Can I say, one of my big headcanons with Killer is that he would NOT be a smooth talker if he ever got in a relationship with someone.
That guy spent years studying those around him to keep them from being too enraged at him, so I don't doubt that he'd do something like that in a romantic relationship too. He'd be attentive (often to a creepy extreme, but I feel like anyone getting in a relationship with him would reasonably expect a bit of stalking). But there was never any benefit in learning to flirt and stuff like that.
My man would get flirted with and his brain would do the Windows error sound.
I desperately need to see him be an awkward mess sometimes and will probably write it myself at some point (colorkiller is really tempting my hand. I don't usually write ship content but DAMN)
I once read a fanfic where the author headcanon’d that the reason Stage 2 develops things like flirting is because he read Alphys’ old mangas/comics/watched her anime in his timeline with Chara and started copying the behavior of the anime love interests and I thought that headcanon was hilarious.
But I gotta admit that idea is pretty fucking adorable and id honestly love to read more about this headcanon of yours, or just read about it in interactions with others (with color or others).
And I think it’d possibly be because, if he’s in a relationship with someone, it may also come with the caveat that he actually wants their approval or for them to think at least well of him. and is so suprised when they actually do or reciprocate that he kinda malfunctions for a minute there.
People because they actually like and want him too, as opposed to praising or showing him affection whenever he does something they want well or approve of—in which case he’s not effected by the praise except for the knowledge that he at least is doing something good and successfully avoided angering that person & the consequences that come with it.
Just the idea that they’re praising or showing him attention because they want to and like him and not because he did something they wanted or because they want something from him. Seems like a pretty foreign concept for him.
and you know what. what if he did something like a happy stim whenever something like that happened, or like did his little hands clasped over his soul thingy he sometimes does in his canon drawings, even if he’s not completely aware of it or why he’s doing it but his friend(s)/partner(s) know and thus know whenever he actually likes something they do or say because hed do this very specific thing subconsciously/instinctively. (this was inspired by an actual irl experience I had with someone lmao)
{ @stellocchia }
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miiilowo · 1 year
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i feel like theres not a lot of great resources out there so i figured id just ask -- how would you recommend ways of living with/helping out someone else with npd? :)
youre right! most of the time when u look up NPD stuff its "THE ABUSER DISORDER: KNOW HOW TO RECOGNIZE IT AND DISABLE NARC DEFENSES SO THEY CANT TAKE ADVANTAGE OF YOU" which isnt. Great
all it really comes down to is listening to them n addressing their needs if they've communicated them to you. ill try to simplify it so i dont get too into details, though i will likely fail, and most of this advice will be based off my experiences, so idk how much itll apply to whoever ur talking about BUT:
generally (and w me especially) you can safely say that NPD mostly has to do with ego dysregulation. Our [as in myself and people w npd] mental health and general happiness tends to rely on how people perceive us, and if that perception is anything but positive, we feel like poopy doo doo dogshit. we kinda need to be paid attention to in a way that feels meaningful, yknow? compliment them, make sure theyre included in conversations (esp group ones), and try not to ignore em in any way. if youre talking to them and youre busy, for example, make sure you include that detail so they don't feel like youre brushing them aside. stuff like that. if they make art, and you genuinely like it, try going into detail as to why, whether its the colors or linework or what have you. if they write, tell them what you liked about the story or poem, etcetera. Tag them in stuff that reminds you of them if you have their socials, or send them things, show it to them, whatever.
lots of us tend to actually be very insecure, even if it doesn't seem that way, which might be important to keep in mind. sometimes we can get whats referred to as "narc crashes" (im not particularly a fan of the term narc, though theres nothing actually wrong with it, so ill just call it an NPD crash) where for whatever reason, we go from feeling great and secure in our egos and our stability and happiness and security to falling 600 feet down directly into hell no recovery absolutely awful 0% joy 0% light 100% agony. dogs with human teeth screaming at you and shit its really just no good. calling you a dunderhead
they usually (though not always!) come after a high where we feel fantastic, and most commonly the cause of a crash is we get hurt by someone, humiliated, or made to feel lesser in some significant way. for me, they're the worst when i no longer feel confident that people like me, and i become incredibly worried everybody secretly hates me. which is a very very very awful train of thought to be experiencing when you have the "EVERYBODY NEEDS TO LIKE ME NOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW" disorder. so if ur friend seems depressed or upset make sure to ask whats going on and bump up the praise and stuff up a notch. its the best way to recover for Me, at least. crashes dont have a consistent like. timeframe? i think it highly depends on the severity of what happened and whats being done to fix it, though im certainly no psychologist lmao
i feel like when folks w npd Are mean or unfair its because their needs arent being met, theyre doing awful, and they need support so they dont desperately lash out for it. god knows thats the case for me. thats another thing thats important to keep in mind i think
a lot of traits of NPD aren't pretty, and thats just a fact of the matter. its a disorder for a reason and all. even if we dont express the almost inherently negative traits all the time (usually because we are aware they are unfair to other people), its very likely that we are feeling them, and it does erode your brain after a while. The DSM-5 list of traits is probably the best way to go for this, as per this government website:
"A pervasive pattern of grandiosity (fantasy or behavior), need for admiration, and with lack of empathy, beginning by early adulthood, as indicated by at least five of the following:
Has a grandiose sense of self-importance (e.g., exaggerates achievements, expects to be recognized as superior without actually completing the achievements)
Is preoccupied with fantasies of success, power, brilliance, beauty, or perfect love.
Believes that they are "special" and can only be understood by or should only associate with other special people (or institutions).[milo note: its hard for me to find something specific to make bold in this definition, but generally, i do not express that i think that i am better than other people even if i think it]
Requires excessive admiration.
Has a sense of entitlement, such as an unreasonable expectation of favorable treatment or compliance with his or her expectations.
Is exploitative and takes advantage of others to achieve their own ends.
Lacks empathy and is unwilling to identify with the needs of others.
Is often envious of others or believes that others are envious of them.
Shows arrogant, haughty behaviors and attitudes."
Ive bolded the ones that would negatively affect people that, I, at least, try not to express but still feel, or feel the desire to do, near constantly.
As you can see, thats a pretty hefty chunk of them! I'm sure some people could take problem with every trait listed here, in which case they can suck my whole dick, but those are the ones I've noticed upset people the most, or make relationships the most difficult. I bring these up because if someone does express these, you need to keep in mind it is because of a personality disorder. That doesn't always make them acceptable, and if they are really upsetting, you should talk to them about it, but thats just like. basic relationship shit lmao. just try to be an eensy bit forgiving
Though the MAIN reason I wanted to bring up the traits is due to the 'entitlement/unreasonable expectation of favorable treatment/compliance' one. This can manifest in a whole lot of ways, but it is genuinely infuriating when someone ignores what i want them to do/what ive asked them to do/etc, especially if its for a reason that doesnt 'feel' solid enough, like them just not wanting to do it. it can be incredibly frustrating if someone with npd says they need something from you or want you to do xyz and it doesnt happen, so try your best to listen to them. if you cant do what they desire for whatever reason, make sure thats clear, and why. Most of us will recognize we're being unfair, but will still be mad; Just know its not because of you, its because of the disorder, and most people will not hold it against you because they're aware its unreasonable in some fashion.
i think thats like. the main things when it comes to meeting the needs of someone w NPD. to summarize and dumb it down:
make sure to compliment them in meaningful ways, especially when you really mean it
pay attention to them; try to prioritize them in conversation and such. it feels very nice. dont ignore them for the love of god
keep the crashes in mind, and try to uplift your friend as much as you can. reassure them you care about them, maybe not directly by saying "i care about you" but with your actions in general
listen to them and adapt to their needs as best as you can
remember that if they are being unpleasant its probably because of The Disorder and they are not doing well. dont let anyone be a prick to you but try to be kind. everybody goes through shit
if anyone has anything to add, or if you have any followup questions, feel free to ask ^_^ i very much didn't cover everything here, and again, this is mostly based off of my experience as someone w NPD, and everyone is different to some degree. The most important thing to do is ask about their needs, and try to adapt to them the best you can.
i think thats all i have to say for now tho so. sayanora. if i come up w anything else ill add it in an edit
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Text
A/N: Hi! I'm kinda new in the Hogwart's legacy fandom and I've seen so many people sharing their MC and their stories and I just wanted to share mine too!
English is not my first language, and my blogger skills (?) are poor, so proceed with caution!
Meet my MC!
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Name: Tori Lewis
Birthday: 14th June 1875
Birthplace: Turin, Italy
Pronouns: She/her
Sexuality: Lesbian
House: Hufflepuff
Wand: Acaia wood, phoenix core, 12' length, quite bendy flexibility
Patronus: Jack Russell Terrier
Quidditch position: Seeker; Imelda practically begged her to join the Hufflepuff team because "I need a good competition in order to improve myself!"
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Some extra facts!
Her name
Tori stands for Vittoria. Why Vittoria? Because she is half-British and half-Italian (from her mother's side) 🤌. I chose the name because I like to think that her parents thought about  Queen Victoria of the United Kingdom and King Vittorio Emanuele II of Italy, both sovereigns by the time of Tori's birth.
Why Turin?
Because well, it's my birthplace! Also, Turin is a special city: it has a lot of esoteric story. In a few words, this city joins London and San Francisco to create the triangle of Black Magic, but also the triangle of White Magic too with Lyon and Prague.
Future
Spouse: Poppy Sweeting (she IS wife)
Career: Auror and Natty is her partner, they're thick as thieves and menace to their superior
I think that Poppy's mission is still saving beasts from poachers, so I headcanon she is a sort of mix of Auror and magizoologist (guys, I have no idea about careers in wizard world lol)
Residence: Hogsmeade (I headcanon that since she is a Keeper, she doesn't want to live far away from Hogwarts, I'm also too in love with Hogsmeade)
My personal headcanons with future wife Poppy 💛
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Even if they're in the same house and same bedroom, Poppy had never spoken to Tori before their first Beasts Class together because the last was often away and Poppy herself is a night owl, visiting Highwing or studying beasts, etc.
Poppy was also sure that the new fifth year will become like her schoolmates. Because sure, why the new cool, brave student will be friend with Peculiar Poppy? But fortunately Tori is such a good egg, kneazles can confirm.
Tori decided to kneel in front of the Graphorn (because we're not a monster, right?) following Poppy's example. It was Poppy that waited patiently for the mother dragon to take its egg back. It was Poppy that put down her wand when centaurs came to her. And of course, you should show respect to an Hippogriff before approaching.
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That's why she chose to kneel. The Graphorn has fought well, it deserved respect.
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Poppy felt in love first. Tori felt harder. Like she is kind of in denial for a while and then BOOM she falls and realises and she is panicking "what? Aaaaah what should I do now?!"
Poppy doesn't need protection but loves how protective Tori is.
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Their love language is physical touch. Every single one. Surprise hugs from behind? Lovely! Forehead kiss? Adorable! Cuddles in the vivarium with beasts? The best!
Should I really say it? Poppy is an adorable little spoon and love to be wrapped in Tori's arms.
Tori is a golden retriever. Already from day one when Poppy asked to follow her in the forest.
Tori feel like she could die because of Poppy's cuteness, often screaming "STOP BEING SO CUTE AND SO KISSABLE I CAN'T FOCUS"
Poppy is a great cook, Tori isn't at all. But a few times she has tried to cook to cheer Poppy up. The result was messy but still edible and Poppy appreciated the efforts.
They're bad dancers but they don't care, they're having fun
I have a very sappy proposal headcanon.
Tori proposed to Poppy after a couple of months after graduation (lesbian couples move fast, okay?) and she decided to be extremely romantic.
She studied where and when to find Mooncalves' dance and saved the day on her calendar. When the day came, she took Poppy and flied on Highwing to the special place.
Poppy thought the surprise was the mooncalves' dance, instead she turned around and found Tori on her knees, with a ring in her hand. A very shining ring that a selvatic niffler has tried to steal before Poppy could say yes, jumping from a bush the moment the ring sparkled under the moonlight. The little beast had caused little chaos but fortunately they catched it before was too late. With the retrieved ring in one hand, and the beast thief in the other, Tori asked grinning "do you still want to marry meee?"
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I've surely more facts and headcanons for my MC, but I think this post is already long enough!
Anddd that was my MC! If you've read so far, thank you so much!
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commsroom · 3 months
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Happy birthday! What are your thoughts and insights on everyone’s first interactions with hera?
thank you!! sorry this is late, but it's a really good question and i wanted to spend a little more time on it. hm.
minkowski is the first person hera met on the hephaestus (and so... kind of the first person she met at all; i don't think goddard scientists and higher-ups count.) and while "i'd heard sensus units prefer to go by their serial numbers" is very telling in... other ways, minkowski was just trying to be prepared. she accepts hera's correction, they both kinda mutually embarrass themselves... all things considered, much nicer than what hera is used to. the bar is low, but still. they really butt heads before they actually become friends, but the potential for that was always there.
as for eiffel, i have a post here that's relevant. i'm a big fan of hera saying eiffel's name + employee ID before he can introduce himself, because the implicit messaging is that he also has a name and a number, the same as her. i think the core of eiffel + hera's eventual relationship is that, fundamentally, she values the same things he does. she sees him blundering around in the dark with no regard for station protocol, with contraband cigarettes floating out of his pocket, and she likes that. "you hate rules as much as i do, don't you, doug?" i don't know if it's controversial to say, but i think hera was attached to eiffel long before eiffel really got attached to hera - and like, of course. the stakes are higher for her. she's met so few people ever, and eiffel is the only one who shares her priorities at all. he's the only one who just talks to her. "you've got a lovely ultraviolet halo around your head" is kind of an insane thing to say to a person you just met. but i think that's why it hurt her so much, and stayed with her so long, that he was initially scared of her, and made all of those flippant comments. she always wanted him to get to know her.
(maybe worth noting: both of those scenes include hera "keeping a secret" for the other person, but minkowski tells her directly not to tell anyone, as the commander. hera offers to keep eiffel's.)
hera is never formally introduced to lovelace - when lovelace asks about her, minkowski replies with a very technical description of her role on the station. most of their early interactions are similarly very technical. hera thinks lovelace just sees her as a tool and doesn't speak to her unless she needs something, but the confrontation in do no harm - which i would classify as the first big moment for their dynamic - makes it clear lovelace feels she's keeping a distance from everyone equally, and it isn't because of hera specifically. i think, in many ways, hera and lovelace become... two people in a group of friends who don't really know how to hang out without the others around. when it comes down to it, they have a lot in common and advocate for each other, but... lovelace shows affection by ribbing her friends and hera takes everything very personally, etc. they're both instigators in different ways and kind of clash without a buffer.
kepler... is interesting, because he asks about hera in very technical terms as well, and lets her correct him. it's definitely calculated, and gauging her reaction, but i wouldn't say it's malicious on its own - i don't think he's dehumanizing her, he's just intentionally downplaying how much he knows about the crew already. well, and setting up for...
maxwell. oh boy. okay. yes, it's nice that she knows hera's name right away, and it's nice that she addresses hera specifically + directly. that's the point, isn't it? hera isn't used to that basic courtesy, and it immediately makes her more receptive to maxwell. there's also something to be said about maxwell's much friendlier introduction vs. kepler's professional one - it gives the impression they aren't always on the same page, and so incentivizes hera to trust maxwell even if she doesn't trust the people maxwell is with. and, well, the way maxwell disregards hilbert doesn't hurt either. while i absolutely believe their dislike of him is sincere, i think it is also very intentional manipulation that maxwell talks down to and dismisses hilbert in front of hera, while kepler yells at him in front of eiffel.
we don't see hera's introduction to hilbert (pre-canon and she doesn't like him, makes sense) or jacobi (i don't think he even directly speaks to her until need to know. and she doesn't like him.) but both of them are very dismissive and dehumanizing towards her.
i suppose it's kind of interesting how the si-5 introductions are kind of a warped mirror of the original crew, then - a commanding officer who politely accepts her correction, someone she feels she clicks with, and someone who doesn't even regard her at all.
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