#because i wanted to die before i commited too many sins

[pokeybananas]

Today my couples therapy asked me: "so how long have you known you liked girls for and not liked men?"

Me: "a few months. It was a big surprise!"

Like I'm not sure people realize how much of a surprise it is to find out you're a lesbian at 29.

[suiana]

(yandere! demon harem x gn! human reader) (reader is human)

"i think it's working! i see their shape-"

"cursed satan! our blood sweat and tears are finally paying off? we'll finally see a real human?"

"kya kya kya! I'm so excited!"

your ears ring loudly, your hands clutching the sides of your head as you let out a soft whimper. what the hell just happened?! one moment you were in your room lazing around, the next a magic ring formed below you and now you're... in hell?

is this hell? did you die?

you weren't quite sure if it was. it certainly looked dark and eerie with the current setting you wer ein Right now having skulls everywhere. but seeing the horribly demonic creatures in front of you talk in minecraft enchantment table confirmed everything you suspected.

that you were dead. probably.

"u-um... am i dead-"

"huzzah! the human has been summoned! they're so tiny!"

"oh my satan below! look at them..! they look just like an angel..."

"kya! i want to eat them! look at their confused face!"

you stare at the three demons who were surrounding you, blinking slowly before you let out a shaky sigh. were they talking about how many sins you've committed? the amount of times you jerked off to fictional characters? is that what the book in their hands were? a list of all your wrong doings?

you immediately submerged yourself in a depressive state, frowning as you begin to silently regret all your life choices up until now. damn it, you should've jerked off one last time before you died-

meanwhile, the demons were discussing what dinner they should give you.

"kya! do you think that the human will enjoy goat broth with human meat?"

"no no! allow them to eat elven tarts first! those are nice!"

"you fools, we should ask them first."

one of the demons mumble, arms crossed across his toned chest before the other two demons nod excitedly, turning towards you. their grimoire was immediately throw away, hitting a poor skull off the shelf.

oof.

anyway!

"ahem... human, allow us to introduce ourselves... we are-"

"kya! demons!"

"yes! and we're so excited to have you here!"

"worry not, you aren't dead. we just summoned you because we wanted to have a human for our experiment."

the three of them suddenly talk in english, eagerly looking down at you with wide grins. you wouldn't have been so thrown off if not for the fact that their teeth were so sharp and they looked like they were about to chop you up for their so called 'experiment'.

you gulp nervously, opening your mouth to ask them what type of experiment. but it looks like they read your mind or something.

"kya! it's a love experiment! don't worry!"

"yes! don't you worry too much cute human! we will never ever hurt you! maybe love you too much though..."

"mn, that's right. we are just conducting an experiment..."

the calmer of the three pauses mid sentence, approaching you as he suddenly bends down to your height, his demonic appearance closing in on your face. your heart races, feeling his hot breath on your skin before you feel your mind go blank at his words.

"where we see how long it takes for a human to fall for three demons. specifically three that are obsessed with said human already."

...

huh?

just... what the hell was going on?!

[naiadic]

I have so many emotions about the finale but I also have thoughts

~~~~~~~SPOILERS~~~~~~~

First off, AAAA HES SO BABYGIRL, but more importantly he implies he was with Eve, too

Now admittedly, what he "had to offer" could have just been free will and the fruit of knowledge, but given the sexual vibe here I really want to believe this man got busy with Eve as well

But that also raises the question..

...we know Lilith is Charlie's mother, but was Lilith really the one that raised her? In almost every mention of Lilith we see her horns, but not in those family photos (or her finale scene, come to think of it...)

Plus I mean we have this whole hair thing going on, Lilith is usually shown to have swooped back hair, like a lil pompadour deal, while Eve has straight unstyled hair. Idk about you but it sure looks like Lilith loved and cared about charlie, but somewhere in there Eve came in and started being Bad Mom

i think there's a lot to be uncovered there. Somehow, somewhere the girls must be pulling a twin-switcharoo on us, I Just KNOW IT

Then we have Adam

I feel like its almost guaranteed that fucker is gonna pop up in hell, hiding for awhile or otherwise, just like Sir Pentious popped up in heaven after dying. They're both human souls! He's committed pretty much every sin during his time in heaven (pride, lust, and wrath being the most prevalent) and if sinners can rise by doing well, angels can fall by doing bad

Then..well...Alastor.

Honestly homeboy is still quite a mystery. It's clear to me he's made a soul contract that binds his powers, somehow making him weaker than he could be. Whether this was with Lilith or someone else is up for debate, but most fans think it was Lil herself.

One piece of possible evidence for this is in E1 when Zestial mentions rumors of Alastor "falling to holy arms". He says this BEFORE any mention of Charlie, too.

Personally, I think Alastor might not even be a human soul, or that he's somehow made a deal with himself for better control of his soul, and maybe he fucked it up somehow or had another deal impact it, just because of what he said during the finale about sinner's recognizing their full potential. I look forward to seeing his story play out!

(Also I wonder if he has some sort of power bank deal cuz that cut healed suspiciously quick once he got to all that green light...maybe he's got an item that lets him access bits of his greater power? And repair that staff of his?)

So yeah that concludes my rant, Im so fucking excited for S2

EDIT: Someone pointed out that Sir Pentious wasnt killed by an angelic weapon, but by a power blast if sorts (plus we dont SEE him physically die). That makes me wonder if he might've simply ascended at the last moment rather than specifically dying and then respawning...if that's the case maybe Adam won't return..

[punkpandapatrixk]

🏖Your Own Standards of Beauty ♦︎ Timeless Pick A Card

I’ve seen one too many times East Asian YouTubers, when talking about EA’s ‘rigid standards of beauty’ giving this sense of defensiveness or helplessness—because it’s culture, right? With every fibre of my mixed ancestry I loathed that particular brand of apologist behaviour.

‘Nature is busy creating absolutely unique individuals, whereas culture has invented a single mold to which all must conform. It is grotesque.’ – U.G. Krishnamurti

Up until fairly recently, I was still struggling with comprehending the thought process behind this ‘invention’ of a grotesquely small and narrow mould of beauty and conduct to which ALL East Asians must abide lest you’re a total disharmonious failure. After some long and hard rumination, frustration, accompanied by occasional bouts of repugnance, I think I finally get ‘why’.

Almost ALL people in East Asia ALL LOOK THE SAME!!! By nature!!! LMAO LMAO People can ONLY have black hair and black eyes LMAO Ahahahohohhahah I think these Asians were never ‘socialised’ to appreciate variety. Hahhh that’s so pathetic. If this really is the reason, man, it’s pathetic as fuck. Ionno tho. You think I’ve figured it out.

All I know is that East Asians must repent for all the sins they’ve committed against childhood, individuality, creativity, aaand society and Humanity itself. Yes, Humanity. Standing on the side of all genetically diverse peoples of Asia, such as the Ainus, Mongols, Uyghurs, to some extent the Zainichis, and sooo many other ‘anomalies’ who, in recent history, have been cast aside and treated poorly only because they don’t ‘fit in’ to the ideals and cultures of the main races of some purebred fucks.

For all I care, the part of East Asian culture that has birthed this infamous ‘rigid standards of beauty, and, conduct’ can go to fucking hell. If you’re the type of person who’s even the slightest bit proud—or defensive—of this you can go and fuck yourself. No one should be proud of that kind of a racist, fascist, repulsive, little bitch mindset. Are you a little bitch? I ain’t one.

I am a Supreme Bitch! Imma be myself and do whatever the fuck I want and look however I want. And if my society can’t take that? Those types of people—Asian or no Asian—can die on the wrong side of history! I. AM. MY OWN. PROTOTYPE.

perspective: Why BUSHIDO Is The Root of All Social Problems in Japan by Let’s ask Shogo

documentary: WE ARE X on YouTube (watch before it’s taken down LOL)

‘X challenged a conservative Japanese society and showed us a new way to be. They started a revolution, honestly.’

‘Be proud!! Be proud of yourself! We are!! X!!!’

deck-bottom: X(!?!) The Wheel of Fortune, Priestess of Ambition, Gold Magus (Johannes Faustus)

[PAC Masterlist] [Part 1] [Part 2]

[Patreon] [Paid Readings]

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Pile 1 – A Light of Innocence in this Insanely Debased World

playlist: silly playlist for silly people with rare songs!! by Rita wild

the TYPA beauty you are – Page of Cups

You are someone who’s known for being quite childlike. It could be that you do look young, but it’s mostly your mannerism. Technically speaking, it’s just YOU being the happy pill that you are. Listen, some of you tuning into this Pile could be dark and sombre on the inside—especially if you have a significant Scorpio/Pluto about you or if you’ve had a very unhappy childhood—but the way you’re perceived on the outside is totally bright, beautifully soft and pleasant, and dang, people really be liking your aenergy when you’re in a room.

You’re the type of beauty that exudes ‘purity’ in the most innocent way, no matter how you look or dress. You could be perceived as ethereal or unreal. otherworldly in a sense that you don’t seem to fit in this dimension. Are you an alien? Are you a goddess? Are you a fairy, elf, or an anime character? People may not have the exact words to describe you but you’re INTERDIMENSIONAL is what’s going on.

It isn’t just your physical beauty or the attractive way that you smile. People may not realise this themselves either but what’s truly beautiful about you is this VIBE or AURA that you generate from having a vastly pure heart. No, no, not pure in the sense that you never think sexy thoughts, what? Pure in the sense that you really operate from your Higher Heart and has very little ego driving your ambitions in Life~^_☆-v

effects on the world around you – Ace of Cups Rx

Basically, you just love beautiful things. You always look for beautiful things. And you make an effort to surround yourself with things you find beautiful in your own standards. And in a way, you’re also the kind of person who sees beauty in everything and everybody. You’re the type of person who sees Light even in a narc’s darkest corners of their blackened heart (if they had one), which is really such a beautiful thing but could also prove DANGEROUS!

It’s wonderful to have childlike wonder but it ain’t cool whatsoever to be childish enough not to acknowledge the presence of evil fucks. Bad people exist, OK? Very predatory and murderous people exist, OK? And it’s a spectrum. And you’ve been such an easy target for those on the milder spectrum of psychopathy! Babe! OMG You’re often drained of good aenergy after catering to the stupid whims of very narcissistic, histrionic, pathetic, selfish and whiney fucks.

STOP THAT. Of all the Piles, you’re the type of soft beauty who’s often underestimated and taken for granted just because you’re always so positive. If not ‘positive’ per se, you’re perceived as ‘strong’, so those types of people don’t even feel shame for constantly taking and demanding your aenergy. Keep allowing that long enough and your physical beauty could be drained out of you by the time your First Saturn Return jaywalks along and smacks you in the head.

keep being you, Glorious One – 6 of Swords Rx

Truly, you’re a silly angel who holds the power to absorb other people’s pain and gloomy feelings. But if this is your main pile, thing is, you might not have learnt how to release or transmute the negativity you’ve absorbed from your surroundings. It is paramount that you learn to call upon divine protection so that you’re shielded from the Evil Eye of those who are envious of your beauty and feel silly in your purity. Your Spirit Guides aren’t saying that you should stop being innocent, right?

A Soul like you is very rare in this perverted world. Some people might say, ‘They don’t make people like you anymore…’ WRONG. You’re the catalyst, if anything. By your example, there’s gonna be MORE people who are gonna be comfortable in their purity. Knowing that there’s nothing wrong with them for being this way. Fully comprehending that it is this world that’s gone too insane, and DEBASED. And this world has been this way for far longer than people realise. I mean, I’m sure you’re aware of how inhumane most people were in the medieval times LOL

Keep being the innocent and pure you, Glorious One. What you’re being advised to do is learn to set healthy boundaries from which you can still shine your Light safely. I’m being told that many of you choosing this Pile, due to your heightened sense of aesthetic, might want to have a social media presence or any kind of public platform where you’re free to share bits and pieces of your beautiful Life as a form of your Lightwork. Some kind of a lifestyle influencer?

I’m thinking of channels and blogs that typically share aesthetic daily vlogs and stuff like that—like nemui atelier on YouTube. You know what I mean; I don’t know what I mean XD

YOUR BEAUTY KILLS🔻����

story of your evolution – Priestess of Prosperity

a legacy of authenticity – Red Astronomer (Johannes Kepler)

Access full reading + cards on Patreon🌸

☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

Pile 2 – An Unexpectedly Romantic Dreamer of Luxury

playlist: songs like 𝑚𝑦 𝑙𝑜𝑣𝑒 𝑚𝑖𝑛𝑒 𝑎𝑙𝑙 𝑚𝑖𝑛𝑒 (MITSKI) by song with love

the TYPA beauty you are – 2 of Cups

Ah~! You are such a dreamy and romantic beauty! You’re soft, elegant, sweet and lovely, with a kicking spice for those who would get on your bad side LMAO You’re actually a lot tougher than appearances give but most people don’t always get this until they’ve gotten to know you. For the most part, at first glance, at first encounter, you’re a sweet goddess, who probably gets projected on a lot.

You really have an unassuming quality about you. So then, people think there’s not much going on within and think it’s easy to typecast you into something, with some simplistic label. People think it’s easy to figure you out and classify you into some kind of a dream girl who’s always going to be nice, warm and friendly with everybody. You’re not. You’re a totally self-respecting babe. Actually, you really hate it when people act like they know you.

When people act like they’re close, buddy-buddy with you, it’s super annoying and depending on your mood that day, you could sometimes feel this urge to break people’s faces. But you don’t do that; you’re too nice. And you’ve got a plethora of coping mechanisms to deal with how annoyed you are with your surrounding XD Good for you!

effects on the world around you – 5 of Swords Rx

First of all, I think many of you tapping into this Pile love shopping. Retail is definitely your therapy. Is this good? Is this bad? Depends, I guess. You tend to spend money gregariously or consume a lot of food, or buy a lot of aesthetic knickknacks, or buy a lot of arts and craft as a means of therapy. Deep down, you’re somebody who has a lot of anger or a general sense of dissatisfaction with the world you’re a part of and this rage, almost, needs to be channelled creatively.

There’s a perpetual sense of disgust inside of you. You’re keen to observe and notice how much Humanity is failing. Everything that is ugly about society and people in general disgusts you. That’s why it’s important for you to live in beauty or indulge in creativity. That’s why it is paramount that your immediate surrounding, that your own Life, within what you’re able to control, is beautified to the max. You could be quite desperate in this pursuit because this is some kind of an overcompensation for the beauty and creativity that you feel is lacking in the world.

Your aenergy is kinda reminding me of this quote by the iconic Edie Sedgwick when describing why she dressed up the way she did:

‘When I was girl of the year and superstar and all that crap, everything I did was really…motivated by psychological disturbance. But I’d make a mask out of my face because I didn’t realize I was quite beautiful…I had to wear heavy black eyelashes like bat wings and dark lines under my eyes. Cut all of my hair off and strip it silver and blond. All these little manoeuvres I did out of things that were happening in my life that upset me. I’d freak out in a very physical way, and…it was all taken in a fashion trend.’

In fact, I think all of her famous words here could resonate with you. You are what trend-setters and superstars are made of, that much of your effect on the world is certain~

keep being you, Glorious One – Queen of Pentacles

Really, that’s all dandy as long as you can make a living out of your pursuit of beauty and creativity. This about you is really something that you can utilise as a means of therapy, self-care and self-improvement because you really are an artist, one way or another. It would be wonderful if you could monetise your beauty and creativity in some trendy way.

If you feel that you’re not particularly good at any kind of ‘real’ art, then you can ‘serve face’ to help other people sell their shit. You don’t think this is smart enough? Muses are often people who don’t do art—rather they inspire Art in the minds and hearts of other artists. Truly, you are an artist; but those of you tuning into this Pile who feel like you’re not one…you are potentially someone’s Muse.

Luxury is yours for the taking. But a lot of people in this world pursue luxury and some form of fame for vapid reasons and that often makes people very unhappy. Your Spirit Guides are saying that you do have a talent for balancing modern money-making and self-care. I think what they mean to say is that, you can be the prototype for how people can be completely and uniquely offbeat whilst still maintaining a good work-life balance.

After all, you do remember how much people like to project on you, right? Well, use them to make Life a lot easier! XD After all, it’s not like their projection and labelling would be useful any other way LOL🐙

YOUR BEAUTY KILLS🔻💜

story of your evolution – Priestess of Luxury

a legacy of authenticity – Green Historian (Herodotus)

Access full reading + cards on Patreon🌸

☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

Pile 3 – A Ghostly Bitch Witch Who’s Quite Literally a Fucken Sigma

playlist: Everything Is Still Under Control by Mabisyo

the TYPA beauty you are – Queen of Wands Rx

You, are, by nature, magical. You’re incredibly magnetic and this ain’t even something you’ve needed to work on; it all comes naturally. If anything, it seems you’ve needed to learn the very hard way how to shield yourself from aenergy vampires. You’ve needed to work on your boundary. This is because it took you such a long time to realise most everybody around you was nothing but anklebiters. These were people who just wanted to be seen orbiting you because doing so would elevate their status or image.

Whether or not you’re aware of it, you’re quite literally thee IT girl. You’re also THAT girl, because a lot of what you do and just who you are is very aspirational. Well of course aspirational to the motivated ones; to the weak, lame-ass ones? Almost everything about you is irritating. And most people are really lame, don’t we all agree on this? So you may have felt like you’re really quite an unlikeable character. WRONG. Dead wrong. It’s not you; it’s your lame-ass environment.

You’re a Queen of Passion who’s been living in peasant quarters, figuratively speaking. You’ve been surrounded by misers who don’t even understand why it’s deeply important for them to raise their own standards of authenticity. Thing is, they can’t afford to be authentic. It’s probably not entirely their fault—after all, peasants are highly dependent on thee System. Not you. You’re the menacingly magnetic bitch witch of a system buster!

effects on the world around you – 8 of Cups

As much as you make an effort to be left alone, you magnetise admirers to no end. This is reminiscent of Greta Garbo’s famous quote, ‘I never said, "I want to be alone". I only said, "I want to be left alone". There is a whole world of difference.’ It’s true with you as well. You’re not necessarily an antisocial bitch who hates people; you just want to be left alone by gluttonous gossipers and silly simpers. You find it hard to grasp why people behave unreasonably in society, all, the, time.

You yearn for a more intellectual world where people behave honourably, which is quite paradoxical considering you’re often perceived as quite scandalous in your behaviour and lifestyle choices as well. For example, you could be gay or queer? You could desire to defy social norms such as ‘having to marry by a certain age’? You either reject social norms or you live completely opposite to what’s expected of your gender, nationality or age. You don’t like being told how to live your Life as if you couldn’t work it out yourself. It's YOUR Life, right?

It’s MY Life! My Story! Is what you say.

You’re the kind of super bad bitch that gives no one permission to decide how you should sail your ship. You’re at the wheel so you’re gonna sail the world however best you know. You’re gonna learn a ton because you’re not afraid of detours or delays or whatever—you could meet accidents, hopefully not fatal ones, but you’re going to learn. That’s what growing up well is all about for you. And if you meet the right kind of audience, your whole AURA is going to empower them to do just the same for themselves~

keep being you, Glorious One – 4 of Cups Rx

You are destined for an exciting Life. In fact, you’re meant to have an audience, have some kind of impact on the world, you’re meant to become some kind of a famous person. Could be a celeb, yeah, but in this social media era, literally everybody can have their own unique kind of celebrity, right? You’re meant to be seen, heard, listened to, watched, analysed (LOL), and learn from.

You’re somebody who’s rare and your perspectives are deeply needed by this world. This world that’s often blindsided by optical illusions. Of all people, you’re the only one who’s not getting sucked into the mirage of mass media and deceitful politicians. You’re the one who’s noticing where the lies are all at. And you need to point that shit out, spell it out for other people to see what’s truly going on in this world.

You could gain enemies, lots of them, in fact; but you are definitely gaining a massive following far greater than that if you remain authentic and courageous. Stay spooky. Stay scandalous. Stay gloriously YOU~ You’ve no idea just how much that Light of yours is needed in this world of long shadows. Keep your Third Eye open and keep your divine protection. Most people have yet to catch on to the one thing that makes YOU superfluously attractive: a courageous Heart that seeks to liberate others from the chains of their own cowardice.

YOUR BEAUTY KILLS🔻🧡

story of your evolution – Priestess of Luck

a legacy of authenticity – Green Magus (John Dee)

Access full reading + cards on Patreon🌸

☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

[PAC Masterlist] [Part 1] [Part 2]

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[divine-motion]

the thing about Handler Walter (his full christian name) is that he's a really horrible guy. he's a guy who's decided that he needs to be an extremely cold, pragmatic, paranoid man willing to use anyone and anything to "right the wrongs of the past" (which is to burn it all down and commit genocide, even if he doesn't know that Coral is sentient that is still what he's doing, plus i imagine every Rubiconian dies too in the Fires ending or are at the very least heading towards a slow death of starvation and such)

but

he's also really sentimental, something he's tried really hard to bury to be the man he feels he needs to be in order to fulfill the legacy passed onto him and Carla. this is why he ends up caring a lot about C4-621 aka Raven (aka G13 aka... the list goes on) and probably all his previous hounds too. he doesn't want to do what he's done to them - using them as slave soldiers, attack dogs to throw into the meat grinder as necessary sacrifices even though he himself is at least capable as a pilot. he lets 617, 618, 619, 620 and who knows how many others get killed because he thinks it's better that they die than that he dies before he can finish the mission. this then likely changes with 621 as he determines that they have a better shot at finishing the mission than he ever did and makes sure that they escape rather than him (also maybe pragmatically thinking "if Arquebus re-educates 621 then everyone loses forever" bc he has at this point discovered that he pulled god's greatest killing machine out from the bottom of the bargain bin) in addition, while i think him wanting to get 621 Raven to "buy their life back" and "undo the surgery, become 'normal' again" is a genuine desire for them to attain some happiness or so, i think it is also, mainly, a way for him to feel better about what he's done to them. a way to wash the sins of his father from his hands - sure, the blood of every other hound is on his hands, and there are still plenty of old gens suffering similar fates to 621, being treated like dogs and machines that can just be switched on or off whenever their Handlers want to, but at least this one made it out, at least this one could escape the Coral

and yet. asking them to burn Rubicon. is dooming them. history knows them as the monster who burned the stars from then on. there is no peace for a hound that chooses to carry on his legacy that he imparts to them.

sure, Walter is kind of, textually, Raven's dad. and he's kind of a bad dad. well-meaning and caring in his own gruff way, but still not great. i think he puts it himself best in the post-credits message, where he says "I'm sorry... and I'm grateful." he knows what a burden it is. and despite the fact that he gives Raven a lot of choices in what they do, it doesn't really change that Raven never got to choose to even go to Rubicon, the legacy is still something thrust onto them with little say in the matter. they were switched off by the cerebral Coral control device when they were being transported to Rubicon, and Walter holds the power over them completely since he decides when or even if Raven gets to be awake and about. i think it is very telling that Raven can and will take jobs that are specifically behind Walter's back, and that it's only once Walter's gone that they dare to go against him directly (or when offered protection by ALLMIND, who proves themself to be able to circumvent Walter's watchful eye).

that's not even to say that i think that 621 Raven hates Walter or anything! the fact that in the liberator ending, after he puts the gun down with the "you found a friend" line, Raven is backing away at first, keeping their eye on Walter as long as they can before turning to escape the Xylem being pulled down by Rubicon's gravity, all that i think means that they do care. the emotional core of that ending hinges on the fact they don't want to fight Walter. it's like how you kind of inevitably love your parents even if you know how they've mistreated you (not saying this is universal but it's what i know from personal experience and from a lot of friends i have that have been in similar situations to me).

but anyways. the point is. i really like walter. he kind of sucks! and i think we should explore the side of Raven that isn't slavishly loyal to him, because they very obviously aren't, or else they wouldn't be so comfortable repeatedly going behind his back. Fires ending is an exception tho since, as i've pointed out in another post, the one where you actively choose to remain nothing more than Walter's faithful hound

[thorough-witness-enjoyer]

The Witness and Why It (and its demise) Means Everything to Me (A POC Perspective)

Hey everyone!! The Final Shape has ruined me and has brought me to levels of not only grief, but hope, that I did not think possible, so I decided to give my thoughts on the different aspects of it that moved me to a place where I can be at peace with many things in my life and look forward to paving a better future!!! I think I’ll be making many posts pertaining to the Final Shape as a way to help me express my thoughts on how important this DLC was to me, but we will see!

Please note that these are just my loose, not fully structured thoughts and I’m yapping. My opinions are subject to change and I’d love to hear the input of others! We will be talking about subjects such as slavery, religion, black experiences, and personal experiences of mine!!! It’s very long too, so I’m sorry about that and any writing errors!!

Though I do not believe what I speak of was fully Bungie’s intentions when making the character, the implications and views you can take on the Witness do relate to what I will discuss.

I wanted to start off my return to tumblr with one of the many, many reasons why I have such a deep attachment to the Witness (Precursors and Dissenters will get a different post bc they mean the world to me too!!) , because truly, this entity owns my whole life. I think of it all the time, it lingers in my thoughts, my art, my writing, all of it. It has been so deeply intertwined with my enjoyment of Destiny since it appeared and has offered so much to my perception of the world. I do not think I will truly get over it and I’d be lying if I said I didn’t draw it every chance I get. It appears in every single thought of mine, it’s bad you guys.

I love the Witness so deeply because I have never harbored such a personal level of DISGUST for a character before. As much as I joke about it being silly and the love of my life, the very existence of the Witness revolts me to the core and the tragedies it has directly or indirectly caused squeeze my heart empty. This festering rot of an egregore SICKENS me as it is the beliefs that has robbed me and many others of family, culture, and livelihoods given form. My love for the Witness comes from how it instills in me such HATRED, and truly, we were far too kind to it in game.

For context, I am Caribbean American and have a tumultuous relationship with my heritage for many reasons, but it wasn’t until the Witness and its many victims that I felt like the religious imperialism that has affected my heritage was represented in a way that crept into my spirit.

My Caribbean mother always said to me that we are of this world, not in it. That the hearts of men are wicked and sin (cruelty) was embedded in existence itself. It is only when we give ourselves to a higher purpose that we will be free in the end from all suffering. To her, this life and everything in it did not truly matter for it was a temporary challenge to overcome in order to earn an eternity of salvation. A perfect paradise was awaiting us all if we just gave into the way and left everything else behind.

These were all convictions she held to her very core as she tried to shed away all other aspects of herself to give into this “truth”, especially her Caribbean culture.

She did not always believe this way, but to her, the island she came from did not truly matter at all. Those “wayward people” she grew up with were not worth anything and would die as nobodies on that nowhere island for their lives were not saved, even if they knew of the “truth”. In her adopted views, those people believed in false gods and practices (such as Vodou and beliefs that belonged to those taken from Africa and indigenous populations), they invited in frivolous wants of the flesh such as lust (with „improper“ attire and certain dances), and committed crimes that proved to her that they could never be anything more than what they already were (though she would be blinded to the fact that these behaviors are a result of hostile environments created by the systems established for slavery and racial subjugation). If she wanted to be fit for “walking the right path”, those people had to be left behind for they were lost causes who could not be saved unless they were delivered by the “respectable” ways of life. She had to discard her black mannerisms, hair, speech, and more to have a place amongst the truly chosen.

Religious imperialism has a long history of being heavily tied to discussions of race and colonialism as those who participated in subjugation believed themselves to be more enlightened than the people they brought devastation to, giving them an entitlement that drove them to force their way of viewing religion onto populations. After all, in their minds, they were doing the greatest good for they were setting the people they subjugated on a path for eternal paradise. There was no cost too high in this finite life for infinite salvation to colonizers and all efforts to convert populations who did not see this truth would be “necessary”. People would die or be forced into servitude in mass to support the ambitions of the “enlightened” ones, whole cultures and populations being scrubbed from the face of this Earth in an attempt to “heal what is sick”, to “break broken bones again to heal them right”. I think of all the generations lost to war, slavery, colonialism, and every other act done to deliver “purpose” onto others, all the people whose names will never be known because others used the breath needed to utter it on preaching of their own virtue, and I am left in ruin.

I think of how my mother speaks of those lost to destitute lives because of the social pillaging of the island as an unfortunate side effect of guiding them to the truth and I look at how her world view has been ruined.

My mother thought she was saving me by keeping me from my culture, my people, my family. I did not get to know the language, the customs, the land, but I did get to know how much my mother thought those were distractions. She spent my whole life trying to cement the truths given to her by the same people who left her island in such as state that she felt like she had to run from it, to ensure I would not grow into a person, but a vessel of the righteous message. After all, to be a person is to be complex, nuanced, and flawed and there was no room for that in the visions given to her. The complexities and human flaws that came with our culture would only distract us from giving our whole lives to freeing ourselves from the curse of existence.

The cruelty the Witness delivers with such gentleness as it razes civilizations, its unwavering belief that it is the objective truth and other perspectives are blind to this truth, the means it will use to get that “justified” end, its gut wrenching to me and all that has been lost throughout human history to ideologies that bear the same qualities. Its zealous, static nature that relies on circular reasoning keeps me up at night and makes me mourn what could have been if the unfamiliar and hard to understand parts of human expression were allowed to flourish instead of being eradicated for diverging from someone’s vision of what makes a life worth living. I see this big eyed vessel, incapable of growth and convinced of its own righteousness and my chest feels like it is going to cave in. I see its disciples and pawns in the faces of too many people I know and recall their stories in moments that remind me how poisonous what the Witness represents is.

The Witness is an evil that has hollowed out lives, homes, land, and futures, especially for those who come from heritages that have persevered against attempts to “rectify” them. I still grieve the empty life my mother lives and the people left to suffer the consequences of daring to create their own meaning. I look at the face of the Witness and think of the “burdens lifted off my mother’s shoulders” by those who thought themselves as witnesses of a truth that could not be contested with interpretations that could not be questioned. She prides herself on being a weapon wielded to correct the sinful hearts of men, but I just wish she prided herself on being a person because those who “delivered” her robbed people of color of personhood entirely.

The Witness is not a person, but the embodiment of these deeply rooted ideologies and concepts that affect so many. It’s horror, both in game and the parallels it has in reality, is far too grand and unfathomable for me to bear its weight on my soul and not agonize. Its very existence is monstrous, despite the understandable intentions that went into its making, and my stomach churns at the mere thought of it.

How many species in the Destiny universe will we never know about because their whole galaxy was used to get closer to the Final Shape? How many star systems were left barren because of the Witness’ ambitions? How many children, spouses, artists, philosophers, siblings, neighbors, and more, people who were something, became nothing because of eons of the Witness‘ justifications? Bile boils just thinking of it.

What the Witness represents has hung over my head my whole life and its perverse touch lingers on the whole Destiny universe, tracing many of the depraved atrocities in the game back to itself. It’s death in the Final Shape, at the hands of those it had turned into victims and left to deal with the repercussions of its influence united together, moved me in ways I do not think I could ever properly articulate. To see beloved characters I had given a decade of my life to come together from different backgrounds with different reasons to defeat such a heinous entity, I felt like I could do my part to bring others together, despite our struggles and differences, to rebuild what had been taken from us.

As a person of color from a group of people many still think are undeserving of life, seeing so many characters I have related to over the years say “I matter because I decided to and you can’t take that away from me” to an entity who thought itself so refined that it got to determine everyone’s worth strengthened my entire being. Existing as a person of color is bold in and of itself, but the defeat of the Witness at the hands of people who wanted to exist so bad they risked everything for it ignited in me a flame to be audacious. My existence and culture as a poc is unsightly and heretical, but TFS encouraged me to take on the prejudices of others by saying “Here, despite generations being molded into a “perfect” image and so many lives lost in the struggle to live personal truths, ergo sum. Ergo sum and there is nothing wrong with that”.

To me, the Witness’ death showed me that the stains left behind by social structures such as religious imperialism and colonialism can be overcome by people banding together to make the future different from the past. When we embrace the subjectivity of existence, we can create spaces for different views on life to flourish and reconnect with the nuances of this world. We can better the lives of our people, no matter who they are, not by abandoning all cultural practices and ways of life that were deemed meaningless, but by rebuilding our societies to allow for fulfilling lives and self efficacy for all.

My people no longer have to let imperial powers decide our fate for us or decide that we can be nothing other than the „nature of our race“ that they believe is inferior. Instead of looking up at others who asserted themselves as more enlightened for salvation, we can look at each other and realize there is no one truth to life, especially one worth all the devastation and cruelty placed against those who lived differently. The intricacies of life often lead people to belief systems that allow for comfort and understanding, alleviating the anxiety of possibly living an improper life that will forfeit a desirable afterlife. It is up to individuals to decide what makes their life fulfilling and what beliefs will guide their actions, for no one can make your fate but you.

My mother still likes to wear the patterns of the island and keeps paintings of island scenery in her room. She talks on the phone in patois when she doesn’t feel the pressure to be “proper”. She misses her mother because she used to make dishes from home. To relate it to Destiny, she still has the coordinates to her Lubrae in her pyramid despite convincing herself abandoning it all was for the best and there was nothing there worth keeping. I once thought reconnecting with our heritage alongside her would be a frivolous endeavor, but I hope that with time and understanding, the Witness may not have power over her anymore and she won’t look back on her disassociation with relief. Time and understanding will make our island grow and flourish, free to decide what it wants to be, not held back by preconceived notions of the worth of its existence.

Despite all the Witnesses in the world, I will persist on and try to acquaint myself with my culture without shame. The Witness is everything to me because I hope one day it desecrates nothing ever again. I hope the Witness becomes nothing at all and the cultures it has corrupted make themselves something audacious.

Thank you guys so much for reading!! I hope you guys don’t mind the vague language, I chose to spare some details for my own sake and to make the message more applicable!! I’d love to hear the takes of other people about this bc I love hearing people’s perspectives!! And always remember, no one makes your fate but you!!! Go be audacious!!!!

[olenvasynyt]

I don’t listen to Taylor Swift but here’s my analysis of Guilty As Sin? being Elucien coded

I am not saying SJM posting this song on her story is a sign that Elucien is endgame or that Elain’s book is next, this is just my interpretation of a song and it is not based in fact!  I also don’t know TS lore or her dating history, I only know about the football guy, and Matty Healy because I’m ex-The 1975 fan

Drownin' in the Blue Nile He sent me "Downtown Lights" I hadn't heard it in a while

Downtown Lights by The Blue Nile is one of Matty Healy’s favorite songs and a verse from that song is this:

“Sometimes I walk away When all I really wanna do Is love and hold you right There is just one thing I can say Nobody loves you this way It’s alright”

If I were to relate this to ACOTAR, this is reminiscent of the stairs moment when Lucien is leaving to find Vassa and an army and we can see this longing and affection for Elain but he walks away.  Sometimes I walk away when all I really wanna do it love and hold you right.  I think we are going to see her POV of that moment and I feel like it is going to be very prevalent in Elain’s book because Elain takes a half-step.  What does that half step mean?

My boredom's bone-deep This cage was once just fine Am I allowed to cry? I dream of crackin' locks

This could be about how Elain is being kept in a box in the Night Court, about how she might have been trying to love it before but she wants to get out, it’s not the right place for her.  She does not fit in the Night Court, we see this when she wears black and it sucks the life out of her.

Crashin' into him tonight, he's a paradox I'm seeing visions Am I bad or mad or wise?

Elain sees visions.  And people also suspect that she could be seeing visions of Lucien.

What if he's written "Mine” on my upper thigh only in my mind?

Mine is a song by The 1975 and this song is about commitment and questioning what’s right and having this assurance that love is right.

Looking back on 2009 When people said that it was raining all the time I see sunshine 'cause I know that you are mine

“No, we saw rain, you guys weren’t right for each other, but he still sees sunshine, because I know that you are mine.”  This also reminds me of when Lucien says in his head “I am yours and you are mine”. 

I'm slippin', fallin' back into the hedge maze Oh, what a way to die

This could be about Elain struggling to navigate her thoughts and the visions she is probably still having but pushing down.  She might be better at controlling them but her control is slipping.

I keep recalling things we never did Messy top lip kiss, how I long for our trips Without ever touchin' his skin How can I be guilty as sin? I keep these longings locked in lowercase inside a vault

Again, as I and many people talked about before, Elain could be having feelings of attraction and affection towards Lucien, her mate, but she is shoving it down.  

We've already done it in my head, if it's make-believe Why does it feel like a vow we'll both uphold somehow?

People often headcanon that Elain is having sexual feelings and maybe even sexual visions of Lucien.

And the vow is the vow of accepting the mating bond and she feels guilty of that.

My bed sheets are ablaze I've screamed his name Buildin' up like waves crashin' over my grave Without ever touchin' his skin How can I be guilty as sin?

Again, we get this idea that Elain could be having attraction towards Lucien.  And we got fire imagery too!

What if I roll the stone away? They're gonna crucify me anyway What if the way you hold me is actually what's holy? If long-suffering propriety is what they want from me They don't know how you've haunted me so stunningly I choose you and me religiously

It’s people saying “you guys are wrong for each other.  You are wrong, you guys don’t fit together”.  We see this with Feyre questioning why her and Lucien are mates, Nesta yelling at Lucien, saying “we’ll decide what she needs”.  A lot of people don’t think Elucien are right for each other but Elain could be thinking “we are right” but she is too influenced by other people’s opinions that she doubts herself.  “But what if she chooses him?  What if she rolls the stone away, officially bringing to life the feelings she could have for Lucien?

They don’t know how you have been haunting me so stunningly I choose you and me religiously

Lucien has been haunting her, and Elain decides to choose him.

[giorno-plays-piano]

House of Chains

Part VI

Pairing: Aemond Targaryen x mage!reader

Warnings: noncon, yandere, obsession, canon-typical violence, chase scenes, death of minor characters.

Words: 1.4k

Summary: In return for help to come back to your home world, you have been faithfully supporting the Greens to put Aegon on the throne. But when your promise is fulfilled, neither Otto nor Aemond are keen on letting you go.

Part I | Part II | Part III | Part IV | Part V

P.S. Finally, the long-awaited twist!

_________

At first, Daemon's face betrays nothing as if he hadn't heard you. You think he might consider it a joke as anyone else probably would: you don't look like a lunatic, asking to be burnt by a dragon. Hell, you went as far as travel to Dragonstone, to the lair of your worst enemy, for this, somehow evading soldiers and Rhaenyra's supporters on your way. Daemon surely thinks there is some catch.

"So dramatic," he muses, making an imperative sign with his hand to make Caraxes quiet, the dragon restless behind his back, eager to have you between its teeth. "There are enough dragons in the Red Keep. Why mine?"

You feel yourself trembling, droplets of sweat sliding down your back from fear and pressure. No, no, you can't. You must stay firm, or it'll all go to Hell. Daemon should believe your lies.

"I am pregnant with Aemond's child," you declare, loud, the sound multiplying and echoing deep in the cavern, and Daemon's face finally changes, eyebrows raising. "He forced himself on me. His payment for all I've done for him and his brother, I suppose. And I better die in flames than work for him again."

Luce whimpers softly against you, a bit of blood staining his grey collar.

Before Daemon can ask you questions and ruin your story, you continue, "Why should you care? Because you don't want me alive. You know I'm not truly a Hightower, don't you?"

There's a recognition in his eyes, and Daemon bows his head mockingly as you draw a deep breath, griping the blade harder so it won't escape your sweaty palms.

"I am behind the murder of the White Worm and most of her spies," you smile, baring your teeth at him like an animal. "I killed Ser Harrold Westerling when I found out he supported Rhaenyra's claim, and many others who thought they could fake their promises to King Aegon II. I've been spying, torturing, and killing your wife's friends in the Red Keep for more than 2 years. But Hightower betrayed me, and I'd rather die than give birth to Aemond's child."

The more you talk, the more Daemon's face twists in cold fury, his hand clenching a torch like it was a sword. Does he believe you? It is, perhaps, difficult to trust a word of a woman who looked too young and too feeble to do any of those things, but you have arrived to the Dragonstone undetected and even took Lucerys hostage despite the castle being full of guards, lords, and servants. It isn't a coincidence, and Daemon has always been too suspicious of you, a girl appearing out of nowhere and serving the Queen with too much vigor.

The anger and a thousand of other emotions in his eyes give you some hope.

"Burn me, Daemon Targaryen." You exclaim loudly, trying to make him act, your hand trembling. "Send my charred remains to Aemond as a gift. I'm sure it is a fair price for the sins I've committed."

"Why going such a long way?" The man suddenly asks, and you freeze, afraid you won't answer his question. "You could have jumped from the balcony and killed yourself instantly."

You lick your lips nervously. "I could, and Aemond would grieve me. But when he knows I prefer to go to his greatest enemy and have my body burnt rather than marry him, he'll be enraged."

Finally, you see a ghost of a smile on the Rouge Prince's lips. Yes, this is violent, resentful enough, a good reason for him to believe you. Mysaria's murderer wouldn't want to die like a faint lady-in-waiting. She'd want revenge. She'd want her betrayer to hate, not mourn her.

Daemon makes a move with his hand, and Caraxes crawls closer. There isn't much for him to lose.

"Let the boy go, and I'll burn you," he simply says, and you are ready to burst from the surge of adrenaline, your heart beating wildly.

He said yes. Daemon said yes, and you'll be going home.

"But please, burn me for long!" You almost cried out, too excited to keep calm and almost releasing your grip on the boy. "Burn me till there are only bones left."

Lucerys weeps in your grasp, but you don't hear him. You don't even feel the handle of the dagger in your own hand, eyes on Daemon as he smirks, recognizing a fellow monster he thinks you are, a daring creature dressed in white cloaks's robes and armor that don't even fit you. It is impossible to not recognize a woman in men's clothes, and yet no one asked questions when you boarded the ship. No one saw anything suspicious when you landed. No one demanded an explanation why a woman was marching in the Dragonstone castle among the Kingsguard. No one saw you kidnapping Rhaenyra's son.

Perhaps it is true you murdered Misariya and her spies. He knew somebody did. You are sure he thought of Larys, the slippery bastard, but tracking down so many spies in such a short time seemed very unlikely for him without someone's intervention.

Someone who could point at the right people as if by magic.

Truly, you are a creature he would never understand, but Daemon is not a fool. Leaving a dark horse like you alive is too much of a luxury when you are conveniently asking for death right in front of him.

The man nods, and you gigle like a madwoman.

"I'll let Lucerys go on the count of three," you announce, and Caraxes steps closer, his monstrous, clawed feet leaving giant imprints on the ground, and you feel the earth tremble a little. "Shoot the flames then."

It's a horrifying feeling, but you are electrified, every part of your body filled with magic you saved for the last incantation. You are going home. You will be back to the Tower, free to join your teacher and family. No more gloomy stone castles with their ice-cold chambers and pesky kings. No more swords, heavy armor, pretentious dresses, and silly jewels. No more spying and murder.

No more Hightowers and Targaryens.

"I'm sorry, kid," you whisper to the boy before you start counting. "One. Two."

Luce stills against you, color drained from his face.

"Three."

You drop your dagger, and he dashes to the side, holding his neck as if it bleeds profusely, but you don't look at him. Your eyes are on Caraxes and how it unclenches its massive jaw, fire building up inside its throat like in a forge of a blacksmith. It should be enough. Caraxes is not a young dragon, and his strength might rival Vhagar's. It will be enough.

When it unleashes its flames, the words of the incantation are ready on your tongue, and you feel the glow filling you up like hot air fills a giant balloon. It's working. Caraxes' fire is enough.

You chant, and you chant, and you chant until the world starts spinning around you, and the cave, the dragon, and the men finally blend into the great nothing.

________

Subtle wind plays with your hair.

You stand in the midst of the dead gardens of Babylon, surrounded by hollow grey trees that had dried up a thousand years before you were born. Their crooked forms don't scare you: you are far too familiar with the view, wandering here after each of your trips to the other worlds. On the contrary, if anything, it is comforting.

You have arrived safely back to the world of the Tower. You can even see it from here, its tall, proud form making you tranquil and nostalgic.

Unbelievable. You are home.

You have to wipe away the tears with your dirty hands before you can take a step towards it. You've made it. Soon, you'll be sitting on the red and yellow pillows in the great hall, listening to your teacher berating you for such a dangerous journey, eating barley soop and garlic bread, and wearing a long embroidered tunic and your many necklaces and rings. You will never see Westeros again. You won't even step out of the Tower before you feel whole again, pulling your old self back piece by piece before you remember nothing of the stupid, cruel world you have been a prisoner for two long years.

You are free to do as you like.

But when you make a step towards the Tower, you hear someone's sigh behind your back. And when you turn your head, you see a man dressed in black leather who sits on the trunk of a fallen tree.

__________

Aemond Targaryen stares back at you, a crooked smile spread over his face.

Part VII

Tags: @heavenly1927 @yazzzmints @devils-blackrose @lost-and-founds @kennafild

[mswyrr]

an object in motion wishes to stay in motion: corrupt societies and the Capitol adults in THG

I wrote about here and here that I think of Ballad as a powerful depiction of the acculturation of a young person into a corrupt society. IMO, the quote from Frankenstein Collins chooses to start the book with very much supports that view. Coriolanus is still in formation, on the cusp of adulthood. He's deciding who he will be and his choices are all shaped by his society. But I think it also shows us, through the adults, what that looks like once it's become ossified. The adults show us why these books are about teenagers and their agency in how they treat other kids, rather than the adults.

They've become such a part of the perverse incentive structures of their society that they act them out almost thoughtlessly. Even Highbottom, who hates what he's done, sees no other choice besides slowly killing himself with morphling as he nonetheless perpetuates this thing.

In that sense, while the adults are responsible for what they do in shaping the next generation--and, with Snow, actually helping shape someone who will make things worse--they're acting out decisions made long ago. They help create a future that is in keeping with the sins they, in their turn, chose when they were young. And it's all for nothing; within a short period of time, this system will become so hollow that a slip of a girl with a bow can light the spark that sets it ablaze. It won't even outlive this child they're shaping. There's an overtone of dramatic irony to all of it.

1-Highbottom is a morphling addict who is rarely, possibly never, sober. When he looks at the child in front of him, all he sees is Coriolanus' father. There IS a possibility for things to go better - but he's so absorbed in the horror of a decade of watching children die due to his idea (an idea he NEVER meant to be realized) he can't see it, he won't do anything but push things further.

He's given up on life and just drags himself through the day, lashing out at the image of a man he hates in the face of a child. He is not capable--he has made himself and been made incapable--of the self-awareness and inner strength to change this story. That's partly why his death has bitter dramatic irony too it: Coriolanus kills him with the morphling he was slowly killing himself with anyway.

2-Strabo Plinth is a war criminal and an arms manufacturer who refuses to really connect with his own son, his only child. If he did, he'd have to look at what he is and what he's done. In many ways, his son is lost before his death because Strabo refuses to see; he wants the resources and power of the Capitol and refuses to see what a death of the soul it is and how someone like Sejanus just... can't live like that the way he can. There's too much truth in his own child's eyes. Like Highbottom, at first all he sees when he looks at Coriolanus is his father. In the end, though, Strabo gets the perfect Capitol scion son he always wanted, a boy who would never challenge him or make him look at his own sins; he gets that son in the form of the boy who got his own child killed.

3-And Dr Gaul -- obsessed with war and the necessity of control, her only legacy to find and shape a child to make sure the spirit of the war continues as long as possible. She's pretty clearly neurodivergent and seems prone to sadistic impulses. HOWEVER, there are plenty of neurodiverent, low empathy people and/or people who are sadists who never commit any crimes, who are decent people. I can only imagine what being neurodivergent in the kind of society the Capitol was in her youth was like. It's the kind of society that rewards people like Coriolanus' father. For someone with her brain - well, I can see why she came to believe people are fundamentally chaotic and violent and need to be controlled. It explained the things she must have gone through and it justified her desire to inflict pain on others. The war, as she says, was a gift. It proved her "right" about people and it made her skills in science very important. Finally, people saw the world as she saw it. Finally, nobody could push her around. She wants the Hunger Games to continue because she wants to keep pushing on other peoples' trauma so they don't forget she's right and don't stop seeing her relevance as someone who designs weapons.

And I think it's important that this idea of control that she believes in is one that Collins references in another quote, to Hobbes' Leviathian. As I wrote here, that kind of idea isn't simplistically evil at heart - other people historically irl who had seen war and chaos have truly believed in it too. There is evidence she's not seeing, about how she's applying pressure and creating the "human nature" she believes is there already - but it's not as if there's not plenty of experiences and povs of people who see it too. It's not as if the horror and trauma of how people behave toward each other (especially if, for some reason, a person feels cast outside the circle of community and acceptance) isn't a real thing people experience.

However, I think there's a bitter irony for her too - ultimately, Snow makes the Games such a success as an entertainment that younger people in the Capitol lose track of it as a memory of war, an object lesson. He keeps it alive, but her intent dies over time. Someone like Seneca Crane truly doesn't understand what this thing IS, what it is for, not even--in the films--when Snow tries to outright tell him the realpolitik of it. The thing Gaul feared happens: people forget and "chaos" overcomes her beautiful, violent order she wants to keep alive in Snow as an instrument of legacy.

4-Adult!Snow's legacy himself is of failure. Unlike Gaul and Strabo, he actually doesn't have a legacy for someone else to continue at all. Nothing of the schemes and ideas he gave his entire life to survives to rule. The chaos he feared wins and, specifically, it wins in the form of someone who is able to break the cycle truly - if the Games with Capitol children had been allowed to go forward--and it's entirely possible they could have! That's the thing; they're not "insane" people basing their bs entirely on nothing, there's reasons and experiences and a whole social structure of very real rewards and punishments motivating them-- that would have supported Gaul's and Snow's beliefs.* Instead, they are repudiated by Katniss ideologically as well as practically.

Why don't any of them do better in Ballad? For the same reason 84-year-old Snow cannot and will not: he's already committed. He doesn't even really see what is possible in the now, he's so stuck in the rut he's made for himself. Adults can change, sometimes, but they find it harder and harder to as they walk deeper into their lives, build themselves and their identities and their material comfort around certain ideas and practices. They are responsible for their actions, but they also made themselves instruments of this society, serving to perpetuate it for the survival of their own sense of self and for their material survival.

That's why, on a meta level, the main trilogy and the prequel have to focus on the choices of children coming of age. Psychologically and sociologically, they have a period of decision and possibility - not without intense pressures on them, but with more flexibility and room to change than most adults who are already committed and most prone to doubling down. And it's important that what Katniss ends is the Games - and that is the key thing Coriolanus kept alive - not exploitation, not greed, not the tendency of corruption and cruelty even within democracies. It is a challenge scaled to their age, about other people their age and younger, and fits with Collins' refusal to do superpowered YA leads.

Beyond the scope of the Games, Panem finds democracy and change. But not certainty. That doesn't exist in history, in their world or ours. We, like Katniss, simply have to remember "every act of goodness I’ve seen someone do" and choose and choose and know there's always a price to be paid, so you might as well pay it for what truly matters to you--as Katniss and Peeta did--instead of living in fear, as Coriolanus did. Choose and hope.

*It's not as if there aren't plenty of examples of revolutions where that does happen. If the only reason you're being moral is because you think other people will be nice and fair and just if you do, that -- doesn't necessarily hold out long when it meets reality. Reality doesn't "reward" decency like that. You have to do it willing to pay the price and not expecting a reward - that's why Coriolanus choosing not to pay that price is human even as it is awful and why Katniss kills Coin believing she will die for it.

[miwhotep]

WHAT HAPPENED TO STURRIDGE'S FAMILY?

There is one question what keeps coming back to me whenever I re-read the White Knight arc. Milverton got Sturridge's wife and child - one of the police officers guarding Whiteley - kidnapped to make Sturridge murder Whiteley's family and tempt Whiteley to sin. But what happened to Sturridge's family in the end? Did they left alive after Sturridge fulfilled his task or did they die, too? The manga never stated their fates... so now I am trying to theorize a little over the case, which just goes back to Milverton again.

Before I get to business, I need to note something. In the anime, one finger of Sturridge's wife was sent to Sturridge with the letter what told about the kidnapping. There was no such thing in the manga and Sturridge even mentions that if he commits the murder, he gets his family back unharmed. So the finger thing is a change what the anime made - and the anime made lot of changes especially in the White Knight arc - while my analysis will be entirely based on the manga happenings.

Milverton is evil and doesn't care for how many people he kills for his plans - however, he is not your average sadist. He is not there for the blood or to have the highest body count as a villain, he is more sophisticated in that sense. Two things motivates him: power and tempting the good-hearted to sin and murder is a mean to achieve these, not the end. We can see that he gets people assassinated for two reasons - for his safety or if he needs it to a plan. Officer Fowler's death, who got money from Milverton to murder Whiteley's assassin in the prison ended up dead for both reasons - having someone at the police who can possibly investigate further and connect Milverton to the crime, and even more, because Milverton wanted to let Whiteley know that he was after him, using the officer's dead body to make Whiteley feel unsafe and paranoid (a state where he will more likely to murder Sturridge later). Now, let's try to look at the Sturridge family case from these two perspectives first.

It is sure that Milverton didn't need them dead for his plan - what about his safety? Would their existence make Milverton feel threatened?

Milverton's plan was to make Whiteley murder someone and publish it in the newspaper to put dirt on his name. One thing we didn't learn - how exactly he wanted the news go? Whiteley killed everyone in that house in one unstable moment? Or he only wanted to blame him for murdering Sturridge? Then who would have he blamed for the Whiteley family's death? Because if it gets revealed that Whiteley's family was murdered by Sturridge and Whiteley killed him for that, he would risk people feeling sympathy for Whiteley - since who wouldn't do the same if this happened to their own families? But Whiteley murdering his own family was also just not logical. (But somewhat plausible because all murders were done by the same knife.) We will not know the answer for this question so let me speculate on it. Whiteley going half-mad already from the threatening letters and the assassin's attack, once goes home and finds his entire family murdered, only a police officer survived - the one who could most likely survive an attack due to being skilled. Whiteley, without thinking through this, blames the officer and murders him in blind rage. Now that would be a juicy article what could turn people against Whiteley and make them lose hope in him, just like Milverton wanted.

Back to the question - would Sturridge's family being left alive threaten Milverton? If the kidnapping was done well, not necessarily. If Milverton's bodyguards who arranged the whole thing, won't tell them the reason behind the kidnapping, then their kidnapping can only be connected to the Whiteley family murder by assumptions, that they were used to blackmail Sturridge with them. But getting the wife and the child killed poses the exact same assumption. What if someone kidnapped them to use them against Sturridge and murdered them after they were not needed? So actually, them being alive or dead wouldn't really matter. Harry and Gosling usually hides their faces when they are on missions so it would be basically impossible to connect the murder to Milverton. Also, they are a woman and a child, who, in that era, were basically nobodies.  Even if the wife gets to know about Milverton, she couldn't do anything against him. Milverton doesn't kill his blackmail victims - the Lady Eva type of blackmail victims he uses their secrets against - who gets to know about Milverton's dark side either, because they wouldn't pose a threat and powerless against him. Just like the woman and the child.

Another possibility - did Milverton actually need to kidnap Sturridge's family? He just needed Sturridge to think that they were kidnapped. Sturridge wasn't home for days because of protecting Whiteley, if Harry and Gosling lured them out of the house somewhere, so Sturridge will find his home empty after he goes to check if the letter he got says the thruth. That would leave absolutely no trace what would make anyone go that Sturridge murdered Whiteley's family.

(Additional thought here - what happened with the other police officer, Robinson? The public later only talked about one dead officer, Sturridge. Robinson's job was to guard Whiteley outside, while Sturridge guarded Whiteley's family. However, Robinson didn't accompany Whiteley to Milverton, we last see him at the house where Whiteley parted ways with him after Patterson's report. So either Robinson went back to the police for some reason or he stayed at the house. In that case, he probably also got murdered by Sturridge. We can see signs of a big fight outside the house. Sturridge was either fighting with Marcus or with Robinson - but those heavy vases broke into pieces in that fight, so either Marcus is much stronger than he seems or his fighting partner was truly Robinson. However, Sturridge only confessed three murders to Whiteley - but when Whiteley asks about his family. Both options are possible, but I would say Robinson truly went back to the police before the murder happened and he survived. There is still only one dead police officer mentioned later.)

There is another thing to note regarding the kidnapping. When Harry and Gosling went to report to Milverton that everything is in order... and Gosling still wears the helmet he uses on missions. Gosling wears that helmet for missions, we can see that he doesn't wear it when he is just there as Milverton's bodyguard. So Harry and Gosling probably straight away when they came back home, went to Milverton's study to make a report and they didn't change clothes, that's why Gosling didn't put down his helmet. But if they murdered the wife and the child, they would be bloody - their method of murder is usually bloody - what would be seen on their clothes or they would change them and Gosling would take off his helmet. But there's no blood or sign of clothes change, so they probably didn't do anything what was involved with blood.

Third thing what we can see from the previous case with Officer Fowler is that Milverton fulfills his part of the deal. Fowler killed the assassin and Milverton sent him the money he needed for his mother's hospital bill, when he could have killed the officer and not send money at all.

Milverton is also said to ask a price from his blackmail victims in exchange to whatever love letters/documents he has on them they could never pay, he always make sure of this. (But again, we hear this from Sherlock, we don't know the fullf thruth behind Milverton's blackmails - now let's assume what Sherlock said is true.) Making sure that they can never pay him wouldn't matter to Milverton at all if he wouldn't feel a weird need to fulfill his part of the deal if the other party fulfill theirs. In that case, if someone can pay him the money, he can just say "no, I changed my mind, lol". So Milverton most likely also fulfilled his part of the deal with Sturridge - he returned his family, even when Sturridge was dead. And for some reason, Sturridge felt sure that the kidnapper will truly return his family if he does what he was asked, despite that he also expected to get killed by Whiteley so he will not be able to check if his family was truly safe.

After taking all of these into consideration, I would say Sturridge's family was indeed left alive - not because Milverton is so nice, but because he had no use or reason to kill them in the end. Of course, this is just mere speculation again and we will never know the truth.

[buckysmith]

Ramadan Special

NON BINARY READER

First disclaimer, I'm NOT a Muslim, so I use google and a lot of websites to write that headcanon, so I DEEPLY APOLOGIZE for ANY mistakes, please let me know if I did something wrong/incorrect and I'll correct it as fast as I can!

Why do I do an Ramadan special  when I'm not an Muslim? 'Cause it's only fair for my  dear friends from another religion to have the same treatment as my own religion, so cause I did an Christmas special, I'll do an Ramadan special as well.

So as a Christian I wish all my Muslim friends, a happy Ramadan, may all your duas come true this Ramadan!

Ramadan Mubarak! <3

Enjoy it D. and thank you so much for helping me with the intel <3

Oh and dear, if you're reading this, I was just as embarrassed as gromsko, much love  😂

Ghost:

- he knows that for you it is an incredibly important period, so it hurts him even more to leave you alone during this time because of his job

- if he is not in the country due to his job and has the time, he will call you just before iftar to either wish you a good evening or to be there via FaceTime

- if he is at home, he helps you during the day to prepare food for the evening so that you can have a nice time together with friends and family in the evening

- if you are not feeling well, it is not a problem for him to take over your household chores, because he has the highest respect for what you do for your faith and seeing you happy is the most important for him

- during ramadan he also keeps some distance physically so as not to tempt you

- he would even sleep in the guest room if you want it

- it is important for him not to do anything wrong and therefore he learns through you, other muslims and many books what he has to follow and what he is allowed to do and what not, which what  he can help you and so much more

- expect him to sit next to you, almost asleep just to eat suhoor at 3 AM with you

- he doesn’t give a something when you tell him that he can go to sleep early, he stays awake for you no matter what, no matter how tired he is

Soap

- as a Roman Catholic, he is familiar with fasting, however, it was a surprise to him how big the difference are

- he was a bit confused at the beginning, not knowing exactly what he could and could not do.

- when he found out that you were going to fast for a month and therefore abstain from water and food for a month, he was already panic-stricken that you would die because of the dehydration.

- however the fear subsided after you explained it to him and he felt really stupid

- if he is not at home during ramadan because of his job, he will make sure you are near your family/friends or that you can go to his family to break the fast

- he is a really good cook and his dishes are always very good, he doesn't like spicy food but he will cook anything for you, you just have to tell him what you want.

- if you are not feeling well during Ramadan, he will make sure that he can at least make your life more comfortable

- but expect him to avoid you physically like the plague itself

- he loves you too much and has too little self control to keep the relationship between you "normal" so he tries to have as little physical contact as possible, after all he doesn't want you to commit a sin or anything like that

- while you are fasting, he is also fasting while he is at home, he thinks it is unfair that only you are fasting and so he goes along with it

- but if he goes on a mission he apologizes a thousand times for not fasting as well.

Alejandro

- he is quite awkward at the beginning concerning the topic.

- México isn't a country with  many muslims and therefore he simply lacks the knowledge.

- however, it is important to him that you know that he supports you in every aspect of your life.

- accordingly he learns a lot about your religion to not look completely stupid

- but he was really awkward the first time

- he did not know what he is allowed to do and what not

- in his base there was always music playing, when he found out that you were not allowed to listen to music among other things, he made sure that as soon as you entered the base there was no music to be heard anywhere

- when he found out that you were in fact allowed to listen to music, he felt so stupid and you teased him about it endlessly

- he even arranged for you to have your own little room on the base, which looked towards Mecca, where you could pray in peace, if you ever spent a longer time on the base

- he also tried not to drink or eat in front of you, nor to say any swear words in that time

- he would also gladly do the cooking for you if it was too much for you and you needed time to rest or pray.

- he avoided physical touch with you like the plague, cause he knew himself and he wanted everything but to commit a sin

Rudy

- he is a little awkward at the beginning, in México there are not many Muslims he could have learned from, so it is new territory for him to learn more about you, your culture and religion.

- The first time he experienced Ramadan with you, he was confused why you didn't have breakfast with him in the morning as usual

- he then offered you something to drink, which you also declined

- and when you told him that you were not allowed to eat or drink anything for a month, he died inside.

- but he didn't make a face cause he didn't want  to hurt you and just nodded with a smile.

- when he went to work that day, the first person he talked to was Alejandro.

- he talked to his best friend about how unhealthy it was to not eat for a month, but he was way more worried about you not drinking anything

- three days without water was bad, but a month?! How did you survive that before?! He was sure that you must be a super  human to go a month without water.

- he came home that evening at the time you broke your fast, and was shocked to see so much delicious food

- that confused him, he thought you were not allowed to eat and drink anything?

- after you explained it to him he understood and at the same time was so incredibly relieved and ashamed

- he also keeps his distance during Ramadan and the most you might get is a kiss on the cheek if you don't allow him to give you more attention

- but as soon as Ramadan is over he makes up for all the attention he missed during that month.

Price:

- he has traveled a lot in his life, got to know many people and many religions and is accordingly enlightened

- especially because his "adopted daughter" Farah is muslim herself

- he tries to be with you during this time, but his job doesn't allow that most of the time, so he at least tries to call you or write you an sms

- if he can't make it at all, he records a video and sends it to you so that he can be there too

- but if he is at home, he does it for you out of solidarity, because he was once not allowed to eat solid food for two weeks and was so mad at everyone who ate in front of him

- he even gives up smoking, which is incredibly difficult for him, but nothing is too hard for him when it's for you

- he is also an incredibly good cook, so you are not alone in preparing food for your whole family and believe me, even your family loves his food

- the hardest thing for him though was to avoid physical contact, because his mind quickly darts to something else and he knew yours was too, so he kept his distance.... Unless you allowed him that certain something after sunset.

Laswell:

- She has several friends who are Muslims, so it's not new territory

- she has already celebrated iftar with all of them, helped her friends to cook and is really good at it

- when you cooked together for the first time during Ramadan, you always let her taste the food to know if there was anything missing in the spices

- for that you had cooked all the dishes you would cook during Ramadan before it so she knew what they should taste like

- she also tried to avoid eating or drinking in front of you and also stopped smoking in front of you

- for her the worst thing was not to have as much physical contact with you as before, but she knew how fast your mind was elsewhere and she did not want you to break your fast because of her

Valeria

- she did not care much for religion, neither for her own nor for any of the others

- for her religion was only the strongest means to oppress people, because it threatened consequences after death and put pressure on people during their lifetime

- she saw it as the perfect means to control people the way you wanted to

- however, she knew that you were faithful to your religion and that it was important to you, which she did not understand, but she accepted it for you

- she also made sure that you had a quiet place in her villa where you could pray in peace

- the principle of fasting was not really understandable to her but it did not make much difference to her since you usually ate something after sunset anyway

- although she is not a fan of religion, she still tries to be there for you and support you

- what really annoys her is that she has to stay physically at a distance

König

- a few of his old colleagues were Muslims, which is why he partly noticed it, but other religions did not interest him very much

- his religion was more than enough for him, he didn't need to know anything about others, after all his was already too much for him!

- However, this changes when you told him about your religion, explained it to him and why you are fasting and all the other things.

- he listens to you attentively and tries to remember as much of it as possible

- he has the highest respect for you that you manage not to drink or eat anything during the day for a month, he had tried it for five days

- the food had been an easy one, he had had many missions where he had no food for a long time, but drinking had been the problem for him

- he could not do without water during the day

- the worst thing for him was that when he was at home he couldn't have that much physical contact with you anymore

- but after Ramadan he will make up for all the physical contact he missed, so be prepared.

Makarov

- for him religion is only a means to legally oppress people to make them compliant without getting violent

- he likes the principle of religion itself, because in his opinion it makes people stick to something for centuries

- For him, it's the same thing he did to people

- when you told him that you were going to fast, he was confused and didn't really understand

- you had to explain it to him and you could see in his face that he was not the biggest fan of it

- according to him it was just impossible to know if you had time to eat at night, after all you lived with him

- however, when he saw that it hurt you the way he treated your religion, he made sure that you could fully concentrate on your religion during this time

- he tries to support you in his own way, which may not always be correct but he tries his best

Gromsko

- he himself had a few colleagues who were Muslims and with whom he celebrated iftar, but only when you lived with him did he really realize what it actually meant

- he made you a Ramadan calendar like you made him an Advent calendar at Christmas

- he filled it with things he knew you would like, different sweets and a lot of other stuff

- he also helped you with cooking or did all the housework when you were not feeling well

- he also helped you cook and prepare for breaking the fast

- he found out of his own that you were not allowed to listen to music, he made sure that there wasn’t music playing anywhere

- that confused you, cause he was always listing to some Taylor swift song and when you asked him about it he told you confused himself that you weren’t allowed to listen to music, which made you giggle

- you told him that you were allowed to listen to it, but that you had to avoid it a bit, to focus more on praying and your religion

- he was SOO embarrassed that he had misunderstood it

- he helped and supported you wherever he could

[sarasade]

Part of me almost hopes that Viren's story arc will end in a disproportionately cruel way, you know.

I'm just so tired of seeing a character doing one good thing before they die or trying to change before they die and instead of the audience taking that as purposeful ambiguity the discussion will center around if the character was "Redeemed".

But imagine if he was punished so harshly that even the Viren haters would feel bad for him. Now that would be interesting! I've seen some dark speculation around season 5 so I'm looking forward to seeing how the show will contextualise his arc.

I don't understand why "Redemption" is such a popular talking point when centering villains (ok I actually do. I'm looking at you, Zuko).

"Sin and Atonement" and "Redemption" are deeply Christian themes. I don't think those should be a universal frame of reference to all stories.

Yes, yes, this is more of a fandom problem, not a show problem. But if people want to see a bad character harshly punished for their crimes maybe they should get that for once. I don't really mind because I think Viren, while unlikeable, is a sympathetic character already. Of course I feel for a character even if they are "irredeemable". That's what stories are for.

I don't mean it's a completely useless way to look at art but it's just- I don't know- I'm bored? Especially YouTube commentators talk about redemption constantly instead of engaging with the themes that actually are there.

Sometimes villains can't even really make up for everything they have done, just like some people in real life. Viren has committed so many crimes- like how do you even fix that? However it'd still be interesting if he tried to change. That's what I'm here for. Like Viren and Claudia are not just an antagonistic counterforce to our heros but they have a lot of going on as unique characters.

Viren has his saviour complex and values domination over cooperation. Claudia is interesting because she's both the victim and the perpetrator. It's interesting how self-sufficient she is while being deeply emotionally codependent on Viren. She has a ton of agency as a physically (magically?) strong person but not a ton of agency as an independent, emotionally strong individual. Viren and Claudia love each other but it's isolating kind of love where they don't really have anyone else but each other (Terry is really trying to get in there. Like sorry Terry you don't know how fucked up these two are lmao).

No wonder it was so easy to Aaravos take Viren's place as an authority figure in Claudia's life after Viren died. Or at least that's what I took away from Lost Child short and TDP season 4 in general.

I still think about the first information we got outside Viren and Claudia's POV about Aaravos's mirror: Runaan's warning about "A Fate Worse Than Death".

This framing device sounds really important. I've been wondering how it'll play out eventually. Is it something about Viren losing his old life he worked so hard to build, or will he lose Claudia in some metaphorical or literal way? Is it something even more personal?

Personally, I'd love to see Viren live and change as a person. There are plenty of high-fantasy male characters like him who go through that kind of transformation: Guts from Berserk, Geralt of Rivia, Jaime from GoT, Ged the Wizard... You know, characters who realise that the things they value are unsustainable or even harmful to themselves and to people around them and even to the world as a whole. Or they realise that superficial things like status and power are unfulfilling and only serve status quo. There are some parallels to toxic masculinity/ hegemonic masculinity, too.

However, I think it'd be interesting if Viren's story will be a deeply tragic one. Anyway I'm here for this.

[his-lost-one]

i have so much anger towards the blue fairy on behalf of so many characters.

here’s a little non-complete list of the characters whose lives she messed with (in no particular order):

tinkerbell: tinkerbell committed the grave sin of trying to help regina (who was not yet evil at this point in time) and blue punished her for that because of the bad people regina was surrounded with. and sure maybe tink shouldn’t have stolen the fairy dust to help, but like she didn’t even take much and we’ve seen how big the bags are that they have of it, i doubt that made any real difference. and yet blue took away tink’s wings for breaking a rule while trying to help an abuse victim oof

regina: at the time that blue refused to let tinkerbell help her, regina was an abuse victim who had never actually hurt anyone (yet). but because of her mother and rumple trying to manipulate her, blue didn’t think she was worthy of being saved. HELLO?? (also if she had allowed tink to help regina, they might not have had such a falling out and maybe tink would’ve kept trying and maybe she’d have succeeded- do you know how many lives that could’ve saved??????)

fiona: objectively, it was stupid to tell fiona that rumple is destined to be a savior, of course she would want to protect her kid. yes, fiona did go too far with the whole shears of destiny thing, but honestly we have no reason to believe that fiona would’ve actually been dangerous to anyone if she hadn’t been banished. she just wanted to protect her son

malcolm/pan: if blue hadn’t lied to him about why fiona was gone, he never would’ve despised rumple as much as he did. and it stands to argue, he might not even have ended up abandoning rumple. his life could’ve gone completely differently tbh

rumple: blue caused him to grow up without parents who would have stayed around if she hadn’t interfered, blue is the reason he ended up separated from baelfire (because of the bean)

baelfire: is blue hadn’t given him that bean with the promise of basically everything he was yearning for, he wouldn’t have ended up in the land without magic where pan’s shadow got him and then he wouldn’t have been stuck against his will for like 200 years on neverland

emma swan: if blue hadn’t lied about the closet’s capacity, then emma could’ve gone through with her mother and she wouldn’t have the trauma of her time in the system and from feeling abandoned all her life

pinocchio: if blue hadn’t lied about the closet’s capacity he wouldn’t have been tasked to take care of a NEWBORN at age 7 and he wouldn’t have been separated for his father during most of his formative years

gepetto/marco: i know he partially brought this on himself by making blue lie, but if she hadn’t done that, then he never would’ve been separated from his son for 28 years

nova: blue stopped her from being happy with dreamy

grumpy: ffs blue is the reason his name went from DREAMY to GRUMPY. like?????

and honorable mention:

archibald hopper: i KNOW i know i know he wanted to be cricket but like. c’mon. this is insane. she turned him into a bug. she came to fulfill his wish when he hadn’t even said it out loud, just thought it- which is fine i guess, but that also means that she could have helped at any point earlier before innocent people had to die?? because there is NO way this guy never once thought “i wish i could be free of my parents” when that’s his whole personality at that point like BLUE HELLO?????

[sorcerous-caress]

You’re so right dude. Imagine a Halfling and a Human get together and they’re besties they’re bros who just happen to have friendly cuddly sex and then they create a porno together lmao.

They upload it expecting like very minimal engagement and suddenly it blows up. I think it’s because of the versatility in both of their races. A halfling that tugs their human partner’s hair and tells them how they want to be eaten out or fucked or strapped then can also be a moaning mess within the next video.

A human who speaks seductively and charms the halfling can also be put on their back holding onto the blankets for dear life. They can be tender, soft touches and tickles. They can do roleplay: a hurt human who needs the mommy/daddy halfling to be nursed back into shape. A human friend who coaxes the other into their lap. They can go hard and sadistic.

Can you imagine the sponsors/donations/subscribers they would get!?

A noble elf who wants to be in the middle of that. A voyer who wants to watch the debauchery. Who wants to be the director. A soldier orc or a dragon born who wants both of them on their cock/strap. A demon or a fiend whose trying so hard to get them into a pact.

Same braincells! You’re a genius dude aldjaka. Sorry for me rambling, you can send me back to horny jail.

Off topic but I really like how we are embracing the "onlyfans" and porn streamers with donations type of content in smut. Because you know most written smut and novels still refuse to acknowledge the current culture and technology developments.

Like maybe sending each other dirty pics was something hot and risky before, but in today standards if it's not a frisky discord calls or timer-delete nudes then it just feels...out of touch with the current technology you know? Sex toys that sync up to apps exist and are very common today, and so are the many streaming sites and Twitter porn accounts.

So when a smut novel comes and it's supposed to be set in the modern age with our current technology but they make them use their phones only to what, sext or send a nude during work? It comes off as very tame in comparison to what technology is capable of today and how well it mixes with sexual stuff.

The trends in kinks change too, like before it was all about matching underwear and spanking, but today it's all about gooner stuff, mindbreak and oral. Back a few years ago, there was this obsession with squirting, then the pee fact came out, and everyone let it die slowly.

For example, if you wanted to tell how old the person who wrote a smut piece is, just find out how the smut treats anal. Younger adult generations are more chill with it as a normal everyday thing, while millennials treat it as something that hurts, but they'll still do it, and boomers think it's something more extreme than literal whipping bdsm.

Younger adults smut these days are more inspired by hentai mixed with unrealisticly thick pop star beauty standards, while Millennials had this weird porn phase where they pretended their porn was superior to everyone else's by making it classy? You know those black and white gifs and the really skinny boddies. That's why there is a push these days to present the porn as shameless in every possible way, it's a cycle and the generation after us will look at our trends with disgust and take a more "classy" approach and claim their porn is better.

Also it makes me wonder if people in 1800 also wrote stories like this but about being a show girl or something similar. They definitely did. Weren't there like sexting hotlines back when phones first became a thing where people would call a number and talk dirty to someone? Porn is always evolving my man.

Don't ask why I know so much about porn trends and history, that is none of your business I am well adjusted.

Anyway, back to the topic at hand.

Demons and porn are very interesting in dnd! It depends on how you view demons really, but for me I like to imagine that every sin they commit is pushed to the extreme.

So "shameless casual sex" is right up their alley, and you know who shares the same view but for different reasons? The halflings who see it just a casual bodily need between friends. Like yes you can be lovers but it's not necessary.

It is funny to imagine a bundle of sunshine and a literal fiend of hell having something in common, but they do.

The human is just going to their friends with benefits house, a cute little hafling with the most adorable riverside cottage sorrounded by berry bushes.

Smell of applepie baking in the oven is in the air, their hafling friend no doubtly is inside and the human opens the door and steps in because they have a spare key.

Only to be met with fucking asmodeus the arch-devil sitting on a wooden stool and sipping tea in a ceramic floral cup with strawberry prints on it. The devil from the fucking hells just waves at you while your halfling friend explains how asmo came here because they are such a huge fan of the videos you made and wanted to personally extend compliments.

Just the idea of great beings being so enamoured with the little human and their little friend hafling. A great ancient dragon leaving piles upon piles of gold and gems on your doorway each morning as their way to pay for your onlyfans subscription since the dragon doesn't have a credit card.

An angel shooting down from the literal heavens and breaking through the cottage wooden roof, rings of fire and 8 wings and all. Just to deliver their fanletter they wrote for you and the hafling, also a smuty fanart they drew. All 600 eyes look away all shy and flustered as they ask you to sign a framed picture they have of one of their favourite scenes.

[trlvsn]

Please I would love to hear more umineko thoughts from you

oh my god you should NOT have asked. i'm on episode eight but i have so many. do NOT read this if you haven't read umineko, you HAVE to go through the experience completely unspoiled. tw: incest, christianity, death, but none in a positive light

my most recent thoughts have been provoked by the riddles in episode 8 and how kyrie and rudolf had just told eva they do not fault her for any harm she caused ange. it strikes you as odd at first, because they would never say that, but then you realize two things: this is very similar to the golden land and this is battler's chessboard. battler already knows about sayo and what she wanted from his as beatrice, what she wanted from everyone as beatrice: recognition. she is a girl who used to follow god's tests so blindly and has sinned so badly. she wants people to see her innocence, know of the sins that harmed her, forgive the sins that she caused herself. that is, at the end of the day, what everyone wants, and battler is treating everyone like it, in honor of beatrice. this is a very difficult topic for me to see in media. the idea that every person, no matter how horrible their actions and nature, has a heart and wants forgiveness, is something i can't accept because i, too, am human. what would i be if i forgave and understood everyone? what would i be without hate and revenge and a personal view on things? if i accepted everyone's truths, there would be nothing of myself left. but the idea is true, and i have to know it deep down, tame it carefully.

my thoughts overall, though? i could never put them in one single post. this novel is amazing in many ways - it's a love letter to an entire library of books, it's a love letter to love, but there is also no good love in this story. there is fake love, true love, great love, but there is no love that is good, normal, because the ushiromiya family didn't have it in the first place. kinzo built this family on blood-stained gold and adultery. this family is like a locked room itself in many ways (god, they even represent it with the incest), and nothing good ever happens in a locked room. while i haven't yet reached the end of episode 8, i hope they all die. i hope ange never really survived the fall from the building, actually. i hope it ends, i hope the room exploded and there is nothing left of the ushiromiya family now, not of the gold, not of the love, not of the anything. it probably won't be like that, though. bern promised there wouldn't be a happy ending.

sayo's story is the greatest story i have ever seen a character have, no joke. "greatest" as in enormous in it's tragedy and richness, an endless universe collapsing in on itself because it can't, of course, exist with just one person. of course she did everything wrong, nothing right has ever been in her nature.

i also loved the biblical symbolism, of course. how could i not. the figure of god specifically is something so subtle i almost missed it, but at the end of the day, three girls share that imaginary friend - sayo, maria and dlanor. for all three, it's their father/authority figure/commander in different ways. sayo ends up burning kinzo again and again, commiting rightful patricide, and also essentially rebels against god by giving up on his test and befriending demons. it's a nice touch. i have my own issues with the demon summoning (i dabbled in the occult long before playing umineko) but it's just a technicality.

anyways, serious stuff aside - loved the toxic yuri, loved the fuckedupedness of it all, loved the fact that the narrators are NEVER reliable and you shouldn't listen to the game, like, at all, but also you should. i was frequently theorizing about the origins of beatrice during my playthrough and talked to my friend about it, who had already finished umineko long ago. at a point of episode... 6? 5? i basically said "fuck this, i'm not even going to try. shannon is beatrice, shannon is part of beatrice, kannon is beatrice, fucking everyone is beatrice. i give up" and it was really hard for him to, like, be normal. thank you [REDACTED] for not spoiling anything. i am on my way to finish episode 8 and obsess about the music forever.

[apocalypticavolition]

Let's (re)Read The Dragon Reborn! Chapter 6: The Hunt Begins

Another day, another chapter. Don't read if you don't want spoilers for literally everything that has ever or will ever happen (in The Wheel of Time).

This chapter has a Wheel icon now that Rand's embraced his destiny and ditched the party - and because Perrin will be embracing his as well.

“Rand is gone,” was all Lan said before he left at a run, but it was more than enough.

When Lan's hustling, you know hell is breaking loose.

“You’re from his village,” Masema said hoarsely. “You must know. Why did the Lord Dragon abandon us? What sin did we commit?”

You didn't kill those Shadowspawn quickly enough, Masema. Rand only hangs out with people whose DPS is in the three digits.

Min sat cross-legged on the dirt floor beside the door that led to Moiraine’s room, while the Aes Sedai paced back and forth in thought. Dark thoughts, they must have been. Three paces each way was all she had, but she made vigorous use of the space, the calm on her face belied by the quickness of her step.

Moiraine has got to be really tired of Rand going off her script, since she still has not learned that she does not get to direct the plot.

He made himself meet her look with one just as level and firm. It was not easy. He loomed over her, but she was Aes Sedai. “Is this of your making, Moiraine? Did you rein him in until he was so impatient he’d go anywhere, do anything, just to stop sitting still?”

Perrin is being extra petty here considering he understands her state of mind at this state of affairs just fine.

What I do, I do because there is no other way. He is hunting me again, and this time one of us has to die, I think. There is no need for those around me to die, also. Too many have died for me already. I do not want to die either, and will not, if I can manage it. There are lies in dreams, and death, but dreams hold truth, too.

Perrin is right though that Moiraine's holding Rand in place is why he's snapped so hard from the dream pressure, though in her defense she probably was not remotely aware of the level of influence that the Forsaken were wielding because the boys never tell her anything. Already we can see how the distrust among the light side is causing them problems.

“I’ll go easy when she answers me. Well, Moiraine?” “He is what he is,” she said sharply.

You can't blame Perrin for not trusting Moiraine for refusing to communicate openly with him, and you can't blame Moiraine for being pissed that she's still being treated with outright hostility when she's shown she's firmly on their side. That said, it is Moiraine who needs to change more, because the Aes Sedai attitude contributes nothing to the proceedings.

The seals are weakening, Perrin. Some are broken, though the world does not know that. Must not know that. The Father of Lies is not free. Yet. But as the seals weaken, more and more, which of the Forsaken may be loosed already? Lanfear? Sammael? Asmodean, or Be’lal, or Ravhin? Ishamael himself, the Betrayer of Hope? They were thirteen altogether, Perrin, and bound in the sealing, not in the prison that holds the Dark One. Thirteen of the most powerful Aes Sedai of the Age of Legends, the weakest of them stronger than the ten strongest Aes Sedai living today, the most ignorant with all the knowledge of the Age of Legends. And every man and woman of them gave up the Light and dedicated their souls to the Shadow. What if they are free, and out there waiting for him? I will not let them have him.”

And Perrin, for his part, needs to appreciate when Moiraine is being relatively open. It makes sense that she's frozen up a bit in fear of the Forsaken being loose, especially since she doesn't know that Rand's already been grappling with Ish or Lanfear. Sadly, Perrin's not really ready for the full understanding of what the Last Battle being upon them.

He looked at the others—they were all watching him fixedly, even Min—then hesitantly told of the one dream that seemed unusual to him, the dream that came every night. The dream of the sword he could not touch. He did not mention the wolf that had appeared in the last.

Note as well that where Moiraine's open caginess causes problems with everyone because they know they can't trust her, she's constantly getting surprised by their quiet caginess. Some real hypocrisy by the boys.

“My dreams are always the same, Moiraine Sedai. The groves, and the Great Trees, and the stedding. We Ogier always dream of the stedding when we are away from them.”

I wonder if they're true dreams in T'A'R and if perhaps humans who get too far away from the Earth have similar dreams.

What does it mean that he ‘shall slay his people with the sword of peace, and destroy them with the leaf’? What does it meant that he ‘shall bind the nine moons to serve him’? Yet these are given equal weight with Callandor in the Cycle. There are others. What ‘wounds of madness and cutting of hope’ has he healed? What chains has he broken, and who put into chains?

These are much more straightforward prophecies to intrepret than some, at least, referring as they do to the Aiel, binding the Seanchan to the peace, the cleansing of saidin, and the general societal upheavals he brings about.

Perrin grunted softly. The Stone would never fall till the Dragon Reborn held Callandor. How in the Light is he supposed to reach it—inside a bloody fortress!—before the fortress falls? It is madness!

Even ignoring the "sneak in" approach that Rand ultimately takes, it's not like he couldn't just get hired as a guard or servant who works there and find his way to Callandor. The people in-universe treat this sequence of events like it's a lot more paradoxical than it really is.

Especially on those who are—susceptible. I do not believe Rand did it on purpose, but the dreams of those touching the True Source can be powerful. For one as strong as he, they could possibly seize an entire village, or perhaps even a city. He knows little of what he does, and even less of how to control it.”

I guess this is a better explanation than wolf dream, considering that half the Shienarians have it. One wonders why Min was exempt though, besides the plot contrivance that she'd definitely have told Moiraine after the second night.

“There’s always something new from you,” Perrin growled. “Can’t you tell us what to expect once in a while, instead of explaining after it happens?” Uno looked as though he was trying to think of a reason to leave.

Uno wishes he had a pipe to study.

Lan looked at Uno, and the one-eyed man shrugged in dismay. “I bloody forgot, with all this flaming talk about bloo—” He cleared his throat, shooting a glance at Moiraine. She looked back expectantly, and he went on.

Uno should be allowed to swear more.

“Watch your tongue, blacksmith,” Lan growled, all ice and stone.

I'm glad someone will call out Perrin on his bullshit a bit because he's being very annoying at this point. You'd think Min at least would speak up.

Few women seek audiences with the Amyrlin herself, but it does happen, and it should occasion no great comment.

Moiraine, have you forgotten that folks already know who Min is? Ms. Unknown Power coming back after having disappeared with three runaways and making a request few women do will be all over the Tower within half an hour of her walking through the city gates AND SHE WON'T HAVE EVEN HAD TIME TO GET TO THE TOWER BY THAT POINT.

Once outside, Min hung back for a moment to address Lan with a too-sweet smile. “And is there any message you want carried? To Nynaeve, perhaps?”

Min, I know you're pissed at Moiraine, but don't take it out on Lan. He's relatively innocent.

Loial shook his head. “I think she asked because she knew what we would answer, Min. Moiraine seems able to read Perrin and me; she knows what we’ll do. But you are a closed book to her.”

Min getting constant supernatural intervention does make her harder to predict, it's true.

“Don’t be more thickheaded than you have to be, Perrin. Back there, right after you said you’d go. They were not there before. They must have to do with this journey. Or at least with you deciding to go.”

The question is, does the Pattern allow him to not go (and thus... end up at Two Rivers early and have to deal with the Whitecloaks stuff solo), or does the Pattern only give him the chance to go willingly and it's still going to drag him along regardless, just in a much more humiliating fashion?

“An Aielman in a cage,” she said promptly. “A Tuatha’an with a sword. A falcon and a hawk, perching on your shoulders. Both female, I think. And all the rest, of course. What is always there. Darkness swirling ’round you, and—”

The former, then. If Perrin hadn't gone with Moiraine, he'd either never meet Gaul, Aram, Faile or Berelain or at least wouldn't have them relevant in his life until later. Thank you Min, for having such easy visions for a change.

“One more thing,” she said slowly. “If you meet a woman—the most beautiful woman you’ve ever seen—run!”

Perrin won't, of course. I wonder what encounter with Lanfear Jordan must have had in mind.

Perrin did not like jumping to conclusions—it was one of the reasons some people thought him slow-witted—but he totaled up a number of things Min had said in the last few days and came to a startling conclusion.

His conclusion is that Min is in love with him. Perrin, to think you were slow-witted would imply you had wits at all. You take five days to come to the least plausible conclusion.

“I’m bound to him as surely as a stave is bound to the barrel. But I can’t see if he’ll ever love me in return. And I am not the only one.”

Of course, Min doesn't seem to realize that Rand definitely has the hots for her, so Perrin still isn't the stupidest person in this conversation. Perrin Aybara for Two Rivers King! Most Competent Man in the West! (By Default)

“If there’s no safety in Tar Valon, there’s no safety anywhere.”

Now you're getting it!

Next time: We finally get this show on the road.