#because i think this needs a tag cause i might do lots of these now
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kastheoryenthusiast · 1 year ago
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its that time of the fucking month again call me steve harrington at the end of chapter 15 of this fic because i am screaming and sobbing uncontrollably i am going absolutely Off The Rails and need to be sedated effective immediately : https://archiveofourown.org/works/49226149?view_full_work=true @bigskyandthecoldgun you absolute sick fuck. this fic absolutely destroyed me and i dont think i could look at seafoam green the same way ever again but in all seriousness this fic is genuinely like. so so so beautifully written. you wrote and adapted their characters so well this is like peak steddie to me and it changed me in a fundamental way i dont think i can ever recover from something like this and i need this fic to be in my hands right now. im gonna tape it to my wall. and then cry about it or something please read this. whoever reads this post i need you to click the link. if i suffered through this amazingly written masterpiece of literature im gonna make everyone suffer through it as well ill probably edit this when im more coherent and when my brain actually starts to work again cause right now its on overdrive and like about to explode for the 15th time but please read this i beg of you
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redjukebox · 7 months ago
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Me @ my brain: cmon man we gootta focus on this school shit and we gotta do all these things to ensure we’re good for the next quarter and we literally cannot be late or we’re so screwed and we reeeaally have to make an appointment like we’ve had to for the past 3 months pleeeaasee
My brain: ok but like what if Tick Tock constantly feels the need to move around, whether it’s moving his ears, tail, tapping his hoof, or even just talking to make sure that he still can?? Like bro was paralyzed and literally could not move AT ALL for at LEAST a year (at the very VERY least) like that must’ve done SOOOO MUCH DAMAGE OH MY GOD HE LITERALLY COULD NOOOT MOOVE BRO HE WAS 12
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neverendingford · 9 days ago
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#tag talk#watching media not in English is honestly so fun. my brain loves trying to pick out sentence structure and individual words#as someone who was obsessed with writing and learning codes as a kid it's unsurprising#I've realized that I very well could finally become multilingual and it's a really exciting thought#I just wish language learning apps didn't suck so much. I very well might have to start keeping a notebook for vocabulary#but I've been watching Puerta 7 and listening exclusively to music in Spanish for about the past week#and next year my brother and I are gonna take Spanish together at the community college once we move#cause he wants to travel internationally and maybe live abroad so language learning would be super useful#he's not as good with language as I am but that'll just mean I get to help him with it#anyway. I think I'm gonna dig out a notebook and start planning how I'm gonna do this#I really really wanna get good enough to read books and articles in Spanish. cause reading is cool and great and builds vocab#I think this is only possible now that I've been medicated for a while.#like. I wish I could have done this years ago but I accept the fact that I've been on a journey#and chasing your dreams is only possible once you're in a position to do so. my brain was too fucked before.#so external motivation was the only way I could make progress. whereas now I have the ability to internally motivate.#I can do dishes. clean my room. fold laundry. make food. and finally learn a language in my own way.#I wish language learning apps didn't fucking suck so doggamn much. they're really the worst. even as a kid I hated Rosetta Stone.#I needed to find my own way to learn and I'm still figuring it out but I will. I know I will.#I will be successful and I will chase the things I love in life and even if things go wrong I will work to improve my life#and part of that self actualization is learning the language I've grown up with and yet never learned. and then I can learn other languages#because I genuinely wanna learn a lot of languages. hell I taught myself a little bit of spoken elvish as a kid. it's in my blood I guess.#being monolingual is genuinely distressing for me tbh.#shit I should ask my sibling for book recommendations and I can buy something to start pulling vocabulary from.#for now I can pull words from songs or tv. that's a good starting point. even if I prefer the aesthetic of studying a book#except first I'm gonna fold my laundry and change my bedsheets#bye y'all
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medicinemane · 2 months ago
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I don't know, I get tired of a lot of positivity
Like yes yes, the world's wonderful and I'm so strong or whatever generic thing is being said (because it's always so generalized to the point of meaningless), but you know shit is what it is, and the only way forward is with changes I manage to make... which you're not helping with at all
And as for like... my internal mood, I'm deeply isolated, sorry if hollow platitudes don't sooth the gaping maw inside me
It is what it is, and I probably get my shit together enough to do stuff like teach out of my basement like I'd like, it's just I believe that I'll be alone in a crowd like I've always been
But positivity... I just... I kinda get sick of it. There's this guy on youtube I watch who talks about economics stuff, he's recently started doing positivity and... I just fucking know his personality enough where it's like sorry mate but I'm not interested in hearing you spout Secret light kinds off drivel
...I don't know, I suppose it boils down to this
One, I can barely fucking take in positive things said directly to me, about me. Generalizations don't help even a little... I'm a mess, I'd really like someone to toss me a life preserver instead of always tossing confetti at me while I struggle to stay afloat... doesn't help
Two, the world is a terribly imperfect place, and rather than taking a mentality of "everything will work out", I think it's important to acknowledge that sometimes good people live alone, die alone, and they never got the break they needed and slowly bled out
I think it's worth knowing that if you can't step in and help yourself, then maybe no help'll come at all
...I don't know, I suppose in the end the core of what I'm saying is a lot of positivity seems like self help tier stuff and... I get tired of that, and I see so many good people struggling and... eh... either I can at least come in and say something positive custom fit to them, or I can keep my mouth shut
Just fucking let me rot. Help or let me fester on my own, you know?
I got rid of the trailer, I maybe did something like cleaning though I can't tell... at what point will my pace on trying to make things better be good enough for people, and I'll be able to stop having people tell me to fix my life... as if I hadn't thought of that already
...everyone means well, it's just tiring
#it's like when people make you being suicidally depressed about them#I... don't really want to say some more specific details cause they might be able to pick themselves out of a line up#but it's just like... man... is this more about trying to get me in a better place; or about making you feel better#wears me out#mm tag so i can find things later#just seems impossible for people to not offer advice on things#the thing people never think of with advice; is that people living a situation often have thought about that situation a whole lot#it's like why... with my friend that's looking for theatre jobs; I don't offer a lot of advice because I figure they've done quite a bit#just kinda... offer to help the best I can and ask what they need; and then mostly just listen#it's not like I never ever say anything; it's just I try to back up advice with something concrete#like... for instance if I wanted to suggest someone do therapy; then I'm gonna be offering to help them find a therapist as best I can#cause I get that it's not like you just 'go to therapy'... getting started on things is often the hardest part#eh... keeping this as vague as possible cause I want the actions I took not the details#but when I had a friend who was someone who didn't treat them at all well#I didn't directly try to get them to leave cause I know that... it's hard; they were in deep#instead I just made sure to validate their perception of reality a whole lot#counter the literal gaslighting by just pointing out that they made sense and questioning how reasonable their partner was#and then I attempted to get them in touch with some other people so they were less isolated and had other people to validate them#and thankfully they're not with that person anymore; they're doing a great job at life and are much healthier now#...but advice... honestly I don't think I gave them much#I more asked leading questions to try and shine a light on things; or would brainstorm about what to do with various stuff#they were real stuck; and it was painful to see them stuck in such a bad situation; but... better to sit with them than push push push#it felt like if I gave them my actual advice; dump that abusive freak; they couldn't have heard me#it was easy for me to tell them the solution; but that didn't account for all the barriers to implementing that solution#in this case; many of the barriers were internal; but internal or external; barriers are barriers#I don't know... I just think sometimes you gotta be comfortable sitting with discomfort along side someone#unless you got an actual fix; and you're willing to put in the work to fix it... shut up about fixing and just be there for them#mhh... we'll take one of the only things I'm actually capable of doing instead of something more serious#if someone wants a minecraft server; I can either fucking help them set it up; or I can kinda keep my mouth shut#if I'm not helping them set it up; I can give them shit like 'that sounds cool; I bet you could do it'
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zyogod · 6 months ago
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The conquest of the fierce lecturer (Part Two)
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Tags: rough sex, blowjob, public sex, public blowjob, female idol x you, lecture x ex students, other universe story ,little threesomes, slightly humiliation
Starring : Twice Park Jihyo
4,130 words
Part 1
You looking at Jihyo face while your dick still inside her mouth even tho she seems tired she still manage too gulp every flowing sperm inside her mouth while keep sucking your dick slowly.
Minutes after you pull out your dick from her mouth with loud ‘plop’ sounds cause she was really still sucking on your dick, then you slowly grab her arm and lift her up “come on baby, are you going to sit in this alley naked forever or something?”
Jihyo gathering her power to get up with your help then trying to fixed her undone clothes and smiling at you while whipping her lips “you’re so rough even this our first day to be couple, I almost losing my breath choked at this big guy” She said with slurty voice while Stroking your dick and fixed your jeans.
You smile and looking at her “it’s just the beginning, lets heading somewhere else to do the rest” Caressing her cheek “any idea?”
“Maybe we can go to my apartment but I need to pick up my car first in university, do you willing to go with me getting the car?” She said giving the idea to go her private place, “sure there’s no reason for me to reject that idea” You said while walking with her with your left hand in her butt.
After a walking for several minutes both of you arrived inside her car in university parking lot, you look around there’s very quiet for parking lot in university area “isn’t this too quiet , last time I came here always there’s few students hanging around this parking lot” You said to her.
Jihyo looking at you with mocking smile “that’s because your era as students here just filled with bunch of brat and you’re one of that brat isn’t?” She said teasing you.
Looking at her and smirk because her words giving you an idea “so im one of bratty students of yours back then? Let me show you how bratty this boy” You leans to her direction and kiss her right on the lips with right hand groping her left boobs and left hand warped around her waist to keep her in position.
However this act of yours is surprising her since both of you in university area even inside her car, She was worried about being caught by someone if suddenly some security peeked into her car, that's make her force you to break the kiss and push you away slightly “stop st-oo-op Y/N we might be getting caught, I don’t wanna someone caught me dating my ex students” She said with worried eyes.
You just look at her and pull her even closer “so what if someone caught us dating? Im an adult already there’s nothing to worry about , If necessary I want everyone to know that I’m dating you and have you as my girlfriend, we don’t need to hide we’re both adults”.
Jihyo sigh and push your hands off her body “that’s easy for you since you’re young Y/N but it’s not easy for me when someone caught us dating and start to gossiping me behind my back like “professor Jihyo dating her ex students” That’s will be horrible for me , at least not now I promise you we can go public later, trust me I don’t have any initiations to hide you from the public it’s just still little hard for me” She said with pleading eyes.
In other hands that not an explanation that you want to hear, you was wrong thinking she will be obedient to you only after having your dick once even that’s only a facefuck, so you took hars initiative by grabbing her wrist and drag her out from the car then pinned her on the side of the car “you worrying to get caught when we make out inside the car? I think now you should be more worried” You gave her sloppy french kiss and rip her blouse making few buttons flew away and groping her pair of breast without breaking the kiss.
That’s make jihyo surprised and try to push you away and holding your wrist to stop you groping her breast , unfortunately easy for you to over powering her in this state
As she keeps trying to push you away with her hands, you become impatient and grab her hands with your right hand and hold them above her head as you stop your kiss on her lips.
“Just shut up and enjoy it Jihyo, there’s no one in this parking lot anyway stop resisting” You tell her as your left hand unbuttons her jeans and pulls her jeans down along with her panties in one smooth motion.
Jihyo became increasingly frightened and agitated at what you were doing to her, all of this made her pale “No! No Y/N stop this! I told you we can’t do it in the university area, if anyone catches us it could ruin my reputation” Jihyo said while stammering with pleading eyes.
“As I said before there is no one in this parking lot, be quiet and be a submissive woman Jihyo” You say as you turn her around to face the car and hold her head against the car window, at the same time you pull down your jeans and take out your big dick while rubbing it against Jihyo’s ass to build up your erection to be harder.
It's a dreadful experienceee for Jihyo as she feels the tip of your dick rubbing her ass in an open public place like now in her work area “Please Y/N be patient, we can do this when we get to my apartment, please stop this Y/N” Jihyo begs you through tears.
But on the other hand you who hear her continue to whine feel even more lustful, not caring about her whining you even rub your penis into her wet pussy even though she whines for you to stop your action.
“At least if you’re begging me to stop all this your pussy shouldn’t be wet Jihyo, you filthy bitch” In one smooth motion you slam your cock into Jihyo’s wet pussy from behind and immediately pump it roughly and lustfully, you can feel the tip of your cock hitting Jihyo’s womb repeatedly making her squeal between pain and pleasure
You have sex with Jihyo with passion and adrenaline that continues to push you to go wild enjoying Jihyo’s pussy which without her realizing it tightens every time you slam your cock into it, the sensation of having sex in a public place makes you happy and trapped in ecstasy for a moment enjoying the body of your fierce lecturer, you never thought about it before that you could fuck a fierce lecturer who used to always threaten you to failing her class.
Now you even fuck her at your own will even if she refuses you don’t care at all because what you care the most is your own pleasure, moreover having sex in public is very fun for you because of the adrenaline fear of being caught by people even though you honestly don’t care if anyone catches you having sex with Jihyo right now.
In other side Jihyo eyes rolling back to her skull everytime your cock hitting the end of her womb, she seems to be broken with her mout open wide facing up while her own saliva dripping around her mouth when she moaning “ah ah a-a-ahh Y/N please give me mercy it’s painful if you going too rough I can’t control myself aahh” She’s become muttered when your thrust getting deeper inside her, its making her going crazy and melted her brain.
There’s nothing to stop you fucking her more and more rougher, you keeping your pace and there’s loud clapping sounds because of your pelvic hitting her sexy ass every time you pumping your cock in and out her wet pussy ,
While you were drunk on Jihyo’s delicious pussy, you didn’t realize that a security guard accidentally caught you having sex with Jihyo in this parking lot.
The security guard just stayed quiet and hid behind a car while watching you fuck Jihyo roughly and vigorously.
The security guard became aroused by the sudden show you made with Jihyo in this parking lot, the security guard began to stroke his dick that was still hidden in his uniform pants while continuing to watch you fuck Jihyo.
Feeling tired of fucking Jihyo while standing, you pull your cock out of her pussy and let Jihyo fall limply down, you walk around Jihyo’s car and open the back trunk of her car “Jihyo come here I’m tired of standing, let’s do it here” you sit on the trunk of the car you opened while waiting for Jihyo to respond to your call.
Jihyo who is limp after receiving your big cock starts crawling towards the back of her car where you are sitting on the trunk “Y/N can’t we continue at my apartment, this is so embarrassing, let’s go home and do it at my place” Jihyo starts climbing onto the trunk. You look at Jihyo and grab her waist then lift her up onto your lap “we’re done when you make me cum, little slut” Then you align your cock into her pussy again
Your cock back inside her warm caverns and thrust her as deep as you can till you reach the end of her womb, you can feels her wall tightened and printing the shape of your cock inside her
Jihyo moaning loud , forget about she’s still in parking lot sitting on your cock and feels the pleasure you give to her “oh my god Y/N you going too deep and making me feeling full” Jihyo start to moving and riding your dick without waiting your order start to chasing her pleasure, not like a minutes ago when she was begging you to stop
You laying back to the trunk giving her space to riding you in reverse cowgirl style, in this state you can get a full display picture of her ass moving back and forth while she’s riding your dick “Go faster Jihyo ride this dick like a slut you are” You giving her few spanks to motivate her moving faster than before and making every smack sounds echoing throughout the parking lot
Jihyo moaning like a crazy whore and moves faster and faster riding your cock eagerly enjoying your cock until her eyes rolling back to her skull while her tongue sticks out “don’t call me a slut ah-ah-ah-aah ak ak I’m just enjoying my boyfriend’s big dick” Jihyo’s ass keeps moving back and forth like she’s possessed.
Seeing all this the security guard who had been hiding began to be unable to resist his lust, when he thought you would soon finish but it turned out that you were even more wild and uncontrolled.
The security guard began to think whether he should reprimand you or take advantage of this condition to enjoy Professor Jihyo’s body, which is very famous in this university as a professor with a large breast size and makes all men curious about what is under her shirt every day.
The security guard's mind began to wander like angels and demons fighting inside his head, between reprimanding you to stop or taking advantage of this condition to enjoy Professor Jihyo’s body, while seeing Professor Jihyo riding a dick in a reverse cowgirl position with her breasts bouncing up and down made the security guard’s mind even crazier “if not now, when else I can feel Professor Jihyo’s body? I guess it won’t hurt if I try to join them by threatening to spread the rumors that there’s a female lecturer having sex in the university parking lot” He muttered to himself.
The security guard gathered his courage and walked towards the couple who were drunk in lust making love in the trunk of the car.
While I only focused on supporting Jihyo's body so that she could move freely on my cock while occasionally squeezing her breasts, at this time all I could see was Jihyo's sexy back because she was riding me in reverse cowgirl style.
A few seconds later came the sound of a male cough that startled me, Jihyo suddenly stopped bouncing her sexy ass and her body shook with my cock still halfway inside her pussy.
"I guess you're doing couple activities in the wrong place, Professor Jihyo? And her young boyfriend if I'm not mistaken."
Said the male voice, I who was still lying on my back with Jihyo still riding my cock could not see the owner of the male voice who had just talked to Jihyo.
Hearing all that spontaneously I immediately held Jihyo's waist tightly and sat in the trunk of the car with Jihyo on my lap with the condition of my dick entering her pussy again, I began to pay attention to the owner of the voice and saw a man in a security guard uniform.
Until I finally saw his face.
Hearing all that spontaneously I immediately held Jihyo's waist tightly and sat in the trunk of the car with Jihyo on my lap with the condition of my dick getting inside her pussy again, I began to pay attention to the owner of the voice and saw a man in a security guard uniform.
Until I finally saw his face
"Oh my God, you're Mr. Lee!?"
I shouted with a feeling of surprise and relief.
Mr. Lee was a security guard who was quite familiar with me when I was still studying at this university, I often chatted with him and shared cigarettes when I was a student.
Mr. Lee looked at my face and tried to remember
"Song Y/N? That's you? That bastard who always smokes here with his asshole friends."
Mr. Lee finally remembered me
"That's right, how can you call me a brat huh?"
I replied with a laugh, on the other hand Jihyo was confused and agitated by my conversation with Mr. Lee.
Jihyo looked at me over her shoulder "hey let's stop this, it's not funny" she grumbled, while trying to cover her big exposed breasts and her pussy that was still filled with my cock.
Hearing Jihyo’s tone annoyed me, at that moment I grabbed both her hands and folded them behind her back and locked them with my left hand.
“Shut up you bitch, who said you could protest? Can’t you see I’m talking to Mr. Lee?” I snapped as my right hand grabbed her left nipple and pinched it hard, making Jihyo scream.
Seeing what I did to Jihyo made Mr. Lee surprised and feel sorry for Jihyo “Y/N why did you do that!?”
Hearing him talk like a saint made me feel annoyed “At least if you want to defend Jihyo, make your dick limp first Mr. Lee, or do you want to join me to fuck the hottest lecturer in this university?” I threw my evil smile at Mr. Lee.
Mr. Lee was stunned at my words, his eyes looking at me then at Jihyo’s naked body while swallowing his saliva
Mr. Lee was probably too shocked to speak, his forehead was sweating and not a single word came out of his mouth.
“Are you crazy Y/N let go of me, let’s stop this” Jihyo said as she tried to untangle herself from me, instantly I hugged her tightly and drove my cock deeper making her squeal.
I got out of the trunk of the car with Jihyo still attached up to me with my cock stuck in her pussy, and I bent Jihyo’s body forward so that her eyes were level with Mr. Lee’s waist.
“Mr. Lee take off your pants, you can use Jihyo’s mouth to satisfy your lust while I fuck her pussy, as a bonus I’ll let you squeeze Jihyo’s breasts that you’ve been craving for so long,” I told Mr. Lee.
Jihyo on the other hand tried to rebel at my words, but I didn’t care at all.
I grabbed Jihyo’s hair to hold her head, and turned her face towards Mr. Lee.
“Hurry up Mr. Lee, before I change my mind!” I snapped at Mr. Lee.
Mr. Lee who heard that immediately opened his security guard uniform pants and took out his penis which was only half the size of mine.
“Y/N You’re really going to let me enjoy Professor Jihyo’s mouth, right?”
I nodded at him “Not a professor but a cheap whore, quickly put your cock in this whore Jihyo’s mouth” I ordered Mr. Lee.
Mr. Lee also held Jihyo’s head and tried to put his penis in Jihyo’s mouth, unfortunately Jihyo didn’t let him in easily.
I grabbed Jihyo’s hair hard and slapped her ass several times to make her scream
As she screamed, I pushed her forward and Mr. Lee quickly inserted his cock into Jihyo’s mouth which silenced her screams in an instant.
Jihyo was now bent forward with my cock in her pussy and Mr. Lee cock in her mouth.
Mr. Lee and I tried to move in rhythm to fuck Jihyo together, me holding on to Jihyo’s waist, while Mr. Lee used Jihyo’s hanging breasts as handles while squeezing them roughly.
Mr. Lee hands moved to the back of her head as he forced his swollen cock deeper into her throat.
Jihyo start to panic while gagged at Mr. Lee cock inside her throat roughly, but that’s not the only problem she had cause in other side i was pound her hard, making loud clapping noise.
Jihyo felt herself gagging and for a moment couldn't breathe.
Just when she thought she was going to pass out, she felt hot salty liquid flood her throat and then felt relieved when Mr. Lee's cum slid almost completely out of her mouth.
Jihyo panted while trying to get enough air and swallowed the remaining cum in her mouth at the same time. Mr. Lee held the head of his penis right in front of Jihyo's mouth then slapped it against her mouth and face.
Jihyo showed a pleading face as she said "Please stop, you're really abusing me like an undignified woman" she said with pleading eyes.
Mr. Lee looked at me "I'm sorry Y/N, I came too soon because of the beautiful dream I had" he said as he continued to slap Jihyo with his penis, not caring what Jihyo said a few seconds ago.
While her face was still slapped with Mr. Lee's cock, Jihyo continued to whimper and sigh as I continued to fuck her roughly while slapping her ass from behind.
"Arghh ahhh ahh pleaseeee Y/N, Mr. Lee stop this, you're really torturing me too much" Jihyo said with pleading eyes while moaning.
“Torture? Really Jihyo? If you really feel tortured having a threesome in the open like this, you shouldn’t get wet and clamp my cock inside your pussy even harder, you slut!” Give her another spank.
“What Y/N said was right professor Jihyo, you even sucked the rest of my sperm in your mouth, there’s no way you didn’t enjoy it, you slut professor,” Mr. Lee snapped as he rubbed his cock against Jihyo’s face and slapped her.
I slammed my cock faster and faster into Jihyo making her body and her breasts rocking hard with every thrust.
Feeling bored in the same position made me less eager to have sex with Jijyo again, on the other hand I was quite disappointed with Mr. Lee who experienced premature ejaculation, but it was unavoidable considering Mr. Lee's age.
To build up my lust again, I pulled Jihyo's hands back until she was in a standing position with her back arched towards me and her ass against my pelvis.
In this position I tried to adjust my movements again to fuck her and said to Mr. Lee "Slap those big tits for me Mr. Lee" I started moving my hips and once again fucked Jihyo at a high speed.
As the first slap was felt on her breasts, Jihyo screamed loudly, hearing her scream made me even more excited to fuck her.
Seeing me getting excited about fucking Jihyo, Mr. Lee continued his slaps on Jihyo's pair of breasts, leaving red marks with each slap while occasionally twisting her nipples.
Jihyo felt her pussy being slammed hard and feeling each slap on her breasts made her lose her mind, her brain melting with the conflict of whether she should feel pleasure or torment.
Because Jihyo felt the pleasure growing each time Y/N pushed his cock into the tip of her womb and the pain mixed with pleasure as her breasts were slapped by Mr. Lee.
“Do you like that Jihyo? Do you like being humiliated out in the open while I fuck you and Mr. Lee slaps your big tits?” I whispered to her and gave her a small nibble on her ear
Jihyo’s body continued to rocking hard violently as she received each thrust from me at high pace, her eyes were seen only half open with her mouth gaping drooling making her breasts wet with her own saliva, “pweasee let me go, this is too much for me to handle, I’m a lecturer, please show me some mercy,” she pleaded with a sorrowful voice and a few moans still left In each of her words.
Hearing that Mr. Lee took the initiative to pinch both of Jihyo’s nipples and pull hard on them, making Jihyo open her eyes and scream “Nooooooo!”
I felt my cock being squeezed hard in her pussy as Jihyo screamed and seconds later my body was pushed back as my cock was pushed out from inside Jihyo’s pussy as she had a violent orgasm and released it like a leaking dam.
Jihyo fell to her knees with both her nipples still in the position of being pinched hard by Mr. Lee and whimpered softly on her knees and arched back , her breasts looming before Mr. Lee.
I squatted in front of her and reached my hand towards her pussy to pick up the rest of her vaginal fluid “I thought you said you were tortured and humiliated Jihyo?” I said as I wiped her vaginal fluid all over her face which immediately mixed with her tears.
“It seems like your pussy says otherwise, it doesn’t match your lips, can you tell me the truth?”
Jihyo was still whining with teary eyes looking at me “Please end all of this, don’t you feel satisfied playing with me already you bastard!?” she barked
Raising my eyebrows at that, I stood up and grabbed Jihyo’s chin.
Slapping her mouth with my cock “Satisfied? I haven’t even reached my orgasm yet, slut!” Jihyo moans every time my cock touched her face.
I let go of her chin and positioned myself behind her to penetrate even more harder and pump her pussy with all my might.
Along with the rhythmic movement of mine pounding Jihyo pussy, Mr. Lee focused on sucking her right breast and twisting Jihyo’s left nipple lustfully which made Jihyo getting more stimulated.
Jihyo could only moan and sigh like a cheap slut with her mouth gaping upwards and her body sandwiched between myself and Mr. Lee.
Moments later I felt my orgasm starting to approach its limit, I pulled out my cock then immediately thrust it back into the tip of Jihyo’s womb.
Jihyo also moaned loudly as I spilled my hot cum inside her though only momentarily as she reached her orgasm again and had my cock pushed out of her pussy as she released her orgasm, expelling my cock, my sperm, and her love juices simultaneously.
It fell like a rushing waterfall, accompanied by a melodious cry of pleasure from her mouth.
Five minutes passed, Jihyo was still limping on the parking lot floor with a puddle of her love juice.
I decorate Jihyo’s forehead with a marker that reads “Fierce lecturer free to use” and carry her to the car to take a picture
I sat at the backseat and faced outward while positioning Jihyo to sit on my laps while opening her legs wide
Mr. Lee was busy capturing the moment by taking pictures of Jihyo’s sweaty naked body and her pussy still oozing juices from our orgasm.
“Take a picture of us Mr. Lee, make sure you do it right and make the writing visible”
I asked Mr. Lee while positioning Jihyo as erotically as possible.
Jihyo could only surrender with blurred consciousness and eyes that were only half open.
And of course with a big inscription on her forehead “Fierce lecturer free to use”
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irisintheafterglow · 1 year ago
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blood moonlit, must be counterfeit
summary: a guy at a party has a really good dynamight costume, and you two get to talking about your favorite heroes. (pro!bakugo x you)
wc: 1.68k
cw/tags: swearing ofc cuz it's bakugo, mentions of drinking and alcohol, halloween party, first meeting, emotionally constipated katsuki and reader is kinda oblivious lol
note: NEW HALLOWEEN HEADER BABY also this idea had me by the throat so i needed to write it down before it consumed my entire psyche. i'm back to writing for bakugo again because iykyk and halloween fics are giving me a lot of motivation right now. hope you enjoy!
likes, reblogs, and replies are always appreciated <3
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“I have to admit–your costume is pretty damn good.”
“Yeah? Just ‘pretty good?’”
“Mhmm. Almost looks like the real thing,” you remark, taking another sip of the dangerously sweet jungle juice in your cup. It's an unreadable mix of bad ideas and bold flirtation, perfect for a Halloween party of barely 21 adults. The blonde guy beside you on the worn leather couch tilts his head slightly like he's re-affirming what you just said in his mind. “I think the real Dynamight would be impressed.”
“Would he, now,” he huffs under his breath, mouth curling into an unreadable smirk. He exhales a quick breath of what you think is amusement through his nose, eyes flicking over your body for the umpteenth time since he sat down with you. It makes your face heat up and you casually avert your gaze downward, catching more details of his costume that you didn’t notice before. 
The gauntlets were obviously the star of the arrangement, covered in numerous scratches, burns, and dents that attested to their “battle” usage. The boots were impressive, too, and you wondered how long it took to place every individual orange eyelet over the front of each calf. The cinder block rectangles sitting on his broad shoulders truly looked like real stone, solid like the toned muscle holding them up. It was the domino mask that threw you off the most, though. The guy must have been wearing bright red contacts, or something, because to look so similar to the actual Pro should have been considered a crime. 
“Who’d you come to the party with?”
“Just some friends,” he replies, shrugging an infuriatingly sexy shoulder. His entire look was putting the real Dynamight to shame, in your opinion. He nods upward in the direction of a guy in an equally accurate Deku costume standing with a very convincing Shoto lookalike. “They dared me to wear this and I lost the bet.”
“Must have been some bet, if you’re moping over here like a toddler.” The shrewdness of your words escapes you until they’re already past your lips; thankfully, he just smirks again and leans his head back, resting an arm on the back of the sofa.
“I’ll ignore that you said that, 'cause you're clearly intoxicated” he mutters, shooting you a brutal side-eye. Thanks to the alcohol, though, you’re far from deterred. 
“How gracious,” you chuckle and his smirk gets a little more arrogant. “What was the bet?”
“Some dumb drinking contest. That asswipe in the green can put down more shots than he looks.” He scowls and you fight down the urge to giggle at his bitter expression. He was the only guy you’ve ever seen that could make a grumpy face look hot. The only guy besides Bakugo himself, of course. “I wouldn’t have worn this shit to a party to save my life.”
“What, Dynamight isn’t your favorite Pro?”
“I’m more of an All Might guy,” he replies nonchalantly. He appreciates the classic heroes. Good sign. “If I had to choose a different one, I’d probably say Jeanist.”
“Jeanist is pretty cool. My best friend had a cardboard cutout of Eraserhead in her closet growing up.” He barks out a laugh and it startles you, but a mysterious feeling in your stomach wants to make him do it again. “What do you think of the current gen of heroes?” He hums thoughtfully, running his tongue over his top lip and you swallow back your drool.
“Red Riot’s a good guy. Deku pisses me the fuck off, but he’s got a good head on his shoulders. Same thing with Pinky and that Half-and-Half asshat. Chargebolt…” His expression turns into a frown so deep you’re worried that Chargebolt killed his family or something heinous like that. 
“What about him?”
“He’s just dumb. If given the choice between his life and a grain of sand, I’d take the sand,” he deadpans and you choke unexpectedly, wincing as your drink travels up the wrong tube and into your nose. His eyes widened in concern, reaching out to pat your back but deciding against it at the last moment. His glove-covered hands hover around you like you’re radioactive matter, carefully watching as you regain your composure. “You good, nerd?” Uses the same vocabulary as the real guy, too. Kind of weird, but I guess we all have our idols. 
“Yeah, I’m good. I just didn’t expect you to badmouth him like you two were friends from high school or something,” you joke lightheartedly and the guy blinks at you twice before computing what you said. 
“It’s whatever. They’re super fuckin’ easy to read, in any case,” he states with an air of finality and you down the rest of your drink, the dim lighting starting to blur everything around you into a single greenish-orange blob. “What about you? What are your thoughts on the new gen?”
“I can’t make such bold judgments as you, but I do think Dynamight is pretty cool,” you admit, suddenly feeling a little bashful when having the same question turned on you. The truth was, you followed the lives of the heroes a bit too closely than the average person should. It fascinated you so much that you were majoring in Quirk-specific journalism, studying the social and economic consequences of being a Pro. “I think his public persona is an interesting case when compared to other heroes.”
“How so?”
“Well, I’d like to imagine that he’s not always the loud, arrogant, obnoxious piece of shit that the press shows,” you start and narrow your eyes in confusion when he flinches at your description. You continue anyway but choose your words a little more carefully. Probably isn’t good to upset the guy who might have fashioned functioning gauntlets, if the costume truly is accurate. “There’s a side to him that I think the public doesn’t know about and doesn’t care to know about, since it’s easier to understand him as a loudmouth with no sense of manners. I just wonder who that guy is under all the yelling and testosterone.” His silence is deafening and you worry that you somehow offended him, but his tone is so gentle that your assumption becomes an impossibility.
“Seems like you’ve given this guy a great deal of thought,” he says lowly, voice barely audible over the sound of the blaring house music. 
“Well, he is my favorite,” you add quietly, not expecting him to catch what you said. He does, though, and that mischievous smirk returns to his face. Somehow, you two had inched closer together over the course of your conversation, and you were now close enough to smell his cologne. It was something deep and smoky, with a surprise note of sweetness, like caramel. “I’ve been following his hero career since I was in high school.”
“I didn’t take you for a superfan, but I do appreciate your support,” he chuckles and your eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “You seriously haven’t figured it out?”
“Figured what out?”
“That I’m Dynamight, stupid. This is my actual costume and those are my actual friends. Hell, I'm paying for this whole shitty party,” he says incredulously, genuinely shocked that you didn’t come to that conclusion already. Your skepticism, however, rears its head and you burst out into rude laughter. 
Dynamight? Yeah, right. More like Dyna-maybe. 
“Excuse me?” He stares at you like you’d grown three heads and your heart drops into your stomach. You must have said your thoughts out loud. Fuck! “You’ve got some nerve, testing the patience of a Pro.” His words, under any other circumstances, would have cut down your pride like a knife. However, his eyes were conveying a different story, one of lust and want and holyshityouwantedhim. “Got anything to say, sweetheart? Or are you gonna just keep gaping like a fuckin’ goldfish?” You abruptly snap your jaw back into place, leaning your head into your hand and smiling in triumph when his gaze again uncontrollably rakes over your body.  
“I’ll believe it when I see it.”
“See what, gorgeous?”
“That a Pro kisses better than a normal person,” you murmur and his pupils blow to the size of pool balls. He wastes no time, gently but firmly grabbing your chin with two fingers and pulling your mouth onto his. His lips are ridiculously soft and you muster up the courage to bite him softly, heartbeat racing when he groans into your mouth. One arm drapes itself over the back of the couch, the other pulling you as close to him as humanly possible without practically sitting on him. Your hand combs through his hair and the other keeps him on you by the back of his neck.
Right when you run out of breath, he pulls away and swears colorfully at the phone buzzing in his pocket, answering it with one hand while his forearm is still pressed against your lower back. You absentmindedly trace his jawline with a finger while he curses out the person on the other line, eventually chucking the device over his shoulder like it was the last thing he was thinking about. “You need to go somewhere, sweetheart?” He lightly pinches your side at your mockery and you jump, flicking his forehead in defiance. 
“Nah, that was a job for Dynamight. Right now, I guess I’m still fuckin' Dyna-maybe,” he rasps and leans back in to kiss you again but you push his face away, giving him as sober of a look as possible. “What?”
“If you need to go kick ass, then go kick ass. I’m just some random makeout at a party,” you remind him, painfully aware of the sting if he was to leave you alone. His expression contorts into indignancy again but you still try to convince him to alleviate whatever situation he was called in for. “Your job is more important than a hookup.”
“I don’t do hookups, dumbass. I’m interested in you,” he states plainly and your face is set on fire. The Pro, who you just insulted to his face, was interested in you? “So, let’s get out of here, yeah? I can make you dinner that isn’t shitty pizza.” His mouth breaks into a devilish grin and you’re already grabbing onto his hand like your life depended on it. 
“If someone messes with us?”
“It’s a good thing I’m already in costume.” 
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if you enjoy my writing and would like to support me, you can buy me a coffee on my ko-fi! you can also check out my full masterlist here :)
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ken-dom · 1 year ago
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Ken’s First Orgasm
Ken x reader
1.1k words
Summary: Since Ken entered the real world, he’s been experiencing some… feelings (AKA a good orgasm might calm him down)
Author’s Notes: It’s smutty, it’s tongue-in-cheek, it’s a little bit silly… just take it for what it is, enjoy the Kenergy and have fun 🩷
This was my first Ken fic, originally posted to my main blog under the title 'Ken's First Time.' Due to a tagging issue on my main, I'm reposting my works here to have everything in one place.
Warnings/content: NSFW, 18+, first kiss, first orgasm, making out, dry humping, hand job, gn!reader, Ken’s self doubt and nerves (and crying)
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‘I’ve been getting these… urges, like, there’s something stirring deep inside me that I can’t seem to tame,’ Ken uttered huskily, fingers toying with the hair by your ear. ‘I think it might be because I’m craving… this.’
Biting his lip, he stared deep into your eyes, the heat of his gaze dropping down to your lips before slowly leaning in.
When you followed his lead, breath quickening as you tilted your head, he faltered, pulling back with a quiet growl and balling his fists in frustration.
He had hung on your every word all day, never taking his eyes off you for a single moment. And you’d noticed the way he lit up every time you looked at him… but now, you began to wonder if you’d done something to put him off.
‘Ken?’ you breathed carefully.
‘I- I’ve never…’ he hesitated.
Oh. That’s all it was. You dipped your head to meet his sparkling eyes again.
‘You’ve never kissed anyone?’ you asked gently, lifting your palm to rest softly against his handsome cheek.
Ken cleared his throat and forced a smile. ‘I’ve tried. Lots of times.’ He lifted his chin with mock confidence, as though trying to kiss was some sort of proud accomplishment. ‘You know how it can be.’
‘It’s alright,’ you soothed, rubbing your thumb soothingly over his cheekbone. Your mind raced with what else he probably hadn’t done either, the thought causing heat to pool at your core. ‘We’ll take it at your pace.’
The silky tone of your voice and the comfort of your words made him feel… dizzy? He blinked his gaze away, blushing. Feeling it again. That pull of something deep in his gut that made him want to submit himself to… whatever it was his body was craving so much. Damn it, he really needed to just get over it and kiss you.
You smiled warmly, leaning in again with pause enough to allow him time to decide. To your delight, he pressed forward, lips crashing soft and wet against yours, and as you parted your lips to encourage his tongue, he moaned loudly into your mouth while his fingertips drove hard into the flesh at your waist.
Lost in the intensity of the moment, it was suddenly hard to remember to breathe, his needy whines and desperate grabbing clouding your thoughts, causing your legs to tremble, but eventually you pulled away, panting.
‘Wow, Ken… that was-’
‘Terrible! I mean, you… you were great. I had no idea what I was doing. I'm not made for kissing, I’m only good at Beach.’ He shook his head, frustrated. ‘I shouldn’t have- mmh!… mmm…’
You shut him up instantly, diving back for more and inadvertently pushing him to lay back on the bed. You straddled him naturally, conscious thought still lost in the haze of excitement.
‘You- you liked it?’ he breathed huskily as you pulled up to get a look at how pretty he was, breathless with anticipation beneath you.
You nodded, humming in approval. ‘And it feels like you did too,’ you smirked, grinding down against his already aching erection.
The noise he made was unearthly, a growl and a whimper and a groan and a desperate exhale all at once. The pressure he had been feeling there released ever so slightly with a small pearl of precum, affording him a moment of bliss between the aching neediness.
You stilled, worried you’d hurt him somehow, but his eyes widened revealing pupils dilated to the size of dinner plates, and you realised it had been a sound of pleasure, not pain.
‘What… was… THAT?’ he cried out breathlessly. ‘That felt incredible! Sublime! That’s it! That’s what I’ve been craving?! Do it again? Please-’
The last word tapered into a whine as you rolled your hips to grind against him again, and he flopped down onto the pillow, eyes rolling back with overwhelming sensations he couldn’t find the words for.
‘Ken?’ you asked softly, leaning down, ‘you’ve never had an orgasm before have you?’
He shook his head.
‘Do you want to?’
He couldn’t catch his breath and his reply came out as a husky whisper. ‘Will it feel like that again?’
‘Better,’ you grinned wickedly.
‘Oh fuck, yes,’ he mumbled, not even realising he’d sworn. ‘Please.’
You leaned in to kiss him again, igniting the flames inside him that had been roaring since the first time you held his hand. Ken moaned in anticipation, closing his eyes tightly, composing and preparing himself.
You rocked your hips only once more and he exploded, fists bunching the sheets while you continued to writhe against him, his back arching off the bed and tears prickling at his eyes as his orgasm tore through every fibre of his being.
It was like nothing else. How had he never so much as wondered what this would be like until he had entered the real world and discovered human feelings and thoughts… and needs.
His chest heaved as he came down from his high, lazily lifting an arm to rest over his forehead in complete surrender while he tried to claw his way back to the present, with you.
When he opened his eyes, he was met with you smiling down at him, nothing short of smug.
‘Was that- did I-?’ he stuttered.
‘You sure did,’ you panted, heart pounding and heat rushing down to keeping your own arousal simmering. God, he was a picture, mussed hair and pink cheeks and heavy eye lids.
‘Oh… oh, that was, it was-’
You chuckled, climbing off him to settle at his side, where he turned to face you.
‘Should I have… you know? Was there something I didn’t do? You didn’t…’
The concern in his eyes was endearing, but you laughed again and he relaxed. Another tear slid down his cheek as you caressed his arm tenderly.
‘Don’t worry, Ken, we have time for that. I get the feeling you’ll be great at… doing stuff. Besides, that wasn’t quite the whole thing. I’m glad it felt good, but there’s a lot more I can show you. If you want me to…’
Ken snorted a disbelieving laugh. ‘Well, good, because these urges I’ve been getting? I think they might have actually been for-’
‘Orgasms,’ you interrupted with a smirk. ‘Yeah, humans tend to get that a lot.’
‘I’m not surprised! How do you get through the day without doing that at regular intervals?’
You laughed, gently wiping the tears from his cheeks. ‘It will calm down when you’re a little more used to it. In the meantime… let’s make the most of your libido, yes?’
‘Absolutely,’ he agreed eagerly, as though the word libido meant anything at all to him. Nevertheless, he was as eager as anything for another round.
‘I’m going to start undressing you this time… if that’s alright?’ you muttered seductively, kissing at his collar bone while your fingers toyed with the buttons of his shirt.
‘Of course. You don’t have a body like mine for nothing. Well, I suppose it’s main purpose is for Beach, but-’
‘Ken?’
‘Yeah?’
You didn’t use any more words, and he suddenly lost all concept of his own thoughts when your hand slid inside his beach shorts.
‘How does this feel?’ you whispered as your fingers wrapped loosely around his thick length and pumped slowly, lightly. You didn’t want to overwhelm him too soon.
‘R-real- f-fucking- oh!- good, hnnng…’
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lacy-oh-lacy · 1 month ago
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can you do some headcanons/imagine of jennifer check dating an emo girl? srs you're the ONLY one who writes her the way i like 😭😭😭😭😭 (btw, love your writing, you're damn talented!!
Omg Anon, you are the sweetest 😭 Tysm. You should check out my Jennifer Check x reader tag though cause I've reblogged some stuff from other writers that you'll probably like too 💕
𝑩𝒆𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝑱𝒆𝒏𝒏𝒊𝒇𝒆𝒓 𝑪𝒉𝒆𝒄𝒌'𝒔 𝑬𝒎𝒐 𝑮𝒊𝒓𝒍𝒇𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒏𝒅 | 𝑯𝑪𝒔
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•To be perfectly honest, Jennifer has talked shit about emos before and she did make a few snap judgements about you when you met
•However, right from the start she found something about your look inexplicably attractive and it lead to a lot of flirting (and negging)
•and she sees this vulnerability in you that drives her wild, both as a demonic predator and as the woman deep down that just wants to be loved
•She's pretty quick to ask you out, not even sure if she wants something serious or just to get you out of her system, but she finds she does really enjoy getting to know you
•It's a total opposites attract situation, you have opposite appearances, opposite personalities, opposite scenes, but maybe that's exactly what Jennifer needs
•She doesn't give a shit what anyone else thinks about your relationship, and if anyone gives you a hard time she will shut them the hell up
•Because of her controlling nature you might expect her to try and change you (suggesting different outfits and whatnot), but she actually finds your aesthetic super cute
•She even buys you little accessories that match your style perfectly
•She really hopes you're the cliche mall emo, because she will gladly hang out with you there all the time
•Oh, and she'd love to go to some concerts with you, surprisingly she really likes your taste in music (Make her a mixtape!)
•She's always stealing your clothes, your styles may clash but she makes it work, her look just has more of an edge now and she's always sleeping in one of your old band t-shirts
•Jennifer doesn't usually like angsty people which emos have a reputation for being, she sucks at sensitivity and tends to prioritize a good time over people's feelings
•But if you're like that she'll try to tread more carefully, and she gives you a ton of pep talks, just meet her half way and have some fun with her too
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typing-catastrophe · 2 months ago
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I have been so cooked for this man lately that I need to talk about him— I genuinely think that with a ADHD/autism/AuDHD partner Ford takes notes on your stims and quirks, even before any serious relationship. Just little things like “waves hands when excited :)” and “prefers baggy sweaters” just like a little way of understanding you better 🥺💖
yesss definitely! as an AuDHDer who stims a lot myself, this is everything!! jfskhfshsk
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"Aaaahhhhh oh myy-" the rest of what you were saying was incomprehensible because the words slurred together in an excited squeal. A gleeful expression upon your face, you waved and shook your hands in front of your body, then pressed them over your mouth, to stifle another squeal.
Ford smiled to himself as he watched you from the other side of the room, where he propped his notebook open to scribble something down.
"Heeyyyyy Grunkle Ford, watcha got there?" Mabel's voice rang out right beside him.
He snapped the book shut and whipped his head around.
"Mabel!"
"Waves hands when excited." she cited what she had just read, "Were you talking about-"
"No, I was certainly not!" Ford said, while his cheeks started to turn a deep red colour.
"Are you suuuure? Because to me it looks like you diiiid." she said, a cheeky grin on her face and dragging some of the vowels.
"You are mistaken, dear child. Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got work to do." he excused himself and stood up, holding the notebook close to him.
Without letting her get another word in, he moved past her and made his way into his study.
There, he propped open the notebook to the page he'd just added a new note onto.
- likes to hum when no one is around - seems to prefer more loose fitting clothes. possibly because the don't restrict movement as much - will subconsciously play and fidget with any jewellery they're wearing - sorts and eats their food in a particular order - would rather not eat at all than something not appealing - skin irritating clothing causes great discomfort. remove tags!! - wants to talk but holds back. encouraging them has positive effect - avoids eye contact but will look at faces when the person isn't looking at them - do not touch without warning and do not force contact! expressed great discomfort to me after being forced to physical contact by someone else - repeating phrases and noises (quite endearing) - easily startled by sudden and loud noises, as well as irritated by high pitched ones, almost too quite to hear - shows behaviours similar to felines. has stated that they would be delighted to posses the ability to purr (he would be delighted too)
Ford smiled as he looked up and leaned back. He really hoped Mabel hadn't seen too much, otherwise she might figure out how interested in you he really was. And we wasn't sure if he was ready for that.
For now he would be very much content continuing to dreamily gaze over at you and notice all the little things, so he could understand you better.
Maybe one day he could work up the courage to ask you out.
-------------------------------------------------- thank you for reading <3 reblogs are appreciated
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jetii · 2 months ago
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i loveeeeeee ur writing. its like a masterpiece. mwah. i was wondering if you could do an angsty fic with the prompt "I loved you!" with any clone boy you want (maybe crosshair 👀) I was listening to Cardigan by taylor swift and it lowkey set the mood.
sorry if the request is very vague cause i never watched bad batch yet im a huge simp 🥲 so do whatever you want.
I know you got like a tonnnn on your plate and i lowkey feel bad requesting but you write really good so take ur time to take care of yourself.
hiiiii anon. if you are who i think you are, then you'll have already been watching TBB by now, but if you're not, what are you doing!! /affectionate
after listening to the song (i have a sister who is a swiftie but alas i am not) and thinking harder about your prompt, i was inspired to write this for Echo, so i hope that's okay!
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The Way Back
Pairing: Echo x fem!Reader
Words: 9,621
Tags/Warnings: angst with a happy ending, hurt/comfort, established relationship, dramatic reunion, reader is a lawyer, Tech is a good brother, Echo needs a hug, allusion to panic attacks/alcoholism/depression
Summary: Echo always knew you were it for him, but the idea of seeing you again after so much has changed is more than he can take. Until one day he finds himself outside of your apartment, and the choice is made for him.
Previous Work | Next Work | Masterlist
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Echo doesn’t leave the ship when it docks on Coruscant.
His eyes are locked on the city-planet, lit up like a giant firefly, watching the endless stream of ships coming in and out. Their trails of light make the whole thing seem dreamlike, surreal. Even that feels like too much, reminds him too much of the view from your apartment, and he tries to close his eyes, but his eyelids are made of glass.
The first time he saw Coruscant, there had been a moment of... what, awe? Terror? Something. Something big, anyway. He didn't understand then that you can have a feeling be a lot of things. He'd looked down on the galaxy's center of power and felt something bigger than he could possibly contain. Now, sitting alone on the Marauder with only the whirr of the vents for company, he thinks maybe the feeling was dread.
The first time they came back here after Echo joined the Batch, the others didn’t notice his unease. Or at least they didn't mention it. It was an adjustment period for everyone, Echo most of all, and his brothers gave him space to do things on his own terms, even when it meant he did nothing at all.
This time, it's different. He can tell they've noticed how he's been acting, and they're not just leaving him alone anymore. He can tell, because they're giving him looks. The kind of looks that ask questions he doesn't have answers for. They make excuses to stick close by, like they're afraid he might take off or that he's going to break down and have another panic attack. It makes him want to hide even more.
He's not going to, though. It's not so bad. Coruscant has always been a source of good memories for Echo, despite what happened. The sights, the sounds, the tastes — they're all still the same. He'd spent a long time on Coruscant before the Citadel happened, and he'd gotten used to it, the way the air smells, the feel of the rain against his skin. He had a whole life here. He was happy.
It's not so bad. He just... doesn't feel like going out, is all.
He knows he’s being stupid. He knows that he should be out there, enjoying what little downtime they’re afforded. Instead, he's on the ship, trying not to stare out the windows, trying to pretend that he isn't bothered by the thought of leaving, of the possibility of running into you again, however small that may be.
The worst part is that he's not sure why.
It's not that he doesn't want to see you. On the contrary, he does. More than anything. He hasn't stopped thinking about you, wondering if you're okay, if you’re happy, if you've thought of him. He's kept his ears open, and has managed to overhear a few stories here and there about you. The most recent had been about you winning a case for a group of Houk refugees who had been seeking asylum in the city, a big deal for a young lawyer to handle.
It had made him smile, a real, genuine smile, the kind he rarely got to have.
But there's something about seeing you again, about you seeing him that makes him hesitate, makes his stomach turn over and his throat tighten. Maybe it's because he doesn't want to know for certain, doesn't want to see that you're happy, that you've moved on, that you're doing well without him.
Maybe it's because he doesn't trust himself. He's different now, he knows that. He's different, and so are you. He doesn't know if he can face you, doesn't know if he'll be able to handle whatever is waiting for him. 
When he woke up in Rex’s arms and realized the galaxy had kept moving without him, he hadn’t thought much of it, solely focused on survival, on the fact that he was alive at all. He hadn't cared about what he'd missed, who he'd left behind. He hadn't known how much time had passed, and the thought that he was a dead man hadn't even crossed his mind. He hadn't thought about you, hadn't given himself the time or space to consider the consequences. You'd been the furthest thing from his mind. He'd had to keep fighting, to keep living. But once he had the time to think about it, to regret, well, it was...
It's different.
There's no other word for it. Everything is different.
Echo has had time, too much time, to think about you, to regret losing you. It's kept him up late into the night cycle, lying in bed, staring up at the ceiling, unable to sleep, thoughts running a mile a minute.
You'd been a good person, a better one than he could ever hope to be, and he had loved you, and then he had died.
Or, he had thought he'd died. Turns out he hadn't. That had been the only mercy.
You'd been the first and only person in his entire life to see him as something other than a soldier, and he'd loved you for it. You'd seen him, really seen him, and you hadn't run. He had been terrified by that, but it had also been the best feeling in the world. And he had taken advantage of it. He had let you in, he had let himself fall in love, and then he had died.
It's different, now. He's different. The galaxy's moved on, and he's a ghost, and he's scared. He doesn't know how to face you, doesn't know if he can. So when they’d made it out of Skako Minor and Rex had asked if he wanted to comm you, he’d said no. And he's been saying no every time since.
A small voice inside his head, one that sounds a lot like Fives, tells him that's bullshit.
His brother would have called him out on his cowardice, and Echo thinks that's a fair assessment. But even though he misses you and wants nothing more than to hear your voice, it's better this way. It's better if you don't see him like this, if you never find out the truth. The thought of you seeing him, of you seeing what's left of the man you knew, is too much. He can't do that to you.
It's better if you never see him again. It's better if you have closure, if you've moved on and don't think about him anymore.
You deserve more. You deserve someone who hasn't lost as much as he has, someone who you won't have to worry about, someone who will be there for you.
Someone who can give you the life you want.
Echo knows he can't do that. And maybe if he says that enough times, he'll finally believe it.
“Why are you still here?”
The sound of Tech’s voice snaps him out of his thoughts. He turns and finds his brother watching him from the doorway, an expression of vague curiosity on his face, a soldering iron twirling absently in his hand.
Echo shrugs.
Tech gives a short, impatient huff.
"That is not an answer," he says, crossing his arms and looking pointedly at Echo.
"I was just..." He trails off. Just what? Just looking out the window and moping? He sighs. "Nevermind."
Tech steps into the cockpit, looking unconvinced. Echo can tell he has a question on the tip of his tongue, can see him considering his options. Tech is not the most tactful person in the galaxy, and Echo isn't really in the mood to hear his thoughts, not when they're bound to be blunt. But instead of asking, his brother simply takes his seat beside him and begins tinkering with the dashboard, checking the systems.
The two of them are quiet for a moment, the only sound the clinking of the tools. Then Tech pauses and looks at Echo. 
Echo fidgets under his brother's gaze. "What?"
Tech doesn't respond right away, taking a second to look Echo over. His eyes flicker around the cockpit, as if the gauges and switchboards will give him some kind of clue, before coming back to his brother.
"There is nothing wrong with the ship," he says.
"Okay," Echo says, confused. "So?"
"So," Tech continues, "there is no reason for you to be here. We are scheduled to remain docked until 600 hours, and you have the day off. You could be anywhere."
Echo rolls his eyes, a prickle of annoyance flaring in his chest. "Yeah, well, I'm here, aren't I?"
"Yes, you are," Tech agrees. There's a moment where he considers something, and then he speaks again, "If I may offer a suggestion?"
"Go for it," Echo grumbles, not bothering to look at him.
"Go for a walk."
"A walk?"
"Yes. Physical activity is proven to improve mood and mental health. And you could do with the fresh air."
Echo frowns. "What's that supposed to mean?"
"It means," Tech says, not even pausing in his work, "that you've been spending an inordinate amount of time locked away in here."
"I'm not locked away," Echo protests.
"No, I suppose not. But you have not been yourself since we arrived."
Echo doesn't have an answer for that.
"Go for a walk," Tech repeats, and this time he does stop and turn to Echo. He leans back in his chair and removes his goggles, letting them rest on his forehead, and the intensity in his gaze makes Echo squirm a bit.
"Where?"
Tech gestures towards the open space in front of them, the sprawling metropolis. "There are a number of options available, I'm sure. There are parks, shopping districts, museums, restaurants..." He ticks the ideas off on his fingers one by one, and then points back to Echo. "Perhaps you should find out for yourself."
Echo snorts. "Thanks, but no thanks."
"Why not?"
"Because I don't want to," he says, the words coming out more defensively than he intended. "I'd rather just stay here."
"Yes, I can see that," Tech says dryly, and Echo gets the distinct impression that his brother is making fun of him.
He scowls.
Tech is undeterred. "But I don't think that is what you actually want to do."
Echo's mouth opens to argue, but then closes it just as quickly. He's not sure what to say, not sure if he wants to say anything. Tech isn't wrong. He doesn't really want to stay on the ship, not truly. The idea of getting out and going somewhere is tempting, and if he's being honest with himself, the last thing he wants to do is sit here, stewing in his thoughts alone. Or worse, with Tech.
And he does need to stretch his legs.
He looks out the window again, taking in the sight of the planet before him. He's not sure what's going to happen once they get the signal for the next job, if they'll ever be back. He might never have this opportunity again.
He takes a breath.
"Fine," he says, throwing his hands up in the air. "You win."
Tech's lips twitch, a barely contained smile. "As I usually do."
Echo shakes his head, a grin playing on his lips. He starts to make his way towards the door, and stops beside his brother.
"Thanks," he says, placing a hand on Tech's shoulder.
"You are welcome," Tech nods. “Try to be back by 0600 hours. If you are late, we will leave without you.
Echo snorts. "I wouldn't expect anything less."
He leaves Tech there and heads to the ramp. His steps slow as he reaches the bottom, but he forces himself forward, out into the bright sunlight and fresh air.
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Echo spends the next few hours wandering around Coruscant, letting his feet guide him.
He goes wherever the crowds take him, stopping at whatever catches his interest. It's nice, being able to let his mind go blank and not have to worry about where he's going. He doesn't have to think about anything, doesn't have to consider the consequences, or the risks.
He just exists.
And it feels good.
When he eventually decides to turn back, he's a bit surprised at how far he's come. He hadn't intended to venture so deep into the city, had just wanted a walk to clear his head. But the area he's found himself in is one he recognizes.
Your apartment is nearby.
Echo can feel his pulse start to quicken, his palm begins to sweat, and he stops in the middle of the walkway.
The sun has begun to set, and the crowds are thinning. You’ll be on your way home from work soon, if you weren’t already. His brain helpfully supplies the route you would take, and his eyes flit up towards the skyline. He can't see your building, but he knows it's there, not far away.
The knowledge sits heavy in his chest.
No, he tells himself, shaking his head. I shouldn't.
He has no way of knowing if you're even home. For all he knows, you could be busy, out with friends or maybe on a date.
Don't, his mind warns him. She's moved on. You shouldn't.
He hasn't been to your apartment since the morning he left. The memory is a sharp one, a jagged knife cutting through the fog of his past. He remembers the way your bed had felt, the warmth of your body, the sound of your breathing as you slept tucked against him.
It had been so peaceful.
It had been so easy to leave.
His mind starts to replay those moments, the goodbye you had given him, and it's like a punch to the gut. He knows how much you care about him, knows that if you were to see him again, that wouldn't have changed. You wouldn't turn him away.
The night before, you talked for hours. Your conversation had been punctuated with kisses and caresses, laughter and confessions. You told him how much you wanted him to stay, how much you wished he didn't have to leave, how much you wished things could be different. You talked about what the future might hold for the two of you, and he remembers how that felt, how it made him believe, even for just a moment, that things would work out.
They didn't, of course.
But Echo is still here, and so are you, and he can't help but think that maybe, just maybe, the galaxy might be giving him a second chance.
He takes a deep breath.
There's no harm in taking a detour, he thinks.
He walks, following the familiar path, trying not to think too hard about what he's doing.
It doesn't take him long to reach the building. He hesitates in front of it, looking up at the facade. It looks just as it did the last time he was here. Same lobby, same doorman, same lift. They haven’t even fixed the panel that's been sticking, and it takes a good deal of force for him to press the button for your floor.
The doors close, and he stares at his reflection, at the dark circles under his eyes, the scruff that has accumulated on his cheeks and chin, the lines that have appeared at the corners of his eyes and across his forehead. And then his gaze wanders to the ports and implants, the reminder of what was taken from him and what he was left with. He traces the outline of one with his thumb, remembering how he used to be.
He looks tired.
What are you doing? He asks himself.
He's not sure what he's expecting, doesn't have a plan for what will happen. All he knows is that he can't get the image of you out of his head. He imagines you coming home from work, and him being there, waiting. Would you be surprised? Happy? What would you say? What would he say?
Echo sighs.
He's an idiot.
The lift dings, and the doors slide open.
Your apartment is halfway down the hall, and Echo's stomach clenches with each step he takes. He reaches it and stands outside for a minute, running his fingers over the metal door, staring at the numbers painted on the surface.
It's just a door, he tells himself. Nothing special. Just a door.
His hand moves on its own, hovering over the bell. He waits, listens. There's no sound coming from inside, no music, no voices. Maybe you're not home yet.
Or maybe you're out. Maybe you're not alone.
He rings the bell and holds his breath, counting the seconds.
One. Two. Three. Four.
Nothing.
Echo rings again, this time holding the button down for a few extra seconds, listening for any sign of movement.
There's nothing.
The knot in his stomach tightens, and he releases the button, letting out the breath he'd been holding. He runs a hand over his face, feeling the heat of his skin through his glove. He's sweating.
Well, that's it, then.
He'd thought he was prepared for this possibility, but hearing the silence behind the door and knowing that you aren't home has shaken him more than he anticipated.
Maybe this is for the best, he thinks. It's better this way. Safer.
But the disappointment is palpable.
He's not sure what to do. He considers waiting a little longer, just to make sure, but the more he thinks about it, the more stupid it seems. He doesn't belong here anymore. He shouldn't be here, standing outside your door, hoping for something that won't happen.
He needs to go.
As Echo turns away from the door, a voice calls out behind him.
"Can I help you?"
For half a second, he's sure he imagined it, sure that it's just his brain playing tricks on him, taunting him. But then the voice speaks again.
"Are you looking for someone?"
Echo spins around, heart leaping into his throat, and there you are.
Standing there, a few paces away, is the woman he's been dreaming about, the one he's thought about every day, the one he's missed so much that it hurts.
Your hair is different, longer than he's ever seen it, pulled away from your face. You're wearing a dress, something he's only seen a handful of times, and your makeup is impeccable, but he can still see the hint of tiredness behind your eyes. He wonders how many hours you've put in at work this week, how much you've had to fight for your clients.
But the most noticeable change is that you're looking at him. Your datapad is held loosely in your hands, a bag of groceries on your hip, and you’re staring at him, your brow furrowed in confusion.
He doesn’t blame you.
This is a strange situation, and you must be wondering who the hell is standing in front of you, why they rang your bell and then walked away.
"Um," Echo says, suddenly aware that he hasn't spoken. He clears his throat, trying to gather his wits. He didn't think this through. "Hi."
You blink, clearly not expecting that response.
"Hi," you reply, warily.
Echo tries to say something, but the words won't come.
He's frozen in place, staring at you, unable to do anything except take in your appearance, drinking in the sight of you. He didn't realize how much he needed to see you until now, and the relief he feels is overwhelming.
"Do I..." You trail off, studying him carefully. "Do I know you?"
He feels his heart break, just a little.
You don't recognize him. Of course, you wouldn't. It's been so long, and he's not the same man you knew. His face is one of thousands, identical and interchangeable. He doesn't even look like a clone anymore, not really. He's more machine than man, now, and he has no idea how he expected you to see him.
"Yeah," he manages to say, his voice hoarse. "Yeah, you do."
You raise your eyebrows, waiting. When he doesn't say anything else, you take a step towards him, squinting a little. He can feel the tension in his body, can sense your scrutiny. It's not comfortable, but it's not unpleasant, either.
"Sorry," you say, sounding frustrated, "I can't quite —"
You stop, your eyes widening, and Echo can see the exact moment it clicks.
"Oh," you gasp, covering your mouth with a shaking hand. The motion makes the paper bag of groceries on your arm start to slip, and Echo rushes forward to catch it, placing it on the floor by your feet. He stands up, and he can feel your eyes on him, can see the tears beginning to well up, can hear your breathing quicken.
He waits.
"Echo?" Your voice is soft, tentative, like you're not sure if he's real or not. Like he's some kind of ghost. He's not sure that's not what he is.
"Hey, cyar'ika," he says. His voice cracks, and he clears his throat again.
A small, incredulous laugh escapes you.
"Hi," you breathe. You cover your mouth again, trying to stifle the sob that rises from your chest. "I —" 
You let out a shaky breath, and then another, and then all of a sudden, you're crying, tears streaming down your face. Your hands come up to wipe them away, but more keep falling, and Echo is overwhelmed with the desire to hold you, to take away the pain and the sadness, to make everything right. But he doesn't know if he's allowed, doesn't know if it would be welcome. So instead, he just stands there, helpless.
"I'm sorry," you hiccup, wiping your face with the back of your hand. "I can't believe it's you."
He smiles at that, his own eyes burning. "It's me," he confirms. "I'm here."
You're shaking your head, your eyes never leaving his face, as if you're afraid that he might disappear if you look away. He doesn't blame you, and he does his best to stay as still as possible. The last thing he wants is to scare you, or make you think he's going to leave. Not when he just got here.
"I thought..." You start, and then trail off.
"I know."
You swallow hard, taking a moment to compose yourself. "I thought you were dead."
Echo winces. He's heard those words from a lot of people, but coming from you, they hurt. "Yeah, I, uh... I thought so, too, for a while."
He sees the look of horror that crosses your face, the way your eyes grow wet again, and he wishes he hadn't said it.
"How... How long have you been back?" you ask. Your voice is quiet, strained, and Echo can hear the question underneath, the one you're afraid to ask. The one that makes his stomach twist into knots.
"Not long," he answers, trying to keep his tone even, light. "Only a couple months, really."
"Months?" you repeat, incredulous. "You've been back for months?"
Echo shifts uncomfortably and nods. "Yeah."
You stare at him, your mouth opening and closing as you search for words. "And... And you didn't comm me?"
"I, uh... No."
You let out a sharp exhale and turn away, bringing your hands to your face, and he can see that you're starting to shake again. You're silent for a moment, and he can feel his heart pounding, can feel the blood rushing in his ears. His stomach churns, and he feels like he's going to be sick.
"Why?" Your voice is tight, controlled. It's the same voice you use when you're working, the one you use to keep yourself calm, to keep yourself from getting angry.
"I just... I wasn't..." Echo trails off, not sure what to say. I wasn't sure if I was coming back? That's true, but not the whole truth. I wasn't sure you'd want to see me? Also true, but also not the full answer. I wasn't sure I was worth it? Yeah, that's the one.
But he can't say it.
He doesn't know if it's fear or guilt or shame, but whatever it is, it keeps the words stuck in his throat. You're waiting for an answer, and he's not sure he has one.
"Echo," you say, your voice a warning. You turn to face him again, and he can see the hurt and frustration in your eyes. He wants to hold you, wants to apologize, wants to take it all back. But he doesn't move. He can't.
"Why?" you repeat, more forcefully this time.
"I didn't want to bother you," he says. It's the best answer he can come up with, and the worst part is that it's also true. At least, that's what he tells himself.
But the moment the words leave his mouth, he knows it's the wrong thing to say. You stiffen, and then your jaw tightens. He can tell that you're barely holding it together, and he wants to say something, to explain, but he doesn't get the chance.
"You didn't want to bother me," you repeat, and Echo can hear the anger in your voice, can feel the sting of it. "I'm sorry, did I not make it clear how much I care about you?"
"No, you did," Echo says, backtracking, trying to placate you. "You did, I promise."
"Then please explain how you thought keeping me in the dark about the fact that the man I love was still alive and well was not a bother."
The word "love" hits him like a punch to the gut.
You love him. You still love him. You're still here, and you're still loving him, even after everything. He doesn't understand, doesn't know why. Doesn't know how. But he doesn't have time to think about it, not with the way you're looking at him, the hurt and confusion clear on your face.
"That's not what I meant," he says, his voice low, pleading. "It's not that. I promise."
You let out a shaky sigh, crossing your arms over your chest. "What's the difference, then?"
Echo opens his mouth, and then closes it again, not knowing what to say.
"I mourned you," you say. Your voice is soft, almost a whisper, but it sounds loud in the silence between the two of you. "I loved you, and I mourned you, and I was doing okay, and then you just show up, and act like it's no big deal, like I didn't spend weeks, months waiting for you to come back, hoping you'd come back, and..."
Your voice cracks, and a fresh wave of tears begins to roll down your cheeks. Echo reaches out to brush them away, and you flinch. The motion stings, but he doesn't say anything, doesn't push it. He lets his hand drop to his side.
"I'm sorry," he says. "I didn't... I didn't mean to hurt you."
"Yeah, well, you did," you say, sniffling.
The words hit him harder than he expects, and he feels his throat tighten.
"I didn't know what to say," he admits, his voice breaking. "I didn't know what to do."
"Why not?" you ask, and your anger has softened, turning into something else. "Did I do something wrong?"
"No!" Echo says quickly. "Of course not. You were perfect. You were... You were amazing."
You look at him, and there's a vulnerability in your eyes that makes him want to gather you in his arms and never let go. He thinks maybe he should. But before he can, you speak.
"So what happened?" you ask. Your voice is quiet, but Echo can hear the desperation, the need for an answer. "Where were you? Why didn't you come back?"
“I—“ Echo looks around, suddenly aware of the hallway and the closed doors surrounding him, closing in on him. The space is too small, the walls are too close, the air is too thick. He feels trapped, like the world is closing in around him, and he takes a step back.
"Can we... Can we not do this out here?" he asks, trying not to let his voice betray his panic.
You study him for a moment, considering. He doesn't blame you. After all, he'd shown up out of the blue, and you had every right to be suspicious. You're still crying, but there's a steeliness in your gaze, and he can tell you're weighing your options, deciding if he's worth it or not. His heart hammers against his ribs as he waits, praying that you'll give him a chance.
Finally, you let out a sigh and nod.
"Yeah," you say, "sure."
You bend down to pick up the groceries, and Echo rushes forward, scooping them up before you can. You look at him, surprised.
"Let me help," he says. "Please."
You hesitate, and Echo can see the worry on your face, but then you nod, fumbling for the keypad. The lock clicks open, and you push the door open, motioning for him to go ahead.
He steps inside, and the familiar scent of your apartment hits him hard. He hadn't realized how much he'd missed it, how much he'd come to associate it with safety and comfort. It makes his chest ache, and he takes a moment to steady himself, willing the tears to stop.
Your apartment is the same, and yet so different.
It's still cozy, but there's a coldness to the air, a lack of warmth. The curtains are closed, and the room is dark, the only light coming from the dim bulb above the stove in the kitchen. There are dishes stacked in the sink, and a few pieces of dirty laundry have been discarded on the couch. The floor is littered with shoes and other miscellaneous items, as if someone came home and kicked everything off their feet, leaving it all in a pile. Echo’s brow furrows at the mess, and he wonders when you started to let the place get this way.
"I'm sorry," you say, sounding embarrassed. You take the bag of groceries from him, your cheeks flushed. "I wasn't expecting company."
"Don't worry about it," he assures you.
"Here, let me..." You trail off, disappearing down the hall, and a moment later, he hears a door slam shut.
Echo stands there, unsure of what to do. His gaze wanders around the room, taking everything in, trying to find something to occupy himself with. It feels like years since he's been here, and the sensation is both comforting and strange. He remembers the nights he spent curled up next to you on the couch, the quiet mornings in the kitchen, the lazy afternoons spent in bed.
He shakes his head, trying to focus on the present.
You're back now, and he needs to concentrate.
He takes a seat at the kitchen table, drumming his fingers against the wood.
It's quiet, but Echo can hear you moving around, and he wonders if you're trying to clean up, trying to make the place a little more presentable. He doesn't care about any of that. He cares about you.
And he doesn't know what to say.
He runs his hand over his face, pressing the heel of his palm into his eye, trying to think. He's rehearsed this moment in his head, has imagined all the different ways it could go.
And now that it's actually happening, he can't remember a single one.
He's such an idiot.
The minutes pass, and you finally return. He hears you enter the room, the soft sound of your footsteps, but he can't bring himself to look up. Not yet.
"Echo," you say, and he can hear the hesitation in your voice. "What happened?"
"I don't know where to start," he confesses, dropping his hand and glancing up at you.
You've changed into something more comfortable, a pair of sweatpants and your favorite sweater, and your face is scrubbed clean, makeup-free. It's nice to see you this way, a reminder of the times you shared together, and the sight makes him smile.
"Why are you smiling?"
"Nothing, it's just..." He pauses, his eyes wandering over you. "I forgot how you looked in sweatpants."
You roll your eyes, but there's a hint of amusement on your face. "Seriously? You're sitting here, after being missing for months, and you're making fun of my fashion choices?"
"I'm not making fun of you," he says, chuckling. The pressure in his chest eases slightly, and he takes a breath. "I just meant that I missed seeing you this way."
You let out a quiet, disbelieving laugh, and then shake your head.
"You're unbelievable," you mutter.
Echo smiles, and for a moment, he feels normal. As if the last year never happened, and this was just a day like any other. As if he'd just come home from a mission, and you'd greet him with a kiss, and everything would be fine.
But then you sigh, and the moment is over.
"Look, I get that this is... Well, I'm sure this isn't what you were expecting," you say. You move to sit across from him, leaning your elbows on the table and resting your chin in your hands. "But we can't keep pretending like nothing happened. You have to talk to me."
Echo stares at you, his eyes taking in the familiar lines of your face, the curve of your lips, the color of your eyes. They aren’t as bright as he remembered, not as full of life, and the realization breaks his heart. This isn't how it's supposed to be.
"Okay," he begins, clearing his throat. "So, uh, this is going to be a lot."
"That's okay," you say gently. You give him a reassuring nod, and Echo feels a swell of gratitude for you. "Just... Start at the beginning, and we'll go from there."
"Right, the beginning." Echo nods, trying to organize his thoughts, and then he starts to speak.
He tells you everything, from the moment the explosion happened, to the moment he woke up and found himself in Rex's arms, everything in between. He tells you about his injuries, the surgeries, the physical therapy. He tells you about his time with the Batch, his newfound abilities, the things he's been able to do, the things he's learned. He talks about the missions, the jobs, the danger they've faced, and the risks they've taken. He tells you about the planets, the people, the experiences. He tries to leave nothing out, even the hard parts. The loss, the pain, the fear. He doesn't want to spare you any of it.
You sit there and listen, asking questions when necessary, but mostly staying silent. And when he's done, he sits there, feeling a strange sense of relief. He hadn't realized how much he needed to talk about everything, how much he'd been holding in. And he hadn't realized how good it would feel to tell you. To have someone who cared, someone he trusted, who knew him better than anyone.
When the words run out, and the room is silent, you let out a long, slow exhale. You sit there, your hands folded together, your gaze fixed on the tabletop, and Echo waits, not sure what to expect. But the longer the silence drags on, the more worried he gets.
"Cyar'ika?" he asks, his voice hesitant.
You take a breath and look up at him, and Echo is startled to see that your eyes are glassy, and there are fresh tear tracks running down your cheeks.
"Sorry," you apologize, wiping at them with your sleeve. "I'm not — I just..."
You take another breath, and then let it out, composing yourself. "Thank you," you say. "For telling me. I know that can't have been easy."
"It wasn't," Echo admits, and his throat tightens a little. "But I'm glad I did."
You offer him a small smile, but it doesn’t reach your eyes. You look like you’re far away, lost in your own thoughts, and Echo has a feeling you're not fully present, not in the moment. And he doesn't blame you. His words can't have been easy to hear.
"Is there anything else you want to know?" he asks, trying to break the silence.
You glance at him, your eyes focusing, and then look away, your jaw clenching. Echo can see the emotion on your face, can tell that you're struggling to stay calm, to hold it together. You've always been good at that, he thinks.
"I just..." You pause, taking a shaky breath, and Echo can see the tears forming in your eyes again. "I just don't understand."
He frowns, confused. "What do you mean?"
You close your eyes, taking a moment to collect yourself. Then, you stand up and begin pacing around the kitchen, your hands clasped behind your back. You move slowly, deliberately, your gaze fixed on the floor, like you're trying to make sense of something, figure something out. 
Echo watches you, feeling uneasy. You're not giving anything away, and the silence is starting to get to him. He's never seen you in the courtroom, but he imagines this is the stance you take when you're interrogating a witness. 
It's effective.
"Can you say something, please?" he asks. He knows he sounds desperate, but he doesn't care.
"I'm thinking," you say, and Echo bites his lip.
He feels like he's going to crawl out of his skin. He wants to get up, to follow you around the room, try to coax a response out of you. He wants to make this better, to make this right. But he knows that pushing you won't help, so he stays seated, trying to keep his patience.
 You continue to pace, your expression blank, and the seconds tick by, the only sound the muffled noises of the city outside. It feels like an eternity has passed when you finally stop, standing in front of him, your arms crossed.
"I can't believe you thought I wouldn't want to see you," you say. Your voice is low, almost a whisper, and there's an edge to it that Echo doesn't recognize. It's not anger, not exactly. It's something else, something deeper.
"I know," he replies, his voice just as quiet.
"I thought you were dead," you say, the words coming out in a rush. "I grieved you. I mourned you. And then you show up, and you're... You're alive, and you're here, and you think the best thing to do is to leave me alone?"
"I didn't know what would happen," Echo explains, trying to keep his tone calm. "I wasn't sure if I was coming back, and I didn't want to —"
"No," you say sharply, cutting him off. "That's not an excuse. That's bullshit, and you know it."
Echo swallows, and nods, not sure what to say.
"We made promises," you continue, and Echo can hear the anger in your voice, can see the frustration on your face. "To each other. We talked about our future, we said things that... We made things that were real, and then you just decided it was too much, and you walked away. What the hell is that?"
"I'm sorry," Echo says around the lump forming in his throat. "I shouldn't have —"
"No," you interrupt, your eyes burning. "You shouldn't have."
Echo looks at you, and he feels like he's going to shatter. You’re staring at him with such intensity, and there's an anger in your gaze that he hasn't seen before. It's so different from the gentle look you usually give him, and it makes him ache.
"I didn't mean to hurt you," he says. "I swear, I didn't."
"Then why did you?" you ask, and there's a note of pleading in your voice. “I spent so long wondering, worrying, and you just... You didn't care."
"Of course I did," he argues. "It wasn't about that."
"Then what was it about, Echo?" you demand. "What was so important that you thought you couldn't tell me? That you couldn't comm me, or send a message, or do anything that would have let me know you were alive? That would have told me you were okay?"
"I didn't think —"
"What, that I'd care? That I'd worry? That I'd miss you? That I'd wonder where you were, and if you were okay, and what the hell happened to you?" you say, your voice rising.
Echo can feel the frustration building inside him, and he knows he shouldn't respond, knows that getting angry won't help, but the words tumble out before he can stop them. "I'm sorry," he snaps. "I wasn't exactly thinking clearly."
"That's not an excuse," you snap back, and Echo blinks, shocked. You're the most level-headed person he's ever met, and he's never heard you yell before.
"Yeah, well, it's the best one I've got," he says.
"Echo, I loved you," you say, and the past tense stings. "When Fives told me what happened to you, I —" Your voice catches, and the fight goes out of him. He can see the pain on your face, the hurt in your eyes, and he can't help but feel responsible. "I can't even describe it. It felt like my whole world was ending. And I don’t blame you for doing your duty, but I do blame you for not coming back to me."
"I know," he whispers. "I'm sorry. I really am."
You shake your head, turning away from him. "Why didn't you comm me?"
Echo hesitates. He doesn't want to admit his fears, his worries, the insecurities that have plagued him. He doesn't want to tell you how much he doubted, how much he doubted you. It feels too vulnerable, too raw. And it would only make you feel worse. But the longer the silence stretches, the more you deserve the truth. And he can't avoid it forever.
"I didn't think I was worth it," he says, his voice low. He can feel the heat in his cheeks, the sting of embarrassment. He can't look at you, doesn't want to see the pity, the disappointment, the anger. "I didn't think I was worth it."
You turn to face him, your expression softening.
"You were all I had left," he says. He feels exposed, and it's not a comfortable feeling, but he can't stop now. Not with the way you're looking at him. Not when he's so close to fixing this, to getting you back. "After everything that happened, I just... I couldn't bring myself to do it. I didn't think you'd want to see me."
"You really thought I'd just leave you?"
Echo can hear the hurt in your voice, and he's surprised at the sharpness of it. He expected to be met with some amount of anger, but he didn't expect it to cut so deep. He didn't think his insecurities would upset you so much. He's used to it, by now. After everything he's been through, the doubts and worries have become a constant, an almost comforting presence. But you were never supposed to know about them.
"It's not that," he says. "I know you wouldn't have left me. It's just... I didn't want to drag you down with me."
"That's stupid," you reply. There's no malice in your voice, but there's no sympathy, either. "What makes you think I couldn't handle it?"
"It's not about what you could handle," Echo says. "You didn't sign up for this. You didn't sign up for any of it."
"I signed up for you," you argue, and Echo is startled by the fierceness of your tone.
"And look at what that got you."
You fall silent, and Echo regrets the words the second they leave his mouth. He's always known he wasn't good enough for you, but it's different to actually say it out loud. It makes it real. And he's not sure he's ready for that. But you're looking at him like you can't believe he said it, and the disappointment in your eyes makes him feel even worse. 
Your eyes rove over him, taking in the scarring, the metal implants, the ports and wires, the armor. You look like you’re seeing him for the first time, and the disgust and fear he’d thought might appear are nowhere to be found, just a profound sense of sadness and resignation.
"Oh, Echo," you breathe. The words are quiet, but they feel like a slap, and he has to look away, not wanting to meet your gaze.
"I'm not the man you knew," he says. He sounds defeated, even to his own ears. His eyes are burning, and he has to fight to keep the tears from falling. He hates how weak he feels, how small, how vulnerable. "I can't be. I'm... I'm not him anymore."
"Yes, you are," you insist. You reach out and take his hand, squeezing gently, and the sensation makes him jump. He'd almost forgotten how warm you are, how soft. How safe. He wants to hold on, to pull you close, to never let go. "You're still the same man, the same Echo, I just..."
"What?" he asks, when you trail off. "You just what?"
You sigh, dropping his hand and running your fingers through your hair, tugging lightly. The familiar gesture makes him ache. "I don't know, Echo," you admit. "I'm... I'm sad. And I'm angry. But I'm mostly just... Confused."
"Confused about what?"
"I'm confused as to why you didn't come back to me," you say. "I'm confused as to why you thought I'd want anything else."
"I thought you deserved better," he says, the words sounding hollow, even to his own ears. "I thought you deserved someone who was whole, who could give you a normal life, who didn't have a hundred years of baggage and trauma to deal with. And I was terrified that you already had that."
"Had what?"
"A normal life," he answers. "Without me. And the more I thought about it, the more I convinced myself it was true."
"It's not," you say. Your voice is quiet, but firm, and Echo looks at you, searching for any trace of doubt, of hesitation, of insincerity. But all he finds is determination, and it makes his heart clench. The intensity in your gaze is too much, and he has to look away. His eyes trail over the walls, the ceiling, the floor, lingering on the groceries on the table, the dishes in the sink, the empty bottles of wine shoved into the trash, the pile of laundry on the couch. There’s a dent in the wall that wasn't there the last time he was here, and the carpet is worn. He wonders when that happened.
He feels a tug on his arm, and then you're reaching up to cup his face, your hands soft and warm. You turn his head to face you, your thumb stroking his cheek. The touch is gentle, comforting, and Echo can't stop the sigh that escapes him. It's been so long since someone touched him like this, and it's nice. It's more than nice. It's familiar. It's safe. It's home.
"I only wanted you," you whisper.
"Even after everything?" he asks. He doesn't mean to sound so incredulous, but he can't help it. He's spent so long convincing himself that you were better off without him, and now, hearing you say the opposite, hearing you say the words he'd only ever hoped for, the ones he'd tried to convince himself were true... It's a lot to take in.
"Even after everything," you affirm.
"You could have had anyone," he says. "Why me?"
"Because I love you," you answer, as if it's the simplest thing in the galaxy. As if it's the most obvious thing in the universe. "And I don't want anyone else."
"Cyar'ika..." His voice cracks, and the tears are falling freely now. You wipe them away, and the touch makes his chest ache.
"I've never stopped loving you, Echo," you say. Your voice is barely audible, but Echo hears it. And it's the best sound he's ever heard. "And I don't plan on stopping now."
"I'm sorry," he says. "I'm sorry I left you, and I'm sorry I didn't comm you, and I'm sorry I was such a coward, and I'm —"
"Shh," you murmur, cutting him off. "I forgive you."
Echo can't speak. He's not sure he can move, can't even breathe. The relief is overwhelming, and it threatens to knock him off his feet. His chest tightens, and the tears won't stop falling, and he doesn't know what to do. He's missed you so much, has regretted leaving every single day, and now that you're here, now that he has you back, he can't find the words to express how grateful he is, how relieved, how happy.
"You really thought I was going to leave you?" you ask, and Echo can hear the note of humor in your voice, can see the ghost of a smile on your face. It's reassuring, and he lets himself smile, too.
"Honestly? Yes," he admits.
"Never," you reply.
Echo leans down and rests his forehead against yours, closing his eyes and breathing deeply. You move your hands down his face, brushing the tears away with your thumbs, before bringing them around his neck, wrapping your arms around him. He moves to do the same, pulling you closer and wrapping his arms around your waist. You let out a quiet gasp of surprise, and Echo chuckles, holding you tighter.
"I missed you," he whispers, and it feels good to say the words out loud. "So much."
"I missed you, too," you say, your breath warm against his neck. You tilt your head and press a kiss against his throat, and Echo feels his heart stutter. "More than I can say."
Echo hums and pulls away, bringing his hand up to brush the hair away from your face. Your skin is warm, and soft, and he leans in and presses a kiss against your forehead, savoring the contact. You sigh, and he can't resist the urge to kiss you again, this time on the cheek.
"Echo," you murmur, letting out a shaky breath.
He kisses the corner of your mouth, and then your jaw, and your grip on his neck tightens, your fingers digging into the fabric of his blacks. He moves down your throat, trailing kisses along the column of your neck, and you gasp.
"I missed you, too," he murmurs, and you laugh.
"Yeah, I got that," you say. "Now, will you please kiss me?"
Echo smiles and obliges.
The kiss is soft and sweet, and it tastes like home. He cups the back of your neck, his scomp moving to rest on your hip, and you let out a pleased noise, your hands sliding down to his shoulders. The warmth of your mouth, the way your lips part, the little gasps and sighs you make, it all makes him want to get closer, to be nearer.
You break the kiss, and Echo lets out a quiet whimper. You chuckle and rest your head on his shoulder, and Echo brings his hand up to stroke your hair, his fingers combing through the strands. You sigh and lean into his touch, and he can't help the contented smile that spreads across his face.
"I'm glad you're here," you murmur. "I'm glad you came back."
"Me, too," he says. He tilts your head up and presses a kiss to your temple, his lips lingering. You close your eyes and nuzzle his neck, and Echo sighs, holding you close. It feels so good to have you in his arms again, to be able to hold you, and he wishes he could stay here forever. But the reality of the situation catches up with him, and he can't help the wave of guilt that washes over him.
"I'm sorry, Cyar'ika," he says.
You frown, and pull away slightly. "What are you apologizing for?"
"I didn't think this through," he admits. "I... I didn't know what was going to happen, and now..." He pauses, letting out a frustrated sigh. "I just... I'm sorry. I’m leaving soon, and I know it's going to be hard, and I know you're going to have to say goodbye again, and I'm —"
"Echo," you interrupt, and your voice is firm. You put your hand on his chest, and he can feel the heat of it, even through the layers of armor and clothing. "I know what I signed up for. I'm not expecting anything different."
"But —"
"No," you cut him off. "No buts. I knew what this was, Echo. And I still want it."
"But you shouldn't have to," Echo argues. "I don't want to put you through that."
"Well, it's a little late for that," you reply. Your tone is sharp, and Echo winces. "Look, Echo. I know the situation isn't ideal, but I'm not going to walk away because it's hard. And I'm not going to stop caring just because it hurts." You look at him, and the determination in your gaze makes his heart skip a beat. "You're worth it, okay? No matter what."
"Cyar'ika —"
"No," you say, shaking your head. "You're not changing my mind. You can try, but it's not going to work. So don't waste your time." You give him a stern look, and then your face softens. "Okay?"
"Okay," Echo agrees. He knows it's futile to argue. He's never been able to say no to you. Not when it matters. "I'm still sorry, though."
You roll your eyes, and then stand on your toes and give him a quick kiss. "You're lucky I love you," you say, and the words make him feel lighter.
"Yeah, I am," he agrees, grinning.
"So, what now?" you ask.
Echo shrugs, suddenly feeling overwhelmed. He's been so focused on finding you, on convincing you to forgive him, on making things right, that he hasn't thought about what comes next. The prospect of it is both exhilarating and terrifying, and he doesn't know where to start. There's so much to do, and so little time. And he doesn't want to waste another second.
"Do you want to stay?" you offer.
"Stay?"
"Here," you clarify. "For a while. I don't know how long you can, but..." You pause, a flush spreading across your cheeks. “I was going to make dinner. If you wanted to stay."
"Dinner?" Echo repeats, and he can't hide the excitement in his voice. The idea of a home-cooked meal is so far removed from his life now, so distant, that the thought of it almost makes him lightheaded. "Really?"
You laugh, and the sound fills him with warmth. "Yes, Echo. Really."
"What are you making?" he asks. The question sounds childish, and he can't believe how eager he is, how excited.
"Just a simple dish," you say. You move towards the counter and begin putting the groceries away, and Echo follows you, a smile spreading across his face. While you tell him about the recipe, he moves toward your sink, picking up a dish and turning the water on. You look over at him, and the fondness in your eyes makes him blush. "You don't have to do that, Echo."
"I know," he replies. "I want to."
"Well, alright then."
The two of you work together, talking and laughing as you wash the dishes and prepare the food. Echo feels lighter than he has in months, and it's a relief to be here with you, to have something normal and familiar to do. Something so domestic, so ordinary, and yet, so special.
He wants to remember this.
When the food is ready, you gesture to the table, and Echo takes a seat. You sit across from him, and for a moment, the two of you just look at each other. He's missed you, missed this. Missed being here, missed having someone who knew him, someone he could trust. Someone he could love.
You're both quiet, and Echo can see the wheels turning in your head, can see the way your eyes dart over him, taking everything in. You're cataloging, committing him to memory too. The realization hits him, and his chest tightens. He'll be leaving soon, and you're doing what you can to make sure you won't forget him. It's a sobering thought, and he's not sure how to handle it.
"Hey," you say, and Echo looks up, meeting your gaze. "It's okay. We'll be fine."
"How did you know?" he asks, startled.
You shrug. "It's written all over your face."
"I'm sorry," he murmurs. "I wish I could stay."
"It's okay," you repeat. “We have the night, and that’s more than enough. For now, let's just enjoy the time we have."
Echo nods.
You're right.
You always are.
You smile, and it's so beautiful, so genuine, that it takes his breath away. You reach across the table and take his hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. He squeezes back, and you lean forward, resting your elbows on the table and putting your chin in your hand. The way you're looking at him, the affection in your eyes, it makes him feel like he's the only thing that matters, like he’s home.
And, right now, he is.
He's missed this.
He's missed you.
And as the two of you sit there, enjoying each other's company, Echo knows he's made the right choice. He knows that coming back was worth it, that finding you, fixing things, making things right, it's all been worth it. And he knows that, no matter what, he'll be back.
He'll find his way back to you.
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Taglist: @baddest-batchers @covert1ntrovert @stellarbit @bruh-myguy-what @qvnthesia
@spicy-clones @kindalonleystars @cw80831 @totallyunidentified @heidnspeak
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lucysarah-c · 6 months ago
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Question: for Virgin! Canon Levi; how do you think that would go down? Like full blown sex one night? Taking it slow over time? Just how do you think reader would need to navigate it with him? Slow burn / build up, a passionate night, tipsy reader?
This is assuming Levi and Reader’s emotions are confirmed for each other
Hiiiii~~ How are you? What have you been up to lately?
Haha, honestly, I'm not entirely sure what caused this full blow-up of questions, but I'm kinda loving it.
Mhh, I think my answer depends a lot on two factors: "Levi's age" and "the experience of the reader." I know you said Canon Levi, but I wonder if you mean canon season 1-4 Levi, Underground Levi, pre-promotion Levi, etc. haha
I'll conclude that you meant "canon season 1-3" Levi. While I personally don't headcanon Captain Levi as a virgin during the "overall" period of AoT (I mean, since season 1, not ACWNR or Underground Levi), I think his reaction depends a lot on how much experience the reader has. Levi strikes me as one of those friends/partners who loves you, cares about you, etc., but hardly ever talks about themselves. In my humble opinion, even if Levi has feelings for you and you two decide to pursue a relationship together, it may take him a lot of time to open up about his past. I mean, this man gets along with Hange amazingly in the story; Isayama says that Hange is who "understands" or "gets along better with Levi," and yet Hange didn't know about Kenny.
So this may be a wild take… but I think Levi wouldn't tell you it's his first time, lmao. He may try to play it cool; you might notice he's not the most "skilled" dude out there ('cause let me tell you, no amount of Ackerman powers makes you seem experienced, lol), but he's not telling you it's his first time. Which, you know, everybody is entitled to their past. Perhaps if the reader is also a virgin and she opens up emotionally like, "It's my first time," Levi would feel she's opening up to him, and he would feel it's a good time to be honest too and be like, "Well… it's mine too, so I guess we will figure it out as we go."
About "how" it would be, I think the reader would have to set the tempo. Most men are READY to blow off some steam if you give them a chance, haha, so if the reader is also a virgin and they kinda want to test the waters before going all the way, Levi would be down for it, especially because it will give him time to catch a trick or two, learn what she likes.
I think that porn or movies make us believe how "sex" usually happens, and I mean, talking from my experience and my friends' experiences… none of us went from 0 to 10. Like, we kiss, we make out, then maybe we got a little handy, then riding on top of clothes, oral sex, fingers, etc. Especially because maybe you don't have your own place to crash at, maybe you two would like to talk it out before it happens. Buy condoms, get ready, etc.
Now, if you are curious how I think Underground Levi would decide to lose his V-card while younger… probably rather quick, steamy, and not giving it much thought, haha. He'd let the hormones talk and make decisions for him. In both occasions, I don't think he made the girl cum before him, which is something that happens a lot; we women are harder to please, it requires more technique than men who… well, let's say that they come rather easily, lol. BUT he will 100% offer to make her cum anyway, with fingers or mouth. Levi will be such a fast learner, give him a chance or two, and he will pick it up like a champ.
Though why can't I shake the idea of a younger Levi in the underground in his 18s, having something with a girl slightly older than him, perhaps 20, etc. And her saying between chuckles, "Slow down, boy."
God, I would pay to see his blushed, embarrassed face.
Link to my masterlist and my other works if you feel like checking them out. Tags!: @nube55 @justkon @notgoodforlife @nmlkys @humanitys-strongest-bamf @quillinhand @thoreeo @darkstarlight82 @angelofthor @aomi04 @levisbrat25 @l3visthighs @hum4n-wr3ckag3 @hannieslovebot @starrylevi @rithty @mariaace @ackrmntea @emilyyyy-08 @levisfavoriteteashop @katestrophes @levistealeaf @an-ever-angry-bi @youre-ackermine @fxnnyackerman @secretmoneybearvoid @trashblackrainbow @flxrartsstuff @katharinasdiaryy @levisecretgfblog @searriously @blackdxggr @ackermanswifee @abiatackerman @braunsbabe @moonchild-12345 @levicansteponme @galactict3a Wanna join my tag list? Here!
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kairiscorner · 1 year ago
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when drunk miggy <33
drunk miggy headcanons
this is how i imagine the stages of drunkenness for miggy play out: sober but a little dazed, quiet, cranky, sleepy and sad, giddy.
sober but dazed is pretty tame and self-explanatory, he's still partially there for the most part, but when you talk to him, all you get are, "huh?"s and "nu-uh"s as he keeps swigging his drink.
then when you get to the quiet drunk miggy stage, he can barely hear what you're saying, all he can hear are his thoughts, which are amplified by the lack of sobriety he's feeling right now. he points out such obvious stuff like, "wow, jess' hair is so frizzy", "damn, peter's got a weird laugh", "lego peter is really cute". he also reflects a bit on recent shit that's happened, like a lot of regrets he's had about missions and judgements he's made, a lot of thinking, "i regret doing that".
when he's had a lot more to drink, he becomes slightly dependent upon the liquor to keep his thoughts as the only things he hears throughout the night. the effect of the liquor where his hearing becomes fuzzy wears off and he starts to hear everything, causing for the cranky drunk miggy stage to begin. every little thing is so audibly loud and irritating that he wants to leave and scream at everyone if they make another sound. this is when he usually leaves the drinking fray and waddles back to his office, with lyla preparing everything he needs to recover from his drunk and hungover stupor in the morning.
but when he doesn't leave, he becomes more emotional and tired as he steps foot in the sleepy and sad stage. he experiences just a general fatigue and lethargy from everything that's happened as of late. he says sorry for everything, he clings on to the nearest person and will most likely sob all over them. you can push him away if he gets too overwhelming, but that'd make him sob harder. he's so scared of being rejected and alone that the only way to quell him is to let him mellow in his pent up sadness. he'd apologize for hurting/lashing out at you, be it that night or any other time he might've lost his cool, which is probably all the time tbh.
then the last stage is the giddy stage, where if you haven't lost your patience with him before, you might now because he gets all over you. he isn't in the right state of mind anymore, it's this subconsciously loving and touchy miggy that you bear witness to, get all clingy and points out everything he loves about you; everything from your face, to your body, to your personality, to your toughness. it's the deepest part of miggy that he keeps hidden away from everyone else, and it's this side of him that's the realest. he'd say sorry for everything still but do it while embracing you, kissing you all over, and just nuzzling the crook of your neck while giggling and snuggling against you. it's the sweet miggy he tries to keep under wraps that you find with you.
a/n: if you guys use these headcanons, please tag me and credit me babes! i'd love to see what you guys make out of him ( ⸝⸝´꒳`⸝⸝) oh, and once my suit miggy fic is done, expect more drunk miggy content :> (or while i'm making it bc i'm so inconsistent TEEHEE)
tags !! @thecoolerdor @miguelswifey04
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medicinemane · 2 months ago
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The world is set on prescriptivism and... it doesn't jive with me
#I could elaborate on what I mean; but I don't see much point when it's not like anyone's even gonna see this#and I just kinda doubt that anything I'd have to say here would be all that insightful anyway#but I just find myself a descriptivist living in a world full of prescriptivists#which maybe that sounds silly; but I promise I mean something specific with it#and a lot of what I mean boils down to the concept that almost everyone seems to 'know' the right way to go about this or that#where as me... the more I live the more I find everyone's path is unique; and the stuff that worked for me isn't a good fit for everyone#and on the inverse; things that make me miserable might be exactly what someone else needs#every solution needs to be custom tailored to fit the person who uses it; that's what I find#(you can make some general guesses or nudges; but you're going to need to treat the patient; not the chart)#(ie; you're gonna need to actually engage with the specific person and figure out what works; not just toss generalisims at them)#so that's my stance; I don't try and say how things should be (when it comes to people) I just try and see how they are and go from there#...that's not how much of anyone else tends to view things; so I find anyway#everyone always has infinite advice about how you can do exactly what they think would fix your situation#and it comes from a place of caring; doesn't it? they say do this cause they're convinced that's what you need to do#but... both for me and for others I find it's rarely that simple; if it was that easy they'd have already done it#it's like my last therapist; all these ideas about what I needed to do (that were dumb; but had a kernel of sense in them)#(things like his suggestion I play pvp in a game with bad pvp and also I hate pvp)#(when the better suggestion was to group more; because the point was to get out of my comfort zone in low risk ways)#but he had all these ideas and it felt like he got very frustrated when I wasn't moving forward; so... I quit seeing him#and... turns out what I needed to move forward was to wait like a year or two for a big shake up#where I finally had the chance to leverage things into owning my house... and then I could actually act again#like right now I may be stuck; but not like then; I actually do have many ways forward that I can try and work on things#(and... I slowly try to... I'm not why people seem so convinced that I haven't thought of trying to move forward...)#(I just suck and it takes me a long time... way longer than I'd like... but I do try and keep moving forward)#eh... why do I even bother writing shit like this?#mm tag so i can find things later
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lovecoree · 5 months ago
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SATIVA. L. HEESEUNG !
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pairing: idol!heesung x blackfem!reader
synopsis: a trip to a beach villa leads you and Heeseung to express y’all true feelings for each other.
warning: smut! mdni , smut tags under cut! , enemies to lovers trope , arguing , drinking , fluff , angst , reader is kinda mean ( but so is heesung ) , Heeseung is down bad for reader , reader is black coded , reader uses she/her prns !
smut tags: unprotected sex ( don’t do this ) , oral ( f receiving ) , heesung gets caught masturbating , heesung has a breeding kink ( sorry not sorry ) , degrading , pet names ( princess & baby ) , pussydrunk!heesung , kissing , marking , after care !
requested by: @penny44224
a/n: omg this only took long because my phone has been acting up lately, i finally got it fix yesterday so i was able to finish the rest of it today and yesterday. This is the longest oneshot I’ve ever done so i hope it’s ok. I barely proof read this 😭 so any misspelling or mistakes, im truly sorry !!! 🩷
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You found it frustrating that you had a crush on Heeseung.
Normally when a person have a crush they feel shy or nervous around the person they like or just flirt to see if they could become more than just a crush, that was the opposite for you. Why have a crush on him if you’re clearly annoyed about it.
It’s fairly simple, you simply think you’re not good enough to date someone like Heeseung due to the fact that he is an idol and have little experience with love or dating in general. The longest relationship you had lasted two months, would’ve been three if the guy you dated wasn’t such an ass.
You tend to overthink things, Heeseung is a very attractive person with a good personality, he would never see you in a different light. You told this to yourself every day and every night, leaving you to feel bitter and so that bitter behavior passed on to you being kinda mean towards Heesung. Especially during the whole trip at the beach villa.
And poor Heeseung couldn’t understand why, but that doesn’t mean he’s not going to give the same energy back.
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Heeseung couldn’t help but make subtle glances your way, watching as you interact with your two best friends Jurin and Harvey or playing fun games with his band mates. God you look beautiful, the outfit you wore all day from going out made Heesung loose his focus. He simply wanted to be close to you, but the way you’ve been trying to avoid him like the plague bothered him.
“We’re heading out later to eat, you coming right?” Sunghoon walked up to Heeseung aware to the fact that his friend was focusing on you and how you laughed and smiled so beautifully, but not at him tho? All he get is an irritated face from you and mean comments. “Ridiculous,” Heesung said shaking his head, “huh?” Sunghoon looked at Heesung confused causing Heesung to blink a few times as he finally looked at Sunghoon.
“Huh? Sorry you said something?” Heesung scratched the back of his neck watching as Sunghoon looked at him weird. “I asked are you joining us to go out to eat later tonight.” Heesung was quick to shrug his shoulders, he honestly didn’t feel like going out because you’ve been stressing this man out this whole trip and needed alone time with his thoughts. “I might or might not, don’t wait up if I’m not out my room when yall are ready.” Sunghoon nodded his head, keeping that in mind.
“Oh by the way, stop staring…you look like a creep.” Sunghoon joked watching as Heesung eyes went wide causing Sunghoon to laugh before walking over to the rest.
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It was currently 9:20 at night and your friends were getting ready to go out. After taking a shower and doing your skin care routine, instead of dressing up to go out you put on a regular tank top and shorts to sleep in. You told Jurin and Harvey you were staying in tonight, not feeling like going out and just be alone since you had a lot on your mind. Relaxing while watching tv sounds good right about now.
“Are you sure you don’t want to come?” Jurin asked putting on lipgloss before checking her makeup for any flaws, Harvey was doing the same. “Yea, I’m too tired to go anywhere to be honest.” You plopped on the bed, searching for your phone amongst the covers to scroll on Instagram.
You could hear Harvey sigh as she glanced your way. “Is it because of Heesung?” One thing about Harvey she could read you like an open book, she knew you like Heesung since day one. You rolled your eyes finally finding your phone under the covers. “No I’m not staying back because of him.” You partially lied. Yes you were staying back because of him, but you also wanted to relax and distract yourself by watching your favorite movie.
Harvey squinted her eyes, not really believing you, but she let the topic died down at she looked over her outfit before standing up with Jurin. “I’ll send a picture of the menu so I could order you something and bring it back here when we come back.” Jurin smiled coming of to give you a hug. You smiled, excepting her hug. “Thank you, you’re the best.” You glanced over at Harvey who had a pout on her face, “I love you too Harvey.” You laugh as she immediately smiled coming over to give you a hug.
“Ok we’re gone, don’t forget to text me.” Jurin shouted making her way downstairs along with Harvey trailing behind her.
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Halfway through the movie you felt hungry, pausing your movie you got out of bed and put on your slippers before leaving the room, on the way down the hall you couldn’t help but hear rustling and faint noises coming from on of the rooms, which so happened to be Heesungs and Jake’s assigned room. You were confused because you thought everyone had left already, the door was slightly cracked open. You slowly peeked inside and was immediately shocked to see Heesung body was resting against the headboard of the bed as he masturbated.
You were about to gasp but you quickly covered your mouth, not letting a sound pass your lips. You blinked a couple of times, maybe your seeing things, but then again the way he was moaning while stroking himself sounded too real. It was like your body couldn’t move from your spot as you watched Heesung eyes go shut while resting his head back on the headboard, his long hands wrapped perfectly around his cock as he moaned, clearly unaware of your presence.
You felt like a pervert, but you slowly backed up to give him privacy and try to forget what you just witnessed. Before you could even fully turn your body around you heard Heesung deep voice moan once again. “Fuck y/n.” Your whole body freezes, did…did he just say your name. You couldn’t sworn you had whip lash as you look back to see Heesung moving his hand up and down even faster, feeling close to his release.
Heesung mouth went slack as he finally opened his eyes, looking down at his cock as he came, he quickly moved his shirt up reve his chiseled abs so it wouldn’t ruin his shirt. “Fuck.” Heesung hissed, calming down his breathing.
You almost stumbled back as Heesung finally acknowledged your presence, his eyes went wide before quickly tucking himself inside his sweatpants. Before you could even think about running back to your room, you felt him pull you into his room by your arm. “Let go” You yanked your arm back as Heesung got in your personal space, eyes glaring at you as his voice was laced with venom.
“The fuck is your problem!?” Your faced scrunched up as you pushed him back off of you to form some kind of space. “You ever heard of privacy?” You had no words to say, Heesung scoffed form your lack of response. “Explain your—
“I admit I was watching you, but why were you moaning my name.” You don’t let him finish his sentence, crossing your arms over your chest. Heesung was amazed on how you flipped the script on him.
Heesung ran his fingers through his hair before laughing. “Is something funny?” You looked at him irritated, Heesung shook his head feeling frustrated. What is he supposed to say, I was moaning your name while jerking off because I can’t stop thinking about you and like you. You would’ve looked at him crazy, he thought.
“I’m waiting..” Heesung swallowed the lump in his throat before replying simply with, “it was random, first name that popped up.” Heesung shrugged causing you to smack your teeth. “Stop lying.”
“Fuck, I don’t know what else to say!”
“The truth—”
“I like you! That’s the truth, I fucking like you!”
You felt your heartbeat increasing at his words. He watched you go silent and it was nerve wrecking for him. “Sorry forget I said—” “Since when did you start liking me?” You cut him off quickly feeling your mind racing with so many questions. “Since we first met at my concert backstage.” Heesung couldn’t even look you in the eyes anymore, he felt embarrassed that he shouted those words that could cause him rejection.
You couldn’t help but crack a smile, trying your best to muffle your laugh. Heesung took offense to that, “I’m glad you find my feelings for you funny.” He sarcastically said, ready for you to leave his room.
“I like you too, I’m just relieved that’s all.” You finally said watching Heesung face go from hurt to surprise. Heesung stepped closer towards you feeling confused. “Wait..you like me back? So why have you been an ass lately towards me.” You looked him in the eyes feeling nervous all of a sudden.
“Like I said it’s because I like you..” Heesung wasn’t quick to catch on and you can tell by the way his eyebrows furrowed waiting for you to continue. “…I thought I wouldn’t be your type, you’re an idol who could have any girl you want…and I’m just an ordinary girl with little dating experience.” You felt your voice suddenly grow small as tried to fight tears that welled up in your eyes.
“That’s why I was being mean to you..to try to get over my feelings for you.” Heesung felt his heart ache seeing the single tear that finally left your eye and grace your soft face. He moved closer to wipe it before lifting your head up to look at him.
“Stop crying, you’re too pretty to cry.” He softly said. “And stop thinking like that, the only person I want is you y/n. You don’t understand how much I like you, I could care less about any other girl in this world.” He smiled watching you try to look anywhere else but him, you weren’t use to receiving compliments especially from a guy you liked.
“You’re just saying that to be nice.” You tried to pull yourself together, but Heesung was quick to pull you right back to him. His arms wrapped around your waist as he practically stared into your soul. “I mean it seriously….in fact, I could prove it to you.”
You didn’t miss how his voice turned seductive as he smirked at you. You felt your stomach doing flips and body grow hot. “Prove it to me how?” He glanced down at your lips before looking back up at your brown eyes. “May I?” He whispered, feeling his face come closer towards yours, nodding your head yes like you were in a trance.
Crashing his lips on yours, you whimpered at the feeling. His lips felt soft as he cup your face to deepen the kiss. You place your hands in his hair, keeping up with his movements. A moan slipped past your lips causing Heesung to grin a little while kissing you. Coming back for air, Heesung was the first to break the kiss, smiling from seeing you try to chase his lips to kiss him more.
“Does that help you or do I need to prove myself even more?” Raising an eyebrow waiting for a response, whatever answer you give him he would kindly respect it. “I need you, please.” Heesung felt like he was in a fever dream, the way you begged just now had blood rushing straight to his cock.
“You don’t understand how sexy you sounded just now.” Heesung was quick to pick you up and carrying you to his bed, gently placing you it. You looked up at him with doe like eyes waiting for his next move. He gripped your ankle to pull you closer by the edge of the bed. “We can stop this now if you want?” He reassured you only for you to shake your head. “I want this, please.”
Heesung smiled before leaning down to kiss you again, but this time more rough. His hands moved down to your shorts and tapped your hip, signaling you to lift up a little. You lift up your body letting him pull down your shorts along with your soaked panties. He slowly slid his hand between your legs, “Fuck.” Your body jolted slightly from him using his fingers to rub your clit in circles slowly. Wasting no time, he got on his knees, prying your legs open for more room.
You felt your body melt in his touch. “You’re so wet.” He said already mesmerized, but it only made you feel shy, before you could even think about closing your legs he was quick to press a kiss on your clit before sucking on it harshly causing your jaw to go slack and eyes glancing down at him in surprise.
Heesung hummed, satisfied with the taste of you as he used his two fingers to spread your lips open. He released your clit with a loud pop sound before glancing at your exposed hole, more of your essence leaking causing Heesung to loose his mind. “Only I make you feel like this, huh?” Heesung glanced up at you seeing you trying to slow down your breathing.
“Answer me Princess.” He softly said, but stern. “Yes, only you Hee.” The cute pet name made Heesung smile before diving back in lapping at your pussy like a starved man who hasn’t eaten in days. Your moans filled the room as you rest your elbows behind you on the bed so you can sit up properly. His noses brushed your clit perfectly while he suck and lick on your folds. The pleasure was so intense he had to use both of his hands to keep your legs from closing, eyes shooting up to look at you to give you a warning.
You did your best to hold your legs open for him, feeling your mind go blank. “F-Feels so good.” You begged feeling your legs shake. Heesung licked up every drop you gave him, he hummed against your clit before backing away slightly. You whined at the sudden loss of his mouth. He only smirked before standing up and bending back down towards you to kiss you deeply. You moaned at the feeling of tasting yourself.
Heesung brung two fingers to your pussy, pushing them inside your hole before curling his fingers, going in and out in a fast pace. You broke away from the kiss moaning loudly, glancing up at him as your mouth went slack. All he did was watch you with lust filled eyes. “It’s too..fuck, it’s too much.” All Heesung did was nod his head not stopping until you cum on his fingers. “I know baby, and you can take it, hmm?” You felt your body shudder at his words.
Heesung placed his free hand beside you on the bed to keep his balance steady so he can lean down and kiss up on your neck, moving your head back to give him more room while you close your eyes. You felt close to your release as your legs threatened to close.
“Hee.” You cling tightly onto his shirt can’t find your voice, only blissful moans leaving your lips. “I know baby, cum for me.” Using the pad of his thumb to rub your clit and just like that you felt the knot in your stomach finally break.
The rest of your clothes were quick to be on the floor, Heesung climb on top of you as he placed soft kisses on your brown skin. The feeling of his body heat and him being this close felt like a dream. You tangled your hands in his hair, kissing him with so much love.
“You don’t understand how long I’ve waited for this.” Heesung confessed breaking away from the kiss, he leaned back as he took his cock in his hand pumping it a few times. You watched him intensely, loving the sight. “Hee please just fuck me already.” You felt embarrassed on how needy you were getting, and who can blame you it’s Heesung we’re talking about here. “Such a needy slut aren’t you.” Tapping his cock against your clit teasingly, “m’not sure you deserve it, the way you’ve been acting.” He grin hearing you whine.
“You wait until I’m needy to tease me.” You felt on the verge of tears, it was ridiculous. “Beg and I’ll give you the best fuck of your life.” Heesung said seriously always ready to fulfill his promises. And you believed him.
“Please Hee I need you to fuck me, I’m so sorry for the way I’ve acted— fuck, just please fuck me.” Quick to beg not caring how pathetic you sounded, you just needed him to fuck you and so he did. He smiled from ear to ear as he finally entered inside of you. Your jaw went slack as you felt every inch of him enter inside of you. “Breathe baby, Breathe.”
You didn’t even realize you was holding your breath until he said something, you felt him hit your sweet spot immediately once he finally pushed in all the way. “F-Fuck your so tight.” He needed to take his own advice because he was close to breaking his slow pace.
“Please Hee g-go faster.” You whined when you felt him grip your love handles before slipping out only leaving his tip inside you, “shouldn’t have said that baby.” Before you could even ask what he meant he, he slid inside you again in one quick motion, grip never faltering on your hips. “Fuck Heesung!”
Heesung watched as your mouth went slack and eyes rolled back, you let out the most prettiest moans he ever heard. He thought he was dreaming, but no it’s all real, you’re real. “You feel so good— shit, wrapped around me.” Heesung moaned feeling himself loose himself inside you.
His hips pounded into you even faster creating loud clapping noises in the room. He leaned down leaving kisses along your neck, leaving hickeys on your skin. You could hear him moaning against your neck causing you to grow weak, if he was in love with your moans you were surely obsessed with his.
Heesung couldn’t help it, you felt good wrapped perfectly around him. “Hee, s’too m-much.” You moved your hand down his abs, trying to slow down his movements causing him to move away from your neck to look at you with serious eyes. “Move your hand or on everything I love, I’ll stop.” The way you quickly moved your hand was hilarious, but you earned a kiss against your lips as a reward before he continue feeding you deep strokes.
He glanced down at the sight of his cock pumping inside of you, a thick layer of yours and his cum creating a ring at the base of his cock. Heesung has went slack at the sight, he couldn’t help but moan. “Fuuck you’re amazing baby.” He bit his lip feeling like he was on cloud nine.
“Perfectly made for me…only me.” He said watching as your back arched off the bed from intense pleasure, missionary is definitely Heesung’s favorite because you look so beautiful underneath him. “Hee, I’m so close.” You felt the same knot from before building up in your stomach.
“Me too.” Heesung voice came out small, mostly in a whine, he didn’t want this to end. “Fuck baby, need to cum inside you, please.” You found it so attractive how he was begging, “please, I’ll fill you up so nice and good baby.” Heesung pounded faster inside of you feeling himself tipping over the edge of his release.
How can you deny him when he looks like this and beg like that. His hair sticking to his forehead from the thin layer of sweat, eyes dazed by lust and tears, mouth going slack as he moaned, abs tightened from being close to cumming. He was perfect.
You were quick to shake your head, “please cum inside me, n-need all of you.” Heesung eyes rolled to the back of his head before he focused back on you, happy about your words. He moved his thumb to your clit, working expertly on your clit causing you to jolt a little from the attention on it.
“M’gonna give you every last drop, put a fucking baby inside you.” Heesung couldn’t help his words, too far gone and let his intrusive thoughts out. “You would like that huh? Just me and you knowing I filled you up perfectly with my cum.”
Your legs started to shake, his words and him fucking you was getting to your head. “Shit, I’m close.” You looked up at him with tearing eyes, nodding your head to agree, feeling the knot in your stomach ready to explode and he could tell.
He leaned down giving you a gentle kiss on the lips, “cum for me baby.” That’s all it took for you to cum around his cock, “Fuck!” Heesung gripped your hips helping you calm down from your orgasm. He felt his hips start to falter and abs tighten. You pulled him in by his neck kissing him, your soft lips on his was what tipped him over.
You felt him cum deep inside you causing you to moan inside the kiss. Heesung couldn’t help but whine form empty every drop inside of you, hips flushed against you as you held each other, feeling clingy.
You were the first to break away from the kiss only to see Heesung open his eyes slowly. You giggled before pecking his lips one last time. “That was— wow.” He Finally spoke up, smiling from ear to ear.
“I agree.” Heesung moved away from you completely, pulling out of you slowly. He hissed at the sight of his cum leaving your pussy and on to the bed. Heesung got up off the bed going to the bathroom to grab a warm towel to help clean you up.
You both sat in a comfortable silence as he helped you. “What does this makes us?” You whispered, breaking the silence. Heesung glanced up at you. “In a relationship, if that’s ok with you.” Heesung felt nervous again, but your smile made his heart flutter. “I like that idea.” Heesung smiled back, finished cleaning up he helped you up off the bed taking you to the bathroom to take a shower together.
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“Yo! Love birds time to wake up.” You could hear Jake knocking hard on the door, not wanting to walk in on anything. Heesung stirred in his sleep after feeling you lightly shake him so he could wake up. “Y’all better be out hear in five minutes or breakfast will be gone.” Jake left after that to go downstairs.
You glanced at Heesung to see him rubbing his eyes before stretching. He looked at you and gave you his cute signature smile, “good morning princess.” His sleepy voice made you feel butterflies. “Good morning.” You smiled back moving strands of his hair out his eyes.
“We need to get dress before Jake comes back up here and drag us out.” You laughed before climbing out of bed, Heesung whined not wanting to get up, but did so anyway.
Heesung came over to you giving you a kiss on the lips. “Can’t we just stay here.” He said pouting. “I would love to but after breakfast we got to pack and leave.” You said sadly, coming back to reality that both of you will be parting ways.
“Don’t say that, it’s hurting my heart already.” Heesung ran his fingers through his hair before walking towards his opened suitcase. “I know I know, but it’s the truth.” You sighed getting ready to walk out. “I’m going to go change.” Heesung hummed in response already finding a outfit to wear.
You did your whole morning routine before settling on a nice yet comfortable outfit to wear since you’re going to the airport after breakfast. You packed the rest of your clothes and items inside your suitcase and took it downstairs with you to place it by the doors where the rest of your friends suitcases lined up.
Walking into the kitchen you felt eyes starring at you. You realized after grabbing a plate that was next to the food. Slowly glancing up, your friends smiling at you or looking at you with the ‘anything you want to tell us’ look.
“What?”
Sunoo couldn’t help but laugh at your confused expression. Jurin and Harvey staring at you with shock written all over their faces. “I was curious on why you didn’t text me back last night, but after what Jake told us now I know why.” Jurin said coming closer to you.
“You were getting dick down.”
“Yah!”
“I’m trying to eat here.”
The guys all looked up from their plates in disgust by Jurin words only for her to wave her hand at them, dismissing their protest. “I thought y’all hated each other.” Jungwon said taking a sip of his water.
“Clearly not, they had the time of their lives last night.” Jay said shaking his head only for Sunoo to nudge his side before telling him to be quiet.
“I had to sleep on the floor in Ni-ki and Sunghoon.” Jake complained, “you could’ve slept on the couch.” Harvey said looking at Jake like he was slow.
Before jake could respond back, footsteps was heard coming into the kitchen. “Uh oh speaking of the devil himself.” Sunghoon said causing Ni-Ki to hold in his laugh. Heesung was dressed comfortably in a grey hoodie and grey sweatpants and wearing his black prescription glasses.
Heesung looked at everyone confused on why they was smiling at him, but he ignored them going straight to you, placing a kiss on your cheek before grabbing a plate as well going to the food. “Y’all knew this would eventually happen, let’s not act brand new.” Heesung said, placing bacon on his plate.
You tried your best not to smile, but you couldn’t help it. “We did, but I wasn’t expecting to come back and seeing y’all half nak—” Jungwon went over to Jake, stuffing his mouth with a piece of waffle to shut him up. “Just say you’re happy for them and eat your food.”
You giggled at Jake’s sour face before grabbing some food for yourself.
“All I got to say is, hurt my best friend I will fly to Korea and beat your ass.” Harvey said pointing her fork at Heesung. You looked at Jurin, signaling with your eyes to get Harvey. Jurin only shrugged her shoulder.
“I was going to say the same thing, she just said it in a nicer way.”
“Omg.”
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peeweekey · 5 months ago
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everyone adores you (at least i do)
pairing: sam x reader
wc: 1.1k
tags: CHEEEEESY cheesy cheesy puppy love, mutual pining, sam is PATHETICALLY down bad, pre-relationship, abigail and sebastian mentioned, friends to lovers
synopsis: if it were up to sam, he'd spend every second of everyday at your side.
a/n: in all of my other sam fics, its reader embarrassingly in love with him...he gets a taste of his own medicine here lol!
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With vanilla ice cream melting and dripping down your fingertips, coarse sand underneath you and the salty ocean waves lapping at your feet; you are a child again, sitting with your grandpa at the docks, watching as he reeled in a ‘big one’. Filling his bucket with loads and loads of fish.
Those days are far gone now, but the memory remains, as clear as the day you remember it. The feeling is nostalgic, sleepy in the way your senses are dulled by syrupy thick contentment. Beaches at sunset have that effect on you, you suppose. 
“This is fun,” Sam says, tone lacking its boisterous loudness, you almost don’t hear it over the sound of crashing waves. “I had a lot of fun today, farmer.”
Your eyes flicker to him, his green gaze dead-set on the peachy golden sky, the taste of sea salt mingling with sweet ice cream heavy in your tongue. The sea breeze is cold, whipping against your face and running through your hair.
“I did too,” you agree. “Y’know, I don’t get a lot of off time with the farm and stuff. This is a nice change of pace.”
He smiles, that sunshine smile you’ve come to associate with Sam. “I caught you at just the right time then, huh?” 
You shrug, your own smile mirroring his. “Auspicious.” He did.
The sun is setting, the day is coming to a close yet Sam wishes it wouldn’t, silently pleading with any higher being to somehow stretch time. He is barely a religious person, but the weight of his want is enough to transcend his own beliefs. Every second with you barely feels like enough; like sand slipping through his fingers.
One thing’s for certain, Sam isn’t going to just let it end here.
“We should hang out like this again,” Sam says, a little hurriedly, captured all in one breath. Shy and tentative, like a bashful child with a school crush. “Uh, I mean, do you? Wanna? Hang out with me?”
You can barely suppress a delighted chuckle from slipping past your lips, your chest warming with fond affection. “I’d be more than happy to. Yoba knows I need a break or two or I’ll actually explode,” you huff while Sam hums in agreement. “We can even invite Abigail and Sebastian… so can demo that new song for me, I see you all working very hard when I visit sometimes.”
He should be happy to hear that; that you’d be more than happy to spend your precious off time with him out of all people. You and him, him and you, Sam and the farmer. Your name connected to his with ‘and’, it makes him giddy, causes his cheeks pinken and pinken. 
Just the two of you, though. Sure, he loves his friends, Abby and Seb have been with him since day one. But it feels out of place—
(Sam, Sebastian, Abigail and the farmer doesn’t have that ring to it…)
“Yeah, I—I dunno, it’s just…”
The unfiltered truth is stupid, at least to him. Vincent is far too young for some of the things Sam longs to say. There’s a reason Abby and Seb hang out under his nose, he won’t blame them, they have their own secrets he isn’t privy to—too serious, too dull for him.
(And now with you, he thinks you might just be the one he can share his own secrets with. Because even he has his own serious, dull thoughts. Thoughts that he doesn’t want brushed away with a snarky remark or a sarcastic laugh.)
“I kinda like that it’s just the two of us?” 
His voice sounds unsteady, squeaky. Trailing off at the end, lost in the sound of water crashing at your feet. Phrasing his statement into a question that you could deny, that you could easily brush off—because if you did, he would too. 
(It would be a bummer if you did though, but Sam is cool with that, chill with any decision you make. Really, he totally is.)
You grin, bumping your shoulder against his, your ice cream is dripping down, down, down your knuckles. Once your skin meets his, you don’t pull away, you press closer and closer to his side. Leaning your head against his sunburnt shoulder—but he barely registers the sting—and your arm against his own. It’s a pleasant weight, having you against him—grounding and tethering him to you.
“I do too. Like it, I mean. I think I get to see so many other sides to you, Sam. Without the others and all that.”
Sam feels his breath hitch, his cheeks flush even pinker even with the sunburns. “Woah, phew, I mean—awesome… When, when do you think we can meet next?”
You tilt your head, running calculations through your mind. You’re very busy on that farm, he knows; but Sam can’t help but keep his hopes up, you’re fun company. Maybe the best he’s had yet.
“I know I won’t have enough time until my melons are ready for harvesting—and don’t you dare try making a joke about that,” you smile, wide and cheeky. Right as Sam readies an innuendo at the tip of his tongue; it makes his blood pump faster and his breathing stutters at the thought of you knowing him so well. 
“So how about this?” you propose slowly. “We spend one day every month doing all the stuff we wanna do, together. just you and me—fun right? I’ll even sleep a little earlier the night before.”
Sam bites into his ice cream—chocolate and your treat, at your insistence—though he isn’t quite sure if the immediate smile on his lips is due to its sweetness, or yours.
He leans closer into you, resting his head on top of yours, strands of your hair tickling his lips. Lowering his voice into a whisper so only you can hear.
(The secret is that you make Sam want. Want, want, want like he’ll never get sick of it. He hoards these stolen moments with you so greedily yet wants more.)
“…two days, two days each month.”
He feels your body shake with the strength of your laughter, warmth swirls all throughout his body, tingling wherever your body brushes against his own. Sam finds that he likes the feeling, the buzz of it—it’s addicting.
“Yeah, alright then,” you reply, mirth dripping from each and every word. “two days. We have a deal. Better?”
“Yeah,” he turns back to face the water, the ocean spray misting his face. “Yeah, a lot better. That does sound fun.”
Anything sounds fun when it involves you.
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fatesundress · 1 year ago
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⭑ made with love. draco malfoy x reader
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summary. it's winter, you’re sick, and draco is extremely rational a terrible, doting mess about it.
tags. fluff! so much fluff! married couple, gn!reader, lots of banter, post-hogwarts with one fleeting mention of the war, draco's anxiety is whetted by a common cold, he basically treats the reader like they hung the moon in the sky and also have the power to yank it down at any given moment. he's very grumpy. but so so in love.
note. my sweet anons!! i tried on three separate occasions to write the requests in my inbox but sometimes i need to be in the depths of hell (ovulation week) to manage smut. i'm sorry. i've made some progress i swear! but the draco hyperfixation came out of NOWHERE and unfortunately i had to indulge in it. also thank you so much for 200! :’)
word count. 1.6k
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You are deplorable.
With a fever temperature of 40° and explicit instructions to stay in bed, you’re discernibly not in bed when he makes it home from the apothecary, a jumbled mess of the blankets he’d swathed you in left in your place. Your slippers are absent. Your slippers — in two feet of snow. Your coat is gone too, at least; ridiculously thick and unnecessarily long, though now he’s thankful for it.
Draco paces. Then he sets the Pepperup Elixir over a flame at his desk to keep warm, pours two drops of Sleeping Draught into a mug for your tea, and paces again.
He should have insisted on binding rings for your wedding, he thinks. Something to trace you in emergencies. There’s little to do without them as you’ve evidently either taken the Floo or Apparated, and, in truth, he can’t remember the last time he’s been this nervous. In school, perhaps? During the war? You have him comparing his nerves over a bad cold to those he felt during war. The insanity of that is actually not lost on him, if that counts for anything.
But you are deplorable, and his. His almost as much as he is maddeningly, irremediably yours.
How he allowed an aliment like this to infect him goes against all evolutionary sense. It’s a fever of its own. Incurable despite knowing its cause, and probably festering worse than yours.
And then the fireplace hisses and out you stumble with soot on one cheek and frost on the other, the neck of your coat zipped up to swallow half of your face. In an arm shoved deep in your pocket, a bag swings from the puffy coat crease of your elbow, and Draco baulks. It’s a muggle grocery bag — translucent enough that he can see the square imprint of your favourite sleepy-time tea, a chocolate bar, cans of what he thinks are soup, and — a lemon? Yes. A big miserable lemon that you’ve deigned was worth almost killing yourself over.
Draco does not hear whatever excuses escape your chattering teeth as he plucks your hand from its pocket, puts the bag down, pulls off your coat while you slap at his hands and insist you can do it yourself, and only because he thinks you’d hex him to oblivion if he tried, leads you with a hand on your back to the bedroom rather than hauling you into his arms and carrying you.
“A lemon,” he says, and is aware by the severity of his tone he might as well be saying a gun, or a missile, or a milk crate of Living Death cartons. “You forayed into a snowstorm for a lemon. Do you think I’m incapable of reading a grocery list? I just Flooed —”
“I got more than a lemon,” you huff in a weak voice.
It is appalling that that’s what you take from his admonishment.
Your snow-soaked slippers are tossed aside as you tumble into bed. Draco bundles you in blankets and holds his wand out to take your vitals. You roll your eyes all the while, but once the cold wears off he’s sure you’ll be burning hotter than you were this morning.
He shakes his head. “Lemons are common stock in apothecaries, you know. The shavings are essential in Weedosoros antidotes.”
“Yes, but they’re always so dry.”
“And chocolate — they sell it at Téa’s across the street for the magizoologists. Did you know that?”
“Hmph. No Cadbury, though.”
“And I’ve already warmed the Pepperup and poured you Sleeping Draught, despite your urgency for this —” He pulls the box of tea from your grocery bag, impressed with an image of a little bear with a red nightcap, a steaming cuppa, and a plate of biscuits — “Inarguably superior muggle panacea —”
“I never claimed it was a panacea —”
“Of which we should have distributed to St. Mungo’s en masse. In fact, I should owl them now so they’re informed the Sleeping Draughts are ineffective by comparison —”
“You’re insufferable —”
“Imagine all the orphans without rest —”
“Actually ridiculous —”
“You’re ridiculous. And I hate this bear. Look at his hat. Bloody Gryffindor.”
“Do you know what the wizarding world is lacking? — If you’re concerned enough to make a donation, Mr Malfoy?”
You think it’s hilarious to call him that. He does well not to mention you are, by law, also a Malfoy, and his money is your money to donate as you please.
“What is that?”
“Soup,” you say. “Canned soup — canned with love.”
“We are lacking soup canned with love,” Draco repeats, just to be sure.
“Yes.”
“I’ll be sure to write the Minister.”
“Do.”
“Only if you stay in bed.”
“Hmmm… mmmm… well. Hm.”
“Incorrigible,” he mumbles, brushing the damp from your face before getting up to fix your tea. (He kisses your cheek for good measure, big sop that he is. You do well not to mention it.) “Don’t move or I’ll cast wards on the fireplace.”
“Oh! Cast wards on the doors, too. I might go for a walk.”
He glares at you from the archway. Your answering laugh is broken by a coughing fit, and you look reluctantly glum when he raises a told-you-so brow.
Draco mutters about how ridiculous you are through the kitchen and back, as he steeps your tea, heats your soup, unstoppers the Pepperup Elixir, pours it in an old shot glass from a trip to Italy (you have no graduated plastic cups lying around), squeezes the big stupid lemon in your tea, carries it all to your bed on a tray and realises, still muttering, that these are a lot of steps. But Draco balances the tray without an utterance of magic. It’s rather impressive. You should be sorely sorry.
You are, instead, asleep.
You’re splayed across the bed like something Baroque, limbs fascinatingly posed: half under the blankets and half stubbornly poking out despite his fervent tucking, head nuzzled into the pillow with a slight frown. If Draco were any better with a camera he’d take a picture. Instead he takes careful steps to your bedside, placing the tray on the nightstand and sitting as close as he can manage without disturbing the (once more, revolutionary) arrangement of your legs. It feels criminal to wake you. His fretful anger that you’d gone out in the cold is whittled to a humiliatingly thin and empty husk, and all that remains is mushy adoration. Damn you for that; you look ridiculous anyhow.
Draco kisses your cheek again. Your nose. Your forehead. He traces an invisible portrait of your face with his fingers, as if he’s ever drawn anything better than nasty stick figures on crumpled parchment in school. You, though, he thinks he knows well enough by memory to try.
You stir, not too far from consciousness that it’s a challenge to find it again, but far enough to be audibly vexed by his summons to the surface.
Draco means to berate you in that way he's so good at — chin pointed and scowl permanently etched — but you grumble with a sick, hoarse voice and he falters in a pathetic display. “You forgot your love-suffused muggle soup,” he whispers, one hand cupping your cheek.
“Ugh.”
“Heinous, I know. Sit up for me?”
“Magic word.”
There’s his scowl. “Alohomora.”
“Not that magic word.”
“Imperio.”
“Unforgivables, Draco Malfoy?”
“Hmm, Locomotor Wibbly?”
You sink further into the bed, pulling the uppermost blanket over your head inch by inch. 
“Please,” he says, with profound displeasure.
You sit up and smile.
Draco sighs and lays the legs of the tray out over your lap. You regard his service with sleepy content, one of your hands travelling to his face in what his heart surges to appreciate is an honest thanks after his several near-heart attacks, and then your gaze finds the medically expert Pepperup in an Italian shot glass and it falls.
You groan. “Draco…”
His name says, quite plainly, please don’t make me.
Draco has enough self-respect to at least deny you this. “Wards.”
That says, quite plainly, I was not joking about the fireplace.
You look as though you’re contemplating the severity of two horrors, but it passes fleetingly, with one curse under your breath and a sour expression as you down the shot of Pepperup like… a shot. Burning Ogden’s that scrunches your face up until you shake it away with a blagh noise. 
Come to think of it, Draco's choice of glass is much more appropriate than some medical cup.
“Better?”
You shudder. “I will be.”
“Good. Have your love soup and stupid lemons.”
And then, when he isn’t expecting it, your hot palm finds the place it left off; Draco’s healthily warm, sharp cheek, the soft fuzz of hair beside his ears before your fingers card through the longer strands and you hum like he’s your favourite thing to hold onto.
He melts, eyes fluttering shut. You’re sick, and wholeheartedly deplorable, but you’re safe, and it’ll be alright.
“Draco?”
“Mm.”
“The soup.”
He opens his eyes. “The soup?”
“You know it was canned with love.”
“I trust you wouldn’t have bought it otherwise.”
“And,” you say, thumb flush over his bottom lip as you smile a groggy, self-satisfied smile, “it was made with love, too, right?”
He rolls his eyes, and kisses you nonetheless. “You never cease to ask absurd questions.”
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