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#because i sure as shit have not recovered
kisakis-boyfriend · 2 days
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any juice for baby boy shinichiro?
when ppl put him with a partner who is taller, extremely attractive and just generally insanely out of his league...ive seen some ppl write this exact trope for both male and female readers and omg its so satisfying for the soul. + his friends reacting to how the fuck did shin pull a big dick supermodel. godtier trope
nsfw but genuinely do what you prefer either way!! love to read everything you put out, regardless of the contents or characters haha
♦️
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Author's Note: I made the reader a literal model because I really like that idea, hehe. HCs + scenarios filled with plenty of sub Shin getting his entire world rocked, just for you, anon! 😜
Pairings: Shinichiro x male reader
Warnings: Male model!reader, dom/top!reader, sub/bottom!Shinichiro, risky sex, sixty-nine, size kink, mild hand fetish
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• Who would ever think that Mr. Handsome who visits the local mechanic shop was actually dating the shop's owner?! No one, clearly
• Customers whisper amongst themselves after you and Shinichiro step into the office in the back, and, if they're lucky, they might catch a glimpse of you two locking lips
• Or a glimpse of your strong arms bending Shin over his own desk. They try to avert their gaze once they realize that you're about to pound the store owner's brains out right then and there
• On many occasions, he's had to take off work the next day because his legs have become jelly… and if you really feel bad for him, you'll give in when he sniffles “You'll need to take care of me while I recover :(”
• It's not any different when your lovely partner comes to visit you at work. Photographers can be impossibly picky some days, and when you pose for hours in little to no clothing for, yet another, underwear ad, it is nice to see your lover's smiling face walk through the door
• Shinichiro brings you lunch—made by his own hands, of course—complete with a note or doodle. And when he doesn't cook, you'll jump at the opportunity to leave the studio for a lunch break together
• The crew at the studio are always annoyed at how long you're gone, but what they don't realize is that more than half of your "lunch break" is just you and Shinichiro banging in the public bathroom
• Shinichiro isn't short, though when he stands next to you, he sure feels like it… you're nearly a foot taller than him (or more) and quite muscular to boot. And yes, you will use these facts to tease him
His arm stretches as far as it can, but it's just not enough to reach the item he needs on the tippity top shelf. He calls out to you for assistance, and you stroll into the room, grinning mischievously as the gears turn in your head.
“Aw, shorty can't reach it all by himself?”
Shinichiro pouts, “I'm not short, you're just too tall! …But I do need help getting that down please…” he relents.
“Of course.” to his surprise, he's suddenly lifted up by his waist, now at the correct height to reach what he needs. With embarrassment quickly setting in, Shinichiro snatches the item then stammers for you to "put him down, now!"
He thinks himself safe when his feet touch the floor again, but it's only for a second. As quickly as you let go of his waist, you spin him around and plop him on top of the counter. The blush dusting his cheeks begins to show as you still tower over him, even now. His eyes slowly close as you kiss him—eagerly pushing your tongue past his lips and pulling a few moans out of him.
…aaaand just like that, you pull away and leave. Leaving behind a lightheaded mechanic with a newfound throbbing sensation between his thighs.
• If it's not obvious yet, I do think Shin would have a bit of a size kink. Maybe he doesn't realize it until he's actually with you, but it's definitely there
• Someone larger than him, laying their weight on his back while a massive cock fills him so much that it creates a stomach bulge? Yeah, that's the good shit 🥴
• I just had an image of 69'ing with Shinichiro pop into my head… ugh
Wrapping your lips around his pretty dick while he struggles to take half of yours. His tip is leaking already, and you gladly accept everything that drips out and onto your tongue.
Shin arches his back, enjoying all of these sensations; your hot mouth around his cock. Your cock pushing further and further into his mouth. Your hands spreading his cheeks apart and–
“Mmgh~ babe, please…”
“Please what?” you ask, popping off his dick long enough to ask a question that you already know the answer to.
A groan echoes within his throat, garbling the words attempting to escape through his lips. “D-do it… I can take it.”
With a serious fire lit within you, you suck his cock deeper into your mouth. Gently, at first, a finger eases its way into Shin's hole, making him arch deeper and dig his nails into the skin of your thighs. Soon after that, a surge of cum surprises you, shooting down your throat as you're forced to swallow it. Poor baby is apologizing when he hears your choked moaning… he didn't mean to cum yet, you just made him feel so fucking good 🥺
• He looooves having your hands on him~
-> Hands holding his waist while you slide into him. Breath heavy and right in his ear, whispered words of praise and how fucking tight he is
-> Hands connecting with his as you pin him down and steal (yet another) kiss
-> Hands working their magic on his erection. Both hands wrapping around his cock, milking more out of him like a relentless living fleshlight
-> Hands combing through his messy hair after a ride in the town. Detangling the knots as best as you can before he takes a shower
-> Hands on his lips, sliding into his mouth while you coo “Good boy~”
-> Hands scissoring his hole open. Making his knees wobble as you take it nice and slow, rhythmically pumping in and out with your thick fingers
-> Hands wiping tears from his eyes on your wedding day ❤️
• Uh um, yeah… moving on 😵‍💫
• Now, since you're a model, Shinichiro has gotten some unwanted attention from random strangers and paparazzi. It's mostly when you're seen together, but some fans have even shown up at his shop just to ask if you were there 🤐
• You're very quick to tell anyone off though. Polite, if possible, yet stern all the same. Because gods help any person who's dumb enough to lay a hand on your man, or even make him uncomfortable in the slightest. All of your muscles aren't just for show
• And, as a model, you have been known to pull a few strings. Only a few times. But you were able to have Shin as a guest for a few magazine covers or spreads
It's hard to act professional when his beloved is basically nude—nothing except the brand's boxers to cover that thang that makes Shinichiro squirmy and wet.
The photographer wants some rather intimate shots of Shinichiro sitting on your lap, facing you. The makeup on his face does help hide the growing blush, but to you, as you sit merely inches apart—it's quite obvious.
You also notice the semi-boner underneath his own set of boxers… you have to remind him that this is a professional setting, and he needs to calm down or you'll both get in trouble. But honestly, how can he? Even staring into your gorgeous eyes would be enough to turn him on!
Gently, you rub his back and whisper to him “Keep it together here, and I'll give you a private show later tonight, ok?” To which Shinichiro enthusiastically shakes his head, nearly making himself dizzy.
Oh, the things you do to him later~
• Now, about his friends and family……… yeah they have no idea how the hell Shin is dating you
• They don't mean it in a rude way either. It's just, you're literally actually a model… you're insanely attractive, handsome, breathtaking, kinda fuckin rich?, and so on and so forth. So, what made you choose to stay in Shinichiro's hometown (save for business trips and vacations) as opposed to, oh I don't know, living in some mansion or beach house surrounded by other models?????
• Every single time, your answer is the same: “Because I love him and want to spend the rest of my life with him”
• Yes, your career is important to you, but you can travel when need be for that. Shinichiro Sano lives here, and you're not willing to give him up
• As siblings do, Shinichiro's younger ones definitely make fun of him for being with someone way way waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyy out of his league. But it's all in good fun. Besides, they're also protective of him, and make sure you know that, if you ever break Shin's heart, they'll break a leg or two :) (especially Izana… that guy kind of scares you… except he's also a sweetheart once he realizes that you also care about his brother)
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prodigal-san · 13 hours
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Do you have any head cannons for your hellborn!luci AU??? :o
OOOH Hellborn!Luci~ haven’t thought about this AU in a while. Hmmm let’s seeeee…
Well, Luci doesn’t remember his parents, as he was found by Fizz in the back of Ozzie’s as a squalling baby. They raised him until Luci had a falling out with Ozzie, causing him to leave Lust and try to make it by himself in Pride.
He started to work at a lounge where Lilith often sings at, and where they met and started hooking up. After an experimental tryst with magical genitalia (lol what 😂), Luci ended up getting pregnant.
Lilith wasn’t too fond of the idea of kids at the time so she ended their FWB relationship (“I think you’re getting a little too attached anyway, darling,”) but made sure Luci was well cared for by buying him an apartment in a well-to-do part of Pride where most Hellborn celebrities live (think Verosika) and giving him a huge amount of cash to raise Charlie.
Luci pretended to take all this in stride but in truth, he was heartbroken about the breakup as he had fallen for Lilith (he even has a tattoo with her name on his shoulder lol). He decided to put all that love into Charlie though, which meant he spoiled her with many toys and dresses, as well as fancy meals. His money started running out fast because of this, and by the time he realized he had about a month’s worth of funds till shit hit the fan.
Around this time, Lilith had orchestrated another coup against Alastor, but this time she dragged Heaven into it. Alastor did NOT like that and it ended with Adam’s death and Lilith vanishing for years. Alastor took a huge hit from this fight though, and he isolated in the palace since then to recover. (Which is why he’s so bored lol)
Luci decided to ask Lilith for more money as working ten busboy jobs (and one failed venture as a duck toy peddler job in Bambee World in Greed) wasn’t enough. He was also too proud to ask Ozzie for help. He knew about the failed coup, but not about Lilith vanishing, so when he came to the palace to ask for child support, he met Alastor instead.
Still bitter about his latest fight with Lilith, Alastor decides to strike a deal with Luci, saying he’ll support his daughter and even groom her to be his heir, on the condition that Luci do whatever he asks. Used to being exploited, Luci readily agrees. Alastor intended to “use” Luci the night they moved in, but when they were finally in the bedroom and Luci started stripping, Alastor started panicking because surprise, surprise… he was a 10,000 year old virgin xDDDD
And that’s where the story takes off HAHAHAHA omg I ended up writing a short fic I think askdkkskdmsma but I hope this was what you asked for?? Omg 😆
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cokoweee · 24 hours
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Heavens to Betsy I’ve been meaning to go on this rant forever but I keep forgetting for some reason
Quick disclaimer- I’m not analyzing your comic at all, I just notice little accuracies that make me happy.
~
Ok coming from a psychology major student, your description of PTSD and mental health issues is actually pretty dang good. Idk if it was intentionally researched or not but there’s like a ton of stuff that’s consistent with real life trauma and it’s quite frankly impressive
Again not sure if this was intentional or not but the thing on his back reminds me so much of old school electroshock therapy which I adore bc
A: it causes confusion and memory loss which you’ve shown and
B: kinda implies that maybe he did his own research when deciding how to deal with everything or
C: again is incredibly accurate in the fact that most trauma patients continuously seek pain out, and in turn report feelings of extreme boredom and numbness when not actively experiencing pain or reliving trauma. In his case going borderline catatonic when he’s not freaking out.
On the topic of “freaking out” a lack or decrease in serotonin leads to a more reactive and intense episodes in PTSD. Or, because the little guy is like mega depressed coz of the whole situation, he gets way more intense and violent episodes that someone who was on like Prozac. And would tend to be more on edge and sensitive to triggers.
Then there’s his family. For some background, there’s a part of your brain called the amygdala. It typically works to control basic emotions, but responds very well to fear. In traumatic experiences, it pairs with the hippocampus (the memory center of the brain) to store vivid and occasionally sensory memories.
When a memory trigger is provoked and brought back into consciousness, it actually changes slightly depending on the context of which it recalled. Those memories are changed to fit how we make sense of them. So if he feels guilty for his brothers death, then his memories will reflect it whether or not it’s actually true.
Essentially, him having his brothers showing up all the time (looking the way they do) is really bad for him on multiple levels, and not just because they’re triggering visually. They’re like actually impeding his ability to recover by keeping him in an aggressive form of already intense fight or flight that comes from trauma.
On a happier note, one of the best ways to improve is to establish and nurture caring relationships. Awww
Aight ima stop here so I don’t bore you to death with random psych facts, but like kudos to you my dude because I could go on forever about some of the stuff in there
Uh yeah
-writing anon 🤡
WRITING ANON? SLAPPING OUT ANALYSISSISIS AND SHIT?
Bein real I dont do much research on shit even tho I should. I just go off what I’ve seen/ learned throughout the years. It’s always good to hear I’m doin ahit right tho!
Lowkey right with the shock tho. Or high key lol. Seeking pain there’s other ways people do it but mmm somehow this seemed the tamest way. Oh writing anon u silly lil saltine cracker
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duskiily · 2 months
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"do you think we're bad people?"
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dawnthefluffyduck · 1 month
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I drew this explanation post for why I was completely inactive for a week, but then felt too anxious and drained to post it, and subsequently disappeared for a second week
Two main blog drawings and one side blog wip later, I remembered I made this and still think it's funny, so even though I stopped being dead (TM) I still wanted to share lol
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Brief series of events at work
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^^^old, but I'm still taking it easy so posts on both this blog and my alt will continue to be scattered for now
#so for those of you that don't know; i have moderate combined scoliosis#my entire back is always at least a little strained so i have to really watch my physical activity#but i live in Tennessee where we have the lowest federally allowed minimum wage#so in order to pay for college i have to work in a package distribution company because it's the only place that pays well/has a scholarshi#I'm in the small package dept thankfully (bc spine)#but for the last three months one specific manager kept sending me out to a different area with the heaviest packages in the building#when i first disappeared it was because i was having trouble walking and using stairs lmao#I complained to that manager and it seems I'll be in smalls again for the foreseeable future; so I've had time to recover and am better :D#every day i didn't post after that was due to anxiety and a low social battery BUT I'm getting slightly better on that front too#i have been *very* aware of my spine lately though#the last time I got an xray was ten years ago and i wonder if it's changed since then... not that i can afford a new xray lol#also can i just take a space to complain about the US not using the metric system#so many packages have kilograms ONLY and i have NO frame of reference for that since we don't use kilograms anywhere else#''ooh wow 70 is a big number but surely it can't be that baD- HOLY SHIT THAT'S 154 POUNDS'' <- me all the time#at this point I myself will just switch to metric and make life harder for both myself and life around me out of principle
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carbonateddelusion · 10 months
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I know I haven't said much about it, but legitimately, "running away" was one of the most pivotal life decisions I've ever made. Probably THE first major life decision I've made, and also the best. If you have an opportunity to go, leave. Get out of there. If you are not safe at home, emotionally, physically, whatever, and you're able to leave, do it. It's going to suck such major ass for a while because you're going to have to deal with the scars they've left on you, but I wholeheartedly, full-throatedly, with-my-chest promise you that it is going to be better. You're going to be better. If you have the privilege of being able to escape, no matter how difficult it feels, then RUN.
#whatever you leave behind is not your responsibility. sometimes you're gonna have a fucked relationship with the siblings you 'abandoned'#but they have to understand that you had to leave. and that you were actively fighting to take them with you the entire time#it's okay to be selfish. you need to be selfish to start to recover.#if you have to be homeless please look up and do your research on local resources first. plan things out.#i was lucky enough to have family who'd been waiting years and years for this moment to happen#if you can go and have your college dorm as a safe haven then absolutely take that chance#if you can go and rent an apartment with the money from your job then take that chance#plan shit. do it. even if your brain fights you. you do not want to be out there without proper precautions or else you could end up-#-seriously fucked over.#also i know i'm encouraging people to get out but in equal measure:#if it isn't safe to leave you are not lesser for staying.#if it's winter and you can't be out there alone you are not complicit in your own abuse yk?#if you have family you CANNOT leave behind like extremely young siblings then you are not at fault for staying.#i was lucky enough to be able to leave quickly and (relatively) painlessly and i'm aware that not everybody can do that#sometimes staying IS the better choice. but that's a choice YOU have to make not me#assess your situation properly. are you staying for your own safety or because you're scared?#etc etc. obviously take all of this with a grain of salt i don't have all the life experience in the world just what little i have#also: prepaid phones are a godsend. MRIs. canned food. make sure to have first aid kits if needed. plan ahead. have a stash somewhere safe#rox rumblings#me things
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dootznbootz · 5 months
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As someone with ADHD, you know you're fucking exhausted when you're not even fidgeting. :'D
#I'm literally just sitting here. listening to shit. I usually need to fidget or do something while doing that but no. I'm just staring off#into space. At the creature that I'm dogsitting.#he's exhausting too but it's mostly from the fact that I did a lot of physical labor in horrible boots and now my lower body is dead#I mean this creature eats anything and everything off the ground. One walk and I had to pull 4 acorns. 7 leaves. 5 rocks from this#idiot's mouth. he's not allowed off leash because he just bolts as well. He's sweet but I'm pretty sure there's just a walnut rattling#around in his head lol. I genuinely worry about this dog because...He genuinely has a deathwish#speaking of which. if anyone knows how to teach your own dog how to stand up for herself I would appreciate it :'D#I give my own dog. my sweet girl Mocha. a treat and this little guy starts hopping up and biting at her mouth until she drops HER treat#and then he runs away with it! And I'm like “sweetie. why are you letting him treat you like that?!?!”#yes I separate them when I give treats but still :'( My girl is too sweet for this cruel world.#She's so sweet and brings her OWN toys up to him so they can play together and he just runs away with them and growls at her.#They're HER doggy toys!!!#I know I'm complaining a lot. He's not that bad but also... My Mocha. (also he chases the cats. we have shit blocked so they can#have their own space and be safe and a space for him but oof)#Mad rambles#Mad vents#I'm mostly still recovering from those horrid boots as we realized once I took them off that they basically were at a weird slope.
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baekuras · 1 year
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Thinking about Luis surviving & recovering while Leon gets to sit at his bedside or wherever reading Don Quixote to him <3
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theood · 2 days
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If I could change one thing in my life I'd make it so no one ever commented on food
#elias.zip#im so fucking tired of it!!! joking or not its fucking degrading. just constantly. i get it im so fucking unhealthy all i eat is processed#chemical slop thats gonna kill me at 30 and im the unhealthiest person in the fucking work#world* you dont need to fucking remind me every goddamn day. even the comments that arent bad still make me feel likr shit for eating!!! i#already feel really bad about how poorly i eat. i literally cannot fucking starve myself more basically over this kind of comment.#like damn!!! i sure do have a lot of body issues for someone whos skinny WHY am i even complaining in the first place likr i used to fucking#hate my stomach and its noy when#even* big and i think its gone down bc i eat even less now!!! i cannoy make ANYONE happy no matter what i do or what i cook its always comme#nt comment comment in everything i fucking do. i swear to god im never going to fucking recover from living with them. i would've run away i#f i grew up with them im serious#negative#ihateithereihateithereihateithere#nothing's working out. i csnt make friends. i csnt keep them. im a fucking deadbeat im just like my dad in every conceivable way no ones pr#oud of me no matter what i do and i fucked myslef from any opportunity i had to get out of the system what is the fucking point#i jsut dont knoe anymore!!!!!! its not like the Future even looks good or that i see myself anywwhre but in the exact same spot because all#i ever fucking manage to achieve is self sabotage and whining about how no one loves me. god!!!!!
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princeinsomniavoid · 1 year
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I can't even think right now man I've just curled up into a ball and It hurts
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arcaneyouth · 1 month
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its kinda wild, when i made the decision to take shit super easy and give up a lot of tasks i just cant get done rn, i expected it to be like... miserable. the last time i did something like this was one of the worst 9 months of my life so i was kind of expecting a lot of that? but because im doing it Intentionally this time with Purpose, it feels more like. sinking into a hot bath when i know i dont need to get out any time soon. its nice
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fvckednddistvrbed · 2 months
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i ate a lot today, not as much as other days, but still im disappointed with myself and starting to feel sick. why cant i be good at restriction? god this makes me wanna sh so fucking bad
#tw s3lf harm#i dont even feel sick from eating too much like usual#its like the feeling of food in my stomach is making my throat feel tight and its activating my gag reflex a bit so i feel like im gonna tu#tw 3d shit#tw 3d vent#3d ana#not exactly pro a*a but not anti either.. :/#i want to post more in this community and get mutuals and get help with navigating this whole thing but im scared cause ive seen#so many people have their whole accounts deleted and i think i would actually kms if that happened since ive had my main for like 8 years#and to be clear im very pro recovery#which i know i know conflicts with the whole wanting mutuals to *help* me with an ed and not help me to *not* have an ed#i think everyone deserves to recover and i hope i do but right now is just not fucking it for me#so for not its a whole lotta#male thinpo#slef harm#right and i definitely cant talk about being b p d uncensored or ill get reported cause the b*d community is super toxic but in the way that#slef harm and scars are chillin but eds are actually a real struggle™️ and you should have it in secret like everyone else#not to generalize all pw b*pd obviously many and probably most arent like this#but tumblr is a very concentrated dose of that kinda person and its sad for us pw b*pd that are both kinds of toxic LMAO#i joke of course#anyway yeah pro recovery for sure but not currently in recovery#ana moots#body chex#someone who could help with that maybe idk im also kinda shy so maybe just someone to help me with restrictions and staying accountable#at least for now#also if you sh all the better cause i will wanna talk about that too#also to clarify my earlier statement 'not pro a*a' means i dont think and 3d is a lifestyle and i recognize that im sick#but 'not exactly anti' means im not going to avoid these communities or report people in them for being pro#because thats about as effective as throwing out an addicts stash or hiding sharp objects from a chronic sh'r- theyll still find a way#and probably way easier and faster than you think and theyll feel even more alienated and less inclined to seek help
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turtlemagnum · 3 months
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when i was younger and hung out around my uncle a lot more than i do now, i remember whenever he referred to things regarding his native heritage, he always just called it "indian". called himself an indian, called the words he taught us indian, so on. since i was a little kid who didn't know any better, i didn't know that "indian" in the context of indigenous americans was a very broad, frankly bastardized term to paint a vast variety of cultures spanning two whole damn continents with one brush. it only occurred to me as i got much older than i was at the time that there'd be more than one "indian" language, and up until now since i had no idea what tribe(s) he even is i couldn't even begin to know where to look unless i found a download of every goddamn interlingual dictionary available and painstakingly checked every godddamn one for what their word for "thunder" is
the word he taught us meant thunder was hiloha. i didn't even know how to spell it until now, because he only ever said it aloud. literally just a few minutes ago, i decided to ask my grandma (his sister) if we knew what tribe(s) he belonged to. and apparently he's a mix of choctaw and makah. which gave me a lead, which led to me finding a dictionary on libgen, which led to me word searching "thunder" in the choctaw to english dictionary. it's the only word i remember him teaching us, and i'm unsure if he ever tried teaching us others. but it was his dogs name, and he was a damn good boy, so i remembered it clear as day. though, they normally shortened it to "hilo".
so, i guess what came out of this is that i now know a bit more about my uncle's heritage, and where to look for more research. so, if you're gonna have a takeaway from this, i'd appreciate it if you remembered the word "hiloha". it means thunder. and aside from being the name of a very good boy who deserves to be remembered, i think it's even more important to remember the histories, cultures, and of course the languages of all the indigenous folks who came before us and did their damndest to preserve their cultures in spite of it all.
#honestly a bit unsure if he was just simplifying it all down for us little idiot kids or not#regardless i think it's an important memory to keep alive#writing this up got me thinking about my time spent over at his place when i was real young. we spent a thanksgiving or two over there#both him and his wife were alcoholics at the time. she probably still is but she's been out of their lives for a while#i remember huddling in the corner with my cousin and my mom while they both fought. i distinctly remember her slapping him over the head#with a TV remote. not a very happy thanksgiving that one#it occurred to me while remembering this that there's definitely some kind of bitter irony to a white woman abusing a native man and his so#on thanksgiving. not even mentioning just a (mostly) native family having a bad thanksgiving in general. a bitter memory all around#god she was a cunt. talked shit about welfare queens and people on food stamps while me and my mom bought her food with our food stamps#claimed to be a vegetarian because how much she loved animals but still regularly ate bacon#i definitely don't remember my uncle being perfect in that relationship but i also definitely remember her being far worse#i'm almost certain it was mutual abuse but there's definitely a reason why my uncle's still in my cousin's life and mother isn't#aside from the fact that she did in fact abandon them and start a new family#as far as i know my uncle's recovered from his alcoholism and she hasn't. which itself wouldn't be a sin if she wasn't also naturally just#nasty piece of vaguely human looking garbage even without the alcohol#the way i understand it alcohol usually doesn't change who a person is at their core. it just amplifies who they already are#my grandpa's a very loving man and while i've never seen him get outright drunk i'm told he's very sweet and cuddly#saying this feels like a bit of a blanket statement but i definitely feel like for the most part if someone is an abusive piece of shit#while drunk they're also a lot more likely to be an abusive piece of shit sober#i've heard that some people are sweet and kind sober and turn nasty when drunk. i've never seen that firsthand but i'm sure it's entirely#possible. i can't speak whether it actually reveals who they really are or what. i'm not a psychologist#im rambling. oh well!#i'm glad that my cousin and uncle seem to be in a better place now. got their shit together#that's what matters
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caffeinatedopossum · 2 years
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I just heard someone say that getting married is the hardest thing they've ever done.
I'm sorry but if getting married is the hardest thing you've ever had to do, I don't think I can talk to you. That's fine, that's totally okay if that's hard for you. I just need a long moment of silence for my misjudgment of the average amount of suffering that any given human experiences.
#and obviously theres shit like forced marriage and things#however#if you are choosing who to marry of your own volition. that shit should be easy#i cant even count with all of my fingers and toes the number of things that have been harder for me than getting married#for one. the reason im not yet legally married which is that im disabled and im in a very intenese match of Do I Deserve Rights#with the government#after that weve got recovering from an ed. not sure how im managing that. plus i couldve easily died#you know from malnutrition. not only from me starving myself but also due to severe malnutrition in my entire childhood#due to neglect and abuse. its tge reason i never grew properly. i have a hole in my jaw. its also why my jaw is underdeveloped#ive got severe insomnia and anxiety to the point that i wont sleep for days without strong meds#and cant really leave my house alone#i lived through untreated hypothermia and likely heat stroke as well and those were both MUCH harder than getting married#i experienced child labor and escaped what was probably a cult given that i had to run away to an undisclosed location#cut off contact with everyone i knew from it and remain anonymous#i ran away from home because of the abuse and when the cops were called on me i had to sit thete#with a straight face and listen to social workers and authorities tell me that what i was calling abuse was ok and that i had to go back#i had to fight for an education that i never really got. same for medical care including emergency medical care#anyway point being i will be very relieved to spend the rest of my life with my favorite person after all of that#there are no regrets or uncertainties about that. my life is the best its ever been and she only makes it better
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imnotfinebutimfine · 11 months
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It's so exhausting being a person who loves people in a world where people keep senselessly hurting each other
I'm not going to stop loving people and I'm not going to lose my optimism, but god some people make it so hard
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elitehoe · 2 years
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I had an absolutely cursed dream that Hangman went to wwe... when I woke up I almost had a fucking meltdown. So yeah that's how my day started illness right out the gate!
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