#because i sure as shit have not recovered

[flare33]

I JUST FINISHED SEASON 3 AND OH MY GOD(This will be rant and nothing else, don't expect any coherence)

TIM, MY BOY😭 He blew himself up to stop the ritual which was very cathartic I'm sure BUT I WANTED HIM TO LIVE, DAMM IT

Daisy killed Hope or Breakon?! And they put her in the coffin so she's also pretty much dead or WORSE

Jon is in a fucking coma and dreaming of all the people he took live statements of, Elias narrating that, I'm going to be sick

The only upside is Elias getting arrested and punched by a cop, BUT IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN DAISY AND MEL SHOULD HAVE WATCHED, THEY DESERVED THIS

And how was he still so smug with his stupidly attractive voice?! I hope the put him in the ugliest fucking prison clothes they have, he needs to SUFFER

Also Peter is taking over the institute, holy shit. I'm sure he has some evil plans of his own but he's already a better boss than Elias ever was. Paid leave and counselling?! Sign me the fuck up for that!

I might actually have some thoughts and theories later but I can't right now😭

Gonna need several business days to recover from this. Jokes on me because I listened to this right before work 🤡

[demons-art-hell]

Lore expansion on Joel's role in gbau!

Exposition: Vampires, whilst a proven fact in gbau, are still rather mystic and generally unheard of Typically, they're thought of as near exitinct, when it truth they live under the radar in secret

Those with express features such as pointed ears tend to explain it away by being Elyian (very brief overview! I will get more into how vampires function in a seperate post)

Continued under the cut

Anyway, This being the case, there is lots of prejudice towards vampires, and plenty of blatantly incorrect information, particularly of old historical and/or fictional nature

After reuniting with Grian and Mumbo (and being introduced to Scar) at an unofficial homecoming (hosted by Gem & The Scotts because they wanted to show off perform), Joel takes an interest in writing about the project they're both a part of

Whilst there, however.. He notices how strange and different Grian is

First, and most prominently, his feathers have gold bands on their edges Now, Joel isn't an expert on hybrids, let alone avians, but surely it doesn't make sense for a feather pattern to suddenly change somewhere in adulthood

Following that, not only are his wings singed gold but so are his eyes... And they seem to glow with it?

Possibly least importantly, the man isn't wearing glasses This, by itself, isn't suspicious, but knowing how Grian was in his teens, he HATED contact lenses, and Joel knows he can't see for shit without his glasses

When broached on this, Grian clams up about his wings, muttering something of it being medical, but as for his eyes, his excuse comes in the form of switching to contacts, and, while he's at it, choosing coloured ones

Joel is unsatisfied with this answer, as it doesn't explain the glow his eyes appear to have, nor does he believe Grian would ever get over hating contacts, but he doesn't press further

Later on in the night, he notices a fuss as Grian hurries out into the bathroom

When he asks, Mumbo, who'd stayed behind to make space for him to leave, responds that Grian started having sudden nose bleeds recently

Odd

This is all strange behaviour, but nothing about this sets Joel off to investigate until the day he actually goes in for his article

And sees distinct bite marks on Grian's neck Ones he flusters about and hides quickly

And the whole thing just snowballs from there

Glowing eyes in the dark? Suddenly not requiring glasses? Having 'nosebleeds' where he could be going off to do who knows what Finding someone to feed off of perhaps?

He can't explain the gold in the wings, but it sure only adds to his suspicion!

Joel begins making excuses to remain at their project's headquarters, spinning some story about wanting to make more articles as he (not so) subtly begins digging into Grian

He notes many things like how he always seem tired, sometimes even passing out around the building, and eventually scrounges up from somewhere that he changed jobs, abandoning his own project due to 'not being able to partake in the contruction' anymore

He notes how little Grian goes outside and, when he does, how little he flies compared to when he last saw him

Perhaps the sun makes him tired? Weak enough to not fly? He certainlly seems sickly enough for it

The more time passes the further into a hole he digs himself, noting how Grian appears to recover from injury too fast, how he turns to face people just a fraction too early compared to when they call him, and him knowing things he shouldn't

Such as where someone is in the building, even if Joel KNOWS he hasn't seen them all day

It gets concerning, in fact, how much he puts into this

I love conspiracy theorist Joel He's incredibly suspicious of everything Grian does now, believing it to be an evil vampire plot of some sort I will probably try and write something on the makeshift homecoming, so that I can introduce more characters and their roles/magic in this au Note on the comic: A plaster is a band aid Also I call this a homecoming, but the school system in this universe will be closer to the British schooling system than the American one. Because I don't know anything about it. It confuses me Second notes: The 'project' Grian Scar and Joel are a part of is a hermitcraft equivalent. Eventually I will get everyone moving into the area! starting with Joel convincing Lizzie they should start up a second branch of their cafe there And the project Grian worked on before the incident is a life series equivalent! Alright! Good day, good evening, good night!

[cringengl]

I know that it's a fairly popular opinion that the reason that Ian badmouths Mickey in s6-7 is mostly because the writers wanted us to dislike Mickey and be glad that he was supposed to be permanently gone from the show. However, while I do think this is partially true, I also think that it is veryyyy much in character that Ian says those things and that even if the writers fully planned on having Mickey back in those later seasons, he still would have said what he said.

It basically comes down to the main difference between the Gallaghers and the Milkovichs. The Gallaghers want to escape the southside (at least Fiona down to Liam do), while the Milkovich have claimed it as a part of their identity. They embrace it and are proud to show it off, including Mickey, and even Mandy believes that she will never do any better in life. Because of this, the Gallaghers, who are cocky, look down on the Milkovichs for not wanting to get out of the Southside and see them as more white trash than they are. Ian goes into his relationship with Mickey with this ideology. He's young and wants a boyfriend, and Mickey is hot and gay, so why not?

The problem comes when Ian gets diagnosed. You can see it in 5x10 when Ian calls Mickey the "shit-talking, bitch-slapping piece of Southside trash I fell for" and during that one deleted scene of Ian's dream where he and Mickey are dressed in white and holding Yevgeny. Ian doesn't want to stay in the Southside forever and his dream involves a 'perfect' Mickey, one that wants to hold Yevgeny and have a house together and doesn't cut the sleeves off of his shirts. Mickey didn't initially believe that Ian was bipolar and ignored Fiona and Lip's advice to take him to a hospital to get seen, he's white trash that is happy to scam people with his brothers for the rest of his life. Ian doesn't want that, he wants to have a successful career, live in the suburbs, and grow tomatoes.

After breaking up with Mickey, he's convinced that Mickey would not help with his recovery and mental health. Fiona and Lip certainly think that, plus how is he going to get a good job and recover if his boyfriend is literally in prison and could easily go back?

The problem with that is that Ian is in love with Mickey. Mickey isn't just a shit-talking, bitch-slapping piece of Southside trash, he's the shit-talking, bitch-slapping piece of Southside trash that Ian fell for. Not only that, but the deleted scene of the dream reveals that he genuinely believes in a future with Mickey, and recognises that Mickey is a gentle, loving person, who would make a great dad despite his shitty role model.

These two conflicting ideas are constantly clashing in Ian's head, 'Mickey is bad for me' 'But I love him' 'I don't think I can be where I want to be in life with him' 'I don't want to be without him'. And so, in order to reassure himself, partially through getting other people to agree with him, Ian badmouths Mickey, bringing up the worst of their relationship to convince himself that Caleb and then Trevor is right for him, and a sign that Ian is going to stop being white trash and get out of the Southside, while Mickey would only make him stay.

It's only when Ian realises in s9 that the only person that has made sure that Ian is stuck in the Southside is Ian himself, that he goes, fuck it, I love Mickey and he is a good partner for me.

wow this got super long sorry about that- if u did manage to read this all the way through i'd love to hear your thoughts on whether ian being rude about mickey was in character or not!!

[confusionism]

Although the better part of the evening has been spent being at the forefront of conversation, Aiden’s happy to defer back to Anna for the ride home. How she manages to exude so much energy — even through hours upon hours of work and travel and socialization — is still beyond him. That’s okay. She’s not so much a puzzle to work out as she is a wonder to behold and… Admittedly, he quite enjoys it, holding her, being held.

When he replies, he presses a lazy kiss against the shell of her ear. “I think they were expecting an entourage.” The biggest joke of the night, really, when one considers that his original plans involved researching design ideas for a multifunctional, outdoor patio table. Regardless, he’s hardly disappointed by the reality of the matter, especially when its end has brought his girl back into his arms.

After their final goodbye (or is it their first one, given the hour?), Aiden slips his arm around Anna’s waist and continues the way upstairs. It doesn’t take long for him to notice the little twitch at the corner of her lips. He’s seen this before, and the context is the same: fatigue finally making its home in her bones. He says nothing; his posture can speak for itself.

He allows her to show her keys off one more time before following her through their front door and kicking off his shoes. “I’ll clean later.” Not just because he’s exhausted, but because he’s sure that she is, too. He can feel it with every step, how how their slippers slide smoothly against the hardwood.

“We're definitely not clubbing.” He’ll need about three to five business days to recover, thank you very much. And yet, he’s still eager to propose, “Exploring ‘down under?’” His hand slides up her side until he can give her shoulder a squeeze. “Probably training,” because he wouldn’t be the team manager if each day didn’t have some form of self-improvement or -maintenance somewhere in there. Whatever they actually end up doing, however, Aiden isn’t worried. He knows that it’ll be a good time. Anna is home and the world is their oyster— some cheesy shit like that. "We'll figure it out.” They always do. “Got plenty of time."

"Tony's an ambitious bitch." said with affection, and only a small inflection of defensiveness. Anna; the person and the brand, is a demanding experience. But he's risen to the challenge, as he's wrought to do, and Anna's certain it's a matter of time before he's onto bigger and brighter things. "And he loves a yappy bitch with big eyes and a furry tail." Maybe not the clean up, but honestly, neither would Aiden. All's well that ends well, though, and Anna breathes a sigh of relief when she sees the tank of a car pull up. Suddenly, her thirty-six hours of whirlwind adventure keep up with her.

Not that she'd ever admit to being tired. No, Anna pouts, but neither confirms nor denies. "I had a lot of downtime between shoots." None spent sleeping. Mostly, she's calling Aiden to talk, or making a new Australian pen pal (sixteen and counting). On more than a few occasions, she's sinking into Ainna fanfiction and trying not to blush on set. Sleep, though... It eludes her, unless she's with him.

"Hey! How's it going?" She asks the driver, channeling some cheeriness when she slides into the seat. An instinctive hand place on Aiden's knee, happy to finally be en route home. A quiet, but friendly enough driver, who squeezes said tank through the narrow streets like a champion. "Did they send a big enough car?" She whispers into Aiden's ear, with a small laugh. Luckily, it doesn't take long at this hour.

They're dropped off at the garage (Anna even toted out her Chelsea key chain, proudly showing Aiden her keys). A quick zip up the elevator, and the heaviness in her shoulders begins to deepen with each raised floor. "You're lucky I didn't drag you out clubbing." Anna teases, as if she's not stifling a yawn. Now leaning against Aiden's body, long limbs giving into the tiredness.

"Do we have any plans this weekend?" She likes using we, and Anna nuzzles affectionately against his shoulder. The excitement of two days with no work between them, enough to starve off the tedium of sleep.

[duskiily]

"do you think we're bad people?"

[leah2eroes]

yeah make the disabled girl do unpaid manual labour for you outside in the cold when shes been awake for 20 hours whats the worst that could happen haha

[katyspersonal]

Lrb dear god, this reminded me of that time when Alfred-chan got sooooo mad at my post explaining why fans should respect bisexual headcanons for Maria and Malenia instead of pretending like they're canonically lesbians and that they get oppressed and erased by mxf ships with them. They kept vagueing that post for like a MONTH in their blog including in tags under reblogs of Maria fanart, passively-aggressively changed their url to character+sexuality to "spite" me and then even made a sockpuppet account to start shit with me in the comments.

They deactivated when me and Val completely obliterated their "you cultivate lesbiphobic following by telling people why they should respect all sexuality headcanons instead of acting cultish or assuming their experiences and stereotypes equal canon confirmation" garbage with actual facts and logic tho but I screenshotted everything fjthfgfj (I learned to document everything the hard way after they've changed the she/they pronouns to they/they pronouns ONLY to accuse me of misgendering, so thank you for making me wiser I guess 😎). Even more vile, as they, a white person, larped as an Arab in that sockpuppet to hold even MORE "privilege" against me in discussion gjtjfh Because for them race, gender or sexuality are just badges of honor and dishonor, they don't see these as traits of actual human beings. And Dr Eugene X, who worked with them and weaponized her race to accuse everyone who disagreed with her of racism, didn't bat an eye at such a terrible act too?? As usual, rules are not for their friends, lol

It is not even the worst thing Alfred did, and yet all of this just, just, JUST because I wrote a point on why bisexual headcanon people did nothing wrong and there is no ground to claim something is canon when it isn't. 🤦‍♂️ Like, they were soooo convinced that I hated lesbian headcanons and that I'd feel angry if they called Lady Maria a lesbian, when what I was angry at is this exact toxic behavior in the fandom. No matter how much you like a headcanon, don't be a bitch about it. Maria doesn't """belong""" to any gender or sexuality, she belongs to anyone who likes her and is invested in her complexity as a character!!!

Yet, apparently, common Malenia simps / Finlay shippers are no better than common Maria simps / Mariadeline shippers. Just, wild how after shit like this, many people have the guts to claim that it is "sexist redditbros" who are the biggest problem of creators in the fandom. 🤦‍♂️ They'd actually blush if they encountered what such self-proclaimed "feminists" do to their own (!!!) over headcanons. 🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️

[arkadijxpancakes]

Yeeeep, that's also the vibe I'm getting.

I know, there are fans who argue with "But they are there because they have spell damage! Muggle-psychology wouldn't work!" (with the implication that it's okay how the patients are treated). But that doesn't make that much sense.

As you already said: While they are affected permanently, they have completely different health issues.

I mean, Lockhart suffered spell damage, yes. While this seems to be permanent, it is noted in the text that his condition is improving. But if his condition is indeed improving, providing him with therapy to encourage further improvement would make a lot of sense. However, from the way it's presented, this really is "just a bonus". He would probably benefit from living at home with a caregiver. (However, considering his ... illustrious ... career, it's possible that he doesn't have any family members who would be willing to provide that care. So I at least understand why he's there.)

Then there is Broderick Bode - who was injured recently and also shows signs of improvement. Why is that guy on this ward? Like, at all? His condition doesn't seem to be permanent, after all. And the injury was relatively recent, too. At least, he's also suffering from spell damage, so yay?

Then there is a witch with fur all over her body. We don't know what happened to her or whether it was a spell that caused it. It seems similar to what happened to Hermione, when she took that cat-hair-polyjuice potion. The wiki suggests that it could be a failed attempt at becoming an animagus. (But if we believe extended canon, that's a fucking potion, too.)

And then there are the Longbottoms, of course. And I'm not sure that their condition even is spell damage. Sure, it was caused by being tortured with magic. But there is no proof in the books that the spell attacks the mind. It "just" causes pain. Even if it targets pain receptors, the damage we see wouldn't fit that bill, either. So it might be good, old-fashioned trauma instead. Which could be treated. If you don't lock them away in a mental ward and pretend they don't exist, that is.

And it's not like being stuck in this ward would help with recovering/improving. There is little to no privacy. The healer seems to work the "let's leave them here and infantilize them, maybe they will get better on their own"-approach. (At the very least, there doesn't seem to be a treatment plan for any of her patients, apart from encouragement.) They also seem to be pretty ... forgotten. Augusta visits, but she clearly treats this as an obligation. (Maybe one she puts up with because of Neville.) She's pretty dismissive, too.* It seems like Agnes' family operates on a similar level. (Her son send an owl to inform her/the healer that he will come for a Christmas-visit. The scene doesn't read like that guy is showing up particularly often.)

Regarding Dumbledore - I doubt that he visits them. Even if he did, his visit would probably look like the ones Augusta is performing.

Apart from that ... I just found this quote:

JKR: That was also asked of me this morning. That idea was one of the very few that was inspired by a real event. I was told what, to me, was a very sad story by someone I know about their elderly mother who had Alzheimer's, and the elderly mother was in a closed ward. She was very severely demented and no longer recognized her son, but he went faithfully to visit her twice a week, and he used to take her sweets. That was their point of connection; she had a sweet tooth, she recognized him as the sweet-giver. That was very poignant to me. So I embroidered the story. Neville gives his mother what she wants, and (it makes me sad to think of it) she wants to give something back to him, but what she gives back to him is essentially worthless. But he still takes it as worth something because she's trying to give, so it does mean something, in emotional terms. (Source)

Excuse me, while I'm a little bit sick.

...

Holy fucking shit.

Like, the fuck. This makes it worse. So. Much. Worse.

* I have to correct my earlier post, here. She doesn't stop Neville from interacting with his mother. However, she is very dismissive in that scene, clearly looks down on their gesture and gives heavy "This is ridiculous and useless. Let's leave."-vibes.

(possibly) controversial opinion time: I honestly think that Draco wouldn't have been able to cast the Cruciatus on Harry when they fought in Myrtle's bathroom .

I admit freely that I'm an unrepentant Draco stan and therefore have rose tinted glasses permanently on when it comes to anything that involves him, 'tis but one of the burdens I have to carry in this wretched life, yet when I originally came upon this conclusion I believed I was being somewhat objective in my assessment.

To check if my theory holds as much water as I've always believed it does, I went looking through canon for clues. During my investigation I stumbled upon one confusing factoid after another so obviously I had to go and write this rambling essay about it; feast your eyes on this,

PART 1: THE CURSE

The Cruciatus curse, cast through the use of the word crucio (latin for "torture")* is considered to be one of the wizarding world's worst curses and is fittingly prohibited by law and placed in the "unforgivable" class together with Imperio and Avada Kedavra.

We first learn of its existence in book 4, thanks to a helpful demonstration courtesy of Barty Crouch jr. (cosplaying as Alastor "Mad Eye" Moody) as part of his Defense Against the Dark Arts class. It's quite fitting that he's the one to make this introduction as Barty is what you'd call an expert. As a matter of fact, most of the information we receive on the Cruciatus curse comes by way of two veritable crucio savants, Barty Crouch jr. and Bellatrix Lestrange. As far as reliability goes, I'd say these two are truly top notch since they went to Azkaban for their use of that very curse in what is perhaps the most notable instance of Cruciatus in the books; I'm talking, of course, of the mind-breaking torture of Frank and Alice Longbottom.

The Longbottoms no doubt give us a very big indication of what happens to people subjected to the curse, even though theirs is an extreme case that doesn't reflect the average victim. Let us start our investigation into the Cruciatus with Harry's case instead since, in his dual role role as protagonist and main pov in the books , he can provide us with a firsthand account of the curse's effects. To quote Harry:

(from GoF, courtesy of Voldemort)

Fake Moody puts it plainly when he explains crucio's purpose as

(from GoF, Harry's first class with Barty is Eventful)

Fittingly for a universe where intent is perhaps the strongest component of any spell, the Cruciatus curse requires the caster to be in a very specific frame of mind. To quote Bellatrix:

(from OotP, Bella kinds takes it upon herself to teach harry about magic)

and I'm inclined to take her word on account of both her experience in the field and the fact that she is never contradicted.

Getting back to the ABCs of crucio, I will now take a brief moment to describe the effects of prolonged Cruciatus use through what we learn from its effects on Frank and Alice Longbottom.

The Longbottoms' condition is never explained to us in detail, all we have to go by comes to us by way of casual utterances from their friends, family and colleagues. Moody (the real one this time) gives us a very succinct recap on how we're supposed to feel about what happened to them:

(from OotP, Moody does a brief "where are they now?" on the OG members of the Order)

But what is this terrible condition that leads many characters to feel as though the Longbottoms life is not worth living?

They are mentally ill. That's it.

(seriously)

To quote Dumbledore:

(from GoF, Dumbledore divulges information that is not his to share)

This is treated like a Brave and Noble sacrifice, as they were tortured for an unusually long time because they refused to give informations on Voldemort's whereabouts to their tortures (the fact that they didn't have said information is treated as irrelevant)**. As Augusta Longbottom puts it:

(from OotP, spoiler alert, Augusta doesn't behave like she's proud)

The Longbottoms are called "insane" and "mad" by various characters so we can somewhat extrapolate from that that Cruciatus overuse leads to cognitive impairments of some kind. The medical consensus seems to be that the damage was done to them, whatever it is, is irreparable as they are kept in the Janus Thickey ward, the wizarding equivalent of an insane asylum***.

Since the use of Cruciatus leaves no physical signs and its only outcome manifests itself as unmeasurable pain on the target's part, it is often theorised that the Cruciatus works by acting on the victims' pain receptors. This, of course, is just speculation but the books do seem to indicate something to this effect.

*= brief latin intermission

"cruciatus" in not a conjugation of the verb "crucio" in the active form (as in "I'm torturing someone"). It is, however, a conjugation in the passive form (as in "i'm being tortured") and can be more or less translated to I/you/he/she/it am being tortured or I/you/he/she/it was being tortured or I/you/he/she/it will be tortured (so, like, the opposite of what you should name a torture curse).

"Crucio" IS a conjugation in the active form and it translates roughly to "I torture", though it's not the tense I'd use if I were to issue a torture command (like, I'd use the imperative, you know?)

latin intermission over

**= as an aside, the narrative glosses over the fact that Frank and Alice were tortured for basically no reason and there was nothing they could have done to avoid their fate.; we are supposed to view this as a noble sacrifice instead of the senseless tragedy it is and that grinds my gears greatly. Also, why does everyone seem so sure that this is what happened? As Dumbledore puts it, the post-torture Longbottoms were viewed as unreliable so we don't know this from them since they weren't even able to tell aurors who the culprits were and there had to be an investigation to ascertain that. From what we can gleam by wading through Dumbledore's pensieve memories, the Lestranges + Barty weren't exactly cooperative with the investigation so, again, why is everyone so sure of what happened?

***= I used the (outdated and tasteless) term "insane asylum" intentionally since the Thickey ward doesn't look to be in any way shape or form similar to mental wards, psychiatric hospitals or halfway houses; from the little we do see the magical world doesn't seem to be terribly up to date on mental health as a whole and I shudder to think what jkr herself thinks on the matter.

PART 2: SUCCESSFULLY CAST CRUCIOS

SInce its introduction during Goblet of Fire, we see and/or hear of the Cruciatus curse being successfully cast 12 times. Those are:

5 TIMES IN BOOK 4

done by Fake moody on a spider (for illustrative purposes)

done by Voldemort on Peter (as seen by Harry in a dream, punishment for incompetence)

done by the Imperiused Victor Krum on Cedric Diggory (during the third task of the triwizard tournament, Barty is the person who imperiused Krum)

done by Voldemort on Avery (right after his resurrection at the cemetery, punishment for the twin sins of disobedience and general unfaithfulness)

done by Voldemort on Harry (toying with Harry at the cemetery)

1 TIME IN BOOK 5

[Voldemort performs crucio on Sirius in the vision that brings Harry to dept. of mysteries but since that doesn't actually happen I'm not counting it ]

done by Bellatrix Lestrange on Neville (at the dept. of Mysteries, for funsies)

6 TIMES IN BOOK 7

[Aberforth recounts being crucio'd by Grindlewald decades before over a disagreement but I'm not counting it, just like I didn't count the crucio-ing of the Longbottoms, because it happens before book 1 nor is it witnessed by Harry ]

done by Draco on Thorfin Rowle (as witnessed by Harry in a vision, done under threat of crucio)

done by unknown Deatheaters on the Tonkses (happens off-page with the aim of getting information on Harry's whereabouts)*

done by Bellatrix on Hermione (at Malfoy Manor, with the aim of getting information on the sword of Gryffindor)

done by Voldemort on Ollivander (happens off-page, with the aim of getting information on wandlore)

done by Vincent Crabbe and Gregory Goyle on various Hogwarts students ( several instances condensed into one for lack of information, as recounted by Neville)

done by Harry on Amycus Carrow (during the battle of Hogwarts, because he spat in McGonagall's face)**

*= one would think that, since this event parallels the crucio-ing of the Longbottoms, it'd get more attention, and yet the event is told to us by Remus in a throwaway line.

**= I'm not even going into the OOC-ness of this moment. Plenty of people, far more eloquent than me, have written about the perversion of Harry's character that this moment represents, also I truly lack the words to describe my rage at this scene.

PART 3: UNSUCCESSFULLY CAST CRUCIOS

During the events of the books we witness almost as many unsuccessful Cruciatus undertakings as we do successful ones. These attempts are:

by Dolores Umbridge on Harry, for funsies (INTERRUPTED)

by Harry on Bellatrix Lestrange, in revenge for Sirius's death (INEFFECTIVE)

by Bellatrix on Harry immediately following his attempt (DODGED)

by Draco on Harry in Myrtle's bathroom, as part of the escalation of his fight with Harry (INCOMPLETE CASTING)

by Harry on Severus Snape following Dumbledore's death (BLOCKED)

by Amycus Carrow on Ginny, creepily* (DODGED)

by Vincent Crabbe on Harry in the room of hidden things (MISSED)

by Voldemort on "dead" Harry, to humiliate his corpse (INEFFECTIVE)

Taking the instances where the curse was dodged aside, I would like to focus on the occasions where the curse was ineffective.

Harry and Bellatrix's instance tells us a lot about the mechanisms of the curse as Bellatrix takes time out of her busy schedule to school Harry on the intricacies of torture. Harry has at this point in time just witnessed Sirius's murder and is being taunted and goaded by Bellatrix; this is how his emotional state at the time of casting is described:

Instead of the desired effect, however, the curse merely topples her.

Hatred, it seems, is not the emotion required to successfully cast a Cruciatus. As Bellatrix states immediately afterwards, the spell requires a degree of sadism on the caster's part.

The other mention of a failed casting comes right at the end of the books, when Voldemort crucios Harry's "corpse". The spell, just like in the instance described above, merely knocks Harry about, to the delight of onlookers. This is greatly implied to be because the wand Voldemort is using - the elder wand- recognises Harry as its true master and is therefore unwilling to truly harm him; In this case it's not the caster's will that is lacking but the wand's.

To close out this section, I would like to highlight Umbridge's attempt: after having captured Harry &co. in her office, she decides it's the perfect time to threaten unforgivables. As Harry stares defiantly at her, Umbridge states

and, relishing in the anticipation, goes about deciding where to cast until she's successfully distracted by Hermione. This is notable since it's the only instance in the books where a caster implies the possibility of somehow directing the curse. Umbridge is described as moving her wand over Harry's body and trying to decide on the most painful spot possible; since no-one else ever mentions the possibility of concentrating the Cruciatus on a particular body part it's unclear wether this is actually possible or if Umbridge is just an inexperienced torturer.

*= Amycus's words as he casts crucio are "you cant dance forever, pretty" since Ginny has been successfully evading him so far. I'm pointing this out because of the grossness on jkr's part of using attempted torture as an opportunity for telling us that Ginny is smoking hot. Also, in a "look how the tables have turned" moment, Amycus will, in a year's time, become Harry's only crucio victim

PART 4: INCONSISTENCIES

In going through the previous lists, a few inconsistencies appear:

Even though we've been told that intent is paramount when attempting the Cruciatus, an imperiused Viktor Krum is able to successfully cast the curse in book 4. In the same vein, Draco is able to crucio Thorfin Rowle even though he is shown to be unwilling to do so; somehow, being ordered or otherwise compelled fulfils the criteria of casting crucio. Harry, as he witnesses the scene form Voldemort's pov, recounts that

Even if we take into account the fact that Voldemort, who is directing the operation, is more than willing to crucio Rowle, neither Draco or (possibly) his wand are so why is he successful? How can one force oneself to crucio his fellow men if their will is lacking? This remains unclear.

Now we come to Draco and Harry's failed castings of the Cruciatus in book 6:

Draco is in the heat of battle as he duels Harry after he's been caught crying in Myrtle's bathroom (the horror), the scene is described as fast-paced and hectic:

Notice how Draco is able to get two thirds of the word out before he is hit by Harry's curse. Let's compare that with Harry's attempt on Snape, as he runs away from Hogwarts in the immediate aftermath of Dumbledore's "murder" (aka suicide by underling):

Notice how Harry is able to get an even smaller fraction of the word "crucio" out of his mouth than Draco yet somehow his curse was already partway formed and visible, twice: there needed to be something tangible in order for the curse to be blocked by Snape, and not did he succeed but he was also able to parry it. This is in direct contrast to Draco, who was saying the word with no visible effect. The inconsistency remains even if we take into account the possibility that one's ability to cast nonverbally could come into play, since Draco had just demonstrated his ability to cast without speaking not one minute before, during the bathroom duel:

Both Harry and Draco are shown casting non-verbally to great effect, even though under the strain of battle, yet only one of them is able to physicalise the curse.

[I'm not even going to go into the ridiculousness of Harry somehow being able to shout a four syllable word in the time it takes Draco to get one half of a two syllable word out. just know that the scene is not fleshed out terribly well in the book.]

PART 5: CONCLUSION

Even after going through all the books with a fine tooth comb I continue to find myself rock solid in my belief that Draco's crucio wouldn't have been in the least bit effective. Not only is there a lack of physical evidence of his intent, like there is with Harry in the same book, but I truly do not believe that Draco was in the right frame of mind.

Even taking Draco's demonstrable aversion to physical violence aside, there is no indication that Draco was anything other than furious at the time of the sectumsempra incident, which makes his situation similar to Harry's failed casting book 5.

The books tell us plainly that rage alone is not sufficient to cast the Cruciatus and we are shown by Draco's only actual crucio (and also Krum's) that at least someone needs to be in the right frame of mind in order for the curse to succeed, even if it's just the person directing the proceedings.

Of course, all of this is just speculation. Don't take my word as fact and feel free to come to your own conclusions, this essay mostly exists to demonstrate why I believe what I believe, though I hope it was an enjoyable read nonetheless.

xoxo

[thebreakfastgenie]

Please tell us more hamster lore

My hamster Mo, the one who learned how to open his cage, also reliably came when called. So I woke up very early in the morning on Thanksgiving when I was like nine or ten and thought I saw movement so I said "Mo?" and he came running and beamed up at me from the floor next to my bed like "look at me! I'm out!" because he was a little shit.

Mo also knew how to open a hamster ball from the inside. I had another one later who chewed the tabs off the lid so it no longer closed, but Mo didn't do that, he just figured out how to unlatch the lid from the inside and he was a bigger hamster so he could get the job done physically. I kept leaving him in a room in his ball while I was cleaning his cage and coming back to find him running loose unsupervised (which was not safe, even in my room, and he was often in the ball in even less hamster-proofed rooms) and my mom kept chastising me for not latching the ball securely and telling me I had to pay closer attention while I insisted I was. We started having my dad sit in the room while Mo was running in the ball to supervise him so he was getting chastised too for not watching closely. And then finally one night we caught Mo in the act of opening the ball and I had proof he had been framing us. My mom did apologize to me lol and to be fair, it's much more believable that a 10-year-old didn't latch a ball correctly than that a hamster was just routinely opening it.

Mo was a genius but he would periodically go insane and stuff his plastic tubes with tightly packed bedding. He had two habitrail cages connected by a fairly long tube system because the space I had for the cage limited the layout a little bit. The two cages were parallel and thankfully connected by a tube on each side, so he had two routes, but he did periodically stuff both of them at the same time and we'd have to empty them out at 6am before leaving for school. And then one time he somehow managed to Cask of Amontillado himself in the middle of a tube with tightly packed bedding both in front of him and behind him. My mom recently saw an X-ray video online of a hamster turning around in a narrow space and sent it to me like "that's how he did it!!!" Fortunately I noticed what he'd done pretty quickly so we were able to free him before he like got dehydrated.

At the same time as Mo I had Snowball who was pure white and looked exactly like a small Snowball when she was curled up. Mo and Snowball had to be separate because they were a male and female and also because Syrian hamsters are solitary and will be aggressive toward each other. The only reason I had two at the same time is that I had seen both of them at two pet stores and had trouble deciding and when I was looking at Snowball at the worse pet store the employee tried to get her out to show her to me (competent employees always use a box for the smaller animals, she just grabbed her with her hands) and dropped her. Snowball was a teeny tiny baby hamster who fell four feet onto a concrete floor and she was stunned for a bit but alive and started to regain function after a few minutes. The manager (who felt bad about the whole thing and was generally doing her best) didn't want to let me take her but I was insistent and, well, see how well you hold up against a tiny 9-year-old with round glasses and long pigtails lecturing you about how if the hamster is going to die she deserves to die in peace and quiet while the mom just kind of looks at you like 🤷‍♀️

I knew there was a chance Snowball wouldn't make it but I believed in her. My parents were convinced she was going to die so they took me back to the better pet store to take Mo too, since I'd been attached to him too and they figured having another hamster already would be better when Snowball inevitably died. But Snowball was a survivor so I had two hamsters which is twice the work because they needed totally separate habitats but #WorthIt. Snowball grew from teeny tiny to a good sized female Syrian hamster and was the most athletic hamster I ever had. They all climbed the bars on the cages but she literally did pull-ups. I swear she did it on purpose. She was buff. The only lingering physical symptom was that her urine was always weird, but it didn't seem to cause her any pain and she lived to be two years old which is good for a Syrian, the normal lifespan is 18-24 months and 18-20 is really more common. I think she probably had traumatic damage to one kidney from the fall but had enough function to get by. Her traumatic beginning did understandably make her hate most humans. I was very gentle and patient with her and in time socialized her to be a totally friendly pet with me but she never liked anyone else. She tolerated my mom enough that my mom could take care of her if I wasn't there and could pet her when I had her out but she was a one-person rodent because I was the only one who believed in her and saved her life.

A couple weeks after Mo escaped Snowball also popped the cage open. She was smart but I don't think she understood how opening the cage worked quite as well as Mo did but she did it and she got out of her cage, off the dresser it was on, across the room, and somehow climbed up into a child-sized wooden chair and used the (fairly precarious) stack of books and stuff to get onto the table Mo's cage was on and then climbed up the outside of his cage and went to sleep on top of it. I woke up it the wee hours of the morning, saw a blurry (my glasses were not on) white shape on top of my hamster's cage and was so confused. I went over and realized it was Snowball and she was so still I thought she was dead but I touched her and she woke up and I was like hello???? At this point I had been through enough incidents like this that despite being like ten years old and extremely groggy I had the presence of mind to put her in the hamster ball until we could figure out how she got out of the cage in the first place so I did that and went to wake up my parents who didn't believe me and kept asking if I was dreaming. After a few minutes they realized it was real and my mom to this day is like "can you blame us? that was insane" and I'm like can you blame ME for being offended that you thought I was dreaming when I just lived through all that?? Also later I found out Snowball had stolen an entire box of treats while she was out and stashed them in the back of my closet.

We came up with the miniature bungee cords after that lol.

It wouldn't have been good for Snowball's health to breed them and also hamsters have litters of up to ten and finding good homes for them is really hard so it wouldn't have been responsible but I always wanted to breed Mo and Snowball because their offspring would have been super hamsters.

This is already super long but next time I'll tell you about my first hamster Sunny who's the reason I knew how to act in the event of a hamster escape.

[thisurlwasnttakenbutnowitis]

My supervisor at work just made me hop on a call with her, demanding me to explain to her why I was "ignoring her messages" last night. You wanna know what time her first message came in? 5:04 PM. You wanna know what time my shift ends and I shut down my computer for the night? 5:00 PM. Now, anyone with half a brain and especially someone with readily-available access to my schedule and my clock punches could probably suss out the reason I didn't respond to those messages, hmm? And yet there I was, having to defend myself with simple facts that she could have figured out herself if she had taken one fucking second to look! Oh, and of course there was no apology from her afterwards either, because why would there be? It's not like she was wrong or anything, because oh, my status in Microsoft Teams still showed as "available" for a second when she messaged, I'm sorry. Because that never takes a few minutes to automatically update or anything. So the lesson here wasn't "maybe put in the tiniest amount of research before coming at one of your employees with instant accusations", no, it's that I need to make sure I manually set my status to offline in Microsoft Teams when I leave for the day.

I have been at my job for 5 years, and in that time, I have had 6 supervisors. I've never kept the same one for too long, and I'm hoping that trend continues because this is the first supervisor I've had that has actively made me hate my job. 🥲

[carbonateddelusion]

I know I haven't said much about it, but legitimately, "running away" was one of the most pivotal life decisions I've ever made. Probably THE first major life decision I've made, and also the best. If you have an opportunity to go, leave. Get out of there. If you are not safe at home, emotionally, physically, whatever, and you're able to leave, do it. It's going to suck such major ass for a while because you're going to have to deal with the scars they've left on you, but I wholeheartedly, full-throatedly, with-my-chest promise you that it is going to be better. You're going to be better. If you have the privilege of being able to escape, no matter how difficult it feels, then RUN.

[mars-ipan]

still insane to me how ppl pretend fatphobia is about health only to continue to be fatphobic when someone gains weight or even just looks somewhat fatter as a result of improving health

[dawnthefluffyduck]

I drew this explanation post for why I was completely inactive for a week, but then felt too anxious and drained to post it, and subsequently disappeared for a second week

Two main blog drawings and one side blog wip later, I remembered I made this and still think it's funny, so even though I stopped being dead (TM) I still wanted to share lol

Brief series of events at work

^^^old, but I'm still taking it easy so posts on both this blog and my alt will continue to be scattered for now

[dootznbootz]

As someone with ADHD, you know you're fucking exhausted when you're not even fidgeting. :'D

[baekuras]

Thinking about Luis surviving & recovering while Leon gets to sit at his bedside or wherever reading Don Quixote to him <3

[theood]

If I could change one thing in my life I'd make it so no one ever commented on food