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xylatox · 2 days ago

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And alas, the final chapter the thorns and flowers, it's such a bittersweet feeling that the end is here.

God I love the change in their relationship like—by the time yeonjun was leaving, he couldn’t be less surprised—and more content—when you were there to hug him goodbye, cozily wrapped into his cardigan and cute fluffy socks he put on you himself to keep you warm. he pecked your nose and promised to text you every free second, as you hugged him tight mumbling that you wouldn’t stop bothering him if he didn’t keep the promise. — they are so cute, but my poor darling reader overthinking it noo :(

The progressive intimacy is so insane like??? I genuinely have no other words but it's so good, it does hurt to see that the busyness(?) made the relationship a bit strained, and the fights:( I'm heartbroken, and I know people can say things in the heat of the moment, but yet my heart really does break when the quarrel occurs. I know this part is the thorns, but it still hurts yknow.

but yeonjun wouldn’t be himself if he let it stay that way—he just hoped you wouldn’t hate him for it—and scooped you up, careful to not let the plushie fall, as he carried you to his bed, laying you down gently and checking that you had everything you needed. he threw one last glance at you before grabbing his own things, including one of his t-shirt that you used to sleep in, now carrying a mix of both your scents, and left the bedroom—it was his obligation to sleep on the couch, never yours.— I know they stoll love each other, but fights still break my heart :(

the bond was back. his soulmate was back too. right when it was the worst possible moment—when he wasn’t even sure if his lover would forgive him, when he needed love and comfort more than anything, when he wanted nothing more than be weak. he thought he wouldn’t care, thought these parts of him had long since healed or dead, but now… now it felt like someone who had been by his side through the warmest moments of his life, who had grown up with him, who had been a long-forgotten dream and long-abandoned hope and could only bring tranquility and happiness into his life, was suddenly back. like his first love had come back.—oh my god no.

Like ik it's a soulmate au, but I feel like a clown LOL, I know they're meant to be but I couldn't help but feel so shocked at that moment, like ofc we realized from readers perspective that it was just her but God. Something about this soulmate bond makes me so scared. But Jjun also thinking it's coincidence just :((( baby no

“can we take our time, please?” you asked quietly, looking up at yeonjun, as he moved your hair away from your face, tucking it behind your ear with a puzzled expression. “all that… soulmates thing. i'm still so confused…” you admitted, ashamed. not even because you were postponing talking about it, but because you felt so unbelievably dumb for not noticing it earlier—the way yeonjun just fit right in into you life, mind, heart and soul, as if there was a place shaped exactly for him and no one else, made it pretty obvious. — god I love them your honor.

A moment to appreciate the world building of this fic, it's so darn amazing oh my god.

“they align, jjun,” you whispered into his skin, and he instantly understood why your heart was beating so fast. there were myths about aligning marks, but none of the wild roses ever mentioned it, so he had brushed it off as another lie without a second thought, never even considering checking it with you. “so…” you swallowed thickly. “is it enough to… be sure we’re soulmates?”—this kind of intimacy is so insane.

I absolutely love the end, I love that despite a the chaos that came with their bond, they still found each other and will always be meant for each other. This was an insane 3 part series and a lovely way for me to end of the valentines series. This was absolutely amazing.

₊ ˚ ⊹ ♡ . ⠀wild roses | chapter 3 ; the thorns and flowers

⠀⠀⠀neighbour!yeonjun x fem!reader

← to chapter 2 | ♡ you're here ♡

genre ; soulmate au, hurt/comfort, angst, fluff, humour, smut wordcount ; 19.6k

warnings | tags ; unhealthy relationship with pain [mentions of self-inflicted pain and self-neglect]; yeonjun does some kinda questionable stuff [less questionable, but yeah, he continues]; self-hate and self-pity; fighting, injury and yeonjun overworks himself

smut warnings ; dom + soft sadist yeonjun x sub + soft masochist reader; no condoms [reader is on pills]; pain inflicting; yeonjun and reader are horny and use it as copying mechanism. ⠀⠀⠀mentions of wet dreams, free use kink, oral, somnophilia, cockwarming, dumbification; ⠀⠀⠀descriptions of spit play and cum play, hair pulling, choking, spanking / slapping; ⠀⠀⠀smut scenes with marking, fingering, cumming inside.

⠀⠀⠀[ event masterlist | my masterlist | wild roses masterlist ]

the next morning was a bit strange, but in a good way—yeonjun woke up early and tried to carefully leave the bed so as not to wake you up on a saturday, but you still stirred awake and sleepily followed him to the kitchen. he couldn’t stop throwing glances thinking how cute you were as you struggled to stay awake, your head leaning against the wall—you kept yawning, rubbing your eyes, looking like a little sleepy kitten that just needed to crawl back into bed and sleep as much as it wanted. he tried to send you off, but you refused to leave the kitchen, insisting you were perfectly awake—your sentence was interrupted by a yawn not once, but twice.

when yeonjun returned from the bathroom to grab the hairdryer, he found you curled up on the couch right where you could see the bathroom door—well, if you weren't fast asleep. he almost let you rest, but considering how stubborn you’d been earlier… he woke you up, asking if you wanted to keep him company while he dried his hair. of course, you didn’t say no, trailing after him like the cutest little ghost before perching on the countertop. you were a bit more awake now, watching him drying his hair and giggling when he kept using the dryer to warm your cold hands and feet. he couldn’t stop smiling the whole time—he felt the happiest he had ever been.

by the time yeonjun was leaving, he couldn’t be less surprised—and more content—when you were there to hug him goodbye, cozily wrapped into his cardigan and cute fluffy socks he put on you himself to keep you warm. he pecked your nose and promised to text you every free second, as you hugged him tight mumbling that you wouldn’t stop bothering him if he didn’t keep the promise.

but you started overthinking more and more the more awake you got—were you too clingy? too annoying and needy? at first, you wanted to bring yeonjun lunch and spend extra time with him, but you weren’t sure if he wanted to see you, so you decided to stay at his apartment, grabbing your laptop from your place to busy yourself with something. you still couldn’t stop thinking about it, though, trying to figure out how you were supposed to behave now, when you were dating—you didn’t want to ruin everything.

yeonjun noticed the way your texts were becoming more closed off, so he wasn't sure you still were at his place, and he was relieved to see you there. you even came out to greet him, making his heart melt at your slightly awkward hug as you shyly pecked his cheek. he still noticed something was wrong, though, and when you told him what was bothering you, deciding to be honest, he tried his best not to smile at how cute you were. he felt like his heart was going to burst, but he took your hands in his, kneeling before the couch you were sitting on and saying that you could do anything you wanted, anything that felt natural for you, and while he knew it could be risky, he still wanted to give you freedom.

that was how yeonjun found out you were clingy—you loved hugging him, being held by him or just touching or being touched in any way. you never was too much, though, always just perfect—you never got upset over him asking you to give him some space or wanting to spend time with his friends, welcoming him back into your arms just as warmly as if he’d never left. you always reached out for him despite shyness—if he didn’t reach out first, of course, and you always seemed to glow when he did, looking at him like he put stars in the sky, not simply took your hand.

and yeonjun loved touching you—he was basically obsessed with it, as if he were a man who had never touched or been touched in his life. it felt like he needed to have his hand on you whenever he had the opportunity, and he couldn’t be happier when he found out you were just as clingy and enjoyed his touches as much as he enjoyed giving them to you. every time he felt you leaning into his hand or murmuring how nice it felt and how you wished his touch could stay on you forever, his heart grew a little fuller.

later, when you progressed to yet another stage, yeonjun also found out that your sex drive was… high. strangely enough, it matched his own well, and while he tried to keep things vanilla between you, the two of you still managed to test out almost every surface of his and your apartments, whenever and wherever he managed to get a hard-on or you clung to him just a bit differently than usual, looking at him that way with the softest ‘jjun…’ he had ever heard.

yeonjun wasn’t sure he had ever found you not wet. of course, there always was at least a bit of foreplay before putting his hand down your bottoms—grinding against you for a bit, kissing every sensitive spot on your neck and shoulder, whispering a few praises with a huge emphasis on ‘my’—but it only affected how wet you were. he teased you once about it and you, completely embarrassed, admitted that he was just too hot while doing basically anything, let alone touching you or saying all this “hot stuff”. he wouldn’t believe your words if he wasn’t ‘witnessing’ it with his own fingers pretty much often.

so it wasn’t much of a surprise that while yeonjun tried to keep his kinks hidden from you, as most of them walked hand in hand with pain or other sides of himself that he wanted to hide, because he was almost sure you were that kind of a wild rose that wasn’t into it, a free use kink was introduced relatively early, and—oh—how bad you both loved it. he hadn’t really had an opportunity to try it fully despite being interested, sticking to one-night stands for years, and you heard of it before, thinking it was hot and, well, it suited the sex life of you two pretty well. at first, yeonjun wasn’t sure he’d be able to stay vanilla—free use kink sounding kinda rough—but it was just as giggly, happy and full of smiles, while the bed was reserved for something more serious and prolonged.

it slowly flowed into a low-key somnophilia, when yet another night yeonjun woke up from your soft whimpers of his name into his neck, as you clenched the fabric of his t-shirt in your hand and tried to grind yourself against his thigh. these nights were the hardest for him, because his body immediately reacted to how needy you were for him, but he never woke you up—until one night it was just too much after almost a week of no proper sex because of your busy and draining schedules.

yeonjun shook your shoulder gently, whispering your name along with a bunch of sweet nicknames, when he realized his already painful hard-on wouldn't go away on its own. you stirred awake eventually, heart almost thumping in your chest as you tried to catch your breath and shoosh the remnants of the dream away—they had become softer and more vanilla when you started having sex, but recently the dreams were getting more and more kinky, returning to the way they were before you started dating.

you knew yeonjun understood what kind of dream it was, and you feared he'd laugh at you or, worse, be disgusted, so you sat up, crawling back from him and looking down on your hands in shame, ready to hear anything he wanted to say. but when he sat up too, facing you, you saw the tent in his boxers, a dark gray wet patch on top, visible even in the dim light. your mouth filled with saliva as you clenched around nothing—you wanted to taste him and feel him stretch you so perfectly and actually just anything he desired after that long week, the remnants of the dream making your already insane need for him almost maddening.

yeonjun nodded when you finally looked him in the eyes—he was too horny to joke about them being up there, and you were feeding his ego so badly by looking at his dick like you were ready to beg for it any moment. the thought made him twitch—gosh, he hoped he'd hear you truly begging one day. he moved closer, parting your knees with his, as he put his hands on your bare thighs, ready to manhandle you the second you agreed. “right now or til morning?” he asked, his voice low and husky.

you looked at him almost towering over you, resembling a predator ready to pounce—hell, how anyone could be that hot in the middle of the night with hair in a complete mess? just looking at him made you dripping wet. you thought you would do anything he told you right now, and if he didn't, you were ready to beg. you licked your lips before answering almost breathlessly. “right now.”

neither of you were sure you actually finished the already short sentence before yeonjun's lips were on yours, and you were lying on your back, his elbow by the side of your head as he wrapped your leg around his waist—the rest of your limbs followed the action on their own accord. how badly he tried to keep his teeth to himself, licking your lower lip instead of biting it, as he grinded his dick against you, mentally cursing himself for not thinking about taking your underwear off earlier—he knew he wouldn't be able to stop and detach himself from you now.

you moaned into yeonjun's lips—the angle he grinded at was just right, and your mind went absolutely crazy when you thought of these messy, full of saliva kisses he blessed you with unfairly rarely. his tongue slipped between your lips almost reflexively the second you gave him space to do it, and he groaned at the way you tightened your legs around his waist, your calves trying to press his hips closer to yours.

if yeonjun thought it'd be difficult to stay vanilla before—considering he already failed it by the too dominant way he was treating you— he realized it was absolutely impossible, when you whimpered a few needy “jjun, please, inside”s into his lips and then neck, clinging to him like that. how could he not pull your hair, wrap his fingers around your neck, grip your wrists, dig his nails into your thighs, cover your neck in bites, spank you and do everything he did to you in his dreams when you sounded exactly like you did there?

yeonjun needed to be inside you—fuck, he probably needed it more than you did, before your tiny, beautifully pathetic ‘please’, repeated again and again, managed to rob him of the last pieces of sanity and control he was holding onto so desperately. he clenched the bed sheets as hard as he could, stopping himself from grabbing your jaw to force your mouth away from his neck so he could shut you up with his lips. or how good you'd look with my hand on your face, he thought, tilting your head as gently as he could in his current state to press his lips against yours again, swallowing your last whimpers before you got distracted by his tongue once more.

you doubted you would ever feel or taste heaven—definitely not after what was happening right now—but were you sure yeonjun tasted and felt better than any heaven anyone in the universe could imagine. he barely started, and you already didn't want it to end—the thought, the only thought your dazed mind could come up with except ‘more’, ‘jjun’, and ‘please’, making you tighten your hold around him, not wanting to let him go.

yeonjun cursed quietly—he loved having you close—any moment actually—and especially when you were having sex, but the way you refused to move your hips away, tightening your legs around him the second he wanted to move his boxers down to free his dick so he could finally fuck you, was driving him mad. he wanted to slap your thigh, telling you to behave, but he couldn't—he groaned into your shoulder in frustration, as he managed to finally place his hand the way it let him push your hips down. you whimpered at the loss of contact, sound soft but sinful in his ear, but kept your hips where he put them, earning a ‘good girl', that he groaned through clenched teeth as he finally freed himself and wrapped his fingers around his cock, pumping a few times.

you jerked when you felt yeonjun's fingers move a damp fabric to the side, uncovering your pussy—you almost mewled at the cool air hitting the wet skin, but he was quick to cup your center, pushing a finger inside immediately and adding a second one just a few seconds later, making you whimper. the embarrassing squelching sounds were loud in the night air, and his quiet chuckle next to your ear only worsened the embarrassment, arousing you even more and making you clench around his fingers—you enjoyed the effect he had on you too much.

every drag of yeonjun's fingers was delicious on your sensitive walls, each joint and bone and his fingertips dragged over all the needed spots, making you bite into your lip and try to move your hips too—his fingering skills were just as god-like as any skill he carried, and you would be glad to have his fingers inside of you much more often, especially if he was going to be like that from now—rough and impatient, which only made his touches and groans even rougher.

yeonjun wasn't even sure there was a point in stretching you out, given how wet you were for him already, but he was—he clenched his teeth—a fucking gentleman, never wanting to hurt you in any way—except so many ways that made his cock twitch at the thought of each one. he grinded his hips against the back of your thighs subconsciously, trying to ease the uncomfortable feeling at least a bit, as he gripped the bed sheets over your head in his fist, and it was like he reminded you what exactly you wanted to have inside.

“jjun, please—” you choked out, holding him tighter and mewling into his neck. “need your dick s’much,” you whimpered, trying to find his cock with your hips. you loved his fingers, but, gosh, how much you loved his dick. he was almost cruel with how unfair he was about not letting you suck him off often enough. the thought made you almost sniffle. “please, jjun-ie—”

yeonjun’s eyes rolled back, as he clenched his teeth harder—his sweet, shy, vanilla girl was getting so shameless in her need for him to fuck her. gosh, he thought. he had already gotten you begging for his dick, but if he’d be able to make you go dumb for it—just the mere thought sent shivers down his spine—soulmates of you both could go fuck each other. maybe they’d be lucky enough to be as perfect for each other as the two of you were, but he didn’t give a fuck actually. he didn’t give a shit about anything, if he was honest, as he aligned himself and slowly pushed inside with a groan—he knew it was what heaven felt like.

you arched your back, digging nails into your palms, as you tried to pull yeonjun closer to you—the slight stretch was maddening, as it burned just a bit, giving you the smallest pain that you had desired for so long. he cursed into your neck, his forearm finding its place between your back and the bed for a better hold of you, pushing your t-shirt up a bit to feel your skin on his. he dug his nails into his palm too, despite almost dying to leave marks on your skin—you, already a bit less stretched out than usual, were clenching on him like a vice. you were a menace to his sanity—he knew you could do it on purpose.

your brain fogged when yeonjun started moving—he wasn’t going exactly hard, but his thrusts were sharp, each one pushing more and more thoughts out of your head, leaving you a whimpering mess underneath him, pressed into his body. a sight to behold for him—he hoped to never forget how you felt, sounded and looked at the moment, your brain completely empty for anything except his name and ‘please’. you were shaped for him—he was completely sure—no one ever felt that good, not even close, never to the point where he just never wanted to pull out.

it was the same for you—yeonjun always overwhelmed each one of your senses, and now he was the only thing that mattered or even existed, as if you were made for each other—he knew how to bring you to absolute madness and submission, and he didn’t even have to do anything, just existing was more than enough. each drag of his cock against your walls, was pulling you further and further away from sanity and thinking, his name being the only thing on your mind, bright as a neon sign amidst fog. his pants and groans against your neck were sending shivers down your spine, as well as the way he pressed you into himself so strongly, nearly hurting. you almost wished he did it just a bit harder, sinking his fingers and teeth into you.

yeonjun knew you were getting closer—your legs tightened yet still trembled around him, your whimpers became a bit more high-pitched, and every ‘please’ sounded more like a quiet sob, making his cock twitch at each one—was he having a thing for crying now?—and you were clenching around him so hard, he could barely move some moments. he wanted to sit up so he had a free hand to stroke your clit, but you tightened your arms around his shoulders, sobbing out a quiet ‘please, don’t’ so desperately, as if you thought he was going to leave at all. he cursed, his heart melting despite the heated moment.

yeonjun still managed to find a way to push his hand between your bodies without moving away from you, and you threw your head back at a mere touch to your clit, clenching around him so insanely strong at the precise tight circles on it, that he gave up on thrusting at all—he didn’t care for cumming himself. his name sounded like a broken prayer on your lips, repeated again and again as you were squeezing him, your body trembling. he wanted to tattoo the image on the back of his eyelids—you looked like such a beautiful mess, the neck he wanted to bite into so badly out in the open, almost begging him to do it, but he clenched his teeth—no, he couldn't.

you bit into your lip so hard, you were too close to draw blood, but you craved it in that moment, as if a tiny glimpse of pain was the only thing that was lacking amidst the waves of shudders going through your body as you came. it felt like you were floating, your body and mind completely consumed by yeonjun, and you couldn’t wish for anything better. he was leading you through your orgasm until your body relaxed—you could barely feel your limbs, let alone hold as tight as you were holding before, heart thumping in your chest as you tried to catch your breath and understand where you were, everything around feeling like it was behind a thick wall of water.

yeonjun was still hard as rock inside of you—he knew he wouldn’t be able to cum, his head too busy holding back and trying to control himself, so he just held you letting you come down from your high, heavy breaths of you both mingling together as you both tried to calm your hearts down—you from the hardest orgasm you had ever had, and him from the hardest inability to cum he had ever experienced.

but you noticed it—of course, you did, you loved it when yeonjun came inside, making you so full of his seed, that you were sure he could make you drip with it for days sometimes. it always made you feel so full, so his. so when he tried to move away, you put your last strength into your still jelly arms, trying to hold him with a quiet whimper. “jjun, need your cum, please,” you whimpered into his neck between tiny kisses, trying to tighten your legs around his waist too. “please, want to be full.”

you were a menace, yeonjun thought. a little devil sent to break his control and composure, disguised as the sweetest angel heavens could only dream of. he was almost convinced you knew how your whimpery begging affected him and used it against him, but you were too fucked out to think properly and try to manipulate—it was you. he knew you simply wanted the same thing he wanted—you always did, his softest angel pushed into that state of neediness and submission by his own hands.

and yeonjun couldn't say no—fuck, he needed to cum more than anything, and filling you up in the process just like you both craved, was just a bonus. he started moving again, his thrusts sharper and much less controlled now as he tried to chase his own high, letting your sweet sounds consume him. he pulled you closer by you lower back again, harder that time, wanting to be as close as possible when he finally was on the verge of cumming.

yeonjun was too far gone to notice the way he dug his fingertips into the skin of your waist, nails leaving tiny crescent moon marks and making your skin sparkle with tiny tingles, sending shivers all over your body. he did the last hard thrust, trying to get as deep as possible, stilling as he finally came, thick ropes of cum filling you one after another, as he moaned your name right into your ear. the sounds he made, the feel of his cum, mixed with the way his fingers gripped your waist in such a delicious way, brought you so close to the edge, you could barely form words in your head, but you never foresaw him sinking his teeth into your shoulder, trying to muffle his groans. the unexpected, but so desired feeling of his teeth on your skin pushing you over the edge again and making you almost black out for a second.

when yeonjun’s mind cleared he was already peppering kisses all over your neck and jaw, whispering praises in between—it happened unconsciously, even before he could register that he bit you, so he didn't realize it; not at that moment at least. the tickling feeling of his gentle kisses and breathing made you giggle tiredly, as you opened your eyes and looked at him, enjoying the weight of his body on top of yours—you wanted to move the bangs away from his wet forehead, but you were still so weak, that your hand gave out when you just tried to lift it, and yeonjun caught it with a soft giggle, pressing his lips to your palm.

“we should sleep, baby,” he whispered, preparing to roll off you—he already tortured your poor, tired body with his weight for longer than he had any right to. “we don’t have to get up early tomorrow.”

“mm, we don’t?” you asked quietly, not letting yeonjun move away from you, and he smiled into the skin of your neck and replied with a ‘mhm’ sending the softest vibrations into it. “stay inside?” you asked it so innocently, that he wasn’t sure he heard you right—did you mean ‘let’s stay home tomorrow’?.., but you continued. “then we can start the morning the best way. you can… wake me up that way if you want?”

yeonjun felt his dick almost twitch at your idea and the way you said it. he wondered what he had done to his angel that night—he needed to know it so he could continue doing it to you to hear more needy filth leave your mouth in such a sweet innocent manner. he teased you about being so needy despite just cumming two times, but of course gave in, positioning you the way you’d be able to sleep without him leaving your body—cockwarming sounded nice for him too. he wondered how many kinks of his you had too—maybe he didn’t have to be so scared of opening some of them up to you?

the next morning—that, no doubts, started ‘the best way’ and brought you to the bathroom together to shower ‘the best way’ too—yeonjun noticed the mark his teeth left on your shoulder. he felt his heart sink as he whispered apologies into the bruised skin, but you said he didn’t have to apologize for anything. you were too embarrassed to say you loved it, so you just said it was ‘okay’. but he had hard times believing even ‘okay’, until he started noticing more and more often the way you caressed your shoulder, even through clothes, exactly where the mark was, with one of the softest smiles he had ever seen on you.

it was the first time yeonjun thought about something not being right in the way how right everything felt. at first, he tried to push these thoughts away, convincing himself that he was just overthinking and scared—he had been betrayed by someone ‘perfect’ already, so it was predictable. but no matter how much he tried, he knew it wasn’t about you. or him, for that matter—it was about everything. he knew you’d never pretend to be someone you weren’t, everything that was changing in you because of him, to suit him, was changing naturally, without you doing anything for it—it seemed like you already had all of it in yourself.

clicking immediately and talking like you had known each other for a few lives already wasn’t weird, if you were alike. and being alike—or being opposite—wasn’t weird either, but it was about the amount and things that were the same or completely different. sometimes yeonjun thought you were basically twins—sleep schedules, views on the future and personal space, values, humour, expectations from relationship, approaches to conflicts, expressing love, everything that truly mattered in a long and committed relationship, were the same for you two. and sometimes you were different like fire and ice, but exactly where it was either required—like power dynamics—or didn’t matter much.

and yeonjun thought that sex life wasn’t that—you weren’t completely the same when it came to kinks or completely opposite when it was about giving-receiving, you were just… different, and your similar sex drive was just a coincidence. but that night planted the seed of doubt into his mind—was it possible that you were holding back your true wants too, just like he was? the tiny glimpses into the way you, maybe, were, only showed him that he could be too wrong about it, and that—maybe—your sex life obeyed the ‘rules’ too. he was quick to brush it off, though, after careful thinking—if you were more submissive than he expected, it was natural for you to fall into his view on things. it started with the corruption kink after all.

what was harder to ignore was the way you fit perfectly with his flaws—the way your own ‘flaws’ aligned with his. yeonjun knew he was far from perfect. he had his… moments. moments of being possessive when he had no obvious right to be, requiring obedience in the smallest of things when he was in a truly bad mood (and just enjoying it in any mood), acting full of himself and wanting to be worshipped and admired. he always thought it was too much and had been hiding it from you for months, especially his possessive tendencies—it wasn’t hard as he wasn’t exactly jealous. he just liked knowing and seeing that you were his. it was harder when it was about his need to be obeyed and worshipped.

but all were natural for you—yeonjun realized it much later than you started acting on it. you had no problems with wearing his t-shirts or cardigans to work, and nonchalantly telling your prying colleagues the truth about the obviously men's clothes on you that still smelled like men's perfume—“it’s of my man”. you proudly wore anything he gifted you, and when you found the custom-made velvet choker with embroidered tiny pink roses along a thorny stem on the outside, and his name in the same pink threads on the inside—he got it for you but was too embarrassed to give because of his name there—you were ecstatic, saying ‘for the better!’ and asking him to put it on you when he hesitantly pointed at his name inside. you wore the choker daily, taking it off only when he could replace his name on your neck with his lips.

you were obedient too—especially when he was in a bad mood; you once told him it wasn't because you were scared of him or anything, you just wanted to make things more comfortable for him and lighten his mood at least by it, and actually—you added much quieter—it felt natural, and he told you to do what felt natural when you only started. you never belittled him even teasingly, never trash talked him after occasional winning in video games—you preferred to do the opposite and be constantly in awe of something he had done, which he knew was sincere despite an annoying voice in his head that sometimes tried to convince him otherwise. you were just open about your feelings to him, never giving him any doubts about the way you felt.

it wasn’t one-sided, of course—he was ready to drown you in signs of all five love languages just to show you how much he loved you—adding extra on the ones you preferred the most; you could get a bit possessive from time to time too, and yeonjun had no problems with it, wearing a tiny mouse charm and the first letter of your name on the bracelet he never took off—but to him it seemed almost insignificant compared to how many subtle or not-so-subtle signs of belonging to him you had all over yourself.

at some point the thoughts of covering the mark of the bond on your chest with marks of his love became too loud in yeonjun’s mind, so it spilled out almost against his own will in a form of asking you what you thought about marking. by the time it happened, your sex wasn’t vanilla anymore—it had a noticeable power dynamic, and he introduced more and more messy kinks into the sex life of you both—creampie, cumplay, spitplay, snowballing, sucking on fingers—each one, met with interest and excitement, making him think more often about how suspiciously compatible you were. he still was hiding the most of his kinks based on causing pain, though, but marking had a different origin for him—possession.

you were taken aback by the question and specified if he meant the process or the result—you felt like you were fine with both, but wasn’t sure about wearing it in the open, so the result might not be what he expected. yeonjun didn’t care, though—the area he wanted to mark was always hidden by your clothes anyway, so he didn’t waste a second when you said yes to his question about marking your chest right there, on the couch of his living room. he tugged your t-shirt off and lied on top of you, his lips under your left collarbone, leaving the first mark right on the top of the stem, making it look like a rose crossing your chest. yeonjun still had a polaroid picture of that in his wallet under the pressed rose, turned away so no one could see it.

when you said you were ‘fine’ with both process and result, you had no idea you’d never be able to choose which one you loved more—the way yeonjun was gently biting, sucking, licking and kissing you skin so thoroughly, making shivers run down your spine as you were particularly dripping by the time he barely finished with the first one third of the stem, or the way each one of these marks basically claimed you to be his and even thinking of wearing so many signs of belonging was making your head spin.

and then yeonjun bit you—harder than he was going to, he could swear it was an accident. but your eyes rolled into your head as you arched your back and moaned a soft broken ‘oh fuck’ right before biting into your hand the second he was going to start apologizing. his brain short-circuited—it didn't sound like a moan of pain at all. were you…

yeonjun's heart started beating faster as he quickly moved his kisses up your chest to the sensitive spot on your neck, giving it a tiny lick before pressing his teeth to your skin. every inch of his body was tense, trying not to miss any slightest change in your reaction as he started slowly tightening the bite—he felt like even his breathing became quieter and rarer so he could hear if your breathing changed at least a bit. your soft whimpers were getting more desperate with each second, as you tightened the hold on his arm, and he did his best not to let it affect him.

just when yeonjun was at his limit, knowing he just couldn't bite harder, because it’d cross the line of his soft sadism and wouldn't be enjoyable for him anymore, you choked out a ‘not harder’, making his heart thump. here was your limit, he found it—exactly where his own one was. he still asked you if it was too painful already, but you shook your head and said it was on the verge of it, but the peak of pleasure was even earlier—he didn't tell you that, but he assumed where it was, and it wasn't only about how he heard you reacting to it.

it was no surprise the discovery of your soft masochistic tendencies affected your sex life, and in addition to goofy quickies and passionate love making, the two of you started having rough, kinky sex anyone could only dream of. and at some moments, yeonjun was glad he only had one mouth and two hands—sometimes even one hand, as he preferred to be on top—and he couldn't do everything he wanted to do to you at the same time, because he wasn't sure at least one of you would leave the bed sane if it was possible. but no, it wasn't possible, and he had to choose.

it was easy when it came to scratching, slapping, gripping, pinching and biting your skin anywhere yeonjun knew you’d enjoy it—he could find each one of your sweet spots with his eyes closed now, knowing your body like the back of his hand as if he was the one who placed each one on your body—these five were fast. well, most of the time, as sometimes you had full-on marking or spanking sessions, but they were rare compared to how often he did all of these almost automatically, without thinking about it. but it was much harder when it was coming to the rest.

yeonjun loved pulling your hair—he loved the way it made you arch your back, no matter the position you were in, be it on your knees as he pounded your face into the sheets, your legs trembling at the way his fingers tangled into your hair to pull you up and press your back against his chest, hand moving to your neck to tighten his hold on it while he was whispering how well you were taking his cock, as if you were born just for that and nothing else; or in missionary when he thought you weren’t close enough to him and he couldn’t bring you closer with the other arm, as it was a bit too busy with leaving scratches on the back of your thigh, so he pulled your hair just to feel your chest against his.

yeonjun absolutely loved pulling your hair to lift your face when you were on your knees before him or when he towered over you in any position—he loved the look you gave him, eyes full of admiration and worship, but the way your mouth was opening almost on its own was absolutely maddening. he didn’t even have to tell you to push your tongue out—it was like you knew he wanted you to, as he gathered his saliva in his mouth before letting it slowly drip from his tongue to yours. and if your mouth was full of his cum at that moment… he was getting hard again, no doubts.

the hair pulling also matched well with spanking sessions—it made you stick your butt out so adorably, when you were laying across his lap, your chest and knees on the bed, skin of your butt red, as he caressed it, feeling your wetness coating the skin of his thigh already. but yeonjun found it the cutest when you were drooling while he was slapping the gentle sensitive skin of your ass and thighs, so he preferred stuffing your mouth with his fingers to make you drool even more as you tried to suck on them instinctively, your saliva flowing down his fingers waiting for him to lick it off later and make a show for you out of it.

yeonjun enjoyed to push his fingers between your lips in missionary too, when he was able to see the way the rest of his fingers dug into your cheeks and, more importantly, to see the way you rolled your eyes in pure bliss, obediently wrapping your lips around his digits, your tongue caressing them in the most angelic way possible. he always had too little patience at these moments, wanting to have his tongue in your mouth instead of fingers, so he withdrew his fingers, earning a beautiful pathetic whine from you before shutting you up with his lips, as his fingers wrapped around your neck.

his fingers found your neck in missionary more often than not, when yeonjun wasn’t making love to you, usually slick with your saliva or arousal, but some nights—the most restless ones—with a mix of the cum of the two of you—with what was left after you both licked and sucked it out of his fingers. but choking was the best when he fucked you from behind, hovering over you lying flat on your stomach and holding you by your neck so you had no opportunity to miss each one of his dirty whispers of what else he was going to do you that night, tomorrow night and every night further. everything before he couldn’t take it anymore and tilted your head by your jaw, finally pressing his lips against yours in a messy kiss, catching every sweet sound you were making.

at some point yeonjun realized he tried to press his lips to yours every opportunity. it was far from gentle whenever you chose to be kinky, but it barely was about ‘kinky’ at all, often becoming a bit softer and slower a few seconds in—if he wasn’t in a too hard mood, of course. it felt intimate, something he never gave anyone for years—a strict ‘no kisses’ rule for friends with benefits and one-night stands. his lips were only for you and no one else—the thought making him so sentimental once or twice, that your kinky session full of degrading praises, dumbification and sweet pain he caused you, turned into a love making.

yeonjun was soft, actually. it wasn’t even about the fact that you still could feel his love in the kinkiest moments through the softest whispers of praises or questions of your well-being and unexpectedly gentle touches between the rough ones; not about the way he regularly made love to you, reminding you of how much you meant to him while he was driving you insane with slow drags of his cock against your sensitive walls, when nothing except him mattered. it was about the way he held you the moment both of you were done, endless praises leaving his lips as his hold on you was tight and firm, reminding you that you were safe in his arms.

and you… you loved whatever yeonjun wanted to give you in any moment. it felt like he was reading your mind, and the moment you opened your mouth to ask him for something, he immediately did it. it happened so often that you started thinking that when you had to beg for something, it was because he wanted you to beg, not because he didn’t know you wanted something. but begging was hot and you were eager to please, so it wasn’t a big deal.

of course you both had your favourites in general when it came to, well, hurting you or craved something specific on some days—and it was completely unsurprising that they were the same for the both of you—but yeonjun had the softest spot in his heart for leaving love bites along the soulmate mark on your chest—it felt like covering it completely was making you his. the amount of attention he was paying to the mark you used to hate for what felt like your whole life, made you realize how much you'd changed.

being with yeonjun seemed to make you forget about almost all of your worries—whenever your head wasn't busy with the task in hand, it was occupied by him, making you smile like a dummy at the mere thought of seeing him soon. it felt like endlessly falling in love with him after months of dating, and knowing that, at the same time, your love managed to be a grown-up, serious one—a love you shared with the person you chose to love and loved not only with your heart but also brain—only made it much better. you took the best part of blue and mixed it into your pink love.

you hadn't thought about your soulmate or the bond for a few months already, and when the realization suddenly hit you, you only smiled, shaking your head—you didn't care anymore. your happiness was right there, and you hoped your soulmate would find theirs too. just with someone else, not with you—you doubted even your own soulmate could make you happier and complete you better than yeonjun, no matter what they said about soulmates and their connection outside the flower-type bond. he already was all of that for you and more.

you felt safe with yeonjun, always protected, and you knew it was foolish—at least the first few months—but you just couldn’t get rid of these feelings, and even when you were cautious, they were still present. it was easy to talk to him, easy to open your heart and mind. you knew he’d never judge you or call you an idiot for your own mistakes. instead, he simply helped you deal with them if you needed it, because he knew you could draw conclusions yourself—without his nagging. it felt like you had known each other for a few lives before meeting in the current one, with how naturally everything started.

silence was comfortable with him too—sometimes yeonjun was tired from talking to so many people, which was required by his work, and he just didn’t want to talk, but still needed to recharge, so you could sit silently in the same room or shoulder to shoulder, doing your own stuff comfortably. he easily did the same for you, back-hugging you and watching you play on your phone or switch, when you needed to recharge—he was your personal charger, not letting you go until you felt fine. and it was natural for you both to know when the other one needed it, slipping into charger mode immediately.

yeonjun… synchronized well with you and your emotions, just as you did with his—you both were empathic and knew each other really well. he knew when you faked your smile while meeting someone from your past or someone you simply disliked when you were out together, and you knew when he was trying to keep his anger inside over some minor inconvenience on a bad day, even when his face remained completely calm. and you both knew what the other one needed at those moments, whether it was a tiny kiss or a hand squeeze.

his touches always felt so, so right, from the first day. yeonjun knew where and how you preferred to be touched, and what areas you’d rather stay untouched. he always—always—made sure it was okay before touching you in a new way for the first time, and he always made sure you knew you could ask him to stop or even make him stop with your own hands. you never did, though—his touches were comforting and grounding, making everything so much better.

you were in synch on the kitchen, never colliding or hitting each other with cupboard doors and drawers; in the bathroom when you both needed to get ready at the same time; in the crowded elevator when yeonjun cornered you to shield you from strangers—just in case—his giggles warm against your ear. it felt like you were always waltzing, no step wrong or out of place, and even if it happened, the other one adjusted naturally to match or catch.

it was like that with everything—you barely had any fights because there were almost no problems, and if something did happen, you were quick to deal with it by talking it out before it escalated into anything more. but of course, there couldn’t be no fights at all. it was too good to be true, and you should’ve expected for it to happen one day.

the month was tiring for yeonjun—the k-pop agency he was working with had comebacks stacked one after another and wanted him to work on more of their groups, so he had to manage three at roughly the same time, which was three times more than he was used to. it wouldn’t have been too difficult if he was only handling choreographies for well-established artists who had a team of trainers working with them regularly, but audition season for another agency was starting in a month, and out of habit, he had opened a few training slots for it—already too tired to think before doing it.

yeonjun tried to find a way to keep it from affecting your relationship, especially now that it finally felt like you were fully opened up to each other, but it was almost impossible. he felt like shit for neglecting you—you were going home alone more and more often each week, as soobin was rushing to his not-just-friend-anymore the moment the workday was over, and yeonjun often couldn’t find even five minutes in his tight schedule. at least the sun was setting late already, so you didn’t have to go in the dark. you barely had any dates now, too—he was always too tired, and even the ones at home ended with him falling asleep most of the time.

you were an angel, though, more patient than he ever deserved in his honest opinion. you were waking him up with the tiniest kisses all over his face whenever he fell asleep on the couch, just so he’d go to bed and not be even more sore in the morning; you were bringing him lunch, wasting your own lunchtime on it, when he had no time to go and buy himself something or forgot to order—you always said it was completely fine because you could eat while working; some days, you woke up at five a.m. just to kiss him goodbye, wish him a good day, and remind him that you loved him more than anything.

it wasn’t easy already, but that week was straightforward hell for yeonjun—it felt like everyone needed him at the same time, and each one thought their need was the most important one, the lack of sleep and food was taking a toll on him, and every time you were nothing but patient and loving to him, he was ready to pull his hair out in anger and frustration, because he couldn’t understand how in the world you didn’t hate him yet. it was bound to end in a fight, and he started avoiding you just to keep from snapping—and not like it was too difficult with his schedule.

you noticed it, of course—how could you not? you still tried your best to be understanding, but it was starting to feel forced. you couldn’t keep trying to comfort someone who kept subtly refusing it, especially when you needed comfort yourself. you were going to bed alone, waking up alone—it felt like you were living with a ghost, and at least the ghost was leaving signs of his presence in the form of dirty dishes in the dishwasher and sweaty training clothes in the washing machine. you weren’t even sure when was the last time you looked at yeonjun properly, let alone touched or kissed him. he still held you in his sleep, but it didn’t count.

it didn’t help that your body started getting sore out of nowhere, your muscles nagging and tugging each morning. it wasn’t unusual to feel physically weakened due to emotional exhaustion—not to mention you weren’t sleeping or eating well either, worrying your heart out for yeonjun—but it was just annoying, as if your body couldn’t just cooperate for a bit until that period passed. it kept piling up, and on a particularly bad day when nothing seemed to go right, you ran out of patience—it was a friday night, and you needed your boyfriend. needed to at least know he was fine.

it was already dark when a young boy left the practice room yeonjun was working in, seeing you outside and bowing. you knocked on the door and entered without waiting for the response. relief washed over you at finally seeing him—it felt like both physical and mental exhaustion were starting to leave your body, the walls you had built around your emotions beginning to crack. you wanted nothing more than to run into his arms and finally relax in their safety. at least until you saw the way he didn’t even try to pretend he was happy to see you.

“what are you doing here?” yeonjun asked, his voice harsher than he expected—it wasn’t just exhaustion; he was starving, his head was pounding, and seeing you, the one person he could allow himself to be weak with—the one he had been mistreating so badly—only made things worse. he just had to push through this last class of the day, and he could go home, but now, with you standing in front of him, he wasn’t sure if he would break down or explode, and neither was welcome.

you were taken aback—that was what he had to say after barely seeing you for a week? “wanted to check on my boyfriend,” you snapped—the soreness was creeping back, and you felt a dull pain starting to form in the back of your head. “have you seen him maybe?”

yeonjun rubbed his temples—he was so not in the mood to fight, it was probably one of the worst moments of the month for it. “listen, if you want to fight—”

‘to fight’?! what the hell was he thinking of you? “no, yeonjun. i don’t want to fight. i want you to rest properly and stop overworking yourself,” you barely noticed how your voice was starting to rise.

“it’s my job, can you understand?” he threw the small towel he had been wiping his sweat off with to the side in frustration—he had five minutes left until the next class, and now he had to waste them fighting with you, when you weren’t even supposed to be here.

“i’m your girlfriend, can you understand?!” you couldn't remember the last time you had been so frustrated. “can you, please, try not to forget there's your girlfriend waiting for you at home, worrying about you every night,” the words were full of venom, but you just couldn't stop.

oh, yeonjun never forgot—you waited, worried, cared, wanted to make everything easy for him instead of just doing the only thing he truly deserved after neglecting and mistreating you—leaving him. he was so frustrated that the next words left his lips before he could think twice. “maybe she should've waited at home then instead of coming here because she can't live without my attention?”

your eyes tingled, as you felt your heart sink, a dull pain spilling over inside your chest. you knew yeonjun didn't mean it, but that didn't to stop the lump from forming in your throat. because it wasn't even about him—it was about you. you were that girl again, the one who realized her soulmate was having sex with someone else, invisible lines on her back burning almost as painfully as her eyes as she tried to not to cry in the middle of class. the pain was almost the same, and it felt like all those years of growing up, maturing, trying to accept the betrayal, and finally moving on had never happened. you were her once again—completely alone in the world, betrayed by the person who was supposed to be the closest to her heart.

yeonjun felt it too—the tugging pain spreading from the middle of his chest to his throat, making him want to throw up in the desperate hope that it'd rid him of the feeling. he was there again, he was him again—it was the same time, soon to be night, but the other side of the world, and one moment he was the happiest person in the universe, and the next—he felt that pain. he remembered what came next—it was engraved in his brain no matter how much he tried to forget. realization. the most painful realization of his life. it was different that time, though—he wasn't the one who was in pain, he was the one who was the reason for it.

but no, the realization followed this time too—yeonjun felt like he was punched in the chest. he was the reason his soulmate had felt that way all those years ago. they could feel the deep drag of her nails down his back, and it was the clearest sign he had betrayed their bond. just like he had betrayed your trust and feelings now, your bond. he wasn't that poor boy anymore—he was worse. the boy had been deceived, he hadn’t meant to hurt his soulmate, but yeonjun had no excuse for his words.

you took a deep breath—you couldn't be that girl now, you had to protect her despite your own pain—and looked at yeonjun. “maybe she should have. maybe even at her own home” you said quietly, turning around to leave the practice room, placing a hand over your heart involuntarily, hoping it'd ease the uncomfortable tugging feeling.

yeonjun could barely register the pain in his chest, lost in thought—was that what he was? back then and now to?. all these years had meant nothing because he had stayed the same—someone who didn't deserve to be happy. your words reached him, though—almost too late, but they still did. “don't leave alone, it's dark,” he said, his voice void of emotion. “i’ll tell the trainee i’ll be late and walk you home. wait for me on the ground floor.”

you didn't say anything, just nodded—despite knowing yeonjun didn't see it as he turned around to grab his jacket. you didn't wait for him here either—not wanting to endure the uncomfortable awkward elevator ride, and, after all, he had told you to wait on the ground floor, not here. but of course, it didn't help anyway, because you still had to walk home together, and it was the worst walk home you'd ever experienced—you didn't hold hands like you usually did, didn't talk, didn't even say goodbye properly when he brought you to your floor and didn't even step out of the elevator, simply pressing the ground floor button.

when yeonjun returned home, he found you sleeping on the couch and it was obvious that you hadn’t just dozed off while waiting for him—you were wrapped in your blanket, the fox plushie held tight against your chest—you had brought your belongings here, because you didn't want to share a bed with him tonight. the choking pain in his chest rose, but… he finally got what he deserved after this month and especially this week. there was still a small spark of hope he wanted to ignore, though—you had chosen to sleep on his couch, leaving him the bed that was far more comfortable, instead of sleeping in an even more comfortable bed at your place that was just two steps away.

it was a bad night for both of you—it was cold, uncomfortable, and lonely for you two who hadn’t slept alone since you started dating. you wanted to apologize early in the morning—for coming to his work and making him stay there longer because he had wasted time walking you home and had to start an already late class later, for starting that fight in general, and for being petty by making a scene of sleeping on the couch, and, of course, you wanted thank him for carrying you to the bed. but by the time you woke up at five a.m., he was already gone, and you thought that maybe it was too late to apologize now.

yeonjun wanted to wake you up with breakfast in bed, a huge bouquet, and an even bigger apology, along with a serious conversation about that month—the way it went for both of you, how he could make it better, and how to avoid repeating it in the future. but four hours of bad sleep, full of draining dreams on the verge of nightmares, left him even more exhausted than before he had gone to bed. being jolted awake by a call from the agency, saying he was needed there in half an hour, only made things worse. that tiny spark of hope he still had before falling asleep was extinguished under a cold, bone-deep exhaustion, and he came to the conclusion that you deserved much better than him.

the gap between you two seemed insurmountable—neither of you had even noticed it growing over the past month, and now you didn’t know how to make it smaller, or if that even was possible. these thoughts, along with the persistent ache in your chest, made you careless—you kept stumbling over completely flat surfaces, managed to knock a pack of ramyeon down on the floor, and at least had been quick enough to jump back before the hot water could spill on you. little, frustrating things kept happening—your bag strap getting caught on the door handle, your sleeve snagging on a cabinet—and it was such a terrible time for all of it...

yeonjun, however, barely had time to think about anything. the first half of his day was pure chaos—there were always at least two dozen people around him, loud and hectic, pulling him from one place to another, his brain constantly on overdrive. but when it was finally time for personal classes, which were much quieter and calmer, the thoughts of how badly he had ruined everything returned. the last time he had been in a state like this, he had overworked his mind and body until he could neither stand nor think, but this time, he already barely had any strength for either. still, he opted for stretching—it was necessary anyway and the tugging pain in his ligaments might at least distract him from the one in his chest.

yeonjun was almost done with the stretching when he suddenly felt something prick his finger. he hissed, instinctively looking down at his hand and the floor beneath it—but everything seemed fine. the floor was completely clean, and there was nothing visible on his skin either. he brushed it off—maybe there had been some crumb or something, and he pushed it away when lifting his hand. but throughout the entire class, he kept feeling the same thing here and there on his hands, even when the only thing around them was air. the pain in his chest was soon replaced by a much nauseating feeling in his gut—deep down, he knew what it was, even though he had long forgotten how it felt, but he didn’t want to admit it, didn’t want it to be true. it was just a coincidence, his body was playing tricks on him, he was imagining things—anything except that one.

but it was impossible to deny, when yeonjun felt as if his whole hand had been pushed into a thorny bush while he was simply making himself coffee—his replacement for lunch between classes. he felt nauseous, staring at his hand, his head spinning—it was like a few lifetimes had passed since he had last experienced this, and now all the memories came crashing down on him like a wave. scraped hands and knees, pulled hair, paper cuts, bee stings, cold burns, sewing prickles, sprained ankles, growing pains, headaches, ear piercings, blisters and sore feet, tongue burns and bites, minor cuts, period cramps—he had never seen them, but it felt as if he’d been by their side for their whole lives, experiencing every significant stage of their growth along with them.

the thoughts made yeonjun want to throw up, as he slowly lowered himself onto the floor, back against the mirror. he had betrayed you yesterday, he was betraying you now with these feelings and thoughts, and more than anything, he was terrified that he would betray you in the future. he ran his fingers through his hair and hid his face in his palms—he didn’t know what to do. he knew what he wanted—to break the bond completely, to never meet his soulmate, to live a happy life with someone he had chosen and would choose again and again in every lifetime—you. but the first part was impossible, and he knew he had to get a grip on himself and hold onto it for the rest of his life. but he was ready to do it—for you.

yeonjun took a deep, shaky breath—the class was starting soon, and it was time for him to pull himself together. there were people waiting for him, expecting their choreographer to guide them, not to crumble under the weight of something they had nothing to do with. and he couldn’t let them down—he had been letting down too many things recently, and if he let you down too… the only thing he’d have left was his job. so he pushed himself up from the floor, took another deep breath, and tried to drown himself in his work.

it was almost impossible to notice that something was wrong when yeonjun was in his element, giving himself completely to the music and movement. but each little break, when the music wasn't filling his mind, made him feel worse, as if overthinking and the tiny invisible cuts in his hands were gathering strength whenever his head was busy—only to hit him harder the moment his mind emptied. for the first time, he counted down the hours until the day was over with dread—he was scared to come home and not see you there. you, and any traces of you, because you had finally realized you deserved better.

but yeonjun had no choice—if you chose to leave, he had to accept it, no matter how much it hurt, no matter how painful it would be to see you every day as nothing more than a neighbour. he simply wanted you to be happy, with him or without him. and his soulmate… he hoped the bond would shut down again—which wouldn't take long if you decided to leave. he knew his heartbreak would be too strong for him to cope with it in a healthy way, and the bond would try to protect them from him.

the first thing yeonjun saw when he opened the front door was the light from the kitchen. he swallowed thickly—it still wasn’t too dark, so maybe you had just forgotten to turn it off when leaving…? but the next second, he heard a quiet sniffle coming from inside, followed by a dull thud—something falling or, more likely, being thrown—and his heart felt the lightest in a whole day, you were here. then, a second realization hit him—you were crying. and you had thrown something. you needed to be held. he quickly took off his shoes, tossed his bag and jacket somewhere, and rushed to you.

you were sitting on the bar stool, your lower lip caught between your teeth as you tried to wipe away angry tears that just refused to stop. you didn’t even notice yeonjun until you felt his strong arms wrapping around you and pulling you into his hold. the moment he did, the tension in you melted away, the safety of his embrace making it easier to be weak. with a quiet hiss, you wrapped your arms around his waist, and your angry tears shifted—becoming ones of exhaustion and relief at the same time. you needed him more than anything.

yeonjun couldn’t believe how close he had been to throwing everything away because of some stupid soulmate bond, close to ruining it all with his own hands, choosing to overwork himself and make you worry, leaving you completely alone and calling you an attention seeker when you confronted him about it. and yet, you still took him back, still clung to him like you needed his comfort even though he was the reason you needed it in the first place. his fingers combed gently through the hair on the back of your head as he held you, letting you cry into his shoulder. his darling, his poor baby, his sweet angel, his little mouse. the only person he'd ever need.

your sobs started getting quieter, and yeonjun relaxed a bit, growing curious about what you had thrown when he came home. he glanced around, but his gaze fell on the first aid kit and bunch of plasters scattered around the table—both barely used and still unopened. were you hurt?.. he leaned back slightly and cupped your face, looking for any signs of pain, but there were none—except for your puffy red eyes and still slightly quivering lips. “baby, what happened? are you hurt?”

you sniffled and looked down, slowly withdrawing your arms from around his waist before showing him your palms. “not exactly… that bouquet making class was…” you sniffled again, biting your lip as he cupped your hands from below. “i was careless and i… maybe i should've asked for tulips, but… but these roses were so cute and tiny and pink, and i…” the more you spoke, the more sorry you felt for yourself—and the more stupid you felt for everything that had happened. “and i got them by raffle… and i thought, maybe it was destiny—”

yeonjun couldn't hear anything—his heart thumping in his ears, drowning out your words. it felt like the whole world had stopped and disappeared completely, leaving nothing but him, you sitting on that bar stool, and your hands cupped in his. and slowly, the world was closing in even more, until only one thing remained—the reason why so many plasters were discarded barely used. it wasn't easy to put them on your own hands, especially with so many tiny cuts scattered across your skin. the same cuts he had known about hours ago already, but had never realized whose hands they belonged to.

every little thing made sense now. every tiny detail had fallen into its place, completing the picture that had barely made sense before. of course, it had been easy to talk to you from the very beginning. of course, it had been easy to open up to you—so much easier than when he forced himself to open up to others. trusting you came naturally. your smile made every burden lighter, and your touch made his problems feel small and insignificant. of course, everything with you felt right—he had sometimes questioned whether the way he was living was right, filling his mind with ‘what if’s and ‘maybe’s, but he never, not even for a second, doubted that his place was next to you. holding you. being held back.

that's why you were so perfect in every sense—you were made to be perfect for him, there wasn't anyone else in the world who would fit him better than you, no one else could bring him more peace and happiness, because no one else could. and—yeonjun’s heart skipped a beat—he was the same for you. all his worries about not being good enough, about not being worthy of you, suddenly made no sense—he was perfect for you, because he was made to be perfect for you, too. and he was making you feel the same—safe, certain, content. now he could be sure that you were truly happy.

“—and then… i just laid my hand on—” you looked at yeonjun and your heart sank. “jjun… jjun-ie, why are you crying?” you tugged one of your hands away from his hold, cupping his cheek, as you felt your eyes start tingling again. “i’m not in pain, it's just annoying a bit,” you sniffled, unable to hold your own tears at the sight of his wet lashes. “and if it's about the fight, i’m so sorry, i overreacted and—”

yeonjun carefully wrapped his fingers around your wrist, not wanting to hurt you by touching the cuts and scratches on the back of your hand, and brought it to his mouth, kissing each little cut as gently as he could. “i just love you so much,” he cupped your face with his other hand, brushing your tears away and caressing your quivering lips. “so, so much. you can’t imagine,” he whispered, pressing his forehead to yours. “and i’m so sorry for being such an asshole.”

you opened your mouth to say that it wasn’t his fault, that he was just overworked and tired, and that you should’ve been comforting him instead of coming to his work and making a scene. but just as if he knew you were going to say absolute nonsense, he pressed his lips to yours in the gentlest attempt to shut you up. he couldn’t help but smile into the kiss, chuckling softly when you chased him as he pulled away.

“it’s my fault,” yeonjun whispered, pecking your lips again, unable to stop himself from doing it when you were sitting there so cutely, wanting to comfort him more than anything, even though you needed that comfort yourself. “i’ve been doing everything wrong for the whole month, and—”

you pouted and shook your head. “no, not everything,” you frowned, and yeonjun tilted his head, so you continued. “you held me every night. that wasn’t wrong,” you mumbled, your hand clenching the fabric of his t-shirt at his side.

he pressed his lips together, trying to hide the wide smile—your attempts at comforting him were the cutest, but you had no idea that you’d already done everything that he truly needed—became a part of his life. yeonjun pecked your nose and took a small step back. “come on, baby, let me wash and disinfect my hands and i’ll treat these little cuts that are my fault,” he kisses the corner of your lips too and rushed to wash his hands before you could argue that they weren’t.

yeonjun was the softest while treating the cuts—he kissed each one before putting ointment on it, carefully covering it with a plaster, and kissing over it again, making you giggle. you got many forehead, nose, and lip kisses too, as “it seemed like there was something too”, he explained, before pecking one more time to “check properly”. you never realized how much you’d missed him over this past month and how happy you actually were when he was happy.

you didn’t do anything the rest of the day—yeonjun was spoiling you like a princess, and you had to almost tear cutlery away from his hands because he was unironically going to feed you himself. he still felt bad for everything, if he had to admit, feeling like he needed to make up for his behaviour. but he was glad he didn’t bring you flowers as an apology—he doubted you would be in the mood to see more flowers that day; and the bouquet you made yourself and brought home was the prettiest anyway. so he decided to apologize with food, cuddles, one of your favourite movies and an hour-long session of eating you out. or maybe with letting you suck him off—he hadn’t decided yet.

yeonjun didn’t tell you the truth that evening—you both were tired, emotional and a bit shaky, the two of you needed rest and comfort—especially you—instead of another shake. he didn’t tell you the next few weeks either, because he was still busy with work, leaving early and half-asleep, coming home late and tired, only wanting to eat something and cuddle you. and when the tiring period finally ended… you went on a vacation together, renting a small house in a closed area on the seashore—these hellish months had brought him enough money—and your mouths were mostly busy with other things.

you, as the one who was getting the most exhausted—but satisfied, and yeonjun always made sure you were it—after these ‘other things’, were falling asleep early, snuggled against his side, your soft breathing warm on his bare chest, as he played with your hair or caressed the love marks and reddened skin, appreciating the trust you were giving him. but whatever he was doing, was always happening almost automatically, as his mind was occupied with the thoughts of how truly fucked up he was now for not telling you earlier, because he had absolutely no idea how to let you know that you didn’t have to be anxious of any of you meeting your soulmate anymore.

yeonjun tried to convince himself that the right moment just hadn’t come yet, and if there was a ‘right moment’ it wasn’t perfect. so yeonjun waited. and waited. and waited some more, until it was too late already, and the only thing that was left was to admit that it wasn’t about a right or perfect moment. he was afraid. of your reaction—you might start overthinking, questioning the reality of your feelings; of the way it'd affect what you had—it already was absolutely perfect, and trying to make it ‘better’... might only ruin everything.

but more than anything yeonjun feared repeating the past. when you were sleeping so peacefully on his chest, making him feel like the happiest person in the universe, he couldn't help but recall the night when it felt like his whole world had burned to ashes, because at these moments everything around the two of you seemed and felt the same. what if he was mistaken? what if it was just a coincidence? what if the sting he felt wasn't because of the bond at all? the further that day went into the past, the more he doubted it—the more ‘what it's started appearing in his head.

and if yeonjun was wrong, he'd live through it easily—loving you the same as he had loved before that day, and the same as he loved you now, which had always been easy. but if he told you and it turned out to be a mistake… he felt his heart sink as he pulled you a bit closer—he’d be like her. lying about one of the most sacred things and breaking your heart exactly the same way his one had been broken years ago, and it was the wound only you managed to heal. but he knew you’d forgive him, telling him he was just confused and assuring him you’d be too. he just wasn’t sure he would be able to forgive himself.

so yeonjun stayed silent, despite knowing he was only making it worse in the end. he simply hoped it’d somehow solve itself on its own. it did. and he thought that maybe he should’ve told you everything straight away instead of waiting until fate would force the truth out of him in the worst way possible.

the vacation was almost over, so you refused to leave the nice water unless you really had to—yeonjun had to basically drag you out when, in his opinion, it was time for you to stop being a little mermaid and walk in the human world for a bit. he still kept you company in the water too, enjoying swimming just as much, but he tried to look out for you—mostly because he cared, but partly because he wanted to spoil you by doing everything for you so you didn't have to leave the water.

yeonjun wanted to bring you cherries that time—they were tasty, the tastiest you both tried that season, and, oh, so juicy, you could never stop yourselves from trying to help each other clean what was left on your lips. it never failed to lead to something more, so he was eager to bring another bowl of cherries to put on the dock for both of you to enjoy them and, perhaps, each other. eager and careless.

you both had no idea how it happened. one second yeonjun was peppering kisses all over your face, his fingers caressing the skin of your ass under you swimwear, as he murmured he’d be back soon as that you should wait patiently and be a good girl; and the next second, maybe the dock was too slick from the way you’d played around splashing each other near it, maybe he was too distracted by thoughts of what you two could do on the last day of vacation, but as he pushed himself up on the dock, his left hand slipped, and his right wrist bent at an awkward angle, trying to hold his weight.

the pain wasn’t unbearable—yeonjun experienced worse when he barely cared about his health and well-being while trying to drown himself in dancing years ago—ankles, wrists, fingers. so he cursed with a groan, falling back into the water and wrapping fingers around the sprained wrist. and then, his brain registered something he had ignored because of the unexpected pain just seconds ago—your yelp that slowly turned into a sob behind his back. he turned around in a rush, his instinct to protect you flaring up until he saw you holding your right wrist the way he was holding his. cold shivers ran down his spine—he was right. and the pain wasn’t too bad because you took half of it.

you were scared more than in pain—much more—and just a glance at you was enough for yeonjun to know that. he swam closer to you, careful with his wrist as he wrapped his arms around you in an attempt to calm you down, even though you were simply frozen—he knew that you’d go through it (and through anything, actually) easier in his arms. he didn’t say anything, unlike his usual whispers of praises and support, didn’t caress your back or play with your hair. he simply held you, letting you get your head around what had just happened.

your brain was on overdrive to find a logical explanation for what had happened, refusing to acknowledge that there was only one. “i… i’m just empathic,” you said quietly, your voice shaky. “i… i saw you and… and felt the same, and…”

yeonjun tightened his hold, as if trying to shield you better. “you are, baby,” he whispered into your hair. “but it’s not the reason.”

it felt like your mind, heart and soul were a mess—you had no idea what you were supposed to feel or think, and what you actually felt and thought. you couldn’t grasp even one thought—they kept on flashing in your mind, blending into an unrecognizable mess, as if you were on some broken carousel—let alone decipher what you felt. you couldn’t even put the very basics into words to ask for yeonjun’s help. gosh, you weren’t sure that you understood the situation right. all of that just made the fuse go off, and you slipped into apathy.

yeonjun felt your hold on his waist relax, and leaned back a bit, studying your face. “baby, are you okay?” he whispered, his left hand cupping your cheek and lifting your head so you looked him in the eyes. “does it hurt too bad?” he asked, despite knowing that you felt the same as he did, the bond giving you half of what he was supposed to feel.

“huh?” you blinked a few times trying to focus on his eyes, his face worried. “i…” you looked down at your slightly throbbing wrist, before looking back up. “not… not next to you…” you pressed your lips together before continuing. “we should call a taxi to take you to the hospital,” you said quietly, almost without any emotion.

yeonjun hated himself for putting you in that state. he should’ve told you earlier, you were supposed to find out from him, and in other circumstances—the ones where he would’ve had the opportunity to comfort you properly. “it’s okay, mouse,” he murmured into your skin, lips pressed to your forehead. “it’s not the first time it’s happened. we have ice, so i’ll make an ice pack, and i brought an elastic bandage,” he looked at your slightly puzzled expression, and continued with a chuckle. “just in case.”

you replied with a small nod of acknowledgement and a quiet ‘okay’, your head still blank. it probably was a dream. yeonjun probably fucked you so well before you fell asleep, that your mind just decided no one except the one destined for you could do it, so it makes him one. yeah, it was probably that. when you woke up, you’d tell him what happened in your dream, and you’d laugh together at how ridiculous it was. because—pfft—it was absolutely ridiculous. wouldn’t you have noticed earlier? of course, you would! so it meant you were just asleep, and that throbbing pain in your wrist was… just an uncomfortable position?...

you still acted according to the dream, helping yeonjun get out of water and make an ice pack with ice and a towel, pressing it to his slightly swollen wrist and sitting next to him. you felt a bit better now, as your mind was convinced you were just sleeping, but the dream didn’t want to end, neither when you helped yeonjun put the bandage on, tying it a bit too tight and making you both flinch uncomfortably, nor when you decided to make pizza so he didn’t have to bother with trying to eat with his left hand and almost burned yourself on the cheese.

you pressed your lips together, gathering courage, as your head rested on yeonjun’s chest after the dinner. “it’s not a dream, is it?” you asked quietly, your question a mere whisper.

his heart skipped a beat—so that’s why you were so calm. you thought it wasn’t real. “no, baby,” he whispered, swallowing thickly. “it’s not,” he managed to get the words out, knowing what you were going to say next. he just hoped you wouldn't be mad.

you nodded hesitantly, lickling your dry lips. “you didn’t seem surprised,” you mumbled, still not completely sure if you were talking about the same thing, but too scared to say it out loud. what if he meant something else? or worse—exactly that. but… was it ‘worse’ though?..

yeonjun took a deep breath—here it came. it’d either make you two basically inseparable or burn everything to ashes because he betrayed your trust. “after the fight, when you went to that bouquet-making class… i felt it,” he confessed, and it felt like even his heart stopped beating because he was afraid to miss your answer. but you replied with a quiet ‘oh’—nothing else—and yeonjun realized he’d prefer you be mad than so quiet. “you don’t have to…” he took a shaky breath, “to stay because of the bond. if you want to leave—”

you clenched your teeth—your brain went into overdrive again, trying to place all the puzzles together, and yeonjun wasn’t making it better. why would he tell you that? did he want you to leave? no, he couldn’t. not your yeonjun. you sniffled, nuzzling into him. “no, i don’t. just shut up, please,” you squeezed your eyes, as the tangled ball of your emotions started unraveling itself in the form of tears. “i don't want to think about not being with you,” you sniffled again as those thoughts started filling your head anyway. “not now. and not ever. but if you want me to leave—”

yeonjun felt like he was punched into gut at the thought of him ever wanting you to leave. he tightened his arm around you, and content shivers ran down his back when you snuggled closer, showing him you wanted to stay with him despite all of his mistakes. “i don't. never,” he whispered into your hair. “i’d handcuff you to myself and throw away the keys if i could,” he murmured, but immediately froze, realizing what he had just said. was it too much?..

but you only chuckled into his neck through tears. “why would we need two pairs of handcuffs?” you asked, your giggles warm against his neck. “but if you want, we could be using the ones you choose, not me.”

yeonjun shifted a bit, hinting at wanting to change position, and you sat on his lap before helping him sit up too. he immediately wrapped arms around you, his face in your neck, peppering kisses everywhere he could reach. “you’re a menace, my love,” he murmured, the uninjured hand getting under your t-shirt, caressing the skin of your lower back. “the sweetest, the most angelic menace the world have ever seen,” he lowered his hand to squeeze your ass before slapping it lightly to hint at you to move closer.

you moaned, obeying and immediately feeling how hard he was, your eyes rolling back. “jjun,” you moaned out, as his kisses turned into gentle nibbles. “y-your hand…”

yeonjun’s chuckle was breathy against your neck as he slipped fingers under the leg opening of your panties, digging his nails into the soft skin of your butt. “your hips are moving like they don’t care,” he whispered into your ear, making you shudder, as you realized you’d been grinding on him all that time. “it’s okay, baby, i’ll guide you,” he moved his hand between your legs, hissing at the accidental touch to his dick, and moved your panties to the side, immediately feeling how wet you were. “gosh, you make me lose my mind every time i feel how fast you get wet,” he said, voice hoarse, before sinking his teeth into the sensitive spot on your neck, making you arch your back.

“i-it’s you, jjun—” you choked out a moan, feeling his fingers part your folds to teasingly caress your clit, as he whispered a soft ‘yeah?’ before quickly returning to your neck to leave more bites. you knew he enjoyed hearing you talk while he tortured you—he loved seeing how little it always took you to lose the ability to form coherent sentences when you were with him, and you wanted nothing more than to talk. “just you,” you choked out as he pushed his finger inside, moving it in and out gently—too gently. it only took you one thought, and he withdrew his finger, making you whine. “you drive me—oh g-gosh!—crazy,” you whimpered, the wet sound of him slapping your pussy loud and embarrassing.

yeonjun chuckled at the way you tried to hide in his shoulder. “you’re absolutely drenched, baby,” he whispered mockingly into the skin of your neck, sending shivers down your spine. “so wet and ready for me. always so eager,” he murmured, pushing two of his fingers inside again and scissoring them, your whimpery moans music to his ears. “tell me, angel, do you always get this way when i’m around? always thinking of my cock, aren’t you?”

you could only whimper in response, your body squirming on his lap, as his fingers curled inside you. he rarely used left hand for fingering you, so now his every move was a bit less controlled, making your head spin, as you arched your back pressing your chest into his. he wasn’t satisfied with you, though, stopping his movements, and you whimpered trying to fuck yourself on his fingers. you knew he wanted you to answer, but his fingers had always felt so good inside, and now especially—it was nearly impossible to stop.

shit, yeonjun thought. he really needed the second hand for the moments when you were a brat—to grab your neck, slap your thigh or just simply stop your hips without having to withdraw his fingers. he knew you were perfectly aware of what he wanted, but decided to misbehave. “answer,” he said firmly, smirking at the way you clenched around his fingers at his tone—his baby loved being ordered around.

you whined quietly, stilling your hips and trying to gather your thoughts, as yeonjun’s thumb caressed your folds so close to your clit just to make it a bit harder for you. “i d-do… always so needy, always thinking of you,” you mewled, tightening your arms around his shoulders, his warmth sipping into you in the nicest way possible. “you’re always on my mind…” you added quieter, biting into your lip trying to keep the sniffle inside.

yeonjun immediately felt the way your mood changed—even before you finished the sentence—and he slowly withdrew his fingers, quickly wiping them on his thigh—he hated wasting something so sweet and mind-blowingly delicious, but that was the furthest possible moment from the right one. “it’s okay, mouse,” he hushed you, wrapping both of his arms around your middle. “i’m always thinking of you too. of how happy you make me, of how happy i want to make you,” he whispered, slowly lying back down and tugging you with him.

“i’m sorry,” you sniffled, hiding your face in his neck. why couldn't you be just a bit less of a crybaby—at least for once? at least not when your man was painfully hard. “i ruined the mood,” you mumbled, your fingers clenching the fabric of his tank top on his chest. “and keep ruining it.”

“you did everything right, darling,” yeonjun murmured softly, his hand combing through your hair. “i know i would get carried away eventually and try to grab you with my right hand,” he tilted your head a bit, pushing your chin up to press lips to your forehead. “and i'd hate to hurt you like that,” he murmured, then pushed your chin up a bit more, and you, catching the hint, pressed lips to his softly, making him smile into the kiss. “see?” he whispered, not moving away an inch. “you're so smart. you always know what i want.”

yeonjun's heart melted—it always did when you admited something people might consider embarrassing. he cherished your trust more than anything. “of course, darling. just start whenever, wherever and however you're ready,” he paused for a second before his lips stretched out in a foxy smile. “even if you'll wake me up at 6 a.m. on sunday,” he added quieter, as if sharing a big secret. “because i love you.”

you snuggled into his side, nuzzling face into his chest. “i love you too,” you whispered. “more than my heart can take,” your mumble was almost unheard, but yeonjun tightened his hold on your waist for a second, showing appreciation. “i don't know what i feel about all of that, but…” you bit your lip nervously, and he froze, worried about what you were going to say. “i know i want to be with you. no matter what.”

“thank you,” yeonjun whispered, his heart beating faster. maybe, it was obvious by the way you were nearly lying on top of him, constantly trying to snuggle closer. maybe it was obvious by the way you didn't leave when you found out he had known for a month and hadn't told you. but he needed that clarification as much as air and almost as much as he needed you. “and don't think about not noticing earlier, okay?” he said, as if reading your mind. “it wasn't that obvious as it feels it was,” he caressed the soft skin on your lower back, sending shivers all over your body, as you replied with a quiet ‘okay’. “good girl.”

a few weeks had passed when you were finally ready to talk about it, as the thoughts, feelings and emotions had finally settled down in your chest and you could try to organize them in some way. you didn't know why you had reacted that way—going into denial and pretending it didn't exist for weeks. it wasn't a big deal at all, as it barely changed anything. if anything, it only saved you from all the midnight anxieties and midday worries about one of you meeting their soulmate—you both already had. long ago and in the best way possible.

of course, you didn't wake yeonjun up at 6 a.m. on sunday to talk about it—on sleepless sundays at 6 a.m. you were usually busy with something else—you simply started the conversation while cuddling on the couch and watching a movie. warmth spilled inside your chest as you realized how ‘serious conversation’ had changed throughout the year—starting at the table while eating dinner, drifting into cozily sitting on the couch facing each other, and eventually ending up just cuddling, where there was no need to see each other's faces anymore—you felt everything.

when you apologized, yeonjun playfully slapped your thigh, saying that even if you decided to never talk about it, it wouldn't change anything between you or about the bond, and he'd never mention it either, simply trying to lessen all the possible injuries because he never wanted to hurt you. you murmured that it would be the same for you, but you just didn't want him to think you had kept quiet because you’d had a change of heart—you hadn’t and you never would.

“why did you feel it then?” you asked quietly, gently tracing random patterns on his chest with your nail. “the cuts from the roses, i mean,” you added even quieter, unsure if he even had an answer. you knew he had spent years researching the bond, but it wasn’t easy to find the wild roses soulmates who had met each other—or, it turned out, recognized each other—and wanted to talk about it, so maybe he didn’t exactly know the way it worked. “it’s fine if you don’t know.”

yeonjun shook his head. “i’ve been thinking about it for the whole month,” he admitted. “and i feel like my solution is so easy, that it can’t be true, because none of the wild roses i talked to ever mentioned it to me,” he paused but shook his head. “but maybe they barely fight… it was our first fight, and it happened… three? four months in?”

you leaned up on his chest a bit, his words picking your interest immediately. yeonjun kept surprising you when it came to researching the bond—he never seemed like someone who would hunch over books and a laptop, making notes on every little important thing he found about the wild roses soulmates, or spend sleepless nights reflecting on everything he knew and brainstorming. you still had a hard time imagining university student yeonjun, who had done all of that while majoring in arts and being a really good student.

“so, the second rule in fleur de destin was about distance, right?” yeonjun looked at your nod, and lost the trail of thought—you were looking at him like that again. like he was the smartest person you had ever met. like he was about to turn your whole world upside down, and you couldn’t wait for it, like it was the most expensive gift. he knew he’d never be able to live without it now that he had tasted it. he cleared his throat, trying to pull himself together. “it doesn’t say ‘soulmates’ or ‘wild roses’, it says ‘souls’. the reflection of pain increases with the distance between souls to make them want to lessen it.”

it felt like the thought had appeared in your head on its own, and it was earth-shattering. “it’s not about bodies, it’s about souls,” you mumbled, your eyes widening, mouth slightly open. it made perfect sense—it was so simple yet so genius at the same time. he was a genius.

yeonjun couldn’t stop himself from leaning in and pecking your lips quickly, pulling you out of your monumental discovery and your admiration for him. you gave him a soft slap to the chest for making you flustered, but it only made him want to fluster you more, yet he still tried to keep himself in check. “it’s also about souls,” he corrected. “i think, while we had no emotional connection, it was about the distance between our bodies, which was… not so far?” he said uncertainly. “considering we were neighbours.”

you nodded a few times, the thought continuing to unravel in your head. “but when we got one, the distance between our souls started to matter too,” you picked up his thought—it felt like you were slowly untangling a ball of threads, and yeonjun watched you, ready to help any moment, as he had long since unraveled his own. “and we…” you paused, pressing your lips together, memories of the stupid, completely unnecessary fight resurfacing.

“and we had a fight,” he finished for you, cupping your cheek. “and there’s nothing wrong or bad about it,” he pecked your lips. “you helped me see that i was unfair to both of us and what we have,” he watched the way you pressed your lips together harder, trying to believe him. “there’s nothing wrong with fighting if we talk it out and learn to be better, okay?”

you pouted. “okay… why are you so… blue?” you tried to tease him, but it didn’t quite sound like it—more like a childish attempt at offence.

but yeonjun only chuckled, rubbing the tip of his nose against yours—he knew it was a compliment and a sign of gratitude. he knew you like the back of his hand. “because my baby needs me to be blue right now,” he whispered. “and i’ll be anything she needs,” he pressed his lips to yours, one hand cradling the back of your head while the other tugged at your leg,, guiding you to straddle his lap. he deepened the kiss, brushing his tongue against your lower lip, but even before you could part your lips, he leaned back slightly with a quiet curse. “sorry. you’re so distracting…” he whispered, breath warm against your lips.

you tried to clear the fog that almost immediately filled your brain—the effect yeonjun had on you was outstanding. “you’re no better,” you murmured, still struggling to tear your gaze away from his lips, stretched so beautifully in that knowing half-smirk, half-smile. you loved it when he looked like a cat who had just stolen the biggest fish. “i…” you shook your head, trying to refocus. “uh, i wanted to ask why you didn’t say earlier,” you admitted, finally looking him in the eyes.

“oh…” yeonjun licked his lips nervously. “at first, i had no idea how to tell you,” he confessed, running his fingers through his hair. “and it was getting worse with every passing day because then i had to explain why i hadn't said earlier. and then…” he paused, memories filling his mind—fear of rejection, of getting his heart broken, and worst of all—of being a liar. “i was scared. scared of ruining everything and of your reaction. and…” he let out a shaky breath. you pecked the corner of his lips trying to give him a bit of strength, and he smiled tiredly. “and it felt more and more like misinterpretation.”

“i know,” you whispered. “i feel the same now… it doesn’t feel real, even though the way i felt you spraining your wrist was more than real,” you said, laying your head back on his chest.

yeonjun sighed—the guilt was almost as strong as it had been on the first day. he just couldn’t believe he hurt you because of his own carelessness. “i’m still so sorry for that…” he murmured, wrapping his fingers gently around your right wrist and caressing it with his thumb, before bringing it to his lips.

you shook your head. “i’m happy i could take half of your pain away. remember the third rule? ‘taking half of the pain of your lover is a blessing, desired by many’,” you reminded him, despite perfectly knowing he knew these rules by heart in both languages. “it was much easier when i was next to you,” you admitted. “it was… the one i couldn’t understand along with the fourth rule. fifth? ‘when they’re truly close, pain subsides and pleasure grows instead’?” you asked, and yeonjun nodded, chuckling at your rough translation, but you continued. “and you looked hella hot in the wrist bandage,” you teased, earning a chuckle.

“you’re always so horny, darling,” he laughed, squeezing your thigh.

you rolled your eyes teasingly, making sure he saw it. “i wouldn’t be, if you weren’t always so irresistibly hot, choi yeonjun,” you shot back, sticking your tongue out, and he laughed, shaking his head. but there was still one thing that you couldn’t get out of your head—you’ve been dating for so long, yet you’d never properly seen his soulmate mark, too scared to wander into something so intimate, especially if it connected him to someone else. but now… “can i…” you cleared your throat. “can i look at your mark now?”

yeonjun froze—he had never realized he hadn’t ever shown it to you properly, except for teasing you every time you looked away when he was changing, “baby…” he cupped your chin. “you could’ve asked it half a year ago, and i’d have undressed faster than ever,” he joked, trying to lighten the mood, before sitting up. he lifted his arms to tug the tank top off before pausing for a second to peck your lips. “have i told you you’re breathtaking in the last five minutes? i feel like i’m failing in my duty of being a man worthy of you.”

you felt your cheeks heat up as you pinched yeonjun’s arm, crawling away from his lap to give him space to take his tank top off and turn around. you weren't surprised when he made a show of tugging it of, making sure you saw his muscles at the best angle, but you were more than thankful, your eyes glued to his arms as you nearly felt your mouth fill with saliva. he smiled smugly—the way you openly and sincerely fed his ego on a regular basis… no one could fight his insecurities the way you did. he made a mental note to make sure you were thoroughly aware of how thankful he was that evening.

surprisingly, yeonjun felt… completely okay with showing you the mark. he expected to feel exposed and uncomfortable, but instead, he was calmer than he had ever been when it came to the mark, simply letting you explore it. you, on the other hand, were far from calm, your heart pounding like crazy. the second you saw the mark, you were sure you forgot how to breathe for a moment. you traced it slowly with the tip of your finger, your hand trembling. it was so, so close… if only you had been a bit more brave and asked earlier…

you let out a shaky breath, sure your voice would tremble as bad as your hand. “jjun, can you… stand up, please?” you asked quietly, and yeonjun threw a puzzled look at you over his shoulder but stood up nevertheless as you followed him, tugging your t-shirt away.

he didn’t even have time to ask you anything before you wrapped your arms around his middle and pressed yourself to his back, his hands subconsciously covering yours on his stomach. he loved it when you hugged him like that—usually sleepily nuzzling into his shoulder, not wanting to be far from him as he cooked breakfast early in the morning—but now, your heart was racing, and he felt it perfectly against his back. he almost turned around to ask you what was wrong, but you broke the silence earlier.

your voice sounded so small, almost scared, that yeonjun immediately turned around in your hold, wrapping his arms around you, both of your hearts now beating in sync—the hearts of soulmates, confirmed at last. “you should rest, mouse,” he murmured into your hair. “let’s go to bed, and continue later,” he said, feeling your nod as he grabbed your t-shirt from the couch, helping you put it on and leading you to the bedroom.

yeonjun knew you were overwhelmed—even though the news wasn't exactly new, and it was definitely good news,it was still too good, too much to process all at once. he had gone through it already—it felt like shedding the heaviest weight you had carried on your chest your whole life, but the problem was, you had learned to live with it, learned to breathe with it, and now, when it was finally gone, each breath made uncontrollably came too freely, too strongly, giving you more oxygen than you needed, making your head spin; and it was taking too much strength to control each one. but he was more than happy to help you find a new way to breathe.

when yeonjun laid down and you clung to him without wasting a second, he chuckled, pulling you closer. he reached for the nightlight on the bedside table, realizing he had forgotten to turn it off a few hours ago. his hand found the book instead, and he paused before wrapping his fingers around it, taking it with him.. “darling, can i tell you something?” he asked, not wanting to overwhelm you more without your permission. “it's about the book, though.”

you murmured a quiet ‘yes’ into his neck, trying your best to stay awake and listen to him. you didn't really want to think about anything even remotely connected to soulmates right now, but you also knew that yeonjun had always known your limits like the back of his hand. whatever he had to say wouldn’t disturb you or make you feel like too much—you were sure of that. still, you nuzzled closer, just in case you were a bit less stable than either of you expected. and he was warm, softer after the vacation, and you simply wouldn’t leave his side if you could help it.

“so i bought that copy of fleur de destine from a library,” yeonjun started and, before you could point out that libraries usually don't sell books, added. “let's just say i paid a really bad late fee for being overdue on my whole life,” he explained, your soft sleepy laugh being the most beautiful song to his ears. “and when i was looking through it for the first time, i found a folded paper tucked between pages…”

yeonjun saw it as if it had happened just yesterday. he had just started researching about his bond after returning home and only wanted that book for the page about wild roses, since it was believed that despite the bond having only five rules there, each one was completely true. the book was so beautiful, though, that he ended up looking through it fully—he only translated the wild rose passage, but the rest was aesthetically pleasing. and then, between the pages about the daisies bond, he found a little note. the translation was terrible—it hadn’t taken much for him to put two and two together and realize it was written by a child—but it was undoubtedly about his bond.

the note became just as important as the book, if not more—whenever he thought he couldn’t continue researching because his head pounded with how much information there was and how actually little of it had at least some value, whenever he got angry at yet another so-called fact turning out to be a myth, whenever he just wanted to give up, he looked at the note. at the simple words written by a child’s hand, trying to translate an old-fashioned french—both in language and meaning—into something they could understand. he was almost certain half of it barely made sense to them, but they hadn’t given up. and he, a grown-up with anything he could possibly need basically at the tip of his fingers, couldn’t give up either.

yeonjun barely remembered the way things had been translated there—the correct translation had long since replaced the child’s work—and the note was tucked back between the pages where he had found it. he never forgot it, though, sometimes pulling himself up from the lowest moments of his life solely by the thought of some child who had been dedicated enough to finish a task that probably seemed impossible.

your eyes were closed, but you still listened to the story attentively, cherishing each one of the stories from yeonjun’s past and not wanting to miss a single one. your peaceful listening was disturbed, though, when he started sitting up, shifting your legs across his lap and tugging you closer so your shoulder rested under his arm. you immediately wrapped your arms around his waist, laying your head on his shoulder and getting ready to listen further.

yeonjun opened the book on your lap, taking out the folded paper but setting it aside as he flipped to the endpaper, where a small envelope was glued, holding the names of everyone who had borrowed the book. “usually, these lists stick out, right?” he asked, and you murmured a quiet ‘yes’, having a hard time keeping your eyes open and focusing on a bunch of yellow-ish papers in the dim room. “and i thought for a really long time that they took it out before giving me the book,” he said, grabbing the tweezers from the bedside table and carefully pushing them into the envelope to fish out the tiny paper. the action fully woke you up. “but a few days ago, i found out it was just too small and had been pushed inside.”

you knew the action too well—when you put your name on the paper in the copy you borrowed, you had accidentally pushed it too deep inside. the librarian had to hunt for tweezers to pull it out, grumbling the entire time, and maybe a few more times whenever you visited the library after that. but it couldn’t be your copy, could it?.. you took the paper carefully from yeonjun’s hand, looking at your own name written last in your handwriting.

“so…” yeonjun started, picking up the folded paper and holding it out to you. you took the note, carefully opening it, eyes quickly running over the lines. “i think it’s rightfully yours?” he watched as your fingers traced the old writing on the torn-out page from a school notebook.

when you had written it, you were full of hope—hope to meet your soulmate, to ask them about each bruise and scratch you had felt, to tell them about each of yours, because somehow, you had been completely sure they’d be interested to know the way your mom didn’t even scold you anymore for scraping your knees on the asphalt, especially after they had healed and reopened for the third time, and you had thought your clumsiness was funny. you had planned to ask them who their favourite power ranger and pokémon were, and probably tease them for being so basic about choosing red and pikachu.

you smiled at the memories—how silly and childish it all was. and now, here you were, snuggled against your soulmate, reading a translation that felt like the worst work of your life, while his lips pressed gently to your temple, murmuring words of love and gratitude into your skin.

“you were helping me stay afloat in the worst moments of my life for so long…” yeonjun murmured, his hand caressing your thigh, kisses moving lower by the side of your face until he pressed his lips right under your jaw. “keep me afloat til the end of our days? i promise to do the same and much more for you,” he whispered, peppering kisses over the column of your neck, as his hand moved between your legs.

“do wild roses die at the same time?” you asked, the question more of a thought out loud, but yeonjun froze before letting out a chuckle into your neck, making you giggle at the tickling feeling.

“baby, you’re being horny when we’re talking about my sprained wrist that hurt you, and think about death when i’m ungodly close to flipping you over and making you go dumb for my cock long before i touch you even with my fingers.”

you pouted, parting your thighs and making more room for his hand—he immediately got the hint, tracing the outline of your pussy through thin, already wet fabric and making you gasp softly. “i—i can be horny too! can you imagine how many times you can make me go dumb for your cock? and in how many ways?”

yeonjun groaned a rough ‘menace’ into your neck and pushed you down, making you lie across the bed, as he towered over you, quickly tugging your panties off and throwing them somewhere—tonight he was going to stuff your mouth with his fingers, not some stupid fabric. “i’m starting tonight,” he promised, pushing your t-shirt up to your neck to fully open the mark on your chest, groaning at the sight of a few layers of his marks, new and bright over the old fading ones, before continuing, “and i’m making a list, baby.”

you whimpered at the way he had bitten into the skin on your ribs, arching your back, as he moved his bites lower. “can i—ah!—choose favourites?” you squeaked, as he slapped the thigh he put on his shoulder, before biting into the soft flesh inside of it and working on a mark.

yeonjun murmured something in thoughts, before shrugging and pressing his lips to your pelvis. “you can, but i know you’ll choose the ones that make you go dumb the fastest,” he chuckled, digging nails into your thigh and waist, as he watched the way you arched your back so beautifully. he was going to absolutely ruin you now. “which are my favourites. but it’s obvious. we’re soulmates after all.”

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#xylatox ficrecs #˚₊ · ➳ ❥ fleur de destin #txt x reader #yeonjun x reader #txt smut #yeonjun smut #txt hard hours #txt hard thoughts #yeonjun hard hours #yeonjun hard thoughts #txt angst #yeonjun angst #txt fluff #yeonjun fluff

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