#because i promise you whatever you think she or the dems should should do either she can’t or it won’t help.

[sapphia]

tumblr telling everyone to not vote for kamala over israel like the US election decides the war and kamala herself is netanyahu. meanwhile netanyahu is sitting around the negotiating table trying to draw out the talks and so he can use them as an opportunity to massacre more palestinians.

eagle eyed focus on the real issue as always, guys 👍

[raindancer2004]

Blended Family

Word Count: 3,541 Demetri x OC - Part Seven Warnings: Fluff

Demetri has a day off and decides to spend the day with Ellie “Hey buddy, I just wanted to let you know that I’m having a Daddy and Ellie day today” Nico nods “Like how Mummy and I have days where it’s just us?” “Exactly buddy. My next day off will be a Daddy and Nico day ok?” Demetri replies “Ok Daddy. Have fun” Nico replies with a smile “Be good for Daddy Ellie” Nico says softly as he kisses her cheek and she smiles back and babbles at him.

Demetri wraps Ellie up warm and takes her to the park, sitting on a swing with her on his lap, swinging back and forth gently, eliciting little giggles from her “Having fun princess?” He asks low in her ear, she turns to look at him and babbles at him smiling “Good, so I am” He replies smiling back at her, kissing her cheek. After an hour or so they return to the castle and make their way to his and Sophie’s room, grabbing a book from the bookcase he sits on the bed with Ellie on his lap and reads to her until she falls asleep in his arms “I love you Ellie” He says softly and places a kiss to the top her head.

A few days later Demetri spoke to Felix about his relationship with Sophie “How are things between you and Sophie now you’re engaged?” Felix asked “Things are great. I know I can’t give her the big white wedding but I can give her forever. I remember when I was human that marriage was important and it still is today and I wanted her to have rings to prove that I meant forever” Demetri replied “You old romantic you” Felix said and Demetri chuckled a little “I waited a very long time to find my mate…” “I still can’t believe you didn’t realise what she was to you when you met her on the plane” Felix interrupted him shaking his head smiling “I’m glad things happened the way they did because I have Nico and I wouldn’t be without him. In fact, I was looking forward to spending forever just he and I and then thanks to one afternoon in the park Sophie and Ellie entered my life again and everything changed and for the better. I have a beautiful family of my own to love and protect forever” He replied “I know you think of Ellie as yours and Sophie thinks of Nico as hers, but have you thought about having baby with Sophie?” Felix’s tone was a bit more serious now “I have thought about having a baby with Sophie and would love a third child but the time isn’t right to have that conversation with Sophie and Ellie is still so young and Nico is growing so fast I just want to enjoy them growing up for now…but never say never” He answered honestly “Who knew you’d make such a good dad?” Felix said smiling “Thanks…I think” Demetri replied.

Nico had overheard the conversation between his dad and Felix and got upset and ran to find his mum. He found her in the library curled up on the sofa reading, Jane having borrowed Ellie for the afternoon. Nico climbed onto the sofa beside Sophie and snuggled into her and she could tell something was wrong “Sweetie are you ok?” Nico shook his head “I don’t want to lose you mummy” He started crying and Sophie dropped the book and wrapped her arms around him “You aren’t going to lose to me, I promise. It was just a bad dream” She replied “It wasn’t a bad dream. I-I heard daddy talking to Uncle Felix…” “Ok…what did you overhear sweetie?” Concern clear in her voice “Felix asked daddy if he wanted to have a baby with you and daddy said that he would love to have a baby with you” Sophie then realised why Nico was so upset “I don’t want to lose you mummy, Ellie doesn’t want to lose you either. We love you so much” He added “Oh sweetie, I love you and Ellie very much and I’m not going anywhere. You and Ellie are still so young and I’m not ready to have another baby so I will talk to daddy and everything will be ok” Sophie placed her hands on his cheeks and kissed his forehead, wiping his tears away with her thumbs “Ok mummy” Sophie pulled him onto her lap and held him in her arms. She needed to talk to Demetri and they needed reassure Nico together that she wasn’t going anywhere.

Sophie spent the remainder of the afternoon with Nico in his and Ellie’s room, they coloured in some pictures in his new colouring-in books, Sophie noticed that Nico sat as close to her as possible “Having fun sweetie?” “I am mummy, are you?” Nico looked up at her smiling “I am” She leant over and kissed his head. Demetri entered the room holding Ellie “How are you two doing?” Demetri asked as he took a seat on Nico’s bed “We’re having mummy and Nico time” Nico replied before Sophie could answer, not looking up from his colouring book “Oh ok. I didn’t realise buddy. I will take Ellie across the hall into mine and mummy’s room. We’ll see you in a bit” Demetri replied looking at Sophie, an eyebrow raised “I’ll explain later” Sophie mouthed to Demetri, who nodded. “You still upset with daddy?” She asked him quietly “Maybe” Nico replied low “Ok. Remember what I said I’m not going anywhere. You are stuck with me forever” She said as she started to tickle him, Nico’s laughter filling the room “Y-you pr-promise?” He got out between giggles “I promise” She lifted him onto her lap and hugged him tight “I love you” “I love you too mummy.”

Later that night once Nico and Ellie were in bed Sophie had a talk with Demetri “We need to talk Dem” She said as she sat on the sofa “That doesn’t sound good” “It isn’t, I’m not going to lie” She replied and watched how his face suddenly showed a sad expression, his eyes showing that he was nervous about this conversation “What do you want to talk about? Have I done something wrong?” He asked unsure if he wanted to hear the answer ‘has she changed her mind about us, about being with me? What about Nico and Ellie?’ multiple questions running through his head “Yes, you have, although I know you didn’t mean to but…” “But what? What did I do?” He cut her off and reached out to hold her hands “Tell me…please” “Nico overheard your conversation with Felix this afternoon...” She paused to see if he could work out where the conversation was going, only he didn’t answer “The one you had about you and I having a baby together…” She continued, trailing off as she saw realisation wash over his face followed by shock “Santa Cazzo. Sophie, I-I didn’t…I didn’t mean now. I was thinking in the future, maybe…that is, if you want to have a baby with me” He replied “Nico doesn’t know that. He heard you say you wanted to have a baby with me and the first thing he thought of was that he was going to lose me, that Ellie was going to lose me” Demetri looked down at his and Sophie’s joined hands and felt his heart break for his son “He’s upset with you Dem, I mean he knows the woman who gave birth to him died after he was born.” “I’d never let anything happen to you mi amore. If you and I had a baby together in the future I would do whatever it took to ensure you survived” He pulled her onto his lap “I know you would, but if I’m honest I’m not ready to have another baby. We have two as it is and do you really think it’s fair to Ellie to have another sibling grow up faster than her?” She answered honestly “I’m not ready for another child yet either and all I said was that I’d love to have a baby with you but we need to talk about it” He replied “Dem, I love you so much and this is nothing against you but I’m happy with the two we have. I’m Nico’s mum as you are Ellie’s dad. Could you be happy with us not having another baby?” She asked looking into his eyes “Yes. We have two beautiful children and I love the little family we have created” He replied before kissing her “I love you Sophie” “I love you too Dem.” 

The following morning Demetri sits Nico down and explains to him that he would never do anything to harm Sophie as he loves her too much to risk losing her. Nico questions this by reminding him what he told Uncle Felix “You said you wanted to have a baby with mummy, but you know what happened last time.” Nico’s voice dropped, Demetri took Nico into his arms, holding him tight “Mummy and I spoke last night and we are happy that we have you and Ellie and have agreed that we are not going to have another baby. We are not going to lose mummy; I promise you that. I promised you that I would love and protect the three of you forever and I meant it” He kissed Nico’s head and held him close “I love you buddy” “I love you too Daddy.”

Sophie spoke to Demetri about celebrating Nico and Ellie’s first birthdays as it is a milestone for them both and it’s something humans do. “Are we celebrating Ellie’s birthday first then Nico’s as they are born ten weeks apart?” Demetri asked “I think we should do a little something for them both on their birthdays, especially since Nico looks older than Ellie” Sophie replied and he nodded.

Sophie organised a little get together for Ellie’s first birthday, Demetri inviting Felix, the twins, the Kings, their wives and a few the guards he and Sophie got along with. Nico watched his parents planning the party and was excited as he got to attend a birthday party for the first time “I love that you and mummy are human” He told Ellie with a smile “I get to do lots of human things that I would have missed out on otherwise” Ellie smiled and babbled at him. Demetri heard Nico and couldn’t help smiling, for he too was happy his mate and daughter were human.

Ellie’s first birthday arrived and Demetri had spent the night before decorating the family room with a selection of pink Birthday Banners; ‘1st Birthday’, ‘Birthday Girl.’ He collected the ‘Happy 1st Birthday’ helium balloons from one the guest rooms and placed them throughout the family room. He also placed some photos of Ellie throughout her first year around the room too, including some family photos.

Once the family room was decorated, Demetri made his way back to his room and set up the castle doll house he and Sophie got Ellie for her birthday, carefully placing a large sheet of wrapping paper over it. He then placed the stack of neatly wrapped presents around the castle. He knew Sophie would tell him he went overboard; but he didn’t care this was Ellie’s first birthday and he wanted to ensure she enjoyed her ‘special day.’ He planned to spoil Nico on his first birthday too. Finally, Demetri stuck a ‘Birthday Princess’ banner diagonally across the children’s bedroom door, then took a seat on the sofa in his room and waited for his family to wake.

Once they were awake Demetri, Sophie sat on the floor near the present pile, Nico sitting beside Demetri and Ellie on Sophie’s lap. Ellie loved the castle doll house, complete with little dolls “It’s just like our castle” Nico pointed out, Demetri smiled and nodded. Nico gave Ellie a ‘my first doll’ which had a hard head and hands but the rest of the doll was soft.

Later that afternoon everyone who was invited gathered in the family room for Ellie’s birthday party and handed her their gifts. The gifts included books, toys and clothes. Demetri and Sophie got her a small pink birthday cake with a princess bear on top and everyone sang to her. Ellie spent the afternoon smiling and babbling away, enjoying the attention and cuddles she was receiving. “You’re quite the proud papa” Felix said with a smile and placing a hand on his shoulder “How could I not be Fe, I have a beautiful family” Demetri replied with a smile of his own as his eyes locked on Sophie, Nico and Ellie enjoying themselves.

Unknown to Sophie both Demetri and Nico were trying to teach Ellie to talk, although not together. Demetri had read the parenting book that it’s good to encourage your baby to talk, so that is what he did, anytime he was alone with Ellie he would teach her to talk “Hey Princess, want to cuddle with Daddy?” She smiled up at him as he lifted her up into his arms and took a seat on Nico’s bed “You know who I am?” He asks her softly and she nods “Who am I?” Ellie just babbles back at him causing him to laugh “Not quite Princess. I’m daddy. Can you say daddy?” She thinks for a moment, Demetri watching her with curiosity “D-D” The only response he gets before she babbles back at him “I think we need more practice" He says smiling at her lovingly and she snuggles into him “D-D.”

Nico heard Demetri trying to teach Ellie to talk and decided he wanted Ellie to say his name instead of daddy first. “Come on Ellie, say Nico…Ni-co” He encourages her gently but gets no response “Ni-co” She thought for a moment “D-D” Nico shook his head “Try again for me Ellie. Ni-co” “N-N...D-D” Ellie replied smiling and he chuckled “Practice makes perfect Ellie.”

Felix and Alec overheard Nico and Demetri trying to teach Ellie to talk and decided to make a bet on what her first word be “I bet you €15 that Ellie says Nico first” Alec says to Felix “I bet you €15 she says Daddy first, or some variation of the word” Felix replies “Deal” Alec says and holds his hand to Felix. “You’ll both be losers if she says Mummy first” Jane laughed at them “Want in on the bet sister?” “Why not, I think she’ll say Mummy first” Jane replies. They didn’t have wait to long to find out who won the bet as Ellie spoke her first word a few days later.

Ellie woke up from a nap, sitting up in her crib and looking around the room and couldn’t see anyone, deciding she wanted some attention “Dad-dad-dad” She said over and over a few times. Demetri was sitting his room across the hall and thought he heard a soft voice calling out and got up to see to Ellie. As he entered the room, he saw her little face light up “Daddy” She called out and he froze by the door looking confused, she continued to call out to him “Daddy. Daddy” She started to get a little impatient and tried again “Daddy” He shook his head and smiled at her “That’s right my clever little girl” He quickly picked her up and held her against his chest “Daddy” She said as she snuggled into him, holding onto his jumper. Demetri felt his heart swell at hearing her call him daddy, it definitely made his list of top ten moments; all of them involved Sophie, Nico and Ellie “I love you so much Ellie” He placed a kiss to the top of her head and set off to the kitchen to see Sophie and Nico, feeling a little sorry for Sophie that she missed Ellie’s first word.

“Hey mi amore. This clever little girl just said her first word” He said beaming with pride “Well done sweetie” Sophie smiled at Ellie and kissed her temple “What did she say daddy?” Nico asked “Dad followed by daddy” Demetri replied “Ellie. I thought we had a deal. You were supposed to say Nico first” He feigned a hurt look, Ellie smiled at him whilst Demetri and Sophie chuckled “Most babies say daddy first” Sophie told them “Really mummy?” “Yes, some say mummy first but ‘dad.’ ‘dadda,’ or ‘daddy’ is easier for them to say” She replied “Sorry Sophie” Demetri said wrapping an arm around her “Don’t be. It’s a baby thing” She replied “I’m glad her first word was daddy. I know you are too” She added, leaning up to kiss his lips.  

“Pay up twinnies” Felix says holding out his hands, after Demetri tells them what Ellie’s first was “You three bet on my daughter’s first word?” Sophie asked them “Of course, especially after hearing those to encouraging her to talk” Alec replied, Demetri and Nico gave Sophie an innocent look “Like two peas in a guilty pod” She replied smiling.

Sophie organised a little get together for Nico’s first birthday as she did for Ellie, Demetri inviting Felix, the twins, the Kings, their wives and a few the guards he and Sophie got along with. Nico was excited for his own birthday party.

Nico’s first birthday arrived and Demetri had spent the night before decorating the family room with a selection of blue Birthday Banners; ‘1st Birthday’, ‘Birthday Boy.’ He collected the ‘Happy 1st Birthday’ helium balloons from one the guest rooms and placed them throughout the family room. Just as he did for Ellie, he also placed some photos of Nico throughout his first year around the room too, including some family photos. “You’re becoming quite the party planner / decorator D” Felix said as he entered the family room “Only the best for my children” He replied proudly.

Once the family room was decorated, Demetri made his way back to his room, collecting the blue and silver bike he and Sophie got Nico for his birthday from one the guest rooms. He carefully placed large sheets of wrapping paper over it. He then placed the stack of neatly wrapped presents around the bike. Despite Sophie telling him that he went a little overboard with presents for Ellie’s birthday, he did the same for Nico wanting to ensure he enjoyed his ‘special day.’ Finally, Demetri stuck a ‘Birthday Boy’ banner diagonally across the children’s bedroom door, then climbed into bed beside Sophie and waited for his family to wake.

Once they were awake Demetri, Sophie sat on the floor near the present pile, Nico sitting beside Demetri and Ellie on Sophie’s lap. Nico loved the bike, complete with stabilisers ���Can you teach me how to ride it please?” Nico asked Demetri smiled “Of course, buddy. Mummy and I will teach you, but outside in the garden” Ellie gave Nico some dinosaur puzzles.

Later that afternoon everyone who was invited gathered in the family room for Nico’s birthday party and handed him their gifts. The gifts included books, games and clothes. Demetri and Sophie got him a small birthday cake with a dinosaur on top and everyone sang to him. Nico spent the afternoon smiling and playing some games with the Kings and their wives. “Proud papa does it again” Felix said with a smile as he watches Demetri, Sophie, Nico and Ellie enjoying themselves.

Ellie starts pulling herself up to stand next to the coffee table and shuffle walks around it, her little hands on the top supporting her. Nico watches her with fascination ‘clever little human’ he thought to himself, then an idea comes to mind. He climbs off the sofa and walks over to Ellie coming to stand behind her “Here, let me help you” He gently lifts her hands off the coffee table and holding on to them gently, her arms raised up a little, he walks behind her as she takes one step after another. They slowly make their way out into the corridor when Ellie sees Demetri and Sophie walking towards them “Daddy” She calls out with a smile and he looks away from Sophie to see Ellie walking with the help of Nico. He walks a little closer, coming to a stop and kneeling down with his arms held out to her “Walk to daddy” He encourages and when she is a few steps away Nico carefully lets go of her hands but stays behind her ready to catch her should she fall over. She wobbles for a moment before taking an unsteady step forward, then another and another before Demetri gently scoops her into his arms “My clever little girl” He peppers her little face with kisses and she giggles “D-Daddy” “She’s growing up so fast” Sophie says low and Nico laughs “Really mummy? I could walk and talk within a month” “Yes, but you’re a hybrid sweetie, it’s different for Ellie” She replies “Ok, so she’s growing up fast for a human?” “Yes buddy” Demetri replies smiling “I still think she’s small and pretty” Nico said looking at Ellie adoringly.

[isroselalondebisexual]

this one's a bit of a loaded question, but what do you think the kids swapped with their patron troll would be like? like rose in kanaya's place, jade in karkat's place, dave in terezi's place, and john in she-who-must-not-be-named's place. they're all trolls ofc

Rose Maryam, a troll of moderate wealth and status, whose lusus is a Virgin Mothergrub. Well, we know from how Kanaya spoke of her and the brief times we saw her that Mamagrub was a very loving lusus. She comforted Kanaya when she was crying over getting her heart broken and Kanaya told a story of how she and Mamagrub just stayed in for troll-christmas and read stories. Mamagrub is, then, likely to be a more authoritative parent, as much as a weird alien bugmom can be. Rose would probably act somewhat less recklessly than she does in canon, more used to there being consequences to her actions and used to the potential for deadly consequences thanks to her culture. She’s very strong, with quick reflexes, used to having to fend off zombies from her desert home, but I doubt the experiences would be particularly traumatizing because her lusus is right there to make sure she’s okay and zombies are just oogie boogie scary monsters. Probably still has very similar interests, mirroring Kanaya’s own interest in Rainbow Drinker Trash Fiction and whatever passes as troll-goth, which I have firm reason to believe is actually light-centered but that’s a different post. Her role as a Seer of Space- okay, so, full stop, I imagine Space to be the ULTIMATE in Seer aspects, so I’m a little biased- but her role would be p much The Storyteller. Much like Calliope in canon, she is the one who sees not the timeline, but the STORY. The WHOLE. Space, by my understanding of it, is very interested in the WHOLE, and less interested in the PARTS. So Rose can’t really say “do x thing for y result” but she can say “This is our current goal for the moment, we need to work towards that.” Breeding the frog would be… fun… She’d honestly probably need help with that task, if I’m being wholly honest. Rose would, of course, be ENAMORED with the aliens they end up running into, and Kanaya, who I’m assuming would take the role of Light player in this scenario, would fit perfectly with Rose’s Alternian-goth aesthetic and the two of them would generally just continue being soulmates like they are in canon.

Jade Vantas, a mutant troll with incredibly low funding and pretty much no status, whose lusus is an anthropomorphic crab. She’s already pretty punchy in canon, but raised by Crabmom, she’s likely gonna end up with her particular apple not falling far from that tree. Not to mention the constant injustice of her society being shoved in her face, the stress of having to keep herself hidden, she’s gonna wind up pretty snippish! Would absolutely lie about her blood color, though, not hide it. She’d pass herself off as a rust, do absolutely everything she could to make sure the people around her saw her as a rust blood and not suspect her as a mutant. Stays away from games that could make her bruised or bleeding, but if she DOES accidentally get bruised, well, it’s CLOSE ENOUGH, right, no one should stare too long because it’s a reddish hue. She’s gonna make social connections first because she likes having friends, but second because she knows her chances of surviving go up exponentially if there are people who are like, actually important, who care about her. Angrily feels that there should be more worth placed on her own life, but feels deeply insecure due to her own place in society. Her lusus, while cantankerous, does love her though, and while they do have a mutual back and forth of caretaking, Crabmom is somewhat more intelligent than Bec the magic dog so Jade has better met emotional needs. Still ridiculously smart, but with less access to resources Jade’s intelligence is going to be more of a “known in theory not in practice” variety. Being able to alchemize a lot of shit during the Game is gonna be SO FUN for her. Her role as a Witch of Blood would be focused on her ability to use her bonds with her teammates to accomplish their goals. Jade’s gonna end up a little master-mind-y, and she’s the one who’ll take Rose’s “This is our goal now” and go “Okay, here are the people who need to work on that and here’s how” so she ends up sort of the leader? More like team manager, maybe. She knows her friends well, knows their strengths, and can accurately direct them. The fact that her friends will actually listen to her, even after learning her true blood color, and still love and respect her, will be very affirming for her and help her with her insecurities! Being really irritated all the time will need some work, but once removed from the society that makes her frustrated that’ll slowly simmer down.

Dave Pyrope, middle class, raised by a dragon egg. Probably ends up doing something cocky because he puts forth a “hot shit” persona and gets himself injured lmao. He’s chilly, but not cold blooded, and he can get away with some shit but he’s not invincible. Probably for the best that he lives in a goddamned tree tbh. He’s still a sweet boy though, he just craves that validation a little too hard and does stupid shit for attention. His Dragondad isn’t really around to give him all the attention he needs, especially in his more formative years, and even after Something Dumb makes him wake up on his moon when he can talk to Dragondad, Dave still wants ATTENTION dammit. Also I just realized that all the patron trolls were on Prospit, I just realized that. Anyway, Dave does indeed put forth a coolkid persona because it’s something he thinks is going to make people like him, and he’s kinda lonely out in the middle of a forest by himself with only a giant egg for company. That, and it’s Alternia, and signs of weakness can get you killed, so he wants to seem impenetrable and aloft and put out “don’t fuck with me” vibes even though Dave is, admittedly, pretty easy to fuck with. His role as Knight of Mind would start out as him closely guarding his own mentality, shielding it from others’ eyes so they do not know what he’s truly like. He would think, based on his classpect, that this is the right and true way for him to act, that makes sense, and become briefly even more entrenched in his own coolkid persona. But then going past that, he would need to understand that guarding one’s mind can be good, yes, but he’s not actually doing himself any favors by locking his true thoughts and feelings up. Rather, he needs to protect his mind, and the minds of his friends, by encouraging openness and honesty between them. He needs to come to terms with the fact that nothing is going to be clear cut and logical, that everything is messy and the smartest, most pragmatic thing to do when dealing with brains- these things that house all our messy thoughts and emotions and spur our behaviors- is to cultivate them. Dave has to learn how to productively manage psychology, his own and those around him, and accept his own personality. This is something Latula never did. Something Latula ended up failing to do, which is why, even millions and millions of sweeps after her death, she still puts forth her coolkid persona and uses her fake persona as a shield. Karkat remarked on it in canon, and a Doomed Dave in this verse would be a Dave that follows in canon Latula’s footsteps. They have to be honest.

John Serket, upper middle class, with a nasty nasty lusus. He’d get the demand to kill other trolls and feed them to Spiderdad, and honestly? I don’t think he could. I think he’d refuse and he would die, Spiderdad would die, or Spiderdad would have to go get his own damn food, possibly abandoning John. Or maybe Spiderdad would scream in John’s brain until he DID kill somebody. But John, he’s not the kind of person who would take it well. He’d be numb for the start of it, yeah, he wouldn’t feel anything about the warm corpse still bleeding body heat, even as he chucked it into Spiderdad’s web, and I don’t think he’d feel anything in the shower or as he went to sleep that day, even though he wouldn’t be able to stop THINKING about it I don’t think there’d be an emotional connect. Until the daymares. He wouldn’t stop thinking about it, and the guilt and disgust and horror would sink in slowly, slowly, slowly, building and building inside him until he’s sobbing on his kitchen floor and choking on his own breathing because what the FUCK did he do?! Oh god he killed somebody. I could imagine John making the decision that, since he has proven he can kill a troll, he can defend himself, and he can’t do that again, he cannot kill another troll to feed Spiderdad ever again. John would likely use his mind control powers to prompt Equius (or, whoever he’s living next to, idk how trollswaps really work either) into using his STRENGTH into causing a minor avalanche, effectively killing Spiderdad, because how dare he force John to kill, he didn’t want to do that, yeah he’s Cerulean but he never wanted to hurt anybody! And then, of course, comes the guilt of killing his own lusus, of forcing his neighbor to do the dirtywork, of using his powers against a FRIEND and John hadn’t wanted to ever do that either. He’s a list of broken promises to himself. So anyway very traumatized. John’s also likely to end up a very ANXIOUS person, in this kind of swap. A lusus who didn’t really love him, when a lusus is SUPPOSED to be the one creature in a troll’s life that they can KNOW values them, would leave its mark on his psyche, and the mantra that the people who you love/who love you will make demands, demands that come at deep personal detriment, is gonna fuck him up too, regardless of whether John kills his lusus or his lusus just starves or his lusus sticks around but keeps SCREAMING at John to do things for him. Literally all of those options are gonna leave John jittery and utterly anxious as a person. He’s gonna be the type of person who gives into demands very, very easily, and see requests from his friends as things he really can’t back out of, or else it’ll make him the bad guy, a terrible friend, a selfish greedy lazy person who doesn’t pull his weight, no matter how often he says “yes” it’ll never feel like enough to justify a “no.” He and Jade would end up working very closely, because Jade is the one issuing out orders and John responds quickly and without much argument. Like as not, John is gonna be the one helping Rose breed the frogs. As Heir of Luck, which I sorta discussed in my John Lalonde post, he’s a very lucky dude, and breeding frogs would probably go REALLY well for him! But given his different life situation, John Lalonde and John Serket are pretty different people with pretty different goals. John Serket’s personal quest would be more about becoming bright, as a person. John’s natural disposition is to be friendly, cheerful, playful and even somewhat childish. He was stripped of that, by his lusus and his society as a whole, but now he has a chance to play a Game with his friends free of his lusus, free of his old planet and it’s culture, and to truly bloom as a person he has to shuck all the things that were unlucky about his past life and embrace the things that WERE lucky. He’s got good friends, a solid inborn set of morals, and a laugh as brilliant as the dawn. He’s a cheery sunny boy with a lot of love in his heart, so his quest is to really, truly shine.

[spunkyspy]

Were you able to catch dem and Ika's insta live? If so, do you have a recap?

Yea, I caught all but like 5 minutes bc my phone died fskjlddsj but sure! I’ll put it under a read more~

This wont be in chronological order btw just how i remember it

They started out talking about how they couldnt believe it was a new year already

They walked about how they were excited for bbcan6 and they also plan to watch CBBUS i think. Ika was more excited and Dem said it’ll be hard to watch bc he’ll miss it (as in miss playing/being in the house). 

They said that they had a hard time watch bbcan5 back and they had to drink a lot while watching lmao. Ika mentioned how she still thinks that Dem should have won. She said that she loves Kevin and she’s happy for him but she think it would have been a better season/conclusion if Dem had won (i agree lmao) and Dem just kind of nodded

Dem said he might try to watch feeds this year bc he never had but said it’ll be weird. Ika never has either but doesnt want to

She mentioned how she got in yesterday but they didnt say anything so they could have that first day alone together

She said she still gets nervous when she sees him and he still gives her butterflies

She said she usually hides from him when she first gets to the airport but he didnt want to give her time to do it this time lmao

He texted her the day she was gonna get there and told her to text him when she had her bag because he didnt want to pay for parking bc he wanted to trick her and thought it’d make her mad/make her think he was cheap (it didnt) and she said they were both texting and walking through the airport and she walked right past him and some guy was like oh your boyfriend is over there and she was like uh excuse me? and he said arent you Ika? and she said yes and he said he’s right over there with the flowers and she turned and saw him and freaked out (i guess the guy recognized her from BB?)

Ika’s flight was delayed so Dem ended up waiting in the airport for like an hour. He had his flowers and little sign and was sitting on a bench and this older lady came over and sat with him and said “I wish I was Ika Wong”

someone asked if they were gonna move in together soon and Ika said something like y’all are so nosy! Can we leave the nosiness behind in 2017? That’s for us to know and you to not find out (lmao) and the chick apologized and Ika felt bad and said she was just joking. 

Ika then went on to talk about their future house and how they have to have two separate bathrooms so she can leave her stuff everywhere and “pee in peace” (im pretty sure that was her wording lmaooo). She said “When we get our future house” and he said “when we build our house” and that he will build her her own bathroom lmao

they thought about going out last night and going ice skating but i was really cold and Ika said that Dem was the only person that she wanted to spend it with so why go out in the cold

OH LMAO Dem said when he first got out of the house he was really confused by people calling him Daddy and Ika thought he meant the Mom and Dad thing and she was like no it’s a good thing! but he meant literally Daddy skldfjsd

they were pretty tipsy bc Dem had just went to the liquor store and got them some wine and whiskey. Ika was worried about him going even though it was just down the road bc it was sketchy and he promised that he’d be back by 10:12 and it was 10:11 and he wasnt back so she called him lmao

They still have the little stuffed dog George from the house

Dem mentioned his cousin George and said he’s a more pumped up version of Dem and Ika said that she loves George but doesnt like hanging out with them together bc they pick on her and George thinks it’s funny when Dem picks on her lmao

She said that she never expected to find someone so accepting of her but Dem is and she was sitting on him and putting her clips in in lmao

Someone asked if Gary was ever gonna find a man and she said to leave him alone sdfkjsldkf and they mentioned that Gary said he wants a 750,000 dollar ring

She talked some more about how Dem cant move on if she dies and that she’ll haunt both of them sfkjsld she said he’ll have to tell all of them on the first date that he has a crazy dead girlfriend who will haunt them. 

Dem wants to take Ika snowboarding but Ika doesnt want to go lmao. He told her that he was sure she could get to the bottom of whatever slope thing he was talking about but that she probably wouldnt be standing. Someone mentioned that he should take her skiing instead bc it’s safer and he said yea you’re right

he mentioned taking her ice fishing too and Ika said no bc she’s scared that he’d push her in and be like “it’s finally my chance to get rid of her!” lmao

They started talking about when they first liked each other in the house and asked Dem when he thought she like him and he said like day 21-22, after he kissed her and she said no like day 8-9 and he was so surprised and mentioned how she was still saying all of the like friendshipmance stuff then. She said that they would hold hands under the covers early on so production and fans wouldnt see and was surprised that so many fans did. She was really surprised watching back at how affectionate they were. She also said that she was pretty sure Dem like her when he gave her George to sleep with in the have not room and he said “was that before or after i straight up told you i liked you” lmao and she said that she thought it was cute bc he was trying to be cute\

they were wrapping in up and about to end it and some ppl in the chat were like “dont leave!” and at the same time Ika and Dem both started talking about how whenever Dem has to hang up the phone, Ika is always like “NO dont leave me!”

okay that’s basically it! Im sorry it’s so long slfjskldf

[welovekpopscenarios]

You have received a message (MOBILE VER.) (Yoongi x Reader)

Admin: Mimi

Description: Just your daily texts between yourself and Yoongi, two people who love each other to the moon and back – you’re just too blind to see it.

Fandom: BTS

Genre: Angst, fluff

Pairing: Yoongi x Reader

Warnings: language

Word Count: 3512

Authors Note: THIS IS THE MOBILE VERSION I made this so people on mobile could enjoy it too, if you’re interested ^^. Essentially, all the texts are in one column, but the ones that were supposed to be on the right hand side (i.e. Yoongi’s), they’re in italics instead, so the messages aren’t all over the place. I hope you enjoy reading this!

ORIGINAL VERSION

Usernames

Reader: memekween               pepeswife

Yoongi: suga daddy               gramps               Yoongs

Namjoon: Music Man

Jin: jinandjuice

Jhope/Hoseok: Hobo

Jimin: Jiminy Cricket               ChimChim

Taehyung: Tea☕

Jungkook: jungcock

You have received a message

7th May 2017

(09:06pm)

memekween: hey hey suga daddy

suga daddy: please don’t call me that

memekween: but u are my suga daddy ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

suga daddy: please don’t send that face either

suga daddy: what do you want

memekween: wow

memekween: r00d

memekween: I was gonna ask if you wanted to hang out with the most amazing person in this world

memekween: out of the goodness of my heart

memekween: but I don’t need this abuse smh

suga daddy: do you even realise what time it is?

memekween: yes

memekween: and?

suga daddy: it’s late and I’m busy

memekween: busy doing nothing?

suga daddy: exactly

memekween: ugh

memekween: I just wanted to know if you wanted to get some food

suga daddy: ah, so you just want to use my money for food

memekween: not exactly

memekween: who do you take me for? lmao

memekween: I also wanted to chat to my bestest friend in the whole wide world

memekween: cuz guess who got dumped today :DDD

memekween: hint – is ya girl

suga daddy: fuck

suga daddy: you ok?

memekween: yeah, I’m fine

memekween: kinda saw it coming, we weren’t working well

memekween: at least it was only a month together, you know?

memekween: could have been worse

memekween: it just sucks, I guess

memekween: I kinda liked him

suga daddy: my shoes are on

suga daddy: I assume you’re at home

suga daddy: get ready

memekween: thank youuuu

memekween: I love you

suga daddy: sure

memekween: take me somewhere fancy

suga daddy: I’m taking you to burger king

memekween: fine dining ( ͡°Ɛ ͡°) only the best from you

suga daddy: I really hate those faces

memekween: send one to me

memekween: experience the power of the lenny face meme

suga daddy: no

memekween: pleaseeeee??? I’m feeling sad rn…

suga daddy: ( ° ͜ʖ͡°)╭∩╮

memekween: a lenny face in true yoongi fashion

memekween: thank you

suga daddy: whatever, I’m leaving now

suga daddy: see you in a few

memekween: see you, yoongi

(Read 09:13pm)

You have received a message in the group chat

‘we dem boiiiizz’

21st May 2017

Jiminy Cricket: Hey guys! Do you guys wanna go bowling next weekend?

Jiminy Cricket: I just realised we haven’t done anything as a group in a while

Jiminy Cricket: I thought it would be a nice idea 😊

Hobo: Yeah, I’d be up for it!

Tea☕: Yeah, me too :D

Music Man: Sure

jinandjuice: This could be fun!

pepeswife: coolio, chimchim 😊

gramps: eh

jungcock: sounds cool, I’m in

gramps: ok I’m definitely not going now

Hobo: Me either bye I’m busy doing anything else that day

Tea☕: Same, I suddenly have plans

pepeswife: woops I’ve to water my bread, or smth of that nature

pepeswife: sorry, can’t make it

Music Man: LMAO

jinandjuice: Omg

jungcock: what? Wtf

Jiminy Cricket: C’mon guys…

pepeswife: I’m not going if junglebook is going

jungcock: wtf why? What the hell did I do??

gramps: you’re competitive as shit

pepeswife: yeah, and you always win

Tea☕: it’s not gonna be fun for the rest of us

jungcock: I can’t help it that I’m good at everything ‎😏

Hobo: I hate you

jungcock: fuck you too, neigh neigh

jinandjuice: stop fighting lol

Jiminy Cricket: Yeah! It’ll be fun, I promise! We can all team up against Jungkook!

jungcock: HEY

Tea☕: Now that is an idea I can get behind

jungcock: fuck you all

jungcock: I’m still gonna win

Music Man: What do we get if we win?

gramps: yeah what are the riches for the winners

Jiminy Cricket: Uh

Jiminy Cricket: Nothing?

pepeswife: now you see

pepeswife: that isn’t very enticing

Hobo: Yeah, you can do better than that

Music Man: Try again lol

Jiminy Cricket: Omg

Jiminy Cricket: Ok, we can all pitch in for pizza afterwards

jinandjuice: It’s not much of a prize if everyone has to pay for it

gramps: yeah, this isn’t convincing me

Jiminy Cricket: OMG I DON’T KNOW

Jiminy Cricket: I HAVEN’T ANY OTHER IDEAS

Tea☕: Let’s calm down now

jinandjuice: I have a coupon for a free burger at Burger King

jinandjuice: Winner gets that

gramps: sounds good enough

gramps: I like free food

jungcock: same

pepeswife: same

Music Man: cool with me

Hobo: same here

Tea☕: I’m ok with that

Jiminy Cricket: You people have very low standards

Hobo: Burger King is delicious

Music Man: Yeah, that isn’t low standards

pepeswife: yeah, Burger King is my jam

pepeswife: isn’t that right yoongi

gramps: you make me buy you some like every day

gramps: I’m broke because of you

pepeswife: excuse me

pepeswife: it isn’t every day

pepeswife: it’s like, every two days

jinandjuice: LOL

pepeswife: and forgive me for having expensive tastes

pepeswife: a girl likes to have the finer things in life

Jiminy Cricket: I wouldn’t class Burger King as one of the finer things in life

pepeswife: are you judging me and my poor life

Jiminy Cricket: Omg no!

Hobo: Smh you were Jimin

Hobo: Shame on you

Tea☕: Low blow, chimchim

Jiminy Cricket: OMG STOP

Jiminy Cricket: Are we going bowling next weekend or not??

pepeswife: I’m up for beating Jungkook

Hobo: Same!

Music Man: Me too

gramps: me too

jinandjuice: Let’s crush him

Tea☕: No mercy

jungcock: you’re all assholes

jinandjuice: Children shouldn’t swear

jinandjuice: I raised you better than this

jungcock: go fuck yourself

Music Man: Yoongi, stop teaching the baby how to curse

gramps: my bad

jungcock: I’m going to throw a bowling ball at each of your faces

Tea☕: Violent

pepeswife: the child has severe anger issues

jungcock: I’m going to bed

jungcock: bye

jungcock: I’ll be there next week to win

Hobo: And so the child rests

Jiminy Cricket: Ok! So it’s sorted!

Jiminy Cricket: I can’t wait!

Jiminy Cricket: I’m going to bed too, I’ll text you tomorrow!

Jiminy Cricket: Night!

Hobo: I’m gonna go to sleep too

Hobo: Early start tomorrow

Hobo: Night everyone :D

Music Man: I think we should all sleep, it’s late

Music Man: Night

pepeswife: night night <3

jinandjuice: Rest well everyone!

gramps: night

Tea☕: Sleep is for the weak

gramps: if you wake me up at 3am texting the groupchat

gramps: because you’re freaking out about aliens again

gramps: I will end your life

Tea☕: Gotta blast

Tea☕: Night ^^;

(Read 01:37am)

You have received a message

24th May 2017

memekween: well this date isn’t going well

memekween: sigh

memekween: he started talking about how much of

memekween: ‘a babe’

memekween: his ex was

suga daddy: wait

suga daddy: you’re on another date?

memekween: yeah

memekween: I thought I told you this?

memekween: oh wait maybe that was jin

suga daddy: oh

suga daddy: well thanks for telling me

memekween: lol I’m sorry yoongi

suga daddy: sure

memekween: ??

memekween: uh ok

memekween: what’s the mood about?

suga daddy: I’m not in a mood

suga daddy: also isn’t this like the 100th date this week

memekween: uh wtf? I’ve only been on 2 dates

memekween: sorry if I want to find the love of my life

memekween: wtf is wrong with you tonight?

suga daddy: there’s nothing wrong with me

suga daddy: you just go on a lot of dates

suga daddy: you should stop wasting your time

suga daddy: especially on guys like that

suga daddy: you can do better

memekween: oh, and I suppose you know what’s better

memekween: do you?

memekween: give me a break

memekween: at least I try

memekween: when’s the last time you’ve been on a date?

suga daddy: I haven’t been interested in anyone lately

memekween: you haven’t been interested in anyone

memekween: ever

memekween: I don’t understand why you’re judging me

suga daddy: whatever

suga daddy: you’re so blind

suga daddy: have fun on your ‘date’

memekween: wtf do you mean I’m blind?

memekween: yoongi?

memekween: hello???

memekween: wow

memekween: ok then

memekween: when you get your head out of your ass

memekween: you can talk to me again

(Read 08:07pm)

You have received a message in the group chat

‘we dem boiiiizz’

28th May 2017

Hobo: I can’t believe Jungkook actually won

Hobo: Again

Hobo: I trained for years

Hobo: Honing my bowling skills

Hobo: Learning and meditating with the masters of the bowl

Hobo: Only to be bested

Hobo: By a mere child

jungcock: I told you it was going to happen

jungcock: no one can beat me

jungcock: I’ll enjoy my whopper while washing it down with a nice cold glass

jungcock: of your tears

Tea☕: you’re like 5 how did you beat us

jungcock: because I have the strength of the gods

jinandjuice: And because he eats the vegetables I give him

jungcock: and because I eat the vegetables Jin gives me

pepeswife: do you lace those vegetables with steroids or something

jinandjuice: Just how mother made it

Tea☕: omfg...

Jiminy Cricket: Tonight was fun, though!

Jiminy Cricket: Did everyone enjoy themselves?

Hobo: Yeah, I had a great time!

jinandjuice: We haven’t hung out like that in a long time

jinandjuice: I’m glad we did

jungcock: yeah, it was really fun

Music Man: Y/N certainly enjoyed herself

pepeswife: excuse me, Namjoon?

pepeswife: I have no idea what you’re talking about

pepeswife: suddenly I can’t read

Music Man: Hmm, ok

Music Man: But you can flirt back with the worker at the bowling alley perfectly

Tea☕: Oh yeah!

Tea☕: You got quite cosy with them, didn’t you?

Tea☕: ; )))))

Music Man: Yeah, lol

Music Man: She barely focused on the game

pepeswife: listen

pepeswife: they were nice, I’ll admit

pepeswife: but I don’t know if it will go anywhere

Hobo: You never know!

Hobo: You got their number, didn’t you?

pepeswife: yeah…

Hobo: So go for it!

Tea☕: Yeah, they seem nice!

pepeswife: idk…

jungcock: if they ever give you hassle

jungcock: they’ll have to go through me

jinandjuice: no one will ever hurt my favourite child

Jiminy Cricket: Favourite child?!

jungcock: I thought I was your favourite

jinandjuice: I love you all equally

jinandjuice: but Y/N doesn’t give me pity laughs when I make jokes

Music Man: Are you sure about that?

pepeswife: i do nOT GIVE PITY LAUGHS

pepeswife: JIN IS HILARIOUS

jinandjuice: thank you Y/N :’)

Tea☕: ANYWAY

Tea☕: It wouldn’t be us doing the beating up

Tea☕: It would be Yoongi, tbh

Music Man: True, actually

Music Man: Speaking of

Music Man: He’s been quiet in the chat, and all night actually

Hobo: Yeah! Yoongi, man, where are you?

gramps: I’m here

Tea☕: You’re quiet tonight

gramps: don’t have much to say

jinandjuice: What’s wrong?

gramps: nothing

gramps: I’m just tired

jungcock: when aren’t you lol

Music Man: What did you think of the person Y/N was talking to

Music Man: Think you could take em in a fight if you had to?

gramps: I don’t care

gramps: she can do whatever the hell she wants

gramps: I’m not watching over her like shes some kid

gramps: it’s her problem if something happens

Hobo: …damn

Tea☕: Uh that was kinda cold Yoongi

Music Man: We were only joking

jinandjuice: Did something happen, guys?

jungcock: you’ve been acting weird all night

jungcock: moodier than usual

Jiminy Cricket: Guys…

gramps: nothing happened

gramps: I’m going to bed

gramps: night

Hobo: Yoongi?

jinandjuice: Y/N did something happen??

pepeswife: uh idk

pepeswife: I’m tired too tho

pepeswife: so I’m gonna sleep now

pepeswife: night

Tea☕: Y/N? Wth?

jungcock: Y/N?

Jiminy Cricket: Just drop it guys.

Jiminy Cricket: Maybe they just need space.

Music Man: But what happened?

Jiminy Cricket: I don’t know, but we should all sleep

Jiminy Cricket: All of us asking won’t help.

Tea☕: I guess you’re right.

Tea☕: I’m gonna sleep, so. Night everyone

jungcock: yeah, me too. hopefully everything is fine in the morning

jungcock: see ya

jinandjuice: I hope they’re ok…

Music Man: I’m sure they’ll tell us. We should sleep. Night guys

Hobo: Night, I’m leaving too

jinandjuice: Alright…night.

jinandjuice: I hope everything works out.

Jiminy Cricket: I’m sure it will. You know them

Jiminy Cricket: they never fight for long

jinandjuice: I hope you’re right. Night Jimin.

Jiminy Cricket: Night, hyung.

(Read 11:53pm)

You have received a message

28th May 2017

ChimChim: What happened?

Yoongs: nothing

Yoongs: like I said

ChimChim: I’m not stupid, Yoongi.

ChimChim: I knew there was something up

ChimChim: The two of you had been acting weird all night

ChimChim: You’d barely look at each other let alone talk

ChimChim: And when she started talking to that worker

ChimChim: You got even worse, and spent the night glaring at the poor dude

ChimChim: So I want you to stop avoiding the question, Yoongi.

Yoongs: Nothing

Yoongs: Happened

Yoongs: I was just in a mood

Yoongs: end of story

Yoongs: now leave me the fuck alone

ChimChim: Yoongi, it’s me

ChimChim: You know you can trust me

ChimChim: You don’t have to keep everything bottled up

ChimChim: What happened between you and Y/N?

ChimChim: Was it because you didn’t like the person she was talking to?

ChimChim: I know you’re protective of her

ChimChim: Do you think they wouldn’t be good enough for her?

Yoongs: see

Yoongs: that’s the fucking thing

Yoongs: no one is ever good enough for her

Yoongs: they never will be

Yoongs: because she deserves the world

Yoongs: and it fucking kills me to see her go on date after date

Yoongs: or go through relationship after relationship

Yoongs: knowing I’ll never be fucking one of them

ChimChim: I’m…

ChimChim: Yoongi…I didn’t realise you felt this way..

ChimChim: Do you...like her?

Yoongs: Of course I do

Yoongs: actually no

Yoongs: I don’t just ‘like her’

Yoongs: I love her

Yoongs: I fucking have since we were teenagers and

Yoongs: fuck

Yoongs: I hate everything so much

Yoongs: and idk if I can be her friend anymore

Yoongs: because I honestly feel like my heart is shattering into a million fucking pieces

Yoongs: every time she goes on dates

Yoongs: and not even just by that

Yoongs: every time she smiles, or laughs, I know I can never say that she’s mine

Yoongs: an I try to be a good friend for her

Yoongs: but every time I’m near her my heart beats like crazy

Yoongs: and I feel like a stupid kid

Yoongs: and I love every single bit about her

Yoongs: and I mean every single bit

Yoongs: with all my heart

Yoongs: but I know she’ll never be mine

Yoongs: and I honestly don’t know if I can go through it anymore

Yoongs: and I don’t care if I’m being selfish

Yoongs: I can’t live a life without her but I don’t want to live a life where I’m not hers

Yoongs: where she won’t love me back

(Read 12:03)

Yoongs: jimin

Yoongs: jimin where the fuck did you go

Yoongs: are you serious right now?

Yoongs: fucking hell

(Sent 12:10am)

ChimChim: I don’t think that’s your choice to make

Yoongs: what choice?

ChimChim: Her loving you.

ChimChim: You don’t know what her answer would be.

Yoongs: yes I do

Yoongs: she’d never be with me

Yoongs: we’re ‘just friends’ in her eyes

Yoongs: and it’s too late to be anything else

ChimChim: Y/N lives near you, doesn’t she?

Yoongs: what?

ChimChim: Y/N. She’s close by your apartment, isn’t she?

Yoongs: yeah, around 10 mins away

Yoongs: wtf

Yoongs: why?

Yoongs: you hardly want me to go over there and profess my love, do you?

Yoongs: cuz it’s not going to happen

ChimChim: No, you don’t have to do that.

ChimChim: You just have to be ready to answer the door in a few minutes.

Yoongs: wait what?

Yoongs: what the fuck?

Yoongs: Jimin wtf do you mean by that?

ChimChim: Goodnight, Yoongi.

ChimChim: And good luck.

Yoongs: jimin?

Yoongs: JIMIN??

Before Yoongi could barrage Jimin with more questions about his cryptic messages, a faint knocking sound could be heard from where Yoongi lay fuming on his bed.

His eyes widened, and he shot up straight in bed, staying silent. Maybe if he didn’t answer, they’d go away? Just when he thought he was in the clear, the knocking came again, this time stronger, and Yoongi gulped, standing up to drag his feet to the front door, opening it reluctantly.

He was greeted to the sight of you bent over and panting heavily, as if you had just sprinted here (you had), clutching your phone in your hand. You tilted your head up at the sound of his door creaking open, and you stared at him with wide eyes, as he did the same to you.

Regaining your breath, you straightened up and shuffled awkwardly on your feet.

“Can I…come in? I need to talk to you,” you whispered, and Yoongi’s heart dropped to his stomach. Was this where you were going to get rid of him from your life for good? He knows you haven’t been talking since your argument, and he knows he said he couldn’t be your friend anymore, but now when the situation was right in front of him, he was terrified. He couldn’t lose you.

He wordlessly stepped aside, keeping his gaze on his feet and allowed you step into his apartment. You headed straight towards the couch where you sunk down into the cushions and sighed; a long weary sigh being dragged out from the confines of your chest.

Yoongi sat down hesitantly next to you, and then all was silent as you both struggled to think of something to say.

After what he figured was at least 5 minutes of dead quiet in the dark living room, you broke the silence. He heard you take a deep breath, and you shifted to face him on the couch, but he refused to gaze back at you.

“Yoongi,” you called, but he still did not raise his gaze, instead focusing his attention on his dirty, beat up sneakers with a scowl plastered on his face.

“Yoongi,” you tried again, but this time, you placed your hand under his chin and forced his gaze on you. And when he looked into your eyes; so wide and so warm and so beautiful, Yoongi broke.

“I love you, and I don’t know how the handle that,” he whispered, and flushed pink at his admission. “I know you don’t like me back, and that’s ok, but it isn’t because I love you so much and it hurts so much when you’re with someone else because I would kill for it to be me but it never will be and, fuck, I get so mad but I’m more sad and you drive me crazy-“

You effectively cut off his ramblings, by sealing your lips over Yoongi’s, and he became rigid under your touch. What? Was this actually happening? Are you sure? Are you really kissing him?

But then he felt the warmth of your hand move to cup his face, and he realised: yes, this was actually happening. Yes, you’re kissing him. And yes, this is the best thing he’s ever felt in his whole entire life.

He reciprocated the kiss as soon as he regained his sense, and pressed his lips to yours in a hard, bruising kiss, but one that was sweet and lovely and amazing and he wanted more. He saw stars as you slanted your lips over his, moving softly against his chapped ones, and Yoongi brought shaking hands to rest on your waist, clutching you tight.

But the need to breathe soon became a problem, and you broke apart, panting and never tearing your gaze off one another.

“You are such an idiot,” you laughed, and he tilted his head in confusion. “I’ve been in love with you since the first day I met you, Min Yoongi. I always have been, and I always will be.”

His heart sped up as he heard those words, and his jaw nearly dropped, but then he remembered: “What about all the dates, and relationships? Why didn’t you say anything?”

You ducked your head, giving an awkward laugh, “ah, those. Those were to help me get over you, since I thought you didn’t like me back. They never worked, though.”

He raised a brow.

“Now who’s the idiot,” he asked, and yelped when you slapped his chest. “I’ve been in love with you since you bumped into me in school and I had to help you pick up your books.”

“We’re BOTH idiots,” you said. And as you stared at each other, you both burst into full blown laughter at your ridiculousness, smiling wide and tugging each other closer. When the laughter died down, you held Yoongi’s face in your hands, and he nearly melted.

“I love you, Min Yoongi,” you whispered, and he gave the goofiest grin; a grin brimming with adoration.

“And I love you, Y/N,” he replied, and leaned in to steal another kiss.

-

“So, did Jimin tell you?”

“He actually took a screenshot of your conversation and sent it to me.”

“God damn it, Jimin.”

[empressdrega27]

The Dragon and the Pharaoh

WOOO! And so it begins~

@claustro-phobic-turtle @dem-obscure-imagines

Enjoy!

Chapter One: Stolen Property

 Elizabeth snarled. A low raspy sound that came from deep in her chest. It was a quirk of hers, that snarl. She only did it when she was royally pissed about something. And at the moment, she had a really good reason to be royally pissed.

Drega (that was her code name) wasn’t the most popular girl on the Young Justice roster, and when she was officially inducted into the honest to goodness Justice League, her popularity plummeted even lower. It was Stargirl and Batgirl mostly. For some reason, they despised her. They never gave her an explanation why, but they made sure she knew how much they hated her.

This was the first time they’d stolen from her though.

It had been a book. A book of ancient dragon spells, and most importantly, it had been a gift from a dear friend. Elizabeth’s predecessor, Konnex, the former king of Arkaydia. It was a beautiful book, bound in black leather with a special lock on the front. Only someone with the skill to use the spells inside, could open the book and read it. Not to mention that the whole book was written in Draconic.

So why would someone steal a book they couldn’t read?

Because they were petty, idiotic children. That’s why.

And it wasn’t even that they had stolen the book that made Elizabeth so angry, it was the fact that they had somehow convinced Zatanna to help them. Stargirl, Batgirl, and their following of moronic, braindead ditzes had stolen the book and told Zatanna that they were holding an ‘interdimensional scavenger hunt’ with Elizabeth. They assured Zatanna that Elizabeth knew all about this and of course she’ll be fine with it! It was her idea after all!

So Zatanna opened a portal to a random dimension and dropped the book right into it.

As she recalled the memory, Elizabeth’s snarl developed into a full on growl. Her fangs were poking out and her ears were lowered close to her head. Who was it that had taught Zatanna how to open a portal in the first place?! Elizabeth. Who had searched endlessly for a way to free Zatanna’s father?! Elizabeth! And who made sure that Zatanna had a someone to talk to and train with?! ELIZABETH.

She wanted to scream. How could she?! Zatanna knew what those girls were like and she still helped them!

Elizabeth stopped and took a deep breath. She had to calm down. There was nothing to be gained from loosing her temper.

Elizabeth was the protector of the Multiverse, so she was able to find where her “friends” had sent the book. The portal had opened into,

a museum?

Strange.

There were some info slips on a desk nearby.

‘The American Museum of Natural History’

Okay, now that Elizabeth knew where she was, it was just a matter of finding the book. She took out a crystal and said a quick divining spell. The crystal flew out until there was no slack on it’s string and started pulling Elizabeth towards her stolen property. It was only a matter of time before she reached her destination.

The artifact restoration room.

Elizabeth tried the door. It was locked. Of course it was. This was a large institution with thousands of valuable artifacts. Unfortunately, no lock could stop Elizabeth. With a flick of her wrist the lock clicked and the door opened. She walked into the large room and eased herself between the tables of artifacts.

No, no, no, AH HA! There it was! Elizabeth gently picked up the book and checked it over for any damage. It was just as she last saw it, well, maybe a bit cleaner.

The historians who were studying the book had made notes. Elizabeth picked them up and read through them quickly. They had made very little progress determining anything besides how old the book was. The historian’s note also said that they had received the book three days ago. Ah. That meant that this dimension’s time flow was faster than hers. It also seemed that this world was a few years behind. While it was 2016 in her world, it was 2006 here. No matter. It wasn’t like she’d be spending a lot of time here.

Now that she had her book, it was time to go. Elizabeth destroyed the notes and placed a memory fog charm on the room, so that who ever knew about the book would walk into the room and forget all about it. As she started to walk out, she felt bad. All these people were working hard to decode this mysterious artifact, and now it was gone and they wouldn’t even remember. Elizabeth couldn’t just leave without leaving something in return. After all, they took excellent care of her book for her. So she wandered about, looking at various artifacts and items, until she came to a large stone slab. It just happened to be written in a dialect of Inca that she understood. So, she wrote a key and aged the paper so it looked like something someone had missed. Now they’d have no trouble decoding this dialect again!

Feeling quite proud of herself, Elizabeth started making her way to the exit. However, she had neglected to watch the time. She had entered the museum just after it had closed, and that had been an hour ago. Suddenly, Elizabeth felt a great surge of magic, and then all the exhibits came to life. She was stunned. She’d seen animation magic before, but never on this scale. It was remarkable.

There was just one problem. None of the exhibits had ever seen anything like her either. There was no way of knowing how they’d react. It seemed that Elizabeth’s only option was to take the back way. So she placed her book into her bag and started carefully making her way out. She was doing fine until she heard hooves. She looked around and saw that there were stairs leading to the second floor, just to her right. Elizabeth had no choice, she had to go up those stairs.

With a powerful jump she cleared the railing and trotted briskly into the adjacent wing. (It should be noted that Drega’s idea of going up stairs, is jumping high enough to sail over the railing, avoiding the stairs altogether)

She continued on and found herself in the Egyptian wing of the museum. It would’ve been a pleasant surprise, if not for the sudden cacophonous wailing that filled the air. Elizabeth didn’t hesitate and bolted toward the source of the sound. Her somewhat shocking appearance aside, someone was in danger and she was going to save them damn it!

She raced along the corridors, the wailing getting louder by the minute, until she came to the source. In the wall was a huge hall, leading to a temple-like area. And at the end of this temple was a sarcophagus.

The wailing was coming from inside it.

Elizabeth froze. She’d seen living mummies before. They weren’t pretty. Or nice. OR ANYTHING REMOTELY GOOD. AT ALL. The sarcophagus was locked, she could see that from where she was standing. That would lead one to believe that whatever was in there, was supposed to stay in there. She started to back away, but the wailing became worse. Who or whatever was in that box was supremely unhappy with their current situation, and Elizabeth couldn’t just leave them there.

The shear amount of desperation in their voice.......

It was heartbreaking.

There was no doubt in her mind anymore that this was no unstoppable force of evil. It was a person, trapped, and alone,and they needed her help.

Elizabeth charged forward, ignoring the giant Anubis statues, and lifted the stone slab off of the sarcophagus as if it weighed nothing. Then she extended her index finger’s claw and cut the locks and pins off. As soon as the last pin was released, the lid of the sarcophagus flew into the wall and slid to the ground with a thud.

A figure wrapped in linen sat up slowly and looked around. Elizabeth jumped back, into the shadows, and waited. She could now tell that the figure was male, based on his smell and his body shape.

The man stood up and stepped out of the box. He started unwrapping the bandages covering his face. When he finished, he coughed and a large cloud of dust was expelled from his mouth. Just how long had he been in there? He looked directly at her and said,

“You would not believe how stuffy it is in there”.

Elizabeth blinked and then snorted a bit.

This caught the attention of the man. He smiled brightly. All he could see of his rescuer was a pair of glowing silver eyes with vertical pupils. He was curious.

“I have been trapped in there for quite a while. I would very much like to see who rescued me.”

Elizabeth shifted uncomfortably.

“I, uh. I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

The man tilted his head and inquired, “Why not?”

Elizabeth sighed and explained, “Most people that haven’t met me before, have a, um, strong reaction to me”.

“What kind of reaction?”

“Screaming, gasps of shock and dismay, fainting. That sort of thing”.

He looked surprised for a moment before smiling gently and saying,

“Perhaps you have not met the right people yet. I can promise you with absolute certainty that I will not scream, faint, or gasp in dismay at your appearance. It’s the least I can do”.

He seemed so sincere. And he did have a right to see who let him out......

“Okay”, Elizabeth conceded.

She carefully walked into the light and stopped in front of him. She braced herself for the gasp or the screaming, but it never came. He smiled. A massive grin in fact.

“There. That wasn’t so hard now was it?”, he asked.

“You....You’re not afraid of me? How?”

“You haven’t given me any reason to be afraid of you. So I don’t see any reason why should be”.

Elizabeth was stunned. Everyone she’d ever met had been at least a little scared the first time they saw her, but not him.

“Ah, how rude of me. I haven’t introduced myself. I am Ahkmenrah, fourth king of the fourth king, ruler of the land of my fathers. Might I have the honor of knowing the name of my rescuer?”

Elizabeth smiled a bit and replied with an equal amount of gusto,

“I am the mighty Drega! Protector of the weak, and defender of the innocent. But that’s just the name I use when I’m doin my job. My real name is Elizabeth.”

Ahkmenrah bowed lowly and replied,

“Mighty Drega, protector of the weak, defender of the innocent, I thank you for freeing me! In return for your valor, I offer you anything you desire”, He gestured around the room, “Choose, and it shall be yours”.

She looked around and answered,

“It’s all beautiful, but there’s nothing here that I want.”

Ahkmenrah’s smile faltered and he insisted, “Surely there is something you want. I must reward you. I have been trapped in that, that, prison, for so long. I thought I’d never escape. Please, isn’t there anything, anything at all, that you would like?”

Elizabeth thought for a moment. She thought about her so called friends and how she got to this place. It occurred to her that she did want something, though, she didn’t know if Ahkmenrah would be willing to part with it.

“I want you to be my friend. I’ve never met someone who didn’t flinch at the sight of me, or who didn’t look ready to run away from me. I understand if you don’t want to.”

Ahkmenrah looked up at Elizabeth and said

“That is something you need not ask for. I was your friend the moment you freed me Drega.”

She beamed, “Thank you, Ahkmenrah. Oh, and you can call me Elizabeth. I told you that’s what my friends call me.”

“You are most welcome. And you may call me Ahk or Ahkmen. That’s what my friends and family used to call me.”

“Ahk it is then! Now, would you mind telling me more about all of this?”, Elizabeth gestured to the museum.

“Absolutely, my friend.”

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It had been four days since Elizabeth had freed Ahkmenrah from his sarcophagus. She had come to visit him everyday after, and he had quickly become her best friend. And she, his.

They had decided early on to keep their respective existence a secret from the other inhabitants, particularly after an incident the day after where the new night guard and Theodore Roosevelt came to Ahk’s tomb. The former president had taunted the pharaoh. Not that he knew that the wailing was simply a voice recording designed to keep people away.

Elizabeth had made herself and Ahk invisible to everyone in the museum, just in case, and after that, she was glad she did. She was appalled by their behavior. Ahk was touched that she was so offended on his behalf, but he assured her that he forgave them. He knew their reasons and he understood, he didn’t like them, but he understood.

Ahk had been astonished at Elizabeth’s skill in magic. The first time she made comfortable chairs appear out if thin air, he couldn’t stop talking about it. He asked her questions endlessly, and asked her to do more. She obliged him, and he was certain he’d never tire of seeing her do such incredible things.

She was happy to do it of course. He was so fascinated by it, how could she refuse? It was nice to be able to be herself completely, magic, fangs, and all.

Now, Elizabeth was returning to the museum, but when she got there, she knew something was wrong. She was a bit late, so she expected Ahk to be thrashing and wanting to be let out, but there was nothing. The whole museum was silent. Elizabeth had thought about opening the sarcophagus, but Ahk had made her promise to never open it during the day.

She understood why. But that still didn’t change the fact that something was wrong! She decided to check the tablet instead, only to find that it wasn’t there. Well that explained it. If the tablet was missing, then naturally, the exhibits would be dormant. Ahk included.

Fortunately, Elizabeth had spent enough time near the tablet that she could feel it’s magic, and from what she could feel, it was still in the building. It must be turned off. Rather than blindly charging to the tablet’s location, she used a special magic ability: farsight. With it, she could see across long distances, but only if she knew exactly what she was looking for.

She followed the signal, and she could see the tablet, and all of the people in the room. There were three old men, the new night guard, and Elizabeth presumed, the night guard’s son. The boy had the tablet, and his father was trying to get him to turn the middle piece. The old men were trash talking the guard.

Oh, now Elizabeth recognized those men. They were the old night guards. The ones who caused Ahk so much pain. Her eyes narrowed, and a low growl escaped her throat. Those men would pay for what they’ve done, but for now the tablet was the first priority.

“Turn the piece. Do it.”, Elizabeth mumbled.

The boy looked scared, but determined. He looked at his dad and then at the tablet. Then he turned the piece.

“Smart boy”, Elizabeth exclaimed.

She turned and picked the stone slab off the box. Ahk sat up and looked around.

“Something’s wrong”, he said.

Elizabeth leaned the slab against the wall and replied, “Ya got that right. The tablet’s been stolen”.

Ahk’s head jerked up, “Stolen?! By whom?”

Elizabeth snarled and replied lowly, “Guess”.

For a moment Ahk’s face was passive, until it clicked in his head.

“My former jailers I presume”.

“Yep.”, suddenly Elizabeth heard people approaching, “Quick! Someone’s coming!”

The two hid and Elizabeth saw the guard’s son run into the tomb. He had the tablet, but not for long. The leader of the old guards grabbed it and pushed him into the tomb. The boy’s father appeared and tried to stop them, but the old geezer with the bad attitude punched him and threw him in the tomb as well. They took the guard’s keys and locked them in.

Ahk looked at Elizabeth and whispered, “What shall we do? Those awful men have my tablet. Ra only knows what they’ll do with it.”

“We need to go after them. It’s the only way.”

Ahk’s eyes widened, “Elizabeth, if you’re seen by anyone.......”

She sighed, “I know. But it’s my job to protect people, and that includes you and this museum.”

“You’re right. But first, we should introduce ourselves to our friends.”

“No. First you should save them from the jackals~”, Elizabeth grinned.

Ahk looked and sure enough, the jackals were about to shish-kebab the guard and his son. Ahk stood and calmly commanded the jackals to back off. The guard and his son turned around.

“Uh, Hi! Thanks for um, doing that.”, the guard said.

Ahk smiled and replied, “No problem. We haven’t been introduced. I am Ahkmenrah, fourth king of the fourth king, ruler of the land of my fathers.”

Elizabeth (who had turned herself invisible) rolled her eyes. He really did introduce himself like that to everyone. When the guard, Larry was his name, tried to do an equally impressive intro of himself, Elizabeth was having an extremely difficult time trying not to laugh.

“Anyways, how did you, um, get out? Last I checked you were still”, Larry pointed to the sarcophagus, “In there.”

“Actually, I’ve been released since you started working here”.

“What?!”, Larry exclaimed, “Who let you out?!”

Ahk smirked and looked at Elizabeth.

“A box of junior mints says they gasp”.

Elizabeth grinned and said, “I say Larry will, but Nicky won’t”.

“You’re on”.

Elizabeth lowered the invisiblity spell. Larry made an inhuman squeak in the back of his throat, but Nicky didn’t gasp at all.

“Cool!”, Nicky yelled, looking up at the winged creature.

After a few more introductions, and breaking the door (”You could have just unlocked it” “I know, but it was more fun to destroy it~”), the strange group was on their way!

They found the museum in utter chaos.

The Huns appeared and as it happened, Ahk could speak Hun. Cool. Then they released Sacagawea, who Teddy Roosevelt was in love with. Neat. Then to the miniatures who were fighting, like the rest of the museum. Larry tried to get everyone’s attention, but it was no use.

Elizabeth, being tired of the situation, roared at them. Some people fell down. The civil war dudes were shivering.

“Serves you right!”, Elizabeth yelled, “This man is trying to help you and all you wanna do is fight, fight, FIGHT! If we don’t get the tablet back NOW, everyone in this museum will CEASE TO EXIST. So listen up.” Elizabeth looked at Larry, “Go ahead.”

Larry explained the plan, and everyone got to work. Using farsight, Elizabeth could estimate the general area that each old man was in. Soon, two were down.

One to go.

They went outside, and Sac tracked Cecil. (They found out all their names from Larry) Suddenly, Elizabeth heard hoofbeats, lots of them.

“Cecil has the stagecoach!”, Elizabeth roared.

But by the time anyone heard her, Teddy was half the man he used to be. He had saved Sac at least. But now what to do? They still had to catch up with Cecil and the stagecoach. Larry had a plan, it was crazy, but it just might work.

Larry borrowed Teddy’s horse Texas, and Nicky and Ahk rode Rexy, the living T-Rex skeleton. (Elizabeth had nearly lost her mind when she saw him. “HE’S SO ADORABLE. AHK LOOK AT HIS WITTLE FACE~” “Little?!)

Elizabeth, meanwhile, was flying after them. Her wings were too large for her to fly right beside the stage, but Elizabeth could divebomb Cecil if all was lost. Yes, Elizabeth was crazy enough to dive into the stagecoach to stop it.

Thankfully, that wasn’t necessary. The tablet was returned to it’s rightful owner, and all the exhibits were on their way back to the museum. When they got back Ahk helped Larry count all the exhibits and make sure they were all there. Eventually, he took a break and pulled Elizabeth aside.

“Thank you, for helping us get the tablet back.”

“It was my pleasure.”

Ahk frowned, “I suppose this is it then. Now that everyone knows about you, you’ll erase their memories and leave”.

Elizabeth was shocked.

“Where on Earth did you get that idea? I’m not going anywhere.”

“You mean, You’ll stay? Even though the whole museum knows about you?”

Elizabeth smirked, “Someone’s gotta keep you outta trouble”.

Ahk couldn’t help himself, he rushed forward and gave Elizabeth the biggest hug he could. Surprised by the sudden hug, Elizabeth made a very odd noise, and proceeded hug Ahk back and blush madly.

Ahk thought that the noise was adorable, that she was adorable. He didn’t want to let go of her. She didn’t wanna let go either, but they had too. As they made their way back inside to clean up the museum, Ahk knew one thing for certain: he was madly in love with his best friend. Now if only she would feel the same way. No. She was a being of extraordinary power and grace, a goddess, and he was a dead man with nothing to offer, or so he thought.

Elizabeth was also experiencing a moment of clarity, but she was not happy about it. She didn’t want to be in love damn it! She’d had her heart broken so many times.....

No. Ahk wasn’t like them. He was better than that, but he’d never feel that way about her.

Or would he?

The End

For now~

[punkscowardschampions]

Rio & Indie

Rio: Are you sitting comfortably? Rio: Because I have POTENTIAL GOOD NEWS FOR ONCE Indie: im cotched baby ✌✌ come thru Indie: whats good? Rio: I found a place Rio: well, Buster did but 'low letting him get all the credit Rio: The lady just rang and said I can go see it at 4 Indie: IS IT??? omf dats so sick Indie: who did mckenna have to mesh like? Indie: bring me w i can leave school rn Rio: Yeah, I know right Rio: Jammy sod but we're well in with a chance as long as it's not like, nothing like the pics Rio: it's a bit outta the 24 but still only a bus ride in so Rio: [Sends said pics] What you think girl?! Indie: hes gon be flexin for days b ready for that 😂😏😂 Indie: bitch we movin up Indie: that place is bare hectic Indie: like a real madness Indie: 😍😍😍😍💖💖👑👑 Rio: 😏 Nothing out the ordinary then Rio: Yeah? I really like it too Rio: I'll swing by, say you've got dentist, whatever Rio: One of the rooms got an en-suite and everything like, no queues for the bathroom what Indie: this got me some type of way Indie: im hyped Indie: they gon let me keep 🐶 w us tho?? Rio: It didn't say nah so we're keeping it quiet but not not bringing him obvs Rio: keep up his training it ain't gonna be an issue, like Indie: BITCH WHAT IS THIS FEELIN Indie: tryna recognise it Indie: buzzin Rio: 🙌🙌🙌 Rio: I got a good feeling about it, it's near St Stephen's green like so Bomber can have walks and not have to worry about glass and shit everywhere Indie: bout to happy cry all up in this lesso Indie: n Indie: i can take my younger w too Rio: I love you babe Rio: it's gon' be so much better and Drew ain't got no claims or no key this time Rio: exactly, Ro be way more hyped letting her in these ends Indie: how this real?? it feels jokes Indie: heads are 👀ing me & i aint care Indie: ya girl havin some emotions step off it Rio: That's what I kept saying man Rio: like such an idiot like what, is this real life, nah, not me 😂 Rio: serious, they ain't know we living the good life, gotta go Indie: ITS HOW YOUR MANS BE LIVIN 💸💸💸 Indie: imma lips him Indie: soz bout it Rio: 😂 I'll let you live, you highkey in your emotions Rio: 'bout him though Rio: you're okay if he wanna live there too, when he comes for Uni? Rio: He doesn't have to, not like they don't have a house, not that far away, like Indie: babe you kno i aint tryna borrow your garms big love but like daddy delivers in all them ways and aint none of us vexiin Indie: he gotta respect my 🐶 mans but if they bros then yeah Rio: Yeah? Rio: Good Rio: we can do it on our own regardless but it'll be easier if he twos it Rio: and obvs, I want him there, ew 😜 Indie: imagine if you be like nah mckenna pay dem bills & dont be comin round 😂😂😂 Indie: its chill fr he aint no wasteman i be tryna avoid Indie: he havin his daddy moment Rio: Ain't tryna be that kinda daddy like soz taking away all dem perks Rio: Rude 😂 Rio: He loves you too, babe Indie: ri we all been knew what kinda wifey you gon b 😂😏😏😂 Indie: he comes for my gaming shit he getting merked tho keep that discipline fo yoself in your bed Rio: Hush child 🤐😏 Rio: Double hush, I don't even know if he 'bout that life so you safe Rio: though challenge him at ur own risk I ain't being part of that 🙄 Indie: thats how it gon b i 👀 Indie: i got a serious q but i aint tryna bring the mood ⬇ Rio: Seen not heard, with you? Doubt that 😉 Rio: go for it Indie: drew cant stop me innit Indie: like for real Rio: I don't see how, like Rio: who's he going to to 'fight' for you Rio: where's his case for us not looking after you/him ever doing it Indie: ✌✌✌✌✌ Indie: he probs not even gon show but Indie: he always coming to take me from home wen i was lil u kno Rio: I know baby Rio: but he never could keep you Rio: and lbr you gonna be actual grown soon, he really ain't got a leg to stand on, I promise, even if he comes through chattin' Indie: i love you Indie: more than Rio: I love you too, it's gonna be so legit, promise Rio: all the shit we liked from our old, but better too Indie: true man we did the most but that yard was clapped Indie: it was a time & imma miss it but this b a better one Indie: a fucking extra hype era or some shit Rio: 👑 Rio: that's the vibe Rio: can bring the 24 realness with without the bullshit, yeah Indie: innit tho Indie: lowkey repin for all my years but Indie: bitch im 🔥🔥⬆⬆ Rio: We should celebrate 'fore we go Rio: also you need diff garms 'cos not showing up with you in uniform like I'm your single muvva Rio: giving the game away shh Indie: lets break into our former & give it the send off it shoulda had Indie: ruuuude Indie: you is my ma deal w that Indie: still sexy w it so Rio: nah shadier to let him keep it Rio: welcome for the glo up boy Rio: 💋 i'll take it Indie: 😂😂😂😂 Indie: im only vexed cos he aint had my baby sis there but you kno he bringin them other young girls back how he do Indie: waste Rio: 😬 Rio: too real Rio: too gross Rio: does anyone know if he's tried to talk to ro or they have orrrr Rio: like what's going on fr Indie: she blockin hardcore Indie: she dont want him near but from what i 👀 & 👂 he aint tryna reach anyway Rio: 😒 Rio: even if he did just to say i know u don't want me here but if u do Rio: bare minimum Rio: whatever Rio: their drama, not ours Rio: we gettin' good Indie: fr if he aint tryna see her i is Indie: she got real fam Indie: & me too Indie: we all good Rio: mhmm Rio: him doing his part on him Rio: we all doing ours Rio: she's cute then, yeah? Indie: o you aint seen Indie: my bad Indie: u wanna? Rio: nah not yet, like it weren't explicitly stated but Rio: we know she don't want me near either Indie: i got you Indie: ill bring her to you mama Indie: my girls can meet Rio: Are you sure? Rio: idk if she letting her out of her sight like that yet Indie: its chill man Indie: if step ma be startin i got the other to back me Rio: We'll sort that Saturday yeah Rio: can't be giving her the cribs exclusive or the estate agent will be coming at me with catchment areas fr Indie: 😂😂😂 Indie: boo how we celebratin Indie: mckenna aint here thats dry Indie: boy earned his place Rio: I know 😕 Rio: we go out and do it again when he is Rio: we keep it lowkey for now, get some food 'forehand 'cos know you ravenous Rio: then if we fucking with it we can get something extra that we gon' need Indie: truuuuuuu Indie: yeah girl this is beast Indie: im so about it Rio: It's a new block so if we get it we can be in there like, straight away Rio: no one has to move out, it ain't trashed Rio: 😍 Indie: safe Indie: can i roll out the school gates now cos ☁ 9 mood Indie: floating like Rio: I'm omw to pick you but lemme call 'em and you can roll out and meet me somewhere else 'cos I'm still like 15mins away Indie: 😍😍😍😍 Indie: I'll be boardin & 🚬 catch me wen Rio: 👍 Indie: here i be thinkin my day was bare decent cos a lad chirpsin me in the science lab Indie: naaaaaah bitch Rio: Ooh Rio: 'bout it tho Rio: made School worth attending Indie: innit he just rolled up Indie: new boy vibes Rio: 😍 Rio: literally never happened when i was here so rude Rio: known everyone from day 1, blessin' n curse Rio: gimme deets as they come in tho Indie: ikr but its bare long in the year to be criss and showin face 1st time Indie: suspect Rio: wys Rio: he a 30 spy pretending to be a kid orr Indie: idk Indie: but if he a fed he looking fresh on it Rio: 😂 Rio: Mystery, love that Rio: only one way to find out Indie: but like Indie: can i? Rio: Why not? Indie: u kno Rio: Yeah Rio: Take everything at your pace, however that be Rio: this is just chatting we talking about, you good Indie: yeah i can trust innit Indie: bills is right not all lads be like Rio: yeah, if he get it twisted off a convo then he the thirsty cringe one Rio: give it a shot Indie: he so lush lookin tho 😍😍😍 i been knew i said this afore but actual Indie: 👼🏿 Rio: so 'bout that Rio: defs why you wanted to bounce tho Rio: not want me 👀 like the nosy ma I is 😉 Indie: nah dont want him spying you cos you 🔥😍👑 Rio: 😏 gas up your old woman Rio: never gon' say no Indie: you kno its the mood of the century Indie: mckenna beggin for you still Rio: Hope so Rio: need that rent boy Indie: can always shot the 💍 baby Indie: 💎💎💸💸💸💸 Rio: 😭 Rio: Baby no Indie: jam babe i got jokes Indie: we playin Rio: I can't Rio: if he bounce I gonna just wear it forever Rio: awkward for him, soz Indie: 😂😂😂 Indie: he too cuffed to run now Rio: Thanks Ann Summer Indie: i aint never been there Indie: soz bout it Indie: sure she a real one Rio: it's a bit retro these days but you know Rio: not missing much babe Indie: 👌👌 Indie: all lube & lace yeah? Rio: 😂 in a word Indie: no catch me rollin up then i aint need none Rio: okay babe Rio: lemme know if you need anything though, I got you Indie: you wild Indie: what you think i need ma? Rio: well idk Rio: not gonna give you ideas you ain't have but s'a whole world beyond ann and her rabbit Indie: 😂😂😂 Indie: you always tryna get me riding batteries Rio: i am not 😂 make me sound like such a wrongen Rio: tryna make sure u know what u want Indie: we been knew i dont Indie: going for those wronguns myself Rio: gotta explore babygirl Indie: 😒🤔 Rio: Not now, like Rio: we busy bitches Indie: catch me on the street bein indecent hold up Rio: 😏 behave Rio: got mark on your name as is Indie: what you sayin bout Rio: that police always after you without that madness Indie: keepin things fresh for the jakes and the rollers least Indie: they welcome Rio: miss me with that underage bait gurl 😏 Indie: 👌👌👌👌 Indie: 👵 Rio: 😡 cheeky bitch Indie: 💋 Indie: big love baby Rio: I see u Rio: get in 'fore I give you a love tap, like Indie: keep it peaceful Indie: ✌✌ Rio: 💋

[autumnpawtribe]

Complications Part 2

"An abused shell of a woman who has no fire in her belly anymore."

Through the link, Vol called out, the anger in his voice dripping with nothing but pure hatred.  "Janaret, stay with the children.  Xiao Chun, I don't care if you have to ride the loa damn Jade serpent.  Get to the waterfall in the next ten minutes or I will murder someone.".

"Let's ride to the waterfall, hmm.  Little quieter and we won't have to worry about guiding raptors.  Uba can rest her weary bones.   It's a spring, and she likes a good swim."

Xiao nearly recoiled as he felt the anger. "Did... Did I do something?" He asked nervously through the link, though Vol could tell he was already on his way to his cloud serpent.

"he was going to put Tarja in a box and let her starve to death.". He left it at that, the cold calculation of a former killer seeping into his thoughts.

Xiao's end went silent now, as if he was simply unable to react. All Vol would know is he was on the way.

It was in silence that Naddja and Vol'raka came to the spring.  He took the tack off the raptors, letting them play as he rolled up his pants and waded in the water.  His hair was braided and the end was whisked away a bit, floating and bobbing in the water.  Naddja slipped in and shifted to a shark, chasing but not eating any of the koi that Vol had let grow in the pond.  Koi were not good eating in her mind.  The hunter sat on a flat Rock, sunning himself and just waiting as the Raptari came out.  She shifted and sat on a nearby rock, holding her knees.  "One day, I hope you will understand and maybe forgive me?"

Shortly after they arrived, Xiao came barreling in at incredible speeds, almost crashing into a tree as he pushed his cloud serpent to top speeds at much tax to the serpent's fatigue. Xiao hopped off and rolled onto the ground, his eyes narrows as his serpent flew off to lose speed as to not crash. Xiao looked between them. "I... believe a conversation needs to be had?" He said quietly, his voice neutral but cautious.

"Conversation....?  You told him?  With that collar thing?!"

She was raging mad, looking at both with betrayal then fury....  Then guilt and defeat.  "No lies in the Autumnpaw house.  Even of omission."

Vol switched to orcish, kicking a leaf in the water with a toe.  "Ah keep nuthin’ from mah mates.  Dey gonna be mah husbands soon enough.  He only know bout da box."

Xiao nodded lightly. "We are open and honest. We hide nothing from each other. He did not tell it, it is your story to tell. He simply told me... enough for me to know how quickly to get here. So... talk to me?" He asked quietly, almost pained at what he knew already.

Naddja sighed, flopped down and whined, quite like her brother, who was being very good and not having an attack.  He was nervous and let that be well known, Vol would give him mouth presents later that night.  His love’s sister was his concern now.

"Ask and I will answer, just....  Let's get it over with."

Xiao shook his head, sitting across from her crossed legged and looking at her eye level, letting her know he was listening and interested in what she had to say. "Tell me whatever you think I should know... or what you told Vol, if that's easier? We are risking our lives by helping you, as well as Tarja’s. We do it willingly, but... give me something? I can't understand why you're still there... and what goes on. Just talk to me? You should know from the night in Kun-Lai, I don't judge. I just want to know."

"Da short version, Naddja."

"Aret is supposed to be married soon, Father doesn't know he's gay, they are looking for a mate for our twelve year old sister, my husband got rid of his last mate for infertility and is trying to cover it up with me doing what I had to do.  This baby is his cousin's.  And...  He told me if I didn't get rid of Tarja, that he would put her in a box and starve her, letting me hear her cry as she died.  He thinks I smashed her head after I gave birth."

It was like verbal vomit, but it was out there.

Vol turned to his mate, Amber boring into Jade, closing the connection to Aret for a moment. "Either you propose to him tonight or I will.  Not giving that asshat father of theirs a damn excuse".

Xiao listened silently, remaining still as stone. Finally be leaned forward and pulled Naddja gently into a hug. "I am sorry you had to go through all of that..." He murmured with his face beside hers, expression hidden from her. While his voice was understanding, his expression was ice cold as he reached out to Vol's mind and Vol's mind only. "I will take care of it. He will not be breathing by the time the sun rises. That's... That's a monster, Vol. I am doing the world a service. You distract the family, keep Aret, Naddja, and the kids occupied and I will make this a non-issue."

"Leave after supper.  Easier to say you had shit to do.  You get the husband, the father is mine.  Do not judge me for what I will do and I will not judge for what you must, my love.  Bring me the heart, all I ask.".

Naddja noticed the silence and sat up, after having hugged the Pandaren tightly.  "You were a hunter of mons once, Vol'raka.  Can you find Zakin's father?  If he is alive?"

"Mebe.  Where ja an Aket stay?"

"Zanchul, why?"

"Wanna know where ta stay away from ef gotta go Zandalar ta find out tings."

"why would you have to go to Zandalar?  You told Aret take a long leave, and told us to stay here."

Vol smiled, weakly and with no guilt for his actions.  "Ah be a bounty hunter when ja met me, Naddja.  Ah still got friends an contacts what good at watchin.  No harm come from dem en da watchin'."  He let Xiao hear in his head: "It comes from when I put a pointy object through their flesh."  "Et bettah fer mah family ef ah keep tabs on mah enemies.  Ah had em watchin Ja fatha an' dat peice of trash what dey call ja mon.  Ah talk ta em, make sure dey not huntin' an' scratchin' at mah tree.  Ah not take kindly ta dem what invade mah territory.  Dis place be mine ta protect, mah family be en et.  Ah gonna forgive ja what ja done, eventually.  Howevah, ja not goin' back ta dat waste of aiah an ja gonna find a mon ta love ef ja wanna have babies.  Et not stipulations, et be tings ja have ta do ta live an find ja love.  None of dis arranged marriage shit, hmm?"

Naddja nodded and then moved forward to give Vol a hug, which caught him very off guard.  He may have 'laid' with her once but the hug was awkward. "Thank you.  I am alright with not being forced to bed men to find a suitable father.  I would like very much to not have to do so and find love."  She smiled, sensing the awkwardness and pulling away.  "I see how much you and Xiao love each other and how much you love my brother.  I would like to find that deep of a love too."

Xiao smiled at the interaction, though he was more preoccupied with the plans he was crafting in his mind. He reached out to Vol alone again, speaking to him with his thoughts. "It may be better to go together for both, though..." He paused a bit. "I just do not think we should go alone, in case something happens, but my technique is not something you could follow me in. Perhaps you can wait outside and I can show you through the link what I am doing? That way if something happens, you can burst inside to help me. I'm not sure, I... I just do not like the idea of us going alone for something like this."

"I'll go, if anything because I speak Zandali and I wanna hear those fucker's dyin' words."

Vol turned his attention back to Naddja, nodding.  "One day ja get et.  Mebe ja stumble 'pon et, mebe et stumble on ja.  Fer now, et gettin' late an Ja an Xiao gonna make suppah.  Ja take da cloud serpent wit Xiao, ef dat ok, lovah.  Ah take Uba an Disi back on foot, hmm?"  Vol gave Xiao a look at the pandaren that he knew the monk would get as 'because reasons'.

Naddja nodded, slipping up and having absolutely no clue what the pair had planned.  "It wil be done by the time you are home.  Promise.  Thank you, Vol'raka."

"She may not thank us in the morning, or she may..."

Xiao nodded and climbed onto his serpent again, offering Naddja a hand to climb aboard. "You are alright with waiting outside? Like I said, you... will not be able to follow my same path." He asked through the link as they began to fly back.

"My Love, we will discuss it when we are on our way.  Right now.  Feed our loved ones, Once the deed is done, I will do as I will do.  You will not judge me for the sin I will commit?  To my people it is not, to yours, it is."

Xiao nearly scoffed both audibly through the link. "Sin? No, Vol'raka. The sin is his own. Us removing him from this world? It is a SERVICE, a charitable act to all of creation." He nearly growled, the Pandaren speaking in a cold tone Vol would not recognize.

Vol took Disi's bridle in hand and took off on Uba, not taking his time, but not racing back either.  He gathered Valor, leaving Uba and Disi with the females in the flock.  Valor was younger and faster.  "Xiao Chun...  What do trolls do to their enemies…?"  He was just as cold, disassociating from what he would do, what he had done in the past.

Xiao gave pause, curious. "What, are you going to eat him...?

"Yes."

He was mounted on Valor and heading back as he responded.  "I will gift our daughter his tusks as a present on her mating day when she is old enough."

"Why exactly are you going to eat him? I would burn him and then throw his ashes into the sea or... off a cliff or... maybe feed them to something to be 'rebirthed' another way. I would not deem him fit for even eating." He didn't exactly seem opposed so much as not understanding why he was even worth it.

"Because I serve Bwonsamdi and I haven't given him a gift in a VERY long time.  Oh trust me, why do you think I went and got Valor.  Honor is coming too.  I went for peace when I took you to mate and love, and I stand by that.  However, I will make sure the mon who would threaten our baby will suffer."  Vol rode Valor, bareback and bridle-less to the house, speeding up to get home faster.  "The heart is mine.  The tusks are Tarja's, the rest is raptor shit."

"So you plan on eating his heart, saving the tusks for Tarja, and letting Honor and Valor eat the rest?" He gave pause, considering. "What... are you going to tell Tarja? When she is of age, I mean."

"I will not lie to her."  He was silent for a bit in his mind, but seemingly a bit grumpy as he hit the stables and asked a pir of humans who helped out to get Valor and Honor ready to go fight.  "She deserves to know the truth."

"... How MUCH truth? You told me she would never know Naddja's real identity. How much can you tell her about Aket without implicating Naddja?"

"Shit's changed.  You, me and Aret will discuss it, after this shit show is over.  She is not to be called her mother.  That I am hard lining."

Xiao let out a heavy sigh both in reality and through the link. "Alright... we are going to have to have Aret distract Naddja and the kids while we get ready. If she sees me leaving in my full garb, she will wonder. I suppose we can always sneak out the back or I can bring the change of clothes with me, though it is quite a lot to carry in a bag."

"We're sneaking, He will know, she cannot until all is said and done.  He can protect our family. Are you landed yet?"

Xiao let the scent of dinner come through the link. "Dinner is already cooking. I kept it simple so it would be fast. We are going to tell Aret?"

Vol walked into the house, looking all the smiles, calling out for Aret in Zandali.  "Aret, sweetheart.  Can you come to our room?"  He switched to pandaren, trying to get his mouth around his words.  "Xiao Chun, grabbing shower!"

The prelate came when called, Vol hearing Tarja making noises in her hammock in the kitchen.  "Did you need my help...?"

Vol pulled the Zandalari close and kissed his nose.  He lead the man up the stairs, hand in hand as he opened the link wide.  "Xiao and I need to talk to you, sweetheart."  Aret looked at Vol as he was led to the bedroom, and was led to the bathroom.  "Aret, you need to stay in the house tonight and guard Naddja and the kids.  If we are not back by tomorrow night...  Xiao where can they go?"

The prelate looked up at the Darkspear, confused.  "what?"

[famehunting]

Topic of Impeachment

*Fair warning… LONG post ahead! Thank you so much for reading if you choose to*

I’ve seen a few Nonnies ask you, Effie, about if 45 is outright trying to get impeached, so I figured I’d throw my 2 cents in since I’m in the mood at the moment to make a political post. That will likely change in 2 hours or so. LOL 

In general, no I don’t think he is outright trying to get impeached. I did think of that early on (how scary is it that 3 months is so long to us now that the first month was ‘early on’??), and yeah I leaned toward ‘that monster is going to get bored soon and then he’ll accept impeachment as a 'bow out’’… but then it occurred to me that impeachment is firing, and I temporarily forgot that this is the man who literally patented the phrase 'you’re fired’. Yeah i forgot for a moment… this buffoon wasn’t even on my radar before last year. Obviously I knew about him, but I didn’t pay attention to him until he was about to run for POTUS. 

It certainly SEEMS like the actions of someone trying to get fired from their job, for sure. But nope, I think this is just an unhinged NPD/psychopath who has the literal keys to the world. He is 'playing’, this is all one big wargame to him and the country is just another company he can fleece before he bankrupts it. That is what is so scary about this… he is dead serious, even though to us, it seems he can’t possibly be. 

So what are the options moving forward, in my humble opinion? Well, as I said before, i believe, without a shadow of a doubt, that the GOP establishment saw that this was a populist election, and if Bernie had gotten the Dem nom, we would likely be looking at a whole different world. But he didn’t, Hillary did (more on her below), and the GOP got Trump. It was pretty easy to see from there the plan… let 45 get the 'win’ (whether it was straight up Electoral College win or the Russians literally won it for us, or something else) and let him 'hang’ himself while promoting the GOP agenda. When it became too much to sustain, he is either impeached or even assassinated, Pence/Ryan take over, GOP is happy as Nazi-clams in a fascist stew.

Problem is, the GOP isn’t too bright. Paul Ryan is considered the 'intellectual’ of the bunch. That’s a lot of stupid in one party. 

So what happens when you impeach Donald J Trump? YOU ARE FIRING HIM. That radioactive Cheeto is NOT going down in history as being fired from being the POTUS, I believe that 100%. I could of course be wrong, but this is just my personal opinion. He will burn the world to the ground before he gets fired. So in that case, the GOP has a really pissed off honey badger and there isn’t a leash strong enough for that monster. That will be when shit gets REALLY dangerous, and that COULD be where we’re heading. I don’t remember how impeachment all works, I was a teen during Bill Clinton’s proceedings, but 45 would still be POTUS when he found out he is being impeached. BOOM. There goes the world. 

I lean towards either he gets assassinated, or he stays in. The first option, well we’ll see, if that happens, again… Pence/Ryan, Nazi clams and fascist stew and we all only have our hands to eat it with. 

So, the other option is he stays in… a simple, yet also more complicated, scenerio. The groundwork for that is already being laid, in my opinion. These firings left and right? All people who either stood up to him or failed to properly defend him. There are plenty of 'Brownshirts’ (not to be confused with Browncoats b/c Goddamit we are ALL Mal and Zoe in this scenerio!!) to fill most of those positions. 

BUT… we are looking at the 'he stays in’ option from the point of view of our current government structure. Don’t forget… Jared Kushner, the son-in-law, has been given a 'new division’ and tasked with 'redesigning the entire American government’. I know, he’s also tasked with bringing peace to the Middle East and ending world poverty, LOL. But he actually CAN restructure our entire government. In fact, I expect it happen if 45 sticks around past this first year.

So keep in mind…. impeachment means firing, and 45 just is not going to go down in history as being fired from being POTUS. Nope, no way, no how. He could get taken out, might happen. But more likely, again in my humble opinion, the entire government could get restructured, and 45 will let his kids run it while he golfs and does whatever the hell it is he does.

As an aside, on the topic of Hillary…. first, I do feel bad for her, she almost became the first woman POTUS and I think that has been her lifelong dream. The DNC really fucked up though, if they had gone with a Bernie/Warren ticket, we would have a whole different outcome.

But, my sister has worked for the Intelligence community for about 15 years; first while in the Navy, then as a civilian FOR the Navy, then the Air Force, and then for private companies (I think). To be honest, I have NO idea what she does exactly, or who she actually works for, now. She’s deep in, my ex-husband and I used to joke that she was the non-CIA version of Carrie Matheson (Claire Danes’ character in Homeland). Hell, for all I know she IS in the CIA, but I don’t think so. I think she’s with some private contractor now. Maybe sometimes works with Navy, since that was her start in Intelligence. I don’t know how all that works. 

So she was 'plugged in’ you could say while Hillary was Sec of State. She says that Hillary is NOT the monster she was made out to be. Her foreign policy is not very good, according to my sister, no details, but she would have had better experts to help her with that as POTUS. That was kind of my sister’s whole view on Hillary– shitty at foreign policy, but would have been a very good POTUS. My sister said Obama was similar– he was a good POTUS to work under after dealing with Bush/Cheney; she worked intelligence under Bush too, and she was literally suicidal b/c of the things she encountered, if that gives you any clue– all I know for sure is she was going to be sent to Gitmo to help develop the psy-torture program, and that’s when she wanted to killed herself and was given a med discharge from the Navy for some weird knee problem, but still got employed FOR the Navy as a civilian afterward, but not at Gitmo. Obama had his flaws, usually relating to be TOO easy on some foreign nations that he should have taken a harder line with. But in general, a good POTUS who tried very hard to do the right thing in a difficult world. She feels Hillary would have been the same. 

My sister’s biggest problem with Obama and Clinton were the proxy wars, but she said that has also been par for the course for the US for decades and it would take a serious overhaul to have stopped that. That doesn’t make it right, it’s actually disgusting, but she also said they were up against well entrenched policies and that without a complete overhaul (in a good way, not in 45’s planned way) of US policy, that wouldn’t have ended soon no matter who got in. I don’t know a whole hell of a lot about what my sister knows, mainly because we don’t see each other in person due to distance and yes, her every communication is monitored. She has promised though that when we are little old ladies on a rocking chair on the porch, she will spill ALL she knows. I cannot wait for that day, b/c my God has she been in the thick of it.

Effie, I’m sorry for the length of this submit, but if you publish it, I thank you, and to anyone who has read this far of my humble ramblings, i thank you too. Stay strong, watch each other’s backs, and maybe I’ll see you at the gates of the WH when we go to pull these fuckers from power. If it comes to that. Which I think it will. 

Now… I’m going to cuddle with my cats and look at pretty Loki!Tom and Adam!Tom pics. Love you all!

~Alice (currently hiding from the world in her mirror)

…

I’m mostly going to let this submission stand on its own, but I appreciate the fairhanded look at the Hillary-Bernie thing in particular.

I don’t think Vongo von Fucko is smart enough to get himself impeached to save himself, or will quit, or any of that. I think he’s narcissistic enough and demented enough and selfish enough to genuinely think he’s the victim here and also the powerful one. I think he thinks he’s been untouchable, it’s everyone else around him that’s the fuckup.

[uk-news-talking-politics]

Election 2017: What's going on with the Remain vote?

The dynamic of the general election seems to reflect a country which is passionately and uniformly pro-Leave. The Tories are riding high, bolstered by incorporating the Ukip vote. The Lib Dem surge seems non existent. If you looked at the polls you'd wonder if Remainers ceased to exist. Some have over-eagerly done precisely that and claimed we're all Leavers now.

It is false, of course. In fact, opinions on whether leaving the EU is right or wrong are still pretty much exactly where they were when we voted. Some find a Remain majority - like in these recent Mirror and Times polls - while most find support pretty much exactly where it was last June. What's more, it doesn't look like it's going away as an issue any time soon. The divide over Brexit is generational.

Half the country think it's right to leave and half think it isn't. But there is a split in the Remain camp. Recent polling from YouGov confirms a consistent trend. Half of Remainers want to fight and stop Brexit, half think the government has a duty to deliver on the result. This split in Remain has been there pretty much throughout the post-referendum period. It's nothing new.

The Tory surge cannot be explained by Brexit. It is predominantly a result of Jeremy Corbyn's total absence, providing voters with no other potential leader except the prime minister. But if you strip all that away and view the election only through a Brexit lense, the YouGov poll tells an interesting story.

The Tories keep their Leave voters, gain the Ukip Leave voters and keep most of their Remain voters, who typically and begrudgingly think the government must deliver on the result and that if it is to do so it'd better be Theresa May in there negotiating rather than Corbyn. Then the other parties divide up the rest. In a first-past-the-post system this type of scenario - with no competition for a bigger market and heavy competition for a smaller one - will provide a landslide. As You Gov puts it, "the Conservatives are fishing in a massive lake, while the other parties are casting their rods into a pond". The only part I take issue with is the idea that the Labour position can be comprehended at all in any direction - whether Leave or Remain - but the basic argument is right.

In terms of the general election result, this will probably deliver a crushing Leaver victory. But it's a very far cry from thinking that 'we're all Leavers now'. As depressing as this period is, there is still all to play for. It's just that you have to play the long game.

The post-referendum battle over Brexit could never get any purchase before negotiations started, which is partly why Theresa May opted to hold a general election now and dispel any hope of democratic involvement in the process once it got underway.

According to the current timetable, Britain will leave the EU in March 2019. This period will be defined by chaos, retreat, humiliation and gradually worsening living standards. There is no evidence the British government has understood the scale of the task ahead of it, the consequences of failure or the severity of the time frame in which it is operating. It is likely going to get beaten around on the world stage. May might find it more personally beneficial to wrap herself in the flag, like some pound-shop Boudicca, and storm out of talks, rather than lose the Ukip support she has regained by making the compromises necessary to secure a transitional deal. If she does go for a no-deal option, it will be one of the most damaging economic decisions ever made by a British prime minister.

In the battering which follows, government ministers and the Brexit-supporting press will try to blame the EU leaders for 'punishing' us. They're already at it. But the resilience of the Brexit divide suggests that they will not find it easy to convince Remain voters of their argument, regardless of whether they had accepted the result or not.

If some sort of transitional deal is struck, the timescale for fighting about and challenging Brexit extends. The EU will probably offer a three-year transition. During that period all of our practical arrangements are likely to remain exactly the same or very similar. The UK would continue to act like an EU country in everything but name. It would probably have the same regulations and regulators and laws and rights and freedoms. It would still, in all likelihood, be subject to the European Court of Justice. In this scenario the economic ill-effects of Brexit would be less severe, but they would still be there. If Britain changed it's mind on Brexit sometime during transition - say in 2021 - it could be done with a minimum of fuss. The only challenge would be political, not technical. Remainers would therefore have five years to make their case. That's a long time with plenty of potential to change the political weather.

The polling status quo - of a firm Leave vote and a divided Remain vote - is the result of a phoney war. Brexit simply hasn't started. We used to say that it wouldn't start until Article 50 was triggered, but we hadn't quite counted on having a prime minister so irresponsible she would trigger it and then hold a general election. Regardless, on June 9th the phoney war finally comes to an end and negotiations start. Then the cold, hard thump of reality will hit our hermetically-sealed domestic debate. If it's a no-deal Brexit, the reality will be brutal and short. If it's a deal Brexit, it will be unpleasant and long. Either way, it will shift the terms of the conversation.

Ultimately, two things will be required for substantial change in the way the debate is conducted. Firstly, the economic ill-effects. We are already seeing this. Wages are not keeping pace with inflation. A consumer spending boom based on private credit is drying up. Recruitment is stalling. It would be much better if this were not happening, but it is happening and it is important to say why.

The second is a competent leader of the opposition. We urgently need someone to outline why the effects are linked to Brexit, so that the government cannot claim they are the result of nasty EU leaders. It does not really matter whether that opposition leader accepts Brexit as an ultimate end point or not. They can be on whatever side of that Remainer divide they like. If Brexit becomes very unpopular, they will adapt their position to that new reality anyway, as Theresa May has from Remain to Leave. What matters is that they hold the government to account, day after day after day, on the negotiations themselves. They connect the blame to the Brexiters rather than the Europeans.

This is not just important as a strategy to stop or reverse Brexit, and still less as a way of Remainers getting to say they were right all along. It is important because the Conservatives are fanning the flames of populist nationalism while simultaneously pursuing a grotesquely incompetent strategy. They make the situation worse while cultivating an angry, paranoid political culture. It's what comes after that which should really trouble us. These are the historical conditions which could give rise to a British Trump.

We are not all Leavers now. We are as split as we ever were, but the election has been specifically timed so as to minimise the extent to which that is recognised in the formation of government. The task for Remainers is not about the next few weeks. It is about the next few years.

This is a difficult time. The Remain cause was struggling and is now further undermined by the election. The jubilant celebration of Hard Leavers after the results come through will be quite irritating. But the core dynamic is the same as it ever was. The end goal of Brexit is a foolish one and it is being pursued ineptly. There is a large market of British voters who are already of this persuasion and a long period of time in which to convince them to oppose, rather than tolerate, it.

The Remain vote won't be split forever. As the Brexit promise turns to ash, they should position themselves to harness the disillusionment which follows.

Ian Dunt is the editor of Politics.co.uk. His book - Brexit: What The Hell Happens Now? - is available now from Canbury Press.

[oselatra]

What to expect from the 92nd Arkansas General Assembly

Tax cuts for the richest Arkansans top the agenda for the ledge.

On Jan. 14, the Arkansas legislature convened for the 2019 regular session, state government's brief spasm of lawmaking, budget-making, wheeling and dealing.

November's blue wave sloshed its way into many statehouses — Democrats gained over 300 state legislative seats across the country in the midterms, including 14 in Texas — but it left Arkansas virtually untouched. The party's pickup of two hard-fought House seats in Northwest Arkansas was offset by the loss of two rural districts in the eastern part of the state. The GOP continues to hold supermajorities in both the Senate (26 out of 35 seats) and the House of Representatives (76 out of 100 seats) — the same ratios as in the 2017 session.

In short, Republicans can pretty much do whatever they want.

Which is what, exactly? Governor Hutchinson has promised "one of the most historic and transformative sessions of the General Assembly that I know we've seen in my lifetime, if not longer," as he modestly phrased it at an event hosted by the Associated Press and the Arkansas Press Association on Jan. 11. The governor has identified four priorities for 2019. They're significant, if not exactly soul-stirring: big tax cuts, a modest teacher pay hike, government reorganization and a plan to pay for roads and highways. As of mid-January, the first three seemed destined for passage. Transportation funding remained the big unknown.

But that's just the tip of the iceberg. Worse and wilder stuff is yet to come, along with a few positive initiatives that might actually have a shot.

Expect conservatives to try to restrict access to abortion even further, especially in light of the new makeup of the U.S. Supreme Court. Though voters approved an increase to the state minimum wage in November, one legislator, Sen. Bob Ballinger (R-Berryville), is already trying to undo it for certain workers. If past sessions are any indication, enterprising lawmakers will aim darts at groups like undocumented immigrants or LGBTQ people. The legislature may try again on referring a so-called tort reform measure to voters, which would limit damages that may be awarded in a civil lawsuit. (Up to three constitutional amendments can be referred to voters for the 2020 ballot.)

Legislators have promised a bipartisan ethics package, given the corruption scandals that have recently ensnared several of their colleagues; Senate President Pro Tempore Jim Hendren (R-Gravette) says "restoring trust in the institution" is his top priority. Hutchinson has asked for juvenile justice reform, including a bill that would require courts to use a "risk assessment tool" that should reduce the number of kids Arkansas locks away for criminal offenses.

More will emerge in the coming weeks — much more. In the meantime, here's what we know is on the menu:

Taxes: The rich get richer

The governor's proposed personal income tax cut would likely be phased in over a three-year period and would reduce state revenue by at least $192 million when fully implemented. The majority of benefits would accrue to the richest Arkansans, with the state's top marginal rate declining from 6.9 percent to 5.9 percent. (Update: On Jan. 30, the governor unveiled a revised plan that would reduce the top marginal rate from 6.9 percent to 5.9 percent but leave other personal income tax brackets unchanged. The revised plan was expected to cost the state $97 million.)

An analysis made by the Institute on Taxation and Economic Policy found the top 1 percent of earners in the state — a group making over $436,000 annually — would reap 46 percent of the total tax cut, or an average windfall of $8,128 per taxpayer. The middle 20 percent of earners — those making $36,000 to $55,000 annually — would see an average cut of $52.

The analysis also found the plan would actually raise taxes by a total of $33 million on some 200,000 Arkansans with low-to-middle incomes, due to the way it simplifies and flattens the rate structure. After the Arkansas Democrat-Gazette reported that fact in January, the governor said he wanted a fix to ensure no taxpayers would see a tax increase. Hendren, who is also the governor's nephew, said in January he thought the bill would "be determined in the first month of the session."

Whatever the final plan, there's little doubt Republicans will rally around it. Bruno Showers, a senior policy analyst with Arkansas Advocates for Children and Families, said the tax cut "would make things more regressive" by shifting more of the cost of state government from the rich to the poor and middle class. Hutchinson previously championed $150 million in personal income tax cuts for low-to-middle income earners (those earning under $75,000) in 2015 and 2017. However, Showers said, such cuts tend to be of little help for poor families because those households pay most of their taxes in the form of sales and excise taxes, not income taxes.

To truly benefit lower-income households, Showers said, the legislature should pass an earned income tax credit. Rep. Charles Blake (D-Little Rock), the House minority leader, said Democrats will forward a tax package centered on a state-level EITC, as in past sessions. "I can't sit here and say we're going to oppose the governor's tax bill, but we want people to see [the proposals] side by side," Blake said.

The personal income tax cut for the rich may be just the beginning. Republicans also hope to pass various corporate income tax cuts that would slice hundreds of millions more from the state budget, offset slightly by a new sales tax on online purchases. The net cost of all these changes, including the personal income tax cut, would be about $400 million over an eight-year period; Hendren, who chaired the task force that produced the plan, has said the state can afford it.

Others disagree. "If you're going to cut taxes that much, you have to either cut services or raise taxes elsewhere," Showers said. "There's less money to go to quality education, infrastructure, public safety, just basic things. Those are things that businesses care about, so if we're not investing in those things ... that could harm economic development."

Education: More for teachers. But less for schools?

Rep. Bruce Cozart (R-Hot Springs), the chairman of the House Education Committee, has introduced a bill that enacts the governor's proposal to raise the minimum salary schedule for teachers statewide. Over a four-year period, beginning this fall, the minimum amount a school district could pay a first-year teacher with a bachelor's degree would rise from the current $31,800 to $36,000. Minimum pay for a new teacher with a master's degree would rise from $36,450 to $40,650.

The current schedule also dictates minimum salaries for each subsequent year of experience up to 15, and the raise would apply to each. The estimated cost to the state would be an additional $60 million. (Legislators raised the minimum salary schedule in 2017, but only by $400 over the next two school years.)

Does that mean every Arkansas teacher would get more money? Not quite. Though state law designates a floor, many school districts have higher starting pay. New teachers in Springdale last year earned $47,266, which is higher than the state's minimum for a 15-year-veteran with a B.A. even at year four of Cozart's proposal ($42,750). Out of 206 school districts listed in a 2018 report by the Bureau of Legislative Research, 61 already paid new teachers $36,000 or more.

Still, thousands of teachers could see a raise if the bill passes. Republicans might be loathe to admit it, but the proposed increase may partly be a proactive response to the massive teacher walkouts in other red states last year over stagnant school funding. In Oklahoma, where budget deficits (fueled by tax cuts) led to many districts instituting four-day school weeks, protesting educators won a raise of about $6,000. Arkansas lawmakers may want to take steps to keep such unrest at bay.

But public school advocates have more to worry about this session. In 2017, the legislature narrowly rejected a bill by Rep. Jim Dotson (R-Bentonville) to establish a pilot "education savings account" program, a voucher-like scheme that would have diverted tax money from public schools to be used for private school tuition and other purposes. Dotson has indicated he'll introduce legislation in 2019 to achieve similar aims.

The governor supports such so-called "school choice" legislation, though he said it should be "small-scale" and target low-income families. "I don't believe choice options undermines [traditional public education]," Hutchinson said in January. "I think it actually strengthens it, makes it better."

Democrats can be expected to oppose vouchers, but so will some Republicans, due in part to influential public school groups like the superintendents association. Dems have also said they'll push for additional investments in pre-K. Rep. Megan Godfrey (D-Springdale), a public school teacher who defeated a Republican incumbent last fall, said in January she was hopeful Democrats could work with the governor on such issues. "I know my Republican colleagues can agree that every child in Arkansas deserves to go to pre-K," Godfrey said.

Medicaid: Accepting the

inevitable

The annual Medicaid budget has been the source of endless drama in recent years, thanks to a small group of Republicans seeking to end Arkansas Works, the state's name for Medicaid expansion. The program, which is funded by the Affordable Care Act, provides health insurance for some 230,000 low-income Arkansans.

The governor's decision to keep Medicaid expansion intact has led to repeated clashes with conservative legislators opposed to "Obamacare." Year after year, a bloc of hardliners has held up passage of the entire state Medicaid budget. Those wanting to roll back expansion have always been in the minority, but they were able to block the annual appropriation because spending bills typically require a three-fourths supermajority in both chambers. Nonetheless, the standoffs have always ended the same way: After multiple votes and intense political pressure, a few conservatives defect to the "Yes" camp and the bill squeaks its way to passage.

Last year's fiscal session lacked the typical fireworks. The Medicaid appropriation passed the House and Senate on the first try by safe margins. The hardliners came around in part because the governor had just announced the state's receipt of permission from the Trump administration to implement a first-of-its-kind work requirement for some Arkansas Works recipients.

The work rule went into effect June 1. Seven months later, about 18,000 people had been kicked off Arkansas Works because of the requirement and tens of thousands more had been pared from the rolls for other reasons such as harsher administrative policies. (A strong economy has also helped, the governor argues.)

Most health policy advocates say the work requirement is a disaster for the working poor. But the reduced enrollment figures will probably soothe opponents of Medicaid expansion and ease its reapproval this year. Also, divisions within the Republican caucus appear less pronounced than in previous years, with the Capitol's more rebellious conservatives now marginalized, co-opted or defeated by primary opponents.

"I don't see a controversy over Arkansas Works," Hutchinson said in January. "I think it's settled in to our health care system."

However, a lawsuit seeking an end to the Arkansas work requirement is before a federal judge who struck down a similar rule in Kentucky last year. If the court invalidates the work rule in the next two months, might the legislature try to end the entire program?

Hendren said no. Members "know the turmoil that would throw our budget into and the turmoil it would throw the lives of over a quarter-million people in Arkansas into if we were to make such a dramatic change based on a court ruling," he said. "I may be wrong ... [but] I don't see a lot of appetite out there to start playing shutdown politics over budgets."

Roads: Desperately seeking a free lunch

States everywhere have struggled with transportation funding shortfalls for the same reason: Increased vehicle efficiency means drivers, on average, pay less today in fuel taxes for every mile of road traveled than they did a few decades ago. That, plus a shortage of federal funds and increased maintenance costs, has left gaping holes in both budgets and roads. Arkansas transportation officials have recently said they need between $300 million and $478 million more in annual revenue.

The real problem is that too many legislators are afraid of the most obvious solution, which is to raise taxes on gas and diesel. Rather than raise taxes themselves, lawmakers may instead refer an initiative to the 2020 ballot — though asking voters for more money directly is always a tough sell, and a failed election would make it even harder politically to tackle the problem afterward.

"Everybody wants the ice cream but nobody wants to get fat," Hendren said. "It's one thing to go to the ribbon-cutting of roads opening and highways being renovated. It's another thing to vote for the revenue to make that happen."

That means legislators will be tempted by a third option, which is to filch money from other places in the state budget. House Speaker Matthew Shepherd (R-El Dorado) said in January that he prefers "trying to look internally first at what revenue might be available" before seeking new revenue.

In 2016, the governor diverted general revenue and surplus funds to access federal matching grants then available for roads. His spokesman, J.R. Davis, said in January that was "a good short-term fix, but now we need a long-term fix." Hutchinson opposes dipping further into general revenue, Davis said.

Because highway funding has divided Republicans in past sessions, Democrats could have rare leverage on the issue. Rep. David Whitaker (D-Fayetteville), who sits on the House Transportation Committee, said there's a broad consensus within his party that "some kind of tax revenue enhancement is going to be necessary" and noted that "there are members of the Republican caucus who see eye to eye with us."

Whitaker said he felt voters would approve a revenue increase in 2020 if it was presented to them candidly. "My experience in Arkansas is that every time the government has honestly gone to people and said, 'This is what this is going to pay for' and provided specifics ... they vote yes," he said.

Transformation: Shuffling the deep state

The governor is fond of noting that his "transformation" proposal would be the first major reorganization of state government agencies since 1973, under Democrat Dale Bumpers. About 20 years ago, Republican Mike Huckabee attempted a large-scale reorganization but failed to convince the legislature to go along with his plan. Hutchinson has a better chance at success, given that his party has an iron grip on the Capitol. (Both chambers were firmly controlled by Democrats during the Huckabee era.)

Hutchinson proposes assigning most state agencies, boards and commissions to 15 umbrella Cabinet-level departments that would report to the governor, as opposed to 42 today. Among the myriad changes: The Department of Correction (state prisons) and the Department of Community Correction (probation and parole) would merge into one. So would the Department of Parks and Tourism and the Department of Arkansas Heritage. The departments of Education (K-12 schools) and Higher Education would also become a single department, though state colleges and universities would remain independent. A new Department of Commerce would include functions such as insurance regulation, economic development and workforce services. A new Department of Public Safety would group together the State Police, the Department of Emergency Management and much more.

Janine Parry, a political science professor at the University of Arkansas, said successful reorganizations of state government often coincide with big partisan shifts of the kind that's occurred in Arkansas over the past decade. The new party in power "wants to put their own stamp on government," she said. Arkansas has also been undergoing a "wave of institutional reforms" since around 2000, Parry said, from attempts to standardize the structure of local courts and end partisan judicial elections to increases in pay for elected officials. "Essentially, it all amounts to professionalization of our institutions," Parry said. Many other states undertook such reforms decades ago.

It's another question entirely whether a reorganization proposal is actually beneficial. The governor has said his plan will meet certain objectives, like "improving transparency and access." But, Parry said, "those are buzzwords. How do you measure that? I don't know. ... The devil's in the details."

Sponsors of the legislation say they expect the omnibus transformation bill to be around 1,500 pages. That's an awful lot of devils to keep an eye on. 

What to expect from the 92nd Arkansas General Assembly

[bountyofbeads]

End of Government Shutdown May Depend on the Definition of Trump’s (STUPID) ‘Wall’ https://nyti.ms/2RpxwCN

End of Government Shutdown May Depend on the Definition of ‘Trump's (STUPID) Wall’

#Trump #MAGA #TrumpChristmasShutdown #TrumpShutdown

By Emily Cochrane and Jennifer Medina | Dec. 26, 2018 | New York Times | Posted December 27, 2018 |

WASHINGTON — With a partial government shutdown stretching past Day 5, the impasse over funding a wall at the southwestern border has highlighted the debate over effective border security, with a breakthrough possibly hinging on a semantic argument: What is a wall?

Lawmakers will return to Capitol Hill on Thursday to resume negotiations over either a stopgap spending bill to reopen nine federal departments and several government agencies or broader measures to fund the government through September. But the White House and Democrats remain at odds over the $5 billion that President Trump is demanding for a wall, his signature campaign promise.

Representative Steve Scalise of Louisiana, the majority whip, told House members on Wednesday that no votes were expected on Thursday. That signaled that the shutdown would almost certainly stretch through the weekend — and probably into the new year. More than likely, it will fall to House Democrats to pass legislation reopening the government when they take control on Jan. 3.

The president told reporters on Wednesday that he would do “whatever it takes” to ensure funding was provided for the wall he once bragged Mexico would pay for.

“We need a wall,” Mr. Trump said during a visit to American troops in Iraq. “We need safety for our country. Even from this standpoint.”

Representative Nancy Pelosi of California, the Democratic leader who is expected to be elected speaker next week, told USA Today: “He says, ‘We’re going to build a wall with cement, and Mexico’s going to pay for it’ while he’s already backed off of the cement. Now he’s down to, I think, a beaded curtain or something. I’m not sure where he is.”

Democrats say they have little reason to negotiate. The administration has spent only 6 percent of the $1.7 billion allocated during the 2017 and 2018 fiscal years for physical barriers on the border, they said. About $1.3 billion was designated in 2018 for different types of fencing in areas that would have covered about 96 miles, but rising costs have shaved off 12 miles.

With so little spent, Democrats argue, Congress has no business more than doubling this year’s allocation. But a Republican aide said that all but $70 million of the money allocated in 2018 had been committed to border security projects.

Mr. Trump and his conservative allies are trying to paint their opponents as unwilling to invest in border security, while Democrats are working to draw a distinction between the current showdown and past border fights, when Congress approved billions of dollars in funding for hundreds of miles of fencing, barriers, drones and other measures to impede illegal immigration.

A wall “would be spending an enormous amount of money that would not achieve the taxpayers’ goal,” said Robert Menendez, Democrat of New Jersey and one of eight senators who negotiated a bipartisan immigration overhaul that passed the Senate in 2013.

“There is not a one-size-fits-all solution — a wall, slats, whatever — and nobody who has ever looked at this question has said that that is the solution,” he added.

While a final decision has not been made, Ms. Pelosi will most likely seek a swift vote on the legislation the House spurned before funding lapsed: the Senate’s stopgap spending bill would provide funding through Feb. 8, according to a House Democratic aide familiar with the negotiations.

Because next month will herald a new Congress, the Senate will have to pass it again. And there is no guarantee that Mr. Trump will sign it.

“We are still open to discussion,” said Representative Bennie Thompson, Democrat of Mississippi and the incoming chairman of the House Homeland Security Committee. “I would say that the wall is the problem. Most people we talk to say the wall is a political answer to a problem that really requires a thoughtful, a more pragmatic response.”

Whether Mr. Trump signs the bill might depend on whether he and Democrats can agree to disagree on what a border barrier is called. Democrats have accepted fencing in the past. Mr. Trump has taken to intermittently calling his barrier a wall or “aesthetically pleasing steel slats.”

In Iraq, he told reporters he was planning on “going to the wall” on the Mexican border next year for a “ground breaking.” He said he planned to visit the border before his State of the Union address, usually given toward the end of January.

It was one of a series of inscrutable statements from the president since parts of the government closed, furloughing 380,000 federal workers and forcing over 420,000 to work without pay. On Monday, he tweeted that he had signed a contract to build 115 miles of border wall in Texas, an odd pronouncement given that the Homeland Security Department ran out of money at midnight on Dec. 21. The department referred questions to the White House, which has yet to offer an explanation.

As the impasse continues, the president and other conservatives have pointed to previous votes — including the Secure Fence Act of 2006 and the Senate bill that Mr. Menendez helped negotiate — as evidence that Democratic objections are driven by spite for the president, not opposition to the policy itself.

“Chuck Schumer and Senate Dems should support more border security — just like they have in the past,” Ronna McDaniel, the chairwoman of the Republican Party, tweeted on Wednesday. “In 2013, every single Senate Democrat supported $46 BILLION, which included 700 miles of barrier with Mexico.”

The existing fence, which Mr. Trump has started to claim was built under his administration, was actually begun under President Bill Clinton, a Democrat, and has steadily grown in fragments, said Wayne Cornelius, an immigration expert at the University of California, San Diego. Experts continue to question its effectiveness, even as it expands.

Mr. Trump’s demand “doesn’t comply with what the professionals at homeland security said they needed to secure the border,” said Senator Michael Bennet, Democrat of Colorado. “There is an absolutely massive difference. It’s as if he entered the policy debate believing what he says and not understanding how false his statements are.”

Mr. Bennet this year helped put together the compromise that would have allocated $25 billion in wall money in exchange for offering legal residence to thousands of young immigrants brought to the United States illegally as children. Based on his interactions with the White House in the last year, he said he does not believe Mr. Trump actually wants a solution, merely an issue to use for political scores.

Some Republicans have dismissed the distinction between fencing and wall and said a wall could be an improvement to barriers along portions of the border.

“The hard line of the Democrats is ridiculous,” said former Representative Jack Kingston, a Georgia Republican whose years on the House Appropriations Committee overlapped with a number of debates on border security. “You have to come to the table with something you want and something you’re willing to give.”

However, Mr. Kingston added, Republicans erred in not “continuously building the case for why a wall is important.”

But in places where border fencing is already in place, there is confusion over whether a concrete wall could be an enhancement.

For years in San Diego, most residents have referred to the barrier there as a fence. But some have taken to calling it a wall, in a nod to the president’s campaign messaging and the barrier’s three reinforced layers of sheet metal, concrete columns and metal fence edged by razor wire.

“I’m not sure what more they could plan to do here; we have a pretty extensive border wall here already that dates back to Bush, when they raised the height and added more layers,” said Serge Dedina, the mayor of Imperial Beach, who has spent his whole life on the border. “It has significantly changed already. As always with the border, it has nothing to do with reality. We’re the safest beach city in San Diego County.”

Denise Moreno Ducheny, a senior policy adviser at the University of California, San Diego’s Center for U.S.-Mexican Studies, condemned Mr. Trump’s vision of a border wall as “a fourth-century solution to a 20th-century problem.”

“If you are going to do more things to secure the border, do it with more intelligence, more technology,” she said. “The whole idea that you are going to build a Great Wall of China between California and Mexico is just silly.”

Some activists in California have used the word “wall” to describe the fencing for years, including Enrique Morones, who leads the group Border Angels, which leaves water and other aid for those crossing through the desert.

“When people hear fence, they think of it as something that you have with your neighbor, not something that has led to the deaths of thousands of people,” he said, pointing to the number of migrants who have moved farther east to more treacherous terrain.

“President Bush, President Obama, they all reinforced what was already there,” he added. “The only difference is they didn’t think it was a major political win for them.”

[horrorinreallife]

First of all, if you see this and say to yourself, “Oh. My. God. I’m going to keep an eye on her. I cannot believe she just said that.”

That’s actually just fine. I admit here publicly and to the entire world that the next boss that I have that does not value my time, experience, knowledge, thinks I shouldn’t work at all, thinks I would be better in the creative arts (man seriously fuck you with that why don’t you go tell that to Sally Mae. I fully admit I went for a creative degree simply so that I could still drink my face off and graduate with a diploma and just go join Corporate America and make tons of money so I could drink more and afford party drugs sorry that is who I am to the core and if that makes me a terrible person then come at me so I can run away from how stupid you are for wasting so much time being concerned about what I am doing versus your own life) and wants me to fuck them, well, I will murder you, like, the hardest.

Now I’m old and tiredish and one of those annoying and careful health people. ONLY because if you treat your body really well you don’t get sick or hurt that often (or ever) which saves tons of time dealing with the US Healthcare System which must have been designed by scientists in a lab just gathering together a bunch of orangutans and giving them construction paper and crayons and then just using those as blueprints for the entire structure in which to build a nationwide healthcare system.

Anyway, back to the premeditated yet unspecified murder confession.

One time I had a boss that was actually super fun to party with and I am pretty sure I was up for a promotion and we were wasted one night and he just drunkenly blurted out how hard I made his dick. Actually he didn’t blurt it out, he prefaced it with “You’re going to be mad.” Then told me. I wasn’t even mad! In no way was I impressed either, unfortunately. Truly horrified because I was familiar with what the next series of events would most likely be with him as my superior in the workplace. And honestly, he was actually hot and super fun and if it had been any other situation I would have absolutely helped him out with that hard dick situation (although he also had a wife that had literally just given birth so I felt bad about that too, I felt really bad for her, to be honest. Looking back if that were to happen now it would have strictly been the fact that he was my boss though. Sorry ladies. Keep your husbands away from me if you are a bitch) but the bottom line is I had a job in which I enjoyed and did well and was paid well and what I did with that money (basically gamble, but in the creative arts) was my own business and decisions and he ended up really fucking that (my ability to keep working that job and earning that money) up for me and so that was the last straw.

Ok, I mean, there were a couple of other instances since then that were much less severe because the people I dealt with were just simple country folk and you just cannot blame them for being just so mind-blowingly stupid, but I swear to you, the next time I am resorting to murder.

I mean, unless they are just so stupid again and then I feel bad for them again. Goddamnit I am stuck in a neverending loop.

Oh, also, if you are a potential employer reading this blog, in no way am I being coy with you. Murder, in this case, would be in cold blood.

What I am saying to you is that I am fed up with being disrespected in the workplace and I will kill you with my bare hands. Depending on how much of a douche you were to me specifically in regards to underestimating my abilities because of any archaic pre-conceived gender biases you held I would probably drag it out for quite some time, strictly to annoy the ever-living fuck out of you for both my own amusement and for wasting my time but eventually, I would murder you, again, not as in fuck you for being such an asshole hahaha you’re so funny fuck me so hard daddy/mommy, but I will literally murder you after which you would die, simply for being the last person that underestimated me in the workplace.

—-> I know there’s that super-lazy cop out way of hiring someone to murder other people for you but that is for lazy, lazy, stupid shitbags who are unable to complete a task. The truly fearful and Whitney. Oh, excuse me, typo. I meant whiney. Also if you are hiring people for that, those people aren’t usually the best at knowing who would actually make an effective contract killer for someone with more than 3 brain cells because, unfortunately, I’m going to have to bring up the stupidity again. I am referring to your stupidity, not the people you hir... nevermind. This will go over your head entirely. Yes I am being slightly emotionally abusive however it is in no way because I am attracted to you but in every way is a warning of your impending demise because I’m pretty sure I actually knew a guy like this once who legitimately told me he was going to kill himself at a specific age that was actually pretty young and so I absolutely keep my distance from that person even when they repeatedly ask me out and it’s just like obviously you are lying because that age has obviously come and gone for you but I wish that it was true and that I had the ability to speed up time. You can tell when a true friend is in trouble. That guy is no friend. <—-

“Hahaha you have a typo above that says Whitney instead of whiney. Was that a Freudian slip for Whitney Houston?”

What can I say, bitch couldn’t handle her crack.

“Oh my god! That is terrible!!!!”

That was terrible. Seriously! In all honesty she was stupid for giving Bobby Brown even a fraction of a second of her time. I understand poor self esteem is a thing, I’ve both wasted my time and had a HIL. AR. EE. OUS. time with that, but at a certain point you are just being stupid.

Also, I completely understand that there are people totally into that whole poor self-esteem/emotional abuse dynamic but just FYI: there are educators out there that then have to deal with your slack-jawed, ski-sloping forheadded children (I am in no way referring to the bunny hill here folks). SERIOUSLY! 👏 HOW 👏 MUCH 👏 SPACE 👏 IS 👏 POSSIBLE 👏 BETWEEN 👏 EACH 👏 INDIVIDUAL 👏 TOOTH 👏 IN 👏 ONE 👏CHILD’S 👏 MOUTH 👏 You would be amazed. Breastfeeding is certainly up to the parent(s’) descretion, however, there should be some kind of limit strictly in the best interests of the child.

Anyway, you are simply making those educators’ lives more of a nightmare than they already are.

I assure you. Those lives are already a nightmare of which recovery is slim to none.

Oh! One time (I have a feeling this wasn’t the first time but he actually married this one) my brother was with the poster child for white trash, I mean this bitch was so annoying and crazy but to the perfect stereotype. Constant selfies. Could not hold down a job. Was going to be a model despite her giant ass. I’m not talking about a phat ass dem boiis wanna be up ‘a bouncin’ on either, I am saying this bitch looked like if you poured unmixed pancake batter into pants. She had so many children from different baby-daddies (her last one was with this burn out I went to high school with and the kid LITERALLY has fetal alcohol syndrome or something). Anyway, a few times before they got married she could not have been blowing up his phone hardcore stalker-style any harder, but like FOR REAL, and I definitely had some concerns but I just assumed he’d figure it out. Well, anyway, they actually got married and he was deployed in the military and I guess she was like cheating on him and whatever else the whole time and just, here’s my issue:

I love my little brother and I was truly fearful when he was deployed because I was certain he was going to be out wandering around in the desert and step on a land mine and die. I feel like this bitch, in a way, kept him safe from that but then also must have been so fucking stressful to deal with too that there’s no way he doesn’t have major emotional damage from all that considering all the other horrible shit he must have seen overseas. Plus he does have women just constantly in his fucking face. If you’ve not met my mother, or father at this point, I mean, goddamn.

Anyway, I really wanted to kill that bitch for real. I am pretty sure that if my brother had been killed overseas while deployed while married to her, I promise you I would have murdered her without even a second thought of the consequences and just hoped somehow any money the government had to give for my brother’s death went to her daughter at the time so that poor little girl would have had a fighting chance. As you can imagine this little girl was *a bit* of a nightmare too but in her defense, with a mom like that she was doing pretty well. I imagine she’s probably like 13 with 2-3 kids by now unfortunately.

Anyway, to recap:

List of people to kill

1. The next employer that sexually harasses (stay tuned for a blog in which I define sexual harassment, much better than those hilarious corporate videos that just simply give ideas on how to sexually harass someone creatively) me to the point of me being unable to do my job for which I am being paid. P.S. If you are really hot or a fun person, sexually harass me all you want just don’t fucking afffect my paycheck in any way or then you’ll have to deal with me fucking killing you to death and I actually in all honesty don’t want to deal with that. I actually don’t mind being sexually harassed as long as it’s not from 4,000 people at the same time. Also, again, if it affecting my ability to earn money in which I use to pay my few bills and tend to my basic needs and fucking have fun occasionally like a normal person I will fucking summon Lucifer himself and bring a fear and actual murder upon you that you will not survive because you will die.

2. Any extremely stupid white trash cunts (in no way is that gender or income-specific in this instance) that torture any of my friends to the point that it is somehow directly affecting me in some way. My friends are smart people who can handle themselves (usually), and at this point I do not really give too many shits about anyone’s well-being because my own takes priority (I am single with no kids you can go ahead and hate me all you want that’s my right to be a selfish bitch) HOWEVER, hopefully by now they all understand I am in no way wanting whatsoever to be responsible for them. EXCEPT if something that is too white trash and stupid is affecting them to the point that it is affecting me then there is an issue.

3. Oh yeah, I forgot about stalkers. If you want to waste time stalking me you can but I’m going to just end up SEVERELY hurting your feelings and I apologize but don’t even put yourself through that. I’m serious. I see what you are doing and will patiently work with the situation but eventually I will get away from you and you may or may not recover from the emotional damage I left in my wake because I really do not appreciate that. That is what you deserve. Focusing on one person like that is very, VERY damaging to them.

4. Anyone, in general, that feels I shouldn’t work a job for pay. I do not give a rat’s shit how “dead end” a job is, “in this economy”, a job is a job. It is true I should be working a highly-paid corporate sales job, however, did you just read what I wrote above? At this point I could probably get some facial tattoos. Maybe I will. Just kidding. That makes you look retarded. You are illustrating your I.Q. right on your face. It’s very funny to everyone else, but I mean seriously.

I will add to this list later.