#because i know will halstead better than anyone

[hotchstead]

Will Halstead deserved to come home in season 4 to someone that would love and support him through all of his trauma. Not someone that would kick him out of the house his first night back because he bought a gun.

Not that i dont understand why natalie would be hesitant about it but the way will was moved to phoenix for months. from what he said, not able to talk to many people so he was pretty isolated and you can almost 100% bet that all that he could think about for at LEAST the first few weeks was his friend getting killed right in front of him.

he knows that friend’s brother blames him and wants vengeance for it so when he gets back to chicago theres only so much safety he can give himself while looking over his shoulder so of course it makes sense that hed want that protection. now i dont think hed ever actually use the gun. its just not in his nature. he isnt the type to shoot someone, hes the type to save the person that just shot at him.

i dont know. i was looking at the season 4 mid season and return for med and thinking. like will went through hell that season. his dad dying, his friends being criminals under watch of the fbi snd being FORCED to work for them to get the dirt. being taken and almost killed by said friend. witness protection. then he comes back, expecting natalie to fully be there for him and she freaks out that he has a gun and later on breaks up with him.

i know she didnt break up with him bc of the gun itself but will wouldnt have felt like he had to lie about getting rid of it if they hadnt been able to just talk it out and her understand why he wanted to have it.

anywho blah blah blah will halstead deserved better, i love him and i could write him a better love interest and i am

[equallyshaw]

Gun to My Head, Heart in His Hands | Jay Halstead

warnings: kidnapping. w.c: 6.0K masterlist. |

8 days. Millie had been trapped here for eight days. No escape. No strength left to fight back. No proof anyone was coming.

She wasn’t a cop built for battle. Not muscle. Not a weapon. She was the “book”—the “shrink.” The one who barely scraped through the academy, who talked her way into Intelligence with words instead of bullets.

Why would they come looking for her?

Why would he?

Jay Halstead. The man who could read a room in seconds but never once looked at her long enough to see her. The man who got under her skin faster than trauma ever had. Who held her at arm’s length like she was a liability—only to pull her close, just to walk away again.

He hadn’t stood up for her. Not when it counted. Not when the team had laughed. Not when she needed him to speak, to see.

She’d swallowed the humiliation. Tasted metal when she bit her tongue. Pride bleeding out between her teeth.

I hope I die before I lose myself.

Because if she broke in here, no one would care enough to find the pieces.

She wasn’t the hero. Just a file clerk in a bulletproof vest. A body behind a desk.

No guts. No glory.

Some of us are the ones that should’ve gotten away.

And maybe she was one of them. Not the one who mattered. Not to him. Not to anyone.

—

Her head throbbed as she woke on a cold, concrete floor in some desolate warehouse on the far South Side—right at the edge of the city limits. Her mouth tasted like metal—her own blood—slowly clotting after his elbow had collided with her jaw. No break, thankfully. But a dull, persistent ache lingered.

Her eyes cracked open, adjusting to the dim surroundings and the absence of… well, anything.

As the conditions came into focus, her eyes widened. She looked down at her body, searching for trauma. Just dried blood on her shirt—presumably from her mouth. And then she remembered—the way her head had snapped back, then righted itself. Whiplash.

Millie shuddered as her hand drifted to her temple, brushing against more dried blood. Tears burned her eyes at the swelling beneath—a definite bruise.

She bit down. Hard. She knew better. Better than to cry. Better than to scream. Better than to beg.

They couldn’t know they’d gotten to her. They had to think she was broken. Maybe then… maybe then she could escape.

She coughed into her arm—force of habit—just before the screech of the metal door sliced through the silence.

He stepped in.

That face. It had haunted her nightmares for years. He grinned. A devil’s grin wrapped in sugar.

“Hi, Millie. Been a while, huh?” he said, settling into a wooden chair in the corner.

It took everything in her not to respond. Not to give him the satisfaction. But if she was honest—she’d wanted to kill him the second he stepped through that door.

The man who stole everything from her. Maybe now was her time. Maybe now she’d rise to the occasion—guts and glory.

He tsked. “Aw, sweetie, don’t remember me? You’re breaking my heart.” He placed a mocking hand over his chest.

She rolled her eyes.

He chuckled. “You pretending not to feel anything? That shrink-mind bullshit isn’t gonna work on me, baby.”

His voice dripped with venomous sweetness, and it turned her stomach.

“What would your father say, hmm? What would Marcus—”

“Don’t you dare bring him up,” she snapped. “Don’t you dare say his name, Martin.”

His grin didn’t falter. “Or what, baby? Hmm? What?”

She shook her head, lips curling into a snarl.

“You don’t get to say his name. Not after what you did. Not after you murdered your own partner. My father.”

Her voice shook. Wobbled. He just smiled.

“You knew it was me that night,” she whispered. “You knew he was taking me to that father-daughter dance. You knew exactly who I was—what I meant to him—and you still put a bullet in his head and made it look like suicide.”

He blinked once. Slow. Calculated. Smug silence filled the room.

“He trusted you,” she spat. “Like a damn brother. And you covered it up. You made him look unstable. Left him with the weight of your crimes—and a bullet in his brain.”

Martin leaned back, comfortable in his lie. “The department bought it. You know why? Because he was spiraling. I just gave them the ending they were already expecting.”

“You staged it,” she growled. “You made it real. And you kept going. Still on the force. Still undercover. Still playing the good guy—while you rot inside.”

He stood slowly, pacing. “Don’t pretend you’re clean in all this.”

His voice was sharp now.

“You were ready to burn the whole thing down just to prove a point.”

Silence. Then a sigh—low and bitter.

“But that’s what they don’t get about you.”

He glanced at her.

“The others... they think you’re soft. Safe. Just some desk jockey who’s in over her head.” A pause. Longer this time. “They don’t see the fire in your blood. The fire behind your eyes.” He stepped closer, voice quieter.

“The same fire your father had. The kind that doesn’t die—it kills.”

He smirked. “I bet it’s the same fire Hank Voight has, hmm?”

She snarled.

“But they don’t know that. They don’t know how twisted you really are, do they, baby? Should we take a peek at your Med file?”

He reached into her bag, pulling out a stack of stolen case files.

“Oh yeah—these are golden. The entire Intelligence team, huh? Why, baby? Why do you have your own personal file cabinet on them… and yourself?”

He stepped closer, faces inches apart.

“Planning to play their game—or rewrite the rules?”

Then he pulled back, flipping open her file.

“Defiance. Fighting. Swearing. Threats. Dumpster fire...” he read. “And oh, yes—the gun incident.”

He paused. Looked at her.

“And my favorite one of all: your childhood cat.” He raised a brow. “You told me about her once. Third grade. White, with one black paw. You cried when she died. I remember.”

Shame. Guilt. Rage. It all flooded her at once. If he didn’t shut up, she was going to vomit.

“They don’t know, right? That your father covered for you?” He flipped another page.

“Family cat found dead in the backyard. Cause: blunt force trauma. Millie claimed the cat was ‘sick’ and ‘wouldn’t stop screaming.’ Said she ‘just wanted it to stop.’ Psych eval noted emotional detachment and a desire for control. When asked why she didn’t tell anyone, she said: ‘They wouldn’t have done anything.’ File sealed by Det. [REDACTED] following mother’s death.”

He shut the folder gently and laid it on the stack, smiling like the devil.

Tears burned behind her eyes.

He made it sound like a horror show. But he wasn’t there. He didn’t hear the screams every night—the animal, not her mother, though both haunted her room. The cat was dying. Millie had begged her father to take it to the vet, but they couldn’t afford another bill.

She didn’t know how to help. She was twelve. She panicked. And afterward, she never stopped feeling like a monster.

Her psych eval showed a paradox: a natural counselor who scored high on sensation-seeking and had a defiant streak that refused to back down, no matter the cost. She wasn’t reckless. But she wasn’t afraid of risk either.

"Your thinking doesn’t always align with what’s expected," the evaluator had said. "It’s not the norm—some might even say it’s dangerous. But there’s intent behind it. Compassion. A refusal to let others suffer when you believe there’s another way."

And Hank... he’d seen it early, hadn’t he? Back when she was just a kid, when he’d stop by for late dinners and midnight drinks, listening to the proud, worried stories her father told.

Tales of what she’d gotten into. The messes. The moments. The way she already saw the world bending at the seams—and tried to hold it together with both hands.

And now—he saw that spirit tenfold. Quieter. Sharper. Calculated. He saw it in the way her mind still worked like clockwork, always five steps ahead. Always watching. Always trying to save someone from the fire.

“You think no one noticed your late-night hangouts? What? He fucked you and ghosted you?”

“STOP!” she screamed, hands flying to her ears.

They hadn’t hooked up. They were just close friends. But she didn’t know why Jay had started pulling away. Their pizza nights. Their coffees. Their long walks after tense cases. All of it had slowed—then stopped.

The shoulder she used to lean on was gone.

Did he know?

Martin chuckled and walked toward the metal door.

“Think it over, baby. I’ll be back.”

The door clanged shut.

She exhaled a breath she hadn’t realized she was holding.

Tears fell. Her body trembled.

Was she the reason Jay disappeared?

Or worse—was he next?

__

day two.

Gods, her body ached. It felt like death—fire in her veins, every limb breaking at the seams.

Martin had already been in that day. Said he had to go on patrol, promised he’d be back before midnight.

He always knew what buttons to press. How to twist grief into guilt, guilt into shame. That was Martin’s superpower: redefining reality until you questioned whether you were ever good in the first place.

That’s what her father had loved about him. When he still had a grip on reality. Before the cancer made him cruel. Before bitterness swallowed the man who used to braid her hair and make up songs to stop her tears.

She’d spent years in grief counseling after her mother died. Spent even longer learning to name her feelings instead of running from them. But trauma doesn’t evaporate. It lingers. Lurks. And in moments like this—abandoned, bloodied, betrayed—it surged as if it had never left.

And yet, she was still here. Tied up in metal chains. Cold concrete beneath her—hard, unforgiving.

Exactly what she was.

Martin had brought up Jay again. His file. The one she had been working on, for her own files. He mentioned what Jay clearly meant to her—the late-night hugs, the hand-holds outside their respective places when he’d been following her.

That didn’t surprise her. Of course, Martin had been planning something. He was always the planner. Her dad had always been the muscle.

Her mind drifted to the first time she saw Jay.

She’d just graduated from the academy a week prior—barely scraped by—and was partnered with Sean Roman at the Twenty-First Precinct.

Trudy had made some sarcastic comment that bit deeper than intended. Something about how fun it’d be to watch Millie on patrol for a day before she quit the force.

But Millie didn’t give her the satisfaction.

Sure, she was a bit reckless. She knew that.

She and Roman were called to a stakeout that spiraled into an ambush—guns drawn, nerves fried—when Hailey was pulled into a chokehold, a knife pressed to her throat.

God, Millie had been such a fool. Reckless. Dangerous. Timid. Naive. Dumb, they’d called her.

She lowered her gun to the floor. Stepped slowly past the officers pressed against hallway walls and doorframes, toward the man holding Hailey—who was panting in panic.

“Hey, man. I promise they won’t do anything,” she began, stepping between Jay and Hank, who stood at the front.

She raised her arms. “You don’t think I understand how you feel? You think you’re the only one backed into a corner, no way out, no one coming to help? Think again.”

The suspect’s eyes darted, pupils blown wide with desperation. His grip on the blade tightened.

Millie didn’t flinch.

“You don’t think I know what it’s like to lose a parent?” she continued, voice calm. “To lose someone you love? Especially at the hands of a cop?”

The room shifted. The unit exchanged glances. Rookie or not—what the hell was she saying?

But Hank… Hank knew. He knew who she was. And in that moment, he began to suspect what had happened.

“If you want to hurt someone to make them feel what you’re feeling—take me.” Her voice cracked, just barely. “I can handle it. I promise. You want someone who might actually feel it with you? You’re looking at her.”

Silence.

She took a step closer. “But ask yourself this: Do you want to die… or are you just tired of surviving?”

Her eyes locked with the assailant’s. They both started to cry.

He pulled Hailey to the ground gently, and Millie knelt beside them.

“Let us help you,” she said softly. “You don’t want to do this, Julio. I promise.”

“Give me the knife, Julio. I promise—you’ll get the help you need.”

Then, with a hint of sarcasm: “If you hurt me, I will be very hurt.”

She reached for the knife. Julio’s hands trembled as he passed it to her.

Julio gave it up.

Hailey sagged, backing away. Jay moved quickly to catch her. His eyes never left Millie. Antonio and Adam swept in, cuffing him and taking him out the back door.

Millie had been reckless. Yes. Dangerous. But she’d proven herself.

She wasn’t the muscle. She was the brains—with enough nerve to stare down a criminal without blinking.

She walked out beside Roman, who nudged her shoulder. “Not bad, Shrink,” he muttered.

Jay caught that. So did Kim.

Millie rolled her eyes. She hated that nickname. “Hm,” she grunted.

“Good job back there, officer—” Jay started, then paused when she smiled. “Evans. Officer Evans.”

She looked to Roman. “We call her Shrink because she’s a doctor of psychology,” he teased.

A doctor.

She grimaced, sighing. “Have a good day, officers,” she said, eyes flicking between Jay and Kim, then lingering on Jay.

And then she turned, walking back to the patrol car. Jay watched as she seemed to shrink into herself—Roman’s words gnawing at her.

Curiosity gnawed at him, too.

Until the day she joined Intelligence as their book and brains. That was the day Hank Voight finally recognized her—not as the new asset, but as the daughter of an old friend.

She was no longer the child he once knew. She no longer went by Murphy.

She went by Evans now.

A shield. A separation. A choice born from survival.

__

Martin had been at psychological warfare for six hours now — beating her, kicking her ribs, yanking the chains on her wrists until they were bloody and raw.

But the worst damage wasn't physical.

He poisoned her mind.

Told her her father never loved her. That she was a problem — too much. Whispered what the Intelligence Unit really thought of her, what they were doing right now — drinking at Molly’s without a care in the world. Twisted Jay’s silence into betrayal.

And then he rewrote the night her father died.

Swore it wasn’t suicide. Swore Hank killed him.

And the worst part?

She believed him.

Millie was rotting from the inside out. Five days of fighting — every manipulation, every trick — and now?

She was too weak. Too dehydrated. Too starved. And her mind? Clawing at the edge, desperate for one truth to hold onto.

“What is it? Can’t handle the truth? Maybee you were boring? Predictable? Calculated? Unlovable?”

He laughed.

And maybe... Maybe she was.

She sagged in the chair, pain radiating through every inch of her. The chains clinked as her arms dangled, metal embedded into her skin like a second skeleton.

Then one last blow. He struck the back of her head.

Everything went black.

A fucking game. All of it. Twisted. Rehearsed.

Millie’s body shut down. Her subconscious retreated into the only safe space left: Memory.

A Month Earlier.

Jay had been over at her place in the Loop. They’d ordered two pizzas — her deep dish, his tavern-style — and were sharing red wine.

They hadn’t spent time together in weeks.

Jay had been quiet. Off. Not the steady Jay she knew.

Even at work, he'd been distant. Dodging calls. Leaving her out of conversations. Not obvious — just enough to make her question everything.

Now they were on her couch, laughing over Adam and Kevin’s antics. They’d just closed a fifteen-year-old kidnapping case. The motive?

Revenge.

Millie’s smile faded. The case felt too familiar. Like her childhood. Like her father’s death.

Jay noticed and tapped her knee.

“You okay?”

She nodded faintly.

“Yeah… just a long week.”

She set her plate down.

“Thanks for staying this week. The case... it brought everything back. I felt fifteen again. The night my dad died.”

Jay blinked. She’d never told him this.

“You don’t think it was suicide?”

She shook her head.

“No. I was upstairs. Just a few rooms away. And something’s never added up.”

He listened, silent.

“He was undercover. He told Hank and Al — if something happened, it wouldn’t be an accident. Martin, his partner, said grief drove him to do it. Said I was too much. A problem child.”

She laughed bitterly.

“I wasn’t. My dad loved me. But they closed the case. No one believed him. They thought Hank was covering his ass.”

Jay’s chest tightened.

He remembered her outside interrogation the other day — broken, shaken. He’d pulled her in, wordless, held her as she sobbed.

She remembered too — and regretted it.

“You must think I’m weak,” she said, grabbing her wine and standing.

Jay caught her wrist.

Their eyes met.

“Never,” he said. Steady. Certain.

She gave him a faint smile, then walked into the kitchen.

Jay stayed seated. That’s when he saw it — the edge of a manila folder in her tote.

He hesitated, then reached for it.

Marcus Murphy. Her father.

Inside: the case file. Her notes. Theories. Questions. Accusations. Voight. Al. Martin. All annotated.

At the bottom: a photo. Millie at fifteen. Fierce eyes. Forced smile.

Present Day.

Jay bolted upright.

“Voight! We need to check Millie’s. There’s a file. Evidence. I saw it.”

Her apartment.

The living room was a crime board. A detective’s mind mapped out in red string and Post-Its.

Photos. Notes. Maps. Profiles.

Martin — DANGER.

A “Suspects” section: only one name in red.

HANK VOIGHT —What they all said.

Jay’s breath caught.

On the mantle: the folder. Waiting.

Pinned above it:

He has me. Jay — You saw it. You read between the lines. You saw the fear in my eyes. You know why I left the room. Why I left it here. I left a trail because you always saw me clearly. Don’t look for him. But take him down when he shows. — Millie

It wasn’t just a trail. It was a lifeline.

__ day eight.

3:43 PM. Millie called.

Jay tore off his headset. “Trace it. South Side. Industrial block. Near the old slaughterhouse.”

Voight didn’t move. His eyes were locked on the ringing line.

“Line two,” the desk sergeant said. “They say they're Millie.”

Voight grabbed it. “Voight.”

Static. Then her voice, broken:

“Hank?” “Please—don’t come after me. Don’t come after him.”

“Millie? Are you hurt?”

“Chained to a wall. Listening to him whisper how horrible you are as a human being.”

“We’re coming.”

“No. That’s what he wants. I have to be the shield, Hank. To protect you.”

A beat.

“No,” she whispered. “I protected the only one who still gave a damn about him.”

Jay froze. “Her dad…”

Voight already knew.

“Martin murdered him. I was fifteen. Getting ready for a stupid father-daughter dance.”

“He was building a case on you,” she added. “Thought you were dirty.”

“I know.”

“What?”

“I was cleared. Martin wasn’t. I always knew. Your father he-he warned me. Told Al and me about it while undercover.”

“He’s going to kill me, Hank. And I didn’t stop it in time. Didn't stall him long enough.”

“You left a trail. We found it.”

Millie’s voice trembled, almost breaking: “I prayed you’d see me... even if I wasn’t the same — if I changed my name, disappeared... that you wouldn’t forget.”

Jay’s eyes locked on hers, steady and sure. “Never, Millie. I could never forget you.”

A tremble.

“Please don’t let him hurt you. You’re all that's left of him.”

The only one who can keep his memory alive & bring down Martin.

“Millie—”

But the line exploded with noise — footsteps, metal scraping.

“Oh God—he’s coming— I have to go—”

“Millie—!”

A scream. Then silence.

She was out cold.

Martin dragged her limp body across the floor, unhooking her wrists, pulling her into the next room — the one with a ditch filled with glass shards and jagged, rusted blades.

Her unconscious mind spiraled. Memory on loop.

Jay.

She had already fallen for him. In their silences. In the way he made her feel seen — her instincts, her fire, even her doubts.

He told her she kept the team sane. Said they wouldn’t have solved half their cases without her.

But one memory haunted her most.

That day in the joint Narcotics-Intelligence briefing.

Narcotics had sneered at her, mocked her, spit the old nickname like poison: the shrink. They whispered that her father — once the proud head of Narcotics — would be ashamed of her if he were still alive. Barely scraping through the academy. Laughable.

What gutted her wasn’t their cruelty. It was the silence of her own unit.

Not one of them stood up for her.

They let it happen. Watched her burn under the weight of their jeers. Intelligence offered no defense — just tight smiles, awkward chuckles, complicit nods. Even Jay had laughed once, when a nickname landed sharper than intended, as she stumbled through her case briefing, swallowing tears and fury and pride.

She left that meeting ready to walk away. From the badge. From all of it.

Because how could she trust a team to protect her out there, when they wouldn’t even defend her in the room?

Especially Jay.

It tainted her view of him — maybe even cracked the pedestal she’d put him on.

What she didn’t know was this:

Two days later, Voight walked into Narcotics unannounced. No warnings. No pleasantries. He tore them to shreds — every last one. Made it clear Millie was more than capable, more than enough. That she had earned her place, and anyone who said otherwise would answer to him.

Hank had seen her. All of her. Flaws, fears, fire.

And when the time came, he believed — no, knew — she’d rise.

__

She awoke in the other room, panic instantly rising as her eyes landed on the gun beside her, knives scattered nearby, and a ditch filled with glass shards and jagged, rusted blades.

Her mind raced to the team—knowing they wouldn’t find her in time. Knowing Martin would win, once again.

She thought of the last time she saw them, the last time she heard their voices.

day zero.

Jay had FaceTimed her at Molly’s, Jay had FaceTimed her at her townhouse, urging her to get out for the night. He said she needed a break — She’d said no—buried in timelines and piecing together her dad’s murder.

She had finally cracked the case. Every bit of it.

But Jay’s face had brightened when she picked up. The way his eyes twinkled when she spoke. The way he and the team all said they wanted her there.

Then Jay softened his voice. “We can stop at that French café that just opened down the street... they’re open 24 hours... get crepes on the way home.”

He grinned, teasing, knowing she’d cave at the mention of crepes. She rolled her eyes but glanced down at the manila folder at her feet, and Jay caught her pause.

“Fine. One drink. Then crepes, Halstead,” she giggled.

He saluted playfully. “Scout’s honor, Dr. Evans.”

She smiled. “See you in like an hour—gonna grab the L.”

Jay nodded. “Be safe.”

“Always. Scout’s honor,” she hummed, then hung up—letting the call linger a moment longer, memorizing the curves and nooks of his face. His godforsaken face.

And she thought of her adoration for him, despite the sting of that narcotics meeting—how her heart fluttered at the thought of never seeing him again. Never being near him again. Never finishing that damn kiss he shied away from—the night they had pizza and left the manila folder out for him.

Her gut screamed that something was coming.

She’d made her bed with instinct and knowing.

And Martin was going to force her to lie in it.

She set the case file down on the fireplace and sighed.

Grabbing her black tote, stuffed with photocopies of intelligence files, herself, and related documents, she left the originals safely inside her townhouse.

Then she stepped outside. The gate clicked shut behind her.

And just like that—she vanished.

__

Millie had barely been conscious for five minutes when his gun pressed to her temple, his arm hooked around her throat—her airway slowly collapsing.

She waited. Pins and needles. For the team to burst in, guns drawn, yelling. A chaotic rescue.

But they weren’t coming.

So she calmed herself. Slipped into the rhythm of years of trauma and shadow work. The practices. The breathing. The stillness.

She pictured the lakefront. Sunrise. Coffee in hand. Chicago humming awake. Her city.

Her breathing steadied. Her mind slowed. Peace—before death.

Maleficent "Millie" Evans stood in the middle of a grimy, dim warehouse, a beam of sunlight slicing through a cracked window and catching on her trembling hands. The metal of the gun at her temple stayed cold. Steady. But it wasn’t the steel that hurt—it was the silence. The silence from the people she called family.

The precinct. Radios humming. Boots on linoleum. The places she never truly belonged. The conversations that died when she entered. The dismissive laughter.

“Soft. The book. The brain.”

At her last narcotics briefing, a few officers had laughed. “Smart enough to stay off the line. Not a real cop.” Even some in Intelligence had smirked.

Jay, too. He never meant it cruelly, she told herself. His teasing about her living far from the team. His jokes about coffee over camaraderie. But maybe—maybe he believed it, too.

She swallowed hard. Bitter tears burning.

They’re not coming.

They don’t love me like I love them.

“You see that?” the kidnapper hissed. “They think you’re nothing. Replaceable. Weak. Nimble. The soft one. The book. That’s what they all called you, right?”

Her breath caught. Her fists clenched until her nails dug into her palms.

I’m useless. I’m not enough. I’m not like them.

She remembered the nights she stayed late. The victims she held until dawn. The files she read until her eyes burned. The training. The effort. The trying.

Still... just a footnote.

Then—movement. A shadow in the corner of her eye.

Hank. Jay.

Voight, jaw like stone. Jay, eyes locked on hers.

A flicker. A flame.

She wouldn’t break.

“Don’t shoot! Don’t shoot!” she cried to the team, voice tight but sharp.

The negotiator. Always the calm. The steady. Like it was instinct.

The kidnapper’s whisper cut deep, loud enough for them all to hear:

“You’re a fucking coward. Just like your father. You meant nothing. You are nothing. You’ll never be anything.”

She flinched. Grimaced. But no tears.

Just memories. Nightmares. Of laughter behind backs. Of men who questioned her presence.

The book. The one who slipped through.

She no longer looked like the woman Jay had started to love. The one he was going to tell—over crepes, that night.

The night that never came.

Everyone thought she was broken.

The psychologist, shattered.

Let them.

She’d play the part. An actress. The best damn performance of her life. Because she knew: Martin would shrink. Sag. Slip. He always did, when he thought he’d won.

She had rehearsed the line for months:

“I can’t... I can’t keep doing this,” she sobbed, voice cracking with exhaustion. “He’s right. I’m not strong. I’m not like you. I’m not a cop. I just—” her voice hitched, a tear sliding down her cheek, “I just wanted to help people. Understand them. That’s all I ever fucking wanted.”

The gun dug deeper. Her skin clammy. Her breath calm. Her eyes locked forward.

On them.

Shouting echoed.

“Let her go!” “Drop it now!” “Do it and we’ll all walk away!”

And then—

Jay.

“Don’t do anything. Don’t—”

His voice cracked. It cut through her like lightning.

Her body screamed. Wrists bloodied. Knees aching. Eight days. Eight days gone.

And she had believed it.

That they weren’t coming.

That she didn’t matter.

Now?

She stood before them. Half-dead. Bloodied. A noose around her neck.

“If you wanna shoot someone,” she rasped, “shoot me.”

Silence.

She took a raw breath.

“Shoot me. Don’t let him win.”

Her voice cracked. But her eyes scanned them all.

Kevin, furrowed. Kim, trembling. Hailey, pacing.

Voight.

Then—Jay.

She always looked at him the longest.

“Shoot me. Let me die first.”

And then, the kidnapper sneered again.

“You hear that? Nothing. You’re nothing. The soft one. The book. That’s all you’ll ever be.”

She shook her head. Silent tears now.

“Don’t shoot. Don’t shoot—don’t shoot…”

Jay moved.

Voight stopped him with a single arm.

But Millie kept going. Trembling. Collapsing inward.

Then—she felt it.

The shift.

His grip slackened.

Not fear.

Arrogance.

He thinks I’m broken.

Good.

She sagged. Shifted.

He moved to follow.

She struck.

Elbow to gut. Heel to shin. Twist. Downward weight. Wrist locked.

Just like week two in the academy.

The gun fell into her hands.

The team rushed.

Jay sprinted.

Kevin tackled the suspect. Over. Fast.

Jay didn’t stop.

He ripped the gun from her hands. Pulled her in.

“Hey—hey, I got you—” his voice, a whisper.

She collapsed into him. Sobbing. Shaking.

He held her tight. One arm around her waist. One hand behind her head.

“I got you,” he whispered. “You’re okay. I got you.”

Her fingers curled in his vest like she’d drown without it.

Behind them, chaos. Orders. Cuffs. Rage.

But all she heard was Jay.

“You’re not replaceable.”

She lifted her head. Eyes swollen.

He looked at her like she was everything.

“You hear me?” he said. “You’re not the book. You’re the whole fucking library.”

She didn’t answer.

Didn’t need to.

For the first time in eight days—

She believed him.

__

It had been three weeks since her rescue. Twenty-one long days.

She’d spent the first three—seventy-two hours—in a voluntary psychiatric hold. The moment she arrived at the hospital, Dr. Charles Daniels was waiting. They greeted each other like old friends—two professionals who’d been through this before.

She didn’t see Jay during those days. He waited anxiously, counting every hour, every minute, until she was cleared.

And when she was—good luck to anyone who tried to pull her away from him.

They were making up for lost time in every sense. But more than that, he was there to hold her when she cried. To catch her when she slipped back into that dark room in her mind.

Above all, he was there to keep her safe.

He didn’t trust the loop. Didn’t trust the townhouse she rented. Didn’t trust the thought of her being alone.

So without questions or hesitation, he took her home—to his home.

He took time off work just to be with her. To help her breathe, readjust, remember who she was beyond the trauma. To remind her she wasn’t alone.

A week into staying with him, she cracked.

She told him everything—her childhood, the good, the bad, and the ugly. The parts she’d hidden even from herself.

She told him about the offer from Quantico. The Behavioral Analysis Unit—BAU.

He asked if she was seriously considering it.

She told him the truth: she was.

She knew she was meant for more than Intelligence. More than the CPD. Not out of arrogance, but quiet confidence.

And he believed her.

He was proud. Happy for her.

Because if anyone was meant for more—it was her.

__

It had been four nights now.

Four nights waking tangled in his sheets, his breath warm against the back of her neck, her hand curled instinctively against his chest—like it belonged there. Like she belonged there.

She didn’t fight it anymore.

Neither did he.

They hadn’t said the words aloud, but they didn’t need to. It was in the way his fingers always found hers during movies, how he’d brush her hair behind her ear mid-sentence, how he made sure her favorite coffee was stocked before she even asked.

She’d let herself fall—and this time, she wasn’t catching herself. She didn’t need to. He was there.

This morning was quiet. Soft. The gray light of pre-dawn filtered through the curtains in his bedroom, casting faint lines over the blanket pulled halfway off their tangled bodies.

Millie blinked slowly, adjusting to the stillness. Jay was still asleep, his arm slung lazily around her waist, his chest rising and falling in a steady rhythm that lulled her even now. She nestled closer for a moment, absorbing the warmth, the safety.

Then—her phone buzzed on the nightstand.

She stilled, blinking again. It was early. Too early for anything casual. Carefully, she twisted from Jay’s hold, trying not to wake him as she leaned over and grabbed it.

Unknown number.

But the area code—it was familiar.

She swiped to answer and pressed the phone to her ear.

“Hello?”

“Good morning, Dr. Evans. It’s Agent Hotchner, from the Bureau,” he said, voice steady but gentle.

Her eyes widened.

“Good morning, Agent Hotchner,” she replied, shifting upright in bed. “How can I help you?”

“I just wanted to check in—see how you’re doing and whether you’ve come to a decision yet. We heard about what happened, and I want you to know, first and foremost, your well-being matters most.”

Her breath caught for a moment. “I’m doing much better now, thank you. I appreciate you reaching out.” She paused, then added, “And about your offer… I’ve thought about it. Right now, there are things I need to take care of here in Chicago. So, for today at least, I’ll have to decline the position in Quantico.”

There was a quiet beat before he responded. “Not a problem at all, Dr. Evans. We’ll keep a desk warm for you in the meantime. And if you’re interested, I know the Chicago office would be lucky to have you.”

A small, genuine smile curled her lips. “I’d love nothing more than that, Agent Hotchner.”

“Excellent. I’ll forward the papers your way. See you soon, Dr. Evans.”

The line clicked off.

Beside her, Jay stirred, his arm still draped over her waist. As he shifted, the brush of his fingers against her skin raised goosebumps.

“Who was that?” he asked, voice rough with sleep as he rubbed his eyes.

“Oh, just an agent from the Bureau,” she said casually, but he gave her a look—half grin, half knowing smirk.

“They offered you a job in Quantico, didn’t they?” he said, sitting up slightly.

She sighed and set her phone on the bedside table. “Yeah. I turned it down. Told them I had unfinished business here. Though... they offered me a spot in the Chicago office.”

Jay’s grin widened. That spark in his eyes lit her stomach on fire.

“The Bureau?” he said, sliding closer. “I always knew you were destined for bigger things, Missy.”

Then he kissed her. One of those deep, molten, heart-shaking kisses that made her toes curl and her insides melt.

When she pulled away just a few inches, she whispered, “Really?” Her voice soft, a flicker of doubt hidden in her words.

He chuckled, eyes lifting like he was thanking the universe. “Oh, most definitely. Clocked it the first day we worked together on the Lion’s case.”

She laughed, the memory flickering across her face.

“But you’re staying here… because of us. Because of me,” he said quietly, reading between every word she hadn’t said.

She arched an eyebrow. “Hmm. Seems my little psychology lessons have finally paid off. Reading between the lies now, are we?”

“Very much,” he murmured, pulling her close again as the white comforter fell over both of them.

Giggles slipped from her lips.

eeeeek -- hope u enjoyed! please like, reblog & comment - id love to hear feedback🫶🏻

[headspacedad]

My Husband Hides His Beauty

All right. When I first started getting into manhwas this was one of the first ones I read and I blame it for about 40% of me getting hooked on this form of entertainment. The story goes like this.

Leticia, young orphan girl, despised by the branch family that took her in when her parents died, is shipped off to the Lord of Halstead in the Demon Lands to be his child bride. While the family has 'legitimate' daughters, the Lord of Halstead is said to be more demon than man and that seeing his face is enough to drive anyone mad. So Leticia is packed up and shipped to the frozen North, a land swarming with demons to a castle that's rumored to be even more terrifying than the creatures that hunt outside its walls. Attacked by demons and abandoned by her escort before she even makes it to the castle - Leticia meets her terrifying future husband for the first time.

A terrifying husband that turns out to be both younger than she'd expected - and much kinder as well.

The Lord of Halstead's name is Erden. His plan was to get engaged to whoever was sent to him so that the contract was fulfilled.

And then to immediately divorce them and send them back to their family.

Hearing that Leticia was forced to come however, he changes his mind. Instead, he gives her the choice - follow his original plan - or stay with him in the North under his protection as her husband until she comes of age when she will be old enough to be independent on her own and divorce then. Having been treated with nothing but kindness since she arrived, Leticia decides to stay.

She's not entirely helpless either though. Leticia has a secret. She remembers her past life in the modern day real world. And, since she's come to the North, things from that world are starting to leak through into this one. And Leticia not only recognizes but knows how to use these mysterious objects - like cans of butane gas.

Multiple years later, Leticia has become the Lady of the castle, beloved by its people and its staunch defender while Erden has finally returned from a quest to find the source of the mysterious items Leticia alone knows how to use. Reunited as adults, Erden is completely smitten with his wife - who his enemies have started calling the Witch of the North. Leticia loves her life in Halstead, is adored by the people of the castle and is VERY pleased with her sweet, gentle, supportive husband.

The problem is -

Erden is hideous - and he knows that Leticia deserves so much better than both him and his beleaguered kingdom. The divorce papers are filled out and presented.

Leticia promptly loses them.

Okay, so this set up alone is a delicious story to me. Leticia is no push-over, a clever, cunning, bubbly girl who has what she wants and isn't about to let anyone take it away from her, including her sweet husband. Erden is all about the quiet longing for someone he can't have shouldn't accept and is in awe of his adorable wife and her cleverness. The castle inhabitants, especially the three grannies, are Not About to Let the Lord Lose His Wife no matter how hard he tries.

But it gets better.

Because manhwa titles tend to give away the punch-line and Erden

Erden is K-pop idol hot!

It turns out his family has a curse on them - to themselves they appear completely hideous. And if anyone ever tells them otherwise, they die a death in excruciating agony.

So now we've got a curse to solve as well as the mystery of the modern day objects to figure out. But that's not all!

Because we haven't even gotten to the high ranking demons Leticia and Erden are going to have to face and defeat with the Power of -

Late Stage Capitalism!?

That's right. High ranking demons aren't someone you can wack with a sword. If you want to defeat them you've got to beat them by being more cunning than they are. And Leticia? Oh, Leticia understands the power of Pyramid Schemes, Manipulating the Market and False Information as well as Fine Print. The demons don't stand a chance!

Look, seriously, this story is SO well done. It's got multiple plots going on and all of them are interesting and well paced without overwhelming each other. But what really carries the story for me is the relationship between Leticia and Erden. They're such a power couple and so gentle and sweet with each other. Leticia's a fire-cracker and Erden's her mountain refuge and when they work together they're like harmonizing music. The cuteness is delightful, the heartbreaking scenes know how to twist your emotions and their faith in each other is unshakeable. There's no love triangle here - unless you count the dragon. Just - this story is a master class in how to keep a long story with a single long running relationship at its core interesting all the way through. The final Boss Fight was a little mild but it didn't interfere with my enjoyment of the story at all and everything wrapped up well. I lost a LOT of sleep staying up to read the next chapter of this story. If you're just getting into manhwa I cannot recommend this one highly enough - its a classic or should be.

rating: PG

warnings: blood, death, self-esteem, child endangerment and abandonment, parental death, late stage capitalism, demons, slavery, dangerous puppy eyes

finished: YES!!

abs?: for a man that wears thigh highs and a VERY obvious slave collar its not until chapter 64, when his wife is trying to forceably strip him down that you get abs

ps. when Erden takes the mask off his father's statue - and you see what's carved underneath - it smacks you right in the chest.

[witchygagirlwrites]

Together

Jay Halstead x Reader

You push people away. It's how you cope. Only a chosen few has managed to stick around. Jay is going to prove he's not going anywhere.

You were pulling away. You could feel it and knew Jay could too. The problem? You didn’t know how to not pull away. That little voice in your head that was so damn sure and strong when it came to work was so damn quiet and uncertain when it came to yourself. You loved Jay. You knew that with every fiber of your being but that damn little voice kept whispering “He can do better than you and he's going to figure it out”

As much as you didn't want to lose him as your lover, the thought of losing him as your friend hurt worse. He'd always been there as a cornerstone when you needed him.

When Voight suggested changing partners around you'd seen the fact that Jay wanted to argue written plainly in his eyes but you spoke up and said “I agree Sarge. It's good to switch it up every now and then”

You were partnered with Adam, Kim with Jay and Hailey with Kevin. It was a big change from the usual team but all of you worked well enough together, had for years.

While you were all gearing up to roll out you saw Jay move towards you so you turned towards Hailey “Upton, check that rear strap for me?” She smiled “Of course” and readjusted it slightly then asked you to check hers too. At least by her asking you it didn't just look like you were avoiding Jay, even if he looked like a kicked puppy when you met his eyes.

“Everyone knows what you should be doing. Come home in one piece” Voight said looking around at all of you. You each nodded in turn. You grabbed your long gun then winked at Kim “Don't worry babe. I got your fella’s back” she grinned “I know you do. I got Jay's”

You smiled slightly and Kevin cleared his throat “and Hailey’s got mine if yall care” your smile turned into a full grin as you cut your eyes at him “You know I care Atwater. Anything happen to you I'm fighting the ferrymen to bring you back myself” he grinned “My girl” and bumped his shoulder against yours.

Voight shook his head but you saw a small grin “Do your damn jobs” with that he dismissed you so you rolled out. It was a quick snatch and grab. You wouldn't say nothing should go wrong because you knew your job, anything could go wrong but it should be fairly easy.

The snatch and grab went down just as planned thankfully. Six arrests were successfully made.

You were walking out of the precinct when you heard Jay call your name so you stopped and turned to see him walking towards you with one of those smiles that always made your heart flip “Hey baby. You want to go get a drink or some food or something?”

You shrugged “I'm kinda tired honestly. I was going to just go home and crash” he nodded “I can bring takeout?” He looked so damn hopeful but that voice in your head wouldn't shut up for two fucking seconds screaming about how bad it's gonna hurt if you let yourself love him as deeply as you wanted to just for him to walk away.

“It's fine honey. Um raincheck for tomorrow?” He nodded, his face falling slightly. “Ok, did I do something?” You shook your head “No, why?” he motioned back to the precinct “I've seen you stand toe to toe with Voight over trying to make you partner with anyone else and today you agreed. You haven't wanted to go out or let me come over in days. Baby is there someone else?”

Your eyes widened slightly “What?” He shrugged “I don't know here. I mean we were doing good, I thought. Is it because we had sex? Are you pulling away because of that?” You shook your head, trying not to let your eyes tear up “No Jay, of course not. Sex with you is fucking amazing”

He grinned slightly “Then why have you barely let me kiss you all week?” You shrugged and opened your mouth to say something then clamped it back “I don't want to talk here. Can you grab the takeout?” He nodded “I'll be over in a few ok?” “Ok” he took a step closer and when you didn't pull away he pressed a kiss to your temple.

You sat on your couch, waiting for Jay to knock. When he did you were up and on your feet without thinking. You opened the door to let him in and he walked in carrying the takeout bags “I got Chinese”

He walked into your kitchen as you closed and locked the front door and you heard him putting the take out trays across the counter and throwing the plastic bag into your recycling bin before he walked back into the living room, shedding his jacket and walking over to you.

He stopped just shy of you and raised one eyebrow, silently asking permission. You stepped closer to him, slipping your arms around his waist and he pulled you against his chest “There's my girl. I was wondering where she went”

You cut your eyes up at him “I'm sorry I pushed you away Jay. It's just I think I realized I was falling in love with you and I freaked out because I don't even know why you're with me and…” you were cut off by him kissing you like he was a drowning man and you were the last taste of air.

You moaned lightly against his lips and when he finally pulled away both of you were breathing a little harder “You love me?” He asked and you nodded “I do” he grinned “Good, because I love you but get it straight from here on there will be no pushing me away. You try to push me? I'll grab you and pin you to a wall. We're in this together” you chuckled lightly “You just used you pinning me to a wall as a threat. That is a fantasy Halstead”

He smirked “Oh yeah? Well baby I can make that reality right now. Just tell me you love me one more time” you smiled “I love you Jay” he groaned lightly and leaned down far enough to pick you up, forcing you to wrap your legs around his waist “I've went the last week and a half barely touching you. I'm making up for it tonight”

[deanstead]

Low Effort

Pairing: Jay Halstead x Reader

Requested: no

Summary: Y/N gets a surprise visit, which triggers some unpleasant symptoms

Word Count: 1k+

Tags/Warnings: mentions of stomach cramps, slight allusion to anxiety, negative emotions

A/N: Long time no see! This is a thing I needed to get off my chest and needed to get the emotions out, so it’s just some Jay comfort/fluff. Also, a warning that I haven’t written in so long, this kind of feels a bit meh, so I hope I haven’t lost too much of my writing touch LOL

JAY HALSTEAD MASTERLIST

You closed your laptop shut, just as your phone lit up with a notification about a new message from Jay.

Sorry, got held up. 10 minutes. Tops.

You smiled, typing a quick response of acknowledgment to tell him not to hurry before you got up, grabbing your bag. You were too fried to continue anything else so you figured you would just go and wait for him. Fresh air was better than whatever was coming through the office vents.

As the glass doors of the main entrance on the first floor slid open and you felt the chill of the Chicago winds hit your face, you sighed. Fresh air was definitely better.

“Y/N.”

You glanced up, your eyebrows naturally bunching together at the sound of a woman’s voice.

As your eyes met hers, you froze for a moment, your brain still processing the fact that she was here.

“Amy?” Her name slipped past your lips before you could stop yourself, even though the only emotion you were feeling at this moment was surprise. There was nothing positive or negative about it.

Amy could feel it in your voice as well. “Can we talk? I’ve missed you.”

You frowned as a cramp shot through your lower abdomen.

“I thought we were better friends than this. Low-maintenance, remember?” Amy said, and you could hear the tone in her voice, the one she used when she was upset or disappointed.

The feeling of indignation shot through you once again.

“Yeah, low maintenance, not low effort.”

Your voice was low but you didn’t let the emotion sway it. You spent years telling yourself that it was just a low-maintenance friendship, that you were both just busy, but you couldn’t ignore the way she’d reappear in front of you only when she needed your support, or when the guy she was seeing was out of town.

You glanced up at the street but hadn’t seen Jay’s car yet.

You exhaled. “Look, Amy. You have your priorities, I get it. Just don’t expect me to drop mine when you blow back into town or when your boyfriend doesn’t have time for you. It doesn’t work that way.”

You felt the cramps intensify and knew what it was. You called it “emotional cramps” with Jay, joking that as long as he kept you happy you’d be fine. Yet, here they were again. Maybe it was because you hadn’t had them in a while, you felt them more intensely now.

You put a hand on your stomach as you looked up at Amy. As expected, she had an indignant look on her face.

“How could you say that, Y/N? I know the fact that I was seeing Trevor was a sore spot with you because you weren’t seeing anyone so I didn’t want to make things harder for you. But now…”

You couldn't even respond as the pain ripped through you once again and you bent forward slightly, your knees buckling a little. You braced yourself for the impact of your knees hitting the concrete sidewalk when you felt his arms around you.

“Babe, what’s wrong?”

Jay.

Amy seemed stunned for a moment before she spoke again, “It must be her…”

“Why’s it acting up?” Jay asked, his entire focus on you as you glanced up at him and quietly shook your head.

Jay glanced up at Amy. They didn’t know each other since you’d met Jay sometime after contact between you and Amy had dwindled to almost nothing. By the time you and Jay had started dating, you’d made up your mind to let go of Amy and this friendship, and it had merely nagged at you a little at the back of your mind from time to time so you hadn’t brought her up.

“Come on, we’re going to Med,” Jay said quietly, pulling you upright.

You glanced at him. “Don’t you dare carry me,” You warned.

Despite the worried look in his eyes, Jay smiled. “We’re going to Will.” He repeated, almost like he was daring you to argue.

You didn’t argue. Partly because all you wanted to do was get out of there but partly because you knew it was useless. Besides, the pain was more intense than you remembered.

Without a second glance back, Jay helped you into the car and drove off, both of you leaving Amy still standing on the sidewalk.

You knew what had triggered the attack, so after getting medication for the pain and cramping, you’d been feeling much better.

“You know I’d be feeling even better if you would stop hovering, Detective.” You said, directing the comment at your boyfriend.

Will smiled as he tapped on the iPad in his hand and glanced at his brother. “She’s fine. Her tests are normal, and it was probably just a one-off stress-related attack.”

You nodded. “I’ll follow up with my therapist, I promise.”

Will ruffled your hair affectionately and you growled because he knew you hated it.

“I’ll get the discharge started.”

Jay was quiet as he leaned over you, pressing a gentle kiss to your forehead. “You sure you’re okay?”

You nodded, before you glanced back down.

“Amy’s an old friend.” You said, after a while. "At least, she was."

Jay didn’t say anything, so you continued, telling him about how Amy was when she started dating anyone, and it only progressively got worse. “And it’s not about seeing her often, you know? It’s just…”

Jay nodded. “You didn’t feel like she cared.”

You sighed quietly. “I just… it got to a point where I realized she didn’t care. I was a friend when she needed me, and when she didn’t, I just… didn’t exist. And apparently, to her, that’s me being sore.”

Jay just took your hand in his, gently stroking your fingers.

“But I just realized it was better to have no one than to be treated that way, so I just…”

“You don’t have to explain anything to me,” Jay said quietly. “Listen, someone who gives you low effort doesn’t deserve you. I don’t care who they are. Anyone who makes you feel this way doesn’t deserve even one percent of you.”

You looked up at him and smiled, a little sadness hidden behind it.

“I guess seeing her today just brought it all back, you know? And then it triggered all those emotions and then my stomach cramps decided to join the party.” You made a face.

Jay smiled quietly back at you. “But you know what? You’re not alone. At least not anymore.”

You smiled and leaned forward for a hug. Jay perched by the edge of the bed, pulling you gently into his arms and you buried your face into his shoulders, feeling his arms encircle your entire body.

“I know.” You whispered.

Jay kissed the top of your head. “Good.”

THANK YOU FOR READING!! PLEASE TELL ME WHAT YOU THOUGHT OF THIS!!

If you want to support me, buy me a coffee!

[escapingrealtiylovinginsanity]

Who is a girl dad and who is a boy dad: Matt Casey, Kelly Severide, Brian Otis Zvonecek, Jeff Clarke, Sam Carver, Will Halstead, Ethan Choi, Connor Rhodes, Crockett Marcel, Jay Halstead, Adam Ruzek & Antonio Dawson?

Before I answer this I want to remind everyone that I don't currently write for Chicago Fire. I probably won't ever do reader inserts for it just because I'm not a huge fan and I feel like that show died a painful death around season 4. But I will attempt some of the headcannons that hit me the right way. This one was just too fun to pass up.

I didn't do Sam Carver-Sorry I didn't make it to season 11- I stopped at 6/7ish.

I also want to say of course I think they would be good with the other gender too. I just wanted to pick one to be fair to the question. I spent way to much time on this and made them way longer than necessary lol. Hope ya'll enjoy and thanks for the ask <3

Will Halstead: Boy Dad!

I think Will needs to have a son. I think raising a mini version of himself is exactly what the doctor ordered (pun completely intended). We all know that Will has a stubborn streak a country mile wide and that when he gets an idea in his head, he can't let it go. Could you imagine that in child form? His red headed little boy going through a stubborn streak where is sure that any green food is icky because he didn't like peas. How about when he wears his basketball shoes to bed every night of the season because he is sure if he doesn't his team will lose? A son would teach Will to be more flexible in his viewpoint because his son will challenge his- well everything. The questions his little boy will ask with have Will rethinking things he never thought to question.

The main reason I think Will needs a son is that he can heal the wounds his dad carved into him. He gets to understand the struggles of raising a child with a personality like his own. It helps him better understand his father's frustration but he also never felt more disconnected from the man. Because Will could never understand the need to make his child feel the way he did growing up. Disconnected and a disappointment. Will raises his son the way he would have wanted to be raised- with understanding, acceptance, and praise. No one is prouder of their son than Will Halstead is. And with all that love, attention, and support Will gets to see his son not only live his life but thrive in it.

Ethan Choi: Girl Dad!

I don't think that surprised anyone. Ethan is a hardass veteran. He is all structure all the time. He kept getting better as time when on but you know what would push him along and make him absolutely melt? A little girl with dark hair and lashes. He thinks he will be a strict parent-and when it comes to school and safety he is. She will learn how to protect herself and have good enough grades to do anything she wants when she graduates.

But when it comes down to the little things Ethan has a hard time saying no to his little girl. Because she is warmth and innocence. She is the biggest smiles and climbing onto his lap to cuddle. So does it really matter if her clothes don't match because she loves them. And who really cares if they have dessert before dinner on occasion. And how can anyone say no to her staying up late so that they can have father daughter time- even if it is just them rewatching Star Wars for the millionth time.

Connor Rhodes: Girl Dad!

Connor absolutely spoils his little girl- not with money- but with attention. He doesn't want a nanny or money raising his baby. From the very beginning he makes a promise not to miss a single doctor's appointment and he nearly keeps it too- an emergency trauma caused him to miss one ultrasound. He takes the full paternal leave that is offered through work to bond with his blue-eyed little girl. He barely puts her down not wanting to miss a minute. His daughter is the biggest daddy's girl. Her first word is dadda and she says it nonstop for almost a month.

When he goes back to work, he books mandatory time with his daughter. He goes to at least three tea parties a week. When she gets a little older, they share a hobby of making food. It starts out with her helping him cook and trying recipes together. When she starts forming a preference for baking the dynamic changes slightly. They teach each other recipes and are a dynamic dinner duo. There are some growing pains. Connor struggles with his little girl not needing him anymore. He has tears in his eyes when she tells him, "I will always need you daddy."

Crockett Marcel: Girl Dad! (This is also just true to the show)

Crockett cherished every moment with his little girl. When she is a newborn, he holds her constantly and lets her sleep on his chest. Then he starts using a baby wrap to carry his daughter and be hands free. The long stretchy cloth was supposed to be a gag gift and obnoxiously bright fluorescent colors with a bold feminine print, but Marcel wears it with a smile. (It was a gift from Ethan to welcome him into the girl dad club. He included a gray one too, but Marcel only wears the bright on around work and his collogues.) The constant affection because a habit and his little girl has a hard time falling asleep anywhere but daddy's chest.

Crockett is a constant picture taker as his daughter grows. He phone memory is maxed out with pictures of her. He teaches her to speak Farsi. Every important or emotion filled conversation between the two is spoken in Farsi. Every tragedy, accomplishment, argument, exciting news, heartbreak and success. There is a comfort in words and bond the word share between the pair.

Jay Halstead: Girl Dad!

Jay fully embraces being a girl dad. He dresses her in the cute girly outfits. He learned how to take care of and do her hair. He never found a braid or hairstyle he couldn't master that his little girl wanted. He even kept extra hair ties in his wallet because she was constantly loosing or breaking them. He let her paint his nails bright pink and yellow while he watched the sea hawk's game. He always got up to do the dance parties and twirl her around. He never complained about playing dress up or wearing a taira or a brightly colored feather boa. And he was always willing to give up his half of the bed so that she could cuddle up with him after a nightmare or just because she got lonely in her room by herself.

Jay is a supportive dad. He does everything in his power to give his daughter the confidence to do anything and everything that she wants to. He wants her to feel safe enough at home that she can be daring (but not unsafe) in her choices. She can go against the grain, and he will still be proud of her. He supports her when she wants to play softball instead of do ballet. Then supports her when she decides that she like science and then when she hates it. He just smiles and buys her lava soap and Gojo pumice hand cleaner when she decides to take an automotive class instead of economics. The only thing that Jay struggles to be supportive of is when his little girl starts dating. He reconned her first date he watched her twist the guys wrist back when he tried to grab her butt then storms away after giving him a piece of her mind. Jay is proud of her boundaries but feels guilty for spying- even though he didn't get caught. He stops spying on dates but can never stop himself from giving them the talk with his gun and badge on his hip (Even well into her twenties).

Adam Ruzek: Boy Dad!

Adam had a good relationship with his dad growing up. He knows what a good dad looks like. His father sacrificed a fulfilling career to be able to be there for his son. Adam struggles with not being able to do the same. He misses games and holidays. His son says he understands but it is clear in his eye that his is disappointed when Adam doesn't show. But he makes up for it because when Adam is there- his all in. He helps his son practice his slap shot and cheers the loudest at his son's hockey games, he helps him with homework (even when he doesn't understand it and has to google it, gives him advice on girls (even when he doesn't want it), and checks him when he needs it.

It takes a lot for Adam to hard check his son. His son is a good kid- even if he does tell him at 10pm that he needs a posterboard for his school project that is due the next day and it is worth 1/3 of his grade. But when his son vandalizes a store with an Asian owner to get in with the "cool" crowd Adam loses his shit. He might even be madder than the store owner. His son thinks he is kidding about the consequences- Adam is a cop surely, he can get him out of trouble. Adam makes him stay 24 hours in holding, then has to apologize to the store owner. The owner doesn't press charges. He has to clean up his mess and the rest of the store and work to pay off any damages- even those caused by his "friends", and he is grounded indefinitely. His son learns the lesson the hard way, but it sticks with the added bonus of falling for the storekeeper's daughter.

Antonio Dawson: I cheated with this one because he actually has a son and a daughter. So instead of picking I'm doing a paragraph for each.

Antonio is from a large tight knit family for better or for worse. That means for the first few months his fighting to be the one that gets to hold his little girl. He practically has to steal her from his mom, Gabby, and all the other female relatives. The only thing that is to his advantage is that his little girl loves him. Whenever she sees him she is always saying and reaching for daddy. She is a beautiful, happy baby with dark curls and brown eyes. Antonio buys a new gun and then another, and then another. He figures he will need them all by the time she finally finds someone worthy of her to settle down with.

Antonio raises his son with the expectation that someday he will be the man of the house. He wants his son to know responsibility and how to take care of himself and other. To stick up not only for himself but for others that can't. He teaches his son to be aware (but not fearful) of his surroundings. Antonio's son takes all of it to heart. When Antonio gets a call that his son had laid out a bully for teasing a shy bookish girl. Antonio doesn't scold his son whose suspension ends up being more of a vacation. He just asks if he put his weight behind it and pats his son on the shoulder when he said he had. When the shy girl starts coming over to help his son with his homework almost every day, he isn't surprised to walk in on them making out on his couch. He is, however, surprised when his son brings her to his boxing gym to show off and that shy little girl throws one hell of a punch.

Greg "Mouse" Gerwitz: Girl Dad! (I added this one)

When he finds out that you are pregnant Mouse is afraid when he finds out that the baby is a girl, he is terrified. His daughter is so small and fragile. When she is placed gently in his arms his world changes. He has spent enough time at war to know that it is always the woman and girls that are at most risk. How could he possibly protect her from everything when there were so many bad people in the word. Mouse dotes on his little girl but keeps her close. He has worries that civil fathers don't. When she becomes weary of other people and children at age two clinging to his leg he wonders if it was his fear that was passed onto her. Even when people assure him that it was the typical age for stranger danger. Mouse painstakingly (and with Jay's help) starts to change his behavior. He doesn't want his little girl to have the anxiety and hypervigilance that he has to deal with. As Mouse eases up he watches his little girl's personality bloom.

She gets downright spunky. She is curious too. She learns technology with a swift ease. She spends a good deal of time on her daddy's lap and the clicking of a keyboard is relaxing. Mouse had found that it could help put her to sleep even on her crankiest days. He doesn't scold her when she starts taking things apart to put them back together. And while he does help and assist, he swears his daughter picks up most of her coding knowledge from just watching him. As she gets older he starts hacking her computer and phone to leave her cute little messages. When she is a teenager, she finally manages to hack his highly secured system back (She had the advantage of him being the one who taught her) When she goes to Tech school she is leaps and bond ahead of her classmates. Nobody is surprised when she ends up on government watch list and is soon offered a job. They want her on their side.

Matt Casey: Boy Dad!

Matt's son is his little buddy. Matt has wanted a baby for so many years that he is ecstatic when last little bundle is put in his arms. He does everything he can with his son and his son wants to do everything he does. He is his son's idol. He always wants to be at the fire house. He dresses up as a firefighter for Halloween for five years straight as kid.

Matt tries unsuccessful to keep his sons interested broad. He wants his son to at least consider other options, maybe going to college. His son is hellbent on going on being a firefighter. And Matt stops pushing after he threatens to go to the police academy instead. His son excel at during his training and Matt is so proud when his son graduates the academy.

Kelly Severide: Boy Dad!

Kelly's son is a mini version of him. Full of energy, testosterone, and charm. Kelly raises him with good manners, treat woman right, and to be respectful of authority. He also teaches him to question and act when the authority isn't doing their job, or something doesn't make sense of needs to be changed. Kelly's son is popular and plays football. Kelly goes to every game, and he know his son has a real chance at football scholarship but knows he is does not want to further his education and that he wants to follow in Kelly's footsteps to be a firefighter.

Kelly's son is a player. He goes through the girls in his high school (and multiple others). Kelly doesn't say anything- how could he when he had his own Casanova phase that took up a large portion of his life. His son should have fun as long as he is using protection. His son never brings any of them home for him to meet. None can seem to hold his son fickle attention. When his phone rings at midnight he expects a slurred request for a pickup not a fully sobered "I found her."

Jeff Clarke: Girl Dad!

Jeff's daughter is his princess. She is a tenderhearted happy little girl. He calls her the light of his life. They live in Hawaii, so everything is a slower pace. Jeff gets to enjoy the time with his daughter with nothing to rush him. They spend hours in the sun and on the beach playing in the sandy and splashing in the waves.

When his daughter is five, she demands to learn how to surf after a friend takes her out on their board. Jeff thinks it might be a phase- her just wanted to do it because she sees it every day. It becomes apparent very quickly that isn't the case. His little girl loves the ocean and asks him to go nearly every day. Jeff does one better than just taking her and learns how to surf too so they can do it together. He isn't great and she is much better, but she loves going out with him. He just loves seeing her so happy and at peace. It doesn't hurt that it he can keep an eye on the surfer boys that get more and more interested in her as she not only gets older but better on her board.

Brain "Otis" Zvonecek: Boy Dad!

Otis is a nerdy dad. He is the dad that does the Starter Pokémon test when he started to crawl (Charmander) and pick his Hogwarts house (Hufflepuff). Otis starts him young on all the classic movies and shows. Otis buys Legos for the two of them to build together (way before his old enough to really help. Otis reads to his on every night that he gets to put him to sleep. They start with short stories but as he gets older, they quickly switch to chapter books and Manga.

Otis doesn't know what to do when his son starts having trouble in school. When he is told that his son has a learning disability, he doesn't know what to do. Otis never had a hard time with academics he blew through his classes without much effort. He can see the absolute frustration in his sons face when he is struggling to read. Otis tries to help but his son, but it only seems to create more friction making the problem even bigger. The break though comes when Otis finds out his son's anger is a cover for his embarrassment and feeling like a disappointment. When his son accuses him of thinking he is stupid Otis' heart shatters. His eyes are water when he tells his son that he is one of the smartest people he knows- he just learns different his son breaks down and hugs him tightly.

[thestarrynightslover]

Second Time Is the Charm

Pairing: Jay Halstead x Reader

Word count: 1,211

Warnings: None, just fluff.

Summary: Jay meets the Reader, Hailey's best friend, when she's meeting Molly's for the first time after having moved back to Chicago.

Disclaimer: I don’t own any of the One Chicago shows, or its characters, also not associated with it in any way, or know anyone involved with it.

A/N: Still not in my best writing but I hope you like it!

(y/n) = (your name) (y/l/n) = (your last name) (y/n/n) = (your nickname)

| mastelist |

"Hey, guys! This is my best friend, (y/n) (y/l/n), who I told you about! She just moved to the city a few weeks ago, so, be nice!" You heard your long-time friend, Hailey, warn her coworkers, who she always swore by to be some of the very best people in Chicago.

"Whatcha sayin', Detective Upton? I'm always nice!" a tall guy, who you recognized as being the one Hailey'd had a fling with some time ago, exclaimed, feigning offense.

They all are very sympathetic to you and you can see how they managed to get Hailey's friendship so easily. But there is one person who stands out from the rest of the group. And you just can't help yourself but to stare at the handsome guy who Hailey said is her partner. The famous Jay Halstead. You do know that it's impolite to basically ogle him like that but you. Just. Can't. Stop. He might just be the most beautiful man you've ever seen and that's saying a lot since you'd already lived in many places and had already met lots of hot guys.

Maybe you were dreaming or something but it seemed like he, too, was taking a few glances at you. But you must've been imagining 'cause he never made a single move your way — not that you were dealing any better with this sort of crush.

The hours ticked by faster than anyone there would've imagined with all the friendly chit-chat and the stories being told but, when you noticed the time, you decided it was time to go home, so you announced: "Hey, guys, thanks a lot for tonight! It was really nice meeting you all, I had a blast! But now I think I'mma head home."

"What? No! I can drive you there later," Adam started but you cut him off:

"No need for that, really. I live nearby and the walk home is gonna be good for me!"

"But going alone this time of night…" Kevin trailed off.

"Well I was thinking about heading home too and I'm also gonna walk. So maybe we can go together?" Jay asked, speaking directly to you for the first time in the whole night.

Not really knowing how to politely decline that one, you accepted: "Oh, um, okay, that'd be nice."

"It's really nice of yours to offer to walk me home, Jay. Thank you again." You said in an attempt to break the ice.

"Yeah, no problem. You know I like making myself available for the community!" He said with a wink? Was Hailey's partner seriously trying to flirt with you? "So, back at Molly's everyone explored a lot why you came back to Chicago but I wanna know what made you leave it in the first place, 'cause you went to college here, with Hailey, right?"

"Uh… yeah, we were roommates, actually. But I left for many reasons, the main one being a wish to see what the world had to offer. Which wasn't very hard since I can easily get a job pretty much anywhere I want…" You answered, leaving out the part about how your ex had humiliated you into leaving the city just to put as much distance between the two of you as possible.

"Hmmm, I see. But you said work had you moving back?"

"Yeah, well this was an exception because I was being offered a better position in case I came here." And because now you'd already gotten over what happened with your ex.

"Then which one is your favorite city so far?" There he got you, you always had a hard time picking favorites…

"Hmmm, maybe Amsterdam?" You thought that it would be a smooth way to do some flirting of your own. "It can be a very romantic city…" You started, "and I've always seen myself as a romantic, hopeless or not…"

"Oh, is that right?" The detective asked.

"Yeah, well, what can I say if everything romance just makes me happy?" You said, looking up brightly at him. Before he could muster up an answer though, you realized where you were, "Oh, that's my building right there!" You exclaimed pointing at the building across the street. But just as you said it you found yourself being sweetly and longingly kissed by Jay, which caught you completely off guard.

"So…" You started without really knowing how to continue after the kiss.

"So…" He imitated while nervously scratching the back of his neck. "I guess it was a bit awkward to just kiss you like that-"

"No! I, uh, I liked it!" Gosh, you sounded like a teenager, " I mean it wasn't bad or anything."

"Then maybe you'd be okay with giving me your number?" He asked.

"Yeah, sure!" Once again, teenager, dammit! "I, uh, what I mean is that I wouldn't mind it if you wanted to call me sometime, detective. You know, just making myself available for the community." You repeated his previous words with a wink.

"Huh! Careful with those empty promises, ma'am," Jay said playfully.

"Who said anything about empty?" You countered.

"Okay, then… Just know that you might be getting a call from me sooner rather than later." He half confessed while shaking his head.

"Looking forward to it!" You shot back and turned around to walk towards your building. Just as you were about to take the first step though, you decided to take a last glance at him, saying: "Have a good night, detective." He didn't answer, you didn't give him time to. But, as you were almost at the building's door, you heard your phone starting to ring and decided to pick up, since it wasn't very common for you to get calls at that time of night. "Hello?"

"Hi, uh, is this (y/n) (y/l/n)'s phone?" You heard Jay's amused voice on the other end of the line and instantly turned back around to see him, still standing on the other side of the street, purposely in your eyesight.

"Really?"

"You said to call at any time-"

"Hmmm…"

"And I just couldn't wait!"

"Are you making fun of me right now?"

"Not at all!" He quickly responded. "I am, actually, inviting you to grab coffee with me one of these days." At that, your heart started beating faster and you could only hope that he wasn't able to hear it through the phone. "Or, you know, lunch, dinner, whatever you prefer!"

"I, uh, I would love to, Jay." Was all you could answer, as the flirty banter suddenly seemed pointless. "I would love to grab coffee or lunch or dinner with you sometime!"

"Okay. That's, uh, that's great! So, maybe this Saturday? 9 o'clock?"

"Yeah, sure! That sounds good! Just let me know where you wanna me-"

"Nope, nuh-uh, that's not happening! Just be ready by then and prepare yourself to be surprised!"

"Jay, I-"

"Not taking no for an answer! Goodnight to you too, (y/n)." He said and hung up, waving at you as he continued his path. Meanwhile, you went upstairs thinking about Saturday and about how you'd snatched a guy like that on your third day back in the city. Maybe Chicago wasn't as bad as you remembered it anymore...

[sevasey51]

When Connor and YN first started dating her ex, that also works in the hospital starts spreading a rumor that she is only with Connor for his money. YN catches wind and confronts her ex and is EXTREMELY angry. Connor and Will have to make sure she doesn’t do anything stupid.

Rumors and Reckonings

Summary: YN confronts her ex after he spreads a hurtful rumor about her relationship with Connor, with both Connor and Will stepping in to support her.

YN had never been one to let gossip get under her skin, but this was different. She had just finished a long shift when she overheard two nurses whispering near the break room.

“Did you hear what Dr. Harper said?” one of them asked, glancing around. “Apparently, YN is only with Dr. Rhodes for his money.”

Her stomach twisted with rage. She knew exactly who had started this rumor—her ex, Dr. Harper, a smug, arrogant surgeon who had never quite gotten over their breakup. The fact that he had the audacity to spread lies about her made her blood boil.

Without hesitation, she stormed down the hall, pushing past startled colleagues until she found him leaning against the nurses’ station, chatting like he didn’t have a care in the world.

“You have got to be kidding me,” she seethed, crossing her arms tightly. “Are you seriously spreading rumors that I’m only with Connor for his money?”

Dr. Harper smirked, shrugging. “I mean, let’s be real, YN. You went from dating me to dating the hospital’s golden boy. Kind of a big upgrade, don’t you think?”

Her hands clenched into fists at her sides. “You were the downgrade, Harper. And for the record, I don’t need anyone’s money. I make my own.”

Before she could completely lose it and deck him in the middle of the hospital, a firm but familiar hand landed on her shoulder.

“Alright, that’s enough,” Connor’s voice was calm but laced with warning. He stood beside her, looking far more composed than she felt, but his clenched jaw and the fire in his eyes told her he was barely holding back his own anger. “You have something to say about me or my girlfriend, Harper?”

Harper hesitated for a moment, clearly re-evaluating his decision now that Connor was standing in front of him. “Just making an observation, Rhodes.”

“Yeah? Here’s another observation,” Connor said, stepping closer. “You’re a pathetic, bitter excuse for a man who can’t handle the fact that YN moved on to something better.”

Harper opened his mouth to respond, but before he could, another voice chimed in.

“Unless you want to be short a few teeth, I’d stop talking,” Will Halstead leaned casually against the nurses’ station, arms crossed. “Because I will let my sister throw that punch, and I won’t report a damn thing.”

Connor let out a low chuckle, squeezing YN’s shoulder before addressing her ex one last time. “This ends now, Harper. If I hear another word about YN from you, I won’t be nearly as patient next time.”

Harper mumbled something under his breath before slinking away, and YN exhaled, shaking off her lingering anger.

“You guys didn’t have to step in,” she muttered, though a small smile tugged at her lips.

Connor smirked, wrapping an arm around her waist. “No, but it was fun watching you almost go full Halstead on him.”

Will snorted. “I was kinda hoping you’d punch him, not gonna lie.”

YN laughed, shaking her head. As much as the rumors had pissed her off, she felt a whole lot better knowing that she had Connor and Will in her corner—always.

[countrymusiclover]

13 - Greatest Date Ever

Part 14

Dr. Redheaded Neighbor

Tag list - send an ask to be added @annieradcliff @watermeezer @zaidatorcuatomorgado @kmc1989 @tallrock35 @melvia-ito

Slipping on a light red dress that fell down to my ankles Will and I had called into work for the evening so that we could have the whole time to ourselves. Maxon was being watched at the Firehouse by Brett so we had no real worries. Hearing a knock on my door I pulled it open shaking my head at him. “You know you wouldn’t have to knock if we were living together.”

“I know but I like the idea of coming over and not knowing what you’re gonna wear on date night.” He chuckled standing in the doorway. “You look beautiful by the way.”

“You look nice too.” I eyed him and down dressed in some dark blue jeans and a black dress shirt. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him in a full on suit but I bet that is a sight to see for sure.

Will held out his hand for me to take. “So shall we head out for dinner?”

“We shall, Dr. Halstead.” Placing my hand in his he rolled his eyes.

“I’m not at work, Mal. Just call me Will.”

Clicking my tongue I closed my door and locked it behind us before we headed down to the lobby area of our apartment building. “Uh Will we might have a slight problem.”

“Shit!” He cursed under his breath running a hand through his hair. “This is not what I had planned for tonight at all.”

Raising a brow at the auburn haired man beside me. “What’s so special about tonight?”

“I wanted to take you out to dinner. I wanted to buy you your favorite dessert before we went to the fairs wheel that you’d told me you’d never been on. And then I’d - it’s not gonna be here. Come on.”

I giggled when he grabbed my hand dragging me back to the elevator and we headed right outside our apartment doors. “Will! What are we doing - what are you - oh my god.”

“Mallory, I know you haven’t been in my life since we were kids. But it feels like I’ve known you my whole life. You know me better than I’ll probably ever know myself. You are beautiful, smart and funny. And I’ll never get tired of your sarcastic remarks. But all in all, it’s your kind heart and love for helping people that drew me towards you and Maxon. So will you please marry me because I love you so much.” He had himself down on one knee with a tiny black box opened in his hands

Covering my mouth with my hand I laughed through happy tears I couldn’t truly believe this was happening right now. “Yes. Yes, Will.” He slides the ring on my left hand that he was holding onto.

Will rose up from the carpet floor kissing me deeply. “You’re not thinking we’re going too fast I’m guessing.”

“Not at all. Now kiss me, Halstead.” Looking up into his eyes I wrapped my arms around his neck bringing him in for another kiss. He wrapped his arms around my waist where we just held onto the other, deeply kissing and pulling at the clothing of the other until we broke the heated kisses for air.

Will held my face in his hands seeing a weak smile cross my face. “Hey, what’s wrong?”

“Will , I’m there’s something I need to tell you before we do anything further.” He nodded opening the door to his apartment where we stood near his bedroom after removing our coats and boots at the door.

“What do you need to me, Mallory?”

Closing my eyes I paused for a moment worried that he would laugh at me or worse. Regardless of him being my best friend I knew that he had slept with other girls. I mean he’s attractive and an ED doc at Med, what girl wouldn’t want to be sleep with him. “Will, I’ve never slept with anyone before. So, before we went any further as an engaged couple, I thought you should know that I’m a virgin.”

“Mallory don’t think for a minute that it’s a bad thing. You’ve been waiting for the right person.”

Draping my arms over his shoulders I sent him a genuine smile. “And now I have. It’s you, William Halstead.”

“You’re my person too, Mallory Easton.” He leans down cupping my face in his hands and I deepened the kiss threading one of my hands into his ginger hair.

I broke the heavy kiss nuzzling my nose with his whispering up to him. “Will, I – I want you to take my virginity tonight.”

“I’d say we should wait until the wedding night, Mal-“

Cutting him off I passionately kissed him, gripping the fabric of his dress shirt in between my fingers until I broke the kiss declaring to him. “I love you, Will. I don’t want to wait till the wedding night. I’m not worried we’re going too fast, we’ve spent a long time to get to this moment. So I wanna sleep with you tonight.”

He kissed me back passionately and he gently dropped me down to the bed. My back hit the soft silk sheets before I rose up from the bed staring at him softly and brought a hand to his cheek stroking it softly. He leaned into my touch, and he lifted his shirt over his head and threw it to the ground.

"I'll go slow with you." He reassured me, grabbing my hand with his. "We can stop anytime if you want. I don’t want to make you do anything you’re not comfortable with."

"I want to do this." I said, wishing my heart would stop beating so rapidly like I was scared.

My best friend still silently looked at me, slowly kicking his shoes off. "You're sure you wanna do this?”

"Yes. I want you to be my first." My hands started to trace his form, I began to run his fingers up and down his chest softly while I began to feel his hand start to crawl underneath my shirt. He lifted my shirt off my head, throwing it to the ground only once breaking the kiss

He hovered over me and brought his lips down upon mine. I wrapped my arms around his neck and embraced more into the kiss. I felt a hard rock positioned at my lower religion, he placed his member at my center and looked up at me. "Babe, this will hurt a little. Just tap my shoulder twice if you want to stop."

He nodded and aligned himself against me before thrusting into me softly , I hissed out in pain as I felt him breaking through my wall, tears began to well in my eyes. "I’m sorry, Mal. I promise once the pains gone you’ll enjoy it." He moved slowly against her, I bit down on my lip hard trying to bear through the pain.

Within moments I felt the pain suddenly vanish and began to feel pleasure. I began to move against him and leaned up pressing my lips down upon his. I came moaning out loudly as I felt a wave of pleasure come over me. He came seconds later as I felt him emptying inside of med, both moaning and groaning until we fell back onto the mattress together.

"Will, can I ask something of you now that I’m your fiancé?” I whispered cuddling up into his chest giving us time to catch our breath.

Will stopped moving his fingers through my tousled hair. “Anything.”

“I don’t want to wait for the off chance that I may or may not come back from serving for our country again. I want to marry you before I am deployed. I want to become your wife when I have to leave with Maxon. Can you do that for me?”

Will’s soft gaze scanned over my face before he touched the side of my face bringing my lips up upon his gently. “I’d want nothing more than to call you Mrs. Halstead as soon as possible.”

“There is one more thing that we need to take care of. I’m finally gonna have to meet your brother Jay.” We kissed for a few minutes until a thought came to my mind where I broke the kiss running my hands up his bare chest.

Will tilted his head suggesting a place to start. “How about we have him meet us at Molly’s?”

“That sounds like a great idea.” I grinned up at him before he placed his hands on my hips, rolling himself onto his back so I was on top. Connecting my lips with his again we got lost in one another for the rest of the evening.

[reidhalstead]

For: @hollowhearts-aoife

He hadn't been able to kill her. Even with his hand inside her chest, feeling out the bones and the stolen blood flowing as rivers through his fingers. After everything she'd done to him; tore him from his world, ripped his humanity from his soul. Reid will teeter on regret for the rest of his nights. Because he'd spared her, when she's the only monster he's wanted dead for so long. What's wrong with you? So fucking much, he decides, since emerging from the dank dark. Morality bends and wavers in ways it never has. He leans into being the thing he hates, rather than fighting against it. Thinks about those on the chessboard like players in his long game; she's better on his side of the war than anyone elses.

There's other monsters, like him, that deserve less of his troubled mercy.

Book's back in the same sick way Reid had once been. He's the only man who knows Halstead has been spending more nights in a motel than anywhere else. It's too dangerous to trust anyone else, not when he understands how quickly he can slip into the dark of everything being dimmed. Considerations and cares thrown to the wayside to fuel a hunger that has only gotten more vicious over the last months.

Narcisse Le Blanc is just a name to him. As Nisha Eleazar had been.

But it's not about him, or her. Because Reid realises he cannot kill his monster. But he can aim for someone else's.

Ink and Antiquity has something he wants. It's not just their first edition of a classic that he's seen they have in stock as of last week. A rare import, as detailed on their site. He'll never be able to afford it without talking nicely to the clerk, but if his research had been truthful. Reid knows that isn't something that'll ever fly. They're not the kind easily lulled into a comforting sense of compulsion. Especially not in the middle of the night.

Today he's just here for a book. Information about a book, even. Nothing more. Even if there's something hot tucked into his jeans, and hands stuffed in a jacket so they don't tempt to do anything else.

He's dialled down his humanity, just a notch on the dimmer switch when he enters, and begins to browse. There is a natural musk in every row, some ancient dust when he opens a discarded book on the side that's seen better days. Perhaps, it's about to come off sale. He scents coffee and cake in the back, the gentle clinks of customers being served whilst perusing the literature trove.

He bypasses the cashier and offers a cheeky smile. It's easier to feel less and less, staring at old ink on old leatherbound books. This place is nothing but a tomb. "I heard you had some imports last week. I've been meaning to come by, check out your stock." He presumes, for the more rare, delicate objects, they're not for sticky fingers out front, "You had an edition of one flew over the cuckoo's nest," Whilst not ancient or magical, he'd seen it at the bottom of a duffel bag. "Do you still have it?"

[hotchs-second-wife]

DON'T BLAME ME || 4 || Jay Halstead x Thea Rhodes

Synopsis: Theodosia Rhodes, the youngest daughter of a big-time Chicago CEO, needs a husband of her own choice before her father makes that decision for her. Jason Halstead, newly-made Intelligence detective, needs a wife to inherit his portion of his mother's inheritance.

Warnings: Allusion to smut, but nothing outright excluding sexual thoughts. Mentions of arson, kidnapping, murder, rape; allusion to childhood trauma, suicide, cancer-related death; descriptions of vehicular accidents including, but not limited to, car-on-car collision, car-on-truck, train; outright familial/parental pressure; portrayal of misogyny and misandry; Elli's speech downgrades and upgrades a lot because I'm not around kids 24/7 (thank god). Read ahead at your own risk.

THEA

The socialites I grew up with always were—and likely always would be—gossip mongers. When they weren't out spending Daddy Dear's money, they gossiped about the lives of others.

Half speculated Jay had gotten me pregnant, and to keep up Dolan Rhodes' public image, he married me so the child wouldn't be born out of wedlock. The other half suspected he was after my money—why else would a "no-good rat with nothing to show" marry into one of the most prominent businesses in Chicago?

Most Chicago socialites shared one braincell and smarts rarely worked in that one cell. Most, because I still had good friends from high school that were smarter to think I was pregnant, or my husband wanted my money. Especially a detective.

Jay was a kind man, better than half of high society's socialite boyfriends or fiancès. At least he had some decency to make it clear he didn't love me like a husband should, nor would he take advantage of the fact we were married to get into my pants.

"You know if I was him, I would've slept with you in an instant." Shay insisted, leaning against the back of the sofa as I scrolled through articles on my laptop. I'd originally been ordering new air masks for the team, but Shay wanted to snoop on the society I grew up in.

Gabby snorted, "you would've slept with Teddy even if you weren't married to her."

I had to agree with her. While I was into women, Shay was too close for me to think about a romantic relationship with, even just as friends-with-benefits. And considering we worked together, things would've ended awkwardly in the long run. We both knew that.

"Told you he was a good one." Gabby pointed at me. "Makes a good husband by the sound of it, and your family's alright with him. Your sister likes him, and your father hasn't said anything."

"Because he knows I'd just ignore him. As far as he's concerned, I'm in love with Jay." I snorted, turning back to my laptop. "Nothing beats a love match in high society."

Otis pointed at the articles popping up at the bottom of the website open. "You didn't say you're an heiress."

DOLAN RHODES HEIRESS FINALLY MARRIED.

RHODES HEIRESS MARRIED TO A DETECTIVE.

WHO IS DET. JAY HALSTEAD? WHY HAVE WE NEVER HEARD OF HIM?

The last title piqued Cruz and Otis' interest, both nagging me to click on it. As we do, photos the press took from the wedding infiltrate the screen.

"The wedding Theodosia Rhodes and Jason Halstead has been the talk of Chicago lately, with many speculating that Detective Halstead married into the Rhodes family for a piece of the money. Why else would a Canaryville native marry one of the richest young women in Illinois?" Cruz read out loud.

"Because he needed a wife?" Gabby deadpanned.

Cruz continued. "Dolan Rhodes doesn't hire just anyone. Marrying the second child of CEO Cornelius Rhodes would certainly give Detective Halstead the jump into getting his own store.

And let's not forget the dramatic difference on childhoods between the married couple. Detective Halstead grew up with one older brother in Canaryville, while Lieutenant Rhodes grew up as the older of two twins with an older sister. Rhodes' mother died by suicide when she and her twin brother were only ten years old, and Halstead's mother passed when he was 23 and deployed."

"Of course, my mother is brought up again." I grunted, sitting back as Otis took my laptop.

"Detective Halstead is made out to be a loving husband, but would he be there if something happens to the lieutenant?"

"Like any of these pampered poodles would be there if something happened," I rolled my eyes, watching Mouch jump channels.

Most calls happened during the day—people were awake then, and more likely to get in trouble. So we had the night to ourselves.

Which, with firefighters, meant sleeping.

Unless you were a 20-something newly-married lieutenant with a pile of paperwork to do that should have been done when you were on your honeymoon, but wasn't.

I needed popcorn to get me through it, since having Pride and Prejudice playing on my computer required popcorn. I knew we had some left over from a few days ago, so I snatched it from the shelf and put it in the microwave.

"Rough night?" I heard Herrmann's voice ask from behind me. When I nodded, he continued. "How's the marriage going?"

"In all truth, Herrmann, I don't know how it's meant to go. I mean, my mom and father's marriage was pretty much so there'd be good-looking kids guaranteed and a smart heir to the company."

He raised an eyebrow with concern etched on his face. "Is that what you want?"

I shrugged. I didn't know. "Jay told Brooklyn he wanted an amicable partner and a fine marriage that his mother's lawyer would believe, just in case that it took forever for the will to be done. I just wanted my father off my back."

"Do you want a fine marriage, as Halstead calls it?"

"What's with all the questions, Herrmann?" I frowned, taking the popcorn bag out of the microwave and emptying it into a metal bowl.

"I just worry about you, kid. You know you and Gabby are like daughters to me." Herrmann sat with me at the round table. "I can tell something's bothering you, and it's a different look to just paperwork."

I sighed. "I don't know how to be a good wife, much less a good girlfriend. I broke up with Chief Jones' son purely because my father didn't like him being a firefighter."

"I think that break up was more than your father's opinion."

"I don't know what I'm doing, Chris." I stuffed a few popped kernels in my mouth. "I offered myself up for him to sleep with me on our honeymoon and he turned it down."

Herrmann gave me a sympathetic smile. "He's a good man for you, Teddy. He's not taking advantage of a situation he knows you don't know anything about." He grimaced briefly. "Cindy might have mentioned your lack of...preparedness of marriage."

"Gee wow. I love Cindy and all, but—wow."

"She was hoping he'd take it as you only wanting your father off your back and nothing else, and it worked." He excused. "He knows you're doing as well as you know how. I'm sure he'll say something if he wants more out of this arrangement of yours."

I offered him some of the warm popcorn. "Thanks, Herrmann. You have some good advice—some."

"I'll take it." Herrmann shrugged. "Finish that and get some rest, kiddo. Can't have our Lieutenant Rhodes falling asleep on a call."

"You and I both know I could never!"

#

JAY

I knew the apartment would be quiet without her home, but I didn't think it would be quiet enough to hear a feather drop. Especially with housekeepers around.

I couldn't help but call Brooke. I needed someone to talk to and staring at the roof was driving me crazy.

"It's 3-freaking-am. You better not tell me someone's been murdered, because that'll be Voight in half an hour." Brooke's voice hissed through the phone. She was a cranky one whenever she got woken up from her sleep.

According to Thea, that was all Severides. Including Brooke's niece, who slept near all day anyway. Severide was alright with me taking her for the 24 hours he and Thea were working, but so long as Brooke was around and Elizabeth had gone back to Brooke's after we spent time together.

"Is that Mommy's husband?" And to say that little girl loved me was an understatement. Thea had been cautious about introducing me to her so soon, but Elizabeth had delighted over the wedding, and Brooke had to stop her from running after Thea's car when we left for the cruise.

"Yes, say hi to Mr. Jay."

"Hi, Mr. Jay! Do you miss Mommy too?"

I laughed at her question. Not because it was an outrageous thing to think, but it was true. I slept in the same bed with Thea for three nights, and I was missing her. A large, quiet apartment was a lonely one. I was used to living in my own, but I guessed that expecting someone home soon was what made me uneasy.

"I do. Your mommy's fun to be around." I answered truthfully.

Elizabeth let out an agreeing hum. "Mommy is fun. She lets me dress up and do things Daddy won't let me do."

"That's because Daddy says no, and you go to Mommy and she can't say no to you." Brooke snorted, and I listened to their play tussle over the phone. "Thea says she's always wanted a daughter, so when she and Kelly met Elle at the hospital, she immediately offered to help raise her. When Claire met her, she'd mistaken Elle as her sister's baby.

"Apparently Elle looked like Thea when she was a baby." It made sense, she still looked like her mother. Even if Thea didn't give birth to her.

Brooke excused herself, putting her phone on her bedside table, as she took Elizabeth back to bed. When she came back, she was getting a call from Kelly and said goodnight.

So I went back to staring at the ceiling. Then I looked at the bookshelf, glancing over the book spines. I recognised a couple Thea had been reading last week, and there were a few gaps between the book sections. Of course, separated by genre because—as Thea put it—she's not a monster.

I remembered her tour she gave of the apartment, and her showing me the spot on the balcony I was absolutely not allowed to stand on at any given time because the wild birds that visited her claimed that is their spot and she usually left seed out in the mornings she had work.

I'll put some out when I wake up, so she doesn't have to worry about it when she gets home.

One of the other bedrooms—there were five—was turned into her office where, if she wasn't doing CFD paperwork, she was reviewing store reports or resumes for potential store employees. The other four were the master bedroom—hers—mine, Elizabeth's and a spare room. We'd briefly discussed it'd be our future child's room, but she promised she wasn't expecting anything right away.

"CFD Firehouse 51, Lieutenant Rhodes' office." The house phone blared, and I almost forgot it did that. I rolled over to answer the phone on the bedside table.

I was expecting it to be her assistant when I'd answered, but her voice was instantly recognisable. "Did I wake you up?"

"No, I haven't been able to sleep." I excused. "How's work?"

"It's the usual, kid up a tree or in a hole he dug himself." She let out a breathy laugh. Thea went quiet for a moment, "lost a vic earlier."

"I'm sorry, Thea. That's rough."

She hummed. "I figured if anyone understood, you would." I couldn't argue with that, even though if I had to be called in, it was too late. We talked about stuff like that. "We have an engagement party to attend next week, an old friend of mine from high school. Loose term."

"Do you want me to buy an engagement gift?"

"No, no, she's got everything she could ever want and if she didn't, she could just ask her fiancé for it anyway. Just wanted to make sure you knew." I'd imagined social events would be a key feature of this marriage, and Thea had told me as such, but I'd figured nonsensical, baseline events like charity fundraisers where we'd only run into a few people she knew through her father.

She knew the engaged couple, so I'd have to act like I know her more than I actually do.

Make Brooke write a list of everything she knew about Thea.

"You can just wear a dress shirt and pants with your work shoes if you want," she continued, sitting her phone up on the desk as she opened her laptop. "What colour shirts do you have?"

"Uh, blue, black, and white—the one I wore at the wedding."

She hummed, and seemed to scroll through a website on her laptop. "We'll go with the white—if you don't mind—and I'll see if I can find a dress to match."

"Don't you have a dress picked out?" I asked, and Thea explained couples matching was the bride-to-be's thing. And likely the theme of their wedding. "Do you need me to do anything else?"

"Act like you're in love with me. I don't know how hard it could be, but I'm sure you'll find out."

The firehouse bell rang, and Thea said goodbye before hanging up. Act like you love me.

If I needed to put on a show in front of rich people, I could at least embarrass myself in front of friends first.

Brooke liked the idea of taking Elizabeth to see her mom and dad after work, so I convinced the girls to come buy flowers for Thea. Elizabeth led the way, of course, pointing out that her mother loved pink flowers and we settled on roses.

"Do you like Mommy?" Elizabeth asked, as Brooke strapped her into her seat. "Daddy says he likes Mommy a lot, and I asked him why he didn't marry her, but he doesn't like her that much."

"Because your mom and dad are best friends, like Mr. Jay and I," Brooke reasoned. "They love each other just as much as they love you, but it's a different love than you're thinking of, Sweet pea."

"Mommy and Daddy are best friends?" She looked at me with her little brown eyes sparkling. "Are you and Mommy best friends?"

"Someday, maybe. But we are friends. I used to be with Aunt Gabby."

Elizabeth giggled, "Auntie Gabby is funny. That's why Mommy likes her so much. Do you still like Auntie Gabby?"

"She's a Severide, naturally curious." Brooke smiled, sitting in the driver's seat. She looked at her niece in the rearview, checking if she was ready to see her parents.

When we arrived at the firehouse, only a few of the crew were sprinkling out and I recognised a few from the wedding. Thea's team, if I remembered them correctly. Elizabeth bounced at my feet, waving at her mother's team who happily waved back, and Brooke scrolled through her messages.

"They always take the longest; doesn't bother Elli though." Brooke snorted, playing a video showing her niece. Before long, her little voice squealed as Kelly and Thea walked out the apparatus doors with Casey and Gabby in tow.

As she ran towards them, Thea crouched down and opened her arms. "Principessa! Do you come to pick us up with Auntie Brooke?"

"And Mr. Jay has something for you!"

"I don't think you were supposed to say that, Elle," Kelly laughed, playing with her hair as Thea held her. He smiled at Brooke and nodded at me in greeting as we stopped in front of them.

"Aren't they pretty, Mommy?" Elizabeth meant the flowers, but Thea kept staring at me.

Kelly slipped his daughter from her arms with a "Tedd, I'm not an expert with romantic gestures, but I think you're meant to say something."

"Thank you," she squeaked. With a cough, this quiet Thea faded away. "You didn't have to."

"You're my wife."

Gabby practically squealed with Shay—Elizabeth's godmother—behind her and she gave them a side glance.

"I don't think I can do a big grand gesture every time I pick you up, but I can at least bring you flowers in a colour you like." I reasoned. Husbands who liked their wives did romantic gestures for their wives all the time, right? Sure, Thea was a means to an end and so was I, but it didn't mean I shouldn't bring her flowers or make her breakfast when I could.

Thea smiled, letting out a breath, before pointing at her BMW parked in front of the house. "I drove here."

"That's fine, I'll take Kelly and Shay home," Brooke laughed, passing Elizabeth to me. "Since it's your 48 hours with Elli, I'm sure Kelly won't mind her being with you."

Kelly and Thea gave each other silent looks—one which likely said I'd be a dead man at some point—before he agreed. He said goodbye to Elizabeth, and waved a goodbye to me as well.

Elizabeth fiddled with my collar as we walked to Thea's car. "He'll get used to you being around Elli. We agreed it was up to her if you're in her life, and she wanted to meet you, so he's adjusting."

"I'm fine with him not wanting me around Elizabeth, I understand. I wouldn't want a man I barely know around our young daughter either." Our?! Why did I say our?! Why did I assume we'd have a daughter?

"Mr. Jay missed you last night, Mommy. I bet it was really cold at Mommy's House without you there." She looked at Thea from the back seat. "He called Auntie Brooke because he was lonely."

"Because he and Auntie Brooke are best friends, principessa."

The ride home was mostly quiet, the occasional mention of something random from Elizabeth in the backseat. When she asked for snacks, Thea reminded her that there were snacks at home.

Getting to the apartment was less of a hassle with her around, since Doorman Willy recognised her from a mile away. There wasn't any triple checking to make sure we lived in the apartment, and Elizabeth enjoyed her lollipop as we rode the elevator.

Thea let out a sigh of content as she dropped her bag beside the door in the entry, fumbling with her keys to hang them on a hook with T etched into the holder. She'd gotten a J put above my key hook once I'd gotten the spare key, and a new spare was being made for her to give Elizabeth in ten years.

"Jay will put a show for you, and I'll get some snacks ready, okay?" When she received a nod, Thea headed into the kitchen. The apartment wasn't overly big, the kitchen and living room being open, with three bedrooms on the main floor and a loft above the kitchen. A laundry room was across the corridor to Elizabeth's bedroom along with a bathroom between them. Thea's ensuite was between our bedrooms; mine would become the spare bedroom whenever someone outside of Firehouse 51 and the unit would come by, and we'd move some of my things like photos into her room.

Thea set down the snacks in front of Elizabeth. "I'm going to figure out some dresses for upcoming events. You're fine to watch Elli for a few minutes, right?"

"Mommy runway!" Her daughter cheered, holding a carrot stick in one hand and a cookie in the other.

"Okay, let Mommy pick out a few dresses and you and Jay can rate them."

Elizabeth wiggled up onto the sofa, patting the cushion beside hers and eagerly signalling for me to sit down. Her mother had skipped off to get into some dresses.

The first was a pink off-the-shoulder dress that reached her mid-thigh, with bubblegum-like sleeves connected over the chest. It complimented her skin tone well, and thanks to her morning runs and her job, her legs worked with the dress rather than against it.

"Pretty Mommy!" Elli clapped her hands together excitedly.

Thea thanked her, giving her a curtsy as well as the dress would allow.

"It looks beautiful on you." I agreed earnestly. There was no point in lying—especially since she was warming up to me—and even a toddler could see she was beautiful.

We continued Thea's fashion show before Elizabeth became sleepy and was put to bed. "She was probably keeping Brooklyn up all night," Thea laughed, making sure the bedroom door was fully closed. The in-house chef mastered away at lunch, as we settled on the sofa.

We decided on a movie to watch, and sat in silence. Nothing inherently big happened, and we swapped watching the movie to being on our phones occasionally. "I've got a new candidate," Thea grunted, slumping further into the sofa.

"I thought Casey got the candidates."

"I sometimes get the chiefs' kids or the captains' brothers. They'd rather their candidate family members get 'better' training from a 'higher' officer." Thea rolled her eyes. "It's a load of bull, but at least it gives us something to do. Someone new, as well. Chief Jones' kid."

Why'd that name sound familiar?

Thea nodded beside me, "yes, one of my exes' little sister. She's a total sweetheart, but I think having a chief for a dad and officers for brothers gets to her head a lot of the time."

"You'll knock her down a few pegs, and get her into shape." I tried to reassure her, but I don't think she wanted it as she kept looking at her phone. I just thanked God that I wasn't in-charge of anyone too, and continued watching the movie.

[reidhalstead]

Reid files the names away like there's never been anything more important than this. He knows the bookstore. Can't recall visiting. But he's walked past it a hundred times at least. Driven past it even more. Book's either fine with Reid running headfirst into the lion's den, or he has more faith in a dead man to make dust of monsters than he'd ever believed. He doesn't need to know how the French work, but the dramatics of mutilating woman, and turning hunters has his teeth on edge. It sounds so much like his dramatic Sire, minus the fucking French of it all.

But it still feels dirty giving Anika up, even if it is to her father. He has to trust Book's never approaching her with his hunger still raw and unchecked. This cannot be a death sentence, and if he hesitates too long, imagining that Book's her executioner because his fatherhood overruled his monsterhood, he'll never give over the information. And instead, he'll make sure they both meet the sun.

"Lighthouse Motel, off I-5 towards Portland. Room twenty-two."

The longer he stares at a once-great hunter, the more the tells show; Book shouldn't be this. He's not built that way. Reid hadn't been either; his sisters are the daughter that Book's enduring for. The cracks widening in their impenetrable armour. Reid had seen the threat of it, before, in a dingy alleyway when the hunter had caught him running. When he'd looked at Reid full of grief, and understood what duty looked like. When instead of a bullet to the heart, he'd been provided an ultimatum as a form of hunter mercy. Reid's yet to deliver on it.

Maybe this is how he does.

Reid remembers telling Book he hadn't switched sides just because he'd died. That he were raised with hunter morals that wouldn't bend. Adamant not to be a turncoat. He doesn't know how much truth is left in that statement, because he sees more than monsters now. He drinks like them, thinks like them, feels nothing like they do when he can't stomach the guilt. And yet, he still desires plenty of them dead.

"You talked to Valka?" Heron? And he wonders how that would go. If Valka's stronger than the pair of them. Not chit chat, just the Boston-style fuck off. Before making ashes into tattoo ink.

For a moment, when his old mentor speaks, Halstead doesn't know what he's talking about. There's something he's supposed to read between the lines, and can't. Not straight off the bat, anyhow.

"You survived, monster or not." Reid's not sure if the pause he gives is enough that he's locking away the hurt, in the carefully contained mess of his humanity. But even in death, it means something. But they aren't men to linger on softness, or heavy hearts that they know cloud their judgements. "Careful Book, you almost sound sentimental, man."

But he can't play off all of it because there's something else.

Book you fucker, is this goodbye? He's going to meet the sun? All that bullshit sounds like a poetic way to say he can't stomach the bears, or the blood. Reid's teeth cut his lower lip when he wrestles with a moment of annoyance. Better that, than acknowledge the pain of the reality that Book's really going to do it. His lip heals as fast as it comes, but he tries to understand. Tries. (Though, he does. Because Reid knows all he's done in death and has racked up more self-hatred, than anyone will ever know)

Death can be a kindness.

Reid downs his beer, pushes it away, flags for something stronger. Then, catches the bartenders eye, and asks for the bottle.

"You got plenty of years now to fix all that." Whatever mistakes that haunt him. Reid can't say he won't attempt to reason with the old hunter. But then, it hits him, like a hot pan searing his chest. He swivels back to Book. Reid's been on a roll with his selfish streak. He isn't going to stop on account of him. "Don't do what I think you're thinking. If not for me. For her. Don't do that to her."

He can see the fury in him. Good. He'll need that if he's going to do what Book couldn't for all of these years. If his harebrained scheme works and he manages to take the bitch and himself out in one fell swoop, maybe it'll end. But vampires have long lives and even longer memories. Chances are, it'll invite a veritable shitstorm onto his daughter and someone better than him needs to watch her back.

"Narcisse Le Blanc." He doesn't even bother to hesitate before he says her name. "And her wife, Aoife O'Sullivan. She owns that fancy-pants bookstore with the first editions." A nice enough place and full of expensive and flammable things, including its proprietor. "They're old and clever and one of 'em's French so that's why all the dramatics." He doesn't really care what Reid does with this information, and he has no reason to hide it from him anymore. The match was already lit, so better to arm him with as much information that could be helpful.

He pins Reid with a long look. If his emotions are half as volatile as Book's, he can imagine that Reid has some sort of idiot scheme, but he's trusting the kid with the most precious person in his world. "Tell me where she is. Deal's a deal." He wonders if he should tell him something else, something meaningful like it would change anything that will happen. Wonders if his words are worth anything at this point to him, or if he's grown past them too. "Could'a died wherever you were. Could'a let yourself wither away but you didn't. Maybe that makes you a monster, maybe it just makes you a survivor. Sometimes those things ain't mutually exclusive. Some things are worth surviving for, no matter the price."

Reid has a chance to be a better version of him, and he hopes he takes it. Book's too old for this game, too deep in his ways to ever find any kind of peace with the turn his life has taken, but maybe the kid's got a reason to do it differently. "Maybe you can avoid my mistakes."

[skilledxmarksman]

“It’s not your fault, sweetheart. You did everything you could.”

Even after everything that Hank had done to them, everything he had put them through, Jay had still tried his damn hardest to save the man's life, to do what he could to keep him alive until help arrived. He'd even risked his own life to save Hank's and why? After everything the man had done and put him through. Because Jay Halstead was a better man then Hank Voight. But still the guilt ate at him. He blamed himself.

He stood, covered in Hank's blood, watching as the body bag containing the older man's body was now loaded into the ambulance. He wasn't really aware of his surroundings, his eyes not leaving the black body bag until the doors of the ambulance closed with a loud slam.

He looked like hell, covered in all that blood, none of it his own, but no one else knew that yet but him. He turned to find Hailey there, and of course she could tell what he was thinking, knew what he was feeling. She was his wife and his best friend and knew him better than anyone except for maybe his other best friends and part of Jay's unit, also on the scene but they hung back, knowing Hailey stood a better chance of reaching him now than even they did.

"I should have done more." He said, even though deep down he knew that he had done all he could. It just hadn't been enough.

[witchygagirlwrites]

Friends?

Jay Halstead x Voight Daughter Reader (Nicknamed Little Bird/ Birdie)

No other A.D.A. can handle intelligence so now you're the official herder of those feral cats. Lucky you

Warnings: Hank and Erin being awful to Birdie?

“Sir with all due respect..” D.A. Newak cut you off mid sentence “No one else will work with your father Voight! You were successful your first week. I need someone who can wrangle intelligence without it landing back in my lap” 

You took a deep breath, trying to remember this way your boss. You were a professional, the idea of working shoulder to shoulder with your dad and Erin was grating on your frayed nerves. “Yes sir” you replied and he nodded “Thank you. Here’s the case file. I just need you to go over what they have, see if it’s enough for a conviction before they go after this guy. It’s a high profile target, a few cases have been stumbled and we can not afford a mistrial or he will walk”

You took the case file and tucked it under your arm “I’ll head to the twenty first to meet with Sergeant Voight”  “You call him Sergeant?” Newark asked and you shrugged “Better than some things isn’t it?” and turned on your heel to walk away.

Once you got in your suv you gave yourself a moment to just catch your breath. The day before you, Justin and Olive had gone to your mother’s grave. It was the first time you visited it in years. You took a bouquet of flowers. You missed her so much, your dad changed when she got sick. He hadn’t always been like this towards you but now when he looked at you it was like he was trying to see through you. It fucking hurt and trying to hide that was exhausting then trying to keep it from Justin so the two of them could still have some semblance of a relationship was proving to be a full time side job.

_____________________

Not to mention you had a few unread text messages sitting in your phone from a certain detective. You weren’t sure what they said besides the initial I didn’t you could see without risking opening the thread. You didn’t want to know. He’d been Erin’s. You spent years with her castoffs. 

You were the youngest so that meant when she came into the house you started getting hand me downs then. “Just give Birdie what Erin outgrows” “Erin doesn’t want it Birdie” then as you got older the people who had crushes on Erin but couldn’t get her would end up eyeing you “You’re almost as cute as Erin” then of course when all of you started getting focusing on careers. Your dad was so damn proud that Erin went into the academy.  

“Dad, I’m graduating law school” “Sorry Birdie. We have a case” (Justin and Al were in the front of the crowd, hooting and hollering when you walked across the stage. You never even noticed his absence)

“Dad I passed the bar” “That’s good Birdie, but Erin got an accommodation on the job” (Al sent you a bouquet of wildflowers)

 “Dad I won my first case” “Yeah that’s good. Erin ran her first raid successfully. Took half a mil off the streets” (Justin called from a bar when he was out with his buddies and you answered the phone to half a dozen guys shouting “CONGRATS BIRDIE!”)

 “Dad, can you come to Boston?” “Erin needs me”   (Al and Justin caught a red eye) 

Eventually you just got tired of asking. When you needed someone you turned to Justin, if you needed a father you turned to Al. Your dad chose and it wasn’t you, it still broke your fucking heart because you didn’t know why.  You refused to beg for scraps from a man that helped bring you into the world. You put your suv in drive and headed for the twenty first. With any luck you could maybe wrangle Al and Kim into being your go betweens on this. Kim seemed like a sweetheart, hell anyone but Erin or Jay would work.

You walked to the front desk and Trudy looked up from the clipboard in her hand “Hey sweetie?” you nodded to the stairs “Mind buzzing me up or walking me up? I am now the A.D.A. assigned to herd that crew of cats whenever necessary because everyone else in the office refuses to work with my father”

She nodded “I’ll buzz you up” “Thank you” you replied with a smile, walking up the stairs and waiting until the gate popped to pull it open the continued up.

The moment you got to the top of the stairs you breathed a sigh of relief at Al being the first face you saw “Hey little bird. What are you doing here?” you cut your eyes towards the board at the front of the room “To make sure Anthony Carlile actually gets convicted and doesn’t get off on a technicality” he nodded slowly “So you’re the one they’ve assigned to babysit us?” you grimaced “Really?” he grinned “Not my words sweetheart and definitely wouldn’t be my words towards you” a smile slipped onto your face “Oh I know you wouldn’t say that about me. Where’s your sergeant? I’m sure he’s going to be thrilled at this news”

You could feel the unit’s eyes on you as you walked across the floor to the break room where Al said Hank, Antonio and Erin were. Apparently Jay and Kim were out talking to a C.I. and Kevin and Adam were interviewing witnesses. You stopped and knocked on the open door “Sergeant Voight? Can I speak with you a moment?” all three of them turned their eyes towards you, three very different reactions. Antonio looked surprised at you calling your dad sergeant Voight, Erin looked annoyed at seeing you but then again the feeling was mutual and yet again your dad’s expression looked like he was trying his best to see through you “Birdie?” 

You sighed “A.D.A. Voight. I’m here about the Carlile case” Erin groaned “She’s our damn babysitter” you cut your eyes at her “A babysitter beats the hell out of a sex trafficker getting cut loose on a technicality that causes a mistrial because all of you missed something. I’m not here to tell anyone how to do their jobs, I’m not here to interfere I’m just here to make sure we can secure a conviction on what you have before we allow you an arrest warrant on this asshole”

Antonio looked between you and Erin then looked at Hank before nodding towards the bullpen “I’m gonna go back to my desk” you moved to the side to allow him to walk past. 

Erin held your eyes “Couldn’t make it into the academy so had to go into tripping up cops trying to do their jobs?” you scoffed “No honey. I do the leg work in making sure they actually go behind bars and stay there” “Birdie, that’s enough” you spun towards your dad with a lifted eyebrow “Do not Birdie me Sergeant. As long as I am in this building it is A.D.A. Voight. Understood?” He nodded so you walked back out to the bullpen and straight to Al’s desk.

He looked up and his eyes softened. “What happened?” you shook your head “Story of my life Al, story of my life” he looked towards the front of the room and his eyes were practically boring into your dad. The two of them were as close to best friends as anyone could be with your dad. You were the only thing they really fought about. “Al, want to set A.D.A. Voight up in a room?” he asked and you held his eyes, refusing to let him look away. You were through making yourself less in hopes that would somehow make him see you. “Thank you Sergeant” you replied before following Al.

He led you down one of the halls and opened a side door “Here sweetheart, I’ll bring you the files we have and the evidence list. Want some coffee or something?” you shook your head “No sir but thank you” he smiled and pressed a kiss to the top of your head “I love you kid. Just focus on your job, not them”

_________________________

Jay knew you were in one of the interrogation rooms going over everything on the Carlile case. He also knew that you and Erin had apparently gotten into it. Antonio told him when he got back with Kim. He pulled his phone out and checked to see that his messages still simply read delivered 

He honestly hadn’t known that you felt that way about Erin. He knew there was probably some sort of sibling-like rivalry but he hadn’t been thinking about her looking at you, hell he hadn’t been thinking about anything looking at you but you. He cut his eyes at the time and realized everyone was dispersing out to go get some form of food yet you hadn’t thought to emerge.

He stood and walked down the hall where he knew you were and knocked on the door “Come in?” you called and when he walked in you were standing in front of the table which was covered in evidence photos, a crossover of the last few cases that had gotten fumbled on Carlile and a few photos of victims. “A.D.A. Voight?” he asked and you cut your eyes up “Your Birdie privileges haven’t been revoked just because I don’t want Erin’s hand me downs any more”

He nodded and stepped a little closer and that was when he saw the legal notepad you had. You were tying in the last few cases with the evidence, carlile’s foot soldiers and his money laundering businesses. “Damn” he breathed and you looked at him “What?” he motioned to the pad “I would have never thought to tie it in like that” you smiled slightly “You went into the army then the academy Jay. I went into law school then my first internship. Anyway, what did you want?”

He tapped his wrist “It’s lunchtime” you looked at your own watch “Damn, I’m supposed to meet Justin on his lunch break” you looked back at the table “Can I leave this like this or will it be in the way?” he shrugged “It shouldn’t” you nodded “Ok, thanks” 

You started to walk out and it was like his mouth had a mind of it’s own “Look, Birdie I didn’t know about the issues with Erin. If you’re gonna be working close with the unit I would like to be your friend if you’d let me” you looked back at him and started to smile then shook your head “I don’t think that’s a good idea Jay” then walked out.

Justin was pissed but not really surprised that your dad had yet again taken Erin’s side when you two had argued. “Why the hell did Newak assign this to you?” you shrugged “No one else will handle our father?” he scoffed “Good point”

You poked at the fry on your plate “I just don’t know what I did J” his hand came across to wrap around your wrist “No, you don’t do that. Whatever issue our old man has is on him, not you. You got me, you got Al. You don’t need him. Show them how you do the damn thing and that’s how you shut Erin’s bitch ass up” you grinned at his choice of words “You are very poetic there Justin” he winked at you “Well not everyone got the brains there baby sis”

_________________________

When you got back to the precinct your dad called you to his office as soon as you walked into the bullpen. You cut your eyes at Al as you walked past him. 

You walked into the office but refused to take a seat “Yes Sergeant?” he waved a hand “Can we cut that crap?” you shook your head “I’d rather not. Best to make sure lines don’t get blurry. Now what do you need?” he shook his head “The case. Do we have enough to move on Carlile or not?” you pulled out the legal pad and looked it over “I think we do, I’ll need to run it by Newak but if so I can get an arrest warrant before three” 

“Good work Kid” he said and you scoffed “Wow. Anyway, I’ll see you in a few” and walked out of his office without another word. You stopped at Al’s desk “I’m going to meet with Newak to try to get you all an arrest warrant”  “Finally doing something right” Erin muttered and you spun around on your heel “Excuse me detective Lindsay?” she got up from her desk “You heard me, you’ve wasted what? Five and a half hours to say you can get the warrant. Why couldn’t you do that this morning?”

“Erin” Al warned and you held up a hand then faced her “Because I actually have rules I have to abide by or else the people all of you arrest in turn walk right back out onto the street” you could see Jay move closer behind you out of your peripheral vision, his arms crossed over his chest as he watched the scene unfold. “Don’t be such a stuck up bitch, like you’ve never cut corners” she slung at you and you took a deep breath “I’m not going to do this. I’m wasting time tossing childish insults back and forth” “That’s enough Birdie” you heard your dad’s voice and turned towards him with what you knew was a horrified expression “Excuse me?” he nodded “You’re both tired and stressed over this case, I get it but that’s enough”

You shook your head and looked back at Al “When I come back with the warrant, I’ll leave it with Trudy” 

Jay watched you walk down the stairs and wanted nothing more than to go after you. This was a whole different side of Erin. Why did she treat you like this? Why did Voight treat you like this? You were his daughter, not her. He cut his eyes at Al and saw he was already calling your brother. This must have been a common dance for the two of them. Just how bad of a thing had he stepped into? No wonder you didn’t want anything to do with him if you thought of him just as another of her hand me downs.

“Are we really stuck with her?” Erin asked Voight and Jay’s mouth moved on its own “How about quit being a bitch Erin? She tied those damn cases up in a bow. The way she figured it, she’ll be able to convict him on even the dropped cases and it stick. So yeah it took a few hours but it will topple his entire fucking business so give her a damn break”

Erin and Voight both looked at him and he shrugged then walked off. He didn’t care. It was sickening seeing them act like that towards you.

You were sitting in Mollys with Justin and a couple of his friends. You were tucked far enough in the corner you didn’t have to worry about being spotted. “I’m going to his place later” Justin said and you shook your head “No, you’re not” “Bullshit. I am so tired of him hurting you. You’re just doing your job and he takes her side?” you shrugged “I’m used to it J”

“Al is pissed. He said Meredith called pops and tore into him. Told him mom would be disappointed in him for the way he treats you and that’s grateful that Al is man enough to be a father to Lexi and a father figure to you because god knows someone needs to” you cracked a grin at the thought of the look on your father’s face when Meredith told him that. You didn’t want to cause him any undue pain, really but if he would have asked anyone out of the unit they would have told him Erin was the instigator. Not that he would’ve probably cared anyways but still.

“I don’t want to think about them” you told him and he nodded “Fair enough. What do you want to do?” you grinned “Have a drink with my brother then go beat his ass at bowling?” he laughed “Oh you’re on little sister”

_____________________

You were just about to get into bed when your phone chimed. You checked it to see yet another message from Jay and decided to read this one I’m in your corner Birdie. Friends or not. You don’t even have to talk to me. Just know when you’re at the 21st if it gets bad with your dad and Erin I’m getting between you and them. I’m not standing there and watching after today. I don’t have it in me to do again.

You smiled slightly and texted back He’s your boss Jay. Don’t risk your job. It’s not worth it the bubbles that he was texting back was almost immediate This number does work! Wow. but yeah, it is worth it. I never knew the issues were like that. Just so you know you’re worth so much more than a second choice. You’re amazing at your job, fuck them both if they can’t see that

You stared at the message for a few moments then texted back I want to believe you Jay but she’s pulled stunts like this before. Making me think someone likes me just for it to be a prank. That sounds horrible a grown woman being worried about a prank but still..

You gnawed on your bottom lip as the bubbles popped up then disappeared then popped up again then disappeared again then your phone just started ringing with his name. ‘Hello?” you answered and he sighed “Fuck Hank, Fuck Erin. Birdie you are worth more than a hundred of both of them and I haven’t even known you very long. Look, I just want to be your friend. I’m not trying to mess with your head or anything here, you want to know something? Ask me. I will tell you, good or bad. Just please don’t doubt yourself that bad or I may go into work tomorrow and fight your dad on the spot” you laughed lightly “As amusing as that may be for Al, that would more than likely lead to me more paperwork” he chuckled “Then I won’t do that but believe me when I say when I asked for your number, Erin was the absolute furthest thing from my mind”

@desimarie12

“Justin is going to threaten you, even just being friends with me” you warned and he laughed lightly “I can handle that. Maybe we can hang out sometime, with him as the chaperone of course” the mental image of you and Jay watching a movie with Justin two rows back made you crack up laughing “We’ll see Halstead but for now, we’ll say friends”

Mine, Yours

@allisonargent144

@nevaehstreater18

@itsdesiree86

[escapingrealtiylovinginsanity]

How many kids do you see Will wanting with his wife

I ended up going way overboard with his. (sorrynotsorry)

Hmm, I always see him with at least two. When you grow up with a sibling I feel like you want your children to have the same exerperance. The good, bad, and ugly.

I think three would be his lucky number. Two boys and a girl.

The first boy would be Will's payback. He is stubborn, hardheaded, and a fast learner. When he is young, he will cling to his dad and become like a second shadow. He wants to be just like him. But as he gets older, he tests his boundaries and tests them hard. He is smart and has a sharp tongue and sarcasm that matches his Uncle Jay. There is never a doubt that they love each other, but the teenage years are rough. His firstborn is just a little too much like him and it causes them to bump heads more than once. He watches his son go through his rebel stage with absolute fear. He starts drinking and gets arrested at a party thrown in an abandoned building. Will was furious when picking up his son from the station. He would never admit the humor of watching his still-drunk son arguing legal logistics- and winning- with the arresting officer. Will isn't surprised when his son passes the bar and becomes a hotshot lawyer. Even all the sass and arrogance doesn't stop him from having a soft spot for the people who need him. He does more pro bono work than everyone in his firm combined and then some.

His second boy is wild. Will spent his first six years arguing with himself about whether he should put his hyperactive son on ADHD medication. When he takes his son in for a broken arm after trying to flip off the monkey bars he knows he needs to do something. He puts him on medication. And it works his son is calm and thrashing through the house like a hurricane and it is a breath of relief for Will. But his son is miserable and it doesn't take long for Will to see. His son stared blankly at the TV. Will talks to Daniel who poses a brilliant solution. Will signs his son up for gymnastics. The schedule is more than intense but it improves his overall quality of life. His grades improve, he sleeps better, and he becomes more engaged with his family. When he abruptly withdraws from the family Will becomes concerned. The conversation doesn't go as either Halstead expects. Because his son's dirty little secret isn't dirty at all. And Will couldn't think of one thing he could care less about than his son being gay. The partners he picks for his first few years, however, are less than desirable.

The girl would be the youngest and absolutely his little red-headed princess. A complete daddy's girl and Will would be wrapped around her finger. She was as sweet as her temper was bad- she is a ginger after all. Her face dotted with freckles and her hair a mess of curls. She was rough and tumble- having two older brothers to keep up with does that to you. A princess that fought and acted like a tomboy. Will couldn't get her out of her Halloween fairy wings for over a year. As she got older and started wearing makeup and liking boys. Her dad and brothers became unbearable. Nobody she liked was good enough. Then she decked Thomas Grant in her freshman year after he grabbed her butt. She got suspended but her dad and brothers gave her some breathing room to talk to boys. They tried not to hover too much- but they were still threatening anyone who made a move on her. She was Will's science girl. And unlike him, she applied herself through school. Will would have helped pay for it but she had a full ride to college. She ends up following her father's footsteps for emergency medicine but goes the surgical route.

[oncalls]

a sigh escaped the detective's lips as she tilted her head to give halstead easier access to her neck. "mmhmm." god, she didn't even know what she was agreeing with. she just wanted him to keep doing . . . whatever he was doing. sometimes she thought jay knew her body better than she did. and that was probably true. because he knew her better than she knew herself. and visa versa. it was what made them great partners. in the office, and in bed. "we do not love paperwork," she replied when her brain finally caught up to the conversation. "yeah, that's what i thought . . . good boy." she ran her fingers through his hair, then leaned in and stole a proper kiss because it was so unfair that her neck and shoulder we getting all of the attention.

she opened her mouth to say something, but all that came out was a breath and she closed her mouth again, smashing her lips to one side as she considered his question. they always ended up at her place. but there was a good reason for that. nadia was there, and erin hated the idea of leaving the younger girl alone. she trusted nadia. she did! more than anything and anyone. even jay. but that girl had been through a lot. and if she needed anything, erin liked knowing that she was down the hall. even if the alternative was to be just a phone call away. "would you hate me if i said we can stay at mine again tonight?"

did he want to keep working? - with erin lindsay in his lap? that's a hard pass. he wanted to bury his face in her hair ... or her thighs. alas, they were still in the office - with al in the next room. so he better stop & return to his best behavior. but before he does that, he leaves a trail of kisses from her neck to her jawline. "but baby ... we love paperwork." a big fat lie. so he wraps his arms around her, kissing her shoulder next. "yeah, i'm all done for the night."

it takes him a while to actually do anything to move out of the chair - he actually loves having lindsay on his lap. erin. when she was like this, she was erin & he was jay. they were two people, not detectives. but even when they were detectives hard at work ... jay never stopped loving her. that was how he'd fallen in love at first. with @1stresponders & everything she did. he admired her. as a cop, as a best friend - the way she cared about everyone else around her, her hunger for justice ... the extra tenderness when it came to nadia, her mirror from the past. erin had looked at nadia like she was a chance to do something good for the girl she had buried in her chest - & she had. she'd done so good, the girl was clean & working intelligence right now. "yours or mine?" silent question: do you want to check in on nadia tonight? the girl who was living with erin still, despite the offer of an apartment. jay suspects neither of them had been ready yet. not just nadia.