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Here's a website where Palestine GoFundMes are vetted and shared that you can send out to people. The url is gazafunds.com
Easy to use and simple. Just share the site whenever someone asks for GFMs for Palestine.
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recently when im tempted to say 'i'm gonna kill myself' i try to correct it into saying "im gonna walk into the river and become a trout" or some other form of that. this is my new thing
#“the trout population will be affected”#sounds like something one of my frends would've said in school#and our teacher would've spent the entire class wondering what she meant#poor man questions everything now because of our class#and he doesnt even teach us anymore#he hasn't taught us for two years and i dare believe he's still questioning
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While the next chapter of Rhodestead/TeddyxJay is in the works, i'm considering rewriting up this idea.
None of the Rhodestead/Sevstead/whatever Capp and Lilly would be called universe aligns with the one chicago kids universe since its just easier that way.
i might change that once jay and teddy's future kids are introduced and if ya'll like them, but for now they're separate universes
I'm writing a upstead son x stellaride daughter fanfic for fun.
Kinda like how upstead met but instead stellaride's daughter is ordering upstead's son around because she's a fire captain and he's a detective, until they recognise each other from when they were little.
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We all agree, right?
AI to write your novel is wrong
A bargain with a demon to write your novel is okay
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DON'T BLAME ME || 6 || Jay Halstead x Teddy Rhodes
Chapter Synopsis: When a fire scene causes the power to go out in the area, Jay worries about Thea's safety while Thea worries about everyone else's.
Chapter Warnings: Mentions of attempted murder; mention of a beating; brief description of a vehicular accident; spousal worries/concern for partner's life; split-second allusion to suicidal ideation; Elli's speech STILL fluctuates. Read ahead at your own risk.
Author's Note: I forgot to change up the chapter warnings for chapter five upon posting, so you can see what was planned for that chapter and later scrapped.
Jay
Usually when we finished with a case, we'd all go home. I'd give Brooke a lift home while she called her roommate to let her know she was on her way, and to see if she wanted something to eat. Usually I'd be planning to get comfortable in sweats and a tank, or just sweats sometimes, and call Thea when I got home. Elizabeth would stay at Brooke's until Kelly finished his shift and picked her up.
Usually, I wouldn't be in the bullpen by now and wanting to be throwing my computer over Hawkins' and Lindsay's heads and out the window.
"Someone's missing his wife," Ruzek teased, a knowing smirk on his face.
Brooke laughed beside me. "She's probably thinking he's dead." I looked at her, and she shoved her phone into my hand. She knew my phone died half an hour ago, but I didn't think to bring my charger to work this morning and I had to let it die. "Call her, Halstead. She might not be losing her mind, but she'd still be expecting a phone call. Even if you're not shirtless."
"You've been calling your wife shirtless while she's in shift?" Ruzek teased, as I slipped into the break room to call my wife. Zero-three-two-one. Elizabeth's birthday was easy to remember when it was her aunt and your best friend's pin for her phone.
"Theodosia Rhodes; I can't come to the phone, so just leave a message. If it's CFD related, call Firehouse 51. If it's Dolan Rhodes related, call my store manager." Given she likely wouldn't check her voicemail for a week anyway, I sent her a text to call me on Brooke's number when she got the chance.
As soon as I hit send, the lights started to flicker and everything turned off.
"Ruzek, what did you touch?"
"Nothing!"
"Uh huh."
I gave Brooke back her phone as I sat back at my desk. I felt everyone but Brooke and Dawson were staring at me weirdly and I knew what it was about. My lack of reaction to the power outage. "First off, I've been in worse conditions. Second, my wife has to have all the lights off at our apartment or she can't sleep straight."
"Is that why she looks half asleep when she comes in during her shifts?" Lindsay asked with a frown.
Brooke reasoned, "they can't exactly turn off all the lights in the bullpen at 51 while there's people filling out paperwork."
Thea mentioned she was getting different blinds for her office windows to block out a good portion of the light from bullpen, but it was on her own dollar and the CFD wouldn't cover it, so it was taking a while to get to the firehouse even on express delivery.
"I might be rich, but that doesn't improve delivery times and traffic."
The backup generators kicked in and the lights flickered to a start, as the computers rebooted themselves and I noticed the file I hadn't saved was blank again. I internally groaned as Brooke answered her phone.
"Yeah, we're good...no, I'm still at work...of course, Jay's here. He's my way home...yeah, I can tell him...are you okay?...alright, I'll come see you guys soon...tell her I said hi!" She held her phone to her neck as she leaned to me. "51 was on a call; Teddy's okay, her phone was in the truck; she said she'll call back soon; and she's picking up my grandparents and Elli to have them at 51 with her and Kelly. Oh, and when we're done here, you can meet my sister."
"Thought you only had a brother," Olinsky, frightening us a little, piped in front him secluded desk.
Brooke hummed. "As it turns out, my dad got a woman he cheated on my mom with pregnant and I have a 21-year-old chef as a half-sister."
"Do you like her?" Lindsay asked, and suddenly we were all about Brooke's family issues. She didn't blame Katie, as her sister's name was, since it was Katie's mom that slept with a married man and their dad that slept with another woman while married.
While they talked about the Severides, I got to texting Thea. The first message was just a 'be careful' one, knowing the dark can make people lose their minds. When she sent a 'you too', I stopped myself from liking the message since I was still on Brooke's phone. I passed it back, and I turned to Ruzek for a charger. I wanted to talk to her on my phone.
#
Thea
Once Elli was settled with Katie, watching her cook in the kitchen, I checked on Kelly's grandparents and made sure they were comfortable in my office.
"Thank you, Thea." Kent shook my hand in both of his. "My grandson's got a good woman looking out for him."
I smiled, knowing that Kelly cherished their support with Elli. "Always, Kent. You're family."
"You too, kiddo." His attention was back on Agatha, and I left them to each other's company. Kent knew he just had to call out to Connie if they needed me, or Kelly for that matter.
As I walked around the firehouse, keeping an eye on the civilians, I noticed Boden talking to one of the women from a building fire some days ago. I sent him a simple nod with a knowing smile before checking in on Elli and Katie. Surely Katie was getting a little overwhelmed with how many people she and Cruz were cooking for.
"How's Auntie Katie doing, Principessa?" I hugged Elli's little body as I stopped behind her to watch the cooking over her head.
"Her cooking is better than Daddy's," Elli waved her sticky hands in my face to prove her point.
Katie smiled guiltily beside the stove. "She stuck her fingers into the sauce before I even noticed."
I shook my head, making sure Elli knew she couldn't do that, before I turned my attention back to Katie. "She gets it from Kelly, he can't help sticking his grimy hands into food either, and Brooke's the same. Might be the Severide genes."
"I can guarantee I will use a spoon," Katie laughed. I went to add something about her family's genetics, chalking up to the fingers-in-food thing to being Kelly's mother as we walked around to the bigger dining table, when a crashed and bang interrupted me.
A man was slamming a younger guy into the table, and Kelly and Boden rushed to separate them. I passed Elli to Katie, who held her niece closer to her shoulder. The man, after being shoved into the metal counter by Kelly, stole a knife from Cruz and waved it at everyone.
Kelly raised his hands in front of him. "Put the knife down, and get out."
"That guy's drunk brother put my niece in a coma!" The man shouted, pointing the knife at the kid he was beating up, before moving it on Kelly.
"We're not going to say it again," I pointed a finger at him I doubted it would do anything, but it was worth a shot. "Put the damn knife down and get out."
The man didn't move for a moment, staring at me, before he moved to rush Kelly and jump the kid again. Before he reached Kelly, I threw my head into his torso and pushed him into the round table as civilians previously sitting there fled. As I got my arms around him, the man slashed at me and I backed off instinctively.
My self-defence trainer had stopped training me since I started in the CFD when I was 18, so I knew I was a little rusty but the ache in my shoulder really shouldn't have felt as bad as it did.
The man swiped the knife at my face, the tip grazing my cheek and causing me to back up even more. Kelly rushed him, shoving the man into the counter again and making him drop the knife. Once the weapon was gone, Kelly grabbed the guy by the back of his neck and dragged him outside. Boden followed, silently telling me to stay put with the civilians.
I checked on Elli, who was crying from watching her parents get in a fight, and made sure Katie wasn't too panicked. When the guys came back inside, Kelly did the same and wiped the blood from my face.
Boden talked to the on-looking civilians, reassuring their safety, before he turned to us. A couple of my guys had appeared during the fight, and stood nearby. "Keep a look out for anyone wanting a fight; you do what Kelly just did and throw them out in the snow."
The guys and I nodded, knowing Boden was meaning us mostly, given our training. I patched up the cut on my face in the bathroom, as Gabby poked her head inside. "Jay's looking for you."
He was waiting in my office by the time I found him, and as soon as he saw the bandage on my face, Jay lifted his hand for his finger to lightly graze the plastic cover. "Shay called Brooke and said you'd been scratched. She didn't say anything about a knife until we got here though."
"I'm okay." I didn't even believe myself so much that my voice was shaky.
The frown he gave me was a dead giveaway he didn't believe me either. "Thea..."
Thank god Kent and Agatha weren't in my office, because as soon as my nose felt tight and my shoulders started shaking, I started crying and holding onto Jay's shirt.
I was terrified. Mortified that I could've been stabbed, and Elli would've seen her mom get stabbed. She saw her mom fighting. The only thing worse than that was seeing her mom get stabbed. I was doing everything I could to make sure Elli didn't have the same childhood as me, and I let my teenage self take over.
As soon as I met Herrmann and I knew I wanted to be a firefighter, I was going to put my fighting instincts behind me and I'd be a better person than teenage me was. When Elli was born, and I knew she needed a mother, I promised little newborn her that I would do everything I could to make sure she didn't see that version of me.
The version of me that punched first and asked questions later. The version of me that ignored how much her grief affected her that she hurt everyone around her.
But as scared as I was that my toddler saw me any differently, I was scared I was going to die. I didn't want to die. Sometimes I did, but in that moment? No way. I had people to live for now.
I had a husband, who I might not have married because I was in love with him, but I was in love with the time I spent in his company. I had a little girl who needed a mother. I had a best friend who needed my help raising his baby girl, because he was scared he'd end up being another version of his father.
I had a husband. We would have kids eventually. He would need their mother around as they grew up. Those kids needed their mother around. They needed their mother around. They needed their mother around.
"Theodosia, look at me." Jay's voice came through all the voices in my head, and I realised he had been holding my face for at least a few minutes. One thumb grazed over the bandage, and the other wiped the tears from the left side of my face. "You're okay, now. The bastard comes back to get you, I'll kick his ass before he comes in the door. I'm not letting him hurt you."
I bit my lip to stop the tears, just staring at Jay's face. Counting his freckles to calm myself down; his eyes were a really pretty shade of blue. They were so much prettier with the freckles all over his face too. "What did I do to deserve you?"
"You didn't need to do anything to deserve someone caring about you, Thea. It's about time someone makes sure you know that. You're amazing, Thea, and I know Elizabeth looks up to you more than anyone."
"Teddy." I murmured, receiving a confused frown. "You can call me Teddy. We've been together long enough now."
Jay smiled. "Great. I was starting to get jealous of Brooke being able to call you that."
"Oh, ha ha. Very funny."
"I am very funny, aren't I?" He grinned, looking a little too prideful.
We didn't get any more alone time, as Brooklyn threw open my office door. I was sure she was more worried about me than her brother, and she was ready to shoved Jay out of her way so she could take care of me.
"I'm okay, B. You two can head back to the district, I'm sure you're needed more there." I squeezed her hands with a little smile. As much as I liked Brooklyn, I felt bad taking any sympathy from her. She was younger than me, and she really didn't need to worry about me; her brother did that enough. "As long as Katie and Elli are okay, you need to get back."
Brooklyn gave Jay a look, before she nodded and she bid goodbye. Jay squeezed my hand before following after her. The sweetheart that Gabby told me about was starting to show, or maybe he always was one and I just didn't notice.
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DON'T BLAME ME || 5 || Jay Halstead x Thea Rhodes
Chapter Synopsis: It's time for the Rhodes monthly family dinner, and time for Jay to get a deeper understanding of his wife's relationship with his in-laws.
Chapter Warnings: Mentions of arson, kidnapping, infanticide; allusion to childhood trauma, suicide, cancer-related death; brief description of a vehicular accident; outright familial/parental pressure; portrayal of misogyny and misandry; Elli's speech still fluctuates. Read ahead at your own risk.
Author's Note: I'm starting specific chapter synopsis and warnings because I think you guys get the gist now.
Thea
With my glasses on the bridge of my nose, I examined the recent resumes my store manager sent up during my shift, as Elli watched TV in the living room. I wasn't entirely sure what Jay was up to, but I didn't want to be in his business when I had my own to mind.
"Mama, are we seeing Ganpa tomorrow?" Elli called through the slightly-open office door.
I checked the calendar on the corner of my desk. "Yes, principessa."
"Is Mr. Jay coming?"
"He is a Rhodes now, Elle."
Jay knocked on the doorframe, catching my attention. "This is the first I'm hearing about seeing your father." He leaned his forearm on the doorway, as I fixed my glasses. "I also didn't know you wear glasses."
"I wear contacts to work, and usually just wear them after work. And we only go to dinner once a month—my sister's idea." I stamped the resume, intending to send it to the store manager so she can call for a interview with a James Smitt. "I usually don't remember about dinner until Elli asks."
I noticed him shift slightly, before I continued. "You don't have to come. I only go to keep the peace with Claire, otherwise I'd rather burn alive than step foot on the property."
"And I thought my relationship with my dad was rough." Jay sat down on the sofa facing my desk.
"Usually he tells me everything I'm doing wrong with my life and that's why Connor left and all that BS. I timed the honeymoon on the last dinner so I had an excuse not to go for a month.
"But Elli sees her aunt every second month, so I have to go. I don't trust my father to not give her the same list of insecurities he gave me." I scoffed, signing off on whatever I was meant to be reading. I'd get a call from the old man if it had to come bite me in the ass.
Jay nodded along with what I was saying. He agreed to come, as long as he didn't pull the usual BS and to properly meet Claire. From what I knew, he and his younger brother weren't close anymore, so I presumed he wanted a good relationship with his sister-in-law.
"Do I get to meet your brother eventually?" I asked, sitting back in my chair. I didn't care if I met his father so much, but if my brother kept ignoring my calls, I at least wanted some sort of communicating relationship with my brother-in-law.
He shrugged. "We can fly to New York to see him if you want. Will and I don't talk much anymore, but I will if you want to get to know him; I won't stop you from knowing him."
"If we have kids, he'll have to be in their lives. My father's an only child and I never met my mother's family, so the kids should have their dad's uncle around."
"I'll introduce you to Mouse sometime then." Jay explained that 'Mouse' was a nickname for his best friend from his Ranger days. He and Mouse were the only ones to get out of their last deployment, and while Jay virtually went straight at it for CPD, Mouse's path wasn't so straight cut.
I wanted to tell him to offer a room for him with us, but I needed to meet him first. Sure, he was Jay's best friend and near-brother, but Elli was a priority and I'd have to clear it with Kelly beforehand too.
"If it's okay with you, I'd want him to be an uncle to our kids too."
I agreed. "I have a couple best friends from middle school I'd want as their aunts, and then 51 would be aunts and uncles and grandfathers to them too, so I think it's fair."
Elli had a village, and any kid born to a 51 firefighter did too. That village was the exact thing that drove me into the career, and I couldn't be prouder of it.
We discussed the Rhodes family dinner in length, before Elli stormed in and begged to go to the nearby park with the puppy. Scout was a more recent addition to the family, left alone in a house with his late owner when patrol officers found him. Jay called during my shift, telling me about this Dalmatian puppy with the biggest and cutest eyes, that Elli adored and was asking to keep.
So I agreed. As long as he wasn't left stationary alone again. It helped that he was a hit at 51.
I dressed Elli into her coat as Jay readying Scout and we walked down to the park for the two babies to play and run around while we talked.
#
Jay
The Rhodes dinner was in an hour, and Thea was in the next room finishing up with Elizabeth's outfit. I hadn't even seen hers yet, but when she said to be dressed up, I assumed she meant with the clothes she'd left on my bed after her shopping spree with Gabby and Shay earlier in the day.
"Mommy said you look nice, Mr. Jay!" Elizabeth waved her hands up at me as she stopped running right before she crashed into me.
"Thank you," I laughed, as I looked from the toddler to her mother.
Thea was in a black turtleneck sweater, topped with a black belt holding up slick, slim-checkered dress pants. At least, that was what she'd called very similar ones a day before.
"You look beautiful."
Thea waved me off bashfully, "it's the Rhodes genes. We naturally pull off our own product line." She picked up Elizabeth in one arm, and her handbag in the other smoothly. Thea hooked her car keys onto her ring finger, which slid down to clink against her wedding ring. I didn't even notice she was wearing it.
You were too busy checking her out. One voice scolded me in my head.
She's your wife, you're legally obligated to. It argued with itself.
It didn't take us too long to arrive at what Thea failed to mention was an entire Rhodes Family Estate, and security was easy enough to get through, so by the time we were in the lobby of the mansion—could I call it that, or was it considered too small to be one to rich people?
"Miss Theodosia," one of the young maids curtsied as she and an older lady stopped at us. "And Mr. Halstead, and young Miss Elizabeth."
"Bridgette, it's Mrs. Theodosia." The older woman corrected sharply.
Bridgette curtsied quickly with an apology. "It's alright, Bridgette," Thea excused quickly, turning to the older maid. "It's fine, Margarethe."
"And Miss Elizabeth is greeted before Mr. Halstead-Rhodes. She is a Rhodes by blood, he isn't." Margarethe continued to scold Bridgette.
"Thea!" Claire didn't look much different to a month ago—granted, it was a month ago—but there was a genuine smile on her face as she hugged her sister. There was a five-year age gap between the sisters, and Thea kept her at arm's length, so they weren't as close as anyone outside close friends and family thought. "Nice to see you again, Jay."
I smiled. "You too, Claire. You look well."
"Oh please, I've done nothing different since the reception of your wedding, but thank you." She scooped Elizabeth into her arms, and headed into one of the rooms before the staircase. Thea nodded to follow, and I followed her instead as she talked with her sister. "It's nice seeing you again, Thea. Its been too long since I saw you; we really need to catch up between these dinners with Dad."
Thea sent me an exasperated glance already. "I've told you my schedule is busy, between the store and my actual job." They continued going back and forth about it as we sat at the dining table. Their father soon joined us.
Dinner was quiet, mostly Claire telling us what she was doing with her store and the plan for renovations in the next year. Mr. Rhodes kept looking at Thea, and she sent stares back at him before she would turn back to her sister.
After some silence, he spoke up. "So, Jason, what do your parents do?"
"My father's a construction manager."
"And your mother?" Mr. Rhodes asked before another mouthful. Thea sent him a quiet scold, probably a warning to lay off with the questions.
I didn't mind answering him so much, it was just the question. It was hard to talk about her, even so long after the fact. "We, uh, lost her a few years ago."
"Oh, I'm sorry—" "'We'? So you have siblings?" Mr. Rhodes cut Claire off.
"A brother."
He nodded, a smile on his face. "Well, I'm sure Theodosia is glad to have a new brother, since her current one doesn't bother to call her."
"Father."
"What? Claire told me you haven't heard anything from him since the wedding, I was only stating a fact." Thea rolled her eyes at his response, as he kept talking. "The least you could do let me say and ask what I want, considering you married a construction manager's son."
"A detective. An especially good one in his own right, too." She snapped, then her demeanour changed. "Or, what, you'd rather I married one of your friends who would likely hit your baby girl if she ever dared to say no?"
Claire and I made eye contact at the tension, before Mr. Rhodes spoke again. "All I'm saying is that you could have at least married a man with an inspiring lineage and strong genes. Though, being able to lift some tons of concrete or knocking suspects to the ground would take some strength."
"Oh my god," Thea laughed, rolling her eyes. "You would've been fine with one of your friends abusing me if it meant I'd have good-looking children. Of course I'm just breeding stock to you, that's all you saw Mom as."
The table fell silent, excluding the show Elizabeth was watching on an iPad beside Claire.
"I loved your mother just fine, Theodosia."
"Clearly not enough to keep it in your pants though, right?"
Damn. What did I marry into?
I thought about Will and I kicking my father into the next decade if he cheated on Mom. And she lived until I was 26, so I could've kicked his ass at any age. Thea would have been under ten years old.
"That's enough," Mr. Rhodes chided.
Thea stood, walking around the table to her daughter. She handed Claire the iPad and picked Elizabeth into her arms. "That's right, it is. We'll be leaving now." She looked down at her sister, "I'll see you next week."
I followed her out to the car, and she buckled Elizabeth into her car seat. She remained silent as she drove down the driveway, glancing occasionally at her daughter in the backseat. "I'm sorry you didn't see Auntie for very long, baby."
"It's okay, Mama."
Thea kept her eyes on the road after that, and I didn't want to press into her family matters any more than she would mine. Brooke already told me enough for me to know that it was a sore subject with her.
"51 is all the family I need." Thea told me after Elizabeth fell asleep and she closed the door to her room. "And you and Elli, of course."
"You don't need to explain anything," I excused. She didn't ask me about my issues with my old man, and I didn't tell her.
She smiled at me briefly. "For all the crap I gave you when we initially met, you're not too bad."
"You're not so bad yourself."
Thea patted my shoulder and disappeared into her room. I stayed on the sofa a little longer, catching up with Brooke about her own dad.
#
I sat in the passenger seat, as Thea got out of the car to pass Elizabeth to her great-grandfather. Even after his father cheated and his parents split, Kelly was still close with his dad's parents and Thea was too.
"It helps that I don't really know my mom's parents. I know they loved her, but that's it." Thea explained, as she drove to the firehouse. She'd leave for work, and I'd drive to the district, and I'd pick her up in the morning after her shift. "Kelly wants Elli to spend as much time with his grandmother as much as we can give them."
His and Brooke's grandmother had dementia, from what Brooke had told me, and it was getting worse. She wouldn't even remember her son eventually, since Benny was barely in Chicago anymore, and when he was, Brooke noted that he didn't see his parents as much as he didn't see her.
Thea shrugged when I told her that. "Benny thinks Kelly was affected more by the cheating and divorce than she was. Kelly thinks Brooke was more affected since she was in her early teens and really looked up to Benny before it all happened."
"What do you think?"
"I think that the Severides have a load of issues that we can't solve," she looked at me pointedly. "As much as we might want to help them because they're our friends, you can't help a Severide. Not unless you're more important to them than breathing. Elli could probably do it, but she's just a kid."
"She doesn't need to solve her family issues so young." Thea gave me a nod of agreement when I understood. I knew she and Kelly were trying to raise her the opposite they were—Kelly, the older son needing to protect everyone, and Thea, the youngest daughter needing to prove herself to be seen. They didn't want their daughter to feel like that, and Thea didn't want her little girl turning out like her.
"I think if she can help it, Teddy will make sure Elle doesn't become a firefighter. Too many health risks and the like."
I admired her determination to protect her daughter. Of course, I didn't understand at the time what it was like to want to protect something so vulnerable from the world you know could destroy them.
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there's something about watching the world fly past on a long drive and listening to Ain't No Love in Oklahoma (by Luke Combs for the Twisters movie)
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it's been mentioned that Thea speaks Italian, and thus is teaching Elli Italian, in like chapter one or two, but I want to make it known that Thea would 100% cuss out anyone in Italian and they'd turn to Jay for a translation, at which he simply shrugs because he either doesn't know what she's saying because she's never said those specific words around him before or he'd rather not be on the receiving end
#yes she curses kelly in Italian#especially if elli was like “dads being mean”#thea as close as she is with kelly would 100% believe her little girl#chicago fire#one chicago#one chicago oc#jay halstead#kelly severide#theodosia rhodes
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Kitty: Who are you calling a dumb bi!tch? Jay: You, you dumb b!tch, young b!tch, silly b!tch, dead b!tch, I got the gun b!tch. Jay: Will, if you're gon' bring b!tches in here, bring a SMART B!TCH. Will: I'm too old for this...
#i know its been a while since i've posted kitty content but i saw this audio as a codmw fanart tik tok and i had to#this would be in a later season of any of the shows#jay and kitty fighting and will having to parent their fight since pat died#chicago fire#one chicago#chicago pd#one chicago oc#jay halstead#halstead sister au
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Thea: Kelly and Brooklyn are fighting again.
Jay, deadpanned: I thought I told you to stop making them fight with each other.
Thea:
Jay:
Thea: I like drama.
#ik i did this with kitty#but thea 100% likes watching other siblings close to her fight#especially since she and connor dont fight a whole lot anyway#and at least she's not the one fighting with kelly#so it could be worse#chicago fire#one chicago#chicago pd#one chicago oc
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i started going on walks around my neighbourhood when my grandmother got sicker, and only did it about once after she passed.
anyway, I'm starting them again for my work sister's wedding in a few months, so I well and truly fit into any dress I decide on before then.
turns out today is a good day for walks for everyone, since I've almost ran into three people now and probably about to be five.
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Funniest fandoms are where the fans are like, "I'm obsessed with this. I don't recommend it even slightly."
#me with one chicago or criminal minds#full on “if you care about your sanity dk not watch”#once told a therapist the reason i had a meltdown was over will and jay's dad dying#another one was the route 66 episode i believe#where hotch is taken to hospital and sees haley and they talk about jack
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DON'T BLAME ME || 4 || Jay Halstead x Thea Rhodes
Synopsis: Theodosia Rhodes, the youngest daughter of a big-time Chicago CEO, needs a husband of her own choice before her father makes that decision for her. Jason Halstead, newly-made Intelligence detective, needs a wife to inherit his portion of his mother's inheritance.
Warnings: Allusion to smut, but nothing outright excluding sexual thoughts. Mentions of arson, kidnapping, murder, rape; allusion to childhood trauma, suicide, cancer-related death; descriptions of vehicular accidents including, but not limited to, car-on-car collision, car-on-truck, train; outright familial/parental pressure; portrayal of misogyny and misandry; Elli's speech downgrades and upgrades a lot because I'm not around kids 24/7 (thank god). Read ahead at your own risk.
THEA
The socialites I grew up with always were—and likely always would be—gossip mongers. When they weren't out spending Daddy Dear's money, they gossiped about the lives of others.
Half speculated Jay had gotten me pregnant, and to keep up Dolan Rhodes' public image, he married me so the child wouldn't be born out of wedlock. The other half suspected he was after my money—why else would a "no-good rat with nothing to show" marry into one of the most prominent businesses in Chicago?
Most Chicago socialites shared one braincell and smarts rarely worked in that one cell. Most, because I still had good friends from high school that were smarter to think I was pregnant, or my husband wanted my money. Especially a detective.
Jay was a kind man, better than half of high society's socialite boyfriends or fiancès. At least he had some decency to make it clear he didn't love me like a husband should, nor would he take advantage of the fact we were married to get into my pants.
"You know if I was him, I would've slept with you in an instant." Shay insisted, leaning against the back of the sofa as I scrolled through articles on my laptop. I'd originally been ordering new air masks for the team, but Shay wanted to snoop on the society I grew up in.
Gabby snorted, "you would've slept with Teddy even if you weren't married to her."
I had to agree with her. While I was into women, Shay was too close for me to think about a romantic relationship with, even just as friends-with-benefits. And considering we worked together, things would've ended awkwardly in the long run. We both knew that.
"Told you he was a good one." Gabby pointed at me. "Makes a good husband by the sound of it, and your family's alright with him. Your sister likes him, and your father hasn't said anything."
"Because he knows I'd just ignore him. As far as he's concerned, I'm in love with Jay." I snorted, turning back to my laptop. "Nothing beats a love match in high society."
Otis pointed at the articles popping up at the bottom of the website open. "You didn't say you're an heiress."
DOLAN RHODES HEIRESS FINALLY MARRIED.
RHODES HEIRESS MARRIED TO A DETECTIVE.
WHO IS DET. JAY HALSTEAD? WHY HAVE WE NEVER HEARD OF HIM?
The last title piqued Cruz and Otis' interest, both nagging me to click on it. As we do, photos the press took from the wedding infiltrate the screen.
"The wedding Theodosia Rhodes and Jason Halstead has been the talk of Chicago lately, with many speculating that Detective Halstead married into the Rhodes family for a piece of the money. Why else would a Canaryville native marry one of the richest young women in Illinois?" Cruz read out loud.
"Because he needed a wife?" Gabby deadpanned.
Cruz continued. "Dolan Rhodes doesn't hire just anyone. Marrying the second child of CEO Cornelius Rhodes would certainly give Detective Halstead the jump into getting his own store.
And let's not forget the dramatic difference on childhoods between the married couple. Detective Halstead grew up with one older brother in Canaryville, while Lieutenant Rhodes grew up as the older of two twins with an older sister. Rhodes' mother died by suicide when she and her twin brother were only ten years old, and Halstead's mother passed when he was 23 and deployed."
"Of course, my mother is brought up again." I grunted, sitting back as Otis took my laptop.
"Detective Halstead is made out to be a loving husband, but would he be there if something happens to the lieutenant?"
"Like any of these pampered poodles would be there if something happened," I rolled my eyes, watching Mouch jump channels.
Most calls happened during the day—people were awake then, and more likely to get in trouble. So we had the night to ourselves.
Which, with firefighters, meant sleeping.
Unless you were a 20-something newly-married lieutenant with a pile of paperwork to do that should have been done when you were on your honeymoon, but wasn't.
I needed popcorn to get me through it, since having Pride and Prejudice playing on my computer required popcorn. I knew we had some left over from a few days ago, so I snatched it from the shelf and put it in the microwave.
"Rough night?" I heard Herrmann's voice ask from behind me. When I nodded, he continued. "How's the marriage going?"
"In all truth, Herrmann, I don't know how it's meant to go. I mean, my mom and father's marriage was pretty much so there'd be good-looking kids guaranteed and a smart heir to the company."
He raised an eyebrow with concern etched on his face. "Is that what you want?"
I shrugged. I didn't know. "Jay told Brooklyn he wanted an amicable partner and a fine marriage that his mother's lawyer would believe, just in case that it took forever for the will to be done. I just wanted my father off my back."
"Do you want a fine marriage, as Halstead calls it?"
"What's with all the questions, Herrmann?" I frowned, taking the popcorn bag out of the microwave and emptying it into a metal bowl.
"I just worry about you, kid. You know you and Gabby are like daughters to me." Herrmann sat with me at the round table. "I can tell something's bothering you, and it's a different look to just paperwork."
I sighed. "I don't know how to be a good wife, much less a good girlfriend. I broke up with Chief Jones' son purely because my father didn't like him being a firefighter."
"I think that break up was more than your father's opinion."
"I don't know what I'm doing, Chris." I stuffed a few popped kernels in my mouth. "I offered myself up for him to sleep with me on our honeymoon and he turned it down."
Herrmann gave me a sympathetic smile. "He's a good man for you, Teddy. He's not taking advantage of a situation he knows you don't know anything about." He grimaced briefly. "Cindy might have mentioned your lack of...preparedness of marriage."
"Gee wow. I love Cindy and all, but—wow."
"She was hoping he'd take it as you only wanting your father off your back and nothing else, and it worked." He excused. "He knows you're doing as well as you know how. I'm sure he'll say something if he wants more out of this arrangement of yours."
I offered him some of the warm popcorn. "Thanks, Herrmann. You have some good advice—some."
"I'll take it." Herrmann shrugged. "Finish that and get some rest, kiddo. Can't have our Lieutenant Rhodes falling asleep on a call."
"You and I both know I could never!"
#
JAY
I knew the apartment would be quiet without her home, but I didn't think it would be quiet enough to hear a feather drop. Especially with housekeepers around.
I couldn't help but call Brooke. I needed someone to talk to and staring at the roof was driving me crazy.
"It's 3-freaking-am. You better not tell me someone's been murdered, because that'll be Voight in half an hour." Brooke's voice hissed through the phone. She was a cranky one whenever she got woken up from her sleep.
According to Thea, that was all Severides. Including Brooke's niece, who slept near all day anyway. Severide was alright with me taking her for the 24 hours he and Thea were working, but so long as Brooke was around and Elizabeth had gone back to Brooke's after we spent time together.
"Is that Mommy's husband?" And to say that little girl loved me was an understatement. Thea had been cautious about introducing me to her so soon, but Elizabeth had delighted over the wedding, and Brooke had to stop her from running after Thea's car when we left for the cruise.
"Yes, say hi to Mr. Jay."
"Hi, Mr. Jay! Do you miss Mommy too?"
I laughed at her question. Not because it was an outrageous thing to think, but it was true. I slept in the same bed with Thea for three nights, and I was missing her. A large, quiet apartment was a lonely one. I was used to living in my own, but I guessed that expecting someone home soon was what made me uneasy.
"I do. Your mommy's fun to be around." I answered truthfully.
Elizabeth let out an agreeing hum. "Mommy is fun. She lets me dress up and do things Daddy won't let me do."
"That's because Daddy says no, and you go to Mommy and she can't say no to you." Brooke snorted, and I listened to their play tussle over the phone. "Thea says she's always wanted a daughter, so when she and Kelly met Elle at the hospital, she immediately offered to help raise her. When Claire met her, she'd mistaken Elle as her sister's baby.
"Apparently Elle looked like Thea when she was a baby." It made sense, she still looked like her mother. Even if Thea didn't give birth to her.
Brooke excused herself, putting her phone on her bedside table, as she took Elizabeth back to bed. When she came back, she was getting a call from Kelly and said goodnight.
So I went back to staring at the ceiling. Then I looked at the bookshelf, glancing over the book spines. I recognised a couple Thea had been reading last week, and there were a few gaps between the book sections. Of course, separated by genre because—as Thea put it—she's not a monster.
I remembered her tour she gave of the apartment, and her showing me the spot on the balcony I was absolutely not allowed to stand on at any given time because the wild birds that visited her claimed that is their spot and she usually left seed out in the mornings she had work.
I'll put some out when I wake up, so she doesn't have to worry about it when she gets home.
One of the other bedrooms—there were five—was turned into her office where, if she wasn't doing CFD paperwork, she was reviewing store reports or resumes for potential store employees. The other four were the master bedroom—hers—mine, Elizabeth's and a spare room. We'd briefly discussed it'd be our future child's room, but she promised she wasn't expecting anything right away.
"CFD Firehouse 51, Lieutenant Rhodes' office." The house phone blared, and I almost forgot it did that. I rolled over to answer the phone on the bedside table.
I was expecting it to be her assistant when I'd answered, but her voice was instantly recognisable. "Did I wake you up?"
"No, I haven't been able to sleep." I excused. "How's work?"
"It's the usual, kid up a tree or in a hole he dug himself." She let out a breathy laugh. Thea went quiet for a moment, "lost a vic earlier."
"I'm sorry, Thea. That's rough."
She hummed. "I figured if anyone understood, you would." I couldn't argue with that, even though if I had to be called in, it was too late. We talked about stuff like that. "We have an engagement party to attend next week, an old friend of mine from high school. Loose term."
"Do you want me to buy an engagement gift?"
"No, no, she's got everything she could ever want and if she didn't, she could just ask her fiancé for it anyway. Just wanted to make sure you knew." I'd imagined social events would be a key feature of this marriage, and Thea had told me as such, but I'd figured nonsensical, baseline events like charity fundraisers where we'd only run into a few people she knew through her father.
She knew the engaged couple, so I'd have to act like I know her more than I actually do.
Make Brooke write a list of everything she knew about Thea.
"You can just wear a dress shirt and pants with your work shoes if you want," she continued, sitting her phone up on the desk as she opened her laptop. "What colour shirts do you have?"
"Uh, blue, black, and white—the one I wore at the wedding."
She hummed, and seemed to scroll through a website on her laptop. "We'll go with the white—if you don't mind—and I'll see if I can find a dress to match."
"Don't you have a dress picked out?" I asked, and Thea explained couples matching was the bride-to-be's thing. And likely the theme of their wedding. "Do you need me to do anything else?"
"Act like you're in love with me. I don't know how hard it could be, but I'm sure you'll find out."
The firehouse bell rang, and Thea said goodbye before hanging up. Act like you love me.
If I needed to put on a show in front of rich people, I could at least embarrass myself in front of friends first.
Brooke liked the idea of taking Elizabeth to see her mom and dad after work, so I convinced the girls to come buy flowers for Thea. Elizabeth led the way, of course, pointing out that her mother loved pink flowers and we settled on roses.
"Do you like Mommy?" Elizabeth asked, as Brooke strapped her into her seat. "Daddy says he likes Mommy a lot, and I asked him why he didn't marry her, but he doesn't like her that much."
"Because your mom and dad are best friends, like Mr. Jay and I," Brooke reasoned. "They love each other just as much as they love you, but it's a different love than you're thinking of, Sweet pea."
"Mommy and Daddy are best friends?" She looked at me with her little brown eyes sparkling. "Are you and Mommy best friends?"
"Someday, maybe. But we are friends. I used to be with Aunt Gabby."
Elizabeth giggled, "Auntie Gabby is funny. That's why Mommy likes her so much. Do you still like Auntie Gabby?"
"She's a Severide, naturally curious." Brooke smiled, sitting in the driver's seat. She looked at her niece in the rearview, checking if she was ready to see her parents.
When we arrived at the firehouse, only a few of the crew were sprinkling out and I recognised a few from the wedding. Thea's team, if I remembered them correctly. Elizabeth bounced at my feet, waving at her mother's team who happily waved back, and Brooke scrolled through her messages.
"They always take the longest; doesn't bother Elli though." Brooke snorted, playing a video showing her niece. Before long, her little voice squealed as Kelly and Thea walked out the apparatus doors with Casey and Gabby in tow.
As she ran towards them, Thea crouched down and opened her arms. "Principessa! Do you come to pick us up with Auntie Brooke?"
"And Mr. Jay has something for you!"
"I don't think you were supposed to say that, Elle," Kelly laughed, playing with her hair as Thea held her. He smiled at Brooke and nodded at me in greeting as we stopped in front of them.
"Aren't they pretty, Mommy?" Elizabeth meant the flowers, but Thea kept staring at me.
Kelly slipped his daughter from her arms with a "Tedd, I'm not an expert with romantic gestures, but I think you're meant to say something."
"Thank you," she squeaked. With a cough, this quiet Thea faded away. "You didn't have to."
"You're my wife."
Gabby practically squealed with Shay—Elizabeth's godmother—behind her and she gave them a side glance.
"I don't think I can do a big grand gesture every time I pick you up, but I can at least bring you flowers in a colour you like." I reasoned. Husbands who liked their wives did romantic gestures for their wives all the time, right? Sure, Thea was a means to an end and so was I, but it didn't mean I shouldn't bring her flowers or make her breakfast when I could.
Thea smiled, letting out a breath, before pointing at her BMW parked in front of the house. "I drove here."
"That's fine, I'll take Kelly and Shay home," Brooke laughed, passing Elizabeth to me. "Since it's your 48 hours with Elli, I'm sure Kelly won't mind her being with you."
Kelly and Thea gave each other silent looks—one which likely said I'd be a dead man at some point—before he agreed. He said goodbye to Elizabeth, and waved a goodbye to me as well.
Elizabeth fiddled with my collar as we walked to Thea's car. "He'll get used to you being around Elli. We agreed it was up to her if you're in her life, and she wanted to meet you, so he's adjusting."
"I'm fine with him not wanting me around Elizabeth, I understand. I wouldn't want a man I barely know around our young daughter either." Our?! Why did I say our?! Why did I assume we'd have a daughter?
"Mr. Jay missed you last night, Mommy. I bet it was really cold at Mommy's House without you there." She looked at Thea from the back seat. "He called Auntie Brooke because he was lonely."
"Because he and Auntie Brooke are best friends, principessa."
The ride home was mostly quiet, the occasional mention of something random from Elizabeth in the backseat. When she asked for snacks, Thea reminded her that there were snacks at home.
Getting to the apartment was less of a hassle with her around, since Doorman Willy recognised her from a mile away. There wasn't any triple checking to make sure we lived in the apartment, and Elizabeth enjoyed her lollipop as we rode the elevator.
Thea let out a sigh of content as she dropped her bag beside the door in the entry, fumbling with her keys to hang them on a hook with T etched into the holder. She'd gotten a J put above my key hook once I'd gotten the spare key, and a new spare was being made for her to give Elizabeth in ten years.
"Jay will put a show for you, and I'll get some snacks ready, okay?" When she received a nod, Thea headed into the kitchen. The apartment wasn't overly big, the kitchen and living room being open, with three bedrooms on the main floor and a loft above the kitchen. A laundry room was across the corridor to Elizabeth's bedroom along with a bathroom between them. Thea's ensuite was between our bedrooms; mine would become the spare bedroom whenever someone outside of Firehouse 51 and the unit would come by, and we'd move some of my things like photos into her room.
Thea set down the snacks in front of Elizabeth. "I'm going to figure out some dresses for upcoming events. You're fine to watch Elli for a few minutes, right?"
"Mommy runway!" Her daughter cheered, holding a carrot stick in one hand and a cookie in the other.
"Okay, let Mommy pick out a few dresses and you and Jay can rate them."
Elizabeth wiggled up onto the sofa, patting the cushion beside hers and eagerly signalling for me to sit down. Her mother had skipped off to get into some dresses.
The first was a pink off-the-shoulder dress that reached her mid-thigh, with bubblegum-like sleeves connected over the chest. It complimented her skin tone well, and thanks to her morning runs and her job, her legs worked with the dress rather than against it.
"Pretty Mommy!" Elli clapped her hands together excitedly.
Thea thanked her, giving her a curtsy as well as the dress would allow.
"It looks beautiful on you." I agreed earnestly. There was no point in lying—especially since she was warming up to me—and even a toddler could see she was beautiful.
We continued Thea's fashion show before Elizabeth became sleepy and was put to bed. "She was probably keeping Brooklyn up all night," Thea laughed, making sure the bedroom door was fully closed. The in-house chef mastered away at lunch, as we settled on the sofa.
We decided on a movie to watch, and sat in silence. Nothing inherently big happened, and we swapped watching the movie to being on our phones occasionally. "I've got a new candidate," Thea grunted, slumping further into the sofa.
"I thought Casey got the candidates."
"I sometimes get the chiefs' kids or the captains' brothers. They'd rather their candidate family members get 'better' training from a 'higher' officer." Thea rolled her eyes. "It's a load of bull, but at least it gives us something to do. Someone new, as well. Chief Jones' kid."
Why'd that name sound familiar?
Thea nodded beside me, "yes, one of my exes' little sister. She's a total sweetheart, but I think having a chief for a dad and officers for brothers gets to her head a lot of the time."
"You'll knock her down a few pegs, and get her into shape." I tried to reassure her, but I don't think she wanted it as she kept looking at her phone. I just thanked God that I wasn't in-charge of anyone too, and continued watching the movie.
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imagine being insane and cryptic and then your brother dobs you in to the feds
we do need to revisit the wording of "you can't have your cake and eat it too" because i don't think it clearly enough conveys that it's more that you can't simultaneously retain a cake and also get to consume it (which would render you cakeless). for years i was like But why not....it's my cake....?
#not to say i condone anything the unabomber did#its just a very sibling thing to do to dob you in#but in this case the brother kinda just saved everyone instead of just wanting to btoher the shit out of fhe unabomber#“you're doing stupid shit im telling mom!” ass shit#but more like “you're doing dumbass shit im telling the feds”#i dont know where i was going with this#other than being like “ah yes prime example of what i do to my brothers but at a life or death level”
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#me, dealing with anything
7 Days in Hell 2015, dir. Jake Szymanski
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