#because i know this one hits hard and we don't talk about it

[vi-is-badass]

@lady-griffin I agree with most of what you said here, but I definitely disagree that Vi was motivated by revenge when it comes to Silco. She believed in season 1 that taking out Silco was the only way to get her sister back.

I think this is clear in almost every action she takes. When she attacks Sevika in episode 5 she calls her a traitor but when she finally has her on the ground the only thing she asks about is her sister, not Silco. She went after Sevika because she knows she's one of the last people who saw Powder that night and might know what became of her.

In episode 8 when she's talking with Caitlyn in her bedroom she talks about that night as a failure on her part to protect her sister from Silco.

In episode 9 when she fights Sevika for the second time it's because she thinks that to get her sister she has to get rid of Silco and to do that she has to take out Sevika, his right hand man.

In that same episode when Vi talks about what gets her through prison it's the thought of getting back to Jinx, not getting revenge on Silco.

Her motives for the raid with Jayce are personal, but I don't believe revenge is what motivates her. If she was given the opportunity to live with her sister away from Zaun and Pitlover-- away from Silco-- I think there is a chance she would have taken it because at this point especially she’s motivated by her desire to protect and fear of losing those she loves.

Vi is a character that tries to do the right thing-- she does have a "good heart"-- but her trauma and the fact that she's constantly put between a rock and a hard place make it so she frequently makes the wrong decision or her decisions rarely pan out. (Vi was trying to mitigate casualties and damage when she became an enforcer, but it was definitely the wrong decision. Tries to do the right thing, but makes the wrong decision)

But everything you said in your last response about the lack of exploration of Vi's perspective on the grey, Caitlyn's descent, and the increasing brutality of the strike team are things that are sorely missing from the show. (my initial response was meant to counter the idea that Vi was out of character in act 1)

While this lack of exploration doesn't make her actions in act 1 out of character, I do believe it makes certain beats not hit as hard as they could have (like you mentioned with the scene where she stops Caitlyn from at shooting Isha and Jinx) and in some cases really hurt the "resolution" for her character in act 3.

I especially agree with your point about Vi turning the "I thought you were different" back on Caitlyn because her thoughts on Caitlyn's actions in act 1 and occupation of Zaun are woefully underexplored.

We only really get insight on her guilt over it all in the montage at the start of episode 5. She feels responsible for what Caitlyn has become and for being a part of the start of something that turned into an oppressive occupation of her people.

But we don't get true insight into her feelings on Caitlyn’s role as the commander, the checkpoints, the detainments that lack adequate cause, the brutality and oppression disguised behind a thin veneer of justice.

And I think this is a huge missed opportunity because of just how Vi falling for Caitlyn was framed in season 1.

Vi falls for Caitlyn in season 1 because Caitlyn chose to fight for her and the undercity. She didn’t have to fight— she had nothing to gain, nothing to lose if she didn't fight like everyone in the undercity— and yet she chose to fight anyway.

Caitlyn was genuine in her desire to help and fight against a system she learned through her connection to Vi has oppressed the people of the undercity. She also sees what Vi believes is the worst of her during the bedroom scene and still reaches for Vi anyway, giving her empathy and grace that has never been afforded to her before.

But then all of that crumbles in season 2. Caitlyn becomes the worst version of herself out of grief and the sudden immense responsibility thrust upon her shoulders and actively becomes the face of the oppression Vi and her people face. Caitlyn no longer wants to fight corruption and actively participates in it. Gone is the empathy and understanding of season 1. Gone is that desire to fight for Vi and the undercity that made her fall in love in the first place.

There isn't really any exploration of the betrayal that might have felt like because like you said Vi really did think that Caitlyn was different.

(Side note: I really love the idea of Vi repeating Caitlyn's justification for using the grey to Jinx. That would have been a fantastic way of showing that Vi was losing herself. Honestly every point you made in that last response was spot on. I also agree with your take on the hellfire montage. The lyrics definitely fit Vi and her perspective much more than Caitlyn's while the visuals are from Caitlyn's persepctive)

Caitlyn and Vi weaponizing toxic air pollution against the undercity and then Jinx and Sevika using Janna’s temple to recreate her legendary miracle by blowing that toxic air back onto Piltover.

Jinx (and Sevika) just became the hero Zaun needs.

[abearinthewoods]

One transmasc to another, please reflect on how your actions may cause actual harm to transfems.

A joke made in anger that is entirely unactionable does not warrant tattling to the organizations that are currently trying to strip all of us of our rights, and are looking for any reason to villainize our transfem comrades.

What’s been done cannot be undone, but please for all of our sakes remember that we’re all under the same boot, and licking said boot won’t make it any less likely to crush you too.

It’s our responsibility to take care of each other, learn from each other, and to look long and hard in the mirror when someone says your words and actions are harmful.

Solidarity. Solidarity. Solidarity.

(Most of this is answered here: https://www.tumblr.com/abearinthewoods/770794163004407808/okay-i-dont-know-a-lot-about-the-situation-but-i?source=share)

I need everybody to understand one uncomfortable but super important truth.

Class solidarity means an end to the oppression olympics.

You should never be looking in your neighbor's bowl to see if they have more than you, only to see if they have enough.

Like lets take a step back for a quick moment and recap whats going on here. She made jokes about killing one of the most unsupported and invisible members of the LGBTQ community, because why?

Like no, lets actually address that.

Trans men want to use terms like trans misandry and trans androphobia to talk about their oppression, not terms like trans misogyny and trans emasculation. and for this they got bomb and death threats from other people in the trans community?!?!?!?!?!?

Because trans men want to use words centered around their their hatchling gender, not their egg gender, to describe their oppression, because they don't want to center their discussions about their issues around some axis of women as the most oppressed, they got hit with a massively outsized amount of hate from (a tiny collection of, lets be very fucking clear here.) mostly trans fems who drunk a little too much of radfem's cis-male hate that they decided to transpose onto trans men. All escalating to bomb threats which my inbox is now also full of.

This is your brain on oppression olympics.

This is the threat to class solidarity.

This is the threat to class solidarity.

This is exactly what they want. For us to be fighting over who has it worse. I don't give a fuck who has it better or who has it worse, and i sure as fuck don't care about any narratives that center this question around one's identity or demographics as some kind of universal truths that overrides individually.

Even when I do bring up ways in which cis or trans men have it worse, or ways in which women commit crimes more than men, I try to focus it on purely countering the opposite narrative, to make sure I am only pushing the pendulum back towards the center, nothing more.

No experience is universal and arguments about stats and oppression and privilege tend to paper over peoples individuality.

Solitary means respecting how we are different. How that changes how we all experience the world. You can't tell a trans man you have it worse than him without disrespecting this because you can not know his life, what he went thru, how his brain's chemistry makes minor changes to how he sees or deals with adversity that build up over time, or how the same difficulties may be harder or easier for somebody to handle or overcome based how they were raised or what other experiences they went thru.

There is a reason why countries who are not at war with each other fly their flags all at the same height; never flying their flag above their ally's flag. They stand as one. United. Because that is what solitary actually means.

We stand at a fork. Down one path is trans men using words like trans misandry to talk about their oppression and trans rad fems on tumblr not interjecting with some bullshit, and down the other path is trans men still using words like trans misandry, but also the hostility comes out and you'll get shit like them telling the same trans radfems to stop calling their oppression trans misogyny, and start calling it trans misandry, and the whole world goes blind. Because i've seen how understandably upset trans women have gotten at me when they've mistakenly thought i was actually suggesting that, its not a blow in the gender war we'll come back from if it enters the discourse.

(as an aside thought experiment, its actually kinda hard to truly only be sexist in one direction. like one could argue that slutshaming is implying there is something dirty or unclean about men/manliness that they 'taint' women with by having sex with them. but you'd rightly call me dick if MRAs started showing up to the local feminism meet and interjecting that every time the topic comes up. And as an MRA, So would I. So please lets stop trying to argue over the "true" direction of acts of sexism and let people be individuals who experience and talk about it in their own way.)

((Final aside, it would make things easier for our intersex and enby brothers, sisters, and gender nonspecific siblings to cast aside this gendered concept of oppression))

[taylor-titmouse]

2024 Book Retrospective

i did this last year for all the books i released in 2023, and i've been looking forward to doing it again for this year because it was Such a wonky ride. i released 3 new novellas, collected 3 old ones in a new illustrated release, put out a new freebie, and dipped my toes into artbooks for the first time. that's not even including the multiple extra things i wrote this year but will release next year. it felt to me like i barely got anything out in 2024, but looking back i really did plenty.

anyway let's get into it! these will probably contain spoilers for the books because i want to talk about them openly. if you haven't read them yet... they're on sale for 40% off until the new year!

The Masson Circle Collection (1-3), released in January

so! we started out the year with this updated version of some of my earlier works. daffodils, carnations, and laurels were among my first forays into publishing novellas, and were the last of my romances before i transitioned more deliberately into erotica. the distinction is practically arbitrary since i do still write about people in love, but it's not the focus so much as the sexual titillation.

but anyway. because these were romances and not Porn (despite having explicit sex in them), and because they came out before i'd really hit my stride as an erotic author/illustrator in 2021/2022, they never got the attention i'd have liked for them! they were the last before i made the switch to properly illustrating my books; they had sketchbook sections at the back instead. i started the roger crenshaw series shortly afterward, which is when my work really took off. so it's like these stories just missed their window.

but i wanted people to read them! these stories and characters are dear to my heart and i felt like they deserved a fair shake, so i spent a month or so at the end of 2023 revising the text to be closer to my standards (though they were pretty good to start with!) and made 30 new illustrations for it. i kept myself Busy getting this ready. it would be a huge release to kick off the new year!

.... and then it didn't do very well anyway. lmao. maybe i priced it too high, maybe i didn't hype it enough, maybe it's because as much as i love all the characters, they're hard to draw and not as exciting as a monster of the day. who knows! but i'm glad i did it, if only for myself. as i've said, these stories were important to me and my growth as an author. if you like historical queer romance with a crime thriller edge, something like kj charles (because she was my biggest inspiration at the time) you should check these out! i promise they're really good despite being on the older side.

The Long Road, released in May

boy that's a big gap between january and may. so what happened there is i actually wrote the night guest first in january-february, and then the long road in march-april. but IMPORTANTLY, i learned my editor @petitemortality was going to become available for work again in april. it'd been probably a year since i'd had his hands on my work and i was Gasping for it. i've compared it to receiving the sponge treatment--just being put through the wringer and coming out So much better for it after a year of bad habits and complacency building up. so basically i put all publishing on hold until he could Fix Me.

and then i ended up rewriting both of those books practically from scratch based on his advice and godddd they really Were so much better for it. it's AGONY in the moment, but the work is worth it. anyway let's talk about the actual work huh.

the genesis of these characters is So funny, because i don't think a single one of them was created for the purpose of this story, rather they all existed as various mobs/nobodies to draw. the goblins and bandits beside vanesse were just designs i used a few times when i wanted to draw characters getting gangbanged. vanesse and angre were created Just for a patreon suggestion of "trans femme bandit queen fucking a trans masc knight". and tourmaline only exists because i wanted to draw a princess getting gangbanged and eveline didn't feel "right" for it anymore. and i ended up with this perfect mishmash of characters that slotted together into a story so naturally that i remember waking up in the middle of the night and banging out the outline in the notes app before falling back asleep and starting to write it the next day.

and it was received pretty well! it had a ton of buildup from me drawing the characters constantly for the duration of the writing and doing a ton of public worldbuilding for dwarves. god i love the worldbuilding for the dwarves. i'm desperate to get deeper into it, i just need to find the story for it. and the goblins. everybody loves the goblins and so do i. and vanesse. ahhhhh.... i'm just so fond of everybody in this book lol. just a big confluence of Toys.

oh yeah and since last year i picked favorite scenes, i think my favorite is angre's internal monologue at the start of his chapter. we get a lot of the worldbuilding there (so of course i like it) but also the Point of the book comes together. i'd struggled a lot with that whole bit in the first draft, but the final draft really just *chefs kiss* it works, for me.

The Night Guest, released in July

as i mentioned before i actually wrote this one much earlier into the year! and immediately had known it wasn't ready, and so backburnered it for months until my editor could essentially fix it. and he fixed the hell out of it. it was a directionless mess in the first draft because i hadn't figured out the characters' voices, what they actually wanted, why they behaved how they did, none of it. it was his idea to structure it more deliberately like an old folktale of a woman outwitting a best, and it snapped into place. of course it was a nearly total rewrite that added like 7000 words (and to this day i'm still not sure how) but it was completely worth it. i feel like i've said that multiple times in this post but it's always true. i cannot stress enough how much i was gasping for a good editing. it's like a cleanse.

this is another story that just sort of Happened out of nowhere. mrs. arakawa was a side character in the dragon double feature 2, and people liked her, and asked about her getting her own monster boyfriend, and so toru was born. partially to get practice drawing that bodytype, partially because i think onis are hot, and then the general shape of a story came to me and i started writing it. without a perfectly clear vision of what it would be. and that's how we got to where we were at the start of this. oops.

i have two favorite parts, the first being this illustration:

when toru is describing the oni woman he was supposed to marry. his entire narrative arc and personal struggle was constructed for the purpose of this joke. i agonized for DAYS, maybe weeks, trying to make his motivation of "i didn't want to get married" work with mrs. arakawa's own feelings about marriage and him having to leave at the end and come back and all of that. it was killing me. but it worked out in the end and i'm so happy it did because i still think the joke that he didn't want to marry a shoujo nadeshiko archetype because he thinks she's ugly is fucking hilarious.

my actual favorite scene is him and mrs. arakawa telling each other stories about themselves. i had a lot of fun trying to ape the rhythms of kabuki performance and rakugo with it.

Spring with the Unicorns, released in June

technically this ought to go before the night guest because it came out first but considering i wrote the first draft of the night guest in january *waves hands* it's all loosey goosey anyway

so this came about because i had the idea to do a book called Season's Breedings (so many of my books happen because i thought of a title and worked backwards from there) and it was literally just going to be the breeding habits of fantasy fuckworld creatures arranged by season. i wrote this one first because it seemed the easiest and then it was less than 4k words, and every other story i had in mind was going to be Much More than that and also didn't come together as easily. so on a very last minute whim i illustrated this and threw it out for free on the last day of pride.

it's me at my loftiest because i was going for a sort of third person omniscient fable type beat, because that's what unicorns deserve. i like it, and it's a good little treat to give out for free. especially because everybody loves the unicorns and loves asking me the same four lore questions and i can just say 'go read the free story' lmao.

it's too short to really have a favorite Scene but barberry is my favorite unicorn. just love everything about that guy. angry little bastard.

Poker Night with the Arizona Dogs, released September

it's not prose but it counts! this is the first artbook i've ever released, though technically not the first i ever made. the unicorn stockades series came before it but will be released sometime next year. it's a bit more spring-seasony. but anyway.

these are a lot of fun to make! i am, at my heart, a comic artist (my day job is graphic novels, buy my graphic novel it comes out in february) so telling a single story in multiple illustrations is kind of my bread and butter. and free use/gangbang stuff is like. perfect for it. everybody has to get a turn! and on top of that it lets me play in a space in a way prose doesn't. prose feels so much more official, more canon (which is how i think of the difference between my drawings and my books--books are canon, drawings are not). but with something like this it's easier to say it was just for fun. because it was! it was a lot of fun.

my favorite illustrations were the jackie-ralph licking ones (because i think i did a good job with the mouths and the folds and all) and the one with johnny with his hand over roger's face and hiding his own. jackie-ralph is probably my favorite of the dogs to draw because he's easiest but johnny is certainly my favorite of the Boys.

Objects of Affection, released in December

boy, this one huh! there is so much to say about this one. this one has like three separate catalysts that blasted together at the end of the summer and it just Happened all at once. there was a person requesting variations on "a mechanic taking advantage of an android they're repairing" for a few months on patreon that i kept meaning to do because it kept winning second place. there was another story i wrote that was too short to publish alone that i was like "okay what if i make a sci-fi anthology and one of the stories is robots..." and then i started rereading chobits for inspiration and it Pissed Me Off So Much how little it wants to engage with its own ideas.

and then the sci-fi anthology idea became only about the robots and i never published the original little short (which will come out next year as a freebie). and then my editor's computer Exploded for two months and he wasn't able to edit it ; ; the wait was Agony because this was one i really, Really did not want to release without proper feedback. something fucking Possessed me with this book and what it says about women and consent and masculinity and all the shit. like those are themes i've already touched in my other works, but in this one it was like turning the knob on a pressure cooker.

it's tough to think of what to say about it that i didn't say in the days after it was released. i've always been frustrated with robot stories that preoccupy themselves with the Theory of rights for artificial life and not the reality of rights for the people we already have. i'd watched astro boy 2003 and pluto shortly before starting (so i guess that's actually 4 things that came together) so Robot Rights!! stories were fresh in my mind and i'd found astro boy particularly frustrating with its insistence on pacifism from the oppressed robots as the government and populace kept abusing them. it is very hard to watch something that says "violence is never the answer! don't fight back, choose peace!" while your own country is aiding and abetting a genocide and obsessing over retribution for a single attack born of decades of settler violence as if they are in any way equivalent.

breathes out

so anyway that's why i chose to write about robots who undeniably do not have sapience, humanity, or rights. because we haven't come even close to solving the issue of rights for ourselves, particularly women (an admittedly easier topic to approach in an erotic work than the horrors of racially motivated war). and between chobits, which suggests a world obsessed with androids but doesn't deeply explore the social ramifications of a female-shaped servant class, and my research into real dolls, the closest thing we already have to fuckable brainless androids, there is a lot of material to draw inspiration from. how a person treats an unperson, particularly one shaped like a woman, will reflect upon how they treat a real person, a real woman.

to be less of a bummer and talk about the Stories, ratna's was the first i wrote, and went through the most revisions between drafts as i tried to figure out her whole deal. she was always going to be a stone butch dyke mechanic, so how would that sort of person feel in her line of work? would she be a stereotype of man-hating lesbian, and sympathetic to the android girls she has to send home with them? or would she be an unrepentant sleeze, just as bad as everyone she works for? i think i ended up somewhere in the middle. she doesn't like men, but doesn't think of herself as better for not being one. she thinks she's better because she isn't better, but at least acknowledges it. and figuring that out was important to figuring out the character. and also going in way harder on the beauty of the mechanism. that was mainly for You Guys, but it was crucial to her character working.

touma and shima's story came to me like a lightning bolt as i was leaving for a vacation. it was going to be, if you can believe it, Even More toxic yaoi. touma ws going to jerk shima off from behind as he fucked mari-ko, it was going to be way more explicit that he was mainly attracted to shima. but ultimately none of that served the actual purpose of the book, about treating people as objects and tools, so i dialed it back. but don't get it twisted touma is still insane and obsessed with shima and wants to touch his cock. but the story as it exists is a more realistic place for him to be at.

and samart and marinette's story was pretty much unchanged from first to final draft. the concept waffled a bit before i started writing, where my first idea had been that he makes her participate in taboo fantasies (calling him big brother, telling him no etc) and the narrative basically asking the question--is this wrong? is it better because she's not real, because he's doing it with her and not a real woman? does her 'no' matter if it's a 'no' she was ordered to say? is it worse because she can't meaningfully consent to the play either way? does any of it matter beyond the effect it has on him?

but as much as i'm interested in unpacking those concepts, i decided they would be too difficult for the audience and potentially open me up to scrutiny and abuse, because you can't even breathe the word "incest" without having your doors beaten down. the book as a whole is difficult, and i want it to be difficult, but i didn't want it to become about That. so instead i went with exploring the sort of loneliness and misanthropy of a person who lives the way he does, and i'm satisfied with it. i think it's the sharpest of the three stories.

wow i had nearly twice as much to say about that one than the rest. lol.

but that's it! that's everything i released! as i hinted throughout there were several other things i wrote this year that will see release next year. i have a free short, a $3 short, a novella awaiting editing, and at least two more artbooks to release. there'll be plenty for me to write about in next year's retrospective.

my writing goal for 2025 is to finish a novel. i did actually reach a finished draft with starbuster, the novel i've been pecking at for the past two years, but having done so and mapped out all the work it needs to be submission-ready, i've put it down semi-permanently. it simply needs too much and it's a bit too niche for traditional publishing, and it's in a genre (contemporary) i don't really want to write more of. so the best use of my time is on something else. it's a shame, but it's for the best! hopefully something will crack me upside the head with inspiration and it'll just Happen like all my best work seems to, lmao.

but if you've read all of this, or just read some of it, thank you!! thank you for supporting me for another year, or the first year if you just got here. if you haven't read everything i put out in 2024, it's on sale until jan 1st! go pick it up for cheap!!

[verdantwyrm]

Man, I have got to learn to stop going into the comment sections of mouthwashing playthroughs because of the same old tired takes getting circulated there. Like one comment I saw said Curly was acting all "buddy buddy" with Jimmy after he figured out what happened to Anya, and it's like huh, I guess you missed the subtlety of the score playing while Curly is trying to find Jimmy. That being that Curly is low-key panicking about the situation and so the things he's saying to Jimmy could be coming from a fawn response rather than him just trying to comfort Jimmy.

It's why I don't bother either, I already see enough bad takes just on here. I avoid mouthwashing tiktok like the plague.

Even if you want to read Curly as being "buddy buddy" with Jimmy it is very very very obvious that something is up. Ignoring the music, the dialogue alone is extremely unnatural. We've seen Curly be confident, with Anya it's confident and comfortable. With Swansea its stern as is his role as Captain but forgiving, with Daisuke its firm but again, forgiving. It's very evident that Curly has the confidence for his role and the ability to hold that in situations of stress while still being lax and carefree because he trusts his crew, he holds no personal interest or respect for Pony Express so theres no reason for him to be cruel or unfair; and despite that, he's still the Captain and he most certainly can express that when he so desires.

But not with Jimmy. When he's with Jimmy he's frightful, unsure of himself, scared to defend himself or even speak up because he would much rather be the one taking the hits than not at all because it also meant Jimmy had a target to vent his frustrations or anger out on. Much rather it be him than someone else, thays why he tries so hard to be the one in between, either as a mediator or so he could step in whenever necessary. He was willing to do as much as possible to fawn, please and be in the way, both mentally and physically, so if the worst to happen it would only happen to him.

He's panicking because he's never seen Jimmy so worked up so he defaults to the same three points as if he's reading from a script because he genuinely doesn't know how to approach the situation in a way that benefits them both in some way.

Jimmy gets to let his frustrations out and Curly gets a calm Jimmy, someone thats more agreeable, calmer and possibly even less dangerous. Someone that you can approach with other topics with much less risk, which could have been the original plan; to let Jimmy get his frustrations out, calm him down enough to sit and talk more about their options regarding the situation. All we know for certain is that he wanted so badly to be there with Anya when she told Jimmy.

[severinewrites]

Finding Independence Without Love

Musings of independence with the absence of love feat. Moominvalley

Dependency is common in some relationships and could happen in both platonic and romantic relationships. We see our partners/friends as a source of happiness every time we feel down. Our clinginess strengthens when we have a special person in our lives, thinking of them as a person without flaws or perfect. This can be an unhealthy way of how we act or think in our relationships with other people, we can’t expect they’ll satisfy our needs immediately, it’s like you are viewing them as the top of our pedestal, admiring them a lot.

I am saying this from my perspective as a young adult, I’ve experienced the first time feeling disappointed in my ex-crush when I hear he likes someone else. It hurts a lot to hear from the person you’ve admired for so long like someone other than you, I mean, it’s a universal experience, right? Getting disappointed or rejected, you start to get mad at yourself like hitting, pulling your hair, or even slapping yourself for not getting chosen, you feel like an idiot for being delusional thinking you’re the “one” for them. It’s a tragic feeling, I know��but I tried to forget about them, not as a friend but as a “crush”.

During my Christmas break, I struggled to cope with my feelings, so I doomscrolled YouTube for 10-12 hours for 3 days straight without reaching out to someone because I needed to isolate myself from what happened, trying to forget it ever happened. Then, I stumbled upon a show called “Moominvalley” on my for you page, I decided to watch the clips, and guess what? I fell in love with it quickly even though it’s been 3 days since I knew about this show. Moominvalley is a comforting show, and what intrigued me about the show is the character Snufkin, an easygoing and carefree enjoys thinking about things and always comes and goes as he pleases, going on adventures. Like Snufkin, I enjoy solo trips, I'm not a big fan of trips with my friends (depends on my mood but I prefer solo to groups) since I do treasure my alone time a lot, able to think about stuff or explore everywhere without any people around trying to drain my energy emotionally and physically. With my solo trips, I'm able to reflect on many stuff without any distractions. Just because I enjoy being alone doesn't mean I don't feel lonely… I have friends who care about me a lot—including my ex-crush but despite them being overall supportive and approachable, I can't help but try to push them away from me—isolating myself, especially what happened between my ex-crush and me, I can't face them anymore something that leads me to isolate myself from them and my friends, not wanting help or comfort from them anymore. I shut myself from them, I don't want to make things complicated. Snufkin really relates toMoninn on a deeper level, making him my kin since he does push away friends, has abandonment issues, fears getting attached, is sad on the inside, and struggles to talk/chat with someone.

Through the show Moominvalley, I’ve learned the hard way that even the people you deeply love and admire, you need to accept that you can’t control how they feel or act, because well… they are humans, right? They deserve to feel or act what they want, even having feelings for somebody they like, even if it’s not you. It’s sad because that person made you feel alive or wanted, through the physical touch, words of affirmation, and more—makes me so special to them. Maybe that’s the reason why I fell in love with them in the first place. This also relates to the relationship between Moominttoll and Snufkin, Moominroll being clingy and a bit obsessed to Snufkin makes him admire him because of his adventures but unlike Snufkin, he tries to avoid any attachment to Moomintroll, resulting him to leave everytime to get some alone time or to isolate himself in his adventures. Moomintroll is also one of the characters I've kinned too, him being so clingy towards Snufkin reminds how I acted towards my ex-crush but not as obsessive, just right. Moomintroll has longings for Snufkin, always wanting to be in his side everytime, like how I've wanted to be in my ex-crush's side whenever I have a chance too—but sadly they found someone they always want to be close with… I'm glad for them but I tend to feel lonely without them around, yearning for some message or conversation from them—nothing is the same anymore as before… but that's life, there will be changes, whether you like it or not.

Therefore, I still need time for myself and watch more Moominvalley to find my purpose in life outside heartbreaks. Even I would love to talk/chat with them, it’s time to use this vacation to take a break from them for a while, giving myself time to grow as an independent person—not needing their comfort or help and focusing on my passion for writing, like what I am doing right now. Sometimes, we need to depend on ourselves, without needing anyone to fix us. That's what I did to cope.

To end this, I would like to add a quote from Moominvalley from the character Snufkin, he once said:

“You can't ever be really free if you admire somebody too much.” - Snufkin (Moominvalley 2019)

This quote explains we can't really be free if we admire that special person too much, draining your energy mentally and emotionally. I wish I've heard this show during my childhood then I wouldn't have to deal with heartbreaks all of the sudden. But I guess things happen for a reason. Moominvalley is truly a masterpiece, especially the creator itself Tove Jansson, the one responsible for making this beautifully crafted show for us to love and enjoy, making us learn meaningful lessons.

We humans seek longing, wanting be loved by that person we admired but I know we're better than that—I’m better than that anyways! We know that those people we love are humans too, so why waste our time waiting for approval from them? We could try to look after ourselves and be a independent with or without them—needing no love from them at all! Love can wait but not with hopes and dreams, our passions in life are much more important than some hopeless romance. We don't need that person we deeply admire to take over our lives, we should move forward and never look back! It's such a shame not to take a chance to do what you're passionate about when we only live once.

With Moominvalley, It's possible for us to grow to independent individuals thriving to make the world a better place! With my strong love for writing, I could write freely, writing down my musings, feelings, and emotions. I’m grateful to be alive where the world is filled with endless possibilities, where you can be free from everything! Be who you want to be, explore everything until you find your purpose—that’s the beauty of independence without love!

“It is simply this: do not tire, never lose interest, never grow indifferent—lose your invaluable curiosity and you let yourself die. It's as simple as that.” - Tove Jansson (Fair Play 1989)

[gazsluckyhat]

The Set Up

Thank you @miss-vanta-likes-to-write for encouraging me to write this idea out. This was not how I originally thought it'd go. At all.

TW: dubious consent, sex acts, the works

Kylie didn't need a alpha. She was just fine without one.

or

Who's afraid of the big bad wolf?

Kylie was on her fourth book of the month. She'd stayed up late to finish the third last night. She didn't sleep much anyway. She was four chapters in, her tea perched in her hand when she smelt it. Alpha. She sat up a little taller, took her hair clip out of here hair so it covered her scent gland. Focusing on the ducks swimming in the pond she listened for a sign of someone. She'd picked this spot because no one came this way. It was quiet and calm. She didn't have to worry about the alpha's trying to court her or the screaming children. Whoever it was, was getting closer, the smell of timber and musk floating it's way into her nose. There were two scents, but she didn't feel like untangling them. Alphas were Alphas and she was not in the mood today. A migraine was crawling it's way up her neck.

"Hi." Kylie didn't wanna look up, the sun was bright today. But she was not rude. Two men. One was sun kissed, the other slightly darker. They were both bulky, clearly spent a lot of time outside. They were the same height, which towered over her.

"Hello." They were grinning ear to ear, like they'd just found hidden treasure. The one with the mohawk sat to her left while the other one chose her right. Both threw their arms across the back of the bench. Men and their audacity. "Can I help you boys?" The book closed in her hand, she took a sip of the tea.

"I'm Kyle, this is Johnny. We noticed you and had to stop and say how beautiful you look." Kyle smelt of verbena and lemongrass. Johnny was timber and musk. Both intoxicating. Both strong. The scent sent her head into a spin.

"Thank you, but I am in fact not interested." She hoped they could catch the hint. Johnny lent closer and took a deep breath in. He was pressing his face agaisnt her hair and the scent gland there.

"You're not mated, can't smell anything but you Bonnie." Kylie gave a firm push. This was out of hand. Forcing herself up she shoved the book into her bag and faced them.

"That is none of your business. In fact this is on the verge of sexual harassment." Kylie wasn't some tiny little omega who'd roll over for them. "Now if you don't mind, I'm leaving." Turning she stomped away. Not knowing that instead of deterring them away she'd given them a bone to chew on.

Done. Completely done. The pond had been abandoned, Alphas had invaded her safe space. Kylie had tried a coffeeshop. Sat in the farthest corner with airpods shoved in. A hours of nice and calm with a huge tea. Until the smell hit her. She didn't even have to look up to know who had slid into the seats before her. The next day she'd chosen the library. Two huge alphaholes would never been set foot in there. Until they did. Both smiling and fucking off. So done didn't even qualify to describe how she felt. She wasn't dumb though. She knew military when she saw it. She'd done her own research and happily found who their commanding officer was.

"Are you sure this is the right thing to do?" Candance was the omega everyone wanted. All pretty smiles and soft curves. "What about the police?"

"I'll be fine Candy. I'd rather not talk to the cops." The parking lot was slammed. Meaning everyone was on base. "I have to hop off. I'll let you know how it goes okay?" With a sigh Candy hangs up, Kylie shut the car off and puts her phone into her pocket. Getting in was gonna be the hard part. There were two soldiers stationed at the guard house. Forcing her face into a stern look she stopped in front of them men.

"Can we help you?" Kylie nodded.

"I need to speak with Captain John Price. It's about two of his sergeants." Kylie straitened her back. Men assumed she'd roll over and play dumb, but not her.

"Yeah? You another one of their little playthings?"

"Hah! Did they dump you and now you're all upset? Gonna cry to their daddy?" Red colored her face. A whore? They assumed she was a simple whore?

"I would never-" Their faces dropped as a shadow was thrown over her from behind.

"Don't think daddy would like to hear you talkin' 'bout the girl like that." Turning around Kylie was met with a black hoodie, she had to tilt her head all the way back before making eye contact. Brown eyes surrounded by a black mask. Her stomach dropped. Fear enveloping her bones.

"Sir! I'm so-" The man just nodded his head.

"C'mon, dove." He started to walk in front, before stopping and turning to see if she was following. "Don't stand there. Daddy wants a word."

Everyone watched as they walked across base. The tiny little thing following behind the big hulking soldier. Kylie was terrified. She'd had a whole plan but at the sight of, whoever, she'd forgotten it. Her hands were clammy and she couldn't think stright. He'd smelt like salt and orange. Her omega was going crazy. Three Alpha's who seemed to know her already so close? She was basically dripping. Coming across a door the man stopped to open it for her. As she went to walk through he stopped her, ducking his head to scent her.

"Boys were right." Coulda swore he said but he was already moving to allow her in. It was a housing area. Barracks, she assumed. The man was right behind her, he'd set a hand on her shoulder to guide her. She needed to get out. Couldn't help but feel like a trap. "Here we are." The door was cracked, a low light shining from inside.

"Captain, girl's here." Kylie was gonna throw up. Her nerves were rattled. Stepping in she smelt cigar smoke, and pine. At this point her omega was clawing it's way to the forefront of her mind. Basic needs begging to be fulfilled. Sat behind the desk was a middle aged man. He had a cigar balanced between two pink lips. Facial hair dotted his jaw to his ears. He was smiling at her. She couldn't help but feeling like a naughty child being brought to the principal.

"You must be the pretty little omega my boys have been telling me about?" Her cheeks darkened again, fear crawling up her spine. "What's your name, darling?" She was frozen in place, couldn't move let alone remember her name. He stood up and walked around the desk to tower over her.

"The guards were giving her a rough time. Scared the poor thing." A hand was rubbing her hair. Like a mother to a scared child. The Captain used two fingers to tilt her head even further back.

"Poor thing. Did they scare you Lovie?" He knelt down to her level. They were mocking her. Shame filled her head. Anger following right behind it. Shoving his hand away and stepping from the other man Kylie puffed her chest up.

"Get off of me. Neither one of you have permission to touch me. I've come here to file a complaint about your two sergeants, but maybe I should go higher up." Before she could step out she was pressed agaisnt the wall, two noses tucked right into her neck.

"Told ya' cap. She so pretty." Johnny.

"Smells like honey." Kyle. I'm were a goner. Her brain was melting from the heat on her skin. 

"You boys did good. Getting us a pretty little omega to play with." She could see the captain watching from beside the tall one. They watched as Kyle and Johnny kissed and sucked on her neck.

"Please. I want to go ho-mmm" Pressure was forming along her pelvis, leading down between her legs. Her omega was whining.

"That's a good girl. Sound so pretty." Kylie couldn't think stright. Not with the continuing pressure and the added kisses to her neck.

"Now boy's, let Simon have a turn." With horror, Kylie watched as the boys parted to allow the giant of a man between her legs. Everything about him was large. Hands took up the width of her back, his hips pressed down into her to keep her still. He pulled her hair back into a fist to get a big whiff of her scent. The growl from the back of his throat sent heat to her core. Her omega wanted this, whatever this was. Kylie tried to pry him off her, tried to grasp the last of her coherent thoughts that told her to leave but it was no use. She was fully pressed agaisnt the way, Simon's hand latched to her flesh as his hot and wet tongue made a track across her cheek. What she thought was a whimper turned out to be a loud moan. It was like her senses had been turned up to ten. She was burning up. Simon was a thousand degrees and it was stifling. His mask was ripped off leaving behind a scarily handsome face marked by scars. He nipped at her jaw, forcing two fingers into her mouth.

"Neem 'em nice and wet dove, think you can do that?" Kylie moaned around them. Just like the rest of him they were huge and thick. She didn't need him to tell her what he planned on doing. With a wet noise he pulled them out, replacing them with his own mouth. His kiss was messy. All gnashing teeth and little nips. Kylie didn't have time to argue, he quickly shoved them inside of her, watching as she sobbed into his mouth. He could feel her jump a little, trying to get away from the intrusion.

"We need her nice and soft Simon." The captain was watching, sat behind his desk. She was fully wrapped up in Simon, his fingers working her open. Kylie tried to push him away, it was all too much. But someone was pinning her hands above her head. The Captain. "Now, be a good girl and hold still. We're gonna make you feel good, doll." He was pressing his lips into her neck. Simon was fully sucking her lips into his mouth.

"She's so fuckin' tight Price." The captain grunted in reply. The pain was turning into pleasure. Fast and hot and straight to her core. Her fingers were speeding up, she was close to breaking apart. Mumbling to try and get him off was failing. "She's close. Can feel 'er squeezing my fingers."

"Good girl. Just like that. Cum on Simon's hand." Price was whispering in her ear, licking the shell of it. "Need a bit more? Need daddy to play with your clit?" It was degrading, how he was talking to her. But it made the lava that much hotter. He slipped his hand between her and Simon's bodies. He found her dripping around Simon's hand, her clit engorged begging him to touch her.

"Fuck. She liked that." It was too much. The pressure inside her felt like it was gonna blow, she was gonna pass out. She could feel it. Price kept twisting and stroking and rubbing. Something was tightening inside her, like a string. Kylie was sobbing now. Sobbing from the intense pleasure.

"Look boys. Look at our good little omega. Gonna cum for us already." It snapped. White light seemed to wrap around her as she tightened every muscle she had. Simon continued to finger her, drawling out her orgasm to the last second. "That's enough Si. We still need her conscious." Kylie couldn’t feel a thing, she could hear voices and feel herself being manhandled then something hard agaisnt her back.

"Gentle Johnny, don't break her on the first go." She could feel something nudging between her lips, the ones between her legs. They brushed agaisnt her clit and she whined. It was still too sensitive. Something warm and wet wrapped around one of her nipples and she tried to pull away. "Now, now. C'mon doll. Don't run away."

"Too--much." A hand wrapped around her throat. The thing between her legs began to push into her, stretching her wide. The thing on her breast moved to the other one.

"You're gonna take it Bonnie. Every. Single. Inch." Each word was punctuated by the slam of his hips. The hand pressing harder on her throat causing her to go dizzy.

"Mmm. She so soft." Kyle whined as he bucked into her thigh. "Gonna blow my load watching you fuck her." Johnny laughed, he was repeatedly slamming into her, her head now hanging over the edge.

"Mouth open?" A pause then a grunt before Kyle was placing himself over her head and filling her mouth up. Kylie was completely gone. Her omega purring happily as the guys continued to fuck her stupid. She'd forgotten her reason for coming here in the first place. The intense pleasure was beginning again, but harder. It was happening quicker too. She tried placing her feet on the desk, was choking on Kyle's dick down her throat.

"Don't you dare knot her McTavish." The captain was grabbing him by the scruff of the neck. Kylie moaned around Kyle. Price met her eyes. "That's my job." Kylie's omega was mewling at the sound of that. Stright up begging to be knotted.

"Yes, yes captain." His hips were stuttering. He was gonna finish. With a muffled noise Kylie came, her lips tightened around Kyle, him finishing in her mouth. Johnny quickly pulled out and finished across her stomach. She was wore out. So tired she could hardly keep her eyes open. But they weren't done with her. Hand made their way up her sweaty and redden skin.

"Mmm. Can't." She couldn't properly make words out.

"Simon, hold her up for me." Then she was being lifted and held agaisnt a chest. Lips pressed agaisnt her ear. Simon was breathing loudly, it was hot and heavy on her skin. Her legs were lifted up and bent so her knees touched her shoulders, Simon looped his arms under her knees and locked his fingers. She was trapped agaisnt him. He had her pried open for Price to feast on.

"Look so pretty like this 'mega. Like a dinner, all laid out." His fingers strolled through her folds, her muscles spasming in Simon's hold. John pressed two into her, loving the sound of her whimpers. "I think you have two more in you, Yeah, Simon?" His lips moving agaisnt her ear.

"At least, Capin'." His fingers tightened. John's were removed and instead replaced with his cock. Leaking and thick as he pressed it into her. Loving the way she sucked him in. "Hmm. So hot taking the Captains cock, dove. Gonna fill you up, get you on his knot so you can't run." In the depths of her mind Kylie knew this was wrong. Knew that knotting her without her consent was the bad thing. But her omega was controlling things now. And she wanted nothing more than his knot.

"God doll, you're so fucking tight. Want you to cum arounds me. Want to feel it gushing." Kylie couldn't control the blinding pleasure that was licking it's way across her skin. Crying she shook her head. "Yes, be a good girl and cum for your daddy." Kylie screamed, loud and clear with a sob on the end. Her body went limp in Simon's arms, John continuing to pound into her, his knot catching. With one final and big slam he was locked in. Her body convulsing in their arms, one last orgasm pulled from her. Her eyes falling shut as her body finally shut down.

tags: @miss-vanta-likes-to-write

[strawberryblue-blog]

Beg for you —Hector Fort.

summary: You and your friends go to a college party where there is a man who flirts with you but you don't want anything to do with him (or maybe yes)

warnings: Yes. +18. smut, sexual tension, argument, enemies to lovers, college romance.

words count: +2.1k.

#SEXYNOTE: Merry Christmas (late) to my readers. I wanted to thank you all for your support. I love you all so much 💙🦋

The evening breeze hit your body as your friends laughed at a gossip told by one of them, you had been talking, dancing and having fun for several hours. The bottle in your hand kept emptying as the hours passed and you began to feel like going home.

You had a big exam tomorrow and you had only come because your friends had asked you to but you were supposed to be studying. You weren't a prude either, you liked to go out to parties and enjoy yourself with your friends but tomorrow was a big commitment and you couldn't miss the most important exams of your first year.

"Someone has a hot admirer" squealed your friend towards you, pointing to the group of boys behind you.

As soon as you turn a little, you see the boy in a round with his friends while his gaze is paid on you. Shameless. Looking at you like he wants something. Something you won't give him. He smiles flirtatiously and raises his glass to you, as if he's toasting you.

In return, you raise your hand and flash your middle finger right in his face.

"More of a stalker than an admirer, I'd say" you mutter rolling your eyes, turning back to them. Your friends laugh.

Since you had arrived, the boy had been staring at you and you were already starting to feel uncomfortable. You didn't want to be here but it was the first time you had been invited to a senior party and your friends had used your stalker to come.

It was a party in the backyard of the football team's fraternity house and he was the football team's captain. Hector Fort. Star player and leader of the college football team. A walking cliché who you don't want to get involved with.

"Come on, Y/n" says another amused one. "He's just a man, one who's interested in you!" she complains and the others agree.

"Following me around after class, inviting you guys over to blackmail me, texting me without my consent? I don't think so" you reply, listing situations.

Hector has been interested (or so they say) in you. After hitting you in the head with the ball in gym class, he had tried to approach you but you wanted nothing to do with him.

"Just play along a little longer, so we'll get invited to parties and we can hang out with cute and famous guys" your friend asks pouting.

"You can have it if you want, I'll pass" you say finishing your bottle.

No way. You're not attracted to him at all, not even with that tough guy look. He would never be interested in someone like you nor would you be interested in someone like him. You're just not compatible. It's probably some bet with his friends like the typical ones they make every time with a new girl. You won't spend your first year of college with a broken heart or being the mockery of the entire college.

"Did you hear that Karen slept with the History teacher?" one of them asked changing the subject and you obliged as they started whispering about it.

"I'm going to the bathroom, I'll be right back" you comment as they continue to tell the gossip. They nod and wander off into the crowd.

It's not hard to find the bathroom, since you know the place. It's not the first party you've been to here, but like all parties, you have to wait at the door for the bathroom. When finally the young man who was inside manages to get out, between stumbling and complaining, you enter the bathroom. Inside, you do your business and wash your hands.

A knock on the door makes you sigh. You've only had a minute of peace.

"Busy" you squeak and go about your business.

You can barely hear the music and you splash your face with water as you feel a slight dizziness. Damn. You shouldn't have drunk, you'll have a headache tomorrow. But you were a little stressed and finished the first bottle in one gulp when your friend gave it to you.

Again, the door rang again. But you didn't say anything. That it would hold, it was only a second and you hadn't been in for long.

"Busy!" you yell again as you feel the door ring again and someone opens it.

Just as you want to interject your body to stop it, a manly figure enters the bathroom with you and closes the door behind him, locking it with the latch. Shit. You hadn't done it, the door was open as if you had planned it. Your eyes see the boy leaning against the door with his hand on the doorknob.

"What are you doing?" you ask confused, you try to grab the doorknob but he gets in the way.

Your air starts to go short and you become defensive, especially as a shiver runs down your spine. It's dangerous to be around people like him, more so at a party, drunk, stoned and crazy.

"Let me out" you ask in fear. "Or I'll scream" you swallow saliva.

Hector smiles sideways, playing innocent.

"You're even cuter with red cheeks" he mutters molly, trying to generate something in you, which is nausea.

It's an involuntary act. Your cheeks turn red from the alcohol, of course. You lower your face somewhat embarrassed but remember that he won't generate anything in you. You raise your brow high again and look at him.

"I'm going to scream if you don't move" you insist crossing your hands across your chest, looking to protect yourself. "Let me go."

Although you don't feel safe, you don't feel insecure either. But you can't trust him, he's a man, an enlarged and predatory one and you don't know him at all.

"Does playing hard to get work for you?" he asks with a smirk still leaning against the door with his body relaxed, as if he enjoys this.

You bite your tongue beginning to rage. Suddenly you feel warmth in your body, as if you are suffocating. Even your teeth screech from talking back to him.

"Does playing an idiot work for you?" you lash out at once. He laughs.

"What do you want? I have to go right away" you say raising an eyebrow.

Hector bites his lip and takes a step towards you, which leaves you motionless for a few seconds but then you also take a step backwards away from him. You get defensive, not letting him make another move.

"Talk to you" he mutters taking another step. "Or maybe... not talk" he licks his lip again and you grimace.

"I have nothing to talk to you. We have nothing in common to talk about. I've already told you that, Hector" you reply exhausted.

All the times he had tried to get close to you, you hadn't let him. He used to look for you after school, when he had lunch with the girls, while you were running around in gym class, he had even gone to your room but you never answered him. He could keep insisting that you weren't going to give him what he wanted.

"Says you" he takes another step towards you and you take another step back.

Even though there is still distance between you, you begin to feel your stomach churn. He's only a foot away from you and you fear he's getting closer. The atmosphere is tense, desperate and suffocating. It was obvious that your primary interest was to get out of here, but you were certain that Hector was not going to make it easy for you.

You take a careful breath, without even moving, you don't want him to notice that for some reason you are starting to get nervous. His closeness is dangerous, everything about him is.

"We could have a lot of things in common if you wanted" he smiles sideways as he takes another step.

And you try to take another. But you don't really take it, because the space between you and the sink is gone. Your body slams against the marble countertop behind you and you are pinned between it and Hector.

You swallow as the distance between you is minimal, you can almost feel his body brush against yours. Your startled eyes watch his smug eyes, his sideways smile as if he is flirting with you and his poker face. A small bead of sweat begins to descend on the back of your neck and you swear you've never been so tense and nervous as you are right now. You have no escape.

"As I said there's nothing you and I could have in common" you mutter harshly.

Playing hard to get (even though you don't really do it) was always easy for you. You didn't come to college to flirt with football players or men in general, you're not a saint either but you don't need to get involved with people like him to feel better or more valued. College jocks are a cliché like the typical American movies, they are handsome, applied, talented and kind, they can have any girl at their feet. Sleeping with them is a privilege and if they choose you and you can't refuse. Who the fuck imposed that rule? You are free to choose who you want and not want too.

"If you want I can prove it to you" he raises his perfectly delineated eyebrow.

One of his hands takes a lock of your long hair and begins to play with it, crossing it through his fingers as his gaze drifts to your mouth and back to your eyes. Your heart is pounding and even though you want to run, you just stand there.

You look at him with a 'surprise me' face waiting for his demonstration as you roll your eyes. He cocks his head slightly, smiling before he moves completely closer to you.

His hands hold your hips and then circle your ass, lifting himself off the floor ignoring your complaint. He sits you down on the wash counter and positions himself between your spread legs, hugging your waist as his lips impact against yours.

For a second you are in complete shock, your hands refuse to touch him and your lips don't move. But he kisses you regardless. You want to push him away and hit him, to scream that he's taking advantage of you but you can't do any of that. Because your hands wrap around his neck and you kiss him back. Hard and passionate.

His torso melts between your body and you kiss like there's no tomorrow. Your hands caress his curls and his hands roam down your back and waist, caressing you. His tongue takes over your mouth and leads you into a wet, sensual, needy kiss. You're so deep inside yourself, you can't think straight. You can't even think at all.

He pulls away a little to let you breathe, your mouths red and wet, he smiles and you want to smack him across the face to wipe it away. But more so, you want to kiss him. You move to his mouth to kiss him and Hector runs his face, preventing you. Your shaky breaths mingle and you hear him laugh. Is he making fun of you? Is this a joke? After having followed you for weeks?

"If you want to, you have to ask me nicely" he whispers brushing your lips.

You deny, rolling your eyes. "I won't beg for you" you spit.

Your hands still hold his face and Hector's hands squeeze your waist, urging you on. But you wouldn't beg for him. You never would.

Relax his lips and you feel hungry. Hungry to be the one to lick them. Damn. What the fuck is wrong with you?

Your whole body is on fire. You feel every muscle in your body tighten with every passing second. The sexual tension between you is so obvious that it embarrasses you.

Feeling attraction for Hector embarrasses you.

"Fuck, Y/n, kiss me" he asks even more moving his face closer to yours but not touching you.

He wants to kiss you but he won't. He wants you to. And neither will you.

"Kiss me" he whispers again, his eyes are pure fire and his husky voice makes your hair stand on end.

You smile a little at how desperate he is, his body sticks closer to yours and you know he won't delay any longer. He can't. Not with you provoking him. Your legs wrap around his waist and you squeeze him, gasping when your bodies brush, you grab him by the collar of his shirt but don't move closer. He watches you. He sees you. He admires you. And that makes you feel good.

"You really want to have me at your feet, don't you?" he questions as his hands roam over your chest.

You gasp as his finger trails down the hollow of your breasts, teasing you. This is a game. So you're going to play. You relax your lips as you move a little and feel his bulge against your body, he grunts and in return squeeze one of your tits. Dirty and dangerous. You moan feeling the wetness between your legs.

Your hands move down his back and you grab his ass, squeezing it tightly to start rubbing against him. You both moan looking straight into each other's eyes. But you still do nothing. His face brushes against yours again, millimeters away, almost all of yours.

The heat is suffocating, the tension is too much. You feel like you're on fire, literally. But you won't be the one to give way. Not against him.

"Will you really make me beg for you?" he says the opposite way you said it.

It sounds desperate, needy. But you are too, you just can take it longer.

"Please..." is heard in the room.

It sounds like a plea. And it's not yours. It's Hector's.

He just begged you. He really did.

A small smile forms on your lips as your hands run up his taut back. He asked for it, he'll have it.

And you kiss him wildly again. His hands never stop molding your tits while your bodies rub together with need. Everything about you screams fire. The two lost in temptation, kissing, touching each other.

Everything in your head was a sign, You kept thinking that being here was a mistake. Kissing Hector was a mistake. But you couldn't stop doing it. You had promised that you wouldn't sleep with him, that you wouldn't even speak to him, but this was the complete opposite.

Maybe the attention he'd been putting on you had made you feel something different these days and maybe this was nothing more than simple attraction. You prayed it just was. Because it definitely you weren't going to look at him again after this. Fucking in a party bathroom? This was going to be fucking news.

You should never have listened to your friends when they said to play along, this was too much. His hands peeled off your pants and he didn't even take enough time to appreciate you, you didn't even care. It was just sex. When you were naked enough for him to enter you, he did so without even moving his clothes. It was obvious that they were both desperate. The tension was too much in your bodies, you needed to release it one way or another.

It wasn't a myth. Hector was huge. His cock barely fit in your center, making you writhe in pleasure as your hands held onto the counter. Your body was leaning against the mirror as Hector penetrated you again and again, erratic and wild. Her moans were loud, you were sure that if someone was outside they could hear you and it was damn embarrassing.

But you couldn't care less, you wanted to feel something that would take you out of your head tonight and Hector was definitely making you feel something. For a moment there were no worries in your head, no exams, no prejudices, there was nothing. Just him fucking you like an animal. Your mouths joined and panting, trying to withstand his blows while pleasure invaded you.

The way he was touching you, his fingers wrapped around your breasts as his onslaught kept pounding your center. He was eager. So were you.

Hector knew exactly how to please a woman, you were witnessing it and even you couldn't believe it. Damn it. Tomorrow there would be so much gossip about you but you didn't care. You wanted him to fuck you so hard, you wanted this tension to end.

You were afraid the washboard would break under you because of how hard he was fucking you, your body slamming against the mirror as his back arched. You tried to hold him tight so he wouldn't hip you, he was wild. His lips kissed your neck, your shoulders, he bit your skin, your lips. Your nails scratched his skin, leaving the marks impacted like a struggle.

The waves of pleasure were beginning to make your vision blurred and you couldn't even think, you were clouded in his presence. Hector was grunting and your moans were sure to be heard on the other side but the music was too loud, you didn't care. If anyone else wanted the bathroom? Fuck them.

You weren't going to leave this moment right now. You couldn't leave Hector. For tonight, you were his. And he was yours. That was all that mattered.

[chillenby]

It's 2 am so um sorry if this doesn't make much sense..

I know a lot of people hate Jimmy and rightfully so. I mean he's a bad person, raped Anya, was too much of a coward to face his own actions so he decided that he should write a tragedy, then fails at it, only to be the reason why everyone died one by one and then finally killing himslef and giving Curly extra 20 years to be saved to once again avoid conciquences and to be the 'hero' he so much wishes he could be. He is selfish, greedy, a bastard and genually an awful human being. I understand that fully.

And yet, he is my favorite character along with Curly (and I don't mean only the pre-crash 'hot' Curly, but also post-crash Curly). You know why? He's so complex and interesting to think about. From psychoanalysis to just trying to figure out how he would interact with characters outside of what we see in the game.. it's all interesting. And it doesn't help that he is the reason for what happens in the game and I cannot explain how much I love the plot (the best way to describe it is that Jimmy is the core of this game, he is connected to everyone and everyone connects ro him, so in my mind, if I want to appreaciate this game fully, I need to extend it to that asshole, because we out him there would be no plot or those hard hitting messages). I love him as a character, I love how fucked up he is, I love that we play as him, I love his dialoge scenes and lastly I love his delusions because I love metaphores and I love that he is one of those characters that makes me think.

I know people shit on him and you know what? Fair. I sometimes do that to characters that've done nothing wrong, but I think they're cunts. But it sometimes just saddens me how people just ignore him or just make stupid jokes like 'sorry you had ro draw Jinglebells'. I know they are jokes, but I don't know, I'm tired of seeing them everywhere and being fed a lot of 'I hate Jimmy' stuff.

I mean there are Jimcurly fans which have amazing art and they sometimes get one thing correctly (in my tastes, this is all a personal opinion and I just want to yell it out into the void called internet) is that it hurts. Jimmy hurts people and hurts Curly, and in a lot of fics and art Curly just lets him. And I like that, as much as usually I like silly and wholesome stuff, for this game specifically I want it to hurt. I hope it hurts. Because that's the theme of the media, it's hard to consume and it hurts, it's dark and fucked up, it talks about our society and the people in it.

...

Also the aus and stuff can be fucking wild. Like there are amazing ones like surviviors au comic where instead of crashing the crew is stuck in a wormhole (I love it so much, genually can't stop thinking about it and rereading it, so beautiful and so good, didn't knew that was exactly what I needed until I read it) and like anti-tulpar (which I'm just receantly getting into and it's odd but in a good way, it's funky). But one the other side we have like lobotomy au and hypno au (the hypno au I read is like on the fence of being uncomfortable and not too bad, since the hypno used makes Jimmy docile and truthful, but on the inside he is still the same person, and like I read a smut and I was left wondering is it rape or not..). I just found out about lobotomy au and as much as I like fucked up shit that to me feels like crossing the line especially since I heard that it's usually used in a sexual manner(I don't have twitter so luckily I managed to escape most of it, but I heard a few things and I have certain opinions I just want to yell out, but if my info about this is wrong feel free to inform me :)). On that I have only one opinion, what is wrong with people? Like I get it, he is a bad person and has done awful things, but to do something to dehumanize him to the point of not being able to have deeper thoughs and not being able to take care of himself, then put him in a sexual manner where he gets practically raped since he can't consent? Why? Do people actually find this attractive or is it some type of letting out your anger? I think it's fucked up

But yea.. if anyone reads this thanks I guess? I just needed to spew out all my thoughts and make them make sense. Form them into proper words and ideas instead of unprocessed junk

So as a closing thought, please apreaciate Jimmy more and make more complex jokes. (Or at least don't like hate on this post too much aand don't post those stupid jokes under this post too much, I'd make my day if none of that would happen)

[infectiouspiss]

teaching kids about trans stuff will only be a good thing and to be more specific it will mean that there's less young trans boys feeling immense guilt for secretly hoping they get breast cancer because its the only way to remove breasts theyve ever been told about

[daily-hanamura]

[cleverpaws]

ive always admired how amazing a satire of corporate genloss is ngl. they were onto something with squiggles and i wish more people talked about it

[things-methinks]

Talking to [leftist/socialist/progressive/whatever] white people as a brown girl is always an experience

[elenadoeslife]

.

[niuxita21]

To your new life in Tijuana. Ana, thank you so much. Don’t ever think you can’t do it. You’re ready for anything. Now I do feel ready, and I’m really looking forward to starting this new stage in my life, being independent... You and Regina are gonna be just fine. Come here. And thank you, for letting me go.

[paragonrobits]

some important calvin and hobbes facts in case you haven't read the original comic strip in a long time or only absorbed stuff on it from memes and out of context bits on here:

Calvin's last name has never been given, and neither has any of his parent's names. This was actually why his uncle Max only showed up for a brief storyline; the creator of the comic, Bill Watterson, ultimately felt that while it was fine to have him as someone for his parents to talk to, it felt far too awkward to never have Max refer to them by name and he never made a return appearance.

The general tone of the comic is fairly light-hearted, with a big emphasis on goofy slapstick comedy contrasted by clever wordplay and often surprising adult-centered jokes that'll hit you like a slap. A big part of the comedy is, as Watterson put it (paraphrased) "It's really funny to me when people express deeply stupid ideas with really fancy terminology." One notable example you might have seen is that one bit where Calvin asks his mom for money to buy a Satan-worshiping rock album and his mom replies that there's nothing genuine about them and they're just putting on the attitude for shock value, and comisserates with Calvin as he deplores that mainstream nihilism can't be trusted. He concludes that childhood is disillusioning.

There is a LOT of criticism of the extreme materialism and selfish mentality of the late 80s, when the comic was initially written. This may go a long way to explain how its aged so well; much of what it criticizes resonates well with people today.

Bill Watterson views comic strips a legitimate form of artwork, and repeatedly fought to have more space to draw more beautiful and artistic backgrounds, which was a very hard fight and unpopular even with other comic strip artists. He eventually did win some compromises and a lot of Calvin And Hobbes' artwork shows it, with the use of space to indicate time as well as a sharp contrast between the often plain environments of mundane life contrasted by the wildly beautiful imagery of Calvin's imagination (which often sports realistic depictions in an art shift of sorts).

Hobbes is explicitly not an imaginary friend, by word of Watterson himself. We don't know WHAT he is exactly, and Hobbes is apparently unaware of the strange nature of his reality; people look at him and only see an ordinary stuffed tiger plushie, but he has a tangible effect on the world that would be physically impossible for Calvin to do on his own. He's apparently been around for a while, and was apparently around when Calvin was a young baby.

On that note; Hobbes has implicitly killed (notably treated as both a gag and also with the vibe of 'he's a tiger, duh') and while he doesn't do it again on-screen, he doesn't have any moral issues about it. Calvin claims that he's never had trouble bringing Hobbes to school because the last time he did, Hobbes killed and ate a bully named Tommy Chestnut and simply comments that it was gross and he needed a bath. Calvin's tried to repeat this again, but Hobbes was grossed out at the thought having to eat a kid raw and not being allowed to use an oven first, or complaining that children are too fattening.

Hobbes became gradually less human-like in body language and more like an actual cat in both body language and behavior; this was due to Watterson drawing more inspiration from his cat, who also inspired a lot of Hobbes' running gags, such as pouncing on Calvin when he got home. Several years into the syndication of the strip, Watterson's cat passed away, and he did a tribute to her with a comic strip of the two of them agreeing to try to dream together so they can keep playing when they have to sleep; Watterson's commentary (if I recall right), remarks on his cat: "We can see each other again in dreams."

[medicinemane]

The problem with a lot of body horror for me is it's just gross without being compelling

Like yeah you had that person tear their leg open and pull muscle away from bone in a way that's very uncomfortable... but I don't care. Or a lot of Hostel style horror for me it's just kinda... yeah... grossing me out isn't some kinda win

Cause it's not that I don't like body horror, I love Dead Space for instance which... kinda the core pillar of that is body horror if we're honest

Could be a matter of that that kind of body horror is more fantastic making it easier to digest, I will advance that as a theory, but personally I kinda think that it's more that they do something actually interesting with it

Like if I wanted to I could probably see a really fucked up leg wound (and worse) in looking online about this shitty world

Can't really find dead bodies contorted into killing machines though

So I kinda feel like it's my problem with a lot of horror, of that it's horrible in a mundane way where as I'm looking for some unfathomable secret out of horror

So there's a difference between some stabbing a person in the eye cause they're just a shitty person, and doing it to try and create a replica of an alien artifact that gives unlimited energy but also drives people crazy and then turns their bodies into horrible monstrosities

One is just way more interesting to me