#because i am VERY lazy as a cook so i do not eat even the vegetables i CAN eat

[trans-cuchulainn]

being super nutrient deficient without being visibly malnourished is so weird

[citrusickness]

A handful of burping scenarios, because I am too lazy to write an actual full story using any of them~~

Solo

* Someone accidentally cooks/orders way too much of something. But, for whatever reason, it can't be saved for later, they have nobody around to help them finish it, and they are very adamantly against wasting food, so they are left with no choice but to eat it all by themself. Their stomach protests against the large amount of food with groans and burps, but they power through the discomfort, making themself a thoroughly stuffed, burpy wreck. Damn their strong moral compass.

* A very anxious and squeamish person engages with some kind of horror media (video game, movie, book, take your pick), and they can hardly get halfway through it before they get spooked, which jostles their stomach. A belch catches them off guard, before more smaller burps force their way up, as the person tries to focus on their horror media of choice, further perpetuating the cycle. Bonus points if they're snacking on something while they do this, so they're just a lil' bit stuffed to boot.

* Someone has an upset stomach that keeps forcing burps out of them. Unfortunately, they have something to do that they can't back out of that takes place in public and lasts for the majority of the day. Not wanting to seem crass, they try to hold down every relentless burp that tries crawling up their throat, failing to do so a few times. Once they finally get home, they're eager to finally ease the ache in their stomach, and a hyperbolically ruinous belch rushes out of them as soon as they close their front door behind them, followed by countless more.

* Someone is put in a situation in which they are unable to eat all day, so naturally, once they are given the opportunity to finally eat, they greatly overestimate how much food an empty stomach actually requires. They manage to eat an absurd amount of their food before their stomach actually processes it, and begins to give them hell for it. They really don't want to waste the rest of their food, though, so they suffer through eating the rest of it, burping throughout as their stomach tries to make room for the increasing amount of food that is being stuffed into it.

* Someone feels themself getting a mildly upset, but still manageable, stomach, and decides to drink a ginger ale before their stomachache can get worse. They drink it rather fast, as well, because they have other things that they have to do afterwards. This person apparently does not understand how carbonation works, because the drink, obviously, bloats them up, ultimately making the ache in their tummy worse, and causing them to frequently burp as their belly tries to relieve itself from both the previous ache and the bubbles.

* This one's a bit spicy — Someone who has a burp kink (don't we all?) stuffs themself, but holds in their burps until they begin humping a pillow to get themself off. The movement causes their stuffed belly to rub against the pillow, which forces a belch out of them, that only adds to their pleasure. Every burp they let out trails off into a moan until they finally come. Unfortunately, their tummy hasn't been entirely emptied of the air, so they go back at it again.

Duo

* B cooks A a notably large meal, and A, being polite to a fault, feels compelled to eat every last bit of it, lest they unintentionally insult B's cooking abilities. Inevitably, A literally bites off more than they can chew, leaving them stuffed and failing to hold back burps. B notices, and feels responsible for nursing them back to health, despite A's protests, burping them until all of the air has been evacuated from their tummy, leaving their meal to digest in peace, before telling A that they don't have to eat so much next time. But also, that they made dessert as well, and it tastes best fresh.

* Somewhat similar to the last one — B has recently taken up cooking, and even though they're not overly good at it, A doesn't want to make them feel bad, so they eat the entirety of the first meal that B cooks all by themself. Not only do they end up stuffed, but something wasn't cooked properly, and valiantly disagrees with A's stomach, making them burp. B thinks that A just ate too much, until they try some of their own cooking, and immediately start caring for A's poor tummy, helping them relieve the pressure by burping them, and feeling immense guilt for making them unwell.

* A and B are sharing a bed/bedroom, when A's stomach starts acting up due to them eating too much before bed, and a rather forceful belch wakes them up. A tries to hold their burps down, not wanting to wake B up as well, causing their stomach to churn and groan. Alas, they eventually wake B up as well. B, hating to see A uncomfortable, and wanting to go back to sleep themself, helps A work up more burps until their tummy finally settles, and the pair can go back to sleep, as embarrassed as A may be.

* A and B have a date planned, but A's stomach begins to give them grief shortly before they're supposed to leave. They really want to see B, though, and don't want to flake out on them, so they go out anyway. Of course, they go somewhere to eat for their date, which only upsets A's stomach further. They try to hide their discomfort from B, but a few burps that they fail to hold back into the meal, B catches on, and takes them somewhere private (or not, if you're into that) to help them work the rest of the burps up, while chastising A for not telling them that they were feeling unwell in the first place.

* This one is very spicy, too, so be warned — A has been stuffed and is burping quite frequently. But, B previously expressed interest in A going down on them, and while B insists that A isn’t obligated to do so, especially while they're not feeling well, A still wants to make B feel good, so they proceed. During the act, A's overfull stomach being pressed and repeatedly rubbing into the surface beneath them forces a belch out of them, which catches both parties off guard. A pulls away in embarrassment, before B urges them to continue, not caring about the burp in the slightest because they were so close. A gets back to work, and more burps rumble against B's area, the vibrations bringing them closer to their climax.

Feel free to use these for inspiration if you want; credit would be greatly appreciated~~

[jadeiteee]

Comfort! mv33 dr3 18+

I have three test tmr but here is some smut

Warnings : threesome, blowjob, p in v, plot what plot? Basically just porn

this was not beta read bcs am too lazy (just wrote this bcs aussie had a little sting)

It is the Australian Grand Prix, you decided to travel there to support your boyfriends, Max and Daniel. It is a homerace for Danny so the three of you are very excited!

It wasn’t the best result, Max retired at lap 3 because of an engine problem and Danny finished at p13, not the expected result, but you are now focused to comfort both of them.

You guys arrived at the hotel, the atmosphere felt low with your boys slumped into the sofa, their shoulders sagged, both looking disappointed at themselves.

You went to the kitchen to cook up something quick, allowing them to process the events. You make a quick fried rice and put it on a plate, checking on your boys on the sofa.

“I made dinner, do you guys want to eat here or at the dining table?” you smiled softly at them, awaiting their response.

Danny answered with a small hum and Max just nodded, still feeling down over the results, they both stood up and walked to the dining table while you grabbed some water for them.

The dinner was silent for a while as they picked at their food, lost in their own thoughts. You could feel the heaviness in the air, the weight of disappointment palpable in the room.

Sensing the need to break the tension, you cleared your throat softly, drawing their attention away from their gloomy thoughts.

“Am proud of you guys, you did your best today” you offered a gentle smile, comforting your boyfriends, they nod and smiled a little bit but you know they are still affected.

“Finish your dinner and shower, meet me in the room” you smiled softly, trying your best to cheer them up.

You dressed up in their favorite lingerie and played the playlist and turn on the diffuser, trying to set the mood, waiting for them to come after they finished showering. 

They came inside the room, seemingly flustered with your appearance, their eyes wandering off to every corner of your body as you smirked.

“What is this for..?” Danny crooned, his face flushed with a shade of pink. Max seemed to be at loss for words, raking his eyes over you, not even trying to be subtle about it.

“Let me take care of you” you smiled a gentle warmth radiating from your eyes, but there is lust hidden beneath it. You pushed Danny to bed, opening his belt and underwear painfully slow to tease him as he whimpered, bucking his hips upwards, making you chuckle.

“So impatient” you tsked as you pumped his shaft a few times and hollowed your mouth, taking him in, you took a few minutes to adjust to his size and instructing him to stay still as you bobbed your head on his, tasting the salty precum on the back of your mouth. 

You stare at Max who was sitting on the couch beside your bed, slowly stroking his cock while watching you give Danny some head. Your jaw and knees are hurting so bad right now, but it was all shadowed by the pleasures.

You gagged when Danny thrust upwards, you gave him a disapproving look while he whimpered. “Fuck need more..” he grunted, grabbing your hair amd face fucking you, you bobbed on his shaft a few more times when he held your head, making you gagged and came deep in your throat with a loud moan.

You swallowed all of them “they are so bitter” you gagged as he chuckled a little,trying to catch his breath. You then look at Max who was stroking himself as he walked and sat in the bed, waiting for you to do some action

You then stroke his cock and take it all in your mouth, they have different sizes which make you have a hard time accommodating them. (Danny’s is  longer but Max is thicker and Max’s is a little bit slanted to the right.) 

You gagged when Max started to face fucking you, his pace not letting you breathe, he purposely make you gagged and stay in the back of your throat, cutting off your air, making you tear up, your moans filling the room.

He bobbed your head a few more times before pulling out and coming in your face. “So pretty, just for us, yeah?” He said with a smirk, youwere too fucked up to even process the things going around you.

“Think we fucked our princess dumb” Danny chuckles at your current stage before pulling you up on his lap and sinking inside you, making you both moan as you lay on Danny’s chest.

“Think you can take the both of us, schatje?” Maxie smiled softly at you as you nodded, he then scavenged through the drawer beside your bed and poured some lube to his fingers, preparing you to take them both.

You squirmed as you felt his cold fingers entering you, clashing with Danny’s cock. “Maxie..” you whimpered, feeling overwhelmed by everything that was happening. 

“Shh, you are doing so well darling” Danny tilted your chin up to stare at his eyes, trying to distract you from the pain.

After Max prepared you enough, he then inserted his shaft into you, the feeling overwhelming you as you tried to adjust to the stretch, their cock clashing inside you.

The only sounds coming out from your mouth was their name, you weren’t able to form coherent sentence at this point, too fucked out by the overwhelming pleasure. The room was filled with your moans and the sounds of your skin clapping.

You screamed when Max reached out for your clit, rubbing it in circles, you could feel that your climax was building up.

“ am coming…!” You moan as your high came, triggering them to come too, the three of you lay there panting, trying to catch your breath after that intense session.

They went to grab some water, wet towels and set the diffuser for you as you lay down on the bed, too tired to even move as they help clean you up, you then cuddled in bed

“Goodnight” you mumbles softly, too tired to say anything else.

“Goodnight schatje” he said as he gave you a kiss on top of your head

“Goodnight darling, I love you” Danny mumbled quietly, drifting off to sleep

[persage]

CARETAKER- S. HARRINGTON

Steve Harrington x Sick! Reader

Summary : When Steve hears that you're sick and you've gone to work anyway, he comes to pick you up, take you home and put his nursing skills to the test. He loves taking care of you, but sometimes you make it difficult

Words Count: 2.3k

Tags: Steve Harrington x Sick! Reader, just Fluff and Steve being the best nurse in the world and an overprotective boyfriend

Thanks again to @loving-and-dreaming for the amazing ideas!

For all the years Steve Harrington has known you - which are way too many to be honest- you've always been careless with your health. There's always something more important: homeworks and school projects first, monsters and fights then. Anyway being selfless is what you and Steve have in common, he understands you and he knows how to keep an eye on you without you noticing, cause you get mad everytime someone, and more specifically him, tries to take care of you.

"I don't need a babysitter Harrington, I am the babysitter."

So Steve has learned to understand the way your body react to pain and stress, when you close your eyes as you get up he knows your knee is giving you trouble and when you ask him to open something for you is because the arm you broke years ago in the Byers house, against the stupid demodog, still hurts when the weather changes. But you know Steve too and you care about him of course, he has been you neighbor since you have arrived in Hawkins, when you were just a child, he was just the spoiled kid from the biggest house in the city and now  he's your boyfriend and partner in crime. You bring him food when he says he's home alone cause you think he will let himself starve, not that he can't cook - to be fair he is really good at it- but he can be lazy sometimes and prefers stays on the chouch slowly dying. You always make sure he brings his jacket with him, cause his stupid brain won't understand the temperature outside can be very different from the one inside the house and he will get sick. Also you take him to the doctor, even against his will, everytime he gets hit on his head and stay with him the night to keep him awake when he has concussions. You're pretty good at this, making sure he always comes first. He is your priority and it infuriates him of course, 'cause Steve Harrington doesn't think he deserves any of this and you don't let him do the same for you. Which is why - against his own nature- he had became more observant in the first place.

But this time he misses it.

It's Max that tells him as she enters the Family Video holding hands with Lucas, cause they need a movie for their date night. "So uh, have you seen y/n this morning at all?" Something in the girl's voice makes him turn sharply and almost knocks over the pile of boxes he was tidying up. Almost, because Robin comes to avert disaster.

Truth is you've been working really hard lately, being a babysitter and also taking shifts at Enzo's during lunches and dinners you don't have time to really rest. Steve has been doing the same thing, working as much as he can so you can afford living together so no, he hasn't seen you this morning, he just left something to eat for breakfast outside your door before going to work.

"What's wrong with her? " He asks.

"Nothing's wrong!  She was just asking!" A not so calm Lucas replies. Max glares at him. "Lucas, just tell me what my stupid, stupid girlfriend has done this time."

"She hasn't done anything at all. It's that we saw her babysitting Holly Wheeler this morning and we noticed  she was coughing...a bit."  Max explains. Steve raises an eyebrow at that

"Okay, fine, a lot." Lucas confesses, this time Max nudges him. Steve shakes his head. "Stupid, stubborn foolish girl!" He mutters. Robin places a hand on his shoulder.

"You're overreacting dingus" But as if he hadn't even heard her, Steve continues. "Cover me Rob. I have to reach y/n and take her home, then I'll come back. I swear" He doesn't even wait for her answer. Steve runs away.

He finds you at Enzo ready for the lunch shift, trying to carry a big table on your own, face red from fatigue. He stops before he can call your nome and just observes you torturing yourself and gets to see you drop the table on the ground andlean on it, coughing violently. "Are going to kill yourself?" When you hears Steve's voice you turn around and the minute you see his face, you know you are in deep trouble. Sometimes he tend to get a little overprotective, treating you like one of his children.

"Hey! What are you doing here?" You aks, trying to see something different in his face than the judgmental expression of a mother ready to lecture you. He doesn't answer, simply approaches you and puts his hand on your forehead. You try to stifle another cough and shake him off, but end up leaning on your knees with your body shaking violently. Steve holds you, caressing your back gently. "Home! Now!" He orders, his tone sweet but still doesn't allow replies

"But I have to finish-"

"No you don't, I'll talk to Enzo. Now get in the car and turn on the heating." He takes you home quickly and even if you don't need it he carries you from the car to your own room, after making sure that no one is at home. "Where are your parents?"

"Dad has the long shift, he'll be back tonight. Mom's out of town" And so Steve calls Robin, to warn her that he won't be able to work the afternoon shift.

You feel your exhausted body sinking into the mattress, lighter than air, as your vision grows spotted. You feel sicker than ever, your head weighs as if you have stones inside and burns like hell but you feel cold, at the same time: fingers, legs, arms, torso, it's all frozen. You groan, rolling on your side and closing your eyes as you hear Steve's steps.

"Baby. I'm gonna die today. Remember I love you and my collection of VHS is yours" Steve smiles, sitting near you and putting a hand on your forehead.

"Oh love, how sweet of you" He replies,  "Why were you still working?" He asks with a slight tone of reproach. One of his hands slides up your neck and then your back, the other one brushes your hair away from your forehead, then lightly caresses one of your cheeks. He starts rubbing circles over your back and it feels like paradise. "We need money, you know my amazing boyfriend and I... we want to find a place of our own and he.. He is working so much, he is doing his best  for our future together. I want to do it too, if I could I'd even get three jobs. For him. For us. " You answer, smiling. Thank goodness you have your eyes closed and you're probably delirious with fever, otherwise you'd notice Steve's eyes watering and the little tear that escapes his control. Sometimes the way you love him  unconditionally, moves him. For someone who's not used to be anyone's priority, your love is overwhelming  and he doesn't know what he's done to deserve it. Steve's touches reminds you of your childhood, the way your dad used to take care of you, telling stories about monsters and children fighting the evil, but now these aren't just stories and kids aren't just kids and you don't like hearing stuff like that anymore. And your father doesn't take care of you like before, he doesn't do it out of malice, it's just his new job that takes him away from you for a long time and you know he is suffering too. You don't blame him, but you miss him. Luckily Steve is with you to ease the loneliness.

"Hang in there, love" Your boyfriend murmures softly in your ear, placing a kiss on your cheeks, continuing to rub your back tenderly. Hide behind his words you can feel his concern, he's overprotective as always. "You are burning up, I need you to take this baby" He passes you a pill and you shake your head The movement makes you nauseous and you don't want anything, you feel so tired and sore that you are afraid a single change around you could kill you. 

"Let me here to die" you grumble dramatically.

"Then who will take care of me when I'm sick?" Steve jokes, smiling at you sweetly. The sentence makes you think, you open your eyes and look at him worried.

"What's up?"

"You have to stay away from me" You say, your teeth chattering in the cold as he adjusts the blanket around you better. "I'm not kidding, you could get sick too"

"Dont worry about me love, You just need to rest. " He tells you and in your feverish delirioum you hold his hands and you let go, falling into a deep sleep.

When you wake up an hour and a half later, Steve is in the same position, holding a hand on your forehead and watching over you like your guardian angel. You would like to tell him he shouldn't be here with you, but the truth is the feeling of being cared for is foreign enough to make you crave it in a way you didn't know you could. You cough again your poor lungs out, trying to cover your mouth so as not to contaminate Steve, then sneeze repeatedly. He shakes his head, handing you a glass of water and supporting your back so you can drink comfortably. "And you thought you could work like this? You should be more attentive to your health." "Ohhh Still with this story? Don't be exaggerated, I'm not that bad. Also I was fine before you came at Enzo's" You reply stubbornly, raising an arm to push him away with a huff.

"You were already burning up and you wouldn't even think to come to me. I'm not a good boyfriend? You don't trust me as a nurse? I'm an excellent nurse, that's my job" He has a harsh tone, he wants you to understand that you really have to take care of yourself, today is a fever, tomorrow something else. Steve would like you to be your priority not only his. "Why do you have to be so dramatic! It's just a cold."  Your voice has a strange tone, it's hoarse from the cough, vaguely funny. Steve smiles. He can't be mad at you especially as you disappear into the blanket, curled up on yourself, like a child in need of care. And no matter how much you deny it, you need him and he wants to be there. "Come on Steve seriously maybe there's a chance I didn't pass you my lousy germs. Save yourself. Go away. Think about you my love"

"No way, I need to keep an eye on you."

"Steven Harold Harrington, You're acting like I'm five."

"Don't use my full name on me y/n, also You've been acting like you're five all day." Then after a minute of silence. "How long has this been going on?" He asks more seriously, as you peek out from under the covers to make eye contact with him. You are not even interested in the fact that you are not as beautiful as you would like, that you have dirty hair, swollen red shiny eyes and a pale skin, his steady gaze on you is so full of adoration and devotion that you do not believe it is humanly possible for some eyes express so much love without saying a single word, without moving a muscle, in just one simple glance.

"It was just a sore throat yesterday. I only started coughing this morning and then I was cold, shivering a lot, but I didn't... I didn't want to take my temperature. If you don't know, you don't have to stay home from work" Steve shakes his head and remembers the last few days, he should have been more careful because it's clear you're lying now and it's clear that when you said you were tired in the past few days, you weren't just tired.

"Don't lie to me, I'm not stupid. I mean yes I am, but not that much. You must've been feeling bad for at least a few days." You avoid his look "I hate it when you do this" He whispers lying next to you.

"I haven't done anything. You're just overreacting because you love me too much"

"Please y/nyou are the one who underestimates everything. And yes, I love you too much and I would like to grow old with you, but if you continue to behave like an unconscious foolish child you will make me die of a heart attack at thirty and you will break my dreams"

You laugh. "You're a Drama Queen"

"No you don't understand, today is just the fever and yesterday were demogorgons and tomorrow who knows? You always do it, not taking care of yourself, it scares me"

You hold his hand and after a moment of silence, with all the sincerity, you reply.

"I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry" You are interrupted by a cough. "I've never seen it this way. I've never thought about the impact my actions can have on you. I'm so selfish. "

"No, you are the opposite of selfish. But you are right about one thing I love you too much. And now I'm going to get you some iboprufen to take down the fever." He gets out of bed and places a kiss on your forehead. "I need my girlfriend to be okay"

"I hate meds" You whine and moan.

"You are just a little girl"

"Thanks, my hero." But before he can leave the room you call him. "Steve" He turns around, smiles and you think that you don't want anything more than this for your whole life. Steve Harrington and you, your house, you dreams. The everyday life that becomes extraordinary next to the right person. "I'm sorry I said you were overreacting." You state.

"I love you too, y/n."

[soraviie]

them as boyfriends.txt

━ type: bts x gn! reader  ━  masterlist

━ about: fluff  ━  pictures taken from Pinterest

━ previously posted on soraviii

NAMJOON:

Conversations! I am extremely chill about it but still insistent

Conversations about stuff!

Doesn't even have to be like here's the top 10 reasons why Auguste Comte was a cunt but like overall

Why do you enjoy doing some things and why are these things his hobbies you know

Why he knows that some of his habits are bad but he can't seem to stop them and so on

I always think that Namjoon is very concerned about doing the Right Thing, you know, being an objectively good person within a subjectively impossible world he probably worries a lot about "oh, was this thing I said perhaps going to rub you off the long way", "is what I'm doing with my influence enough, is it right?" "oh, you said it was okay but could it be that when I did this you wish I didn't and so on"

Wants to do right by the people he loves so open, frequent communication he views as an opportunity to improve and be assured that he's not an ignorant tool

A multifaceted individual so you get to see all sides - cute and cuddly, shy and embarrassed, the hoe side

Does absolutely wake you up in the mornings like "get up, sucker, we're going somewhere, get up"

Often says he's bringing you to a little something and it could be anywhere between a specific tree in a park and a booked-out art gallery during the night

Tries to echolocate you if he's out and forgot to take his glasses

He's insecure that he can't cook so he probably cleans a lot

Probably has read an article about weaponized incompetency and therefore tries to split chores evenly and keep them regularly done

He's actually torn up he can't do most things he would want like - wait for you after work or walk along the river freely

So he puts the extra effort in all he gets - lazy mornings, eating brunch abroad etc.

I can for some reason imagine him slow driving a bike at night and you're walking beside

Why is he not giving you a lift? He's scared he'll crash and you'll be hurt

If you can drive and own a car he will indicate that he wants to be driven not by asking but by sitting in the seat and putting a seat belt on in front of your eyes

When on tour or working late nights sends you short videos of the animals he finds along the way (think of that Instagram video of him harassing a crab on the way home from work)

Deep morning voice! Lord!

Absolutely the one on the list to have sex to relieve pent-up anger

Sleeps shirtless

Just get like ear plugs or straight-up knock yourself out because I just know he snores like a whole ass truck

If he's in love, really, I mean truly in love you're straight up becoming immortalized in the songs

Like he assigns a symbol that he associated to you whether a specific flower or a word or a concept but it's a little thing that keeps mentioned throughout

If it's a private track will ask you to moan for it to be used in a track

On like one day in a year when you convince him to be lazy, for sure, sits and watches TV with like a passive-aggressive frown and munches on chips really loudly

It's not even a bad show it's just how his face looks then

When meeting your friends, has an awkward "smile and wave, boy, smile and wave" stance

Definitely plays up his hotness once in a while - sleazy smiles, and those bedroom eyes, there are two wolves within him, a romantic and a player

If you're walking through an art gallery, for sure talks about every single thing he sees

The way you're on his Instagram is by sharing the photos you take, through them he can see the man you fell in love with and he becomes giddy over it

YOONGI:

So hear me out but when Yoongi is crushing he's like a boyfriend, when he's in a relationship he's like a married man with two kids and a mortgage

It's not that the spark is missing (guy can get you hot and bothered in a matter of seconds, you know what I'm saying) but it's literal comfort

Everything about him is comfort

He's like what men think men should be but so much better

E.g. fixes stuff - lamps, chairs, bulbs

Has plans on doing renovation

He never does it but he insists that when he gets the free time-!

"Next weekend."

"Yoon, you said it last weekend."

"Yeah, and eventually I'll do it. Consistency is key."

If he's home and you're there cooks meals 100%

For some reason, I always think he's really into cooking breakfast

It's more likely for him to cook breakfast than dinner because he would oftentimes order it in

Soft lighting in the apartment, no overhead lights

His type of touching is subtle

When you're watching say a movie, he doesn't lean into you wholly but like sits and keeps a hand slumped on your knee

Listen to this - fleeting hand holding

If you're keeping your hand on the table and he's near, he'll stroke your hand for 3 seconds take it away and repeat

Touches your pinky with his - it's like saying "hey"

Now hear me out, gossip

Jimin is for sure the no.1 gossiper but Yoongi is not too far behind himself

You're getting the freshest hottest brew about every single idol and producer he finds repulsive

Not too big of an outdoors guy but he'll do literally anything for you so if you want to go on like a few-day retreat, you sit him down and ask him:

"Is this something you want?"

"Yes -ㅅ-"

"Be honest! Are you really okay with going away this weekend and doing absolutely no work?"

"You'll be happy -ㅅ- yes -ㅅ-"

Hates it but you're happy so he's happy

I think he gets a little bit insecure about his partner not being to be able to do a lot of things so he spoils them a lot - trips and rest days and such

Is a hypocrite though

If you drink a lot of coffee nags the shit out of you only to drink seven cups himself

And here's the hill I'm going to die on - really strict when it comes to eating sweets before proper meals

He might be chill when you say you're not hungry, it sometimes happens you know, but will not! have it! for you to eat candy before dinner!

"What are you - my mom?" you sneer as he shOVES a pack of gummy worms into a deep, dark corner of a pantry where it most likely will never see the light of the sun ever again

"I'll call her," he warns, stirring whatever he was cooking that evening. "Don't test me."

Fights with him are rare and very diplomatic

He treasures you a lot so he takes a logical stance and flat out states "we both could say something hurtful, let's take a breather"

If you're in a foul mood and anNOYED at everything and itching for a fight, he'll cock an eyebrow and just say: "Is that really something you want to be spoken out there?"

Sometimes gets you cute plushies

You once walked in on him reading omegaverse fanfic and no, there is no backstory, nor an explanation given

Holds an incredibly harsh critique of snacks

Tastes a chip, hates it, discARDS the packet with a "d i s g u s t i n g"

You will absolutely hear a fuck ton of "back in my day" and "these are not Korean nuts, these are x nuts, they're no good"

Somehow I think he shits himself more before meeting your friends than parents???

Because he knows how to get along with older people but your friends who are convinced he's going to cheat on you, he's nothing but another over-inflated popstar stroking his ego? not a clue, he's a lost boy

He's so humble and helpful that, of course, he wins them over

Probably has driven your friends somewhere where they need to be, like a reception, probably offered his car for moving purposes (does anyone else help their friends move in and out of places?)

When on long car rides absolutely tries to gaslight you by saying the most impossible shit like:

"Of course, there is."

"There are no rivers in the Gobi desert!"

"But there are! Ancient people, how do you think they managed to travel all that distance? It's because they got to the river and that replenished them halfway."

Actually just wants to talk to you and this is an easy way to do so

dRUNK Yoongi just think about it and enjoy, he's so giggly and smiley and probably calls out for you with annoying frequency

Your nickname is an inside joke, many don't think it's cute at all but you know better and that's what's important

JIN:

Gets irrationally shy even after dating you after a while, say, you're changing and he walks in, for some reason puts a hand in front of his eyes??

Definitely covers his body if you're checking him out

"Can we please have some respect? Some decorum?" he whines, neck flushing at an alarming speed

Annoys you a lot, he's the annoying boyfriend

Tells the most ridiculous things, like:

"______________, I was in the bathroom and I did this," flicks hair. "And wow, I'm just so handsome. You must be a very strong person indeed to be able to bear it every day."

His confidence is a Schrodinger's cat - half true, half - farce

Somedays he wakes up and doesn't feel it at all and hides away from you saying he's ugly right now

Please assure him a lot during that time

If you work too much he's the best remedy for that

Jin is wise and helps you see how your time is the most important thing, that you don't have to prove your existence to anyone and can occupy space without proving your worth over and over again

Conversations with him don't often delve into deep waters but at the same time you don't feel unheard because he listens very attentively even if he doesn't share these anxieties and concerns

Does, unfortunately, give you secondhand embarrassment quite often

Has and will wear ridiculous outfits that have people turning their heads around

You're trailing with him, hand in hand, head low and Jin's ears too are flaming like gasoline on fire but who is he to prohibit himself from indulging things

Most likely to want morning sex, I will not elaborate

He has a special soft smile for when he feels properly cared for and babied

Appreciates being given flowers, hair tugged behind the ear

He doesn't give a fuck what's a norm, it makes him feel nice, fuck you, he'll continue doing it

If you find fishing boring, sorry you'll have to put up with it

"I guess this will be our thorn, honey, you'll just have to endure this for love"

He takes no shit, not even from you but in return never, ever prohibits you from enjoying things

For example, diving into ice-cold water in a lake is not his idea of a fun time but if you enjoy it, he'll be by the side shivering with a towel and a thermos

Definitely, 100% rehearses meeting your parents and quizzes you on his

It is no surprise at all when you meet that both of you know just the right words, the right gestures

Jin loves his family and to be put in a conflict between you and them is a walking nightmare

So he does his best to avoid that

You often eat at very random places scattered throughout the town and sometimes out of it

One day it's a luxury five-star restaurant in a penthouse, the next you're sitting on a wobbly chair at a marketplace, eating a small vegetable or meat skewer from a plastic cup

But Jin always knows how to bring a good time, so both times are just perfect

HOSEOK:

Okay so if this makes sense but Hoseok is the type of boyfriend who wants you to improve

So he wouldn't be super clingy or overly protective or madly jealous but he shows his care by reminding you to do self-care

Like skincare routine, morning and night he's there to ask you if you did it

Or whether you ate well, why not, why are you neglecting care in your life

I don't see him as overly romantic like big-ass gestures but really consistent care from the start

Now hear me out and don't tussle, he partially views you as a responsibility and a project

and befORE YOU GET PITCHFORKS LEMME TELL YOU SOMETHING

He works hard, correct?

He's a strict teacher and absolutely works himself 100% for maximum improvement

And it's not like he's hovering over you like a helicopter parent, moulding you into a version of his liking I just think he wants you to be the person you really like

So obviously it depends on what your goals are but he's really quietly motivating you to do better for yourself

It may not sound most romantic but at its core he wants you to be happy and I think he realises that it doesn't always just means being loved by a close person

So he wants you to improve, feel better about yourself and feel better about the world in such a way

Because the world is a very dark place, it can't handle even more negativity

Kinky, 0 explanation iykyk

A hype man for sure

If you're ever feeling like you can't do something he'll convince you that at the very least there's not so much loss involved as you think

Handmade jewellery especially if he's been away for a long time

I imagine him sitting at a studio, taking like a 15-minute break and he's tinkering with beads, arranging them and stringing them into a bracelet tailored to your interests

Buys you clothes more than anything else say like a car or a house

He splurges reasonably

Though them triangle bags he had back in the day cost like 300 that's my whole rent homie

It's hard to read what he'd be like as a boyfriend but out of all most likely to feel like a friend with added stuff

Which isn't bad at all

I think he struggles between the view of love in the traditional sense he's been taught and interpreting it his own, more peculiar way

Buys subtly matching clothes

Has a private Instagram and definitely hypes you up there

If he's upset but not overtly mad, he'll lie in the bed and Complain using full VFX of Hobi sound effects

Somehow managed to friendzone you once

As an act of revenge, you did that as well and now has learnt his lesson

100% has inner demons but out of all is the most likely to not share it, above Yoongi, above all

He doesn't struggle with communication per se but struggles with understanding that he himself can have faults and he doesn't have to do everything alone

He holds people he loves in high standard hence why he's so insistent on self-care; on being the best you can be within your own eyes, so it makes complete sense that he holds himself up to the highest standard, cutting himself the least amount of slack

Makes you feel like you're the most hilarious person in the world but doesn't talk much at home

If you feel awkward at an event and pressured will leave immediately, I just have a sense about this

JIMIN:

Has a knack for jealousy but the type to end with you being railed the entire night with his jaw clenched

I know we all like his cute side but he can be scary

He can be standoffish and sharp he just mostly chooses to not be

He chooses the high ground though that doesn't always mean he wants to take one

So if you have an ex he particularly loathes he will be near poisonous to that person

But lets it go because it's not about them, it's about you and you deserve his undivided attention

He needs assurance a lot because I think he's convinced himself you'll leave because honestly, it's a hard lifestyle to tolerate in a partner

Touchy but listen to this his favourite is not hugging you but leaning into you

Because it can be so variable

Like cutely leaning onto you whining at you at a full volume or pressing his nose in your cheek with a smirk

I have a feeling he'd enjoy it if you have some temper

He hates fights, absolutely abhors them, and probably has fights because he didn't voice something in the first place because he didn't want to fight

But if you're mad at someone else? If you're angry and getting heated and being bossy?

He just ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

But he often has ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) he's in tune with his sensual side

Speaking of sensual, reads the most toe-curling, filthy romance books in his free time

I'm talking like casually sipping coffee and calmly listing through like a BDSM orgy

He's the type to try everything once, within reasons

Often when talking has a soft, whiny voice and holds a part of your body rubbing circles there

I can't imagine his flirty nature not getting him in trouble at some point

But he makes his commitment known in very intense ways

Like gripping your jaw, making eye contact and saying something along that he can't even sleep without you, you're in his bloodstream

Kind of corny but manages to make it sexy because it's Park Jimin

He wants to know everything about you - what you're thinking, why you're thinking it, what made you to be who you are now and who you want to be tomorrow

Desires to make eye contact

Steals more of your clothes than you do his

Drunk, kind of out of it dancing to slow, sexy songs is a MUST for him

In a way there are two parts to being loved by him which are very representative of his sides - one is cute and cuddly, wanting you to be happy, like an idealized version of kids being in love and the other one is hungry

He wants you in and out, if you're not his in the understanding that he knows you best, that he can please you physically and please you mentally by giving you comfort, he's not happy

Sentimental, probably secretly keeps tokens of yours from the beginning of the relationship

Has a copy of all your childhood pics, argue with a wall

The one true no. 1 gossiper, he knows everything about everyone like your workplace for example

He knows why exactly that co-worker of yours left for a two-week vacation and the reason is salacious as all hell while you could be sitting there - "I have a coworker by that name?"

If you're out and he sees someone being rude, will viOLATE them

His sense of humour could make a person suicidal fr

But unlike some, he uses his inside voice

Has things that annoy him in your relationship but I don't think he says it unless it's really bad

He lets small grudges pass hoping to preserve the balance

Because only the mere thought of you leaving terrifies him

Once Jimin ties himself to someone, genuinely, he doesn't want to let them go for nothing

If you're away for a long time, let's say going abroad or really busy with work, his emotions get the best of him and he gets quite upset

But he hides it and frankly somewhat succeeds

But you can also tell when you return home that he was missing you like crazy

He needs to be pampered then, reassured that everything's fine

Does everything you want even if it's not what he would usually do

If you feel like driving for a while to stare at the moon, he absolutely would

Seduces you over and over again

Partially I think the reason he changes up his behaviour so much is to make sure he's keeping you on your toes and you wouldn't leave

It's lowkey a phobia of his

It's so obvious he's dating you

You can just see the Love

Also if he would just stop glARING at strangers for bREATHING your direction, that would be great

Reminds you to do a lot of things but also needs those reminders as well

Often so tired he forgets to do basic things so you have to wrangle him to take a shower or brush his teeth before bed because he really works himself very hard :(

If you're on your phone when it's time to sleep will yANK it away like a mOTHER

Love to him means sticking together - always

TAEHYUNG:

bops

Oh, you're expecting an explanation?

You're not getting any :)

Very soft

Also very weird

Being his partner means being his interpreter at times

You two have probably developed a language of your consisting chiefly of sounds

Sends you a shit ton of selfies

Mostly stupid and often blurry

He's a blurry sort of guy

Has sent a selfie taken from underneath his nostril

You could be sitting at work and he sends you a wet, shirtless selfie

Cause he's a menace

Big enthusiast of having soft lights as well

It makes the atmosphere feel more intimate

Everything is about intimacy when he's with you

Emotional, spiritual, physical

Where Jimin is in love with love, Taehyung loves romance

So big, classic, romantic gestures are a part of the Kim course

Date nights are unavoidable even let's say you're in two different countries he'll find a way

Sometimes by spontaneously flying out, sometimes by arranging the most ridiculous zoom call known to man

Like the camera placed where you would sit across the table with a restaurant dinner in front

Buys you lingerie, jewellery and fancy clothes

Teases you about loving him

"Ah, ______________ your passion for me makes a guy shy."

Cue to you sitting like -_-

Cause by now you're tiRED

I imagine he does get on your nerves a lot but by weaponizing all of that infamous charm at this point you're convinced he could get away with breaching the Geneva conventions

Always looks at you like he's done absolutely NO WRONG

Even if it happened like 3 seconds ago

Gatekeeps you in a way

He wants you all to himself and he's afraid if you don't like his friends, you might end up not liking him as well

Really values your opinion of him

Has gone to a fortune teller to ask how your future would look like

When you're going through a tough time, he "lends" you his angel

Misses you like crazy when you're apart

And sometimes even when you're here

If he's miraculously drunk, you're not getting him off you

Fucking Clingatron 3000 over here practically treats you as a plushie when you go to sleep

If you're the more reserved type, he's simply over the moon trying to make you flustered

And if you're really cuddly, he invites it eagerly and joyously

Jump atop of him and he'll laugh head thrown back onto the bed

Absolutely the type to find you being angry quite cute, with the exception that you're not so mad you're breaking up with him

This is of course really annoying because what if you want to establish dOMINANCE

Well good luck with that

He'll just smooch you to pacifism

Is lowkey always horny

Has kinks but I do not have the strength to think about them

Every week attempts to cook a fancy meal which ends up being an inedible concoction tasting like an armpit sweat

Promises to not do it again but lo and behold next week!

Watches a lot of movies with you

Watches you if you're out

Really zones out when you're ordering or simply waiting for something

If you're both at home plays soft music in the background so he could pull you into dance at any time

Fresh flowers whenever the old ones wilt down :(

Brings you to a lot of hipster cafes late in the evening

Quite often says the most inappropriate shit at absolutely the wrong place and time

For example, you're about to throw the bins out and he casually lets it slide -

"What if we tried for a baby right now?"

Smiles at his phone when texting you

Recalling back to the finding you cute when angry, definitely smiles and chuckles to himself if you're being huffy and complaining about work or what some dumbass did today

Begs you to share food

The type to bump into you playfully when walking

If he's going to bed, you're going to bed (can't sleep without his plushie)

Increasingly ridiculous nicknames - honey, babe, dearest, flower, sweet bean, rice cake, jujubii (warps it to sound more cuter version of jujube)

Eats up every capitalized love celebration ever invented - white day, rose day, his own made - "our first kiss day"

Really sentimental in that way

I think he wants love to feel more like a movie than it necessarily is so tries his hardest to make that dream a reality

JUNGKOOK:

It is often and with an honestly worrying frequency that you think there is nothing but mii music behind those eyes

Zones out a lot

Stops mid-sentences

Sometimes forgets to listen when you're ranting

It's because he feels safe with you

He feels that he doesn't have to make perfect sense so his mind wanders a lot because he's very relaxed when with you

The type of guy who holds your legs crossed in his lap, one hand caressing your calf when watching a movie

Speaking of movies, yes, you probably have a whole list of tv shows to watch together

(which he absolutely cheats by squeezing in extra screen time)

But you know what he absolutely does

Plays the most horrible otome games known to man

I'm talking about the horse dating simulator, every and all butler romances in the app store

At first, it's just to make fun of it

But then naturally gets really competitive and complains quite hard if the butler he's supposed to be romancing doesn't like him

"Why are men so hard to please?" he growls, fingers gripping the phone so hard the knuckles are white. "I spent 45 diamonds on this dress and "okay" is all YOU CAN SAY?!"

Though you started the game together, he's the one to finish them because it's just slightly hard to develop a romantic interest in an anime pigeon for you but not for Jungkook

Does as he's told when it comes to chores - washing dishes, cleaning, laundry, does it all eagerly

If you're messy, nags you but doesn't go as hard as, for example, Hoseok

Before you stop by his apartment, 100% tried to make it more "palatable" for you

Meaning, shOVES those 7 mattresses of his lying around into a closet or something

Whilst he's pouring a glass of wine you hear a crash come from somewhere

"What's that??" you ask and he sweats, absolutely shits himself

"Nothing," he replies, voice squeaky

"Didn't sound like nothing..."

"...dON't even worry about it."

If he has to take out the bins and your high-heeled shoes are the only thing available, he'll be strutting down to the garbage like a Victoria's Secret model

Has switched those LED lights to red to try and dance sexily in front of you only to bump his crotch into the corner of a closet

You're 90% of his impulse control so if you're gone, expect to see him with one eyebrow upon returning

Has cried at least once about thinking how much he loves you

Turns up his hotness just to see what happens

Is HIGHKEY ready to go at any given point

Even if he's dead tired, he's like "just a quick, lazy sesh, okay 🥺🥺🥺"

If you're scolding him also does this 🥺🥺🥺🥺

Finds it absolutely hilarious and endearing if you're bossy

Obeys whilst giggling all throughout

Your ass is a source of comfort for him, it's not your ass it's OUR ass once you're with him

If you're close with your family, probably the one most likely to spend a lot of time with them (of course, only with you there cause he cannot handle that tension A L O N E)

When you first brought him to meet the fam, anytime you tried to leave he would look at you with a smile on his lips but wide panicked eyes, hissing:

"do nOT leAVE me"

"I need to go to the bathroom..."

"Hold it! for the love of gOD hOLD iT."

After a while, he's a bit more chill, the type to be brought along to every camping trip and cookout

Is probably used for labour by your relatives

No, does not send you memes, he's breaking the Gen Z stereotype as he's not attached to the hip with his phone

Makes a conscious effort to spend enough time with you

He can be weaponized to kill bugs, shoo away birds, glare threateningly at strangers

Gently wrestles you for fun

Really enjoys it if you take care of him, like put hair oil in his hair, massage his shoulders, cream his hands etc.

Doesn't like spending a lot of time hanging around somewhere so he whines in your ear

"Are you going to be done soon?"

"We just got here. I need to buy a new shirt."

"You have plenty at home and they all look great on you. Let's just go eat. There's online shopping for a reason."

Gets jealous a lot but never gets angry at you and quickly lets it go

Mostly pouts and fusses if he thinks you're being too friendly with someone

Sometimes utilizes you as weights whilst working out

Like makes you lay on top of him when he's doing push-ups

Adores if you try to manhandle him only to then show you how it's really done by taking a hold of your legs and hoisting you around his waist

You have had a talk about whether he'd choose Namjoon over you and the results of that debate were relayed to Namjoon himself who just looks at you both with a frown that says "what the hell are both of you on"

Gets lowkey combative if you have bad habits that impact your health like smoking, too much drinking, or not eating regularly

Health to him is very important in spite of you pointing out the hypocrisy of it

As he often fails to take proper care of himself

But he tries so he wants you to try your best as well

Makes a secret tattoo about you

Like your favourite flower, or a favourite thing

Similar to how Namjoon immortalizes you in a way, but on his flesh

Sings around the house but is too shy to give you concerts

Sneaks you into the studio, however, for you to express your opinion

Sneaks you into a lot of places

Like an afterparty or a press conference

A member will see you and wonder out loud:

"I think I saw _____ walking by."

"You're just getting old, seeing things," Jungkook replies trying not to seem too guilty

You can absolutely tell if he has a surprise planned for you

"Jungkook, are you planning to bring me on a secret date?"

"0.0 no 0.0"

If you're mercilessly destroying him at a game, he threatens to cry

Would get upset at you for something he dreamt

Glares at you over coffee cup:

"You said you liked Yoongi better than me."

"In a dream you Dumbo," you roll your eyes. "I'm literally making you breakfast."

He answers with a vague hum, then turns up his nose, all offended:

"Said you liked his hip thrust more."

Wants to adopt more dogs, so you'll have someone to keep you company when he's on tour :( and so that they could protect you in case of home invasion or stalkers

© soraviii/soraviie 2022-2023

[nogenderbee]

Hi! Could I request the brothers + Diavolo with a reader that likes to cook or bake for them? Making bentos, dinner, etc.

Hello and that's really cute idea! I personally am not that good at cooking but it still was a lot of fun! So I hope you enjoy as well <3

Brothers+Diavolo with reader who like to cook/bake

⊱ Lucifer always appreciated how you loved cooking and baking since he always could count on you when you were on cooking duty that day

⊱ even when you wasn't on cooking duty, you always agreed to help others when they had theirs which often leaded to his brothers using you when they didn't wanted to cook

"YN, you need to stop agreeing on taking cooking duty for them, they're not busy, they're just lazy..."

⊱ if it ever happens that you will make a bento for him or just prepare any meal for him and him only, you can be sure he'll enjoy every bite of it

⊱ if you did it because he had a lot of work lately and was so overworked he didn't even had time to go down and eat with you and his brothers, it only makes him appreciate you more than he already does

"Thank you very much, although you didn't had to get out of your way just for this. I can very well take care of myself. But I still obviously appreciate it so thank you!"

⊱ the moment Mammon discovered how good you actually are at cooking and baking, he immediately thought about starting your own business, like restaurant of some sorts for example

⊱ he once actually tried to start his idea and basically got you into it promising you that it all will be alright but a certain older demon stopped him and gave him a lecture how he shouldn't use human and especially his lover

⊱ but expect him to ramble to you how he doesn't want to do all of this work by himself so you're usually there to keep him company and help him with some things, and don't worry he doesn't leave everything to you

"Oi, human! Keep an eye on that pot, will ya? Great Mammon has chopping to do!"

⊱ if it ever happens that you being him a bento, he'll act like he doesn't care when the truth is that he'll enjoy every bite of it and is willing to fight everyone and anyone who interrupts him while doing so

"It's for me? Of course you made a gift like that for THE Mammon!"

⊱ Levi knew you were good at cooking and baking so of course he asked you for help whenever he wanted to try making any food that he saw in anime or manga

⊱ but he also will sometimes ask you if you can take his cooking duty for him, but he doesn't do it often, only when he's in some game that's important to him

"YN! Please you have to save me! I have important game tournament today! Can you PLEAASE take cooking duty for me? I promise I'll make up for it!"

⊱ if you made him a meal because of how worried you were that he hasn't came out of his room much, he'd be sooo talent by this

⊱ after all he's just watching anime or playing games, you don't have to worry so much about grossy otaku like him

⊱ try feeding him with your own made meal while he's too into anime or game, he'll automatically open his mouth and swallow like it's nothing just to realize later what happened

"My Henry, you're truly the kindest person I ever met! Do you want to watch this with me?"

⊱ Satan may be manipulative but he would never use the fact that you can cook against you

⊱ I mean sure, he may have a lot more important things to do than cooking duty but you're also his lover, so faster he'll ask you for help in the kitchen

⊱ if you do help him, he'll definitely treat you to some cat cafe

"I have cooking duty today so would you mind helping me so I can finish all of it faster? I promise I'll pay you back somehow!"

⊱ if you ever give him any meal prepare just for him which probably would be a bento of some sorts then he'd love to enjoy it with either good book in his hand or with your company

⊱ if he'll eat with good book, you can be sute that he'll tell you later how it created a mood and made his book even more enjoyable than normally

⊱ if he'll eat around you tho, you can expect him to just compliment you from nowhere every couple minutes just to make sure you know he really appreciated it and enjoys it

"The food you made is really tasty, I hope you're aware of your abilities. Yes I know I said the same thing 3 minutes ago but it's true so I don't see a problem in repeating it."

⊱ whenever it was a new food trending on internet, Asmo immediately went to you to ask if you can prepare it for him so he can try this and post his opinion with some cute photos on his Devilgram

⊱ sometimes he does uses it against you tho... he'll ask you to help him with his cooking duty just to complain to you and tell the stupidest reasons why he can't cook today

"Darling but just look! Do you see my nails? I literally done them today and if I were to cook something then all my work would go on waste!"

⊱ if you ever make him any meal just for him then be ready for being spoiled in kisses and every kind of affection because at very least, first 5 minutes after receiving it, he'll spoil you with his love as thanks

⊱ also of course he MUST take million photos of food before eating it ESPECIALLY if you decorated it, but don't worry, he'll obviously tag you!

⊱ after that he enjoys every second of it and probably manages to get you to feed him and what's more important maybe even feed you

"C'mon don't you want to taste your amazing work? Or maybe I should use my mouth instead~"

⊱ Beel couldn't be happier when he discovered that your cooking is this good, he'd always end up asking you to making him something but for you it could be really tiring...

⊱ he sometimes things of asking you for help when he have his cooking duty just so he can taste your amazing cooking but at the same time he doesn't want to use you

⊱ but if he hasn't tasted your cooking in really long time, then he definitely will ask if you can help him prepare something

"Can you help me with my cooking duty today? I'd just really like your company and you always make meals taste better!"

⊱ if you ever make him a meal, he eats it in second complimenting your abilities and asking if you have any more so you better actually make a lot of him

⊱ no matter how much and how often he'll eat your food, he'll always appreciate it even if you make him the same dish over and over, it just always tastes good to him

"Mmm! It's tasty like everything you make! Do you maybe have some more?"

⊱ first thing that came into Belphies mind when he discovered that you can cook very good was using asking you for help when he's on his cooking duty

⊱ he won't play in any manipulation and stuff, he'll go to kitchen with you and there he'll tell you that he's too tired for this and will literally fall asleep on the floor

"I'm too tied for this... You're alright with doing it by yourself, right? I'll keep you company while napping... *immediately falls asleep*"

⊱ if you ever make some meal for him then he better not be asleep unless you want your food to get cold before he has a chance to eat it

⊱ if he's not asleep tho then he's going to actually enjoy it and stop himself from sleeping to spend some time with you

⊱ bonus points if you make something that's supposed to keep you awake, for him you better double it a few times and hope that it'll keep him awake for at least a minute

"It's very good... I'm sure Beel would also appreciate it, we should do picnic together sometime."

⊱ Diavolo was always impressed by how good you can cook, he even thinks your abilities may match Barbatos one day

⊱ if you ever agree to cook something at his castle or just help his butler with cooking meals, he'd be more than happy that he can taste meal made by 2 his favorite chefs

"It's certainly one of the best things I ever tasted! When you combine your abilities, you truly can make something incredible!"

⊱ if cooking and baking is generally your passion then he definitely will do his best to get some recipes from the best chefs and bakers

⊱ if you make something special for him and him only, he'd definitely love to show how grateful he is but spoiling you with gifts

"Ah another meal just for me? You truly are the nicest one I have met! Is there something in particular you'd be interested in as my gratitude?"

❉⊱•═•⊰❉⊱•═•⊰❉⊱•═•⊰❉⊱•═•⊰❉⊱•═•⊰❉⊱•═•⊰❉

[maybeitsalivescribbles]

TTD - True Evil 1/4

part1 part2 part3 part 4

*

Something was wrong, though!

Hero knew this. Of course they did. It was just that- that it was easy to forget. Maybe because ironically, since Villain was living with them, everything was fine. When the agency had questioned them about this, all they could complain about was that they couldn't use the shower and bathroom mirror three hours on a row anymore (on the evenings, at least). There was something eerie about how naturally Villain had come crashing into their life. Having them as a roommate was as evident as eating breakfast on lazy mornings when Hero had a day off. They were even hugging now.

For the moment though, Hero's butt was getting kicked. The sad truth was that Villain was much better at video games than them. The two roommates were affronting each other in a fighting match that neither of them enjoyed, but that was the only competitive game Hero had. Villain refused to cooperate, under the brilliant pretext that “they refused to ally with their fated foe”. Given that not five minutes before, their head was resting against the shoulder of said fated foe, there were a lot of possible refutations. Hero hadn’t bothered. After coming back from a long, exhausting day, the easier thing to do was rolling with it. They didn’t even shrug when the shadow next to them, leaning on their game-pad, gloated:

“This is your end, little Hero!”

“Don’t call me little. I’m 5’10.”

“I am 5’10 and a half,” was the smug answer.

Hero glanced sideways at the silhouette next to them, surrounded by a dark mist as always:

“I can’t be sure of that.”

“Then despair while that nagging doubt eats your mind for the rest of your life.”

“I’m good. I’ll rest assured that I have, like, 30 pounds of muscles on you.”

“How have you acquired that knowledge, may I ask?”

“Well, when we hug-”

“Stop calling it like that. And I’ll concede gladly that perk to you. Muscles, bah! Who would need that?”

“Most people, actually.”

“I have a brain. It’s enough. It’s getting rarer and rarer these days.”

They both stared at the Game Over screen.

“Once again, you are finished. Once again, I stomp on your pixellized body and your ego in an unending demonstration of my superior skills and-

Hero cut across them:

“You need to sign the form.”

Villain groaned. Not to be deterred, Hero presented the paper and a pen to them:

“Here.”

“Ah, paperwork. Truly the greatest evil. Even I, with all the darkness in my heart, cannot compare.”

Hero sighed:

“It’s just a signature. And be grateful for the form. It’s the only thing that can prevent Superhero from coming here and ripping you to shreds – possibly us both.”

“I don’t see why.”

“There are laws. If you confirm every day you’re here and reforming, measures can’t be taken against you.”

“Very well. I shall adorn my mark on this pitiful piece of paper.”

Villain moodily signed and Hero took a picture of it, sending it to the secretary and hoping they wouldn’t lose it again. Doing it every day was annoying, sure, but it was all they could find to protect their roommate from the agency – or rather, Superhero. They felt a little relieved every time they sent the text. Villain, though, didn’t seem to care one way or the other. It was irritating and a little worrying.

“Dinner?”

“Yeah, okay.”

Hero stood up and heated their meals on the microwave. Apart from smoothies, Villain was not that interested in food, and Hero was too tired to cook after work most of the time. Villain didn’t seem bothered with this. Actually, once you got used to their constant melodrama, Villain was a rather laid-back roommate. Too laid-back. Hero’s instinct was sending them warning signals. Their guest was taking their situation a little too well. The person they shared their place with and hugged was a complete stranger. All questions about their past were avoided. Hero knew there was an elephant in the room, but they had no idea of what it was made, and that was frustrating to say the least.

The microwave made a ding sound. After a while, Villain reluctantly got out of the couch to find Hero looking at the wall, their arms crossed.

“Are your sudden meditative moment deep enough to forget down-to-earth obligations ?”

Hero clucked their tongue. Villain jumped when their roommate suddenly leaned over the table:

“What happened to you?”

“My plate is getting cold?”

“No, we’re not avoiding the subject anymore. What happened? You have a physical body, but you never stop hiding behind your powers. I’ve checked, you’re listed among the most dangerous villains on the agency’s list. It says you’re a killer, but frankly, I do not believe that one second. You never say anything about your past, you never speak about yourself. When I tell you Superhero wants you dead, your answer is “yeah, okay” and you don’t bring the subject ever again. You get more emotional when I bring you the wrong screwdriver. What is wrong with you?”

“Plenty of things. I am a Villain, how can you hope to comprehend how my twisted spirit w-”

Hero’s fist banged on the table:

“Stop that!”

Villain stepped back. Hero sighed and lifted their hands in surrender:

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry, okay? But you are not helping me. My boss wants to kill you and I don’t know why. I can’t get us out of this if I have no idea what’s going on!”

“It seems simple to me. He’s a superhero, I’m a fearful villain. We’re destined to destroy each other.”

“I’ve never seen him so – so motivated. It goes deeper than that. You can’t keep me in the dark.”

“This is my nature. I don’t see why this is any concern of yours.”

They got their plate out of the microwave without adding a word. Hero dragged their hand over their face:

“Tell me one thing. Just one thing. Have you ever killed anyone?”

The shadow froze. The plate made a loud bang when it was dropped on the table.

“I’m not hungry,” said Villain.

Hero watched them going back to their room. Soon after, they heard the lock of the door.

“That went well,” they mumbled.

*

Next part here

Check the These Two Dorks Masterlist or Tag for more snippets with this Hero and Villain. This is how they met and now they’re roommates.

Or back to Hero x Villain Masterlist.

[midcenturygoth]

what i'm working on... (still under construction)

Zoro and his teenage son - Zosan AU sneak peek

Technically, Roronoa Kouga has been in love with Sanji first. He was the first to see and introduce himself to him when the blond man moved into this apartment complex two years ago.

Not his stupid, single and completely oblivious dad, who apparently has zero consideration for his teenage son's very real and deep and intense romantic feelings for their neighbor. No. Kouga came and saw first. He's still working on the conquering part - and it very much is a work in progress.

Kuroashi Sanji is the full package: tall, elegant, funny, a fantastic cook, nice, kind, strong... Kouga daydreams about his blinding smile, the way his nose crinkles when he laughs. Pretty. Very pretty... and blond. Roronoa Kouga likes blonds. This he had decided the day he saw Sanji lugging a bunch of suitcases up the stairs.

Kouga looks at himself in the mirror, inspects the pimple growing on his chin.

He would've helped Sanji that day, if it hadn't been for his stupid dad, sending Kouga to do his homework while carrying three of Sanji's bags up the stairs at once like they weighed nothing.

"Kouga! Get your lazy ass ready, I am not driving you to school today!", his stupid dad yells from the kitchen. "And don't even think about bothering Curly again just because you can't tell time! He's had the night shift. Let him sleep."

The 15-year old sighs and rolls his eyes before grabbing his school bag and rushing out of his room.

Roronoa Zoro likes blonds as well, it seems. Kouga doesn't actually know his birth mother but judging from the one picture he has of her, well. Yeah. So, maybe his dad has had a thing for blonds for longer. But he's also decades older than Kouga, which makes it unfair and a moot point.

"Don't call him Curly, dad, you know Sanji doesn't like that.", Kouga grumbles as he sits down at the kitchen table, where eggs, rice and natto await him. He picks up his chopsticks and the ready-to-eat natto container and starts stirring the fermented beans and the accompanying sauce diligently. He likes it okay but he'd much prefer Sanji's mouthwatering grilled salmon and homemade miso soup instead of the instant crap his father always buys just because he can't cook.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for refusing to do the dishes?

I live in a household with two other able-bodied people and one physically disabled person, my mother. My father took up her job of maintaining the house and making meals, but was truly insufferable about it, so I decided to do things myself in order to avoid fights. My father is a very abusive individual, and it's best to just avoid pissing him off.

But over the years, I've been tasked with everything. My dad, nor my younger sibling do anything at all around the house unless they're asked repeatedly (and it must be a small task, like wiping down the table, or it starts a fight).

I'm exhausted, and tired of cleaning up after my lazy family. I cook whatever meals they want in a kitchen with no a/c in 105° weather and do all of the clean up. I even have to bring them the food to their rooms and take the plates back, which just feels insulting.

I've now started to refuse to clean, though I still make meals because I know if I don't, my disabled mother and little sister will either not eat, or be forced to make themselves something, because my father only takes care of himself.

I've been getting reamed for not cleaning anymore, the house has gone into complete disarray. The neglect my family has shown it is apparent without me fighting to keep things afloat. I don't have the energy to care, but my parents guilt trip me and yell at me constantly over it.

(Also, I am currently working hard on moving out as I am now an adult, but I feel guilty leaving my little sister here to deal with all of this alone.)

I still clean up after myself, though not the after dinner dishes because it's exhausting after standing in the sweltering kitchen for hours. I usually ask my sister to handle putting away things and doing the dishes after she's done eating, but I feel a bit guilty about it.

My dad has been calling me "lazy", "entitled", "spoiled", etc. whenever he gets the energy to yell at me over the state of the house. He's now had to start doing chores again, thus he's back to screaming at everyone about how hard it is and how everyone is lower than dirt for not helping, etc.

TL:DR: Family gave up on household responsibilities and dumped them all on me for years, I'm now getting screamed at for not cleaning up after everyone in 105° weather with no a/c, though I still make sure everyone is eating because I know they wouldn't if I didn't make food, as well as make sure I clean up after myself.

What are these acronyms?

[twistedtummies2]

We all know who you think can eat the most at NRC but I'm curious as to who you think can eat the LEAST. (Also love your work. Might actually write some stories based off of some of your headcannons/prompts if you don't mind)

First of all, by all means! I am happy to be an inspiration. It is most flattering. ^///^ Second of all, if you're referring to the main cast...well, if we disregard Ortho and the staff members, and we only stick to canon characters...ooooooh, that's still a REALLY hard one, for a LOT of reasons. 'XD I'm gonna saaaaay...Silver. Now, I know some people - I'm specifically looking at you, @belliesandburps, if you're reading this - will disagree, because Silver makes a very good "lazy eater," being the sleepy, deadpan, socially inept sort he is. And I do agree, that is a good headcanon and point. HOWEVER, there are two reasons I choose Silver. One: because I'm just not into him, really, myself. So, therefore, I have no guilt picking him and denying a lad I AM into, even though I doubt I would do so anyway. LOL But two, AND MORE IMPORTANTLY...I think that Silver is CANONICALLY the smallest eater of the bunch. What makes me say this? Well, here's the thing: to my recollection, Silver has almost never complained about being hungry in any Events, Vignettes, or parts of the Main Story. If he has AT ALL, indeed, then I can't remember them, so it's clearly not been very often. In fact, I looked at his Voice Lines, just for a start, and he never complains about being a hungry goober as far as I can tell: quite the opposite, in fact. He mentions that he's glad OTHERS are eating well, and he does mention he wants to learn to be a better cook, and he does bring up how bad Lilia's sense of haute cuisine is...but he never once complains or even considers getting food himself at any point, as far as I can find. IN-DOUBLE-FACT, there's literally a line for his Birthday Card where he expresses CONFUSION at people bringing him so many sweets and such, and wonders if they think he's "really that hungry." The only instance in the Voice Lines I could find where Silver mentions his own appetite is him offering a protein bar to the MC and saying he likes it, himself. That's literally it. Silver is also one of the few characters with no Cards that reference his appetite in any way at all. I looked at all the available Card Art so far, and aside from Culinary Crucible (which is more about cooking than eating, you'll recall), he is never shown with food ONCE. Now, I should immediately add, he is not alone in that: Malleus, for example, also has no Cards that visibly reference his appetite in any direct fashion. BUT, the difference there is that Malleus' appetite has been quite noticeably focused on a few times, and it's memorable when it happens: it's not just a passing mention of him being hungry that I may or may not have forgotten, it's stuff like him talking about swallowing several people whole, or references to him eating a lot of fast food (which I still find amusing, by the way), or him devouring (or at least trying to devour) a whole cake. So while the occasions may not be FREQUENT, they are NOTEWORTHY. Silver doesn't have any of those, as well as no visible art that I can find. One last thing to note, which I think is important, is that Silver is something of a foil for Sebek. Why is this important? Because while the pair are equally loyal to Malleus and Lilia, how they express that loyalty, and the kinds of personalities and traits they have, are deliberately meant to be opposites of each other. So, just based on that fact alone, in a lore-type of sense, if you will...since Sebek is a NOTORIOUSLY big eater (and possible canon pred), it stands to reason that Silver would not be just because he is the total opposite. In fact, that was one of the things I noticed about his Voice Lines: more than once he comments on Sebek's appetite, but he never brings up his own. Sooooo...yeah. While I get the appeal of Silver as a "lazy eater," I would venture to say that, just based on canon evidence, he is probably the "smallest eater" among the main cast of TW. And since I don't particularly favor him myself, either, I see no reason to disrupt this plausible headcanon.

[sseen11]

 Treat! 🌸LuffyXreader🌸

Warning: Nothing too intense, kissing and use of tongue.

Summary: you were being stubborn, not sharing your food not like he does, so he might as well work with what he has.

♡

Half of the crew was sitting on the deck of the ship, drained from the energy they wasted on fighting a reckless and wild sea monster after we left fishman island.

actually it's sea monsters since the creature apparently called it's friends too which was harder to deal with because they also had slipper skin which the captain himself couldn't do much against but luffy being luffy did actually and that almost got him killed when he drowned in the ocean had not zoro pulled him out with our help even though he was sleeping the time we were fighting, not a care in the world as layed by the deck dozing off.

so that's exactly why he is being treated by chopper right now, his fainted form probably still lying on the doctor's bed as we all await for for our cook to make us some energy drinks.

You heard a click of a door open and your eyes glance toward the door, coming in vision with sanji as he came outside with a tray, specifically and gracefully giving it to the ladies as he boredly gave them to the other crew members too expect zoro because he was bickering about him being useless which you very Much agreed with this time.

You pay your attention back to the cones of ice cream he made, you actually expected him to make a energy smoothies or something but this is even better.

Blessingly looking at it you you take a click, closing your eyes right after you tasted the heavenly flavour.

If you could cook like sanji oh the most delicious food you can serve yourself any time.

Half the crew was gushing over sanji's ice cream, praising him now and then though he only reacted to the ones nami, you or robin made, getting on his knees as he tried to kiss nami's hand, earning a loud bang on his head.

"You are beautiful when you are angry, nami-San!" He swooned, hearts in his eyes as his form lay on the Floor from the impact of the hit.

In the middle of your eating you remembered something you forgot in your room and you immediately got up, your feet making loud noises as you ran on it, careful to not drop your treat.

You open the door of your room, turning the doorknob to get inside.

You looked through the drawers in your room, shuffling through various uneeded stuff to find what you were looking for.

You frowned your brows when you were met with nothing, taking a lick of your cold treat as your eyes wandered around the room. Your mind trying to function where you put it.

You let out a sigh, troubling yourself as you moved to the fridge that was placed in your room, making the ice cream stand awkwardly in a place so you can look for what you were looking for without the risk of it falling.

Determined you turn around your form, hands on hips as you try to remember anything to get a clue on where to search.

That went on for a while, you searhing your whole damn room till you almost might as well recked it.You let out a groan of annoyance, almost about to thrash open your whole closet when a familiar figure walked in your room, closing the door with a click sound against metal to metal.

His hand reached over his head, grasping the straw hat as he placed it on the table beside the door, entering freely becuase of course he can.

You were surprised at his approach, your body turning toward his lazy one which was hunched, looking drained for some reason.

"Luffy! You got up well soon!" You joyfully say, very dearly glad your beloved is awake again though there was definitely something bothering him.

"Oh yea, chopper said it's nothing to worry about." Luffy replied, walking closer to you and you tilt your head confusingly at his dry tone.

"Is something wrong?" You ask him, hands crossing over your chest as he finally met your gaze with his dark brown ones.

He frowned. "I am Hungry." He complained, one hand resting on his stomach.

Oh. You blinked, startled at something as such. You actually thought it was something serious.

You let out a chuckle, touch his front to make him stand straighter instead of hunching down.

"Go ask sanji for some, he just made a treat." You told him, mentioning toward the door.

"already ate that and sanji said wait for dinner." He was standing straighter now, back to the look though he sounded dull.

Well you couldn't do much about his problem.

"You might just have to contain it then until dinner." You said, clapping him on the shoulders as you turned around to continue on what you were looking for.

You heard a small groan from behind you and you expected him to complain again but he stayed quite while observing the mess you just made, walking around the room curiously.

Luffy has never actually bothered to check what's in your room so he watched you drop some stuff in accident, bending down to pick it up again now and then.

Luffy didn't had much to Do so he just watched you do whatver you are doing, not bothering to ask what since he guessed he probably wouldn't care much.

Though that got boring. He was still sitting on the bed, doing nothing but move the pupil of his eyes as you searched your whole closet.

The captain got up, walking to the corner of the room to where your fridge was, hoping to find something to cure his boredom.

You curiously take a glance behind you, watching luffy go to your fridge and you frown your brows at what is trying to find when his eyes suddenly lifted up, the stars and twinkle back swirling the depths of his brown eyes as a wide grin slowly growed on his mouth.

You notice his hand reach higher to grasp somet-

Oh hell no.

You Sprint toward his direction, stopping near him as your hand close around his wrist, the other hand claiming the ice cream in your hand away from his reach.

"What-" luffy was confused to what you were stopping his wrist for when he saw you reach for the ice cream, a frown on his face as you pulled it away from him.

"This is not yours." You finally tell him, glaring at him for even trying to steal your food.

"But-" luffy tried, his other hand lifting up towards it too. You interrupt him, narrowing your eyes at his hands.

"You already ate yours, no need to go after mine." You were very defensive over your food just like him.

"How about Just a lick!" He despairingly said, longingly looking at the treat in your other hand as he almost drooled on the spot.

"No." You flatly say.

"Please!, you are not eating it-" He urged you on, stepping closer to you as you closed the fridge door completely so he doesn't start on going after your other pieces of treasure.

Your eyes glance toward the ice cream, bringing it higher up to your mouth.

"I am eating it now." You release your tongue, licking a taste as you looked at him from the corner of your eyes.

Luffy grumbled, a frown touching him again as he looked at your tongue tasting the flavour he wanted to experience again.

His mouth was slightly hung open, your hand still around his wrist as you ate the ice cream, literlly Almost finishing it in front of him.

Then you placed the almost last bit of chunk between your lips, trying to smoothly slide the whole piece in them as lufy's eyes watched slight of the cream Melt down from your lips to your jaw, going lower without you realizing it, too invested at the heavenly taste of your treat.

he gulped, watching as more drops melted down your jaw and he wrenched his hand out of your grasp and you gasp as his hands brace themselves on your soulders while his face leaned toward your neck.

You felt his warm tongue slip out as he swiftly dragged it up from your neck to the edge of your lips, tasting the few drops of ice cream on your skin and you notice his eyes close as he Did so, your body frozen.

you couldn't do anyting expect release a startled noise from your throat as he licked your skin until you were out of your daze, a pool of warmth spread across your skin at his actions, your ears and cheeks heating up.

Not knowing exactly what to do you push away his face, watching his eyes open while his tongue hissed out to lick the renaming taste on his lips before a wicked grin formed on his lips at the taste of your skin with the treat.

"What are you doing-" you stopped, no words forming as he gazed at you yearningly, a look turning your nerves hot within, his hands still braced at your suddenly very warm skin.

Luffy didn't say anything, instead his hands left their place, holding your warm cheeks now as he leaned eagerly toward your lips with his until they harshly securely met.

You weren't sure how you were standing at this point as his teeth bit into your lower lip, making his tongue slip inside your mouth, touching every corner as if searching for something.

Your eyes were still open in shock and you watched his brow lower down, a frustrated look on his face even though he kept his muscle to explore your insides while a bunch of wings of fluttered around your stomach to reach your rapidly racing heart.

Then impatiently his tongue slided over the side of your own tongue, a soft moan slipping out of him at what he tasted there since his tongue only wondered near there, the tip of his muscle swirling around it as his hands pulled your face closer to deepen the kiss.

And finally he pulled back enough for you two catch your breath though his lips still brushed your, the both of you breath apart. As if the whole thing wasn't enough for your beating heart, he rested his tongue on your lower lip, licking along the skin there until he was satisfied.

"Luffy-" the cone was holded weekly in your hands as you try to let out words which were mostly breathless whispers.

As if he didn't just set you on fire he tilts his head sideways.

"Yes?"

You shook your head, hundered percent very sure he can hear your heartbeat.

Not knowing what to do under his curious gaze you pass him the rest of your ice cream, fingers slightly numb.

"On second though Here, you can have this." You offer, your eyes already far away as he grins mischiefly, knowing exactly what he is doing but he released your warm cheeks, holding the last bit of cone you gave.

"Thanks!" He heartdly said out loud, waving you a later as he ran outside your room, you just nodding your head from where you were standing.

As if your memory of what You were finding wasn't weak enough, he made you even forgot that you were looking for something, your form sitting on the couch in your room as your mind kept repeating over what happened second ago.

You were definitely going to have hard time sleeping tonight.

💗

[ros3ybabe]

Daily Check-in: October 12th, 2023 🎀

Today has been a lazy yet somewhat decent day? There's not much to complain about. Besides the fact that I didn't do a single homework assignment, I'm exhausted, so that's alright. I did do a decent amount of Japanese studying today though I didn't open up my Genki Textbook like I had wanted to but oh well, there's always tomorrow!

🩷 What I Ate Today -

Brunch - Spaghetti with ground Turkey and meat sauce

Dinner - Taco bowl with ground beef, black beans, shredded cheese, shredded lettuce, sour cream, a small dollop of avocado, and red salsa with 1.5 low carb tortillas

Snack - bunny tracks ice cream, 16oz bottle of Dr pepper

Extra - 4? cups of coffee (or 5, I can't remember)

I was not very productive today in terms of academic progress, but I still feel like I did what I could given my energy levels. (and caffiene intake). Did not eat the healthiest, but I listened to my body, and honestly, not every day will be perfect, and that's okay!

🩷 Personal Achievements, Oct 12th -

cooked ground beef (leftovers woooo!!)

washed dirty laundry

put away all clean clothes

did my therapy phone call

video called my boyfriend

morning + night skincare

completed 2 duolingo lessons

completed 1 busuu lesson

completed 3 kanji lessons

typed up one draft for upcoming blog post

I had heard about an app called Kanji that teaches you kanji based on JLPT Levels, and I actually really like it, so I bought access to all levels for 11$ USD!! feel like that's a fair price for over 2000 kanji, and I'm excited to start expanding my Japanese knowledge. Also, I am trying out the LingQ app. It's pretty interesting and seems useful for reading practice! I don't know why I got such a kick to study japanese but I am not complaining!!

No Academic Achievements for Today

🩷 Personal ToDo, Oct 13th -

Review previous 3 kanji lessons

Complete 1 duolingo lesson

Complete 1 busuu lesson

Continue Genki I Lesson one (?)

morning + night skincare

morning + night journal

morning workout (at home)

make bed

read 1 chapter of atomic habits or other self help book

🩷 Academic ToDo, Oct 13th -

Culinary Chapter 10 Quiz

Consumer Debt Inventory Assignment

Chapter 9 Notes Psyc

Chapter 9 Quiz Psyc

Attend Psyc Lab

Attend Anatomy Lab

Using Credit Personal Finance assignment

module notes fitness health and sport

module quiz fitness health and sport

work on component 2 for psyc paper

Giving myself a lot of school work to complete tomorrow but that's okay because I have the day off from work so I know I'll be able to get a lot of it done, if not all of it! I'm hoping I sleep decently tonight so I can wake up ready to rule the world tomorrow. My goal is to wake up early, workout, shower, do some makeup and get ready, and be on campus early to get back into the school mindset because I know I've been slacking these last two days. I work a double shift on Saturday, so tomorrow is really the ideal time to finish everything as much as possible.

🩷 Song of the Day: Fearless, Jp Version - Le Sserafim

This has been my anthem lately. It's catchy, and I kind of prefer this to the original version in Korean, but that's a bit biased on my end as I am studying Japanese at the moment.

🩷 Tomorrow Morning Workout - Pilates

Even if I only finish the first video, I will be proud of myself. It's the effort that counts, and it's definitely gonna be a start! I will be posting an updated current workout schedule with routines soon!!

That's all for now! I will update tomorrow night!

Til next time, lovelies 🩷

[pettyrevenge-base]

Cheat on me? Well good luck having your mistress tak careof your lazy ass.

This is not my story. This is my aunt's story. I am in her house because there is a family reunion. My aunt, let's call her sara. And her ex husband dick. This happened almost 10 years ago. My aunt sara discovered her husband was cheating on her with a 25 year old. He was 49 and my aunt was 42. They had 2 kids. Now a little back story my aunt was a SAHM. She was very health conscious. In out culture people tend to overfeed you. But she was against it because people in our family have heart condition and diabetes. Dick was someone who liked to eat and lead a lazy life. My aunt always pushed him to do some exercise. The reason is none of the men in his family lived past 55. She wanted him to stay alive for the kids.

She always cared for his health, did all his chores and was a good wife overall. But it wasn’t enough for dick. He went on and cheated on her and blamed her. Because when he is with the mistress he feels alive. The mistress doesn’t force him to eat healthy or exercise. The mistress doesn’t nag him all the time. My aunt was devastated. Her husband left her and soon she is going to be a single mom. So instead of wallowing in pain. She packed his stuff up and went to the mistress's house. She left those bags and had a long list.

The list contain the number of medication he needs. What he needs to eat, his schedules, where he shops, what he likes to eat etc. It's basically a manual of how to keep her deadbeat husband functioning. The way my aunt described the mistreas's expression is priceless. It is like as if there was an explosion in front of her. Few days after she left she would get constant calls from the mistress about her husband. She would complain he doesn’t like the food she makes because it is not like hers. Even her ex husband had the audacity to call her when his gf wasn’t home so that she can come and cook. She would always hang up. They both calles multiple times my aunt turned them away each time.

She got backlash for not caring but she was stubborn in her decisions. Over the time her kids also stopped visiting their dad because their dad knows nothing about the kids. It’s been 10 years, she is divorced. She works as a teacher in a school. Her kids are all established and takes care of their mother. They barely talk to their dad. Aunt never got married. I think she doesn’t want to either.

On the other hand dick and his mistress are miserable. The last time I saw them dick looked fat. Like really fat. He had a heat attack last year. The mistress looks like she aged 20 years. She looks miserable. And whenever she looked at dick it seems like she wanted to kill him. I guess my aunt was the only one keeping him alive. But I'll give him credit for making past 55.

Source: reddit.com/r/pettyrevenge

[cheemscakecat]

Missing in Action 5 1/2

Chapter 5 1/2 Team Meat-ing Part 2

Young Spy prepares a meal for the whole team with Scout’s help. But despite the good food, he doesn’t seem super happy.

No cover art, but I’ve included pictures of each dish IRL

The first thing Scout noticed the next morning was the smell of Spy’s stupid cigarettes. He followed the smell into the kitchen, which was where he was going anyways. The new guy was there cleaning and gathering pots and pans, while smoking one of Spy’s cigs. Jeremy decided that someone might as well use them.

”What’s up?” He asked, sneaking over to the fridge to get the milk. Most days he just ate cereal, if it was there and nobody cooked breakfast. They hadn’t had much left after the admin mess, but there was ham and bacon unopened in the bottom drawer, and nobody got sick from it. He didn’t know if it was good that his thoughts drifted to miss Pauling. He wanted to believe that it was just concern over her new job, but he worried that he hadn’t moved on.

”I am going to cook ze food today. But there are many hens, so I need both kitchens.” Jeremy nodded and mindlessly took a bowl and his sugary chocolate cereal. It look him a second after pouring to notice new Spy staring. “What is that?”

”It’s cereal. Mostly just kids eat it for breakfast but I uh… get in a hurry.” Normally, Scout wouldn’t be embarrassed about not cooking most days, but this new guy was right here gatherin stuff for a big meal. He felt pretty lazy.

”I need to get food from ze other kitchen started. Come there after cereal.” And with that, Spy wandered off with an armful of clean pots.

When Scout opened the passageway door 10 minutes later, he found the Spy chopping vegetables. That was weird, there weren’t really any in the other fridge, even after a restock. “You go to town last night?” Spy turned around and shook his head. He opened another hidden door.

“Ze delivery people put ze new produces in this bread pocket so it would not rot.” Spy set down the knife and brought over a white paper box from the island. It was full of fancy looking bread that Jeremy wasn’t familiar with. “Have this pain au chocolat.” He said, plopping the dessert into his hand.

It was a real flaky bread with chocolate filling! Scout was surprised that it was still fresh, but quickly remembered that newbie woulda thrown out any moldy bread.

Things seemed to be going pretty well for a while. Jeremy offered to help Spy if he wanted it, and was tasked with putting the vegetables in each pot. He noticed a lot of butter. But he noticed that everything had grinded to a halt when they got to cutting the chickens.

New Spy was staring blankly at the fancy bird with a knife half raised in his hand. At first, Jeremy assumed he was just making up his mind on somethin, but he stayed like that for 10 minutes before he decided to speak up.

“You uh, alright man?” He asked. Spy blinked once and sighed. “Sorry, it’s… I wasn’t planning to do meals so soon after… after relocation.” He didn’t explain any further than that. But Scout got a very sudden feeling that there was much more going on.

“Well uh, I could try to help you. Cut the time in half, right?” Spy flinched for some reason before putting on a forced, close-lipped grin. “I think that would be best, thank you. I’m not feeling… fast right now.”

Spy got to work browning stuff in one of the pans. “Cut ze drumsticks and ze thighs off 2 hens.” Scout remembered watching Ma cut the turkey at thanksgiving and did his best. As far as he could tell it was decent, but he figured Spy might not agree. He glanced over from the bacon and veggies in the pan. “Did I… do it right?” He asked. “It does not have to be perfection. The bulk of ze meat is where we want.” Good.

“So, uh… what are we making right now?” Jeremy got the feelin he should keep things light. Something was botherin the new guy. “Coq au vin.” He snorted and spy blinked at him. He was almost convinced that it was because it sounded like his old man’s weird *** snort laugh. Oh wait, no. New guy wouldn’t know about that. “What is funny?”

”Oh, just sounded like an American word for… something.” Spy stirred for a while and made Scout believe he’d moved on. “Oh, is word for *****.” He wheezed like Ma and for some reason newbie looked even more surprised.

They prepped something called “chicken fricassee” which two more hens worth’a drums and thighs, then two pots of… um…

”Wait, what was it called?” “Poulet a la Moutarde Francaise.” “Uh….” “Mustard chicken.” Maybe there was a good reason for fancy names after all.

With the remainin four chickens, they prepped two to be roasted whole. Cut the thighs and drums off the others for “chicken chasseur” n that left the breasts for “chicken Provençal”. Scout watched new Spy take the bones and put them in a big metal thing.

“What are you gonna do with the bones?” “Chicken stock.” He answered, shoving them in the big freezer. Apparently some of the other freezer mystery tubs were stock or sauces.

—————————

Good lord, the base smelled magnificent. It took half the team just to make sure Solly didn’t go in the kitchen and mess up that cookin food. Thankfully Engineer didn’t have to keep Pyro out on account of his mask.

They knew Spy was French, they knew that but.. it was easy to forget the whole “food hub” thing when the smoking room wasn't for meals. Spy musta been cookin and eating in his secret kitchen, or the base woulda smelled like this sooner.

Demoman wasn’t much affected by the smell. It was nice to be sure, but he had gone on with his pure alcohol diet so long that food didn’t tempt him. But he noticed Sniper of all people pacing around all impatient like. He liked to live on the land, but even he weren’t immune to good cookin.

Heavy was glad that Spy had not gone to his house in Siberia. Not just because of Scout being ill, but because he wouldn’t have been happy with the food. There were many less spices in a place so far, and mother had to make them last. Normally he was content with his sandviches, but he could tell this meal would be a treat.

Medic locked Archimedes and the other doves in the medbay. They, like him, had no qualms about eating cooked bird. Archimedes might have possibly eaten a cooked dove if it were offered to him, but he was cute and the doctor was content with that.

Antoine wasn’t looking forward to dinner. It wasn’t doubt in his own abilities or the healthfulness of the food. He just.. he didn’t want to cook for a new team! On that Helicopter he told himself he’d be wise this time, not overly friendly and naive. But here he was cooking for a strange team without a proper mask to hide his face.

And he missed them. It was the same good food, but it wasn’t for them. They weren’t… here. Was he really about to do this so soon? During his failed relocation, with total strangers?

He pictured the desert Scout assisting him earlier that day. If he’d been alone, that good hen would have gone rancid from him standing useless at the counter. And it shouldn’t be like that. He shouldn’t be like that. Desert Scout seemed like a nice enough guy. Someone he would befriend if he got to stay, but that probably would not happen. But for now, it was nice knowing someone near his age who was kind.

This Scout reminded him of Merriam, actually. He missed her, even if she hated him forever. Of course she didn’t know the secret. She and Jeremy were safer that way. He debated calling her on the desert Spy’s phone but felt afraid it was tapped.

It had surprised him that the missing Spy was French actually. France was in Europe, and while it’s people were not as pasty and weak to heat as the British, it was not a sweltering country. He took the nightmares over staying awake long in the weeks he spent in that cave. Better to conserve energy that way. The missing Spy had expensive tastes and probably did not much like heat himself. What possessed him to move to a desert team?

He may have been one of the bad spies. The ones who sell their teammates secrets. He knew they were out there, his old team warned him to speak with carefulness around other RED spies, not just BLU. He wouldn’t let that advice go to waste, especially if his family could be tracked.

—————————

New Spy laid out a really epic spread of food! Jeremy had to admit, he’d been skeptical of the meal gettin boring using the same veggies in so many fancy French dishes. But he was wrong. It all looked so good, and he wanted to taste everything!

There were really smooth yellow mashed potatoes and some kinda greens, and lots and lots of chicken! Spy wrapped some melon in fancy deli meat and put it on a cutting board with cheese, olives and more deli meat. There was a tray of colorful desserts and fancy breads like the one he ate at breakfast, too.

Engineer made sure to grab some extra dessert and watered down wine with Pyro’s plate, and loaded up his own with just about everything he and Spy could fit. Heavy had already told him they didn’t eat at the table, but at least Engie knew he hadn’t offended baby Spy.

Heavy was interested in the cheese platter, but skipped it because he knew his big hands would touch everyone else’s share by mistake. But he was pleased with the red sauced chicken meals and the roasted whole breast. He took a spiral bread from the edge of the dessert tray and it was very sweet and pleasantly delicate.

Medic enjoyed the mushroom based sauce on the mashed potatoes, it reminded him of Germany’s different gravies. The meat wrapped cantaloupe was surprisingly good, and even if the spinach was soft and unlike sauerkraut, the flavor was still very good. He made sure to grab an extra plain pastry to share with his birds later.

Spy hooked Demoman up wit scotch and some stronger wine instead of insisting that he eat. He appreciated it, even if the drink was too mild for him to get a buzz.

Soldier had never been a fancy civilized person. He preferred to sleep outside surrounded by raccoons, not in buildings that were too neat and riddled with rules. He was enjoying the food though. He hoped that Spy might make more for him and Zhanna sometime, because the only other place to get fancy people food was fancy people restaurants. And he could tell that she would feel just as itchy to leave as him in a place like that.

Sniper didn’t usually go for smaller white meat birds, preferring emu and other big Aussie bird meat, but the red sauces appealed to him. He liked the fancy desserts well enough, even if he didn’t know what the squishy stuff was… not pudding.. not frosting. It was good though. The mustardy chicken was good broken up and eaten with the green stuff, which he took to be polite.

Scout was having a blast! He never knew there were so many ways to cook chicken and make it taste different. And new Spy probably knew like seven more ways. French food had always seemed like a distant idea behind his stinking deadbeat father and his stuck up attitude. It always sounded snobby by proxy.

But maybe his dumb*** dad was used to good food like this, and that’s why he hated the fried chicken Scout bought. He had to admit, if he ate it after a bite of one of these dishes it would taste like cardboard. But that didn’t make it right to waste food like he did during the bread monster accident. Letting it fall on the floor and get gross… whatever, this wasn’t about him.

There was mustardy chicken that was really good with the green stuff and a plain “croissant”. The roasted chicken was lemony and had a bunch of green spices on it. The white sauce with mushrooms went super well with the good mashed potatoes. He ate pieces of cheese from the cutting board in between the heavier red sauced chicken. And even the melon thing he tried was good!

He got full faster than he usually did eating chicken. But then again, he usually just ate a bucket of fried drumsticks with no mashed potatoes or other stuff. It was kind of boring food, now that he thought about it. He smelled something like peanut butter on the dessert tray and decided it was worth trying. New Spy told him it was hazelnut flavored; he knew because he ate one too.

————————

The leftover food was put in the shared kitchen, except for the cheese board and some of the pastries, which Antoine took back to the other Spy’s kitchen. Then everyone went to bed. He was glad that everyone liked the food, especially since it meant they didn’t watch him too closely. The sound of Scout innocently cutting the raw chicken bones apart almost made him vomit earlier.

It was not so bad at dinner, but his stomach still churned looking at the food he wished he was serving to his old team. He ate the potatoes, roasted chicken and creamed spinach instead of having the same fun as the others. It all went down well enough, and when the desert Scout was unsure of what dessert he had eaten, he worked up the guts to taste one and tell him the flavor. He missed them. And he missed Merriam. It took him longer to fall asleep in the chair by the fire, even though he was just as full as the desert team who were dreaming in peace. For once, he did not have a nightmare.

Here’s what the meal would have looked like, more or less

Coq au Vin

Chicken Fricassee

Poulet a la Moutarde Francaise

Chicken Chasseur

Chicken Provençal

Roasted whole chicken

Charcuterie board

Mashed potatoes

Creamed Spinach because health [same]

The desserts

The hazelnut thing Scout ate.

[comfortless]

Hello! I love your work and ur such a talented writer ❤️❤️

Can I request a part 2. for “This Time Around”. It’s so good and I’d love to see more of them ☺️

thank you so much!! i am offering you a little gift through the screen do you accept… 🎁

i could not will myself to write a full part as i feel their story is very much an ‘and they lived happily ever after’ sort of thing BUT. i have been thinking about their date… it would be so cute, i think…

content/warnings: this is just fluff heheh

She doesn’t sleep the entire night after that phone call— instead, there is an abundance of planning and preparing to do. It has to be perfect, everything, right down to the finest details.

She’s spent years watching him, she knows what he likes and it should be easy despite her lack of human graces. There’s… still the urge to do the instinctive sprite things, lurking some where in her very flesh. She takes his shirts to sleep when he’s deployed, still steals any treats he may have hidden. The problem with planning for a very human date is that she simply is not human, even if she looks the part now.

The bulk of her night is spent seated on the sofa, trawling through the channels on his television for any glimpses of human romance. She’s never been very studious; there’s no need for that in her reality, where things just go easily with a touch of enchantment and revelry. Settling on one, she watches the humans on screen with rapt attention. She doesn’t realize that while film is an art, most don’t speak or behave this way in natural circumstances. She practices her swooning, the fanning of her face, her sighs and demure glances all on the couch.

Cooking is far less troublesome, at first. The giant had taught her patiently, insisting that he did not wish for her to eat little else than cookies and slices of bread during those times that he was away. She had learned how to use the kitchenware, chest fluttering with contentment any time König had taken her hand to guide her or stroked the top of her head and praised her. She promised him cake, settling on Esterházy torte when she recalls a lazy afternoon with him where he told her about his homeland. He liked his coffee black, yet he did not shy away from sweetness. Perhaps that was part of the reason that he enjoyed her company.

Only, she hadn’t anticipated that Esterházy torte would be such an utter pain to make. Her pace is frighteningly quick as she buzzes from the kitchen to the cooking instruction on screen, trying to squeeze every bit of information for the next ten minutes in her mind already bogged down with excitement; over and over for what felt like an entire century. Each layer of the treat had to be prepared separately. König was by no means a baker, and the items that she needed to prepare it properly ranging from different sized pans to certain ingredients simply… were not there.

There was no apricot jam; she settles for plucking blackberries, ripe and sweet, from just outside and making a rushed jam of her own. What was meant to be five layers is whittled down to three; a thick portion of the makeshift blackberry jam slathered between two overly fat layers of sponge cake. It’s not pretty, either. The icing isn’t evened over like the cakes in the video she watches from the kitchen’s doorway. The dark jam makes the poor thing look as though it’s spilling blood rather than seated cozily like any of the cakes in display cases. It would have to do, because the morning sun is already high in the sky by the time that she finishes it.

Getting ready for the date seems worse. The women in films were perfect; their hair was smooth and even, the colors they wore on their faces highlighted their femininity. König had never purchased her makeup, and the dresses he had filled her share of the closet with were not the same. They weren’t revealing, not enough to highlight the curves of her hips or her cleavage when she pictures herself leaning over to him to bat her eyelashes and tell him just how much she adores him.

She’s a bit sullen when she settles for the soft pink one with the lace trim that she wears often. It’s cute, but it isn’t one of the strappy, silky things she had seen in the movies. She does her best with what she has, and when she looks into the mirror for confirmation she only recalls their first meeting— where König had called her pretty, despite being several great sizes too small and covered in cookie crumbs.

All of the exertion was for naught, she realizes when the sun hangs high in the sky and the sound of the door opening pulls her from her rampant preparing. König simply looks content, more at ease than she had ever seen him when he pulls her into a hug and presses a lingering kiss to her forehead. They’re already head over heels before the date even begins, as they have been for months, and she simply doesn’t realize it.

He doesn’t complain about the state of the ugly cake when she carries it into the backyard. The picnic blanket is spread out by him while she tells him about how she spent her time apart from him. He doesn’t explain the gritty details of his work this time, only that he saw flowers she may have liked on his deployment and how he wished he could take her to prettier places one day.

She seats herself in his lap while they talk, pressing bites of cake between his lips while the back of her head rests upon his shoulder. His arm curls around her waist as he does the same for her in turn. The confection… isn’t the best, not by a long shot, yet König doesn’t voice a word of complaint. Not as she does, when she grimaces from the tart flavor of the jam clashing with the cinnamon and cream. Fortunately, he only seems to find that cute, and he tells her this, harping on everything that she does that sets his heart aflame until she giggles sweetly for him.

“I wrote you a letter,” he tells her suddenly after the horrible cake has been cleared away and they’re watching the clouds above on their backs. It probably isn’t something that he would enjoy on his own, but for her… it seemed that any silly idea she supplied was met with acceptance from him.

“I didn’t get any letters.” She frowns as she points out a cloud that looks suspiciously like the cat that nearly ate her several months ago.

König reaches into his pocket and presents her with a folded note, one worn down and torn at the edges. One he probably had never had the intention to send at all. With it unfolded and held high up in her hands to read, she squints over the sloppy handwriting.

The letter is a recounting of all of the things he thought he had seen, dates supplied next to each point on the list. It begins two years prior, where he had jotted down that he thought someone must have left a doll in the house before he moved in, how he saw a tiny thing seated on the windowsill and when he looked back it was entirely gone. A strange occurrence, but not one he put too much thought into.

The list ends when he describes how his eyes had met hers when she watched him from the bookshelf, how he had seen the most beautiful thing alive in just a glimpse before she tucked herself away from him, how he had left the lights on in a small hope that she would realize he wanted to look after her. He just didn’t know how to without scaring her off.

In part, she’s horrified to know that she hadn’t been as sneaky as she once thought. However, what feels more pressing is that he had been worried for her just as she had been for him, that every little detail shared within the list was merely a mirror of her own feelings. The ever-present curiosity and the fear that one day this stranger he shared his home with may not be around any longer.

She gives him a wistful glance before flipping to the next page to continue to where the letter truly begins. It’s pure poetry, the way in which he describes his feelings, prettier than the songs she’s heard sung from the fae housed in riverbeds. He describes his elation upon meeting her, how he would check through the window of the dollhouse bedroom to see her beautiful face in dreaming, how each time they were apart he wanted little more than to return to her and simply hear her tiny voice calling out to him. It says his heart nearly shattered in his chest when he saw the change she had made for him before he realized that she loved him too, that the stuff of the silly fairytales that his oma would read to him all felt real because of her; how unintentionally he believes that she may have saved him.

‘Ich liebe dich.’ is how it ends, and he says the words aloud when her eyes rove over the sentence.

Her hands are shaking when she drops the letter onto her chest, curls her arms around it in the softest hug. Just like before, each word she wishes to say to him dies in her throat. The only difference is that now, her heart feels so full it’s overwhelming; she doesn’t feel small, but larger than even him— a strange sense of pride and fulfillment taking her over.

“I love you, too,” she says after a moment, face warmed and a smile stretching her cheeks. “I’ve always loved you, I think.”

“I know.”

Her mind whirls at that response, uncertain of what to say next. Except, she doesn’t have to speak at all. When a cloud passes, puffed up and brilliant white, shaped like the golden arrow of Cupid himself, she curls against him with her forehead pressed to his. Eyes flutter shut as an arm is dragged over her and a kiss is brushed against the tip of her nose.

[hneedlz]

Hey slushie!!! So I've been feeling really depressed lately... I'd like go request some headcanons of thomas, michael, bo, brahms, Billy, and asa emory (all separate please) of noticing their significant other become really reclusive, not eating, crying randomly in bed but trying to hide it, not really leaving bed and just being mopey and a sad jellybean 🥺 tysm

NOT FEELING GOOD !

Multi-slasher x reader smut

Warnings; mommy said in a non sexual way. Asa emory is not very nice and is a little mean but that's just how he is. Brahms is the one sick, not the reader.

---

THOMAS

He noticed that you quit eating what he's been cooking. Usually you love the food he makes, but for the past couple of days you have declined his offer to join him at the table during dinner.

Until one day out of the many you had told him you "weren't hungry" he came back to your room with his plate and sat down right beside you. "Y/n... please eat a little bit! You usually love my dumplings!" He said petting your hair. He raised the fork to your mouth, and you proudly ate it.

-

Michael

Michael usually would look through your window, but he noticed every time he did you were in bed scrolling on your phone. Or even reading a book. He was worried. He snook in to your house through the front door and silently walked to your room. He knelt on the bed and signed "Get up. I'll make you something to eat while you go take a bath."

-

Bo

"Darlin'.. please get up." Bo said shaking you lightly. Bo let the first two days slide but whenever he noticed that you were being lazy and not taking care of urself he decided to do something about it. He had pre-ran you a bath and put some towels in the makeshift dryer. He picked you up bridal style and began carrying you downstairs to the bath tub.

-

Brahms

You didn't realize whenever brahms was sick he wouldn't take care of himself. Shit he would barely even get up in the morning. You thought that it would just be that 1 day. But it wasn't. He stayed in bed for a whole 3 days, just awake and sleeping around. "Brahms are you okay?" You asked walking toward his bed. "Mommy.. I don't feel good.." he said, turning his head. "Shh it's okay baby. Mommy will make you feel better." "Soup?" "If you want."

-

BILLY

Billy had just came home from the gym. He opened the door and looked in. He stumbled over to the couch you were at and he came across his girlfriend who was feeling unwell. "Whats wrong..." he mumled. You quickly mumbled out "I have had a terrible headache and i am feeling weak, and i judt hurt so bad.." you could barely get a word out without being in distress. Billy immediately noticed how much pain you were in and he decided to just let you rest until you felt better.

-

Asa emory

Asa loved his new pet.. you. He loved taking you out to places until he realized one day you declined his offer to go out and get ice cream with him. It was odd because he knew that ice cream was your favorite treat. He definitely knew something was up. "Y/n. Are you okay?" He said standing over you as you were laying down on your bed. "Please just leave me alone. I don't feel good." "Whatever. I'll go take someone else."