#because hers is seen as a gift (even if misunderstood and abused)

[olderthannetfic]

I've just read an article (in Gazeta Wyborcza) about a very popular series of books among young teens in my country, Poland, called "Rodzina Monet" (Family Monet). The author gained popularity while publishing on Wattpad lol. The article basically said that it's problematic because these books are read by young girls, even 10 years old, and it glorifies violence. Plus it just isn't well written - there were some fragments in the article and yeah it's not well written lmao. A woman in the comments said that her daughter is reading this book and asked if she should forbid it. Since no one answered her, I replied that I don't think forbidding the book is a good solution and suggested talking to her daughter about it, showing her the article and asking what she thinks about it. But I don't know anything more about that situation, for example how old the daughter is. I don't think I'd worry if my child were to read this book, I read trashy stuff too. But I started wondering if maybe there should be some control in such a case? The thing with the books from what I gathered (I haven't read them) is that they are about a 14yo girl, who suddenly lost her mother and grandmother, is sent away to US from Britain where she starts living with her 28yo (handsome) stepbrother and his 3 (also handsome) brothers. She lives in a beautiful villa since the stepbrother is super rich. He's also cold and distant and doesn't understand that she has issues with food (she has some kind of eating disorder). Some of the things he and his 3 brothers do can be described as domestic violence but they apologize, buy her expensive stuff and are all adult handsome men. Yeah it's a young adult fiction. The thing is that it's just not well written so none of the bad behaviours is commented upon.

--

Sounds like typical godawful id trash that people eat up. Making a rule against it will just make it more tantalizing.

It would be far more valuable to kick any worthless partners out of one's life and demonstrate not putting up with shit to a tween girl than to ban her from reading trashy books.

One could always try buying her something better, but IME, people who try that always do it wrong: they buy books that are better written, yes, but the vocabulary and sentence structure are a thousand times harder, there's zero iddy wish fulfillment, and the plot is something fucking depressing and supposedly edifying.

Readers can smell a tryhard "your taste is bad" gift a mile away.

I think it's also important when trying to find replacement trash to understand what the kink actually is. Why is it age gap? Well, have you seen 14-year-olds? They're awkward and covered in zits. Of course the protagonist is young like the readers and the hotties are older.

More importantly, why is it abusive? Absolute idiots will be like "Because society taught girls wah wah wah wah wah", but the actual reason is obvious if you've read trash romance for adults:

It's so the love interest(s) can be in the wrong.

The self inserty protagonist of this type of story has very little power. Not only is she usually younger, but she's poorer, a fish out of water in a new situation, etc. The way she gets power is by the love interest doing something absolutely horrible, realizing they have erred, and then groveling forever. Their guilt is an effective way to manipulate them. And yes, retail therapy is usually the next step from this particular trash classic all the way back to The Flame and the Flower.

You can try giving a teen girl a book about a teen girl action hero who is awesome and whose love interest likes her because of that... But if the reader doesn't feel awesome, she's still going to prefer a book about a loser with a destined, fated love or a misunderstood woobie whom other characters have to grovel to after not initially realizing she was special.

You can't fix self esteem by handing someone a book they don't identify with and telling them their id is wrong. And if self esteem does improve, that doesn't mean the lizard brain is going to switch trash fiction tastes anyway.

One can try leaving other fun books around, but that's about the most that could be helpful.

[makibeni]

Ch. 7 -Someone Waiting for You

Kobeni's hands were wrapped around her drink, locked in a half committed motion, unwilling to bring it to her lips or simply let it go, she stared at the pale white foam. Things weren't going how she'd hoped, she wanted more time to prepare for this but before she had a moment to think Makima had already grabbed her by the hand and pulled her out of her comfort zone. If Kobeni's willpower hadn't have been worn away by walking up to and conversing with her coworkers three separate times that day she may have had just enough left over to sheepishly eek out a vague, non committal rejection. But instead she was here, in a bar after work with Makima, and just Makima, wracking her brain trying to think of what to say to her. It was frustrating, normally she was able to get into a comfortable rhythm with Makima, words seem to flow so naturally between them, it felt like dancing with someone she trusted completely, able to dive with confidence, knowing she'd be swept up and back on her feet. But this was different somehow, she was trying to force herself to speak, to say things without certainty, every breath choked with anxiety, coming out a stumbled, half formed mumble, each failed attempt making the next one seem all the more insurmountable. She didn't want to let this opportunity slip away from her, she had to do something.

"U-um~..."

She tried to meet Makima with her eyes but fell short, barely able to raise her head before feeling the heavy hand of shame push her back down. Was she really this pathetic? Unable to even stammer out a word anymore? She squeezed her fists in a frustrated bout of self directed anger and pouted her lips. Kobeni readied herself for the torrent of abuse her mind was no doubt ready to hurl at her, deservedly so, she thought.

Her eyes went wide and she let out a soft gasp as she felt Makima's hand softly cover her balled up fist reassuringly, a comforting gift of encouragement. It gave Kobeni enough to push past her apprehensions and lock eyes with Makima, who looked back at her with the warmest and most loving smile she'd ever seen. Unable to contain the overflowing tide of emotions, Kobeni's eyes welled up, the dim yellow lights in the bar reflecting through the tears made it seem like a heavenly aura was radiating from Makima, her very own guardian angel. Suddenly she didn't feel that pressure anymore, she finally had someone to help her lift the crushing weight of her worries off her back, someone willing to listen, wanting to help her. What did she do to deserve such kindness?

"I-I'm really sorry m-miss Makima, I wanted to f-find out what kinds of things you l-liked so I could take you s-somewhere you'd have a good t-time, b-but I c... c-couldn't figure out the right words to say or w-what to ask and I was s-s-scared I'd somehow r-ruin things a~and..."

Kobeni swallowed the lump in her throat, hoping that final staggered push had been enough because it was all she had left.

"I see..."

Makima placed her hands under her chin and tilted her head to the side.

"But you really didn't have to go to all that trouble..."

She froze at Makima's words, had she misunderstood her intentions? Did she work herself through all that just to make an even bigger fool of herself?

Then, Makima grabbed Kobeni's hand with both of hers and pulled it close to herself. A few stray tears had escaped Kobeni's eyes and rolled down her cheeks, reflecting in Makima's rippled eyes like twinkling starlight.

"When I said I wanted you to take me somewhere I'd enjoy myself, I simply wanted you to take me somewhere we could spend more time together, the thing I enjoy is being around you"

Kobeni could feel her heart stop when she heard those words, it was something she wanted to hear for so long she didn't even realize it anymore, no, more than that, it was something she needed to hear. Having worn herself out, and feeling like she'd finally found someone who wanted to understand her, Kobeni couldn't contain herself anymore.

"T-than... hank y-yu... s-oh m... m..."

Makima walked over to Kobeni's side of the table and swaddled her with her coat, rubbing comforting circles on her back with one hand and holding onto Kobeni's hand with the other.

"Take as long as you need, I'll be right here for you"

Kobeni wanted to ask why, why was she being so nice to her, so caring, so much more loving than anyone had ever been to her before, but at this point she was truly depleted. Tears streamed down her face as all her pent up emotions came pouring out, and with each pained sob she could feel a weight slowly lifting off her shoulders. She knew that for once, at the end of this long and agonizing road, she'd finally have someone waiting for her.

[burnwater13]

If his “attachment…makes him vulnerable to his fears” then what happens when you have no attachments? Grogu wanted to ask Ahsoka Tano that question. He also wanted to know how she could tell the difference between pain and fear? He knew the pain of loss. The pain of despair. The pain of loneliness. The pain of isolation. But fear? Nope. Grogu was not afraid.

He had a very healthy respect for the fact that he was not the most powerful person in the galaxy. Far from it. He was small. He was misunderstood. He was alone. He had been alone. But when the Mandalorian found him he hadn’t been afraid. He had been curious. Who was willing to risk anything to find him? Why did he matter to a person like that? 

Grogu knew that he could only do what he could do. He didn’t want more power. He wanted more grace. He wanted more kindness. He wanted more friendship. He wanted more love. But only those who lament their lack of power have fear. She could have asked her Master. He was filled with fear and tried everything to gain the power that he thought would help him. 

But power doesn’t lessen fear. It makes it greater, until it overwhelms you. Because you never learn to accept that everyone is limited in some way. Even the Force had limits. It could not create love. It could not stop time. It wasn’t a cure all. Despite the lies every Sith told every other Sith.

Grogu had spent far too much of his life without attachments. Look where it had gotten him! He’d been threatened, kidnapped, abused, and stolen. He’d been traded for power or credits and it always ended in tears. Not his tears mind you but the tears of the people who thought he was somehow a solution to their problems. 

How could he be? Their problems could only be solved when they realized that this moment, right now, this one, was the only moment that mattered. Were they happy right now? Could they smile right now? Could they laugh right now? Could they even appreciated the beauty and vastness of the galaxy that surrounded them and had been gifted to them, right now?  Could they look at another living thing and just be grateful that it existed with them, right now?

Sure, Grogu was attached to the Mandalorian. He was glad the Bounty Hunter had seen something in him and had changed both of their paths for the better. Din Djarin had appreciated that life is short and time is precious and they had this moment to enjoy it and enjoy it they would. And perhaps when Ahsoka had someone in her life who would do the same for her, then she would understand. Attachment gave Grogu hope, not fear. Never fear.

[osir-ethria]

.... Debating on whether or not I should do something other than the Schneeblings...

Well here’s another thing about them anyway.

Whitley loves fashion and designing with a much more creative aspect to clothing. Jacques however found out and called it far to feminine and that he should be focusing business and other things (minus fighting).

Winter would always let Whitley choose the dress she would wear to business meeting with Jacques and tell him about the guests reactions and how many compliments she got because of his choice. She did this in the form of a letter that Klein would hand Whitley because if she was seen anywhere near Whitley he would be reprimanded by their father. She’d first give him a list on what the event was about, how she was to be represented, and if Jacques was there to enjoy himself a little or purely just business.

This helped Whitley with his look when he went out on formal events and got to choose. (This is me saying please change his outfit for once. Maybe inspired by Weiss?)

Even though Winter never directly told Weiss but Whitley was the one who designed her outfits minus the Volume 7 one... I’d have to say Weiss looks good but like, the pounds of hair in that braid is unnecessary. She has a lot of hair but why make it not proportional to the rest of the head. Other than that she actually picked up a few things from Whitley just by studying what she’s been wearing.

After the half of the group that got to Vacuo arrives at the main kingdom they need new gear. The Atlas gear is going to give them a heat stroke. They are trying to decide what to do and they see an obviously emotionally unavailable Winter write a few things down, hand it to Whitley, and tells him to go all out.

Later she explains the whole fashion thing with them and tells them that if they’d trust him with their outfit designs to just list necessities, color schemes, any requirements that’ll help with how they fight, and what style of clothing they are comfortable or uncomfortable with. When Whitley receives these papers from the group he starts crying, they aren’t seeing it as weird and actually trust him with it. Remember, Jacques hated this side of Whitley.

Whitley works with Pietro to design the new gear and everyone loves it. Comfortable, looks good, and does its job. I also remember that the Schnee dust company doesn’t only have dust mines in Atlas even though it was the majority, there are some all over Remnent. (This is from the World of Remnent episode Rooster Teeth did about the Schnee Dust Company.) The Schnees however stay with the refugees instead of going somewhere else so they can help them. They also have enough money to help provide for the refugees like buying tents, getting food and water, and any other necessity. Whitley gets a good feeling from helping and not keeping it all to himself.

Whitley better ask Winter to train him or Winter forcefully teaches him because she can’t handle losing another sibling. This is just with a sword he hasn’t gotten his semblance yet.

He’s smarter than a lot think he should be, the only thing that’s stopping him from being a huntsman is how young he is, like I would prefer if he was around Oscar’s age, and he’s not of the physical or aura capability of a huntsman. You could argue Jaune was like that but Jaune was of the age to go to beacon, had a weapon, and was physically fit to the point he could play it off as maybe going to the school. The only thing he was lacking was skill which was remedied by Pyrrha.

Whitley hasn’t had any of that but I wouldn’t doubt that he’d be a good fit. I can imagine him trying to use his left hand but it doesn’t work out so he forces himself to switch and it works but he wanted to use his left hand for that. He’s not as nimble as Weiss but more so than Winter so he’s slowly forming into a mix. Best part would be he keeps his sarcastic attitude and teasing only being serious in serious situations.

I think all Schnees are brutally honest with everything but understand and feel bad when they hurt someone who hasn’t done anything bad to them or has gotten on their nerves. If they are misunderstood for what they say and they know it wouldn’t be easy to understand said topic they go soft and attempt to explain, Winter and Penny at the Schnee manor in Vol 7.

I also like to think that each of them are slightly gifted in the others area of art. Whitley is better with design, art, and visual concepts.

Weiss is better musical and hearing as well as being able to take quickly to anything she was forced to learn by Jacques or genuinely wanted to know. Weiss and Whitley also share common interest in design from a mathematical stand point because it gets their motors going which was derived from Jacques trying to control them and force how they think, what they do, and what’s going on.

Winter is more about art through movement. She taught Weiss how to dance and is probably the only person who could stand a chance against Yang with Martial Arts. With her being the most controlling of her emotions she could easily do acting which she was forced to do while in school before Atlas Academy.

Whitley learnt how to play the piano from Weiss with videos Klein recorded where Weiss explained how to play. This was an assignment by Jacques to prove she was practicing but Whitley caught them once and asked Klein if he could see the videos. Jacques thought he had the natural talent for the piano, nah he just practiced a lot with Weiss’s help.

Winter hasn’t listened to any of Weiss’ personal songs. By personal I mean the RWBY soundtracks. I head canon that those songs are Weiss describing their journey and how she believes their friends, enemies, and family feels.

I like the idea that Weiss’s songs were used as protest. Now Winter has heard a few she just never put two and two together that that was Weiss singing since she always had a soft pitched opera voice. Well not until she heard someone in the refugee camp blast This Life Is Mine which included the more opera segment. That broke Winter. The idea was on a head canon post but I forgot the name and I’ve liked to many posts to the point I doubt I’ll find it.

Whitley got two copies of Weiss’s songs, using a bit of money for himself and Winter there, and as a bonding activity between them and if they ever feel stressed listen to her music and voice. This is how Whitley realized that Jacques had been lying to him about his sisters just abandoning him and not caring for him at all that they left him, but rather Jacques pulled him away from Winter to ensure he wouldn’t end up like Weiss. This Life Is Mine hits close to Whitley as for Winter as much as she agrees with Whitley that it hits close she knows that Weiss’s song Path to Isolation hits more for her.

Weiss had managed to submit War, Until The End, and Fear to the people who published her songs before everything the evacuation using Pietro. Pietro questioned why and she just gave a quick summary, not explaining everything but just enough. Those publishers got though the portals and with the help of Whitley and the Schnee money got Weiss’s ‘final’ track out.

The songs are played everyday which was new for the Atlesians that survived compared to the survivors in Mantle. No one expected Weiss to be so defiant and see how abusive Jacques was to her and which they can assume the rest of the family. How they weren’t picture perfect.

......... I should stop now. Written to much again. I’ll most likely try to find the post with the idea that Weiss’s song were used as songs of retaliation in Mantle. If I do I’m going to reboot it so here me go, deep diving.

[lucisfavoritedemon]

Teen Reader x Avengers x Deadpool

Reader is in a teen version of the icebox because they got caught stealing with their powers (orphaned). The reader has masterd their Teleportation, telekinesis, and healing abilities. When Wade and Russell comes to the prison they start a start a prison riot/escape with the reader. (Think Black ops 1) The reader decides to finally escape the Icebox by starting a prison riot/escape. The reader then escapes they change their clothes and then hop a train going to Denver. The reader gets a job on a farm. Years later the Avengers decide to come on the farm the r is working on, undercover (disguise) to each "buy a horse." However, their plan fails and all of them gets into a fight with the r. The r loses but they join the Avengers with their powers 

Pairing: Teen reader x Avengers x Deadpool (platonic of course)

Warnings: angst, violence, anxiety, cute connection with animals

Word Count: 1398

A/N: requested by @lunchawx. I hope this is what you were looking for. I haven't seen Deadpool in a while so I'm a little rusty in writing the character, but I hope you like it. Sorry it's also so short. All mistakes are mine.

Enjoy!

I sat in my cell wondering how I even got here. Oh wait, it was because I decided to go against my gut feeling, and my friend’s advice, and used my abilities to steal. I just wanted to prove that I wasn’t just some silly, no good orphan. Turns out that’s all I might ever be to society. Now I’m sitting in a high security cell, and bored out of my mind. 

I thought it was going to be a normal day where I would be let out of my cell to eat then go right back inside. That was till I met these two guys, they talked to me while I ate, telling me of a plan to break out of there.

“Alright, I’m listening.”

“I’m Wade by the way, and this is Russell.” One of the men said.

“I’m Y/n.”

They went over the plan, and I knew it was full proof. They had no idea who they were talking to. I guess the guards underestimated me, and my abilities. The plan was in place, all we had to do was execute it.

The next few days went by as normal. I ate my first meal in my cell, and lunch was with the other inmates. I hung around Wade and Russell while I was out of my cell every chance I got. The guards didn’t think twice about my quick connection to these two new inmates. 

Last meal I ate was always in my cell by choice, but on the day we decided to execute the plan I told the guard that I wanted to eat with the other inmates. He allowed it, and didn’t question me. Little did he know what would soon go down. 

I sat with Wade and Russell like I did at lunch time. This time though, they started a fight with another inmate. Russell continued to fight the others, and Wade turned to me nodding for me to get away as all the guards on duty came running to stop the fighting. I ran as fast as I could. I ran to a closet where the extra guard uniforms were kept. I took one, though I knew it probably would fit properly, but I had to get out somehow. 

I kept walking, and headed for the exit of the prison. A guard started to walk up to me asking for my identification due to the riot going on in the mess hall. I read his mind to find a guard who I knew usually got off duty around this time. I then corrupted his thoughts into thinking that I was this guard, and he let me through. 

I walked out, and immediately headed for the train station. I picked the first train out and saw that the next train was leaving in 10 minutes for Denver. I hopped on and was on my way to Colorado. 

As soon as I got to Colorado, I asked around to see who would be willing to hire a 17 year old. One person was very helpful and told me about a very nice farm on the plains that was looking for help. I hitchhiked my way out of the city and headed to the plains to find this farm.

“I want to see how well you work with the animals first before we discuss anything further.” The farmer stated.

I completely understood that. He didn’t want someone who was going to hurt his animals, he wanted someone who was in it for more than just the money. I walked up to one of the more wild horses, according to the farmer, I put my hand out, sending the horse a calming feeling. It let me touch it, and pet it. This astonished the farmer.

“I have yet to be able to lay a finger on him. He came from an abuse case that animal control brought to me.”

I smiled as I kept petting him, “he’s very sweet. He’s just scared that people will hurt him again.”

“You can tell that just by touching him?”

“I can read his body language too, but yeah. He is just scared. That’s all.”

The farmer smiled at me, “you have a real gift. You’re hired. I’ll show you to your room.”

~*~

It’s been almost 4 years since I started working here. I have helped rehabilitate and rehome almost 100 horses, and each month we get more and more. Today I had a whole group of people coming by to look at the new rehabilitated horses. I was sad to see that the horse, Hades, that got me the job in the first place was part of the group of horses being looked at.

I was brushing him out when a couple of cars drove up to the property. I just kept working as the farmer showed them around. The group consisted of five males and one female which I found oddly strange, but I didn’t question it. Then came time for them to look at the horses.

“Y/n here will show you the best candidates, but I’ll start with Hades here. He was a very abused horse brought here four years ago from an abuse/hoarding case. Y/n here has been working really hard on getting him to warm up to people.” The farmer spoke, before leaving me to introduce the rest of the horses.

“Hades is a special horse to me. He is the reason I am here, and not in the prison system. He’s a good horse, but misunderstood.”

“Kind of like you huh?” A tall, muscular, short blond haired man spoke up.

“I guess.”

Hades suddenly rears up in fear, but also as a warning. He knew these people weren’t really here to buy horses. They were looking for me. I shoved them all away with my powers and hopped on Hades. Two of the men recovered quickly and hopped on two of the other horses and raced after me. One of them seemed to know how to work a lasso, and roped me off. 

I fell to the ground face first. The other hogtied me to keep me there. “I haven’t done anything wrong! I’ve lived a quiet life!”

“You have powers that you don’t understand kid.” The blond guy spoke.

“Maybe we could use them rather than send them back?” The man wearing sunglasses questioned.

“Tony, the mission was to find the kid and bring them back, not recruit them.”

“I got that Cap, but they seem to be doing good in the world. Maybe we could use them.”

“I could be of help. I can read minds and even corrupt. I also can heal if that’s a selling point, but whatever you decide I want to bring Hades with, but I don't want to back to prison.” I spoke up, trying to convince them to recruit me rather than send me back to prison.

Tony looked at this Cap guy. Then Cap spoke up, “fine, but you gotta prove this criminal past is behind you.”

“I’ve been here for four years enjoying the peace and quiet. Isn’t that proof enough?”

“They have a point.” Tony stated.

“Fine. I’m Steve, and that’s Tony by the way. The curly haired man over there is Bruce. The man with the long blond hair is Thor, yes the god. The woman is Natasha but we all call her Nat, and the man standing next to her is Clint.”

“Nice to meet you all I guess. Do you mind untying me please?” I ask very politely.

“Oh sorry kid. We just wanted to be sure you weren’t going to run away.” Tony spoke up, sounding truly sorry.

“It’s fine. I get it. So, was that a yes on me keeping the horse?”

“I don’t mind. Cap?”

“If you really want to, I don’t mind. We have plenty of space for it back in New York. Plenty of land at least.”

“Thank you, and I won’t disappoint.”

“Alright then, kid. Welcome to the Avengers!” Tony smiled, untying, then walking me over to the others.

I hoped my life would be different, and much better than it started out. I had a second chance to make things right, and I finally felt like I could belong somewhere. A place where I didn’t feel out of place. Somewhere with others just like me.

[enneagramwingmiranda]

Stranger Things: The actual enneagram types of Mike, Lucas, Dustin, Will, Eleven, and Max

The Lover: Mike Wheeler [Type 2]

“El, are you there? El? It’s me, it’s Mike. It’s day 352, 7:40 pm, I am still here. If you’re out there, say something… or give me a sign, I won’t, I won’t even say anything, I just… I want to know if you’re okay.”

Enneagram wing: 2w1|2w3 (Helper along with the reformer and achiever)

Core Desire: To feel loved, needed, and appreciated

Core Fear: Being rejected, unwanted and unneeded

Mike is a loyal to a fault going through great lengths to be there for his friends. He was willing to sacrifice himself off a cliff to protect Dustin. He never gave up pursing justice for Will. He also hid Eleven in his home despite the repercussions he may face with his parents and the evil scientists. The hidden motivation behind his actions are to be needed, loved, and wanted. He is very good at intuiting others needs as we see this in his close friendship with Will in season 2 and in his blossoming relationship with Eleven. He sees the good in others and is very trusting which Lucas, a type 6, doesn’t quite understand. He often asserts himself in situations where he is not needed and we see this become a conflict in his relationship with Eleven in season 3. We see him often go into an 8 in stress where he becomes aggressive, outspoken, dominating, and advocating for justice. I believe he leans on both of his wings equally; he shows to have a strong sense of right and wrong but also a innate desire to succeed, be admired, and respected. 

The Intuitive One: Will Byers [Type 4]

"Sometimes the bad guys are smart too."

Enneagram wing: 4w5 (Individualist along with the investigator)

Core Desire: Being accepted for one’s uniqueness 

Core Fear: Being inherently flawed, inadequate, or mundane

Will is the stand out of the bunch not just because of his strong introversion but also his imaginative mind and artistic hobbies. He has never been interested in what his age group has been interested in therefore he is misunderstood by his peers. He also lacked a strong father figure and this has resulted in deep feelings of inadequacy. He desires to be seen and understood by others and it doesn’t help his case that he “died” and lived to tell the tale. I’m hoping to see Will grow more into himself in the upcoming seasons because he is a valuable and important character. His link to the Upside Down proves that. I think he leans on his wing 5 for his intellectual hobbies. 

The Defender: Eleven [Type 9]

“I’m going to my friends. I’m going home.”

Enneagram wing: 9w8 (Peacemaker along with the challenger)

Core Desire: Inner peace and human connection

Core Fear: Instability and separation

Contrary to the life she’s had and the chaotic situations she constantly finds herself in, Eleven is 100% motivated by having inner peace. She is very much values her friends and adoptive family and leans on her wing 8 to protect them. She is a very complex character and this is clearly from the emotional and physical trauma she suffered in her childhood; she is tough but also extremely empathetic and has has the ability to see things objectively rather than emotionally (a true gift of a 9). This is shown in her choosing to spare one of the scientist’s life from Brenner’s lab despite his contribution to her abuse and Eight (Kali) pressuring her to show no mercy. She empathized with Billy and his abuse despite him being a raging bully. 

The Safeguard: Lucas Sinclair [Type 6]

“We have a lot of rules in our party, but the most important is, 'Friends don't lie.' Never ever. No matter what.”

Enneagram wing: 6w5 | 6w7 (Loyalist along with investigator and enthusiast)

Core Desire: To have security

Core Fear: Being without security

Lucas has demonstrated an innate maturity since season 1. He pushes others to practice self preservation. He likes to have a plan in their action and adventure. Lucas is motivated by his desire to be safe so he calls out others in their stupor, so much so, that his friends are nervous to confess their mistakes to him; this clashes with Mike’s agenda as his need to serve, love, and be there for others. Mike’s potential to be compromised by rose colored glasses, poses as a threat to Lucas’s need for security. Max makes it harder for him in achieving security by constantly raising the bar him in their relationship. Despite this, Max’s challenging nature is what is most attractive to him because it somewhat alludes to security. I think Lucas has balanced wings and draws from his intellectual side as well as his adventurous side. 

The Analyst: Dustin Henderson [Type 5]

“You always say we should never stop being curious, to always open any curiosity door we find. Why are you keeping this curiosity door locked?”

Enneagram wing: 5w6 (Investigator along with loyalist)

Core Desire: To be capable and competent 

Core Fear: Annihilation, depletion, and being viewed as lacking in capability

Dustin is the clear intellect of the Stranger Kids clan. He is always learning and storing information, mentally retrieving it up when necessary. He is essentially the one who makes the needed mental connections in their quest for victory. He is awkwardly confident yet insecure. He cares a lot about what others think of him and is motivated by a need to be seen as competent. Dustin’s friends mean the world to him and valuing that security from this support/community shows that leans on his wing 6. 

The Advocate: Max Mayfield [Type 8]

“It's just, I know I can be a jerk like him sometimes, and I do not want to be like him. Ever.”

Enneagram wing: 8w7 | 8w9 (Challenger along with enthusiast and the peacemaker)

Core Desire: Self protection and protecting my people

Core Fear: Being weak, powerless, and controlled 

Max is the toughest one of the bunch with almost bully-like qualities. She marches to the beat of her own drum and doesn’t care what other people think. Her character flaw is that she can be too careless sometimes at the expense of others. She is self aware of that though and does her best to combat it. She is motivated by a need to protect herself because no one ever protected her against the abuse of her brother and step-father. Despite her tough act, she cares deeply for her friends and will do whatever she can to protect them too; She is willing to be vulnerable to bond with them. She does not show to lean on either wing making me think she has balanced wings. She definitely doesn’t like to commit too quickly to anything and keep her options open (7) but also can try her best to mediate (9) when this is required of her. 

Note: In honor of Stranger Things 4 possibly coming out in 2021. See my typing of the Stranger Things adults here: https://enneagramwingmiranda.tumblr.com/post/639047330136522752/stranger-things-the-actual-enneagram-types-of

[emerald-amidst-gold]

A little exercise (Part 1/?)

(I’m trying out a new process to help me with my writing and to get me out of the block I’m currently in. I find that analyzing preexisting personalities and ones of my own devising help me better understand how characters will interact in my writing. So, I started small and outlined some of Fane’s major relationships. I’m eventually going to go down the whole list from family to Inquisition members, but right now, I just focused on family.)

Relationships:

“Friendships are like roses; you tend to their delicate petals, nurture their roots, and provide them with water, sunshine, and fertile soil to keep them satisfied, all so they may flourish with life and love. But what happens when the rose bush flowers from an innocent bud to a crimson bloom, bringing thorns in its wake? You bleed, you hurt, and you regret ever planting the seeds. So, do I desire a literal garden of people with thorns as sharp as glass? Not at all.”- Fane Lavellan regarding companionship

Clan Lavellan:

“Fane is brash, volatile, and temperamental at the best of times, Spymaster. You do not wish to see him at his worst. Many of our clan and the outlying forests have been met with his ire. Even so, he is not a bad child. None of his actions are vindictive or of ill intentions. Fane is simply misunderstood, like so many others. So, if you must demand more of him, then you must tread lightly. That is my advice to you and your Inquisition.” - an excerpt from a letter from Keeper Deshanna sent to Haven after the explosion at the Conclave regarding Fane’s demeanor

Fane is exceedingly slow to warm up to people, even with those of his own kind. Among Clan Lavellan, Fane was seen as an anomaly; his two toned eyes and stark white hair breeding fear and wariness in his clan members, as well as his unusual physique. What’s more, many of the clan avoided him for fear of triggering his volatile rage which, when at its peak, would render aravels or trees completely obliterated. So, as far as friends go, Fane never had many among his clan; only communicating with his sister, and at times, the Keeper. Fane’s disinterest in cultivating relationships also stems from his desire to keep the evidence of his father’s abuse away from prying eyes and ears. This did not stop him from attempting to bridge the gap between him and his people, however. At a young age, Fane proved to be an adept hunter; stealthy and graceful despite his hulking frame. Sadly, his effectiveness to provide did not win the hearts of his clan, since many of Fane’s methods were unorthodox to the Dalish. When such a simple attempt was ineffective, Fane took one last step to try and wedge himself into belonging; his vallaslin. Despite not believing in any of the elven gods (another pit that distanced him from the Dalish, as Fane is and was not shy to voice his opinions regarding them), Fane opted to have the vallaslin of Sylaise tattooed onto his face at the age of sixteen; only a year after his father’s magical experiments on his body began. Once again, this did not do what Fane had hoped for, since the ritual and implementation of the tattoos barely registered a flinch or grimace from the elf; his mind and body already so scarred and traumatized by the use of magic and physical tools that Fane merely viewed the sacred act as another experiment in which his father’s rules of “No crying, no screaming, no telling anyone” played on repeat within his head. Due to that stoicism, his clansmen simply began to view him as unfeeling and cold, some going so far as to call him a ‘snowy haired demon’. From that point on, Fane severed all association with his clan, and attempts to win favor were replaced with complete indifference. Interactions were kept to scouting missions and group hunts, and such things like gatherings or holidays, Fane spent either alone within the forest or with his sister. It may have been this rift of association that spurred the Keeper into choosing Fane for the mission to spy on the Conclave, or perhaps it was a way to help both Fane and the clan from anymore turmoil. However, when the explosion at the Conclave completely shifts his small world on its axis, Fane is more or less forced to traverse a battlefield in which he is outnumbered in both strength and personalities.

Mhairi Lavellan (Sister):

“First mother, then father..I can’t lose you, too, brother. I have no one else besides you for family.”

“Hmph, don’t be so dramatic, My. Even if something were to happen to me, the clan would still be here for you. The clan’s your family as much as I am.”

“The clan is your family, too, brother. Why do you think they don’t care for you like I do?”

“Because they don’t. I’m a monster, remember? They’re all probably breathing a sigh of relief that I’m leaving.”

“Would you stop that?! You’re one of the people just like any of the others! More than that, you’re my brother! So, don’t talk as if you’re nothing. You are everything to me, Fane. Everything and more.” - a conversation between Mhairi and Fane before he leaves for the Conclave.

Mhairi and Fane’s relationship is much like any siblings; occasional bickering, unconditional love, and patience with each other’s oddities. However, unlike most siblings, whose likeness of personalities tends to breed contempt, Fane and Mhairi are, by all means, anathema to each other. Oil and water. Fire and ice. The sun and moon. All these things describe the two’s odd relationship. Fane, while holding a deep well of his love for his sister, has difficulty showing such platonic feelings, opting for simply watching Mhairi with an attentive eye and merely giving stern guidance to the younger when necessary. Whereas Mhairi is more bubbly and easygoing, wishing to help her brother bridge the gap that he had created with the clan and constantly reasserting to him that he is loved and cherished. Such attempts at reconciliation have only thus far vexed Fane, but the message from his sister is not lost, even if he does not outwardly show it. However, like with the rest of the clan, Fane has kept the actions of their father a secret from Mhairi; the only secret he has ever kept from his sister (besides the information of him being a dragon. Fane himself is unaware of his heritage until after Adamant. Even after he understands this information, he does not tell her until at least around the time of the Exalted Council.). Fane has gone to great lengths to keep the brutal past of his abuse from his sister. Such actions include: hiding his acute sensitivity to magic, which is the hardest since Mhairi is a mage, his night terrors that leave him sweating and hyperventilating in the morning, avoiding any and all physical contact from his sister or others since his body still harbors phantasmal pains from the abuse, and dismissing any questions or concerns from his sister when she zeroes in on his pain. Despite these actions on his part, Fane still gives in to his sister if she is particularly persistent or if she is on the verge of tears. In these moments, Fane will endure the pain on his body for a light hug or give a vague response to a question of concern. In conjunction, Mhairi is always trying to find ways to bring back the person her brother was before the experiments began, much to Fane’s dismay. She will oftentimes gift him with sentimental items such as; flowers (primarily Gladiolus since it is a flower the two have an emotional attachment to), handmade pendants, a history book (knowing that he is secretly curious of outside society), and his favorite foods (mainly chocolates). All attempts are usually met with soft refusal or awkward shuffling on Fane’s part, but internally, the misunderstood elf screams with joy every time such a thing is bestowed upon him by his sister. 

Eloris Lavellan (Mother):

“Cerulean eyes like the deep lakes in the forest. Sunlight glistening off of golden strands like wheat. Shimmering, rippling across the surface with gentle strokes. Calm and patient even when I’d yell. Never scolding. Never hating. Her words hang upon my mind like her hand when she would guide my own across the page. ‘A summer breeze. A winter’s gale. All things are natural if you allow them to unveil.’ Her words. Her lesson. ..You were angry?”

“Yes, I was. I can’t even remember why now. But, she told me it was nothing to be ashamed of. She said all emotions were natural just like the wind and trees. I just had to..let them out.”

“Who was she?”

“..My mother, and that is all I’m saying about it.” - a discussion between Fane and Cole about Fane’s mother. 

Fane’s memory of the relationship with his mother, Eloris, is one of the few things he cherishes, and is one of many things he does not openly share, even with Mhairi. Before she died of a wasting disease when Fane was fifteen, Eloris guided Fane throughout his earlier years, teaching him how to write in both the common tongue and elven, as well as speak and read. Fane describes her as ‘the gentlest soul upon a fragile landscape’ since never once did she harshly scold him or yell in anger at his prickly demeanor, which Fane had even as a child. Instead, Eloris taught Fane the wrongness of his actions with poetry. After outbursts or moments of frustration, Eloris would sit with Fane under a tree or in a clearing, and simply read to him, recounting tales and lessons through elegant scripture. Such a technique had oddly proved effective, calming Fane and cementing delicate lessons of patience and open mindedness, that to this day, while slightly more difficult for him to keep, still connect him with his deceased mother. These tiny memories of his mother’s poetry were something that helped Fane through much of his father’s abuse. So much so, that Fane himself began writing and collecting different forms of poetry after his father’s disappearance, and throughout his time with the Inquisition. This odd fixation also reflects in Fane’s way of speaking, and sometimes his versed tongue has to be deciphered by someone more familiar with him or those who understand cryptic dialogue. At times, it even causes him frustration. Even so, Fane keeps the memory of his mother with him wherever he goes, and secretly endeavors to keep the promise that he made to her. The promise to protect their family, no matter the cost.

(I’m still working on Fane’s father, so he might be the last one I touch on in the list. Anyways, this is just a little exercise to finally cement Fane’s overall character. All of the dialogue is just stuff I thought up on the fly, so take it with a grain of salt in reference to canon.)

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #315

“can’t breathe to scream  /  suffocating in this dream  /  long way down”

Who was your first big crush? I would probably say this guy in high school named Sebastian. We sat beside each other in Art, and I definitely liked him a lot. Man, my freshman-sophomore years honestly involved a handful of crushes before Jason popped into the picture and I lost all romantic interest in everyone else. Where was the first place you drove after you got your license? N/A Is it a blue sky outside right now? No. All North Carolina has known for weeks on end now is rain. We've had very rare sunny days, but for the most part, it's just gray and gross. Was your last breakup a bad one? Nah, I'd say it ended maturely and with a mutual understanding of "why." When was the last time you were surprised, in a pleasant way? Hell if I know. Is there an ice-cream flavor that you strongly dislike? Which one? Yeah, like strawberry. What was the last sitcom you watched? No clue. ^ Do you have a favorite character in that sitcom? Why is that character your favorite? N/A What does the last group you joined on Facebook concern? I am 90% sure it was this group I joined that is literally just about cute yet dangerous animals lmao, mostly reptiles and invertebrates. "Misunderstood biteybois and where to befriemd them" or some stupid shit like that. Has there been a spider in your house at any time recently? Not that I've seen, no. Do you like wearing make-up? Not at all. I only like wearing it for pictures and then taking that shit off. ^ If so, how old were you when you first started to wear it? I started consistently wearing it my freshman year of high school. Then some time later I just showed up one day without any, shocked all my friends, and then only wore it when I felt like it. What foods are you craving lately, if any? Nothing, really. What were some of your favorite foods as a child? Chicken nuggets of course, as well as spaghetti, peanut butter sandwiches, just the typical stuff that kids tend to enjoy. When you were younger, did you ever have a friend that your parents hated? No. Have you ever talked in your sleep before? That's very normal for me, especially now that I have nightmares like every goddamn night. What was the last song you heard, that reminded you of someone? Well, not a real someone, but "The Ordinary World" by the Hit House is 110% one of Fetch's soon-to-be themes. What has brought you joy today? Nothing brought me "joy," really. When was the last time you won a prize in a raffle? What was it? I actually recently won an art rafle on deviantART hosted by a truly amazing artist, like I thought I had no chance, and she's going to be drawing Moondust!!!! :'''') What is the next non-essential item that you intend to buy for yourself? I'm still paying the bulk of my tattoo in May. Is there anywhere in your town/city that's rumored to be haunted? Oh, I'm sure. When you were younger, did you ever think that a certain place was haunted? Bitch I still do lmao. What were your school meals like? Did you enjoy them? This really depended on the menu for the day. My school lunches were nowhere near as bad as some people make theirs sound, but most things still weren't great. I think school pizzas are the most notoriously bad. What kind of granola bar did you eat most recently? I had a cashew bar earlier today. Do you have any books on your shelf that you've read multiple times? I never reread books. What did your last post on social media concern? That I personally wrote, something regarding subtle racism still being racism, pretty much. How do you feel about people using graphic images as a scare tactic to promote their beliefs? (i.e.: PETA, abortion…) I have mixed feelings on this. Like sometimes seeing the brutal side of certain things is definitely useful in opening someone's mind to things they don't want to see/think about, but then there's that, too: it can just be so invasive and unexpected, and thus very upsetting and even scarring. I'd say I'm most for the "appropriate" social media route: using censorship that the viewer can decide whether or not to remove. But you obviously can't do that in like, a public protest with a sign, so idk. Which is harder for you: writing creatively or academically? Honestly, both are pretty easy for me. I enjoy writing creatively far more, though. Do you think gender neutral bathrooms are a good idea? I think it's fine to have them as an option. When was the last time you voluntarily went outside of your comfort zone? Just talking about stuff in group therapy recently. Would you ever use a dating site that costs money, like Match.com or eHarmony? Have you known anyone who had good experience with such sites? No, and yes. Do you think it’s fair that people are able to make a reasonable salary and live comfortable lives just by making YouTube videos? Yes? It takes charisma and talent in some area (humor, education, etc.) as well as consistency for it to be a reliable career, and just consider how often you hear about creators burning out. That happens for a reason. Entertainment is a valid job category and should not be seen as an unfair joke. Whether you’re in college or not, do you become fearful about whether or not you’ll find a good job? Story of my life. What is something you can only understand if you've experienced it first hand? Deep heartbreak. Do you think it's a double standard that a woman can hit a man and expect to get away with it, but if a man hits a woman it's assault? Obviously. Abuse knows no gender, and hitting another person is just that. I do, however, believe in self-defense, also regardless of gender. In terms of a wedding, put these things in order from what would be MOST important to be perfect, to LEAST important... Engagement ring, dress, hair, venue, ceremony, food, pictures, decorations, honeymoon. This requires too much thinking, haha... but I do know the quality of my honeymoon would be most important to me, given that that's personal time with my new spouse and not a public celebration. I feel like what goes on behind closed doors is more important and heartfelt than how you act publicly. Do you have a go-to small talk conversation topic? Probably video games or music, idk. Define "small talk." Does anyone owe you money? Do you owe anyone money? (Besides credit cards) Mom does. She just a few days ago had to borrow $100 for rent. If someone was going to buy you any practical gift (anything except a house or car), what would you choose? It'd be dope as fuck if someone could pay for Venus' next terrarium, but that's a big purchase that I'd have a hard time accepting. How many people do you know with the same first name as you? At least one, but her name is spelled differently. What in your opinion is the best love song ever written? I'm not sure, but I can tell you that "When It's Love" by Van Halen has always been high on the list for me. Was your mother married when she had you? No, actually. I thought she was until my most recent bday, I think. It was just part of a conversation. How old was the first person you kissed? He was a few months into 18. The first person you were in a relationship with, do you still care about them? Of course, he's a sweet guy. We don't talk or anything, but that doesn't mean I don't care about him. Has anyone ever sang to you? Yes. So, what if you married the last person you kissed? That'd be pretty rad. What are you listening to at the moment? "Long Way Down" from the The Evil Within soundtrack. It's funny, like I've loved the game for many years, but I'm now in a serious semi-obsession phase after watching another let's play of it. Have you read the The Hunger Games trilogy? I only read the first book. I loved it, but just never continued. What is your boss’ (or school prinicpal’s) name? N/A Who is the person you dislike the most? That I personally know, probably a former best friend, oddly enough. Do you text your parents often? If Mom's not home, it's not unusual for us to text. I don't text my dad much because he's not a fan of texting. Do you watch YouTube videos often? Pretty much always. Do you know anyone with celiac disease? Sara, my aunt, and my cousin. Those are the ones I know of, anyway. Do you currently have any alarms set? No. How many cars can fit in your driveway? Barely even two. If someone else is here, they usually just park where the road meets the sidewalk of the cul-de-sac. Do you have the ashes of a family member or a pet? Of my dog Teddy, yes. Have you ever been involved in a car crash? Yes, as a kid. Do you prefer flash or no flash on a camera? Definitely no flash. It's more natural, and especially with people, it obviously prevents red eye. How often do you use hashtags? Just about never. Have you ever had whiplash before? No. Have you ever given another person or an animal a bath before? Pets, yes. I could never bathe another human. Is there a birdbath in your yard? No. Weirdest place you’ve ever had a cramp? Nowhere weird, I think... How many lamps are in the room you’re in? How many are actually turned on? Technically three, if you count my snake's heat lamp. Right now that's the only light that's on. Are there any activities you enjoy doing, but can only do for a short amount of time before you get bored or tired of them? Yeah, reading comes to mind first. Is there anything coming out soon (books, albums, movies, video games) that you're looking forward to? I'm not up-to-date on this stuff at all, not even video games. What is something someone recommended to you that you disliked/hated? I know Girt's recommended me music I haven't been a fan of. We like the same general stuff, but there are specific sub-genres we differ in opinion about. Can you unwrap a Starburst in your mouth? ... There are people who do this to even know in the first place??? What is the last thing you ate? Popcorn. Who is your favorite person to spend time with? Sara. Do you know how to grill a steak? I don't know how to cook, period. Do you have a large dog? We don't have a dog currently, but Mom is looking for one pretty intently. We don't know the size it'll end up being. Do you like walking places? Absolutely not. I can't walk far at all without my legs starting to scream at me because leading such a sedentary lifestyle led to muscle atrophy in my legs. It's incredibly embarrassing. Are you a fan of bands most people don’t know of? That's not uncommon for me. Have you ever sent an X-Rated picture to someone? No. Do you think your voice is higher or lower than average? It's deeper than the average woman's. Do you have a pool? No, but I really, really want one... Given how easily I sweat, I would love to use swimming to strengthen my legs. I could also stop the very moment I feel I need to; it in general sounds like something I could quite easily do. How many times have you been on a plane? Ummm including the trips going back, at least six times. Favorite ice cream flavor? Oh my gooooood, if you haven't tried Ben & Jerry's "phish food"... fucking try that shit. It is innnnnncredible. Do you have a TikTok? Nope. Do you enjoy driving? Fuck no I don't. Your favorite store as a teen? Hot Topic was and still is my fave, ha. Favorite YouTuber? There's this one called Markiplier that I think's pretty cool. How many online accounts do you have? A LOT. My whole life is essentially on the computer, so... .-. Do you tend to always be in some sort of drama? Quite the opposite. Do you collect quarters from every state? No. When was the last time your living room furniture was rearranged? Not since we moved into this place. When you were little did you like watching Cartoon Network, Disney or Nickelodeon more? Disney probably topped Nickelodeon. I didn't watch much CN. Who was the last person to kiss you on the cheek? Either my niece or nephew when saying bye. Have you ever seen a magic show? Yes, as a kid. I even had a magician for my bday once. When was the last time you vomited and why? It's been a year or so. It would've been a side effect of starting a certain med that I didn't stay on because it so consistently made me sick. Where do you usually sit when you eat dinner? Either in my bed (I know) or at the dinner table if Nicole is here to eat with us. What time do you usually go to sleep at night? It's typically around 7:30-8:30, occasionally a bit later. I can't believe as a teen, it was my "rule" that I couldn't go to sleep before 10:30 because it was "too early." Nowadays, I can barely imagine regularly staying up that late. Do you avoid using public restrooms? As best as I can. I've seen some nasty shit. What’s your favorite type of cookie? Chocolate chip. How basic.

[aion-rsa]

Cruella: Does Every Villain Need a Sympathetic Origin Story?

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Clearly this isn’t your parents’ Cruella De Vil. This isn’t even your Cruella De Vil. However, there is something fiendishly charming about seeing Emma Stone charge into a ballroom and light her black and white dress on fire, revealing a chic red number beneath that would do Scarlett O’Hara proud. If fashion is a statement, Cruella is here to say the villain has just arrived!

Yet one can’t help but shake the certainty that by the time we actually learn the plot of Disney’s Cruella reimagining, Cruella will be in anything but black and white, or fiery red. Rather Cruella is obviously posturing to take a sideways approach to an old classic. But then again, that increasingly feels like the only direction these Hollywood redos know: the sympathetic origin story for an iconic villain.

To be clear, we’ve only gotten a glimpse of Stone as the new Cruella, and she looks absolutely fabulous in a black leather coat and cane, purring, “I’m only getting started, darling.” There’s a wildness about this interpretation befitting our current era where Harley Quinn is the hero of her own story, and Wade Wilson now leads a Disney franchise. Nevertheless, when I watch Cruella on the edge of tears in the trailer, barking defiantly that she is CRUELLA—and seemingly embracing an unfair reputation that other characters may be placing on her—a nagging question persists in the back of my head: Do we really need a sympathetic Cruella De Vil?

The trend of supervillains getting intellectual property-expanding sob stories is nothing new, be it at Disney or anywhere else in Hollywood. Maybe 25 years ago when folks liked their villains big and outlandish—think Glenn Close in Disney’s previous live-action remake of 101 Dalmatians—it was novel to see the antagonist become a tragic protagonist. But like everything else with modern blockbusters, that all changed a long, long time ago with something called Star Wars.

Back in 1977 when the original Star Wars movie was released, many audience members left the theater giddy about the world George Lucas created. In a galaxy far, far away, every pop fantasy of the mid-20th century—Wizards! Knights! Princesses! Samurai! World War II ace pilots!—was thrown into a massive cauldron that seamlessly blended these elements.

Luke Skywalker’s galaxy felt like a real place of exotic, lived-in locales, all of which captured that dirt-under-the-fingertips, tactile quality so rarely seen in fantasy stories. Sure the characters might be archetypes, but they came with histories which gave their fantasy space battles human density. Old Ben Kenobi fought in the Clone Wars with Luke’s father Anakin, who was “a gifted pilot.” But what exactly was a clone war? And why was there more than one of them? Also, what did a Jedi’s “more civilized age” look like for Luke’s papa?

For more than 20 years, no one knew the answer to those questions, which made them all the more intriguing, and the “lore” of this fantasy evermore mythic. Then came Star Wars: Episode I – The Phantom Menace, the first modern blockbuster prequel devoted to filling in the gaps left by a beloved classic’s mysteries. That movie’s problems are numerous, but at its core the most persistent, lingering issue may still be the reveal that Darth Vader was once a blonde haired little boy with the emotional range of Beaver Cleaver. Of course everyone knew in the abstract sense Vader was once a child… but did they ever really want to see it?

Additionally, did anyone really want to learn Anakin Skywalker’s reason for turning to the Dark Side is because of a bratty streak that followed him into adulthood? Probably not.

Nonetheless, all three Star Wars prequels made massive amounts of money and rather than becoming cautionary tales of what happens when you attempt to explain away all the mysteries of a beloved character, they were the first steps toward a modern staple of media regurgitation where seemingly every mug, pug, and thug would get their own sympathetic redo.

Since then, we’ve learned on screen that Spider-Man’s arch-nemesis Venom, is really a well-intentioned bloke caught in a bad romance (with his alien space buddy), Batman’s arch-nemesis the Joker is really just a Travis Bickle clone with mommy issues, and Maleficent, the reigning empress of badassery in the Disney Villain canon, was really just a woman scorned by Sleeping Beauty’s toxic father. Even Hannibal Lecter became a victim in Hannibal Rising, and the Wicked Witch of the West starred in the most popular Broadway musical of all time… where it turns out she was the hero in a conspiracy with the Scarecrow to pull one over on Dorothy.

To be clear, some of these spinoffs and reimaginings work quite well. Even if I personally am a bit chagrined at Todd Phillips’ Joker being nominated for Best Picture, Joaquin Phoenix’s sad sack killer clown created the space for a riveting performance that reminded mainstream audiences that movies can still be for adults. In another comic book movie, Magneto’s heartbreaking backstory in the Holocaust was expanded in 2011’s X-Men: First Class, which made an already relatively complex supervillain just that much more compelling in Michael Fassbender’s hands.

Overall, however, this approach has left something to be desired. And to get back to Cruella, her remix as a misunderstood tragic heroine appears to owe most of all to Maleficent. In 2014, Disney made a killing when they cast movie star Angelina Jolie as their very best big bad, a character so evil in 1959’s Sleeping Beauty that she was willing to knockoff a princess simply because no one sent her a party invite. That’s cold. And it’s wickedly entertaining. Hence why Maleficent scared and captivated generations of children.

Some characters are just too good at being bad.

The marketing of Maleficent leaned into this with a melancholic cover of Sleeping Beauty’s Tchaikovsky-inspired theme song, “Once Upon a Dream.” Now in a minor key, the new version sung by Lana Del Rey promised a scarier, more menacing version of the story, which was then confirmed by Jolie’s wonderfully devilish laugh. The big bad was finally going to have her day at the ball.

But when the movie actually came out, we learned that Maleficent was an enchanted fairy who’d been wronged. In the end, she didn’t hate Elle Fanning’s Princess Aurora. In fact, she loved the little royal and tried to save her from the curse she herself cast in a fit of justified anger. Ultimately, the sorceress adopts Aurora as the daughter she never had after disposing of her now abusive father. That’s certainly an interpretation. I guess.

It also proved massively successful in the short term, opening at a staggering $175.5 million in its opening weekend worldwide, and grossing $758 million total. Those numbers also exclude merchandising and home video revenues. If you want to know why we’re getting the punk rock Cruella, look no further.

However, did a lot of folks really like Maleficent? It made all the money in the world based on that devious marketing campaign that promised a shocking tell-all about Disney’s closest approximation to Lucifer, but by the time a sequel limped into theater five years later, relatively few seemed to still care about the misunderstood, freedom fighting warrior fairy Jolie played. Maleficent: Mistress of Evil ostensibly continued the good fight but flopped at the box office with a cume of $491.7 million, barely more than half of what its predecessor made. (Don’t cry for Disney though, as Avengers: Endgame, Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker, and remakes of Aladdin and The Lion King in the same year made Maleficent 2 look like a clerical error.)

What this whole sputtering franchise reminds us though is that some characters are better left bad, and the mystique of the unknown is an end unto itself. While I enjoyed Phoenix’s take on the Joker, there is little argument the character was even scarier with a PG-13 rating when he manifested out of thin air, like Beelzebub, in The Dark Knight. Or to take a step away from just villains, was Han Solo really any cooler when you learned how he got his name in Solo: A Star Wars Story? Or could you have gone your whole life without knowing thanks to The Hobbit movies that Gandalf and Galadriel were kind of, sort of, just maybe friends with benefits?

The allure of Cruella De Vil is right there in her name: She’s a cruel devil. How could she not be when her entire ambition in Disney’s classic 101 Dalmatians is to skin puppies for their fur coats? Finding out she used to fight the power before hoarding it may make a lot of money, but it doesn’t make her necessarily more compelling.

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[ruffiorocks]

Sansa Stark is misunderstood

Since its come back round to the time GOT last season was on I'm seeing a lot of renewed posts and a lot of revived hate for Sansa Stark. But it's not even justifiable hate!

I just saw a Facebook post where some bloke who fyi stated he "believed in female equality" stated that everything that happened to Sansa (abuse wise) was entirely her own fault and he bet she wished she knew how to fight like Arya while she was with Ramsey! Holy shit!! I can't believe i actually read that and when the bloke was called out for victim shaming he scoffed and insisted he believed in female equality!

People hate on Sansa because she isn't Jon, or Arya or Robb. But here's the thing, Sansa is everything she was supposed to be! She was everything she was raised to be, it's actually Arya who is the odd one for the world this story is set in.

I'm re-reading the first book and it's explained in Arya's first POV chapter what Sansa is like and how Arya is expected to be the same. Arya's first chapter is her thinking about how she is the odd one out. How much of a Lady Sansa is, how the sisters are treated by their mother and Septa Mordane. Even Jon, who gifts her needle, speaks to her about how she should be doing her needle work, and how girls get coats of arms but not swords.

Sansa at the start is exactly what she should be and exactly how she was raised to be. She's still an 11 year old child at the start of the books, and in the show she's about 13. A little Lady who still believes in songs and noble, handsome princes and happy endings. Why is that? Because that is how she was raised. Arya rejects all this as she is the odd one out, but it's not lack of trying on her parents and her Septas part. Eddard is a bit more sympathetic to his children, he knows Bran shouldn't be climbing but knows he can't stop him, so just tells him to not let his mother see. He knows Arya should be acting like a lady , it's the whole reasons he takes her to Kings Landing, he even tells her she will be a Lady and have sons etc and Arya tells him that's not her. After discovering her with needle Ned gives in and gets her a sword master. He doesn't change anything with Sansa, because she is exactly what she is supposed to be, he seems a bit clueless with her because he buys her a doll.

Now, Sansa acts like she is in a song when she is with Joffrey because no one has bothered to tell her that life isn't like a song, she is still a child but being put in adult situations.."Winter is Coming" failed on Sansa, because she wasn't taught that life isn't a song like she should have been. She doesn't understand why her father wants to send her home and destroy her fairy tale with her Prince, so this 11 year old (don't remember her doing it in the show) runs to Cersei who panders to her and complains.

Sansa doesn't get away from the Red Keep because she is watched constantly, she is the Prince's betrothed. Arya only escapes with the help or Syrio, left alone Arya would have been f**ked as well. This doesn't make Arya better than Sansa.

Sansa does everything she can to she Ned's life, she is a child being manipulated by Cersei.

Later Sansa is abused both physically and verbally and humilated for all of the court to see. She's beaten by grown men taking orders from a little psychopath. She can't stand up to them even if she tried. Give her a sword and train her to use it she would still have been f**ked. Put a trained Arya in her place and Arya would be f**ked to, she may kill a few knights but she would still end up being killed.

People forget how Sansa survived! Partly because she knew she had to play a dutiful part and she did. You think Margery was good at controlling Joffrey? Sansa had her own way as well.

People often forget how Sansa saved Ser Dontos life by manipulating Joffrey into making him his fool.

Everyone forgets how she stood up to Joffrey when he said he would give her Robbs head and she said Robb may give her his! No fear of Joffrey at all!

The very same scene she goes to push the little prat off the ledge and is only stopped by Clegane.

Swap her with Arya and Arya would be dead or locked up by then. Joffrey already hated her because of Nymeria. Joff wasn't betrothed to her, Arya may have stood up to him and gone wild as Arya is known to do but she would soon be killed.

Sansa knew that being compliant with the odd defiance here and there was the way to survive. She learned that quickly! A lesson Arya would never have learned if she had remained in the Red Keep.

People cheer Arya for killing people and how she wanted to kill Joffrey, whilst forgetting that Sansa very nearly did!

Sansa also warned Margery and Olenna about what Joffrey was like. Risking a lot if that got out!

She was the one to calm the women during the Battle of the Black Water Bay while Cersei got drunk, all the time knowing exactly why Ser Illyane Payne was there with them.

Sansa was forcibly married to Tyrion, he treated her well whilst the whole time being told by his father to get her pregnant by any means necessary. At least she found common ground with Tyrion, making the most of her situation. Arya would have rebelled and probably killed or locked up eventually for being defiant.

Sansa was nearly raped in the streets of Kings Landing, she was essentially ordered to be raped by Tyrion on Tywins orders. She was stripped in front of the court by Ser Merys whilst being threatened by Joffrey and his cross bow. She was later taken to the Eryie by known creepy pervert Little Finger, used again as a marriage pawn for Robin Arryn, kissed by creepy Little Finger, attacked and nearly thrown through the moon door by her aunt Lysa. She lied to protect Little Finger because she was starting to learn to play the game.

She was betrayed by Little Finger and married to the insane Ramsey. Constantly brutely raped by him and locked up. But she survived! She even had the guts to stand up to him as well, making it clear he was bastard and no royal decree from another bastard was going to change that.

She manages to escape with Theon and make her way to Castle Black to Jon.

Throughout all this time and abuse Sansa has not cracked. She is not the naive little girl she was raised and expected to be. She has learned what the world is really like, something the Starks should have taught her from day one. The books and the show make a point of have the men say that the boys will soon be men and need to learn what the world is like but the girls? Nope!

Sansa has survived all her abuse, and she has watched and learned how to play the game. She convinces Jon to take back Winterfell, she brings the Knights of the Vale, remember Jon didn't even want to listen to her input. He didn't want to listen to what she of Ramsey. It may be seen as harsh but Sansa knew that Rickon was dead the moment he was in Ramseys clutches, Jon was very noble wanting to save him but there was no chance.

Sansa shows how much she has learned and who she has been made into, the person she has been hiding just waiting to come out when she sets Ramseys dogs on him and enjoys watching his demise. Sansa is often condemned for this while Arya is praised for being a little psycho that loves to kill and does often.

Sansa sits by and says nothing when her birthright is ripped from her and Jon is declared King in the North, whilst she is left with Lady of Winterfell. She supports him, and she speaks her mind which is her right and he chastises her for questioning him in front of the Lords, her place is to discuss it in private. Even though she knows a lot more than he does when it came to the Northern Lords, or Cersei.

Sansa worries about the things others don't. She spent her time worrying about feeding her people, making sure their armour was warm enough, running Winterfell. This may seem boring to the viewers in comparison to Arya swapping faces and murdering all the Freys but this is why Sansa does! This is what makes Sansa strong!

Sansa understands politics, something that Jon, Arya and even Daenerys don't understand. Sansa knows how the North works, she knows how Cersei operates. She knows what the people of the North need, how the Northern Lords think. She sees the danger that Dany presents. She knows that will need her help but she doesn't trust her and doesn't want the Northern independence surrendered, something Jon did without consulting his people at all.

Sansa appropriately worries about feeding the amount of Dothraki and unsullied Dany brings with her. Boring to the viewers? Yes but a legit concern. She also worries about the Dragons and Dany petulantly tells Sansa dragons eat whatever they want. She couldn't have just answered the question properly? Maybe reassured Sansa they won't eat the Northerners, or their supplies?

Sansa is the only one after the battle for Winterfell that believes the soldiers need a break! Something they actually could have had, Cersei and the South could have waited a few days. They no longer than the dead to worry about, but Dany is impatient, caring only for what he believes is hers and not for the people. Jon even shuts Sansa down, suddenly he's stopped caring for the Northerners as well and wants to follow Dany like a loyal little dog.

Oh poor poor little Dany, no one loves her in the North. Maybe that's because the North don't trust foreign invaders. May be because she came to Winterfell after their king they had JUST elected gave it up to a foreign conqueror. Maybe because she came with three large Dragons and seemed to enjoy the fear they inspired. (Seriously go back and watch her arrive at Winterfell). Dany was so used to being worshipped like a Goddess, but that's not how things are done in the North. The Lords of Winterfell mingle with their men, celebrate together and don't worship their leaders like Gods. You can see her annoyance after the Battle for Winterfell. Oh no she lost people? Well suck it up buttercup so did everyone else. She didn't have anyone to celebrate with? Well maybe that's because Dany never made any friends! She had people that served her, even Jorah was a servant, Grey Worm, Missandi all servants not her friends. You can tell the difference with deference to her, the Northerners don't act like that, Jon and Sansa drink with the men like they are one of them. While Dany sits waiting to be pandered to.

Anyway, even Arya sees the issues with Dany! Sansa unites her family and out wits Little Finger of all people! She was once again biding her time waiting to strike. She knows how the game in played.

People praise Jon, Dany and Arya for fighting in the battle of Winterfell? Jon was a trained warrior, Arya was a trained assassin, Dany is pretty useless if she's Dragon less, e picked up a sword to fight with Jorah but didn't actually do much. Sansa is NOT a warrior, she did the best thing she could have done for everyone and stayed out of the way. She actually did have a knife and was ready to fight with Tyrion but it didn't come to that.

Sansa is one of the characters that changed the most, spoilt little girl wanting her fairy tale, to abused girl learning to survive, to abused woman still surving, to the Lady of Winterfell who understood politics and the game, to the Queen in the North who gained Northern independence.

But to blame her for all the bad stuff that happened to her? Blaming her for being raped because she couldn't hold a sword? People like that make me sick!

Sansa may not have been the most exciting character, but she learned how to play the game, she learned from her experiences, she cared about her people, she underwrite politics and saw the issues with Dany long before Jon did.

[ivy-miranda-2390]

In Defense of Anakin Skywalker (and Hayden Christensen)

I grew up with Star Wars, my whole family loves Star Wars. I was 8 when I saw Episode I and afterwards, I was completely immersed in the Star Wars universe. Ewan McGregor's Obi-Wan Kenobi was probably my first fictional boyfriend and I'm unashamedly still in love with him too.

Episode II: The Attack of the Clones came out when I was 11 and so naturally I was excited to see the continuation of the Star Wars prequel universe. However, nothing could have prepared me for the absolute utter gorgeousness of Canadian actor, Hayden Christensen who was cast to play the adolescent Anakin Skywalker.

My memories of first seeing Episode II are fond because I got to see the movies with my older siblings while on vacation in Myrtle Beach. It was probably my first experience of being accepted among my older adult brothers and sisters or the feeling of 'grownupness' as I like to call it.

So Attack of the Clones has always been an special film to me because I saw it at a time when I was no longer being viewed as a child, but as a growing teenager.

It's also why I've always been rather defensive of the film too. While the film was titled Attack of the Clones, it may as well have been re-titled, "Attack of Anakin Skywalker (and subsequently, Hayden Christensen)". For over 20 years, there has been an absolute and indescribable hatred of Anakin Skywalker and many people blamed both Jake Lloyd and Hayden Christensen's supposed poor acting as the result of a badly done Anakin.

And to be honest even though I had a massive crush on Hayden Christensen and was hardly a movie critic at the time, I felt that at times that Anakin could have been better acted. However, I was young and didn't care about the script or the acting. Yet, for years I constantly defended, Attack of the Clones, Anakin Skywalker and Hayden Christensen. Partly due to nostalgia, partly to being a teenage girl and most of all partly to do with understanding the character of Anakin as being misunderstood, misinterpreted and not being treated as an adult by the elders in his life.

Did Anakin have problems? Yes.

Were most of these problems his fault? No.

Did Anakin ever try to fix these problems and better himself? Everyday of his life.

He had nothing, but he gave everything

 The prequels were written as a timeline of a boy's journey from goodness into darkness. Anakin's life is a story arch of sacrifice and redemption. Life has not always been good to Anakin. He was born a slave with no father. He was raised in the strong love of wonderful mother Shmi Skywalker. While Shmi may have been scared and confused as to how she conceived a child without a man, she raised her son in love and simple contentment.

Chances are Anakin and his mother probably faced terrible abuse in their time as slaves and more than once, Anakin may have been separated from Shmi as leverage for greedy slave owners. Although a slave, Anakin was never a victim. He may have been physically owned, but his heart and mind were free. He was his own person, always thinking outside of the box, building, creating, questioning everything and everyone. Not to mention a little wild and rather reckless.

Even as a child Anakin was a little strange to people. For a slave to have such a hopeful and positive attitude may have seemed bizarre to outsiders, but that was just the norm for him. Shmi once remarked that her son knew nothing of greed. For a boy raised with nothing, all he had were his talents as an inventor and growing pilot. And he used his talents for other people. He built C-3PO to help his mom, he entered the podrace to help Qui-Gon Jinn, he always gave without any expectation of being thanked.

A spirit that refused to surrender

After Anakin is freed and sent to train as a Jedi, that wild spirit was still intact. Much to his by-the-book master's dismay. Anakin didn't have the opportunity to grow up in the strict Jedi Temple that was built on order, rules and tradition. As a child, Anakin was use to being himself and not fitting into anyone's mold. His original dream was to be a pilot, not a Jedi. No one asked him if he wanted to be a Jedi, no one asked him if he wanted to be trained by Obi-Wan Kenobi.

While Anakin may have been grateful for both opportunities presented to him, overtime he may have seen this new life as not to different from the one he left. A life run by others. Telling him what to do, where to go, how to dress, how to behave. He survived as a slave because he dared to dream and imagine and refused to be defined by others.

Now he's thrown into a culture where individuality is looked down upon. He lived through the stifling Jedi order because he still held onto those qualities. He was going to be himself on his terms. He would nod his head and say yes when he needed to, but off the clock he would live by his own rules. Something that Obi-Wan and the Jedi order could not understand. And Anakin is getting frustrated by this.

So now we get to Attack of the Clones (and the Attack of Hayden Christensen). Critics came down hard on both Anakin and Hayden. Constantly complaining about Anakin's constant complaining, his tantrums, broodiness and being a crybaby about everything. Critics blamed the disaster of Anakin Skywalker on the terrible miscasting of Hayden Christensen. The only redeeming quality Hayden Christensen had that saved him was the fact he was so easy to look at.

For years, fans were desperate to know who Anakin Skywalker was. And so the pressure to deliver a good character that could measure up to the icon of Darth Vader may have seemed insurmountable. And so when people got this confused, overemotional 19 year old, who has no experience in love or sex, but is madly in love with a beautiful young women; and who wants to be respected in a highly established culture, without losing himself or conforming, well people were just disappointed. The disappointment can be explained in one of Anakin's most famous lines.

"HE'S HOLDING ME BACK!"

He, being George Lucas who was holding back Hayden's actual talent to create a good three dimensional character. Plus his bad script writing. Poor Hayden was just made to read lines on a page and somehow make this sad character somebody that people can root for. Unfortunately fans and critics ate him alive. It's only in recent years that people have begun to realize that they were blaming the wrong person. And by blaming Hayden, they were completely misunderstanding Anakin as a character.

His most beautiful gift, his most fatal flaw

Of all of Anakin's gifts, his ability to love deeply was probably his most profound and his most dangerous. The Jedi Temple forbade romantic attachments to others and for good reason. When you become attached to or love someone beyond the boundaries of platonic friendship you become afraid of losing them. The end of my review for the Star Wars prequels sums it up the best:

In The Phantom Menace, Yoda warns Anakin about the dangers of being afraid. Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering. Anakin's most beautiful attribute is also his most fatal flaw. His ability to love deeply. Yet, if you love someone you will always live in fear of losing them. Anakin was created by darkness, but raised in the light of his mother's love. His own love was made manifest by Padme and then by their unborn child/children. However, Love no matter how strong can be weakened and even be destroyed by the evil of fear. If the prequels taught anything about life, it taught how fear (even in its smallest form) can be be our most detrimental enemy. Living alone in fear and not seeking help is a signing of our own death warrants. What might have happened if Anakin had gone to Obi-Wan and seek his help? Would things have been different? The prequels were not meant to tell a happy story. They were written as a timeline of a boy's journey from goodness into darkness. No, they don't have the silliness or humor of the Originals, because there is nothing humorous about someone's self-destruction. Yet, the story of Anakin Skywalker's transformation had to be told in a way that was real and heartbreaking. To take Darth Vader and make him a human who could feel and understand and love could be an insurmountable task. Yet, you only need to watch his death scene at the end of Return of The Jedi to see that the humane part of Anakin Skywalker had always been there. The prequels were made to be built on that final scene of redemption and human love. A husband's love to save his wife became a father's love that could overcome darkness and hate. An extreme love that defied fear and held on to hope. That was the love of Anakin Skywalker.

Anakin could be a bratty and immature young adult. However, to only base a character by his few annoying flaws is overlooking the bigger and better picture. Anakin was an outsider his whole life and yet that never seemed to bother him. He never cared about fitting in. He was content being himself and he refused to let Obi-Wan or the Jedi Order or even Padme change him. He held onto who he was for as long as he was able to. Then the tragedy of losing his wife changed that. The indomitable spirit wasn't broken, it was destroyed. Anakin re-entered a life of slavery for over 20 years.

And he was ultimately freed by one person. An orphan who once had nothing but a talent as an inventor and dreams of being a pilot. A young Jedi with an unbreakable spirit that refused to surrender to evil or fear or pain or loss. A son who loved his father so deeply that he would fight to the death to free Anakin Skywalker forever.

[acathea]

The Ridiculously Detailed Inquisitor Questionnaire that No One Needed

I’m just five years late for this. Taashath edition, impossibly long. @customhawke‘s inquisitor quiz was extremely time consuming to fill out but so fun!

PART ONE: APPEARANCE/PERSONALITY/BASIC FACTS

Give some basics for the Inquisitor:

Name: Taashath Adaar

Age: 32 (By the end of Trespasser, 34.). Born on Drakonis 3rd, 9:9 Dragon.

Race: Qunari

Gender/preferred pronouns: Trans Woman – She/her

Class (warrior/rogue/mage): Warrior

Preferred weapon/spell type: Two-Handed Swords

Specialization: Champion

Romance: Josephine

Give a detailed description of your Inquisitor.

Taashath has coppery, almost metallic-looking skin and bright red eyes surrounded by a black sclera. She has thick, long crimson hair that falls past her waist, which she keeps tied in a simple braid when out on missions. She takes excellent care of it and is very proud of the way it looks. Her eyebrows are dark, thick, and arched, of a red so dark it almost looks black if the sun is not shining on them. Her face is heart-shaped, with high and pronounced cheekbones and deep-set eyes, where subtle crows-feet rest, made more apparent when she smiles. Crowning her head are two large, dark horns that end in an upwards tip, chipped in places from her many fights throughout the years.

Taashath is tall compared to the other races, but stands at a rather short height for a qunari - at 6’9’’ft (205cm). Her body is muscular and toned, shaped from years of fighting and travelling. It’s scarred in numerous places, and it’s why she tends to wear clothing that covers her entire body not to show them.

Does the Inquisitor have any scars/tattoos before the game’s events? If so, tell how they got them/their meaning (for example, what elvhen god does Inquisitor Lavellan’s vallaslin represent, and why did they choose them?)

A horizontal scar crosses the length of the right corner of her mouth to her cheekbone, that she got on a job while still an inexperienced warrior. The debris from the explosion at the Temple of Sacred Ashes also hit her left eyebrow, leaving a nasty mark. Her body is scarred in numerous places due to her life work as a mercenary, notably her arms, and she always makes a point of covering them. Even when it should be too hot for long sleeves.

She wears mostly practical clothing, with little space for frivolousness. Usually in the dark colours of the Inquisition. After the events of the main game, she allows herself some prettier clothing and lighter colour schemes.

OPINIONS. Give your Inquisitor’s stance on:

The Chantry: Taashath dislikes the Chantry and would rather not be called the Herald of their Prophet. She doesn’t have any fond memories regarding priests of the Chantry, but only of the stones they would throw at her and her parents when passing through a village. She is interested in the history of the Chantry. She especially takes time to study it all in her time in Skyhold, but she holds no illusion that most in the Chantry want her dead. She has no issues with the Maker or Andraste, per se, however, even though she doesn’t believe in any kind of higher power.

Tevinter: Taashath has mixed feelings about Tevinter. She knows of the complicated history between the Qunari and the Imperium – but also, she’s Vashoth. Does that really apply to her? Of course, she holds mostly disdain for the way Tevinter controls its people and enslaves everyone they deem inferior. But she’s also intrigued by the culture of knowledge-seeking, were it not corrupted by lust for power.

Ferelden: It’s… brown. And cold. And it rains a lot. Taashath is more used to the warmth of the north, the brightness of it, but she falls in love with the culture and the people. Would she live in Ferelden? Absolutely not. But she doesn’t hate it.

Orlais: Orlais is… a very sore spot for her. For a chunk of her young adulthood, Taashath worked towards being admitted into the University of Orlais, her biggest dream. She wanted to study history and languages and geography. She wanted to walk in the University’s library and devote her life to knowledge. They laughed in her face, refused her entrance and kicked her out. Her experiences in Orlais after that were riddled with anxiety. When she visited the Winter Palace, however, she enjoyed beating the orlesian nobles that looked down on her at their own Game. She doesn’t like orlesians much, except a select few, and visiting the country is always the last thing she’s looking forward to.

Mages/Magic: Magic has always served Taashath well, and she sometimes envies those she encounters who have the gift. She is a big supporter of the mages’ freedom, although she agrees that they need a place where to study their magic – one where they’re not prisoners, maybe. But she’s not a fool, and she knows it can be dangerous – just like the weapons she carries.

Templars: While they never bothered her personally, Taashath is acutely aware of the abuses the Templars perpetuate and how power-hungry they can be, as she heard of the events of Kirkwall. She thinks their abilities may be of some use. Still, their affiliation with the Chantry and their methods don’t align with her moral principles. She would only ally with them if it was the only thing she could do. There must be some other way to protect people from demons other than Templars.

The Mage/Templar War: She believes it was inevitable. Wherever she went in Southern Thedas, she would always hear of the abuses of the Templars – either from apostates who wanted to join the Valo-Kas, or from the people they encountered. When the Chantry in Kirkwall exploded, she was surprised it didn’t have major consequences in all of Thedas sooner, taking another three years for the rebellion to fully take place. She supports the mages’ freedom.

The Dalish and City Elves: She is fascinated by the ways of the Dalish and would trade everything of value she has for the chance of learning more of their history and culture - and Shaevra is more than happy to share her culture with someone who seems to deeply appreciate it. She fails to make the connection between the nomadic way of the Dalish and the life she was living travelling with her parents. In regards to the city elves, she never knew much about them. It was only after becoming Inquisitor that she learned more of them from the servants in Skyhold. Then she sees first hand their living conditions in Orlais, and she feels much pity for them – although she admires their strength and sense of community.

Dwarves: Taashath hasn’t had much chance of seeing how the dwarves live in their thaigs, although she’s very curious about it – again, only after becoming Inquisitor does she have an opportunity to experience more of their culture. She’s more used to dealing with the Merchants’ Guild and surface dwarves. While she doesn’t have a particular liking for them, she also has no issues with them – unless they call her an ox-woman, which has unfortunately happened on more than one occasion.

Qunari/Tal-Vashoth (do they even know the difference?):  It’s… complicated. She’s qunari herself, although she is Vashoth. For followers of the Qun, she is nothing – like she doesn’t exist. For non-qunari, she is just like them, so she’s seen as a violent savage before a person. The only other example of qunari outside of the Qun are Tal-Vashoth like her parents, which she ran from because she believed she’d be better off without them. The others are either the Tal-Vashoth she is hired to kill, or the ones she works with, with whom she doesn’t feel any real connection to. It’s because of her feeling like she doesn’t have a culture of her own that Taashath is so interested in those of others. She feels like a fish out of water and is both interested in the ways of the followers of the Qun and wary of them. As I said, it’s complicated, and the only subject that genuinely makes her head hurt when she thinks about it.  

Humans: In her youth, Taashath used to idolize humans. She wanted to be like them, to be one of them – mostly because she only wished to have a roof over her head and not be thrown out of villages having sticks and stones thrown at them. She used to think that they must have been right about her parents, that they were savages and if only they allowed her in, they would see she was not like them. Now it’s different. Taashath has been hurt too many times by humans. She is wary and distrustful of them – the reason why she was convinced she wouldn’t have survived the events of the Conclave is that she was a qunari amidst angry humans. Of course, she can be swayed to think differently of some humans, but she treads very carefully when dealing with them. She likes the Avvar, though, and enjoys her time in the Frostbacks because of them.

What is their favourite place to travel to?

The Hissing Wastes. She loves the vastness of it, the climate, she loves the oasis. It’s also where she tames her wyvern mount, so it holds a special place in her heart.

Their least favourite?

Val Royeaux/the Winter Palace. It makes her feel anxious – she always has to watch her step and her mouth, always has to make sure she appears perfect in every way. It makes it hard to enjoy the architecture and pretty colours.

Honourable mention: the Fallow Mire. She hated being there, hated the climate, hated the mud and the water and the rain and everything that was there. She was glad to be out of that wretched place.

Describe what your Inquisitor is like before the game’s events–preferably, choose three words that describe best. Then explain why those adjectives are appropriate descriptors.

Quiet – During her travels, Taashath learned what misunderstood words might bring her in human society, and afterwards, it just stuck. She rarely spoke unless spoken to, and she much preferred entrusting her thoughts and musings to diaries and poetry rather than spoken words.

Apathetic – Or at least, on the surface. Taashath forces herself to appear unbothered and undisturbed by anything because, as usual, people will assume the worst when she expresses any kind of positive or negative emotions. This actually drives people away from her, which is… not what she’s aiming for when she does that. This also results in her basically shutting down her emotional side - which is ironically exactly what people expect of a qunari. It’s hard for her to trust people, to let herself go and be who she is – something that she only allows herself in private - and in turn, this created a sort of shell around her that, at some point, became more of prison than a protective measure.  

Level-headed – Taashath takes a lot of time to think things over. What she says, what she does is always the result of careful calculation and pondering. Not just in dealing with people, but with situations that come about as well. This makes her an excellent leader because she – usually – does not let emotions speak for her. There are a few exceptions, though.              

Does your Inquisitor change over the course of the game’s events? If so, how? What events affected their character arc the most?

It’s a mixed bag of feelings. Taashath learns to voice her feelings, her opinions, not to filter herself as much as she was used to and learns how to make friends. But after the events of the main game, the weight of being Inquisitor starts being too much. Every decision she makes leads to major consequences for the people involved - and even those who weren’t! - and they’re not always predictable. Each failure weighs on her even more. Sometimes, she feels herself becoming paralyzed by fear and doubt, and it’s only through the connections she’s made over the years in the Inquisition that she doesn’t break.

Being a lover of history and knowledge, seeing what happened to Ameridan shocked her quite a bit. Not only does she now doubt everything she’s ever read, but she’s also afraid that – with time – the Chantry will do the same to her. That they will erase her from history, make her a human, and rid the records of there ever being an Inquisitor named Taashath Adaar, of the qunari peoples. It’s disturbing, and she feels much pity for Ameridan and what was done to him. The events of the Descent also shake her, but mostly because she realizes there is so much more to Thedas than she realized. She wonders what other things there are still to discover or uncover.

The events of Trespasser truly break her. She fears and dislikes what the Inquisition is becoming, and she feels that everything is slipping out of her control. Even her advisors start making decisions without her, taking actions she wouldn’t have approved of. She thinks that finally, the charade is over and that she will be revealed for the fraud she is. She is glad, in the end, to disband the Inquisition. It was getting too big, too frightening, and something she was not proud of. She feels like a failure, honestly. Losing her arm also does not help, as her fighting style depends on it, and now she cannot even write – the only thing that brought her comfort for so many years. She feels that in some way she’s been stripped of her identity and made into something she doesn’t recognize.  

Solas betraying her was the worst thing. He honestly acted as her mentor, because he was the only one that knew something about the Anchor and how to control it. Taashath feels everything spiralled after he left. When she finds out that not only is he an Ancient Elven God, he is responsible for everything that happened, and what he is about to do will destroy the world, she just really doesn’t know how to cope with it. She is broken for a while. But, like always, she picks herself back up out of sheer willpower. She wants to save her friend, even if it means protecting him from himsef. It’s the only thing giving her purpose, now, the only thing she will not allow herself to fail at.

Use three words to describe your Inquisitor at the end of the game, and explain why they are appropriate. (If there are any that are still the same from the beginning of the game, explain why they are still appropriate DESPITE the game’s events.)

Authoritative – Taashath, through her knowledge of history and nobility, through being a good strategist, learns to use her voice and make herself heard, learns to make decisions and take control of the situation, and to live with the consequences of what she does. She’s also less afraid of not appearing perfect in front of the nobility – she knows who she is, and nothing will change that.

Paranoid/Insecure – She makes decisions. She lives with the consequences. But each day, those decisions and their repercussions weigh more and more on her, with the death count rising, always. She doubts herself, she is afraid she is not suited for the role and that she should pass it down to someone else instead. But she doesn’t do it, because she is also afraid of what someone else might do with the power of the Inquisition. In the end, it was never its fate to last, and she knew that.  

Dedicated – Despite her doubts, her fears, Taashath simply cannot give up. She will do anything it takes to find Solas, to make him see that this world is worth keeping, and to save him from himself – and the people of Thedas from him. It’s her only goal, and she puts everything she has in herself towards it. She will act, even if it means more decisions, and more weight on her shoulders. She can take it.

Life Before the Conclave

What is their combat skill level before the events of the game? Are they already skilled fighters, or can they barely hold their weapon of choice properly?

Taashath’s father was a Karasten, well trained in the way of fighting. He always believed that his daughter should be able to protect herself, given their nomadic lifestyle, and trained her with sticks first and real swords later from a very young age. She is quick and agile, nimble for someone of her stature and the weapons she wields. She’s an excellent fighter, despite it being something that she does only to defend herself and not because she actually enjoys it.  

How well do they improve after becoming the Herald/Inquisitor?

With The Iron Bull’s help, Taashaths learns quite a few tricks. Not just that, but he teaches her how to make training something to actually relax with, something she can do to wind down and keep her body and mind sharp. She does indeed come to enjoy sparring with him, Cassandra and Blackwall (as the other soldiers will not fight her). Losing her arm, her fighting hand, is absolutely the worst. If all else fails, now she cannot even fight. Of course, after Dagna makes her a very flexible prosthetic, she starts training again – as if she had never held a weapon before. She’s not at the level she used to be, but she’s still quite the fighter.

Does the Inquisitor have family they left behind? Friends?

She learns this during her time in the Inquisition, as for a long while she thought they were dead, but her mother and father are still alive and well. Moreover, she’s got a younger sister and brother. Her ex-partner, a Tal-Vashoth mage, also asks for her help in the Emerald Graves and helps the Inquisition as an agent. Taashath’s mother, Asala, was a Tamassran under the Qun. She taught Taashath everything she knows and, when she came out to them as a child, Asala wasted no time in making Taashath comfortable and teaching her about herb mixtures to help her growth. Taashath’s father, Berestaar, was a Karasten. He often had more trouble than Asala in expressing his feelings and emotions, and could appear like a distant father, but he always loved and cared for her daughter and wanted nothing but the best for them.

Hissera is Taashath’s younger sister, a little spitfire that causes trouble wherever she goes.

Finally, Kost is Hissera’s twin. He’s not as restless as she is, and is also a mage.

Hissra was Taashath’s first love, and they lost each other for a couple years before the events of Inquisition. After Taash helps her personally in the Emerald Graves, Hissra joins the Inquisition as an Agent until its disbandment out of loyalty and gratitude to Taashath.

How do they feel about being separated from them?

It’s very complicated. When she was young, Taashath resented having to always be on the run. She hated that they had nowhere to stay, she hated the way people looked at her parents – her. She hated that they did not speak the King’s Tongue well, she hated that they didn’t seem to make an effort to at least appear less threatening. When she was fifteen, before her mother found out she was pregnant again, she ran away and never looked back. She felt that, on her own, she had more chances of being able to build a life for herself in human society – and she was wrong. By the time of Inquisition, she is very ashamed of what she did, the words she said to them, and wishes she could take it all back. She fears they might be dead. She reveals this to Josephine one evening, who in turn informs Leliana and asks her to look into it as a personal favour. They reach Skyhold, and it’s a very emotional reunion. Now she knows she won’t let go of them ever, and bought a house for them to stay in Antiva, near where she and Josephine live.

What is the most important/influential moment of their life before the Conclave?

There are a couple, at least. Running away from her parents was one such moment. Her breakup with Hissra was another. But most definitely her most defining moment was when she got turned away from the University of Orlais. Even after all those years on the road, and having to work as a mercenary to gather the coin because no one would hire qunari for anything else, she still hoped she could make it. She was genuinely convinced that if she argued her points well, they would admit her. After all, the University was the only place elves were allowed to study in, so how far of a stretch could it have been to allow a qunari in as well? It was the moment she gave up on her dream, forever, and resigned herself to a life of mercenary work just to get by.

Why were they sent to the Conclave?

It was just another job with the Valo-Kas. Go there and look threatening, make sure no one started anything. She knew the importance of the Conclave and was interested in seeing its outcome. Still, she knew nothing would personally change in her life. Or at least, she thought so.  

PART TWO: MAIN PLOT REACTIONS/CHOICES

THE WRATH OF HEAVEN/THE THREAT REMAINS

How does the Inquisitor react to the Anchor and the idea of closing the Breach–do they want to do the right thing, are they only along because they are a prisoner, or something else?

Taashath is thoroughly freaked out the entirety of the prologue, even if she tries hard not to show it. She knows she didn’t do anything, but she can’t remember what happened. She’s surrounded by angry humans who blame her for the death of their religious head figure, and she knows how much humans hate and fear qunari. She wants to do the right thing and accepts anyway, but she honestly thinks that she won’t survive the ordeal – Anchor or no.  

Do they take the mountain pass with the scouts to the Temple, or do they charge with the soldiers?

The mountain pass was without a doubt the safest and smartest choice – charging aimlessly to fight a force she does not yet know is not her style at all.

How does the Inquisitor react to being called the Herald of Andraste?

She doesn't like it, and asks everyone not to call her that. Not only because she does not believe she’s the chosen of Andraste or the Maker, but because she’s afraid of what will happen when other people realize she’s neither of those things.

Do they believe it themselves?

Absolutely not. Taashath is an atheist, and she believes Andraste was just a very powerful mage who communed with a spirit. She holds no illusions of being the chosen of any God.

How does the Inquisitor react to Chancellor Roderick’s presence and the threat of the Chantry?

Taashath does not like him, and definitely does not like the way he calls for her beheading every two seconds – but he’s nothing new. She knows how much power the Chantry and its lackeys hold, so she can only hope that he won’t bother her too much.  

Does the Inquisitor decide to approach the mages or the Templars?

Taashath does not want to be affiliated with the Chantry in any way. However, she’s working for an organization that is technically under its banner. Still, she chooses the mages because she figures they can help more with this magic rather than following Cullen’s conjectures.

IN HUSHED WHISPERS

How does the Inquisitor feel about mages and about recruiting them?

She has a deep respect for magic and mages, and is a supporter of their cause. She goes to the mage without seconds thoughts because she genuinely feels they are the only way to help, and if she can help them in return, she will do anything in her power to do so. When she finds out they basically sold themselves into slavery she’s perplexed as to exactly why they would do that – but she also sees that they thought this was the only way they could escape the Chantry. This just further convinces her that she wants to help them and their cause.

How does the Inquisitor react to the idea of allying with Tevinter to gain the mages’ support?

Very practically. She is not allying herself with Tevinter, she is helping the mages and making sure they are not going to be slaves in a foreign land.

How do they react to being thrown a year into the future? Do they believe they can get back? Are they focused on their goal, gathering information? Or are they just freaking out?

Taashath, as usual, is very calm on the surface. She is very freaked out about the whole situation and what she sees, but she’s also very fascinated by how this was achieved. Having Dorian with her also helps, as even if she initially did not trust him, he quickly proves to be a valuable ally. Shared trauma is the quickest way to make friends, apparently. What really disturbs her is seeing how her companions have suffered, and seeing them die for her does a number on her. Her top priority after that becomes making sure there are the least number of casualties possible.

Did they ally with the mages or conscript them? Why?

She allies with them. She’s not about to force people to help her, and she doesn’t want the mages to go from one prison to another. She figures that the only way the Inquisition will survive is if it makes allies rather than enemies, as it already has quite a few of those, and conscripting people is not the best way to make lasting friendships.

What is the Inquisitor’s relationship with Fiona?

She is confused at first by Fiona’s reasoning, but she does not blame her more than what she feels is her right because Taashath is neither a mage nor an elf – there is clearly nuance there that she is lacking the life experiences to fully get. However, as they spend more time together in service of the Inquisition, she becomes fascinated with her stories and her life, and often comes to her for counsel.

IN YOUR HEART SHALL BURN

Does the Inquisitor help Harriet and save all possible citizens of Haven? Why?

Of course! She saved everyone, and was willing to die herself to see the innocent people of Haven survive. Even if she did not like some of them, they had all given themselves to a cause and she is a firm believer that even the most “insignificant” of people has value. Everyone deserves to live, and she makes sure everyone makes it to the Chantry safe and sound.

How does the Inquisitor feel about being a distraction for Corypheus while Haven flees? Are they resigned to their fate? Resentful? Determined to defeat the enemy/survive?

In a way, she figured she would not survive Haven. She is afraid, and while she feels like shaking in fear, she knows she cannot show any weakness at this moment. She is resigned to her fate, and she only hopes the Inquisition will be able to defeat Corypheus. They have Cassandra to lead them, after all. She has closed the Breach, her duty is done, and although she is not ready, she wants to give everyone a chance.  

Does the encounter with Corypheus change their opinion of being Herald? Does it make them believe they are the Herald, lose faith, or affirm to their previous belief?

Nah, it doesn’t. It just makes her believe that she has to stop him at all costs - although she’s fascinated by what he said about the Black City.

How do they react to Solas telling them the orb is elvhen?

She’s so fascinated, and asks tons of questions. She wants to know more about it. She agrees nobody else should know the orb is elven in origin because she fears the reaction of the humans in the organization, and what it might mean for the elves working for it. 

How do they feel about being chosen for Inquisitor?

It’s the first time in the game she actually shows some emotion – mostly, bewilderment. She can’t believe a bunch of humans are making them her leader, and she doubts anyone will follow her. She thinks someone like Cassandra is more suited to leading the Inquisition, and gets a bit teary-eyed when she sees the outpouring love and support the people she helped save show her. She enjoys it - initially.

What do they say are the principle foundations for the Inquisition?

Uncovering the truth, protecting the people, defending the freedom of the people of Thedas – of all its people, not just humans.

FROM THE ASHES

How does the Inquisitor react to Hawke’s presence?

Taashath has read the Tale of the Champion quite a few times, and is fascinated by meeting the Champion herself. She asks lots of questions, and she is surprised to see how mellow and quiet Hawke seems to be – so different from what Varric had written in his book.

Does the Inquisitor side with Varric or Cassandra during their fight?

Varric. He is not responsible for what happened at the Conclave, and she does not fault him for not trusting Cassandra.

How well do they get along with Hawke? Do they agree with Hawke’s decisions?

They get along pretty well. They find much in terms of common ground and Taashath values Marian’s help a lot. Taashath doesn’t know what she would have done in Hawke’s place, so she does not judge her. Marian has had many dealings with qunari of all backgrounds, so seeing Taashath does not really phase her.

HERE LIES THE ABYSS

Who is the Warden contact?

In-game? Stroud. In my personal canon? My own Hero of Ferelden. After getting news from Varric of who is responsible for the Breach, Marian contacts Anthra for help, and Anthra interrupts her search for a cure (close to bearing fruit) because she believes Corypheus is the Wardens’ responsibility. Her wife Everelle follows in tow, and they’re joined by their daughter Fen’na shortly afterwards.

How does the Inquisitor get along with them?

With Stroud, she doesn’t form much of an opinion. He keeps to himself and gives her directions and information, and so she does the same. With Anthra, she is very fascinated by her and asks her tons of questions. She’s read the Chronicles of the Fifth Blight a thousand times already, but she doesn’t pass any chances to inquire about something with the Hero of Ferelden herself. She respects her, admires her, and admires her prowess in combat.

How do they react to finding out the Wardens are being used by Corypheus?

It went against everything she knew about the Wardens. Honourable warriors dedicated to defeating the darkspawn, allying themselves with a powerful one? She did not understand, and was pretty shaken after discovering it.  

How does the Inquisitor react to being in the Fade?

Extremely enthusiastic, despite the circumstances. She takes notes of everything she sees, until it becomes a little too freaky for her liking. She never expected to see the Fade in person.

Do they ever believe the spirit is actually of Divine Justinia?

For a brief moment, yes. And for a second, she started freaking out that if the spirit was truly Divine Justinia, then maybe she was really the Herald and all that other nonsense. She was thoroughly pleased to find out it was all as she believed initially - no higher power to speak of.

How do they react to the revelation regarding the Wardens’ involvement in the Conclave attack?

Disturbed. She had hoped they had no part in what happened at the Conclave, purely out of the respect she feels for the Order, but seeing her memories made it impossible to keep staying in denial.

Do they agree with Hawke or the Warden more?

In-game? Neither. Stroud’s “how dare you judge us” feels like he’s trying to avoid any kind of responsibility, while Marian would never blame what happened on the use of blood magic. In canon? Marian feels pity for how the Wardens were tricked. At the same time, Anthra can’t believe the Order let itself be fooled and forced into slavery by darkspawn. There is nothing to agree with, they all feel it’s a shitty situation.

How do they respond to Hawke’s and the Warden’s fight?

In canon, no fights happen, while in the game, she tries to make Stroud and Hawke realize that fighting while they are held hostage by a Nightmare full of demons is probably not the best decision.

How do they react to learning it was the Divine behind them in the Fade, not Andraste?

She feels relieved that it was not Andraste, sad for the Divine’s death, guilty for failing to help her.

What would the Nightmare Demon have said to rattle the Inquisitor?

“Try as you might, you won’t be able to hide forever. One day, they will all see what you really are. And I will be waiting.”

What is on the Inquisitor’s tombstone (what is their greatest fear)?

“Lost herself.”

Who does the Inquisitor leave behind in the Fade? Why do they choose to do so?

Both in-game and in canon it’s not actually Taashath’s decision, but I’ll explain the canon version: Anthra was ready to give herself for the cause, believing that Corypheus is the Wardens’ responsibility. However, Hawke believes otherwise. She failed to kill Corypheus, so in a way, she feels it’s her fault this all happened. She pushes Taashath and Anthra away with magic and forces them out of the rift before it closes. It’s her responsibility. She will pay the price.

Does the Inquisitor decide to exile the Wardens or have them fight alongside the Inquisition? What is their reasoning behind the decision?

Despite their mistakes, despite the revelation that the Wardens are not as infallible as she thought they were, she is not so stupid as to exile them. Two Old Gods still lie in the Deep Roads waiting to be awakened by the darkspawn, and when that time comes, the Grey Wardens will once again need to save Thedas.

WICKED EYES AND WICKED HEARTS

What is their opinion on attending the ball in the first place? Do they think it’s a waste of time, a necessary duty, or something exciting?

It’s a necessary duty, but one she dreads. She dreads appearing in front of the same nobles and scholars who regularly mock her and call her ox, and she fears she will make a blunder and ruin the Inquisition’s reputation.

Do the companions/advisors believe the Inquisitor will do well at the palace, or is there a fear they’ll be kicked out within five minutes?

Everyone fears the outcome of the evening because they are attempting to stop a murder. But while no one is afraid Taashath will bring shame to the Inquisition, they do have to sit down with her and try to get her to be more warm and friendly - teach her to recognize some of the nobles. Vivienne especially helps in this situation, as she’s familiar with having to appear perfect in front of a group of people ready to eat her alive.

How does the Inquisitor actually fare? Are they the belle of the ball, or do they barely scrape by?

Taashath does incredibly well. It’s like the nobles are at her fingertips, she manoeuvres and manipulates them all. She finds the Game quite delightful, and discovers herself a good player.

Does the Inquisitor gather blackmail information for Leliana? Gather caprice coins and stone halla? Find the Red Jenny caches?

If there was a chance, yes, but she didn’t go out of her way to find stuff that was not directly related to the mission at hand – save the blackmail for Leliana. That was valuable and essential information that would have helped them even after the evening at the palace was over.

Does the Inquisitor fight Grand Duchess Florianne, or expose her?

She exposes her. Taashath fears that a divided Orlais will be worse for the balance of Thedas than Corypheus might be, and she does what she can to make sure there is someone to rule it.

Who does the Inquisitor support for Orlesian rule?

She forces Celene, Gaspard and Briala into a truce. She holds no love either for the Empress nor for Gaspard, and wishes to see Briala and her people thrive. Still, both the Empress and Gaspard have numerous allies and enemies that balance each other out, and her only interest was a united Orlais for what was to come.

She also, not so very subtly, enjoyed the humans having to bow to her demands, for once.

WHAT PRIDE HAD WROUGHT

How does the Inquisitor get along with Morrigan?

She asks her questions, but she is wary. Morrigan seems more interested in the power she can find in the Temple of Mythal rather than stopping Corypheus, and this concerns her. She also sees how her Dalish ambassador and her clash, and she can’t help but take Shaevra’s side.

Does the Inquisitor take the Pilgrim’s Path, or fight their way through?

She follows the Pilgrim’s Path. She takes in as much of the Temple of Mythal as she can, having never had the chance to be so close to Ancient Elven culture. She wants to see everything for herself.

Does the Inquisitor ally with Abelas and the elven sentinels?

Of course. If she could, she would ask them tons of questions, and would love to hear their stories. She is very frustrated that there’s just no time to do that, and she has no wish of fighting them.

Does the Inquisitor weaken Samson’s armour before fighting him?

Yes. Weakening an enemy’s allies is the first thing she takes care of.

Who drinks from the Well of Sorrows? What is the reasoning behind the choice?

In-game, Taashath takes the knowledge of the Well for herself. Ancient history? Culture? There was not a chance she was giving that up. One of the only selfish choices she made during the game, as she knew Morrigan would benefit from it more. In canon? My own Lavellan, Shaevra, drank from the Well, as Taashath would never take that away from her. It’s her people, her culture, and she finds Morrigan’s comments terribly out of place, and a confirmation that she was more interested in the power of the Temple rather than helping fight Corypheus.

THE FINAL PIECE

If the Inquisitor drank from the Well, how do they react to finding out they are now a servant of Flemeth/Mythal?

She regrets it a bit, because she realizes she didn’t think about the consequences - and she always thinks of the consequences. It surprises her to find out Mythal is in a human body, but she’s still fascinated by everything that’s happening.

Shaerva is not bothered by being a servant of one of her gods per se, but again, she is surprised first and angry later that Mythal chose a human vessel. She’s angry with Mythal, because she could have helped them all those years, and she didn’t. She doesn’t know what to make of it.  

DOOM UPON ALL THE WORLD

How does the Inquisitor feel about facing Corypheus for the last time? Do they feel confident? Do they believe they will survive the encounter? How do they cope with the possibility of failure?

Honestly, Taashath believes that this final confrontation will be the last. The Breach, again? Corypheus and his dragon? This has to be it, she thinks. Her biggest regret is not having had enough time for her family, but at least she knows she’s done all she can.

Who becomes the next Divine? Is the Inquisitor in support of the decision?

This is actually the hardest decision Taash had to make - who to support. She, of course, realizes that the Divine being someone who used to work for the Inquisition is extrmely important and valuable. Her heart says Leliana, because of her outspoken support of nonhumans and mages. Vivienne also was a candidate in her mind, and talking with her personal apprentice, Sefridi, she was swayed to her side. It is only after Anthra herself gives her opinion that Taashath finally comes to the decision that Leliana is the best suited to become Divine.

How do they react to Solas’ disappearance?

Confused, sad. She always came to him not just to have stories told, or to have him walk her through the Fade, but also when she had doubts, second thoughts, when it came to the Anchor. They spent a lot of time together, and she deeply respected him. He was very much her mentor. She misses their ritual of greeting the morning on the roofs of Skyhold more than anything.

What does the Inquisitor decide to do after Corypheus is defeated? How do they focus the Inquisition?

There are still rifts out there that need to be closed, and the Inquisition’s work is not done. Corypheus’s mess is not entirely dealt with, so she doesn’t feel like there is any other path for her aside from continuing to lead the Inquisition. She wants them to keep the peace and protect the people of Thedas, though she realizes the organization is getting too big and slipping out of her control. After the events of Trespasser, Taashath dedicates herself to finding and stopping Solas, and try to save him from himself and make him realize this is a world worth preserving.

PART THREE: SIDE QUESTS/WAR TABLE

SIT IN JUDGMENT:

How does the Inquisitor generally judge prisoners?

If there is a way for her to make use of her enemies so that they bolster the Inquisition’s forces, that is what she will do.

What are the specific judgments passed to prisoners in-game?

Gereon Alexius (If Mages Recruited): Execution/Imprisonment/Work With Mages/Made Tranquil/Research Magic

She has him researching magic, especially the time magic he was able to use in Redcliffe.

Florianne’s Remains (If Confronted and not killed): Encloisterment/Recruitment/Farm Work/Exile/Jester

Recruited her. No way she’s wasting that potential.

Magister Livius Erimond: Imprisonment/Execution/Made Tranquil/Remand to Grey Wardens

She sends him to the Grey Wardens, as she is sure they will punish him appropriately.

Ser Ruth: Divine Forgiveness/Humiliation/Imprisonment/Refuse Judgment/Exile with Wardens/Exile to Deep Roads

Refused to judge her.

Captain Thom Rainer: Pardon/Give to Wardens/Servitude

She gives him to the Grey Wardens – she can see he regrets what he’s done and willing to make amends, so she sends him where he was initially supposed to go anyway.

Samson (If Mages Recruited): Serve Inquisition/Give to Dagna/Remand to Kirkwall/Exile/Imprisonment

He serves the Inquisition.

Chief Movran the Under: Banish/Public Display/Arm and Exile to Tevinter/Assign to Abernache

Arms and exiles him to Tevinter.

Mayor Gregory Dedrick: Give to Grey Wardens/Exile/Death/Imprison in Fereldan

She has Ferelden authorities deal with him, as even though the crimes pertain to the Blight, she still feels it’s not her place to make that call.

Crassius Servis: Imprisonment/Returned to Corypheus/Recruited (Informant)/Recruited (Smuggler)

Recruits him as an informant.

Mistress Poulin: Rebuild Town/Released/Put to Work/Execution/Money Confiscated for Trevelyan

She had Poulin use her own funds to rebuild the town.

WAR TABLE

Does your Inquisitor generally use Force, Secrets, or Connections to complete War Table Operations? Why?

She rarely, if ever, uses Cullen’s forces. Only when it comes to something military-related does she call on him, otherwise all the work goes to Leliana and Josephine’s agents.

What does the Inquisitor usually spend Inquisition Perks on?

Secrets. Taashath knows that, to use the Inquisition to its fullest potential, she has to know everyone and everything about Thedas.

FETCH/GATHERING QUESTS

Does the Inquisitor take time to collect the shards? Do they complete the Temple of Pride? Why or why not?

It’s secret knowledge – of course she’s not letting that slip out of her hands. She is, however, horrified to find out how the oculara are created.

Does the Inquisitor complete the Astrariums? Why or why not?

She loved testing her knowledge of the stars and enjoyed completing the puzzles – always refusing any help.

Does the Inquisitor take time to complete side quests/recruit agents? Why or why not?

Unless she was on a mission that required to make haste, Taashath always takes the time to help people in need and spread the word of the good work the Inquisition does. As for agents, she recruits as much as she can, and never turns down help or a chance to gain more influence.

PART FOUR: RELATIONSHIPS/COMPANION QUESTS

GENERAL

Who does the Inquisitor prefer to have in their party? Why?

Cole, Solas and Dorian/Vivienne. They take turns. Cole is a spirit in a very unique predicament, Solas knows much about magic and the Fade, and Dorian is her bestie. She also really loves Vivienne’s company.

Which advisor is the Inquisitor closest to, if any?

Josephine. She helps Taashath a great deal adjusting in Haven and then in Skyhold, and she feels really drawn to her. She also really loves hearing about her time in Antiva and Orlais, but she comes to Leliana when she has doubts about what she’s doing or the Inquisition itself.

Who does the Inquisitor most often turn to for advice?

Solas, mostly. They have this ritual where they will greet the morning, relaxing their bodies, stretching them, it helps her relax a lot and start the morning with a clear mindset. She also finds venting to Dorian very helpful, and the two grow very close.

Who is the one the Inquisitor hangs out with the most in their free time?

Dorian, absolutely. They’re both bookworms and spend their time talking about what new things they’re studying, their favourite scholars and the like. He tries to get her to loosen up a bit, and although met with some initial resistance, the two grow very fond of each other.

Who would be the one the Inquisitor tells their deepest, darkest secrets to?

Cole already knows them all, and she knows it. Her deepest and darkest secrets? Leliana, the only one who will treasure them carefully.

Are there any companions the Inquisitor wishes they were closer to? If so, which ones?

Sera. Taashath feels that winding down with Sera is the best time she has in the Inquisition, but her duties always make it so she can spend little time with her, and she wishes she could be more like the elf - wild and carefree. However, after some time, they find solace in each other and help each other deal with their issues regarding their own heritages.

LELIANA

What is the Inquisitor’s first impression of Leliana?

She’s the voice of reason compared to Cassandra, and she trusts her from the beginning, purely because she’s level-headed despite what is happening.

Does the impression change over time? If yes, how so? If not, why?

Taashath always trusts Leliana and considers her a powerful and valuable ally. However, during the events of Trespasser she grows frustrated with the liberties Leliana takes, and her failures as well.

What does Leliana think of the Inquisitor? Does this change?

Leliana sees Taashath as a wonderful woman. Knowledgeable, well versed in the fighting arts and a diplomat to heart. Honestly, Leliana couldn’t have wished for a better Inquisitor.

Does the Inquisitor help Leliana find the Divine’s last message for her in Val Royeaux?

Of course she does. Having her advisors be at peace and entirely focused on her work is a top priority.

If so, do they “soften” Leliana or confirm her “hardened” nature?

Leliana doesn’t need Taashath to tell her who she is. She only tries to remind her that there can be space for a gentle heart even when making the toughest decisions.

Does the Inquisitor support the idea of Leliana being Divine?

She swings back and forth between her and Vivienne until she finally decides to support her. The Chantry needs radical change, and Leliana will bring just that. She loves how outspoken she is in favor of non-humans and mages, and she knows she will be a friend of the Inquisition. It’s an all around win for everyone, she believes.

CULLEN

What is the Inquisitor’s first impression of Cullen?

He’s angry, he’s got a sword, he’s giving her the stink eye. She doesn’t like him.

Does this impression change over time? If yes, how so? If not, why?

Not really. She’s apathetic towards him at best, or wishes they could find a better replacement for him, but the soldiers seem to like him, and she only wants the Inquisition to be united.

What does Cullen think of the Inquisitor? Does this change?

Cullen knows full well the Inquisitor doesn’t even think him necessary to the operations, and he tries to make her see things differently. When she challenges him on his views and his methods, he realizes he only buried his bigoted views under the false pretence of having “gotten over it”.  

Does the Inquisitor play the chess game with Cullen? Do they let him win, play fair, or cheat?

She doesn’t really like spending time with Cullen outside of work, so no.

Does the Inquisitor convince Cullen to stay off lyrium, or tell him to start taking it again?

She’s not gonna have him keep taking lyrium – it’s going to lead to madness eventually, and she urges him to push through it despite the pain. Genuinely, it’s when she feels sympathy for him. What he goes through cannot be easy, and even though she doesn’t like him and him being free of lyrium addiction would help the Inquisition, it’s mostly for his own good that she pushes him to power through it.

Does the Inquisitor assist Cullen in finding Samson’s base?

Yes. She is disgusted by him calling Maddox “Samson’s Tranquil” like he is some sort of pet, but in the end the only thing she cares about is weakening Corypheus’s allies.

JOSEPHINE

What is the Inquisitor’s first impression of Josephine?

Taashath thinks Josephine is lovely, and appreciates her efforts to make her feel comfortable. In her opinion, Josie is also a very beautiful, striking woman.

Does this impression change over time? If yes, how so? If not, why?

She thinks Josephine is, along with Leliana, the most important asset to the Inquisition. Her knowledge and network of contacts is vital and she cherishes having such a prepared and professional woman by her side.

What does Josephine think of the Inquisitor? Does this change?

Josephine is initially nervous about Taashath’s apparent stoic nature, but eventually learns to recognize the subtle tells of the qunari’s feelings, learns to read them, and becomes her confidante. She greatly appreciates Taashath’s interest in politics and eagerness to help.  

Does the Inquisitor initiate a romance with Josephine?

Yes. To be honest, in the beginning, Taashath went to her to vent and relax. She would compliment her constantly in what could be considered flirtatious comments, but to her she was only admiring the woman she was speaking to. It didn’t even occur to her that she was developing feelings for Josephine, as she would never assume Josephine would waste her time with her, and it is only when Leliana gives her “the talk” that she’s forced to think about her feelings and realizes just how much she cares for her.

What is it like? Why are they attracted to each other?

Taashath is interested in Josephine’s work and stories, and she enjoys her quiet company. Josephine appreciates Taashath’s work ethics and driven mind. It’s all professional at first… until it isn’t.

Does the Inquisitor find Josephine an example of her old family crest?

Yes. Taashath takes any chance she has to make Josephine happy, and spends a great deal of time finding that antiquity – she loves collecting old wine bottles as well, and thus she knows where and who to look for when it comes to trinket-hunters.

Does the Inquisitor duel Lord Otranto for Josephine’s affections? Do they confess their love to Josephine when she intervenes, or allow Otranto to marry Josephine?

Initially, she wasn’t going to. If Josephine said they were done, Taashath was not going to force anything on her. However, this caused her a great deal of suffering. She was a mess, and this to her was just reaffirmation that no one would ever love her the way she loved them. She got blind drunk and collapsed on the sofa in her chambers. Ironically, it was Hissra – her previous partner – who found her in that condition and made her realize she had to fight for Josephine. Her yelling “because I love you!” in the middle of the square was probably the most emotional she’s been, and has allowed herself to be, in quite a bit. She poured her heart out for Josephine in that moment, and to have her love reciprocated was… more than she could have ever hoped for.

They get married sometime before Trespasser.

Does the Inquisitor talk to Josephine about her work to help her relieve stress?

Yes. They go on and on about it, and Taashath tries to give helpful advice, or just offer an understanding ear.

Do they enjoy it? Does it continue to occur?

Oh, yes. It becomes a regular occurrence, so much so that Josephine is always ready with wine and appetizers for Taashath’s visit. Yes, those are dates. No, they don’t realize it for quite a while. Everybody else knows but them.

Does the Inquisitor help Josephine reinstate her family’s trade in Orlais?

Of course!

If yes, do they kill the agent from the House of Repose?

No. The agent came to speak, and so did she.

Do they decide to take Josephine’s route of nullifying the contract, or Leliana’s?

Taashath would prefer doing what Leliana suggests because it’s fast and easy, but ultimately chooses to follow Josephine’s route and elevate the Du Paraquettes. Having nobles owe you favours is convenient.

CASSANDRA

What is the Inquisitor’s first impression of Cassandra?

She is mostly afraid of her, because she understands she’s in a position of power and is very, very angry at her for something she didn’t do. Does not bode well.

Does this impression change over time? If yes, how so? If not, why?

They become good work colleagues after the events of the Temple, and sometimes they share book recommendations and advice. However, Taashath does not like how Cassandra pushes for her to believe in the Maker, and her general lack of tact when it comes to asking about Taashath herself prevents them from becoming fully friends, although there is much respect between the two..

What does Cassandra think of the Inquisitor? Does this change?

Cassandra is surprised by Taashath’s prowess as a strategist and warrior, and is content with her being Inquisitor, although she disagrees with some of her choices.

Does the Inquisitor initiate a romance with Cassandra?

Nah. Taashath likes Cassandra well enough, but she regards her more as a colleague rather than a potential partner.

Does the Inquisitor find out about Cassandra’s “guilty pleasure?” If so, do they convince Varric to make the next chapter of Swords and Shields for her?

Yes. She finds it all amusing, really. She’s read Sword & Shield herself, and finds it very shallow – not to the level of poetry books that she usually reads. However, she sees how much Cassandra likes it, and sees no harm in nudging Varric towards finishing another chapter.

Does the Inquisitor help Cassandra track down hunt down criminals left unchecked by the Seekers’ absence?

Yes. She has Leliana check their backgrounds herself first, but she helps her in the end.

Does the Inquisitor go with Cassandra to Caer Oswin to find the missing Seekers?

Yes. She sees how important it is for Cassandra, and wants her at peace.

If so, does the Inquisitor support Cassandra’s idea to rebuild the Seekers, or do they discourage her from doing so?

Taashath knows what the Seekers mean to Cassandra, and she sees she’s horrified by the secrets they kept and wants to do better by them- Plus, she believes Cassandra is the perfect fit to guide them, so she lets her go. Her hope is that the Seekers of Truth will now be worthy of their name.

Does the Inquisitor support the idea of Cassandra being Divine?

Nah. Cassandra is not suited to deal with nobles, or politics. She is a firm believer, sure, but that alone is not enough. She would keep the peace at the cost of people’s lives – as much as Taashath’s respects her, she does not trust her with the Sunburst Throne.

VARRIC

What is the Inquisitor’s first impression of Varric?

She doesn’t ever really know how to respond to his jokes, but he’s an accomplished writer and a good person at heart, and she sees that. For her, it’s good enough.

Does this impression change over time? If yes, how so? If not, why?

Varric’s charisma gets to her, too, and she often drinks with him. They share stories and writing tips, and after Taashath has him read some of her own writing, he tries to hook her up with someone who might publish her poems under a pen name, successfully. Sometimes, occasionally, she vents to him, but she deals with things that are so far beyond a normal person’s understanding that he rarely knows what to say, so she tries not to make him uncomfortable. Like Dorian, he tries to get her to loosen up, but it’s actually because of their shared passion of writing that they grow fond of each other and become good friends.

What does Varric think of the Inquisitor? Does this change?

Varric’s dealings with the qunari in the past have left him wary of the people, but he also sees Taashath is genuinely trying to do what’s best. He only hopes things will turn out better than they did with Hawke, but Taashath seems better suited to deal with the situations thrown at her than Marian was.

If Varric could give the Inquisitor a nickname, what would it be?

Red. Her red eyes are the first thing he noticed about her, not to mention her red hair and coppery skin, and how she dresses. Red, to describe her, is the first thing that comes to mind.

Does the Inquisitor find and destroy the Red Lyrium sources across Thedas after learning about them from Varric?

Absolutely. It’s vital to her in destroying Corypheus, not doing so would be irresponsible.

Does the Inquisitor help Varric and Bianca find the thaig inside Valammar?

Yes.

Does the Inquisitor blame Bianca for what happened?

Yes. She loves learning more, and knowing more, and figuring out stuff. But lying? Putting people in danger? Refusing to take responsibility? That does not sit right with her.

SOLAS

What is the Inquisitor’s first impression of Solas?

She's' very uncomfortable with him grabbing her and yanking her arm, but she quickly comes to trust him - especially once she finds out he kept her alive while she was unconscious, and thanks him for his help.

Does this impression change over time? If yes, how so? If not, why?

She immediately trusts him with her doubts regarding the Anchor, and often comes to him for advice. She loves walking with him through the Fade, she loves listening to his stories, they have their own little ritual in the morning. She considers him her mentor.

What does Solas think of the Inquisitor? Does this change?

He is… surprised. He knows what she really is, where she comes from, what she comes from, and expects her to be nothing but a savage who will not understand the power she holds in her hand. Instead, Taashath reveals herself to be level-headed, reasonable, eager to learn, and interested in everything he has to say. Maybe he misjudged her people.

Does the Inquisitor help Solas find and activate elvhen artefacts to strengthen the Veil?

Yes. It’s part of the Inquisition’s job to deal with the Veil now, only natural that she would.

Does the Inquisitor help Solas rescue his friend in the Exalted Plains?

Of course. She sees how distressed he is, and she only wants to help him.

Does the Inquisitor choose to destroy the summoning stones or fight the Pride Demon?

They’re there to help Solas’s friend, even if the friend has been corrupted. Solas will deal with it when everything is over.

Does the Inquisitor let Solas kill the mages or do they stop him?

She stops him. It was all a mistake, one that was not supposed to happen, she doesn’t want him killing mages who didn’t understand what they were doing. Let them live, and learn from their experience.

How does the Inquisitor react to finding out Solas is Fen’harel?

It’s all a whirlwind of emotions. Some things make sense, others are completely upside down. That she was spending her time with an Ancient Elven God all this time, when she didn't believe in any higher power, shook her to her core.

Does the Inquisitor choose to look for Solas after he disappears? Why or why not?

Of course! She needs to know more, and knows that – deep down – Solas wants to be stopped. And she will.

SERA

Is Sera recruited?

Definitely. A network of spies that uses people no one ever expects to do this kind of work is exactly what Taashath needed.

If she is, does she ever leave the Inquisition, and why?

Absolutely not. Taashath values Sera’s network greatly, and she clearly wants to be with the Inquisition. Why turn down her help, when she gives it freely?

What is the Inquisitor’s first impression of Sera?

Amused. She doesn’t really know what to make of Sera, but her skill with a bow and her quick-witted nature are a breath of fresh air for her.

Does this impression change over time? If yes, how so? If not, why?

They have a complicated relationship. Taashath sees a lot of herself in Sera, and not in the best sense. The way she looks down upon her own heritage, the way she shuts down when something becomes too overwhelming – it’s like seeing a younger version of herself. Taashath tries to help Sera in coming to terms with her own “elfyness”, and Sera ends up doing the same for her. They help each other like that.

What does Sera think of the Inquisitor? Does this change?

Sera finds Taashath to be a beautiful woman, and she’s captivated by her. Helps her relax and keep her eyes looking towards the little people. Sera is always watchful for the moment Taashath becomes like the nobles she hates - and yet this never happens. Sera and Taashath remain good friends even after the end of the main game. She has her loyalty.

Does the Inquisitor initiate a romance with Sera?

No. Taashath finds Sera to be too young for her.

Does the Inquisitor complete the Red Jenny War Table missions?

Yes. After all, that’s why she recruited Sera in the first place.

Does the Inquisitor agree to send a presence to Verchiel for Sera?

Yes. She trusts and values Sera’s input, despite what others might say.

How does the Inquisitor deal with Lord Harmond? (Do they ally with him, force him to work for the Inquisition, let him leave, or let Sera kill him?)

Normally, Taashath tries to find a way so that her enemies can become her allies. However, after seeing how Harmond treats people, and seeing how distressed Sera was, she allows her to kill him. People like him would bring no good to the Inquisition, anyway.

VIVIENNE

Is Vivienne recruited?

Yes. Taashath is aware of who the Madame de Fer is, and is very intrigued by her invite.

If she is, does she ever leave the Inquisition, and why?

No. Taashath deeply values Vivienne as an ally and friend.

What is the Inquisitor’s first impression of Vivienne?

She’s… almost enchanted. The way she handled the confrontation with the noble, the way she got straight to business immediately. Everything from the way she was dressed to the way she acted told Taashath this was someone to keep close. Maybe she even flirted a little bit with her, with no hopes of achieving anything, of course. She’s not that deluded.

Does this impression change over time? If yes, how so? If not, why?

Taashath wished Vivienne’s opinions on the Circle were somewhat different, although she still understood where she was coming from. But she comes to respect and regard Vivienne as a dear friend, and often came to her for advice or to vent. Vivienne was always willing to help, and to offer a listening ear. They enjoyed quiet evenings together, discussing politics and drinking fine wine.

What does Vivienne think of the Inquisitor? Does this change?

At first, she saw Taashath as a rather weak leader, because of her demeanor. It does not fool VIvienne that a lot of her perceived stoicness is actually a shield. Then, she came to respect her and what she did, and regard her as a friend and valuable ally. Taashath became someone Vivienne could rely on. Does the Inquisitor help Vivienne look for the three tomes for the Circle of Magi?

Yes. It’s not exactly related to the Inquisition, but she always wishes to keep her closest ally content.

Does the Inquisitor agree to find Vivienne the heart of a Snowy Wyvern?

Yes. It’s the first time Vivienne directly asks for her help in a private matter, and she realizes this must be terribly important. Madame de Fer seems distressed also, and Taashath jumps to her help because she finds it so uncharacteristic of her.

Do they actually give Vivienne the heart, or do they give her the heart of a regular wyvern?

There is no reason to give her a fake heart, no reason not to trust Vivienne. After seeing Vivienne’s soft side, she feels more connected to her and was glad she tried to help, even if ultimately the Duke died.

Does the Inquisitor support Vivienne, the idea of Vivienne being Divine?

Not at first. She resonated more with Leliana’s ideas, and she had a mind of supporting the Left Hand of the Divine. After her personal assistant and apprentice, Sefridi Trevelyan, spoke to her in private, Taashath was more willing to support Vivienne in becoming Divine - especially because she is a mage. However, after more careful consideration and a talk with the Hero of Ferelden, Taashath ultimately chose Leliana.

BLACKWALL

Is Blackwall recruited?

Yes. The help of a Grey Warden when dealing with a darkspawn? Yes, please.

If he is, does he ever leave the Inquisition, and why?

No.

What is the Inquisitor’s first impression of Blackwall?

She is… honestly disappointed. She expected Grey Wardens to be different. For one, he does not offer much in the way of information, the very thing they recruited him for. Second, he is even reluctant to speak of his life as a Warden. But he seems like a good man and gives himself to the cause, so she values his help, although she’s not really sure he’s the best Grey Warden they could have come across.

Does this impression change over time? If yes, how so? If not, why? She is hurt that he would lie about it all, when he could have simply joined the cause as a normal warrior. She wouldn’t have kicked him out for that. After some thinking, she figures that he is truly seeking atonement, and that he should be allowed to do that. He’s helped her all this time, after all, even if it was under a false name. She’s not one to not repay favours.

What does Blackwall think of the Inquisitor? Does this change?

Surprised that Andraste would choose a qunari. But then he sees that she is a good woman, willing to do what it takes to close the Breach and defeat Corypheus, and vows to do better in regards to his own prejudices.

Does the Inquisitor help Blackwall find Grey Warden information across Thedas?

Yes. The more information they can gather, the better they can understand what’s going on. And it makes Blackwall happy, anyway.

How does the Inquisitor react to finding out Rainier’s true identity?

Very hurt at first. Why would he lie? Why would he not trust her with the truth? And then, angry. What are Leliana’s spies doing? Do they just believe anything they hear reported, not doing background checks? It’s a moment that makes her a bit paranoid, and becomes a little harsher in the way she deals with possible allies.

Do they leave them in Val Royeaux or bring them back to Skyhold for judgment?

She brings him to Skyhold for judgement. He is her soldier, she will deal with him herself. And then, she sees that he truly regrets what he did, and decides after all this is done he will become a real Warden.

DORIAN

Is Dorian recruited?

Yes. Shared trauma through time travel is the quickest way to friendship, as I said.

If he is, does he ever leave the Inquisition, and why?

No. He and Taashath basically become best of friends, always with their noses buried in books, chatting, supporting and confiding in each other. They enjoy their fair share of nights spent talking about life - lots of “I wish I could have” conversations - while enjoying some wine. Always in moderation, of course..

What is the Inquisitor’s first impression of Dorian?

Distrustful. He’s from Tevinter, and when she meets him she’s dealing with hostile Tevinters. It’s not really the best of introductions, but she’s willing to hear him out.

Does this impression change over time? If yes, how so? If not, why? Yes, absolutely. After what they’ve been through in Redcliffe, they spend much time together. Taashath is quick to trust him after their ordeal and comes to him for questions regarding magic and Tevinter – as she’s never met someone from the place besides her ex-partner, and she has no fond memories of the place. As usual, she compliments him on things, sounds flirtatious because she has kind of a way with words, he flirts back because that’s just entertaining. This goes on for a while, until he comes forward and tells her he’s not interested. It’s… awkward, she tells him she’s not interested either. Wait, you’re gay? Wait, you’re lesbian? They laugh a lot about it, and it sorts of become their way of joking with each other.  She finds his opinions on slavery gross, and tells him of her former partner’s experiences in Tevinter. It’s hard for him to accept, but she doesn’t let it go until he realizes he has much to think about.

What does Dorian think of the Inquisitor? Does this change? At first he is nervous. He’s afraid this qunari will punch him down and not trust him, but she demonstrates herself  to be a valuable ally. After what they’ve been through in Redcliffe, he knows he can count on her, and slowly comes to considering her his best friend.

Does the Inquisitor help Dorian find and track down Venatori?

Yes. It’s not only a favour for Dorian, but beneficial to the Inquisition. Two birds and all that.

Does the Inquisitor learn that Dorian’s father wishes to speak with him?

Yes.

Do they tell Dorian about the letter or not?

Of course. It’s not her place to keep anything of the sort from him.

 Do they urge Dorian to reconcile with his father, or do they let Dorian leave without reconciliation?

She understands, and she doesn’t want Dorian to feel like she’s forcing him to do something, but she tries to reason with him that this might be the last time he sees him, and if he wants to try – she’s there for him. It’s personal for her due to her own relationship with her family.

COLE

Is Cole recruited?

Yes. She found him immediately very interesting.

If he is, does he ever leave the Inquisition, and why?

No. Sometimes Taashath doesn’t know what’s best for him, but he feels useful and she finds him interesting. Almost feels a maternal instinct towards him.

What is the Inquisitor’s first impression of Cole?

His existence is something she didn’t think was possible, and is intrigued by the possibilities. She also finds his way of speaking very soothing.

Does this impression change over time? If yes, how so? If not, why?

As they spend more time together, she comes to appreciate and grows fond of Cole not just as a strange occurrence, but as a person she has grown attached to. Sure, she wants to know more about him, but she’s also eager for him to experience the world as a person, and not just a spirit perusing beyond the veil.

What does Cole think of the Inquisitor? Does this change?

She tries to drown her own light to survive, but she’s still so bright. She is gentle, kind, and she understands.

When Cole helps people, does the Inquisitor encourage their spirit-like methods (such as making people forget him and mercy killings), or convince him there are different ways to help?

She encourages him to seek out different methods of helping, and tries to help him make connections with people so that he can help them better.

Does the Inquisitor urge Cole to forgive the Templar and embrace his spirit nature, or learn to grow by confronting the Templar and becoming more human? Cole – the spirit of compassion – was in pain for what Cole – the boy – suffered through. That boy’s pain was his pain, and was she going to tell him to just forgive and forget? For starving a helpless boy? She encouraged him to do what he thought was best, and this led to Cole confronting the Templar.  

IRON BULL

Is Iron Bull recruited?

Yes. He’s a valuable asset.

If he is, does he ever leave the Inquisition, and why?

No. His contacts are important, and she… gains insight into an actual follower of the Qun.

What is the Inquisitor’s first impression of Iron Bull?

Surprised. At first she thinks he’s another Tal-Vashoth, but is left astonished when he confesses he’s a Ben-Hassrath. Asala told her of Ben-Hassrath, but still, she did not think he would be… so animated. She herself is prejudiced regarding qunari, as during the years she internalized what people said about her kind. She doesn’t know what to make of him, and this makes her anxious. She still recruits him, as his presence offers various advantages, but it’s almost like she’s studying him as well.

Does this impression change over time? If yes, how so? if not, why?

Definitely. He teaches her more about what it means living under the Qun, and helps her reconnect to this part of her heritage that she was so detached from. Their sparring sessions become a little relaxing ritual for her, and she enjoys the company of the Chargers, and admires the family bond he has with them. She envies him, in some ways. In time, this envy turns to admiration, and the two become great friends.

What does Iron Bull think of the Inquisitor? Does this change? She lives outside of the Qun, her parents are Tal-Vashoth – yet she is no savage, purposeless beast. She is a great warrior, a leader – an inspiration to many. He makes sure she knows her people well, makes sure her mental health is kept in check – it’s his job, after all. But after a while, it becomes less of a job and more something that he does out of his own volition, because she cares about her and considers her his friend.

Is the Inquisition approached by the Ben-Hassrath to secure a formal alliance?

Yes. It’s a strange moment for her. It’s still difficult for her to deal with qunari business.

During the attack of the dreadnaught, does the Inquisitor sacrifice the dreadnaught and the alliance, or Bull’s Chargers?

She knows the Chargers. She loves them. She knows how the Iron Bull loves them, and she doesn’t want him sacrificing them because he feels he’s obligated to. To hell the alliance, to hell the contacts, to hell the information – these are her people. The Bull taught her well, but doesn’t realize it. It’s one of the only “selfish” choices she makes in game.

[loveislattes]

Save Me (Infelix/Fem!Reader) Fluffy Smut

Request/(Summary): When faced with the dilemma of wedding a horrible man and going to the forest to die, Y/N easily chooses the later. Imagine her surprise at finding not a beast that would kill her, but instead a misunderstood creature who offers her more than she could ever dream.

Word Count: About 7.1k

Warnings: Mention of suicidal thoughts and intentions in the beginning of this story! Also mentions (not detailed) of abuse and adultery. Smut, obviously. Unprotected sex, biting kink, claiming kink.

Random Info:

Obviously this is a work of fiction. I do not condone running off into the sunset with someone you just met, let alone a mythical demon named Infelix (even if it's something I would do myself).

Also, please keep in mind that this was started almost a year ago and was wrapped up to a quick finish so I could finally get it posted!

Also also, I know the Swedish isn't necessary but god damn it, I LIKE IT! I just like throwing some beautiful phrases in because I love the language and I love how it sounds in intimate moments. I shouldn't have to explain this but after the “lectures” I've gotten in the past about throwing in random “foreign” phrases, I guess I will.

Also also also, this is an AU to my usual idea of Infelix. I just really liked the idea!

Translations:

Stackars flicka- poor girl

Söt flicka- sweet girl

Så ren- so pure

Du är vackrare än månen och stjärnorna- You are more beautiful than the moon and stars

An example of the first song Infelix Plays: https://youtu.be/9G5rr7JtEAc?t=40

Growing up, I always believed the tales of the Strömkarlen to be just that- tales; I never imagined that there could truly be such malevolent creatures in the forests surrounding us. Why would we choose to settle in such a horrifying location if it were true? The woods were ripe with natural predators and prey that were dangerous enough alone, but add mythical creatures into the mix and it was plain ignorant to be there.

According to the stories told often to us as children, we were never to venture into the forest at night. There were the usual wolves and bears to hunt us, but there was also a creature known as the Strömkarlen. The Strömkarlen was supposedly a forest spirit who was an exceptionally talented fiddler: the sounds of forest, wind and water played over his fiddle strings so beautifully that anyone would be entranced. One could come with a fit offering and learn to play the instrument better than any other human. Wandering women and children were supposedly not so lucky. If you wandered into his land without the intention of learning from him with a complete offering, you were never seen again. Few had meandered through the trees to come back, and those who had were simply lucky enough to have avoided the spirit somehow.

It was with this specific tale in mind that I entered the forest hesitantly. I knew I had to do something, and this was likely the easiest way to go through with it. I knew I would back out of ending my life with a blade or poison. Someone else would have to do it. Death was a much better option than what awaited me in less than a week, on my twenty-fifth birthday. A shudder of repulsion sent shivers through my body. Just the thought of being forced to marry that man made the sick come to the back of my throat. I had been “lucky” enough to be chosen as our town head's next wife, as I was still “pure” and unwed. Even as our country took large leaps forward for women's rights daily, our town seemed to stay in the darkest of ages.

I had to escape; both the toxic community and a fate that would be only pain until my death. Everyone had heard the horror stories of being his wife. Hell, he had gone through three wives in just as many years. The bruises could not go unnoticed by anyone with seeing eyes, and the screams that echoed through dark quiet streets were unbearable to those with listening ears.

I refocused my thoughts on my path ahead and tried to put off my nervous energy by humming. It felt good to fill the silence with some noise other than my quiet footsteps. The woods were daunting during the day, but at night they were downright ominous. I had expected the forest floor to be alive with nocturnal creatures going about their menial tasks. Instead, there was a reticence. Moonlight shone sparsely through the treetops just enough to light my way. It would be a soothing experience if not for the end goal.

A heavy sigh pushed through my nostrils at the internal war waging in my gut; the instinctual will of self-preservation battling heartily with the need to save my soul from being tainted by him. If only I could find the Strömkarlen before a beast found me first. I felt if I had been wandering for hours by now, but surely it had only been an hour at the most.

Suddenly there was a shift in the air, almost imperceptible to even my alert senses, and I stopped dead in my tracks. It was like something was dancing unseen at my peripheral vision, or there was a faint buzzing too far away to actually make out and hear. Did that mean he was here? Had I found him? How did I ask for him without being rude? Did he have a name?

“Why have you come here, söt flicka? For what reason do you seek me out? You are not searching for knowledge of the strings.”

Oh how my cheeks heated, being called such an endearing term by a voice so husky, so deep, so near. Despite how alluring his tone might be, there was an underlying inhuman echo that reverberated through every bone in my body, reminding me of the danger he presented. Fingers touched my cheek and directed my face to the side, where I was greeted by both a terrifying and glorious sight. He was-

“Beautiful.”

The word escaped senselessly and immediately I regretted my slip of the tongue. How would a powerful being take to a human fawning over him? There was no denying who he was, power rolling off him in waves.

Thankfully, the man simply grinned in response. His black eyes crinkled in apparent amusement as he leaned back and looked me over.

“Well? I'm waiting for an answer,” he prompted, eyebrow lifting pointedly.

“I- I'm- uh, sorry! So sorry! I- My name is Y/N. I was hoping- Oh gods this is harder than I thought. You see, I need to die.”

Tumultuous mortification clawed up my neck and coated my face darkly as I shied away from his now narrowed gaze.

“Come again?”

“I- uh,” I hesitated and shyly brought my fingers together, toying nervously with my nails as I gathered up the courage to speak my request once more, “I have come to ask you to kill me. There is something horrible waiting for me if I return home and I'm too much of a coward to take my own life. I've heard stories of how you abduct or kill- or something- the people that wander into your lands.”

He stepped back and rose to his full height, startling me as I realized just how tall he was. I was only a few inches over five feet and he towered over me. I couldn't resist looking him over. He looked surprisingly human for a mythological being, although there were obvious traits of his genetics; the black eyes, white hair, unnaturally pale skin, and elf-like ears. When he smiled, I was momentarily entranced by the large, sharp, canines he flashed.

“I doubt there could be anything awaiting you that would be worse than death, child,” he replied pointedly, “Much less death by my hands.”

Mustering up all the courage I could, I swallowed thickly and crossed my arms over my chest, meeting his gaze head-on.

“With all due respect, sir, you have no idea what I would be returning home to. If I go...” emotion lumped tightly in my throat as I took a steadying breath before I could continue, “If I go back, I'm being forced into marriage with a man who is a well-known adulterer, abuser, and murderer. I would rather die quickly than be raped and beaten until I die by his hands.”

All of the gumption I had managed to hold onto to fell through the cracks like sand the moment a low rumble left his throat. Fists clenched, he craned his neck so sharply that I cringed subconsciously for him and shuddered at the loud cracking that filled the air. Then his eyes were back on me.

I prepared to be struck down, eyes shut instinctively to brace for the oncoming pain, and ignored the pounding of my heart beating erratically in my chest as best I could. What good would panic do? This is what I had come here for.

“Oh söt flicka, stackars flicka,” he cooed softly.

Surprised by the response, my eyes popped open, only to find his hands coming towards me, much slower than expected. Cupping my jaw, he leaned in, leaving merely an inch or two between our noses. My breath caught in my throat under the intensity in his dark coal eyes. What was he doing? He could just snap my neck and be done with it! Or maybe torture was part of his plan.

“You have such a bright soul. It would hurt me to extinguish it before you could blossom to your full potential.”

“What?”

Shocked, my reply came out blunt and rude, and I quickly backtracked with a much kinder apology, and a request for clarification.

“I know the stories of my kind. Some of us are just as is foretold, but I am not. I'm gifted with the ability to see the true alignment of one's nature, and I only steal away those who have been corrupted or wish to be saved. Do you think the ones who have returned to you unharmed have done so without reason?”

I shrugged slightly and replied, “I guess so. We were told that anyone who met one of the Strömkarlen was killed unless they had proper gifts. It only made sense that you'd just missed the ones who came home unharmed.”

He clicked his tongue loudly and gave a disappointed shake of his head.

“I'm not as brutal as some of my kin, not without provocation at the least,” he explained, “You are one of true good. Your kind are rarer these days, with the corruption spreading through our lands. I only presented myself to you because you were searching for me, otherwise, I would have just let you wander until you found your way back home.”

I nodded in understanding, chewing on my lip pensively as I let the situation sink in. When his thumbs rubbed the apples of my cheeks, a blush spread over them in response and I met his gaze once more.

“I do not wish to kill you. It would go against my nature. Perhaps though, you'd be willing to stay for a while? I could play you a song while you think your decision through.”

Hesitantly, I nodded after a moment. I was steadfast in my decision but what could it hurt to wait a while longer? Plus I had to admit I was curious to hear his music. Never one to look a gift horse in the mouth, I quickly agreed out loud, to sit and listen to him.

He seemed pleased by the answer, stepping back with a grin. A hand sifted through his shaggy locks before he extended it in my direction. I carefully laid my hand in his and was startled by the gentle way his fingers wrapped around mine. It was completely baffling to realize that a creature I'd feared for my entire life was so gentle.

“Good. Come with me then,” he replied.

If I did not have him as a guide, I would be no doubt lost in the maze of the tremendous forest. There were so many twists and turns around gigantic trees and gnarly roots. The trek was incredibly beautiful though, even in the darkness, thanks to illuminated creatures and plant life I'd never laid eyes on before. I was so lost in feasting on the stunning land around me that I nearly face-planted into the Strömkarlen's back as he stopped suddenly and I finally registered the sound of rushing water around us. Thankfully he seemed to take my fumble in stride, a small chuckle filling the air instead of a bitter response.

“Come sit,” he instructed.

Hands gently directed me to the first large tree stump and he took the one across from me, no more than a foot away. As he sat, he waved a hand through the air, materializing a fiddle from nowhere. I'm sure I looked as bewildered as I felt, eyes wide and mouth gaping.

A humored grin flitted across his features before his expression settled into one of contentment. I shifted into a more comfortable crisscross position as he prepared himself.

“It's been a while since I've had an audience rather than a student,” he commented, aligning the instrument between his chin and chest.

The look that he sent my way spoke honest loneliness and I felt a pang in my chest, like fingers squeezing tightly around my heart. I'd never considered what kind of life a being must live when alone in the forest, shielded from nearly all contact. Honestly, though, I'd never considered the fact that his kind had emotions either. We were never enlightened on the fact that they might be more like us than realized.

I was pulled from my thoughts when the bow first slid across the strings. Immediately I became entranced by the alluring tune. It was jaunty yet haunting. Quick strokes of the bow and dancing fingers enraptured all of my attention. I could easily understand why others would put their life on the line for a chance to learn from him. He was incredible. As beguiling as his looks were, his music was even more so. As the song continued, I felt myself slowly relaxing, enjoying the moment as everything else faded away. Time and space floated away on the wind until there was only him and his music.

As his tune seamlessly led into a lighter one, I finally forced my eyes from his hands to his face. Those intense black eyes were now closed; a warm, easy smile resting on his lips. Once more I was struck by his beauty; my heart aching with the perfection he exuded. It wasn't until my hand neared his cheek that I realized I had moved in closer. Butterflies stormed my belly as I hesitated that last inch. What would happen if I touched him? Would that break the spell around us? Would it ruin the calm? Would he be mad?

Suddenly those onyx black eyes flicked opened and I was struck frozen by the stark white iris' gazing back at me. The music stopped, stilling the air around us as his fiddle disappeared into the abyss once more. Swallowing hard, I ever so slowly began to move my hand away, only for my wrist to be caught.

“I'm-

My tongue failed me and silence bloomed once more. His grip lessened but didn't retreat, instead guiding me closer once more, pressing my palm to his cheek. A shaky, startled breath fled my lips as his warmth saturated my chilled skin. The soft hairs of his beard tickled my wrist as I allowed myself to momentarily indulge in the contact.

“Söt flicka,” he murmured softly, “Så ren.”

My insides felt full of fire as he mimicked my motions, his fingers soothingly stroking down my cheek. So many emotions barraged my chest. Overall the sensations of excitement and elation stood out. Why did being in his presence cause such a reaction?

“Have you changed your mind?” he questioned.

“I- I don't know,” I admitted quietly, “How can I return home to marry a man who will only do the same I ask of you, but in a more brutal fashion? How can I willingly lie in the bed of a man who would steal my innocence in a way that would leave me scarred? How can-”

I was shocked silent as his arm suddenly hooked around my back and pulled me closer. There was a fire in his gaze as I gave in to his pull. Breathing became a struggle as I found myself in his lap, the in and out becoming an action I had to consciously think of lest I cause myself to pass out. He was entirely intimidating this close up, and yet I couldn't look away.

“I did not say that you would live only to be broken in the end.”

When he didn't elaborate on his words, I cautiously spoke up and asked, “What do you mean?”

There was a twitch in his lips before they curved into a sly smile. A darkness I hadn't yet seen resonated in that smirk and it sent a shiver down my spine.

“I suppose I cannot fault you for being ignorant. I can only imagine all the tales your elders have spun to you over the years, stackars flicka, and I have not corrected those stories yet. As I stated before, I take away those who have been corrupted. Albeit, rarely I travel out of my home for such as they generally find their way to me eventually, but in extenuating circumstances... I have been known to wander about.”

It took a moment to process his explanation but then the weight of his words settled in my gut.

“Oh.”

“One stealing purity and ending lives, much less for his own gratification, has no place in my realm of the land,” he added lowly.

Slowly his thumb traced down the apple of my cheek to my mouth, the calloused pad swiping teasingly over my bottom lip and igniting another kind of excitement low in my belly. I attempted to clear my mind of the sudden, forbidden, invasion of thoughts only to have worse images push forth as his tongue darted out to trace his lips.

Never had I been this close to a man, felt this kind of attraction and excitement. In fact, when most approached me with offers to bed me, I easily turned them down. If the man beneath me were to offer the same though, I knew I would easily find myself agreeing. Was it an unnatural ability of his that was luring me in, or had I finally found someone that I wanted?

My skin crawled with unease as I battled the thoughts plaguing my mind, and I felt the need to fill the silence before I fell prey to my own desires.

“Do you have a name?” I blurted out suddenly.

I had to cringe immediately as I realized how weak and nervous I sounded. There was no way he couldn't sense the war waging in my brain now.

He confirmed my fears with his sudden, boisterous laughter. Embarrassment wound tightly in my chest as my face flushed warmly.

“My name is unpronounceable in your tongue, but you may call me Infelix,” he replied once his laughter died down.

“Infelix,” I repeated, testing the name curiously.

Immediately I felt a shift in the air, a layer of tension growing stronger between us, as his fingers dug snugly into my lower back to pull me closer.

“Beautiful,” he muttered, then paused before adding, “May I kiss you?”

I could only blink at him in confusion for a few moments, at a loss for words, until finally, I managed a slight nod. How could I turn that down? Why would I want to? Surely he had to know how much I wanted him.

My thoughts were derailed the moment his lips touched mine. It was gentle, so much softer than I could have expected, and he ended it much quicker than I'd hoped. Though before he could pull away completely, I gave in those pesky dark desires and jerked him back down by his beard. I knew nothing of how this was supposed to go, other than the few peeks I'd seen in my younger years, but I let my guts lead my actions. Hands sliding into his hair, I pressed my lips hard against his, praying that he wouldn't be upset.

A low growl rumbled from his chest and stopped me dead in my tracks. Had I overstepped an unspoken boundary? Fear began to bubble up in my chest and I went to pull away, hands dropping down into my lap, but was caught with an aggressive hold on the nape of my neck; his hand on my back mimicking the hold.  

“Little temptress,” he groaned quietly, “Do you know what restraint you are asking of me?”

My tongue wet my lips nervously as he finally leaned back enough to meet my gaze again.

“To resist such an alluring invite is harrowing,” he added.

“I- I don't mean to cause you trouble. I'm- I just- I've never felt this before. I'm not sure what's acceptable if you would even want me...”

A low sigh escaped his nose as he shut his eyes, seemingly in pain or frustration. After far too long, his eyelids opened once more and I found myself cascading into those inky dark depths.

“The fact you question that is laughable, söt flicka. I want nothing more than to have you laid out beneath me at this moment, but-”

“Then do it,” I cut him off quickly, throwing caution to the wind at the sudden mental image of him on top of me, “Please.”

There were many different worries floating through my head but what stood out above them all was my desire for him. A need, craving, that could only be sated by him and his touch.

"You're certain of this?" he asked seriously, "Do not make this decision lightly, for I doubt I could let you go once I've had you."

A shudder climbed up my spine at just the thought of being allowed to remain here with him. Why did I want that so badly? Here was a man, a powerful non-human being, that I had just met, and I was throwing myself at him as if I'd wanted him for years. As I pondered my options, I started to understand why being with him was so appealing. He presented an exciting offer; an opportunity for a life that had never before been in my realm of possibility. It was hard finding more reasons to decline his offer than to accept it.

"If I say yes, you're truly offering me a place here? And I would be safe?" I questioned carefully.

"You have my word that I would protect you to the ends of the dimensions," he replied.

Nibbling on my lip, I hesitated before finally asking the question burning on the tip of my tongue.

"Why me? Of all the others who have wandered through?"

His dark eyes narrowed in apparent thought and the fingers on my lower spine began to trace small designs against the fabric of my shirt soothingly. I felt the hairs raise on my skin in response to his touch and had to force myself to keep still rather than wiggle under the light tickle. We sat in silence for quite some time after my question. I didn't care to rush him if I were being honest, and the answer was well worth the wait anyhow. It was a pretty heavy subject.

When he spoke, I nearly fell from his lap with my startle, but he easily caught me and continued on speaking as if nothing had occurred.

"No others have sought me for reasons other than to seek knowledge. No others have been willing to listen to my songs without it being hinged on learning to play. We do not tend to feel loneliness or emotions quite the same as humans, but there is a certain appeal to having someone here with me again. It's been a very long time since I last had a companion to converse with regularly..." he paused when a devious look swept over his face, "And it has been even longer since I've been presented with someone so beautiful."

Embarrassed under the lavish compliment, I let my face fall and stared bashfully at the stitching on my blouse.

“Come now, little one, don't be so shy,” Infelix crooned lowly, fingers coming to push my chin up once more, “Do you have an answer? Or would you like to think about it a while longer?”

While it was easy to tell his offer to wait was sincere, I could also still sense the eagerness behind his words. He had been alone for so long already. Why would I prolong that?

Still mindful of any possible unknown boundaries, I reached up once more and threaded my fingers into his soft locks. His eyes fluttered shut while an easy smile spread across his lips. A little content sigh escaped him while my fingers lightly ran along his scalp. Just seeing this happiness made my heart pitter-patter giddily. Very gently I pulled his hair to tilt his head back then leaned in.

This kiss was just as lovely as the last, sending warmth from my heart all the way to my fingers and toes. I couldn't help but wonder if all kisses were like this, or if it was because of him?

My thoughts were quickly derailed as his hands moved down along my back and came to rest on my bottom. Instinctively my breath caught and my grip tightened on his hair as fire raced through my belly. His fingertips felt as if they were laced with lightning, my skin tingling under his touch even through my clothing. A pitiful whine left my lips when he pulled away quickly.

“Is this a yes, Y/N?” he urged.

Somehow, his tone had dropped to an even lower octave than before and hearing that delicious voice utter my name... I felt lost. It took a few moments to gather my wits about me and remember that he was waiting on an answer.

“Yes, it's a yes,” I replied breathlessly.

Almost instantly he crushed his mouth against mine as if his life depended on the contact. I drew in a sharp breath of surprise only to have his tongue dip between my lips. Gods, the sensation of his tongue along mine had my thighs clenching as tightly as possible against his. Never before had I felt this all-encompassing desire to have someone touch me everywhere. It was inebriating. When he jerked away, I wasn't even given enough time to pout for immediately his lips resurfaced on my throat, right beneath my jawline. The scratch of his facial hair against my tender skin left shudders quaking through my body. Exhilarating, yet daunting. Just from the first kiss to this was already a huge leap.

“Don't be scared, söt flicka. I may not be human but I am no monster,” he murmured against my neck.

Oh no! How could he think I was scared of him?!

“I'm not!” I quickly reassured him, “I wasn't shivering from fear. Although I'm nervous, it's not you that I'm worried about. Just that fact that I've never been with a man of any sort.”

He let out a noise of understanding before his lips were once more moving down my throat, making his way to the valley between my breasts. It caused such delightful sensations throughout my body, and excitement in places I'd never admit aloud.

“I'm honored to be the first to touch you,” he mumbled, then added in a darker tone, “And the last.”

Hearing him stake his claim out loud sent shivers down my spine. My focus was brought back to his mouth when his tongue, warm and wet, trailed along the neckline of my blouse. It was like no matter where his mouth was, it felt directly connected to the apex of my thighs.

“You need to fear nothing anymore, Y/N. You are mine now,” he sighed just loud enough for me to hear, “No one shall harm you as long as I stand on this earth.”

My cheeks flushed deeper at the passion in his voice and I carefully ran my hands over his broad shoulders as he left wet patches along my skin. A sudden nip of his sharp teeth tore a shaky gasp from deep in my throat. The stinging pain actually felt nice.

“Let's take this off,” he murmured, fingers hooking beneath my top.

It was only a piece of cloth yet it symbolized so much more. A part of my conscience begged me to stop now and turn back, but it was easy enough to beat it away the moment Infelix's fingers grazed my sides teasingly. Another electric spark. My chest felt heavily as he finally pulled up my shirt.

Swallowing hard, I resisted the urge to cover up as insecurity reared its ugly head. It was the sensation of his hands pressing against my ribs that kept me from moving. His touch was grounding, delightful.

“Du är vackrare än månen och stjärnorna.”

I honestly had no idea what he had said, but it was incredibly bewitching coming from his tongue.

Infelix pulled me closer as he claimed my mouth and washed away any remaining uncertainty. Oh, how good he tasted. Ambrosia from the gods. I wasn't sure how long we spent exploring the other's mouth, but it wasn't long enough. The rest of my existence could be spent like this with him and I'd never complain.

Our embrace was interrupted rather abruptly when I went careening backward, only to be caught at the last second and lowered carefully to the ground rather than landing painfully as I had expected.

“Allow me to show you how you deserve to be treated,” he purred.

Despite being a statement, it was obviously a question of consent. Catching his eye, I gave a shy nod and was rewarded with a grand smirk. Heat blossomed over my cheeks as his long, nimble digits ran down my skin and cupped my breasts lightly. He started easy, feather-light touches stealing my breath as I relaxed under him, but over time began to explore more. Pinching, rubbing, tweaking; He did things that I hadn’t expected before, but suddenly didn't want to live without.

A sudden shock of pain drew surprised tears to my eyes as his teeth left marks in my flesh but it was easily forgiven the moment his lips graced my hardened nipple.

“Do you enjoy when I bite you?” he asked gruffly.

“Y-Yes,” I murmured.

It was as if a switch was flipped. Although still obviously restraining himself some, Infelix wasted no time sinking his teeth into nearly every bare inch of my torso. There were moments it was almost too much but it seemed he could sense my discomfort when it neared that point and he would always move onto another location. Down farther and farther he went along my stomach until he paused at the waist of my pants.

“May I?”

“Of course,” I replied softly.

His constant checking in was endearing, albeit unexpected. There was no denying how good of a soul he had, despite being something of horrifying legends.

Biting my lip, I watched nervously as he hooked his fingers under the cloth and slowly pulled them down. What if he decided he didn't like how I looked? What if he compared me to his past lovers? What if--

Warm lips on the inside of my right thigh pulled my thoughts from the brink of panic and back to the ebony orbs staring up at me, as if reading my thoughts and sensing the negativity. Once he appeared certain I was focusing on him, he pushed my legs apart and up so I sat completely open to him. Oh hell! My heart raced and my breath shook as I watched him lean in, a devious smile playing on his lips.

“Aah!”

My gasp quickly turned into a surprised squeak as his tongue delved into my untouched folds. I'd been told once by one of my lady friends that this was something a rare few people indulged in, but of course, I'd never understood the full grasp of just what it was or why; until now.

Mindlessly, I clawed at the soft dirt of the earth and tried oh so hard not to make any embarrassing noises. Oh, but it was hard, so hard. It was as if every sensation I had was suddenly kicked up to one hundred. The cool soil felt like silk beneath my nails as I left behind crevices in the ground. The noises of the forest creatures that were so minute before flared back to life with vigor. Every flick of his nimble tongue against my body felt simultaneously molten and icy, saccharine in the best of ways.

When he pulled back slightly, an unstoppable whimper left my lips.

“You do not need to be so quiet, älskling. There is no one else around to hear you.”

He... wanted me to make noise? Men had been ensuring my silence all of my life, and while Infelix was different, one could never be certain.

“You're sure?” I questioned nervously.

A sharp bite dug into the squishy part of my thigh, tearing a shocked yelp from my mouth, before he chuckled darkly.

“Of course, Y/N. I want to know how I'm making you feel, when I'm doing something you love,” Infelix replied.

“O-Okay,” I murmured.

He wasted no time going back to his previous motions, but with much quicker strokes than before. The pleasure was so immense that I didn't even notice him moving until a slender digit was pressing its way into my core. If my brain were any more coherent, I'm sure I'd have registered the discomfort more, but as it was, it was barely a blip in my thoughts. It wasn't until he thrust it in deeper that a real niggle of pain came through.

With a hiss, I fought against the fight-or-flight response that bubbled to life and kept still under him. It wasn't that bad, I told myself, I knew there could be pain at some point.

Despite the logic part of my brain trying to keep my emotional part calm, I couldn't help the edge of worry that now stood out so brightly; And just when things were so good!

Infelix mumbled something that I couldn't quite make out but it didn't seem to matter once his finger pushed against something inside me that quite literally knocked the wind out of me. My thighs clamped around his head as I jerked to nearly sit up and uncontrollable moans poured out with a cry of his name. Tears pooled behind my closed lids. So good, and yet too much! How was one supposed to handle this?! Another crook of his finger and I went tumbling back to the ground, releasing my hold on him in favor of scratching at the grass and moaning praises.

A throaty laugh filled my ears as the only warning before he repeated the motion, not stopping afterward this time, instead quickening both finger and tongue.

“I-Infelix, I- Oh!”

With a shake of his head, he buried his face further into the apex of my thighs and then I felt a sucking on my sensitive nub. He was going to make my heart stop if something didn't give! The way his tongue moved in such perfect motions, slow then quick, hard then light, I could feel my entire body trembling as sweat beaded across my skin.

“Yes, that's it. Duktig flicka. Come for me,” he growled.

It was a battle to keep from thrashing, my entire body screaming at me to wrap around him and squeeze him tight while soaking up every sensation he was lavishly gifting me. My nails marked harsh crescents into his shoulders as my head snapped back with a scream. It was with great embarrassment and ecstasy that the knot in my belly finally broke.

“Infelix! Oh gods!”

A cold snarl joined my frantic moans and cries as I marked up his flawless skin. The dangerous noise only added another level of pleasure through my veins. It seemed he finally took pity on my frantic twitching and whining after some time, and drew back with a husky chuckle.  

“Your sounds are the most angelic I've heard in my lifetime. I could listen to you singing my name for days,” he moaned roughly, “Alas, I know your body can only take so much. Thankfully, there will be many more days to cherish you.”

As mortifying as it was to hear such praise, the need to have him was more powerful. I couldn't wait to experience him in whole after that experience. I was practically burning up with the need to feel his skin against mine, have him fill the places that ached for him so.

“Please,” I whimpered, “Infelix, please.”

With a devilish smirk, the gorgeous demon leaned over me once more and rested on one forearm by my head, his hand sinking into my hair while the other reached between us. The shock of his hot length pressing against my entrance had me jumping and gasping.

“It's okay, Y/N. I've got you,” he murmured.

Before I had the chance to respond, a sharp pain shot through my core and an unbelievable fullness overcame my senses. Unable to control it, a weak cry of pain escaped and I found myself clinging onto him for comfort. Soft whispers filled the air around us and gentle kisses brushed against my lips, no doubt an attempt to distract me from the pain. It worked, very, very well. My hands found his shaggy locks and held on for dear life as he began moving.

No actual pain, but definitely not comfortable yet. Thankfully Infelix took incredible care with each rock of his hips. Whether it was from the incredible build-up or his extensive knowledge, the pressure and discomfort soon turned to unbelievable pleasure.

“Oh, Infelix. This- You- Amazing!”

He cut my stammered words off with a heady kiss and chose that moment to pick up the speed of his hips.

It was madness. Nothing on earth should feel as good as he felt. I was drowning in the bliss pounding through my being and wasn't sure I ever wanted to come back up. And then it hit me hard. This was now part of my life, my future. I could get lost in this beautiful, inhuman, man whenever we wished, and if it was this good now, how would it feel many times from now when we were more comfortable? That thought alone brought me near the breaking point once more.

“Good girl,” Infelix groaned as our lips broke apart, “Let me feel you come undone.”

His fingers immediately dove between us and found my oversensitive bundle of nerves. As if on command, my world crashed down around me once more, somehow even better than before. I could feel the burning in my throat as I screamed for him again, but couldn't bring myself to stop it. The ecstasy seemed unrelenting, surging higher with every thrust of his body into mine.

“Are you going to take all of me, Y/N?” he gasped out, nipping at my lower lip with a groan.

Speaking was impossible at this point so I nodded frantically at him. Of course I wanted everything he could give! He'd opened the gates to something so sinfully heavenly that I couldn't wait to have everything.

A heart-stopping snarl escaped his mouth before he latched onto my lips hungrily. Suddenly his hand jolted from between and snagged my jaw, shoving my head aside while his mouth resurfaced against my throat.

“Mine. All mine.”

Blinding pain seared through my neck without warning and set off another round of earth-shattering bliss as it quickly turned to pleasure. Between all the emotions and sensations, I felt him slow in pace and the warmth spilling into my core. It was with hot cheeks that I realized exactly what had occurred. Part of me found it terribly mortifying, but the majority of me found it incredibly arousing. He was true to his word; I was now his in all senses of the word. A little grin curved my lips at the realization and I gave in to the need to touch him again, wrapping my arms around his shoulders as he rested his forehead against my temple.

“You are incredible, älskling,” he muttered lowly, “How are you feeling?”

I took a few moments to inventory everything that I was feeling and couldn't help but laugh a little.

“I feel wonderful. It's unbelievable that something I feared and worried over for so long turned out to be so... exciting.”

Infelix pulled back after a gentle kiss and immediately I missed his warmth and weight. As if sensing this, he patted my leg lightly and offered a smile.

“We need to get you to an actual bed with some water and food.”

…..

The sound of a door shutting tore me from the sweet embraces of sleep. Who could be coming into my house at night? As I slowly started to sit up, a dull ache bloomed all throughout my lower body and reality hit. I wasn't at home, and that meant the only person that could be entering the home would be the very man who had caused the delicious burning now plaguing my bottom half.

As soon as Infelix entered the bedroom, my face flared uncontrollably hot as he started stripping his clothing. The dancing flame of the candle from the corner of the room made the sight a dozen times more sinfully beautiful. I hadn't quite gotten to see just how toned his body was before. He was slender but not in an unhealthy manner. For a moment, it made my thoughts drop negatively as I compared my curvier form to his. He dropped his shirt aside and turned towards the bed, smirking when our gazes met. The bad thoughts were easily dismissed at the hunger and longing in his expression.

“You're awake. How do you feel? Do you need anything?”

I had to giggle at his concern.

“I'm okay, and no thank you. I appreciate the offer.”

A squeak of surprise escaped as he launched himself suddenly at the bed and immediately I found myself pinned under him. My heart hammered hard in my chest, as he rubbed his nose along mine, barely brushing our lips together.

“I want you to know that the man you feared shall no longer be a threat to anyone,” he spoke after a few minutes of silence, his voice serious and low, “While he would never be able to bring harm to you while you are with me, I could not sit by and allow him to hurt any other innocent either.”

For sometime I couldn't react. I wasn't sure how to react. There was something akin to guilt bubbling up, but relief came through most. Relief that I had somehow avoided that horrible situation. Relief that I hadn't just passed the curse onto some other poor woman. Guilt that I should feel bad that a human being had been killed, and yet honestly didn't.

“His soul was dirtier and more tainted than I had seen in years, min söt flicka. I don't know how he escaped my knowledge for so long, and for that, I apologize but I promise he will no longer hurt anyone.”

Hesitantly, I brought my palm to his face and ran my thumb along his sharp cheek bone before pulling him into a gentle kiss.

“Thank you. For everything.”

[janiedean]

hello dearest (not) anon, excuse me if I don’t reply to you directly but as I want to block each single one of you I’ll keep the original so I can lovingly delete it after I’m finished. :)

now, I was this tempted to just delete or troll you, but as y’all have honestly seemed to not realize that you’ve gone overboard and that I didn’t want to get further involved with this dumb shipwar but you’re basically making me go like

so fine, whatever, I’ll address this one because it has all the single dumbest arguments we could have and I kind of want it for safekeeping, so.

point one: starting an ask with you freaks and then complain we don’t complain about jaime calling brienne ugly makes me wonder if you actually re-read your asks before you send them or if you even bother to make sure they’re internally coherent, because sorry but you’re basically saying this entire fandom is made of **freaks** which last I know was not a compliment to anyone’s aesthetic, so you already don’t have ground to stand on;

point two: stupid is actually a universally degrading word when referred to a specific person and used to undermine their intelligence, especially if continuously repeated. now, in *itself* it’s not damning - an argument can be stupid, a discussion can be stupid (I mean I’ve seen people savagely arguing over who had to wash the dishes, that’s a stupid reason to argue with anyone), a law can be stupid (all of italian bureaucracy is definitely a challenge for anyone for one), of course it’s all about how it’s used. for one, if used ironically and not meaning it, as in ‘my stupid son charging against dragons’, it’s not damning either, because wow, wait a moment, every single person who says that also knows that jaime is doing that out of ptsd fight instinct and that there’s nothing funny about it, but as we are people outside the narrative who love the character, we don’t mean it in a demeaning way. obviously charging at a dragon is suicidal, and it’s exactly what he’d have done (probably also in book canon I’ll give them that), but we all know why he did it, and btw dork is nowhere near on the same level as the stupidest lannister, it can be meant positively as well and tbh it’s used way more positively than that - I mean, there’s dorks in love and idiots in love as ao3 tags, no one uses them to insult the people in the ship they’re writing about now, do they? however, the whole thing about ‘the stupidest lannister’ is completely different because it implies cersei, someone jaime trusts implicitly and who’s his sister and, to him, also his lover and his other half - going by your own/their own definition - continuously demeaning his intelligence. now, I don’t think you quite realize how emotional abuse works or how that works, but let me tell you: if people you are that close with or have a fundamental impact in your upbringing (your parents, your siblings, your first teachers etc.) tell you that all the time, you end up believing that. and what comes with it? if you think you’re more stupid then them, then it means that their decisions will be better than yours because you’re too dumb to take them properly and they’re not, and you won’t even start to wonder that maybe they’re wrong and you’re right, and it’s an exceedingly common thing that happens between abusers and their victims, ie convincing them that they’re not smart enough to know what’s good for themselves, and so coming from cersei who also doesn’t want jaime to put two and two together and realize he’s a different person from her and actually, worse, doesn’t even consider the possibility that he might actually not be a different person from her, it’s straight up emotional abuse of the ugliest kind and it has nothing to do with *fans of the character* calling him a dork over his utter lack of smoothness when hitting on people, because we know why he doesn’t know how to hit on people. other than that, in the show they made jaime canonically dyslexic. now, if you even don’t get that calling someone stupid for thirty years will do a great fucking lot of damage to them (I mean, I’ve been told I was snobbish for three years by a teacher I didn’t even particularly admire in my formative years and I still have to finish unpacking the consequence of that shit, I can’t imagine being constantly demeaned by your relatives or people you trust implicitly) I doubt you’ll realize the fucking wrongness depths of the implication that the only lannister with a canon in-show learning disability is *the stupidest lannister* especially when there’s still the stigma about dyslexic people being dumb because *they can’t read* when that’s not true at all and they just need different ways of approaching a text and then they’re good to go and it has nothing to do with how smart or no they aren’t, but I’m going to tell you: it’s ableist as hell, falls under harmful stereotypes about dyslexic people that tv shows should go against, not reinforce and it has really disgusting connotations, so excuse me if I am pressed about it and other people are pressed about it and your opinion belongs in the trash and I really hope you’re not a teacher not are planning to become one;

point three: now we go at how you don’t get at all how those two work and how brienne’s character is structured, but here, let me explain you: a) jaime calls her ugly when they meet and after he loses the hand he only calls her ugly in his head and/or to her face when he’s irritated or she has misunderstood his intentions or he feels hurt by the fact that she misunderstood his intentions (when he gives her oathkeeper in the books), and in the show he stopped mid S3. on the other side, she calls him an oathbreaker and all the worst things she can call him - if you missed it, they insult each other and they start their relationship thinking the worst of the other person, and even with that he spends the entire first chapter of his in asos checking her out but you didn’t notice that I suppose; b) jaime does not call her ugly at all after he punches ronnet connington and in the show again he hasn’t since mid s3, and given that they were supposed to start as enemies and she insulted him right back, I won’t be here being pressed about them trading insults when the entire point of the story is that they stop insulting each other after they get to know each other and get closer to each other, or have you missed that too? c) the fact that he calls her ugly is actually narratively important because let me explain you something that you don’t know because you obv. haven’t read brienne’s chapters: most of the time she remembers being hurt by other men when it comes to her feelings, it’s when she found out they lied to her about her looks. she got her first trauma related to her looks when her septa told her that people who called her pretty were lying, and she got hurt during the bet with hyle and so on because those people were courting her and telling her nice things and then they were all planning on screwing her literally and metaphorically, so if someone went to brienne and told her ‘oh hey you look hot as hell let’s bang!!’, she wouldn’t believe them. let me guarantee you, she wouldn’t. the fact that jaime did not compliment her at all if not going all the way around to do it about her fighting prowess and maskerading it as insults means that he never lied to her about her looks or about anything, and the fact that then he changes and genuinely respects her and trusts in her and gives her THE THING SHE’S WANTED MOST IN HER LIFE ie a sword and a knightly quest and someone actually believing she could be a knight and carry out her vows instead of thinking she was a joke weights a lot more than any insult he might have thrown at her in the past and actually, she can trust him to not make fun of her/she can know for sure he’s not joking exactly because he never had a problem with calling her ugly (which she knows she is according to westeros beauty standards in the beginning) nor to tell her mean things when he thought them, and so since he never lied to her before and she can see that he changed, she has no reason to think he could or would lie to her after, and considering that most of her trauma is tied to having been lied to in that sense... sorry but no, it doesn’t bother me at all because if it’s an enemies to lovers kind of trope I really don’t think I’d expect him to gift her flowers at their first meeting. I mean, *enemies* to *lovers* implies that at the beginning they don’t like each other, or did you forget that words have meanings? also, hairy is not an insult. I suppose that for people who insult other people about the peach fuzz mustache most women have it would be an insult, but let me tell you: it’s not. and given that I’ve seen posts over posts about how it’s an expression of feminism to not shave I really think you haven’t even checked that discourse lately - personally I don’t care for it but like, having body hair is not automatically a crime nor a reason why you’re unattractive. get lost. and like, excuse me if insults traded by people who didn’t know each other and that they both outgrew when they did know each other are nowhere near on the same level of making someone think they’re too fucking stupid to take their own decisions and always have to follow someone else’s lead, and excuse me if I’m way more than mildly worried that anyone in this fandom would look at that stupidest lannister bullshit and actually don’t feel horrified at it.

now, honestly, can y’all just stop with this grasping at straws which happens to also be ableist as hell while pretending to give a fuck about brienne as a character - because you don’t, it’s obvious from how you don’t understand her issues at all - and keep to your own lane or what? because honestly, it’s obvious no one has ever called you ugly in your life and that you never had to deal with anyone demeaning your intelligence because you were most likely too busy demeaning other people’s, but you’ve been at this bullshit since 2013.

didn’t you get bored?\

[themiscyra1983]

The Elephant In The Room

Let me preface all this by saying I do not have time for assholes. If you come at me with insults and contempt, I will block you.

The other day on Twitter I said the Harry Potter books aren’t good. I said this to a friend but I guess some people just keep an eye out for whatever Harry Potter shit pops up on Twitter and/or the algorithm just likes to spit in people’s eyes because hoooo boy people saw and lost their minds. I blocked two people over it because they decided to be assholes, and had a somewhat terse conversation with someone who was more politely insistent before going, finally, “I’m glad you find joy in something I no longer care for” and putting an end to the conversation.

It’s no particular secret that I’m in the fandom, and prior to J.K. Rowling going full, ‘no plausible deniability here’ transphobe, I’d bought my share of official merch. Frankly I should have stopped that sooner, but it took getting figuratively slapped in the face multiple times before I finally admitted Rowling’s ignorance carried a distinct air of willfulness and malice. Anyway I still HAVE the stuff I bought before, the Ravenclaw crap, the wands I was collecting (no more of that, I fear, though I’d hoped to pick up Tonks and Ginny’s wands at least before I brought an end to it), the Ravenclaw goblet I was gifted from a friend who bought it before JKR passed the plausibly just clueless horizon. There is still much in the world that I love, but much of that love comes now from the creations of others, and I cannot in good conscience spend money in ways that directly benefit Rowling’s financial empire.

And the Harry Potter books are not, in my view, good books. I’ve felt that for a while now. I’ll go a step further: I think they’re dangerous stories to tell children; I think I would be uncomfortable reading them to any children I might have. They are not stories that should be viewed without a critical eye. I loved them as a teenager. I’ve grown more uncomfortable with them - and, as with Twilight, far more comfortable with how critically thinking fans have transformed the work - as time has passed.

This actually has very little to do with the fact that, well...Rowling is not the best writer. Listen. I’m a Power Rangers fan. I’ve watched every incarnation of Star Trek, and every single movie. I have no problem with trashy fiction. You will find me rooting around in the garbage with the finest raccoons. But that is part of it, yes; there are flaws in the craft of it, and I don’t feel that, inherently, we needn’t judge children’s fiction by adult standards. I would argue that the very BEST children’s fiction is also excellent by adult standards. But this is the least of my concerns.

Here are my actual concerns.

Rowling wants credit for declaring Dumbledore gay after the fact, for saying Hogwarts is a safe space for all students in ways not reinforced (and in fact actively contradicted) by the text, for cheering the fan-created same-sex marriage of Dean Thomas and Seamus Finnegan, but she doesn’t want to take the creative risks that go along with that. When she had the opportunity, with the Fantastic Beasts movies, to make that subtext text, she and her cronies outright declined it. At every opportunity she has shied away from actually putting her high-minded ideas to the page. This is a cowardly choice at best.

Further, Dumbledore’s only canonical love interest (and it is not clear whether the love was requited) was a pretty fascist with whom he fell in, politically, for a time. I get it, we’ve all had crushes on terrible people. But this is literally his one and only love, requited or not, and after he defeats Grindelwald he is left to pine away for the remainder of his days. The one gay love story in the books - if you tilt your head, and squint, and accept Rowling’s word for it - is a tragic one that leaves one man in prison and another celibate and alone and, increasingly, a manipulative bastard who upholds the status quo.

There’s nothing wrong with a tragic love story. I’ve enjoyed quite a few. But when this - THIS - is what you hold up as a triumph of representation, in the absence of ANYTHING else...no. No cookies for you.

Let’s also talk about how I don’t feel Rowling wrote Dumbledore or approaches him with a critical eye. There is NO excuse for leaving a child in an abusive home. No, fuck your blood wards. You’re telling me that Albus Dumbledore - ALBUS DUMBLEDORE - could not devise protections better than leaving Harry with abusive relatives who despised him and everything he stood for? Then, too, when Dumbledore did intervene in Harry’s life, he did so with full knowledge that he was setting Harry up to be a sacrificial lamb, AND WITH THIS SPECIFIC END IN MIND. None of this is acceptable. Dumbledore is a fucking manipulative, abusive bastard who uses people and throws them away, and the fact that it WORKED OUT for Harry does not absolve him of his crimes.

Moving on, and bear in mind I’m still getting my steam up on this whole rant: Seamus Finnegan. Seamus Finnegan is the one canonically, obviously Irish character in the books, named quite stereotypically, but more importantly, in the books and movies, is shown to be interested in (a) liquor and (b) making things explode. He’s REALLY GOOD at making things explode. Do I need to explain why it’s problematic for the one Irish character to blow things up all the time? He also does this in defense of UK wizardry’s status quo, so, you know, even if you were all IRISH FREEDOM FIGHTER YEAH, I assure you he is not that guy.

There is an entire species of sapient magical creatures who exist solely to serve witches and wizards. Hogwarts is run on slave labor and most of the finest wizard families hold slaves. But it’s all right! Only one of them has ever, in the context of the books, wished to be emancipated, and everyone else views Dobby as a weirdo for wishing to be free, and paid for his labor. Dobby, incidentally, later lays down his life for the wizarding savior who tricked his master into freeing him. The only other emancipated house elf we see in the books, Winky, spends her time in a state of drunken depression, rendering her useless and scarcely capable even of caring for herself. She wished to remain enslaved, do you see, and was helpless without the benevolent guidance of her master.

There’s fan work that has tried to address this by exploring a mystically symbiotic relationship between house elves and wizards and witches, and yes, yes, J.K. Rowling is drawing on European folklore here, but let’s not give her credit, okay?

Goblins. Goblins! Goblins have a long history of being antisemitic stereotypes to begin with (hence why I have seen multiple Jews on Tumblr push back HARD on ‘goblincore’), but J.K. Rowling just...right. They’re short, ugly, have hooked noses, generally look like antisemitic cartoon figures. They are locked out of power but control all the wizarding world’s banking, and do so in very usurious ways, for example charging wizards to hold their money, etc. Now this might be an interesting commentary on how Jews have historically been oppressed and forced into fields that goyim felt themselves too ‘pure’ to work in, were it not for the fact that Rowling’s fantasy Jews LITERALLY AREN’T HUMAN, and more, ARE ACTUALLY GREEDY, CONNIVING, AND WILLING TO BETRAY YOU AGAINST THEIR OWN SELF-INTEREST FOR PERSONAL GAIN. FUCKING GOBLINS, MAN.

Then there’s the travesty of Magic in North America, which disrespected the intelligence of Native Americans (none of them figured out you could point a stick at something to make the magic go until white people showed up to help, apparently, but don’t worry, they’re really CLOSE TO NATURE and GOOD AT NATURAL MAGIC), disrespected the beliefs of specific peoples (no, skinwalkers aren’t just misunderstood shapechanging wizards and witches smeared by the greedy and ignorant, you’re whitesplaining actual mythology to the people who hold it sacred), made the ONE wizarding school in America white with an appropriated Native veneer, and generally just...Did Not Get America. As bad as the UK Wizarding World is, Rowling demonstrated complete IGNORANCE regarding the long history of what we now call North America, ignorance of even modern American culture (there’s a reason why American fans particularly tend to ignore the idea that wizardry is locked down tight behind a wall of secrecy here), ignorance and disrespect toward Native populations, and an unwillingness to do the research necessary to do this shit right.

There’s more. There’s blood purity, and gender politics, and Severus Snape’s portrayal, and all kinds of shit that grates, and I’m just tired.

Writers make mistakes. it happens. But Rowling does not recognize her mistakes. She does not seek to make amends. She just barrels on with her shitty opinions, regardless of who she hurts.

it is at the point where I am no longer even willing to thank her for graciously allowing us to play in her sandbox. We don’t need her blessing; the OTW has done far more for fanfic than she has. And it is, indeed, beginning to grate on me that people constantly try to apply Harry Potter metaphors to real life and real politics. As my friend Doc often says, find another book.

I love butterbeer (or at least the knockoffs available outside the Universal parks), I still read fanfic sometimes, I still like to play with ideas like the Harry Potter movies as performed by Muppets, with Dan Radcliffe as Snape and Tom Felton as Lucius. I’m glad the movies brought us a generation of actors, mentored by performers like Alan Rickman and Maggie Smith and so many others, who have gone on to bigger and better things. Much of my merch is packed away, but I still hold on to some of it because it has new meaning for me in light of fanwork, or because (in the case of my Ravenclaw hat and scarf) it’s warm, winters here are cold, I don’t want to buy new shit, leave me alone.

I am accustomed to seeing fans turn trash into treasure. I’ve tried to do it myself. But I feel, quite strongly, that the original text in this case is trash. it is radioactive, stinky trash. You won’t persuade me otherwise, and I’m done apologizing for it. If Rowling wants me to respect her and her work again, she’ll have to earn it, but I’m very trans and she low-key hates my kind, so even if I weren’t a random reader I wouldn’t be holding my breath.

And I really, really need to emphasize to you all that it is okay if people don’t like a given work of fiction. It is okay if people HATE that piece of fiction. You don’t need to change the minds of everyone around you. You absolutely will not succeed in doing so. Please, I’m begging you, make peace with that - and please, I’m begging you, even if you like something, try to consider it critically.

[alwayysmichael]

Michael Jackson and me.

I was a boy in Michael Jackson’s life, and nothing of what he’s being accused of in this documentary happened...

I wanted to write and post this before Leaving Neverland premiered at Sundance last Friday. After all, I had a close relationship with Michael Jackson growing up and nothing of what he continues to be accused of has ever happened to me. I decided to wait because I was curious to see if the film would get any wings considering Wade Robson’s volatile and unsuccessful claims against Michael Jackson in the past. Sure, let him tell his story again. Truth and justice will prevail as they have. Soon after it premiered, I quickly Googled “leaving neverland” to discover news articles stating that the four-hour documentary received a standing ovation. In disbelief, I searched the hashtag on Instagram to see Story footage from the theater and there they were — Wade Robson, James Safechuck and the film’s director Dan Reed — on stage in front of an applauding audience at their feet. I’m not sure if the audience was doing so because they were perceived as survivors making a public appearance, or if the film was actually good in their eyes, or both; but all I could think about was that their strategy, unfortunately, worked.

Raising awareness about child abuse and providing a safe community for others to speak their truth is vital, but using Michael Jackson as a vehicle to do so is simply wrong. In order for any story to be valid, there has to be an element of trust and I do not trust the people associated with this film. Let’s be clear: Michael Jackson showed up. He faced public interviews, he answered difficult-to-stomach questions, he agreed to interrogative documentaries, he withstood a 10-year FBI investigation, and he appeared in an eighteen-month criminal trial until he was acquitted having been found not guilty on all fourteen child molestation and abuse-related accounts. The fact that twelve years of criminal investigations and government legal proceedings can be completely overruled by the media due to a manipulation of the same stories once told before by a select few, especially by those who were initially on the defense, is deeply concerning. Maybe even horrifying.

I haven’t seen the documentary, but it “focuses on two men… who allege they were sexually abused by the pop star Michael Jackson as children” (Wikipedia). Everyone is entitled to his/her/their story and I believe that each story should be told in truth to the best of his/her/their ability, but my issue with Leaving Neverland is the heavy reliance on one side, especially when that one side is comprised of only two people. On top of it all, those two people happen to know each other. So what we have is a product comprised of two acquaintances’ stories who were in Michael’s life as boys that has been glorified in a 236-minute documentary. Remember that the film would mark Robson’s second attempt to tell his story. He told the same, truncated version of his story publicly in 2013 and simultaneously filed suit against the Michael Jackson Estate, which the court later dismissed. This was eight years after he testified twice under oath explicitly stating that Michael did nothing wrong during a criminal trial in which the jury delivered a verdict of not guilty. It’s clear that this film’s intention is to position Michael as a child predator, but I find that the entire Leaving Neverland saga is really, in turn, a predation on a man of power and wealth now almost 10 years dead and thereby defenseless.

I was part of Michael’s life from the day I was born in 1987 until 2001. The last time I was literally close to him was backstage at the Staples Center when his casket wheeled past me. I knew him well because my mother, Janet Zeitoun, his sole hairstylist during the time, knew him even better. One could say that they might as well have been siblings. In fact, my mother was one of the few non-family members invited to the private memorial service at the cemetery hours before the public one in Downtown LA. Michael felt so comfortable with my mother because she made him laugh unlike anyone else, let alone the fact that she’s incredible at her craft. Michael even said in writing that she’s the “Michelangelo of hair.”

From the 80s, 90s and early 2000s, my mother has been around the globe with Michael. She’s been by his side doing his hair on sets, in dressing rooms, backstage at his concerts, at his home, on planes, in hotel rooms, in cars, and yes, even at Neverland. When my mom was pregnant with me in ‘86, Michael told her that she’d be having a boy; and on the day of my birth, Michael sent a limo to our home filled with gifts. And from then on, my single, hard-working mother who wanted to spend as much time with me as she could often brought me to work with her. So I grew up on the sets of Michael’s music videos, I played with my toys on the floor of his dressing rooms, and he sometimes came over to our house to get his hair done. As I got a bit older and could walk on my own two feet, I became the boy responsible for making sure Michael got candy in between some of his concert rehearsal sets. Michael would make everyone stop and patiently wait for me to wobble my way on stage to him. I even remember singing “I Just Can’t Wait to be King” to him in his trailer (so embarrassing!) but he gave me his undivided attention and smiled. I went to Neverland, several times of which Michael was there and he gave us the full tour of his home. I remember my favorite golf cart to get around had a Peter Pan emblem on it. I remember his movie theater concession stand being filled with candy that you could go behind the counter and take to watch whatever movie you wanted. I remember riding the big steam engine train that would take you from one end of the ranch to the other. I remember a big pot-bellied pig named Petunia and that I could name a newborn deer and rabbit. I chose Cuddie and Thumper, respectively; original, I know, but Michael loved the names.

Unlike Robson or Safechuck, I wasn’t in the public eye with Michael. The only sort of public thing that happened was him publishing a photo of us in the centerfold of his 1995 tour book. Fourteen years later, the caretaker of his children recognized me backstage at the Staples Center during his memorial service and told me that the photograph was one of Michael’s favorites, and at the time in 2009 was still framed on his grand piano in Neverland.I remember leaving Neverland a happy kid who couldn’t wait to go back. 

I remember telling my mom that I wanted to have another birthday party there or that I wanted to hang out with Michael again at the ranch. The bulk of my experience with Michael was during the 90s right when the FBI investigation began on account of child molestation allegations. Knowing that this was happening and that these charges were set against him, I don’t think my protective and well-aware mother would’ve allowed me to continue hanging around Michael or head up to Neverland had she not trusted him.

I firmly believe Michael did no wrong. You don’t have to take my word for it, though; know that his truth was proven in a court of law. The stories being presented in Leaving Neverland are incredibly one-sided. This film is merely the Wade Robson & James Safechuck Story because I, too, remember leaving Neverland, as does my mother, and as do many people in his life who’d be glad to have a say in a film so generically titled; now wrongfully entitled to depict Michael’s life and his misunderstood relationship with children. Any credible director of a documentary seeking truth on the matter would do his/her/their due diligence and present the full story from a carefully chosen and meaningful variety of sources. With four hours of film time to spare, I’m sure there could have been room. This is why I’m deeply disappointed in HBO and Channel 4 UK for picking it up with plans to air it later this spring. The networks snagged a falsity and will be responsible for disseminating a poorly researched film based on the highly skewed opinions of a select few that many of its subscribers will conclude as true.

Leaving Neverland is connecting because Robson and Safechuck’s well-acted stories are similar to those of true survivors watching the film. It’s a smart, yet corrupt way to capitalize on an entire community’s vulnerabilities. It’s also connecting because their stories are bolstered with a compelling medium to tell them as well as an accredited establishment like Sundance to premiere it. It’s riding the wave of an important #MeToo and #TimesUp movement, and it poorly validates a shortsighted equation that many people think they already have the answer to: Michael Jackson plus always being around children must equal child molester. The result? A byproduct of lies smeared with a thin layer of credibility intended to enrage the general media and side with self-proclaimed victims. And because the people behind these forms of media have a following (or not), perhaps they’re employed by some “greater” masthead and their information is muffled with journalists who actually seek the truth, the general population slowly becomes convinced, valuing information by ease of access which has really been served to them by algorithms designed to showcase what individuals only want to see. This is where destruction escalates. This is where the snowball gains its mass. This is why I’m stepping in with my story now.

I urge you to make it your undying responsibility to seek truth and acknowledge all sides in your consumption of how Michael is being depicted in this film. The capitalization of circumstance, divisive use of content and manipulation of media — all combined with rising false senses of entitlement — can quickly nullify a verdict and forever challenge truth to favor the other. This is the loophole with our digital ecosystem that actually determines one’s fate and this is the precise mechanism Leaving Neverland is using, especially when money is at stake. It will ultimately destroy his family, defame his legacy and eradicate his artistry. If you think this little loophole won’t take it that far, well, for starters: it’s already killed Michael Jackson.

Michael signed a letter to me on Neverland letterhead once. It read: “from your protective and older brother, Michael Jackson.” Now I find it my turn to protect him by telling my story because I solemnly swear that this kind-hearted, genius-of-a-man is innocent. I probably would have known otherwise. -  Talun Zeitoun