#because he’s a country classical troll

[aestheticallynotdeerlightful]

Copper C. Capriccio

.

(Please do not use, trace, or repost my works anywhere without explicit permission from me thank you <3)

Another another trolls oc because it’s funnnnn

[year2000electronics]

so i literally cant get the thought of my head of this sort of au where brozone from trolls 3 get integrated into the plot of trolls 2 because i like the plot of trolls 2 and i think barb and brozone should exist in the same movie. so like heres brozone if they went to the different genre tribes after they went solo

clay- classical (doesn't play anything himself, does admin work for trollzart)

floyd- country (the sadness really spoke to him but the townies dont trust him because hes got pop vocals)

bruce- funk (still lives on vacay island and runs his restaurant, it's just that funk trolls frequently come to his place because the vacay islanders arent involved in troll stuff most of the time)

john dory- rock (glamrock to be specific- joins queen barb on a mission to reunite his brothers once and for all)

[brights-place]

hii! may i request headcannons with john dory and/or branch with a reggaeton troll s/o? thank you!😊

Branch and John Dory dating an Reggaton S/O

Pairings: Branch X Reader, JD X Reader (Seperate)

Warnings: None

A/N: OMG YESSS! I hope you enjoyed the classical troll Headcannons! As I said Broppy will not be cannon if I'm doing an X Branch unless it's an poly relation ship with branch and poppy! Anyways I had fun writing for the reggaton trolls CAUSE THEY ARE SO COOL! ٩(ˊᗜˋ*)و ♡

John Dory

- He met you when you came by branch is bunker to drop of an gift for branch

- Branch greeted you with an fist bump while you laugh happily speaking in spanish to him while branch just shrugged and replied back before taking the gift off you - John dory and his other brothers where in awe before glancing back to you and your appearance - Your markings across your f/c body and in your hair which matched with you and your f/c hair was dreadlocked and has a wooly appearance JD was just in awe - branch introduced you to his brothers you mainly nodding at the group slightly "Sup Chicos" you said as John dory was the first to shake your hand "I'm JD it's nice to meet you?" "(name)" you said smiling - He asked why you were diffrent and you explained you were an reggaton troll doing an quick dance and an random reggaton beat appearing before you stopped and gave an lazy smile "Reggaton" You said snapping your fingers into an finger gun pointing towards JD

- You explained that Reggaeton is a Jamaican-inspired music genre that started in the 1990s. Although it had some prevalence in that decade and the 2000s it wouldn't become notably popular until the late 2010s. - Reggaton originates from Puerto Rico and is a Spanish-speaking style of Caribbean music though it is mostly considered a variant of Hip hop, and not Reggae. Reggaeton music uses both rapping and singing results. Reggaton lyrics are often about heavily sexual and violent theme most of the time because of either a lack or non-restrictive use of parental advisory requirements in Caribbean countries. (Def wasn't nerding out while studying the reggaton trolls and the music ) - He was interested so he decided to walk with you to the exit to ask more questions - You were laid back and agreed telling him that he could find you and have lessons in the updated version of the map or you'd go visit pop village - He awkwardly complimented you with an goofy smile which you chuckled at and thanked him as he asked if you could come by and teach him more and maybe ask you to show him some dances for their next songs and show

- You gladly accepted and told him you'd come by and visit more often - You came by an couple days later to meet with JD as you went and taught him some dance moves which he failed at first before you slowly taught him to follow the beat with you - Was paying attention to you the whole time how you moved easily and fluently while singing along to the lyrics as he stopped dancing looking at you in awe - You had to snap him out of his daze and told him to try do what you did which he did doing mistakes every now and then as you helped him once again - It was becoming normal for you to visit and help him with dancing and explaining more about Reggaton soon it turned into you teaching him basic songs in spanish - You two would soon become close and he introduced you to rhonda when he came by to visit you at your place

- Other Reggaton trolls gasped when he saw rhonda and when JD Left to ask someone for directions to your place - Everybody was speaking Spanish so he tried his hardest to ask for directions and Tresillo, Marimba, and Tambora helped him out cause they knew JD was famillar since you showed photos of him to them - He arrived to your place and you two just did the basic routine you've been doing for the past 6 Months - You two would visit each other more often sometimes staying over at the others - You two would be seen walking around dancing and singing together whenever or just sitting down laughing.

- He wanted to thank you by speaking spanish to you about something he'd been practicing in the mirror "(name) uhm Estoy agradecido por cuidarme y enseñarme tu música." and you teared up before walking over and hugging him and handing him an gift of your's which was an scarf you made yourself it had your patterns on your body - He wears it 24/7 now whenever he goes exploring and won't take it off at all until you have to remind him to wash it - Started dating after an few weeks of going on 4-5 dates - You would be listening to his new songs in bro-zone and trying to change it a bit to fit some reggaton music. - He writes songs as you just lay your head on his chest while telling him drama and speaking in Spanish sometimes then trying to say it in English for him and translating words for him - When he does know what your saying in Spanish he's proud of himself asking if he was right with his guess he'd happily cheer when he gets it right. - He's trying his best to learn Spanish for you picking up phrases but sometimes failing and frowning but you always make him feel important when you cup his face "Mi Amor your doing great" - When you found out he left his brothers you were cursing him out in Spanish faster then light itself as he tried to get you not to beat his ass - Branch had to hold you back while JD apolgized to you aand begged for your mercy he didn't get any attention from you for abit... until he started to sing in Spanish for you

- He'd learn some bit more spanish with the help of branch and other reggaton trolls so he could try make you feel better and proud of him

Branch

- He met you when you were with Tresillo, Marimba and Tambora to take him to barb the queen of rock to save reggaton - He noticed how you were laid back and sneaky like your other three fellow reggaton trolls but he also noticed how sometimes you would whisper to Marimba and Tambora about how cool the K-pop trolls looked while Tresillo was talking to the K-pop trolls to take Branch - He noticed how you four were very similar to each other, not wearing any clothes and only having hairbands and earrings. - Your markings across your bodies and in your hair which matched with you and your fellow reggaton trolls. - Your hair was dreadlocked and has a wooly appearance, like the Funk Trolls he loved how you stood out though... well to him that is - In the dance battle with the K-pop trolls he noticed the fact you bopped your head and vibed abit to the music but Marimba had to stop you from bouncing and liking the music - When it was the reggatons turns to dance it was such an huge vibe you were showing off while dancing - Though you were the first one to listen to him when he brought up all music being saved as you turned to Tresillo "Tresi... Maybe he is right" you muttered as Branch couldn't help but feel an slight smile tug on his lips "Okay Pop troll were listening" Tresillo said crossing his arms turning to branch - When you hopped into the hot air balloon you greeted the K-pop trolls happily and asked about their genre while they asked about yours while you soon went to talk to branch - You asked him alot about himself him giving blunt replies but he was quite shocked how an reggaton troll like you were talking to him - You were laid back and asked him questions about pop village and asked if he knew about the other genres which he didn't so you happily explained your style and music - You explained that Reggaeton is a Jamaican-inspired music genre that started in the 1990s. Although it had some prevalence in that decade and the 2000s it wouldn't become notably popular until the late 2010s. - Reggaton originates from Puerto Rico and is a Spanish-speaking style of Caribbean music though it is mostly considered a variant of Hip hop, and not Reggae. Reggaeton music uses both rapping and singing results. Reggaton lyrics are often about heavily sexual and violent theme most of the time because of either a lack or non-restrictive use of parental advisory requirements in Caribbean countries. (yes I added this again for branch cause YES I'M STILL INVESTED AND HAPPY!) - Branch nodded his head as he kept quiet but listened to you - After saving all music and becoming in harmony he noticed you about to leave so he told poppy he'd be back to go catch up with you and ask you if you could show him more of your music since he felt comfortable with the dancing and music - You were laid back and agreed telling him that he could find you in the updated version of the map which you gave him and leaving with the other reggaton trolls who raised an eyebrow at your two interactions - When he came by to where the reggaton trolls live he noticed how everybody was speaking in an different language and looked like the three reggaton trolls you hanged out with. - Tresillo noticed branch and walked up to him telling him where to find you at your place

- You happily greeted him and welcomed him inside to teach him more of your music and culture

- This continued for an couple more months as he learned how to speak Spanish and learned how to dance to reggaton music.

- Reggaton trolls have been noticing how you were very close to the pop troll

- Poppy and the other pop trolls have been noticing branch leaving and coming back with an smile on his face

- After three months of him visiting and hanging out with you, he was surprised when you came to visit pop village and asked to see branch to poppy who was in shock seeing you

- Branch quickly hurried towards you and grabbed your arm looking at poppy making an zipping mouth motion and walked away dragging you with him as you waved goodbye to Poppy (this is starting to become an fanfic... Hold on should I make an fanfic of this?)

- he took you to his bunker and asked why you visited when he was suppose to go to your place "Why are you here!" Branch said turning towards you at the entrance of his bunker "Well I came to visit you Amigo" You said playfully punching branch is shoulder as branch rolled his eyes sighing

- You gave him an matching bracelet - Would sigh and thank you as you fist bumped him - You two would start visiting each other more then usual some times staying over at eachothers people starting to suspect your dating - He literally became fluent in spanish and would laugh when you curse out creek in Spanish when first meeting creek after the pop trolls allowed him back in - Branch was wheezing and laughing which shocked the other pop trolls mainly pop cause they never seen him laugh but when they turned to see you close to punting creek and yelling in spanish they had to pull you back and branch would walk over pulling you back and patting your shoulder whispering to you that you both can kill him later -He fell first and you fell harder for him

- You two would confess to each other while dancing together to reggaton and pop music - he's been tryiing to confess for awhile but gave up last minute so when he was lucky and relaxed he confessed. He's so romantic and would confess to you with an huge relaxed face as you turn into an flustered mess - You too would officially date after like 5 dates - He'd speak spanish with you to make you flustered which works very well for the both of you. Him seeing your blushing face and you hearing him speak spanish - You'd giggle and complain back pouting while he held your waist

- when you two are together and your speaking in spanish in annoyance or arguing with someone Poppy and the other pop trolls have to turn to eachother then turn to branch who has to explain with an bored expression - You love eachother so much and when he takes you to meet his family for the first time in ever... it was whoa... so much

- When he introduced you to his brothers your jaw dropped so fast - your boyfriend was in the famous boy band - Then started to whisper in spanish how hot branch was when you two went to save his brothers with poppy - Literally cheering and dancing happily - His brothers are shocked their were other genres of trolls but even more shocked how branch and you would talk to each other lovingly as branch held you waist while you giggled arms wrapped around his neck flirting

reblogs + comments are appreciated ⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡

©brights-place 2024 — do not repost on another platform, copy, translate or edit my works! if you fit my DNI list please don't interact!

[rocksibblingsau]

You once said that you're always down for some Brynth (very based) so.... Brynth dynamics for all the different AUs? (or just the main ones, you/we have a lot of AUs its kinda insane)

Rock Branch - Can't say

Techno Branch - First friend turned first crush turned first love. Synth taught Branch how to love music, which also is how Branch learned to love Synth

Country Branch - They met at Trollstopia and he was Synth's Cinderella. Showed up for a party, left suddenly, leaving his cowboy hat behind with Synth. Synth went on a quest to find the owner of the hat because he was too stupid to realize Branch was the only country troll with two legs.

Funk Branch - I kinda like to think they met at the Rockpocalypse. Left with the Troll equivalent of his number on a piece of paper and Prince D teased him about it relentlessly.

Classical Branch - Branch came to Trollstopia to do a concert and met with all of the ambassadors. Synth is known to get along with Classical Trolls really well so he wanted to get to know Branch as well. Branch went 'Who is this troll who pulls me in like a siren in the night?' and Minuet squealed while Dante begged him to reconsider.

BONUS

Amnesiac Villain - They both fall in love pretty quickly while Branch doesn't have his memories. Once he finds out about himself and that the leaders were lying he goes to find Synth and ask if any of it was real. Once finding out it was, he tries to break it off with Synth to protect him from himself but Synth won't let him. Synth insists that he'll love him even if he gains his memories back and changes, and he'll try to save Branch from himself.

[totally-not-fandom]

Some Trolls headcanons because I'm going insane :)

- Poppy is aroace

- Branch is romantically attracted to Poppy but shows it in ways that could be seen as really good friendship

- The are in a queer platonic relationship

- Branch LOVES other types of music! He loves listening to it and making it! He's kind of a troll of all trades

- The yodelers are a sub-genre of country troll

- Hickory is a country/yodel troll but only really talks without the country accent when he is very comfortable w/ someone (ex. Dickory, Poppy, Branch)

- Chaz's parents were a classical and pop troll but he lived with the classicals most of his life

- Chaz can NOT remember people's names! He pretends it's just cause he's an asshole but he genuinely just forgets

- John Dory knows EVERYONE! Like, Poppy will be trying to introduce him to someone and he'll be like "oh, Hickory and Dickory? We used to bounty hunt together" or "Barb? Oh she's cool. Yeah, me and her dad used to be buddies"

- Bruce cooks like it's nobody's business, measures with the heart and everything, but he can't bake for the life of him

- Branch and Clay are the bakers of the family

- John Dory only knows how to make food that comes out of a can and Floyd once blew up the microwave

[okimnerdy]

Trolls Headcannons

(BROZONE Edition)

[Hi yes. Welcome to another fixation.]

•The brothers got out of the troll tree BEFORE it got caged in by the Bergens. They only heard about the outer trolls being hunted, but never thought it would make it to the main settlement. All of them believed that Branch and Grandma were still alive.

•The brothers knew of other genres of music, even dabbling into a few of them. JD and Clay enjoyed techno and funk. Bruce enjoyed classical. Floyd enjoyed rock. No one really fancied country music.

John Dory

°JD felt like the group had to be perfect and loved due to their parents. Their parents (before they got "chosen" or before leaving after the last kid was born) had a wish-wash way of parenting, only giving positive attention when the boys did something of merit.

°JD acted more like a parent than a brother, assigning roles he felt fit his brothers in order to give them a better foothold in their life and career in the group. He blamed himself if they didn't seem to succeed.

° JD hasn't truly showered in like 10 years. Man is a "water's clean" kind of guy, and was promptly held down by his brothers for a cleaning. Rhonda helped by essentially being a pressure washer.

°JD found Rhonda as a baby pill bug and didn't expect her to get so big. He felt a little bad decorating her once she was big enough to house him, fearing that he was hurting her.

Bruce

°Bruce let go of his ripped image because of Brandi's cooking. This man fell in love with her food THEN her. He felt at ease with her, especially since she didn't know Brozone.

°Bruce grew his hair out for his little girl to play with since her brothers won't. He lets her put little braids and clips in from time to time, and he wears them proudly.

Clay

°Clay tried to go back for Branch during the escape, but got caught in a wave of escaping trolls. After seeing the collapsed tunnels, he believed that his family got out safely even though he never truly knew for nearly 20 years.

°Clay made it to other Troll settlements and became a CPA after leaving Brozone and before he attempted to go back.

°Clay bonded with Viva over the loss of family due to the split™. He would share all these stories about Branch and she would try to do the same for Poppy, even though she was barely a year old when they got separated.

°Clay's little admin hut actually is bigger on the inside. He dug out a little living space underneath to hold his bed, desk, and a small kitchenette. Its like his own little bunker.

Floyd

°Floyd did a self-discovery journey through the other genres. He hung around the rock and country trolls the longest due to them being more land-based tribes, even though country trolls don't particularly like visitors.

°Floyd made a name for himself in the indie scene, eventually making his way to Mount Rageous where he had a new contract in the works. He had hoped this small push would bring his family back.

°Floyd suffers from muscle spasms and PTSD after his time in the bottle. Branch was kind enough to help develop a wheelchair and other mobility aids for him to use in the jungle gym called Pop Village.

°Floyd experiences fatigue easier. One of the brothers is always ready to be a pillow or a helping hand when he needs to rest. Poppy goes to him when she wants to know what else the village can do for others like him.

Branch

°Branch's muted color is due to his many years in the gray. He still feels the effects of the fight™ and grandma's capture, and personally blames himself from time to time. He leans on Poppy and his brothers who assure him that things are okay. No one really knows if he'll fully get back to his bright blue.

°Branch kept an item from each brother, even if they don't know it. They're buried somewhere in storage. He only wears Floyd's vest cause he missed him the most and held no animosity to him.

°Branch knows exactly how to deal with his nephews and niece when their energy gets too high because of Poppy. Sometimes, he'll ask her to help since she already teaches the younger trolls in the village.

<<prev || next>>

[xxnomadsxx]

So how would the tribes and their leaders react to the grey trolls?

Pacifically Delta Dawn,Queen Essence and King Quincy and Queen Barb.

I read from one of your posts that the grey country trolls were grey because they liked other music genres and were considered criminals resulting them getting kicked out of their home and if I'm not mistaken a few were kids?

How would they react to seeing Delta Dawn since she is mostly likely the one who made the decision.

The (some) funk trolls were researchers that were left behind so how will they feel when they meet Queen Essence and King Quincy,and how will those two react knowing how they became grey.

And how will Queen Barb react to the reasons the rock trolls left and became grey especially since one of them was deaf.

Pop: The Pop trolls try to welcome back the grey trolls with open arms. (They are so happy by the discovery of them Because friendship) Who for some reason aren’t to excited to come back? I wonder why.. (The grey trolls are way to scared of what the pop tribe is like they basically took a break from being “happy”like the others and now see how messed up everything is) The Pop tribe is determined to bring there colors back no matter what (I’m talking loud obnoxious parties, activity after activity, loooooonnnngg hugs that last for days, being braided to another troll who is supposed to be your fun buddy) but after a long time (and tons of reflection) they realize how messed up it all seemed. So they took it slow and let them just get accustomed to everything, a party or two a week and not a lot of loud noises (plus no more tying people together) gradually overtime the grey pop trolls are able to be in the village and not feel overwhelmed (a looooot of insecurity about being grey though)

Techno: Trollex welcomes all the Techno trolls who were lost, left or born in the grey tribe. (He was initially shocked but quickly relieved to find the missing trolls who have been gone for years!! Plus the new editions) He tries to help them as much as he can, ie fixing torn flippers, setting up a new foster system for future trollings, making sure to know who is here or missing every week, overall just trying to help with what he can to make them more comfortable (He didn’t do much wrong with the grey Techno trolls as some of the other tribes besides a few getting separated from the group by currents and no one noticing) but he tries to right whatever wrong there is…..and throw a few raves in their honor he is still a troll he will party. The grey Techno trolls greatly appreciate it and get along well with the other Techno trolls.

Funk: The absolute guilt the royal family has is insane!!! Not only did they leave behind a group of researchers, but they are the ones who asked for them TO BE THERE!!(they did go back and look for them but found nothing) they try to make amends and do whatever to help the trolls, the fact the trolls were grey because of them almost put them in an early grave. They start figuring out ways so that this situation would never happen again (I feel like trackers would be their best option) the grey Funk researchers are a little angry at the royal fam (I mean they left them so it’s a valid response) but they do forgive them on account of why they left (I’m going to say bird attack that forced them to get out of there quickly) and the fact they went back for them🥹 (the fam still does whatever to help like, making therapy a way bigger thing on the ship for others ) they also help the other grey funk trolls get accustomed to the ship and being around more trolls.

Classical: Trollzart would immediately put into action more ways for Symphony Ville to be more accessible for trolls who can’t fly, while also putting in ways for the classical trolls to get around more (I imagine they use walking cane or some form of wheelchairs to get around because like they have the bodies of literal BABIES?!?! Can they even walk on their own?!?) As for the other grey trolls they try to get accustomed to them, maybe put on performances where they show their sorrow and anguish, but also try their best to help them however they can.

Country: Oh boy… Delta is absolutely mortified by her actions. Not only did she kick out a couple of trolls from the flats (sooo much guilt) but they had kids while they were out there, kids who had to survive in the forest for years !!!( I hc that she absolutely loves kids!!) she tried her best to make what she did right (she’s been feeling guilty about it for years) the banished country trolls themselves hold a lot of resentment towards her. I mean who wouldn’t for what she did to them, but after months of holding the grudge and resentment and many many constant apologies and acts of kindness they eventually forgive Delta (there is still awkward tension between the three but they try to put it aside) Delta does absolutely whatever to fawn and show the kids love and kindness since she feels guilty about her being the reason they were grey to begin with. She also helps the other grey country trolls who either went too far away from the flats or got dragged away by predators and got lost cause of it. She tries her best to make amends for all the country trolls and their young. Now she tries to keep track of her people more and has grown a tolerance to all music. The grey trolls greatly appreciate all she does for them and their kids now. (I know I made Delta look like a bad person but this was in the past and to be fair she did lock up Poppy and Branch when she first met them sooooo��� I do really love Delta though)

Rock: Barb was angered by the fact some of her people were in the forest surviving for years and grey!??!!! (She seems to be really insecure about being a leader this issue does not help her) she places a lot of guilt on herself because of this and does WHATEVER it takes to make things right!! So she implements a lot of mental health things (more therapy, rage rooms concerts about mental health) anything to bring awareness and to help. For the one deaf rock troll they go immediately to the funk trolls and soon enough hearing aids were made for the little rocker (by the way the deaf troll is like 8, i thought it would make it more angsty that a child left because they felt out of place.. and I was right!!! it makes it sooo much worse) Barb and the rock trolls basically bend over backwards to help their fellow rockers. The grey rockers greatly appreciate what has been done for them and how they got used to their survivalist antics.

[justenjoythegossip]

THE ONE WHERE HE SAID HER NAME

For people who aren’t aware, Chris was just interviewed on Access Hollywood where he is promoting his dog food brand and talking about his wife’s connection and relationship with “their” beloved dog. Go Portugal! 

First remark, she will no longer be known as Voldemort as it’s the first time since the start of this shitshow that he has ever said her name. Good for her and shame on him. 

Second remark, his background has been blurred for more… privacy (sarcastic coughs).

Apart from those 2 new elements, it’s pretty much the same old stuff. Let’s dig. 

THE TIMING OF THE INTERVIEW

This interview takes place at a time where Chris is gaining a lot of momentum. He just made a very talked about cameo in a huge Marvel hit. As a positive sign, he is gaining followers again, which at least looks organic whether they are real or bots or a combination of both. He is working hard, doing stunts with ASP, in order to look deserving of the Spirit of Service award he is going to receive on September 11th which, by the way, coincides with the one-year anniversary of his wedding. 

This interview is about promoting his dog food brand and their partnership with a giant retail store. Because obviously why not ride this wave of publicity, make more bucks and get more attention? Especially after that planned story on his Insta about his Deadpool cameo and the variety article that suspiciously followed so quickly after it. 

Not coincidentally, this date was supposed to be the one when a BUA was to be announced, as Team PR blogs were insisting. (By the way, that fact alone should enrage Chris’ fans as his team clearly looks in cahoots with them, as many suspected.) 

TEAM PR AND THEIR LASTEST DECEPTION

Team PR blogs have been claiming the contract expired on July 26th, that the BUA was imminent and was to happen before the end of July.

They were clearly lying like they have been lying since the start of this shitshow. Particularly about the ending which was supposed to happen after the Ghosted premiere, after the Peter Holmes interview, after he came back to Insta, after theForbes article, after the papwalk in December… …during the shooting of the Materialists… 

The fact people actually gave credence to their most recent claims is not a testament to their “cunning” manipulation techniques or people’s gullibility but to how much this fandom wants this shitshow to be over. 

As you noticed, one key and vicious member of Team PR was explaining yesterday that Chris’ wearing the ring meant nothing and “was insignificant”. How hypocritical, isn’t it?  When Team PR, Team Real & Team Middle have all been talking & trolling about the precious for months. 

Notice how those Team PR blogs are now deflecting once more with silly diversions such as dog behavior or how allegedly his family will suffer for it (oh please), or play the victim card as they are allegedly receiving threats and hate messages. All of this is meant to distract from the fact that they lied once more. And they did it for several reasons, the most important being... 

ANOTHER CLASSIC BAIT & SWITCH FOR ADDED SHOCK VALUE

We have seen this movie before and repeatedly, haven’t we? The pattern is so similar to what we have witnessed in February with the ski trip. 

And even recently, with all the time she was seen spending in her home country without him (the concert, the birthday), her furnishing an apartment in Portugal, his wearing and hiding the ring every chance he got, and more importantly the stunt at the walk of fame of Kevin Feige where she was seen to be a no show so ostentatiously… Look at how staged that was, and you will realize what the purpose for it was. 

So, what they did was to try to breadcrumb a separation once again, to build up the fans’ anticipation before pulling the rug out from under them in order to add shock value. 

Well done! But FYI the aftereffect might prove very counterproductive for Chris, as his complicity looks more and more obvious and his playing the victim card looks more and more infuriating. 

CHRIS’ COMPLICITY

Chris claimed in his SMA interview how much he hates any forms of manipulation. He should have added that he was fine with it as long as he was the one doing the manipulating.  Indeed, his complicity is absolutely undeniable. 

I have written a post about this topic, if you want to check it out. 

Let’s add to this his recent shenanigans and more precisely what he did with the precious ring. I won’t go too far back and will just use 2 recent examples. 

Do people remember the Jinx commercial where he uses his pinkie to “hide” the ring as he gives food to Dodger? What he is actually doing here is to draw more attention to the ring and promote his relationship with Alba, he also looks ashamed to gain sympathy from his fans and manages to feed the discourse (real or not?) in the process. 

Isn’t it exactly what he did again for that walk of fame ceremony where he allegedly arrived without the ring (like he would forget to wear it) and then get photographed with it from every angle while his wife was a no-show?

Now let’s move on to the most interesting aspects of it all: the brand deal.

THE BRAND DEALS CONNECTED TO THIS SHITWHOW

First observation. You can see the similarity to the interview he did on The View sponsored by Jinx when he came back to Insta just in time for the Black Friday. 

I am not privy to any private information and haven’t seen the contracts but it’s safe to assume that certain businesses of his are directly connected to this shitshow for the simple reason that they have been getting an incommensurable amount of “free” publicity from many prestigious publications & media outlets. 

And by the way, it started before Alba even entered the scene. We can safely deduce Chris had already cashed in on those checks (“free” publicity) and this shitshow was also used as a payment for it. 

Because clearly, dog food and a civil engagement platform are not the “sexiest” businesses. And, the amount of media coverage those companies have been getting seems totally disproportionate compared to Chris’ status and the marketability of those businesses.

Compare this to the media coverage his fellow Avengers have been getting, like Jeremy Renner’s cigar and alcohol businesses, or Scarlett’s The Outset. 

Obviously, Chris gets to promote his businesses Jinx or ASP when he talks or breadcrumbs his relationship to Alba because this is far more selling and salacious for the media and the public. 

Sidenote, now observe the media coverage his commercial for a much “sexier” brand like Audi got, a commercial where he did not have to wear the ring by the way. 

So if you guys are enraged by this shitshow and how it is conducted, not looking at this train wreck won’t change a thing or the timeline but what might have an impact is to boycott the protagonists and the brands that are playing and manipulating you. 

THE ENDING OF THE SHITSHOW

Clearly this shitshow is long-term and won’t be ending anytime soon. And the reason for that is simple. The optics of this relationship aren’t great as he looks like her old uncle and the power imbalance is all over the place. He HAS to stay married to her for a while to give value to this relationship. 

Because clearly, he looks like another Hollywood cliché going through a midlife crisis. The only thing that could salvage a part of his public persona is to make this marriage last so that he doesn’t look like a “one-dollar Leo but without the talent”. 

In fact, it will likely last for much longer and might even escalate (DM is breadcrumbing baby rumors) because one thing appears crystal clear at this point: this marriage seems to be much more than a rebrand and a publicity stunt.

WHAT MIGHT BE COMING NEXT?

There is a rumor that Chris might be selling his LA home after he just sold his Concord house. Not so long ago it was the one in Vermont.

Like some Team PR blogs rightfully said, it was purposefully leaked to the fandom after the house had already been sold. It was a great and very smart PR move. Suddenly, Chris seemed like he was at a crossroads, like it was a new start where anything is possible. 

But as you guys noticed, the background was purposefully blurry for this interview, which gives the illusion he is private when he is really not, also puts emphasis on the crazy fan narrative (Chris has to hide to protect his family from his crazy fans) and more importantly helps to present any fabricated life he wants to the general public. It is a white canvas so to speak. 

[vanillablankcanvas]

Could you tell us more about broppy wedding? Who was the best man? Who was the maid of honor?

BROPPY WEDDING 💍

Quick Facts Go!!!!!!!

Officiant - Cloud Guy ☁️ 😏 I just have this vision of Cloud Guy giving a thousand reasons as to why he should be the officiant. BUT ultimately he says "Branch, look at me. I will 100% be on my best behaviour. Becaaaauuuuuseee it will give me the most joyest of joy knowing that when I do an absolutely stand up job as I always do, YOU Dumpy Diapers WILL HAVE TO THANK ME"

Poppy's Bridesmaids - Viva, Bridget, Barb, Smidge, Satin and Chenille.

Branch's Groomsmen - Floyd, JD, Clay, Bruce, Tiny Diamond.

Maid of Honor - Viva. Bridget and Viva talked about it and came to the decision that Viva should be Maid of Honor because a lot of the planning will happen in Troll Village and it just makes sense cause Viva lives there. Also Bridget wants Viva to have this experience with Poppy because of all the ones she already missed out on.

Best Man - leading up to the proposal, Branch found himself stressing out a lot. He found the most comfort and encouragement from Floyd. So when Branch had to choose a Best Man, Floyd was an easy decision.

Brozone sang Poppy's entrance song: 'Helpless When She Smiles:

Each Groomsmen wears a boutonniere of a flower from one of the other Tribes whilst each Bridesmaid has a bouquet of said flowers.

Floyd and Viva = Funk Flower/ Barb and JD = Rock Flower/ Clay and SatinChenille = Techno Flower/ Smidge and Bruce = Country Flower/ Bridget and Tiny = Classical Flower.

Labreezy is the flower girl. Bruce is a teary mess seeing his baby girl come down the aisle. 😭

Sable attends as JD's date. Clay and Bruce ask her is she's gonna go for the bouquet. They all look over at Smidge who is cracking her knuckles, ready for that bouquet toss. Sable says she'd prefer not to lose another limb. 💐

Each Tribe performs at the reception as a gift to the newlyweds.

Kismet also performs with Branch. They perform PYT by Michael Jackson because Branch is the newly crowned King of Pop 😏

Father Daughter dance. Of course Poppy dances with Peppy. Mother Son dance? Branch dances with his new sister Viva. 🩷 Awww

Fluffleberry Cake! (One layer tho 😉)

Bruce offers Vacay Island for the ceremony and reception as it will accommodate all the different sizes creatures attending.

[partywithoutsmiling]

Some musing on the Wanderer!Branch AU

(Okay, bit of a chaotic lore dump incoming, as this is probably the first time I am putting it to words)

Okay, important info first:

I headcanon it that Branch- and thus the other Brozone bros- are half-pop half-rock in their herritage; this headcanon is an old one, ever since World Tour dropped, and honestly only supported by the fact that Total Eclipse of the Heart that Branch sung as trolling is considered a Pop Rock song XD But hey, one doesnt need to have many reasons to make headcanons pff

(I have some tentative lore about his parents- and his grandparents- too, and how that would effect Branch and his Bros growing up, but I will leave that for a separated post)

But anyway, with Branch's Pop side being moderated by his Rock side, he would have always felt a bit out of place among his tribe, even he grew up perfectly happy with no tragedy in his life (I know switching Branch's and Poppy's place when it comes to being grey is all the rage right now, but I still feel most are missing all the necessary nuance to really make it work, but lets not get into that pf)

Obviously, that feeling of not fitting it only got hundred fold worse since his PTSD and him being grey, as Pop Trolls doesn't seem to be known for mental health support. Branch eventually leaving is not him going 'Screw you all, I will find someone who appreciates me' (much like Clay did) but more of a 'I am sorry, I won't get in your way anymore, I wont be a burden'

Basically massive amount of self-loathing and severe lack of self-worth. When Branch had his final breakdown and decided to leave, I don't think it would be with the precise goal of finding anyone (yes, part of him hopes he would be able to find his brothers and at least find closure one way or another, no matter how much it terrifies him).

Honestly, Branch probably didn't dare to examine his decision to leave any closely than he needed to, lest it would stand out to him for what it really was- a suicide trip.

This was Branch that doesnt know anything about the wide, outside world; he knows Bergen Town, knows of the old Troll Tree, and now knows the Forest and their Troll Village. But everything else is uncharted territory for him. He knows of the Neverglades, because of a faint memory of John Dory constantly talking about them when he was a baby, but has only a vague sense which way they are (I headcanon they make up for the border of Pop and Rock territories)

His preparation for the trip was abysmal, and so was his plan in general. He just picked a direction- opposite of Bergen Town, away from them- and started walking. When he first encountered the towering high peaks of Classical Territory, he immediatelly recognized that they can't be the Neverglades- very much not fitting the description that he remembered, so he walked past/around them, smack dab into Country territory.

Compared to others, I don't think the Country Trolls would have been very welcoming to him at the beginning; used to hard life, inhospitable land and abundant death, Branch would be an unexpected disturbance; obviously not a Classical Troll, who borders with them the closest but never comes down from the skies, obviously not a Funk Troll, who with their technological advance might as well be myths at this point- and obviously not a Pop Troll, since he doesnt shower them with obnoxious music and doesnt even look the part.

Had he been at his 100%, they would have probably been quite content to send him packing, figuring he was just a Rock Troll going solo career (little insert headcanon: Rock Troll Rite of Passage is going on a Rock Tour, and sometimes the more adventurous Rock Trolls strays into other territories to bother and cause mayhem other trolls. Barb's Rock Tour was her Rite of Passage, and being a freshly fanged Queen, she took it to another level)

But Branch quite helpfully collapsed on their doorstep, half starving and dehydrated, and they weren't so callous as to leave him there for the elements to take care of him.

Naturally, their help hardly came for free, and even if they didn't ask, Branch would have already feel indebted to them for wasting resources on his wellbeing. A Survivalist himself, he easily spotted the tight budget they were running, and felt guilty for being a burden yet again.

To his surprise, when the country trolls found out he was a hard worker, a skilled architect and wiz engineer, they completely turned their wariness around.

It was the start of his 'finding himself' journey, but for the first time, Branch started to feel... appreciated. Yes, these trolls didn't know him- but they looked at him, looked at what he can do, and called him accomplished; they were praising his skills, and called him valuable.

(But some sense of danger remained with him; as far as he believed, 'Branch' was left behind to rot away in his bunker. So when introducing himself, and habit got better of him, he started with "Bra-" but caught himself and finished "-mble"; and that new name, 'Bramble', stuck XD Still a plant name, still close enough that he can learn to repond to it- and honestly, feels like fits him better right now, as he feel all out of sorts)

It was only the first step, maybe, but it was a step toward feeling that he had some worth.

I think, out of all the Tribes, he stays with the Country trolls for the longest; yes, the life there is hard, but that is perhaps why he feels most welcomed there. There are no useless nonsense parties, no senseless dancing- the times when they can finaly wipe their brow and relax is when the community gathers together and they just... talk. Sit around, share food, look at the stars and reminiscence.

It's all very subdued, and even though Branch is the most obvious outsider ever, he feels like one with the community, and that by itself is already healing a deep wound he didnt know he had.

When the country trolls finally start singing on their good day, Branch is rather taken aback (He forgot, that Trolls are Trolls, and Trolls sing)- but the sombre and slow melody and topic of the country speaks to him, and while he doesnt join- and they dont push him to join- he listens, and he appreicates.

It is with Country Trolls that he heals most of his trauma when it comes to music. His Grandma and his Brothers leaving him are still a big guilt that weights him down- and something he wont address for a long time- but Country trolls shows him that music can be wildly different. He still doesnt sing, but when offered to be taught to play a banjo (XD), he probably doesnt refuse- mainly out of fear of insult, but also because for the first time in his life, he wants to actually try.

As time passes, his more curious side comes out- he asks questions, wants to know everything- up to this point, he didn't even know that the Country trolls were country- and to them it was obvious what they were, so why would they need to introduce themselves?

That line of questioning leads to the explanation of the other Tribes existing, and that each Tribes' music is different.

And for the first time in his life, Branch felt something alien to him- burning Wanderlust. (Bit of his Rock herritage showing, eh? Solo Rock tour, Rite of Passage~?) The thirst for knowledge was always there- after all, his bunker had many journals filled to brim with information about what he discovered in the foods, helpful tips for survival and many plans for inventions- but those were always done out of necessity, discovered and noted down so that he could live another say. Never before he had a desire to discover simply for the sake of discovering.

Never before he also actually felt like he had the option to do so; the world has always been an inhospitable wilderness to him, only filled with a small handful of trolls and a town full of monstrous giants. His childhood was filled with memory of a large iron cage, and that trapped feeling didn't change; after all, his Bunker, for all that it offered him safety, was a different type of cage too. The whole Troll Village- Pop Village, as he learned now- was another cage as well. Gilded one, made of ignorance.

And so he knew his time with the country trolls came to an end- and it was because he grew to respect them and appreciate them, that he doesnt disappear in the nigh and haltingly tells them his decision to leave and explore.

Memories of his Brothers' argument echo through his mind as he waits for the inevitable blow up, but.... he is once again surprised when the trolls just accepts this decision and wish him all the best- going as far as to help him pack- properly this time- and wheedling out of him a promise to check in once in a while, whenever he is in the neighbourhood.

Equipped with a non outdated map, he decides to make visit all the other territories one by one, starting from Country and heading right towards Classical, going around in one large circle around Pop Territory- Going to Techno after Classical, and to Rock right after that. Funk is largely a mystery to him- the Country trolls are at this point content to believe they are just a myth- much the same way a unicorn is to us- but Branch wants to keep an open mind.

After all, he himself had no idea other kind of trolls existed, so why dismiss the Funk Troll existence right away?

His travels to Symphonyville proved to be as challenging as was the start of his trip towards Country territory. Being high in the mountains- higher than anywhere Branch ever went- really showed him that walking is easy only when the road is straight and flat.

The air growing colder and thinning, he probably doesn't make the best first impression neither- especially in his dishevelled state, he is once more mistaken for a Rock Troll, and it takes a gargantuan amount of effort to convince anyone that he is simply there to learn music, and not cause any trouble.

Out of all the Tribes, he would stay with the Classical trolls the shortest. They are strict teachers, and their culture is very frigid and traditional- and Branch knows that he would have to wildly change himself to fit among them. Yet looking around, seeing the tall spires of the buildings around him, he finds he doesn't really want to. The grandiose of everything is rather intimidating- but even if he tried his best, he would never fit well among the classical trolls, always limited by something (like his ability to fly)

And realizes that was okay. That was acceptable. And that the classical trolls knew he wasn't a good fit now, and would hardly ever be a good fit ever- but they never expected him to become someone he is not. He asked them to teach him and so teach him they will- but you cant force a white sheep to grow black wool anymore that you can force a black sheep grow white.

The moment they realize Branch is there to learn and not wreck their peace like wandering Rock Trolls tend to do, they definitelly warm up to him more- but it still with the mildest of disapprovals since compared to them, Branch looks like a scrunkly kitten and all of them are just itching to groom him properly XD

Branch himself is amazed at the variety of musical instruments that exists and very quickly finds that he is not a progidy in plaing them all pff. Wind musical instruments are most likely completely beyond him, and after some attempts gives them up for a lost cause. Percussion fairs a bit better; he definitelly has some idea how to keep a beat and a rhythm, but even there he finds playing piano the most comfortable out of them all, with drums being a close second.

It is with string instruments that he trully shines, especially those that he can play with his own hands, without the need to use a pick or a bow; a tentative hint at his connection to music, the vibrations just send shivers down his spine and makes him feel more close to the sound his playing produces. (Guitar and Harp becoming his favourite instruments from the get go).

Getting to Techno was trickier. Them living underwater makes access to their territory rather impossible- unless Branch happens to meet someone willing to cross then bridge between Land and Sea XD

It makes for a rather convenient introduction for minor genres; the land bordering Classical and Rock seems to be as the perfect land for various minor tribes to cohabit in peace.

Are there Techno Opera trolls? Siren like beings, that found their homes on the deck of boats, sailing from and to an island after island? Techno Classical that built their living on the coast line, wanting to be close to both land and sea?

In any case, Branch discovers that even with music it's not so simple as shelving it into labels, and that it is ever growing, ever evolving. He never manages to actually visit Techno Reef, but he doesnt' need to; compared to other trolls, the Techno Trolls are not insular, and quite happily come to the surface or to the coast, both to vibe with the offshoots of their genre, to discover what they came up with, but also to simply make friends and have fun.

It was the first time Branch encountered a large party not unsimilar to that of a Pop Troll one- and yet for all that the party was just as loud and wild as he was used to seeing, the sight of it didnt really fill him with uncontrollable panic. It definitelly helped it was once again more about the music and the beat itself, and about the mood of the partygoers than it was about the singing; it was about experimentation and trying out new things- and yet not every troll was dancing around like maniacs. They had the stage for sure, and large crowd was gathering there- but there were also the fringe areas and corners, where Trolls just sat and chatted and bopped to the beat. Not forced to do anything they didn't want to, simply allowed to have fun in their own way.

He doesnt really interacts with the Techno Trolls that much, beyond when there is a party happening on the surface. Gravitates more towards exploring the Minor Territory, and discovering that it holds more than just Techno Classical/Opera. Not wanting to stray too close to the border with Pop, he nevertheless encounters encounters various offshoots of Pop as well- and the K-Pop gang as well

This definitelly allows him to learnt that even the Trolls Kingdom are not free of corruption and the bounty hunters are not starving for contracts- crime does happen in the troll kingdoms, and when the local police force comes short, the bounty hunters are the next best thing to employ.

Speaking with the K-Pop gang, he learns- with a bit of unease- that there was an old contract unfulfilled, that searched for all the Brozone Brothers, and thanked his lucky stars he can in no way be connected to them. It was considered a cold one, where there was no hope among the communities of it ever being cashed in- but the knowledge someone was looking for them- specifically for the younger of the brothers (Him, Floyd and Clay) made him wonder who could it be.

(Part of him entertained that it could be John Dory)

(Other part dismissed it right away. After all, JD did specifically state 'Goodbye Forever'- why would he make the effort to employ bounty hunters to find three of his brothers, if he was even alive to do so?)

That meetings seems to set of a string of bad luck- at least, that's how he feels. Continuing down to Rock territory- of which he is most wary (after all, he was constantly being confused for one, and expected to cause mayhem and destruction- so what kind of Trolls Rock Trolls were to earn that reputation?

A very specific kind- wild and chaotic.

Compared to other Territories, no-one blinks when he just walks in and continues deeper into the Kingdom; and he can finally see why he was mistaken for a Rock Troll. Muted colours, sharp smiles and even sharper claws, it was like walking into uncanny valley, where nearly every troll wears his face. At that point, unknown to him, his colours are not completely grey and black, so he is sporting some faint hues, and very quickly learns that thanks to the direction he came from, Rock Trolls think he is from an Offshoot genre; either Punk Rock or Pop Rock (though they obviously hope for the former) They reconsider him to Folk Rock when he brings out softer tunes that he plays on a borrowed guitar; and for the first time in a while, Branch is asked to sing.

He panics, obviously- playing musical instrument is one thing, but getting over his trauma from singing is another- and quite swiftly and bluntly refuses, cringing after to wait for the inevitable "You are a Troll, why don't you sing?"

Only... it never comes. There are shrugs, and one "Cool." and then he just gets invited to an Indie Rock show, and that is that.

Completely baffled at this easy acceptance, Branch agrees out of shock, before he can trully think it through- and realizes it's the first time since he left Pop Village (at this point probably nearly two years ago) that he thinks back on its inhabitants and namely Poppy.

He feels rather guilty, for taking this long to really give them a concrete thought. Like yes, he did think of them at the beginning, when he lived with the Country trolls- but that was only in general way, comparing the different livestyles. He never really chose to think about the people he left behind.

Now, no longer blinded with grief, self-loathing and rampart paranoia, he does remember that not all adults in his life went out of their way to activelly fail him. King Peppy, for all that he was unequipped to deal with Branch's issues, tried to check up on him regularly; his Grandmother's friends or those who knew her, made it their goal to be kind, even if Branch tried to avoid them out of reminder what he caused

Hype, Trickie, Boom and Ablaze were old friends- his childhood friends- the ones he made after his brothers left, and the ones he pushed away after he went grey- and yet they still managed to be around, noticing them from a distance, even as he stopped speaking to them.

And then there was, of course, Poppy.

Just starting to mature when he left, it's not quite a crush that he feels for her (not yet anyway), but there is still some sort of appreciation for her- some part of him, that subconsciously aches at the need to be close to her, and feeling just that bit of her warmth and positivity- one that made him wistfully keep all her invitations and listen to the sound of her recorded voice.

For the first time, he wonders how they reacted to his disappearence. Wonders if they miss him- or if they curse him. If they do both- like he felt conflicted towards his brothers, the older he got and the more obvious it became that they are not coming back.

It was that thought- the comparison to his brothers- that pushed him to hesitantly think about returning back to Pop Village; to his bunker, to his old life- to Poppy.

It was a tentative thought really; truthfully, the desire was a half hearted spur of the moment, and not something he would drop everything for. He didn't miss his old life; where he was the village hermit, the outcast, the weird one. Besides, he just arrived in Rock, and he still had a whole adventure ahead of him, trying to find the Funk trolls.

And so, When in Rome, do as the Romans do- and so Branch steeled himself to attend a party, one that he was specifically invited to; after all, he had been at parties before now, within the reach of Techno Reef, it's not like this one is any different

Only it kind of felt like it- yes, the music was harsher, the beat went harder- but the harmonizing of voices reminded him so close of his own tribe that it just left him feeling jittery- and at first, yes, the party made him tense and hardly participate, but as it went on, song after song, he could feel himself slowly relax.

(Besides, there was something about rock music, that send warmth straight to the core of his being; something about it resonated with him more than any other music did, besides Pop- and where before he fought hard to not allow it to do that, perhaps, just this time, he could try the opposite)

(After all, they were underground, where Branch always felt the safest, and the Bergens had no idea other tribes even existed- he could indulge a little)

Of course, fate has a funny way of entertaining itself, and in the second of his indecisiveness, he gets bumped into and trips and falls- or he would, if pair of hands didn't steady him, and familiar voice asked him if he was okay

And Branch suddenly felt altogether three years old, getting fed empty promise and watching his older brother disappear through the entry to his Grandma's pod

And he is now in present, left staring at nearly 15 years older Floyd, his brother clearly living the best life, happily away from Pop Territory (away from Branch)

His name drops from his lips before Branch can stop himself, and that has Floy pause and squint at him- obviously not recognizing him, obviously trying to place him- before something clicks and his eyes widen and he goes pale

Branch most likely punches him- and then finds he cant stop heaving in fury and goes punch him again, not allowing Floyd a word in (honestly, he is not punching very hard, not apart from that first one)

Of course, Floyd is hardly alone, probably in a band, and his band mates are not keen on having their member be attacked by a random troll

Brawl very easily breaks out- honestly nothing new among the Rock Trolls- and ends up with all of them, especially Branch, thrown in a cell for their troubles, much to the protest of Floyd's bandmates, who curses and claims innocence

For the first time in forever, Branch feels hollowed out; yes, he had been hoping for a closure- but honestly, he had expected to find all of his brothers dead; not finding any of them living happily away, their youngest brother not even a blip of concern in their mind.

He certainly never expected it from Floyd, who essentially lived a stone throw away; who clearly was able to cross the distance it took from Bergen town to arrive in Rock troll's territory, just shy away from the Pop one.

------------------------------------------------------------ This is where I will stop the musing for now XD;

Obviously there are more things to add; Barb would make appearance, not yet as a Queen but definitelly in charge of keeping any Rock Trolls in line (she is not called a Princess because the Rock Trolls don't use that title for their heirs) and while Floyd is aware she is the future Queen, that information doesnt get shared)

The discovery of Funk Trolls still awaits as well, as does Branch's return to Lonesome Flats, as he had promised to do

But that's for the next time :)

[crunchycoookies]

how did branch run away from the pop trolls and how his journey finding his way the country trolls went???????

Tbh the Pop trolls aren’t very attentive to anything that isn’t cupcakes and rainbows. It’s fairly easy for Branch to slip away and the village doesn’t care. They treated him differently because of his grayness so it’s a relief to them when he seemingly disappears.

As for how Branch found the country trolls…I think Lonsome Flats is closer to Pop territory since we see in TWT Poppy, Branch, and Biggie go there just after seeing what remained of the classical trolls home. Although Branch’s journey took far longer due to him being on foot.

Branch is a survivalist so it’s not hard for him to survive the many dangers of the forest. Once he gets to the desert flats he’s in foreign territory which makes him vulnerable. After a run in with a critter he manages to sprain his ankle. This is how Delta finds him when she decides to take him to town.

[sgiandubh]

Out of the OL bubble

Sidenote: this post owes everything to the incredible sleuthing skills of an already longtime trusted friend, who wishes to remain discreet. All credit goes entirely to her - this is such an idiotic topic, yet the Ur Troll insists.

I answered one of you in the comment threads yesterday, that once you get the hell out of the OL bubble, things begin to make sense. Why? Well, because of distance and context, I suppose. And also because this always was the dirty little secret of our Dedicated Manipulative Trolls: to make you believe in a terribly poor narrative, fit for a linear world. A world without compromise, drama, secrets and lies. Collective lack of time, perspective and/or Internet research skills did the rest and gave birth to this monster: the OL Fandom.

We are now told and are supposed to believe that because Scottish Xena apparently chose on purpose (with this and only this, I could agree, but for opposite reasons) to show us she trains in a Cumbernauld gym, that means... well, you know the rest and it involves The Magic Golden Dirk. That troll was never exactly subtle, was she, bless her heart?

That mother and entrepreneur has a life of her own and an entourage of her own and business collaborations of her own and her own agenda. Some of it is shown on her Instagram account, most of it can be speculated. Connecting dots just for the sake of it is neither productive, nor remotely interesting.

Let's see, for example, how she reacts to a very insistent fellow German athlete, whom she is going to meet at the Hyrox Cologne event (13-14th of April, during the Landcon week-end):

😬😱

What is Flamingos Club? Nope, not an ikebana society, no:

Tee-hee.

They were there before, in good company, last year, when they actually first met (rings a bell?):

(April 2023, ok? I am still waiting for my own DeLorean)

Who is this guy?

Fellow athlete, HYROX Ambassador (something I bet the farm she wants to achieve) and a contestant in this year's German reality show First Dates Hotel, on VOX (https://www.vox.de/cms/sendungen/first-dates-hotel.html):

The concept is simple: a renowned German chef, Roland Trettl (no idea!) now takes his blind date cooking show to the next level, with singles from all over the country parked into a Spanish dream holiday resort (Mallorca), shake, stir and see whatever happens. The classical Endemol recipe, now produced by Twenty Twenty. It also has an UK version, running on Channel 4 (coincidence? I doubt that very much, thank you!).

On set, Max's 'love interest' is a certain Linda. He recently wrote her ' a sweet love letter', taking the good advice of his namesake cast friend Max-the-Bartender:

(I swear to God, I feel like I am prostituting my 🧠, right now).

There is obviously nothing to see, here (or is it, such as two wannabes desperately wanting limelight?). She leads the typical no strings attached life of a single mom and he is still looking for a real job:

Since VOX does not give his full name, neither will I. It took five minutes to find him, with a bit of luck.

Why on Earth would one connect that woman to S, rather than to this nice, ambitious Bavarian?

I know why. It's almost too damn easy.

Two words: Channel 4. Truman Show. Ginger and Fred (oops, these are Our Couple).

Is it anything we haven't seen before?

Nope. We've seen way worse. But gone are the Days of Flukenzie Floozy.

[Edited] - there is no need to further expose our people.

[ticktockmyclockworkhart]

Trolls redesigns part 2: rock trolls!

Tbh Riff already looked great but I wanted to follow the pattern with Branch and Poppy and have two trolls per genre of each redesign set I do. Anyway below the cut are my thoughts on designing them!

So all the troll types are based on some kind of creature right? Of course there's the pop trolls with their most direct good luck troll inspired designs, techno trolls are merfolk, funk trolls are... llamas? country trolls are centaurs and classical trolls are like cherubs/fairies, but rock trolls are kind of just gray/muted pop trolls and don't have their own thing really. So I decided I wanted to give them a more unique design inspired by some other kind of creature (also to make the pop trolls more unique in themselves) so my rock trolls are inspired by bats! I was considering giving them flight membrane too but decided it would make the design a bit too busy so I axed it. So yeah, my rock trolls are bats.

I imagine they stand at a slightly shorter height than pop trolls on average and are more nimble and maneuverable than most trolls. Fitting to their mountainous home, they're somewhat like mountain goats in that they have excellent balance and like being up high. They can leap great heights and distances and have excellent hearing that is somehow not blown out by their crazy loud tunes. Like bats, they're primarily nocturnal. They usually come in muted, desaturated cool colors. They have heart-shaped, flat bat noses, sharp teeth, black scleras, large bat ears, flat spines starting at their lower back, and short, thick tails. Now onto the individual designs!

Barb already served cunt tbh and there wasn't much about her I wanted to change beyond physical characteristics, but style wise she's mostly the same. One thing about the rock trolls I was a bit disappointed with was how little leather their outfits had! So I gave her a leather jacket and no shirt.

Riff also was already dope looking, so I did some minor things here and there like changing his jacket to a DIY sleeveless vest made of a hoodie because he's kinda got that t-boy swag and butchering your old dysphoria hoodie to make it into a sick new accessory is metal as hell. I also tied the handkerchief in his pocket around his neck. Why? Well, when you slam your face onto your drum set a lot, I imagine you're probably gonna end up pretty prone to nosebleeds, especially since my version of the rock trolls have even bigger noses. So bam! Accessible blood mop.

Hope yall like these! On to the next set!

[empressgeekt]

Trolls - Burning Branches au - World building Bits

Okay so this is basically little head canons and worldbuilding that I've been thinking over for the AU and I need to write them down somewhere.

Char = Branch as always

Thrash was a well traveled King who had appreciation for other tribes and wanted unity and peace but he never reached out out of fear. But its the reason he so easily accepts Char as his son.

Music can naturally be a weapon, but only the Funk and Rock trolls have really explored the concept.

The "perfect Family Harmony" is one of these musical weapons, and Peppy was the one who asked John Dory to complete the feat to save themselves from the Bergens.

Said Request is the reason behind, John pushed so hard (in addition to his own trauma reaction and OCD), and had Branch on stage as a literal infant.

The First ruler of the Pop Trolls was a Queen named "Madonna"

The first ruler of the Rock Trolls was a king named "Ozzy"

The Rock national anthem is "We will Rock you"

Thrash would sing "Halleluiah" to his kids as a lullaby

There are sub-cultures of Rock trolls, ranging from Heavy Metal to Classic Rock to Indie Rock

The Pop trolls' population was depleted from a vast empire to a small village, changing the connection between the populace and the Royal family. Making the two interact together on a daily causal basis

Other Tribes, such as Rock, Classical, Techno and Funk have a little more distance between the Royal family and Populace due to their vast numbers. Country Trolls are like Pop, small numbers in small closely knit settlements

The Rock Trolls have an advance education system (this is practically fact since, Riff claimed he was getting college credit for taking over the world in TWT, implying he's a student)

Char and Barb are spice-heads

Poppy always takes a sip from Char's cup

Floyd also went back to the Troll tree after it was abandoned and ended up finding a letter from Branch that said he was leaving the tree to find his brothers because everyone is mean to him after grandma died, and has breakdown that ends up with Floyd going grey.

The Doctor that Thrash trusts with Char as a child is named, Dr. Feelgood

Pop trolls have muscles in their scalp that help with Hair control, to swing between tree branches.

Rock trolls have tougher hands, feet and skin to protect themselves from the heat of a volcanic land they live in.

Rock rulers are coronated in the ashes of the Volcano by the religious leader that they call, the Black Sabbath

Rock music shifted more over to rage after the tribes split, creating the sub-culture of Heavy Metal

Char wears eye-liner to blend in with the Rock trolls better.

Clay is constantly begging Char to let him tinker with his guitar

And that's all I have right now...

[rocksibblingsau]

What are some head cannons you have for Country Branch? I loved the one you did for Classical Branch.

Amongst Country Trolls, most of his 'crazy preparedness' is seen as decent levelheadedness. At his worst he's comparable to the town eccentric who claims his cows can predict the future. Honestly homesteading comes with it's fair share of madness so he's really doing fine.

He doesn't have hooves and similar to Rock!Branch he needs protective gear so I like to imagine cowboy boots were invented for Branch! They might even have fake hooves (like Hickory wore) made for Branch so he feels like he fits in.

As a kid it was kind of like 'Bring your kid to work day' every day for him. He'd sit in the mayor's office and he organized stuff for Delta. He absolutely loves it.

Was jokingly named 'Branch Dusk' to match 'Delta Dawn' because he was her shadow since for years he mostly just followed her around, and he was kinda her opposite a bit.

He invented special crop coverings that helped stop harmful insects from eating their crops and help the soil retain water.

Candy isn't very common to the country clan, and there isn't a wide selection. Molasses or honey candies and licorice, along with candied fruit slices/peels. More common of a sweet would be baked goods like fruit pies, molasses cookies, jams and cakes. Not cakes like we know of, like vanilla or chocolate with icing. Look up 'composition cake' for an idea of what kind of cake they'd have! They also have ice cream, but it'd be more of a 'sweet cream' flavor, but maybe with fruit added! Branch is very fond of Country sweets, being considered to have an average sweet tooth amongst them. I like to think that most country trolls have trouble with Pop troll sweets, maybe even most other tribe sweets.

Branch loves canning, and he was already planning on learning about it. Canning is very serious business. Improperly canned food can kill you. Delta was very happy to see how seriously he took learning it, as kids attention spans can be... questionable. Most kids don't get to help with the actual canning process, helping out more with filling cans or prepping the vegetables/fruits.

One of his little body language quirks is he often grips his belt buckle when his hands are at rest.

He's sometimes frustrated by his lack of extra legs because the others can buck trees to help the fruit fall. He tried it and just hurt his foot and Delta Dawn was very clearly trying not to laugh while she iced his foot.

He doesn't notice that he gains a Country accent until he meets with Poppy and she points it out.

Holly Darlin thinks he's the cutest troll this side of the Kississippi.

He was really excited when his cousin Clampers was born. He helped Delta watch her egg and Clampers switches between his hair and hers. She likes how big Delta's hair is, but she sees Branch a bit like a big brother so he has that advantage.

Likes sitting on the porch in a rocking chair when it rains and looking at Delta and saying 'We needed that.'

Delta Dawn is both the Mayor and Sherriff, and Branch is her Deputy. Growley Pete is the jailer, but he's not very good at it. As Deputy he ends up having to deal with Hickory coming to turn in bounties.

Branch has not told his Ma that the bounty hunter who takes up most of the bounties flirts with him because the second he does there won't be any more bounty hunter who takes up most of the bounties.

[year2000electronics]

I am in love with your trolls brozone au very much! So I have an question : which one of his brothers branch meets first on the journey with poppy and biggie and what will be his reaction to John Dory helping Queen Barb?

thank you!! and thank you for the question! :]

i imagine john dory is actually the first one branch and poppy run into- he’d be the one who shows them the flyer for barb’s world tour and says he’s trying to assemble brozone to do the perfect family harmony and stop her, but branch says getting the band back together is a waste of time and they need to go stop her themselves- and the two of them part ways (for now)

then they meet clay in symphonyville, where they learn he’s the one who takes care of most of the “serious stuff” for the classical trolls, and he joins the group to get vengeance for the classical trolls

after that the group would go to lonesome flats and get thrown in jail as usual, but that’s where they meet floyd! he wants to fit in with the country trolls because their sad but genuine country music resonates with him but the country trolls are all on edge around him because they’re worried he, as a pop troll, might try to take over their genre, so he gets thrown in jail a lot when his singing sounds too happy. he’s okay with it though hes just happy to be here :) he would also say he would have visited pop village to see branch but that would have made the country trolls more suspicious of him

after hickory breaks them out and they have a close encounter fighting off chaz (and losing biggie), they wash up near vacay isle where they find bruce’s restaurant- at first they worry they’ve hit a dead end, but bruce reveals that he’s actually really close with the funk trolls and that they’ve parked their ship here for the evening! that’s when they reunite with cooper and find out the truth about the six strings

then the rest of the movie happens but at the end it’s revealed that john dory and barb are working together now because barb has convinced him that brozone can be one big family again if they’re united under ROCK N ROLL! (which is also when he switches to his glamrock design)

i think branch would be pretty mad about jd joining barb, especially since he was against it at first- he’d also feel pretty betrayed i bet