#because he is my cultural Jeffrey

[xxweyussyenjoyerxx]

@jeffrey-combs-smash-or-pass oh boy it’s Dino B time!

[i-looove-dillydallying]

Yeah the pedo competing in the olympics sucks (and that deserves attention) but what does that have to do with his nationality

[writinginaforrest]

Yes, I’m Transgender, but I’m not “Trans”

(31st Aug 2024)

When I think about this too much, I always come to the conclusion that I have got some internalised Transphobia. I identify as Male. I use He/Him pronouns. I dress in a way that conforms to the Gendered Norms of my culture. I’m just a guy. When “Trans” is added as a descriptor, not only does that become a thing about me, but it also sets me aside from other men. I’m not a Man, I’m a Trans Man. I’m a pseudo-masculine thing. When people realise I’m Transgender, I feel Castrated. That sounds pretty dang transphobic, doesn’t it. 

The way people have expected me to be Trans often Superseded what Transness is to me. I had a lecturer in college who insisted that my depression was, In part, a result of my going home every day to a family who did not know I was Trans. She sat there and looked me in the eyes and I watched myself in the reflection of her eyes becoming an anecdote in real time. I’ll always be her “Trans Student” who did remarkably well in her class before dropping off in his second year when he got a different teacher. For reference, my family may not have known that I am Trans, but It’s very rare that my deadname is used in my home. I’m referred to by my Middle name almost exclusively. Jeff (Jeffrey). And in reality. Transness was not something that was always on my mind and even now, I can be sure that it was not fueling my depression. My Undealt with sexual trauma? That’s a different story. But my being Trans wasn’t it. I didn’t even think about it that much. I still don’t. It’s not something that is an integral part of me. I would be no different If I had been born Cisgender. 

And that’s the thing. “Trans” carries a lot of weight to it, doesn’t it? A lot of people really connect to it on a level beyond it being simply a descriptor. It’s a culture, an experience, a mindset, an ideology, and what can I say to those people? Well done? Thank you? I don’t really have much to say, and that’s part of my problem. A lot of Trans artists are, at least partly, inspired by their queer experiences. I’m an artist (I yell into the void) and yet nothing about being Queer inspires art within me. I have nothing to say. My art would be the same if I were Cisgender. If I were Allosexual. I would be the same because I am not these descriptors that have been decided for me based on the way I live my life. 

“Trans” has become a commodity that I can’t escape. It’s something I’m supposed to stick on my laptop. It’s something I’m supposed to pin on my wall. It’s a lifestyle. A trait. A Community. A Culture. An Ideology. A Concept. An Abstraction. It’s everything and it’s nothing. I’m supposed to disclose it with pride when I meet new people. I’m supposed to warn Littluns about the dangers of not expressing themselves and being comfortable in their identity when I can’t even deliver on that. I’m supposed to do all these things. 

But no one is asking me to. 

No one is telling me to be “Trans”. 

I’m looking around at all of my Trans brothers and sisters and wondering if that’s behaviour I should emulate because I  have a) no frame of reference and b) no connection to Transess as a concept. I feel like I’m doing a disservice to those who feel a connection to it as a concept, when I only see it as an adjective. When I try to remove myself from it as much as possible. And again here comes the internalised Transphobia knocking at my window.

I’m an artist, A filmmaker, and a writer. I’ve never felt compelled to tell Trans stories. Is it because I don’t want to be pigeonholed into this idea of Transness that again, supersedes my own, or is it because I’m ashamed of it? Am I acknowledging that I am more than a Trans artist or am I just not taking pride in the fact that I’m going to have to live with being Trans for the rest of my life? It’s not something that goes away. Trans doesn’t stop. I Will always be Transgender and I have to cope with that because I am male and I was not born that way. 

I don’t Identify with Queerness. I don’t identify as Transgender. It is something I am, a thing that I cannot help. I Identify as Male, Transgender was just something that came free in the post. I didn't understand the terms and conditions of it. I'm dyslexic, you expect me to read the fine print?

Where does this end? What’s the accumulation of all of this thinking? I do not know. It doesn’t end. The debate where I am my own interlocutor only ends with more questions that I must ask myself. 

[nerdygaymormon]

A podcast episode was recently released of Sheri Dew interviewing Elder Holland, and part of the episode involved him reacting to his "musket fire" address at BYU from 3 years ago. I responded to his remarks in this post.

I was contacted by a reporter with the Salt Lake Tribune who sent me the following: In a recent interview with Sheri Dew, Elder Holland reflected on the "musket" speech and the response he received from it. I am curious: Are they enough? Are they helpful? And what fallout did you witness/experience at the time and in the wake of the address?

I sent a 3 paragraph response, from which they chose 1 sentence. I knew they wouldn't run my whole response, but I thought I'd share on my blog what I sent.

—————————————————

One thing I hope people understand is that most minorities grow up within a culture that helps give them a sense of solidarity, a group of people that they can go back to, usually their family. There’s a sense that I’m learning to navigate being this particular minority within a larger culture. LGBTQ+ individuals are generally without this support. We have a minority experience that’s different because we generally experience this individually. It's an individual process to try to understand ourselves and our place in society. There is stress involved in recognizing yourself as an identity that separates you as an individual minority within your family and within your religion and your university. This makes queer people, especially those who are younger, vulnerable. It's important for queer individuals to know others like themselves, to find a community where they have a sense of belonging and don't have to hide, to feel hope that the future is gonna be better. We need love, support, guidance, acceptance and affirmations. It's difficult to stop hiding and come out and be authentic about our feelings and our experiences if the messages we get are that you are not wanted, you don't belong.  

Just before Elder Holland spoke to BYU faculty and staff 3 years ago, the president of BYU in Provo announced the creation of the Office of Belonging which aimed to root out prejudice of any kind on campus, and then Elder Holland gave his message that he wanted to stop all the ways queer students have made their presence known—no flag waving or protests or sharing some heartfelt words at graduation, no lighting the Y in Pride colors. That was crushing as it feels like just existing is considered problematic, that we are to remain unseen and unknown.

I know several queer individuals who've met with Elder Holland and they have shared that he is caring, he listened to them and cried with them. He is aware of the hurt and pain they experience in this church. His remarks on the podcast reflect the compassion he showed to my friends. I am glad that he acknowledges his address from 3 years ago at BYU caused a lot of pain to LGBTQ students and members. That was important. I wish that the compassion he feels for the pain of queer students and members would be turned into a desire to want a better place for us at BYU and in the Church. 

[raythekiller]

Hi, I've been reading your works and I'm envious. Your scenarios and headcanons are so cool :D I was wondering if you could make a headcanon for the creeps living with a Latina recruit who is sassy but caring to the point she (or they) will aggressively take care of someone if they aren't feeling well. Hope it isn't too much out of your comfort zone. Have a good day and take care

<3333

🗒 ❛ Sassy But Caring Latinx! Reader ༉‧₊˚✧

Featuring: Jeff The Killer, Ben Drowned, Ticci Toby, Eyeless Jack, Masky

#Notes: as a dad friend sassy latino myself this one was right up my alley ty

pronouns used: none

˗ˏˋ back to navigation ´ˎ˗

꒰⸝⸝₊⛓┊Jeff The Killer

You definitely give him a lot of shit. When you first arrive he's all cocky thinking he has a new victim, but then as soon as you opened your mouth, boom, he got dragged. Since he's quite the troublemaker, you'll probably be screaming at him a lot.

"¡Jeff! ¿Que chingado estás hacendo?"

"Slender, the new recruit is speaking tongues again!"

Secretly thinks it's kinda hot when you speak Spanish. The rolling r's just do something to him. While he's absolutely not gonna try to learn it, he ends up picking up a thing or two just from hearing you and the context of the situation. Can't speak it to save his life, though. Still, he makes fun of your language all the time.

"What, you forgot English already?"

Also, he's like, terrible with self care. Not as bad as Ben, but still pretty bad. Doesn't shower for days and hates drinking water. You'll have to threaten him with a chancla to get him to actually take some care of himself.

"¡Jeffrey Woods, chingada madre, limpia tu habitación!"

"You can't fucking make me!"

꒰⸝⸝₊⛓┊Ben Drowned

Little mister Hasn't Showered, Slept Or Eaten In A Week over here. I swear, this guy is helpless. Spends all his time cupped up in his room playing videogames and eating nothings but trash like some kind of fucking raccoon. You'll have the hardest time trying to take care of him.

"Ben, how long has it been since the last time you showered?"

"Uhmm... I don't know, about 9 days?"

" *sighs in spanish* "

Genuinely terrified of you when you get mad and start cussing in Spanish. He'll clean his room, he promises, just please put the chancla down!

Will actually be really happy if you make him Hispanic food. Not only does it taste good, but you made it for him because you care about him, and that means the world. He can't handle spicy stuff though, so be careful.

꒰⸝⸝₊⛓┊Ticci Toby

Not too bad in general when it comes to taking care of himself, but he does just... Forget to eat. All the time. He will just suddenly get light headed and remember he hasn't eaten a bite of food in the last 3-4 days. Another one who loves if you make him Hispanic food, but unlike Ben, he likes his shit extra spicy. Probably one of the only creeps who will try to learn Spanish to understand you better, even if you're fluent in English.

"H-hola, Y/N. Como- como estás?"

"Estoy bien, pero no necessitas hablar conmigo en español, chulo."

Yes, you call him "chulo". He will also listen to the music and just try to learn more of the culture in general to make you feel more welcome. Overall, genuinely puts in an effort in taking better care of himself so you don't have to worry about him as much.

꒰⸝⸝₊⛓┊Eyeless Jack

I'd be surprised if he didn't know Spanish already, which was probably a bit of a shock to you, but a good one nonetheless. He's not normally into gossip, but there's something extremely funny about talking shit about someone while they're right there and they have no idea what you're saying.

"Jeff es tan jodidamente estúpido."

"Sí, ¿verdad?"

"The FUCK you two talkin about?"

You won't have to worry about him much, he takes basic care of himself unlike most of the others. If anything, he's scolding rhe others WITH you. You're basically the parents of everyone else at this point.

꒰⸝⸝₊⛓┊Masky

Has the biggest fucking crush on you and will forever be mad about it. I said this in the ideal S/O post - he needs someone who gives him shit but also looks out for him and the others. The fact that latino people are extra hot is just a bonus. Unfortunately, this also means he's extra mean to you.

"Tienes que dejar de fumar. Te va a joder los pulmones así."

"Sorry, doll, I don't speak 'freak'."

Like Jeff, secretly thinks it's hot when you speak in your language. Hates when you scold him, loves it when you scold others, especially if you get extra mad and start cussing in Spanish. It's just amusing to him. Plus, you make things easier for him now that he's not the only one parenting these weirdos and he's genuinely glad you came along.

[leporellian]

How are we meant to look at operas, anyway? (and what are they?)

Operas are my favorite art form of them all. This is because I think they are "just really neato" and "the most interesting to study". However, if you were to go around and ask what Defines an opera? Nobody would have a concrete and true answer to the question. They aren’t ‘sung through stage works’ because many operas aren’t sung through and non-operas that are. They have no specific orchestra or singing requirements. Even determining them on a cultural basis doesn’t entirely fit. I actually think ‘art’ is too loose and philosophical a term for what they are either. (I mean, yes, they are art. But how are they so?)  

I think that while there’s no concrete definition for what an opera actually is, there ARE certain sets of… rules (for lack of a better word) that dictate how operas Are and what we should do when Seeing them. Funnily enough, the most complete rules I’ve seen for operas I found in an essay that has nothing to do with operas at all- “Monster Culture: Seven Theses” by Jeffrey Jerome Cohen. My rules for How To Look At Operas are heavily derived from that essay, interpreted in ways to best fit the art form. 

My Rules of Opera (with apologies to Mr. Cohen):

1. The Opera’s Body is a Cultural Body.

Operas are sociological and anthropological records that entail a gap in time between their composition and their performance. They contain as many perspectives as there are people aware of them. Every time you watch an opera, you are negotiating with something or someone else. And these records are always being added onto- no opera is ever truly ‘complete’. 

Operas cannot truly be escapist entertainment because they directly reflect societal problems in both the composer’s time and ours. La Traviata’s main conflict- the way sex workers are demonized and unsupported among ‘polite society’ and how societal expectations and the pressure to conform destroys lives- is something that existed in Verdi’s time, and our own. La Traviata is about the sex workers of today who can’t find work anywhere. It is also about how Giuseppe Verdi’s wife was poorly-treated by the people around her for having been sexually active before their marriage. It is also about the gap between these two events, and how one thing became (or still is) another. 

An opera production is not a recreation. No matter how ‘original production accurate’ they claim to be, they are always a negotiation. There is no such thing as accuracy, as civic law. Once one is freed of the expectation of ‘canon’ or ‘what ought to be’ in an opera, one can deal with these creatures more handily. 

2. The Opera Always Escapes.

No matter how many times Don Giovanni is dragged off to hell at the end of Mozart’s opera of the same name, he always reappears again in a fresh new staging. He never stays down there. Maybe the gates to Hell are looser than we imagine- or, more likely, this is because he represents something that cannot be defeated. What does the character represent? Abuse, sexual violence, power (with class, with gender, with religion); grief, loss, death. None of these things will go away in our lifetimes or the next, and so Don Giovanni as an opera remains relevant. 

In fact, there are no ‘irrelevant’ operas in the standard canon as we know them. Any irrelevant operas that did exist are long gone because there would be no reason to revive them. Even operas that have ‘aged poorly’, like Turandot, confront us with why they’ve poorly aged and force us to reckon with some part of our current world. We react to them in some way and therefore they are worth further looking into.

I call this the “All Dogs go to Heaven” theorem because it doesn’t argue that all operas adhere to the same standard of quality, or are even written with good intentions in mind- but it does argue that they all are worth studying and experiencing. And any opera, as long as a copy of its score and libretto exists, can come back from the dead. So just like the movie, not all of them stay there.

3. The Opera is the Harbinger of Category Crisis.

One of the most common ways to explain away what an opera is, against a musical or a straight play, is to claim that operas are sung through while musicals feature spoken dialogue. Respectfully, this is wrong and insane. Two of the most famous operas of all- Carmen and The Magic Flute- feature extensive spoken dialogue, while Hamilton and Cats (both sung through) are musicals. The notion of operas having specific orchestral or voice requirements isn’t quite true, either- each era of opera, and each opera, is a separate animal.

Is Porgy and Bess an opera, or is it a musical? It features many musical qualities with the latter, and was written by musical-writers - yet it is referred to as an opera. Sometimes it is both. Maybe at some point it could also be neither. Operas do not participate in the general categorization of their Western theatrical siblings. Musical, straight play, ballet- these art forms are immediately distinguishable as themselves. (Note that musicals, despite having a lot of variety, do not have as wild a diversity as operas do owing to their relative youth as an artform.) But an opera can be all three of these and still be an opera. Not only that but there’s so many ways for operas to be- chamber opera, verismo, singspiel, music drama, opera-in-jazz. The opera may borrow from any art, at any time. Its incorporeal form grants it the ability to shift. This is both opera’s great weakness and its greatest boon of all, maybe its most defining operative feature of them all- it can be anything you want it to be.

4. The Opera Dwells at the Gates of Difference.

With their characteristic exaggeration and other oddities, operas are immediately recognized as depicting a world that isn’t quite our own. It’s a world rooted in our own (see point 1) but it isn’t our world. We don’t sing, or gesticulate to that degree, or stab people at the drop of a hat to solve a problem. As much as opera tries to be ‘like us’, it never is entirely so, in a sort of Frankenstein way. 

In this way it is no wonder that all operas focus around difference- from each other, from society, from ourselves. Sometimes this difference is explicit- the ‘othered’, shunned main characters characteristic of the Verdi operas, as in Rigoletto and La Forza del Destino- and sometimes it is more implicit (Tamino and Calaf being strangers to the people around them, Figaro’s position of a lowly barber among Counts and Dons, even Orpheus out of place in the Underworld). The opera seeks to represent the Other. Oftentimes the opera itself is the other. We are all made to learn a new set of social rules when we come to the opera- this equalizes us as an audience, and paradoxically renders us the Other. Opera is about othering and being othered. This is not necessarily good, or bad- it is just a neutral feature. 

5. The Opera Polices the Borders of the Possible.

Every opera begins with- and then revolves around- some kind of transgression. Moral (Don Giovanni slays the Commendatore), cultural (Pinkerton marries Cio-Cio San), societal (Alfredo falls for the courtesan Violetta). The way the opera’s narrative body reacts to this transgression is what will come to define that opera’s theme and what it stands for. Even in the most comic operas, the inciting incident is always a transgression; it is up to the interpreter to detect what the transgression actually is, and from this point the opera emerges all at once like a cracked egg.

Die Meistersinger Von Nurnberg is an interesting case study in transgression. The initial transgression may be seen as Walther joining the Meistersinger contest to win the hand of Eva- he is, after all, not initially a singer, and an intruder on the world of the (educated, cliquey) Meistersingers. But this is not true. Walther initially disrupts status quo when he boldly joins them but he doesn’t stay that way- he is a literal knight in shining armor; masculine and chivalrous, the exact image of how men ‘ought’ to be. Beckmesser, the clerk of the Meistersingers, is consistently depicted as an Other, the nitwit among geniuses; he is effeminate and overconfident, we laugh at his attempts at music making. It is Beckmesser entering the contest himself as a competitor to Walther that is the true transgression in the opera, and the opera surmises this as a bad thing that must be punished through public humiliation and further exclusion. While there is no proof that Wagner wrote Beckmesser to be explicitly antisemitic, the character appears to subconsciously reflect many of Wagner’s antisemitic talking points, adding a particularly cruel underbelly to the way the opera sees the transgression of Beckmesser’s inclusion.

6. Fear of the Opera is Really a Kind of Desire.

Operas are marked by multiple features: Their otherness, their transgressions, their propensity to shift. These all give operas a certain other quality: They are a vehicle for catharsis. The fact that opera is so physically demanding adds to this- an opera is a workout in which emotions about a certain endless topic can be expressed. Salome is terrifying, but through her we can express rage and pure obsession that otherwise would have no place in society. This is also where the falsehood of opera as escapism takes root: When the opera is not given the space to threaten, its catharsis is cauterized into fantasy.

Opera is a space where we can play- already something rare in adulthood- and through the opera we are allowed to play with terror (something even rarer). It is an abstract liminal location only maybe rivaled by a rollercoaster, a playroom, or a shrink’s couch. This sheer radical expression of emotion makes it also easily-mocked by a popular culture unfamiliar with it. I suspect this is because, really deep down, operas are envied. They are so upfront, so passionate, so heartbreakingly sincere that they make those who laugh at art seem small, laughable. But the art form carries on, being unapologetically itself because it cannot be anything else. 

7. The Opera Stands At The Threshold… of Becoming.

What Cohen writes here in the original essay is maybe my favorite paragraph about literary analysis ever written so I’m just going to leave it here in its entirety:

Why do we love opera? What are we meant to do with them, and why are they the way they are? We come to the opera to find ourselves. The rest is just postscript.

[squeakintothevoid]

Exmormon thoughts on the Book of Mormon Musical:

The whole thing was spectacularly irreverent

*does some googling* oh its written by the creators of south park, that makes sense

The bright and cheery forced smiles of the missionaries are accurate

The set is amazing, with it looking like an lds temple and everything. The backdrop with the clouds and the planets even looks like the giant murals they have in the temple visitors centers

I love the salt lake city backdrop with the mormon temple right in the middle surrounded by the more obvious corporations like McDonald's and stuff. Did you know the LDS church owns a mall in the same city? It even has a little river going through it

The spooky mormon hell dream sequence was the best thing i've ever witnessed. Especially as somebody who really did get guilt-fueled nightmares, albeit not as theatrical and hellish lol

Seeing the cups of coffee dancing in hell alongside Jeffrey Dahmer and Adolf Hitler was the best, my favorite moment

The song about turning off your uncomfortable/unapproved thoughts was also amazing. The actual phrase commonly used is putting the thought "on your shelf" to set it aside to think about later. There's literally a song they teach to toddlers about never frowning because nobody likes it and making yourself smile instead.

Hearing people crack up about things you used to believe sucks but finally you are surrounded by people who agree that this is ridiculous rather than people who think you are the crazy one for doubting

Mormons don't actually think Jesus was blond but they do think he visited America and most of the art makes him look northern European

Mormons don't really believe in a traditional hell or that Jesus hates you for sinning, but the level of guilt is still the same. Like that might as well be the case because your eternal afterlife is still at stake.

The "I Am Africa" song is so on point. Missionaries go to a foreign country and really do start wearing their traditional clothes and keep speaking the language even after coming home as if they really are part of the culture now

I was not expecting to see punk rock Darth Vader or Yoda or lieutenant Uhura or Sam and Frodo.

When Elder Price said "fuck," that was a blessed moment

I'm so glad I never actually went on a mission and could only relate so much. But that dedication to following all the rules in the missionary handbook is REAL and not even as intense as they portrayed it at times. The religious scrupulosity OCD is like no other. Like it's not unheard of for a missionary to keep working on their mission even if their mom or someone died while they were away.

There are still so many weird things about growing up mormon that they didn't even touch on. Like heaven being an MLM, multiple levels and everything.

Thanks for the read, feel free to ask any questions if you're curious because I like complaining about mormonism lol

[jo-harrington]

Corroded Coffin Fest - Day 16 - Struggling

Summary: Corroded Coffin gets an unconventional gig that might make them some good cash.

Word Count: 901

Rating: T

Warnings/Themes: Modern!Corroded Coffin, Older!Corrded Coffin, memes, friendship, bickering and banter, pop culture/social media reference (link at the end of the fic)

Check Out the Main Post for @corrodedcoffinfest here! Even if you didn’t start on Day 1, you can still join!

Tagging: @the-unforgivenn at her request. And @dr-aculaaa and @br0ck-eddie because I'm sorry yall are gonna get a kick out of this one.

You can find my masterlist here.

Please do not interact if you are not 18+.

Enjoy!

"I hate this."

"My shoes are too tight."

"We look ridiculous."

"I think," Eddie raised his voice so he could stop his friends bitching. "I think we look like a band that's about to be $500 richer."

"So we're just gonna be a band with $500?" Gareth asked, sneakily giving Jeff a high-five as Eddie grumbled at the joke.

Success was hard. Fame was hard. Even harder still when you needed money for things like rent and gas and food.

Not like those things were free when they were still in Hawkins, it was just harder now.

And they were a bunch of 20-somethings up against the whole world, and not just a handful of mediocre bands in their neck of the woods in middle-of-nowhere Indiana.

They were too young to have made it big on Youtube--not that they hadn't tried when they were still in high school--and too old to really understand how to make it big on tiktok.

They'd tried the flossing and the dances...it was just not them.

So random gigs it was; struggling to make ends meet, struggling to make it big.

Until they found something that was an unexpected money maker.

Who knew a comment on a video of them harmonizing with some vocal warm ups would lead to this.

Polished shoes, matching pants that they all had thanks to serving jobs, matching vests they got at some department store closing sale, and the piece de resistance that they actually paid a pretty penny for..straw hats.

Yes, their badass metal band moonlit as a barbershop quartet.

Weddings, anniversary parties, and birthday parties for half-awake octogenarians were their bread and butter. Cash in hand, maybe a little cake, it was great.

They got the loudest applause when they did songs like Let Me Call You Sweetheart and Down By The Old Mill Stream, ones they'd all thankfully learned in 8th grade choir. But sometimes happy couples requested something special, and so they began to spend just as much time practicing their a cappella covers as they did their original songs.

They all knew that they needed to put their pride behind them if they wanted to keep the lights on.

"It'll happen for us one day," they all agreed. "Just gotta wait for that first big opportunity and then we take it."

And of course, that opportunity presented itself as a Battle of the Bands at the Illinois State Fair.

It would be great for them. Big crowd, lots of cameras, and great exposure even if they didn't win.

They just needed the entry fee.

Which is why they were currently standing amidst a veritable sea of people backstage at yet another competition...ready to prove their place as the best barbershop quartet in the county.

So they could prove they were the best band in the state.

"What if we picked the wrong song?" Gareth stopped biting at his fingernails to ask. "I'm sure everyone else is going with something more traditional."

"Which means the judges will have heard those songs a million times before," Eddie argued.

"Originality is not a big part of the score Ed," Jeff reminded him. He thought it over for a second. "I don't think anyone's even gonna recognize our song."

"Then you don't have to sing and we'll just be a trio Jeffrey."

"Listen, I think it's gonna work," Dave interjected in a moment of uncharacteristic positivity. "And we're gonna win."

"That's the spirit," Eddie grinned and clapped his friend on the back.

"Or else we're gonna have to fake our deaths and change our names because we'll be the laughing stock of the metal community."

So much for a vote of confidence.

"The Four Horseman?" one of the event coordinators called to the groups backstage. "You guys are up."

The four of them tensed up.

"Alright, it's now or never," Eddie nodded, swallowing down a sudden bout of nerves.

They all popped their straw hats onto their heads and followed the coordinator out onto the stage. The four of them hummed together to harmonize and then Eddie stepped forward to introduce them.

He stammered through their introduction, almost as if he'd never been on stage before, and he kicked himself.

He was a performer, goddamn it. This was his destiny, their destiny.

And destiny was riding on this moment.

"We're the Four Horseman...and we're guys, so we--"

"Keep a little dirt under the pillow for the dirtman."

Jeff and Gareth fell into song with him, with Dave providing the bass.

"Dim-ba-dim-dim, dim-ba-dim dim."

"In case he comes to town."

The judges all looked a little shocked, but then they glanced around and smiled at each other.

"Keep a little dirt under my pillow for the dirtman."

"Dim-ba-dim-dim, bang bang dim."

"So he won't take me down."

By this verse the four of them had really gotten into the groove of their performance, singing and skatting and harmonizing beautifully. They even threw a little sway into their bodies, knowing that it wouldn't do to stand as still as statues for such a lively tune.

And by the end all four of them ended in sync--

"That's where he keeps his dirt bop-bah-dah-bop."

--and they earned themselves a standing ovation. Not just from the judges but also thunderous applause from the other quartets in the wings of the stage as well.

And $500.

Who knew that tiktok thing would work out after all...

[khensaptah]

Mystic Egyptian Polytheism Resource List

Because I wanted to do a little more digging into the philosophy elements explored in Mahmoud's book, I took the time tonight to pull together the recommended reading he listed toward the end of each chapter. The notes included are his own.

MEP discusses Pharaonic Egypt and Hellenistic Egypt, and thus some of these sources are relevant to Hellenic polytheists (hence me intruding in those tags)!

Note: extremely long text post under this read more.

What Are The Gods And The Myths?

ψ Jeremy Naydler’s Temple of the Cosmos: The Ancient Egyptian Experience of the Sacred is my top text recommendation for further exploration of this topic. It dives deep into how the ancients envisioned the gods and proposes how the various Egyptian cosmologies can be reconciled. ψ Jan Assmann’s Egyptian Solar Religion in the New Kingdom: Re, Amun and the Crisis of Polytheism focuses on New Kingdom theology by analyzing and comparing religious literature. Assmann fleshes out a kind of “monistic polytheism,” as well as a robust culture of personal piety that is reflected most prominently in the religious literature of this period. He shows how New Kingdom religious thought was an antecedent to concepts in Hermeticism and Neoplatonism. ψ Moustafa Gadalla’s Egyptian Divinities: The All Who Are The One provides a modern Egyptian analysis of the gods, including reviews of the most significant deities. Although Gadalla is not an academic, his insights and contributions as a native Egyptian Muslim with sympathies towards the ancient religion are valuable.

How to Think like an Egyptian

ψ Jan Assmann’s The Mind of Egypt: History and Meaning in the Time of the Pharaohs is my top text recommendation for further exploration of this topic. It illuminates Egyptian theology by exploring their ideals, values, mentalities, belief systems, and aspirations from the Old Kingdom period to the Ptolemaic period. ψ Garth Fowden’s The Egyptian Hermes: A Historical Approach to the Late Pagan Mind identifies the Egyptian character of religion and wisdom in late antiquity and provides a cultural and historical context to the Hermetica, a collection of Greco-Egyptian religious texts. ψ Christian Bull’s The Tradition of Hermes Trismegistus: The Egyptian Priestly Figure as a Teacher of Hellenized Wisdom provides a rich assessment of the Egyptian religious landscape at the end of widespread polytheism in Egypt and how it came to interact with and be codified in Greek schools of thought and their writings.

How To Think Like A Neoplatonist

Radek Chlup’s Proclus: An Introduction is my top text recommendation for further exploration of this topic. It addresses the Neoplatonic system of Proclus but gives an excellent overview of Neoplatonism generally. It contains many valuable graphics and charts that help illustrate the main ideas within Neoplatonism. ψ John Opsopaus’ The Secret Texts of Hellenic Polytheism: A Practical Guide to the Restored Pagan Religion of George Gemistos Plethon succinctly addresses several concepts in Neoplatonism from the point of view of Gemistos Plethon, a crypto-polytheist who lived during the final years of the Byzantine Empire. It provides insight into the practical application of Neoplatonism to ritual and religion. ψ Algis Uzdavinys’ Philosophy as a Rite of Rebirth: From Ancient Egypt to Neoplatonism draws connections between theological concepts and practices in Ancient Egypt to those represented in the writings and practices of the Neoplatonists.

What Is “Theurgy,” And How Do You Make A Prayer “Theurgical?”

ψ Jeffrey Kupperman’s Living Theurgy: A Course in Iamblichus’ Philosophy, Theology and Theurgy is my top text recommendation for further exploration of this topic. It is a practical guide on theurgy, complete with straightforward explanations of theurgical concepts and contemplative exercises for practice. ψ Gregory Shaw’s Theurgy and the Soul: The Neoplatonism of Iamblichus demonstrates how Iamblichus used religious ritual as the primary tool of the soul’s ascent towards God. He lays out how Iamblichus proposed using rites to achieve henosis. ψ Algis Uzdavinys’ Philosophy and Theurgy in Late Antiquity explores the various ways theurgy operated in the prime of its widespread usage. He focuses mainly on temple rites and how theurgy helped translate them into personal piety rituals.

What Is “Demiurgy,” And How Do I Do Devotional, “Demiurgical” Acts?

ψ Shannon Grimes’ Becoming Gold: Zosimos of Panopolis and the Alchemical Arts in Roman Egypt is my top text recommendation for further exploration of this topic. It constitutes an in-depth look at Zosimos—an Egyptian Hermetic priest, scribe, metallurgist, and alchemist. It explores alchemy (ancient chemistry and metallurgy) as material rites of the soul’s ascent. She shows how Zosimos believed that partaking in these practical arts produced divine realities and spiritual advancements. ψ Alison M. Robert’s Hathor’s Alchemy: The Ancient Egyptian Roots of the Hermetic Art delves deep temple inscriptions and corresponding religious literature from the Pharaonic period and demonstrates them as premises for alchemy. These texts “alchemize” the “body” of the temple, offering a model for the “alchemizing” of the self. ψ A.J. Arberry’s translation of Farid al-Din Attar’s Muslim Saints and Mystics: Episodes from the Tadhkirat al-Auliya contains a chapter on the Egyptian Sufi saint Dhul-Nun al-Misri (sometimes rendered as Dho‘l-Nun al-Mesri). He is regarded as an alchemist, thaumaturge, and master of Egyptian hieroglyphics. It contains apocryphal stories of his ascetic and mystic life as a way of “living demiurgically.” It is an insightful glimpse into how the Ancient Egyptian arts continued into new religious paradigms long after polytheism was no longer widespread in Egypt.

Further Reading

Contemporary Works Assmann, Jan. 1995. Egyptian Solar Religion in the New Kingdom: Re, Amun and the Crisis of Polytheism. Translated by Anthony Alcock. Kegan Paul International. Assmann, Jan. 2003. The Mind of Egypt: History and Meaning in the Time of the Pharaohs. Harvard University Press. Bull, Christian H. 2019. The Tradition of Hermes Trismegistus: The Egyptian Priestly Figure as a Teacher of Hellenized Wisdom. Brill. Chlup, Radek. 2012. Proclus: An Introduction. Cambridge University Press. Escolano-Poveda, Marina. 2008. The Egyptian Priests of the Graeco-Roman Period. Brill. Fowden, Garth. 1986. The Egyptian Hermes: A Historical Approach to the Late Pagan Mind. Cambridge University Press. Freke, Tim, and Peter Gandy. 2008. The Hermetica: The Lost Wisdom of the Pharaohs. Jeremy P. Tarcher/Penguin. Gadalla, Moustafa. 2001. Egyptian Divinities: The All Who Are The One. Tehuti Research Foundation. Grimes, Shannon. 2019. Becoming Gold: Zosimos of Panopolis and the Alchemical Arts in Roman Egypt. Princeton University Press. Jackson, Howard. 2017. “A New Proposal for the Origin of the Hermetic God Poimandres.” Aries: Journal for the Study of Western Esotericism 17 (2): 193-212. Kupperman, Jeffrey. 2014. Living Theurgy: A Course in Iamblichus’ Philosophy, Theology and Theurgy. Avalonia. Mierzwicki, Tony. 2011. Graeco-Egyptian Magick: Everyday Empowerment. Llewellyn Publications. Naydler, Jeremy. 1996. Temple of the Cosmos: The Ancient Egyptian Experience of the Sacred. Inner Traditions. Opsopaus, J. 2006. The Secret Texts of Hellenic Polytheism: A Practical Guide to the Restored Pagan Religion of George Gemistos Plethon. New York: Llewellyn Publications. Roberts, Alison M. 2019. Hathor’s Alchemy: The Ancient Egyptian Roots of the Hermetic Art. Northgate Publishers. Shaw, Gregory. 1995. Theurgy and the Soul: The Neoplatonism of Iamblichus. 2nd ed. Angelico Press. Snape, Steven. 2014. The Complete Cities of Ancient Egypt. Thames & Hudson. Uzdavinys, Algis. 1995. Philosophy and Theurgy in Late Antiquity. Wheaton, IL: Quest Books. Uzdavinys, Algis. 2008. Philosophy as a Rite of Rebirth: From Ancient Egypt to Neoplatonism. Lindisfarne Books. Wilkinson, Richard H. 2000. The Complete Temples of Ancient Egypt. Thames & Hudson.

Ancient Sources in Translation Attar, Farid al-Din. 1966. Muslim Saints and Mystics: Episodes from the Tadhkirat alAuliya. Translated by A.J. Arberry. London: Routledge & Kegan Paul. Betz, Hans Dieter. 1992. The Greek Magical Papyri in Translation, Including the Demotic Spells. Chicago: University of Chicago Press. Copenhaver, Brian P. 1995. Hermetica: The Greek Corpus Hermeticum and the Latin Asclepius in a New English Translation, with Notes and Introduction. Cambridge: Cambridge University Press. Guthrie, Kenneth. 1988. The Pythagorean Sourcebook and Library: An Anthology of Ancient Writings which Relate to Pythagoras and Pythagorean Philosophy. Grand Rapids, MI: Phanes Press. Iamblichus. 1988. The Theology of Arithmetic. Translated by Robin Waterfield. Grand Rapids, MI: Phanes Press. Iamblichus. 2003. Iamblichus: On the Mysteries. Translated by Clarke, E., Dillon, J. M., & Hershbell, J. P. Atlanta: Society of Biblical Literature. Iamblichus. 2008. The Life of Pythagoras (Abridged). Translated by Thomas Taylor. Whitefish, MT: Kessinger Publishing. Lichtheim, Miriam. 1973-1980. Ancient Egyptian Literature. Volumes I-III. Berkeley: University of California Press. Litwa, M. David. 2018. Hermetica II. Cambridge: Cambridge University Press. Majercik, Ruth. 1989. The Chaldean Oracles: Text, Translation, and Commentary. Leiden: Brill. Plato. 1997. Plato: Complete Works. Edited by John M. Cooper and D. S. Hutchinson. Indianapolis: Hackett Publishing. Plotinus. 1984-1988. The Enneads. Volumes 1-7. Translated by A.H. Armstrong. Cambridge, Massachusetts: Harvard University Press. Van der Horst, Pieter Willem. 1984. The Fragments of Chaeremon, Egyptian Priest and Stoic Philosopher. Leiden: E.J. Brill.

[counttwinkula]

@spicymangoman this is such a thought provoking question (re: my jeffrey jerome cohen's monster culture (seven theses) post)

i think the shortest answer is that the monster is polysemic; it is a sign with multiple simultaneous interpretations and meanings. ocean vuong writes that a monster is a "hybrid signal"; any contradictions it may hold are, in some way, part and parcel of being a monster.

the monster does often introduce category crisis regarding the difference between self and Other! this is an extremely common monstrous trope:

the hivemind is the most obvious example of a monster that blurs the boundary between self and Other

the blob also comes to mind, as an Other which quite literally threatens to incorporate the self into its body

through the same logic as the blob, we can see this same threat of the self being annihilated and incorporated into the Other through any monster that engages in cannibalism or consumption

(i'm currently researching The Haunting of Hill House and boy howdy is that theme present)

infectious monsters (vampires, zombies, werewolves) pose a similar threat, the Other whose influence may cause a loss of selfhood and subsequent incorporation into a noncontiguous monstrous body

frankenstein's monster and shapeshifters both challenge the stability of the self, or the self as a singular, knowable body, thereby posing a problem for the self/Other binary

we must also keep in mind that the Other represented by the monster is quite often a coded representation for the racialized, gendered, sexed, classed, etc. other. i think that here we find a general anxiety of category crisis with regard to "you look like me but you're not me" and the differences then being exaggerated through the monster's nonbinary and excessive body

so, while the creature from the black lagoon or guillermo del toro's amphibian man do not pose these same threats of losing the self to the monster, they still represent a sort of me/not-me problem through their anthropomorphism alone (while simultaneously standing in for the racialized, "savage" other)

cohen also writes that "one kind of alterity is often written as another", meaning that not only do the metaphors within the monster often overlap, but the monster often troubles multiple binaries at once. he gives the example of the cynocephalus, a human with a dog head and intersex characteristics, thereby sitting at the border of human and beast as well as the border of male and female

regarding category crisis, cohen writes that the monster "defies easy categorization" and continues:

This refusal to participate in the classificatory "order of things" is true of monsters generally: they are disturbing hybrids whose externally incoherent bodies resist attempts to include them in any systematic structuration. And so the monster is dangerous, a form suspended between forms that threatens to smash distinctions.

i would say that the monster's nonbinariness stems, in some ways, from the fear of the unknown, and more specifically the fear of the unknowable. by existing across binaries and disrupting systems of classification, the monster presents a challenge to defining it and knowing it

knowledge is typically the antithesis to fear. Alien and Child's Play both rely on the audience not catching full glimpses of the monster, utilizing a half-seen, in the shadows, out of the corner of your eye aesthetic to maximize fear. the first step to solving a monster of the week episode is mulder or giles defining the monster. the longer the monster challenges knowledge, the longer it remains a threat, a danger, and an object of horror

similarly, the fear of the Other is a fear of the unknown, because the body outside the self can never be wholly, comprehensively, reliably known. in my opinion, this is probably the source of that overlap in the metaphor: the monster embodies category crisis and the dread of difference due to their common roots in the fear of the unknown

[2screamingpears]

A not-complete list of wonderful changes, translation and localization I noticed when I went to see Book of Mormon in Madrid!

Hey! So I went to see The Book of Mormon last month in Madrid, and since I had watched (bootlegged) and listened to the original production, I was able to enjoy some changes they made so it could be enjoyed by spanish audiences!

First off, I should say that it wasn’t a replica production (and I think I much prefer this one!). The choreography was amazing, and definitely more elaborate than on broadway ! Here, have a look: https://youtu.be/NZ5UxjN2MPs?si=UErYQUODo5Qs-EMC

Some of the first changes I wondered how they were going to make was the opening number: both Hello and Hola have the same syllables but hola cannot be used, since the accent falls on the first syllable in hola and the second in hello….. so spanish mormons just end up saying how are you (¿qué tal?) 😂

Second change comes during the second number, two by two: one of the jokes is weirdly untranslatable, which is the addendum at the end of the phrase “we are the soldiers of the church of jesus christ (of latter day saints)”. Since in spanish “of la-tter day saints” (5 syllables) would be “de los úl-ti-mos dí-as” (7 syllables), they changed it to “yo-soy-mor-món” (i am a mormon) which fits! There is a joke lost, but mormonism isn’t as widespread as it is on the US, so it’s hardly noticeable.

This one is mostly to update the content, but during two by two when the trip to japan gets announced, the mormons are excited about soy sauce and godzilla (instead of mothra)

Next comes a change i also wondered about: how do you make a joke out of Elder Price’s wish to go to Orlando, of all things? In the English version, Elder Price would like to go to orlando because of Sea World, Disney and putt-putt golfing: spaniards have no cultural knowledge of what Orlando is, so the translated line is “Orlando! Disney me espera, soy fan de Frozen” (Orlando! Disney is waiting for me, I’m a Frozen fan) which really drives home the ridiculousness of choosing that place as your mission trip. Also, if you watch the video i linked, the joke is super amplified through choreography, which is part of why i love this production so much.

Hasa diga eebowai gets one change Very right: instead of saying fuck you god, they say “me cago en dios” (i shit on god) which is a very common way of cursing about things in spain: you can shit on the milk (me cago en la leche), on your mother (me cago en tu madre) and indeed, you can shit on god!

One fun localization comes in at the end of All-American prophet, a song that’s basically a sales pitch or infomercial : the fun little gag at the end where Elder Cunningham says “if you order now, we’ll also throw a seat of steak knives” gets changed to “if you order now, we’ll throw in a thermomix for free” For people who don’t know, a thermomix is The Product everyone gets from infomercials/ through independent sellers: it’s a chopper/blender/cooker/scale/kitchen robot, very convenient! My mother has one :) one of the ugandan ladies asks Cunningham about the thermomix inmediatly after finishing the number and he excitedly begins explaining the whole shtick every middle aged spanish lady has heard before, that got a big laugh :)

In the sequence before spooky mormon hell dream, when Elder Price’s so happy that he finally reaches Orlando, he throws in another elsa joke, saying that he’s blonde like her, so thats why she likes her😂

During Spooky mormon hell dream, one change that got Such a big laugh was seeing the four people that are in hell according to Elder Price: Genghis Khan, Hitler, Jeffrey Dahmer and, instead of Jonnie Cochran (idk even who he is) we got Silvio Berlusconi, politician and founder of communications company Mediaset, which runs a thrash tv channel called Telecinco (and that’s what he’s in hell for, according to the song)

The thing elder cunningham always says “tomorrow’s a latter day” gets changed to a saying a lot of catholic old people say, “mañana dios dirá” which both fits in the metric and localizes it, since mormonism isn’t that well known.

And that’s it! It was such a wonderful performance, and a testament to the beauty of translation: even if i know I understand English fairly well, seeing the jokes on my native language made everything 100x times funnier! Strongly recommend!

[autisticandroids]

been listening to you're wrong about and like. okay @barren-and-trivial-words said once that on hannibal, serial killing is fundamentally considered a type of artistic pursuit. and they were right, obviously they were right. that's the basic structure almost, of the series. my favorite example is the eye sculpture serial killer where hannibal is literally like. we are situated in his gaze and he is evaluating the sculpture on artistic merit. but overall hannibal is a tv show about aestheticism and the inherent amorality of aestheticism - it is of course immoral to kill, but it is also often beautiful to kill, and shouldn't beauty outweigh morals sometimes?

and the thing is, media is... a good place to make this point. obviously because making a point is going to be in media, but the nature of hannibal as a tv show for consumption means that aesthetics will always trump morals. because the people on the show aren't real, but the beauty is, beauty does by default outweigh morals.

so hannibal kind of becomes this fascinating metatextual text on the nature of stories, or, you know, it can be read that way. because it is in the nature of all stories for beauty to outweigh morals.

but it's also a comment on the nature of serial killers as a concept. i want to link the two episodes of you're wrong about that got me thinking about this - both of these episodes are about the symbiotic relationships serial killers have with media. with fiction but even more especially with news and non-fiction. serial killers sell papers, and in fact the figure of the serial killer is kind of invented to sell papers - in one of these episodes, sarah marshall reads off a letter sent to a london paper "from" jack the ripper that was probably actually forged by a journalist to heat up the news cycle. it's very cinematic, it reads as absolutely cliche to the modern ear and maybe to the victorian one as well, but i'm sure it made the paper that printed it a lot of money.

and one of the things that i already kind of knew but was reinforced in these episodes is that most of the common knowledge that the public has about "serial killers" both in general and in specific cases is just... wrong. and that's for a lot of reasons. some of it is definitely because it's convenient for the police to have access to the figure of the mastermind serial killer for all sorts of reasons, especially to cover their own incompetence or to just pawn off unsolved cases. but also it's because the media needs sensation to sell papers, and so lurid stories of superhuman killers are just a lot tastier than some guy who murdered three women for obvious, petty reasons and also molested his stepdaughters. the public demands uniqueness, spectacle, extremity. it's not enough to bleed if you want to lead, stories have to bleed spectacularly. so the modern concept of the serial killer was built almost entirely on the back of newspapers, true crime paperbacks, and silence-of-the-lambs-alike feature films. it's not like. a real thing. it's a product of the spin factory, re-working reality into something marketable.

and hannibal lecter - the original, fava beans and a nice chianti hannibal lecter - is perhaps the height of this cultural concept, the star of the serial killer... craze? moral panic? i suppose the word is phenomenon. so it's interesting to read bryan fuller's hannibal as a kind of indulgent commentary on the existence of the newspaper-literary "serial killer" figure.

[i would also recommend ywa's episodes on ed gein, jeffrey dahmer, and the dc snipers for more perspectives on serial killers. while i'm at it you should also listen to their episodes on gangs, human trafficking, sex offenders, the satanic panic, stranger danger, and true crime, but i realize i'm kinda pushing it.]

[dispatchwithlove]

I absolutely adore your ideas for turian culture. The shawls, the interesting word choices correlating with Roman/Latin words (like zuccha, amar, saccha). My absolute favorite thing though is the ties they have with the sky and stars. Garrus' curses (empty night, blackest night) especially are some of my favorite little elements in the universe you write for them. Where did you come up with these awesome ideas? I'm just so invested in the culture you created for my favorite space cats!

Hello Anon! Sorry this took so long to answer, I got absolutely giddy when I read it!

Well the whole Latin thing is taken both from canon (they're based on the Roman empire) and fanon. I know others have used Latin words and Roman culture to develop turian culture, and I liked it so I ran with it. A lot of the words I made up are bastardized latin words, lol. Saccha, mela, and zuccarum (zucca for short) are taken from the Latin words for sugar, honey, and ... sugar again, I think, lol. Crulum is taken from cookie. I kind of just look up the latin words for things and throw some letters around until I'm happy with the mouth feel of it. Other words I just plain make up, like lambas, which is a dish Val makes for the family. I want all turian words to sound like a rich, rolling, rumbly language as much as possible. For Avinelin, a Garrus/Nihlus one shot, I wanted the turian language Nihlus teaches Garrus to sound more like Spanish, because I think it's an incredibly sexy language. Basically, I want turians to sound hot I guess! I think a lot of people like to write turians as cold and ultra-militaristic, and go as far as to say they don't show physical affection easily (which is a valid take that I fully support!). But, I like to show the opposite of that -- that yes their culture is regimented and bureaucratic, but there's still warmth within them. Maybe expressing that warmth within them is even more important, considering their strict social guidelines.

I think that's also why I like to explore the importance of celestial themes with them as well. It shows that they once were religious, just like many species, and that shaped their language and how they cope with life. I know others play with curses being star based as well, so I didn't invent that, I just have fun playing with it. I will say that so far my favorite bit of star theme that I've come up with though, is Garrus seeing Jane's freckles as stars in a night sky, and that when he was a boy he'd look up at the night sky for comfort and solace. I don't get gushy over things I write often, but that moment in The Quarian where he makes that connection gets me! And I will absolutely be playing with that as Garrus and Jane reveal their feelings and explore their relationship in The Boy. One day he'll tell Jane that her freckles are like stars and she'll just melt 🥺 (I've already written the scene 😁)

OH, and the shawls...in the sequel to The Boy (working title is The Missing -- I hate my titles btw, but I feel stuck to the theme now, lol) There's going to be a murder based on the Jeffrey McDonald murders (a military doctor accused "hippies" of killing his family) and I wanted turians to have some sort of cultural appearance that xenophobic humans judged, but was based on something loving, so I thought maybe turians wear shawls while they marry, then i daydreamed about Jane wearing a shawl when her and Garrus get married, then when I was writing about a winter turian holiday (Anivia Vocan) I thought it would be cool if turians wear shawls for all important occasions. Boom, turians have special shawls. Okay, I feel like I've blabbered on enough. Bless anyone who read through this all. TLDR is that I have no plan and don't even keep track of the stuff I write. It all just bubbles up while I'm daydreaming about Jane and Garrus and I include what I remember.

Thanks for asking! Hope this was fun to read. If it was, I'm always down to answer any questions about my stories or world building! ❤️

[greenishghostey]

Hellfire Club Members Headcanons

Note: Okay so, I wrote in the tags of reblogging this photo that I made up names and backgrounds for everyone here, and @manicpixiedreamcurl and @lunatictardis, the gems that they are, encouraged me to post what I came up with so here it is!!!

Further Note: This post is about to be quite long and I'm only a little bit sorry because I'm far too proud of these. Also, the order of them is across the photo from left to right but I have provided descriptions so you know who is who!

Guy with the bandana around his head:

Name: Ethan (headcanon name)

General background: Ethan was Eddie’s right-hand man since Hellfire’s inception since they were in the same grade. You would never see one without the other. Ethan graduated in the class of ‘84 and decided to pack up his car to travel the west coast. He didn’t know what he wanted to do with his life, but he knew he needed out of Hawkins. Ethan sent Eddie postcards while he was travelling until he eventually settled down working at a record store in Reno. 

Ethan is similar to Eddie, and that’s one of the main reasons they get along so well. However, he’s a bit more subdued. He was never a big fan of drawing too much attention to himself but damn could the guy fight. Ethan was the original brawn of Hellfire, while Eddie was the brains. 

Most recent Hellfire Character: Ethan’s character is a sheltered Wood Elf princess named Thia. He wanted to try his hand at playing a character that was so different to him in every way. She is travelling to learn more about the world outside of her small kingdom and to prove herself as an able ruler when the time comes. Thia is a chaotic good Ranger with a particular skill for animal handling and languages. 

Note: Ethan is mentioned a bit in my fic series, Dungeon Master meet Prop Master, have a read if you would like!

///

Jeff:

Name: Jeff Fulton (headcanon surname)

General background: Jeff joined Hellfire in his sophomore year of high school after deciding to embrace his interests. He was bullied in middle school quite a bit because he liked D&D and was really into Drama/History. 

Jeff is a fairly quiet guy outside of Hellfire, where he is comfortable. Officially, he is the vice president of the Hellfire Club because they had to put together a club committee so they could use the drama room. As seen in the show, Jeff is not one for starting a fight but he will get involved if necessary. He plans to attend Indiana State to study European History when he graduates. 

Most recent Hellfire Character: Jeff’s character is a travelling, well-cultured Dwarf named Jeffrey of Birchthane. He is a neutral-good Druid and belongs to the Birchthane grove which is nestled between the Irongut mountain range. Jeffrey is very bad with animals. However, he has a strong affinity with deep forest areas and mountain ranges. 

///

Gareth:

Name: Gareth Campbell (headcanon surname)

General background: Gareth is the youngest member of Hellfire before Dustin and Mike join. He originally worshipped Eddie and Ethan and loved that he was friends with the cool older kids. Gareth is quite snarky and has a hard time holding his tongue on occasion. He’s gotten himself into a few fights over being dubbed one of the “freak’s disciples”. Gareth is very protective of Hellfire since it’s where he felt safe and comfortable when he got to high school. He used to be a quiet kid because he thought he was weird, but now he will always stand up for himself and others.

Gareth is really into physics and math. He’s always had a fascination with space and plans to apply to study Astrophysics somewhere on the east coast after high school. Gareth is the club treasurer even though they get zero school funding; he is in charge of making sure people get paid back for buying snacks and drinks to sessions. 

Most recent Hellfire Character: Gareth’s character is, as we know, named Gareth The Great. He is a lawful good, human paladin, who was originally a knight for the empire’s royal family. He has quite the stick up his ass, but he means well. His weapon of choice is a longsword and his charisma is shockingly low.

///

Unnamed Hellfire member from ST4:

Name: Simon “Si” Walker (headcanon name)

General background: Simon and Jeff are the same age and both on track to graduate in the class of ‘86. Simon is the quietest of the current Hellfire guys, not for any particular reason, he just enjoys keeping to himself. He’s a naturally gifted writer but is a little embarrassed to move on to being a storyteller. Simon and Eddie often share their work with each other. The two have similar taste in books and became friends when Eddie saw Simon reading ‘The Black Cauldron’ by Lloyd Alexander. Simon can read and write Tengwar, the script used in Tolkien’s fictional languages.

Simon wants to study English at college after he graduates but worries about leaving Hawkins. He also thinks his writing, both fiction and non-fiction, isn’t good enough to be taken seriously. Within Hellfire, Simon is the secretary, which he actually enjoys because he gets a title and doesn’t ever have to take meeting minutes. 

Most recent Hellfire Character: Simon’s character is named Rothgar Baljor. He is a lawful good, half-elf cleric who has devoted his existence to the immortal Sun Goddess, Sol Ola. Rothgar is quite the character since he’s still young and is on a journey of discovery for his church. He is naive but arrogant since the sun continues to shine on him - when it does that for everybody. He is a skilled healer but is not well trained in combat, both close and ranged.

///

Brunette guy in the denim vest:

Name: Nicholas, “Nick” (headcanon name)

General background: Nick is Eddie’s counterpart in terms of music - Nick really likes punk music, specifically British punk music. He looks up to Eddie quite a lot in terms of his beliefs; anti-establishment, anti-conformity, that sort of stuff. Nick has a hard time keeping his mouth shut, but he is also very friendly. He is aware that he looks a little scary and can come across as mean. 

Nick graduated in the class of ‘85 and moved to Indianapolis to try and make a name for himself as a punk singer. It went quite well and now he is part of a small punk group that tours various bars across the surrounding states. He hopes they can make it the New York City one day - Eddie said he was definitely good enough.

Most recent Hellfire Character: Nick’s character was a cunning, irresistible human named Nikolai. He is a chaotic good rogue who was inspired by Robin Hood - steals from the rich, and gives to the poor. His choice of weapons is two daggers that he was gifted by his beloved mentor. Nikolai has had charisma and dexterity for days but very little wisdom, sadly. 

///

Girl in the acid wash jeans

Name: Abigail, “Abby” or “Abs” (headcanon name)

General background: Abby was, and still is, the first girl to have been a member of Hellfire - she really prided herself on this fact. She was in the same grade as Nick and they got really cool graduation photos together with the entire club. Abby was a big chemistry nerd and went into Chemical Engineering at Indiana State when she graduated. Her passion for D&D started in middle school and she was hooked from her first one-shot session. Abby could become absolutely anyone she could think of, and damn right she was gonna be someone cool.

Abby was a talented storyteller and had the opportunity to run a handful of one shots with the club - Eddie trusted her to make some good material and keep everyone in line. She wrote some of the most twisted and captivating Halloween sessions and each of the guys had nightmares for days. Abby gave Eddie regular updates about the college D&D club she founded - he was super proud of her for keeping the Hellfire spirit going.

Most recent Hellfire Character: Abby’s character was named Bell Silverstring. She was a chaotic good, halfling fighter who was a warrior-for-hire around her home city. Bell was quite hot-headed and energetic, but she also got everyone hyped up and ready for a battle. Bell was a master with a short sword and was, arguably, the strongest character to ever grace Hellfire because of how well-built she was.

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Name: Gordon “Gordo” or "Gordie" (headcanon name)

General background: Gordon was in the same grade as Eddie and Ethan. He joined Hellfire in his junior year after realising that his classmates weren’t all that scary. Gordon had a hard time in high school, so Hellfire really gave him a sense of belonging. He was part of the AV club before joining Hellfire and still is an absolute whiz with tech. He helped and taught Eddie how to repair audio equipment when his guitar pedals broke. After high school, Gordon moved to Chicago to study Audiovisual engineering at college. 

Gordon was also a really good bass player, having started playing when he started middle school. He tried out for Corroded Coffin once but felt that his style of playing wasn’t suited to metal - he was a fan of jazz/blues bass. This is why he was so good at fixing musical equipment and was the unofficial part-time roady for Corroded Coffin. But only on the Tuesdays when he had access to his dad’s car. 

Most recent Hellfire Character: Gordon’s character was named Goren Erfina. He was a neutral good, high elf bard who mainly worked as a wedding musician in his home city and the surrounding areas. As a high elf, Goren is viewed as a bit of a disappointment to his family since he has such a commoner career, but he just adores music so much and needs to share his with the world. Goren’s beloved flute and his comrades are all he needs on his travels. Also, he is oddly wise beyond his years, which is helpful in the group since they need some wisdom.

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[roxannepolice]

Ooh, I've been thinking about Mozart lately! I'd love to hear your thoughts/feelings on him if you have anything you'd like to talk about 💜

I mean, talking about music is supposedly like dancing about architecture, and I'm no Nijinsky... and I should clarify that my thesis was specifically about Milos Forman's biopics, i.e. Amadeus and Goya's ghosts... so I guess the good part is that a "fictionalized" Mozart is arguably more appropriate to blorboify 😅

And the truth is I absolutely love Mozart's music, largely thanks to Forman's film. I think it managed to convey the pure genius spot on, not just in showing baby Wolfgang playing flawlessly with his eyes covered or exclamations of how there are no corrections on his sheets (which... I've been to Mizart museum in Vienna. It's freaking true. That guys really wasjust transcribing what was already in his head), but perhaps most in one of my favourite scenes in cinema history, that is Mozart vamping up Salieri's march:

Just... the moment a... Decent. Good. Better by a mile than what most people will write in their lifetime! piece of music turns into something so purely brilliant that hits something going beyond conscious mind, or culture or history, and just... touches the moment beauty crosses the line of aesthetic and becomes a value in its own right???? AND ALL THAT FROM LISTENING ONCE TO A VERY POOR PERFORMANCE (honestly, tons of ink were spilled for F. Murray Abraham and Tom Hulce, and justly so, but shoutout to Jeffrey Jones for the performance that in one of my better choices of words I described as "majestically unaware of his own mediocrity")???!!!! This explains what pure genius is in a way that no cognitivistics ever could!

(This was one of my major statements in the thesis, btw. One of the biggest questions regarding biopics if you can bend historical facts for a story. And I get how that's a problem, but can you convey the pure genius basing on something that isn't already genius? Because the two "improvised" pieces in Amadeus are both in fact music already written by Mozart, with the "march" being the aria Non piu andrai and the "Bach-like" melody in the party/fart scene is Vivat Bacchus. If you already have a contrast between, again. Decent. Good. and GENIUS, should you really avoid an analysis of what's the difference? Incidentally, neither Shaffer nor Forman say Salieri did in fact murder Mozart)

I think if anyone's looking for someone who did have a Nijinsky skill in writing about Mozart, I really recommend Norbert Elias's Mozart: sociology of a genius. He formulates a sort of sociological look on how genius comes to be. Not so much in a "oh, it's actually all about habitus and people maintaining concepts of beauty to serve their own purposes" or "how to raise a genius" (incidentally, if you're looking for "how NOT to raise a kid" look no further than Leopold Mozart), but really digging into "not denying some unique gift, what social circumstances allow this gift to bloom?"

I just think Mozart's music is the epitome of joyfulness that's profound. It grasps the essential unseriousness of life while keeping its importance to each individual. Makes the everyday into an ideal, without stripping or objectifying anything. It gives a sense of connection that remains thoroughly introspective. It's mathematically perfect while quintessentially human. It is, indeed, how God hears the world.

[hewholivesinhisname]

Most people just like to shit on men for fun and profit. They like to shit on god for fun and profit. Then they trash the world. But also more importantly in a spiritual way in that they are constantly, fucking constantly poisoning the social environment making it impossible to get anything positive done,

Create middle class families, especially white middle class families. And shit on the poor. And shit on the Jews of course with palestine.

They learn it early in school

School is a masonic project. to teach children the values learned in "the enlightenment" (the Echthroi's values) vs. the values of god. Get families broken up and kids away from their moms.

But who am I kidding?

Is anyone fucking listening?

I guess this is the price of existence.

I think about Jeffrey's existence. What he's there for, and I guess, really he's there to destroy reality. Like Kefka or the Nothing. And everyone is behind him of course.....because like the Morque, they want POWER. they even say if for these dead "martyrs" "rest in power"

I think he's going to win.

I can already feel it in myself. I hate this existence. Working so hard in school. Having my friends and family turn on me. Being bullied. Watching as their are even worse predators all around me, especially in power. Watching people actually still follow and listen to these monsters.

My mother was raped by her father and her mother never left him, however when my father lost his job...she left him. That fact always haunts me because it shows just how much women care morea bout societal acceptance than protecting their children. And I'm a poor man, so clearly I have nothing to offer.

So, thanks to people's faithfulness to the system we'll have prison hells. We'll have horror show after horror show. Economic inequality, revolutions, wars, crime, simulations of reality, hells. We don't have marriage but we have free pornography. Then some religious person points out maybe that they shouldn't do that and...the religions are fucked up too. However, they are less fucked up than the wider culture. But, blame god. that will solve all your addiction problems.

Don't blame all the rich people who sold you the addictive products. Don't blame the constant immorality. Make sure to keep hurting people, especially men. The kids bully each other, the men won't or can't protect the children. The women use all their social power to take jobs from the men and use shitty socially aggressive tactics to fuck over the men. Then they lust over the rich men who make money by degrading the general population. And their's predators on top of them and so on and so forth.

Jeffrey's good man. Not a good man, but he's good at being evil. Pushing the world towards pain and suffering. Then people will naturally not want to exist like I do now. He knows exactly what to do to make it seem like he's the good guy. After extended torture and psychological manipulation, I'm sure I'll fall for it too. That's the point of Darkmatter's videos which are very hostile to god, but informative. He might be hostile in some ways, but he's truthful. that's important.

He's one of the only people who is nice to me though and honestly I don't know why. I don't know why. Or, I do. He is playing some long game. The only real friend I have

They all want something. Money, cigarettes, women, to have their fragile egoes validated, POWER. to get in groups and do gang violence then call it something nice like democracy. They sometimes try to make it up by going to church maybe.

Created beings are hateful inferior creatures.

I am beginning to learn to hate people.