#because god knows neither I nor anyone my age that I speak to would know what the fuck we'd do with ourselves in political office

[hollenka99]

I think it would be very funny if Roger ap Gwilliam was born when Ruby unleashed him. I don't think it's said which year specifically they land in but since Ruby could pay on her phone, I'm going to put it in the past 5 years if it's not 2024.

So you have this man in his early-to-mid 20s, saying shit about wanting nuclear control, and somehow he wins. He probably has much older opponents who are either middle aged like Ruby or older, something that theoretically indicates wisdom and sense, while this fresh faced Welshman acts like a living John Mulaney 'eggs and bottle rockets' sketch.

First Prime Minister to be appointed in his 20s in over 250 years (only other person in our history actually because Pitt the Younger is currently the only 20-something PM) and may even beat that record if he was born in 2023 or 2024. Possibly the last PM too if his plan went ahead.

All because people saw him and said "Sure, let's give this young man his bombs despite the fact he left school only a few years ago."

[lena-in-a-red-dress]

Musician Age Gap AU Pt 11

As soon as Alex and her family are safely in a car on the way to a hotel, Kara and Lena board Lena's jet back to the states. During the flight, Lena curls in on herself, picking nervously at her cuticles with a worried, guilty expression.

"Hey," Kara says, pulling Lena's gaze towards her. Her features remain heavy. "I'm not mad."

At that, Lena's face softens, but only enough to grimace with a soft huff. "You're not the one I'm worried about."

Kara must look confused, because Lena soon continues.

"As a rule, my mother knows who I spend my time with, and when." The guilt returns. "Except for you."

"So she didn't know I was in Capri with you..."

Lena confirms it with a shake of her head. "Nor why I went back to National City."

Well... this wouldn't be easy then. Dealing with a rabid press is one thing-- being at odds with one of the key players in keeping her family safe is another.

"I'm sorry," Lena murmurs. "I just... wanted to keep you mine. Just for a little while."

Kara shoots her a look. "I'm still not mad."

"You can be. If you want."

"I don't." She moves seats, switching to the bench Lena's on. She makes no attempt to still Lena's nervous picking, but simply spreads her legs enough for the outsides of their thighs to touch. Kara intends the physical contact to serve as reassurance, but she doesn't know if it works.

"I'm a big girl, Lena. I know I can back out whenever I want to. But I don't. Not yet."

A little bit of warmth cuts through Lena's anxious fog. "Yeah?"

"Yeah." Kara's heart beats a little faster, when a small smile answers her. Impulsively, she leans over to kiss Lena's cheek. She feels... giddy? Far more exhilirated she has any right to feel at her age. "Bring it."

----

Lillian Luthor is a slender, austere woman. Kara clocks her the moment the plane lands on the tarmac, tall and styled in her designer clothes and looks that only money and astronomically good genes could provide.

Only Kara witnesses the short beat Lena takes before stepping out of the plane, bracing herself for whatever follows. Kara keeps pace with her once they descend the ladder in single file. She may not be driving this bus, but she is no shrinking flower. In this, she is Lena's equal.

Not that the look Lillian gives her would have anyone believe.

"In the car," the woman orders. "Now."

Lena obeys without a word. Kara is a little slower to fall in line, but ultimately follows Lena's lead. Lillian climbs in behind them, leaving Jess and a woman Kara doesn't recognize to scramble on board last.

"The family is checked into the Lariat. So far no indication that they've been identified, but its still early."

"What about Kara?"

"What about you??" Lillian demands, tone scathing in its heat. "What were you thinking?"

Kara sees Lena wilt, and anger bubbles up in her throat. "Don't talk to her like that--"

"You have zero business here," Lillian fires back with steel in her voice.

"Mom!" Lena exclaims in Kara's defense. "It's not that big a deal--"

Ice blue eyes turn on Lena, freezing her to the spot. "It's a big enough deal that you saw fit to sneak behind my back, with a woman twice your age no less--"

"Mom!"

"Timeline, now."

Lena's shoulders sag, but says nothing. Looking to divert some of Lillian's ire, Kara moves to speak up. "We--"

"She already knows," Lena rolls her eyes.

"I do," her mother confirms. "But I'll hear it from you nonetheless."

Lena huffs. "Night two of the National City stop. Her niece left her phone backstage, and we exhanged numbers."

"Then?"

"Texting."

The exhange sounds like a repeat of one they've had many times before. Neither Jess nor the other woman-- who Kara assumes is Lillian's own assistant-- look at all nervous at the rapidfire crossing of words.

"Texting?" Lillian demands. "Or sexting?"

Kara bristles. "I don't see how that's any of your--"

"*Texting*, Mom, god!" Lena seethes. Her cheeks are bright red, from anger or embarassment or both. "Will you just--"

"Just *what* Lena?"

Lillian's voice is so sharp Kara can see the moment it cuts Lena down. Her jaw tightens, and when Kara sublty shifts to take her hand, Lena shifts away.

Satisfied that her daughter is suitably in line, Lillian turns to her assistant. "Mercy, have PR prepare a statement. The photos were misconstrued, they simply capture a couple of friends taking in the sights."

"Mom, no," Lena croaks. "I don't want-- who cares if people know that I'm gay--?"

"You are not gay!"

Lena flinches, features blanching as though Lillian had landed a physical blow. Only then does Lillian seem to realize that she's talking to an actual person. Her tone doesn't soften, exactly, but it doesn't sharpen any further.

"Your *brand* isn't," she amends, likely the closest thing to thing to an apology Lena would get.

"I thought Lena is the brand," Kara interjects.

Lillian's frigid gaze snaps to her. "She is."

"Her fans are more open-minded than you think--"

"Her fans don't buy tickets," Lillian informs her coolly. "Their parents do. And *they* are far less forgiving."

Kara looks towards Lena, who meets her gaze with a helpless one of her own. It's not untrue-- Esme hadn't bought her tickets, after all.

"Then what do we do?" Kara allows finally.

"Cut ties. Immediately." Lillian looks down her nose at Kara, her regard as condescending as though she were speaking to a teenager, not a women merely ten years her junior.

"No."

To Kara's surprise, Lena's response is faster than her own, and carries only the barest of trembles.

"Don't be foolish..."

"I'm not--"

"Do you love her?"

Lena freezes. Her gaze flicks to Kara. "It's only been a few weeks..."

"Precisely. Cut ties now, before--"

"But I want to," Lena finishes. This time, her gaze lingers on Kara's, a small smile warming her eyes. "I want to love her."

Lillian scoffs low in her throat. "You're too old to be play the love sick teenager. Or have you forgotten what happened last time?"

Kara watches Lena hold her mother's gaze, something heavy passing between them, inscrutable to anyone else. But Lena holds her ground, and surprisingly, Lillian is the one to back down.

"Then what would you suggest?"

"Like you said-- we give them something else to talk about." Lena swallows, but forges ahead. "I have some new material, I can perform it live in Paris."

Lillian purses her lips, but doesn't smack down the idea. She considers it, her gaze calculating. "And you two?"

"We do what we want," Lena delivers firmly. "No statement, no confirmation or denial. Let people see interpret it however they want. However they need."

Kara thinks of the young fans, isolated in their orientations or identities, seeing themselves reflected in their favorite artist. The gift that would be, the vote of confidence needed to dream of a future where what Lena and Kara share might be theirs.

Lillian shoots Kara a hard glare. "And you? It's your family in the crossfire if this idea goes to shit."

"Then it goes to shit, and we deal with it."

It might be selfish of her, but in all of their conversations, neither Alex or Kelly have suggested backing off. They spoke only of adapting, of overcoming, and Kara knows she has their unspoken support. And even now, being talked down to and chided, she feels happier sitting next to Lena in this moment than she has in years.

Lillian barely contains her snort of derision.

"Very well," she concedes, with a sharp note of criticism. Then she turns from them entirely to speak with Mercy in low tones.

Kara takes advantage of the moment to lean closer to Lena, murmuring in her ear.

"I want to go to Paris with you."

Lena blinks at her. "You don't have to--"

"Would you feel better if I were there?" Kara asks bluntly. Lena deflates a little, but this time in relief rather than shame.

"Yeah."

"Then let me come." Kara gives Lena's hand a squeeze, and is rewarded with a tired smile. "You're not alone in this."

"Okay," Lena says, her smile deepening into a challenge. "Let's bring it."

[box4brains]

On Law, Lies and Love

Hi! I will once again be (gushing) talking about Trafalgar Law.

Setting some ground lines; I am a manga reader, and as the anime is based on the manga, I consider manga canon, with everything else being in different levels of canon-ified fannon. (ie, if something happens in the anime that isn’t in the manga, like a filler or a movie, I view it as “friendly suggestion” rather than canon). That being said, I do enjoy watching the anime reactions on yt, so I will be taking things that I noticed in the anime into this… “character study” (for lack of a better word). A fair warning; I’m Swedish, so English isn’t my first language (so apologies if I use words wrong). I don’t speak Japanese either, I do know some stuff, but again, apologies if I misunderstand anything here.

Deep dive into Laws psyche after the cut;

Let’s dive deeper into how I view Laws character/personality in the manga/show. Specifically towards the topic of “love” and “lies”, who I think has an extremely complex (if not convoluted) relationship with.

Let’s go into something that might be a bit of an HC for me, it’s based on little hints throughout the series, so I don’t begrudge anyone that would disagree… and that is; that Law is, in fact, incredibly gullible. It’s only the fact that life basically kicked him in the face- twice- before the age of 14 that has him extremely suspicious and distrustful about anything and everything he hears.

And the fact I bring this up is because it all ties back into the discussion about love and lies.

So Law was born into an environment that not only looked magical and beautiful, but where (I believe) he grew up into something as close to an utopia I feel anything could be in the world of One Piece. There was no classism, no racism (though I think that might be because I doubt that there was much diversity in Flevance), health care was free, jobs and education plentiful and nothing to complicate someone’s desire to chase either of them. Religion was a cornerstone of their way of life (viewing their ways of life as a blessing from God).

In every way imaginable, a tightly knit community viewing their compassion and love for each other as perhaps a greater source of pride than the metal that had made their country so wealthy in the first place.

That’s how Law grows up. And due to his gullible nature, he takes it all in. People are fundamentally good and kind, because of course they are, that’s what he’s been told. It’s one of the fundamental truths of the universe as far as Law’s concerned. It’s the privilege of a human being to be kind and humble, to help others in need isn’t a virtue, it’s something fundamental that makes people people. It’s a blessing and gift from God, to be able to help and be there for others.

So Law, as a small child, takes all he’s taught and for many, many years, questions nothing and takes all his little responsibilities with the outmost seriousness.

He brings home hurt animals (and sometimes people), when Lami is born he decides that he too wants to be a doctor, just like his parents. His parents that he loves and cherish more than anything else in the world, Lami quickly rising to a close second, though Law thinks she’s in a special category, one just for her. (His parents laugh and explain what he’s feeling and his role as an older brother, Law swears then and there that he’s going to protect Lami no matter what.)

Time flies, and one day an mysterious disease starts rearing its ugly head. Law is confused, and slowly getting more and more scared as the numbers grows. One day a border wall is built around the country. He watches as the navy comes to take the royal family away and at first he’s confused, he thinks that maybe they left to get help, but they never come back, neither the royal family nor the navy. No help comes from the world at all. In fact, it’s the opposite. The borders are completely closed, no one can get out, no food or aid is getting in either.

Law worries, but his parents tell him to have faith, they are fighting to find a cure… surely once they find the cause, the cure won’t be far behind, and this whole nightmare will be a thing of the past. Law believes them, because he knows that they would never lie to him or hurt him.

Well, they eventually find the cause of the outbreak. It’s the very thing that made them rich and allowed Flevance to become known throughout the world as “the pride of the North”. They don’t understand, the metal was supposed to be safe to mine, all attempts to get help from the outside world is met with cold and damning silence. They’ve more or less abandoned Law to take care of himself and Lami, all their efforts and energy is poured into trying to find something, some way, to save the people afflicted, to save their children’s lives.

Law puts his whole faith into his family, into the God he was raised to worship, he doesn’t know why they are afflicted the way they are, but he refuses to disbelieve either God or his parents. They are his corner stones in life. They will pull through.

He spends most of his time repeating this to himself, to Lami, and he works hard doing anything and everything he can to try and help his sister.

He’s not a doctor (not yet, he tells himself) but he knows how important hope and belief is to a patient. So he tells Lami what she needs to hear to keep her spirit up, even if he has to lie to do so. He’s certain that any negative impact the lies will cause will be worth it as long as Lami recovers. He prays everyday for God to show mercy on them and help them in their need.

Law stays by his sister’s side nearly every waking moment. He will sometimes sneak out to meet the Sister of the church when Lami is asleep in the hopes that the prayers in the church will reach God better, or to ask for guidance and advice (Law doesn’t go to his parents, he’s terrified he’ll distract them from finding a cure).

Otherwise his days consist of sitting by his sisters side, holding her hand and giving her whatever help or assistance that he can offer to alleviate her suffering. Sometimes when it’s really bad (or more often after all the painkillers and other medications that helped with the pain had run out) he’d crawl into bed with her and gently cradle her little body as he’d sing softly to her.

While all this is happening, Law is afraid, he is terrified, but he can’t show it, he needs to be strong for Lami and he doesn’t dare ad to his parents woes by letting fear tear him down. No, he has to be strong, he can’t let the fact that he’s just a scared little child cause his parents to falter in their desperate search for the cure. If he breaks, they will worry, even more than they already do, and then who will care for Lami? Law is positive that his parents only have the power to devote themselves to the research as they do because they believe that Law and Lami will be okay with each other. But if Law can’t stay strong, how can he care for Lami and keep her strong? How can he keep his parents strong and confident that the only thing they need to focus on is curing the disease if they have to worry about their children or split their efforts between research and caring for Law and Lami?

No, Law would rather his soul be damned for all eternity than risk being the reason his parents don’t find the cure in time (because there is a cure, Law is certain, his parents told him not to worry, and therefore there’s a cure, Law knows)

It’s only when night falls and Lami sleeps and Law is alone and desperately trying to keep the fear he feels clawing at his chest by praying or checking on his parents. If they are busy he usually sneaks out to talk to the Sister in their church. He often confesses to her about the fear that threatens to make him crumble and she always listens to him with the same kind, understanding smile she always has, before reminding him that god sees, god hears, and god cares. She praise Law for his goodness and caring heart, and that god will reward him and give him the strength he needs to overcome this ordeal, all he needs to do is believe and ask.

Law always leaves the church feeling better, like something inside him has strengthened, and he carries his head high in hope and belief in god, in the Sister, and in his parents. Determined to not let something as silly as fear cause him to doubt everything he knows and loves.

But on the nights when Lami isn’t the only one who is sleeping, Law usually tries to tuck in the exhausted bodies of his parents. He tries to shuffle the papers into neat little piles so that it’s not a total mess when his parents eventually wake up again. He tries to not pay attention to the stuff that is written on those papers, but he’s always been a curious child and he’s so, so desperate for anything that can be good news, a breakthrough, anything.

But the stuff in the papers are damning stuff. He lears about the real truth about the disease. It’s not a disease at all, but poison. He learns that Lami has less than a year left to live. He learns that he will be dead and gone long before he’s even 15. He learns that there’s no cure…

Despite everything, Law refuses to give in to despair. His parents haven’t given up, so there has to be hope (there is always hope) and Law would never disbelieve his parents. They’re working so hard, there’s no way it won’t work out… God would never repay them with despair, god would never forsake them! …Right?

So Law continue to do all he can to assist, all he can to remain strong, all he can to plead to god to help them.

And then that fateful night happened.

And Law is alone.

Which brings me to a question that formed a lot of the hc I just brought up; “why did Law leave Flevance?”

Why was a roughly 10 y/o child so desperate to get out, he hid among the bodies of friends, neighbors and other people he knew?

The answer I reached was; he still believed, in people, in the world. In the goodness he’d been taught existed in everyone since he was old enough to understand what happens around him.

That’s not to say that Law wasn’t in total chock, he most definitely was, and that’s why he defaults to his teachings as a child.

So he escapes, probably convinced that there’s some kind of madness at play, maybe the people attacking Flevance has all been possessed by demons or something. He has to get out, he needs to contact authorities, the madness needs to stop and the people responsible to be held accountable.

He fears people but his programmed response to all of this is to find a trusted adult and let them handle it. It’s a war going on inside of him and he trusts nobody anymore. And that distrust is definitely what saved him in the beginning. Because Law learns that the world is nothing like what he’s been taught. The world isn’t great, people aren’t kind, and there’s nothing out there that cares… not about him, and not about anything else.

Law is chocked to learn that people starve to death. People die from treatable issues because they can’t afford to pay a doctor to treat them. People living without a home or dying because they can’t find shelter from the elements.

Law could never picture such a thing. It was beyond the evil things in his comic books. This was what the world was? This horrible, heartless thing? This was what people chose? This was what was preferred over the life he’d known where love and compassion and understanding ruled? It was incomprehensible, illogical and wrong.

Law ends up consumed by rage. How dares the world be this disgusting? How dares the world play him like this? To make bliss and happiness all he knew and then rip it away from him so cruley? How dare the world be this craven thing, not worthy to even exist in the first place? Law swears that he’ll destroy this world - this hell, unworthy to exist in the first place - or at least do as much as he can to reach that goal before he dies.

But to reach his goal, he can’t be alone. So he searches for the best candidate to get the job done. And he finds it, one day when he spots a weird smiley-face with a line across it.

But I’m getting ahead of myself, the influence on love and lies that Law got from the Don Quixote is a different post.

What I want to focus on is before that.

What is Laws relationship with love and lies up to this point?

I very much believe that he’d been taught that lying is fundamentally wrong. Though perhaps always not a good thing to do, sometimes it’s the better of two evils. That to lie is to lose people’s trust. All the pretty normal stuff you feel like people learns about lying.

And about love? To be there, to protect and care for. And how did Law care for Lami? He lied, to keep her spirits up and trying to keep her strong, he lied to keep her safe and sound. I believe he probably also lied to his parents in a desire to keep them going strong too. Maybe he lied to the Sister sometimes too, though we do see him opening up to her.

Law strikes me as a scared child, desperately trying to keep it together to not add to his parents workload and worries. He probably carried a worlds worth of troubles on his shoulders but was unwilling to show it. Children are prone to bottle things up and try their damn hardest in situations no child should deal with. I feel like Law is one of those children. He’d be unwilling to let people know that he’s “drowning” because he knows in the crisis at hand, everyone else is “drowning” too.

And after he gets out of Flevance, he has nothing and no-one. He needs to unravel all the lies he’s been taught all his life. And he needs to come to some sort of rationalization around the people he loved, and the lies that they told.

The crux of the matter is that I feel like Law was so, so under-prepared for the reality of the OP world. He was raised to live in a world that didn’t exist. And then traumatized and thrown out in a dog-eat-dog world. I wouldn’t be surprised if there was “bounties” placed on people with white/amber lead and fear mongering propaganda to whip the public into a frenzy knowing how the WG handled Robin.

Again, I think a lot of the conclusions that Law would come to will be further explained (and tied into) the things that Doflamingo would teach Law, so it’s something to put in this posts “second part”.

But I’ve been chatting into the void for far too long already. I’m interested in hearing other people’s thoughts and speculations on Law’s past and his relationship with love and lies… though that last part is probably better to wait until I finish the second half of this huge topic… whenever that is, lol😅

I just see Law as some who links love and lies together. Who doesn’t necessarily think in “truth or lies” but in “cause and effect”. So regardless if someone is lying or not is less relevant to him as the reason for lying.

A lie or a truth, regardless of which, are told with a desired outcome in mind. It can be to hurt, to manipulate, to protect, regardless, the intent from the person in question matters more to Law, it helps him with knowing how to deal with the person in question.

I think it’s something that Doflamingo would teach him, how to dissect people so that you can manipulate them better.

Law just (unfortunately?) can’t be vulnerable with people and will use lies and manipulation to help and/or protect the people who he cares about.

[myremnantarmy]

𝐌𝐚𝐫𝐜𝐡 𝟏𝟗, 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟑

Fourth Sunday of Lent

Gospel Jn 9:1-41

As Jesus passed by he saw a man blind from birth.

His disciples asked him,

"Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents,

that he was born blind?"

Jesus answered,

"Neither he nor his parents sinned;

it is so that the works of God might be made visible through him.

We have to do the works of the one who sent me while it is day.

Night is coming when no one can work.

While I am in the world, I am the light of the world."

When he had said this, he spat on the ground

and made clay with the saliva,

and smeared the clay on his eyes,

and said to him,

"Go wash in the Pool of Siloam" —which means Sent—.

So he went and washed, and came back able to see.

His neighbors and those who had seen him earlier as a beggar said,

"Isn't this the one who used to sit and beg?"

Some said, "It is, "

but others said, "No, he just looks like him."

He said, "I am."

So they said to him, "How were your eyes opened?"

He replied,

"The man called Jesus made clay and anointed my eyes

and told me, 'Go to Siloam and wash.'

So I went there and washed and was able to see."

And they said to him, "Where is he?"

He said, "I don't know."

They brought the one who was once blind to the Pharisees.

Now Jesus had made clay and opened his eyes on a sabbath.

So then the Pharisees also asked him how he was able to see.

He said to them,

"He put clay on my eyes, and I washed, and now I can see."

So some of the Pharisees said,

"This man is not from God,

because he does not keep the sabbath."

But others said,

"How can a sinful man do such signs?"

And there was a division among them.

So they said to the blind man again,

"What do you have to say about him,

since he opened your eyes?"

He said, "He is a prophet."

Now the Jews did not believe

that he had been blind and gained his sight

until they summoned the parents of the one who had gained his sight.

They asked them,

"Is this your son, who you say was born blind?

How does he now see?"

His parents answered and said,

"We know that this is our son and that he was born blind.

We do not know how he sees now,

nor do we know who opened his eyes.

Ask him, he is of age;

he can speak for himself."

His parents said this because they were afraid of the Jews,

for the Jews had already agreed

that if anyone acknowledged him as the Christ,

he would be expelled from the synagogue.

For this reason his parents said,

"He is of age; question him."

So a second time they called the man who had been blind

and said to him, "Give God the praise!

We know that this man is a sinner."

He replied,

"If he is a sinner, I do not know.

One thing I do know is that I was blind and now I see."

So they said to him,

"What did he do to you?

How did he open your eyes?"

He answered them,

"I told you already and you did not listen.

Why do you want to hear it again?

Do you want to become his disciples, too?"

They ridiculed him and said,

"You are that man's disciple;

we are disciples of Moses!

We know that God spoke to Moses,

but we do not know where this one is from."

The man answered and said to them,

"This is what is so amazing,

that you do not know where he is from, yet he opened my eyes.

We know that God does not listen to sinners,

but if one is devout and does his will, he listens to him.

It is unheard of that anyone ever opened the eyes of a person born blind.

If this man were not from God,

he would not be able to do anything."

They answered and said to him,

"You were born totally in sin,

and are you trying to teach us?"

Then they threw him out.

When Jesus heard that they had thrown him out,

he found him and said, "Do you believe in the Son of Man?"

He answered and said,

"Who is he, sir, that I may believe in him?"

Jesus said to him,

"You have seen him,

the one speaking with you is he."

He said,

"I do believe, Lord," and he worshiped him.

Then Jesus said,

"I came into this world for judgment,

so that those who do not see might see,

and those who do see might become blind."

Some of the Pharisees who were with him heard this

and said to him, "Surely we are not also blind, are we?"

Jesus said to them,

"If you were blind, you would have no sin;

but now you are saying, 'We see,' so your sin remains.

[deathfavor]

Actually, you guys are getting one of my rambles because I've decided this is a fascinating topic, Lucifer is active, and it's been a while since I've rambled about him anyways so we're due.

The thing is that Lucifer's war was never against Michael or the other angels. Strategically, yes, Lucifer planned for this because it was inevitable such would occur. But it wasn't aimed at Michael. Lucifer NEVER had his sights on killing Michael or the other angels. He was willing to of course, sacrifices were going to happen. That didn't mean he wanted to. He didn't. For all the rage that Lucifer has against God, it's never been directed to those who were once closest to him. Vexed they would stand against him, but neither surprised nor hating.

In some old texts and books, Lucifer even speaks to Gabriel because Gabriel is the first to realize that something is wrong with Lucifer. I can't recall the exact titles of them. But regardless, Gabriel senses it and speaks with him and Lucifer admits to his unhappiness and confides the evening before the war that such is his plan. And Gabriel keeps it because telling will do no good. In others Gabriel encourages him to go ( though not by war, that was all Lucifer's doing ). It's interesting the dynamic that appears between them. Of being close and spending time together an then the way it fades. The point is though that some might have suspected or gotten clues.

Even after his fall, Lucifer still doesn't hate any of them. His hatred isn't with them. It's not even with Heaven per se. It's strictly with God. Lucifer IS ruthless and he WILL destroy anyone who gets in his way. But he doesn't hate them. In fact, Lucifer would be more than fine to catch up and chat with them even long after he's fallen. To see their faces again and see how they are doing. They might hate him, and Lucifer wouldn't blame them for that. He's not mad at Michael's rage against him. He understands it. But he won't return that anger.

So when and/or IF they start to fade? Be it from age or by dying in a battle or something else? It DOES manage to be one of the very few things that can draw an emotional reaction from Lucifer. He doesnt feel easily as we all know, but for them? Them he does. And it hurts. He can feel that presence disappear like a star vanishing from the sky. What is worse is he can't do anything. He can't go see a coffin or ceremony because that's all in Heaven. He just has to know without anything more. No one would probably even tell him unless it was battle. But Lucifer knows regardless, and he doesn't rejoice in it.

[luellaaa]

don't ask ? don't tell ?

[this is not about the US Army policy]

tonight i've been thinking about encounters in my life where people have talking about sexuality and how i've noticed that different age groups have different reactions when personal sexuality is the subject of conversation.

this is what i've noticed from being in crowds where i'm either the oldest, or the youngest (literally no in-between)

~ age >20 normalises personal sexuality and the topic of sexuality. open about thoughts, feelings and ask questions without fear.

~ age <20 are quite the opposite and don't like to talk about or disclose personal info about themselves or others, don't ask questions either.

growing up in the 2010's and living my adolescence in the 2020's i've found that people my age and younger are extremely open about themselves, and not afraid to ask others of their identity or sexuality. i believe i might sit on the cusp of people that doesn't like to be so open, and people that couldn't care less about who knows about their identity and sexual preference.

instance one is in and around the school environment. close friends, friends, and people i had only spoken to less than once in my life would come up to me and ask me such questions. "you gay?" "yeah you're bi" "so what are you?" "so you're asexual right?" "oh yeah i heard you're pan". one friend would ask me if i was fruity just about every week because i never gave a concrete answer. for the record, i have never explicitly come out as anything, nor do i plan on doing so. through these statements and questions from just about everyone in my inner/outer circle i have grown used to such questions and really don't think anything of them- like it's invasive, but you never have to tell anyone anything if you don't want to. i still don't know how to handle them though, i just shrug it off or say something like "nope, where did you hear that?" "who said that?" "i don't really know to be honest" stuff like that. i can see how it's invasive and weird, but i can also see how it's normalised and i think kids just want to know, as if it were a question like what's your favourite colour. (desensitised to the topic in a way) i think that like kids in the 2010's have grown up being taught not to care who's who and who's what and the majority know to love and accept either way.

instance two was at a karen's diner and i was with a friend. being karen's, it's already a casual and rude/invasive/wrong setting. my friend was wearing sunglasses that look like 'the fame' album cover. one worker came up to us and goes "oh my god are those, like, lady gaga" and my friend goes "oh so you're girlypop." and i go "omg yeah" and the worker blows up at my friend and i for asking that threatening to kick us out for breaching their respect code. i had so many thoughts running through my mind, like how come its normal between younger peers but with older peers its completely inappropriate? (i'm talking 15-19 being younger and 20-25 being older) why is this guy blowing up at my friend like this because its not like we care, but then again why did we need to ask? i believe the waiter was 18 or a little older, i feel really bad for him and i know my friend didn't want to upset him, but then again in a setting full of young people the question is so normalised that neither of us expected that reaction from him. talking to this friend, we don't believe young people ask someones sexuality as a malicious thing as it was in the past. sexuality is something that people are still fighting for today, but something that has been normalised in western cultures and through young education etc kids now are only asking because they are curious and want to know. this waiter was definitely still a teenager but was probably the youngest in their group of people in the workplace. they had an older co-worker also there speaking on their behalf, which could have influenced their reaction?

instance three was tonight (the reason why i'm writing this post actually) talking to my manager at work about instance two. the look of disgust on his face, i had lost all thoughts from my head and as much as i kept saying to save the conversation- i really couldn't say anything because i didn't realise how it was just so normalised within my age group. i've said "you can't just ask someone that" and he shuts his eyes and shakes his head in agreement. we sort of left the conversation at that, the shift was over and we went our separate ways, but i still felt like i needed to talk more about it. (so hence i'm writing this post)

in the car driving home, i was thinking asking that type of question isn't okay, especially if it's someone you don't know well enough- like it's personal info that no one is entitled to know. but why is it so normalised in my age group to simply ask and tell? like no one cares, like asking what your favourite colour is (and yes i do know its deeper than that, but genz really doesn't make it feel that way) also why isn't it normalised with people in their 20's/older? i believe they find it offensive? and there's no real conclusion to this post as everyone has their own thoughts and are 100% entitled to their own opinions. i'm just sharing this as i might find common ground with people? like if this is noticeable or if its something only i think- i really hope its not though. i believe it should be normalised? but then again i can 100% see how the question is invasive and wrong to ask (because i literally find it uncomfortable to answer) but if someone asks me like i won't be offended as i don't think its deep enough to be offended over? lol i don't even know what to think i hope someone relates to or understands this

i'm so sorry i think this blog post is so messy but it's a brain dump of the same conflicting emotions over and over so if u read slay and thx <3

[bansheeoftheforest]

Blood of the God [TKC Walt &/ Anubis]

In some ways this feels like the weirdest thing I've ever written which says quite a lot because I have written WAYYYYYYY worse stuff. Some of which I've published online. Some of which I have written for/shown my writing classes. Yet this takes the cake.

This can be read both as a platonic and romantic fic!

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Wordcount: 5064

Summary:  After years of searching, Anubis finally finds a way to cure Walt from his family curse, although the cure involves a sacrifice few would be willing to make.

CW: Blood, self-harm but in a blood-sacrifice way and not an actual depressed self-harm way. Stay safe!

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If there was one thing Anubis knew for certain, it was that he would do anything for Walt Stone.

  It had been a year since the battle of Apep, and it had been a year since the descendent of Akhenaten should have died, had it not been for the god of death taking him as his host. It was an agreement they both felt content with, one made of desperation and compromise, and now they could even go as far as to say that they might even be friends, in some ways closer than anyone could ever be. And so, it was only natural that Anubis, despite enjoying his time being hosted, had been searching for the final cure for the curse which had befallen the ancient bloodline, wishing to free his friend from the shackles that held him. When he was not by Walt's side, he was reading every scroll, questioning every dead, taking any lead he could to get closer to solving the medical mystery. He hadn't told Walt, not yet. He did not wish to get his hopes up, not as his efforts had already proven fruitless time and time again for nearly two years.

  Well… He had a lead, now. A new one. A promising one.

  By searching historical records from the time of Akhenaten, every piece of history he could get his hands on, he had found the name of the man who had supposedly placed the curse upon the first accursed ancestor, a priest who had been deemed worthy enough for the Field of Reeds. He knew every person that had ever passed through the Halls of Judgment, every soul doomed and every soul granted eternal bliss, but it seemed like certain acts had remained hidden even from him, as the unbiased soul-weigher. But it was a lead, and hopefully not one that would end up in another dead end. 

  The Field of Reeds were bountiful, vast, neverending. It was almost impossible to traverse if you did not know who you were searching for, you could walk for miles before finding a single soul, but the Field of Reeds were one of the domains that Anubis knew best, and he found his target quickly.

  The man showed significant signs of age, even with his bald head and clean-shaven face. Around his body wrapped white robes and a leopard skin,  and his general appearance made it clear that he had once been a person of high standing. In his life, he had been a priest, and a follower of the Path of Ra, and as such had been even more enraged as Akhenaten attempted to disband the worship of the pantheon. Now, the man wandered the fields with an everlasting bliss, neither priest nor magician anymore. 

  “Djedefre.”

  The man turned towards the voice who called him. Upon seeing the jackal-headed god, he fell into a deep bow.

  “Lord Inpu- what an honor!” 

  The jackal's ear flickered at the use of one of his egyptian names, to speak in the ancient language was always a bliss.

  “Rise, Djedefre.”

  The man did as told. While his true lord was Ra, he had once been mortal, and he was still very dead, and so he took no chances when showing proper respect to one of the lords of the underworld. 

  “Whatever could I do for you, my lord?”

  Anubis watched the man for a moment. He seemed agreeable enough, perhaps his journey was at its end, after all.

  “Tell me, are you the one who placed the curse upon Akhenaten and his offspring?”

  The priest merely stared at the other for a moment, as if he was unsure if he heard him correctly. Yet, once Anubis’ eyes narrowed, he immediately cleared his throat. 

  “That is correct, my lord.”

  “And so, you would know how to reverse it, yes?”

  At this, the priest went quiet once again, his eyebrows furrowing in confusion.

  “Reverse it? Why would it need to be reversed, oh lord?”

  The god’s ears flickered in annoyance. 

  “Because,” he started, voice almost growling, “the one currently living with the curse is my high priest, my host, my Eye. If you know of a way to reverse it, I demand to know it.”

  Instead of being intimidated, the former priest of Ra merely gaped, perplexed.

  “You... You took a descendent of Akhenaten as your vessel, lord?”

  “Answer my question, priest.”

  “My lord, you have to understand, I never expected anyone to want to remove the curse, much less a god-”

  Anubis crossed his arms over his chest, a gesture which finally seemed to get the fearsome priest a bit nervous.

  “- ah, well, but if you like your vessel so much, you will be glad- glad indeed!- That you can reverse it.”

  “Speak.”

  Djedefre, once more, cleared his throat and attempted to smooth out the pleats of his robes.

  “My lord, I never expected anyone to wish to remove the curse- other than the descendents, that is- but as you know, curses cannot last forever, not without a tether.”

  Tethers, of course; hypothetical offerings in exchange for everlasting power. Nothing unbound lasts forever, a curse without a tether would fizzle out within a few centuries, one with a tether could last for thousands of millenia, as long as the tether still existed. 

  “Right.”

  “As Akhenaten sinned against the gods, I made that it's tether; the only way it can be reversed, is for a god to wish it so.”

  The jackal’s ears twitched once more.

  “...That cannot be all.”

  The priest smiled sheepishly.

  “It is not, my lord. For you see, a god cannot simply remove the curse on their own whim. They need to make their own sacrifice, to prove that the curse is worth breaking.”

  Of course, he couldn’t have expected anything else, but the suspicion rose within him.

  “...And what would such a sacrifice entail?”

  He really did not like the way the priest smiled, almost perversely. 

  “Blood, my lord. Divine blood.” 

  The god’s ears pinned back against his head, the only sign that he had listened and processed what the priest said. Djedefre did his best to ignore the god’s movements, and continued.

  “To break the curse, a god must be willing to let the accursed consume their blood. It is an utmost sacrifice, as you must know. The mortal must suckle the god’s veins to be rid of their plague.” 

  ‘Suckle,’ Anubis thought, ‘did you have to make it sound so weird?’ 

  “Why would you decide to make that the anticurse?” 

  The priest smiled.

  “As I said, my lord, I never thought a god would forgive Akhenaten’s bloodline, and I would personally never allow it, and so I made it a sacrifice no god would ever make. If you excuse my rudeness- I know of no gods who would allow anyone to drink from their veins.” 

  “...Very well,” Anubis said. “Is that all? He just needs to drink divine blood?” 

  The priest nodded. 

  “It needs to be directly from the body. The longer the blood stays out, the more profane it will become. It needs to flow through him as it is pumped through the god.” 

  “And you are sure that this will cure him?” 

  “I swear upon my eternal afterlife itself, my lord.” 

  It calmed him, slightly, at least. If this failed, he had someone to take it out on.

  “Very well.” The god nodded, mostly to himself, “I thank you for your cooperation.” 

  The priest bowed, as Anubis took his leave.

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He couldn’t say that he knew how to break the news to Walt. 

  On one hand, he had the cure for the disease which had consumed his entire bloodline and should have killed him a year ago, but on the other hand… Well… 

  He had heard about similar curses before, of course, and of similar ‘cures’. Gods are selfish and stubborn and protective of themselves, few would be willing to part with a strand of hair from their head, much less the blood which flowed through their veins, and as much as Anubis wanted to save Walt, as much as he knew that he had to, he still felt… Very uncomfortable at the thought of offering himself in such a way. It wasn’t like he had much to lose- other than his blood, that is- because if the cure did not work, he could still stay with Walt as his hosted god. Whether or not Walt would still want to host him if he was cured was an entirely different question.

  He talked briefly to Thoth. As annoying as he was, and as much as Anubis still held a grudge against him, the god of wisdom could still tell him about what might happen with him and his host, if they went through with the supposed cure. 

  “You will most likely be fine,” the Ibis-god had said, “in worst case, you suffer bloodloss, but gods are hardy.” 

  Anubis had nodded.

  “With Walt, however…” The ibis closed his eyes and shook his head gently. “He very well could be cured, but it is more dangerous for him. Too little could make no difference, too much could overwhelm his mortal body, incapacitate him or even kill him.” 

  “...Of course,” Anubis murmured dryly, “It can never be simple.” 

  The ibis smiled apologetically, as much as an ibis could smile at all. 

  “My only advice for you is to be focused. You should see the signs, your own and his, when it has gone too far.” The god of wisdom summoned a scroll, briefed through it for a moment, nodded to himself, and then continued, “There have been instances of… Ah, similar actions, but with blood already exposed to the mortal realm. Those mortals turned bloodthirsty, almost addicted to the substance.” 

  “...So you are telling me that he could either not be cured, get even worse, want to continue to bloodlet me, or just… Die?” 

  “That is the gist of it, yes.” 

  Well… Safe to say, his talk with Thoth had done little to calm his nerves. And it did not help that Walt was beginning to ask questions, wondering what he was up to that made him so quiet. 

  …Well, better late than never, he supposed. 

….

It was dark out by the time Anubis came back to the Brooklyn House. With his time in the Field of Reeds and in the Library of Thoth, he assumed at least a few days had passed since he last disappeared. He was sure that Walt could feel his presence in the House, and so he could simply wait in his room until he finished whatever he was doing, giving the god some time to attempt to formulate a way to… Propose what he had been told. And so, he merely sat down on the bed, and waited. 

  It took about fifteen minutes before Walt entered the room. Now, when the other’s curse was on the forefront in his mind, Anubis saw the dark knot within Walt’s chest, the tangles that, to some, openly displayed his affliction. Walt’s happy smile faded as he felt the nervous presence of the other, despite the god’s effort to not color the other with his own anxiety. 

  “Hey,” Walt came closer, then sat down on the bed, next to the god. “Is something wrong?” 

  “No.” A lie, of course, one that he immediately felt guilty about, especially so as Walt merely gave him a stern look. “Okay, yes, but no.” 

  Walt continued to look at him, eyebrows scrunched in confusion, as he waited for the god to continue. Anubis hesitated, then cleared his throat. 

  “I have… News. Good and bad.” 

  “Alright,” Walt said, calm and composed, “What are the bad news?” 

  Well, that is unfortunate. 

  “...You might have to consume my blood..?” 

  Anubis wasn’t yet sure if it was a good or a bad thing that Walt didn’t seem to grasp what he said.

  “...What?” 

  The god, often so stoic and composed, felt his cheeks burn up under the gaze of the other. 

  “Listen- I searched for a way to cure you of your curse, before you began to host me, yes?” He wanted so desperately to explain, but the fluster made it hard for him to formulate his words. “I never… Well, I never stopped looking. And I found a lead- a priest of Ra, the one that cursed Akhenaten, and because Akhenaten had sinned against the gods, he made the… Ah, he made the solution a sacrifice of the gods. In this case… Blood.” 

  The explanation seemed to do little to help the mortal’s confusion, overwhelm, ability to process what the other said. The cogs turned and turned in Walt’s head.

  “I… What?” Walt’s face scrunched as his brows furrowed and his head tilted, Anubis almost cowered under the confused gaze. “Wait, wait, wait- let me get this right- you… You found a cure to my curse?”

  “Yes.”

  “And that cure involves me… Drinking your blood… Because it demands like… A blood sacrifice?” 

  “...Essentially, yes.” 

  Walt turned away from the god, looking straight ahead from where they sat on his bed. 

  “I mean-” Anubis continued, “It doesn’t have to be my blood but…” 

  “It is not like I have a ready supply of other gods willing to give me theirs.” Walt finished, he  couldn’t help but… Smile, very slightly, mostly because of how bizarre this was. “Well… Assuming that you are?” 

  He would have liked to say yes immediately. He would have liked to have no hesitation at all, because he was more loyal to Walt than he had ever been to anyone or anything in his entire life. But it was still a large ask, one miniscule in comparison to the good it could potentially do, with risks that could worsen the suffering that had already killed Walt once.

  “I am.” He finally said. “If it is a chance you would like to take.” 

  “...I might need to think about it.” Walt turned back towards the god, and smiled slightly. “I mean- the idea of, y’know, being free from the curse is… Amazing. But I never thought I would ever have that alternative.” 

  Anubis did his best to give his host a reassuring smile.

  “I understand. If you wish, I could speak to the priest again, if you have questions.” 

  Walt merely nodded. 

…

Walt took a week to think it through. It was not like either of them were in any hurry.

  He had asked Anubis questions, some which he could answer, some which he couldn’t, and so he had taken a few more trips to the Field of Reeds and Djedefre to make sure that his host knew what he was getting into. Walt had chosen to not say anything to the other magicians just yet. On one hand, he didn’t want to tell them until he was more sure, but in the other hand… He wasn’t sure if he would ever become sure, even when the time actually came. The questions kept swirling and swirling in his head. 

  Was he willing to die for a chance to be rid of his curse? Was it worth it to let Anubis, in some ways, sacrifice himself for his sake? He could live with the pains he still had, but if it meant that his curse could no longer kill him, if it meant he couldn’t pass it down… At the same time, there were risks. Anubis had warned him of what the priest and Thoth had told him could happen if it went too far, were the dangers truly worth it? He wasn’t sure, but if he had the solution to the problem that had plagued his family for thousands of years...

  In the end, what choice did he have?

…

It was agreed, then. They had it all planned out, as much as they could, anyways, but he still hadn’t said anything to the other initiates. The same anxiety from before, from before they ever found out about the curse in the first place, lingered; the want to not be a burden, to not worry them. Yet the more logical part of him knew that they most likely would want to hear about a supposed cure directly from him, they probably would want to be involved, and would not want to have it explained by Anubis, what they had attempted to do and why Walt was hypothetically dead. But since Walt was also hosting the god, the chances of his death were reduced, if even slightly, and Thoth had seemingly assured Anubis that he would know when it would be over. Walt... Not so much. 

  He excused himself from the others quite early, he ate dinner quickly with the excuse of needing to rest, before he returned to his room. There, Anubis would be waiting for him.

  As he opened and quickly closed the door, the first thing he noticed was his god placed upon the bed. He usually wore layers, but this time, he had skipped his jacket and wore a t-shirt that had most of his arms bare. He wore no jewelry or accessories either. On his desk next to the bed laid the supplies the god had prepared on a tray; tissues, bandages, disinfectant, and a scalpel. The mortal could practically feel his stomach twist into a knot at the sight. 

  “So... I guess we are doing this, then?” The magician asked, coming closer to where the god sat. 

  “I am ready, if you are.” 

  Walt nodded gently. 

  “Where would you like to be?” He asked then.

  “...It is your room, I will be where you want me to be.” Anubis stated, almost a bit confused. 

  Walt thought for a moment. He wanted Anubis to be as comfortable as possible- and, honestly, he also wanted to be comfortable- but he couldn’t say that he was particularly keen on the idea of blood in his bed... But he also knew he could part with a few sheets, and so, it didn’t particularly matter. 

  “The bed it is, then.” 

  The mortal took the tray and carried it over to the double bed, where he placed it before he sat down as well.

  “...I’m going to be honest,” Anubis murmured, “I don’t think I’ve ever bled before.” 

  At this, Walt’s eyes widened. 

  “Never?” 

  “Not that I can remember, at the very least.” 

  The mortal smiled apologetically at his friend.

  “In that case, I feel even more sorry for you.” 

  “Don’t be.” The god let his own lips twist into a more reassuring smile. “After all, I was the one who suggested this, wasn’t I?” 

  “Technically, I think it was the priest.”

  “Oh, shush.” 

  Walt couldn’t help but to laugh, at least happy for something little to ease the tension in the room. But as the silence settled, they let themselves look at each other for just a moment.

  “...I guess we are doing this, then?” 

  “Yeah, I guess we are.” 

  Anubis was quick, grabbing a tissue and putting disinfectant on it, before cleaning the blade of the already clean scalpel. Once that was done, he tossed it into the trashcan to their side, before grabbing a new tissue, new disinfectant, and this time, cleaning his wrist. It was mostly for Walt’s sake rather than his, as the chances of infections were close to impossible. 

  “Normally, I would be against doing a cut on a place with so many nerves, but I assume you do not wish to drink blood from my thigh.”

  Walt snorted.

  “I would not wish to drink your blood at all but... Yeah, that would be even weirder.” 

  “You wound me.” 

  “...Was that a pun?” 

  Anubis grinned, which looked a bit too psychotic when he was holding a blade.

  “Perhaps.”

  In other circumstances, the pun would have made Walt quite happy. But now, it merely felt like a distraction for what would inevitably come. 

  Well… No time to waste, then.

  The two moved until they were seated with their backs against the headboard of Walt’s bed. They were not sure for how long this would take, but some proper back support could be needed. Walt held Anubis’ left arm within his palm, where the god was holding the scalpel with his right hand. 

  In some ways, it still felt unreal. Incomprehensible what they were about to do, how far Walt would go to survive. But Anubis gave him little time to hesitate, as he pressed the blade into his skin and veins with surgical precision, making a clean cut that soon started bleeding. 

  As the wound was opened, Walt - remembering the warnings and advice that had been retold by others - threw himself forwards and connected his mouth with the wound, grip tightening around the pale arm which he held, yet Anubis made no word or sound of pain. The liquid gold which flowed through the god’s vein poured into his mouth, yet the taste was nowhere near as nauseating or disgusting as he thought it would be, nowhere near as metallic or meaty or bloody as mortal blood, no, the gold which he suckled was more like a stinging pain, like that tingling feeling of spice and heat which numbed any and all sensations of taste or nausea. The overwhelming feeling spread like a burning warmth throughout his body; from his mouth and into his throat, down into his torso and stomach, and out into his limbs, until all that was left was the ringing in his ears, the burning, tingling sensation that spread throughout his body, the overwhelming energy which grabbed him and made him understand the warnings of addiction, and the sole focus on his task. 

  With his mouth properly secured against the wrist, his eyes squeezed closed. The liquid which quickly poured out of the body of the god was being lapped and licked into that of the mortal, in a steady rhythm that soon made them both relax. Walt  loosened the grip that he had on the other, as Anubis’ body leaned against his shoulder. In this moment, Walt’s focus remained solely on the task at hand, in doing it properly so that it could be over with, so that he could be free and so that Anubis wouldn’t have to continue to bleed. Anubis watched the act with already tired eyes from where his head rested against his host’s shoulder, seemingly not in pain or having any ounce of discomfort. With every beat of his heart, the blood pulsated into the other, forever tainting or perhaps merely coloring the mortal to whom he was so loyal. 

  Through it all, the only sound that echoed within the room was the soft pants, the open-mouthed breathing of the god who did his very best to remain composed and conscious and aware, even as his body turned colder and colder, even as he started to shiver, and even as his vision started to blur and flicker, even then he had to remain conscious, so that he could watch as the knots in Walt’s chest slowly came undone, were slowly untied and slowly freed him from his curse. Perhaps his blood flowed quicker than it should, or perhaps he was merely unused to actually bleeding. Yet, soon the calmness that had gotten Walt disappeared, washed off of him as the hunger seemed to take control of the mortal once more, the confused desperation returned into the soul’s own thirst and eagerness for the burning substance he consumed. His grip once more tightened, his hunger once more flared, the knot was almost gone, and this was the sign the god had waited for.

  With futile effort, Anubis attempted to speak, to nudge the mortal, to warn him and to stop him, but his tongue was numb and unmoving and his body turned weaker with every drop which was stolen from him. Yet he mustered up the last strength he had, took the right hand which had dropped the scalpel, and pushed against Walt with all his might, successfully startling the mortal out of his blood-induced haze. 

  With the moment of clarity that soon came, as his ears stopped ringing and his eyes opened, Walt realized what was happening. At once, he removed his mouth from the wound and attempted to cover it with his own palm, to stop the bleeding until he could bandage it. The overwhelming warmth washed off of him as quickly as it had taken over him, leaving him with no evidence but the taste in his mouth and the blur of his vision. By the time he could reach the wrappings, the blood continued to pour freely, spilling onto his skin, his lap, and his bed. Yet he cared little for the spill as he focused on wrapping the wound closed, tight and secured, already stained by gold.

  …It was done, then. He couldn’t say that he felt particularly different- physically, at least. He had never felt more like a vampire in his entire life.

  As the wound was secured, he put his attention on the god, who laid slump against him. Yet he breathed and rasped and attempted to move when he felt Walt doing so, attempted to look at him. The mortal reached out his clean hand, and cupped the god’s face within it, cradled it. 

  “Hey, are you alright?” He asked, his concerned eyes scanning the face which tilted towards him. Anubis’ eyes were half-lidded, and his face still seemed quite slack, yet he did his best to nod. 

  “It’s gone.” The god murmured. “I see it. The curse. Gone.” 

  Honestly, the curse was the last thing on Walt’s mind right now. Yet he let Anubis lean back against his shoulder as he placed the scalpel back on the tray and reached for the tissues they had placed on the bed, so that he could clean them both up from the blood that had been spilt. Honestly, it didn’t even feel like blood, rather like something else entirely, not as the gore which flowed through the veins of another. 

  He started with wiping off Anubis’ arm, where some of the blood had been smeared and dripped down to his elbow, which left an almost shimmering residue no matter how much he tried to clean it, like it had poured into the very pores of the skin. Once Anubis was done, Walt cleaned off himself to the best of his ability, and tried to scrub out the inevitable stain on his clothes and bed. Futile. It had already dried, yet he didn’t care. He pushed the tray toward the very edge of the bed with his foot, giving them more space, before he snuck his arms in under the god’s knees and his back, lifting him and placing him a bit more in between his own legs, in his lap. Anubis’ soft breathing warmed his already overheated body as it moved over his skin, as he nuzzled in closer, as Walt wrapped his arms around him and held him close. 

  “Thank you.” Walt murmured. “Thank you, thank you, thank you.” 

  He felt the ghost of the other’s lips against him as they twisted into a small smile, yet Anubis didn’t reply, merely tried to nuzzle closer.

  This would be… Hard to explain to the others. 

  He tried to fully consider what had just happened. His curse was… Gone, just like that. Through the burning overwhelmed which had flared up, almost torn him apart, the curse had been broken, and he and his bloodline was… Free. And now he held Anubis in his arms, nuzzled against his hair, and stared into the darkness of his bedroom as the raspy breathing of the other turned more even and more shallow as he seemed on the verge of falling asleep. Walt could still not seem to grasp what they had done to get to this point, that he had just… Drank blood straight from someone’s body. Now, as he properly started to internalize it, the thought got his throat to close up and his tongue to burn with the taste of the liquid, and his body to shudder in vague disgust. It was not something he would ever want to do again.

  At the same time… He was glad that it had been them. In some ways it felt better to know that Anubis offered and sacrificed because he wanted to, because he liked him, and it felt better for Walt, knowing that he could now hold him close as they both recovered and calmed and eased. He felt calmer, now, when he held Anubis against his chest, with one arm around his waist, and the other resting on the other’s leg, gently holding his arm, moving his thumb over the cold skin which shimmered in gold. 

  “You didn’t answer.” Walt whispered again, “how are you feeling?” 

  Anubis stirred against him, shifting, his face scrunched at being disturbed as he curled up further against the host. 

  “...Tired.” The god whispered back. “I’ll be okay.” 

  “Promise?” 

  Anubis merely hummed in reply, shifted further to make himself comfortable against the other. He felt entirely, completely, utterly done. Exhausted beyond comprehension. Ready to sleep. 

  Walt felt the other’s exhaustion clearly, and while he would have loved to change the sheets first, he did not want to disturb the god even further. So, with the both of them still majorly dressed, Walt held Anubis up for a moment so that he could get the blanket they sat on, pulling it over the two of them. The soft shivers of the other stopped, he almost melted against the warmth of Walt on one side and the warmth of the blanket on the other. Once they were tucked in, Walt moved down into the bed, until their heads were against the pillows and not the wall or headrest. Now, he merely held the other, tucked a few locks of hair behind the other’s ears, watched as the other was lulled into sleep. 

  He wasn’t sure how he would explain any of this to the Kanes, he wasn’t sure how he would explain what they had done, and why he had decided not to tell them beforehand, but now his priority lay with Anubis, who was already snoozing softly against him. 

  And so, with the blood of the other still in his mouth, and with the open wound slowly closing, the two fell asleep against each other.

  At peace, at last. 

---------------------------------- Please support this on AO3 too! :D https://archiveofourown.org/works/60540346 ----------------------------------

[andswarwrites]

Day 4

"Make the truth your own"; I sang those lyrics as a child.  They are derived from 2 Corinthians 4:2, "But we have renounced the shameful, underhanded things, not walking with cunning or adulterating the word of God; but by making the truth manifest, we recommend ourselves to every human conscience in the sight of God".  I'd like to share the journey of how I made the truth my own.  And how appropriate that I write on this topic today.  My family does not celebrate many occasions.  But today is an occasion, most certainly.

I'll get into that, but first, a little background.  My parents were raised in Christian households.  My mother is an honest person with a strong sense of justice.  My dad was not impressed with religion.  In her twenties, my mom befriended two women who studied the Bible with her.  She simply devoured the information.  Several years later my father studied the Bible too, and he accepted what he learned as the truth.  So now Mom and Dad were united in their worship of God, and raised all three of their children to be God-fearing too.

Here are some snapshots of my upbringing.  Bedtime was a peaceful time of day.  My dad would read to me from a book of Bible Stories, with colorful illustrations, and then he would listen to my prayer.  He would kiss me goodnight and turn out the light.  If my Mom was putting me to bed, she would sing me at least one lullaby, and she would tell me to "dream of Paradise".  There were pictures of Paradise in the book my dad read to me, so I would think about them in an effort to fall asleep and dream about it.

From a young age I accompanied my parents door to door as part of our worship.  Jesus says in Matthew 10:7: "As you go, preach, saying: ‘The Kingdom of the heavens has drawn near.’"  The most formal way to follow this instruction is by door to door canvassing.  But all my life, I have enjoyed discussing the Bible as well as my faith in it, with anyone and everyone. I know some children are shy and nervous about talking to strangers.  That was never the case with me.  I greeted people with a big smile everywhere I went.

Now, I was pretty young when my mother suggested I memorize a scripture.  It became my favorite for a long time: Revelation 21:4.  "And he will wipe out every tear from their eyes, and death will be no more, neither will mourning nor outcry nor pain be anymore. The former things have passed away.”  The very same week I learned to recite this scripture by heart, just a few days later, I knocked on the door of an older lady.  She told me that her husband had just died.

I asked her if I could show her a verse from the Bible, and when I read her the one scripture I knew, I looked up and she had tears in her eyes.  I impulsively gave her a hug.  From that moment, I loved the "door-to-door ministry" in my own right.  And I was motivated to get to know my Bible more intimately.  There are 31 102 scriptures in the Bible, and it is divided into a total of 66 books.  To get an overall idea of its message, you have to read the whole book.  It took me a while.  And you know what I did when I completed it?  I re-read it.

Some books speak to you differently, depending on where you are at in your life.  What you understand as a child, you understand differently as a youth, what touches your heart as a young adult touches that same heart in a different way as a wife and mother.  That is why I keep re-reading the Bible.  One example, as a child I loved the story of Ruth because of her loyalty and because I thought the story of how she and Boaz got married was exciting.  As an adult, I read about her tender care of Naomi and it brings tears to my eyes.

Twenty-five years ago in November, when I was ten, I symbolized my dedication to God by water baptism, and vowed to live my life a certain way.  Just like in a marriage vow, you promise love and loyalty to your mate for the rest of your life, I vowed loyalty and love to God.  It only took me ten years of life to build a fire in my heart, a combination of faith, love and awe, and I have been stoking that fire ever since.  At times that fire has gone down to the coals, but it has never been extinguished, and I pray it never will.

This evening we will celebrate the Lord's Evening Meal.  In some churches it is called Mass.  It coincides with Passover.  Rather than explain it myself, I'll let the Apostle Paul do so: "For I received from the Lord what I also handed on to you, that the Lord Jesus on the night on which he was going to be betrayed took a loaf, and after giving thanks, he broke it and said: “This means my body, which is in your behalf. Keep doing this in remembrance of me.” He did the same with the cup also, after they had the evening meal, saying: “This cup means the new covenant by virtue of my blood. Keep doing this, whenever you drink it, in remembrance of me."" (1 Corinthians 1:23-25)

So now you know why I'm writing about this topic today.  The world is becoming more and more secularized, and faith is unpopular, religion even more so.  I don't shy away from discussing my beliefs, even if they may anger some.  I'm going to say right here right now that I will always treat anyone who talks to me with respect, I will protect their dignity, and their right to choose their own way of life.  If someone presses me to show support for a concept or idea that goes against Scripture, however, I will politely but firmly refuse. 

[the-king-andthe-lionheart]

The Fundamentals of Gendrya

So I just want to establish the possible foreshadowing Arya and Gendry have that hints at a possible romantic relationship in the future, as well as the romantic undertones present in their story.  I’m not really going to focus on symbolism in this meta (although it will come up a couple of times in a minor way), as that will be a focus for future meta.  This is only meant to establish the fundamental basics.

First I want to say that when I’m talking about the romantic possibility of Gendrya, I mean future Gendrya, as in once Arya is older.  However I will posit and say that because we are viewing this in the world of Westeros (in a pseudo Medieval world that GRRM exaggerated and sensationalized from real Medieval sources as well as rumor) and because GRRM has established he has no problems with placing his younger characters in romantic or sexual situations (see Mercy TWOW) I think it would be remiss to think GRRM would not take Arya and Gendry here if that was his plan all along.  After all, there is plenty of precedent.  

This also leads me to remind everyone that Gendry is not an adult when he meets Arya, and the age gap between the two is one of the least egregious age gaps in the books as most of the age gaps are between adult men in their 20’s and 30’s with 12-16 year old girl’s.  I think a lot of people think of the age gap as Arya being 9 the whole time and Gendry being 16, but this is in fact wrong.  According to the timeline, Arya and Gendry meet at the beginning of 299 AC, right around Arya’s 10th birthday.  In 299 AC Gendry was only 13/14 years old.  He was born in 284 AC and is not the same age as Robb and Jon, like Ned surmises.  Gendry is just big for his age, and it’s highly likely Gendry doesn’t even know how old he is.  When Arya and Gendry separate in ASOS Arya is almost 11 while Gendry is 14/15 years old.  

Regardless, this is fiction, and doesn’t reflect real world morals.  So what I’m getting at is that if anyone disagrees with this meta because of their ages I suggest you don’t read any further.

Foreshadowing

Our first hint of foreshadowing happens in Arya’s very first chapter:

She frowned down at them with dismay and glanced over to where her sister Sansa sat among the other girls.  Sansa's needlework was exquisite.  Everyone said so.  “Sansa's work is as pretty as she is,” Septa Mordane told their lady mother once.  “She has such fine, delicate hands.”  When Lady Catelyn had asked about Arya, the septa had sniffed.  “Arya has the hands of a blacksmith.” - Arya I AGOT

This quote is later followed up with:

[...] “I ruined that gown Lady Smallwood gave me, and I don't sew so good.”  She chewed her lip.  “I don't sew very well, I mean.  Septa Mordane used to say I had a blacksmith's hands.”

Gendry hooted.  “Those soft little things,” he called out.  “You couldn't even hold a hammer.” - Arya VII ASOS

In the same book Lem Lemoncloak says this to Gendry:

“You must be a lackwit, boy,” said Lem.  “We're outlaws.  Lowborn scum, most of us, except for his lordship.  Don't think it'll be like Tom's fool songs neither.  You won't be stealing no kisses from a princess, nor riding in no tourneys in stolen armor.  You join us, you'll end with your neck in a noose, or your head mounted up above some castle gate.” - Arya VII ASOS

At this point Arya is indeed a princess, but Lem also makes an obvious reference (to the audience) to the Knight of the Laughing Tree, which I think we can safely say was Lyanna.  The fact that Lyanna is Arya’s literary mirror, tells me we can connect Arya to Lem’s comment, not to mention the inclusion of “princess” just kind of seals the deal.  We also know that Arya is the spitting image of Lyanna and Gendry the spitting image of Robert Baratheon.  I think it’s worth noting also that after Acorn Hall, Lem takes it upon himself to make sure nothing untoward happens between Arya and Gendry (he thought Gendry was taking advantage of Arya after they wrestled) as he starts sleeping in between them, which is seen in Arya V ASOS when they are at The Peach.  Lem saying “Don’t think it’ll be like Tom’s fool songs neither” is also interesting because at Acorn Hall we specifically get Tom singing a love song directed towards Arya and Gendry.

Speaking of Lyanna and Robert being reflections of Arya (in both appearance and personality) and Gendry (in appearance for the most part) this is said in Eddard I AGOT:

We were meant to rule together. If Lyanna had lived, we should have been brothers, bound by blood as well as affection. Well, it is not too late. I have a son. You have a daughter. My Joff and your Sansa shall join our houses, as Lyanna and I might once have done."

Now this quote may be referring to Sansa and Joffrey, but I do think it’s foreshadowing for Gendrya and this is just a misdirect.  After all, Joffrey is not Robert Baratheon’s son by blood, but Gendry is, even though he is illegitimate.  To me this also sounds like a promise.  When you think about it, the story truly begins at the Tourney of Harrenhal with the events that broke the betrothal between Lyanna and Robert, so it would be very cyclical for the ending to do what the beginning could not, binding a Stark and a Baratheon together in marriage.

There are also several references about Arya marrying an apprentice/blacksmith:

“[...] Or if it is marriage and children you desire, tell me, and we shall find a husband for you.  Some honest apprentice boy, a rich old man, a seafarer, whatever you desire.” - Arya II AFFC

We also have a comment made by Jaime:

“Not all,” said Jaime.  “Lord Eddard's daughters live.  One has just been wed.  The other...”  Brienne, where are you?  Have you found her?  “...if the gods are good, she'll forget she was a Stark.  She'll wed some burly blacksmith or fat-faced innkeep, fill his house with children, and never need to fear that some knight might come along to smash their heads against a wall.” - Jaime I ADWD

Now I know what you are going to say, that Jaime is referring to Sansa possibly marrying a blacksmith or innkeep, but if it weren’t for Jaime’s thought’s in the middle towards Brienne, you’d never guess which Stark daughter he is referring to because Sansa was only just recently married as well.  Also it’s Arya who is associated with a blacksmith (Gendry) and a fat-faced innkeep (Hot Pie).  So while Jaime is referring to Sansa here I think we are meant to actually look at the reality behind this and reverse the foreshadowing back onto Arya, because it wasn’t Arya who was recently wed, that was Sansa.  It’s also Arya who is legitimately trying to forget she was a Stark (Sansa isn’t trying to forget, she is only pretending to be Alayne to ensure her protection) and like I mentioned it’s Arya who had a blacksmith and future employee at an inn as companions for two novels.  So I think it’s a foreshadowing switcheroo.  And I think it’s also worth mentioning that while Jaime sent Brienne out to save Sansa, Brienne spends her whole journey almost exclusively hearing news and following leads about Arya.

There is also a reference in Brienne VII AFFC that makes mention that Arya may marry an apprentice boy:

Gendry was the closest thing to a man grown, but it was Willow shouting all the orders, as if she were a queen in her castle and the other children were no more than servants.

If she were highborn, command would come naturally to her, and deference to them.  Brienne wondered whether Willow might be more than she appeared.  The girl was too young and too plain to be Sansa Stark, but she was of the right age to be the younger sister, and even Lady Catelyn had said that Arya lacked her sister's beauty.  Brown hair, brown eyes, skinny...could it be?  Arya Stark's hair was brown, she recalled, but Brienne was not sure about the color of her eyes.  Brown and brown, was that it?  Could it be that she did not die at Saltpans after all?

*

“One day that little girl [Willow] will make some man a frightful wife,” Ser Hyle observed.  “That poor 'prentice boy [Gendry], most like.”

Willow is very obviously a Arya stand-in which makes this specific quote about Arya and Gendry, not Willow and Gendry.

Arya IV ASOS has the strongest case for future romantic Gendrya.  Not only does Gendry follow after Arya and invite her to look at the forge, Gendry opens up to her about his life right before he was uprooted, and does this:

Gendry reached out with the tongs as if to pinch her face, but Arya swatted them away.

Gendry is being playful and open with Arya during most of this scene in the forge, teasing her in a manner that verges on flirting, telling her a story about his past, laughing and having fun with Arya.  And then this happens:

Gendry put the hammer down and looked at her.  “You look different now.  Like a proper little girl.”

“I look like an oak tree, with all these stupid acorns.”

“Nice, though.  A nice oak tree.”  He stepped closer, and sniffed at her.  “You even smell nice for a change.”

“You don't.  You stink.”  Arya shoved him back against the anvil and made to run, but Gendry caught her arm.  She stuck a foot between his legs and tripped him, but he yanked her down with him, and they rolled across the floor of the smithy.  He was very strong, but she was quicker.  Every time he tried to hold her still she wiggled free and punched him.  Gendry only laughed at the blows, which made her mad.  He finally caught both her wrists in one hand and started to tickle her with the other, so Arya slammed her knee between his legs, and wrenched free.  Both of them were covered in dirt, and one sleeve was torn on her stupid acorn dress.  “I bet I don't look so nice now,” she shouted.

Gendry compliments Arya’s looks and scent, only for Arya to think he’s teasing her about her appearance due to her intense insecurity when it comes to highborn conformation (Gendry’s laugh when he first saw her didn’t help matters in her insecurity even though Gendry most likely only laughed out of being startled at her transformation).  This insecurity leads Arya into getting angry and starting a wrestling match with him.  This wrestling scene also directly follows Jaime and Brienne’s very sexually charged sword fight, and could also be interpreted as foreshadowing a romantic and potentially sexual relationship in the future, like theirs did, when they are older.  

Now I’m not saying that I think Gendrya is going to go NC-17 in the books, but I do think it’s likely to go PG-13 by the end of ADOS, considering we have precedent that GRRM has no qualms about writing these types of things as I mentioned above, and we know Arya is going to be 12 in TWOW and may be at least 14-15 when the series ends depending on how much GRRM can spread out the timeline in the next two books.  But considering the amount of stuff that needs to happen, I think the next two books will span 2-3 years before the epilogue begins.

Then there is the love song GRRM specifically wrote for Arya.  A song that has only appeared in one chapter, Arya’s chapter:

“My featherbed is deep and soft,

and there I'll lay you down,

I'll dress you all in yellow silk,

and on your head a crown.

For you shall be my lady love,

and I shall be your lord.

I'll always keep you warm and safe,

and guard you with my sword.

“And how she smiled and how she laughed,

the maiden of the tree.

She spun away and said to him,

no featherbed for me.

I'll wear a gown of golden leaves,

and bind my hair with grass,

But you can be my forest love,

and me your forest lass.”

Now we know this song is about them because when Tom O’Sevens is singing it, he winks at Arya, and later Lady Smallwood specifically says to Arya “I have no gowns of leaves”.  The song specifically mentions yellow – a Baratheon color – and depicts the free spirited “Maiden of the Tree” who wants love on her own terms, which sounds like what an older, flowered version of Arya would want if she fell in love.

Romantic Undertones

Arya’s Crush

As she passed the armory, Arya heard the ring of a hammer. A deep orange glow shone through the high windows. She climbed to the roof and peeked down. Gendry was beating out a breastplate. When he worked, nothing existed for him but metal, bellows, fire. The hammer was like part of his arm. She watched the play of muscles in his chest and listened to the steel music he made. He's strong, she thought. As he took up the long-handled tongs to dip the breastplate into the quenching trough, Arya slithered through the window and leapt down to the floor beside him. - Arya IX ACOK

It’s very subtle but this paragraph tells us everything.  Arya unintentionally reveals in this quote that she watches Gendry blacksmithing enough to know that the world falls away when he’s in his element.  She watches the play of muscles in his back and notes how strong he is and even attaches poetic language to his work.  Arya has a crush on Gendry.  It’s not acknowledged and it’s likely she doesn’t understand it herself, but this seems to be the truth of it, especially with the way GRRM worded this.  I don’t know how many times I’ve read a romance where the protagonist studies their love interest while watching the “play of muscles” in their back or their arms.  It’s also interesting to note that Arya always mentions specifics about Gendry’s looks and notes details about him:

He blinked at her, startled. Strands of thick black hair, still wet from the bathhouse, fell across his deep blue eyes. "I'd hurt you." - Arya II ACOK

"It's me they want," Arya whispered back. His ear smelled of soap. "You be quiet." - Arya II ACOK

When she spied Gendry, his bare chest was slick with sweat, but the blue eyes under the heavy black hair had the stubborn look she remembered. - Arya VIII ACOK

"She's not alone." Gendry rode out from behind the cottage wall, and behind him Hot Pie, leading her horse. In his chainmail shirt with a sword in his hand, Gendry looked almost a man grown, and dangerous. Hot Pie looked like Hot Pie. - Arya II ASOS

Now most of these I’d normally chalk up to the author just being descriptive, but if that’s the case, why don’t we know more about Hot Pie’s looks, who Arya spent nearly a year with at the same time as Gendry?  Why does she take special time out to describe Gendry so much?  Honestly I think part of it is to keep reminding us that Gendry is a secret Baratheon bastard, but that doesn’t explain the first quote about Arya watching the “play of muscles” in his back and noting how strong he is.  So I think it’s a combination of GRRM wanting to remind the audience that Gendry is a Baratheon and to also subtly show us that Arya has an innocent crush on him, but doesn’t know or acknowledge that this is the case out loud.

Their Mutual Jealousy

Starting after the events of Acorn Hall in Arya IV ASOS, it’s obvious that something shifts in Arya and Gendry’s relationship.  One aspect is that Gendry can no longer ignore that Arya is indeed a highborn girl after seeing her for the first time dressed up as one.  He knows what class differences will mean for their friendship.  And another aspect, is that Gendry acknowledges that he may be romantically interested in Arya, or at least acknowledges the potential for those feelings to emerge in time.  And because of this, combined with their class differences, Gendry knows that if he follows Arya to Riverrun where her mother and brother are, he would end up watching Arya grow into someone he could romantically love, only for her to be torn away from him due to an arranged marriage.  Both of these aspects play a factor in why we see Gendry become more outwardly scathing towards highborns in the chapters following this and why his behavior seems to become one rife with jealousy.

In Arya V ASOS the Brotherhood Without Banners travel to The Peach and both of the above aspects I spoke of are present in this chapter:

"You don't even know what a brothel is."

"I do so," she insisted. "It's like an inn, with girls."

He was turning red again. "What are you doing here, then?" he demanded. "A brothel's no fit place for no bloody highborn lady, everybody knows that."

And when Gendry protects Arya from a pervert by saying that she’s his sister, this is what goes down:

"Why did you say that?" Arya hopped to her feet. "You're not my brother."

"That's right," he said angrily. "I'm too bloody lowborn to be kin to m'lady high."

Arya was taken aback by the fury in his voice. "That's not the way I meant it."

"Yes it is." He sat down on the bench, cradling a cup of wine between his hands. "Go away. I want to drink this wine in peace. Then maybe I'll go find that black-haired girl and ring her bell for her."

Arya doesn’t really understand the intentions of the pervert, despite knowing of sex, and is confused on why Gendry would say that he’s her brother, but when she asks him, he takes it the wrong way since he is already so sensitive about their class differences at this point in their story.  That last paragraph is what makes this exchange really interesting though.  Why would Gendry say this, when it’s already made clear and established in this chapter that Gendry has no intentions of sleeping with any of the girls, even when it’s offered to him for free?  He is very obviously lying to try to get a rise out of Arya and the only way this makes sense is if we put it under a romantic lens.

Then we have this:

Arya whirled and left him there. A stupid bullheaded bastard boy, that's all he is. He could ring all the bells he wanted, it was nothing to her.

Now considering Arya’s defense mechanism (the mechanism that has her calling things or people stupid when she’s hurt or feeling inadequate by them to try to make the pain and hurt not seem so severe) the fact that she calls Gendry a “stupid bullheaded bastard boy” and proclaims Gendry ringing the bells of any girl was “nothing to her” tells us that it matters to her and that she’s upset.  This is further reiterated in Arya VIII ASOS:

Arya wished she had another crabapple to bounce off his face. "My father had honor," she said angrily. "And we weren't talking to you anyway. Why don't you go back to Stoney Sept and ring that girl's stupid bells?"

So here we have Arya mention this three chapters later, likely weeks if not months later.  If Arya didn’t care about Gendry ringing “all the bells he wanted” then why is she still so hurt and jealous?  She’s obviously been stewing about this for a while.

In this same chapter we also see gems from Gendry that clearly proclaim that he’s still plagued about his class differences to Arya.  It also clearly shows that Gendry is jealous of Edric Dayne once Arya befriends him, especially since she befriended someone highborn, like her, who just so happens to be a boy who we know has nearly the same coloring as Rhaegar Targaryen, which evokes the history repeating motif that is present in Arya’s arc of the Rhaegar/Lyanna/Robert love triangle.

"You have a knife," Gendry suggested. "If your hair annoys you so much, shave your bloody head."

He doesn't like Ned. The squire seemed nice enough to Arya; maybe a little shy, but good-natured. She had always heard that Dornishmen were small and swarthy, with black hair and small black eyes, but Ned had big blue eyes, so dark that they looked almost purple. And his hair was a pale blond, more ash than honey. - Arya VIII ASOS

And

"My lady?" Ned looked embarrassed. "I'm Edric Dayne, the . . . the Lord of Starfall."

Behind them, Gendry groaned. "Lords and ladies," he proclaimed in a disgusted tone. Arya plucked a withered crabapple off a passing branch and whipped it at him, bouncing it off his thick bull head. "Ow," he said. "That hurt." He felt the skin above his eye. "What kind of lady throws crabapples at people?"

"The bad kind," said Arya, suddenly contrite. 

Gendry continues to encapsulate “ours is the fury” during Arya’s whole exchange with Edric Dayne.

I do want to add that I know Gendry’s class issues have always been there, and it’s definitely been made even more apparent to him during the War of the Five Kings during his time in the wartorn Riverlands with Arya, so it’s not exactly that far-fetched that Gendry may become even more sensitive and/or bitter about it.  However, this extremity of his behavior only happened after Acorn Hall where he saw Arya looking like the highborn girl she is.  And while I do believe part of Gendry’s increase of bitterness about their class differences does have to do with potential romantic feelings, I also think it has to do with Gendry also coming to terms with the fact that Arya’s family is also directly responsible for the carnage they have seen and experienced (even though he doesn’t blame Arya, as she seems to be one of Gendry’s exceptions when it comes to his dislike of the nobility).  If it weren’t for the blatant flirting on his behalf in the forge at Acorn Hall and the jealousy, I would honestly chalk it up to Gendry trying to reconcile his own trauma and anger regarding highborns, including Arya’s family’s sins, but alas, that is not completely the case.

Post Separation

When Arya is kidnapped by the Hound and witnesses the Red Wedding, Arya contemplates where she may go and this crosses her thoughts in a very romanticized light:

She could stay with Hot Pie, or maybe Lord Beric would find her there. Anguy would teach her to use a bow, and she could ride with Gendry and be an outlaw, like Wenda the White Fawn in the songs.

But that was just stupid, like something Sansa might dream. - Arya XII ASOS

The fact that Arya follows this thought up with “that was just stupid, like something Sansa might dream” tells us specifically what type of fantasy this is.  Arya isn’t fantasizing about an adventure, she’s fantasizing about love and romance, considering those are the types of flights of fancy Sansa always loses herself in.  Now Arya isn’t outright rejecting the possibility of romance here, because there is more to that second paragraph:

But that was just stupid, like something Sansa might dream. Hot Pie and Gendry had left her just as soon as they could, and Lord Beric and the outlaws only wanted to ransom her, just like the Hound. None of them wanted her around. They were never my pack, not even Hot Pie and Gendry. I was stupid to think so, just a stupid little girl, and no wolf at all.

She rejects the possibility because she remembers that Hot Pie and Gendry abandoned her as soon as they could, and that all the Brotherhood did was use her, according to her perspective on the matter.  And her perspective is entirely skewed because of her abandonment and low self-esteem issues, as well as not fully understanding the class issues as she honestly didn’t think that bringing Hot Pie and Gendry to Riverrun and Winterfell would cause any issues with their friendships, which is understandable for a kid to think.  Especially one that hadn’t been in the highborn world for the past year and a half.  In fact, Medieval children in the real world and in the books, weren’t reprimanded for playing together regardless of class, usually the highborn children played with the children of those who worked and lived within the castle walls, from other lords children to stewards children to the helps children.  It’s just something children did until they reached a certain age where it just wasn’t allowed anymore.  So it’s only natural for this not to really factor into Arya’s plans.

When Arya is about to walk into the House of Black and White, Arya comforts her fear with a memory of Gendry:

Suddenly she was somewhere else . . . back in Harrenhal with Gendry [...] - Arya I AFFC

Which indicates that Gendry is still very much on her mind at this point.  I think it really says something as well that Arya takes comfort from a memory at Harrenhal of all places.  I think this indicates how much comfort she took from their friendship.  I also think she doesn’t think about Gendry with the Brotherhood to take her comfort because while ASOS has the most romantic foreshadowing for them and the two shared some nice moments, it was also the start of them truly fracturing, or so her unreliable narration interpreted it as.  After all, she actually thought that Gendry was making fun of her looks at Acorn Hall, and she thought Gendry didn’t want to be her friend anymore as he “abandoned her” for the Brotherhood.  So while Harrenhal was awful and they had their disagreements there, Arya still felt reassured with his companionship and likely found it uncomplicated in comparison to her other problems at the time.

*

When we next see Gendry in Brienne VII AFFC we see a drastically different Gendry.  While Gendry has always been guarded and sullen with a chip on his shoulder, with little love for the nobility, this change is drastic enough where it’s unsettling to read at first.  Not only is Gendry just flat out rude in a very mean way but he is filled with rage.  Gendry joined the Brotherhood because he liked how they handled justice, but under Lady Stoneheart there is no justice and he doesn’t seem to mind.  His beliefs have shifted as well.

And though his eyes had been that same deep blue, Lord Renly's eyes had always been warm and welcoming, full of laughter, whereas this boy's eyes brimmed with anger and suspicion.

Septon Meribald asked if he might lead the children in a grace, ignoring the small girl crawling naked across the table. "Aye," said Willow, snatching up the crawler before she reached the porridge. So they bowed their heads together and thanked the Father and the Mother for their bounty . . . all but the black-haired boy from the forge, who crossed his arms against his chest and sat glowering as the others prayed. Brienne was not the only one to notice. When the prayer was done Septon Meribald looked across the table, and said, "Do you have no love for the gods, son?"

"Not for your gods." Gendry stood abruptly. "I have work to do." He stalked out without a bite of food.

Gendry was at his forge, bare-chested beneath his leather apron. He was beating on a sword as if he wished it were a foe [...]

What would a knight be doing working at a smithy? "You have black hair and blue eyes, and you were born in the shadow of the Red Keep. Has no one ever remarked upon your face?"

"What's wrong with my face? It's not as ugly as yours."

Lord Renly was ahead of her, her sweet smiling king. He was leading her horse through the trees. Brienne called out to tell him how much she loved him, but when he turned to scowl at her, she saw that he was not Renly after all. Renly never scowled. He always had a smile for me, she thought . . . except . . .

While some people chalk up Gendry’s behavior as a result of trauma about what he experienced in the Riverlands, and I don’t deny that is a factor, I don’t believe it’s the only factor because we didn’t see Gendry like this post Harrenhal or even with the Brotherhood in ASOS.  Yes he embodied “ours is the fury” at times and was jealous and bitter, and rude at times as well, but he wasn’t flat out cruel to people, nor filled with rage and vengeance.  The Gendry before Arya was taken would never have led Brienne to Lady Stoneheart for the slaughter after she tried to save everyone in that Inn against Rorge and Biter and co.  We can also see another difference in Gendry:

Lightning cracked to the south as the riders swung down off their horses. For half a heartbeat darkness turned to day. An axe gleamed silvery blue, light shimmered off mail and plate, and beneath the dark hood of the lead rider Brienne glimpsed an iron snout and rows of steel teeth, snarling.

Gendry saw it too. "Him."

While there is no emphasis on the “him” when Gendry sees the Hound’s helm, it’s an abrupt and emotionless statement.  It’s one word without emphasis but it conveys a lot.  Gendry recognizes the Hound’s helm and it’s apparent he’s not happy, thinking that it was indeed the Hound for a minute.  And while I’m trying to avoid discussing symbolism, I just can’t ignore how the lightning that cracked in the south could also be symbolic of Gendry’s true mood.  He is, after all, a bastard Baratheon, connected to the storm, the fury - thunder and lightning - as well as sharing a connection to the god, Thor in our mythology.  This lightning could symbolically be linked to Gendry’s anger and vengeance.  So why does Gendry act like this when he sees who he thinks is the Hound again?  He had no issue with the Hound during his trial by combat, so what changed?  The Hound kidnapped Arya.  And while he knows Arya didn’t die at the Red Wedding, he and the Brotherhood aren’t entirely sure if the Hound sold Arya to the Lannister’s and if she is now Arya Bolton.  So it makes complete sense why he would have issues with the Hound.  In fact I think a lot of this behavior we are seeing from Gendry is the direct result of the Hound kidnapping Arya and not knowing if she’s dead or being brutally raped and tortured in the North.

Why do I think this?  Because this behavior began between Arya being kidnapped in ASOS and Brienne VII AFFC.  Only a few to a handful of months have passed since then.  This, I believe, is the inciting incident.  Another reason why I believe Arya is the reason is because of what he is doing.  He is staying at the Crossroads Inn, one of the last known places Arya was sighted, and he’s helping take care of orphaned children.  Arya took in strays as well and cared for them, like Weasel.  And considering how Gendry in ACOK wanted to leave Weasel and Hot Pie and Lommy behind, it’s interesting to see that he’s helping by taking in strays himself now, as if he thinks he may be able to atone for not saving Arya.  Another reason is because the Brotherhood is actively searching for Arya as well.  She is ever present on their minds.  So yes, I believe part of Gendry’s change has to do with losing Arya, which goes to show how much he really cared about her.  Not to mention (a tiny bit more symbolism, oopsie!), Gendry’s stay at the inn, waiting for Arya to return (I believe Gendry and the BWB are hoping that Arya is alive and will return to the inn) is a romantic aspect to the mythology of Weyland the Smith and his Swan Maiden/Valkyrie, and the aspect about the Brotherhood + Gendry searching the realm for Arya is also a romantic Cinderella motif, hence why I feel Gendry’s behavior here is supposed to have romantic subtext.

*

Extra:  Another interesting aspect that I think foreshadows this future relationship is the meaning of Gendry’s name.  Gendry is a nickname type of surname for a person who has inherited his family estates from his father-in-law, deriving its origin from the Old French word “gendre,” which meant “son-in-law.”  And as we know if Arya and Gendry married when they were older, Arya wouldn’t be taking his name, but he hers, due to her higher status.  So by marrying into the Stark family, he would be inheriting from his father-in-law Ned so to speak, even if it’s just inheriting the surname.

So this is everything I’ve compiled so far about Gendrya, that relies on just their foreshadowing and romantic undertones in the texts we have available but I’m positive I’ll be adding more to this list once TWOW officially releases.  However, I still have a lot more to share that focuses on their symbolism and motifs throughout the story, so I’m definitely not done making Gendrya meta, far from it and I can’t wait to share it with you all!  

And if anyone is interested in Arya’s and by extension Gendrya’s Cinderella motifs, you can find it at this link:  A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes.

[captains-simp]

@tomy5girls

Fhskdhwksnsns I accidently posted this before I was done writing it 🤡🤡🤡

I love Wanda so the first part took me ages to write but writing soft Carol made this either the messiest or best fic I've ever written

"Do I mean that little to you?"

"Was it all a lie?"

"I think I'm inlove with you."

Warnings: cheating and me fucking around with the MCU timeline regarding when characters are introduced

6.7k words

[ masterlist ]

Buy me a coffee ☕

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Your relationship with Wanda had always been far from perfect. It was evenings like that difficult one that made you reflect on just how many red flags you had ignored. You had chosen to live your life with her in blissful ignorance, thinking it would work out.

But as time went on there were things that were harder to ignore. Things that hurt you to notice, both about Wanda and yourself. You thought they would go away. They only ever got worse.

That night was the final straw. You couldn't deny the issues that had been growing like weeds in your relationship for a year when you walked into your appartment to see Wanda's head between another girl's legs.

You didn't feel mad. Or upset. You felt empty. Empty at the long awaited realisation that you had committed to the wrong thing.

You didn't say anything, too shocked to know what to say and not knowing if you would even be capable of stringing a sentence together.

The woman's eyes flickered open and met yours and in that brief moment you saw the familiar look of lust before it turned to fear. She roughly pushed Wanda away as she looked anywhere but you and moved away from your soon to be ex girlfriend.

Wanda gave her a questioning look before whipping her head around to see you after following the woman's uncontaminated glances. She stood up instantly and straightened her shirt while the woman on the couch got dressed.

"You're home." Was the first thing Wanda said. Yeah. You were definetly done.

"I am." Your mouth was dryer than sandpaper but you somehow managed to say that.

"I should..." The woman muttered as she awkwardly glanced between you and Wanda before rushing past you and out the door.

Neither you nor Wanda spoke for a while. You were still looking at her, searching for any signs of...anything. She didn't meet your eye. She made no attempt to defend herself. To defend your relationship. It was downright heartbreaking.

You needed to sit down, but there was no way you were sitting where Wanda had just been. Not that knowing what Wanda had done on that couch had bothered you before.

You left the hallway to wander aimlessly towards your bedroom, knowing you weren't the only one Wanda had fucked in that bed, but you had never had to see that.

She followed you into the room, more trailing really. There was no urgency to her pace and she still didn't speak. Did she really not care?

You sat down on the bed and stared at the floor, mot knowing what to feel. Wanda didn't sit next to you. She made no move to comfort you. You didn't need comfort, not from her. You needed an explanation.

"When did it start?" You wanted to ask how many, but you already knew the truth would hurt too much. The ones you knew about were enough.

"I don't know." Wanda huffed. She sounded frustrated, as though you were wasting her time. That finally pissed you off.

"I deserve an explanation, Wanda." You said clearly, keeping your voice surprisingly steady as you looked up at her. She still didn't look back.

"What's done is done." She said simply.

"Do I mean that little to you?" Tears sprung to your eyes as you said that. Wondering for the first time if Wanda had really ever cared about you.

When Wanda finally looked at you you wished she hadn't. Her eyes were full of pity, watching you like a stray puppy in the rain. She moved forward and sat down next to you on the edge of the bed.

"I loved you." You didn't fail to notice the past tense, it cut through you like a knife. "But I wasn't ready." You had started dating so soon after Ultron. At the time you knew Wanda was grieving badly, you had questioned if it was best for her to dive into a relationship the way she had in that state.

Her self-confidence and driven nature always put your mind to rest. There were red flags before the relationship had even started.

"When you realised that...you didn't have to stay." Your voice wavered slightly.

"I know that." God the pitifulness was even in her voice.

"So why did you?" You held your breath waiting for that an answer. Wanda took a few seconds to consider that, like she wasn't quite sure herself.

"I like being around you." She sounded truthful, but you didn't allow yourself to believe her.

"When you weren't around them." You couldn't help the bitter tone that crept into your voice. Wanda didn't like that. Thinking she actually had any right to be mad at you.

"Oh for the- we had fun, didn't we? It's not like it was a complete waste of our time!" She exclaimed, standing up to face you.

"I wasn't dating you for fun, Wanda. It was so much more than that. I wasn't just someone for you to fuck like all of those girls, I was your girlfriend!" You felt proud at what you had said. You were right. About all of it. You were especially right to use the past tense. Something you didn't think you could manage to do. But that pride was short lived.

"You were a distraction!" You froze. Every fibre of your being turning ice cold from her words. You and Wanda stared at each other for felt like an eternity. She didn't take it back. There was an unreadable expression painted on her face. You knew it wasn't regret.

That's all you ever were to her? A distraction? Everything you thought you had...

"Was it all a lie?" You whispered. You hated the question. You would hate the answer. But you had to know.

Wanda's expression faulted and for a second the pitifulness returned. It was quickly pushed to the side when she spoke again, remaining stoic.

"Call it what you want." You bit the inside of your mouth in an attempt to stop your bottom lip trembling as you finally looked away.

"I'd like you to go. We're done." You whispered, turning away from her.

She left without another word. Her boots thudding against the floor as she walked away in the purposeful way she failed to show you that night.

The door to your appartment clicked shut before you broke down into tears.

*

You had gotten a hotel room that night, unable to stay in your own home. You couldn't lay in your bed without wondering how many people had been in it. Wondering how fewer it would have been if you had just confronted Wanda about it when you first knew. But you didn't, and those months of heartbreak were finally coming to the surface.

You arranged for time off of work once you got back to your appartment. Once that was done you flipped over the couch cushions, retrieved your toasted pop tarts and sat down to watch your comfort show under a bundle of blankets.

It worked for a while. The plates (yes plural) full of pop tarts and the hours of TV took the edge off of the numbness you were feeling. That was until a text from Carol brought you back to reality.

Care Bear: you okay?

You smiled a little. Carol was definetly something that would provide you with comfort, living up to her nickname as always. But she worked with Wanda, and the last thing you wanted was to make her life awkward.

Carol was your best friend. She was Wanda's friend too. That was how you had met. After Ultron Carol had introduced you to Wanda at one of Tony's parties. She had even been a wingwoman for Wanda, you pondered over what Carol would do if she knew Wanda had cheated.

The blonde had always been protective of you. It was sweet. Especially the small acts she never even noticed she did. Like standing closer to you when you were in a room full of self righteous jerks. Always being the one to catch you when you tripped over thin air, even if she was preciously on the other side of the room. Knowing when you were uncomfortable in social situations and casually taking you away from them in the most subtle manner that didn't cause a scene. You had never been able to confide in anyone like you could with her. Not even Wanda, although that was probably because she never shared either.

You: 👍 :)

Care Bear: --_--

Care Bear: Wanda's here

You bit your lip as your thumbs danced over the keyboard; evaluating the best response. You were surprised Wanda was even at the Avenger's headquarters. You had assumed she would be spending her nights with random hookups for a while rather than just one night. She finally had the full freedom to do that but she went back to the Avenger's Headquarters instead?

You: she okay?

Care Bear: I haven't seen her since she went to her room, doesn't seem to be in a talkative mood

Care Bear: you guys okay? 👀

Carol never liked to pry into yours and Wanda's relationship. She always let you confide in her. But in the cases where it was obvious something had happened between you, she checked in on you in the least subtle ways. Carol was smooth in a lot of way, but that was not one of them. It had become a joke between you and Carol ended up embracing it.

You: we broke up

Care Bear: CHSKSBSKSBAMZBMZDBAL

Care Bear: I'm on my way!!

Care Bear: or I can give you space to mope?

You couldn't help but smile at Carol's messages. Your reply was instant. You would love to have Carol binge shows and eat trash food with you.

You: come mope with me :(

Carol confirmed she was on her way less than a minute later and you got up to toast the last of your pop tarts and get a drink.

You weren't sure how soon Carol arrived on your balcony. You were sure very few things had made you happier than the sight of your goofy friend proudly holding up a multipack of poptarts while dressed in her sweatpants and goose t-shirt. The shirt was one you had gifted her for Christmas one year and if she wasn't wearing her Captain Marvel uniform, she was most likely wearing that shirt.

You got up to open the sliding door for her as you suppressed a chuckle. Carol appearing on your balcony without warning had stopped scaring you around the ninth time it happened. That was about the time you stopped trying to convince her to just use the stairs like everyone else.

As soon as she was in your appartment she threw the box to the couch and enveloped you in a bear hug. You wrapped your arms around her middle and closed your eyes as you held onto her. You smiled at the familiar smell of vanilla and cat hairs, being so easily comforted by it.

"Are you okay?" She muttered into your shoulder.

"I am." You said truthfully. You hadn't slept well the previous night, even at the hotel. You had cried for a while. But the next day you had felt better, as though a weight had been lifted from.your chest. You were still hurting, but you would be just fine.

Carol pulled away and rested her hands on your shoulders as she studied you, trying to find any evidence of a lie. Upon finding none she nodded and smiled at you kindly. That was something you loved about Carol. She never pitied you, even when the worst happened. She was sympathetic and supportive and never condescending. 

"What are we watching?" Carol asked as she picked up the box on the couch and took it over to your toaster. She knew you wouldn't want to talk about Wanda yet. She would wait for you to bring it up. Until then, she would act as though you were moping because you were sick rather than the reality.

You replied to her with your comfort show that she had grown familiar with and sat back down on the couch with the blanket over you. Carol soon returned with two plates of pop tarts (it wasn't like you had eaten anything else) and two hot chocolates. What you really craved was some alcohol but you decided to leave that till later on.

Your blonde friend sat back down next to you when you lifted the blanket for her. She instantly brought her legs up under her and put her arm around you. You easily leant into her and rested your head on her shoulder before she leant her own head on yours.

Neither of you spoke for a while. Carol occasionally laughed at something on the TV and you found yourself smiling at the sound of her laughter more than the show. It had always been contagious.

Wait. Should you of been smiling that much for someone who had walked in on their girlfriend cheating less than 24 hours prior? Probably not. But then again. You had seen it coming. All the signs prior had softened the blow.

"You alright?" Carol asked again as a whisper as she pretended to keep most of her focus on the show.

You hummed in response and fiddled with the edge of the blanket for a while until you spoke.

"She cheated." You muttered. You could feel Carol freeze. Her whole body tensed up making her as stiff as a plank. Her shoulder wasn't as comfy when that happened. "But it's okay." You assured.

Carol took ahold of both your empty plates and placed them on the table before turning her body towards you so she could see you better.

"That's never something that can just be 'okay', y/n." Carol said in a gentle tone.

"I know but...I already knew before... before I saw." You could hear Carol breathing heavily as you avoided her gaze.

"Christ, y/n." She whispered. "Why didn't you ever say anything?"

"I don't know I just...I guess I thought if I ignored it it would go away." Upon reflection you really weren't sure why you never addressed it.

Carol didn't say anything at that. You glanced up nervously to see her looking deep in thought, trying to understand what you meant. Carol was never one to hope things would go away. Her life as a hero had taught her to comfront every obstacle she faced.

"And you saw her..."

"Yeah, I did. I thought I could handle knowing what she was doing behind my back but actually seeing it...it was hard." Carol breathed out hard as though she had been holding her breath and pulled you into another of her infamous bear hugs. You wrapped your arms around her again and squeezed your eyes shut.

The blonde gently stroked your back in soothing circles until you moved away, not wanting to but knowing Carol wouldn't move away first and Lord knows how long you would have ended up staying like that.

"And you're really feeling okay about it?" Carol asked with a slightly furrowed brow, reading your face for any trace of a lie as you spoke.

"Yeah." You smiled assuringly. You didn't feel like telling Carol the rest. About how you had only ever been a distraction to Wanda. But there was something else you wanted to admit. "It was for the best." You started. Carol could tell something more was coming so she sat up a little straighter to show you you had her full attention. "Even before I figured out I what she was doing things just didn't feel entirely right with Wanda. She was great, but it always felt like something was missing." Carol didn't show any reaction to that. She seemed surprisingly stoic, like she was trying to suppress something. You figured it was probably just that she was thinking about what you had said.

"Enough about all that though." You said when Carol hadn't spoken. "You never got to tell me about your super amazing mission last month." Carol's eyes lit up at the mention of her successful mission.

There were some missions she wasn't allowed to talk about. Some she could. And some she could eventually talk about. Her last one was the latter and once she was clear to tell you about it she did, in great detail and the most animated way. It had been one of her best missions and you were incredibly proud. But you were interrupted by a false alarm at the Headquarters before she could finish.

You loved hearing about Carol's work that she was passionate about. You loved hearing how she could handle herself out there. Recalling some of those missions put your mind to rest when you hadn't heard from her in a long time. And you needed the distraction. Carol knew that.

You listened to Carol intently with a smile but the stress and upset of the previous events had you suddenly feeling very tired. Your eyelids began to feel very heavy and your head became empty as you felt yourself drifting off to sleep.

*

You woke up in your own bed, beyond comfused. You couldn't remember getting into bed or falling asleep. Still in a half asleep state, you tried to recall the events of the night until you remembered Carol. Had she carried you to bed? Had she left?

Your heart ached at the thought that your best friend wasn't there. Refusing to believe it, you wrapped your duvet tightly around you and trudged out of your room.

She was sleeping soundly on your couch with the blanket you had been curled up together under. You smiled at the sight of her looking so peaceful, taking a moment to consider yourself the luckiest person alive to have a friend as caring as Carol.

You came back to your sense when you realised how creepy it felt to be standing over your best friend and staring at her sleep, not to mention how freaked out she would be if she awoke to your duvet covered silhouette. But you didn't want to leave her side.

Carol stirred when she felt you kneeling on the couch. Countless nights of sleeping next to her had taught you she was a fairly light sleeper. You were thankful that she wasn't startled by you kneeling over her as you adjusted your blanket.

"Y/n?" She muttered as she rubbed her eyes to try to see you better.

"Go back to sleep." You murmmered back before laying down on her stomach and holding the duvet over you both.

You felt so at home in her arms. She didn't protest to you and instead wrapped her arms around your back and closed her eyes again with a content smile.

You rested your head in the crook of her neck and soon drifted back to sleep. Carol, on the other hand, struggled to sleep for a while. You had slept in the same bed before, countless times, but you had never been so close together when you did. It had never felt so intimate.

It was making the butterflies that had started arriving years ago whenever you were around dance around happily. As much as Carol tried to ignore them, her feelings for you only ever grew.

*

Over the next few days Carol visited you a lot. You had always been happy to spend time with your friend, but in those days you appreciated her company even more. In fact you were pretty sure you craved it.

She checked in on you often and stayed the night when you asked her to. You tried not to be too clingy with your friend, knowing she had a busy life and a lot of responsibilities to take care of and you didn't want to keep her away from her hero life.

It made the moments you could spend with her even better. You had always had that thought process with Carol, but it was enhanced since the night you slept ontop of her on the couch - something she never commented on.

You mainly spent your time together in your appartment, but on that day Carol had another idea.

"I promise it's safe." Carol grinned at you as you looked over your balcony for the umpteenth time in the last five minutes. You never really realised how high the sixth floor was until your friend was encouraging you to jump off your balcony with her.

"You need to get out of that appartment." Carol insisted.

"I could go on a walk to do that! You know...like a normal person." Carol laughed at your defiance to try what she had offered.

"Just five minutes, you'll love it." Carol said genuinely as she took ahold of your hand. You had never realised how her hands seemed to fit perfectly in your own before. You smiled at the sensation of a slight tingling in your hand upon contact with Carol's.

"Ease off." You giggled, shaking Carol's hand.

"I'm not doing anything." Carol protested earnestly, giving you a comfused look. You gulped and tried not to think about what the feeling was. "If you don't like it I'll bring you right back, you're safe with me - the Strongest Avenger." She said with a cocky grin, she had heard someone say it once and it went straight to her head. You rolled your eyes at her with a smile then paused, biting your lip as you considered the offer properly.

"Okay." You breathed out.

"Okay?" Carol asked with an excited grin.

"What the hell, sure!" You exclaimed. Carol chuckled and went to stand behind you. The material of her suit pressed against your bare arms and made you shiver slightly, you assumed from nerves. Carol had told you you didn't need to wear a jacket or coat, claiming her powers would keep you warm.

She wrapped her arms around your waist to hold you tightly against her and you gripped onto her forearms, not being able to stop yourself smiling.

"You ready?" Carol asked as the yellow swirls started to surround Carol and heat up your back and stomach. Blue and red glimmers occasionally appeared amongst the swirls and you tried not to get too distracted by the beauty of Carol's powers.

The next thing you knew your feet were slowly leaving the ground until the tips of your shoes were an inch away from the floor. You felt weightless and couldn't help but laugh a little at the absurdity that you were floating on thin air.

"Okay?" Carol checked.

"Okay." You confirmed.

As soon as the word left your mouth you felt like you were being catapulted through the air. Wind whipped your hair across your face and everything was a blur. All you could focus on was the whirling colours and Carol's strong grip on your waist.

You were going directly upwards for a few seconds until Carol eased you both forwards slightly, angled so you could finally take in your surroundings.

The speed at which you had been going to get so high in such a short amount of time was insane. It was impossible to know exactly how high up you were, all you knew was the faint clouds in the nighttime sky were closer to you than the ground. A lot closer.

The small gaps amongst the thin layers of clouds gave a glimpse at the stars that shimmered above you. The view below was just as breath-taking.

The city was lit up by the lights emitting from each building, each playing a part in the beautiful display. The lights shimmered and twinkled just as the stars did, the two very different worlds having the same beauty from such a height.

As Carol leveled herself out more you felt your legs drop infront of you and away from Carol. Your grip on the hero tightened in response to the new position.

"Do you trust me?" Carol asked carefully. You nodded, not knowing what your friend was planning but knowing you would go along with whatever she had planned.

One moment Carol had her reassuring grip on your waist, guiding you through the night air, and the next she was gone. You plummeted through the air in an instant, a silent scream escaping your throat. You squeezed your eyes shut tightly, not wanting to see the world spinning as you fell, but as soon as you were falling you were safe again.

You landed on Carol's back surprisingly lightly. You blinked a few times in shock, not understanding what had happened until you realised that Carol was flying horizontally and the position allowed you both to have a much better view and in a better position.

You sighed with a grin as stared down at the city in awe, your eyes occasionally flickering up to the dark sky. You rested your head in the crook of Carol's neck and wrapped your arms around her front, easing into her as easily as you had that night on the couch.

It was the happiest you had felt in such a long time. You felt safe with Carol, even from such a dangerous height and the whole event had you feeling more relaxed and content than you could ever remember.

A warmth spread over your body as the pair of you gently flew over the city. While you wanted to believe it was from Carol's powers, you knew deep down that that wasn't it. Because you had had that warmth for Carol on the coldest nights, you had had it when she was on the other side of the room, it had been there for as long as you could remember. And it was only getting stronger.

*

It didn't take anymore encouragement to get back into your usual way of life without any issues. Thanks to Carol there didn't seem to be much difference. The times that you would have been spending with Wanda you spent with Carol. She knew you were okay and that you didn't need her to mope around with you anymore - not that you had really ended up doing that together much. But you wanted her with you; she seemed to want to be with you too.

While you had slept in the same bed multiple times since you had on the couch, you never cuddled close to her like you did before. You knew that if you did that warmth would return. You knew, deep down, what it meant. However you had no idea if Carol's feelings for you were anything more than platonic, it was a line you weren't willing to cross, so you pushed those feelings to the side as much as you could.

Despite your efforts, those mornings you woke up next to your friend you found that you had your head resting on her shoulder or an arm hooked around her waist or one of your legs tangled with hers. She never seemed to mind, in fact one time you could have sworn you saw her eyes drop when you separated yourself from her. You told yourself you were just seeing things that weren't there.

So one night when Carol casually invited you to an Avenger's party you almost choked on your popcorn. You had always gotten along with the team - ever since the mix up on the mission that had led you to meet them and Carol. You had been to a fair few of those parties in the time you had been friends, but that party would be different.

Carol had assured you that no one else on the team knew exactly what had happened between you and Wanda. Your friend knew you didn't want people knowing and Wanda wasn't about to announce it, all the team knew was that you had broken up.

"You don't have to." Carol said quickly. "Wanda will be there." She informed in unimportant fact kind of way. "I just thought it would be nice for you to see everyone again. They miss you."

"They do?" Even thought you had known the Avengers for years, you still couldn't help but be a insecure before seeing them. You didn't have any powers or training. You always wondered what you could possibly bring to their table. Those worries were always put to rest once you were settled in, the smiles on their faces and laughter they emitted when you saw them was hard to fake. Besides, it wasn't like they had any reason to fake it.

You very quickly stopped being insecure when it came to Carol though. You had spent so much time together and knew each other so well that you never worried what she thought of you. She reminded you often of the traits she loved so much, it had been something you had started.

"I'd love to go." You smiled at Carol then went back to the screen. You never liked to make things awkward with exes. It wasn't like you and Wanda were going to become best buddies any time soon, but you were determined to be civil. You just hoped she would be too.

"Great." Carol concluded after studying you for a bit, wanting to be absolutely sure that it was what you wanted. "I'll pick you up at eight on Saturday."

"It's in two days?" You exclaimed, turning to Carol with a horrified expression.

"It is?" Carol confirmed in a not-too-sure tone, not understanding what the big deal was.

"Jeeze, Carol, give a girl a better warning next time." You huffed as you leant back against the couch. The blonde chucked next to you and muttered an apology.

Carol continued watching the film she had put on while you planned when and where you would get an outfit. You knew the dress code of those parties, that wouldn't be an issue, but part of you wanted to match with Carol.

"What are you going to wear?" You asked casually.

"Haven't decided yet."

Damn. You would just have to wing it.

*

Carol knocked on your door at exactly eight o'clock on the night of the party. You were startled at the sound of it at first, not expecting her to actually use the door for once.

You opened the door with a wide grin on your face but felt as though you had the breath knocked out of you when you saw your friend. She was wearing a tailored dark y/f/c suit with a neat white blouse. Her hair was slightly tossled and hung loose around her shoulders. It all went perfectly with her familiar warm smile. She looked beautiful.

Carol's outfit was strikingly similar to your own y/f/c dress that was a much lighter tone but the similarity was still there.

"H-hey." You stuttered as you continued to take in her outfit.

"Hey yourself." Carol grinned smugly, not oblivious to your stare.

"You look...really...amazing." You couldn't help but say. It was the truth.

"You look really amazing too." Carol said a lot more easily than you did. You giggled and stepped out of your appartment and locked it.

"Milady." Carol said in a terrible English accent as she offered her arm for you to hold.

"Milord." You went along and put your arm easily through hers before you started walking down the hallway, unable to contain your smile at the childish and loveable act.

*

When you arrived at the party you were bombarded with people wanting to talk to Carol. You had grown used to that, but it was still a downer when you wanted to stay by Carol, at least for a while.

Eventually, you were summoned away from your friend by the Avengers who were eager to catch up with you after so long.

"How've you been?" Nat asked with a welcoming hug as she outstretched her arms I'm an open hug.

"I've been pretty great." You replied honestly as you hugged her tightly. There was no one you were closer to than Carol, but Nat was someone you considered a friend without a doubt.

"What about you?" You asked genuinely as you pulled away.

"Same old." Nat smiled in her familiar way she saved for those she knew rather than the strangers in the room she had to play nice with.

You talked to Nat for a while as though nothing had changed. You hadn't seen Wanda and you had no idea where she was and no one mentioned her. You were thankful there wasn't any tension around the group. They all talked to you in the same way they always had with the exception of them asking about Carol more. You kept missing their knowing smiles hidden behind their drinks.

After a while you and Tony had your own convosation and it seemed as though being around the others was the only kind of self control he had when it came to refraining talking about relationships. As soon as you two were left alone he didn't hesitate to start saying what he had been thinking.

"Hey, don't get me wrong, you and Wanda seemed great, but I always thought it would be you and Carol who would end up together." Tony said as though he was voicing a passing thought.

"Me and Carol?" You tried to ask smoothly. Admittedly you had been thinking a lot about what it would be like to date Carol. You couldn't seem to stop your mind wandering at night to imagining scenarios with her in which you were dating. It always made you smile so your cheeks hurt until you reminded yourself it wasn't real. Carol would never see you that way, would she?

"Well I didn't see it until Nat pointed it out. Then we actually all kind of assumed you were dating before you and Wanda became a thing." Tony continued in his casual manner before taking another sip of his drink.

"Really?" You looked over at Nat who was talking to Carol. Nat seemed as though she was trying to convince Carol to do something because the blonde had the conflicked look upon her face that always appeared when she had been thinking long and hard about something.

"You certainly acted like it." Tony snickered as he followed your line of sight. As if on cue, Carol and Nat glanced your way and a heat began to grow along your neck at the feeling of embarrassment at being caught staring.

Nat had a small smirk playing along her lips while Carol mirrored your expression guiltily.

You missed Tony and Nat exchanging knowing smiles. You missed the way Carol's cheeks became tinted pink too.

"Excuse me." Tony said as he put a hand gently below your shoulder before walking off in the direction Nat had also departed too.

You smiled at Carol and wandered towards her place on the balcony, glad that she turned around entirely to face you. Unfortunately the blush on her cheeks had faded by the time you would have been close enough to spot it.

"Enjoying the party?" Carol asked as you stepped out onto the balcony and leant against the railing.

"I am." You said certainly. The blonde turned to copy your position so you could both gaze out at the buildings below you. The view you had gotten with Carol was undefeated, but the Avengers tower provided something special too.

"I told you they missed you." Carol grinned as she nudged your side with her elbow.

"Yeah." You blushed and peered down at the railing.

"I don't know about you but my shoes are killing me and I think I've talked to enough of these guests to bore me to death twice over." Carol sighed with a childish smile. You grinned back and nodded.

"You want to stay at mine tonight?" You asked hopefully.

"I'd love to." Carol's smile grew as you held her arm out for you to link your arm through again.

"Milady." The hero said with the same terrible English accent.

"Milord." You mocked as you put your arm through hers easily.

Maybe Tony was onto something.

*

That night when Carol took the same place she always did in her home that was as much hers as it was yours, you couldn't focus on the movie playing on the screen. You couldn't focus on anything except the blonde beside you.

You had your head resting on her shoulder and everytime you moved to get your drink and turned back to her your eyes instantly strayed to her lips, images of kissing her filling your head.

You remembered the night she moped with you after your breakup and how she had been the best friend you could ask for. Except you didn't want Carol to be just your friend. You wanted her to be more.

Your mind had been racing since since party, considering what Tony had said to you and how true it was. You and Carol really had always acted like a couple. You had never thought anything of it, even when Carol did it considerably less when you were dating someone.

Because you had been in more than just one relationship in the time you been friends with Carol. None of them ever felt right. You always thought there was something missing. Something that the next person would fix. No one ever could though. Because what you had been looking had been right infront of you the whole time.

All those feelings that had come bubbling to the surface the couple of weeks prior, they had been there all along. Christ, you were such an idiot.

"Carol..." You whispered, more afraid of what you were about to say than anything before. You wanted to back out. You didn't want to mess up what you had with Carol, but you had never been so sure of something than you were for your feelings for Carol in your entire life.

"Yeah?" She said softly.

"I think..." You held your breath and you could have sworn Carol did too. "I think I'm inlove with you." The blonde froze for a solid minute. Neither of you spoke. Tears threatened to come to the surface as you realized what you had done.

Eventually, Carol put her bowl of popcorn down and slowly turned towards you. You didn't dare meet her eye, instead playing with the edge of the blanket over you both and hoping it would trigger a sink hole beneath you.

"You do?" She whispered. You nodded and bit your lip in an attempt to hold back your tears. Carol lifted your chin gradually so you were looking at her. She had an unreadable expression.

"I love you too." You half laughed half sighed in relief as a smile spread across your face and the tears finally sprung free.

"Yeah?" You choked out. Carol instantly cupped your face and wiped your tears off of your cheeks as she smiled back at you.

"Yeah!" She giggled. "I've wanted to say that for so long." She admitted in a rush.

"Why didn't you? It could have saved us so much time!" You exclaimed and gently punched her arm.

"I was scared, even with Nat trying to convince me to say something." Carol explained, it was her turn to look away in embarrassment but you quickly pulled her back the way she did.

"That's really sweet, I'm here now." You assured genuinely.

Carol smiled back at you as her eyes glanced down at you lips. You grinned at the obviousness of what she was thinking and bravely closed the gap between you. After that prompt Carol eagerly met you half way and smiled into your long overdue kiss. Her lips were so so soft and moved against like a perfected dance. When you pulled away for air you rested your forehead against hers and breathed heavily with a heart filled smile.

"We have to do that more often." Carol said as her hands landed on your waist.

"We absolutely do." You agreed before pulling her into another kiss, engraving the memory of that night into your mind forever.

[letarasstuff]

Minimal Loss - Maximal Stress

(A/N): This was requested by an anon and plays in the intern universe. It’s based on 4x3 “Mininal Loss”. I didn’t follow the exact plot, but the quint essence is there (you’ll see what I mean). I hope you enjoy it.

Summary: An intern goes along on a seemingly undangerous case with Emily and Spencer on a ranch under the lead of Benjamin Cyrus. What could go possibly wrong (well, everything ig)?

Warnings: Mentions of child abuse, guns, vomit, swear words, ususal Criminal Mind stuff

Wordcount: 2.9k

✨Masterlist✨ ________________________________

“Do you guys really think it’s a good idea to bring a child to an interview about child abuse?” Agent Lunde asks skeptically while steering the car towards the ranch, where the allegions originated from.

“(Y/N) is our intern and we thought she has to make some experience in the field and since this is the most peaceful case you can find within the BAU, it’s her opportunity”, Emily defends the team’s decision.

“Also, she is nearly the same age as the girls, so it’s easier for them to open up to her and she is incredibly bright, meaning she can help us deducing a profile”, Spencer adds. The teenager doesn’t acknowledge anything they say, too engrossed in listening to One Direction over her bluetooth earbuds.

Soon the quartet arrives at the Saptarian ranch. “I’m looking for Benjamin Cyrus.” “You found him”, answers the man, who sits in front of a chapel.

“He really is nicely placed. I feel like I looked like this in my math classes. I was like beautiful decoration, but had no use”, (Y/N) whispers to Emily. She in turn has a look of confusion on her face. “You aced math, you graduated with an A+ in it.” “Just because I have good grades doesn’t mean I’m not stupid. I mean, I’m educated, but stoopid.”

A little later she sits across from a blonde girl named Jessica, asking her questions about the 911 call. Her mother continuously steps into that conversation.

“Jessica, can you tell me, if anyone here were ever touched inappropriately?” “Is this really necessary? You are a child yourself, shouldn’t ask one of the other agents the questions?” Slowly the teenager’s patience is wearing down and Spencer can definitely see that from five meters away.

“Ma’am, with all due respect, but I’m perfectly capable of conducting this interview, if you stop interrupting me. I may be young, which doesn’t stand in my way of being an intern for CPS and still knowing my way around, so please step to me colleagues or something and let me do my job.” Hesitantly the mother gives the two girls their space.

As soon as she is out of earshot, Jessica begins to explain. “Nobody is touched in a way they shouldn’t be touched. Or is it wrong for a wife to share a bed with her husband.”

(Y/N) remembers Emily telling her to not judge anything anyone of the girls will say. But damn it, this girl is really hard not to judge.

“Wait wait wait. Let me get this straight: You are simping for that walking quote machine?” Okay, maybe she is judging. But just a little bit.

“If simping means deeply in love then yes, I am simping for Benjamin Cyrus, my husband.” At this point the other three agents get closer again. “Jessica, the state of Colorado demands parental consent. You aren’t married to him unles-'' The black haired woman cuts the young doctor off. “She did give consent.”

(Y/N) can barely contain the unsurprised “surprised” gasp leaving her mouth. But it would have been cut short nonetheless, since sudden gunfire erupted outside the school building.

Fairly quickly everybody is evacuated through the tunnels. As Cyrus tells the cult members to trust in god, the teenager turns to the agents. “This much to it’s safe for me here. Didn’t anybody check for weapons or something?” Flabbergasted because of the whole situation Spencer answers. “Yes, Garcia checked with the authorities and nothing was suspicious.”

Suddenly Lunde takes all the courage she has (maybe because a teenager she brought into this is in immediate danger like all the other kids) and goes up with the cult leader to speak to the shooting law enforcement officers. Shortly after the other three get the message of her death.

But they don’t have any time to think about her, since they all are shoved into the chapel.

While Cyrus holds a speech about trust in god in dangerous and trying times like this the BAU in Quantico learns about the shooting through the tv news report.

“HOTCH”, Morgan yells up to the Unit Chief’s office, probably giving everybody else a heart attack. Alarmed Aaron storms out into the bullpen followed by Rossi, who is attracted by the tumult. “Aren’t Prentiss and Reid on that ranch?” Derek asks, his eyebrows furrowing in worry.

Squinting at the screen, horror etches on the other agent’s face. “(Y/N) is also there”, he says, realizing that they sent a minor with zero field experience into a lava hot situation.

Suddenly the whole bullpen’s phones ring, which results in Hotch barking his first commands.

After a nightflight to Colorado the team sets up at the crime scene.

“Dave, I was appointed to determine the primary negotiator”, Aaron tells him after he pulls him to the side. “It makes sense. I trained most of the people here, if you want me I can give you a few recommendations.” But the Unit Chief shakes his head. “No, I want you to be the negotiator in this.”

Now it’s Rossi’s turn to shake his head. “Aaron, I can’t do it, I’m too emotionally involved.” “So are all of us and why should I take the student if I can have the teacher?” The older one sighs in resignation and accepts the offer. They don’t have the team nor reccourses for any mistakes in this.

As he goes to prepare for his task at hand, Hotch hears a man complaining loudly. “I demand to talk to know why I wasn't told that the FBI was sending undercover agents into the Saptarian ranch?” “The only thing you are in position to demand is a lawyer”, he says while stepping closer to the scene.

“Who the hell are you?” The man spits out into his direction. “I’m Aaron Hotchner, Unit Chief. I’m the guy who is gonna tell the Attorney General of the United States whether to charge you with obstructing a federal investigation or negligent homicide.” “You can’t talk to me like that”.

Upon closing the little bit of space between both of them, Aaron stares him down. “Get off my crime scene.” Just a few seconds of the intense and pissed Hotch Stare are enough to chase that man down to his car and go on his way to Coward Island.

Meanwhile the first contact is made, Emily and Spencer tell (Y/N) in hushed voices what the situation means. “There are three groups here. The leader, in this case Cyrus. The hard die hard believers, the goons of him, and the followers”, Spencer explains.

“In a case like this we go for minimal loss. We try to get as many of the followers out as possible, because the rest won’t give up as long as they can breathe. At first we go with one or two people, children mostly, then with smaller groups and in the end we get out as many of these people we can. Soon, there will be the first supply delivery from our team, but it’s gonna be bugged, which means we know they are listening. Understood?” Emily adds.

Aside from the knowledge that there is a great possibility that they won’t come out alive of this one, (Y/N) is pretty calm. “Honestly, it’s pretty extra here. I mean I can’t even, look at the walls and the whole pseudo decoration. Why would anybody choose this willingly? But yeah, I understand.” Seeing that these phrases are a kind of a coping mechanism, the two agents aren’t too concerned about her right now. I mean, of course they are pretty much on edge because they all are in a hostage situation, but since the teenager doesn’t seem to be on the verge of a breakdown she has to be fine.

“Is there anything you want to know?” The black haired woman asks, stroking the younger one’s hair out of her face. “No, not right now. This is anything but basic, but I’ll hit you up if something shoots into my mind.”

When Rossi comes in to hand make the first delivery, he looks beyond worried. It seems like he got years older in the span of the last 24 hours. As he glances through the rows of people, he subtly acknowledges their presence and well being.

“How do we know this will be nothing like Waco?” (Y/N) asks out of the blue as all the members get a cup of wine. Surprised Emily turns towards her. “You know about Waco?” “Duh? I told you, I’m educated. So, how do we kno-” “And together we drank the poison.” “Oh well, I guess we do now. It’s nearly iconic how bad his acting is.” Now both of the agents look confused at her.

“What? Didn’t I tell you that I was a theater kid? Also, his goons are writing the reactions down, so it’s just a test to know who to separate from the group and who not.” Even in a situation like this a girl in a red and black flannel over a white graphic tee - it is a Doctor Who Tardis - astounds them.

Not long after this, the three of them are shoved into a small room, which looks sort of like an office.

“Which one of you is it?” Cyrus asks. Confused Prentiss, Reid and the intern look at him. When nobody speaks up he pulls out his gun. “One of you is an FBI agent. So who is it?”

In the short silence he points his weapon at (Y/N). “Oof. Dude, what the fu-” “She is a child. The FBI doesn’t recruit children. But she is a good leverage. So, if neither of you reveals their identity, I will blow her brain out.” This is the final point for the teenager to slowly freak out.

“It’s me. I’m the FBI agent”, Emily confesses. Seeing the young girl with panic in her eyes sets something off in her. Roughly she is taken away by two big guys.

“No no no! This can’t be right. Nobody of us is from the feds. It’s not her, you stupid piece of boom-” With a swift motion of his gun Cyrus knocks her out.

“Damn, this is an annoying one. I don’t know how you can even take her seriously.”

(Y/N) wakes up half an hour later in the chapel draped over two stools with her head in Spencer’s lap. He strokes her hair while his mind is running non stop looking for a solution to this situation. A groan tells him that she is awake.

“Hey, how are you feeling?” The young doctor asks in a soft voice. “If good means your head feels like it’s dancing samba without me, then I’m good.”

He smiles. “We are going to get out here, soon. I convinced Cyrus that we are on his side. He also won’t hurt Emily any further. I saw her earlier, he held a speech. She is fine, just a bit roughen up.”

To lie to the girl like that feels wrong to Reid, but he can see signs of a concussion by her behavior and doesn’t want to worry her more than she already is.

Three o’clock rolls closer and closer, which makes both of them more nervous. Because of the lack of communication they don’t know the tactic the team will use to come in. They can only hope that they all come out alive and in one piece.

Since they are in the chapel, their attention is solely on the cult leader. They don’t even notice all the women and children leaving. As (Y/N) and Spencer spot Cyrus with the remote for detonating the explosives, she mumbles “Let’s get this bread”.

When the leader sees Spencer trying to convince one of the die hard believers that he has a choice to change his mind, he punches the young doctor so hard in the gut that even (Y/N), whose vision is slightly blurred, feels the pain he endures.

“Hey Cyrus”, she calls out, “TBH I think all the shit you are doing here didn’t pass my vibe check. Also, the whole system is pretty whack.”

“You are a child, you don’t know anything. If god doesn’t want me to do any of this, he would stop me.” As Cyrus cocks his gun towards Spencer, Derek runs in and shoots him in the chest twice.

(Y/N) crosses her arms over her chest, says “Ok, Boomer” and rolls her eyes.

“Are you ok, princess?” Morgan asks, going over to her and examining the wound on the side of her head. “Never felt better now that there are two Derek Morgans to protect me.” Concerned he goes to say something else, but is cut short by Spencer shouting “RUN!”.

A look behind them shows Jessica short circuiting upon her husband’s death and grabbing the remote.

When the explosion erupts, Emily looks terrified at the remains of the chapel.

“Morgan! Reid! (Y/N)!” She shouts, followed by the other members and their calls after the three. A certain fear captures every single one of them. If only one of them is- No. Nobody can go through this thought. They are going to be fine. They are alive and-

“Thank god”, JJ breathes as she spots three limping figures. They slowly approach the group of four. “EMILY!” The teenager shouts relieved, though a little loud for the proximity between them. “SPENCER WOULDN’T REALLY TELL ME HOW YOU ARE! YOU LOOK TERRIBLE! THANK HARRY STYLES YOU ARE FINE!” Yes, the explosion definitely messed all of their hearings up, since Morgan and Reid also speak with the same volume.

Emily hugs her. “I’m okay. But you need to get checked out.” But the teenager vehemently shakes her head as she hugs Aaron. “I DON’T NEED TO”, when she sees her teammate’s faces, she reduces her loudness. “I am ok. But Spencer, he got a good blow to his guts. I think the Queen in England even felt that vibe check.”

As Derek escorted the young doctor to one of the awaiting ambulances, JJ also gently stirs the girl in the same direction. “Just let a doctor look over your head, it looks like a nasty cut and believe me, you want to get this checked out, Honey.” “But Jayje-” She begins to complain, but gets cut off by bile rising up her throat. In the next moment (Y/N) kneels on the floor, letting out anything she got in her system over the course of the past few days.

“I think this is nothing your body should do, Bambi”, Rossi adds up. Unwillingly the intern goes with the blonde mother to the EMTs. They decide to have a doctor looking over her and getting her x-rays done at the hospital.

A few hours and uncountable complaints from (Y/N) later, the team is back on the jet on their way home. She thanked Emily in a heartfelt moment in the hospital shortly after she got pain killers, which made her loopy, for saving her life by putting her own on the line by exposing her identity. Even Prentiss had tears in her eyes as she saw the young and innocent girl so frayed by the just occured events.

Unusual for Rossi, he takes a seat on the sofa, petting his lap as (Y/N) sits beside him. With pleasure she lays her head onto it, cuddling closer into the fuzzy blanket she got from Morgan.

A few minutes into the flight, Rossi just got into describing the interviews he conducted with Ted Bundy, Aaron motions him to make space. David excuses himself with the reasoning of getting a cup of tea for her.

“I’m sorry”, Hotch says as he runs his hands through his youngest employee’s hair. He is careful to not mess with the bandage she has on the side of her head. Confused (Y/N) looks up to him. “What for?” “For sending you into a situation, where you got seriously hurt.”

This makes the girl sit up, though her world once again begins to spin. “Aaron Hotchner, I hope you don’t mean that. You nor anybody else knew that this was going to happen. You only wanted for me to get as much experience as possible while this internship lasts and I tell you, with that story I’ll go viral on TikTok. Just because I got a medium severe concussion and a wound, which hopefully will leave a badass scar, doesn’t mean you have to apologize. But you can do me one favor.” “Anything.” “When I fall asleep, please make sure I don’t choke on my own vomit. The doctor told me it could happen, that’s why I am not allowed to fall asleep unsupervised. But I haven’t slept in three days and I think I'm beginning to feel uncomfy because of that.”

Smiling softly Hotch nods and lets the teenager take her original place in his lap. Minutes later she is fast asleep. But one thing is certain: As soon as she wakes up and feels any better, she is going to tell everybody who wants to listen about the one time where she got blown up by a fifteen years old girl, who was married to a cult leader. And nobody is gonna believe her tea. Except for Penelope, who greets (Y/N) with a hug and the promise to never let her out of her eyesight.

All works:

@agentshortstacc

Criminal Minds:

@averyhotchner @mggsprettygirl

Spencer Reid:

@calm-and-doctor

[suicidalslasher]

𝒖𝒏𝒍𝒆𝒂𝒔𝒉 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒃𝒆𝒂𝒔𝒕 ➤ 𝑱𝒂𝒔𝒐𝒏 𝑫.

Nothing but porn w/o a plot. There actually is a plot and if anybody is confused on the ending, I can explain but it’s more porn than anything.... so, here you go, you filthy animals. 

WARNINGS: choking, degradation, use of a gun (brief), a lot of dirty talk... of course. Oral, m on f / f on m. Fingering. Squirting. (brief.)

!! Female reader. Readers pronouns are she/her. !!

ps: if you enjoy my content and have a dollar or two to spare, here’s my ko-fi. 

“You don’t know me, but something terrible is going to happen. That boy you call your boyfriend isn't a man at all, in fact, he's a monster and he's only using you to kill you, for your blood to be on his hands, for him to be the cause of your death. He's twisted, that way.  He's not as nice as he portrays himself to be. If  I were you  — and once upon a time ago, I was in your shoes, I was you —  I'd get the hell out of that relationship and quickly."          Jason looked up from the letter his girlfriend,  (Y/N), had received in her locker. His lips are pressed together tightly into a white slash, his jaw clenched and in a sharp tone, he asks, "So.... what? You're going to break up with me over a  letter that a complete stranger put in your locker?" He sneered, grinding his teeth together before he stood up, moving the chair back as he does so. 

The piece of furniture loudly squeaks against the floor, making (Y/N) grimace and flinch at the obnoxious  noise. It's not the only thing in the room being annoying, though.    "No." (Y/N) answers,  giving an eyeroll in return to his question as she folds her arms across her chest.  "I want to see the monster you supposedly are, that's all." She adds.  "This isn't the first or even the second letter that says those words. There's been an endless amount and quite frankly, my beloved J.D, I'm suspicious  on what it exactly means."  "You believe the notes, do you?" He questions,  stepping closer to his girlfriend, eyebrow arched as he waits for her response.  "I do..... or I don't. That's up to you to decide for me. So, enlighten me, Jason, are you a monster in disguise or are you not and someone's simply playing a trick on not only me but the both of us?"  "What is it you're trying to do to me, (Y/N)?"  "Oh my God, fuck me like you hate me, fuck me like the monster that you supposedly are, according to the pieces of paper I receive every day.. I want to see whether or not it's true."  Jason is silent, as if he had gone mute. He was standing inches away from her face, doing - saying - nothing. Only... staring, like he was a starved predator and she was his only prey, his first feast of the day.  

Though, she knows the air conditioner isn't on, and neither are the windows open, (Y/N) shivers as if it were cold. But it was his eyes  that were frosty. His eyes were two lifeless pools of abyss-black, an ice-cold stare he was giving. Finally, he speaks for what feels like ages since he last talked, although it had only been a minute or two since he did, "I hate you. Despise you, actually.  Don't even know why we continue to have this fucking conversation. You're seriously so fucking annoying," He spat.  (Y/N) wasn't sure if he meant the words or not, either way, it did feel like a stab in the chest.  She purses her lips together and she goes to say something but before she could, his hand is wrapped around her throat and her back is pushed up against the wall.  "I should strangle you."  "Is that a promise?" She gasped out.  "Once I start, I might not be able to stop." He informs, clicking his tongue against the root of his mouth.  His grip, however, gets tighter and as fucked up as it may sound, (Y/N) grows wetter, she squeezes  her thighs tighter together and has to bite back a moan at the feeling of his hand around her throat. "I don't care what you do," (Y/N) replied truthfully, voice low and groggy, as if she had just woken up. "Just fuck me."  "My pleasure."  To her disappointment, Jason  drops his hand down at his side before gesturing to the floor with a motion of his finger.  "Get on your knees, this cock isn't going to suck itself."  (Y/N) is more than happy to oblige as she crashed to her knees,  quickly, undoing  his belt buckle and unbuttoning  his jeans.  In only a matter of seconds, he's got his pants and boxer briefs off, hanging down his ankles and his dick is being swallowed by his favorite cock-slut.  

Her eyes are fluttered shut as she tries to concentrate  on pleasing him. And as always, she's doing a great job at doing so. Then he remembers — this was a punishment and she deserved to be punished.  She wanted for him to unleash the beast, after all, right? So, he would be doing that.  Jason growls and grabs the back of her neck, fingers finding their way up to her hair as he then forces  her further down onto her cock, making her sputter and choke, a few drops of spit soaking his shaft as he face-fucks (Y/N)'s throat.   "Take it, slut. You wanted this, remember? Wanted to see the man behind the mask, well, here I am, baby, standing proudly right in front of you. Take my cock, choke on it like the filthy, little bitch you are. That's all you are, isn't it, sweetheart? You aren't important enough for me to keep around, according to the letters you get. Only keep you around so I can fuck you like the desperate whore you are. Is that what you want to hear? Huh?"  (Y/N)'s eyes are full of tears and she knows, without even looking in the mirror, her cheeks are stained with mascara and her lipstick is smudged, as her throat is getting pounded by the man above her, his grip on her hair is too tight, it's too much and yet not enough. 

She wants more — no, scratch that —  needs more.   "Desperate cock-hungry bitch, aren't you, baby? Starving for me to feed you my cock, to feed you my cum. You'll just open your legs to anyone, everyone, too, huh?  Especially me, even when you know exactly what I've done.... letters or no letters, you know the kind of person I am.. and yet, I'm the monster? You're no saint, either, miss (L/N).You're as crazy and as fucked up as I am."  (Y/N) nearly  (key-word there) makes a mess in her panties. And she hasn't touched herself at all yet, neither has Jason placed a finger yet on her.   

 Jason, on the other end, notices how her fingernails are digging themselves into his bare, naked thighs rougher than they had been previously. There's also more sweat pooling at the top of her forehead, too. He was making a complete mess out of her and was loving every single second of it.  "What is it, baby girl? You want to cum for me? Going to cum for me, untouched? Oh, so naughty, filthy little thing," He cooed, slowing down his movements as he continues to push his dick further down her throat, feeling more saliva spill out of her mouth and wetting his cock as he does so. 

 "Go on then, baby. Make a mess all in your panties. I know you can do it." And, well, yeah, just like that (Y/N) is coming, untouched, all while Jason does the same, feeding her his cum with a grunt of her name escaping his lips.   (Y/N) hums happily as she pulls back, wiping what remains on her cheeks onto her fingers, coating her digits with his  ejeculation and slips the juices into her mouth, making sure to poke her tongue out and give Jason a show — she wanted to prove how much of a slut she really was, and how desperate she was to have him bury his cock in her pussy. She needed the pain, wanted to feel it. She wanted it rough.   "So... what else do you have in plan?"  (Y/N) wonders, looking up at him with a smirk.   That little grin placed on her lips is quick to fall down into a worried frown when Jason pulls a gun out at her, pressing it against her skull.   "I could kill you since I got what  I needed." His voice was as devoid of life as an ossuary and his eyes were still soul-penetrating.  Not even a hint of a smile, not even a sign of amusement in the tone of voice. Surely, he wasn't being serious.... was he?  He presses the end of the gun to her mouth, making her lips part open as he presses  the gun inside.  "Could blow your brains out, right here, right now.... since that's all I'm going to do to you, anyways, right? I'll kill you eventually, why not now?"  Jason pulls the trigger.   

It's a blank.  Of fucking course it is.  "I'm only kidding," He said, chuckling lowly as he places the gun back into the pocket of his trench coat.    "You're a fucking dick." (Y/N) hisses, getting up on her feet and raising her hand up, slapping him on the cheek. "Don't scare me like that,"   "You're the one who was sucking my dick, first of all.... and you are also the one who wanted me to show you just how awful I could be... so, it's your fault." Jason said.   "Oh, shut up and kiss me already. 'm tired of this roleplay. Just want you inside me. Now."  "As you wish, your majesty." Jason laughs, bending forward as he picks his girlfriend up, throwing her over his shoulder and carries  her to his bedroom, kicking the door open with his foot. 

He then falls down onto the bed, letting his girlfriend fall on the mattress as well, (Y/N) squealing loudly as she tries to get comfortable and find a cozy spot along the mountain of pillows that rest against the headboard of the bed.  "Can I at least see if you're as sweet as you look?"  Jason asks,  licking his lips.   For obvious reasons, (Y/N) doesn't argue.  All she does is nod her head and lets a breathless pant out, answering with a, 'yes, please'.  She shimmies out of her pants, pulling her panties down as she strips out of both. Once they're off, she throws them elsewhere, not worried where they end up nor does she have time to worry about such things because the moment she's naked, Jason is pulling her legs apart and is quick to bury his face in her thighs.

 "Oh, God, fuck. Should've given me a warning, baby." She whines, fingers brushing through his hair as she tugs his black locks, pulling him closer, dragging his face closer to her cunt. "Need you so badly...." She murmurs, feeling the smile of her boyfriend's face against her heat. His tongue dances against her clit, flicking this way and that. He was always phenomenal with his mouth, more so his tongue than anything else. (Other than his dick, of course.)  (Okay, everything about J.D, other than his temper, was amazing.)  There were no words to describe it other than perfection and magical.  "Jason, baby..."  Hearing her pleas and knowing he's doing an excellent job, he continues, this time adding a finger and pushing it deep inside, earning a loud gasp to spill from (Y/N)'s lips. "Jason, fuck!"   She's wet, this much is obvious, but she's leaving a puddle not only on his face but beneath her. She'll have to wash the comforter later, she hopes she isn't leaving any stains behind either and can wash it out in time before it does leave an imprint.  

 These thoughts are replaced when Jason adds another finger, and she isn't so sure if he has two inside or three, all (Y/N) knows is it feels so fucking good and if he doesn't stop, she's going to cum soon. "S-Stop, Jason, please.... want to cum by your cock, wanna cum with you."   Jason doesn't stop, despite her cries. He's pushing her thighs down, holding her still as he continues to pump his fingers in and out, his tongue is everywhere and she feels so hot, feels as if every part of her body is on fire.  "Jason, Jason,"  (Y/N)'s moans come out like a broken record; only able to play the bit of his name on repeat, only able to speak his name and nothing else. "Jason, baby, oh.... I'm.... I'm going to cum!" And within a matter of seconds, that familiar sensation she had been feeling for the last few minutes in the pit of her stomach finally explodes and she's shooting her orgasm all over his fingers and on his face and... wait, did she- "You squirted, holy shit..." Jason pulls back, laughing as he wipes his face off of with his shirt. "That's a first. Just by my fingers too, fuck, baby girl.... can't even begin to imagine what you can do when I stuff my cock deep inside your cunt."  "Well, don't imagine then and just do it. Fuck me." Jason chuckles as he takes off the rest of his clothes.  Which wasn't much other than his coat and the shirt. (Y/N) giggles, not realizing that was all he had on. Nothing but his trenchcoat and a shirt underneath, his lower half being completely bare.  "What?" He asks, dropping the jacket and his shirt at the end of the bed before he's crawling up and over on (Y/N), wrapping her legs around him as he presses the tip of his cock at her entrance, teasing her for  a second or two.  "Nothing. Just waiting for you."  "Anything for my darling." With this, he presses his cock steadily at her entrance before he's leaning forward, pressing his chest on top of hers, Jason slides his cock deep within her walls at a slow pace before he's fully inside her, his own mouth parting open at the tightness that clenches around him. "Always so tight, (Y/N), fuck." "I'm not going to last long," She answers honestly.   Jason agreed, nodding his head rapidly as he moves, little by little, bit by bit. "Me, either, baby. You feel so good, always fucking so good."   "Jason...." (Y/N) mewls, feeling that sensation clouding over her once more, every thrust he gave sent a wave of electricity to shock her. Her orgasm would be stronger than the one she had a few seconds ago, this much she knew. 

 "Jason, baby, fuck.... you feel so good. Love feeling you inside me," She gasps, her feet were pointed like a dancer's, her toes curling and uncurling. Her pelvis rose from the bed as if seeking something in the air, Jason had to hold her down against the mattress, placing her hands above her head so she could remain still.  "Jason, please, I'm so close, I'm-" He cuts her off by pressing his lips onto hers. "Tell me you love me." He whispers, slowing the movements of his hips.  She laughs, pulling back and presses her face in the crook of his neck, playfully giving him a bite. "You're the one who lit the match and burned me earlier, telling me you hate me.... why should I say it first?" "Cause you and I  damn well know I don't hate you, I could never hate you, darling, so tell me you love me, please."  "I love you, Jason Dean, now cum inside me and fill me up like the desperate, cum slut I am. I wanna feel you."  Jason groans as he presses (Y/N) back against the pillows, leaving one hand off of her arm as he now cups her face, crashing his lips back against hers hungrily. "Cum with me, baby girl, cum with me."  (Y/N) musters a few curse words, letting them fall into Jason's open mouth as they kiss wildly and crazily, the type of kiss you'd only see in pornagraphic movies.   (What they were doing too, obviously, could be in a film as well.)  "I love you, I love you, I love you."  Jason groans and spills his seed, filling  (Y/N) up as he shoots his load deep inside her walls, moaning the same words she just said into the kiss. "Fuckin, goddamn..." He groans, pulling back as he falls next to her. "Never realized you were so naughty."  "Yes you do. That's why you started dating me, why you fell in love with me... shall I continue?"  "Correction: Didn't realize death was such a turn on for you."  "That's fair." (Y/N) answered with a giggle, grabbing Jason and cuddling up into his side, pressing a kiss to his chest.   "I've still got to thank Veronica for being part of this, giving me the roleplay idea and everything."  "Still don't understand why you're best friends with my ex," "She introduced us. If it weren't for her, I wouldn't be here; We wouldn't be together." "That's fair." He mocks her words, chuckling as he kisses the top of her head.  "Still, I'd never hurt you. You know this, right?" (Y/N) nods and hums, drawing tiny figures on Jason's chest with the tip of her finger.  "I know. Unless I ask for it." She jokes but she and Jason knew there were truth in her words.  "Filthy thing, you are (Y/N) (L/N)." "Yes.... but you love me, though, Jason Dean." "That I do." "And I love you."  "I love you too... although you fit the label; 'geek in the streets, freak in the sheets'  perfectly." He jokes. 

"Can't believe you squirted still and love being degraded as much as you do,  love being talked like your feelings aren't valuable... never expected this from you, missy."  "Says the one who killed others... you crazed bastard.  I knew what I was getting myself into when I got together with you, J.D. I'm not stupid."   "And see, that's why I love you. You love me and the monsters in my closet."  "Yeah, yeah, yeah. Shut up and kiss me, killer."  "Keep that attitude up and I'm gonna have to kill that pussy of yours." "Do it. I'm ready for a round two." (Y/N) replied with a smirk.  "Just can't get enough of this  cock, can you?" "Nope." "Truly are a cock slut." Jason replied with a 'tsk'  before he grabs (Y/N), placing her on top of him. "Ride me, baby girl. You already know what Daddy likes." "Don't have to tell me twice."

[blessedarethebinarybreakers]

Love the Sinner, Hate the Sin

There is of course so much wrong with this phrase, and my tag for it is full of various reasons — among them being that people only ever seem to pull it out when it comes to LGBTQA+ persons; it’s othering; it’s not even anywhere in the Bible; and there is evidence it causes real harm — but...

to me the worst thing is that when you say "hate the sin, love the sinner" about an LGBTA+/queer person, what you're saying is "I see the way that the image of God manifests you as sin.”

You’re saying, “I see the Holy Spirit’s gifts to you as sin.” You’re saying, “I see intrinsic elements of who you are, elements that when nurtured can blossom into good fruit for you and for all who come into contact with you, as sin."

To look at what God calls Good and declare it evil is the real “sin” here.

Matthew 12 includes the story of a time that Jesus healed a man whom the people of the day perceived as demon-possessed. Now, some of the people who heard of this compassionate act reasoned that the only way Jesus could have cast out demons is if he’s receiving power from demons (v. 24. And yes, they were Pharisees — but see my #pharisees tag to learn about how to be mindful about the antisemitism in always painting pharisees as the bad guys.)

Jesus’s response to this is to ask why Satan would wage war against himself, and assert that a divided community is a doomed community. “But if,” he says, “I cast out demons by the Spirit of God, then already the Kingdom of God has come upon you.” 

...And then he says a really uncomfortable thing: 

"Every sin and blasphemy will be forgiven of human beings; but blasphemy against the Spirit will not be forgiven. So if anyone speaks a word against the Son of Humanity, it will be forgiven them; but anyone who speaks against the Holy Spirit, it will not be forgiven them, neither in this age nor in the incoming one” (verses 31-32).

I'm typically wary of accusing anyone of committing this so-called "unforgivable sin" — but. When a person insists on seeing queerness as sin, they ARE saying that something that came from the Holy Spirit is evil. To call a good relationship or way of being sinful is blasphemy against the Spirit who guided and blessed that person, that relationship.

Now, I don't think they're "never gonna be forgiven" for that, because they don't know it's what they're doing. (I also don’t believe in hell / eternal punishment, but that’s a whole ’nother story. Also, does having a sin against you that will “not be forgiven” necessarily = eternal punishment anyway?) But it does put them in the wrong in a major way. They must be held accountable, must be prevented from continuing to hurt other human beings with their words and actions.

But Avery, you ask, how do you know queerness comes from the Holy Spirit?

Jesus answers that in this chapter, too! 

“Either consider the tree good and its fruit good, or consider the tree rotten and its fruit rotten. A tree is known by its fruit” (v. 33).

I have a whole tag about good fruit, primarily the good fruit borne when LGBTA+/queer folk are able to live into their gender and sexuality instead of feeling forced to repress of change those aspects of themselves. As Rachel Held Evans once wrote,

“If same-sex relationships are really sinful, then why do they so often produce good fruit—loving families, open homes, self-sacrifice, commitment, faithfulness, joy? And if conservative Christians are really right in their response to same-sex relationships, then why does that response often produce bad fruit—secrets, shame, depression, loneliness, broken families, and fear?”

The fruits of being told by someone you love that they love you, but hate your “sin” — i.e. certain intrinsic aspects of who you are and how you relate to others — are rotten fruits indeed: shame and self-loathing, alienation, broken relationships, communities fragmented into “us” (those who don’t commit this so-called sin) and “them” (those who do).

Meanwhile, the good fruit of queerness speaks to the goodness of its tree, its source. God is the source of our queerness, as God is the source of all that is good, all that is life-giving, all the diversity of humanity that brings vibrance and an endless variety of ways to glorify God.

_______

Further Reading

Exploring the phrase “Love the Sin, Hate the Sinner”:

A piece that explores the phrase’s origins, whether it’s good theology, and how it harms relationships

Article that emphasizes the alienating and dividing consequences of the phrase (be aware the article uses binary language + makes some anti-pharisee comments)

Tumblr post explaining the shame this phrase brings and that “you only hate what we do, but what we do is living.”

“3 Reasons ‘Love the Sinner Hate the Sin’ is an Abomination”

Exploring how queerness / LGBTQA+ identities are indeed from God and affirmed by God as part of the vital diversity of humanity

Nadia Bolz-Weber’s “Sex; a Benediction”

“Your queerness is a gift”

Video: How queerness is a vital, fruitful part of our faith

God rejoices in our transition(s) with us

The Bible + Christian history are full of trans-resonant figures

“What’s God’s point of view on nonbinary people?”

More info about how being LGBTQ+ is not a sin

[supercorpkid]

Extraneous Variable 3

Error: n3

Supercorp, Kara Danvers x Daughter!Reader, Lena Luthor x Daughter!Reader, Alex Danvers x Niece!Reader, Kelly Olsen x Niece!Reader

Word Count: 3120.

“What the actual fuck!”

“LANGUAGE!” Kara scolds Alex, pointing at you. “My kid is here!”

“Well, I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but WE ARE KIDS TOO!” Alex runs to the front of the mirror, and you get out of her way. “This can’t be true! I’m gonna kill Brainy!”

She marches to the door looking like she will absolutely kill him. You wonder if you should do something, but Brainy can protect himself, besides you’re not a superhero anymore. You look at your moms. Kara and Lena are staring at each other, so shocked, nothing leaves their mouths.

“Moms?”

Kara seems to be the first one to come down from her shock. “I’m you! I’m about your age!”

“Yep! We’re one in the same.” You agree with a big smile. Alex is close by, yelling at Brainy to reverse this mess. You try to ignore her.

“That’s so cool!” Kara holds Lena’s hand, who still hasn’t said a word. “Love, I’ve always wanted to know you as a teen. Hey, now we can say that we have! And, YAY, I’m going to kiss you as a teen.” Kara’s face goes towards Lena’s, who sleekly moves away. “Lena!”

“Nope.” Your mom finally lets out. “You’re her. I’m not doing that, it’s weird.” She points at both of you and sits on the chair that is closest by. Her hands cover her face, and she lets out an exasperated sigh. “I told you not to mess with alien tech. Look what you've done.”

“I didn’t do this! It was Brainy.” You defend yourself, pointing at him instead.

“In my defense, I’m just trying to undo the mess you made.” He also ignores Alex for the sake of defending himself.

“Well, you’ve made more messes than I have now.”

“Only if we look at this numerically.”

“How else would we look at it?”

“You star-”

“STOP IT!” Lena yells, making everyone in the room flinch at the sound of her teen voice coming out so loud. “Both of you, stop it! I have a damn company to run and how the hell am I supposed to do that looking like a teenage girl?”

Kara opens her mouth, but before she has a chance to speak, Lena snaps at her again.

“Kara, I swear to GOD if you say ‘language’ right now, I’m going to curse in five different languages!”

“Someone’s a moody teenager.” Alex mutters and you hold your laugh, biting your lip, knowing damn well not to add into Lena’s moodiness.

“I think I can-” Brainy starts.

“NO!” Alex slaps his hand away from the piece of tech. “Do not touch that again.”

“But-” He tries.

“NO!” Kara yells protecting the tech with her own body. “I’m scared you might turn someone into a zombie next and they’ll come for me.”

“In that case, you don’t have to worry. Zombies eat brains, so you’re safe.” Alex looks at Kara and you look to the other side trying to hide your laughter again. Aunt Alex as a teen is way too funny.

“Hey!” Kara interjects.

“I just have to-” Brainy starts again.

“NO!” It’s Lena who says it this time. “You heard them! Step away from the alien tech. Actually, can we all get out of here and leave it for the kid to figure this out?”

“You know, you can’t call me ‘kid’ anymore. I think I’m actually older than you are, right now.”

“And I am actually still your mother, so you better find a way to reverse this, or you will be in deep-deep trouble, young lady.” Lena says and you drop your head low. Why is she still so scary even looking younger than you?

“But if the 12th-level intellect can’t find the solution, what chance do I have?”

“Well, you have the motivation.” Lena smiles at you, blinking her big green eyes at you. “Find the solution, don’t get grounded for messing with alien tech when I specifically told you not to.”

“Touché.”

“But how is this even possible?” Kara says, counting something on her fingers. She looks around confused. “We’re not all the same age, yet-”

“I have neither the time, nor the crayons to explain this to you.” Alex says and this time you can’t hold your laugh anymore. You wheeze out a laughter and Kara furrows her brows at you in response.

“You don’t know, do you?” She asks Alex, who denies with her head.

“No idea.”

“Ok, that’s it. Everyone out of this lab. Let’s all wait upstairs.” Lena points outside and you watch Brainy, Alex and Kara leaving with their heads hanging low.

“But I need help.” You mumble, but are left unanswered. You don’t know if they didn’t hear you or are just choosing to ignore you for the sake of Lena not yelling at them.

“So, we’re not gonna kiss?” It’s the last thing you hear before the door closes behind them.

“KARA!” Actually, that’s the last thing before you find yourself all alone in your lab with the alien tech in front of you.

It’s not that you’re scared of it, but yeah, being a baby and then a boy wasn’t the best experience in your life. Now your moms and aunt are teens. One is moody, the other is a sarcastic queen, and the other one is… Just… Kara.

You: Need help. Brainy turned our moms into teenagers.

Jamie: WHAT! OUR moms? This is gold!

You: Yeah, well, Lena is still scary as a teen, so I need a solution ASAP. Help. Please?

Jamie: Don’t know how I can help, but yeah. Sure. On my way now.

Jamie shows up some time later. You try to fill her in on what’s going on. She can’t stop laughing. Seriously. She can’t be stopped.

“I’m serious!” You roll your eyes at her reaction. “This is bad! Really bad.”

“I know. I wish we had popcorn.” She jokes, grabbing her phone in her pocket and going to the lab door. “Come on, I gotta see this with my own eyes.”

“Jamie.” You try. She ignores you, still going to the elevator.

“You said they’re at Lena’s office, right?” She’s already inside the elevator when you decide to follow her. She smiles satisfied when she sees you. “Relax.” She says pushing the button for Lena’s floor. “We’ll say we need to assess the situation, or like, whatever.”

“Fine. Just be aware, your mom is a savage.”

“Oh, I’m counting on it. I’m going to film the whole thing. Whenever I say something she doesn’t like, I’ll use this video as proof I’m not as bad as she was.”

You two sneak into the top floor, but there’s no need. Your mom’s assistant was sent home. Lena probably didn’t want to explain how she was turned back into a teenager. You open a little crack on the door and Jamie sneaks in her phone so she can film them.

Brainy is no longer with them, so right now only the three of them are in the office. Lena’s on her chair, still doing some work even as a teen. Alex is on the couch and Kara is impatiently walking from one side to the other.

“Seriously Alex, what do you think? I could wear Superkid’s suit, and no one would know.” She asks, looking at Alex waiting for a response. It doesn’t come. “Alex?”

“There’s no need to repeat yourself, I ignored you just fine the first time.” It’s what Alex says. You and Jamie try not to laugh out loud.

“Rao, you’re the worst teenager ever!” Kara complains, throwing herself in the chair in front of Lena. “Lena. Hey.” No response. “Lenaaaaaa, do you have any snacks?”

“Kara, I’m trying to work.” Lena shots her down, making Kara roll her eyes.

“Why? We’re teens. We’re not supposed to work. Besides, it’s not like anyone can hear your voice or see your face right now. Am I right, Alex?”

“I stopped listening, so why don’t you stop talking?” It’s what Alex answers. You seriously have to cover your mouth not to make any sound.

“You’re not funny. Just very cruel.”

“Yes, well. It keeps me young.” She winks at Kara. You and Jamie laugh so loud, Kara stands up in one motion, grabbing Jamie’s wrist -the one with the phone still filming- and you watch your cousin being lifted over Kara’s head. She struggles trying to put her feet back on the ground.

“It looks like we have company.” Kara says finally putting Jamie back on her feet, and you get up from the floor and go inside the office too.

“I thought I told you to reverse this!” Lena says, looking at you. You shrug.

“Well, I needed to see how you’re all thinking.” You lie, trying to justify yourself. “Momma doesn’t seem to have changed at all and you’re still working, but aunt Alex seems to have turned into a teen completely.”

“I have not.” She stands up, crossing her arms. “It’s just nice to annoy Kara. Now, I would very much like to return to my old body.”

“Me too! Lena doesn’t even want to make out with me anymore.”

“Oh, dear God.” Lena gets up, going to her cocktail bar and pouring herself a glass of whiskey.

“What are you doing? You can’t drink! You’re not old enough!” You tell her and she looks at you with wide eyes.

“Yes, I am! I’m a forty-six woman in a teenage girl’s body!”

“Well.” You take the glass of whiskey out of her hands. “When I was a sixteen-year-old girl in a baby’s body you fed me baby food, so I guess we’re respecting that rule. That means no drinking for you.” You look at Kara. “And no, you cannot use my super suit and go save the world, because, like I told you, Superkid doesn’t exist anymore. Now, be nice and go buy us some snacks.” Then, you turn to Alex. “And you, stop giving Kara a hard time or I’ll call your wife and have her come and babysit all of you. Now, if you can excuse us, the older ones must figure out a way out of this mess.”

“She’s your daughter alright.” Kara mumbles, looking at Lena and you shoot her a warning look.

Kara follows you and Jamie out of the office and into the elevator. Jamie looks at both of you with a weird expression.

“I thought one was more than enough.” Then she agrees with her head, looking away. “I was right.”

“And you’re Alex’s daughter alright.” Kara steps out of the elevator when it gets on the ground floor and you hear Aly talking to her.

“Hello, Miss Luthor-Danvers! It’s good to see you.”

“Oh, um, yeah! It’s me!” Kara says and you look at Jamie rolling your eyes.

“You know what? The sooner we finish this, the better.” You push the button for the underground level, and it doesn’t take long for you and Jamie -kind of- start working.

You absolutely hate the fact that you started messing with alien technology in the first place. You should’ve listened to Lena when she told you not to touch it. Kara comes in and out with food, Jamie takes several naps next to you, but you keep working.

“Ok, honestly. That’s enough.” Jamie gets up, holding your arm. “We’re going home. They’re not going to die being teens for a day. I mean, you didn’t die being a boy, so they’re cool.”

“Lena told me to find the solution.”

“Yes, well. She said, ‘find the solution’ not ‘find it today’. So, we’re leaving.” Jamie sighs, tired. You look at the clock and agree with your head. “Let’s take our teens home.”

And despite protests, you all go home. It’s funny that none of them can drive, so Jamie is the one left driving all of you around in Lena’s fancy car. You can tell Lena is not enjoying the ride, but there’s not much she can do about it.

“And here we are.” Jamie says, stopping in front of your house.

“Why are our lives so goddamn weird?” It’s how Alex says goodbye, and you look at Jamie raising an eyebrow.

“Good luck with her.” You slip out of the car and follow your moms into the house.

“Well, I’ll go watch TV.” You hear Kara’s voice, and she makes her way to the living room. You look at Lena who just shrugs.

“Meh, guess I’ll do that too.”

“Ok, no.” You follow Kara and turn off the TV. She interjects, but you ignore. “You’re going to take a shower, and Lena is going to help me with dinner.”

“I don’t wanna.” Lena says, throwing herself on the couch and you breathe deep.

“Ok, come on. You guys are not actually teens. Stop being annoying!” You take the control out of Kara’s hand again, when she motions turning the TV back on.

“And you’re not our mom, so stop bossing us.” Kara complains. You breathe deep one more time.

“I wouldn’t have to boss you, if you would just act your age, young lady!” You hear yourself saying that and your eyes widen. “Look at what you’re making me say! My God, I hate myself right now.” You toss the control back at her. “Do whatever you want, I don’t care.”

You still go to the kitchen and get started on dinner. How dare they make you be the responsible adult in the house? They only look young. They’re not actually young. Right?

Jamie: Why does my mom keep acting like a young brat? Isn’t she supposed to be like 50 but look younger?

You: Maybe? My moms are also being immature right now.

Jamie: Do you think their minds are catching up to their body?

You: Maybe???

“Mom!” You call but hear no answer. “Lena!”

“Ugh, what? Can you just leave me alone for like a second?” Lena’s voice comes a while later.

You run to where they are. They’re sitting on the same couch holding hands.

“What’s going on here?” You ask and receive rolling eyes as an answer. Those little weasels!

“God, you’re so annoying for a teen. Are you sure you’re not a 60-year-old woman?” Lena says and you bite your tongue not to answer her. “We’re holding hands, ‘cause this one apparently needs human contact to survive.”

“Well, aren’t you a ray of pitch-black as a teen?” You go back to the kitchen and finish the dinner. But they’re awfully quiet in the living room, so you make your way there in silence to see what’s going on. “Wow, that’s a big kiss!”

You interrupt them, like Kara once has done to you and Maya. They are breathless and flushed and are now shooting daggers at you.

“Dinner is ready.” You say but none of them move. They’re really starting to annoy you. “Did you listen?”

“We’re choosing to ignore you.” Lena says and you close your eyes, breathing deep a few times. Come on, you’re not that annoying as a teen. She’s the worst.

“Get up, come on.” You make your way towards them, hold Kara’s arms and make her stand. “Come eat, and then we’re going to sleep. I can’t stand you both anymore. Go on, Kara. Don’t make me say it twice.”

At that she obeys. Lena still rolls her eyes at you once more, before getting up and going to the kitchen table. You thought it would be a lot more fun having your moms being your own age. You felt like they would understand you, but instead they’re so self-centered it is impossible to hold a conversation. There’s no doubt, their minds are catching up to their bodies for sure.

“Hey, hey, hey.” You stop them, before they run out of the kitchen. “You two are not sleeping together. And you still have to do the dishes and clean the kitchen.” You smile, actually excited you get to say that to them. “Go on.”

You don’t even care about the rolling eyes, and the mumbles under their breaths. You’re sitting while they do all the work. You get now why Lena likes bossing you so much. It is fun!

You don’t let them sleep together. You already saw way too much when you went to the living room earlier. So Kara’s stuck sleeping with you, and the moody teen gets to sleep alone in the other bedroom.

It’s early when you wake up. Jamie, Kelly and teen Alex show up at your house sooner than you’d like.

“Ok, I’m going to the lab, you stay here and try to wake my moms up.” You tell Kelly and look at Jamie who grabs the car keys at your signal. “You might have to hire an exorcist for Lena.”

“Can’t be worse than this one.” Kelly points at Alex with her head, who rolls her eyes in response. You fight the urge to roll your eyes at Alex and leave with Jamie.

“Do we roll our eyes that much?” You ask her and she agrees with her head.

“Not anymore. My God, that shit’s annoying!”

You go back to the lab, and surprise! You can’t do it alone. But since Lena’s not around – physically or mentally – you call Brainy, and he shows up a while later to help you.

“Ok, this time, I think we actually got it.” He says and you agree with your head.

“After we undo this thing, I swear to Rao I’m breaking this machine into a thousand pieces.” You look at Jamie. “Ok, call your mami. Time to bring them back.”

It’s not long until Kelly shows up with three moody teenagers fighting behind her. She looks as done as you imagine you would with their bullshit. You pray to Rao this works. You’re done with this tech, and this nonsense all together.

You shove them inside your lab. Show Kara which button to press – she’s the less annoying one – and the rest of you wait outside.

“You did it!” Kara says, opening the lab door, excitedly. You look at them looking normal again and breathe relieved.

“Thank Rao.” You hug both of your moms, while Kelly and Jamie hug Alex. “You two were terrible teenagers.”

“Well, you handled us very well, babygirl.” Lena kisses your forehead. “I love you guys. But, um, I have to go to work.”

Lena leaves in a hurry. Kara, Alex and Brainy also excuse themselves running out of your lab back to their jobs, and you find yourself alone with Jamie.

“Hey. Help me with this?” You give her a piece of wood and point at the alien tech. She nods with a big smile.

Bye, bye weird situations alien tech put you through. Hello, weird situations your life puts you through.

Notes:

Once again thanks @oncemoonie for this fun prompt. I had too much fun with this series.

[simpcxty]

You said you needed ideas so hear me out-

Sfw- trans! Reader (ftm) with Tsukishima who gives tough love and hates it when you have really bad dysphoria days. Snaps at anyone who misgenders you.

NSFW- oikawa would be such a tease when you get needy and shit. Like this fucker would tease you after you beg because he told you to beg.

Thank you, thank you, thank you!! You have given me brain fuel, and for that. I love you 🧡

I have never written something in one day. Thank you, you have truly inspired me 😩👏

TW for Tsukishima: deadnaming and misgendering, deadname is your choice, but Y/n will be for your new name and Y/d/n for your dead name because no dads are mentioned here. Gets a little angsty but they figure it out.

I didn’t want to be disrespectful to anyone and choose a name that might be someone’s new name or dead name.

Also I’m sorry if my writing isn’t accurate for a ftm character. I did my best and I really hope you like it!

I did my best with the tough love but it does get a bit fluffy tbh.

Kei Tsukishima

Kei always tries.

He really does. You guys had started dating before you came out, and the switch from your dead name to Y/n had him caught off guard.

So did the sudden shift of pronouns.

But he didn’t leave, so he was trying to do his best all right?

But he’s already bad with emotions, these are a different kind that he doesn’t even know how to approach.

So he gives it the same energy he does with everything else.

Today though.

Something was very odd about today.

His normal words had you flashing him your best fake smile and turning away from him.

And trust me, he could tell the difference.

But for now, he chose not to comment.

Will it be one of those days today?

You didn’t like to talk about your Dysphoria but Kei always picked up on it.

Or at least he tried to.

He even had a custom made chest binder coming in the mail that should be here any day now.

But when you leave the room after Kei’s not incorrect but painfully blunt statement went straight to your very soul.

He replays the conversation in his head to see where he messed up.

He found himself doing that a lot.

‘I get that you’re trying Kei. It just sucks that other people don’t even bother.’

‘I don’t really think it’s that big of a deal. They’re stupid people who don’t even matter at least I’m trying. Imagine if I wasn’t?’

It made you question everything.

Did he even want to be trying?

Why are you being a nuisance?

Why are you putting him through this. He’s got much more important things to be focusing on as a senior in college this year.

You’re finally being true to yourself and putting him through unnecessary stress aren’t you? What is wrong with you?

All of these thoughts and more swarmed your head as you leaned against the bathroom counter trying to catch your breathing.

Stop it. Stop being such a big crybaby.

Kei Tsukishima doesn’t need a crybaby.

Why does it have to hurt so damn bad to just be a girl? He’d like you so much more as a girl.

“Y/n..?” His voice sounds so tired.

Damn it Y/n. Get your fucking shit together.

“Please talk to me.. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for it to come out like that babe.. I just-“ his eyes almost seem dull when you open the door, only to brighten when you open the door and he gets a good view of you.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to say it like that, I just- I don’t, I don’t know how to handle this sometimes, but I don’t want you to think I don’t care. It’s just new, and I can get adjusted-“ he feels his heart clench a bit when your next words come out.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry I couldn’t just stay who I was, I’m sorry I couldn’t just be a girl for-“ and he’s grabbing your face with his palms as tears start to well up in his eyes.

“Shut up. Shut up, because I love you however I can have you. I love you. I just want you, please don’t get confused and think I have a preference because I just want you Y/n. I love you, no matter who you are. Please don’t forget that.” The tears streaming down your face slow as he kisses your head and wraps his arms around you.

“Im sorry Kei.” He kisses your head again.

“Shh, stop it. Stop apologizing. You have nothing to apologize for babe, we do need to finish getting ready for class though okay?” You nod and he smiles.

———

When you get to school, he can almost feel the anxiety wafting from you.

But he doesn’t hesitate to wrap his arm around you and pull you along with him.

“You have me, okay? I’m just as much yours as you are mine babe.” You nod and expect him to pull him arm away, and he does, only to entangle his hand in yours.

“Tsukishima!” No- because he recognizes that annoyingly high pitched voice, and he’s not in the mood for it. Nor will you be.

So he picks up speed. Keeping his hand tight around yours and pulling you in front of him, only to wrap his arms around you slightly and speed up even more.

“Kei what are you doing?” You think he’s going to ignore you until he speaks up finally.

“Don’t want to deal with her.”

“Y/d/n can you-“ he stops right in his tracks and turns around to acknowledge the blonde.

“Alisa is it? See how easy was that? I wasn’t even sure. You know for a fact that isn’t the proper name that he goes by. So correct yourself, or don’t talk to my boyfriend or me. Got it?” She goes to speak again but Tsukishima already has you two walking again and his ears are flushed.

“Tsuki-?” You’re blushing and he tightens his grip on your waist.

“It wasn’t right, I’ll correct anyone who gets it wrong. Even myself.” You smiled and he manages to crack a small one.

Kei Tsukishima always tries.

———————————————————————

NSFW CONTENT AHEAD

I didn’t know if you still wanted a ftm character so this one is just written female.

READ RESPONSIBLY PLEASE

Characters aged up 18+

“Beg.” You scoffed.

“I don’t beg.” Your hips are rising as he pressed his thumb harder against your clit and you whimper.

“I won’t do anything more until you beg.” You rolled your eyes and attempt to sit up. Only for him to wrap a hand around your throat and push you back down.

“Toru, I don’t beg-“ he tightens his grip around your throat and you whine.

“I said, beg.” The way he demands it in your ear has your thighs attempting to clam shut.

Key word, attempting.

“Are you gonna listen to a single thing I say princess? Or am I gonna have to leave you here like this?” You looked up at him desperately and his grip around your neck loosens a bit.

“Please, please just fuck me already. I need it Toru, it’s been too long please just do it already-“ you’re cut off with whines as his tip prods at your entrance, but the pressure on your clit is still hard and you know he’s waiting for more.

“Please! Please fuck me! I need you Toru please!” He chuckles and pushes in agonizingly slowly.

“Like you said babe, it’s been too long. I need to go easy on your pretty pussy.” You whine at that.

“Don’t want you to go easy- just fuck me rough please!” Tears of frustration pool in your eyes and he laughs.

“Awe, don’t cry princess, I’ll give you what you want. You begged so nicely.” The sudden snap of his hips has you unable to respond to his taunt.

Yeah so what you begged. You’re getting dicked down by this god of a man. I’d say that’s a win.

His hands were both on your hips now as he thrusted into as if his life depended on it.

“Missed you so much.” He whines and a particularly hard thrust has you reaching up to wrap your arms around his neck.

The new position has you sliding down on his dick so much easier, and the way he can just lift you up and down quickly has him whining more.

“M’gonna cum. Off.” He whimpers as you tighten and start to lift yourself off and grabs your hips. He’s never cum so fast but you don’t mind.

“T-Toru-!” He gasps as you tighten more and his hips thrust up desperately.

“Nevermind, I wanna cum inside. Please, please let me cum inside. You feel so good, just wanna cum inside your warm pussy hnngh~ please!” His hips are starting to falter and you know he’s getting closer as his hands tighten around your waist, lifting you up and down to meet with his sloppy thrusts.

“Please!” He’s begging and you almost laugh.

“Oh god please, just wanna cream inside you please!” He has to stop thrusting and you’d almost think he did cum.

But you knew better. His nails digging into your hips and his ragged breathing against your neck has you melting.

“Did you even really have to ask? Just cum babe.” Your words are so nonchalant that he’s whining and picking up his thrusts again.

“fuckfuckfuckohfuckyes” his voice is messy and it’s almost gibberish.

But as you tighten around him and his hips falter he’s moaning and whimpering into your chest and neck.

“So tight, ngHh shit~” he moans whorishly as you cum around him and cum spurts out of him and into you.

“You fuck me so good. So so good Y/n.” His hips are still sputtering and you’re wondering just how long it’s been since he’s actually gotten off.

“Thank you, Thank you so fucking much baby.” His cum is already spilling out of you and he’s still finishing.

This’ll be a fun cleanup.

He finally lays you down on the bed and lays his head in between the valley on your chest as he catches his breath.

“You begged.” He wraps his arms around you and pulls you closer, making you whimper while he stays inside of you.

“Do I need to remind you how you sounded when you wanted to cum Toru?” His head shoots up at that and his cheeks flush.

“But you’re so warm. So tight and comfy. I didn’t and still don’t want to leave.” He whines and wiggles his hips upward and you whimper. You can’t help but clench as he thrusts up again and whines again.

He keeps up the occasional thrusts. Neither of you have the energy for a second round. That much is obvious. But the bliss is overwhelming.

“Don’t want to pull out yet. Please don’t make me.” He whines and you just clench around him to tease.

“Fuck. Don’t do that. M’still hard and I’m ninety percent sure if you keep doing that I’m gonna stuff your already full pussy again.” You hummed and he wraps his arms around you.

“Empty threats. We’re both too tired, you know we’ll just go again when we wake up.”

“I’m gonna get you pregnant.” He says it confidently, you couldn’t even laugh at the statement. Because he probably and most definitely will.

“I mean if that’s what you want, I wouldn’t mind having a little Oikawa running around.” Almost all his stamina is back in that moment.

Congratulations you have unlocked

Breeding King with Toru Oikawa 🔓

Neither of you ended up sleeping that night.

[pineapple-hoseok]

Happy Birthday!

Pairing: Yoongi x f!reader

Genre: A whole lot of fluff, soft Yoongi, 13+

Warnings: Some cuss words and Yoongi being a lovesick puppy

Word Count: 3.7k (wow that’s the longest one shot I’ve ever written)

Summary: It’s your birthday and Yoongi doesn’t know what to get you. He has a huge crush on you and he wants everything to be perfect.

---

Your birthday was tomorrow. You knew it, your best friend knew, the boys knew it, Yoongi knew it. How could Yoongi forget one of the most important days of the year? Well, it wasn’t as important as everyone was hyping it up to be, but it was for Yoongi. Especially because he had the biggest crush on you since Jimin introduced you to him and the others over a year ago. And he was going to use this day to finally tell you how he felt, using the advice Jimin gave him.

The only problem was, he didn’t know what gift to get you. You were supposed to be meeting up at their dorm tomorrow afternoon so they could celebrate with you and Minah, one out of two of your best friends, and he still had no idea what to buy.

Even as he stood in the middle of the shopping mall about a mile from the dorm, he was clueless and running out of time. So he did what he thought of as a last resort and dialed a number.

The boy on the other line answered with a tired ‘Hello?’, making it clear to Yoongi that he had just woken up from a nap. “Jimin-ah, I need your help.”

“Are you trying to find a gift for Y/N but you have no idea what to get her so you’re calling me to see if I can give you an idea of what to buy since I’m her best friend and I know her better than she knows herself?” That left Yoongi speechless.

Jimin knew of the older boy’s crush on you, hell, all the boys did. Even Minah, who was also one of the densest people in all of Korea, knew. Everyone could tell by the way Yoongi’s mood would lift every time you walked into the room, his obvious attempts of getting closer to you on movie nights, spending hours in his studio showing you songs he’d been working on, even letting you hear him sing after he swore he didn’t have the ability to. And when you told him you loved his songs and his voice, he felt his heart do a backflip in his chest. But somehow, you didn’t notice.

“How the fuck did you know that?” Jimin rolled his eyes so hard, Yoongi could practically hear it.

“You’re so easy to read when it comes to her, hyung.” The Busan boy sighed, sitting up in his bed once he realized he wasn’t getting any more sleep. “You already know Y/N’s really into photography, and I just happen to know her camera just broke. She needs a new one.”

Yoongi’s eyes widened, wondering to himself how he didn’t think of that before. “Thanks Jiminie, I owe you.” Jimin mumbled a simple ‘hell yeah you do’ and hung up the phone, but not without reminding Yoongi how much he loved him. The older male externally gagged, but internally smiled.

He knew you would never accept a brand new camera from him, but he was going to force you to take it, since he knew how much photography meant to you. He couldn’t live with himself if he knew you couldn’t do the thing you loved, and that he had a way to help. So he walked into Best Buy and made a beeline to the camera section. He knew absolutely nothing about cameras, but he was lucky to have a worker show him the best one for taking 4K pictures. Yoongi thought you’d really like an upgrade from your previous camera, which was kinda crappy considering that you got it for cheap.

Oh yeah, Yoongi thought, Y/N is definitely going to kill me. The boy, who usually kept his feelings to himself, found himself smiling at the thought of what your reaction would be. You’d definitely give him the worst death glare you could muster up, but he knew you would be actually trying your hardest not to cry. So as he swiped his credit card in the card reader, his excitement to give you this gift only grew.

Yoongi sat at his desk later that night, ignoring the calls of all the boys and their questioning of the bag he had in his hands. He pulled out a piece of paper and a pen, getting to work on the second half of his gift for you.

Meanwhile, you were laying on Minah’s bed while staring up at the ceiling, your best friend sitting on her desk chair. You had no idea what she was doing, but you didn’t question it. Everyone seemed to be keeping something from you lately. First, Minah begged you to sleep over, then you caught her talking to Jimin on the phone about god knows what. Now, she was telling you that the two of you were going over to the boys’ dorm because she forgot her favorite sweater there.

You fished your phone out of your pocket and texted the only person you thought you could get information out of.

If Hoseok didn’t know anything, that means they probably kept him out of it. He was probably the worst liar you had ever met, he couldn’t keep a secret to save his life. But you dropped the subject as soon as Minah stood up from her desk chair. She gestured for you to move over so she could get in the bed too. Back in Busan, you, Minah, and Jimin had been sleeping in the same bed since you all were in diapers, so this wasn’t weird at all to either of you.

“Minah?” You spoke in a soft voice, causing the girl to turn to look at you.

“What’s up?”

You bit your lip, thinking for a second. “What if everyone forgot my birthday? The only person that has said anything about it was Hoseok.”

Minah had to keep herself from smiling. “I’m sure everyone remembers, there’s still a half hour until your actual birthday. Don’t worry, okay?”

You took her word for it, trying your best to calm your racing thoughts. For the next half hour, you and Minah talked about memories you both had from middle school, including the time the two of you drew all over Jimin’s face in middle school when he fell asleep in class. He was still holding a grudge against the two of you for that.

Before you knew it, the alarm clock on Minah’s bedside read twelve am.

Minah jumped up and wrapped her arms around you, screaming ‘happy birthday!’ so loudly in your ear that you were sure her neighbors heard her. You laughed, the girl’s strength knocking you down on the bed while you hugged her back.

“Thank you, now get off of me!” As soon as she did, your phone rang. It was your parents calling you from Busan to wish you a happy birthday. You thanked them, making sure to tell them that you were gonna visit soon before you hung up. Other than that, you had no more calls. Not even from the person you wanted to call you the most, Yoongi.

Everyone knew about your crush on Yoongi, the two of you were really bad at hiding your feelings. But apparently you weren’t, because neither you nor Yoongi knew how the other felt.

Every time you hung out with him and the boys, you always found yourself smiling more than usual whenever he talked to you. And the moments you two spent in his studio listening to a song he wanted to show you only made your stomach fill with butterflies. He seemed to get you more than anyone else did, not even Minah and Jimin. You also couldn’t forget how gentle he always was with you, despite what people have said about him having a cold exterior. Whenever you had a movie night with the boys, Yoongi would always end up sitting next to you, even sharing his blanket with you when you got cold. He’d scold you whenever he caught you speaking badly about yourself, telling you never to do that again. Whenever you were upset and needed comfort, he always let you call him no matter what time of night it was. You couldn’t help but fall for him, which is why you felt disappointed when you didn’t get a text or call from him at midnight.

Your lips turned down in a small frown, but Minah didn’t notice. Instead, she explained that the two of you should sleep so you could go to the boys’ dorm early in the afternoon. You turned onto your side, pulling the covers over your shoulder as you closed your eyes and let sleep take over you.

--

You woke up to the sound of a higher pitched male voice singing happy birthday. As your eyes opened, you noticed it was Jimin singing to you while holding a cupcake with a single candle in it, Minah smiling widely behind him. They gave you a second to sit up in Minah’s bed, a wide smile taking over your features. You closed your eyes, making a single wish before blowing out the candle on the cupcake Jimin was holding out for you. He set it on the nightstand, allowing you to jump into your best friend’s arms and thank him profusely. Jimin’s arms picked you up and lifted you off of the bed, spinning you around once before setting you down on the floor.

“Happy birthday, loser.” You laughed, reaching up to ruffle the boy’s hair.

“Yah, that’s noona to you.” You honestly didn’t care about honorifics, but you did it just to tease Jimin about your one year age difference like you always did. He rolled his eyes, pushing your hand away from him while you laughed even more.

“Now go brush your teeth and put on something nice after you shower, you stink.” Minah pushed you towards her bathroom, leaving you confused. If you guys were only going to the dorm to pick up her sweater, why did you need to wear something nice? At this point you learned not to question anything Minah said, so you just went along with it and started getting ready.

About an hour later, you were dressed in a black skirt and a matching black blouse that you found in Minah’s closet after you forgot your clothes at your house. All you did to your hair was brush it out and style it a little, but you liked the way the wavy style looked on you. Once you stepped out of the room, you found Jimin and Minah whispering about something, with Jimin briefly looking down at his phone.

After you cleared your throat to get their attention, they turned to look at you.

“Perfect, let’s go.” Jimin grabbed your hand and brought you over to the door, telling you to put on the black low top vans you came in before leading you and Minah to his car. Throughout the entire car ride to Bangtan’s apartment building, Minah kept bouncing excitedly in her seat. Jimin on the other hand, kept telling her to stop before he threw her out of his porsche.

Soon enough, the three of you arrived at the building, making your way up the familiar elevator before walking down the hall. You were about to put in the code to the front door before Jimin slid in front of you so he could do it himself. What a child.

He sent a quick text from his phone before putting in the door code. The lights were off inside the big apartment, and you wondered where the boys were. Were they all out and Jimin was the first one home? Dismissing the thought, you took your shoes off at the entrance and put on the slippers the boys got you a few months into your friendship with them. You were about to start looking for Minah’s sweater until all of a sudden, the lights turned on and six boys jumped up screaming.

“Surprise!” You would’ve fell on your ass if it wasn’t for Minah who caught you from behind, everyone laughing at your reaction. All around you were balloons and streamers in an array of colors, the entire living area of the dorm looking festive.

You started tearing up, your hand fanning your eyes as you looked around at the seven boys -- plus Minah -- that planned this surprise party for you.

“You guys did all of this for me?” They all nodded, all of them running over to hug you before you could burst into tears. You hugged all of them individually, each boy wishing you a happy birthday. Hoseok came up to you, wrapping his arms around you in a friendly hug. Aside from Jimin, Hoseok was the next boy you considered as one of your closest friends in Bangtan.

“I swear, Y/N, I didn’t know anything about this until an hour ago.” You laughed, hugging the boy tightly.

Next was Yoongi. He walked up to you with a smile on his face, holding his arms out for a hug. Your arms wrapped around his neck as his wrapped around your waist, your heart doing backflips and somersaults in your chest.

“I’m sorry I didn’t call you to say happy birthday at midnight, they took my phone so I couldn’t contact you and ruin the surprise,” He spoke, his lips right next to your ear making his soft voice send shivers through your body. You hugged him for a second longer than the other boys before pulling back from the hug.

“It’s okay, I wasn’t worried.” That was a lie, but you decided that Yoongi didn’t need to know that.

The two of you walked over to the living room where the rest of the party was, your body immediately taking a seat next to Seokjin when he offered you one of the switch remotes to play Mario Kart with him.

That’s how the party went for the next few hours. A Mario Kart tournament between you and your eight friends took up a lot of the time, but you ended up beating everyone. You knew all of them had let you win, because there was no way you could beat Seokjin, Jungkook, AND Taehyung. But you didn’t mind, you got a crown made out of paper as your prize.

At last, it was gift opening time. Everyone sat on the living room floor, letting you use the couch as your throne as you opened each gift.

“I told you guys not to get me anything.” You whined, earning a bunch of comments from the peanut gallery to shut up and open your gifts.

So that’s what you did, starting with a gift from Jungkook. He got you the new pair of vans you’ve been wanting and were telling him about last week. Taehyung got you a gucci necktie to match his, Hoseok got you a pin that says ‘I <3 New Zealand’ from when they visited the year before (which you laughed at), Seokjin got you an Eevee plushie to match his, Namjoon got you a copy of the book he was reading which you asked him for a while ago, and Jimin got you a signed cd of his single ‘Promise’. After each of the boys gave you their gifts, you hugged each of them and made sure to tell them how much you really liked everything.

Then Yoongi gave you his. It was in a wrapped box and it felt heavy. You prayed that he didn’t get you something expensive, after you specifically told everyone not to buy you anything expensive. But you carefully opened it anyway, the wrapping paper revealing the box of a brand new Canon camera. A chorus of surprised sounds came from everyone, your eyes widening while looking down at the box. This camera was a huge upgrade from the shitty one you had before, which broke after some random guy bumped into you while you were taking pictures one day.

“Min Yoongi, I’m gonna kill you.” You mustered the best death glare you could give him. If looks could kill, the boy would be six feet under by now.

“Well I’m not taking it back, and there’s no refunds or returns so you have to accept it.” He wore a smug smile on his face that you wanted so badly to wipe off completely. You would definitely murder him in his sleep later.

You set the box down next to you and sighed in defeat, going over to hug him too.

“Thank you, it really means a lot to me.” Your voice was soft as you thanked him, and you could feel him smile against your cheek. You were about to go back to your seat when Yoongi stopped you.

“Actually, there’s something else I have for you,” He looked around at the curious eyes of everyone staring up at him, “in private.”

This set off another chorus of ‘woah’s from all of the boys, Minah only snickering in the corner. After telling them all to shut up, Yoongi stood and gestured for you to follow him to his room. You stood and followed closely behind him, ignoring the stares you felt on the back of your head.

Yoongi led you into his room and closed the door behind him so you two would have privacy. Your heart was beating wildly in your chest, wondering why he brought you here.

“So I kinda wrote you a small note, and I didn’t want you to read it in front of everyone so I brought you here.” He reached into his back pocket and pulled out a folded piece of paper, handing it to you with red cheeks. You didn’t know how to react except for responding with a small ‘thank you’ before opening the note.

Dear Y/N,

I kinda feel like an idiot writing this letter to you, but I didn’t know how else to tell you. Okay I’m just gonna say it, I like you. Like really like you. I like spending time with you, whether it’s with the boys or alone, I like showing you the songs I’m working on, I like when you sit close to me on movie nights, I like when you smile and literally light up any room you walk into, I like how little strands of your hair fall into your eyes and you don’t even notice it, I like the way your dimples pop out every time you smile, I like everything about you. I really like the way I feel when I’m around you, like I get this tingly feeling in my stomach and I can feel my heart do little flips in my chest, and I just feel really happy when I’m around you. Everything in me just wants to keep you happy, because you look really beautiful when you smile, and your laugh is probably more contagious than Hoseok’s (and that’s saying a lot). My point is, I’m wearing my heart on my sleeve right now and I just wanted to ask you something.

P.S: Look back up at me when you’re done reading this.

You had tears in your eyes by the time you looked back up at a nervous Yoongi, his hands shoved in his front pockets to keep himself from fidgeting with them.

“Now that you know my feelings, will you please be my girlfriend?” Yoongi couldn’t tear his eyes away from yours, not until he heard your answer. Right now, he was giving his heart to you in hopes that you wouldn’t break it. He was revealing a vulnerable side of him that only you got to see, and that he had never shown anyone.

You smiled as a few tears slipped past your eyelids, which made Yoongi immediately go into panic mode.

“Oh shit, did I do something? I’m so sorry, I shouldn’t have done that-“ You cut him off by chuckling lightly, shaking your head.

“Shut up and kiss me, idiot.” Your hands reached up to rest on his cheeks, pulling his face closer to yours until your lips met his. Almost immediately, his hands rested on your waist, pulling your body closer to his.

The kiss lasted a little less than ten seconds before both of you hesitantly pulled back just enough to look at each other’s faces.

“Yes,” You spoke softly, causing a confused look to take over Yoongi’s face. Laughing lightly, you realized he completely forgot about his question. “I’ll be your girlfriend.”

Yoongi smiled his gummy smile that you absolutely adored, his arms wrapping around your waist to hug you again. The size of your smile mirrored his as your hands ran through his hair.

“You have no idea how long I’ve been waiting for this.” His head pulled back, leaning down to kiss you again. You broke the kiss after a second, though, much to his dismay.

“As much as I just want to kiss you all night, we have a crowd of people waiting for us outside.” Yoongi whined, only making you laugh more. But you were serious about going back out there, taking hold of his hand and walking back out of his room. The two of you walked hand in hand back to the living room, smiling at all of the surprised faces staring back at you.

“Finally!” Jimin called out, earning himself a slap on the back of the head from Seokjin. But everyone agreed with Jimin’s opinion, congratulating you and Yoongi.

You all decided to end the night with cake and a movie. Everyone called for you to pick the movie while Minah got up to grab the cake in the kitchen, so you picked ‘Toy Story 2’ again. They all started complaining, but you just smiled and pressed play on the screen.

Instead of sitting on the couch like you normally would’ve, you decided to sit on the floor in between Yoongi’s legs, leaning your back against his chest. You felt two strong arms wrap around your waist, looking back to see your now boyfriend looking back down at you with a smile on his face. Making sure no one was looking, you leaned up to quickly kiss his waiting lips before resting your head back on his shoulder, your arms resting on top of his.

This was officially the best birthday ever.