#because for my own good i cant really show how much i care yet

[thefleshyougoveggie]

no matter how things turn out between us, i’ll always be thankful for you helping me with that one insecurity of mine that i’ve had for years

i just talked about it briefly and your simple reaction helped more than i think you can imagine

so thank you for that:)

[drchucktingle]

i have copied this comment without name because i think it is very kind and respectful and i do not want buckaroos interpreting it the wrong way. PLEASE UNDERSTAND this buckaroo is very sincere and has important points and please respect their way. i am going to answer in a way that is counter to their point and i do not want buds to go after them IN ANY WAY. THEY ARE PROVING LOVE AND THEY HAVE GOOD POINTS

okay here is what i have to say:

i have not transitioned and in this lifetime i do not expect to. i think you have a good point of 'how can you know?' and honestly i cannot know that is just how timelines and reality and perception work

HOWEVER i must caution against this train of thought slightly because what works for one buckaroos MAY NOT WORK for another. every time i talk about my non-dysphoric way there are plenty of well meaning buds, particularly fellow trans buds, who show up with posts in the tone of 'its only matter of time.' like i just do not understand yet.

this reminds me of bisexual buckaroos who are told 'you just do not know you are gay yet'. as difficult as it is to step out of our own dang minds, i implore buckaroos to accept that there VERY JOYFUL AND FULFILLED NON-DYSPHORIC TRANS BUCKAROOS who do not need to transition and never will and are healthy and happy without that. just like there are bisexual buckaroos who are not just on their way to being gay

a good way to look at it is like this: I LOVE MY MALE BODY. i think i am a very handsome buckaroo. i have masculine features in my muscle and height and frame. as far as how fate could have placed me on this timeline I WON MY OWN PERSONAL FOOTRACE. i am up on the podium and i am standing here with a medal around my neck. GOOD JOB CHUCK

HOWEVER when i look down i see that medal is silver. i am not going to lie and say it is gold. it is silver.

YES my gold medal is a female body. that is an objective truth to my trot. i believe my gender way is that of a women, but there is no part of me that is upset about where i have placed.

I GOT SILVER. i am not upset. there is no tragedy. in fact i am OVERWHLEMED WITH JOY not just to be on the podium but to be in this race in the first place. HECK YEAH I DID IT AND I GOT A MEDAL

of course this is not to dismiss the difficult journey of others. many do not feel the way i do and their trot is VALID. a dysphoric way matters and is important and these voices are important. they should be elevated and supported. i understand some do not share this podium imagery, and they feel PAINED by trappings of their body.

i feel so much for this. i understand and care for my dysphoric buds, but the simple truth is that is not my story. i cant just lie and say that it is.

it will never be my story. i cannot say this enough: i love my body. however i STILL believe my truest way is that of a ladybuck. if it was a simple button push to change me, then i would push it without hesitation.

but it is not a simple button push.

talk to almost any buckaroo who has transitioned and they will say 'transitioning is hard'. it takes time and work and money and emotional support. i am in awe of the bravery of buckaroos who trot this path, but all of that is not worth it for something that i already feel good about. SCRATCH THAT, i feel GREAT ABOUT. i feel overwhelmed with joy every day over just existing in this male body that i have been blessed with. YES buckaroo, i feel joy existing in a male body that i know is ladybuck on the inside. it feels interesting a cool and exciting.

but my truest way is STILL a ladybuck trot

i guess i am just trying to say that i love second place. im happy to celebrate it. i think my male body is really dang cool. it is not a 'perfect me' but it is really dang awesome, and i never really bothered with trying to be perfect

[spaloonbabooguuscooties]

You could drink your whole life away and still never get that taste out of your mouth.

half commission for @salempie half completely self indulgent dreck pieced together from our insane conversations abt franke and elka. told myself id finally write a big explanation for all of the dum shit between these two for context so Thats Under The Cut.

so I already wrote some stuff about elka and franke's relationship back in whispering rock so feel free to look at that too . it goes over elkas blindness/‘seeing’ with clairvoyance and how her and franke started talking & all that good stuff

SO FOR STARTERS. a lot of thsi wont make sense without a big breakdown of elka herself. because elkas potential as a character is like insane to me. like just the idea of her in the long run of her life reads as something so potentially tragic; a young girl whos plagued with visions of doom and destined to be an outcast even in her own home for things she cant control and clings to the One vision of her wedding that she thinks is 'happy' even despite the fact she doesnt really love the person in it. im choosing to take the li-po doc as canon here because its funny shes the only one with backstory-

but my fucking god even the smallest look into what her parents are like is soo fucked up to me. and i do think elka especially gets a lot of influence from her mother; its funny how easily you can fit mabel doom into a box just from what elka says about her. knees deep in an avon-esque pyramid scheme and leaning into her daughters depressing ass visions & taking her to therapy at age 11 (which would be good if not for the kind of person you can already assume she is & so i doubt the therapist she has really does her any good. i think they share one). she reads as a very I Am My Daughters Best Friend type of mom to me and i can see elka being a centerpiece of the conversation when she has her Amway Girls over for drinks. wine-mom that lets her kid sip from the glass so she can feel like a big girl type deal.

and you can tell that elka is trying to hard to be too mature for her age even in her campster posts. how she writes letters to nils' mom and exchanges baking recipes with her and that feels like she really only interacts with middle aged women and not really many people her own age outside of camp (like her moms friends). which makes sense shed feel the need to ‘grow up’ early when shes probably had to process so many hard things at a young age bc of her visions.

theres a lot of filling the blanks here of course.

elka obsesses over nils to an overbearing degree even despite the fact he treats her like shit ('you promised no talking' and so on) and she treats him bad right back. she leans onto stereotypical heterosexual ideals like taking care of him and overblowing how Manly and Protective JT is and she admires romance stories like pride and prejudice and it feels like she Projects Soooooooo much of what she wants onto boys she barely feels anything for without knowing what its actually supposed to feel like. and clearly she WANTS that ideal future, a happy marriage, an actual romance- but according to nils even when they were dating she ignored him most of the time, which just seems Very Telling

like shes filling a role, overcompensating for emotions and lacktherof she cant digest quite yet, and it only makes more sense when you know shes had visions of their future together. how could that be bad for her? shouldnt it be like the books and movies? but she doesnt really connect the fact that her visions are only for Doomed futures, and if she does she certainly doesnt show it. Doomed relationships. it's been a part of her family for generations and she isn't turning out much different, is she? i dont think she even realizes thats all she ever sees yet, just that its Going to happen. that it's Her future, and it always will be

and like, her only reference for a real marriage so far has been her own parents, and she already Knows they have an affair, and theyre doomed to split, (and i actually like to think they were in rough waters anyway and elka was a child meant to mend a crumbling marriage but thats a whole other thing) and so without a framework for what an actual healthy relationship is supposed to be like she cant really grasp that her relationship with nils Isnt that and isnt ever going to be. she can only cling to this one happy idea of the future, and thats why she keeps chasing him, self fulfilling the actuality of her situation and creating and fostering the unhappy life they will inevitably live together.

and that bleeds into everything else in her life, of course, because as the years go on, as the visions grow in number it just makes sense for her to fall into the predictability of her life. she always knows whats going to happen, her visions are Never wrong- so why try to change things? shes had time to process tragedies days, weeks, months, years before they happen, shes had time to settle into every crack of her life. her parents divorce, her various break ups, her future with the psychonauts.

“and she's already seen so much of a future with [nils] she feels trapped almost. Like she has to be happy in it or else it just means her life is miserable. And it's a mixture of pride and fear of the unknown that keeps her clinging to the One thing she knows. BUT LIKE!!! She knows what's gonna happen! It's easier to grieve when she's been grieving for years... She wants so badly to be happy, But to do that she has to step into the unfamiliar. And that's more terrifying than staying the same miserable person she's always been.”

and thats where franke comes in— and yeah you Do have to take a lot of liberties for frankes character since it’s basically, like, all the info for her is just that shes a Supreme Baby Dyke but thats enough for me. i think she has protective butch itch in her . on campster shes defensive over other women evidenced in the way she keeps watch over the girls cabins for lili when elton is pursuing her . but shes also eager to please and constantly trying to make kitty laugh and also Very naive. but she tries! and i think it only solidifies more as she gets Older and really gets a hold of her feelings & her powers. this is incredibly franke to me

and i think as they grow older together— because i think franke and elka Do stay friends, both because elka is just pathetic and needs that positive connection even if she doesnt realize it and because i think franke is a very Loyal person & annoyingly persistent if you let her be . and i am also a kitty/franke truther. because kittys also important in this web we weave

because i think franke and kitty stay together after camp, to a point— theres a falling out facilitated on kittys end and they break up, but reconnect, and franke kind of... saves kitty from herself a little, from her strict military father whos love only extends thru finances , from her own stifling future , she drives all the way to bakersville in her shitty van handmedowned from her dad and they move in together eventually . they get jobs at the motherlobe , because it’s a pipeline to a decent job, because it’s whats easy, because franke doesn’t really have a future, because she’s never really been good at much, because shes never had much sense, because franke doesnt really care as long as she can live and help, sometimes, if she can, and because kitty’s there, and because elka’s there, and shes so used to being elkas eyes now and shes good at it. shes good at being the muscle of the missions when her colleagues lack it, when hypnosis and predictions arent enough. she likes it that way.

and elka appreciates frankes company. she listens, shes sweet, she does little things for her that no ones ever really put the effort for before; she likes her. franke is strong and bold and makes her laugh and shes always there but god elka cant let go of that future, of that box shes put herself in, that her mothers put her in, of being a Good Wife to a Loving Husband, of getting married normally and falling into unfailing familiarity. thats all shes ever wanted and shes not going to jeopardize that . not for franke, who may not be a boy but is handsome like one, whos always held her after every break up with nils and the men that filled empty days inbetween.

and elka is too stubborn to recognize those feelings anyway. too prideful to accept a way out. too set in her cycle no matter how much she hates it, her little self fulfilling tragedy of her own making, wallowing in her own doom. she struggles for control of her own life when she feels like every choice has been made for her anyway, she puts up her walls and carefully constructs what people see. but franke was always harder to trick, because while empathy isnt a particularly useful psychic power it’s certainly an inconvenient one. all franke has to do is get too close and all those carefully crafted walls fall apart, and elkas control is gone, and thats all she really has. and she tries to distance herself, really she does, but franke is also too persistent. and elka wears gloves, keeps contact that would make her walls crumble from happening as best as she can, but she cant really keep herself from the brief moments where she feels like someone actually fucking cares about her.

and that slightest lack of control, the need to wrestle it back is why she proposes to nils the next time theres a falling out— she knows how it happens, she plans every detail. and he accepts, despite everything. gets her a cheap ring and it feels like lead on her finger and its nothing at all like how shed thought it to be when she was a kid, theres no feather light feeling in her chest, only that dreadful reality that she cant turn this back. BUT WHAT CAN U DO LMAO

elka doesnt tell franke about this engagement until later, on their way back from a mission. late at night when neither of them can sleep, and franke invites elka to smoke in her van, because its been so long since theyve been alone like that, because elkas been so strangely absent lately. and because of everything, because frankes always so damn nice, because elka hates the feel of the ring on her finger, because she let herself get high alone with franke fucking athens whos always been so good at pulling her apart— the truth of it all spills out and its messy and emotional and she hates it, she hates the life shes made for herself, but franke makes it easier to bare and now shes here and shes so close and god she wishes she could see her smile again, she wishes she could see franke, thats all she needs right now and she cant but she can touch her and she can hold her and for tonight, she can be known, she can let those walls crumble, she can be something else just for once here with franke . she can kiss her here in this van, touch that happiness for just a moment, and forget the future that waits for her outside of it. franke begs her to forget the wedding, to just let herself be happy— and god, she wants to, but it means turning her back on everything shes known and everything shes saw to be inevitable, and franke has never been in her future, so if it were supposed to work out why hadnt she seen it and she cant, she cant take that risk but she can have this, even if its temporary, she can have it.

and just as soon as she gets a taste of it, its gone. after that night, after the missions over and theyre back at the motherlobe and have to pretend like nothing happened (franke doesnt, of course she tells kitty about it, she tells kitty about everything.) but that brief moment together haunts elka every time she sees franke, sees herself through frankes eyes, sees herself in her wedding dress because god its all franke can think about! of course it is! she knows how much elkas destroying herself she knows how much misery shes wallowing in that kiss in the van felt like an emotional punch to the teeth and she hasnt ever forgotten it and all she can do is sit and watch while elka throws herself into a loveless marriage. she can come to her wedding and see the way the bride and groom kiss with the emotional weight of a wet towel no matter how hard elka tries to hide it under a pretty dress and bouquets of flowers and meticulous planning.

and elka resents nils but she cant really hate him, its not his fault, not really. he feels trapped just like she does and his feelings of misery only cycle back into hers . they fight and gnash and wear away at each other and its a relationship thats crashed and burned a million times before elka even said i do. and its inevitable that she falls into her mothers habits, a sip of wine here and there to loosen up, until it turns to a glass, until it falls into a bottle on nights when whatever work nils does runs late.

but franke’s still there. shes always been there, hasn’t she? always trying to play knight, always trying to save her, dragging her home when shes stumbling over herself because god who else is going to do it but her? who else is left to care? certainly not nils. never nils. because franke knows her. because franke pities her. shes always pitied her. shes always known. and elka hates it, she resents it, but god in the same breath she’s desperate for it, she envies it to her very bones. elka is a mess but after frankes done with her she has someone to go back to that loves her. and god what elka wouldnt do to have that. to take it and keep it for herself because shes never ever got to have that movie romance shes always wanted.

so now comes this.

because elkas particularly miserable and particularly spiteful and she needs to get franke to understand, just for a moment, drink with her and get on her level and she needs her there with her no matter how her pity makes her feel. no matter how much it makes her shake with anger and envy and desperation, but god the way franke looks at her, the way she still tries to salvage what they have, the soft, slurred way she tells her that it’s okay but its not okay, none of this is okay, it never has been and she just wants franke to shut up and see that, and if she cant then she’ll show her, she’ll show her all the raw angry desperation, with too much teeth and hands that claw and grab and she’ll know why everyones always said she’s too much.

and she knows this puts her on nils’ level too. that this makes her a cheater, that shes no better than he is now. no better than her father and his affair. but god, she wants to be selfish. she wants to be in control. just for once. she wants to feel right and she wants to feel happy and she wants to feel loved. thats all shes ever wanted. and franke will let her have that, just for a little while, at the very least.

anyway. sorry. sorry for being crazy . this isnt even getting into the shit after the comic takes place . elkas stupid brainworld thag she has to overcome in order to finally be allowed in the polycule and live happily ever as worlds first lesbian divorceman

sorry for all the shit i make up instead of caring about actual characters with screentime . bye !

[athycore]

“ How dare you…”

Twst wonderland dorm leaders with a daki!Reader(demon slayer) ft: Riddle, leona, Azul.

!They/them reader!

Riddle:

When he first saw you he was starstruck. The most beautiful thing he saw. He bumped to a pole due to staring at you too much. He would describe your looks as “something he has never seen before” or “They are like an aurora…” He found your beauty intimidating, he was scared to approach you. yet he did anyways. Safe to say, he was hooked. Your eyecandy looks, with your confident attitude really had him weak in the knees. He felt like he NEEDED to be by your side at all times…he felt worried that something or someone will steal you away, but he’s confident enough that you wouldn’t replace him. With his tight schedule he tries his best to see you as many times daily or he would go insane. He looks for flowers or rocks that remind him of you and apply magic to make 10x shiner then the average just to get your attention, hes a sweetheart and the very least you can do for him is stare in his direction.

“May i ask your name? You have caught my attention…”

“…ofcourse, i always do.”

Whenever you get together is up to you but he is the most respectful gentleman ever. He opens the door for you, kisses your hands, spoils you..and whatever he can do to make you feel like a goddess. He brings you the most beautiful roses, and treys best cooking just to get a glance at your mesmerizing face. But who can blame him? Everyone in NRC are awake of your presence and have set you as the face of NRC along side Vil.

Leona:

He saw himself in you, he wont deny, your looks are to kill for. Its your attitude that sets him off a bit. But its nothing he cant handle, he enjoys a women who acts like she owns the world because with him, you might as well. With his massive amount of money he spends on it with clothes to suit your pretty ol self. Expensive jewlery, the best food of your life, the silk dress along with a ring customized by him for you only. Although hes lazy, he would always make time for you, afterall, you are his and he is yours. He naps whenever hes with you, whenever you like it or not, he lays his big head on your lap when your doing skin care, or makeup, or anything realated that keeps you busy from looking down.

“I didn’t know which necklace to get you..so i got you all of them.”

“Awh..you didnt have too…(he definitely had to).”

Aside from that hs trusts you and follows your every words. Afterall he is a beastman and they have the moral of women notability that women should always be treated with respect. With that being said, it doesnt matter what you are, or who you identify as, he will treat the best. He believes you as above then everyone so kiss his head and remind him hes by your side.

Azul:

To say he’s obsessed is an understatement. Never in his life has he seen someone like you, gorgeous and cocky? Count him in. He approaches you with the intent to make a deal for you to sing or perform at monstreo but you dont buy it, you arent stupid. He walks you to class, buys you food, anything really just to try to make a deal. Its almost too much but its not like you dont mind, afterall, he is spoiling you without realizing it. He shows up at your dorm, on his knees, making the eels hold the boombox and a poster. Tho while trying to convince you, he fell for you, HARD. He doesnt realize it as he believes its all for business(its not).

“My i believe this should do the trick..”

“No. But i appreciate it!”

He simply adores you and wants to show you off. By doing so he offers everything to get on your good side, free clothes, designer bags, even those expensive figures. He wants you and everyone else to know that he only has eyes for you and that hes the first by your side. Your always there in the lounge of his office, while he works on his paperwork, you do your makeup or whatever and he cant help but constantly take peeks at you for you are simply to beautiful to resist!!

[marksmelodies]

stuck like glue

“tangled in love stuck by you from the glue”- glue song by beabadoobee

paring: chenle x fem! reader

genre: smut,fluff

warnings: mention of sex, oral (f), unprotected sex, cussing, kissing

note: i know chenle lives on his own but for the sake of this story pls pretend that he lives in the dreamies dorms lol

no proof read

minors dni

———————————————————————————————Chenle has been away on tour for a little over a month. Tomorrow him and the dreamies will arrive back to korea, you’ve never been more excited to finally see your boyfriend again,You already took off a few days of work and told your professors that you won’t be in class for a few days.Of course Chenle didn’t seem supper happy about you calling off of work and missing school just to see him But deep down he was excited to finally get some alone time with you

“I cant wait to see you lele, Daegal and i miss you so much” you say to your boyfriend over facetime

“ I miss my girls too, thanks again for taking care of her while i was away” Chenle says

“ It’s not a problem babe i mean i’m basically her mom am i not??” you ask

“ What?? no Daegal has no mom only a dad” he says

“ Oh right Chenle that’s why she wines and claws at the door when i leave the dorms”

“ You’re such smart ass Y/n”

“I really do miss you though babe,ask Jisung I talked his ear off every night about you, actually don’t ask jisung or any of the members anything.. forget what i said” He starts rambling and you notice that his ears are turning bright red

“And why’s that lele?” you ask with a smirk on your face

“ Uhh i may or may not have drank a bit to much one night after our show and accidentally spilled to jisung, mark and renjun about how good you are in bed” he says extremely embarrassed

Your eyes go wide as you audibly gasp

“ You did not” you say rather loudly

“ I’m sorry babe i was drunk i doubt they even remember it, i only remember so much i don’t know what else i said” he tries to defend himself, You start laughing uncontrollably

“ That’s actually hilarious, i never see you that drunk” you say making fun of him “You’re such a brat” he laughs

Once your FaceTime call ends with Chenle you tidy up your apartment that you both agreed he would stay at for a few days once he gets home from tour. You get ready to head to bed and say goodnight to daegal

“ Your daddy is gonna be here tomorrow!!” you say in a high pitched voice causing Daegals head to slightly turn, ears to purk up and tail to wag “ I know i’m excited too” you say as you pet her head and turn off the light ,It feels like hours have passed since you closed your eyes, it’s hard to sleep because of the excitement running through your veins,Finally you feel yourself drifting off to sleep

You shoot up and look at the clock that reads 2:45 am you woke to up the feeling of sweat dripping down your face, you realize that your whole body is drenched in sweat “ What the hell” you say in utter confusion as you get up to check the thermostat “ Why isn’t my air conditioner working” you say pressing buttons on the screen

You walk out into the hallway to check if air is flowing through the hall,Sure enough the hallway is cold yet your apartment is sweltering hot “ You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me” you say as you walk back into your place

Turning on every fan you can find and placing them towards you and Daegal it finally felt a little bit better but not nearly enough to spend anymore time other than tonight in your apartment , Once the morning came you called the tenant about the air conditioner “ What three to five days just to get someone to check it out?” you say baffled

“ Sorry ma’am our technicians are booked out for a while” the man says on the other side of the phone

“ Alright well thanks anyways” you say as you hang up “god this is not how i wanted my week to start” You called your boyfriend to tell him about the air, Chenle talked to the members and they all agreed that you could spend a few days at the dorm until your air conditioning gets up and running. you’ve spent the night a few times at the dorm but never more than just one night at a time, you felt bad intruding on the other boys place but living without air conditioning during the hottest season in korea was a big no for you

Once you got the text that Chenle has landed and is on his way to the dorms you begin to make your way there as well. Standing at the entrance a wave of nervousness comes over you as you knock on the door “ Y/n come in” Jeno says while giving you a big smile “ Hi Jeno it’s good to see you” you say

“ It’s good to see you too, Chenle is in his room” he says You thank him and head towards your boyfriends room knocking on Chenles door before opening it. Daegal jumps out of your arms running to her dad “ Daegal my sweet girl i’ve missed you” he says bending down to pet her “Uhmm” you clear your throat standing at the doorway as Daegal runs out of the room to see the other members

“ I told you she loves me more” chenle says laughing

“ Really lele i haven’t seen you in over a month and this is how you greet me” you scoff in annoyance

“ Babe i’m kidding come here” he says as he walks towards you engulfing you into a big hug

“ I missed my baby girl” he says to you while kissing the top of your head.You lay on his bed and let him get settled and unpacked before demanding his undivided attention,You lay on Chenle chest while you both talk for what seems like hours about his tour,He tells you everything from start to finish, and you excitedly listen to him.When you both are done talking he decides you two should go out and hang with the rest of the guys

Chenle walks to the door about to leave the room when he realizes that you aren’t behind him “ Come on babe let’s go” he says waving you over to walk towards the door

You don’t say anything

Chenle walks back over to you and you throw your arms up in the air.Chenle makes a confused face.He knows that what you want is to be held; He also knows that you absolutely hate pda and would rather die than to show affection in front of the other boys so why would you want him to carry you out there?

Chenle shoves his confusion into the back of his mind and picks you up ,He wasn’t expecting you to want to be carried but what shocked him the most is that you clinged onto him like a koala, he took both arms off of you to open the door and you’d stayed clinging to him with your arms and legs wrapped tightly around your boyfriend ,You laid your head on his shoulder as he walked to the living room where the rest of the dreamies were hanging out

The boys all look at Chenle as he walks into the room, never in the three years you and Chenle have been together have they seen any type of affection being given between you two,There’s been times where haechan jokingly asked if you and Chenle were really dating because of the lack of a skinship “ you guys don’t even hug around us, that’s suspicious is it not”

The guys say a lot with there faces but no one voices anything out loud, Chenle shot a “i don’t know what’s going on” look at them and sat down on the couch with you still wrapped around him.The dreamies decide to play video games and of course Chenle was down to beat them all, through the entire gaming session you stayed wrapped around him not saying a word. Although Chenle didn’t seem like it he was honestly pretty worried about you, you never act like this in front of people

Of course behind closed doors you were affectionate towards him, but even then you were never this clingy

“ Babe i want to get something to drink” he whispered into your ear,No response came from you, you just looked at him and put you head back onto his shoulder.He got up and walked to the kitchen with you wrapped around him, opening the cabinets and the fridge he poured himself a cup of water, while you stayed clung to him completely unbothered. He goes back to gaming with the boys taking his mind off worrying about you

Later in the evening Jaemin starts making dinner, usually chenle and Jaemin cook dinner for everyone,Chenle looks over at Jaemin who’s in the kitchen and gives him a “ i’m sorry bro” kinda look followed by Chenle looking down at you and then back to Jaemin,Jaemin didn’t mind though he grabbed Jeno to help him make dinner

“ Hey babe you wanna let go for a second so i can use bathroom ” he asks, you just shake your head no, with that chenle sighs and takes you with him,He puts you on the bathroom counter and you finally unlatch from him “ everything okay baby?”You say nothing, just give him a quick nod as he comes back over to the sink to wash his hands and you latch right back onto him.Chenle really thought he finally got you off of him, he just looked at you confused again and kissed your forehead while walking back to the living room

He ate dinner with you wrapped around him, he asked if you were hungry, you shook your head no,At this point chenle gave up just letting it happen, everyones so confused by what’s going on, especially since you hadn’t said a word since you came out of Chenles room hours ago

After dinner Chenle did the dishes with you wrapped about him, he fed Daegal with you wrapped around (him which was pretty challenging he’ll admit) he played more games with you clung to his body. The guys suggested watching a movie and started scrolling through netflix debating on which one to choose

“ You wanna watch the movie with them or go back into my room” Chenle asks hoping for an answer.You just shrug your shoulders while your head is buried into the crook of his neck.Chenle has honestly had enough, he doesn’t know what’s going on, are you just tired? are you mad at him? are you upset? you were perfectly fine hours ago what happened??He gets up off the couch and brings you into his room sitting on the bed

“ Baby look at me” he says in a serious tone,You lift you head up off of his shoulders and look up at him

“ What’s wrong sweetheart” he asks

“ Nothing” you say shortly.Chenle is visibly getting annoyed by your short answers you’ve been giving him for hours

“ Y/n you’re pissing me off i don’t want to yell okay” he says “ what is wrong my love, saying “nothing” isn’t going to cut it”

“ I just missed you lele” you said

“ Are you sure that’s all baby”

You nod “ yes i promise i just want to be close to you” Chenle looks at you and smirks

“ I can think of a few ways we can get a lot closer than you just clinging to me” he says smirking.You laugh and push him away, he pulls you back and smashes his lips onto yours,Tongues battling for dominance you quickly lose,he flips you around so that he’s now towering over you

“ You’re so pretty lele”

“ Says you angel, god i missed everything about you” Chenle whispers in your ear,lips attached his hands roam your body unbuttoning your shirt and taking off your shorts, laying there in nothing but your undergarments Chenle pulls away from your lips to look at you “ god you’re so beautiful” he says taking off your bra chenle kisses down you body leaving a trail of marks.He gets to your heat and looks to you for approval, you nod your head yes and he begins to take off your panties, spreading your legs apart and leaves kisses on your heat before kitty licking your pussy,you instantly throw you head back into the pillow and grab Chenles hair while arching your back Chenle takes that as a sign to go farther and fully dive into your cunt, trying your best to hold in your moans knowing that right outside the door were the other members

“Fuck Chenle that feels so good” you moan softly as you tug on his hair a little harder his eyes look up to yours giving you an eye smile while hes still working to get to you finish while licking stripes up and down your pussy Chenle pushes a finger into your hole roughly going in and out

Feeling a tingly rush throughout your entire body you knew you were about to finish

“ Babe i’m about to cum” Chenle removes his finger and licks up and down your clit causing you to release,Chenle keeps one hand rubbing circles on your clit while the other hand covers your mouth, you let out a loud moan covered by chenles hand, he knew better than to leave you completely ungaged, he knows you’re a loud moaner, he could tell it was taking everything in you not to let out the normal pornagraphic moans that you usually do. After he lets go of your mouth he goes back into your pussy to ride out the rest of your high leaving both of you panting, Chenle pulls you into a kiss having you taste yourself

“Chenle please fuck me” you beg

“ Babe the guys are right outside”

“ I’ll behave i promise”

Chenle looks at you suspicious not sure whether believe you or not, you begin stroking his hard member through his grey shorts, Chenle let’s out a grunt and pins your arms beside your head

“ Don’t be greedy ” he warns while pulling his pants off and throwing them across the room with his shirt that was already long gone, he pulls down his boxers revealing his hard length, you basically drool over his dick which causes Chenle to chuckle,He pulls your hips closer as you wrap your legs around his torso, he slowly pushes in, Chenle lets out a grunt as his dick slides into the tight walls of your pussy

“ Fuck y/n you’re so tight” he says while progressively moving in and out faster “god you’re so wet too” he says right before pounding back into you

He has one hand on your waist and other covering your mouth like before,You shut your eyes feeling your body going into a different dimension

“ look at me, I wanna see my pretty girl” you look at him and make eye contact while he’s fucking you so good,you can tell he’s about to nut by the way his thrusts become sloppy and he moves faster and faster while soft moans and grunts fill the room hoping the members can’t hear what you two are doing

“ Fuck baby i’m coming” he says as he slows down his pace, you feel hot liquid shoot into your core as he fills you

He lays down on top of you but doesn’t pull out yet

“ That was amazing Chenle”

“ You felt so good my love, you did so well for me” he said as he kissed your lips and pulled out of you,you both lay there for a little bit just soaking in the presents of eachother before he gets up and puts his clothes back on heading to the bathroom, he comes back with a warm towel cleaning you up and making sure you’re okay.After not having sex for a while you were pretty sore but it was nothing major and you didn’t want to make chenle feel bad so you just smile and thank him for cleaning you up .Once you both freshen up you go join the boys in the other room to finish the ending of the movie that neither of you were there for

As he was watching the screen you were watching him, admiring how beautiful he is and how lucky you are to be with such a good guy, you thought about how many girls would kill to be in your position and a sense of pride washed over you, you were proud to be his girl.

“ Y/N is everything okay” renjun asking about earlier,all the boys look at you and Chenle

“ Yeah i’m fine thanks” you reply smiling

“ She just wanted dick” Chenle blurts out

“ What the fuck lele” your face begins to heat up as you shove Chenle

“ Yeah we have ears ” Haechan smirks at you both

“ I don’t know what your talking about” you defend yourself

“ Right because the headboard slamming into the wall which happened to the this wall” pointing at the one in front of them with the tv on it “ was from you both jumping on the bed” Haechan says sarcastically,You burry your head from embarrassment into Chenles shoulder while the boys are laughing

“ I mean you guys did make the tv shake” Mark chimes in

“Shut up your all just jealous you don’t get any” Chenle states

“ At least we know they’re a real couple, i was starting to think it was fake” Haechan laughs

—————————————————————————

my first fic! i hope you enjoyed!! my requests are open for all of nct!!

[electraslight]

ben 10 2006 kevin arc: addicts arent good or bad. they can be kind and good and pure and everything a person 'should' be and circumstances can still align and draw them to addiction. kevin is a sweet kid who wants to make friends and is continually shown to be kind when sober, but even in his very first moments it's seen that his trip can drive him to hurt others and himself. he doesnt have any other choice though, because he couldn't survive without his addiction and the power that it gives him. this is understood, and yet ben's arc is about understanding that no matter how much you may care about an addict or a mentally ill loved one, no matter how many chances you try to give them, there comes a point where it is lethal for you to keep trying to help someone who cannot be helped. Ben gives kevin mercy, tools to help himself, and while their might be animosity about it, he really only wants kevin to be ok but even if you believe in someone with all of your soul, you cannot stay with them if they can't value you in the way you value them. Addiction is not a fault, but it is also not an illness that breeds nice people, and continuing to try and help someone who will hurt you for trying is less helping and more self-flaggelation.

ben 10 ultimate alien kevin arc: hey look at this horrible irredeemable criminal junkie lol. everyone can treat him like shit and ignore his feelings because he was on drugs once, and hes even been to jail!! isnt that horrible? doesnt he deserve to be the narrative punching bag? hes an ADDICT he can take it!! look at him getting off the wagon lol, isnt he awful for that? let's have his girlfriend and best friend call him ugly and have him get molested and enslaved!!! also when dealing with a partner going through a violent relapse its totally cool and romantic to 'believe' in him even when he is actively seeking you out to kill you. you should not distance yourself and get yourself to safety because thats LOVE and you can FIX him and ONLY YOU CAN DO THAT. we are a progressive show that has progressive politics

(these are my own interpretations btw i cant argue for intent only what i took away from it. but uaf's botched 'progressiveism' grates on me heavily when even ogs's villians are treated with more sympathy about factors out of their control than one og the teen main characters. ill make a seperate post about botched themes and whitewashing of actual issues later but focusing on this rn bc this is what made kevin resonate with me in the first place and i hate how they botched it)

[pop-punklouis]

I feel it's not fair at all, poppunk is not my type, On the other hand, I love Louis's voice in 1d songs, and back to you , and couple songs from walls album. And that's it, I don't have anything new to listen to from him. I know this is my problem and my musical taste and it's not Louis's fault. But come on do something like back to you that more people loved it, what's wrong with that? If we want to be logical pop punk has its own fans but they are in the minority.

I know his prejudice fans always says, that's fine, he'll be fine, don't worry about him, let Louis be for us, we don't want to share him, becoming number one is not his goal, but isn't it? Wasn't he happy when he was number one in the UK? I know the fans made it , but it's not like Louis said I'd be upset if I became number one and I don't want it and I refuse to accept it.

He says he doesn't care about commercial success, but who wouldn't want that. When you have the ability and talent, what's wrong with using it and singing a song that will bring everyone's attention to you? I really don't understand why Louis doesn't want to sing something that is popular with the majority of society?

1) this is such a weirdly self-serving ask of an artist like: “create music i want to listen to. if not, i cant listen to it and you’re not going to be successful.” perhaps, louis isn’t making music for you but for himself and if that isn’t for you, that’s fine. but that doesn’t mean he isn’t successful…..?

2) louis made mainstream pop music with one direction for five years. and tried his own hand at it for the first half of his solo career. he’d been in that world for a decade. and for his solo career, it wasn’t really that successful. and most importantly he wasn’t happy??

3) louis has made it abundantly clear that he didn’t want to make pop music. that his heart belonged in the indie rock/pop-punk scene. and always has. there’s been remnants of that in his style, his interests, and some of his music for years. he’s given countless interviews and talked himself about the pressure that was put on him to dress up as someone he wasn’t with these major record labels. to hide his accent. to create radio friendly music. to be a puppet on a string for them. he wasted years of his career dealing with that pressure and those contracts.

4) FITF, an album that was created as the most authentic body of work he’s released yet, is what got him the number one. it wasn’t walls. it wasn’t any of the strictly EDM work he released. it was FITF. it was an album that featured the sound that he loves and wants to strive towards going forward. it was louis clear vision babe.

5) louis has seen a growth in his career and his venue sizes that is exponential in just one year. and this isn’t because he’s releasing mainstream pop music. it’s because he’s being authentically him. his music is better. his tour is bigger. his presence is brighter. it’s gravitating so much good his way because of the content he’s creating and how it’s translating to his crowds and him as an artist. he’s a much more confident person than he was just a couple years ago. he’s a much more self-assured person.

6) FITF is part of the reason he’s being booked for these festivals now. it allowed him the growth in his fanbase and live shows to attract fests. if he was still creating music like Walls, i’m not sure if it would be shaking out the same way. and with how his music sounds now, it is open to attracting new fans especially in these big festival settings. most of the songs from walls don’t have the capacity to do that. and that’s just the reality.

7) there isnt just one metric of success. success has many different forms. numbers and charts aren’t the only way to succeed. and louis has lived in that world of success. he’s done all of those things. he’s hit those milestones. they feel good, but they aren’t a driving force behind why he does what he does. he does what he’s doing now because he’s finally being able to show who he is sonically. who he is as a lyricist. who he wants to continue growing into going forward in his career. he’s succeeding through his own journey in the industry. and he’s doing a damn good job controlling that for himself.

8) there’s nothing wrong with pop music. i love pop music. there’s a reason why pop music is popular. but asking your favorite artist to reshape who they’ve steadily been building themselves to be all because you don’t like the sound and you think they need to follow a one-dimensional version of success is….. sad lmao he has worked so hard to be where he is. to feel authentic in the music he’s putting out. and for someone to be like “um anyways i don’t like this. go back to what you were trying so hard to not be. i liked your music better that way” is just ????

9) indie-rock isn’t unsuccessful. it isn’t dead. it’s very alive and successful. genres don’t have to be pop or mainstream to be successful. give music much more credit than that, please.

[secretlilsis]

"And what would I know about love?" She asked him, her eyes clear - yet no vibrancy left in them. It was that moment he knew he had her. All his hard work had payed off. She was the adoptive little sister he had never known he needed. He needed her for himself, to help her heal, to see her look up to him.

"Everything I taught you." He said. She chucked bitterly, "You love me, yeah?" Her voice was sour. Yet she did not pull away from his embrace, lying close to him, feeling each others breath. "Well shithead, I know you *only* dote on me because you have something to prove to yourself. You need me to show you youre *worth* something afterall. Each time dad beats you, you come to me .. and I pick you back up again. And youre there for me. And youre devoted. And youre obsessive. But love?" He presses his body against her more tightly. Waiting to see where shes going with this, feeling slight tension in his jaw. "Maybe what you have to offer me is better than love anyways. Its as good as it gets. Its all I ever wanted." She then speaks, her voice cracking up, feeling vulnerable. She puts his hands between her legs, and his eyes widen in shock. "Ive been wanting you to fuck me for a while now.. Acting like youre some knight on a white horse.. Doting on me.. Protecting me.. Giving me everything ive ever wanted. I dont mind that youre my big brother, really. I want you anyways."

Her voice almost sounded like she didnt care at all, about anything. He knew she must still be in a lot of emotional turmoil and pain. Whatever had happened to her before she had been adopted into his family, surely had not let go of her. Carefully he started to move his finger to play with her clit through her panties, and her sweet voice vibrated against the nabe of his neck - he could make her sound like that. It felt satisfying to him.

"For christs sake.." She whispered. "I cant take it. I dont want dumb foreplay. Come on, show me your obsession then. Show me how you *really* feel."

He acted on pure instinct after that, he pinned her beneath him - roughly, yet still careful not to actually hurt her. Looked at her like he loved to do, and then forced a tongue-kiss on her, one that she willingly accepted. Fondling her breasts like a madman. Before he could think, he had undressed her and pushed himself inside her wet pussy. She was aching for him, he knew it. And he wanted her. He wanted to protect her, keep her safe - wanted to see her happy. Yet he also felt this impatience, this anger, this need to own, control and destroy... but seeing her willingly shake her hips to meet his dick faster.. all he could do was keep fucking her, and fucking her and fucking her. His hands wrapped themselves around her throat, before he himself recognised it. So gently.

"You want to do it harder, dont you?" She said as if it was obvious to her. He found it difficult to assess what the tone of her voice meant, if she was silently judging, if she was inviting it, if she was tolerating it. She had never made less sense to him than in that moment.

"Do it then. Do it as hard as youd like. Even if you choke me out one inch of my life.. I wont complain. I like that you want me like that. But love? No, thats not love."

"Its the love I am capable of." He only said in response, not even wavering, he did not push down on her throat and he did not choke her harder.

"I dont need to choke you so hard you almost die, you havent tried to leave me or betray me. Why would I need to do that to you? Im not sure you yourself understand how my love works yet. But youll have time to learn. Just as ill have time to understand you even better." Her pussy was squeezing his cock tightly, and her moaning voice drowned out any doubt she mustve felt, any reservation about him she might still have.

"I love you big brother.." She winced, sounding so in the heat of the moment. Sounding so aroused. So lovely. "I love you so much... Ive never loved anyone, ever, before.." He kissed her lips once more, forced his tongue inside once more, whilst he kept fucking into her wet and welcoming pussy. Feeling her body all over.

"I love you too." He said. She looked like she wanted to disagree, but she didnt, instead she just kept moaning for him, taking him, allowing him to fuck her as hard as he wanted.

Breathless they came undone with each other.

[haroldhearsawho]

what do you think about nixs exwife kathy? and his kid... like the fact nix is a dad i cant picture it but i feel like theres a lot of untapped potential there

I assume you’re talking about the characters in the show and not the real people and just my thoughts on what the idea of them in my head were like because I don’t want to speculate on the actual people and their lives too much.

But as for Kathy, I’ve always sympathized with her to an extent however it was very clear her marriage to Nix was never going to work and they were not the right match for one another at all. I know the real Dick did not like her at all and basically called her a gold digger who didn’t care about Nix or love him. He said she didn’t know how to love him right or care to figure out how or something. But we all know how he was very biased on this front lol. But yeah Nix was definitely a terrible husband to Kathy and didn’t treat her as well as he probably should have, but from what I’ve gathered she probably wasn’t completely innocent herself and also didn’t care about Nix or being a good wife to him all that much either. I also don’t think she had any qualms or illusions about what Nix might be getting up to while overseas or with whom, it was probably par for the course and an unspoken understanding. It was for the best for everyone involved even their child that they split up.

As for Nix being a dad and his kid… Yeah it’s very hard for me to picture Nix as a dad as well. I think it’s something that he really struggled with for a very long time too. He probably wasn’t there much for the first few years of his son’s life, maybe not even much of any of his childhood. Even when he was there or around he probably wasn’t a great father to be perfectly honest. (We all know he’s not a patient person by his very nature, for one thing.) It’s not even that he didn’t want to be, he just really didn’t know how to. Especially considering who his own father was and what a terrible father he was to Nix. Like the worst father imaginable, something out of nightmares. It’s understandable that caused him a lot of trauma that also affected how he was as a father himself. I think Nix feels very guilty about it obviously and often beats himself up over it, but he’s also convinced himself that it’s best for his son that he isn’t in his life at all so he doesn’t pass down his trauma and fuck him up like his own father did to him. I also think that he feels like he never deserved to be a father while Dick did and yet he’s the one who has a kid he never sees while Dick has no children even though he’d make a great father, and he has a lot of guilt over this. It especially pains him to see how good Dick is with his own son the few times they are together, and how much his son likes Dick. And he feels like Dick is a better father to his own child than he is himself. In my head one of the issues that Nix struggles with the most in their relationship is that he’s kept Dick from living the life he deserved and meant to have which was to be a father and family man, and he feels that he’s taken that away from him and hates that he can’t give that to Dick himself. It’s one of his main insecurities, that one day Dick will come to his senses and leave him and find a nice girl to marry and make his wife and then have lots of perfectly mannered little redheaded children. Which will also make Dick’s mother and the rest of his family happy of course as well.

In my head I also think that it’s Dick that eventually gets Nix to see his son again and be a much bigger presence in his life sometime down the line when his son is a bit older. Nix seems to take to fatherhood much easier and does a better job of it as his son is older as well. He usually goes to visit his son where he lives but as his son gets older he starts to come visit him and Dick where they live together and Dick is known as his Uncle Dick, and the three of them surprisingly get on very well together. Maybe his son even visits during a week in the summer when Dick has his nieces and nephews over as well and Nix likes to pretend during that week it’s like it’s their own family that they have together, this is their own little (or not so little) family that they could have together if they were like everyone else.

(Also I’m working on putting together a list of Winnix fics that feature Nix’s child and will post it for you as soon as I do. There are some very good ones out there!)

[definitelynotshouting]

i literally can't stop rotating hunger au worldbuilding and lore in my head. forgive me if you've ever touched on this in an ask before, but... re: the existential horror of being a parasite that has the sense of self of the host it ate. if one of grian's friends ever did get taken and used as a watcher larva host. how do you think he would feel about the watcher that came out the other side? would he want to see them as still the same person as his friend, or...?

Ive been staring at this ask since i got it with like. I need you to picture the most comically heartbroken expression right now okay. like this is me reading that and thinking about it in great and terrible detail:

Gods he would be devastated if this ever happened. He knows what thats like. He knows just how much it hurts-- and that its not a hurt that can be quantified, because its just that intense, that scalding, that encompassing of an experience to go through. I think, genuinely, Grian would be so utterly horrified and grief-stricken for whichever friend went through the Watcherification process that it would trump every other potential feeling on the list

But i think, ultimately, he would still view them as his friend, and treat them in the same way. There's a little bit of hypocrisy in Grian's character that i enjoy engaging with while writing him, and a good part of that in hunger au is centered around how he's firmly designated himself as the monster, and everybody else is the victim, and theres no room for nuance because he sucks and theyre the only people who are valid. When in reality, yes he hurt them, yes he did terrible and invasive things, but he did them out of pure survival rather than maliciousness, and that does make a subtle difference. And... hes not the only one who has fucked up, either!! The entire point of hunger au is how everyone has fumbled the bag in various ways and now they're all trying to clean it up together. Its just, yknow, Grian is so wrapped up in his own pain that he cant see those grey areas yet

And the thing is, if one of his friends got Watchered™, so to speak, and was standing in front of him, i think he would treat them with SO much compassion. Theyve been through possibly the worst thing anyone can experience and come out the other side-- at his core, Grian is i think a character who wants to do good, and do good by other people, and in this hypothetical that would translate into a lot of kindness he doesnt usually afford for himself. Honestly i think he'd spend the time trying to show them the ropes, get them set up in a better position than he found himself in, and provide his own fumbling emotional support as best he could, just out of sheer solidarity. Like, he gets it. He's been there. He may as well help out.

And i think he wouldnt even realize how hypocritical he's being until someone else pointed it out to him, about how he treats this friend with so much care but is simultaneously cruel to himself. I dont think he'd know how to handle that-- he's sort of dug himself a rut in the road with the way he thinks about and treats himself, and the cognitive dissonance would be really uncomfortable for him. Ultimately a good thing!!! Growth is often very uncomfortable. But imo Grian has a tendency to run from things like feelings of discomfort, so i think it'd take him a while to reconcile his previous ways of thinking with whats being presented in front of him essentially in the form of a mirror.

So uh. tl;dr: he'd be a little hypocrite about it and would feel a lot more compassionately inclined towards the friend than he does himself, and would try to help them out as best he could. Thank you for the incredible question that has given me the opportunity to rotate this worm at even higher speeds than usual inside my brainpan DKNFEKNDSKDJKDKD

[not-5-rats]

@puffin-smoke tried to out angst me on my own scenario post, they have started a war, a war that they cannot win

Ik it's less than a day since my last questions/scenarios post! But I have more! (Traitor! AU Chester has been on my mind ever since I posted that-)

1) What's your Bugs favourite thing about themself? (Haha positivity bet you weren't expecting that 💥💥💥)

2) How good/bad are their reflexes?

3) How likely are they to resort to violence?

4) Would they prefer to be; loved or feared?

5) Scenario #1!

It was a silent night, most people were asleep or atleast in their beds. All except one, Bug was on the couch as they couldn't sleep, something was keeping them awake...a worry that they just couldn't shake

So they remained awake on the couch, just trying to calm down. Then they heard a thud from one of the rooms, they were concerned so went to investigate. They went to where they beard the noise and found themself at Chez's door, they knocked but when they got no response they decided to let themself in. So gently pushed open the door and stepped inside

There stood Chez, fully dressed, a bag packed with all his belongings. There was also a note on his desk, on the envelope it read 'farewell'. He seemed startled when he spotted Bug and tried to think of an excuse for what they saw

"*Bug*! Shit, I thought everyone would be asleep by now- I...I-"

He couldn't think of an excuse, Bug stared from the doorway before asking the obvious questio of what on earth he was doing?

"*Bug*, I have to go, I can't...I cant stay here...I want to, but its not safe"

They ask him to explain, he seems to break slightly, his voice shaking as he continues

"Cause I bring bad luck! Everywhere I go bad shit happens! People die, people get hurt, they struggle all because of me! And I've tried to change, I try! But I can't! I can't change!...and I don't want any more bad things to happen to you guys, you've had enough hardship in life...so I have to go"

He grabs the bag and walks over to the doorway where Bug is stood

"Let me go, protect yourselves"

What does Bug do?

6) Traitor! AU (continued on from last post!)

(cw; spitting up blood, injury, death talk)

After Chesters betrayal the group was trapped but by some crazy luck they were able to make another escape

They got out and made their way back to the swamps, Lora wasn't a huge fan of staying around by she decided she didn't really have any other option. Things were peaceful...finally, all of them lived away from the town, happily together. No Hunters, no harm, no drama, just peace.

It had been a month or two, and Bug was going on walk to collect some resources. They followed the river to a spot where they knew certain fruits grew and that's when they saw it.

A figure, crouched beside the river, trembling violently. They took a step towards the person, calling out to them and asking if they were alright. The person lifts their head, their blond hair draped over their face sheilding them from view (mostly-), but their eyes still peirced through, those purple eyes...

"*Bug*-"

They barely recognised him, Chester Markins, wtf was he doing here! The hurt they felt when he betrayed them came back to the front of their mind, they couldn't believe he dared show his face around here again. They stormed over to him ready to beat the life out of him

They grabbed his collar, they saw what a wreck he was. His hair was a mess, tangles galore, a bold contrast to how much care he used to put into his hair. Blood and bruises coated his skin, so that it was barely visible anymore. His eyes bloodshot...yet empty as he stared up at them

They yelled at him, trying to figure out why he did it, why he betrayed them like that, why he dared come back...and finally why they shouldn't kill him right here

"...they...they blamed your escape on me, that's why I'm here, they won't let me back into town until I bring their...their creatures back"

He coughed, blood dripping from his mouth as he rushed to keep explaining

"I'm not here to hurt you...any of you, not anymore. The..relief I felt when I heard that you got out. It made me realise, none of you deserved that...and I'm sorry. I know you won't forgive me, fuck I wouldn't...I just needed to know you guys got out of town okay"

He smiled, at least he tried to, he was so beaten that his mouth barely moved...but it was clear he was trying.

"I understand...if you still want to kill me, I encourage you to do so. So go ahead...take your shot"

Kill him Bug, he's an asshole, a traitor, he won't change...and he's gonna die anyways, look at him, he'll bleed out in hours.

Kill him Bug

(I love making shitty characters <3)

☆---------------☆

Tags -

@rozeliyawashereyall @willowve01 @asmrbrainrot @kaiamtt @iistxrmyskyii @insignificant-anarchy @stxph-artist @aspenm00n @keyaartz @fangsshadow @rustycopper4use @piffany666 @dreamyshape @idontevenknow7878 @lunaritychuwolf @littlesiren79 @castbracelet240 @strayharmony943 @proxdragon @tiefling-chaos @threeweekinsomnia @recated @wilderrorcard @diamondzoey @fennaboysenberry @lunnats @lightdragon789 @pinkcocopuff-aqualoid @itsargyle @astralbulldragon13 @ccstiles @puffin-smoke @fruity0salad @takashishihoin @reefhastoomanyaccs

[calciumdeficientt]

Wade and Tom hcs pleaseeeee 🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽

I lov u wade i lov you tom. I actually have a whole post of tom hcs that you can check out here:

but i for sure have a few left in the tank!!!!!!1! Im gonna spritz some of my remaining tom ones, release my wade ones unto the world and then zoom in a little on their relationship >:D

TOM GURNEY AND WADE MARTIN HCS

TOM GURNEY

Skin picker. Big time skin picker. He just cant seem to help himself, its sort of a nervous tic. If he could just leave his fucking face alone for five minutes his acne would have cleared up a long time ago. Most of the marks on his face are actually just scars because he wont stop PICKING!!!!!

Saw the hobo get beamed up after the last fighting moves mission, i know this is pretty much canon atp but i think what would make it so much more batshit is if it had happened in BROAD DAYLIGHT. And no one other than tom gave a fuck. He comes out with all kinds of stupid conspiracy shit on the daily so no one even thinks to try and argue. They’re all like “yeeeah okay buddy whatever you say..”

Very emotionally mature, because of this he’s very painfully aware of all his shortcomings. He’s a good dude at heart but its aside pf him people never see. He’s pretty well renowned as the clique tapper, but honestly, he only talks so much because he doesnt wanna worry his friends by being all quiet and mysterious.

WADE MARTIN

MAAAAAAJOR little brother syndrome. He and Christy are only a year or so apart (possibly projecting bc that’s the gap between me and MY brother) but he gives me the vibe of a little kid who feels the need to show off because he’s younger. His general demeanour and outlook on the world tells me that he’s sort of crying out for attention and to some degree, help. He talks a lot about repeated suspensions, and the fact that no one seems to care about them anymore, and also the fact that he’s not doing all that well in his classes. He’s a kid that neeeds intervention, a firm shove in the right direction… and maybe some counselling. He’s practically jumping up and down on the spot yelling ‘LOOK AT ME! LOOK AT MEEE!’

More family hcs, but he and Christy only share their father. They have different mothers. Both women aren’t really in the picture beyond what the custody laws state they have to be. Christy’s mum left her with their dad when she was a baby, and Wade’s mum was his side piece. They divorced when Wade was 11. He hates both their guts for separating in what was a pretty tumultuous transition period in his life. If I’m getting my numbers right, 10-11 is the transition from elementary school to middle school. It was during this time that Wade started to struggle, he was a gifted student in his early years, and thus was left to his own devices. Because of that lack of support, his grades slipped and slipped and slipped, he just barely passed the entrance exam to get into Bullworth, and then started outright failing.

His hyper sexual voice lines are a way of deflecting away from how he really feels. Encouraged by his father, Wade feels he has to be this big, macho guy. He’s been brought up by his dad to believe high school is all about chasing tail and finding someone willing to have your kids straight out of the gate. In his head, Wade’s not about that at all. He wasn’t quite ready to be a man, he’d have liked a few more years of being a kid. Manhood is this big, scary, complex thing that he’s not ready for yet.. especially if its anything like Mr Martin tells him it is.

Takes great pride in his hair, but he does dye it. You can’t be a ginger bully, that’s like a spoon with holes in it or concrete scuba flippers. It doesnt work, its weird. It’s ugly. He and Trent do their hair together, he trusts Trent with it more than he trusts himself, the kid has been bleaching his own hair since he was 12, he’s a professional. And besides, he’s not gonna pay someone in a salon to dye it, what if he gets caught????

WADE AND TOM

They’re very close friends, I think wade was one of Tom’s first friends at Bullworth, back when he was this scrawny, quiet kid with a big ol birthmark over his eye. Wade had intended to beat the crap out of him to show him what was what, he looked weak and easy to snap. All brittle like a wafer cookie. Upon seeing his eye, Wade wrongfully assumed that someone has beat him to it, and knowing what a tumultuous home life could do to a kid, he invited Tom to come sit with them at lunch and he just… never left.

They really remind me of Troy and Abed from community dynamic-wise. One emotionally mature, but mildly childish dude (Tom) and one smarter than he appears meathead (Wade). Where they differ from Troy and Abed is instead of building blanket forts and acting out TV shows, they give swirlies and smoke cigarettes like they’re going out of fashion. “…” “…” “you wanna go do burnouts in the train yard dont you Wade” “Get OUUTA MY FRIGGIN BRAIN MAN! How’d you know that?!” “Lucky guess.”

Closer with each other than anyone else in the bullies clique. They lay on the roof after curfew and talk. For HOURS. They’ve been doing it for so long now that they’ve started smuggling sleeping bags and blankets up there so they can just sleep once they’re done. Wade likes that he can be open with his troubles about home., his many many troubles. Every day there’s a new home trouble. Tom talks about his fears about the secrecy at Bullworth and his theories, he feels like Wade is the only one that even bothers to TRY and see his point of view. Wade cries a lot during these little almost-therapy sessions. And Tom is right there with him, patting his back and wiping his tears. It’s cute.

Garage band duo. Tom is the drummer, Wade plays the three power chords he knows on his busted up hand-me-down Stratocaster that can barely plug into the amp anymore and really desperately needs new strings, and screams into the mic. It’s pretty hardcore, but it doesn’t actually sound all that bad. They work pretty well as a two piece and have played a total of four gigs, but its always been foe them anyway. They don’t wasn’t the gig money or the fame, they just wanna rock out.

[psychicsolanum]

TUA S4 SPOILERS

I have so many thoughts after finishing it.

yet I feel so empty lmao.

I'm gonna put my disorganised rambles under a read more if anyone is interested and/or wants to scream with me about it

umbrella academy is one of, if not, my favourite show ever made for its storytelling and unique art direction yes, but mainly its characters and their dynamic, like everyone who loves this show.

i love the fluffy sibling relationships and how their trauma affects how they live and behave with one another. everything is built off of the characters!! it's never revolved around love interests unless it made sense and I really loved that. patch (mostly), dave, ray, lila and even Delores tied into the main cast's arcs and pushed the plot forward in a way that I thought was really satisfying and didn't take away too much from the family dynamics that the show focuses on.

so why did they choose these random romantic relationships this season to focus on? I thought the twist about Ben's death was actually great and unexpected personally, (and i loved seeing the kids go out on a mission; i always wanted more flashbacks to their childhood) but to boil it down to a virus that made him fall in love with someone he just met? that's so boring and so unlike anything they've done before imo!

also what happened to sloane lmao. I know basically nothing about behind the scenes stuff but what was the point of having her and Luther get together last season if they had no plans, I'm guessing they must have and the actress didn't come back?

and I feel like hargreeves' grand plan that caused everything in this show to happen feels so anticlimactic now. I mean I guess it literally meant nothing now. this feels like life is strange all over again but worse lol.

Klaus! thank god he exists in this series. what a breath of fresh air any time he was on screen. i never thought i'd be so relieved they threw him into another side quest lmao thank god he wasnt burdened by the main plot too much. I don't mean to say I'm completely happy with what they did with him, they started this arc of like, not letting his powers define him and finish his transformation that he's been continuously going through since s1, but because the show ends with everyone killing themselves it just kind of fizzles out? still love him and his careless whimsy, i thought the way he got his powers back and the scene following it was really good. as always wish they explored it moreeeeeee ughhhhh. Omg they never did anything more with the void or God either. I loved that stuff :(((((((((((

I cant even think about the five and lila stuff without getting mad so I'm just gonna say: fuck you for that. what the fuck were you thinking. why. why. why. in my head five is aroace and moves on with his life, maybe takes up golfing idk. who cares. anything else. HE LITERALLY SAID "I WANNA FUCKING KILL HIM" ABOUT DIEGO IN THE LAST EPISODE?!?!?!?!? and he hid the way home to her children from her for months???? I like the very end of the plotline where it explained founder five, very Loki, but that could have been accomplished without the 7 year romance...............

I think the 6 year time jump reallllyyyyy did not help this season at all. it just led to all the conflict with Allison being resolved instantly and her only story being the one klaus is living with. also wtf was going on with her powers why did they just give her telekinesis thats way more boring than her rumours! I like the tiny bits we got with klaus and allison but it was so short! with the time jump we missed so much development, most of them feel like completely different characters for no real reason. the only thing we know about luther is that he became a stripper, and viktor owns a bar in canada i guess??? these guys were most of the main plot in season 1 and they were so one dimentional this season. i feel like we barely got to get to know Claire or Diego and lilas kids which would be fine if the rest of the plot going on with the other characters was good and engaging, which i felt it wasn't. I don't even know the kids names apart from Grace, which is very cute ill give them that.

The show ended with the main cast doing a group suicide. ceasing to exist. none of them getting to heal.

I'm sorry I don't want to be a hater and I really do hope that some people loved this season but im just so sad lol. i liked the first couple eps and I really love these characters, judging by twitter I'm not alone in my disappointment though lmao. what was the potential s5 gonna look like?!?!?

I loved klaus and Allison a lot and we got little snippets of greatness, I want a spinoff of them now!!!!!!!

I'm excited to hear other people's opinions, maybe I'll see other perspectives and feel a little better haha.

klaus 4ever 🖤☂️🖤

[jemmo]

i cant tell you how much i ADORE this first episode of my beautiful man s2. there’s something about the pace of it, especially in hira and kiyoi’s interactions, the quick back and forth, hira saying something, kiyoi catching him out, hira backing down, kiyoi getting mad about that, hira stuttering to try and say the right thing. the way they interact is this seemingly endless cat and mouse going in circles around this big, huge centre thing that is ‘the point’. they both want to convey so much but neither can put the plain and simple words to it, hira is too much and kiyoi is too little. and yet they still have these moments, when they let the plain truth slip, hira saying you’re just too cute, or kiyoi earnestly asking hira not to leave him, it peels back at their true sentiment that’s always being danced around.

and the thing is, if you didnt watch the first season, this relationship could so easily be seen as bad bad really bad, the way they almost bicker and get mad, how kiyoi appears to pick at hira and gets mad so easily, how hira acts more like an avoid stalker than a boyfriend and always seems on edge or off in his head catastrophising. some people still might. i can see how it can be a difficult relationship to digest. its weird, awkward and uncomfortable at times, and almost absent of the usual softness of a bl couple. but thats why i adore it. because i think its so important and interesting to portray a different kind of relationship, even if maybe exaggerated to fit the king and servent original premise that hira still holds onto. bc the thing with these kinds of relationships is it doesnt matter what we think of it, whether we like it or think its ok, its about the people in it. some people are just different, they act differently, and interact differently, and thats ok if its ok for the people involved, and thats what i think the case is for hira and kiyoi. obviously they still have problems, this relationship isnt perfect, and i think this series is gonna show that, but thats also ok. just bc a relationship isnt perfect, doesnt mean it shouldnt exist. there has to be something there in the first place for it to be worked on. and there is. at the core of it all, these two people really really love and care about each other, they just express it differently, and maybe need to learn how to express it in a way that makes it easier and better for the other to feel it. maybe hira needs to let kiyoi off that pedastal, and maybe kiyoi needs to not view his feelings as this weird, gross thing. but that takes time, and i think is truly worth it.

and what makes it work and so thrilling and interesting to watch as a show is that kiyoi and hira somehow both encourage that detrimenal behaviour but are also so incredibly good for each other, and good at challenging that behaviour. hira wants to see kiyoi as a god and kiyoi wants to be loved, so he can be that godly figure. you can see it in this almost entitled way he acts, pushing hira around, even when he just sits down in the rocking chair, above hira, very mch the image of a king and his bowing servent. as someone that was starved of love as a child, he laps that up. but its when his feelings grow for hira that he realises he doesnt want to be some god or king, he just wants plain and simple, human, equal love. so he ends that scene lying on hira’s lap, lower than him, airing his insecurities of being abandoned and asking hira to stay with him, very much that lonely child wanting someone else’s love. not devotion, not sacrifice, just love. and its his feelings for hira that allow him to push hira in a good way, challenge him, bring him out of his shell, which he desperately needs. hira is so stuck in his head that he hasnt reared his head enough to learn how to act like an actual person. so used to blending into the background, he doesnt know how to be his own person and not an object or a piece of the furniture. you see it at the party, that he doesnt know enough small talk words to get through a conversation, let alone actually be himself and interact with others on an equal level. thats why he takes on this servent role, bc he’s never seen himself as enough of a person to be anything else. he can only be made real when characterised by his actions for others. kiyoi’s rejection of these roles means he can challenge hira to step up, to be on his level, and in that find himself. there’s hints, you can see it, in his love of phtography, when he talks about the moon, when he’s around others and even kiyoi and they have these softer moments where it feels like hes breathing and calm instead of stuttering and panting through an interaction and his brain is running a mile a minute. kiyoi has seen it too, and thats why he fell in love with him. ok, maybe he likes his eccentricities too, but he sees a person that he wants to be with, on equal terms, and in that he wants to pull hira up and see him be himself, realise himself as a person, just as much as he has to step down. and they dont explain these things plainly, voice that they want to help each other in this way, but you see it so clearly. its the subtext of this almost other language that they speak together thats full of twisted meanings and hidden intentions, at the heart of it is, like i said before, actual love and care for each other. do they need to get better at it? yes. but do they need to become our idea of a normal relationship to do that? no, absolutely not. after all, hira will always be hira, and kiyoi will always be kiyoi, and if they lost that, they’d lose themselves and their love for each other. so stay weird, stay unconventional, and stay yourselves, my beautiful couple. 

[mister-mickey]

Tim x Darry headconnons plz (like if they can get married or what is it like if they have an adopted child) SORRY TO ASK SO MUCH I just love this ship and its really my favorite one

THANK YOU🙏🏻

Omg tarry is my favorite pairing, I have made these little ship headcanons as well (tarry hcs)

BUT onto these ones

They mostly bond over being both the leaders of their respective gangs and over taking care of their younger siblings ❤️

They are terrible with emotions, communication between them is like pulling teeth 😭

They also have a hard time with each others siblings. Darry CANT STAND curly and is scared of Angela. Tim gets along with both pony and soda but anytime he gets them into trouble darry gets mad at him.

He’s really rather not piss his beau off

They’ve known each other since they were kids (thanks to living in the same area) but were never friends. It was only really after Darry got more involved in greaser stuff that they got along lol

Tim can’t cook for shit. He tries but it sucks so bad. Darry keeps trying to help him but Tim is unhelpable.

Darry is aware that Tim can handle himself, but still gets protective when ppl talk about him. Tim gets mad every time (but also does the same thing)

And omg I’m all the way into this list realizing that I did not answer the other part of the question so I’ll do that now

So for marriage (not legal for homos in the 60s sadly, so I’m sure it’s just a celebration among friends and family) it probably takes them awhile. I can’t imagine either of them really wanting to settle straight away. Maybe they’re in their late twenties/early thirties

Tim probably moves into Darry’s house after pony and soda move out (and after angie and curly are well off enough to be alone)

Tim probably stops gang life in his twenties, just because he gets older and more mature (and not cool anymore) darry stops once the others stop.

For the wedding, again, family and friends. Probably in the form of a cookout at their house. They get rings but I don’t think either of them wear them (they don’t seem like jewellry wearers. They probably keep them on chains around their necks)

Pony officiates lol. Idk I just feel like he would. Soda cries the whole time (Steve has to physically pull him off of darry)

I imagine dally and curly pulling some sort of nonsense at the wedding to piss Tim off (yes I’m choosing to keep dally and Johnny alive)

Tim’s gang isn’t really his family, at this point in his life, he probably doesn’t even know them anymore. So it’s just curly and Angela at the wedding for him.

Darry ofc is the one that people came to see (mr star of the show)

As for a kid, I’d like to say they probably wouldn’t have one, at least not for a while. They both raised their little siblings, they aren’t eager to do it again.

BUT it’s also cute to imagine them having a baby (especially because of how tim is canonically good with babies)

Idk where they got it. Maybe it was left in their doorstep, idk. Fact is, they have a child

Tim wants to be the cool dad but darry has taken that spot without even trying.

Baby adores darry because he’s strong and can throw it in the air ❤️

Tim is jealous ofc. He’s way cooler than darry, the baby just isn’t smart enough to see that yet

Baby still loves him a lot though 🌸

They’re good dads. Not perfect ofc, but they love the baby and the baby loves them.

Now as for the baby’s one million uncles and one aunt.

Angela LOVES the baby. Like, darry is worried she will steal it. She’s always trying to get the baby to say her name (baby calls her “Ana”)

Twobit is next on people taht are obsessed with the baby. I’m sure he has his own kids (seems like the type tbh) but the baby is DARRYS kid. He can’t wait until it’s old enough to be a bad influence on

Dallas is not allowed near the baby because Tim refuses to put the baby down when he’s around (he thinks dally will somehow corrupt his >1 year old and make it dally jr)

Soda is the best uncle by far. He and Johnny are very soft with the baby. Soda is, however, guilty of dropping the baby. He is no longer allowed to hold the baby.

Johnny is scared to hold the baby, but once it’s walking he will play (very gently)

Steve, curly, and pony are the babies worst enemies. Baby fucking hates them so much and it breaks their hearts.

Baby bites steve any chance it gets. Hits him, grabs his nose (which everyone else thinks is adorable but Steve sees it for the attack that it is) Steve has no clue what he did but the baby is his #1 hater

Baby doesn’t like pony. Wont even look at him. Pony adores the baby and this rejection hurts.

Curly and the baby tussle quite often. Baby loves yanking his curls (getting its grubbing fingers tangled in, as someone with baby experience, ow ow ow) if the baby pulls his hair, he pulls the baby’s hair right back. They are sworn enemies.

He loves the baby ofc but keeps a careful distance.

Baby grows up to be an okay kid. Can’t do anything without darry or tim finding out since they both know EVERYONE.

Idk someone name the baby my brain is mush

[eomma-jpeg]

In The Meadow - Music Analysis

i said i was gonna post bc i love music analysis and i love my beloved characters, so if you too have an obsession, then this is for you.

The Playlist

I think I may just go down the line

The Meadow - Nickel Creek

This song was one that i just happened to be listening to when I started writing ‘in the meadow’ but i liked it and the kind of… building and dynamic of the relationship in the song that I decided to use the song as inspiration and where i get all the chapter titles lol

Ultimately the relationship in the song doesn’t go anywhere, but the narrator still hears that person they decided to fall in love with, and they use the echo of a voice in the meadow as their reminder and it just,,,, i liked it so much and i still listen to it multiple times a day lol

You and Me - Lifehouse

So this song is specifically on here because of this comic by faestorian

It just…. Yeah, there’s not much to say except its from Knives perspective… and I love him and how easily distracted he is by her.

Not Strong Enough - boygenius

This song,,, just has Knives written all over it. Specifically these lines

I don't know why I am

The way I am

Not strong enough to be your man

I tried, I can't

Stop staring at the ceiling fan and

Spinning out about things that haven't happened

Breathing in and out

I just think it shows Knives’ overthinking and eventual kind of decision that he thinks he’s not enough for her or could never be worthy of the kind of benevolence she gives him, and so he’s trapped in his own mind about stuff

The line ‘i don’t know why i am the way I am’ is repeated throughout the song and… i just felt like knives is always asking himself why he is this way even though he knows but at the same time he doesn’t know why he and vash reacted so differently to the same trauma and its just so frustrating for him.

Also the line ‘Always an angel, never a God’.... thats a good line, especially in the knives context

Liar - Paramore

So liar was on here initially as a millyons song, but has since undergone a vashmeryl transformation, so the song applies to the both of them

Its just a song about how you tried to hide things about yourself from the person you love to keep them safe, but ultimately you realize that the person who you wanted to keep safe was the one doing the protecting, and you don’t know why you ever needed to lie to them

I love this in a millyons context bc i think Knives at first tried to hide himself from Milly, and then ultimately realized ‘why am i doing that? She’s only trying to help me’ 

It takes a lot for the boy to accept help

In a vashmeryl context, its the both of them… but mostly vash

They just cant figure out why they tried to hide from one another, when its obvious they care so deeply

This second verse is so good for vashmeryl

I got too good at fighting chemicals

And dodging arrows I was asking for

Wading through the fog and then it disappeared

Naked when I'm here

And why should I deny what's all

At once, so crystal clear

And i just really like paramore a lot

The Bomb - Florence + the Machine

This song,,,, geez

I initially liked this song for knives and milly, but it works so much better as a song from meryl’s perspective about vash. 

It just is told from the pov of a person who has fallen for someone who never does any good for themselves, always getting hurt or hurting others in the process. The line 'unavailability is the only thing that turns you on’ is so raw and very good for meryl as a person who just thinks that vash lives in this constant of ‘i want so many things i can never have’ and thinks he can never have them

And yet meryl is always there to try and give him anything

And then the second half of the song it switches, the narrator is now explaining that that is what they have fallen for, the destruction and unavailability and the chaos

They just love to convince themselves that they love each other for the worst reasons.

Savior Complex - Phoebe Bridgers

So savior complex was added to accompany the idea that Milly herself has one, and this song is just one of my all time favorites and I needed it to be included

The relationship in the song is kind of implied to go poorly (as most one sided savior complex relationships do) but i love the lyrics to the build up

Crocodile tears, run the tap 'til it's clear

Drift off on the floor

I drag you to the shore

Sweating through the sheets

You're gonna drown in your sleep, for sure

I think,,, these lyrics relate quite well to how milly felt in the beginning of ‘in the meadow’, just desperate to help and seeing his own desperation for something different, a change, and Milly decides she going to do whatever it takes to help him through it

Crave - Paramore

I just love paramore. I’d put their entire new album on this playlist if i could

This song is uhhh from Knives’ perspective and his just desire to remember everything about Milly. Every moment of every day is just, he craves it. He wants to be near her even if he doesn’t quite understand why.

The song also delves into like, unhealthy practices and how you still crave those terrible times because of the familiarity,,,,,, and if that isn’t knives i don’t know what is

‘I romanticize even the worst of times’

(You) On My Arm - Leith Ross

This song is just a silly “I would do anything for you” song from Knives’ perspective.

It just talks about the most mundane things and being in love and im just a sap for knives becoming a sap for milly.

Apple Pie - Lizzy McAlpine

This song AHHHH for vashmeryl !!!!!! THE ONE SHOT T-T

It just is about a person who is your home away from home and how no place could be complete without this person and despite moving around and finding new adventures and new beginnings, you wouldn’t be able to do it without that one person

I think that vash is like that about meryl

The story is told from the perspective of a person who is constantly moving and changing, but they need that one consistent of the person they love, and vash is very much that way for me about meryl; he needs to return to her, or at least keep her nearby

Some day we can be in the same city

Some day we'll be grown and I'll be fine with packing up

Cardboard boxes filled and sad farewells

And I'll be fine we'll pack a bag

As long as I don't say goodbye to you as well

I think, eventually vash realizes that home is not a place, because he’s never really had a home except for the seeds ship, and meryl becomes that comfort for him

It’s Alright - Mother Mother

This song… is a doozy

So the main voice of the song is someone overcome with guilt, just unable to kind of forgive themselves for whatever mistakes they’ve made, which I really liked for knives, but the most important part is the second chorus !!!!!

The first chorus is from a first person perspective of the song’s author, but the second chorus is from an outside perspective !!! And I like to think of it as milly comforting knives during moments when he doubts he can be a good person

It's alright, it's okay, it's alright, it's okay

You're not a monster, just a human

And you made a few mistakes

It's alright, it's okay, it's alright, it's okay

You're not gruesome, just human

And you made a few mistakes

Please just,,, listen to the song and tell me the verses don’t just SCREAM knives

Eraser - Ricky Montgomery

So this song i haven’t had a lot of time to dissect this one, but i think its just kind of a perspective of milly trying to comfort knives despite his flaws and feelings of guilt. The first verse is just the narrator figuring out whats going on, and then it moves into the chorus which provides kind of a solution, stating that the “eraser” doesn’t have to ruin their life over something so small.

I just like the comforting aspect. The voice of the song is convincing their target that everything is okay, and even when its not they can work it out together, avoid anyone else and just breathe

Hate to See Your Heart Break - Paramore 

Soooo this song is just chapter 23,,,,, and the both of them (mostly milly) just aching inside because she can see his heart breaking over and over again and it kills her inside, so milly just provides solace and comfort in the fact that thats what being a human is. Sometimes it hurts so much, but she’s there to remind him that there is light and she wants to be that light T-T

For all the air that's in your lungs

For all the joy that is to come

For all the things that you're alive to feel

Just let the pain remind you hearts can heal

My heart hurts anytime i listen to this song cuz i can just see like,,, milly comforting knives in any given scenario, desperate to convince him of the good and hating the pain in his expression

A New Kind of Love - Frou Frou

I really like this song for Vashmeryl because its kind of a dance of the mundane, as well as finding the love within

Because the first verse of the song kind of dabbles in the way the love becomes a branded thing, just something you buy or is fleeting, but the voice of the song and whoever they are addressing find a love despite this new kind of love

I just like vash and meryl finding each other in that classic kind of love, and just eventually realize theyve both fallen hard for one another

I also like the verse that talks about how busy each person has become, and the kind of mundane act of disregarding the person you love because you’re afraid of the outcome…. Yeah

Agoraphobia - Autoheart

Yeah this song was put on there specifically for knives and his innate desire never to leave the house again,,, just kind of lock himself away from the scary aspects of the world and life.

Slow Dancing - Aly & Aj

I love this as a vashmeryl song, specifically them getting to know each other after years of knowing each other,,, y’know?

Just the heartfelt act of having been around one another and having fallen deeply in love, but now they have to relearn how to interact, how to behave when someone isn’t hunting you down or chasing you from town to town. 

And they both realize it doesn’t need to be fancy or extraordinary,,, it just needs to be real.

Iris - The Goo Goo Dolls

Okay, this song is on everyone’s ship playlist, and it often ends up paired with vashwood, but I liked it as a song from Knives’ perspective for milly

Especially the chorus

And I don't want the world to see me

'Cause I don't think that they'd understand

When everything's made to be broken

I just want you to know who I am

Knives ultimately doesn’t care what anyone else thinks, they don’t have any say in what he does or doesn’t do, but he does care about milly and what she thinks and how she’ll react, and he knows he can always turn to her for comfort, because thats what milly is… pure comfort. 

And for the first time in his long life, he wants someone other than Vash to know everything about him

Make You Feel My Love - Adele

Milly and Meryl energy in this one !!!!

Initially i had it as a milly song, where she kind of wants knives to know that no matter what she’s going to be there for him to comfort and offer support whenever

But i do like the idea of Meryl being like,,,, im going to make you understand that i love you no matter the circumstances, rain or shine i will be there and you will accept it because I love you, you DUNCE

Never Ending Summer - Wes Reeve

Uhh i added this song mostly for vibes and because I liked the idea of Milly saying ‘kiss me hard, touch me soft on the weekends’

:D 

It’s just a lovely song about like,, love blindness and i think that milly and knives will suffer from that for a bit

Graceland Too - Phoebe Bridgers

So i added this song purely for the line ‘Whatever you want me to do, I will do’, and then the repetition of ‘whatever she wants’ because i like the idea of this song being from Knives’ perspective as he watches milly kind of… unravel ? in moments when she’s working too hard or needs a break from the world, he wants to be there for her. 

I just love the idea of unfailing love… and uhhh we won’t read to far into that.