#because at least when you're a kid being bullied because of your race. you can lift your chin

[katierosefun]

not me being fully transparent about law school life as a queer woman of color, but like. literally started tearing up in front of my school’s dei officer lmao

[doshiart]

F1 AU // GALLAVICH

Ian Gallagher is a racing driver, a young star of the McLaren team. Mickey is just a car technician, who only recently joined the team as a trainee.

/long read backstory below/

Okay, I've thought about this a lot. So.. Shameless US but.. huh? living in UK?

First of all, because Formula 1 is more popular in Europe. Secondly, because I want to alter the story of Mickey's growing up. Make it a story about a little boy persevering towards his dreams. And how a simple childhood passion can grow into a potential job opportunity.

If briefly, below I talk about Mickey's developmental stages, along with his final emigration from Ukraine to the UK.

I'm not going into Ian's backstory here. But I'll mention this in more detail at the very end of the post, if you get to the end. Ha ha. Have fun reading!!

---------------

Mickey was six, just a little boy, when he first saw a F1 race on TV. And he was amazed by how quickly the cars could go and how quickly the mechanics performed at pit stops. (Are these even mechanics? Well, they turn the wheels, dad does the same thing in the garage and considers himself a mechanic).

When the next year he went to school in his first grade, then to all the teachers' questions or questionnaires with their “What do you want to be when you grow up?” he confidently answered as clearly as his childish language could, that he would definitely become a F1 mechanic. Even though he received only gentle smiles in reaction to his naivety of being a kid, the desire took root in his little head.

---

As he grew older, he continued to enjoy racing, watching every race weekend he could. And while he was a child this did not cause any particular problems. Mom encouraged him in his interests and every New Year gave him tiny branded cars of the teams he loved. But as he gets older, the more often he hears from dad that he is interested in some stupid things. And he didn't want to hear a word about racing at all. As soon as Mickey mentioned it even once, he was cut off mid-sentence.

These are not real cars.

Real mechanics work in a garage with real cars, not kids' toys for show.

Come down to earth. It’s all somewhere far away and you never even get to one of these races in your life.

---

Well, Mickey talks less about racing out loud anymore. Especially after mom's gone.

Tiny model cars disappeared into the closet's darkness.

His dad began to drag him into their garage more often so that he would get used to work and not wander around idle, lost in his stupid dreams. He had to skip live racing broadcasts as a result. It was sort of suicidal acts to turn this on in the garage on a small TV instead of some dumb music channel with hit songs. Mickey had learnt long ago to keep his mouth shut.

Just listen. Bring it. Grab it. Repair simple details. Don't go under the hood. Don't touch this, don't touch that. And especially don't break anything. Blah blah blah.

Jesus, are you even a man? Take your gentle hands away if you're not ready to get dirty.

---

Despite everything, Mickey still had a dream. One day, he hopes to watch a real-life race. Hear the noise of wheels flying over the track, the roar of engines, the screams of a supportive crowd. He prefers to never talk about his own desire to work as a car mechanic or engineer in F1.

---

Mickey was sixteen when he left after ninth grade for a vocational college to applied mechanics specialty.

Because, well, he had good reasons for leaving school two grades early. At the very least, he was already tired of going to school. He didn't even have any friends there. Yes, he communicated with classmates, but that's not it. It's forced. Just so as not to be an outcast and maintain the status of the Milkovich family by playing dirty tricks at school and bullying others. Did he like it? Absolutely not. These guys were idiots with stupid jokes and always picking on chicks.

They kept asking if he liked any of them and talking about how they looked all the time. Mickey never liked anyone. It wasn't that the girls were ugly, he just didn't find them attractive. But he pushed these thoughts away and ignored them. Left it somewhere near to the tiny race cars in the darkness.

Also, classmates called him into fights on regularly. Not that he was against kicking someone's dumb ass, but that he would prefer better reasons than just trying to prove whose class is above.

Another reason is that, in their family, working with their hands and having a real profession are more valued than going to higher education. Because this is a job for real men. Where will all these managers, lawyers, accountants, stupid psychologists be when their car breaks down? Mechanics will always have work and profit.

As well, Mickey is deeply curious about the workings of the engine and wants to fully understand its mechanisms. He will therefore be able to study this in practice with teachers, rather than with a psychotic bastard who screams at the slightest opportunity.

The only thing Mickey truly wanted to learn at school was English. Not because he loved it. This gave him at least some hope of "breaking abroad for the sake of a good life". Perhaps the main reason for his success was that he had a really great teacher who pushed and encouraged him. Sometimes he would stick around after class and stay just to talk with her. Mickey felt parental care, which he hasn't received lately.

“I believe that you can achieve a lot, Mikhailo. Just believe in yourself.” She told him and he believed her, hugging her a little longer so as not to show his wet eyes.

And well, after leaving school, these words sometimes came to mind during the saddest times, when he returned home after a long day of school combined with an exhausting shift in the family garage. Every time he spoke with his dad, he felt terribly devastated. The dream was literally slipping out from Mickey's hands. A pipe dream, is that what they say? Well, at least he'll try to do something.

---

Mickey was twenty when he graduated and by this time he was actively saving money, hiding it in different places. Also, he planned his escape from home, considered the best routes, and looked at what things he should take with him, confused about whether he would ever return home again.

As he approached his twenty-first birthday, he finally decided to do it. With only a spark of hope, he was ready to leave for nowhere. And okay, Mickey was a realist; he was aware that things might not work out at all and that he would have to return back eventually. But he'll do anything, though, to make sure that this doesn't happen, to avoid having to meet his dad's derisive gaze once more as his goal gets mocked.

After all, a dream is a dream, right? He also had skills and language abilities in his pocket. So he's really ready to do anything to attain even the tiniest success.

---

To get to UK, Mickey had to go through a long journey of transfers from bus to train, from train to plane. He's terribly tired, but here he is. He stands and watches as the new country greets him with heavy rain.

He first found it difficult to adjust to other people's smiling faces. There were a few times when he didn't feel at home because everyone was so friendly and lovely. And these people were incredibly talkative. He'll have to get used to this if he plans to stay here.

The first difficulties he encountered occurred at the department while filling out a form for migrants.

“Mik.. Mikai.. Mikaelo?”

“Mikhailo.” Mickey interrupted.

The employee's eyes stared blankly at him.

He sighed. “Ugh.. Mickey? Yeah, Mickey.”

“Okay, Mickey. Here you are.”

---

Mickey got a job as a mechanic for a small business fairly quickly thanks to his abilities. He was so easily and warmly accepted into the friendly team. Here he first felt respect while working. Mickey got assistance from the job department in extending his visa to stay in the country. His job also provided him with a tiny apartment, deducted from his paycheck.

After a while, feeling a little more self-assured, Mickey started saving money for qualifying courses that would help him in the future.

---

Mickey was almost twenty-four when he successfully obtained all the qualifications that were necessary for the job, as well as to be sure of himself and his knowledge. During this time two full racing seasons had passed. He attended only one race at Silverstone. This was his almost full year in the UK. His skin broke out in goosebumps when he saw the track in person. It wasn't quite what he expected. Mickey literally stood in one place and once in a while cars would drive by. On TV they show a larger overview, but still. He was excited. In this grand prix, a new young racer from the McLaren team took third place for the first time. His name seems to be Ian, and he likes to take risks on the track, driving the car while presenting a strong sense of confidence. And his hair perfectly matches with the team's car.

He missed the second race due to a qualifying exam. But he's not upset. Mickey is closer than ever to his dream. If everything works out, he'll see even more racing. If not, well, then he'll continue to work repairing regular cars. Perhaps he'll be able to attend grand prix events in other countries during his holidays?

But now it's the middle of the season and he's standing in the lobby of the McLaren Technology Center. He's trembling a little and his wild eyes are scanning everything in the immediate area.

Mickey can't believe the reality of what's happening. No he didn't become a mechanic. But.. it's still impressive. He was interviewed and tested to become a temporary vehicle technician for the team as an intern. He was told something about a possible career advancement and access to other things once he completed more qualifications, but he's not sure he heard everything correctly.

Later they tested him on team tests on the track. He's surprised that he was able to concentrate on his speed and did everything exactly as needed.

He actually became… exactly the one who changes the wheels and does minor repairs. He joined the technical team and will also work on pit stops during the races. And well, okay, if everything that's happening isn't a dream, he's really happy. Extremely happy. Of course, the longer he studied, the more he wanted to do engineering and development. But that's the tiny step, right? This is already more than anything he could have imagined. He saw the race in real life from the stands, and now he got the opportunity to see everything from the staff. He'll interact directly with the racing car. He might even hear how the team interacts with racers. Unbelievable.

Through the noise in his ears, Mickey hears someone standing beside him talking in a muffled voice.

“Hey! You're a new technician, right?”

The guy had already taken off his helmet when Mickey turned around. He softly smiles while stroking his fiery red hair.

Mickey stared at him. When he was brought to the track, he thought that some tester was sitting in the car, but not their young star.

“Yeah. Hope so…” He twitched his lip and scratched nose. “You're Ian, right?”

Of course this is Ian, what a stupid question. It's too embarrassing.

The redhead smile became even larger.

“Yeah…”

And just as he was about to add something else, one of the staff called Ian to go back and he hurriedly turned to Mickey and said quickly, “Oh, uh, see ya later then, gotta go.”

---------------

I'm glad I finally wrote and drew this. This idea has literally taken over my head so much that I don't have the energy to write Ian's backstory in the same way. Once again I am convinced that writing is hard work. And I want to say again about my love for writers. YOU ARE INCREDIBLE. For my brain, drawing is easier than writing. But it was fun!

!!!AND!!! THE MOST IMPORTANT THING! If someone suddenly wants to write a big multi-chap slowburn fic or little drabble or do anything, I'll be happy so much with absolutely anything!!

---------------

Let's talk about Ian now. I was actually going to write a backstory for him too. Maybe at least some minor notes, but I'm not quite sure how best to connect his bipolar with racing. Usually because racers drive go-karts from childhood, get into the junior league and generally build a racing career for years. Maybe he had a breakdown somewhere between seasons and it was quickly noticed?? I don’t know… And I think about how the team constantly checks him, which at times upsets him and forces him to prove to everyone that he is fine and able to drive the car.

Most likely, in this AU, Gallaghers are either rich, or Ian has a sponsor, if you know what I mean… From this fact, a whole lot can change in story. And the second thing seems more likely to me.

I was thinking about how Ian joined the McLaren team at the age of 21, and by the time he first met Mickey he was 22. He had been stable for a long time on medication.

So I'm also considering the possibility that somewhere between his 17-19 years he disappeared from the radar and came back when he found a sponsor who could pay for everything he needed and help him get into the F1 league. At first it was the weakest team, until his potential was noticed and he was offered to move to another team. This fact with the sponsor will probably put a lot of spokes in the wheels (ha).

Racer's body is undergoing an enormous physical strain, so they spend a lot of time in the gym. And Ian really enjoys working out with his team.

Another interesting fact: racers have a super-strong neck to be able to cope with gravitational forces during the race. Therefore, special attention is paid to neck in training. (It seems from the moment I found out this my little fixation began…)

---------------

I think there's a lot of pining here or something. They seem to be nearby, but due to different job responsibilities, at completely distinct levels. And I really want to read something like this with so slow burning.

So, I guess you can consider this as a big prompt for writing, if it inspires you.

Thanks for reading! <3

[burgerrat]

@hofnarrofficial said: gimme everything you got just bury me alive (only if thats possible ofc lmao)

Ok.

Turbo's favourite movie is Herbie: Fully Loaded

He has ALWAYS been flamboyant/effeminate like you see King Candy being. I hate seeing people portray Turbo as this perpetually grumpy/angry bitter person all the time all because of the revelation scene being the one 'real scene' we have of Turbo in his original form. The reason why Ralph wouldn't recognize the similar behaviour pattern is because he didn't know Turbo well enough since he rarely ever left his own game unless it was to go to Tapper's to have a root beer and brag about winning to anyone who'd listen (mainly Felix). Need a 'draw/write Turbo being silly and goofy like King Candy is' solidarity.

Contrary to popular belief, he does like the color pink- he just has a very specific preference for that particular salmon shade of pink.

Turbo and the twins all had racecar beds to sleep in back in TurboTime.

Candybug's desire to take over the entire arcade at the end of the movie is his new cy-bug coding speaking; all Turbo has ever wanted is to race again and be in the spotlight. He would struggle to control his bug instincts not just in terms of resisting beacons of light but also in terms of acting upon intrusive thoughts in general. Mix that with anger and hopelessness that he'll likely never be able to drive again in this new form and you've got the perfect recipe for disaster, because what more does he have to lose?

Do not misunderstand: I too dislike the trope of 'he's just misunderstood' since that is far from the truth, but that doesn't mean he can't have moments where you feel empathy for him (at least in my case): you are programmed to be the protagonist of your world, the best, that is your sole purpose in the life you have. You become addicted to the attention you recieve- foolishly not thinking once that it's possible that may not be the same thing tomorrow. Once that is suddenly taken away, you don't understand why- you're the best. And because you are the best, instead of processing your losses normally, you won't let go. You're instead determined to take back what was rightfully yours. By any means possible. Making the biggest mistake of your life- you kill not just your neighbors but your own home out of impulse. You are to blame for the choice you took- guilt becomes rage, rage becomes bitterness, bitterness becomes calculative; why cry over spilled milk? The damage is done, and your code is desperately crying out to do what you were made to do: race. All you can do is start anew... don't dwell on the past if you want to have the spotlight again, processing your mistake doesn't matter anyway; and so, once a new racing game is in town- you'd be frothing at the mouth to hop in after decades of isolation, wouldn't you? You'd do anything, if you were that desperate and awfully selfish.

This leads us to the following: Turbo had a mental breakdown during his years of isolation, mainly because he was unable to race; this is why he laughs and giggles no matter the mood he's in as King Candy. It's a form of tic.

This might be a bit OOC? But whatever. Hilariously enough King Candy is a somewhat decent(take that with a grain of salt, I'll elaborate in a moment) fatherly figure: he treats the SR racers like they're his adopted kids. I say somewhat decent because of course he completely excludes Vanellope and because he picks favourites; Taffyta, Rancis and Candlehead are his golden children and because of that, he's sometimes willing to swallow his pride and let them cross the finish line before him.

Taffyta is VERY competitive and sometimes will get unreasonably aggressive to win and that's something KC admires in her because it reminds him so much of himself and the bond he used to have with the Twins, especially when competing. Another reason why Taffyta bullies Vanellope is because she knows King Candy dislikes her wish to compete and she feels like this is something that would please him regardless of his approval of it.

Again maybe kind of OOC-ish but I sincerely don't think Turbo outright hates Vanellope herself like. As a person; she has done nothing, but she does pose a threat to blowing his cover and he is not going to allow her. The one thing that bothers him a lot about her is her stubborness to race and always finding a way to weasel into the Random Roster Race. During the tunnel scene where he straight up becomes violent towards her, you can tell she's never seen him this angry to her before; this leads me to believe he never blew up on her before because, regardless of how much of a threat she posed for him; in his mind- he figured she likely would never really be in a situation where she would actually cross the finish line, and she's just a child, so why bother? Of course. That is until she sprints right past him on the race track and the rest is history. (And I have to clarify again I AM NOT justifying his actions; there is no 'justifying' any of it. This is an observation because of the reactions/expressions/etc. seen in the scene.)

Writing that previous hc reminded me of this and I just had to include it because I can SO see this happening 😭 it's hilarious and wholesome in a way.

I saw something about this on @king-crawler 's blog and I feel like I should bring this up bc it rubbed me the wrong way: I donno about you but to me, Turbo programming himself as King of Sugar Rush is not ego thing (not the main reason behind it at least!); it's to avoid suspicion in general within the game because ALL of the SR racers are children. It would be suspicious and really fuckin' weird to have a character programmed as an adult that isn't an NPC/side-character like Sour Bill or the donut cops to just be among them like nothing, regardless if he wipes their memories they (or other candy subjects) will question it. He's not stupid, in the game there's supposed to be a royal figure, no? So, it'd make perfect sense for that figure to be a supposedly 'wise' King that looks after all his subjects and makes sure rules aren't broken. So to me it's less of something done out of selfishness and more of just being able to go by unnoticed, he programmed himself as King to fit in with the whole 'monarchy' concept within SR. At the end of the movie when Vanellope says she doesn't want to be a princess, you get a little glimpse of how much the candy subjects depend and rely on a 'higher figure' to function.

As King Candy, he believes himself to be cute. (adding this side note just in case bc I shit you not this is genuinely something people have argued and mocked me over: don't come at me for this. I have my opinion, you have yours and I'm not going to change it for you; as a fan for a whole decade who has known in tge past other fans, there ARE people that find him cute as I do /gen /lh) He shamelessly indulges in that and he WILL use that as a manipulation tactic to get what he wants- sometimes playing with your emotions as well by tugging at your heart strings and overall painting himself to be a 'frail silly old man' in sn exaggerated manner so you'll give in to whatever he wants- and once you agree suddenly the 'frail' old monarch has an outburst of energy and joy, completely shedding off this fragile-pitiful facade.

Turbo has somehow rescued the Turbo Twins before his game was unplugged and I have evidence to prove this:

He has their codes tucked into his own (bad example I know but kind of like how an opossum mom keeps her joeys in her pouch); he keeps them in a dormant state this way by not allowing them to have separate code boxes of their own. The reasons behind this are simple: he doesn't want two characters that very obviously don't belong in the game to roam around freely, he has enough trouble with Vanellope as it is; and he knows that if he lets them awaken and respawn, they will criticize him for the path he chose to go down- and he doesn't want to deal with that because, for him, it would be pointless and it'd only bring frustration he doesn't need. He would rather keep them as ghosts of the past hidden in his pocket.

Speaking of Vanellope: Turbo is awfully envious of her driving skills, she's the first racer that has bested him on the track. Another selfish reason why he doesn't want her to race- goodness forbid a child beating you at what you're passionate about and arriving in second place.

When overly emotional- be it positive or negative feelings- King Candy would sometimes temporarily glitch back to his original form as Turbo because his code is old, filled to the brim with stuff, it's bound to have a few crack and tears here and there, like an old but still functioning car with a rusty engine; this issue has only accentuated after the glitching-exchange during the tunnel scene.

Speaking of which- because there were little to no censorships in 70's videogames, Turbo bleeds. It's pixelated blood because it cannot be processed through the programming of Sugar Rush since the game was not made to have any graphic themes in it. If one of the racers gets hurt- they quite literally just bleed coding.

Turbo often smokes.

Turbo sometimes gets sick of eating nothing but candy and will send out Sour Bill to get him something salty to eat from another game. He has his own little stack of junk food and other non-sweets within the castle.

He's not just the King of Candy, he's THE LORD OF THE DANCE! (watch at your own risk I warn you /hj)

CURSED JOKES ASIDE I unironically like to think he is a good dancer. Nobody beats him at tap-dancing and The Bus Stop. (He's from the 70's so it'd make sense he's familiar with a lot of funky/disco dance moves)

[muggle-born-princess]

Lessons Miraculous Ladybug Taught Me:

It's okay to stalk someone or be creepy around them as long as you're female and have trauma to excuse it.

If you hit on someone and they tell you no multiple times, keep hitting on them regardless! Eventually, they'll come around to you.

White blonde rich girls are always racist, even if they say something out of ignorance. Oh, and if one of their supporters is an implied racist themselves, that confirms that they're indeed a racist. (Despite the fact that you can't control your followers/supporters)

It's okay to cheat on your spouse and have a child from that affair. Especially if you were in a different city and you never once brought up said child.

Grown men that abuse or neglect their kids? You can easily forgive them! 14 year old girl that's an asshole for being a brat and having mommy issues? Worse than Putin/Satan/Hitler/Stalin!

If you're a sentimonster, commit genocide and stalk a girl all you want! You'll redeem no matter what! Oh and bonus points if you were abused as a child as well.

It's never the parents' fault if their kid grows up with entitlement issues.

Plus, if your kid is a spoiled brat, don't realize that you were the problem, force them to live with their abusive relative! That will show them!

Lying to your parents to stalk a boy in a different country is a-okay as long as you tell them it's for your family roots.

Trauma excuses males and nice people only. Never females; well only the nice girls are excused.

Always believe a girl you just met not even a day ago over your best friend that you know longer than life itself.

If you're in a toxic friendship, don't stand up to yourself or leave them to realize that they were a shitty person! Wait until they replace you with someone else to do it!

Teachers suck when it comes to handling bullies. Instead, they'll victim blame you and expect you to do their job for them.

It's okay to pull a traumatic prank on a girl who is in love with you. You'll eventually get a girlfriend.

And when you do get a girlfriend, tell her that some other girl is prettier than her in front of her own face.

Rich White Boy wanting to kiss a POC girl without her will and her POC best friend is holding her hands to let this happen? What a great comedy!

A girl's trauma is hilarious until her bully was the cause of it to begin with.

Rich white men are much redeemable and easier to forgive than rich white women.

Your friend is acting creepy and stalkerish towards their crush? Help them explore that behavior even more!

Strangled by the Red String is always the Number One ship no matter what.

The creator making a self insert of himself just to stroke his ego for pity points is a good idea.

It's okay to leave your twin sister (we retconed this moment because what we gonna go about it) and your mom alone and go travel with your father who abandon you and your sibling in the childhood.

You want to murder a bunch of people based on race? That's fine! At least you're not bullying someone!

And if you find a girl who happens to be in your race, who changes your mind on genocide? Wonderful! That totally makes up for attempting to kill people!

Terrorizing people and abusing your family is fine as long as you love someone!

If you've hurt a bunch of people, that's fine because you can just reverse it all, and it'd be as though nothing happened!

Tell me if I'm missing something. ^_^

[ametrictonofaudacity]

...You have a horse? You work with a horse? Why am I just now knowing this? (Though possibly you mentioned this before and/or you're talking about q fictional one and I am just a moron)

Agahshs yes!!

We actually have quite a few horses!! My mom owns them, and when she adopted me, I started working with them!! I’m not super experienced yet, but I love working with horses even if it makes me anxious sometimes!!

We have four total. Jedha, Phoenix, Granata (or Granny for short), and Fanta! My mom’s worked with horses for a super long time so she has a habit of getting ‘problem’ horses and keeping them, and by fucking god do these guys have personality.

Jedha is our lead mare, and despite being in her like 20’s (ish) that is an Old Lady. She’s been used for barrel racing, and god help you if your on her and your mom decides to set up barrels while your ON her. That horse may not move for much but she will move for barrels. And treats. She will bully the other horses out of their treats. She’s an amazing horse, and honestly so desensitized to shit that you could stick a small child on her and if the kid were to try and fall off, she’d adjust her weight to keep them on.

Next up is Phoenix! He’s my sisters horse, an Arabian! We got him from an abusive/neglectful home, and when he first arrived he was scared of everything. Giving him a bath was a nightmare but he needed one. He’s been with us about a year and a half or so now, he’s 5 I think, and now he’s a big dumb idiot. He wants to know EVERYTHING you’re doing. He also gets jealous if me or my sister pet the other gelding, Granata. We have to use the buckstrap for him a lot, and recently we’ve had issues with him being buddy sour, unfortunately. (See my previous post about Granata’s dumb ass)

We move on to the dumbass in question, Granata! Previously he was our neighbors horse, who got them from another person. He’s a retired racehorse but good luck telling him that. If you so much as nudge this fucker he will go. He’s also honestly the best behaved out of the herd tbh, he stands perfectly for haltering, walks good, you don’t have to chase him, etc. He acts more like a big dumb dog than anything else, he’ll even come to his name.

Finally we have Fanta! It’s technically short for Phantom, which she got from her previous home, because she refused to let anyone touch her. She’s mine (technically a foster but my Dad doesn’t know my Mom plans on keeping her for me lmfao) and she’s a chestnut mare! She’s got two very pretty white socks on her front legs, as well as some Arabian in her. Which.. not the best idea to stick a new rider on an Arabian and a red mare, I’m aware, but she’s also super young and needs a gentler hand because she’s super young and has only been ridden a total of two times, both times by me.

I had another horse, Eloise, who was also a red mare, and I loved her to pieces before she got adopted out. She was super smart, although tbh Fanta is smarter and she’s super curious, and super sweet. To me at least. She did try to bite my Mom.

I may or may not have a weakness for red mares. They’ve just got so much personality! Granted the personality can sometimes be bitch, but it’s still personality!

[womanofwords]

STEM Kids Shenanigans (Chapter 31)

Chapter 31: Checking In

Melanie walked the halls with her head down. Around her, people whispered about her, giggling and speculating about what sorts of stunts she would pull next. Some pulled away from her with disgust. She had lost everything now. Sonia obliviously walked past with her own friend group, talking happily with them and not noticing Melanie. Even Sonia had friends and she didn't. This was awful.

When she took her customary seat at the front of the class, people shifted away from her, as if she was infected with something that nobody else wanted. She was a social leper.

On her way to her new art class, she was accosted by Stephan. "You and me need to talk," he said, smirking at her.

"About what?" she asked.

"Your shameful secret." He paused to snigger. "What else is there, really?"

Melanie sighed. "What time?"

"At lunch. Make sure nobody knows you went to see me. You have no idea what else a couple of little birdies told me."

Melanie's stomach spun. What else had he found out about her? She had a lot more secrets than the one that Stephan was holding over her head. She, Melanie Sainsbury, had ruined lives.

Before the STEM club had existed here, Melanie had seen dangers in all kinds of kids. They looked shifty, they talked weird, they coordinated clothing, all sorts.

Her mother had always hated when she did this, but they were just being so weird. People acting weird were often hiding things from people, bad things. So she raised awareness, and people acted on her word. People left neighbourhoods, schools, friend groups because of her.

It was all coming back to bite her now.

In her new art class, nobody wanted to sit next to her. The substitute didn't seem to be able to control the class, and it showed. But at least it meant that there were no conversation to carry on with the nitwits around her.

After the lesson, she was accosted again by the four STEM club kids. "Melanie, we need to talk to you," Dante said.

"Why?" Melanie asked.

"It's about Stephan," Angelo said. "Are you OK?"

Melanie rolled her eyes. "Why do you care?"

"We know he's blackmailing people," Angelo said. "And you too. He probably has dirt on everyone."

"You . . . know?" Melanie's throat went dry. "How?"

"We overheard a conversation you had," Layla asked. "If you need help with anything regarding bullying, you can just-"

"This is everything that I was trying to alert people to. Don't think that you can just make everything better with your science stuff!" Melanie yelled, drawing a few stares.

And she stormed off to see Stephan.

(PAUSE)

"You're late," he said, as she sat down.

"The stupid STEM kids wanted to talk to me," Melanie said.

"Well, you're here now. Let's go through the list, shall we?" Stephan got out a folder with the name MELANIE SAINSBURY on it. "We all know the real reason why you hate the kids from that STEM club, don't we? You tried to be in that club and you failed."

"Shut up!"

"You know it's true," Stephan said, grinning at her. "You tried oh so hard, and for what? To be beaten by kids that were smarter and better? To be humiliated?"

"Shut up!" Tears raced each other down Melanie's face. "Why do you keep doing this to me? I tell you something once and you find everything about it and - and rub it in my face!"

"Like you were above blackmail," Stephan regarded Melanie with a smirk. "You used me to get proof of other people breaking rules. You're just as guilty as I am. And it's adorable that you think you're not." He laughed as Melanie sobbed more. "That's all I have to say to you. Now get out."

Melanie wiped her face with her sleeve while leaving. Stephan was just cruel. As she was walking to a classroom where she could reliably be alone, she bumped into Angelo, of all people. "Hi, Melanie," he said, like they had no bad blood between them.

"Hello," she said, looking him up and down to see if he had anything on him that he could use to commit crimes and mischief. But all he had in his hands was a plastic box full of . . . shortbread cookies. "Why are you holding cookies?"

"My mom baked a lot of these," Angelo said, looking decently embarrassed. "Want one?"

"No."

"Sure? They're good, and I'm not allowed to eat all of them." Angelo took a bite out of one of them in front of her.

"Quite sure," Melanie said, running away. Those kids have become even weirder, she thought to herself.

To read the other parts of this fic, see Masterlist.

[6knotty6thotty6]

Non-Furry (Normie) Friends

There’s a tweet that’s been circling around that’s caused some interesting discourse. 

Here’s the tweet (along with the sub-tweets due to the character limit):

“Every furry should have at least a couple of boring normie friends to keep themselves grounded in reality tbh. 

Generally speaking, I don’t think it’s wise to surround yourself ONLY with people that exist within your niche. Diverse friends is good, I like my boring friends :)

This was meant to be interpreted as “sometimes hang out with people who like boring stuff like sports and cars”

This doesn’t mean you should try to be friends with conservatives and bigots, thas a completely different discussion

aight i see now. my biggest mistake was using the word "boring". obviously these normie friends should still have common interests you guys share. i mainly meant people who arent all about anthro animals/do not associate with the furry fandom. thats all. muting this now.”

This tweet is a mixed bag for me. Obviously, I don’t blame the writer of this tweet. Character limits make any intelligent discussion borderline impossible without just copying and pasting a twitlonger. Some of the comments though show me that some people just fail to realize why some people joined the fandom in the first place. 

At the risk of sounding cheeky, the answer is most of us joined the fandom BECAUSE we couldn’t make “normie” friends. Here are some reasons why:

1. Some people live in small towns where public transportation and sidewalks either don’t exist or are only available in cities. Gas is more expensive than ever, so driving to see friends isn’t a sustainable option. Befriending co-workers is an option, but certain workspaces are so hostel and competitive, it makes friendships more of a liability. It's even harder if you're a different age, race, gender, sexuality, etc from the majority of your co-workers. This is an example of how even "normies" don't like making friends out of their comfort zone. These are especially true with jobs in Corporate America when bosses will hold promotions over people’s heads and force them to see their co-workers as enemies to gain superiority over. Social spaces that don’t require spending money, in general, are almost nonexistent. So if you’re too poor to afford to hang out at bars, coffee shops, or gyms, then there really aren’t that many good options for adults to just hang out and meet people. There are clubs for adults, but almost of them require money for entry, and again the ability to transport yourself there. Volunteering is also an option, but some people's jobs are so time-consuming and stressful, that people are too exhausted to spend energy anywhere else.

2. Many furries were traumatized by non-furries from being bullied in school. Even now in 2023, kids are still being bullied for being furries. School can be a real social nightmare for children who aren’t considered “normal.” Any iota of difference can be grounds for bullying. I’m sure a lot of people had that one “weird kid” in their school that everyone was told to say away from. I doubt that “weird kid” was gonna grow up to be a social butterfly. Cliques are also a big deal. If you weren't in a clique, you didn't have friends. I didn’t fit into any cliques in my high school. I wasn’t smart enough to hang around the AP kids. I was rejected by several sports teams for not being able to keep up, so hanging out with the sporty kids was out. I was in band, but the teachers discouraged socializing as it was a distraction from practice, and I was too much of a teacher’s pet to disobey the rules. I was also an introvert. People in general don’t have much sympathy for introverts, especially if they’re not neurodivergent. People often tell us “Just stop being shy” or “just walk up and talk to people, it’s not that hard” when we lament how hard it is to make friends. Some real bootstrap mentality and victim-blaming rhetoric. When you add having niche interest, or god forbid interests outside of your assigned race/gender, then it's no wonder many teenagers end up feeling lonely. 

3. On that topic, being disabled and neurodivergent also makes finding nonfurry friends extremely challenging. We sadly still live in an ableist society where the vast majority of people think you can just buy some magic pills that’ll make you feel normal. If people either chose not to do that, or can’t due to lack of money, then they’re seen as selfish/lazy and deserving of being alone. Even though I’m neurotypical, it doesn’t take a genius to do some basic research to see why it’s not easy for neurodivergents people to just “act normal.” Even when neurodivergent try explain themselves, people either don’t listen or still treat them as lesser because they’re “too difficult to deal with.” For neurotypicals, “acting normal” is as second nature as breathing. So meeting other people who can’t do it, causes a lot of judgment and even resentment. "Acting normal" for some people can feel like playing 5d chess with quantum physics. This is the same struggles that cause some people to become hikikomoris. Hikikomoris are seen as losers who are too lazy or selfish to fix themselves. In reality, a lot of them are just mentally ill and/or neurodivergent people whom no one made any effort to understand. Instead of receiving help, they got left behind with nowhere to go but the internet. 

Reminds me of another tweet I saw months before the current one (written by an autistic furry):

“i get so comfortable and caught up in the "normalcy" of my social groups and my every day lifestyle and get violently snapped back to the reality that i am fundamentally Different. trying to have any kind of conversation with a neurotypical feels so very alienating. I spend so much time holed up in my little cave talking to my friends and the comfort of it lulls me into a false sense of "...maybe i am fine and okay? my brain works perfectly and i can function well" but any deviation from that is so disastrous to my self and my routine. It just feels like nothing i do or say is the right thing to do or say. and suddenly they're getting mad at me for things i couldn't anticipate. what am i missing? i apparently missed every single warning sign.”

4. It’s no secret that the vast majority of furries are queer. It’s also no secret how queer folks often get treated in the real world. Especially if people are unlucky enough to be queer in the South. For queer people who grew up away from any major cities in conservative households with no access to any transportation, finding anyone who treats you like a human, let alone a friend, can be a real needle in the haystack situation. I'm aromantic asexual and an AFAB non-binary. I have “normie” friends, but all of them are allosexual cis women because they were the only ones who tolerated me. They were nice, but I had little to nothing in common with them outside of caring about our grades. Sexuality is a big deal in high school due to that being the time when everyone is going through puberty. I never cared about dating. So engaging in “who’s the hottest?” “who’s more marriage material?” or “who are you taking to the prom?” banter was impossible. I had to lie about who I was crushing on so people wouldn’t spread roomers that I was a lesbian. I tried being friends with boys, but cis straight teenage boys don’t exactly treat female-presenting people the best, or at least in a non-sexual way.

5. The furry fandom has a level of communal support that "normies" just don’t really provide. Every day I see so many furries promote their friends on their social media pages to help them pay for debt, medical procedures, or just to keep up with bills. Nonfurries don’t really do that. Not to say people's nonfurries have never helped them. It's just that we sadly live in a very individualistic sociality where we’re encouraged to only look out for ourselves. People may make exceptions for their best friends, but it’s unlikely that a community of nonfurries would donate to a random stranger’s GoFundMed compared to furries, especially outside of the internet. People don't open up their doors for official charity associations, let alone strangers asking for donations. The closest you’ll see nonfurries showing any kind of communal support is a church, even then that type of support is only reserved for Christians. It’s also doubtful that they’d pool their money to help a trans person receive gender-affirming surgery. This goes into a bigger discussion about how the concept of communities doesn’t really exist anymore. We live in a very individualistic society where asking for help is a sign of moral failure or weakness, especially if you’re a man. Neighborhoods, especially in the suburbs, are built so it's easy for people to only look out for wherever lives in their home. Everyone else doesn’t matter, or at the very least is second nature. Unless you’re lucky enough to live in a “safe” neighborhood that hosts community events like house parties and BBQs, most people’s neighbors are basically strangers. This is why suburban housewives are prone to feeling isolated and alone. The furry fandom fulfills that need for community that a lot of people were lacking in their personal lives. 

For clarity, I have absolutely nothing against non-furries, or befriending them. I still try to keep up with my "boring normie" friends by sending birthday shoutouts on social media and mailing them Christmas cards. The harsh truth is I’ll never be as close with them as I was in high school since we’re just too different at this point in our lives. They’re all in separate states, have time-consuming career paths, and as previously stated are all allosexual cis women who are either already married with children or dating. It’s just not possible for me to make friends outside of the fandom, at least in my current state. I’ve moved 8 times throughout my life, so I have no childhood friends. I went to college during the peak of the pandemic and took mostly online classes, so I didn’t make any college friends. I live with my mom and have all solitary hobbies. I’ve also mentioned that I’m introverted, so hanging around people irl physically and mentally exhausts me. 

So with all this in mind, I hope it’s easier to understand why most furries aren’t exactly interested in having “normie” friends. The fandom was originally created as a safe haven for people who were rejected by the outside world and had nowhere to go. This sentiment grew even more with social media where people outside of America were able to find a home. I wasn’t able to socialize with anyone my age or have people to call my best friends until I joined the fandom. Also, it’s not fair to think of all furries as the same. Yes, some furries are extremely infantilized, self-centered, and only speak in “uwu” and “owo.” However, in my personal experience, furries are just normal people who happen to indulge in the same hobby. I have furry friends who are STEM majors, work in music, are married with children, and have vastly different queer experiences. I think the fact that all these vastly different people who never would’ve even spoken to each other in real life are united under the same common interest is kinda beautiful. As the world grows more and more hostile towards, well, anyone who’s not a cis het white middle-class man, people need the communal support of the fandom more than ever. Instead of shaming furries who are “terminally online,” we should instead address the larger issue of why our current society is built in a way that makes certain people heavily rely on online spaces for love and support in the first place. 

If “normies” treated each other with the same unjudgemental kindness and support as furries, then the fandom wouldn’t have been created in the first place.

[tears-of-boredom]

...today was so fucking tiring. and tomorrow i have to do it all over again.

i. its like. I know that if i actually just go, and make it my routine, it'll get easier. ill get to know the people so i dont need to stress over strangers, ill get to know the social practices and traditions that are unspoken. ill get used to early mornings. i just. I have to Do it. you know. i have to actually dedicate myself to this. because its only going to make things worse if the only thing im thinking about is how i want to do something else.

and I know i can do it. i did it last year with the fucking,, primary school i think its called. i know that im able to adjust, and when I get into the routine, i wont even want to like, stay in bed or just play on my computer.

the just like,. like muscle memory, except mental as well? like unconcious memory? like, it feels like my body just remembers how my whole school life has been, and reacts like it always has. so like. i am actually a bit unsure about how to go about dismantling that. like i need to make my brain realise that this is a different situation. that i have a decent support network, that i can actually relax at home, that i have the opportunity to alter my schedule!

that is like. a big thing. i have to have the courage to actually talk to someone when im facing a problem. because there will be a solution. and trying to suppress all my issues will be way harder than just fucking using the resources that are literally given to me. the school system is not actually as horrible as i make it out to be. at least not this specific school. there is faculty whose entire job is to help students with whatever issues they may have.

i just. I have never been good at asking for help. not because i didnt think i needed it, but because i thought someone else needed it more. even conserning things or resources that are not limited, like fucking advice.

i was gonna say that i hate myself, but thats not true. i hate that i wasnt properly taught essential life skills growing up. i hate that those skills are so difficult to learn later, because you've got to unlearn the coping mechanisms you created in place of them.

any time i was in the vicinity of non-new students, i felt like they were making fun of me. they definetly weren't, but considering how my last class was in primary school, its honestly not that weird that my brain defaults to that.

you know. i never considered it bullying. because no one threatened me, or stole from me, or beat me up, or hurled insults at me.

but it definetly was. i didnt feel physically unsafe, yeah, but i was constantly so fucking anxious and stressed, just waiting for them to do something. the way I'd race to every class, just so i could have that small moment of peace that came with sitting in an empty classroom, knowing that the rest of the class wouldnt show up for a few moments.

yeah i didnt feel physically unsafe, as long as i hid my rainbow flag keychain charm.

i feel like this is something schools should focus on more. instead of pushing "tell a trusted adult if you or someone you know is being bullied", they should like, like just advise kids on how to recognise bullying.

like, i was not social, by any means. i didnt go out of my way to speak to people. you know, i had anxiety. and also im autistic. i felt isolated from the rest of the world.

but you know what also makes you feel isolated? bullying. it makes you feel like nobody genuinely likes you, like your value is determined by how fun it is to annoy you. and it makes insecure people, like me, feel like the bullying is worth it. because no one would talk to me under other circumstances. they're practically doing me a service by interacting with me.

i dont wanna call myself stupid, because it makes sense that it took me this long to recognise this. if a child admits to being bullied, and you dont intervene because they said "its fine, it doesnt bother me",, you're not good at stopping bullying.

like just, even if the kid turns out to be right, the bullying doesnt affect them at all, not in the short run, nor in the long run. the bullies are still a problem. like, you dont stop bullying by protecting the vulnerable people from the meanies, you stop it by disabling the ones doing it. make there not be anyone who would do the bullying in the first place.

like this is genuinely just basic problem solving. you see a problem, you find out whats causing it, and then you fix the causing factor.

you dont just keep buying goldfish when your cat kills each one, you teach your god damn cat to not kill the goldfish.

i. im just so angry. it seems like every year, i realise that some case of suffering ive experienced wasn't "inevitable" at all, and actually its just that the adults in my life greatly failed me. again.

but everytime i convince myself that its not their fault. that for some reason my psyche just makes suffering inevitable. its an endless cycle that just completely destroys my trust. towards strangers, towards adults, towards myself.

but this has been going on for so long, from such a young age, that like. what the fuck would be left if i unlearnt this shit. everything's formed into such a cornerstone of my very being, that itll be as hard as,, unlearning how to speak. learning to stop your heart from beating.

im so tired, like, physically. ill see if I can sleep, but if not, ill try and find the courage to go tall to an adult.

[iconologistegoradical]

You. Child. Reginald, my rotten soldier. Why are you on here. At such a young age, with.. such.. god fucking awful takes. I'm not trying to hate but you're quite literally defending some of the worst characters in Homestuck (plus Jake,) but like, they better be good defences and not the typical misogynistic regurgitated garbage I keep seeing. You are thirteen years of age. There are far better things you could be doing with your life than wasting it on fucking Homestuck.. good lord, do you get bullied at school?

Yes my good Anon, for what other reason would I be into Homestuck the webcomic by Andrew Hussie. It's 12 AM and I just woke up from 3 hours of trying to sleep so I'll try to keep my opinions here as professional as my brain can manage in these conditions. I'm not exactly 100 percent sure on what you meant by "typical misogynistic regurgitated garbage" but hopefully my defenses aren't THAT bad/atrocious. But I'm going to be completely honest, people like JojoFunkMclovin and Mivnol would be able to better word this topic with tact. With having god fucking awful takes I assume you mean me defending Eridan, Gamzee, Dirk, and Jake. For me I guess, and not for some, it's not exactly some hard theory I've worked into a lather as a reason to defend these characters, you wouldn't find me citing things in comic if I were to extensively write a tumblr post on anyone besides Dirk, even then I don't feel like I have enough evidence or right to have my opinion to myself to write on any of it. It's not my area of expertise unless if someone were to ever come any close to asking me about why I defend them, and this is maybe the best opportunity I can come to yapping on about my controversial opinions (even though they're just kind of bland and normal?).

To set one thing straight, empathy and sympathy is a large weakness of mine and some others as well, and I'm looking through most of these characters through the lenses of kinning them, since I do (Dirk Strider more like I am him then really kinning, though that's a conversation reserved to only a specific individual). I like a special other few people will peer into a character and see a self in the other. Or at least a reason to understand why they ended up this way, the main 4 in this sense all have their reasons, to sort of dash through the list, Eridan and his lonely upbringing as a troll on Alternia who vibe and feeling wise I just find more pathetic and pitiable then a truly bad person who is capable of committing the atrocities he goes on about: for truly I believe it is nothing but meaningless shit talk and half of the things he does is just to ultimately sabotage whether it's through copious loathsome amounts of self pity or threats of terrorism on his friends race, self pity and self loathing of this kind, I believe in some way it exposes some kind of weakness, weakness of this flavor, some who recognize it in themself are naturally inclined to reject the weakness of Eridan, to not fall into the same traps and patterns he has realizing he (like many characters in any fiction really) and his mistakes are to be learned from and they could be better than Eridan Ampora Homestuck, or maybe they just hate themselves and also hate Eridan Ampora Homestuck as an extension of themself in some way, whatever the case may be, if a character is ultimately weak or has apprehension for their evil deeds or don't actually follow through on them or there's some alternative source like mind control forcing them to do these evil things I think that's enough for me to cut them some slack.

Segueing into Gamzee Makara it's kind of lost on me myself why I defend him. I haven't given it too much thought because what is there to really introspect into. I guess, he's just a kid like the rest of them. Them all being kids is one thing I'll always keep in mind when regarding the topic of whether or not they did wrong, but I also guess this isn't really about what they did wrong. Tallying up their sins and goods would just be telling you what they've done, and that's not really my style of writing. Homestuck leaves you with nothing but the means (something either of the two youtubers I mentioned earlier might've said first), so I guess it gives better opportunity to want to give your take and create an end to these means. And all I can say about Gamzee is, I just don't really think there's much to go on about. Yeah I feel bad for him, it's just, there isn't much there to go on about that hasn't been stated by better people and just in general. Gamzee was some fucking clown juggalo, he stopped his alien drugs which kept him docile and stoned out of his mind silly, got triggered over some kid mentioning the Insane Clown Posse to him, (those two events probably not in that order, don't quote me on that,) and then went on a rampage killing all his friends or something I guess. Didn't get his alien drugs back, became a villain, and then a minion for the bigger antagonist Lord English/Caliborn or some bullshit. If I were to say anything more, I think he was just a pawn. Like with Eridan, a wasted protagonist, wasted potential. But I personally can't stand anyone blaming him for what he's done, for whatever farcical feely-weely bullshit reasons. He didn't know any better I guess, and there was no one who could step up to teach him better, besides Karkat, though a good moiral, Gamzee would maybe need something more.. Almost like... A father figure, or something........ He also doesn't have one of those by the way, even though lusus can maybe barely be considered the same as human parents if at all. His goat dad lusus is absent from his life, it's sad. Even if his goat dad was present that wouldn't change anything either, was just kind of thrown into the story. More things out of his control, including the planet he was born on which has creatures who you're assigned to at birth instead of a older human parent of which you share a species and genetics with, chalk it up to bad luck.

(Saving Dirk Strider for last.) Second to last would be Jake English. I don't know, like the rest he can be kind of pathetic. He's also dumb, really oblivious. Some may find that obnoxious. And I can't disagree. But also the take that he's a bad person is just uneducated? I've never seen anyone say that besides a handful of individuals I can't bother remembering, but it also just falls in the category of not being taught better. He also doesn't have a parental guardian. Are you starting to see a pattern here with my kins? And he also had to burn his dead grandmothers corpse in a fire and watch. So he gets extra sympathy points for the grandma burning and all the other shit he's saddled with, Dirk being apart of that shit. And it's not something I'll go into, but my fiancé is also him, so I don't have any good reason to shit talk Jake English, nor did I have any in the first place.

And I guess I'll have to get back to you on Dirk Strider. It's personal. And again there's only one dude I know that I feel like I need to explain myself to.

-Oh and also none of them are fucking Vriska Serket: so that's always good.

[ear-worthy]

American Hysteria: The Podcast About Pointless Panic

There's a country song by Garrett Hedlund called, "Timing Is Everything." 

That sentiment applies perfectly to the podcast American Hysteria.   When American Hysteria began in 2018, the flames of society-wide conspiracy theories burned hotter than ever. With then President Trump using the bully pulpit to foster conspiracy theories -- QAnon, white replacement theory, PizzaGate, vaccine denialism, Putin is being persecuted, and even wind power causes cancer -- rational thought began to exit the public consciousness replaced by a belief best described as Fox Mulder of The X Files meets "Springtime for Hitler."

It was a perfect blend of societal delusions and a podcast investigating that same rift in political, social and cultural stability.

American Hysteria explores how fantastical thinking has shaped our culture – moral panics, urban legends, hoaxes, crazes, fringe beliefs, and national misunderstandings. Poet-turned-podcaster Chelsey Weber-Smith tells the strangest stories from American history and examines the forces that create the reality we share, and sometimes, the reality, we don't.

The podcast is produced by Skylark Media, which is an entertainment network creating and producing interactive audio dramas and podcasts.

 The host, Chelsey Weber-Smith, is known for Channel Zed (2020), Behind the Bastards (2018) and You're Wrong About (2018).

Chelsey Weber-Smith also writes country music and rambles around the United States, building campfires and hoping for the best. She is a graduate of the University of Virginia's MFA program in poetry and has written and self-published two chapbooks, a travel memoir, and two full-length folk/country albums, and was recently nominated for a Pushcart Prize. Her work has been published in BOAAT, Transom, Matter, Wu-Wei Fashion Mag, the James Franco Review, and Miracle Monocle. She currently lives in Seattle.

Weber is perfect for the role in the podcast. Listen to her: "I believe in getting tangled in the weeds, in living in the often-untouched gray areas, of exploring the nuances that often get lost. I hope to use humor and poetics to ease people into difficult truths, to educate with care and understanding, especially around issues of race, class, gender, and sexuality, and the bigness and smallness of being alive."

What kinds of topics does American Hysteria cover ? Here's just a partial list.

 Early Drag Queens, including the manly soldiers of the U.S. Army who put on drag shows during the Second World War. 

The ghosts of children killed in a school bus, who are said to push cars uphill and away from danger. 

The toy riots that took place over sought-after toys, such as Tickle Me Elmo, Cabbage Patch Kids, and Beanie Babies. 

The wild stories about Halloween sadism -- razor blades in apples, rat poison in chocolate -- which turned out to be largely tall tales.

My favorite episodes so far include the show about the numerous conspiracy theories surrounding Barbie over the decades. These theories range from grooming to fat shaming, anti-feminism to body dysmorphia.

 In the episode, I discovered there's one thing Ken and Barbie can never do. Get your mind out of the gutter. It's not that. After all, they're dolls. According to Barbie creator Ruth Handler, they can never get married.

 My other favorite is about Hallmark Christmas movies. In the episode, Weber-Smith says, "Because so many Hallmark writers and directors also make horror movies, I called in podcasters Sarah Marshall and Alex Steed of 'You're Wrong About' and 'You Are Good' to discuss the similarities between these two seemingly polar opposite genres."

I learned that each Hallmark Christmas movie budgets at least $50,000 for fake snow. The movies are generally filmed in the summer.  

My other favorite is the episode about the craze in the late 80s and 90s about satanic cults. The episode details the insanity of parents claiming their children had been affected by these satanic cults that were overrunning America. Later on, we discovered that Satan is really Steve Bannon, so no worries.

Weber-Smith is charming, funny, snarky, sarcastic and utterly entertaining on this podcast. America Hysteria is hysterical in how it crafts a narrative about these events of mass hysteria and then comments on the state of our culture, society and mindset. The narrative is fascinating and educational because, in a way, this podcast is a textbook (only funnier and wittier) on American sociology. 

Chelsey Weber-Smith makes the case that America's craziness is not a recent phenomenon. Conspiracy theories have been with us since dogs were domesticated. Think about it. It's only been 60 years since parents claimed that Elvis and his gyrating hips and The Beatles and their long hair would be the end of Western Civilization as we know it.

Thanks to Fox News, American hysteria will never run dry on conspiracy theories. The network invents them every day -- Tyler Swift is a CIA agent, happy holidays is a secret Communist call sign, and when conservative white people fall asleep, their bodies are being taken over by minorities, like in the film The Invasion Of the Body Snatchers.

Check out American Hysteria. You'll learn something, have fun, laugh often, question the validity of conspiracy theories, and enjoy the warped sensibilities of host Chelsey Weber-Smith.

 Finally, the podcast does encourage feedback. The podcast urges listeners to: "Tell us about a local urban legend you grew up hearing! We may play your voice message on the show along with whatever information we can dig up."

[celeste-clearwater-06]

High School AU!! Headcanons!! (The Hobbit//LOTR)

Let me just start off by saying... SOMEONE, PLEASE DO A SERIES OF THESE, BECAUSE I'M TOO LAZY-

Let's begin, shall we?? And get the boring headcanons over with!!!

In this 🌟 canonical 🌟Universe, you (Reader) attend a new School after moving a few towns over, and end up here

To kick off these headcanons, I'd prefer the Races/Species to all stay the same!!

That means YES, there ARE hobbits, elves, dwarves, etc!!!

(And you, can be whatever race you choose 👌)

I also find peoples OC's so cute!! The main characters and you are NOT the only people who attend this school, so if you have OC ideas, please share!!! 💜💜

You're also a very well known student, that everyone knows by name!!

Some of our older characters would be teachers

So, Gandalf, Bilbo, Balin, Elrond, you get the gist

Bilbo, I think, would undoubtedly be either a History teacher, or librarian at the least!!

He's got such extensive knowledge of maps and books, so the job would be perfect 💜

Celeborn and Galadriel as the principles, Gandalf runs the guidance Office and Elrond as the school Counselor 💙💙

They may also have some sparring or self-defense classes as well!!

Obviously, it's high school, so we're still going to include some of the stereotypes...

however, I'll try not to make them too adamant, because I want to get each character as close as possible!!

Clubs, Sports, and Extracurriculars are a MUST 📚

Art club, book club, agricultural sciences, FFA, all that jazz 🙌

(most of these include American classes, so lemme know if you want a class that we might not have, included!!)

Jocks would probably include some of our more "hardy" or athletically inclined people (Legolas, Gimli, Fili & Kili, Aragorn, Eomer)

Maybe some "techies" or nerds (Merry, Faramir, Lindir)

And of course the popular kids 🙄✋ (Boromir, Legolas, Nori, Eomer, Pippin)

And although we love our heroes, I feel strongly that Orcs and villains would also attend this high school

This includes Sauron!! He's the schools biggest Senior bully 🔥

And the 3 trolls, each in a different grade

Really quick, here's a tier list that I created!! The top 3 that were cut out are Balin, Dori, and Radagast, (in that order)

This one is for Clubs, Sports, and other high-school-cliches that I felt need be included

Now, I feel that some of these characters belong in more than one category, but I put them in what best seemed fit

Just imagining some of the school memories being made makes me so happy

So now onto the FUN HEADCANONS

•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•

Imagine Cheering on Legolas at football games 🥴 💚

Studying in the library with Frodo and Lindir 📖 🌹

Stupid class presentations and group projects with Merry and Pippin 💀

Passing notes with Eowyn and Arwen about crushes 📝

Maybe learning the great History of Middle earth in Mr. Baggins class!!

Speaking of which, Bilbo's just a tired old gay teacher, please just leave him alone 😩

GOING TO PROM, ISTG-- 🤭💜

CAN YOU IMAGINE??

Getting all fancied up for a school dance with your friends//partner 😩✋

And we ALL know the things that teachers do when they ship students 🙄💜

Yeah, Balin always makes sure to sit you and your future husband/ wife together

And Gandalf always stopping by in the classes or at lunch and subtly dropping hints...

(The Romance Grandpas™ 👀, if you don't understand, just read this... 💜)

BOMBUR IS #1 LUNCH LADY

Galadriel being EVERYONE'S favorite principal, no questions asked!!

Denethor is the creepy Janitor because WE CAN NOT STAND HIM 😒

Finding 'Boromir was here' scratched onto the tops of desks and Bathroom stalls

Thorin is the annoyingly hot and athletic Football (American) Coach-

Girls and boys whispering to each other about how HOT Aragorn be looking today 👀

This is a personal preference, but I think accents and long hair should definitely stick around!!

Maybe with the exception of pulling hair up into man-buns and ponytails 😩💜

Also, definitely modern clothes

Because DAYUM, the hobbits with their own aesthetic??? Yes???

*insert Kidcore pippin* 👀👀👀

GOTH FARAMIR, -- 🖤💜🖤

Cottage Core TAURIEL...

BOFUR DRESSES UP AS THE SCHOOL MASCOT (which is coincidentally a green dragon)

I have so many more ideas, but not enough time, so if you'd like a part two, just let me know!!

Not all of these are totally accurate, but what I felt strongly about!! If you have another idea, just disagree respectfully and share!!!

And if you'd like to use these for a story or series, just tag me so I can read them!!! I LOVE reading those!!!

Please share and reblog if you like!!! 💜

TY lovelies!! 💜💜

•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•

People that I think would enjoy this...

@luna-xial @rowandor @tolkien-fantasy @ineffablebean @trxblemaker @kumqu4t @celestialxplanet @legolaslovely

[moonlightdancer26]

REASONS WHY YOU ARE WRONG

- He used slurs towards people. He hated all muggleborns and joined a group that murdered, tortured and killed muggleborns by his own choice, yet made an exception for Lily as he 'loved' her. This is so wrong. So many people in real life are horribly stereotypical/racist about one group of people but if they find one of them and become friends with them, they say, "You're not like the rest of them." THE REST OF WHO? PEOPLE WHO ARE BORN LIKE ME? PEOPLE WHO LOOK LIKE ME? SO YOU degrade an entire race of people but because I am your friend, I am above my own? In real life this would be racist behaviour and since these books are meant to carry lessons for us to take into real life, I don't think i would teach my kids to love a character with these kinds of serious red flags. As a person of colour I know the types of people who will say things like "Oh you're better," or "Oh you're not like the rest of them." to try complimenting you but they are being blatantly racist towards an entire community.

- He abused students unreasonably. Neville, whose parents were tortured to insanity, would probably have death eaters as his biggest fear, right? Wrong. Snape mentally abused him and degraded him, treated him so unfairly that Snape was his greatest fear. And Neville wasn't the only one. Snape bullied insecure students to the point where they feared entering his class. He ignored multiple physical and verbal assaults made by his own students towards other innocent victims. I knew a friend of mine suffering from severe anxiety and depression and because we had teachers like Snape who heightened these dark emotions with pressure and verbal abuse in class, she came close to committing suicide. When I read about Neville in the books, every time Snape verbally abused him or degraded him and MULTIPLE other students I remembered my friend and COUNTLESS others like her who suffer like this. You might think I am just angry as I am a Gryffindor, but no. I'm a Slytherin and i don't condone bullies and people who abuse positions of power. Just so you know, I don't condone James Potter's actions either. I don't deny he was a bully towards Snape. I don't set double standards. So you can WHOLEHEARTEDLY agree that James was bullying Snape, yet you can't agree that Snape abused his own students to the point where some had zero self confidence, were bullied by his favourite students in front of him and had crippling anxiety because of him? Fucking double standards or what? At least James had character development and grew out of being a bully. Snape was a bully right to the very end. I don't think an emotional death scene and saying "You have you mother's eyes," is enough of a "redemption" arc.

- He has no valid justifications for his actions. What reason was there for him to abuse students? How do you justify him using slurs? How do you justify him leaving James and Harry to be murdered while only saving Lily? How do you excuse him loving a MARRIED WOMAN? He has no reason or pressure to join a group of murderers. Draco was forced to join the Death Eaters to save the lives of his family. Snape joined them because of his fetish with evil, dark magic. He loved their propaganda and eavesdropped on Dumbledore, getting Lily and James murdered. Darling, in your response to another anon, you said he went to Dumbledore to save the lives of Lily and his childhood bully. No, he did not. Let me explain in simple terms how. He eavesdropped on the prophecy, and not knowing who it was about, went to tell his master as he was a full Death Eater at the time. So he was READY to throw an innocent family to their deaths to begin with, remember this. NOW only when he heard that Lily was going to die, he ran over to Dumbledore like a helpless puppy to get him to save ONLY her because even AFTER SHE MARRIED ANOTHER MAN, he had a gross and creepy obsession with her, a MARRIED WOMAN. Dumbledore called him DISGUSTING for LEAVING a baby boy and his father to die, because he NEVER wanted to save James and his son. He would've happily let them die so he could get back with Lily. HE EVEN ASKED VOLDEMORT TO KILL HARRY BUT SPARE LILY, JUST BECAUSE HE WANTED A LIFE WITH HER. HERE IS A QUOTE FROM THE BOOK IF YOU ARE THAT BLIND.

“The — the prophecy . . . the prediction . . . Trelawney . . .” [Snape said.]

“Ah, yes. How much did you relay to Lord Voldemort?” [Dumbledore said.]

“Everything — everything I heard! That is why — it is for that reason — he thinks it means Lily Evans!” [Snape said.]

“The prophecy did not refer to a woman. It spoke of a boy born at the end of July —” [Dumbledore said.]

“You know what I mean! He thinks it means her son, he is going to hunt her down — kill them all —” [Snape said.]

“If she means so much to you, surely Lord Voldemort will spare her? Could you not ask for mercy for the mother, in exchange for the son?” [Dumbledore said.]

“I have — I have asked him —” [Snape said.]

^^^ so here is the proof that he asked Voldemort that in exchange for murdering a one year old baby and his father, could he save the life of a married woman that he had an obsession with.

“You disgust me.” [Dumbledore said.]

- He had no regard for fairness or justice. Whenever something was reported to him, he always had utter and complete disregard and contempt for the school rules, always removing unfair points or giving unwarranted detentions. Even as a Slytherin myself, I despise his behaviour.

- He was a selfish, narcissistic murderer. He condemned a one year old boy and his twenty-one year old father to a death by vicious murder while begging Voldemort to save Lily because he loved her. He abused her son during all his years of schooling because he didn't get the girl. When he wasn't able to convict Sirius into prison wrongly because of petty grudges, he outed a poor man to the entire school community and made him lose his entire livelihood. HE BLABBED REMUS' SECRET TO THE ENTIRE SCHOOL ABOUT HIS CONDITION, landing Remus in poverty an unemployment because of the stereotypes that prevent Remus from getting a job. Even after hearing the truth about Pettigrew, he still wanted to condemn Sirius to have his soul sucked out by dementors. (Didn't you use a 'siriusly' pun in your other post? wow-) I understand that Sirius bullied him, but Snape ended up getting James and Lily murdered, so-

- He ruined people's lives. Harry's parents are dead because of him. If he hadn't eavesdropped on Dumbledore and Trelawney and relayed the prophecy then James and Lily would've still been alive. Sirius Black wouldn't have spent twelve years in Azkaban. Remus would have had a job he desperately needed. Neville and all of his other students would have had better mental health and more confidence. HE RUINED ALL THESE LIVES. And you always use his excuse for bullying for everything. Mentally abused his students and caused them crippling self confidence and anxiety? Oh, he was bullied when he was a kid. Condemned a werewolf to lifelong poverty, stripped him of his job and outed his secret to the whole world to ruin all his opportunities in life? Oh, he was bullied as a child. Murdered a mother and father and would've gladly murdered their one-year old son too if his fetish with a married woman was satisfied? Oh, he was bullied as a child. Used slurs towards muggleborns and thought of them as below him? Oh, he was bullied as a child. Would've gladly condemned an innocent family to death when he thought he was relaying the prophecy? Oh, he WAS BULLIED AS A CHILD. I'm not saying his issues aren't valid. James and Sirius bullied him. They hurt him. It was wrong. BUT they grew. They stopped. They developed. James completely forgave Snape and was going to name his second child's godfather to be Snape. (YES, LILY WAS PREGNANT WITH HER SECOND CHILD WHEN SNAPE GOT HER MURDERED, JUST A SIDE NOTE-)

If you are too cowardly to answer my ask, BECAUSE you know I'm right, then go ahead. To end, every character is flawed. Every human being is flawed. Snape was flawed. But to condone his bullying, narcissistic, obsessive, slur-using, murdering behaviour that has gotten innocent lives taken and ruined, I don't think so.

Anon, what the fuck? Everything you just said is either wrong or blown wayyyy out of proportion.

Let’s do this:

He used slurs towards people.

Nope. Him calling muggleborns Mudbloods is not canon. How come nobody ever accuses him of prejudice, in real time or in retrospect, except Lily, who only finds his prejudice problematic when it’s directed at her, and who in fact, bothers to make excuses for him for years and is surprised that he sees something in Avery and Mulciber?

Like it or not, if Severus threw Mudblood around like confetti (which we don't actually see), he did not use it more than was generally acceptable (Stop reading the books of 2021 standards!). Slurs were simply not a big deal in 1970s UK. We’ve made progress as a society, definitely, but Snape shouldn’t be judged against the norms in his time, never mind that he is a teenage boy. Teenage boys are not a demographic that has ever been known for tact or emotional maturity.

Distantly he heard Snape shout at her in his humiliation and his fury, the unforgivable word: “Mudblood.”

Snape tried to reclaim some dignity, some of his masculinity, even. Sadly, it backfired horrendously.

“I don’t need help from filthy little Mudbloods like her!”

Lily blinked.

“Fine,” she said coolly. “I won’t bother in future. And I’d wash your pants if I were you, Snivellus.”

The key words were “I don’t need help”, not “Mudbloods”.

James was taunting him that he needed her help; from a girl.

“You're lucky Evans was here.”

Snape couldn’t endure being told that he owed his relief to Lily. That a girl had come to his rescue. And he automatically defended himself. This is the 1970’s, when women were considered inferior to men, when sexism was rampant, when a boy needing a girl’s help was the height of embarrassment! Let alone when a boy needs a girl to come to his rescue when he is already angry, humiliated and defenseless. Being rescued by a girl was hardly helpful, it was just another excuse for them to bully Snape. And I’m not at all saying that women are inferior to men, I’m a woman myself. I’m just saying that in the 1970s women were considered inferior to men.

And besides, we always hurt the ones we love the most, and say the most awful things that we don't mean or can't take back when in the heat of anger. This is a universal experience.

This is not saying slurs are OKAY, obviously not. However, this was in 1970s UK, and Wizarding society is behind Muggle society in every way. Unfortunately, slurs were more common then, meaning it was not just the extremely prejudiced people who used them. Even when Draco used it in the 1990s, nobody started a campaign against slurs.

Y’all love to say that “Snape didn't care about calling others Mudblood.”

Well… then neither did Lily?

They were best friends for 7 years. If he was so anti-muggle-born like everyone claims, why would she (a Muggle-born) stay friends with someone like that until year 5?

Lily contradicts herself. When Snape calls her a Mudblood in SWM ‘She blinks' - she is shocked when Snape said it, whatever she expected from him it was not that. We don’t see in this memory how well they know each other (we figure out later but still), but her surprise shows that it’s something that hasn’t happened before.

The betrayal causes enough of a change in her attitude that she calls him by the name the bullies use and makes her own sexually humiliating and classist observation.

She then says: “You call everyone of my birth Mudblood, why should I be any different?”

Then why be so shocked, Lily, if your friend calls everyone Mudblood?

If he really was throwing Mudblood around, why didn’t she end the friendship sooner? She doesn’t strike me as the type that would let him get away with using that word once, let alone for five years.

So either:

A) He didn’t say it at all, and her besties fed her lies or rumours.

B) He did say it all the time, just like she claims, and… she's a bloody hypocrite and isn’t as righteous as everyone thinks. She didn’t care that he said it until it was made personal and was directed at her. Then she decided that Snape was in the wrong and she should cut ties.

If I were a Muggle-born and I had a friend who was anti-muggle-born and called others Mudblood so willingly, I would’ve ditched them as soon as they first expressed that sentiment. 🤷‍♀️

C) Lily’s friends manipulated her as she was upset. We all know Lily’s friends didn’t like Snape. (“None of my friends can understand why I even talk to you.”) They could see this as the perfect opportunity to dig the knife and twist it. When Snape went to apologise some hours later (it was dark), it might have been after her friends got to tell her some things that weren’t quite true. “Yeah, he’s ALWAYS calling ______ Mudblood, says it all the time.” And also, Lily was proved twice to be easily manipulated (the werewolf incident and James “ChAnGiNg” even though he was still hexing Severus), so it wouldn’t be shocking.

Snape didn’t get a chance to defend himself as she turned and went back into the common room, and with all due respect to “you won’t even deny it,” a boy who had been brutally assaulted mere hours ago and who is in proximity to his assaulters might not have the presence of mind to defend himself against crimes he wasn’t previously on trial for. If someone now walked up to you and accused you of stealing their car, you might be too shocked to deny it too; actually stealing the car might be why you’re so prepared to defend yourself. This might be where he got the idea to join the Death Eaters in the first place

And also, he changed. Nope, not the J*mes Potter version of changed, aka lying and going behind people’s backs and never changing at all, and we ACTUALLY have proof, because… well, read The Prince’s Tale, then you’ll understand. One quote, “Do not use that word”—the reprimand he gave to the portrait when he called Hermione a Mudblood.

He hated all muggleborns

Proof?

and joined a group

-because he was groomed by future Death Eaters for 7 years straight.

that murdered, tortured and killed muggleborns

Sigh

The Death Eaters promised a better life for wizards (that’s what Regulus was told, better life and rule over Muggles), Sev would join because any life would have been better than the one he was living. Also, he knew first hand that Muggles could be vicious.

The first thing to remember is that the Death Eaters were a mass movement (400 out of a population of between 3,000 and 10,000); that prospective recruits were told that they were going to “rule over” Muggles and Muggle-borns, not kill them; and that this was a time when many Muggles believed that Muggles were about to end the world in nuclear war. A wizard takeover might have seemed like a good idea. Of course he wouldn’t have joined if he knew that’s what they did. And also, do you allow your friends to dictate your politics?

by his own choice

There’s no proof Snape joined the DEs willingly. It’s just as possible he did it under blackmail. And don’t even bother to mention the reasons, which could range from protecting himself from the DEs and/or the Marauders to just trying to get money or trying to protect Lily because he’s been blackmailed over her safety by DEs, or he joined the Death Eaters in exchange for Lily’s safety and protection. If he did, it’s literally only because he was groomed by future Death Eaters... for 7 years straight.

yet made an exception for Lily as he ‘loved’ her.

Okay, I’m not even gonna say anything. This is just pure—pure—bullshit.

I’m not even gonna bother responding to the rest of the paragraph cause it’s literally bullshit. Blood prejudice is NOT racism. How about you stop making that dumbass and incorrect comparison?

He abused students unreasonably.

1. How do you reasonably abuse your students?🤣🤣

2. Do you even know what abuse is? What the fuck did he even do? Ah yes, insulted his students from time to time, was strict and unnecessarily harsh, took 5 points from Gryffindor a couple of times. How the fuck is that abuse? That’s simply bullying and being an asshole. Do not throw around terms like that lightly.

Neville, whose parents were tortured into insanity,

Oh god, not this again.

would probably have death eaters as his biggest fear, right?

Wrong. Neville never really *feared* Death Eaters, at least not until later. He never met them. He never knew them. He doesn’t remember them. Why would he fear them? I mean, it’s like—why didn’t Harry fear Voldemort? Why doesn’t Hermione fear the troll of Halloween, why doesn’t anyone fear the Basilisk?

Do you not fucking understand how Boggarts work? His greatest fear wasn’t Severus. The boggart is what you think of fear, he would have been a lot more scared if he saw Voldy or Bella (or just any other Death Eater) than Severus. I can guarantee that.

Someone’s Boggart wasn’t always rational. Far from it, really. Plus, the Death Eaters were in Azkaban until OoTP… I don’t see why he’d ever fear her in PoA. Of course, he was upset and angry about his parents fate. But he wasn’t afraid. That’s a different story.

Wrong.

Ayoo at least you got one thing right. Congrats, anon!

Snape mentally abused him and degraded him,

Oops, never mind.

What the fuck does he do to Neville that’s so horrible?

He never criticises Neville for anything not related to his classroom performance and punishes the boy far less often and severely than McGonagall does.

Does he send him in the forbidden forest at the age of eleven to help Hagrid catch a killer on the run? Nope.

Does he deliberately humiliate him for weeks by refusing to give him the password to Gryffindor tower and forcing him to stay on the corridor at night when there potentially is a mass murderer in the castle? Nope.

Does he tell him in front of the entire class not to let Durmstrang see how incredibly useless he is? Nope.

The worst thing Severus did to Neville was giving Trevor his potion. And no, he did not want to “murder” the toad like some people claim. Poison does not have to be deadly and he almost certainly had an antidote anyway. Sure, it was extremely harsh and very unnecessary but he tried to motivate Neville (albeit in a pretty twisted way), but he wanted Neville to succeed. Since Trevor means so much to Neville, it was to make him work hard, and next time to not bring his pet toad to the most hazardous class full of dangerous fumes.

A couple of harsh jibes are really comparable to McGonagall sending Neville and the rest into the Dark Forest or making him sit outside the common room when there’s a mass-murderer in the castle? Really?

Not to mention, as tactless as Snape was in the examples you give, his words did always have a kernel of truth. He was warning two teachers, both newer to teaching than he was, that one of their students was prone to causing accidents and should probably be monitored. He just did it in the most prickly way possible because he was prone to being prickly.

Mentally abused my ass. 💀

treated him so unfairly that Snape was his greatest fear.

What Neville is afraid of is figures of authority, more than any one person. Severus had just left the room and was fresh in the mind. Neville himself mentioned that it could have been his grandmother. Does that mean she’s pure evil too? Or does that rule only apply when it’s meanie Snape?

And Neville wasn’t the only one.

Yep. The others were Harry and Hermione. You’re right, anon! Congrats!

Snape bullied insecure students

Oops, I guess not.

Where does it say that?

to the point where they feared entering his class

wtf? I think you mean dreading entering his class.

He ignored multiple physical and verbal assaults made by his own students towards other innocent students.

...where and when??

I knew a friend of mine

You knew your friend? Wow, I’ve never seen a case so rare 🤣🤣

suffering from severe anxiety and depression

Holy shit that’s awful. Hope your friend that you knew (lmfao) is alright.

and because we had teachers like Snape who heightened these dark emotions with pressure and verbal abuse in class

Well, if that’s the case. Then your teachers are not like Snape. All he did was insult them.

And sorry that you and your friend that you knew (*giggle-snort*) went through that.

she came close to committing suicide.

That’s terrible. I sincerely hope your friend that you knew is alright.

When I read about Neville in the books, every time Snape verbally abused him or degraded him

That’s not verbal abuse, you dunderhead. 💀

and MULTIPLE other students

Where did he verbally abuse and/or degrade MULTIPLE students? I’d love to read that part.

I remembered my friend and COUNTLESS others like her who suffer like this.

I don’t see how you’d remember your friend that you knew (🥰) and others because of Sev mocking three of his students.

<< Insert a load of nonsense.

So you can WHOLEHEARTEDLY agree that James was bullying Snape, yet you can’t agree that Snape abused his own students

what James did to Snape:

*bullied and tortured him relentlessly for no reason whatsoever, choked him with soap (which is the equivalent of waterboarding), sexually assaulted him and stripped him in front of a jeering mob traumatising Sev for life, immobilised Severus, and still bullied Severus even after his best friend (Sirius) tried to use a werewolf (James’s other friend) as a murder weapon to rip their favorite chew toy apart.

what Severus did to his students:

*bullied them, was very strict and unnecessarily harsh, pushed them to do better, mocked them, took a couple of points every now and then.*

Do you see why I WHOLEHEARTEDLY agree that Porker bullied Sev but don’t agree that Severus abused his students?

to the point where some had zero self confidence,

Nope. Only Neville. And even then, Neville already had zero self-confidence because of his family.

were bullied by his favourite students in front of him,

…no. It’s literally said in the text that the Slytherins wait until Severus’s back is turned when they want to misbehave.

and had crippling anxiety because of him?

Anon...

What.

The.

Fuck.

Where?

When?

Fucking double standards or what?

Love how YOU’RE accusing ME of double standards.

At least James had character development

Where? When? He’s not even a character to begin with. The dude was a plot device with, like, zero importance to the story.

and grew out of being a bully.

Nope, he literally never did. He still bullied Severus behind Lily’s back, he took time out of fighting Death Eaters to bait two muggles and most likely traumatised them, and he snuck out of the house with his invisibility cloak and endangered his wife and infant child just because he was a childish bitch who wanted to go on silly adventures.

I don’t think an emotional death scene and saying “you have your mother’s eyes,” is enough of a “redemption” arc.

I agree.

Saving the entire Wizarding World, defecting from Lord Voldemort, being a spy for 17 years, and protecting children with no regard for his own life is redemption. Not just a line and a sad death. For once, you’re actually right.

I also don’t think that an emotional death scene and saying “Nice one, James” is enough to overshadow the fact that said person abused kids, his slave, and bullied a poor, Halfblood Slytherin (because he liked the Dark Arts and was “an oddball”, and also because he existed).

He has no valid justifications for his actions.

Yep. He has explanations. And, unlike an immature lunatic and a chocolate-loving werewolf, he never tries to justify his actions. He owns up to them, and punishes himself for it even when he doesn’t deserve it.

What reason was there for him to abuse students?

Again, he didn’t abuse them. Only bullied them.

How do you justify him using slurs?

1. He canonically only said it once and never again.

2. And the one time he did, he said it in a moment of pure humiliation and distress.

How do you justify him leaving Harry and James to be murdered while only saving Lily?

Huh?

1. Why the fuck should he care about James?

2. He literally warned Dumbledore and said that Voldemort’s gonna hunt them down and kill them all.

3. How are you so sure that he was fine with Harry and James dying? If you’re gonna say that he only asked Voldemort to spare Lily, then you’re a fucking dumbass.

What excuse would he have for James? Like okay, Voldy thought he wanted to fuck Lily, so Sev was probably like “Yeah, there’s this really hot chick and I wanna fuck her. So like, can you spare her?” Do you want him to tell Voldy “Oh yeah um... I wanna fuck him too”?

How do you expect him to ask Voldemort to spare Harry when he’s literally the prophecy child that Voldy’s going after?

How do you excuse him loving a MARRIED WOMAN?

1. There’s no evidence that Sev’s feelings for Lily were ever romantic. It’s just VERY popular fanon.

2. Dude... if he was in love with her... so what? He was in love with her BEFOFE she got married, and when she got married he never acted on it. There’s nothing wrong with being in love with a married person. Yes, it’s bad and you shouldn’t. But the heart wants what it wants, you can’t help it. However, it’s only bad if you act on it. Did he ever act on it? Nope.

He has no reason or pressure to join a group of murderers.

1. He didn’t know they were murderers when he first joined.

2. He was literally groomed by future Death Eaters and was misguided into the Death Eaters, this is literally how cults work.

Draco was forced into joining the Death Eaters to save the lives of his family.

You’re sorta right but also wrong.

Draco bragged about being a Death Eater in the books (although to be fair, he didn’t know what he was getting into at that time. It’s not like he knew he was gonna be killing and torturing people, but he still bragged).

Draco wasn’t forced to join to save the lives of his family. He was forced to kill Dumbledore to save the lives of his family. There’s a difference. He was forced into doing Death Eater stuff, but he wasn’t forced into joining the Death Eaters in the first place. Okay, it’s not like he had a choice, but you dunderheads are under the delusion that Draco joined the Death Eaters kicking and screaming.

Snape joined them because of his fetish with evil, dark magic.

1. Nope. He joined because he was powerless (stated by Rowling herself) and was groomed by people like Lucius Malfoy.

2. “evil, dark magic” boi what? Dark magic is not necessarily evil. In fact, he uses his knowledge of Dark magic to save lives (Draco, Harry, Katie, Dumbledore etc).

He loved their propaganda

Nope. Fanon bullshit.

and eavesdropped on Dumbledore,

He went to get interviewed and just so happened to stumble across Trelawney telling the Prophecy.

getting Lily and James murdered.

Dude, you’re acting as if he knew it was about them and pranced to Voldy.

Darling, in your response to another anon, you said he went to Dumbledore to save the lives of Lily and his childhood bully.

Darling, I assume you’re referring to this post.

No, he did not.

Darling, that’s literally what he did.

He eavesdropped on the prophecy, not knowing who it was about, went to tell his master as he was a full Death Eater at that time.

Correct.

So he was READY to throw an innocent family to their deaths to begin with,

Sigh, not this again. A lot of the problem people have with Severus relaying the prophecy to Voldemort is thinking it immediately put a target on the Potters. The other problem is that we see it written. Dumbledore and Snape only heard it, and Snape only heard the first two lines.

“The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approaches... born to those who have thrice defied him, born as the seventh month dies...”

Written, there's little ambiguity, but heard? First of all, approaches is a really weird way to say someone's gestating. It immediately brings to mind travel, not pregnancy. And now born. Is it 'born' or 'borne'? Borne makes more sense with approaches. Even with the last lines, if you go with 'borne' then you're thinking of someone coming from far away.

Add in that this prophecy was given in January of 1980, at a point where most pregnant women due in July wouldn't be far enough along to announce anything, and it's odd that anyone thought of a baby yet to be born. Severus was likely thinking it referred to an adult and I'd imagine was fairly well shocked when Voldemort decided it meant a baby.

And it could even be interpreted as a physical object, like a powerful weapon or something with the "approaches" and "borne". Severus didn’t know the prophecy referred to the Potters, or to any baby, or even necessarily to a living thing and not a weapon being borne (conveyed), and when he found out how Voldemort was interpreting it, he tried to save them, at great risk to himself.

NOW only when he heard that Lily was going to die, he ran over to Dumbledore like a helpless puppy to get him to save ONLY her

Uhh no. He literally went to warn Dumbledore about Voldemort. Yes, his main concern was Lily. But he still went to Dumbledore and warned him that Voldy was targeting the Potters.

because even AFTER SHE MARRIED ANOTHER MAN,

There. Is. No. Evidence. That. Severus. Ever. Had. Romantic. Feelings. For. Lily.

he had a gross and creepy obsession with her

Gross and creepy? Literally how?

And there’s nothing in the books that states Severus was obsessed with Lily, and his Patronus changed to match hers and Patonuses are light and pure magic, and it would not respond to gross, creepy, and/or obsessive feelings/behaviour from Sev to Lily. So shut the fuck up.

a MARRIED WOMAN

I’m tired of repeating myself.

Dumbledore called him DISGUSTING for LEAVING a baby boy and his father to die.

Dumbledore interrupted him, and it’s clear that Dumbledore was manipulating Severus.

because he NEVER wanted to save James and his son.

Then why did he warn Dumbledore? He could have let Voldemort finish the job (Voldy already agreed to spare her), but instead he decided that he would rather have Lily and her family stay safe and live in peace. He could’ve just trusted the word of his master. But he didn’t.

HE EVEN ASKED VOLDEMORT TO KILL HARRY BUT SPARE LILY

HE LITERALLY DIDN’T! HOW THE FUCK DO YOU EXPECT HIM TO ASK VOLDEMORT TO SPARE HARRY WHEN HE’S THE ONLY REASON HE’S GOING AFTER THE POTTERS IN THE FIRST PLACE! ARE YOU FUCKING STUPID?

JUST BECAUSE HE WANTED A LIFE WITH HER.

Proof? Any canon proof? It’s canon that he left her alone and never bothered her again. If that was the case, then he would’ve given her a love potion.

I’m too lazy to write down what you said so I’ll just give you quotes from the book:

“You know what I mean! He thinks it means her son, he is going to hunt her down — kill them all —”

“If she means so much to you,” said Dumbledore, “surely Lord Voldemort will spare her? Could you not ask for mercy for the mother, in exchange for the son?”

Severus's already warning him about them, only Dumbledore decided to interrupt Severus and put words in his mouth. It’s obvious that Dumbles was manipulating Severus. Of course, it is true that Severus's primary concern was Lily, but it's stupid to think that he held any power to bargain with Voldemort for exchange. He didn’t ask Voldemort to kill Harry and James, you’re making shit up. We didn’t get to see/read the scene where Sev asks Voldy to spare Lily, we don’t get to read his perspective either.

How the hell do you expect him to ask for Harry’s life when he’s the damn prophecy child that’s supposed to beat Voldy? That’d be pointless and downright stupid.

He didn’t “literally” say it. Dumbledore implied he did. Severus didn’t get to finish what he’s saying. Yeah, pretty sure he didn’t care about the baby, doesn’t mean he wanted him dead either.

He had no regard for fairness or justice.

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Whenever something was reported to him, he always had utter and complete disregard and contempt for school rules,

Literally when? When did that ever happen?

always removing unfair points or giving unwarranted detentions

Okay, him removing unfair points. Sure, fuck him for doing that.

But detentions? Nope. He gives detentions when the trio gets in trouble and when they talk back to him. Those aren’t bad reasons, any teacher would do the same.

He was a selfish, narcissistic murder.

WHAT THE FUCK BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA ANON YOU’RE A WHOLE NEW LEVEL OF STUPID!

SELFISH? BABE HE’S LITERALLY ONE OF THE MOST SELFLESS CHARACTERS IN THE ENTIRE SERIES, IF NOT THE MOST🤣🤣🤣

He literally went through hell to save everyone and to bring peace to the Wizarding World with nothing in return. Anon, what the fuck??🤣🤣

NARCISSISTIC? DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND WHAT THAT EVEN MEANS?? HE’S LITERALLY THE COMPLETE OPPOSITE🤣🤣

MURDERER? ANON ARE YOU JUST FUCKING STUPID??

He condemned a one year old boy and his twenty-one year old father to a death by vicious murder

Nope. And even if he did, that doesn’t make him a murderer.

He abused her son during all his years of schooling

*bullied.

because he didn’t get the girl

1. There. Is. No. Fucking. Evidence. That. Severus. Had. Romantic. Feelings. For. Lily.

2. Uhh no. He bullied Harry because he looked and acted like James.

When he wasn’t able to convict Sirius wrongly because of petty grudges

1. “wrongly”? Babe, he genuinely believed that Sirius was a mass murderer and betrayed Lily and James. You’re acting as if he knew.

“because of petty grudges”

Sorry... P E T T Y ?

So, Severus is petty for still hating Sirius because Sirius nearly killed him, bullied him relentlessly, immobilised him, and traumatised him? Are you heading/reading yourself?

And no, it’s because Severus genuinely believed that Sirius was a mass-murderer, betrayed Lily and James, was a Death Eater, and was trying to kill Harry.

he outed a poor man to the entire school community and made him lose his entire livelihood

Remus endangered the entire fucking school.

Okay I’m too lazy to write down all the nonsense you just babbled. So I’m just gonna tell you right now: look at this post I made a little while ago about Remus, Severus, and Sirius and PoA, here it is.

Even after hearing the truth about Pettigrew, he still wanted to condemn Sirius to have his soul sucked out by dementors.

Fanon bullshit. @potter-n-potions made a (wonderful) post debunking the fanon claim that Severus knew about Peter and Sirius’s innocence. It’s right here.

(Didn’t you use a ‘siriusly’ pun in your other post? wow-)

Yeah, and what about it?

I understand that Sirius bullied him,

-abused him, tortured him, nearly got him mauled to death by a werewolf. Shall I go on?

but Snape ended up getting James and Lily murdered so-

1. So? Does that justify Sirius literally traumatising him?

2. Uhh no. It’s Peter and Voldy’s fault.

3. Gurl, even if he did. Sirius didn’t know that so-

He ruined people’s lives

No.

Harry’s parents are dead because of him

No. Harry’s parents are dead because of Voldemort and Peter.

then James and Lily would’ve still been alive

Nope. You can’t say that. Severus relayed the prophecy fragment which caused Voldy to target the Potters personally. But according to Remus, Voldemort was winning, according to Moody, Order members were being killed every week, and James and Lily were Order members who defied Voldy Moldy three times. It is EXTREMELY likely they would’ve been killed anyway, and Voldy would’ve won. Harry would either die with his parents, or be raised under Voldy’s iron rule. So shut the fuck up.

Sirius Black wouldn’t have spent twelve years in Azkaban

Uhh no. It’s not Sev’s fault that Peter betrayed them and framed him (Sirius).

Remus would have a job he desperately needed

Lmao no. The DADA position is cursed, so he would still have to leave either way. And it was only because of Severus that Remus was able to have that job he desperately needed (Sev brewed him Wolfsbane potion).

Neville and all of his other students would have better mental health and more confidence.

No fucking proof he did that to any of his other students. Stop making shit up. And, as I’ve already stated, Neville already had zero confidence cause of his family.

And you always use his excuse for bullying for everything.

Lmao what? When?

Mentally abused his students and caused them crippling self confidence and anxiety?

No. Fucking. Proof.

Insulting. Students. From. Time. To. Time. Is. Not. Abuse.

Condemned a werewolf to lifelong poverty, stripped him of his job and outed his secret to the whole world to ruin all his opportunities in life.

Lmao Remus would still have to leave cause the position is cursed, and the ministry was already aware of his lycanthropy so shut the fuck up. Remus nearly ate three children, Remus endangered the entire school, Remus neglected taking his potion and then irresponsibility forgot to take it. He completely deserved to lose his job.

Murdered a mother and father

Nope. Was he the one who cast the killing curse? Cause last time I checked it was Voldemort who did.

and would’ve gladly murdered their one-year old son too

No proof.

if his fetish with a married woman was satisfied.

No. Proof. That. Sev. Had. Romantic. Feelings. For. Lily

Used slurs towards muggleborns and thought of them as below him.

No. Canonical. Proof.

Would’ve gladly condemned an innocent family to death when he thought he was relaying the prophecy.

No. Fucking. Proof.

BUT they (James and Sirius) grew. They stopped. They developed.

They literally never did. James bullied Severus behind Lily’s back and Sirius was still taunting Severus EVEN AS AN ADULT.

James completely forgave Snape.

Sorry... W H A T ?

JAMES was the one who FORGAVE Snape? BOI WTF?? BABE WHAT DID SEV EVER DO TO HIM??😭😭

and was going to name his second child’s godfather to be Snape

Oh god, not THAT again.

That's a completely unfounded fan theory that makes no sense.

Though it was presented as one of J.K. Rowling’s headcanons/unpublished ideas, it did not originate with her.

First of all, Lily wasn't pregnant with a second child and even if she was I highly doubt that she and James would pick Snape as a godfather.

They didn't know that he already was on the good side at the time and probably haven't even seen him for years. And honestly, even if they knew, James most certainly wouldn't pick Snape as a godfather, and I also don't really think that Severus would want that. Lily and James would maybe pick Sirius again.

Or perhaps Peter whom they trusted oh so much?😉😉

As far as we know Snape and Lily never crossed paths once during the war. Even when Snape began operating as a spy for Dumbledore the Order was completely unaware of it.

To even get remotely close to the sort of scenario this fanon idea outlines Snape and Lily would need to have rekindled their friendship. And James and Snape would have needed to make peace with each other.

Both of which would take more than the year/year and and a half between Severus switching sides and the Potters dying if they were saw each other only at Order meetings. Which they did not. James and Lily may not even have attended any Order meetings while in hiding.

If you are too cowardly to answer my ask, BECAUSE you know I’m right, then go ahead.

Lmao, you’re acting as if you gave me a challenge. All of your “arguments” are easily debunked by canon.

Anon, next time, please use canon arguments, m’kay?😘❤️

[blackhakumen]

Mini Fanfic #924: Señor Krohneny~ (King of Fighters)

10:34 p.m. at an Unknown Apartment.......

?????: (Looking at a Picture of Team K' on his Tablet) K' Dash....Even after all this time, I still hate seeing your sorry ass. No matter. Once this stupid tournament starts and we find ourselves a third member of our team, I'll be more than happy to finally degenerate that smug, fuck-boy look in your fa-

?????: KROHNENY!~

Krohnen: (Groans Lightly Before Looking Up a the Short, Silver Haired Woman Staring at Him With a Pouty Look on her Face) What?

?????: Can you please put down that tablet already? You just missed the best touchdown in the whole game!~

Krohnen: Angel, you know I don't give two shits about anything sports related. Let alone football.

Angel: That's because you never gave any of them a honest chance. (Smiles Brightly) I'm sure you'll fall in love with them if you do.

Krohnen: ('Scoffs') Please. I rather ride my motorcycle around if anything. Is there a sport for that at least?

Angel: (Happily Nodded) Yep!~ Tons of them actually. There's the Motorcycle Grand Prix, Superbike Racing, Motocross, which is dirt bike racing, ooh! And they have Sidecar racings!~ They all sound fun, right?

Krohnen: Interesting......(Starts Smirking a Little) Alright. After this tournament is over, we're going bike racing.

Angel: (Giggles Softly While Hugging Krohnen Under the Blanket They're Sharing Together) If it gets you out of the apartment more often, then it's a date!~ I know how lonely it is to be in here all day.

Krohnen: (Shrugs) Eh. Been a loner all my life. Doesn't bothered me in a slightest.

Angel: But you're not alone anymore. You have me.

Krohnen: ('Sigh') I know. (Start Blushing a Little) Thanks. For.... putting up with me and junk....

Angel: (Heart Begins to Melt Before Snuggling onto her Blue Haired Companion) No pienses nada de eso, mi amaigo. If anything, I should be thanking you for being friends with me to begin with. I haven't really made any growing up......

Krohnen: Seriously? How come?

Angel: I was teased and bullied a lot for being weird and stuff. Not the proudest moment of my life, but....(Simply Shrugs) It's lo que.

Krohnen: Huh. Well, if we'd met when we were kids, I'd be your friend.

Angel: ('Gasps') Really?~

Krohnen: Yeah. I mean, you're cool to hangout with, can kick a lot of ass, and you're a lot more attractive than any girl I met. So if anyone else doesn't see all of that about you, then they can kindly go fuck themselves off somewhere

Angel: (Gasps Happily Before Snuggling Onto Krohnen Some More) You're such a sweetheart, Krohneny!~ Muchas Gracias!~ (Starts Kissing on Krohnen's Cheeks Repeatedly)

Krohnen: (Groans While Blushing Once More) ('Ugh') Do you have to keep doing that?

Angel: (Happily Nodded) Sí. Considering how much of grumpy pants you are, I believe that you are in need of some loving, señor~ (Gives Krohnen One Last Kiss on the Cheek Before Going Back to Cuddling Him)

Krohnen: (Sighs While Rolling his Eyes) Annoying cuteness aside.....

Angel: Oye!

Krohnen: We seriously need to find ourselves a final member of our team. You got any suggestions?

Angel: (Puts her Finger on her Chin) Hmm.... Wellllll......(Picks her Phone Up From the Coffee Table and Starts Searching) We could get this one girl to join us. (Shows Krohnen the Picture of that Said Girl) Her name's Sylvie Paula Paula. Apparently she's a former NESTs member like the rest of us. Who also has electricity powers.

Krohnen: (Takes One Look at the Picture Before Shaking his Head) Nah. Her outfit is are too much for the eyes and she looks like can aggravate the piss out of me in a matter of seconds.

Angel: Yeah....I never really like her that much to begin with. (Starts Searching For Someone Else) Hmmm....Let's see.....Ooh! (Shows Krohnen a Picture of a Another Person) How about Nelson? He's a South American Boxer who uses a robotic arm to fight. Just like you!

Krohnen: (Takes Another Good Look at the Picture In Front of Him) Hm....He seems promising.....You think he'll agree to join us?

Angel: With a little bit of a convincing maybe.

Krohnen: ('Sigh') I think we can do that. As long as you don't try and seduce him.

Angel: Awww~ (Starts Poking Krohnen's Cheeks Teasingly) Is that a hint of jealousy I see in cute face of yours?~

Krohnen: ('Tch') (Immediately Starts Looking Away While Blushing Yet Again) Yeah right. Like I can be the jealous ty-

'Knock' 'Knock' 'Knock' 'Knock '

'Knock' 'Knock' 'Knock' Knock'

Krohnen: (Notices the Knocks on the Apartment's Door) What the....? (Turns to Angel) You ordered a pizza or something?

Angel: (Shrugs) Not that I know of. Rock Paper Scissors on who gets the door?

Krohnen: Bitchin'.

Krohnen/Angel: (Plays a Game of....) Rock, Paper, Scissors, SHOOT!

Angel gets paper, Krohnen gets rock.

Angel: Hah! Paper beats Rock!~

Krohnen: Bullshit. You got lucky that time.

Angel: (Puts on a Cocky Smirk on her Face) That's what you said the last time we played. And the time before that, and the time before-

Krohnen: Alright, Alright, fine! (Gets Up From the Sofa While Making his Way to the Door) I'll get the damn door....

Angel: (Blows a Kiss to Krohnen's Way) Love you~

Krohnen: (Rolls his Eyes) Uh-huh. (Opens the Apartment's Door) What do you wan- (Eyes Widened at Who is in Front of Him) Huh. Well, I'll be damned. (Starts Smirking) It's been a while, twerp.

Kula: (Pouts at Krohnen) Feelings netural, pinhead! (Pull her Eyes Down While Sticking her Tonuge at the Blue Haired Guy)

Krohnen: (Puts on a Deadpinned Look on his Face) Just get in here already.

To Be Continued........

@illyrilex

@helsic

@keyenuta

@cyber-wildcat

@caleb13frede

@26shann

@ma-lemons

@theweebmaster31

[css1992]

Damn, love your starker content. If you're looking for a prompt or something, I have one I think would be great for this pairing: TeenAU starker where Peter has braces and wants to give Tony a blowjob, even tho he's never done it before. Cue braces getting stuck followed by an embarrassing hospital trip or getting caught by someone. Tx for top tier starker.

First of all, I’m so sorry this took so long, I was having that worst writer’s block, I hope you can forgive me and I hope you’re still out there to read this! T.T Second of all, thank you so much for your kind words, sweetie, you’re too nice

High school AU, explicit, 18+

Word count: 5.7k

Summary: And even though he knew how he felt in his heart, he wasn’t quite ready to say it out loud, wasn’t ready to put it in so many words. He worried it was too soon, maybe Tony would freak out and leave, but still, he wanted to take a step further in their relationship, he wanted to show Tony how much he appreciated him. So he came up with a plan and it involved, well, his mouth. But he’d hesitated for too long and now he had freaking braces and he couldn’t help feeling a little insecure about them.

Warnings: mentions of bullying, mild violence (not explicit), anal fingering, oral sex, brief mention of blood. If you find anything triggering, please let me know!

-x-

“Come on, babe, there’s no way I’m not gonna like it, you’re beautiful, you couldn’t look bad if you tried.” Tony tried to pry Peter’s hands away from his mouth, but the younger teen held them tighter against his face, shaking his head firmly. “Please, for me? Just let me see it, you can’t hide forever, right? Get it over with.” Peter frowned, but then sighed, thinking to himself that Tony was right, there was no way he could hide it much longer anyway. Better rip that band-aid off. He took a deep breath, let his arms fall to his sides and smiled tentatively at his boyfriend. Tony held his face in his hands, thumbs stroking his cheekbones softly as he admired the metal wires and brackets on Peter’s teeth and that must have been the most embarrassing moment of his life. “You look so cute right now, you know that, right? I could eat you right up.”

“You mean it?” Peter whispered quietly, afraid that Tony would notice that he sounded funny, too, not yet used to how the braces sat against the roof of his mouth.

“Of course, munchkin.” He pulled Peter close and placed a sweet, warm kiss on his lips and it made the butterflies in his stomach go wild, but it quieted his nervous heart. He pulled away and smiled a little wider, if Tony said it was cute, then maybe –

“What’s wrong with your face, Penis? Looks like you had a fight with a cheese grater and lost.” Of course Flash wouldn’t leave it alone, Peter should have known. He closed his lips tightly and shrank against his locker, dropping his gaze to the floor, only to hear and feel Tony moving away from him and towards Flash.

“Wanna say that again, you little fucker? Come on, I fucking dare you, I’m gonna show you what’s wrong with your face, I’ll break your fucking teeth and no braces will be able to fix your ugly mug ever again, you fucking piece of shit.“ The boy kept pushing at Flash’s chest until he was cowering against the opposite wall and Peter jumped into action, pulling Tony’s arm just as other students started gathering around them in the hall, curious to see what the commotion was all about. Tony had already been suspended for punching Flash in the face not three weeks earlier, Peter couldn’t let him get in trouble again, he knew Tony’s father was… a complicated man.

“Tony, it’s ok, it’s fine, come on, leave it alone.” After a lot of pulling, he was finally able to get his boyfriend off Flash’s face. He didn’t waste any time and scurried away, yelling something over his shoulder that Peter couldn’t quite make out. Tony was fuming, face red, hands closed into fists. The younger teen peppered small kisses on his cheeks and lips to try and calm him down some, and finally the boy seemed to come back to himself. “It’s ok, I’m ok.”

“It’s really not, Pete, that asshole can’t talk to you like that, I swear to God, I’m gonna –“

“Forget about him, come on, he’s gone.” He stole a quick kiss from the older boy, who sighed heavily, burying his hands in Peter’s curls to pull him closer, deepening the kiss.

Peter still shivered and blushed at Tony’s eagerness and boldness. It was all pretty new to him, he’d never had a boyfriend before, just a few short flings. Tony, on the other hand, was – to put it mildly – very experienced. He’d dated pretty much all of the cheerleaders and a few guys on the football team. It was weird for Peter, kissing him in the halls, having Tony walk him to and from classes, sitting at the “cool table” in the cafeteria, having people that he’d never met in his whole entire life gossiping about him.  

Peter had heard so many stories about Tony before they got together that when he asked him out, almost four months earlier, he was sure it had to be a prank. There was just no way the Tony Stark could actually be interested in him, so, naturally, he said no. The older boy had looked so confused and shocked as he took a few steps away from Peter, all that famous confidence and cockiness completely gone.

“Oh,” he whispered, sticking his hands in his pockets, looking around the empty classroom he’d pulled Peter into. “I just – I mean, are you seeing someone else?”

“What?” Peter blushed, heart racing and palms sweating. He was so nervous, Tony was known for being a bit of a hothead, he always got into trouble for losing his shit and starting fights, Peter wasn’t sure if maybe he’d get angry because his prank didn’t work. “It’s not – I’m not seeing anyone, I just – I’m –” He stammered, not fully able to complete his sentences. To his surprise, the older boy didn’t get angry, he just ran a hand through his thick, dark hair and smiled in defeat.

“Is it because I got suspended last week? I swear, it wasn’t my fault, that asshole was bullying my friend. Bruce! You know him, right? He’s in the Decathlon team with you, ask him!” His eyes were wide, like maybe he’d found the reason why Peter said no, but then he quickly deflated. “Unless you just don’t wanna go out with me, which is fine, I mean, you don’t have to like me, I just thought – well, doesn’t matter.”

“Look, I know this is a prank.” Peter frowned, and Tony’s eyebrows shot into his hairline.

“Excuse me?” The older boy looked at him like he’d grown a second head, and Peter thought maybe he’d pissed him off for good. “What, you think I’m some mean girl in a teen movie or something?”

“I just – why would you even ask me out, honestly? You don’t even know me and you’re always making fun of the Decathlon team and the school band – both of which I’m a part of, in case you don’t know.” Peter had noticed Tony was always at the Decathlon competitions and band practice, and he was always laughing and whispering with his friends, and Peter could swear that he sometimes caught him looking directly at him before whispering something to James Rhodes.  

“Ok, first of all, I don’t make fun of the team or the band, I just make fun of Bruce, but that’s because he’s my best friend and we like to mess with each other, I didn’t mean to upset you, I’m sorry. And yeah, I don’t really know you, but I’d like to, that’s exactly why I’m asking you out. You’re smart, talented, and it doesn’t hurt that you’re easy on the eyes, to be honest.” He stuck his hands in his pockets and shrugged his shoulders. Peter felt his face burning and dropped his gaze to the floor. “There’s no evil plan, I just think you’re cute, is all.”

“How do I know you’re telling the truth? That you’re not messing with me?” He whispered, looking at him from under his eyelashes and, again, the older teen just shrugged.

“I guess you’ll just have to trust me, shortcake.”

And Peter did. For whatever stupid reason, he did. He didn’t really know Tony, just knew about him – knew that he was a certified genius, but also a troublemaker. He knew he was filthy rich, but he didn’t hang out with other rich kids, like Flash and Osborn, he was best friends with Rhodes, Pepper and Bruce, who, like Peter, didn’t come from money. He knew he was really popular and he dated around a lot, but he wasn’t an asshole about it – not that Peter knew, at least. He didn’t kiss and tell, he never slut-shamed anyone or leaked nudes of his exes, which was more than Peter could say about most guys in school.

So he gave it a shot, said yes and they went out for burgers. Tony was nice, funny and smart – but he was also sarcastic, short-tempered and a little arrogant. Peter wasn’t really sure how he felt about him after the date was over, but when he went to bed that night, he couldn’t stop thinking about him,  about his lips – couldn’t stop thinking about the kiss he’d dodged in his car when he dropped him home. Still, the older boy had smiled and kissed his cheek instead.

The next day, Peter was standing by his locker in between classes, talking to Ned and MJ about the movie marathon they were planning for the weekend, when he noticed the older boy approaching. Peter wasn’t sure if Tony would talk to him in front of the whole school, he had a reputation to keep and Peter was kind of a nerd, but not only did he talk to him, he also kissed his cheek as he greeted him, like it was the most natural thing in the world.

“Hey, I’m Tony,” he introduced himself to a very flustered Ned and an unimpressed and suspicious-looking MJ. The former just waved dumbly and made a weird sound at the back of his throat and the latter just nodded at him, acknowledging his presence. Tony didn’t seem to mind the weird interaction, just turned back to Peter and smiled. “Wanna grab lunch together today?”

And that was probably the very moment Peter started falling for him. Slowly, but surely. He insisted on carrying his books, walking him to class, sitting with him at lunch, he even drove him home most days, even though his house was nowhere near Queens. He was a bit of a hothead, yes, and he sure as hell was trouble – and May could smell it from a mile away when Peter introduced him – but he was also the kindest, sweetest, most amazing person Peter had ever met and he wished Tony would let other people see that.  

Peter loved him. At least he thought he did, he’d never been in love before, but he missed Tony like crazy whenever they were apart for more than five seconds; he cared if he ate properly and regularly; he worried about his health and safety all the time; he always thought about him whenever he watched rom-coms with May on movie nights; his heart fluttered whenever he was around and, more importantly, he just wanted to be with him, take care of him. All the time. If that wasn’t love, what else could it be?

And even though he knew how he felt in his heart, he wasn’t quite ready to say it out loud, wasn’t ready to put it in so many words. He worried it was too soon, maybe Tony would freak out and leave, but still, he wanted to take a step further in their relationship, he wanted to show Tony how much he appreciated him. So he came up with a plan and it involved, well, his mouth. But he’d hesitated for too long and now he had freaking braces and he couldn’t help feeling a little insecure about them.

But then Tony looked at him with those beautiful, soft brown eyes, smiled at him and stroked his cheek with such devotion, and all his insecurities melted away and he just wanted Tony to know how much he loved him.

“Hey, about this Friday,” he started, pulling away from the kiss. He was still self-conscious about how he sounded because of the braces, but Tony didn’t seem to notice anything different, at least he didn’t mention it.  

“What about it, short stuff?” He smiled sweetly, wrapping his arms around Peter’s waist, pulling him closer. He placed small kisses on his jaw and chin and the younger teen giggled, pushing him away without any force. Peter always refrained from pointing out that Tony was only a few inches taller than him – the older teen seemed so happy he found someone shorter than him to mess with,  Peter let him have his fun.

“So, you know how my aunt is dating this guy from work?” Tony frowned, a little confused, but Peter just kept looking at him expectantly.

“Yeah?”

“She told me yesterday that she’s going to spend the night at his place on Friday.” He tried to give his boyfriend a sexy smile, but then remembered that the braces would probably make it look silly, so he closed his lips quickly. Still, Tony looked very excited and interested when he realized what Peter meant.

“Yeah?” He raised an eyebrow, a lopsided grin of his own taking over his face.

“Yeah, so I thought – maybe we could order some pizza and you could, uhm, spend the night?” He dropped his gaze to somewhere around Tony’s chest, brushing off imaginary dust from his shirt, as his face grew hot, when he felt the older teen’s finger under his chin, forcing him to look up at him.  

“Pete… Are you sure?” He asked him firmly, serious, looking for a truthful answer, and Peter nodded.

“Just – uh, I’m not sure if I’m ready to go… all the way,” he whispered quietly, “but like – you know.” He blushed bright red, but Tony didn’t let him avert his gaze. He smiled and placed a chaste kiss on his lips.

“It’s okay, we don’t have to do anything. I’m actually a great cuddler, did you know that?”

“Silly.” Peter laughed, slapping him on the chest, feeling a little less nervous. “So, is that a yes?”

“That’s a hell yes, baby face.”  

For the rest of the week, Peter couldn’t think of anything else. MJ stopped listening to him by Wednesday and just rolled her eyes whenever Peter mentioned anything Friday-related, but Ned was just as invested on the date as Peter was. He helped him pick an outfit, the perfect movie and even the pizza place they’d order from. He went as far as to send him articles about how to give good blowjobs and handjobs and Peter had to draw the line there – although he did read the articles and made some research of his own.

So on Friday, Peter waved May off, promised to be good – which she didn’t believe much – and hurried to make sure everything was perfect. His bed was made, his sheets were freshly clean and smelled like fabric softener, and there were so many pillows on the couch he wasn’t sure where they were supposed to sit, but oh, well.

He dressed casual, but Ned said he looked hot when he tried the outfit on earlier that week. He hoped he did. He wore gray sweatpants and a white t-shirt that was a little tight over his chest – he didn’t have a broad, strong chest, but it looked ok. He fluffed his hair – Tony loved his curls – and tried not to give a lot of thought to the braces in his mouth, he still wasn’t comfortable with how he looked with them, but Tony always made sure to let him know he thought he still looked beautiful, so. There was that.

So when the bell rang, he took a deep breath, gave himself a little pep talk and opened the door. Tony was leaning against the doorway, looking sinfully sexy in black, ripped jeans and a leather jacket. He smiled at Peter and pulled him in for a kiss, and if the younger teen was already breathless just from looking at his boyfriend, that kiss almost sent him over.

“Hey, peanut. You look gorgeous.” He gave him a once over, as he put some distance between them, and Peter blushed slightly, slapping his chest.

“Come on in.” He opened the door further and Tony stepped inside, quickly getting rid of his jacket  and shoes, probably remembering that last time he was there aunt May almost bit his head off when he tried to walk into her living room in his combat boots.

“So, your aunt isn’t home?” He wondered out loud, taking a look around the apartment as if expecting aunt May to just jump from behind the furniture or something. It was funny, Tony was always on edge when she was around, trying to be a good boy, but she saw right through him.

“No, don’t worry, the coast is clear.” The younger teen smiled, sitting on the couch. The older boy quickly followed with a wicked grin, sitting close beside him, placing an arm around his shoulders. Peter chewed his lips and turned on the TV, feeling his heart race in anticipation. “Do you want to pick the movie?”

“No, I’m fine with whatever you wanna watch.” Tony kissed the ball of his shoulder, slowly peppering kisses along his collarbone. Peter’s breath hitched and he knew the blush was surely going all the all way from his cheeks down to his chest.

“Uhm, are you hungry yet? I thought we could order some pizza.” He turned slightly to the side, noticing that Tony didn’t seem very interested in anything else besides ravishing the skin of his neck. “Tony,” he sighed.

“Is this okay?” He whispered, moving away a little to look Peter in the eye. The younger teen turned to look back at him, nodding slowly.

Tony smiled and closed the distance between them, pulling him by the neck to kiss him deeply, slowly. Time stopped right then and there, the room was silent, the sound of their lips moving together the only thing he could hear, the burning touch of Tony’s hands on his skin the only thing he could feel.

Funny thing was, no matter how nervous he’d been up until that moment, the second their lips touched, he felt safe, wanted, loved. He knew Tony wouldn’t do anything he wasn’t comfortable with, so he let himself go, melting into his arms like like it was the safest place in the world.

He felt the older teen wrap his arms around his waist, pulling him softly, and gave in, climbing into his lap to straddle his thighs. Tony grunted when he felt Peter’s ass press down onto his jeans-clad erection and bucked his hips up, hands sliding from his waist to his lower back to pull him even closer. Peter’s heated skin shivered as their chests touched and Tony bit his lower lip, before pulling him into a messy, wet kiss. The younger boy rocked his hips eagerly, whimpering against Tony’s bitten lips as he felt his own rock-hard cock rubbing against the older teen’s taut stomach, eyes rolling back in pleasure.

Tony’s fingers ventured under his shirt, short nails scratching across the skin of his arched back, before lifting it slowly, as if asking for permission. It wouldn’t be a first, they hadn’t done much, but they’d had a few heavy make out sessions that usually ended with both of them shirtless – but not much more than that. Peter just raised his arms and let Tony take his shirt off, baring his chest, then went right back to kissing his neck, as the older teen moaned and rutted against his ass, his cock was so hard Peter could swear he could feel it pressing against his hole, begging for entrance, even through the many layers of clothing.

“Are you doing okay there, Pete?” Tony breathed into his mouth and the other boy shivered and nodded quickly, biting Tony’s chin and burying his fingers in his hair. The older teen’s teeth and tongue slowly made their way down his throat and towards his collarbone as Peter threw his head back, closing his eyes to concentrate on the feeling of his fingers squeezing the soft flesh where his hips met his ass. “I wanna try something. You trust me?” He placed soft kisses on his chest, then his tongue found one of Peter’s perked-up, sensitive nipples and he gasped, nodding frantically. “Good.”

His hands slid lower to Peter’s ass and he squeezed roughly, kneading his cheeks as he mouthed at his nipples, alternating sloppy, wet kisses with sharp, gentle nibbles, which drove the younger teen mad with want and turned the small nubs an angry red. It almost distracted him from the fact the Tony’s hands were now making their way down the back of his pants and underwear, skin to skin, the rough pads of Tony’s fingers scratching his soft flesh.

Okay, that’s new, Peter thought, and he liked it. He closed his eyes and bit his lower lip, as Tony sucked bruises on his collarbones, his fingers slowly making their way to Peter’s crack, until one of them pressed directly against his rim, touching it, but nothing else, and his breath hitched. He pulled away a little, looking down at the other teen’s face.

“Tony, I’m – I don’t think I’m –“

“Don’t worry, it’s okay, I know you’re not ready. I just wanna make you feel good, ok? Promise.” He kissed Peter’s chin softly, which made the younger boy sigh, eyes fluttering closed, as he nodded his head. “Let me know if you want me to stop, ok? Anytime you need to stop, just say the word.” Tony whispered against his pulse point and, again, Peter nodded, and then he felt the finger pressed against his hole start to move slowly, just rubbing circles against the puckered skin and Peter was so confused, because it felt fucking amazing. And dirty. And wrong. And right.

He felt Tony moving underneath him and he knew he wasn’t just rutting against him – which he was, too. He saw him take something out of his back pocket with his other hand, then the pressure against his hole disappeared, and Peter whined loudly in complaint, then blushed furiously in embarrassment. Tony smirked at him, licking his lips.

“Patience, padawan.” He placed a kiss on his chin, then Peter heard him uncap something and when he looked down, he noticed Tony was holding a tube of lube. His fingers tightened on Tony’s shoulders and the older teen looked up at him. “Hey, what did I say? Do you want to stop?” Peter shook his head quickly, holding Tony’s face in his hands.

“I trust you,” he whispered, leaning in to kiss him, and as soon as their mouths made contact, he relaxed again.

Tony held him close, deepening the kiss, and for a few minutes, that’s all they did. Peter rutted slowly against Tony’s stomach and the older teen rolled his hips in time with him, as they kissed and kissed like time meant nothing – and it didn’t. It really didn’t.

At some point, he felt the other teen’s hands sliding again down the back of his pants, he could feel his fingers were wet and colder than a few minutes earlier and he braced himself for what he knew was about to come. At first, Tony just rested a digit against his hole, rubbing it gently, not applying any pressure, and once the younger teen relaxed completely, muscles going lax, he felt one finger try to breach him.

“Umf, Tony,” he whimpered, and he wasn’t sure what he wanted to say, why he was calling his name, he just wanted to say it. The older teen shushed him, warm, wet lips pulled his earlobe into his mouth, nibbling lightly as his finger sunk in deeper and deeper into Peter. “Oh, fuck.”

Peter had fingered himself before, but it was so fucking different from having someone else – Tony – do it to him. It felt so dirty and intimate, like Tony had all this power over him, like there was nowhere he couldn’t touch, nothing he couldn’t do, like Peter’s body belonged to him. It felt exhilarating and scary and fucking awesome and hot – so fucking hot.

Peter gasped when Tony’s finger was completely sheathed and curled inside him. It burned a little and he felt impossibly stretched, but so good at the same time, a delicious kind of pain irradiated from his lower back all the way up to the back of his neck, where his hair stood on end. He closed his eyes and pushed his hips back against Tony’s hand, silently begging for him to move. The older teen didn’t waste any time, as his finger slid out slowly, then slid back inside a little quicker and surer than before, sending shivers down Peter’s spine.

The boy started rolling his hips in time with Tony’s movements, literally fucking himself on his finger, making sure to rub his leaking cock against the older teen’s stomach and his ass on Tony’s impossibly hard cock, until he felt his finger touching someplace in him that sent him to heaven and back in a matter of seconds.

“Oh, fuck, Tony, fuck.” He wrapped his arms around the older teen’s neck and clung to him like a drowning man, soft moans and whines leaving his lips unsolicited as the finger moved and moved and pushed against that bundle of nerves so deliciously, and Peter’s cock was so hard and pressed so tight against Tony’s abs and Peter really wanted to hold out, he needed to, didn’t want it to be over so soon, but fuck –

He came with a cry, nails leaving angry red marks on Tony’s neck as the older teen pulled him into a rough, hungry kiss, biting his lips and licking his mouth like the world was about to end. Peter let him, let him take control of his body and ownership of his mouth as he rode out the waves of his orgasm, thinking that there was no way he could ever feel so good ever again in his whole entire life.

He sagged against Tony’s body when he was done, completely spent, and felt him wrapping his arms around him tightly, like Peter was gonna fly away – and maybe he would, who knew – as he peppered small kisses down the side of his face and slowly withdrew his finger, leaving the younger teen painfully empty.

“Tonight was supposed to be all about you, I had a plan,” Peter mumbled after a few silent minutes, pulling away a few inches to look into Tony’s glinting eyes. The older boy grinned, holding his face in one hand to pull him into a kiss.

“Well, I had plans of my own. I guess great minds think alike.” He butted his nose against Peter’s lovingly and the younger teen smiled.  

“I guess,” he whispered, leaning down to kiss Tony again. A little roll of his hips revealed that Tony was still rock-hard and Peter took a deep breath, before pulling away, getting off his lap. Before the older teen could ask what he was doing, he was on his knees, between his spread legs, and Tony reached out to hold him by the shoulders.

“Hey, hey, hey – you don’t – you know you don’t –“

“I know.” Peter smiled again, unbuttoning his jeans carefully. He tried to remain calm so his fingers wouldn’t shake so much and Tony wouldn’t notice how nervous he was.

“Pete,” he tried, but before any more words could leave his lips, his hard cock sprung free from his jeans, which caught Peter by surprise. First, because he didn’t expect Tony not to be wearing any underwear; and second, because – fuck – he knew Tony would be big, he’d cupped him through his jeans many times before, but still – “Fuck.”

Peter took a deep breath, trying to remember everything he’d read online over the week. He closed his eyes and placed tentative kisses on the tip of his cock and down his shaft, and he heard Tony cuss under his breath, melting into the couch. It made Peter a little more confident, so he took the tip into his mouth, surprised when he felt his cock growing even bigger and heavier against his tongue, as Tony moaned loudly, hands gripping the pillows around him.

Peter hollowed his cheeks and started sucking, trying to take a little bit more of his cock into his mouth, slowly. When he was reading about blowjobs, he was afraid he wouldn’t like it, or that maybe he would gag in the middle of it, but it was actually making him hard again, seeing and feeling how turned on Tony was by his mouth on him.

He placed a hand on his heavy, tight balls, fondling them carefully, as he tried to take more of his cock into his mouth. He could almost feel the tip reaching the back of his throat, but before it did, he started pulling back, which it was enough to make Tony moan and thrash underneath him. He smiled, lips stretched wide around the other teen’s thick cock, then decided to try and take him in a little further. It was all going perfectly fine when suddenly he felt like he couldn’t keep going, like something had stuck –

“Aw, fuck! Fuck, fuck, fuck!” Peter was so shocked by the sheer desperation in Tony’s voice that he immediately tried to pull away, but Tony’s hands flew to his head, holding him in place. “No, no, no, no, no! Fuck, Pete, it’s – ah, fuck, God, it fucking –“ that was when Peter realized what was happening.

“Umf,” he was mortified, he could feel tears burning behind his eyelids as he shut his eyes tightly, not sure what to do once he realized Tony’s foreskin was stuck in his braces and it must hurt like a motherfucker, because Tony had gone soft almost immediately, as he panted and gasped for air, hands holding Peter’s head firmly in place, terrified that he’d try to move away.

“Hold on, hold on – lemme just –” he could barely finish his sentences, completely out of breath, and Peter’s face was wet with tears at that point, and he was also a little breathless. He felt Tony’s fingers in his mouth, trying the free himself carefully, but Peter could taste blood on his tongue and fuck if it wasn’t the worst night of his whole entire life. “Ah! Fuck, fuck, fuck!” Finally, he felt Tony pushing his head away as he fell sideways to the couch, both hands covering his dick as he buried his face in the cushions, trying to stifle his cries.

“Oh, my God, Tony, I’m so sorry, I’m so, so sorry!” Peter didn’t really know what to do, he didn’t even know if he should try to touch his boyfriend, he looked like he was in so much pain maybe he wouldn’t want him to, so he he sat there on the floor, frantically trying to think of what to say. “I swear I didn’t mean to, I’m so sorry!”

“I know, baby, I know, it’s okay, it’s okay, it’s okay,” but the way Tony was breathlessly whispering that into the cushions made it very clear that it was not okay.

“Jesus, Tony, what – I don’t know what to do!” He cried, panicked, and the older teen took a deep breath, raising his face a little to look at Peter, and his face was so fucking red and his eyes were shining with unshed tears.

“Ice, babe. Get me some ice, it’s gonna be fine, I promise, ok?” He was breathing a little easier by then and Peter nodded frantically, as he got to his feet and hurried to the kitchen to get an ice pack. He hurried back in record time and Tony turned on his back, taking the pack and quickly placing it on his lap, letting out a heavy sigh as he did. “Tony, should I take you to the hospital?” He asked, standing by the couch and looking down at his boyfriend, who winced.

“No, it’s fine,” he sighed with his eyes closed, but it didn’t calm Peter down, not even a little bit.

“Tony, I tasted blood!” He cried, fat tears rolling down his cheeks, and Tony reached one hand out for him to take.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay, it’s just a tiny cut, I promise. It’s just really sensitive right now, but it’s gonna be fine in a couple of minutes, I promise.” Peter didn’t want to take his hand, he wanted to run and hide, but he also didn’t want to be alone, or away from Tony, so he lay by his side, burying his face in his neck and clutching his shirt.

“I’m so sorry, Tony, this wasn’t supposed to happen, I should have known, I shouldn’t –“

“Peter, it’s fine, I promise.” They were silent for a few seconds, until Peter felt Tony’s chest trembling under his cheek. He looked up, worried that his boyfriend was crying, but he was laughing so hard there were tears in his eyes – again. “Oh, my God, I can’t believe this just happened,” he laughed harder, rubbing a hand over his face.

“It’s not funny.” Peter was so embarrassed, he wished he could bury his head in the dirt and never have to look at his boyfriend again.

“It is a little funny,” Tony managed to say as he laughed his ass off and Peter tried to get up, annoyed, but the older teen held him. “Hey, what’s the matter?” He frowned, a little confused, as he tried to stifle his laugh.

“I wanted to make you feel good, I wanted tonight to be special, and I blew it, all because of these stupid, ugly braces, I don’t even know why you’re still here after this catastrophic disaster!” He knew he was being a little dramatic and maybe he was overreacting, but he just really wanted the night to go well, and it was ruined.

“Hey, c’mon, we did have a good time. Tonight was special, is special. We’re gonna order a huge pizza, we’re gonna binge watch all Marvel movies, and if it makes you feel any better, you can kiss my pee-pee better before we go to bed, what do you say?” He smiled that stupid, beautiful smile of him; soft, brown eyes glinting with mirth.

Peter stared at Tony’s face, thinking about the absurdness of that night, thinking that what was supposed to be a hot date night ended with Tony holding an ice pack to his bleeding dick, trying to comfort Peter for basically almost biting it off. He was silent for a few seconds, contemplating all that madness, before he exploded into a fit of giggles.

“God, I love you,” he blurted out breathlessly, almost without thinking, but as soon as the words left his mouth, his face turned red and his eyes widened, panicking. Before he could take it back, though, Tony smiled softly and winked at him, placing a chaste kiss on his lips.

“I know. I love you, too, brace face.”

[z-iridest]

(A/N: Okay, guys, I hope you enjoy a little Denki Kaminari fluff ^.^ A big thank you to @lxvely-mha for helping me with the idea, if you haven't checked out their blog, YOU HAVE NOT LIVED! Lxvly, this is for you, and I hope you don't mind if I drew from your headcannons for Denki Kaminari as a boyfriend)

Hungry Eyes: A Denki Kaminari x Shy & Clumsy Female! Reader One Shot

It all started with a dance....

As the daughter of a pro hero, I had to be ready for anything. A villain attack, random people wanting an autograph from my Dad, and my Dad's infamous loud as hell outbursts to name a few. Considering that the Pro Hero I'm talking about is Present Mic, it's actually kind of ironic that his daughter is a silent, shy klutz that has a similar quirk to his. Mine is literally a sonic scream.....

My clumsiness is going to be my death one day. It's why I've never danced at any school dances, preferring to be either sitting on the sidelines, or next to the DJ booth (sometimes in it if my Dad was the DJ). I'd already embarrassed myself several times tripping over anything and everything, no reason to do it with an audience. To be fair, my Dad did try teaching me how to dance..... Hours of sore feet on my Dad's end later and me falling on my rear way too many times, we were both ready to call it quits. Speaking of my Dad....

There's only a handful of people I've ever talked outloud to: My Dad, My Mom, and my Uncle: Shota Aizawa (yeah, Aizawa is my godfather, get over it). Everyone else, I talk to using JSL or writing down what I want to say. I only talk to people I'm not comfortable around when it's an absolute necessity. Why? Allow me to take you back a few months ago....

See, when I first started at U.A., I started dating this guy... You actually know him. Remember Monoma from Class 1-B? Yeah....

Well, everything was going great with him... Until I caught him making out with a different girl. He had the audacity to tell me it was my own fault for not measuring up to his "perfect standards" and told me I'd never be good enough to live up to my Dad's rep as a Pro Hero, that I was a waste of space. I kinda just shut down after that, refusing to talk to my Dad or Uncle Shota for a while, especially since Monoma spread a rumor around school that I was quirkless. That got me bullied a bit until Dad got wind of it.....

Boy, was he mad....

But don't worry! Everything's fine now. The rumors died down about a month ago, though I think that was mainly due to me joining the BakuSquad.... For those who don't know, the BakuSquad is a group of a bunch of loveable goofballs and their explosive pomeranian of a leader: Katsuki Bakugo. Mina was the one who brought me into the group, and thank god, they never pushed me to talk. I mainly just listened to their antics and tried to hold back fits of laughter. It almost felt normal...

Almost....

Since we broke up, Monoma has a bad habit of cornering me at my locker after school to try to get me to go back to dating him. I always tell him no, and he pushes me around until either Kirishima, Bakugo, Sero or Kaminari come looking for me. I think deep down, he's scared half to hell of Kaminari, because the one time Monoma didn't stop when Kaminari told him to... Oh boy, Pikachu Boy went all out on Monoma, shocking him until he made a run for it. It was actually really funny to watch, I won't lie.....

Back to what I was saying: As the kid of a pro hero, you have to be ready for anything. But, that's where fate'll get you good...

When you least expect it, fate can just (excuse my french) bitch slap you out of nowhere. For example.....

"You did what?!" The only reason I was talking to Mina and Jiro at that second was out of shock. We were in my dorm room, so there was no one around to hear me talk anyways outside of Mina and Jirou.

"Mina decided to nominate you and Kaminari for the couple to do the first dance at the Mid-Summer Dance this year for the first years, and you guys won the school's vote." Jirou told me. I let out a humiliated whine and plopped facedown onto my pillow. The Mid Summer Dance was a school wide dance party to have fun in the final days of summer. One couple from each year did the first, second and third slow dances, the first years being the ones to kick off the actual dance. I felt a hand on my back.

"Aww, come on, Y/N, it's not that bad." Mina's voice told me. I sat up faster than Iida can run, and looked at her with a look that told her I thought she was crazy.

"Are you forgetting who you're talking to? The resident klutz of U.A. High, that's who! I'm gonna die, that's it! Game over, no pro hero career for me! Y/N Yamada, dead at 16! Cause of death: Embarrassing tumble in front of the whole school! I'll be lucky if the dress I wear that night doesn't rip or something on the way there." I burried my face in my pillow again. "Besides, I don't know how to dance. I've always avoided the dancefloor at parties or anything like that."

"Why don't you just ask Kaminari to teach you how to dance?" Jirou asked.

"I've never talked in front of him, remember? And I can't ask him, it'd be too embarrassing." I reminded Jirou.

"Fine, if you won't ask Kaminari to teach you how to dance, I'll ask him for you." Mina's words pierced me with more horror than any thriller movie. Believe me, that's saying something because I hate horror movies.

"No, no, no, no, no!" I shouted, jumping up, but Mina was already out of my room, calling for Kaminari. I raced out of my room after her, but by the time I caught up, she was already telling Kaminari. Crap....The second Kaminari locked eyes with me, I bolted back into my room and hid in the closet. Damn it, Mina! I felt heat rise to my face. Great, now I'm blushing.... Just a few minutes later, I heard footsteps. They stopped before I heard voices.

"Jirou, have you seen Y/N?" Kaminari's voice.

"She's hiding in there." Traitor. I heard footsteps walk away. Okay, maybe Kaminari walked away. Maybe he...

"Y/N?" Damn it, he didn't walk away. "Why didn't you tell me you couldn't dance?" I slowly came out of the closet and signed my answer in JSL.

I thought it was obvious. I'm the resident klutz of U.A., so....

"You're scared of falling in front of everyone? You always seem so fearless." Kaminari told me, sitting on my bed. I gave him a You've gotta be kidding me look as I sat down next to him. "I'm serious!"

Looks can be deceiving. I'm scared of everything. I put on a facade during training to make it look like I'm not scared when I actually am.

"You're still such a badass... Anyway, back to the dance. What were you gonna do when the night of the dance came and you still didn't know how to dance?" Kaminari asked me. I shrugged.

I would have figured out something.

"Like what, bailing on the dance all together?" Kaminari asked, raising an eyebrow. I opened my mouth, but quickly closed it. That had been the last resort. "That's what I thought." He stood up and offered his hand to me. "Come on, the dance is a couple weeks away, but we'd better start now if you're gonna be ready." With no other choice, I placed my hand in Kaminari's, a sudden spark flowing from me to him.

And it wasn't from his quirk.

I didn't have time to ponder what the spark even was, because Kaminari pulled me up off my bed and started pulling me to the gym where the dance would be held. I had just enough time to notice how perfectly my hand seemed to fit in his. What's wrong with me?

It was then that the real work began. While keeping up with studying and homework from all my classes (which I had to help Kaminari with most of), and planning the dance with the Dance Committee, I was taking dance lessons with Kaminari. Surprisingly, no matter how much I stepped on his toes, he stayed patient and helped me through it. Everytime I tripped and started falling, he caught me easily. "Now that the worst's happened, you don't have to be scared. I've got you." Kaminari had told me with a wink the first time I had tripped and he had caught me. I have no idea why, but I started blushing like an idiot around him, and kept tripping outside of our dance lessons, worse than my normal clumsiness. If this is what having a crush was, I was falling hard for the human Pikachu.... Literally.

Before I knew it, it was the day before the dance. Kaminari and I danced alone in the gym, and much to my own surprise, I didn't trip. Not once. Kaminari was grinning wider than a Cheshire cat when we finally finished.

"Yes! I knew you could do it, that was awesome!" Kaminari exclaimed with the biggest smile on his face as he pumped both fists in the air. I covered my mouth to keep a laugh in, but it slipped out in a giggle. When I looked up, Denki was looking at me with the most adorable look ever. His head was tilted to one side slightly, and his eyes held this just... Adoring look. "Y'know... Your laugh is adorable." I felt the heat rise to my face as I looked away from him. "I mean it." He made me look at him, giving me a sweet smile. He was so close, one single move from either of us, and we'd be kissing. He cleared his throat after a good long minute, giving me a sheepish smile. "Want to run through it one more time?" He asked me. I nodded and we danced again. I couldn't stop the smile on my face as I danced, feeling happy for the first time in a long time. I noticed that the more I smiled, the more Denki smiled. As we finished the routine perfectly for the second time that day, I felt Denki interlace his fingers with mine, the look on his face serious. He raised one hand, gently cupping the side of my face. My heart started pounding fiercely against my chest. What was going to happen next? "Y/N.... I want to ask you something...." He told me, his eyes and his voice soft. Just as he opened his mouth to continue, my phone rang. I groaned.

"Sorry, I gotta take this." I shrugged before answering my phone.

"Y/N, where are you? We have to do the final preparations for the party!" Mina's voice shrilled at the other end. Iida must have been right there, otherwise she wouldn't have called me about something like this.

"Do I really have to be there?" I asked.

"No, I just need you to answer a couple things over the phone." Mina told me.

"Go for it." I told her, giving Kaminari an apologetic look. He gave me a thumbs up as if silently telling me it was fine. I leaned against the wall behind me as I listened to Mina's questions, answering each one. Everytime I talked, I noticed Denki having that same adoring look on his face. Just as I shifted against the wall a bit, I saw Kaminari start to walk over to me.

"Y/N?" Kaminari called my name, and I noticed he had a determined look on his face."I was wondering... Do you want to go to the dance with me?" I put the phone down for a second, feeling a little confused.

"Yeah, I mean, the BakuSquad's all going together, right? I think Bakugo has us leaving the dorms around 7 or something..." I told him. I heard Mina call my name and put the phone back to my ear. Jeeze, how many more questions did this girl have?

"No, I mean, with me." Denki told me. What was he getting at?

"Yeah, I can swing by your dorm around 6:30." I told him. He did mean arrive there as a group with the squad.... Didn't he? Mina asked me another question before I could think about what he meant. "Yeah, when you're facing the stage it has to go on the left... Right." I shook my head as Mina sounded confused. "No, the left, not the right." I heard Denki mumble something under his breath, something along the lines of,

"Oh man, this is gonna be hard." I suddenly felt his hand on mine as he placed his other arm on the wall next to me. Is he... Doing the kabedon on me? I felt my cheeks turn bright red, as he was really, really close to me now. I was forced to look into his gold eyes, which held a very serious look. "Y/N..." He moved my phone fully from my ear, keeping my closed hand in his. I swear, Mina was intently listening in, because I could hear her suddenly go silent on the other line. "Would you.... Be my date for the Mid-Summer Dance?" A smile crept onto my face, which caused him to chuckle a bit. "And... If you don't absolutely hate me by the end of it... Would you... consider... Maybe, being more than friends?" I smiled up at him brighter. I was getting asked out by my crush! "Maybe?"

"Like... Boyfriend and girlfriend where we can... Hold hands instead of just fist bumping and slugging each other all the time, and... We can text, and I can tell you how great you are, because, Kaminari, you really are great, and I'm the luckiest girl in the world, you're so sweet and adorable, and..." I suddenly felt something warm and soft against my lips, effectively cutting me off. Despite the dark blush on my face, I melted into Denki's kiss. When we finally pulled away, he grinned down at me.

"First of all, you call me Denki. And second, if anyone's the lucky one, it's me, sweetheart." I closed my eyes and blushed darker, if it was humanly possible, as he softly kissed my forehead. I giggled and hugged him, feeling him hug me back. "Well then, milady, until tomorrow night." He grinned goofily as he held my hand in his, bowing and pressing a soft kiss to the back of my hand. With a wink and the most adorable smile, he was gone.

When I got back to the dorms, I was greeted by all the girls, each one having the stupidest smile on their faces as they all sat in the common room. I blushed under their stares and said only two words, knowing Mina had heard what had happened after dance practice and had told all the girls. "Shut up." I told them, causing all of them to burst into a giggle fit.

Right after school the next day, the girls of 1-A practically dragged me to my room to get me ready for the dance. Mina, Momo and Ochaco teamed up on picking the dress while Toru and Jirou teamed up on curing my hair. Once my hair was finished being curled and fully hair sprayed, Toru pinned one side of my hair out of my face with bobby pins before Mina, Asui and Ochaco carefully helped me into the dress they chose: an adorable white, off the shoulder sundress that fell to my knees in length. While Ochaco grabbed a pair of white heels for me to wear, Mina did my makeup for me. I put my heels on myself once Mina was done and grabbed my purse, blushing when I saw that all the girls were admiring their work. "Twirl, Y/N! Twirl for us!" Toru cheered at me. I blushed and twirled. The dress spun before falling back into place, the girls awwing before I spoke up, looking at the time.

"Uh, guys? It's 6:45." My words forced them into action, a unanimous:

"Oh, crap!" Leaving each of the girls as they scampered off to go get ready, realizing they had very little time left to ready themselves because of fawning over every little detail when it came to me. I giggled and looked at my reflection. I didn't look completely like myself, but for the first time in a long time... I felt... Beautiful.

At 7, I left the comfortable confines of my room to join everyone else in the common room. I felt my face turn dark red as the chatter from the boys suddenly stopped, all attention on me.

"Damn, Yamada, you look great." Kirishima spoke up first, a grin on his face.

"Great? Try goregous!" Sero spoke up. All the boys except for Bakugo, Midoriya, Todoroki and Kamin... I mean Denki, started arguing about what word was best to describe me. I snuck a look at Denki. That teasing bastard was wearing black dress pants with really nice black shoes and a tucked in, white button up shirt with the top two buttons undone. He just had to dress like that for tonight... I exchanged glances with Denki, and I swear, there was a shit-eating grin on Kaminari's face as he wrapped his arms around me.

"Man, if I'd known you'd get all cleaned up this good for me, I would have asked you out weeks ago." Denki told me as he looked down at me.

"Blame the girls, they wouldn't let me out of my room until I accepted their wish to do a full on makeover." I blushed darker. "You cleaned up really nice too, by the way." He grinned down at me before pressing a kiss to my forehead.

"Only for my baby... Besides, girls should know you didn't need to put on makeup and style your hair just to impress me, princess. You're beautiful to me no matter what you look like." He whispered in my ear before softly kissing the tip of my nose. I hid my dark red face in his chest as Kaminari spoke up over the guys, cutting off their arguement. "It's all very flattering, but the best word to describe her is simple: Angelic." I could practically feel the cheesy smile he was shooting at me in that second. I looked up at him and opened my mouth to respond, but the girls had joined us just then.

When we got there, Dad was blasting music left and right, doing his DJ thing as always. I laughed a bit as I saw him living up. I had to admit, the decoration committee did an awesome job at turning the big old gym into a dancefloor. I felt Kaminari kiss my cheek and I turned toward him. "Go ahead and say hi to your Dad, I'll grab us some punch." He told me. I smiled and nodded before pulling him down into a quick kiss... Which he turned into 3 sweet little pecks. I giggled and he winked before leaving my side. As I made my way toward the DJ booth, Jirou caught me.

"Y'know, we all knew he had a crush on you. As soon as you guys started doing dance lessons, he suddenly stopped flirting with all the girls and started keeping Mineta in line." She told me.

"Seriously?" I asked. She nodded.

"Yeah, Mina and I knew it was a matter of time before he asked you out. We just weren't expecting it to happen yesterday." She told me. I smiled. "I really am happy for you guys. You especially look extremely happy."

"I haven't smiled like this in a long time, Jirou." I told her honestly. She smiled and we exchanged a hug before I continued walking toward my Dad. He grinned when he saw me and exited the DJ booth for a second to give me a hug.

"You look beautiful, baby bird." Dad told me, tucking a stray curl behind my ear. I smiled up at him.

"Thanks, Dad." I told him.

"You nervous for the dance?"

"A little. But, I've been practicing for the past two weeks, so I think I'll be okay."

"Who is your partner anyway? Everytime I was about to find out, I got pulled away."

"You'll see, Dad." I winked at him before leaving to rejoin Denki. Instead, I ran into the only person who could ruin the night for me.....

"Wow, Y/N, you never dressed like this for me." Monoma crooned at me.

"I never felt comfortable until now, please excuse me." I said as I started to walk away. My heart came to a slamming hault in my chest as Monoma grabbed my wrist, stopping me from going anywhere. "M-Monoma, let me go!" I told him, feeling a panic attack coming on. My anxiety was shooting through the roof....

"You're not going anywhere with him." Monoma hissed at me. "You're mine."

"Not anymore." I yanked my wrist out of his grip, gingerly holding it. "Denki cares about me way more than you ever could care. You don't care about anyone but yourself, and I'd take back dating you if I could." I told him, trying to calm myself down. He growled, roughly grabbing my arm and pushing me into a corner. My breathing got so short, I couldn't breathe.

"Wrong move." He snarled at me. Right before he could touch me, he yelped, a spark of electricity zapping through him. Behind him was Denki, his quirk crackling in his right hand, and boy did he looked pissed.

"Denki." A breath of relief left me as I scampered behind him, feeling his right hand hold mine as Monoma growled angrily, getting back up.

"Nobody puts my baby in a corner." Denki snarled, aiming a bolt of his quirk at the ground near Monoma's feet. That blue eyed, selfish blond screamed like a girl and ran for it, his classmates laughing at him while Kendo scolded him. As soon as Monoma was gone, Denki deactivated his quirk, turned around and wrapped his arms around me protectively. "You okay, babe?" He asked. I nodded.

"I am now." I told him before kissing his cheek. "Thanks for saving me." He grinned down at me and winked just as my Dad announced that it was time to dance. He let go of me and offered his arm.

"Shall we, milady?" He asked. I giggled and took his arm.

"Do you even have to ask?" I questioned in counter. He chuckled before leading me to the dancefloor. Once of the floor, we took our starting positions before the beat of the song started. (A/N: Start listening to Hungry Eyes by Eric Carmen for this part ^.^).

As soon as the beat started, we started to move, our eyes never leaving each other. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see all of Class 1-A gathered around us, watching us as we danced. "Everyone's watching us." I whispered to him.

"They don't matter right now. It's just you and me right now, baby." He whispered back with a grin. I giggled as I had fun, dancing with him. I knew, without a doubt, that my Dad was watching us, and I mentally cringed. Denki wasn't exactly popular with the teachers in a good way..... My thoughts distracted me enough to make me trip over my own feet after the second verse. Thank God for Denki, because he caught me and made it look like he was dipping me, which caused our classmates to cheer. He winked. "Told you I'd catch you." He softly told me. I smiled and we continued to dance, Denki spinning me at certain points and the next dip he did being during the instrumental after the bridge after twirling me again.

We continued dancing until the music started to fade out, stopping in the middle and slowly bringing our conjoined hands down. A roar of applause thundered from the crowd and Denki pulled me into a hug. I did it.... I danced with my boyfriend without getting embarrased! I felt him tense a bit after a second and I turned to see my Dad giving Denki the "I'm watching you" look. I rolled my eyes and pulled Denki into a kiss, feeling him hold me tighter as we kissed.

This night couldn't have been more perfect.....

Epliouge ( A/N: Extra just for fun!)

A couple days after the dance, Monoma tried to corner me again, this time being stupid enough to do it while the BakuSquad was still around me. I heard a snarl leave my boyfriend, but I put my hand out, stopping him from doing anything as I glared at my ex as he fired off insult after insult at me. But, he really crossed the line, pissing me off in the process, when he insulted Denki. Finally having had enough, I slammed my locker shut and faced Monoma with the sharpest glare on my face. If looks could kill.... "Monoma, you are absolutely pathetic. You can say whatever you want about me, but insulting my boyfriend? It's about time you GET A LIFE!" I used my quirk on Monoma, letting out the loud energy I had contained for months on end thanks to him. He flew backwards and hit the wall while Sero, Kirishima, even Bakugo laughed their asses off. Denki smirked as he wrapped his arms around me.

"Told you: You're a badass." Denki told me.

"Come on, guys, let's get the hell out of here." I told my friends, walking out beside my boyfriend.

(A/N: Tada! ^.^ Hope you guys enjoyed!)

Taglist: @lxvely-mha @fakeanimefanntnt

[void-galaxy-shenanigans]

Hot take that shouldn’t be a hot take:

Men (more accurately, AMAB people) are not more likely to be s-xual predators by birth & hormones & etc. They are more likely to be s-xual predators because majority of modern households still reinforce the concept that men own (literally; theft of autonomy, theft of choice, theft of individuality, theft of basic needs such as safety & shelter if disobeyed, etc.) both women (AFAB people) & children, because without a tough predator who can challenge your safety to force you in line, the “nuclear family” (cishet, often white (& rarely mixed races) mother daughter father son) & capitalism will fail.

If there’s an ab*sive or potentially ab*sive father figure &/or husband to enforce the idea that women & children are just capital that further the prosperity of their country, then capitalism thrives & the rich get richer.

If the “nuclear family” is challenged by LGBT+/MOGAI/queer couples, &/or transgender couples, &/or bodily autonomy for children &/or women &/or both/all partners, &/or non-white/melanated couples, people from second or third world countries who aren't yet collapsed under the resignment & apathy that capitalism demands, &/or any other group that is seen as “lesser than” or “meant to be dominated”, capitalism itself is threatened.

Also, ab*se allows for capitalism to thrive because the “capital” people (the non-rich), the slaves & workers & prisoners & etc., are all too traumatized to demand better. They either have a fight response where they push their way to the top to become capitalists above others, freeze response where they physically can't say no (shut down) when others force them to do more than they should, or a fawn + normalization response where they're too terrified to stand up for themselves & constantly rushing to please authority. (Arguably, it even encourages mental illness diagnoses & systemhood, because it encourages ab*se & then diagnoses symptoms of being alive in this chaotic h*ll as disorders - they recently made a diagnosis for ‘you can't stay awake during a full night shift because your body is broken’, AKA your body is on a typical human rhythm that is built for sleep during night & wake during day. They also cause most anxiety disorders & depression diagnoses, because anxious & depressed people are too busy bullying themselves & being afraid of consequences from authority to stand up to capitalism. & systems almost always default to fight &/or fawn responses at work, which benefits capitalism) They encourage bullying too, & turn a blind eye, because united kids will become united adults who are willing to fight for eachother instead of against each other...& capitalism requires in-fighting. It requires competition to be “the best”, “the least disabled/crippled” (school’s least days missed awards), “the most important”, “the smartest”, etc.

Not having a proper support system for disabled people is also inherently part of capitalism, because if you empower everyone to be equal & value one another (or more accurately to have equity), then capitalism’s competition scheme fails.

It also often makes you apathetic &/or complacent because “it could be worse”, so you're unlikely to fight back for that reason too.

Being stuck in trauma mode benefits capitalism.

Narcissism (& sociopathy & psychopathy, to some extent) also benefits capitalism. They're “good” leaders, because if they're stuck in narcissistic mode unable to heal then they can be used to scare others into obedience & they don't care as much if they harm “inferior” (lower tier) coworkers & peers. If all narcissists healed, capitalism would struggle.

Also hence, gatekeeping healing. You must heal this way, cope this way, etc., all “capital” (non rich people) is the same. Because if people truly heal, & heal their own way, & love themselves & their body & their neighbors wholeheartedly, there can't be so much fear-mongering & using your insecurities to sell products & etc., because you'll see it for what it is. You're not easily manipulated when you've healed (& not perpetuated) generational trauma.

To collapse capitalism, you need healed trauma, equity, empathy, & respect for others (& for others’ autonomy).

So the government will likely only continue to reinforce r*pe culture, predatory behavior, racism, s-xism, etc., & turn a blind eye to child & domestic ab*se & bullying, until capitalism itself falls....because capitalism thrives on the masses being too afraid to rise up & being too busy fighting each other. (tone for this & all above: srs, solemn, concerned for the masses)

¡Have a nice day with that thought in your head! ☺ (/lighthearted)

(no but please think about this, it's important asf & I can't stop thinking about it (/srs))

~Alaska (he/they/xey (no particular preference, all are equally good so long as you don't just pick one & ignore the others); protector)