#because at a young age I couldn't understand him in depth

[queenshelby]

AMERICAN GIRL (PART ONE)

Pairing: Tommy Shelby x Grace's Stepdaughter!Reader

Warning: Grace is a bully, infidelity, taboo

On a brisk autumn day, you and your younger sibling Emma sailed into Liverpool harbor. You each carried a large, old-fashioned cart filled with towering brown suitcases, with a satchel casually slung over your shoulders.

The journey had left Emma exhausted, clinging to you as she marvelled at the unfamiliar sights of the port with wide eyes.

"I'm afraid," she confided in you, her words barely audible as they grazed your ear.

"I understand Em, but we have each other, and I will always look after you," you comforted her, putting on a smile. You promised to always take care of Emma, and true to your word, you have been her guardian angel since the day she arrived in this world.

Shortly after Emma was born, your mother sadly passed away due to unexpected complications during the pregnancy at her age.

It was a shock to everyone and left you to step into the roles of both mother and sister to Emma at the young age of 12.

Even in your youth, you held onto the hope that your father would one day find love again. Little did you expect that it would come in the form of Grace Burgess who was a young Irish woman with no money to her name after fleeing England in a haste. Grace had cleverly leveraged his wealth and power to her benefit despite their significant age difference.

Your father fell head over heels for her the moment he laid eyes on her at the corner grocery store in New York, just after your 13th birthday.

Their romance blossomed quickly, leading to marriage in less than a year.

At the tender age of seventeen, your father's love for her tragically transformed into heartbreak as she started a romantic relationship with a man from England - the very same man you were about to start living with.

Thomas Shelby was a name that sent shivers down the spine of those who knew of him - an enigmatic and formidable figure who held significant sway in the depths of England.

In the streets of Birmingham, he controlled his own illicit kingdom, bending the rules to his liking. And yet, your stepmother Grace couldn't help but be drawn to him, just as she had been to your father all those years ago when they first crossed paths.

Just before ending his life due to a broken heart, your wealthy father decided to cut ties with his second wife, leaving all his possessions to you and your sister for your 21st birthdays. This decision left Grace boiling with rage.

Soon after, she vanished to be with her lover in England and the two of you were forced to reside with a cruel family member instead as you had not yet turned 21, being the age of adulthood in America.

Within less than a year of living with this man however, you brought about his demise with a single bullet to the head, all because he dared to touch your sister Emma. It was in that moment that your entire world began to shift.

After a series of run-ins with the law leading to stints in juvenile detention, your father's lawyer came to the rescue, securing your freedom at the age of nineteen, albeit with the catch that you had to leave the country for good.

Of course, you gave your consent, but you were taken aback when it was revealed that your grandparents had struck a deal with Grace, out of all people, to care for you and Emma until you turned 21 and inherited half of your father's wealth.

What also came as a shock was the discovery that for the past two years, your family had been colluding with the Shelby Family, smuggling liquor into the United States without your knowledge and you knew that this must have been Grace's doing.

Grace had always been fascinated by the concept of wealth, much like your grandparents and uncle who shared her passion. Therefore, it didn't come as a shock to you when you recently stumbled upon the name 'Shelby Company Limited' in multiple transaction records within your grandfather's office.

While you understood the reasons behind everything relating to the business deals between your family and the Shelbys, the mystery still lingered as to why Grace decided to take you and Emma in after all the turmoil she had caused. After all, she had found herself entwined with a man of considerable wealth, so she had no need for the money that your family would have been willing to pay her for looking after you and your sister unless, of course, she was worried it wouldn’t last.

After two years had passed, this man still hadn't made her his wife, leaving you to ponder whether she harboured any doubts about his commitment to ever tying the knot.

Your stepmother may have been anxious about her partner abandoning her once the business arrangement in the US came to an end, a deal that she likely orchestrated and this, in itself, made you think that, perhaps, you would now finally have the upper hand.

As any young woman in your situation would, you nurtured a deep-seated anger towards Grace. She was the last person you wanted to rely on, let alone live with.

But you shoved those emotions down as you and Emma disembarked the large ship, weaving through the bustling crowd, ready for what lay ahead.

Just as instructed, outside the dock, you were greeted by a young man named Finn.

Finn, in his early twenties, extended his hand to take your luggage with a friendly smile as you approached.

"I am Finn, and you must be Y/N and Emma, right? Tommy has sent me to pick you up," he told you and Emma clung to you tightly, before peering at Finn suspiciously.

"Nice to meet you, Finn," you replied, offering a warm, polite smile.

Once your luggage was stored securely in the back of the Bentley, the three of you set off on the two-hour journey from Liverpool to Birmingham.

Emma's head rested on your shoulder as she slowly drifted off to sleep, her energy depleted from the journey, while Finn was attempting to make small talk with you while, occasionally, looking back through the rear-view mirror.

It was obvious to you that he had already taken a liking in you, but his youthful charm and charisma was not enough to sway you, not after everything that had happened in the past.

You acknowledged his attempts with brief responses, unable to fully engage in the conversation until he brought up the fact that you had killed a man.

"So, my brother mentioned that you had to leave New York because you killed someone. Is it true?" Finn questioned earnestly and without any filter whatsoever.

Your heart raced as you contemplated the best way to respond to his question.

"Yes, it's true," you finally admitted bluntly, looking straight ahead, not wanting to engage in a detailed conversation about it.

Finn, seemingly surprised by your response, paused before shifting the Bentley into a higher gear.

"Did you shoot him?" he asked, curiosity piqued.

You nodded, your jaw set.

Finn didn't press for more details, for which you were grateful. But you could sense his intrigue as he glanced at you through the rearview mirror.

Emma stirred in her sleep, mumbling softly, drawing your attention back to her peaceful face. You smoothed her unruly hair back, your heart swelling with protectiveness.

You would do anything to keep her safe. After all, you had already lost so much in your life already, so you could not lose her as well. 

***

Eventually, the streets of Birmingham came into view, appearing as a striking contrast to the glamour and elegance of your hometown. 

"Wow, this is different," you murmured to yourself, your gaze locked on the sprawling slums that lay outside the car window. There were workers fighting each other and whores selling themselves on the cobblestone streets, while children ran in all directions, many of them ragged and filthy.

"Don't worry. I am taking you somewhere nice," Finn assured you, seeing the look on your face and you could only hope that he was right, because if this was what Birmingham looked like everywhere, you wondered how you could possibly survive here for the next two years.

Despite Finn's enthusiasm, something about the place left you feeling uneasy, like a predator lurked in the shadows and you could see the appeal for criminals to operate here.

Before long, the Bentley turned into the private road of a luxurious home outside of Birmingham  .

The driveway was long, shielded by trees, and it wasn't until the last bend that you caught a glimpse of the mansion at the end.

The house was stunning, with intricately carved mahogany furnishings, rich velvet curtains framing large bay windows, and marble floors polished to a high sheen.

The structure exuded opulence while maintaining a cozy air with its plush décor.

Upon arrival, Finn hopped out of the driver's seat and opened the back door for you and Emma.

You carefully stepped out onto the cobblestone driveway, feeling the weight of this new world pressing down upon you. Emma rubbed her eyes and slowly emerged from her drowsy state, taking in the splendor of the ornate mansion with fascination and open admiration.

Finn led you through the imposing oak door, which creaked slightly as he pulled it open. As soon as you entered, you were met with a grand foyer adorned with chandeliers that cast an amber glow upon the walls.

"You made it," Grace 's stern voice eventually echoed off the marble tiles, causing you to turn around.

She stood there in a long-sleeved maroon blouse and black pencil skirt, her piercing blue eyes sizing you up like some sort of puzzle she couldn't wait to solve.

Emma, seemingly intimidated by her appearance, slowly retreated behind you as Grace approached with determination.

"You look well, given the circumstances," she then said to you, her voice laced with a noticeable hint of sarcasm, causing you to roll your eyes.

"I was hoping not to see you again, but here we are," you murmured under your breath, drawing Grace's ire as she narrowed her bright blue eyes infinitesimally.

"You should be grateful that I took you in," she snarled sharply, causing you to chuckle.

"How much are my grandparents paying you to have us?" you said, unflinching, watching Grace's face for a reaction.

Grace's expression barely changed, merely raising an eyebrow as if amused before replying scathingly, "Nothing. At least not until you make it to 21, so you better behave," she warned.

You took a deep breath, realizing that this was not the time to engage in a war of words with your stepmother. You turned to Emma and noticed that she was trembling slightly and you could see the worry etched into her delicate features. You slipped your arm around her shoulders, pulling her close and offering what you hoped was a reassuring smile.

"Let's get you settled in," you said softly to Emma, who managed a weak nod in response as Grace turned and led the way down the grand hallway.

"The maids will show you to your rooms. You will be staying in the staffing quarters,"  Grace snapped as she pivoted and strode through an arched doorway, leaving you and Emma with two young women wearing crisp white aprons who appeared in your line of vision.

You watched silently as Grace disappeared before you turned to Emma, smiling despite the tension thickening in the air, and whispered gently, "She can't hurt us, Em. She needs us. So just ignore her." 

Emma nodded slowly, but it was clear that she wasn't entirely convinced.

You couldn't blame her - the past few years had been nothing but a series of harsh lessons for both of you, leaving you both vulnerable and wary. But deep down, you knew that things would be different here. This was a new beginning for the two of you, away from the cold-hearted family members who had mistreated you, and into the care of someone who, while intimidating and unpredictable, was bound to follow your father's final wishes for financial reasons.

You were determined to make the best of this opportunity, no matter how difficult that might be considering your complicated history with Grace and, with that in mind, you unpacked your suitcases and settled in.

The rooms were modest but comfortable, with the staff quarters being clean and well looked after, much to your surprise.

Soon enough, your first day in Birmingham was drawing to a close and after you put Emma to bed, you decided to have a warm bath before venturing out to explore this somewhat opulent mansion. 

You put on the satin robe which once belonged to your mother and strolled towards the grand staircase with bare feet, looking at all of the incredible paintings that lined the walls, showcasing various landscapes and portraits of people whose names you did not yet know.

As you reached the second floor, you came across a door which seemed slightly ajar and upon pushing it open, you discovered a library.

Your eyes widened at the sight of thousands of books neatly arranged on wooden bookshelves that stretched from floor to ceiling before, in the room next to it, finding a large piano.

You walked over to the piano and gently touched its surface, marveling at the intricate carvings before looking back at the books surrounding you.

The library was quiet, save for the occasional creak of the old wooden floorboards settling. You moved further into the room, running your fingers along the spines of various titles.

There were novels from authors you recognized like Charles Dickens, Jane Austen and the Bronte sisters but there was also an array of non-fiction texts ranging from science, philosophy to mathematics and history.

There was also a section dedicated to poetry where you spotted a few works by Lord Byron, Samuel Taylor Coleridge and William Wordsworth which intrigued you.

Despite the vast quantities of books in this room, the smell of old leather-bound volumes filled the air as if it was just yesterday when they were placed on these mahogany shelves.

Just as you were about to pick up a book of poetry, the door creaked open, and you heard a dark voice behind you.

"It's quite sad, really," the man said, his tone heavy with contempt. "The book, I mean," he clarified as you turned around, meeting the stranger's gaze.

"I am Thomas Shelby and you must be Y/N,"  he introduced himself, approaching you with a confident stride.

Your eyes widened as you took in the sight of the man who stood before you. He was handsome, there was no denying that, but it wasn't just his chiseled features or his magnetic blue eyes that caught your attention. No, it was the air of danger that surrounded him, like a cloud that warned others not to get too close.

You composed yourself, extending your hand towards him. "Yes, I am Y/N. It's a pleasure to meet you, Mr Shelby," you greeted him with a polite smile, determined to maintain your composure.

"Please, call me Tommy, eh,"  Thomas replied, his cockney accent more pronounced than you'd expected.

He took your offered hand, giving it a firm shake before letting go and stepping back to study you with his intense gaze which lingered a little longer on your bare legs than it probably should.

"Thank you for letting me and my sister stay here, with you," you said almost professionally , breaking the silence. You had to admit, Thomas was an intimidating man but you held your ground without flinching under his scrutiny.

"Well, it wasn't my choice," he chuckled. "Grace practically begged me and I find it rather difficult to say no to her these days,"  he admitted, his tone softening.

You couldn't help but raise an eyebrow at his candidness. "Well, my stepmother can be persuasive, I give her that," you told him while putting the book back into the shelf. 

"You could say that," he replied, offering little insight into their relationship. "Do you drink?" Thomas asked in a manner so casual that the question caught you off guard, but your curiosity was sparked, and you wanted to know more about him. Despite his intimidating presence, he struck you as an intriguing puzzle you couldn't wait to solve.

"I wouldn't say no," you responded with a slight tilt of your head, smiling coyly.

Thomas chuckled at your response before turning around to pour two glasses of whiskey from a crystal decanter on the leather-topped table nearby. With an elegant grace, he handed one to you.

You took it with a slight nod, allowing your fingers to graze his before taking hold of the glass. The warmth spread from your fingertips and up your arm, causing a pleasant shiver to run down your spine.

"There you go, now you can keep me some company," Tommy said with a sly grin as he took a sip of his whiskey and sat down.

"Why don't you get Grace to keep you company?" you asked as you followed suit, feeling the alcohol burn your throat and spread through your body, warming you from the inside out. 

"Because, by now, I would assume that she is sound asleep," Thomas replied, chuckling wryly.

"Well, it is midnight already, which brings me to the question of why you are still up," you asked, raising an eyebrow at him.

"Because I can't fucking sleep, Love," he replied in a tone of voice that made your heart race, "there is always business on my mind, day and night." 

You stared at him for a moment, contemplating whether or not to ask more about his life. After all, you had heard stories about Thomas Shelby and his criminal empire. 

"Well, the booze doesn't export itself to New York now, does it?"  you replied, a small smirk playing on your lips.

Thomas chuckled at your response, finding amusement in your wit. He appreciated a challenge - it was something he hadn't encountered in a while. Grace had always been so timid around him, obedient almost. But you, on the other hand, didn't cower in the face of his daunting presence.

"So you know what I do, eh?" Thomas agreed, swirling the whiskey in his glass. "Did Grace tell you?" Thomas questioned, a slight glint in his eyes as he studied you intently. His gaze was unwavering, and you couldn't help but feel a sense of discomfort at his scrutiny. However, you refused to let him intimidate you, meeting his gaze head-on.

"Oh god no. My stepmother would not discuss matters like this, not with me anyway. She very much dislikes me," you told Tommy as he lid himself a cigarette, his gaze never wavering. "But I know more about my family's business interests than one might think," you admitted, reluctant to speak ill of Grace.

Tommy's lips quirked upwards before he exhaled a cloud of smoke. "That doesn't surprise me, Love. A little birdie has told me that you had some run ins with the law recently, which is why you are here now, in fucking Birmingham of all places,"  Thomas said, his tone laced with an underlying hint of mischief.

He leaned back against the leather armchair, his eyes never leaving yours as he took a long drag from his cigarette.

"Well, it's safe to say that I had made some mistakes in the past," you admitted, holding his gaze firmly. "But I had my reasons for doing what I did," you explained, and  Thomas chuckled at your response, finding your confidence endearing. He had always admired a strong-willed woman - and you were undoubtedly that.

"We all have our reasons, Love,"  Tommy agreed, his tone softening.

You took another sip of your whiskey, the fire in your throat becoming increasingly comforting, and you let out a sigh. The truth was that you had always been impulsive, driven by emotion rather than reason.

You took a moment to gather your thoughts before speaking. "I suppose you're right," you admitted, swirling the amber liquid around your glass before raising from your seat.

"It's getting late and I should probably get some sleep," you said before thanking Tommy for the drink.

Your gaze lingered on him for a moment, studying his features as he did the same with you. There was a spark of curiosity between the two of you, but you quickly tried to push your intrusive thoughts away. 

"Good night, Y/N,"  Thomas murmured, his gaze dropping to your lips for a fleeting moment before you turned around and walked towards the door, hiding your body's reaction to his intense gaze.

"Goodnight," you replied softly, taking one last look at the library before stepping out and closing the door behind you.

You couldn't shake off the feeling of uneasiness that clung to you like a second skin. You shook your head slightly as if to clear the thoughts away, telling yourself that you were only imagining things.

But the way he had looked at you, the slight hint of something deeply sensual in his gaze, lingered and left you with a curious sensation.

You made your way to your guest room, undressing slowly before slipping between the smooth sheets. Emma was already fast asleep, her gentle snores barely audible as you switched off the bedside lamp. The room plunged into darkness, leaving only the faintest gleam of moonlight to cut through the curtains and cast thin stripes of silver upon the walls.

You stared up at the ceiling, the alcohol swimming lazily in your veins and causing your thoughts to swirl with unclear notions.

As much as you tried to fight against the growing allure, Thomas Shelby had intrigued you. There was no denying it. He possessed an air of mystery and darkness that called out to that impulsive part of you like a siren's song which was a part of you which you knew you had to suppress. 

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[katerinaaqu]

Kinda a prequel to

Originally for @prompted-wordsmith so yeah something I have been working for ages. April 1st for our poor tormented little liar Odysseus 😆

~~~

Guilt (P1)

The noise was deafening. It was a sea of people cheering and whistling; a sea dressed in bronze, leather and blood. Odysseus was pacing among these people keeping his head low. He was trying very hard to avoid gazing someone in the eye. He could hear their praise and yelps of excitement. On occasion he could feel a pat on his back.

"Huzzah! Hooray for Odysseus!"

"Man of Many Ways!"

"The one Equal to Gods! Hooray!"

"Sacker of Cities!"

"Sacker of Cities!"

His ears were buzzing. All sounds around him were silenced or blended together in a mass of unknown origins. His head was throbbing painfully and the helmet adorned with boar tusks seemed to be weighting more than all metal in the world upon it. Just a little longer...just a bit further... Blood had become one with his skin and hair. He could feel it running down still even if it was long now clotted upon him. How weird! Normally every person would be delighted with this triumph. Why couldn't he?

"Sacker of Cities!"

Just a bit further...

"Sacker of Cities!"

His previous noble prancing became a half-run now. He was almost pushing his way through the mixed people of triumph and of woe. Eventually he reached his hut and felt like breathing in relief as he ran in with his close friend coming right behind him.

"Close the damn curtains, Polites!" Odysseus ordered

He half-collapsed over the bronze bowl containing fresh water they had picked up off the river. He remained there for a few seconds, supporting his body over the metallic water container. He looked down. What he saw scared him; it was a warrior staring back at him through the dark depths of the vessel. His head was adorned with a helmet of boar tusk, stained with blood and scratched by some sword. His expression was hard and had sunken eyes in their sockets. The beard was shaggy and splattered with blood. His onyx eyes had a worrying sheen of death, of triumph and of guilt...

"Gods help me...that's me!" He thought in terror

The ambitious, flamboyant and somehow a bit arrogant young man was long gone. He had given his place to this bloodthirsty killer, the face of that man was reeking of sweat, blood and tar from weapons and smoke; the Sacker of Cities. How had they come to this?!

*

A few days before...

The room was buzzing by the men talking almost at the same time. All the Greek kings were supposed to discuss their plan on their next move but it ended up being a buzzing hive of angry bees that fought for a better place in the sun. Neoptolemus was still thirsty for revenge for hi ls father, wearing his armor proudly. The kid seemed to be one with the damn thing! Odysseus was still cursing the moment he decided to bring him from Skyros. This boy seemed less and less like a good idea for his expedition. Agamemnon was there for the glory of his nation, Menelaus wanted his wife back, this time time from a new suitor that took her as a wife, after the murder of Paris. Nestor was trying to keep them all in check, Diomedes still held a grudge against Paris even long after the mutilation of his corpse. Odysseus thought his head would split by this cacophony of tired and frustrated kings that each one of them wanted something different!

"ENOUGH!" Odysseus bellowed

The silence that followed was deafening as the king of Ithaca practically pranced through the crowded hall and grabbed the bronze scepter, pushing it to the ground.

"EVERYONE KEEP QUIET AND LET ME SPEAK!"

His voice had echoed long enough for everyone to understand that there was no stopping this man now. Odysseus took some raspy breaths as if he tried to collect himself before speaking.

"How much longer must this go on? How much longer should we keep this siege? Can't you see it? It's been a decade already! Troy won't fall! Trojans get new allies and we grow weaker by the year. Year after year after year after year we held this city and for what? How much longer will we stay here? Another 10 years? 20? I do not know about you, my lords, but I refuse to stay here that long! My wife and child waited way too long!"

"Do not wish to be king among kings, son of Laërtes!" A voice was heard over others, "you are not the only one with home and family to return to!"

"My lords, I can speak of no one else but myself. However I believe you shall agree with me that this siege lasted way too long. I have no doubt that there are many people; younger people in this council that can withhold this for the decades to come, but I have long stopped being young, my lords, and I do not intend going back to my home when I reach the age of Nestor and pass the crown to my adult son to retire. There are other kingdoms that require our attention, my lords! Not just this one, but our own!"

A series of hums passed around but Odysseus could feel it already there were some objections or some hesitations. They obviously didn't know what he was talking about.

"The war won't last much longer, Odysseus" Agamemnon the son of Atreus spoke, "we have already cut the tree of succession to the Trojan throne. Both Paris and Hector are dead, you managed to capture Helenos. Troy is losing already. I highly doubt we will stay here much longer"

"With all due the respect" Odysseus interrupted, "as long as there is the line of Priam Troy is not finished. Helen has now joined in matrimony with a new husband. Undoubtedly the widow of Hector will do the same when her period of mourning is done. And line or no line, the walls are still there, my lord, they are mocking us. We cannot break them from the outside"

"Odysseus..." Menelaus now spoke, the man who still believed in him blindly, "What else is to be done? We are not gods to transform ourselves to birds and get in"

Odysseus's eyes sparkled in a determined way as if he managed to hypnotize everyone in the room with just his fiery gaze, his voice sounded clearer than ever.

"I could take Troy in one night if the plan works!"

The seer audacity of his words was greeted with a silent shock and then a wave of chuckle.

"I believe you lost your mind FOR REAL this time, Odysseus son of Laërtes!" Neoptolemus called out arrogantly

Odysseus shot him with a warning glare. He had no idea how that insolent boy had heard about his attempt to avoid that war in the first place pretending to be mad but that was not the time for quarrel.

"I am pretty sure that the black ships of the Acheans rest in this place over a decade for nothing! We could obviously have asked you! I am sure you can also guide us inside the city yourself!"

"I have already infiltrated Troy!" Odysseus claimed.

The wave of exclamations that passed among the kings of the Greeks was delightful as it was annoying to Odysseus!

"We were protected by the gods, Diomedes and I. We disguised ourselves as beggars and walked about the city, I found their secrets, I know the passages! I plundered their temple according to the prophecy!"

With a determined move he threw the palladium of Athena to their feet; proof to his words. The silence he earned was delightful.

"I have a plan...if you choose to accept it!"

"That is not fighting with HONOR!" Agamemnon pointed out, "We do not do that Odysseus!"

"We fought with honor, Agamemnon...10 years now! And where did it lead us? We are still here; debating whether we shall live and die to the foot of Troy when the price is right there before us! If you want results, hear me out!"

As his onyx eyes stared deeply into his audience, he knew he had them now.

"I shall uproot the line of Priam from the city! We can throw them all out of the castle walls of the holy city of Troy! So, my lords, long-haired Acheans, if you want results, hear me out!"

Their silence was his confirmation.

"Here's the plan, then..."

*

Odysseus growled and snapped out of his flashback. How easy had he made that sound at that time! Even in his own ears such a promise wouldn't appear nearly as horrendous as it was proven to be! He felt a drop of sweat rolling down his chin but it was thicker. He could still feel blood... He grunted in annoyance as he removed that helmet that was crushing his head and sank his hands in the water, brushing them intensely. The water took a reddish sheen almost immediately. Blood was sticking way too much... Odysseus splashed water all over his face maniacally, even passing water over his matted with blood head. It was still there...the memory was still there... he felt dizzy almost. He rushed to the wine jar resting at the side. He broke the wax seal and filled a cup for himself without watering it first. He downed it quickly before having the chance to feel the burning sensation down his throat.

"Odysseus..." Polites started, alarmed

Odysseus didn't hear him. He filled a second cup that was gone the same quickly. He was still shaking.

"Blood..." he whispered, "Blood and death everywhere... plunders and rapes...everywhere..."

He clenched the cup in his hand.

"What have we done, Polites! What have we done?"

"What have I done?!"

"Sire..." Polites began, "this is war..."

A dry laughter escaped Odysseus's lips.

"That was no war, my friend...that was a massacre...a slaughter..."

He drained yet another cup. He was feeling dizzy and he wasn't sure it was the red wine at fault.

"Priam is dead..." he whispered as if in delirium, "...killed upon the altar of Zeus where he sought sanctuary... Cassandra raped right outside the sanctuary at the xoano of Athena...and Astyanax...the child is..."

His voice broke. He covered his face with his free hand as if that could stop the sobbing that was coming out of his thick chest.

"We're cursed, Polites..." he whispered, "Cursed...doomed! The gods won't turn the blind eye in this hubris..." he finished the cup he was holding

"Odysseus...please!" Polites exclaimed concerned, "Even so...what you say is right but still...it was war..."

"I gave them the key to this, Polites..." Odysseus ignored him, "it was MY plan that put them in..."

"Please, Odysseus...you...you didn't know..."

Odysseus chuckled. It was a dry, humorless one...

"Yes I did, my friend...I did...I just chose to ignore it..."

He refilled his cup.

"Odysseus I beg of you at least...at least put some water to your wine...don't do this..."

He placed his hand upon Odysseus's large shoulder.

"And no, that was what you feared...not what you knew. There was no way you would know the magnitude of it...you gave them the city just like you promised. What they did with it it was their responsibility."

If only it were that simple, Odysseus thought.

~~

Soon comes part 2. It will be probably 3 parts plus a footnote section!

[somethingsomethingimmakingapoint]

The Tearsmith (Long Post)

Okay so, like I just recently watched this movie and then bought a digital copy of the book and read it and I just wanted to post a review because I've been seeing a lot of mixed opinions.

I want to start by saying that, arguably it's not that bad. Lets be real, okay, yes, it does have a wattpad quality to it BUT strip it down to it's core for a quick second and look past the "twilight" vibe and actually focus on the key points.

One of the things I've seen is that Nica doesn't have any depth to her, which just isn't true, at least in the book.

Nica has a personality, ya'll!!! It isn't quite portrayed as deep in the movie but she is three dimensional, I promise!! Nica comes across a bit naive and with her head in the clouds but THAT'S the point. She lost her parents at a young age and grew up in an abusive and toxic situation where she was constantly told to be a "good" girl, nothing else. Now imagine if you were in that scenario? Where you're being raised among other children who have had no chance to grow or flourish? Who have their passions or joys ripped away as a form of punishment. I think personally that would stunt anyones personality. The only thing Nica can hold onto, the only thing that couldn't be taken away was her tenderness, which is often times shown through her love for animals. If you've ventured to read the book, it definitely explores that side of her much more. Hence why she wears band-aids around her fingers, from helping wounded animals. In the movie when Norman asks her if she's hurt Margaret says that she tends to hurt animals. In the book she later because a veterinarian because of her love for animals!

Now that I've said that, lets get into Rigel. I have found that a lot of people don't really care for his character and while I can understand to an extent, I quite throughly enjoyed it. Rigel isn't a good person, but he isn't a bad one either. I think people aren't analysing things in depth because when you look past Rigel's broody and harsh exterior you can actually see who he is as a person.

Let's start with the bleeding obvious, his abandonment issues. It doesn't go into the nitty gritty in the movie because timeline wise, they wouldn't have been able to fit everything in, but, there's a memory from Rigel's point of view of when he was a child, a doctor talks about his abandonment issues to Margaret who is vehemently denying them, saying that he was only a baby and couldn't possibly remember being abandoned, yet the doctor tells her that children are quite capable of understanding when they get older. The doctor continues to say that children that young can feel the lack and tend to blame themselves and make it so they feel responsible for it. And that's taken directly from the book.

Rigel is a broken child, he says that he's been disaster from birth multiple times. He thinks that because of his condition that's why his parents left him at Grave. While it is assumed that most of the children there are left orphaned from guardians deaths, Rigel is the only kid who was left behind, no note, no birth certificate. Nothing, he doesn't exist and I don't think knowing that helps how he views himself. Rigel believes he's a wolf, something dangerous and monstrous and it didn't make things better that other kids were scared or hateful of him. In the book, it explains that kids were scared of him because he had outbursts, scratching at his eyes or pulling and digging at the dirt and grass. These are all side effects from his condition, which I really do wish they had included that he got hallucinations whenever he got headaches and stuff because that made up a huge part of his character in the book. He used to see Nica with wings, like she was an angel.

I also think that they portrayed Rigel more angsty then what he was in the book. Sure, he had this cynical part of him but often times was described as being sarcastic and could be seen as snarky at times. Which I feel wasn't shown as well through the movie. I think the two times I can remember was when Lionel was introducing himself to Nica and just as he goes to say his name, Rigel interrupts and says bothersome. And the other time was when Nica asked him if he gave her the rose and he says, "Me? Give you a rose?". I think netflix really leaned heavy on the mysterious dark teen look instead of the "I'm gonna be snarky and sarcastic as a way of pushing boundaries." Because sexy and enigmatic sells more, not trauma.

His trauma from Margaret forms exactly who he shows on the outside. She for all intents and purposes raised him as her own and Rigel hated that. I mean, Nica even says that whenever he plays the piano Margaret is all he thinks of and she wants to erase that. That's how so deeply intwined this woman is with Rigel. He was her pride and joy and consequently ignored everything that was wrong with him, leaving Rigel a husk someone who could never move on from his issues. She ruined that boy, she ruined him to forever keep him close.

Now that I've deconstructed Nica and Rigel's characters a little, lets talk about the most obvious "issue" I've seen going around. Ladies and gentlemen, yes, I'm going to crack open the incest nut.

It's not incest. Please let me be clear when I say, what goes on between Nica and Rigel, isn't in anyway a form of incest! Throughout the entire movie, everyone refers to Rigel as Nica's brother but she denies it. The only time she says it, is at the start with Anna and Norman but I can explain that. Nica says they were like siblings at Sunnycreek, but we as viewers knows that wasn't the truth. In the book, it goes into further detail about how much Rigel bullied her. Pulling ribbon out of her hair, tugging at her clothes etcetera. While it isn't the greatest bit of evidence, I can firmly say that that's what little kids do when they don't know how to interact with the person they like. I was always told that a boy bullying me meant he liked me, which while it is shitty and not a good enough reason to do it, it is a thing. Boys really just don't know how to talk to girls, honestly.

So, while Nica tells Anna and Norman they're like siblings, it's a blatant lie to get the Milligan's to like Nica. She doesn't want to cause waves with the potential new parents, so she says that her and Rigel are like brother and sister to appease their idea of family. What else would she say? Actually, we don't like each other and never really have? Of course not! Nica needs Anna and Norman to love her, needs them to get her fairytale ending because like she says in the book, no one comes for teenagers, they were the metaphorical old dog in the pound that gets bypassed when adults saw the puppy who is trainable and cute.

In conclusion,

Nica never intended to fall for Rigel, all she wanted was a family but by chance she does. I think that while Rigel always knew she was the only attachment he had ever experienced, he couldn't have her because he knew what she wanted from life and he didn't fit into that fairytale, not with him being the wolf that he so badly thought he was. However, we get the scene when Rigel comes back from his fight with Lionel and we finally, finally see his walls come down, in his sickness he can't lie, can't have an icy exterior to the only person who had shown him honest kindness, tenderness. Because even though he hurt Lionel, Nica still helped him, took him upstairs, stripped him of soaking wet clothes and got him medicine to help with his fever. He begs her to stay because for the first time, he doesn't have to be strong, doesn't have to be brave. Nica has him, tends to him with no ulterior motive, just tenderness and the need to make sure he would be okay.

He's shown for the first time, things aren't black and white and aren't transactional like with Margaret. In the book there isn't so much physical touching, because it's a tender moment. Just two kids who survived different sides of abuse, finally free just to be alive. I do think that the physical touching added something, I didn't mind it because I saw it more so as a need to feel something solid beneath fragile skin. It was desperate, fuelled by Rigel's need to erase Margaret's touches, which we see when he has the flashback to her kissing his cheek and him immediately wiping it away when she's gone. He's touching Nica, the light that never seems to dim, a person who hasn't judged him, just wanted to know why he did what he did. She's the good he so desperately wants to have but ultimately can never obtain.

Take away the steamy erotic grabbing and kissing and want. Look at these teenagers, really look at them. It's not a dark romantic story, it's about the trauma that bonds these two together, how no one can understand what they've been through, not really. It's about a fairytale that doesn't end in "ever after" it's about reality, about how change can happen, even if it seems impossible. It's about hardship that turns these two characters into who they are, how they react to certain situations, how they behave around others who've never experienced trauma.

Rigel and Nica are proof of life after soul breaking childhoods. They aren't perfect and Rigel never does make amends with his issues because in reality no one ever does, but he finally has a chance to grow, to let those bad parts of his life fade and that can only be done with Nica, because she has to let those bad parts of her life fade too.

They end up staying together, creating their own family. One that will never be tarnished, never torn apart or abandoned. Nica get's the chance at her family and Rigel learns to accept that not every person is going to make you believe you're unlovable.

[kimaratomoya]

I know I don't follow you but like- Maybe an Analysis on Oscar? Idk he's just one of my favorite characters =]

Out of Stock deep dive for @namedoggo (still finding it super awesome that a fellow Faz Frights fanfiction writer who I love is asking me for analysis!!!) because they asked for Isaac and Raj too at a later date!!

THIS WAS DONE WITH THE ACTUAL BOOK!!! NOT THE GRAPHIC NOVEL!!! I AM USING THE ORIGINAL INFORMATION!!!

Also I'm so sorry for the delay my motivation suddenly spiked so here ya go!!!

Oscar Avila:

Our main protagonist of the story!

Basic info:

- Pretty broke family

- Lost his dad at a young age to an infection

- Helps his mom at the Royal Oaks Nursing Home

- Likes Freddy's

- Has the nickname "Little Man"

- Loves his mom

- Wrong thing right reason

- Decent sense of fairness/justice

- Really good friends - Honestly like they are super cool and he does recognise it a few times

He seems like a good enough kid, with some wonky morals, but a good heart. He genuinely does love his friends, even if it's hard to see. He loves his mom too, and tried to be there for her, but he also needs a childhood. He's trying his best and the book seems to be his breaking point. Oscar is one of those characters you feel bad for, and can sympathize with, but still kinda looks at and be like "bro??? What the fuck???"

A bit more in depth:

- Feels like his childhood was stolen

- Often says he has "almost" of stuff he wants/strived for

- Has a decent relationship with Mr. Devereaux

He's just a little guy with a lot of issues. He often overlooks that his friends are really good and they aren't an "almost". He says almost for a lot of things, and lists about the baseball and getting a phone, etc. He's still a good kid, just a bit misguided, especially with his father's death and how he feels like he lost his childhood to help his mom and be the "man of he house". Mr. Devereaux seems like the "wise sage" (looney) of the story, but he's trying his best and Oscar doesn't appreciate him, but I feel like a lot of people wouldn't, but he still seems to like being around him for a bit. He just wants something for himself because he seems to believe that everything is just out of his reach.

Raj:

- Good guy

- Weird mom

- Honestly kinda chill

- Blunt and direct (Very Cool)

- Seems like the reasonable one

Honestly he doesn't get too much development, but it's clear he's the a chill guy. Seems like the smart/reasonable one of the group. Does have a very weird mom though and I do want to mention that because wtf is she on?? Her punishment for the sister is insane.

Isaac:

- Has a brother

- Tbh seems like a good guy

- Again there's not a lot on him

- A tad bit dumb compared to the others

- Easier to get a bit spooked

Ok so I don't like Isaac as much as Raj, more because he seems a bit dense, but he's still a good friend. He risks it for his buddy and, while not quite registering when Oscar gets electrocuted, seems like he does love his friends.

Overall:

They are great friends and it's good to see such a good bond in the FNaF books. They are honestly great people, of not a bit young and misguided, but they tried their darndest. They also are one of the few books with all main characters surviving so congrats.

I do however have to point out that they are sophomores, which is around 15-16, and I have noticed a LOT of ship content for a pair, or all three of them. I understand that they are a few of the most known characters, mostly from people not reading the full series, but please refrain from shipping minors, at least when interacting with this post, as they are not a canon ship.

I try to keep all my AU stuff out of the way so this is all based on actual plot points from the book.

[EDITTED BECAUSE I COULDN'T FIND THE AGE AND NOW HAVE IT, THANKS NAMEDOGGO!!]

[inu-yasha]

Kikyou is full of love and kindness

Kikyou is a very tragic character. Her character is so complex that it is difficult to understand her, but she can be understood if will look at it differently to. Her character is tragic, deep and beautiful. I think Kikyou is the best written character of Rumiko out of all the Kikyou versions. Kikyou suffered more injustice from Inuyasha's old team from the 2000s. Her personality was completely erased. Her warm and soft side seems to have disappeared, her scenes with Inuyasha are erased or drastically changed, where Kikyou is shown as a truly unpleasant person. In a newer fan version from another artist, she is insulted and written that she is just an "ex girlfriend" This woman didn't deserve this. Kikyou faces injustice from every possible angle.

This post has been in the making for over 2 years. I've been thinking about writing this post for a really long time like you see, but I always put it aside. Now I can finally do it. This post is an analysis of her character. I know that there have been many 'analyses', but this analysis is different and shows a different side. I want to show that Kikyou is not a 'cold bitch'

The most common accusation against Kikyou and questioning her love is that she "asked Inuyasha to turn into a human. and higurashi accepts him who he's and truly love him"

I answered this question here, so can see it, but I wanted to add something because Kikyou and higurashi are often compared ,She and higurashi come from different backgrounds and times.

They both have different upbringings and both have different and mentality. higurashi is free and can do whatever she wants, no one limits her, she has many friends and she is free to love and hate,and all emotions. No one limits her, no one expects anything from her, she had no care or people's lives in front of her, she didn't have to hide or control her emotions. She wasn't lonely. She could always talk about her problems with her friends, she didn't have a father, but she had a mother who took care of her and her brother, so she didn't have to bear the burden of raising a brother, she didn't have to bear the burden of being alone. Kikyou she wasn't a free human.

Nothing is known about Kikyou and her past, but what can be sure be said, that Kikyou had to mature at a very young age because she had to take care of her younger sister. Kikyou became her parent and sister and she was also under the care of village and people for whom she was a 'great priestess and power', she was responsible for people's lives. Here I will support the anime, it has canonical scenes from the manga, so…. Kikyou and Kaede before shikon no tama traveled together and studied and I think that was Kikyou's only freedom, her feelings and loneliness were less. Everything changed when she got shikon no tama. Kikyou had to face demon attacks wherever she was and save the village and people, her duties became more burdensome. She couldn't show weakness or any other feeling. Kikyou wasn't free to love or hate. She was supposed to be a mass without feelings. She had to suppress all her feelings. She only had a sister and no friends. She couldn't talk to anyone about her worries and concerns, the burden she had to carry. She couldn't kill Inuyasha because she knew how he felt, I understand because she felt the same way. Inuyasha came into her life and was the first and only person Kikyou opened up to.

I will repeat it, her speech came from the depths of her suffering, wounded, lonely soul and heart. She told the truth. She didn't feel human, even though she was human. She felt that she didn't belong anywhere, all she had to do was take care of the former village and kill demons every day, without any feelings, as if she didn't feel anything. She was human, but she didn't feel like anything. She didn't know where she belonged. Literally like Inuyasha, that's why she could understand him so well. Inuyasha saw this sadness, her eyes, her smile, everything was sad, but I have the impression that if she could, she would cry. But all he has to do is suppress everything. Inuyasha was also despised by humans and demons because he did not belong to any worlds, he was a mixed race despised by both worlds. Kikyou understood this and Inuyasha's feelings perfectly.

Kikyou loved him as a half-demon and had nothing against it, but seeing how people reacted and that when he had a gem nearby and had to keep an eye on it, and he wanted to lead a normal and peaceful life with Inuyasha, the jawel had to disappear. She just wanted a quiet life with her sister and the person she loves. Nothing more. She only asked him, she didn't force it on him. He made the decision himself out of love for her. He wanted to do it for her and live happily with her. This also shows how much Inuyasha loves her too. Kikyou and Inuyasha knew that people looked down on the relationship between a demon and a human. Inuyasha's parents are a good example and they could live together peacefully the jewel must disappear. Kikyou simply thought that if the gem was used with good intentions, it would disappear. She will be free and will be able to live a peaceful life with Inuyasha and her sister.

it's easy to say "I accept you as you are" when you don't know how people look at people and demons, and you come from the free world, with free choice and you think that everything is so simple And your only problem is school and worrying because 'inuyasha went to Kikyou' and she can't have him just for herself. Kikyou bothered her so much because she took Inuyasha away from 'her' who wasn't hers, and she acted as if he only had to look at her. Of course, there is a moment where she understands Kikyou's feelings, but it's only momentary because later she has a problem again that Inuyasha is with Kikyou and she can't stand it. Her understanding is shallow and a shallow approach. An egoist is kagome and egocentric, focused only on herself, her pain, her feelings, and her friends only confirm this.

Inuyasha and Kikyou thought they were betrayed on each other, but even though their anger was visible, they still loved each other. Kikyou, instead of killing him, used an arrow to put him to sleep. She wasn't able to kill him, and she could have done it, but she decided to put him to sleep and chose death because she didn't want to live without him. A love stronger than the anger and excruciating pain Kikyou felt. Kikyou died with a lot of anger owards Inuyasha, Inuyasha also felt betrayed and attacked the desperate higurashi thinking it was Kikyou and despite everything he didn't stop loving her. They both felt angry and hurt by the betrayal, and that's what they thought.

Kikyou came back to life, but did she ask for it? No.

Urasure,created Kikyou so that she could have a slave and use her power. She thought that Kikyou would be at her service. Kikyou has returned against her will and she is now anxious, angry and hurt!! Inuyasha literally says the same thing in chapter 1, only Inuyasha calmed down and understood that he loved Kikyou, even though he denied it.

When Kikyou attacked Inuyasha, Kikyou received another slap from fate. Well, her younger sister stood against her. This is truly disgusting behavior from Kaede

I don't really care at this point that she knew Inuyasha wasn't evil, but what she knew was that they both betrayed each other and even Kaede thought Inuyasha had inflicted that wound on her when Inuyasha denied it, she immediately believed him and tried to stop her sister, knowing that she had the right to be angry. At that moment, Kikyou felt betrayed once again, now by the person closest to her, who she's cared in the past. It's really painful when your sister opposes you and tell to person who thinks he betrayed you, killed you, deceived you to destroy her body Kikyou understands that she can't count on anyone even in her pain and anger. She stood up for a girl I barely know and Inuyasha. and once again she learns that there is no one but himself and her own pain, immediately after waking up. Her sister really made her understand..

It made even me angry, and I still feel disgusted by Kaede. She is an ungrateful brat, which she shows throughout the series. Kaede should apologize to her. Not Kikyou to her. from Kikyou's point of view, very hurtful.

Kikyou tries to kill him a second time. At this point it is known who is behind the betrayal. Inuyasha and Kagome knew about it, but Kikyou didn't yet. Kikyou wanted to go to hell and go with him so that they could be together. Inuyasha didn't mind.

This means that Kikyou and Inuyasha love each other so much that they can go to hell together, to be together. This is Love. They really love each other. Kikyou, knowing that she did not belong to the living or the dead, tried to live normally in the village as in life. It didn't work, but she tried.

This woman has been rejected from the world and people for the second time, and the only person who understands her and always runs to her is Inuyasha.

Kikyou finds out that it is Onigumo and her goal is to destroy it, which is natural. So he steals the jewel and gives it to Naraku. Not because she helps him, but because she wants to destroy him.

Her actions may not be understandable, but she is not selfish. She just took it upon herself to kill him. She wanted to do it herself because she doesn't know any other way, only Inuyasha was there for her and supported her, but Kikyou didn't really have time to learn how to rely on others, shared her pain and worries. She acts alone because she knows that she is alone and lonely and is ready to take the risk because the person who destroyed her life and Inuyasha is alive and doing great. She has always been lonely. She doesn't know any other life, only this time she doesn't have her treacherous sister with her. She travels, helps everyone and does everything to bring the murderer to death. this way Kikyou showed that she knows how to destroy Naraku when they couldn't destroy him for almost the entire series. Of course, higurashi finished what Kikyou didn't finish.

Kikyou was the only one who showed concern for Inuyasha's feelings, the only one who took his feelings into account and the only one who truly cared about him.

She knew his friends would be worried about him. Kikyou thanked him for being with her. Her care and gentleness and gratitude are with her. Kikyou is just happy that he could be close to her even for a moment, but she knew that he also had friends who would worry about him.

Kikyou was the only one who predicted naraku's movements like kagome's eyes. naraku wanted her eyes, what Kikyo had previously predicted and warned inuyasha and helped her and his team giving higurashi an arrow to help her.

Kikyou helped people and was not afraid to face the attack of her murderer and lose her life in this revenge. Kikyou helped Inuyasha's team, she did a lot more than Kagome, the only thing she can be thanked for is saving Kikyou's life, but she didn't even do it of her own free will, only for Inuyasha. Kikyou predicted Naraku's movements very well and carefully. Kikyou saved Kohaku's life, but also Miroku's by absorbing his curse, which means that Kikyou accepted Naraku's curse into her body, which was really dangerous for her.

Kikyou gave up her revenge for Kohaku saving his life. She chose his life over her revenge and only Kohaku truly loved and respected Kikyou apart from Inuyasha. She had someone with whom she shared the same pain again and he was the same as her. And really, Kikyou appreciated Kohaku and wanted him to live, and she managed to do so. Kikyou always saved others, but she could never save herself. The well-being of others was always the most important, especially people she loved like Inuyasha and Kohaku

Kikyou is the core of everything. It was her soul that wanted to meet Inuyasha, that's why Kagome met Inuyasha and stayed with him. If it weren't for Kikyou's soul, these two wouldn't have met. It was Kikyou who fought and predicted what Naraku would do at an early stage of the story, she knew how to get rid of him, even though she was neither dead nor alive, she helped everyone, always showing goodness and kindness. Her love for Inuyasha, despite the anger and pain she felt at the beginning, has always been there. She loves Inuyasha, always has and always will. Same with Inuyasha. Death could separate them, but despite everything, Inuyasha loved her with all his heart.

Kikyou is an extremely complex and tragic character. Full of pain and loneliness, full of kindness and love. She deserves more love than hate

[lady-byleth]

So I've been replaying Hades for the past couple of days and I've started thinking about the concept of half gods because of Achilles and I have realized that while tragic heroes fucked over by fate are great we also need to explore how fucking weird a half god would probably be to have around

Cuz like, gods are probably very very different to us humans and their blood would run fairly strong within their half mortal offspring and there's a lot of room to play around with how that manifests. Plus, we all know that the gods are very volatile and can go through the entire spectrum of emotions within like 10 seconds so that's fun too

Like, imagine you're Peleus, king of Phthia. Your son is two years old now, he looks like he's at least five. Yesterday he debated your advisors on politics and made them run from the room crying. Last week he wrote his second full length comedy. Afterwards he threw a tantrum cuz he couldn't reach the higher shelves in the library that probably traumatized the entire staff before he charmed them into fawning over him again. Thetis says this is normal.

You're Peleus, king of Phthia, and you adore your now ten year old son but you're also very out of your depth. You can't let him play with kids his age cuz human age works differently than his and they're just too young, but you also can't put him together with people on his intellectual level cuz you don't want to deal with the fallout of when someone inevitably annoys him too much. There's still a few broken chairs from last time lying around. That boy won't sit still for 10 seconds, the mortal world is too boring and slow for him. You're still trying to find the combat instructor he scared away two weeks ago. Thetis says this is also normal.

You're Peleus, king of Phthia, and your old Argonaut buddy Menoetius just showed up with his son, asking for help. Your own son is now twelve years old and definitely almost fully grown. Last week he reorganized the entire library out of boredom and then put it back to how it was again. No one wants to spar with him anymore, he's going to snap soon. But here's Menoetius with his son Patroclus who seems to have a good head on his shoulders, recent accident notwithstanding. You can't just take in someone wanted for murder without good reasons...but Achilles is going to claw his way through the walls at this rate. He refused being a suitor for Helen recently, lectured you on outdated marriage practices for two hours and then went to visit his mother for a month. You can't handle him, no matter how much you love him. But Patroclus gives off the impression that he could. You can work with this.

You're Peleus, king of Phthia, and your son is now sixteen and no longer growing. He's also found someone who can keep up with his energy with fond understanding and a calming hand where necessary. You're pretty proud of yourself for making Patroclus do this cuz it's not just anger, boredom and energy that Achilles has to divine levels. If you didn't know better you'd think Patroclus was the half god the way your son seems to worship the ground he walks on. He is a good influence on your son, one could almost be fooled into thinking he's just a normal human when they're together. You've never seen Achilles smile that much.

Maybe now Phthia will know some peace...

[pinkrose787]

I really want to go into the character motivations for each character in Chapter 5 of the Amnesia Branch AU. So I am going to go in depth. Characters are in no particular order. (Readmore, because this is so very long).

Poppy- Hers is the most obvious. Mostly, because we see the entire chapter through her POV. She wants to be there for Branch. More importantly, she wants to help Branch in ways that she couldn't the last time he was gray. Now, she has such a deeper understanding of why he is the way he is, and what he needs.

While she is doing her best to be there for Branch, she herself is struggling immensely. She's heartbroken that Branch doesn't remember their relationship. That he's closed off from her again.

She doesn't really let anyone know how much she's struggling. Sure, Viva and her closest friends saw that she was sad in Chapter 3, but they didn't see depths of her sadness. And she tries so hard to keep it together this entire chapter.

She pushes away every single negative thought and emotion that comes up. Forcing herself to be the happy and cheerful despite how she truly feels.

That is until the very end. Branch has broken up with her. Every single bit of sadness that Poppy had been holding back comes crashing down on her.

Branch's Brothers- As a base, all of them of in pure shock of what they just witnessed. Up to this point, they have only heard stories of what Branch used to be like. Seeing Branch gray for themselves was eye-opening.

Bruce- I think, because he is a father, he really carries a lot of guilt about Branch becoming depressed at such a young age and having to raise himself. He constantly has thoughts about how different Branch's life would have been if he came back in time.

And because of this guilt, he is terrified of ever hurting Branch ever again. So when Branch broke down after Bruce said the very wrong thing, it sent Bruce into a spiral of guilt. The guilt and terror combined caused him to believe that Branch is genuinely better off without any of them.

In his mind, Branch has Poppy and loads of friends to support him. People who haven't hurt Branch like they have. Who won't stir up tears as soon as he sees them. Who can help him far better than Bruce ever could.

Clay- Now, Clay did not talk that much in this chapter. Like Bruce, his guilt made him think that Branch doesn't need him. Though his guilt is a bit different than Bruce's. Unlike all the others, Clay stayed in the Troll Tree up until the time of the escape. The fact that he could have gone back anytime to check-up on Branch but didn't, haunts him.

While his "the Putt Putt trolls needed me" comment wasn't immediately addressed by Branch, it was what Branch was referring to when he shouted "I needed you!".

He wasn't as eager to leave as Bruce was. In fact, if Bruce hadn't said that he didn't think they should be there for Branch, I think he would have stayed or at least waited to say what he thought until later.

John Dory- The guilt manifests differently for John Dory. He has come to terms with it. In fact, he came to terms with a lot of it before the events of TBT. When he came back to the Troll Tree and saw it completely barren, he thought that all his brothers had died. The worst of it for him was Branch.

In his mind, Branch was still a baby, and when John Dory returned he still would have been a young child. While there was a chance that the others got out, which he learned when Bruce sent that postcard, he didn't have the same hopes for Branch.

His brothers were athletic teenagers. The odds of them surviving was high. But Branch was a little kid who lived alone with an old woman in a town of giants who want to eat them. They'd probably be first

And John Dory carried this guilt for years upon years. Until, he heard about what happened with the Rockapocalypse. He was so relieved to hear that Branch survived. But then more guilt set in.

Guilt that he didn't know. Branch is in his twenties now. He missed out on his baby brother's entire life. In his mind, Branch clearly turned out fine without him if he stopped the literal apocalypse, and he didn't want to ruin that for him.

It wasn't until he had to save Floyd, that he decided to initiate any sort of contact.

He genuinely enjoyed having Branch around again. But for most of the movie, he still believed that Branch is far better off without him. That all the brothers being apart was better.

It wasn't until the fight in Rhonda that he realized he might be wrong. That was the first time he truly saw how much leaving had hurt Branch, and how his life might not have been as great as he thought it was.

He doesn't want to hurt Branch like that ever again. After the whole reunion leaving didn't even cross his mind as an option. He's going to be there for Branch whether Branch wants him to or not.

Floyd- Similar to John Dory, Floyd did come eventually come back. Seeing the dead Troll Tree was completely devastating to him. He went gray over it.

The memory of him promising Branch that he would be back kept replaying over and over in his mind. He agonized over and over again about how he failed to keep his promise. He never came back. Branch died waiting for him.

Unlike John Dory, he didn't hear about how Branch was still alive nor did he know if any of his other brothers were alive either. It wasn't until John Dory came to save him that had any hope of Branch still being alive.

And the joy and relief he felt when he finally saw Branch was unlike anything else. In that brief moment, he swore that if he survived that he was never going to leave Branch again. This time he intends to keep that promise.

Branch- The reunion with his brothers severely messed him up. It really reignited his abandonment issues. He truly believed that they wouldn't stay. That they'd leave him again, so him pushing them away was to spare himself the heartbreak of getting close to them again just for them to leave.

Hearing from Poppy that Bruce and Clay left, though devastating, wasn't surprising. He really didn't have any faith that they would stay. Though he is surprised that both John Dory and Floyd didn't immediately leave, he's still convinced that they will soon. It will just take a little longer for them to go.

And it's been touched on in earlier chapters, but he does believe that Poppy is going to leave him too. That any moment she's going to decide that she's done with him and leave.

The worst part is that he believes that he deserves it. In his perspective, he's been dating Poppy for about 2 days. And during those two days, he's seen her act in a way that she never has before. Mostly, he's never seen her sad, and he's never heard her scream in anger like she did in the hallway.

He thinks that cutting off his relationship with her will end her pain. Which is so very incredibly wrong, but he's unable to see that.

[dracocheesecake]

Beside The Lake

Summary: Daiyu Long tells Kai a story. What is hidden within, however, is lost on him.

"My family has a story about how we got our name," Daiyu said.

It had been sudden and arbitrary. Kai glanced at her from the corner of his eye. He had a stick in hand, and was using it to poke at the algae that was growing on the surface of the lake with the typical thoughtless violence of a child.

"Hm?" Both a curious grunt and sanction to continue.

Daiyu looked down and stirred the water with her tail.

"Once," she began, "long ago, there was a deep, dark pool. Inside the pool lived a dragon with scales as dark as the depths she swam in, and she was as ancient as those waters, for she was immortal. For years she hid herself from all other eyes- except for two.

For everyday, in the early light of dawn, a young water monitor would come to swim in her pool. He was fast and graceful in the water- almost as much as she. She liked to watch him, looking up at the glittering surface from the depths as his lithe form seemed to dance sinuously through beams of sunlight. Everyday, without fail, he would come, and everyday, she would watch him, floating closer and closer- but never close enough to reveal herself.

But one day, he saw her. She knew it, and yet instead of diving down into the darkest fathomless depths to escape his gaze, she swam to him. They swam together from that point onward, and never again was the pool a lonely place.

Years passed. The dragoness stayed always and forever the same. The lizard did not. If you know how age touches any mortal, you will know how it began to touch him.

The dragoness knew that soon he would go the way to the other realm, as so many before and after him had and would. But he had touched her heart and soul as no other had before; she could not live out her endless existence without him in it, he who had made it worthwhile.

And so she shed her immortality, and for him became a mortal water monitor, living out the rest of their shared life together- and it was a very long and happy one, as their children and grandchildren and great-grandchildren can all attest. That is why we are known as the Longs.”

Daiyu's voice faded. Silence echoed over the still lake. Kai broke it by snorting.

"Wow. She was stupid," Kai said.

Again, there was that echoing silence, this time veiled by Daiyu’s simmering disappointment. Her tongue flickered in and out.

“...She did it because she loved him,” she said, for now keeping her tone calm and even, as always.

Kai nodded. He stirred the waters below them with the stick, creating a small slimy whirlpool and sending it over to gently entangle the end of her tail.

“Yeah, I got that part,” Kai said, “and it was stupid, to trade her immortality. Now she’s dead, too.”

Daiyu clenched her jaw. Her claws started tapping against the wooden dock beneath them. “Yes,” she agreed, “but only because she realized that a life without love in it, even an endless one, wasn’t worth living. The point of the story-”

“I know the point of the story, and it was stupid. You don’t need to explain it to me,” Kai said, his tone taking on a slight edge in his budding irritation. He looked back over the lake, tapping the stick he held on his knee.

"I guess I couldn't expect you to understand," Daiyu said. There was bitterness in her tone she didn't try to hide.

Kai turned and looked into her eyes. His were as cold as the water, and hard as ice.

"No," he said, "I understand better than anyone what that is. That's how I know."

His words were raw and his voice dark. It froze her silent. That hard gaze held her, and in that hold came the realization. He had been hurt by something similar but wrong, centuries ago, and even endless age had never healed the wounds. The understanding, silently reached, kept them as statues. They stared at each other for a long moment, until Kai broke away.

But before he had turned his head to resume his scry of the lake, she had noticed something- shining, wet glimmers in the corners of his eyes. He sniffed, once.

"...Anyway, I hope we're both smarter than that, now."

Daiyu didn't respond. She knew she wasn't, but she wouldn't argue with him, knowing already what he would say.

[bozepomagaj]

i was 15 when i watched made in abyss as well, finished the 1st season and promptly never touched it again because of what i learned about the author. From what ive seen from koreans they say that the version shown on korean tv is censored (which sounds plausible) which could mean that the weird parts that we skip may be cut out entirely(?dont quote me on that idk) soobin is on thin ice cause the 2nd season is worse and taeyong is in deep shit because i dont think there is any reason why someone should own the manga😟

I'mma preface this by saying I completely get everyone who couldn't stomach this series. It contains a lot of disturbing topics and at the end of the day, it's a horror series, of course not everyone is gonna be able to handle that, and again that's fine. But I can also say that this arc was surprisingly handled with a lot of care, wasn't fetishized nor glorified just... disturbing. Think of Outlast 2 or the ending of Amnesia:Rebirth.

TLDR:

Second season is way more disturbing but not as sexual in nature and Soobin most likely was talking about the fight scenes when saying how cool it was. And if he wasn't then who knows what he was yapping about, don't know him personally so I can't put words into his mouth unless he says something. As for Taeyong, can't defend him at ALL but calling him a p3d0 would still be a bit too much for me.

AND I wanna add after further investigation, Mingi said he didn't even watch it and instead dropped it because it was too much for him, so there's that.

For a more in depth explanation, here you go:

I'm gonna have to explain the lore in order for you all to understand this FULLY, so heres a summary:

The arc introduces us to Vueko, a victim of trafficking who was thrown into the Abyss with the rest of the now villagers because she wasn't deemed as someone useful. So obviously, when she meets Irumyuui, who has been exiled from her village for not being able to give birth at the age of 8, she immediately takes her in. As a victim, she understands her, and the author explains how, through helping Irumyuui, Vueko is able to heal her own trauma and heal Irumyuui as well. It's extremely well written, and as a fellow victim, there was something so sweet about seeing someone heal with the help of another. Especially when that someone acted like a mother figure. But of course, this is the Abyss. The point of the Abyss is that despite you thinking there's some light at the end of the tunnel, there isn't. Wazukyan takes that away, and Irumyuuis wish backfires (think of it like the wishes in Madoka, you get what you want but at a cost), and she gets turned into a horrible monster. But despite everything, she's happy because to her, she's fulfilled her purpose.

This is the part that I could discuss for hours because to me, it was commentary on how young girls even nowadayas are convinced by others that 'they have to find a man one day' and how having no kids is looked down upon. Especially in 3rd world countries. I could write an entire essay, but we're not here to do that.

I can tell you immediately that none of this was fetishized nor glorified in an yway, it's just supposed to make you feel absolutely empty because again, author is really trying to push that "oh you think you got the good end of the stick? Think again!" The manga if FILLED with situations like this, from Rico's origins to Nanachis arc, the subplot of this entire manga is 'how far are you willing to go to survive?'. Think of it like Fire Punch. Disturbing? Yeah, I mean, even I had to drop it once they began talking about trafficking women. Once again, I am comparing it to Madoka Magica but far more gruesome. Nothing explicit was shown, Irumyuui's private parts were never exposed, and her giving birth was also never shown. Her transformation WAS shown, but it's your basic body horror, like in most Junji Ito works.

SO, obviously if you're not a fan of the horror/seinen genre this is deeply disturbing and fucked but after seeing games like Outlast 2 and Amnesia: Rebirth, I wasn't as disturbed PERSONALLY. Again, recommending this publicly might've not been the smartest idea because you really do have to be into the horror genre to be able to handle topics like that. Even I just had to sit in silence for a couple hours after reading that backstory cuz damn, it hits you right in the feels. And most of the manga past that part just has badass fight scenes and when people praise it, they usually talk about that. From what I saw it was well animated and lots of clips were shared on tiktok, twitter etc. So there's a big chance he was talking about that.

(Examples of why people were hyping it up, even non-fans who had no idea about the series were going crazy because of this fight scene)

Now as for Taeyong... see now the reason I didn't mention him in the original post is because of that specific thing. I love the series and have come across physical copies of the manga but I know damn well I'm not buying cuz I don't wanna be seen supporting the author, purely out of spite. And saying 'oh well maybe he didn't know what the author is like'. Unlike some sites, physical copies DO include the extra chapters which contain stuff like this:

Totally unnecessary, not relevant to the plot and while some say it was added as a "haha funny joke" c'mon now. Let's use our brains. Now, would I call him a p3d0? Absolutely not. Would he be weird for this? To me, yeah. For anyone reading this, it's up for you to decide. I'm only here to answer questions about the series because I see people saying random stuff and making it seem FAR more worse just cuz they saw a couple tags.

[indie-bard-maiden]

~Black Crescent Bay~

(the mermaid/siren/pirate descendent story, apart of my short story collection 'The Ballad of Hollowfaye' also available to read on wattpad)

Patty Dean (the descendant of a cruel Pirate Lord) is being targeted by a clan of mermaids. They came for his brother last year and would've come for him too if he hadn't already been dragged to the icy depths of Black Crescent Bay by a Siren, Alix Kane. Now he needs to find her again. He needs to understand. But is it too late? Has he already fallen under her spell?

Genre: Past vs Present

Word Count: idk???

(PART 1)

PAST:

Patty's brother, Elliot, threw a Halloween party every year, and it was always bigger than anything Hollowfaye had ever seen. There were no invitations—you were allowed to come if you brought alcohol or weed. Patty didn't need an excuse to get wasted beyond comprehension, but this party fit the bill every time.

It was the only rule, but somehow he still ended up barring people from entering unless they stopped fucking around. For some reason everyone thought he was going to be more lax with the rule now that Elliot was away at college.

Usually they were the people that insisted on bringing rocks and spices from their kitchen—blessed crystals and charmed herbs, as they usually insisted upon calling them.

The barring wasn't going so well.

Alix Kane, some goth girl that too believed in blessed crystals and charmed herbs, was begging to be let in, and Patty, after he'd drunk a little too many, couldn't stop from laughing hysterically in her face.

His friends were around, so he couldn't help it. He was the funny guy, the one people were always waiting to make an asshole out of himself. When they weren't waiting for that, they were waiting for this party.

So you see his obligation, yes?

Alix, however, was in a foul mood, and she wasn't much up for laughing. She stared at him with narrowed icy blue eyes and pursed black lips—lipstick, he'd hoped.

"Look, it's the same rule it's always been, Al: No alcohol, No entry."

She jabbed the crystal into his stomach with ferocity, and it tickled more than anything.

"I'm telling you, Pat, these crystals will clear your mind; these herbs will release you from evil. All much better prizes than beer."

He was getting annoyed with her then. People with actual party favors were forming a line behind her, all waiting to get on his Uncle's boat. He didn't have time to explain that it just wasn't happening.

"You keep 'em then, if you really care about them that much." He looked behind her, signaling he was done, "Linus, are those brownies I see?" He didn't even know if the kid was Linus.

He was still watching Alix out of the corner of his eye, waiting for her to leave. But she still stood, waiting.

"You think evil isn't everywhere, Patrick? You were born from evil, your father's entire bloodline is filled with nothing but thieves, rapists, and murderers."

He ignored her. He knew what she was talking about. His Great-Great-Great-Great-Great (give or take a few million Greats) Grandfather was Patrick 'Black Pat' Dean, the sailing master of the 'Phantom Queen' before he murdered the captain with his bare hands and became anointed as: notorious murderer, pillager, rapist, and Captain of the Phantom Queen.

He died young, 24, but thanks to his many, many forced conquests, he had a number of children up and down the East Coast.

More children than gold, his uncle often said (he had a lot of gold), and the only reason he and his mother could afford this boat, and Black Crescent Bay and the cabin sitting above it, was because their bloodline was the most legitimate.

Black Pat had married his Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Grandmother, Lorelai, when she was just sixteen. They 'd had three kids—which in Pat's opinion, was three too many—by the time he abandoned her to write his history in the golden age of Piracy. He'd only returned to her after his legs got eaten off by a tiger shark, with a dead crew and a ship full of gold and jewels.

Patty didn't know what any of that had to do with getting into a party though.

"You're welcome to come next year, Al. Remember to bring some smokeable herbs though."

He turned back to her after letting Linus pass by them after having the slightest whiff coming from his Tupperware in waves. She stood there, stiff and stricken, not staring at him but through him, eyes bulging out of her skull.

The whole thing gave him chills. A second longer of this, and he was going to lose his cool.

But then she shook her head and reached for his hand. He'd been expecting a beg or something. He'd never seen her put on a show, but he figured she wasn't above it, especially for the biggest party in Hollowfaye to date. But she didn't beg. She interlocked their fingers and he lurched forward at her strength.

"Death is all around you, Patrick. You're stained with it." Her voice was misty and colder than the sea breeze around them. Her ice blue eyes glowed like starlight, moved like the pulse of the tide.

Before he could tell her she should leave, she pressed her black lips onto his. They were hot like balls of flame, and they blistered his lips—the sizzling and popping of the skin made him flinch back but it wasn't backward that he went. She pulled him forward and before he could grab ahold of anything, she was tripping him with her barefoot and pushing him off the other side of the pier.

His muscles seized and tensed against the wrath of the frigid water. He sank immediately. His arms stayed flat and straight; his legs side-by-side. With all his might, he tried to fight, but something was keeping him from doing so. Like there was an invisible wall he couldn't force himself through.

And then a voice—a voice he'd heard before— so familiar he knew it like his own, kissed his skin and wrapped him in silk blankets, warming him from within, 'Pat...' he waited, totally and earnestly consumed, '...stop fighting it. Stay here and be free with me.'

Elliot.

He listened for a second, almost as if it was a reflex, but then reality hit him and he shook his head violently.

It took a whole second for him to realize he was going to die. He sank and he sank. But he didn't die.

A shadowy figure pulled him free of the warm silk he was entangled in, and as soon as he was back on the pier—freezing cold and shivering—he sputtered the salty water out of his lungs.

He expected to see Alix, waiting with a stark-white smile and glacial blue eyes. She wasn't there. Only the people waiting in line remained.

"She just tried to fucking kill me." Was all he could force out through his vibrating teeth.

His best friend, Sol, was drenched and shivering beside him, while Sol's girlfriend, Litha was bumbling over swears as she jumped off the side of the boat with a handful of blankets for them. She wrapped a stack around Sol and a stack around him, attempting to wipe away all the salty-water.

"You stupid fuck." Sol was breathless, and the icy waves had beaten his face blue, "What the hell was that?"

This pissed off Patty. He hadn't done it himself. That bitch pushed him in! He could've died, and now he was being blamed for it?!

"Where is she?" He tried to stand, his anger overcoming him, "Al! Alix Kane!" He wailed like a man possessed.

Sol shoved him, trying to get him to shut up, but it didn't work. Nothing worked until he slapped his hand over his mouth and forced silence upon him.

"Dude! Just shut up! Shut up for a second!" Patty did, only so Sol would pull his hand away, but it remained firmly in place. Not until Patty looked him in the eye did he remove it.

He spoke slowly and calmly--as if Patty was a stupid kid, "You tried to push her, Pat, but you fell."

He narrowed his eyes and thickly swallowed the residual sea grime on his tongue, "She kissed me and then she pushed me in—" he turned to the crowd, he was sure she was there, he could feel the lingering chill of her presence, "you psycho bitch!"

Litha hushed him and bundled him tighter with the blankets. "Be quiet." She whispered so the crowd couldn't hear.

Patty glared up at her. She was acting like she was his mother again. He hated when she did that.

Sol shook his head, teeth clattering, lips turning blue, "People are going to think you're crazy, man, so just be quiet."

Patty couldn't believe his ears. He was the victim of an attempted murder! Everyone was acting like he hadn't just been pulled from the icy depths of the bay.

"She pushed me, Sol. You saw it, you were right there."

He stared down at him cooly, shivering and shushing him simultaneously, not giving him any validation, "I was right there, Pat... And that's not what I saw... Just shut up until the police get here."

"The police?" His heart jumped.

His uncle was the chief of police, but that didn't mean things were easier for him. In fact, it made things harder. The one allowance he was given was this stupid party, and that was with the promise that none of the kids would be driving home under-the-influence.

How could he possibly control what these other idiots decided to do?

Patty knew that as soon as his uncle arrived that he was going to flip his shit and then these Halloween parties would be something of the past.

"Where's Alix?" He repeated through clattering teeth.

Sol shook his head, "She ran. You scared the shit out of her. You scared the shit out of me too; you looked like..." He trailed off.

"What?" Patty tried to sit up, but Sol held him down.

"Stay. You could be hurt." Litha, Sol's girlfriend, grabbed him by his shoulders, giving him a gentle squeeze. Patty rolled his eyes and slapped her hands away.

The crowd of students waiting to go inside quickly dispersed after hearing that the police were going to show up. Linus didn't even leave the brownies. Soon the boat itself was empty. The only people that remained on the pier were the three of them.

"I didn't push her." Was all Pat could think to say. He knew he hadn't.

Sol and Litha exchanged a glance before he looked down at him, his eyes flickering between his before he nodded slowly, "Okay..."

He was looking down at him like he'd just hit his head, and he began to wonder if he had. It all happened so fast. When his uncle finally arrived with the sirens blaring and the red and blue lights reflecting off the water and the coastal shop windows, he had to explain what had happened to the best of his ability.

He could feel Sol beside him not believing a word that was coming out of his mouth. It was maddening. He knew what had happened. But that didn't matter. It wasn't what he was there for.

"You think I give two shits about your dumbass falling in the water—something's happened. Your mother needs you home." He gave Sol a stern glare with his black beady eyes. "You two, get home. NOW!"

"Does Elliot know?"

His uncle didn't answer the question. Just lowered his voice, "Don't make me tell you again."

So, he'd gone home... The news wasn't exactly what he'd been expecting. His mother wasn't mentally sound, in and out of therapy and group therapy and meetings and doctors appointments since he and his brother were just kids, and he'd been expecting this to be one of her episodes.

Sometimes she'd unplug the fridge in the middle of the night because she thought the rumbling electricity was a parasitic demon laying eggs in their food. They'd starve until his uncle would stop by after she'd not answered any of his calls. It usually took days... Once, it even took weeks; the only way they'd survived was because Elliot had snatched them double lunches when the teachers weren't  looking.

She was put on heavy medication then. Sometimes it worked, other times her morose kept her hostage in her bed.

He wasn't expecting the problem to be Elliot. Nobody knew what had happened and nobody could ask Beth, their mom, because most of the time, she couldn't answer coherently.

What the official police report said—and his uncle later repeated through a vein-strained neck—was that Elliot was drunk, fancied some sexy relaxation with his girlfriend, Freesia or Hibiscus or something, in the hot tub and had fallen asleep. They got into an argument, she left, and he stayed in the water. Mom found him facedown hours later, chlorine-marinated and wrinkled like a raisin...

He was in a coma for a few weeks after that. A part of Pat thought he'd pull through. They'd pulled through so many other things together. He'd stayed at the hospital as often as he could. He wanted to be there when he woke up so he could be the first to tell him how stupid he was.

This wasn't one of those times though. One night while Pat slept, Elliot's brain died and so he did too. Nothing good ever happened at that clinic, nothing. He didn't know what to believe because he didn't trust anyone. He didn't even trust himself, how could he? Especially after what had happened with Alix Kane.

When things were starting to get normal for him at school again—when the teachers stopped pitying him, instead focusing it on the Vespers again because their death cycle was every six months—he decided he'd find her and ask her about what really happened that night.

But nobody knew who she was.

"Alix... Kane...?" Sol had raised an eyebrow at him, "Maybe she goes to Bellevue?"

He rolled his eyes, thinking he was joking, "She sits behind us in Folkore of the Masses."

But he just stared at him.

NEXT PART AVAILABLE╰┈➤ˎˊ˗ HERE

BACK TO MASTERLIST? CLICK ╰┈➤ˎˊ˗ HERE

Thanks for reading! Don't forget to like, reblog, and/or comment if you liked or hated it. Spill the tea. Share your thoughts directly with the source (me.)

[fhs-event-week]

I KNOW GOLWYNN HAS PROPAGANDA ALREADY BUT HERE'S MORE BECAUSE I'M VERY NORMAL ABOUT THEM SO HERE'S MY INTERPRETATION OF THEM.

golwynn. where do i start. what if you were a kid who people thought was so weird and fucked up that no one wanted to be friends with you. what if you were a kid who was always treated like an adult from a young age having your childhood stolen away from you to the point you weren't allowed to have friends. what if you both turned out very differently yet both crave for affection in a very similar way.

what if owynn tried to use golden for his influence to win the competition, and maybe to do even more than that, maybe to use his spotlight to get the adoration he'd always longed for. what if owynn tried to take advantage of golden after he ran away from his family by giving him shelter and being nice to him to gain his trust.

what if owynn realized that for his plan to work, golden had to go back to his family and his fame again, so he tries to convince him to do so. what if this resulted in a heartfelt confession from golden explaining he wasn't comfortable with his life before and going in depth about how he wished he had a normal life growing up as a kid, telling owynn that he appreciates his friendship since he hadn't had real friends until not too long ago, when he joined the school.

what if owynn realized they were more similar than he thought. what if owynn decided to start genuinely caring for golden like he wished people would've cared for him when he was younger. what if they had an unexpected yet beautiful friendship where they bonded about their difficult upbringing as kids, both understanding that they had misjudged the other.

but... what if golden found out owynn's original intentions? what if he found out all of the awful things he had done for attention before and all the things he'd planned to do for attention in the future?

maybe owynn tried to explain to golden that he changed him, that for the first time he felt that he didn't have to manipulate people into liking him, despite this being what he had done to golden so he could gain his trust. maybe owynn told him that even though his friendship started as fake, only seeing golden as a means to an end to achieve his plan, he started genuinely deeply caring for him and wanted to become a better person after seeing how different golden had turned out from him despite having the same problem although for different reasons.

and maybe golden tried to understand, really wanting to think that all of the stuff owynn was saying was true, but how could he know that wasn't also a lie? maybe golden really tried to shine a light on owynn's motives but thought that his feelings didn't excuse his actions. maybe, deep down, he knew what owynn meant about not having friends and that some are not as lucky as to not lose their sanity over it. maybe he knew that their circumstances were so similar, yet so different. and maybe, even though he tried, he just couldn't forgive him.

and what if, after that, owynn was just... left there. what if golden just went over to live with fox instead and both him and the rest of the animatronics pretended for good that his friendship with owynn never happened. what if owynn ended up thinking he finally had someone who truly understood how he felt and why he acted the way he did only to be left feeling as if golden had made his dead heart come back to life only to then rip it off his chest and take it with him, leaving, never to be seen again.

.

[ur-frndly-neighborhood-memer1]

Alicent Hightower: Villain or Victim?

(part 1)

While we're all waiting for season 2, I thought an essay about Alicent Hightower would be nice to understand her character and her motives better. Is she really a villain or a victim? Let's analyze!

Before I start analyzing, I wanna start with asking a question: what is character development?

If we go by the definition, it's "In literature, character development is the craft of giving a character a personality, depth, and motivations that propel them through a story. Character development is also defined as how a character evolves throughout the course of a story."

The point of a character development isn't about making the character a better person. It can be though; such as what we've seen with Zuko from Avatar: The Last Airbender, and of course with Jaime Lannister from Game of Thrones/A Song of Ice and Fire... These are the characters who eventually became better people and actually put an effort to redeem themselves.

Yet, there are also characters who started off bad but only became worse in the process instead of being good. Zuko's sister Azula, or Jaime's sister Cersei are good examples for this. They didn't get any better as the series continued. Just the opposite, they were bad and they only became worse. Which is a good thing, at least for me, because I don't think all villains should be redeemed. They're not any better than their irredeemably megalomaniac and tyrannical fathers after all. And speaking of the fathers, Ozai and Tywin are also good examples for this character archetype.

However, there's another character archetype... Not only the characters who became good from bad, or went from bad to worse, but also characters who were good but eventually ended up being bad... Yes, I'm talking about Alicent Hightower.

I know many people in fandom, especially Black supporters collectively hate Alicent. And I understand this hatred. After all, she made her son usurp Rhaenyra's throne even though she was the King's true heir... And yes, Alicent is definitely a villain in the book. She comes across as a pretty Cersei-ish bad guy. Vain, cold, self-centered, manipulative, hostile... It's easy to imagine her like Cersei Lannister. Which is why many fans often compare her to Cersei.

However, Alicent in the show is a very different song. The showrunners clearly intended to make her more sympathetic and relatable to the audience. Because Alicent doesn't start off villainous. Just the opposite; we see a courteous, understanding but also overly anxious and shy teenage girl. She literally picks her fingernails and make them bleed whenever she's uneasy or stressed. Do I even need to explain how sad this is? She was tearing apart her fingernails during the tourney, and Rhaenyra had to stop her friend from hurting herself... And that's just sad.

(Couldn't find the exact image, but them holding hands is still cute)

When the series starts, we don't see an ambitious Alicent who is actively scheming to become the Queen. In fact, she didn't have any personal ambitions of her own but was only used by her father Otto as a pawn.

Because even if some people disagrees with me, I never believed Alicent was trying to seduce the King in the first place. We've seen that she was only doing what her father was telling her to do. And at this point, she had no power to object to him, she wasn't Queen at this point. But yes, Alicent was indeed being close and "friendly" towards Viserys. However, I wouldn't say she was trying to manipulate him at all. I think she was being empathetic. Because she also lost her mother at such a young age, and she was alone with no one there to comfort her and allow her too feel the agony. As she said, everyone told her to move on. So, Alicent knows better now. She knows this is not how you should treat people who just lost someone they loved. And she knows Viserys is feeling lonely. And she genuinely wants to make him feel better. Not because she really wants to seduce him though. She is trying to help him, because she is an empathetic person, just like when she comforted and helped Rhaenyra.

So far, Alicent isn't a power-hungry b!tch who is plotting to steal the throne. But just a teenage girl who has no choice but obey her father's commands. Yes, she actually ended up marrying Viserys, much to Rhaenyra's shock and disappointment. And she technically betrayed her best friend. But again, I wouldn't say it's Alicent that we should blame here. It was Viserys who didn't tell his daughter about his marriage plan. He should have informed Rhaenyra about the whole thing, and he should have done it in privacy, not announcing it in front of a public.

Even Tywin Lannister was informing his children about his marriage plans before announcing it. Because things need to go accordingly. That's how you set up political marriages. Yes, Cersei and Tyrion hated it, but they weren't taken by surprise at least.

But Viserys really took Rhaenyra by surprise there in front of the whole council, which wasn't professional at all.

But this is where most of the fandom started to hate Alicent even more. Because they say Alicent was so blind with her ambitions that she didn't hesitate to betray her best friend. But that's not even true. Yes, Alicent shouldn't have been visiting Viserys, and even if she was, she should have told Rhaenyra about this marriage. But as I said, she didn't have much choices due to her father's orders and King's wishes. If you want to blame anyone, then blame Otto for using his daughter like a sex object instead of treating her like a human-being. And let's not forget, it was totally Otto who literally said "Go and sleep with your bff's dad after he lost his wife. Oh, and make sure you wear your dead mom's dress too!" So yeah, we all know who is actually the guilty one here...

But let's not forget, even after marrying Viserys and getting pregnant with Aegon, Alicent still made attempts to keep her friendship with Rhaenyra. She genuinely cared about Rhaenyra and valued their friendship. So, she isn't a heartless b!tch that some people in fandom are trying to make her.

And even after Aegon's birth, Alicent still had no personal intention to make him the King. Let's take a look at her interaction with Otto about this topic:

Instead of directly saying she wants her son to be King, Alicent replies that "What mother wouldn't?" Again, it's not her personal wish. But in that political system, mothers/fathers would want their sons to be Kings. Remember when Catelyn wanted Sansa to be Queen? Or how proud she was when Northerns followed Robb as their leader? Or how eager Cersei was to crown Joffrey? Or Mace Tyrell repeatedly trying to set up marriages for Margaery to make her the Queen? Anyone with political ambitions would want to make their child a King/Queen.

But Alicent had no such interest. Because she really loved Rhaenyra and was supporting her right. Also, she saw the heavy burden of being a King. She is living with Viserys, she sees all its conflicts and struggles, she sees how the pressure of the throne slowly destroys him. She wouldn't want her own child to go through what her husband was. So, the answer of this "What mother wouldn't?" question should be no mother who knows what it's like. But then, why does she want it for Rhaenyra? Mainly because she wants to keep her own son away from bearing this burden. And also because she really thinks Rhaenyra is strong enough to deal with it. As she told Otto, Rhaenyra would be a good Queen.

________________________

I don't want to make this post any longer. So I will continue writing in part 2. If you agree or disagree with me, let me know it!

[they-them-that]

TW: homophobia, predatory relationships

I watched The Whale the other day and there was... a lot about the movie I had issues with. I generally disliked how it handled its subject matter with no real depth or understanding but one thing I really wanted to address was the terrible gay representation. Spoilers and criticisms ahead!

As the movie went on, we learned that Charlie's eating disorder and subsequent obesity was triggered by the death of his partner, Allen, who was propped up as Charlie's lighthouse. The way the characters spoke about their relationship was as if they were soulmates, surviving off each other's love in a cruel, isolating world. I can appreciate the attempt to shine a light on how life-endangering homophobia is, especially within religious spaces, but the issue comes in when we learn that Allen was Charlie's college student.

The movie emphasized how much they "truly" loved each other and even tried to justify the situation of their relationship. It goes out of its way saying Allen wasn't that young (but still young) and that he was just Charlie's student for night classes, as if that would mean Charlie had any less power over him. We're even shown a picture of the two together which really just captured their stark age gap. The movie seems to be trying to de-stigmatize homosexuality yet it enforces the stigmas even more.

When homophobes already have the idea that the queer community is made up of predators and perverts that are "trying to normalize predatory relationships", the last thing we need is a movie that does exactly that! Even opening the movie to Charlie masturbating to gay porn was to shock and disturb viewers before it actually humanized Charlie's weight and sexuality. Yet it couldn't even fully do that because the movie throughout is giving reasons why Charlie's current circumstances were his own reckoning, including running off with his STUDENT. It's incredibly devastating how this movie botched all of its subject matters and reinforced homophobia to boot, especially when the mainstream is holding The Whale so highly.

[gerardwayissexah]

GerardWayisSexah's WIP Wednesday:

Back when I started writing my longfic, that story was all I could think about. I couldn't imagine being one of those fanfic writers with 10 WIPs going at once. Now, I'm not quite at 10 yet, but...I could easily get there. I'm not even counting all the half-baked ideas floating in my brain. If any of these strike your interest, feel free to message or send me an ask about them. :)

Here's a summary:

To Unbury a Heart (Ten-ten x Hiashi Hyuga) - 16k words [Completely written/ready to edit and post]

Freefall (NSFW Neji x Ten-ten) - 13k words [~60% written]

Pity the Woman (OC-centric, branch Hyuga watches Neji v. Naruto in Chunin Exams) - 2.5k words [~50% written]

Of Dreams Deferred (Neji lives and becomes clan head AU) - 71k words [~80% written]

(More in-depth rambling below the cut)

Completely written/ready to edit and post:

To Unbury a Heart (Ten-ten x Hiashi Hyuga)

Words: 16k

Yes, you read correctly. I wrote a Ten-ten x Hiashi Hyuga fanfiction and it's not crack. This one's inspired by the platonic Ten-ten and Hiashi found family dynamics I included in two of my NejiTen Month pieces. In this particular non-Boruto compliant AU, Ten-ten and Neji conceive a son before he dies in the war. Hiashi and Ten-ten raise the kid together, and Hiashi slowly but surely falls in love with her. However, because of his guilt over his past wrongs, he doesn't feel like he deserves her (even if she's ready to accept him).

Currently writing on and off:

Freefall (NSFW Neji x Ten-ten)

Words: 13k so far

I read a fic a while back in which Neji wants to sterilize himself so he doesn't perpetuate the Hyuga line. When I paused to consider his character, I realized it made sense that he wouldn't want to have children considering how much he resents his fate. Of course, my degenerate mind immediately thought of NSFW implications. As one does. In this fic, Neji swears at a young age (really, when he first learns about sex) that he won't ever sleep with a woman. Like Jon Snow from Game of Thrones, he doesn't want to risk making a child who'll suffer in the same ways he has.

Once he's assigned a team with Ten-ten, Neji starts falling for her though he denies his feelings, and Ten-ten has a boyfriend. Things begin to escalate between them once Ten-ten's boyfriend dumps her, and the Water Prison Incident makes it impossible for Neji to deny how he feels. And he also finds that keeping his promise to himself gets harder...and harder. (I'll refrain from making the obvious joke here).

Pity the Woman (OC-centric)

Words: 2.5k so far

I thought it would be interesting to explore how a rank-and-file branch loyal Hyuga views Neji v. Naruto in the Chunin Exams. I've hit a little bit of a roadblock with this story, since I need to watch the fight to get the dialogue and sequence of events right. Not sure how many of you have read "Bird in a Gilded Cage," but if you have, this fic will delve a bit deeper into Risa Hyuga's character and backstory. Knowledge of that particular story is absolutely not necessary to understand what's going on, though. I've had this fic in my head since last year (!) so getting it all out feels intensely gratifying.

Of Dreams Deferred (Neji becomes clan head - Neji x Ten-ten, Neji x Hyuga OC, Ten-ten x Rock Lee)

Words: 71k so far

This fic is very loosely inspired by "Precious Things," a Neji x Ten-ten fic on Fanfiction.net that was sadly discontinued 10 years ago. By loosely inspired, I mean that - I borrow a few elements (Neji getting embroiled in Hyuga politics, Neji and Ten-ten have an illegitimate child) from that fic, but otherwise go in my own direction. Twelve years before the story's start, Neji and Ten-ten break up so he can pursue his ambition of leading the Hyuga to reform the clan's ways. Marrying a non-Hyuga would compromise his legitimacy, when a former branch Hyuga leading the clan is already considered questionable. However, Ten-ten was pregnant at the time they broke up, unknown to both of them.

Their son grows up believing he's Rock Lee's son, while Neji marries a Hyuga woman for political reasons. Then when the kid is 12, he activates the Byakugan in a moment of panic, which raises some obvious questions (like, who's his actual father?). This brings Neji and Ten-ten back together, and they both start to have second thoughts about the paths they've taken in life. There's also a friendship/sibling relationship between Neji's legitimate daughter and his son with Ten-ten. A lot more goes on in the story, so I can't handily explain it all here.

[helenvader]

I have decided to do a self-plug. Here be excerpts from two of my RoP fanfics that are, in a way, twins, because the basic premise is the same, but the plot, the tone and the execution are very, very different. They still have passages that echo each other, so I have included one such pair below.

1. FIRE

Summary: How come that, in Episode 6, people survived the pyroclastic cloud?

Excerpt 1.

It strode forward: a tall, imposing figure of a man; if man would ever take the form of pure, searing light. His hair was a burning river of orange-red, fierce yellow and blinding white; and his eyes shone just as brightly, alive with a song that burst forth from the immeasurable depths of time. He was resplendent in his unfaltering resolve with which he faced his foe, and the power he wielded was both wondrous and terrifying to behold.

Excerpt 2.

"Why?"

It was not necessary to say more; he knew that she knew.

The green eyes fixed her with the same earnestness as when he asked her to let him keep his peace.

"I'm their King, remember? Not that I wanted to be. It was a certain Elf who insisted I exchange my new guild crest for glory."

Anger stirred in her like a wild beast, and she clung to it with the same stubbornness that fueled her centuries-long quest for revenge.

"Oh, so it's my fault," she snapped.

He sighed wearily.

"I said no such words… But what sad excuse of a King would I be if I left my people to die?"

Her voice was steel and ice. "Since when does Sauron care for anybody but himself?"

He flinched and his eyes turned blank, as if staring across time and space to a place so darksome that there were no words to describe it.

2. TALE OF A KING

Summary: In the Fourth Age, a playwright and his editor get their hands on a lost diary from the Second Age that reveals King Halbrand's real identity.

Excerpt 1.

Tany rushed into the room like a commander of an army leading his men into battle with a song upon his lips, her smile so radiant that Bran couldn't help but mimic it.

"I have it!"

"Can you, please, elaborate?" he asked. "What is it that you have? A new hat, perhaps? A dress? Have you conquered the heart of yet another unfortunate young man?"

She raised her chin defiantly.

"I scoff at your insinuations! It's true that I am in dire need of a new hat, but what I have is an idea for your next play! It's going to be about King Halbrand!"

If one could ooze scepticism, Bran would drown in it.

"King Halbrand has been done to death. What possible new take can I squeeze out of it?"

"Oh, but you can!"

Excerpt 2 (echoes excerpt 2 from Fire)

HALBRAND

(wakes, and sits up with some effort)

GALADRIEL

Why save us?

HALBRAND

Am I not these people's King?

Although that title I desired not.

It was a certain Elf who put it in her head

that I exchange my guild crest for a crown.

GALADRIEL

(lashes out)

So I'm to blame?

HALBRAND

(wearily)

I uttered no such words.

Pray tell what kind of ruler I would be

to leave my people in the grasp of death?

GALADRIEL

What farce is this? You ask me to believe

that Sauron cares for any but himself?

Do I look foolish, fiend? Perchance I do;

for that is who I've been for these past weeks:

a fool of yours… a weapon in your hand.

HALBRAND

I understand your doubts.

GALADRIEL

(sarcastically)

I'm so relieved.