#Lots of self-indulgent rambling here | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

gerardwayissexah · 1 year ago

Text

GerardWayisSexah's WIP Wednesday:

Back when I started writing my longfic, that story was all I could think about. I couldn't imagine being one of those fanfic writers with 10 WIPs going at once. Now, I'm not quite at 10 yet, but...I could easily get there. I'm not even counting all the half-baked ideas floating in my brain. If any of these strike your interest, feel free to message or send me an ask about them. :)

Here's a summary:

To Unbury a Heart (Ten-ten x Hiashi Hyuga) - 16k words [Completely written/ready to edit and post]

Freefall (NSFW Neji x Ten-ten) - 13k words [~60% written]

Pity the Woman (OC-centric, branch Hyuga watches Neji v. Naruto in Chunin Exams) - 2.5k words [~50% written]

Of Dreams Deferred (Neji lives and becomes clan head AU) - 71k words [~80% written]

(More in-depth rambling below the cut)

Completely written/ready to edit and post:

To Unbury a Heart (Ten-ten x Hiashi Hyuga)

Words: 16k

Yes, you read correctly. I wrote a Ten-ten x Hiashi Hyuga fanfiction and it's not crack. This one's inspired by the platonic Ten-ten and Hiashi found family dynamics I included in two of my NejiTen Month pieces. In this particular non-Boruto compliant AU, Ten-ten and Neji conceive a son before he dies in the war. Hiashi and Ten-ten raise the kid together, and Hiashi slowly but surely falls in love with her. However, because of his guilt over his past wrongs, he doesn't feel like he deserves her (even if she's ready to accept him).

Currently writing on and off:

Freefall (NSFW Neji x Ten-ten)

Words: 13k so far

I read a fic a while back in which Neji wants to sterilize himself so he doesn't perpetuate the Hyuga line. When I paused to consider his character, I realized it made sense that he wouldn't want to have children considering how much he resents his fate. Of course, my degenerate mind immediately thought of NSFW implications. As one does. In this fic, Neji swears at a young age (really, when he first learns about sex) that he won't ever sleep with a woman. Like Jon Snow from Game of Thrones, he doesn't want to risk making a child who'll suffer in the same ways he has.

Once he's assigned a team with Ten-ten, Neji starts falling for her though he denies his feelings, and Ten-ten has a boyfriend. Things begin to escalate between them once Ten-ten's boyfriend dumps her, and the Water Prison Incident makes it impossible for Neji to deny how he feels. And he also finds that keeping his promise to himself gets harder...and harder. (I'll refrain from making the obvious joke here).

Pity the Woman (OC-centric)

Words: 2.5k so far

I thought it would be interesting to explore how a rank-and-file branch loyal Hyuga views Neji v. Naruto in the Chunin Exams. I've hit a little bit of a roadblock with this story, since I need to watch the fight to get the dialogue and sequence of events right. Not sure how many of you have read "Bird in a Gilded Cage," but if you have, this fic will delve a bit deeper into Risa Hyuga's character and backstory. Knowledge of that particular story is absolutely not necessary to understand what's going on, though. I've had this fic in my head since last year (!) so getting it all out feels intensely gratifying.

Of Dreams Deferred (Neji becomes clan head - Neji x Ten-ten, Neji x Hyuga OC, Ten-ten x Rock Lee)

Words: 71k so far

This fic is very loosely inspired by "Precious Things," a Neji x Ten-ten fic on Fanfiction.net that was sadly discontinued 10 years ago. By loosely inspired, I mean that - I borrow a few elements (Neji getting embroiled in Hyuga politics, Neji and Ten-ten have an illegitimate child) from that fic, but otherwise go in my own direction. Twelve years before the story's start, Neji and Ten-ten break up so he can pursue his ambition of leading the Hyuga to reform the clan's ways. Marrying a non-Hyuga would compromise his legitimacy, when a former branch Hyuga leading the clan is already considered questionable. However, Ten-ten was pregnant at the time they broke up, unknown to both of them.

Their son grows up believing he's Rock Lee's son, while Neji marries a Hyuga woman for political reasons. Then when the kid is 12, he activates the Byakugan in a moment of panic, which raises some obvious questions (like, who's his actual father?). This brings Neji and Ten-ten back together, and they both start to have second thoughts about the paths they've taken in life. There's also a friendship/sibling relationship between Neji's legitimate daughter and his son with Ten-ten. A lot more goes on in the story, so I can't handily explain it all here.

#nejiten #naruto fanfiction #wip wednesday #tenten #hyuga neji #naruto original character #neji x oc #my fanfic writing #Lots of self-indulgent rambling here #tenten x hiashi hyuga #yes you read that right

5 notes · View notes

happi-tree · 1 year ago

Text

⚔️👑 shield and scepter 👑⚔️

Howdy, y'all! So my wonderful mutual @raemeh did this really cool fanart of my royalty Swiftli au (the fic for which can be found here), and I had some little design ideas about them in my wips, so I thought I'd post the two of them here! Thank you so much to everyone who's enjoyed it <333

#i also have a silly little au playlist that cookies and sei helped out with if folks are interested!#anyway. absolutely FLOORED that people enjoyed this silly little fic i impulse-wrote. it was so very highly self indulgent sdkjbkjadbfs #but good news! i think i'm probably going to write more of it :D my silly little knight and my silly little prince <333 #also hope you don't mind the tag stingrae!!!#also also. ik there's a lot of fantasy/storybook dndads stuff going on #so if u like this kind of concept but also prefer other ships like say... marloakworthy... lovesong... gun control... nudges u to eah au #<- by the lovely kaseykat llumimoon and rindomness on here btw!!! feat. rin and nyx's kickass writing and cal and rin's kickass designs!!!#okokok enough blabbing i just. LOVE all the fucking storybook shenanigans this fandom has going on rn 🥰🥰🥰#dndads #swiftli #shield and scepter #<- yeah i caved. made an au tag. what of it #happi doodles #happi rambles

91 notes · View notes

silusvesuius · 5 months ago

Text

this tree from my new drawing looking goated afffffff 👑👑

#yes this is a nel/vas drawing get off me😂#text #i wanted everyone to see it but also since i draw on paper in total silence i think a lot about everything so i wanted to voice some -#- thoughts too's. tbh i've been veeery self indulgent lately #actually i'm happy that n*lv*s is getting actual hits out of me that i like looking at #especially on-paper stuff that i can recall being fun for me to draw. all traditional art is fun to draw #and digital has turned into an actual task for me (only sometimes tho maybe i;m lying.. mspaint we're still bffs)#i think i just don't see the joy in trying to scrap up a ''' finished ''' piece in an art program .. pencil i love you and i love the -#- feeling of it scratching along the paper....sigh............ Rabu #i don't want my blog or thoughts to turn into traditional art suck-off ventures bc ik not everyone can get into it for many possible -#- reasons but if u feel like it U can ok? do it for Pencil✏️ and for me? for silusvesuius? 𝖎 𝖜𝖎𝖑𝖑 𝖕𝖗𝖔𝖙𝖊𝖈𝖙 𝖞𝖔𝖚 #but Lord i hope i don't also come off as one of those people that r like 'to improve in art just draw that one fictional character u -#- rly like 😂😂' bruh gtfo my face with that.#i'm noticing 'improvement' in my stuff mainly...i think... because i'm always striving to impress #not so much other people that are here just for my art but more so myself #i have a very huge ego (Mind Battle)#also it makes me sad to think about how big egos or genuine (not obnoxious) flauntiness are looked down on #and i can tell bc i used to look down on people that would express the things i'm expressing now #especially in art focused spaces. now i'd rather be in a circle of artists that love to J*rk off their own brain for it's ideas -#-and talent than be w/ very self-conscious artists that are never expressing pride about any of their work #worse if it's to the point where they actively start to fish for compliments bc of it #fishing for compliments is always OK i just wish it didn't stem from insecurity in that context if that makes sense #but maybe that's very easy for me to say and admit bc i did develop a very big ego around my art and ... Creativity? like it's a sims skill #not that i still don't seek out 'attention' or compliments from others to soothe myself but hmmmmmm i hope u feel me.#it just turns me into a very competitive person #who am i competing with? Myself #i'm always in 'you can do better Because you're YOU' mode #which is much better i believe than comparing yourself 2 other artists #i don't think a lot of people read my tag ramblings but if u do i wonder how one feels about a very pompous artist #like me .......(?)

41 notes · View notes

averlym · 1 year ago

Text

ghostwriter (their grandma would tell them she'd lose half her soul)

#or smth smth. having a lot of Thoughts. anyways here's the piece i've been working on and sometimes u have to just say Done #there's a lot of thinks but i am maybe a bit tired and so tmr i'll come in and add all the Tags that i'd personally want to get from myself #maybe i'll reblog the extras tmr too. this is an incredibly self indulgent piece + it probably deserves a tag ramble essay or smth #ig for now we see how it stands for itself + in the meantime:#adamandi #beatrix valeria campbell #hello!! i'm back with belated tags yippee!! alright so for funsies i'm going to make it sound like i'm going bonkers over this :3 #the eye shine... the glowy eye... it's like phaethon shine but also smth about eyes to windows to the soul and like #there's two beatrixes here! half the soul. lost part doing things specific to the phaethon and here it's portrayed as tearing off her name #because that's really; truly; when it all starts!! also notable for the ghostly beatrix is i did it more painterly and cloaked in shadow and #fading into the bg. i think i was super duper specificish about where the glow comes from! front lighting back lighting beloved!!! like help #let's put it this way- beatrix face always glowy. important parts of paper also glowy. it's just that different elements are turned away #from the viewer by each beatrix!! also also. let's talk about the very gently implied blood and red etcetera #like the red string is canonical and i love personally the whole red strings of fate thing even though it's not Here Applicable exactly but #that definitely was an influence! and also the blood in the bg... i'm starting to think this is a recurring trend. but anyway shadowy bea #the other strings hang while the red string loops!! so like that one string feels almost alive. it's a sort of whimsical i put on the same #as metaphorical glowy eye!! also also the eye is lowkey influenced by the whole idea of Eyes and Spotlights within the show and also glow #as in power as in heyyy you ever think about writing as a visual medium huh #speaking of writing!! there is no beatrix thingy complete in my head without text sorrry but the black text overlays are always so >>> to me #and in the sense of art styles and overlays shoutout to all the black crosshatching outline thingys because For Some Reason in my mind #of all the characters beatrix feels like the bnw ink printed illustrations you get in books idk #fun fact! i spent so long rendering this and that was fine i liked it! but then trying to figure out text to go on the papers was a Thing #i tried to do. but then gave up on! sometimes i have to pick my battles and graphic design is indubitably Not my passion bc Fonts #fun facts about this is i Actually did start with a quick sketch in mind and there's been so many changed elements. in the og the front #paper for instance had 'ardess murders' written on it and the back one said phaethon interviews.. i like the nominee list better it feels #more narrative-esque and less passive than her just holding her writing.! other elements that got discontinued were that #front beatrix was supposed to blur into the other ghostly beatrix but i couldn't do it without sacrificing clarity so... no... no blurry #oh and the red string morphing at the ends to smth more abstract was always there from the start!! og had more floating papers #and also a silhouette of vincent and a scalpel bc 'one who pulls the strings' but that (pun intended)! got cut (hahahahahahaha) (sorry)#used also to be a lot of print room clutter but that got cut to bc compositionally i made beatrix larger (learned lesson from last art)

84 notes · View notes

buttercup-barf · 6 months ago

Text

Under the cut are mostly self-insert doodles of decreasing quality. Again, not much directly tied to Team Fortress 2. Might as well toss these out while I have no access to my puter. Much yapping under the cut and in the tags incoming.

Another self-insert, this time less of a "here's me as a tenth class" and more of a "here's my game experiences translated into the class I would take the place of". The Cleaner. Although I guess they could still be wearing either suit. It doesn't matter that much.

That one Convict's Case taunt with Backup would be extremely funny, because the man would be on the verge of a breakdown (he does not want to go to jail so bad you have no idea). The second image- I owe no explanation. You know what I am. You see the pattern with my favourites.

The duality of the man. Resting face versus "just heard you express interest in religion/Russian folklore" face. He's not that hard to make friends with, when you pull him away from all the explosions.

Some doodles of trying to figure his face out. Unfortunately, the more I stare at him, the more I worry that he looks like A Certain Guy With The Last Name "Kazarin", and the fear of never being original in my life caught up to me.

Don't look at me, don't perceive me, I refuse to explain any of my actions to you.

#team fortress 2 #tf2 #that's it that's the only tags i am putting this in. maybe someday i will have the balls to do more but for now that's about it #while i have the chance - and since posts with more of my yapping in the tags don't pop in people's feeds much - i might as well ramble-#-about these guys here. self-inserts or not i'm projecting only half of my bullshit on each one of them. creativity 👍#backup is tall and pale and has sharp canines and more of a dull brown hair colour with tired grey eyes. no amount of babyface or soft-#-hands can really help a motherfucker when he's grimacing so much because he just Hates being around half the people on the team.#cleaner meanwhile is on the shorter side and has constantly flushed skin and brighter colours and whatnot. you can't see it because of the-#-mask most of the time but they do smile a lot more and have a more cheery disposition towards life and see the whole team as their friends!#backup transitioned fully (albeit not very legally lmao) and is scared shitless of not being seen as a man although the last time that ever-#-came up was years ago. he holds onto his last name as part of the heritage he loves and loathes at the same time - attached to his culture-#-and religion and bloodline while also resentful of his family and the regime he knows someone else on the team suffered under.#cleaner just kinda binds and calls it a day. he only does it to confuse the team because while he doesn't identify with being a girl he-#-loves the confused looks his epic gender reveal moment gets. they do not remember their family name or where they grew up or what even got-#-them to this kind of mental state. and he's chill with it he values the here and now way more than some dark edgy backstory.#backup despite trying to be an honest man is afraid of vulnerability as well. he stubbornly refuses to express love towards certain people-#-lest they feel disgusted and turn away. he's afraid of consequences afraid of losing the people he loves afraid of his ''interests'' being-#-what drives them away. it doesn't by the way and he just wasted time being a cold indecisive loser for several months lmao #cleaner wears a suit that hides all of them yes but they pretty much never lie. he is always his truest self and he can always just burn-#-people who don't like him enough to make it a problem. they are a lot more comfortable indulging in their interests - be they innocent-#-and juvenile or violent and dangerous. he is quite open with his affection and his fascinations that backup would rather keep secret.#i want to establish that these two can only exist in separate universes because they both have feelings towards the funny assistant lady-#-and the funny inventor guy (selfshipping for the winnn) and would fight over those two. cleaner would win by the way #it's also a really funny point of comparison. cleaner is objectively more fucked up than backup and still managed to be more normal about-#-their feelings and live as a healthier and happier person than that guy. comedic gold honestly #OKAY I'M DONE if you read up to here you get uhhh a cookie :-)

11 notes · View notes

outeremissary · 10 months ago

Text

I'm so lost in the sauce on my durge that I kinda forget there's supposed to be a video game attached sometimes tbh

#usually when the character completely takes over the game in my mind it's a moment of 'hm maybe I don't actually enjoy this game'#but I don't actually feel that's what's happening here I just think I'm That Excited.#I think a lot of it is having a character outside of an original story who doesn't exist in isolation #like. who has a web of relationships outside of just canon characters that I'm invested in and have been from so early #and we can keep building. by god we can keep building.#I also just haven't had so much fun on a totally new character in fucking forever and it's awesome #while there are definitely some novel aspects (paladin) I have also called them like. the Greatest Hits of everything I've ever done.#woag. fallen angel coded pure idealist imperfect victim Dex/Cha assassin knight with a unique personal relationship with the divine #and the most important backstory characters aren't trapped in the backstory #this rules.#rambling #balthazar is a self indulgent character as well but this is SO self indulgent. healing to the middle schooler in my heart.#and covered in blood!!!!!!!!!!!!!

10 notes · View notes

ygodmyy20 · 10 months ago

Text

It's been months since I have felt excited for planning my wedding, and finally FINALLY today I feel exited again!!! I am working on my docs, I am getting my timeline put together. I am getting all my invites ready. I have my next fitting next week.

I want to yell from every rooftop about how happy this makes me!

#this is a self indulgent I am happy post #i admit I sometimes hesitate to post about wedding stuff here....#There is a sense of weddings are a waste of money/waste of time/waste of wahetver #it's just a unnecessary party #Which yeah.....#it is a lot of money i KNOW I am spending a lot of my money on it hahahaha this wedding is a LOT #and is one thing that stresses me out..... and I know I am making the choice to spend a lot on it #yeah if I didn't spend this money I would have more money for other things yea I KNOW #i know i am lucky to have a job #and the family to help #like I fully know that #and it also can still be stressful as fuck #but god damn I want to share this joy with my family I want an epic party with my partner #anyway this was a ramble just #i'm excited #i really like this guy y'all like i really fucking like him he is kinda the most amazing person and I love him a lot

15 notes · View notes

kiddphel · 2 years ago

Text

i make my SR posts non rebloggable lately cuz this is for Me. i dont care abt numbers or rbs this is content solely for me. if you look i appreciate you SO much but this is indulgent content for my personal ttrpg campaign and i dont want anyone to feel like they have to partake in it

#dragon's ramblings #retyping my tags cuz i was being a grouchy old man for a second turns out i was just hungry #genuinely im at a point with my content i dont care abt likes and rbs. but its nice to know ppl acknowledge my stuff!#validation is sexy. but i dont want ppl to feel like they cant look at my stuff without rbing cuz idk #i know a lot of ppl are like ''likes do nothing if you like but dont rb my content it makes me mad''#and genuinely i dont care if you dont rb my content. i appreciate it! a lot!! esp when ppl leave nice tags and feedback #but again i dont care abt rbs and like i said my SR posts are for me this is indulgent as fuck #cuz its not even self shipping (kinda.) which is what everyone is really kinda here for #you have no idea how much One ask last night made my mood brighten up cuz i was like. omg ppl like my posts :]#and tbh that means more to me than anything

15 notes · View notes

designernishiki · 2 years ago

Text

“ugh why couldn’t nishiki see that reina was Right There and would’ve made such a good girlfriend–” he’s gay, susan

#easy explanation. next #don’t say a word about yumi. that whole thing smells like comp het to me and you can’t tell me otherwise #not in MY house #my personal self indulgent hc is that reina is a close friend to him because he goes to Serena alot and gets drunk and when he’s drunk he’s.#like. basically a white girl drunk when left to his own devices and ends up crying and spilling all his secrets and emotions and etc and #reina has inevitably learned a LOT about him through that not even really by choice #most relevantly; that he’s got a Lot of repressed gay angst going on in his fucked up little brain #has never mentioned legitimate or deep feelings for any girls before and it doesn’t even seem to cross his mind to do so unless it’s called #out. mostly just ends up lamenting about the complicated feelings he developed over god knows how long for his best friend #that he’ll probably never act on because he’s probably straight and probably sees him in a more familial light and blah blah blah #whether or not reina has feelings for him is up in the air but either way she figures out real quick that oh man. this guy. needs someone #to vent to and make sure he doesn’t drink himself to death or do something stupid when he’s in one of his Lament Spirals #and well. may as well be her #yeah. anyway. I got sorta sidetracked here point is I think that boy’s trying to do comp het but Failing #that’s my take #nishiki #rambling

10 notes · View notes

padfootastic · 2 years ago

Text

hmmmmm i’ve seemed to have hit another ~follower milestone~ and i just—

why

#especially considering how long i’ve been inactive 💀#a state of being i seem to go back to at the drop of a hat #always very very baffled @ new people following me #what is it that tempts u—the word vomits? the tag rambles? the ridiculous self indulgence?#it’s like—so many people. willing to listen to me 💀#perhaps this is a big deal to me bc i just. don’t follow a lot of people? it’s a big deal for me to a. follow someone and/or b. become mutua #mutuals*#bc i’m just. so ridiculously picky lol #but either way. thank u for being here. don’t let my nonsense deter u #i hope you’re having fun #as i’m sure is pretty visible by now—my askbox is always open for anything. might take a while but i’ll get there promise #pen’s whining

8 notes · View notes

theswedishpajas · 1 year ago

Text

I’m in the works of making an undertale AU and I’m so excited to share it when I have enough art of it but I’m also so anxious cus it’s REALLY self-indulgent-

You’ve technically seen a thing for it already and people haven’t made a riot about it so far so maybe I’ll be safe to share the whole thing eventually-?

#rambles #undertale #underjas #undertale AU #utmv #alternate universe #I am so scared of being like AU gatekept or some shit #even if I know there are a fuckton of UT AUs that have been loved by the community #I guess I’m just scared of people finding it annoying how blatantly self-indulgent it is…#I don’t want people to come after me with anger or disgust or something just cus I’m having some ACTUALLY harmless fun-#I know people have gotten a lot more cancel-y and ranty over the years #a lot more people try to shoot creators down cus they disagree with something genuinely harmless #rather than just blocking and moving on.#idk man the internet is scaring me more and more than it ever did when I was growing up on here with toxic adults all around me #people try so hard to over-correct everyone they see over shit like idk favorite music or some shit #Making sure you’re being respected online is good but that’s different than making your space safe #you block those people you don’t wanna interact with #don’t ruin their life and don’t accidentally give them some sorta platform to get more attention.#anyways I am ranting a lot #my point is I have a cool AU idea and I have a lot of anxiety of people seeing it and saying “ew cringe” and shooting it down #all cus I tend to make a lot of self-indulgent content (very much also including this idea)#OTL

2 notes · View notes

kerorowhump · 1 year ago

Text

#keroro #i love this. she is me. i can live my unbridled amounts of cute aggression towards him THRU HER #i literally need to do this irl #like i just skimmed ep 64 bc i was curious about this trauma switch thing and ive never wanted to grab him and whack him around more #in an affectionate way not because im mad at him oh no. i understand him so deeply. i feel him. i know his most inner psyche.#and he inspires unrecorded levels of senseless violence in me #me in my little ignoramus bubble writing a 4 pages dissertation on his character anyway bc like. i get him ok #his deep seated sense of guilt that he's constantly fighting against. that he needs to repress and deny in order to function.#his fear of abandonment. fear of never being enough. not being able to make up for it. for himself. thats why hes self sacrificing #his selfish childishness that comes from not having been allowed a lot in his youth. taking friends for granted in his past but knowing -#you dont fit in with them. constantly apologizing for yourself. taking space. too much. self indulgence. because friends is s scary concept #and yet one you couldnt survive without. letting them walk all over you. denying your anger. your fears. crawling back to them with a smile #at their feet and biting time because what you really want is friends. company. but you think you don't deserve it. deep down.#maybe u dont. your worst reminder the friend you love. and if they ditch you it's deserved. you don't need them (you do)#why am i rambling!!!! he has ruined me. if im wrong dont even tell me bc i prefer this version in my head anyway #*charlie voice* look at me. psychological trauma up to here #im not saying growing up poor with a father that shames you for your interests and ''disciplines'' you made him selfish but. no yes!#i am saying that. bc i know how it is. growing up with friends that have a lot that u can never afford. u feel guilty just being with them #ok we strayed a lot from the og post which is just me saying I WANNA PUNCH THIS GUY SO BAD (he is me)#keroro gunso

6 notes · View notes

zarafey · 2 years ago

Text

Noooo through reading a fanfic I was forced to reevaluate a relationship in the one I'm writing and now I'm just seeing so many more parallels between those 2 characters and fuck im already putting so many characters together and now there's ANOTHER ONE

#Nooo their relationship was supposed to be humeru and light and now it's got ANGST 😭#I just wanted them to have a funny little fight and now they're gonna be bonding about cooking & taking care about everyone #And also about feeling like a monster and a weapon deep down with no chance at/right for redemption fuuuuck #Like im also keeping the fight but still #Oh god why must I love crossovers so much and why must I also be able to see so much potential in so many relationships #At least this time it's still not adding to the ever growing chaos of all the non platonic relationships #The biggest problems im having with this crossover is 1. World building bc for some reason I decided that I need to bring game mechanics #Into it as well no now I'm just making up skills and talents and stuff for the Leverage crew as well even tho it will have little to no #Impact on the story #And 2. keeping track of all the fkn relationships and character connections and all that stuff #I have a fkn sociogram for a fanfic thats really mostly just notes and half written scenes but I have a detailed sociogram like what #Honestly im probably never gonna fully write anything of it but I'm having a lot of fun with all my little notes and stuff #Just pure self indulgence #Is there even an audience for a genshin impact leverage crossover? Well I'm here so yes 😌#And my sister knows of both so she's getting dragged into me rambling if she wants to or not

1 note · View note

illusioncanthurtme--art · 2 months ago

Text

A very self indulgent Billford playlist!

Self indulgent, because this music does not appeal to the masses at all; these songs are limited to the stuff I listen to. So I’m being VERY transparent about my embarrassing taste in music right now! Plus, NOBODY ASKED FOR THIS!!! But I hope some of these resonate with you. This is a little collection I’ve formed in my phone notes since I got into this ship a couple weeks ago.

Not a fancy spotify playlist, it’s just links to the music on youtube.

I’ve got this divided into parts:

-The Billford Songs

-The In This Moment Billford Songs

SO MUCH of their music is enemies/lovers perfection. I’ve thought about so many *killing you but also making out with you* pairings to this shit, because these songs were like, DESIGNED to be recycled for any and all love hate relationships, and still hit insanely hard EVERY TIME. So now that you have these songs under your belt, you have them FOREVER. You’re welcome. I haven’t even listened to all their music, I’m sure there’s more songs for this category that I simply haven’t discovered.

-The…Maybe…Billford Songs

My standards were kinda high for making this list. But every song is about your ship when you’re insane, right??? So these are the maybe’s. One’s I’ve thought about billford to, but maybe the lyrics don’t totally align.

Playlist under the cut! I wasn’t gonna ramble about each song but WHOOPS I DID 🤷‍♀️

The Billford songs:

Monophobia - Deadmau5 (Extended version, cuz it’s the best.)

THE LYRICS… THE LYRICS!!!! Definitely bill pining in theraprism.

Propane Nightmares - Pendulum

This one WAS gonna go in the maybe’s, but I convinced myself otherwise after listening to it eighty more times, and now it’s up here on top. And fuck it, this is the *self indulgent* billford playlist, so I do what I want. I go into a fucking trance when I listen to this song, so I can’t really explain 110% why this is a billford song to me, but I’ll try. Apparently, this song is about the heavens gate cult. So not enemies/lovers angst. But looking at the lyrics, you could interpret it as giving yourself to something greater, and coming to the realization that what you pledged yourself to is actually a very bad thing which will ultimately destroy you. (also, you can’t deny that there was some cult like manipulation happening with Bill and Ford. Sense of purpose and friendship.) Definitely billford-y when you consider Fords commitment to bill. And I’ll admit, when I listen to it, there is some pov switching. Because the “trail of fire”, “we will be as one”, and “bring it on home” is VERY reminiscent of bill executing weirdmageddon. So overall, my interpretation of this song is Ford feeling torn about bill, feeling regret, feeling scared, and Bill of course, just wanting to bring the dimensions together. “BRING IT ON HOME!!!!” Or I just like the song.

Rule 34 - Fish in a Birdcage

Bestie recommended this song to me. It needs no explanation.

Painkiller - The Queenstons

…NEEDS NO EXPLANATION DSKFDSKJHF It’s similar to the above, just more… scary imo. Violent. Definitely bill being a little psycho. I really love this song. It’s very recyclable too. You have it for any toxic ship now.

9V - The Queenstons

One of my favorite Lapfox/Halley Labs songs… I’m gonna give you the lyrics, it’s a bit hard to understand without them. In my eyes, it’s about betraying Ford. Also these vocals (and other music by this artist) works so well for bill because of the synthesized voice.

LoveBOMB - S3RL

This is a new S3RL song. This song sounds like a tantrum, and I really liked it when I first heard it, but it didn't fit anything I was into at the time. Luckily, bill suffered a horrible breakup, and now this song has it’s meaning.

When I'm There - S3RL

Bill thinking about joining the third dimension with Ford.

Click Bait - S3RL

I’ve listened to this one a LOT before this, and I surprised myself with how much it aligns with bill, specifically, him tricking Ford.

Space-Time - S3RL

Speaks for itself.

Sodom & Gomorrah - Dorian Electra

This one’s just funny :)

The In This Moment Billford Songs

Sick Like Me

Sexual Hallucination

This is one of those recyclable songs, but I was damn surprised at how well the lyrics suited them, because it alludes to being out of body, possession, etc.

Blood

Half God half devil

Roots

Whore

Damn it, I cant deny this one suits them.

Big Bad Wolf

DAMN IT I wasn’t gonna include this one, but I just checked the lyrics and fuck, it works. In this moment, how are you so wonderful

The…Maybe…Billford Songs

Illuminaughty - Infected Mushroom

I'm kind of grasping at straws with these lyrics, but with a title like that? Come on

The Pretender - Foo Fighters, Infected Mushroom, Turbo Remix

Three versions, for whichever suits your fancy.

Leopold - Infected Mushroom

This one has NO LYRICS, but it has this buildup that sounds really cool, and it has an abrupt decrescendo. Reminds me of their "friendship" and how it all came crashing down.

Idolize - Dorian Electra

Hmmmmm, I just like Dorian. But the idolization thing works for obvious reasons.

That’s it! Hope you enjoy. Maybe I'll do an expansion pack of sorts if I find enough songs for a part 2.

#billford #billford playlist #gravity falls #bill x ford #ford x bill #stanford pines #bill cipher #playlist #gravity falls playlist #billford fanart #gravity falls fanart

2K notes · View notes

ddaz3d-and-cc0nfused · 7 months ago

Note

You asked for Spencer Reid and Reader requests, particularly plus size, and I am so down bad for that man! Especially later seasons him.

Could I have one where he and the reader are intellectual peers but also enemies? Like she's on the team and just as wicked smart as him and into old literature and languages but they constantly butt heads? And the team knows they really just have feelings for each other, but they'll never admit it. Maybe the reader admits it to Penelope or someone one night drinking that he's hot but she never thought he'd actually sleep with her bc she's fat, but she'll take his attention any way she can get it. Maybe Spencer overhears and proceeds to show her just how hot he finds her arguing with him? 👀 Thank you in advance, girlie!

��‧₊˚. 𝐬𝐡𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐥𝐞𝐬𝐬 || 𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐢𝐝

— pairing: spencer reid x plus size!reader

— summary: you and spencer hate each other, that much is obvious... right?

— warnings: very surprisingly crude language in this, self-doubt, implied insecurities, misunderstandings, e2l, they're in love and everyone else knows besides them, i made them dorks i don't apologize, mentions of wet dreams, mentions of male masturbation, dirty thoughts, kissing, stripping, vaginal fingering, spencer's dirty mouth, lots of reassurance 'cause i'm a sap, spencer reid #1 consent king, missionary, unprotected sex, sex god spencer?!?! (he does his research), pleasure dom!spencer, switch r & spencer, heavy praise, and a fluffy ending to tie this all up in a nice little bow!

— wc: 3136

⋆ a/n: okay i do admit that this is RIDICULOUSLY long, but i knew exactly what i was getting into writing this and honestly i had so much fun! i don't think i've ever created such characters that have so much chemistry with each other, so cheers to that! (unedited unfortunately :[)

masterlist | AO3

As soon as you hear Spencer’s voice, you make a point to groan obnoxiously loud.

“And just to think I would be able to go home without a headache today.”

You could feel the glare from said man burning a hole in the back of your head, so you swivel your chair around in order to face the music – in a pleasurable masochist kind of way. His annoyingly handsome face was twisted up in irritation – much to your glee – his eyebrows turned down, and his perfect, plush lips pulled into a deep frown.

You could tell you had interrupted him saying something that he deemed important, most likely a fact that you and him would go back and forth on, and you couldn’t be more pleased with yourself.

“Funny you mention that seeing as though your voice is the cause of mine.” He bit back, his eyes narrowed into slits. “Aw, you think of my voice?” You tease. “Only in my nightmares.” You wink at him. “You still think about me.”.

“You know what this reminds me of?” Luke piped up from his own desk, drawing the attention from your other intrigued co-workers in the bullpen. “Oh here we go.” Tara said in amusement at Luke’s rambling.

“Back when I was a kid there was this girl that I went to school with, and I would always tug on her hair or try to trip her,” His voice was almost reminiscent. “Everyone thought I hated her, when in reality I was just trying to get her attention.”

“Ah,” Matt said with a smile, “The classic ‘boy bullying the girl he likes,’ or in this case, it’s the girl this time.” Your cheeks began to heat and your eyes went wide, Spencer’s own face and the tips of his ears turning an admirable pink hue.

“Absolutely not -”

“What? No -”

Both Spencer and you stumbled over each other to try and defend yourself, but you didn’t have a chance because Emily’s voice cut through whatever was about to be said next, the woman making haste from her office and into the room with the round table.

“Alright you guys, enough. We’ve got a case.”

“To a job well done!” Penelope cheered as she held up her citrusy alcoholic beverage in the air, signaling she wanted to toast.

You smiled indulgently at the woman sitting next to you, clinking your glass with hers noisily and flickering your eyes over to where a disheveled Spencer Reid sat. You didn’t say anything to him though, because you’re a big ol’ softie and like to let the boy wonder rest before you have him back on his toes.

His eyes met yours the same time your glasses collided. You wish you could say that the vibrations from the clinking was the cause of the shiver that forced its way down your spine, but you knew better.

It was like the rest of the bar disappeared, the sound of the others joining in on your rejoicing fell on deaf ears. You could have sworn his dark brown puppy-dog eyes drank you in before he looked away and cleared his throat, taking a rather comically large gulp of his water.

Your eyelashes fluttered like a thousand butterflies wings as you rushed to drink your own beverage.

“Okay, what was that!?” You felt Penelope’s finger poke at your ribs before you actually heard her.

“Ow - fuck! What was what?” You yelped quietly, your hand reaching down to bat away her stabbing digits. “The - the -” She fought to portray her words before her face lit up when she found the correct ones, “The eyefucking!”

Your stomach erupted in butterflies, “Eyefucking? What eyefucking?” You asked with a scoff, hiding your blush behind the rim of your mug.

“Oh, please, don’t give me that.” It was Penelope’s turn to scoff at you. “Everybody knows that you and Spencer like each other.” She said it almost like it was a fact, leaning forward to take a smug sip of her drink through the miniature black straw.

Spencer knew listening in on Penelope and your conversation was inappropriate; but in his defense, you guys weren’t really quiet about what you were talking about.

“I -” He heard you begin, “It’s one-sided.” Was all you said before draining your beer. “So you admit it!” Penelope exclaimed with a gasp.

Spencer felt his eyes go wide at her words, but there was this desperate feeling that spread throughout his body; one that caused his fingers to twitch and the hair stand up on the back of his neck.

“When you put it like that it sounds childish!” You complained slightly, biting at the meat of your lip. “I… I’m just not his type you know? Like - you know better than anyone that guys don’t pay attention to girls like us, so you have to learn to improvise.” You were cringing at your own words, but the liquid in your cup was enough to loosen your tongue and lower your inhibitions.

“Was me choosing to constantly argue with him the smartest way to try and peak his interest? No, but I knew he liked a challenge and well… it definitely wasn’t the proudest conclusion I ever came to, but what was I supposed to do? It isn’t like Spencer would date me let alone actually want to sleep with me.”

Spencer wanted to argue with you about how wrong you were, to tell you about every thought he’d ever had about you.

He wanted to tell you about how much you frustrate him, how at first, he thought he hated you and it took him an embarrassingly long time to realize he hated how badly he wanted you; hated how many dirty dreams he had included you and that plush body of yours. He’d wondered how soft you were, how you smelled and tasted.

Did your moans and whines sound as enchanting as your laugh? Did your eyes twinkle the same way when you were about to cum?

Those thoughts kept him up at night and his hands in his pants, stroking himself to his unlimited imagination all revolved around you. Those were the days that he was more prone to pick fights with you, mostly because he was embarrassed, ashamed, and quite frankly plain ol’ horny.

Spencer thought you were just so sexy, especially when he had managed to light that fire under your ass that really got you going. He wasn’t a sadist or a masochist by any means, but he loved when you yelled at him. So, for you to think so lowly of yourself it almost drove him mad because you didn’t know.

But you were going to.

You were going to kill whoever was bothering you on your day off.

The knocking was unexpected, but so was who was responsible for the noise.

“Spencer?” You asked in surprise.

Usually you were prepared for your exchanges with the man, but if your pajamas were anything to go by, you were anything but. Spencer felt his mouth go dry at the sight of your tits sitting braless in a thin undershirt, your soft tummy slightly straining against the cotton material and a pair of shorts that look like they were practically strangling your thighs.

The only thing he could really say was… “Do you know how infuriating you are?”

Your eyebrows furrowed and you crossed your arms over your chest, and little did you know the action pressed the tops of your breasts over the hemline. “Excuse me?” You almost scoffed, “Please don’t tell me you came all the way here just to argue with me.”

“No I - fuck just let me finish.” This was not how he wanted this to go. You looked like you wanted to say something but your curiosity made you choose to stay silent.

“Do you know why you’re so infuriating?” He asked, taking a tentative but careful step towards you. “Because you haunt my every living thought. I see you when I’m awake, I see you when I’m asleep. I can’t… I can’t escape you! I can’t escape how I feel about you.”

Your eyes were wide and your brows were furrowed; it looked like you almost couldn’t breathe.

“But you want to know the worst part?” His hand lands on your cheek and his thumb gently caresses the skin there. “You have the audacity to think that I wouldn’t want you.”

“You want me?” You asked in disbelief. “But I… but I thought you hated me? I mean - I haven’t been all that nice to you.” You attempt to joke weakly, but your body is on fire; your stomach is tangled up in knots. You were trembling in excitement at his words but in disbelief too.

“Do you have any idea how much I love arguing with you?”

You laughed at his words, your lips slipping into a small smirk as you threw your arms around his neck in an act of boldness. “Oh yeah?” You hummed seductively. “You wanna show me how much?”

“Yeah,” He replied breathlessly. “I do.”

And just like that his mouth was on yours and a long leg shot out behind him to shut your front door. The slam made you yelp, but it quickly melted into a giggle against his lips when he reconnected them.

Spencer tugged you closer to him, and God the feeling of your body was so much better than anything his subconscious could have conjured up. You felt so soft and the front part of your torso pressed against his chest in a way that if he didn’t have you naked under him soon he was going to go crazy.

“Where’s your bedroom?” He didn’t want to pull away from you, but he wanted to do this right.

“I didn’t know you were a gentleman, Reid.” You teased with a dazed smile on your face. “There’s a lot of things that you don’t know about me.” You quirked a brow. “Oh really? How about you tell me?”

“Later,” He said with a lazy shake of his head, “Later.”

His hand reached down to cup your ass, your crotch rubbing on the large boner restrained by his pants. You moaned quietly at the feeling, and found yourself saying, “Down the hall and to the left.”

When you arrived, he couldn’t keep his hands off you; they grabbed at your back, ass, waist, hips. There was so much of you that he had no idea where to start. All he knew is that he wanted all of you right now.

“Can I take your shirt off, please?” His words almost came out as a whine and it welcomed a fresh wave of arousal in your panties. “Take off whatever you want, I’m yours.” A reassuring confession that Spencer had no idea he needed to hear.

His lithe, veiny hands tugged at your top first, dragging it over your head and throwing it somewhere random. Your pants and panties were next to go and you couldn’t help but shiver at Spencer's intense stare.

“I’m uh- feeling a little vulnerable here, could you lose a layer or two?”

The man blinked rapidly, his fingers shooting to undo the buttons on his cardigan. “Yes, yeah of course, sorry I -'' You grabbed the shaky digits. “Calm down, take it slow. I’m not going anywhere.” It was a light jab meant to ease his nerves. For a moment he looked unsure but you gave an encouraging smile.

After his clothes disappeared he held you by your waist, walking you backwards until your calves hit the bed. You quickly hurried to scale the mattress until your head hit the pillows.

“God,” Spencer gulped. “This is so much better than what I imagined.” You giggled slightly. “As much as I appreciate your flattery, I want you to fuck me. Now.” You said it with such simplicity that his eyes nearly bulged out of his sockets at your crudeness.

He swallowed his shock. “Whatever the lady wants.”

He hurried to crawl over your leaning body; you cup his cheek in an act of haste, dragging him down to lay on top of you. His own hands didn’t stop their determined trail, tracing the soft planes of your plush body until he reached your wet cunt.

You whine loudly at the feeling of Spencer’s fingers stroking your damp slit.

“So responsive.” He murmured with delighted smirk. You go to say something snarky but you’re quickly cut off when he begins to rub tight circles on your clit. “‘M sensitive.” You gasp against his lips, your back arching and pressing further into him.

His body falls to the side, laying next to your naked one with a cheek balanced on his fist. “I’m gonna make you cum on my fingers first,” Spencer whispers into your ear. His ring finger entered your warmth slowly and he felt himself choke on his words. You mewled, a hand shooting up to tangle in his long, curly hair, the other grabbed at his wrist.

“Then, I’m gonna make you cum on my cock.” After a few experimental twists of his wrist, his middle finger joins the first. Your breathing speeds up with every movement of his digits.

“Afterwards, ‘m gonna clean you up and take you out to eat.” Your brain could barely process what he was saying, but every word that left his mouth added to the swarming butterflies in your gut – which felt so juvenile seeing as though he was already knuckle deep inside you.

“And when we get home, I’m gonna eat this sweet pussy for dessert.”

Your eyelashes were fluttering rapidly, your hips moving frantically on his fingers in an attempt to try and get him deeper. Spencer must have sensed what you needed, because with a few firm swipes on your sensitive clit sent you spiraling over the edge.

“Spencer, Spencer, Spencer… I - I -” Your gummy walls squeezed his digits, and the only thing keeping you grounded was the heat coming from his body.

“Wow.” You laughed breathlessly. “Wow indeed.” He mimics with the same amount of amusement.

“Are you okay to keep going?” He asks.

“Are you kidding?” The look on his face was almost laughable, and you gave his naked chest an encouraging pat. “Hell yeah I’m good, how about you?”

“If I told you I could cum just from watching you, would you believe me?” You roll your eyes and snort. “We’ll find out later, loverboy. Get up here.”

He scrambles to get on top of you, but then stops. “Wait, wait,” He reaches behind your head and grabs a pillow. “Lift your hips up for me.” Your eyes go wide, because who in the fuck taught him that? Though you move a bit slowly through your surprise, he manages to get the soft thing under you, your lower back now elevated.

But all excitement dies out when he realizes there might be no protection, he looks like he could almost cry.

“It’s cool, Spence. I’m on the pill and I… I haven’t had sex with anyone in an embarrassingly long time.” You admit shyly, your eyes casting to the side nervously. “I’m clean too. I don’t really remember the last time I’ve had sex either.”

You guys make eye contact and erupt into a fit of giggles, “To relearning the art of sexual intercourse then.” Spencer scrunches his nose up at your wording, but you don’t give him any time to retort because you’ve already placed two hands on his face, tugging his head down to kiss your smile-split lips.

He takes the time to kiss you for a moment before reaching down to line his dick up to your entrance. You both shiver at the sensation. You guys disconnect your lips to watch him enter you, your foreheads pressed together and breaths mingled in anticipation.

You moaned in unison when he slowly but surely seethed himself in you fully, and your body tensed at the long awaited intrusion. “Gimme a sec.” You gulped. “Yeah, yeah, of course.” He panted.

You allowed yourself a moment to relax, brushing your fingers through his curls as a way to comfort Spencer as well. After taking a few more seconds to enjoy the raw, intimate moment between the two of you, you said, “Okay. Okay, I’m good.”

Spencer licked his lips and rolled his hips tentatively, and your breath hitched. A string of whimpers were soon to follow with every drag of his cock against your sensitive inner walls, the leftovers of your previous orgasm leaving your body feeling electric.

Your mouth drops open into an ‘o’ shape when his tip brushes your g-spot.

“Right - right there Spence…good boy - fuck - good fucking boy.”

The term of endearment was an accidental slip of the tongue, but it had frayed some nerve in his body, because the groan that left him was guttural and hungry.

“Say -” He huffs. “Say it again, please.” The pace of his thrusts speed up as he begs, and your nails drag down his back. “You’re my good boy, Spencie.” His eyes flutter shut at the praise and he doesn’t bother to be gentle anymore.

“Mphm! More - I need more.”

“Okay, okay.” He rushed to balance on his elbow so that his other arm could slip between the two of your bodies to rub at your clit. Your back arched, and Spencer all but throbbed inside of you, his balls tightening and threatening to cum right then and there; but ever the gentleman, he waited, his stomach sucked in tightly and his body jolting quivering.

“I - I’m gonna cum.”

It didn’t take much to pull you into a kiss. It was sloppy, and messy, and lewd and all of those other wonderful synonyms. Spit dribbled down your chins and with one last hard thrust that almost sent you up the bed, you gripped onto the older man for dear life.

Everything went white as you came; your hearing, your vision, every single cognitive thought you had pretty much flew out the window.

It was Spencer gently wiping the sweat off of your brow that brought you back down to reality, your lungs finally opening up and expanding for that much needed air.

“Hey,” He cooed. “There you are.”

“Hi,” You sighed with a ditzy smile on your face.

There was a moment of silence before you said, “How about we save the oral for breakfast?” Spencer laughed, but nonetheless nodded in agreement. “That sounds perfect.”

“So, what’s for dessert then?” He couldn’t help but ask. “Hm…” You pondered for a moment.

“How about ice cream?”

“I like ice cream.” But then he added, “But I like you more.”

“Ugh, you’re the worst.” You groaned, covering your eyes, but your grin gave you away. “I like you too, I guess.”

ೃ⁀➷ my lovely taglist!: @alina02 @louderfortheback @minervadashwood @their-love @fandomsarelifee @theendofthe70s @nomajdetective @mgg-theprettiestboy @phoenixblack89 @celtic-crossbow @hallecarey1 @bunnybabe-babydoll @alixwriter @dixonzzgirl @violettavirus @khxna

2K notes · View notes