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~The Haunted Manor~
(the witches/ghost story, apart of my short story collection 'The Ballad of Hollowfaye' also available to read on wattpad)
Three witches (two Vespers and a Depraysier) and a mortal unite over a Ouija board in the Vespers' haunted house and try to commune with the spirits of their brutally murdered and dearly departed family.
Genre: YA Fantasy
Word Count: (to be determined)
(Pt 6)
Wind is an omen in nearly every culture. Considering it's the windiest day of the year, I hope it's a good one. It's off to a bad start considering I was caught between being upset that Fives had invited a stranger to tag along on our Halloween plans—and being stupid quiet because she'd stripped into the costume she hadn't worn to school. They wouldn't allow her to wear it. Not without the tights or the jacket or the long-sleeved shirt under it.
My eyes were glued to her legs. They followed her as she paced around her bedroom.
"What if she canceled? What if she's too scared?" She turned to me abruptly, her almond eyes frantic.
And for a second, we stared at each other. Because my mouth wouldn't open. And if I could find my words, they would've been along the lines of, 'Why couldn't you see that I wanted to be alone with you? Was it you who couldn't take the hint or is it me?'
She sucked in a deep breath, blinking rapidly all the while as if I'd actually asked the stupid question. Her hands straightened the bottom of her skirt, pulling it down slightly.
"Sorry..." And then her eyes widened.
Mine would've too if I weren't used to her already. Sometimes I think she can read my mind--the way she just knows things sometimes--but I know this is all my fault. I have an expressive face, and right now it's saying, 'I can't stop looking at your legs, and I feel really guilty about it.'
"Look, maybe we should talk about last night?" She pulled the fabric down further, as if she's had just about enough of my gaze, as if she's seen my thoughts and is disgusted by them. And I knew exactly where this is going:
'Abbotticus, I love you too. As a friend. Can you like please stop staring at me now?'
I bolted to my feet and finally, my mouth worked and my eyes found hers, and whatever words my lips couldn't form before, I tried to send her telepathically. And she flinched... My heart pounded in my chest. I was ruining this. I couldn't believe I was ruining this.
"I'm sorry, Sadbh," I would sayand I wouldn't use her nickname, something I always do, because I would want her to know that I'm sorry and I'm serious, and ruining this is the last thing I wanted to do, "I can make these stupid feelings go away. I promise."
But instead, I said nothing.
Because a deep, hollow knock came from the front door. Someone was using the actual real knocker, the Pentagram that traps evil within the segments and vertices. I never used it. Nobody ever used it. This stranger was a fearless fool.
The echo rumbled through the entire house, shaking the walls, vibrating the floors, clattering the windows. Fives' eyes widened, full of glee and I froze. She looked genuinely happy for a second, like the girl she was before everything.
"She's here!" She clapped her hands together and sped through the door, "Come on, Abbott! The spirit board is down here!"
My heart thrilled in my chest. A spirit board? She wasn't seriously expecting me to exist in the same room with something like that? It wasn't even like I believed in it, but I didn't want to go out of my way to prove myself wrong. Not in this house--which even Fernezra has said was haunted--not on Halloween night either. If anything out of the ordinary happened, it would be because we were asking for it...
I followed her anyway.
She didn't even bother to check the peephole before she opened the door! She was even more fearless than the fool!
"You came!" She shrieked. I flinched at the high pitch as she pulled Malin inside. And it was the craziest thing--I flinched even harder at her appearance. Her bone-white skin, sunken cheeks, almost-luminescent gray eyes... Who the hell was this girl?
Her eyes found me and jolted a shock down my spine. She didn't smile--didn't react at all-- when she greeted me, "Abotticus Jinx."
She knew my name... My full name...
"May-lin." A smirk found my lips. I wasn't even the smirking type. It brought me great joy though, pretending to have power over her the way she did over me.
"It's Malin." Fives cut in. My eyes snapped to hers and she was frowning at me.
I wanted to ask why she was protecting her. This girl didn't need protecting, her appearance did that well enough for her. I wanted to ask why she'd invited someone she'd barely known a day into her house. Something held me back. Something was always holding me back in that house.
"The dining room is through there--" she pointed through the archway, "--now where is-- FERN!" Malin passed through the door just as Fernezra's laugh answered from the kitchen.
"Coming, coming, I have treats."
I was about to follow them inside, but Fives grabbed my wrist. An electric warmth cascaded in waves all the way down my arm, all over my body, and then I turned and met her eyes, and the waves turned to ice in my stomach.
"I know you're upset--" she murmured. It was like she was scared she'd break me.
"I'm not upset."
"You're hurt." My mouth snapped shut. "And I'm sorry. I promise there will be time for us tonight, but right now, this is important to me... I need you to give her a chance." Her voice cracked and she turned back toward the archway, wiping her eyes, "If that's not enough for you then you can leave."
She was cold and tense. The old vulnerable Fives left, and I wanted the right to miss her, but I understood too well why she had to go. I nodded even though she couldn't see me, and I tried to free the tension all over my body. It was no use.
My instincts were telling me there was something wrong here and they hadn't shut up about it since Malin arrived. Wouldn't that make her the problem? Isn't she who they're trying to warn me about?
I went against them and followed Fives. Malin had already made herself at home, sitting at the head of the table, picking up the ancient wooden planchet, and peeking through the glass hole. The corner of her mouth pulled up.
"You were right. There are many haunts here tonight." Her pupil dilated inside her magnified eye. It was such a metallic silver it was almost purple, and she smiled, "They seem to be intrigued with your mortal."
A cold chill slapped me hard on the neck and it didn't leave. Her smile widened, and I was sure it was the cause of the floor swaying beneath me. My brain was melting, just something else I was sure of. The floor groaned as their chairs slid against it. Fernezra's voice cut through the fog.
"Jinx, you look pale. Try some of these," Her footsteps rattled my melted brain, her sharp nails cut into my palm as she pressed something soggy into it.
"What—"
"It's a cupcake. Perfectly moist too."
It dripped through my fingers, splattering into a thousand puddles on the rotted floor. I slurped what was left off of my fingers, and the shaking in my thighs ceased. I stood tall and strong when I sat down at Malin's left, beside Fives.
Neither noticed me, both watched as she traced a finger along the vines carved along the edges of the board. Fernezra was the only other person not trapped within her spell.
"It's been in our family for generations." Fives explained nervously. Her green eyes watched Malin for a reaction.
She only nodded, and her fingers followed the vines down to the words 'Hello' and 'Farewell'. Then they stopped. Suddenly. Coldly. She was still as a corpse.
"Our grandmother used it every day. She said she needed to commune with her mother before she made any decision."
Fern but in with a, "Yes! I remember that. She used to ask her everything! 'Ma, what should I make for dinner? Ma, does this perfume make me smell like a harlot?'"
Fives nodded, her smile fell somberly, "I always thought she smelled nice. Like a nice old lady."
"Mhm," Malin spoke cooly like mist, "Agatha?" Fern and Fives stared at her. Malin stared back. Then she blinked and her eyes focused on something behind Fern.
"Oh. My apologies." She blinked again and her eyes immediately found Fives. "She says you knew her as meemaw." Fern and I gasped, but Fives just clapped her hands in excitement. "She says the perfume did make her smell like a harlot and you'd do well to dispose of yours too."
Fives gasped and I rolled my eyes, "She does NOT smell like a harlot."
The second her eyes found me, I froze.
"Your family has their concerns about continuing this conversation in front of a mortal. They've asked me to inquire if Salem 1692 means anything to you?"
Fives grasped my arm, and it was like the spell broke. My lungs were working again. Those silver eyes had no effect on me. I was free! Her murder attempt failed! She must've been devastated.
"Abbott Jinx isn't like those mortals. He's my bodyguard. He protects us from any harm this way comes."
Malin raised an eyebrow at me. I smiled back. "This boy is your familiar?"
We turned to each other. It took all of two seconds for us to start howling with laughter. It couldn't be real. This girl couldn't be serious. Only the heat of the flickering candles and the smell of the raw pumpkin spice cupcakes reminded me this was reality.
"You laugh in the face of your responsibilities, Mortal? You think protecting the life of a witch is an easy task? Especially the lives of witches that have been cursed and doomed for ages?"
We stopped laughing.
Her eyes were unforgiving, "If this is all a joke to you, perhaps my agreeing to help was a mistake."
Fives jumped up from her seat, knocking it backward. "NO! No, please! This means the entire world to me, please. We're sorry, very very incredibly sorry." I almost thought she was going to fall to her knees and beg for this stranger's forgiveness.
Malin stared her down.
Fives stared back, unwavering.
"Please."
There was a pause. A lull. That is until the sound of Fern slurping her cupcakes shattered the silence. She was barely paying us any mind. Her eyes closed in ecstasy, her fingers dripping batter.
Malin cleared her throat, "It would help if you'd tell me a little bit more about how they died, and when."
"Really?" Fern snorted, "You can't find that out by asking them with your little ghost board?"
Fives ignored her, "It was last winter... They were driving home after a Yule Ritual in the wildwood. Cops said they must've been drunk when they hit a patch of black ice, lost control, wrecked, and animals pulled them from the wreckage and attempted to hide their bodies."
"Animals?"
Fives nodded sarcastically, annoyed at the entire idea, at the incompetency of the force on her parents' case, "Animals."
Fern was more serious when she spoke now, "Okay, look, I get it doesn't sound that plausible when you say it out loud. But this is even more crazy, Sadbh. You're trying to find the person who allegedly murdered your parents through a goddamn spirit board. That sounds less crazy than, I don't know, a bear killing your parents when they wrecked their car in a literal forest?"
Fives waved her off, "Just admit you've never heard of hibernation, Fern. NO BEARS were out at that time."
Fern rolled her eyes, "Okay how about you admit you've never heard of global warming? Bears ARE out at that time nowadays because of overfishing and they haven't enough food TO hibernate, not to mention it doesn't get cold enough. They probably don't even realize it's WINTER anymore."
I regretted being stuck in the middle of this. I was glad when Fives' hand went back to my arm though. Her hands tightened around me. Almost cutting into my skin.
"If you don't want to be here, you can leave. Go gawk over Quinby Digby at the library before it closes or something." She growled.
Malin went to say something, but Fern snapped, "First of all, I gawk over Zaskia, NOT Quinby. Second of all, I'm staying, so when she pulls some rubbish out of her ass, I can say 'See this why we don't listen to scam artists who believe they can communicate with corpses through a plank of wood.'"
I tried to jump in, to maybe bring some peace to the mix, but they cut me off as soon as I got my mouth to work. Malin and I met each other's eyes and it seemed like we were sharing the same thought: This is going to be a long night.
Sadbh crossed her arms sarcastically, "How nice, well I want you to stay so you can find out who killed YOUR family too."
"Sadbh, come on. This is so obviously not real. Right, Abbott? You agree with me?" She looked between her cousin and me. Fives look at me too. And then Malin. Three pairs of eyes were on me and they were all hungry.
I'm no fearless fool, so I hesitated..., "Look, I don't claim to know how your parents died, and I'll admit it does sound suspicious. Maybe if the police did their jobs we'd have more answers..." I licked my lips; none of them looked satisfied, "But using a spirit board? I mean, they're bad luck. And they hold evil or something? And I understand you want to know what happened so you can get some kind of closure... And we will get that for you! Whether it was a bear or a murderer or whatever, we'll get to the bottom of this, I promise."
I was rambling and it was obvious. What could I have said that would've made it matter for anyone? Malin rescued me with answers, "Actually..." her eyes focused, as if she were coming out of a foggy haze, "Have you ever heard of divine retribution?"
"No?" Fives and I echoed together, and her hand squeezed me tighter.
Fern groaned, "Please don't tell me you're saying my Aunt and Uncle were killed because God had a bone to pick with them."
"No. Of course not. Your Aunt and Uncle were killed because A god had a bone to pick with your original ancestor and cursed his entire bloodline hundreds of years ago."
I laughed, "You're joking..."
Malin sighed, "I'm afraid not. Gods can hold quite the grudge."
"So, you're saying A GOD killed my parents." Fives' hesitated.
Malin was getting tired of the questions, tired of us not understanding, tired of us not taking witchy voodoo seriously, "No, I'm saying A GOD is why your parents met their untimely end, just like your aunt, and your family before them and you two will after them. It'll go on and on and on."
Fern threw her cupcake paper at the spirit board, "SEE! It's bullshit, Sadbh! She's just taking advantage of the knowledge that our family has all died young to come to some bullshit conclusion. Cursed by the gods, are you genuinely serious? Which god then, huh?"
I cleared my throat, "And which ancestor? Can't you talk to him? Ask him what he did? Maybe we can fix it? Reverse his mistake or something?" My heart was pounding in my chest. They couldn't all die young. Not because of one guy nobody remembered. Not when it's been so long.
Sadbh growled, her fingers cutting into me, "None of that matters! I still don't know who or what killed my parents! That's why we're here right now!"
I had to yank myself free. I couldn't bear her knife-like claws anymore, "No offense, Fives, I think preserving your life and getting rid of a curse that could kill you matters at least a little."
"Malin. Please. I need to know. I can't move on if I don't know."
Malin cleared her throat, "You ever notice how things change with the breeze? How new paths form, how you make choices you wouldn't have made otherwise, how a new you is born and the old you is remade?"
The omen. My eyes flash. I don't even realize I'm speaking, "What the fu--"
Fives interrupts, "What does this have to do with anything?"
Fern rolled her eyes, "Yeah, and why do you have to say it so pretentiously? You're literally talking about the wind."
It was all becoming less real by the second. Even the cold slap on my neck had disappeared. Malin's effect on me was nothing more than annoyance.
And it was almost like she'd felt my shock. Her eyes locked with mine, and they held an air of righteousness, "The Goddess of Destiny has everything to do with everything, and I wouldn't disregard the wind so easily. How do you think Mistraldaire was cursed in the first place? Arrogance and hubris--thinking you're better than the gods."
Fern cackled, "Mistraldaire? MISTRALDAIRE? That's not even a real name."
"Your name is literally Fernezra," I whispered.
She rolled her eyes, "Oh, shut up. Whose side are you even on?"
"Well--"
"But thinking the decision to curse an entire bloodline is a little dramatic means we're disrespecting the gods?" Fives murmured, "My parents are dead because this Goddess of Destiny was offended by something a man who lived hundreds of years ago said. Maybe I don't want to respect a goddess who thinks murder is a fair punishment for an entire family."
Malin nodded, "Fair enough, but murder wasn't the punishment."
Fives shook her head, "I don't understand. If it wasn't, then why do we keep dying?"
"It's not so much death so much as the way it's orchestrated. And the first curse wasn't death, it was BECAUSE of death."
"Can you stop speaking in riddles for five seconds and just answer her questions?" Fern groaned.
Malin spoke reminiscently, "I recognize the name. Mistraldaire... A Veteran of the War of the Schools."
"Schools... Like a high school...?" I raised an eyebrow.
She shook her head as if it were obvious, "The Schools of Witchcraft. Every clan belongs to one of the three: Mind, Body, or Soul. Mistraldaire's were masters of the body."
"How do you even know this?"
Fives shushed her cousin, and Malin continued, "He's all over our history books of that period. He wasn't so much a veteran as much as he was a disgrace in the eyes of witches and gods everywhere."
Sadbh gasped, "Why? What did he do?"
Fern shushed her back.
Malin looked between them both and waited for silence. Once they gave in, she cleared her throat, "It's a long story but to summarize, in the early days of the war, thousands were lost every day. Undertakers couldn't keep up with the bodies, the land couldn't keep up with the graves, and ghosts from the dead buried carelessly would return and haunt both sides. Then the School of the Body joined and healers from all over Iyael were summoned to await their divine duty--to help the wounded and the fallen warriors."
Her silver eyes began to glow violet as she spoke passionately, "Mistraldaire was one of those called upon. He was one of the best healers. He could heal those on the brink of death, could bring back those just barely over the cusp. When other healers would attempt it, those brought back were different. They weren't the same that were lost. But Mistraldaire was skilled at his craft, a master. He could bring back the soul as well as the body."
"That's good then, right? So why was he punished? He was a hero." I wondered aloud.
Her eyes met mine again, but their power was no more over me, "It wasn't enough for him to be praised, to see the product of his divinity. He wanted to prove his valor. He wanted to show the schools he wasn't just the most powerful healer, he could be a warrior too. He could take life just as he could give it back. So one day, he decided to do just that. He abandoned his post. Took the sword of a warrior he didn't heal and joined the other warriors on the battleground..."
Fern leaned forward on her elbows and blushed, "Okay... Not that I believe any of this... But... What happened then...?"
Malin leaned back, "It was the bloodiest day the war had seen. More died not by the stolen sword but by the rejection of his duty. By taking his fate into his own hands, by deciding he knew his destiny best, by rejecting the blessing and the glory the goddess had given him, the witches that died on the battlefield weren't healed. Those that were killed weren't brought back. More ghosts haunted than warriors fought. He'd decided death was more important than life. For this decision, he was exiled by his fellow witch, and cursed by the gods who'd blessed him."
"So why not just punish him," Fives yelled exasperated, "Why punish us too? We had nothing to do with that!"
Malin looked as though she couldn't understand the question, "Thousands were lost because of him. Mothers lost sons, sons lost fathers, entire clans gone forever. Maybe they didn't think one man's blood would suffice. Maybe they wanted the entire Vespers' bloodline to fall."
Fern narrowed her eyes, "So you can ask the ghosts what our original ancestor was named, but you can't ask them why they deemed all this necessary."
Malin sighed, "Only your family is here at the moment. I can't ask them what every clan from every school thought when they cursed yours."
"I just think it's fuc--
Sadbh jumped, "Did you just say our family is here?"
Malin nodded.
"My parents???" Her voice reached that high pitch again, but I didn't flinch. I understood her need, her desperation.
Malin tilted her head, "Your father."
Fives' eyes were frantic, her hand reaching for mine again. I interlocked our fingers, though it didn't help much. "My dad is here right now? Can he hear me? Where's my mom? Why aren't they together?"
"He can hear you. and he says your mother was mortal. She wasn't cursed the way he was. She doesn't suffer the same fate as he." She spoke softly as if she was trying to soothe her.
Sadbh shook her head, "Suffer? He's suffering? Where is he? What happened? Why can't I hear him? Tell him I want to speak to him!"
I squeezed her hand gently, "Hey, hey, relax. Take a deep breath."
Malin spoke cooly, "I've already told you. Your clan are masters of the body. Your powers stem from there. Us Depraysiers are masters of the soul, and so I can commune with the dead."
Fives' voice was cracking. She was gone. I was losing her all over again. Just like last year. Just like when this was still new. She was beside herself with pain and sorrow and yearning for answers, "Then I should be able to feel him. He knows I can feel. I can feel things, emotions from other people. Why can't I feel his?"
I froze. She didn't notice. I didn't expect her to.
Malin sighed, "Because he isn't a body. He is a soul, an essence trapped here."
"Hey, can you shut the hell up for a second?" For a second, I thought Fern was talking to me. Me and my racing thoughts and my racing heart, but she was scowling Malin down, "Can't you see she's having a panic attack? You're not helping."
"And what do you mean you can feel people's emotions?" I muttered.
Fern eyed me then, "You too. Just shut up. Sadbh, relax, okay? Get your feelings under control and she'll answer more questions, okay? You're going to make yourself sick."
Five's voice was small, barely above a whisper, her eyes distant, "She said he's suffering, Nez. He's suffering and my mom isn't there with him. He's all alone."
Malin shook her head. She clasped her fingers together with a hum, "He isn't alone. Iris is there. He says she's been helping him since he arrived. She's been trying to help him contact Yuna... Yuna is your mother, yes?"
"Is he in pain? Just tell me that." Her voice cracked.
Malin cleared her throat, as if she was attempting to clear Fives' as well, "He says he's alright. He feels no pain. He suffers only because of his punishment."
Her voice only shook more. "Punishment? What punishment."
Malin goes quiet and pale. It's the first time she's looked remorseful. Probably the first time in her entire life. "He doesn't wish for me to say."
Sadbh shakes from beside me. She's restless now. I grab her hand, trying to still her and her racing heart. She doesn't notice any of us are there. She barely notices Malin anymore. Her eyes dance around the room, searching for her father's spirit. "Tell me! Please. Please I need to know."
Malin shakes her head, "He says it'll bring you no comfort."
She launches to her feet, nearly knocking over her chair if I hadn't grabbed it with my knight-like reflexes, "Well then remind him that he's dead. That my mom is dead. Remind him that I feel no comfort anyway because they were both taken from me and nobody will tell me the truth about what really happened."
Fern begs on her behalf, "Uncle Dillon... She's right. If you're really there and this isn't just some scam. I've seen it. I've seen her suffering. Answers could only help. There's no way she could be more lost than she already is."
I narrowed my eyes at her. Not because it wasn't true. Of course it was true. Sadbh wasn't the same and she would never be. How do you go back to the way you used to be before something like this happened? You couldn't; she couldn't. There was an innocence lost, a naivety, an ignorant bliss. No, I wasn't staring angrily at Fern because she was wrong. I was staring at her with an edge because she was right.
Malin pauses. Hesitates. "He hears her screams the night she died. Over and over again. Screaming for him to help, begging for the pain to leave. He tries to run to her, to reach her, and to help her, but she's too far away. As soon as he reaches the Maple Tree in your backyard, she goes quiet. He falls to his knees because he knows it's not because the pain is gone but because she is. He knows Yuna was killed because of him, because of HIS curse."
Sadbh falls back down in her chair, "Oh..."
Fern sighs theatrically, "So I was wrong, then... Maybe you didn't need to know that. Nice going, Uncle Dillon. You should've said your punishment was that morbid."
Malin picks at her fingernails, somehow uninterested, somehow uncaring, "He didn't say it. Mistraldaire did. He says your parents died a death of valor."
I try to bite my tongue, but I can't anymore. I just can't. "Like he'd know anything about valor, he sounds like a coward."
The walls rattle and collectible dishes fly off shelves. The planchette zooms from one side of the board to the other, and Malin just smiles at it.
"You can throw dishes at me all you want, it's true! You're the reason they died ~a death of valor~ in the first place. You're the reason her father is being punished like that. You're the reason her mother was in pain when she died. You're the reason the gods hate the Vespers." My voice doesn't crack, nor waver.
Fives grabs my arm, but I shake her off, "Abbotticus--"
I frown down at her, "No, it's true! If you die tomorrow or next month, when you DIE, it'll be all because of him. Because he couldn't handle healing people even though that was his entire power. he wanted to kill people instead. The gods were right to punish him, but to punish you? To punish your parents? To let your father suffer in death like that and your mother who had nothing to do with it? That's fucked up, and more than that, it's not fair. Because he went against the Goddess of Destiny now it's your destiny to pay for a crime you didn't commit?"
Malin smirks scoldingly, I didn't even know that was possible, "Easy, mortal. Don't tempt her. On Halloween of all nights."
"He has a point. but the fact is... None of this is real... It can't be... And even if it is, we're getting out of here. You and me... we won't have their fate, I promise..."
Fern doesn't even sound sure, doesn't even sound like she believes herself or her words. Maybe because she's said it so many times before. Maybe it was a lie she was trying to convince herself was true, only it's not working anymore, maybe it never worked.
"Malin, please. Ask them what happened that night. Ask them who did it. I don't care if I die, if the curse reaches me too. I need to get justice for them, I need to know what happened."
Fern reaches for her across the table but they're too far, "Are you sure?"
I grab her hand for her, "Yeah, Fives. This doesn't seem like it's helping."
Sadbh nods, resolutely. It's what she invited Malin here for after all. "I need to know. It won't help but nothing will. I won't rest until I know."
Malin clears her throat, stares off into the distance, and communicates with those lost, "Well..... He says........ There was a woman... A woman in the road and your mother didn't see her through all the snow..."
A cold wintry air overcomes the room. Frost blossoms on the dishware, snowflakes dance slowly from the ceiling, the walls blur around us, the lights dim until there's only a glow resembling a pale moonlight. My lungs burn at having to adjust to the dramatic dip in temperature. Just as my fingers start trembling with frostbite, Sadbh grabs my fingers and interlocks them. If I wasn't so sure this was all a dream that surely couldn't be real, I would've realized that she must've felt my chill. That's why she wrapped my fingers in her warmth. It had to be.
I'm too busy staring in awe at the shifting reality to notice Malin's mouth falling open, slowly, slowly. Fern screams. I flinch and look at her, only to see her horrified at something happening beside me. That's when I see it; her. Malin frozen in pain, mouth wide open stretching wider and wider, jaw creaking and cracking, eyes bulging. A squeak of pain exits her throat, but she struggles to let it out. Like there's a pressure on her lungs we can't see.
And then, all at once, in the time it takes me to blink, there is no more Malin. Not the Malin as I'd come to know her. '
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19th century hand pressed antique wax seals
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I need my golden crown of sorrow
My bloody sword to swing
My empty halls to echo with grand self-mythology
I am no mother, I am no bride, I am king
I am no mother, I am no bride, I am king
x
I want to be able to express myself like this someday, in a way that speaks to others, that makes them feel seen.
But for now, I’m a mess of a human with words spilling out stilted, awkwardly. Drunk on my feelings that I can’t describe, like the mulled wine we had last year, my fingers curled into your sweater.
But then, maybe it was a dream and I was drunk on my own, staring at my journal trying to wrestle the words out of me. I tended to ramble more than have a conversation.
But it always spilled from my lips, excited to speak, and never making my point because I can’t remember half of what I wanted to say.
But you smile, and let me go on. My words branching out from here and there, creating a willow tree, and before long I don’t know how it got there.
Ah well. I talk and you listen, and maybe my unsharpened, and dull, are enough.
#florence + the machine#florence and the machine#florence welch#fatm#f+tm#whimsigothic#whimsy aesthetic#whimsigoth#whimsy#whimsical aesthetic#whimsical#whimsicore#whimsies#indie pop#indie rock#king by Florence Welch#music#your words are mine#seen#art#connection#connection through music#spilled lyrics#words#spilled words#spilled ink#spilled thoughts#spilled writing#spilled feelings#spilled heart
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“Night, and the heavens beam serene with peace, Like a pure heart benignly smiles the moon. Oh, guard thy blessed beauty from mischance, This I beseech thee in all tender love. See where the Storm his cloudy mantle spreads, An ashy curtain covereth the moon. As if the tempest thirsted for the rain, The clouds he presses, till they burst in streams. Heaven wears a dusky raiment, and the moon Appeareth dead—her tomb is yonder cloud, And weeping shades come after, like the people Who mourn with tearful grief a noble queen. But look! the thunder pierced night’s close-linked mail, His keen-tipped lance of lightning brandishing; He lovers like a seraph-conqueror.— Dazed by the flaming splendor of his wings, In rapid flight as in a whirling dance, The black cloud-ravens hurry scared away. So, though the powers of darkness chain my soul, My heart, a hero, chafes and breaks its bonds.” Solomon ibn Gabirol, Night-Piece
#solomon ibn gabirol#poems and quotes#beautiful quote#quotes#poems and poetry#pics from pinterest#poem#poetry#writing#moodboard#aesthetic#aesthetic moodboard#whimsigoth#whimsicore#whimsical#moon poetry#moon#avicebron
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🌞 𝐼 𝒽𝒶𝓋𝑒 𝒷𝑒𝒸𝑜𝓂𝑒 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝓅𝓇𝒾𝓃𝒸𝑒𝓈𝓈 𝑜𝒻 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝓈𝓊𝓃 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝓂𝑜𝑜𝓃. 🌛
#girlblog aesthetic#girlblogging#female hysteria#girlblogger#just a girlblog#manic pixie dream girl#divine feminine#poetry#poem#writing#coquette#lana del rey aesthetic#girlblog#this is a girlblog#live laugh girlblog#hell is a teenage girl#whimsigoth#mystical coquette#whimsical#sylvia plath#whimsigoth aesthetic#my poetry#i wrote this poem ages ago but its where i got my url from lol
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Got so many books for Christmas 🥰
Will show them soon here 🎄🙌
In the realm of bound dreams, parchment unfolds,
A library of tales, where imagination molds.
Whispers of wisdom on each quiet shelf,
Books, the keys to another world's self.
Pages turn, a dance of knowledge and lore,
In the hush of a story, we seek and explore.
Binding emotions, tales untold,
Within the covers, countless stories hold.
From dusty classics to tales brand new,
Books weave magic, and fantasies accrue.
Ink-stained journeys, where minds take flight,
Each chapter a canvas, a literary light.
A symphony of words, a written song,
Books, the companions that stay lifelong.
Open the cover, let the stories unfurl,
For in the world of books, we find our world.
#author#book review#bookblr#bookish#booklr#books#books & libraries#books and reading#bookworm#indie author#writing prompt#writers on tumblr#poems on tumblr#self publishing#fantasy#writing#writeblr#whimsigoth#writers and poets#writerscommunity
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Black Crescent Bay
(my NOVEL on wattpad, not to be confused with the short story in my short story collection 'The Ballad of Hollowfaye'! This is just another siren story that also takes place in my fictional town of Hollowfaye. Different characters but same setting.)
Esmarie Kestrel is a human girl. A normal human girl. She's 21, attends Hollowfaye Community College, and JUST wants to make it to the fashion show at the end of her senior year. She's a seamstress, a designer for her school's Theater, and that's ALL she cares about. Who needs math? But also who needs sleep? ESMARIE DOES! So she'd appreciate it if this siren fishboy who calls himself her mate would stop haunting her dreams and giving her DREADFULLY awful romantic visions of their lives together! And while he's at it, he could TAKE her stupid mermaid tail back because EW!
(3)
a seriously disturbing amount of passionate sex
My feet were aching. Those heels were a mistake. And the corset of this dress was forcing my breasts up to my chin and my lungs in on themselves. The pain of beauty was getting to be a bit much.
It was almost worth it when every now and then a girl from one of my classes would compliment my shoes or my makeup or my hair or, of course, my dress. I would compliment them back on their purse or their freshly-lacquered nails or their drunk singing on the at-home karaoke machine.
It made the pain go away just for an instant. Compliments from drunk women tended to be that powerful. But the pain always returned. And the exhaustion and anxiety came back ten-fold.
I had just about enough of watching Waverly and Heath thrill everyone with their tangoes and waltzes and cha chas. To top it off, she'd taken the rose from her teeth and pressed it behind my ear before he twirled her around and pulled her back into his arms.
It was a dismal night, to be clear.
I took another shot and adjusted my skirt. And tried to whimper to Waverly that I was gone-for and I'd be in my bed, pouring tears into my pillow if she wanted to find me. But it was no use. She couldn't hear me over the karaoke.
And then, I saw something that made me freeze. Or rather someone. He hadn't noticed me yet. But there he stood, leant up against the counter in the kitchen, talking to some guy in my theater class.
The guy. The MONSTER from my dreams. Standing there with his jet-black hair... And not? Green-blue skin? And no mermaid tail? Or globe-like moonstone eyes?
No...
No...
I was drunk.
I was beyond drunk.
The guy was normal-looking and he bore a resemblance to some creature that was haunting me... An uncanny resemblance, but still. I was hallucinating. Oh, god. This night could not get any worse. How ill must I be for him to haunt me in my waking life? For me to see him in an innocent, unsuspecting stranger?
I needed a nap. Or psychiatric help. There were no other options. I was seriously losing it. And to make matters worse, I was staring.
He laughed at something the guy said and turned his head slightly in my direction. And I was far beyond any help at all, beause the monster was all I could see. With his glowing eyes. And his webbed fingers. And his slimy tail where his legs should be.
His eyes met mine.
Something fucking wild and beyond explanation happened.
A hallucination, a moving picture where the party should be. My heart pounded harder in my chest, and I thought I'd for sure hurl as the film rolled. It was us. Our lives together.
There we were in a moonlit-tone, lovingly-rosy vision. He was holding my hands, kissing me hard on the mouth, his tongue moving against mine, his mouth all over me, and an orgasm so intense my fingers clenched by my side and my legs quivered in real life even though I was frozen in place.
And then there was me, on top of him. Pinning him down. His fingers curled around my ass, his mouth all over my breasts as he throbbed under me. He was pulsing with pleasure, his heartbeat pounding through his skin, just under my fingers as I rode him. He finished and his abs and biceps pressed me harder into him as he twitched. He was breathless and whimpering into my skin. But it wasn't the end. The vision only continued as we were trapped in each other's eyes.
There we were under the cold waves, floating beneath the bay, webbed fingers holding webbed fingers. He with a sea-green tail and teal-blue fins. Me with...
Oh my god...
I couldn't force my eyes away, nor would the vomit leave my contracting stomach, but, god, did I want to look away and hurl. Me with a rose red tail and cream fins. It was almost painful to watch. We were in each other's arms, our tails intertwined, my head buried in his chest, the passion between us sickly sweet.
And then there was us, buried in the sand, me watching the sunset, him leaning on his elbow as he played with my hair and smiled down at me. Both naked, with... Legs. Human legs. Still disgustingly intertwined like we couldn't bear to be out of each other's touch for even a second.
We weren't in Black Crescent Bay anymore. We were somewhere far away. And then I saw, I shit you not, a dreaded ring on my finger. His hand was gently placed on my stomach--oh god, my stomach.
Round with...
Please no.
A baby? He kissed my shoulder and whispered sweet-nothings into my ear that were blurry. Thankfully, I couldn't make them out.
I couldn't endure anymore. The vision prevailed, showing us forever. Us growing old. Us still young, having a disgusting amount of passionate sex. Him finishing me with his mouth, his fingers, his dick. It was a length and a thickness that genuinely concerned me, and my cheeks heated up. And then there were more visions of us under the water. Us raising babies. Our wedding. Our funeral. All played out of order, but all with the same moon-lit tone and romantically rosy vision.
And then it was over. Reality faded into view. The karaoke. Waverly and Heath dancing to a new number. Another girl was complimenting me on my outfit. I couldn't hear anything, it was the last sense to return.
We were still trapped within each other's gaze. Wetness was, unfortunately, smearing along my inner thighs, and I knew should've worn panties. At least then I could've ignored the butterflies in my stomach and how the vision had my walls tightening for him.
At least, a version of him. The vision of him that wasn't real--couldn't be real.
His eyes... They were the same moonstone blue. And he was raising both eyebrows at me. Not like he was asking me, "What the fuck are you staring at, you wackjob?" but more like he was saying, "You?"
There seemed to be recognition in his face, but I knew that couldn't be. Nobody saw what I just saw. Not even him. He couldn't have. He couldn't have known about the dreams either.
I knew I was seriously so far beyond help that I'd have to be thrown into a mental hospital. Or... I'd been drugged. There were drugs in the rum and the shots and the cigarettes and I was seriously, incomprehensibly losing it.
I turned to leave. I could barely walk in the heels, but I ran anyway. I had to get home. I had to rest. My brain was malfunctioning. I needed help that only a good night's rest could supply.
I didn't expect to be followed.
Previous Part -> (2)
Next Part -> (4)
The BEGINNING -> (1)
#writing#writers on tumblr#writing blogs#whimsigoth writing#spooky aesthetic#indie bard maiden#whimsy fantasy book#fantasy books#fantasy fiction#wattpad author#whimsy#wattpad fiction#wattpad#fantastical#fantasy#fantasy book#fantasy novel#romantasy#romance#fantasy romance#siren x mortal#mermaid x mortal#m siren#f human#f mortal#m siren x f human#queer writer#queer author#female author#female writer
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19th century wax seals
#kathrynhastingsco#antique wax seal#wax seal#wax stamps#romantic academia#victorian era#whimsigoth#mythology#19th century#light academia#letter writing#wax stamp#stationery#png#love heart#cherub#cupid#bull#sparrow#collection#⭒* ·˚ ☾ ⊹.
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#💚💚💚#just#me#things#moodboard#writers#poets#writers and poets#creative writing#artists on tumblr#dragonflies#dragonfly#cat#cats#black cat#green eyes#green aesthetic#nature#naturecore#whimsicore#whimsigoth#whimsigoth aesthetic#dark cottagecore#cottagecore#film#quotes#photography#aesthetics#source: pinterest
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The trees have a language of their own. From the cusp of fall to the dead of winter, they whisper high shrills and mumble lost lullabies to ease the cold. The rivers don't flow. They linger and stall like the mist, stuck to the rocks and the moss and the comfort of its constantness.
So intricately carved were the stones that melted into the land, becoming one with the forest. Once they were there, they never wanted to leave. Never wanted to part from this unusual alleviation.
#writeblr#writers of tumblr#writing community#creative writing#short story#moodboard#moodboard writing#writer#cottagecore aesthetic#whimsigoth#whimsigoth aesthetic#fairycore#fairy goth#whimsical world
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I need art, I need to consume art, I need to live of art, I need art to exist, I need art to stop thinking of art
#art#artists on tumblr#poetry#messy moodboard#downtown girl moodboard#nana osaki#whimsigothic#spirituality#coffee#fashion#writers on tumblr#writeblr#writers and poets#writing
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Always on Misty’s side 🥰 a familiar is more than just a pet ❤️
In shadows deep, where moonlight's glow,
A black cat prowls, with eyes that know.
Whiskers twitch in the mystic night,
A witch's companion, silent and bright.
Velvet fur, midnight's embrace,
Graceful steps in a secret chase.
Golden eyes, a bewitching stare,
Magic weaves through the midnight air.
In the cauldron's simmer and potion's brew,
The cat stands guard, a loyal view.
A whisk of tail, a knowing purr,
A bond unbroken, a tale to confer.
Through haunted woods and moonlit glades,
The pair dances in the mystic shades.
Familiars bound to the witch's art,
A black cat and magic, never apart.
And yeah it’s digital art
#whimsigothic#whimsigoth#whimsicore#familiar#black cat#cauldron#witchcraft#witchy#dark academia#witch aesthetic#witches#witchblr#witchcore#witch community#witch#green witch#thunder witch#author#writing#writers on tumblr#dark aesthetic#dark fantasy#baby witch#cottage witch#witchy vibes#pagan witch#wiccablr#wiccan#wiccalife#pagan wicca
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Main account: @armyangxls !!
A account I can reblog aesthetics, prompts, stimboards, etc! :))
*credit to gif makers I need to find who made them*
About me: My name is Lexi, I'm 20, Queer, Christian, chronically ill, neurodivergent, and my pronouns are she/they
Favorite aesthetics: whimsigoth, fairy Grunge, tropical girl, spooky coastal town, anything cozy or spooky!
Random favorite things: Scooby Doo, non sketchy storms, St. Augustine FL, cozy days, horror media, video games, board games, cartoons, road trips, cozy spooky media, ghosts, period media, dusk, Ghibli movies, foggy days, witchy stuff, mysteries, celestial stuff, decorations, paranormal!
Favorite music: Chase Atlantic, Chappell Roan, Brye, Isabel LaRosa, She Wants Revenge, BTS, TV girl, Taylor Swift, Conan Gray, Fleetwood Mac, Olivia Rodrigo, The Neighborhood, Lovelytheband, Mazzy Star, Melanie Martinez, Halsey!
Favorite YouTubers: Jake Webber, Johnnie Gilbert, Sam and Colby, Loey Lane, Trek Trendy, Jessii Vee!
Fandoms: BTS, The Vampire Diaries, Stranger Things, DC Stargirl, Chilling Adventures of Sabrina, Fear Street, Scream, Pretty Little Liars Original Sin, Outer Banks, The Crow, Encanto, 9-1-1, 9-1-1 Lone Star, Lisa Frankenstein, House Of Wax, Nancy Drew, Pretty Little Liars, Elvis (2022), Halloween, Bridgerton, Are You Afraid of The Dark?, The Lost Boys, Anne of Green Gables (1985-), American Horror Story & Stories, Fate The Winx Saga, The Maze Runner, Creepypasta, Marble Hornets, Harry Potter, Fantastic Beasts, Scream TV Series, Charmed, Dead By Daylight, My Babysitter’s A Vampire, Riverdale, Sense and Sensibility, I Am Not Okay With This, Love Victor, It (2017), Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children, The Strangers Prey at Night, Etc
DNI: racists, homophobos, transphobos, pro-eds, fatphobos, ableists, trump supporters, nazis, proshipers, anti self-diagnose, etc
#fangirl#fandom#whimsigoth#cozy spooky#cozy#horror#chappell roan#writing#writing prompts#aesthetic#witchy#spooky#spooky aesthetic#cartoon#charmed#writing aesthetic#slasher#coastal town#spooky coastal#tropical girl#scooby doo#dbd#tcm#scream#ghostface#stimboards#whimsical#oc aesthetic#whimsigoth aesthetic#pride promo
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