#because I'm starting to get fucking tired for falling for these scams

[hauntingmiser]

oml i am so sorry for falling for a scam again!

I didn't know they were a real person and i kind of played dumb because I thought they were the real deal and some people were rebloging them

turns out they were a fucking scam

[pleasantspark]

A bout emily In base of her official script she wants more responsability and I believe despite being joy bringer she doesn't take care about traumatized winners so she has very shilder reality. Not matter the canon says I like theory exocists victims od sinners,so adam helps them with their trama, and aslo raphael.

I think both emily and charlie want to be hero because they feel unworting respect their tutor, and redeption is just an excuse. I mean imagine a scene like in mulana(cartoon) charlie admit she did what she did because she wants to feel special , ahero like her parents but she fail(because I'm not believe now extremination gone sinners would attack earth and another rings)

It doesn't really help that case. The point is, we didn't get what were shown. All I see is Steven Universe genderbent in Hell. I understand people make up their own fan theories but that's just fuel for VivziePop to make canon in her show, I don't understand why we weren't given what was advertised and I feel like either we were scammed or robbed.

I mean look at the HB PDF of the Pitch. There was no mention of He-Shall-Not-Be-Named. But that doesn't change the fact the show could've at least stuck with the original script.

We didn't even know Emily was a "Joybringer" until after Charlie and Vaggie was sent back to Hell and she TELLS US NOT SHOWS US she is to Sera.

To me, Emily is just Charlie 2.0. and it's not fair how the characters we are following don't get the proper characterization at all. Other than the fact they either fall into a specific critera in order to make the the show more "well meaning" and "evil"

Yeah females being shown in the wrong even if they aren't is definitely stupid as fuck. Apologizes for the rant I'm not feeling to good and I don't want to talk much about Hazbin anymore I'm starting to believe criticizing every point that's been bothering me is just not it anymore.

I'm a fanfiction writer for fucks sake! So most of my next few posts will be related to my DBZ stuff god I miss it so much.

Also my irratic behavior could be that I'm off my meds. Even though I've been off them for awhile now. Prolly just tired. Posting this and going to bed. Yes it's 2PM EST and I have depression. I don't find joy in this if anything Depression in the helluvaverse makes me even more depressed.

[springfieldwater]

All Mine | part 2 |

Bakugo x reader (quirkless au!)

Third POV over Bakugo

He slammed his door open not wanting to be bothered. He sat down on his couch, petting his gray cat. (he seems like a gray cat or orange owner tbh). He got up and went to get his cat and himself something to eat. He sat down on his leather couch. Then his phone started to ring. It was his mom. “What” “What do you mean ‘what’. I am your mother and I can call you whenever I want to,” she scrolled him. Bakugou just sat there with an angry face. “Anyways, how are you?” He was about to give her an asshole response and then she said “Do you have a girlfriend yet?” “WHY DO YOU CARE!!!!” “ Well, if you don’t find someone at your age you’ll die lonely. You will end up being an old cat lady,” she laughed at him. “You know what I am actually seeing someone if you really wanted to know you really wanted to know,” he said cockily, knowing damn well that he wasn’t seeing someone. “Really, I want to meet her. Isn’t your winter break coming? You should bring her along to the house.” “Fine,” he said, “I will.” He hung up. “Fuck,” he thought, “What the fuck did I just do.” His phone pinned.

Y/n

Hey bakugo

You wanna play minecraft

Bakugo :(

no

Y/n

(ಥ﹏ಥ)

Then he thought “nah that won’t work… just ask her you idiot… she'll think I’m a fucken creep”

Bakugo :(

Can I ask for something?

Y/n

Only if you play minecraft with me

♪~ ᕕ(ᐛ)ᕗ

Bakugo :(

Fine

Y/n

ok

What do you what

Bakugo :(

I need you to come with me to my parents house during winter break

Y/n

?

What for

Bakugo :(

My mom asked me to bring a friend.

Y/n

⚆ _ ⚆

And you chose me

little miss me

Bakugo :(

You are not that special

Y/n

Yet you choose me

so you wanna play minecraft

Cuz if you do i can start a new server

Bakugo :(

Just give the name of your server 😈

Y/n

No you will just blow up my precious house

Bakugo :(

fine

just make the server

Y/n

ok

here

Server name: Bakugousucks

Bakugo :(

I WILL FUCKEN SHOW YOU THAT I AM THE BEST

Y/n

ok

Just join

Bakugo’s POV:

We were playing all night. I didn't really care about the time, since I don’t have any classes tomorrow, or should I say today. “You're not tired?” I asked her since we were on a call. “nope,” she said, but you could obviously tell she was falling asleep. “Just go to sleep, dumbass. I can literally tell that you are falling asleep.” “No, we have to beat the ender dragon.” “We don't even have ender pearls, so how are we going to beat it?” “ We need more gold.” “For?” “To go to the nether and trade with the piglens, duh (🙄).”

We ended up mining. Surprisingly, we found almost six stacks of gold, plus the gold we already had, we for sure would get more than 12.

She went through the portal first and we started trading with the piglens.

“MAN, WHAT THE FUCK!” I yelled. “I KNOW RIGHT! LIKE HOW THE FUCK ARE THESE MF’s GOING TO SCAM US LIKE THIS!!” The piglens only gave us 5 ender pearls, and we already gave them over ⅔ of the gold we had. “They don't deserve to live,” she sounded so sinisterly. We ended up killing them.

We went back through the portal.

“Should we go to the end???” she asks. “I don't know. You wanna go.” “Yeah, but I'm kinda tired to be honest” “Well no shit, it's literally about to be 4” “I know, I know… um i'll talk to you later so we can continue, ok” “Yeah, I'm cool with that” “Ok good night Katsuki” “Night” i scoffed at her good night since it was about to be the time that i usually wake up. “Fuck it's late”

Before I crashed into my bed, I went to feed my cat.

~

I woke up to my cat sitting on my chest, demanding for some food.

“Shit” I said as I saw the time on my nightstand. It was nearly 1 pm. I got up to feed my dumbass cat,again. I grabbed my phone to see 6 missed calls from my mom. “Oh Fuck me”

I called her back to see what she wanted.

“FOR FUCKS SAKE KATSUKI I THOUGHT YOU WERE DIED” “ JUST BECAUSE I DONT ANSWER YOU DOESNT MEAN I DIED” “DONT YOU YELL AT YOUR OWN MOTHER and are you barely waking up?” “Don't worry about it” “Are you sick? This isn't like you to be waking up at this time. Do you want me to come over? I'll make you something to eat.” “I'm not sick. Don't even think about coming over. I just didn't want to get up. Plus I have plans either way.” “Anyways I wanted to remind you about your winter break and about how you are still bringing your girlfriend, right?” “Yeah, I know already you don't have to remind me every five seconds.” “Well you never know, Katsuki. Things happen and you might just forget. Well, I’ll let you go since you have plans.” “K bye.”

Finally, she hunged up the phone.

I got up and changed into a black tank top, gray [collage name] sweatshirt, and some dark brown cargo pants with black Nike air max.

I made some toast with avocado and an egg for breakfast. And some coffee. Washed the dishes and went to brush my teeth and grabbed my wallet and keys and then I headed out towards my car.

I arrived at my local grocery store. “Fuck, I'm never staying up that late playing fucken minecraft.”

I go inside and grab all the stuff I need to make my meal prep for the week and other stuff.

Shitty Hair

YO!!!!!!!!!

BAKUBRO

Bakugo

what

Shitty Hair

you want to come over

we are having a like a sleepover 😸

@7

Bakugo

tf

who is we

Shitty Hair

me mina denki and y/n

we r prolly going to watch some movies

so….you wanna go 😁

Bakugo

k

Shitty Hair

really bro 🥹

Bakugo

stfu or else i won't go

Shitty Hair

ok bro 😭

There goes my plan for dinner. I went home and started to cook my weekly meal prep.

🤘😛

[winterstaryu]

You know what??? It's fucking time. Let me tell y'all about my fucking ex.

Buckle up chuckle fucks.

So when I was 18 and fucking stupid, I started dating a co-worker, we'll call her Luna bc that was her cat's name. We dated like 6 months, and she was out of town and unreachable for like, 3 of those.

During that time, this guy, we'll call him fucker, bc I'm too tired to think of another name and it's fitting. Started working at our workplace. He was funny, he was also in a relationship, we hit it off.

Long story very short, his girlfriend left him for ANOTHER one of our coworkers, and then left /him/ for his best friend. Really tore up our dnd group.

At around the same time, I broke up with Luna, the reason isn't important, we were very different people.

Then. My mom gets diagnosed with terminal cancer, and needless to say, my entire fucking world upends. I'm a wreak, and Fucker is /nice/ and funny and there for me and isn't mean to me when I have panic attacks which. Should be a lower bar than it fucking is.

So anyway, we start dating. Eventually, we get new management at work, and it sucks, so I leave. Turn in my two weeks and get a new job. My mom's condition is steadily worsening, and with it, my mental health. My time is being split between caring for her, working full time, and managing the emotions of my shitty ass boyfriend who doesn't own salt and has never processed his emotions a day in his life.

Did I mention he's five years older than me???

So we date for a tumultuous year and a half, and it's Hard, but relationships are supposed to be hard, right? We fight all the time but I just need to work harder to communicate, and he just needs to learn to Manage His Anger.

Anyway, shitty management is Still Shitty. And despite my hesitations, he convinces me to get him a job where I work. Pay attention, this'll become a theme.

Anyway, it's like. /fine/ he's weirdly bossy despite working there way less than I have, and me literally being trained for management, but he's just particular, and a new workplace is always an adjustment, right?

Then. The pandemic hits.

First things first, he falls for a fucking internet scam, because his technical know-how falls short of my 85 y/o grandfather's. He loses FOUR. HUNDRED. DOLLARS. And I pay his rent.

Then, I faint at work, end up in the ER, and while they don't find anything serious I'm laid up in bed, too weak to fucking move and in more pain than I've ever felt in my life.

He tells me, to my face, that he can't tell if I'm lying, he does not believe me, and everything I'm doing reminds me of his abusive mother.

I spend the next few months busting my ass, doing online delivers, applying to every job I can find and having no luck.

Then. My mom dies.

I don't remember anything for about a month after that. Just, little snippets here and there. But I do remember after, when I tried to explain to him that losing my mom to cancer during a global pandemic was something I may never get over, that 6 months was not enough time, that I couldn't just. /be okay/ after that. Even after getting my job back, and my dad remarrying, God ESPECIALLY bc my dad remarried so quick, I'm just, still processing (friends it's been 4 years and I am still processing, again, I am not sure I will EVER get over that)

Eventually, we move in together. He finally, after years of pleading, gets a job with insurance, a job that pays well, not so much I can stop working, but there's room for growth, it's a good company, as big companies go these days, and he likes it.

He loses his job within 6 months. I have to pay rent for both of us, plus utilities. This plunges me further into debt, he insists I am just not good at budgeting, I hate talking about budgeting but anytime we DO talk it is always about my spending, my streaming services, my little chocolates, oh. And my medications, which he at least believes I actually /need/ at this point.

I am begging him, everyday to find a new job, /any job/ because my health issues are coming back and I feel like I'm dying slowly.

I end up getting him a job where I work. Again.

This is when the drinking starts. At first, it is subtle. He gets very annoyed when he drinks, nitpicky. He insists he is just technical.

I decide to stop drinking with him, bc it doesn't interact well with my medication and secretly, because I'm hoping if I stop, he'll drink less. He doesn't.

The first night it's because of a sandwich. He tells me he is Too Tipsy (read: shitfaced) to come downstairs, and he asks me to make him a sandwich. I say no, I tell him it's because I just got home from work, and I am tired and I don't want to. He says nothing. But 20 minutes later he drags himself downstairs, sees me playing stardew valley and starts yelling (sorry, raising his voice, bc when he does its raising his voice but when I do it I'm screaming), about how I'm doing fucking nothing, and if I'm doing fucking nothing, why couldn't I have just Made Him a Sandwich. It's ridiculous, it sounds fucking made up. It makes me start keeping track of our arguments.

The next time, it's because he offered to help our my brother (our roommate) with the dishes. "Just tell me when you need help" he said, "anytime"

Of course, 'anytime' conflicted with his nightly 12 pack. Yes. 12.

So one night, he gets drunk. I get home from work at 9PM and he is already 4 drinks in. I have worked 2 miles home in the cold, after working for 6 hours, I'm exhausted, all I want is to curl into bed and watch Supernatural until I fall asleep.

At around oh, 2 in the morning, I've finally wound down enough to sleep, and he asks me to come downstairs and help him load the dishwasher bc he is Too Drunk. I say no, he agreed to help with this chore, he's responsible for getting it done (and making sure he's fucking sober enough to do it) he. Starts. Screaming. Cussing me up and down, he calls me a bitch, and a mother fucker, when I tell him he is scaring me, he moves into a more intimidating position and tell me He Knows and he Doesn't Care. I pick up my bedding and go to sleep on the couch. He immediately feels guilty and back tracks.

The next day I tell him the drinking needs to get under control, he can't treat me like that. Spoiler alert: the drinking does not get under control and this keeps. Happening. Eventually, there is a stack of empty beer boxes me and our other roommates refer to as 'beer mountain' I am avoiding him as much as possible, and one day I realize that coming home is the worst part of my day.

But it takes another 6 months. Until one night, he is drinking heavily, his attitude is reminding me of That Night and I am begging and pleading with him to just /eat something/ to sober up even a little because he is starting to scare me. It takes an hour to convince him to eat something other than hot cheetos, and when he finally does, he calls me a paranoid jerk.

And I snap. I start recording our conversation and I ask him to repeat himself. I tell myself I'll replay this recording in the morning, so I can remind myself that is WAS that bad, that what he was saying wasn't okay. That this time I wasn't being paranoid and it is NOT my anxiety making me feel this way. It's/him/.

I tell him it's over and he begs, he pleads for me to change my mind and when I make it clear I won't, he shuts down. For someone who always got angry with me for 'being robotic' when I was trying to regulate during an argument, he certainly gets cold quick.

He spends the next for months making himself the martyr. He asks to sleep in the walk-in closet instead of on the couch, and then complains about back pain.

He leaves cups full of soda and bowls of Ramen on my furniture for days, but goes on about how 'he does all the cleaning' anytime I bring it up. When I finally snap and start dismantling 'beer mountain' which is my height, at this point, and snap (tbf, not kindly bc I was fucking done at this point) at him to help, he starts cussing me out again. Saying that this Mess is both of ours, saying that 'he gets it' because No One ever taught me to clean as a kid (I was fucking. Neglected.) He goes on about how my siblings are Just Like me, implies that it is my fault. You know, for not raising them better at fucking 8.

All I can think about is when we cleared out his old room when we moved in together, the carpet was MOLDY, and there were several bottles of piss lying around. I am a messy person, but my space is almost always Clean, if dusty and cluttered.

He tells our roommates and I weeks later that he doesn't understand why we broke up, that I 'just gave up on us, I guess', and. Yeah. I guess I did.

We still worked together. Until today. We will still live together until February 5th.

But so soon, so very fucking soon, I will be /free/

[bylightofdawn]

Ooooof I am very sleep deprived and have reached that mania level where I know I'm just going to crash at a moment's notice. My fuckhead cat woke me up at 4am demanding food. He starts by plopping his 16 pound heavy ass on my chest with his butt in my face to start. And that's just the beginning of his psychological torture. Then he'll move onto hopping onto my nightstand and knocking stuff off till I shout at him to get off. And he'll move to my dresser across the room and knock stuff off.

Lately, he's figured out he can jump onto the bookcase in the living room which has the tv on it. A tv which is on a stand which is kinda precariously held on to said tv stand and is liable to just fall off if you hit it too hard. And last night's latest trick was him using that to try and pull his cat carrier which is sitting on top of a pile of junk in a corner I never touch because it's loud and noisy. And will prolly fall down on said tv, on the cat and just ruin my fucking night.

This of course is in between him loudly running back and forth from the living room to my bedroom like his tail is on fire. He's an asshole. He knows I will eventually cave to his psychological torture and will feet him so I can just go back to sleep. I fed him some kibble and he KEPT AT IT. This greedy motherfucker wanted MORE FOOD. I am legitimately getting scammed by my own cat like he's a 1920's gangster and I'm some poor schmuck . I'm not I am simply sleep-deprived and this is the shit my tired brain comes up with. It amuses me to picture my cat in a three-piece suit like he's Don Felix D. Cat or some shit.

So I feed him more and he IMMEDIATELY goes to sleep. Do ya'll know the amount of self-control it took for me to NOT constantly poke at him and wake his ass up at random times today? Like, I kinda lowkey want payback even though this is a CAT who doesn't understand complex concepts like revenge and fucking war crimes or yanno the Genova Convention.

But again, sleep-deprived brain. Somehow I survived work, all things considered, it was a slow night for the most part.

I did manage to write some stuff at lunch which was very funny TO ME at the time but yanno...again sleep deprived El maybe isn't the best judge of anything right now. I am definitely feeling floaty right now. Going to try and make it to midnight and might make it an early night so Genji can continue to torture me at 4 am tomorrow.

I know I am only making things worse by catering to his terroristic behavior. But I need to get what sleep my insomniac ass can get to begin with.

I'm seriously debating if a timed feeder is a thing I want to invest in. The problem with that is he's a fat-ass who needs to lose weight. I was free-feeding him for too long and didn't really know I shouldn't be doing that. So he's on a hills science diet weight loss kibble. But aI also fedt him two cans of wet food a day. So realistically he's only supposed to be getting like 100kal of kibble a day which is like maaaaaaaaaaybe 1/3 a cup. I tend to feed him little bits throughout the day rather than like one or two big meals. So he'll get like maybe a tablespoon or so every 4-5 hours depending on how shit is going. I'm not super strong on measuring out and it's working. He's dropped from almost 20 to 16.4 as of last week at the vet in about 7-9 months-ish? It's a process but we are making progress.

I might research and see how little the portions the auto-feeder could do. And watch me spend 100 bucks on it and he get too terrified of it because it makes noise and not even use it.

I don't know, I am so fucking exhausted and loopy right now.

EDIT: Huh looks like auto feeders aren't as crazy expensive as I was assuming. This one on amazon is 40 bucks, can do up to 9 feedings and 10 grams or more. And has an app too. Shit it's 40 bucks, my sanity is worth that much.

We also should not trust sleep-deprived El with a credit card and a Amazon account but WHELP. SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY DADDY BEZOS.

[somethingusefulfromflorida]

I picked it up from the shop a week ago, Thursday the 4th, and they couldn't find the leak. They topped off the coolant and let it run full blast, but even though they could tell there was definitely a leak they couldn't tell where or how big. Bastards charged me $120 to tell me they couldn't fix it and to bring it in again if it stopped working.

Guess what stopped working today?

One week. A whole can of coolant gone in one week. I can't afford to go through it this quickly. Each can costs like 20 or 30 bucks a pop if I refill it myself, about as much as I spend on gas, but that's a short term solution. I need to plug the leak! I refuse to take it back to this shop for the third time in less than a month because these motherfuckers are the ones who sold this lemon in the first place! They sold it to an old lady in March with a bunch of problems. She replaced the tires, replaced the radiator, and got an oil change, then pawned it off on me in April because she couldn't afford to keep servicing it. I had to replace a strut and get ANOTHER new tire, and now it turns out the AC was fucked the whole time. This shop KNEW it was falling apart, but they sold it rather than scrapping it, and now they have ZERO incentive to actually fix it when they could just string me along for weeks until I can't afford it anymore and sell it to the next sorry sucker.

I got scammed because the old lady got scammed, and my conscience won't let me scam anyone else, so I just lost a $6000 game of hot potato.

Summer hasn't even started yet, and it's consistently getting up into the 90s outside. If the thermometer on the dash is to be trusted, it gets into the 100s around noon, and it's only gonna get hotter as we go into June, July, August. If I don't fix this AC soon, it'll be undriveable, even with the windows down!

Plus the CD player doesn't work (the door behind the slot won't open, won't accept disks), and I think the fuel economy meter is faulty. It tells me how many miles per gallon I'm getting, and the faster I go the higher it climbs, but it also tells me how many miles I have left based on how much gas is in the tank, and this number goes down steadily rather than fluctuating with mpg. Whether I'm getting 20mpg or 30mpg it still says I have the same mileage left, so at best it's giving me an average (if so, why bother showing mpg in the first place?), and worst case scenario one or both meters are just wrong and I have no clue how much gas I'm really using. 30mpg would be phenomenal for a 16 year old car, so that can't possibly be right.

This car is almost certainly going to die before the year is out. It took me 2 years to save up for it, and if this is the best I can expect from a car under 5 figures then it'll take me another 2 or 3 years before I can afford something better!

I'm fucked.

That's my considered opinion.

Fucked.

My car is in the shop, again, this time to fix the air conditioner. It worked fine when I got it, nice and cold, just in time for summer (we don't get spring down here), but after I took it in to replace one of the struts and a popped tire, the AC stopped working. It still blows, but it doesn't cool the air down, so it feels like I have the heater on full blast. It also smells very chemically, so there must be a freon leak. I've been having to drive with the windows down all week. It's consistently getting up into the 90s, so if they can't fix it then it'll be undriveable within a few months. I cannot have a car with no AC in July and August in South Florida. I will die.

If it's not one thing, it's another. I don't know how much more maintenance I can afford on this thing. I got it for well under my budget, but the expenses keep mounting and it's almost not worth it for how old the car is. It's a Toyota so if there are no other major problems I could get another 100k miles, 150k even, but I keep expecting parts to fail one at a time. I guess that's a consequence of buying a 2007...

[mlmxreader]

All Too Much | Arthur Morgan

request; "Omg please make an arthur x reader with the prompts “I’ve never felt for anyone the way I do for you” and “I’m sick and I’m tired of having to act like I don’t love you every time I step out of the goddamn door” 🥺👉👈" // @morgans-whore

notes; gender neutral reader, angst, injury/blood

"Ah, shit! You moron!" Arthur cursed, glaring at you; things had gone awful with the job you had tried to pull, using one of Hosea's tips to try and scam some stupid people out of their money, but now you were lying on the ground, wincing as Arthur started to panic. "You just had to go and yourself shot in the arm, didn't ya?"

"Shut the fuck up and get help!" You growled through clenched teeth, sighing and writhing as the pain shot through you, making your howls echo through the woods. "Fuck... give me your bandanna."

"Shut up." He hissed, shaking his head and pulling the black fabric from his back pocket, trying not to show his worry as he tied it around your wound tightly. He offered you a bottle of whisky, watching as you eagerly drank from the bottle before he sat beside you, his arms on his knees as he sighed heavily. "Doctor's bout a day's ride away, next town over's the same..."

"I'll be fine," you groaned, moving to sit beside him, smacking his thighs and smiling with a slight bitterness from the pain when he lowered his legs, letting you rest your head in his lap. "Fuck it hurts..."

Frowning, Arthur swallowed thickly, trying to be gentle as he ran a hand through your hair. "You're gonna be alright, I'll make sure of it. I'll make sure of it."

You shook your head, able to see the worry clouding his eyes as you gingerly reached up, flicking his chin to get his attention. "I never told you... did I?"

Furrowing his brows, Arthur shook his head. "Told me what?"

You did your best to shrug with one arm. "That I love you, cowboy... and that I'm sick and tired of having to act like I don't love you every time I step out of the goddamn door, I'm sick of not telling you that I love you to pieces and ashes, Morgan."

Smiling a little, he nodded, scratching his chin and looking away for a moment. "Yeah, well, we gotta get you out of here... you need to rest up. We got a long ride to the doctor's office tomorrow."

"Arthur..." you whined, pleading. "Don't... don't worry so much. I've suffered worse."

"Ain't that I'm worried about," he grumbled. "I can't afford to lose you, right now, (y/n)."

"Because I'm the best con artist, next to Hosea?" You asked, somewhat serious, somewhat heartbroken, and somewhat joking.

"No," Arthur chuckled softly, sadly. "Well, yes, but also no... you know I can't lose you 'cause I've never felt for anyone the way I do for you, and I... forget it. Get some rest."

"Hey," using your free hand, you gripped his tightly. "I love you, too."

He laced his fingers with yours, a little unsure of if you were going to pull away or not, but pleasantly surprised when you didn't, when you brought yourself up enough to fall back against him, your head at the crook of his neck. "Next time you wanna tell me you love me, can it not be after you've just been shot in the goddamn arm?"

Laughing softly, you tried not to jostle and move your injured arm too much. "I'm not making any promises."

"I was worried you might say that..."

tags; @wing-dingy @cowboywardlow

[ianpriceisnotright]

it’s time the kid got free - an ian price playlist for his past, present, and future

i. when she looks at me and laughs, i remind her of the facts. i'm the king of rock 'n' roll completely... hot dog, jumping frog, albuquerque! // like it's gold, you're a prophet. someone's gonna profit. // pawn on every chess board, used 'til they get bored. smile when they yell, 'checkmate.'  // i'm supposed to be happy and free. everyone is talking to me. most of the nights, i lay on my phone, watching the world... nobody knows the sadness i hold. nobody sees what's about to unfold. // i been thinking about you and i wanna go do something nice. i can't take rejection and that's why i pay the crazy price. if you ain't ecstatic i feel like i blew it big time. i'm a little manic, i just wanna see your big smile. nothing means more to me than when i hear that you're proud of me. // i'm wasted, losing time. i'm a foolish, fragile spine. i want all that is not mine. i want him, but we're not right. // i should've stayed at home, 'cause right now i see all these people that love me but i still feel alone. // i had a dream i got everything i wanted. not what you'd think, and if i'm being honest, it might've been a nightmare. // if it makes you happy, then why the hell are you so sad?  // somewhere i lost some of my innocence, and i miss it. stay up all night thinking it's twisted, my life's been survival of the fittest, but i did it. // they tell me i've got something more, and oh you could be loved. but i don't want the lights to find me when i'm dark and lost but never on my own... they said you'll never be alone again, but i don't think you understand me or what i fear... i wonder how it feels to burn out young. // this is everything i wanna say, but can't say yet. and everything i wanna change, but can't change. // they said, don't meet your heroes, they're all fucking weirdos, and god knows that they were right. because nobody loves you, they just try to fuck you, then put you on a feature on the b-side. and who do you call when it's late at night, when the headlines just don't paint the picture right? when you look at yourself on a screen and say, "oh my god, there's no way that's me..." i remember this girl with pink hair in detroit, she said, "you gotta promise us that you won't die 'cause we need you" and honestly i think that she lied. // who put the world on my back and not in my hands? just give me a chance... think i'm reaching my limit. can i exhale for a minute? // i hold you so proudly. traumas, they surround me. i wish you'd just love me back. // i think the kids are in trouble. i do not know what all the troubles are for. give them ice for their fevers. you're the only thing i ever want anymore. live on coffee and flowers and try not to wonder what the weather will be. // i found love in a place i thought was hopeless, now i'm glad i stayed... but i still say i don't wanna be here. i don't wanna be here, i don't wanna be here, take me away. // i'm a pretty boy livin' on the west side, livin' so loud, you could never hear me cry... no more fears and no more lies, i tell myself to sleep at night, amongst these hills, baby. // god, i wonder why we bother. all the glamour, and the trauma, and the fucking melodrama. 

ii.  i can fake a smile, i can force a laugh. i can dance and play the part if that's what you ask... but i'm only human, and i crash and i break down. your words in my head, knives in my heart. you build me up and then i fall apart. // i thought if i was older, i'd have less on my shoulders. i can't tell if i'm sad or bored. most nights i am not sober. l.a.'s making me colder. i've got voices i can't ignore... took my patience for weakness. i wish i would have had the choice. // rip me open, you'll see you're not the only one who's hopeless... don't let me let you down. hey, baby i'm not your superhuman, and if that's what you want, i hate to let you down... it's such a long and awful lonely fall down from this pedestal that you keep putting me on. // and just like a tale my dream was a scam. you waited smiling for this? i am burnt out... oh maybe i'll talk about it. i'll never talk about it. // i'm like a paper cup with a pin prick. you can fill me up but i'll only stay full for a while... you say you understand me well i don't get you at all. it seems everyone around me is so good at faking it that i don't know just how to act around you. // i'm afraid that i've gone vacant, and i don't have time for your equations... when you push me like hell, that's when i start to despise myself. // honestly, what will become of me? don't like reality, it's way too clear to me... we are what we don't see. we miss everything daydreaming. // i was in but i want out. my mother's love is choking me. i'm sick of words that hang above my head. what about the kid? it's time the kid got free... i'm sitting pretty on the throne. there's nothing more i want, except to be alone. 

iii. you peaked. sorry to kick deep, but heard your story before it's not unique... why can't you just play your part? you were supposed to be somebody. you were supposed to make more money. // these are the reasons i drink. the reasons i tell everybody i'm fine even though i am not. these are the reasons i overdo it... to make up for these habits, to survive this sick industry. // why do i waste so much time on things that i can't fix? all these things i hold inside i just can't forget. thought that i could let this go, but i ain't know that it would be like this... baby, i'm impossible to be with. // said my spirit doesn't move like it did before. said that i don't look like me no more. i said i'm just tired, she said you're just high... oh, i make you cringe now. don't i make you cringe? // you're so shook when i look right past you, so surprised you don't get an answer... ain't it weird to feel small 'n stuff? oh, come on, just say something. no, go ahead, tell me, what do i need? // these people don't heal, these people don't feel. these people aren't real so make me this deal. won't you gimme love when i'm gone? // all these voices in my head get loud. i wish that i could shut them out. i'm sorry that i let you down. yeah, i guess i'm a disappointment... paranoia, what did i do wrong this time? that's parents for you. very loyal? shoulda had my back, but you put a knife in it, my hands are full. what else should i carry for you? // i would rather rot alone then spend a minute with you. i'm gone, i'm gone. and you can't stop me from falling apart, 'cause my self-destruction is all your fault... doesn't matter what i do, nothing's gonna change. i'm never good enough... how could you, how could you, how could you love me? when all you ever gave me were open wounds? // oh and i tried to start caring like you and like them when you said that i was killing myself. i healed everything but my shame. // and at once, i knew i was not magnificent. 

iv. and they tell you that you're lucky, but you're so confused, 'cause you don't feel pretty, you just feel used... and they still tell the legend of how you disappeared. how you took the money and your dignity, and got the hell out. // i know that i'm stuck in this misery. guess i'm not enough like you used to think, so i'll just run. // out on my own, kicked out of the show. i'll take what's mine and i'll go. // you've got a second chance, you could escape it all... you could still be what you want to. // i'm a goner. somebody catch my breath. i wanna be known by you. // i had a hole in the middle where the lightning went through it. told my friends not to worry... didn't want to be your ghost. didn't want to be anyone's ghost. // some say love is a burning thing that it makes a fiery ring. but i know love as a fading thing, just as fickle as a feather in a stream... i will not open myself up this way again. // you can't take back what you've taken away, 'cause i feel you. i feel you near me. // have you forgotten what you have and what is yours...? there's so much more, you can reclaim your crown. you're in control. rid of the monsters inside your head, put all your faults to bed. you can be king again. // somebody said you disappeared in a crowd. i didn't understand then, i don't understand now... i was solid gold, i was in the fight. i was coming back from what seemed like a ruin... now i only think about los angeles when the sun kicks out. // first night of your life curled up on your own. looking at you now, you would never know. // i do believe it's true, that there are roads left in both of our shoes. // shout out to the old me and everything he showed me. glad you didn't listen when the world was trying to slow me... had to fuck it up before i really got to know me. // what if who i hoped to be was always me? and the love i fought to feel was always free? what if all the things i've done were just attempts at earning love? 'cause the hole inside my heart is stupid deep. 

[catscraftsandcommentary]

Remind me this afternoon to read the "read more." I've only gotten to "horse boy Eliot left his HS girlfriend" and I want to get a few more eps in before I spoil myself.

(Also I've been WANTING to watch Leverage for a while, just...hadn't had time/a convenient way to do it. So the yt link was timely!)

And if you want a more Witcher-y setting, consider this:

- Eskel was briefly a Ban Ard student - they taught magic, politics, and business, which Eskel thought (and propaganda claimed) would be used to help people! When he found out that Ban Ard was just manipulating events to benefit themselves, he left.

- Geralt was still the twice-grassed darling of the wolf witchers...but learning how high the human toll of the experiments soured him on creating more witchers. Also he's met enough intelligent "monsters" that he's turned self-taught zoologist/conservationist.

- (Possible crossover with Eskel - was Eskel interning under some mages experimenting on witchers before he left?)

- Lambert...hm. Maybe he was from a younger group of witchers than Geralt (like in canon) BUT when he realized how high the death toll was - and how little the mages cared about the trainees' and witchers' lives - he INTENTIONALLY destroyed the grasses and all documents about the trials. Kind of a "fuck you, never again." And then went on to be a very DESTRUCTIVE Robin Hood.

- Jaskier and Yennefer are Mr and Mrs Smooth-Talking Chameleons. They can blend into any social group, any city, any event seamlessly and talk any person into any foolish or risky plan. Jaskier uses that ability for good...mostly. Sometimes just for funsies. Yennefer doesn't use it all the time, but when she does, she is RUTHLESS.

- Jaskier met Aiden at some point, so when they start to assemble their group and need an acrobat/thief, he goes "I know a guy." (Jaskier ALWAYS knows somebody, no matter how obscure the topic. He is INCREDIBLY social and remembers EVERYTHING.)

- However crazy Eskel and Geralt thought that Lambert, Jaskier, and Yennefer are....Aiden is all that times ten. Reckless and hyperactive and easily bored, but DAMN is he good at getting into (and out of) impossible places.

- Aiden takes exactly ONE (1) look at Lambert and goes "I'm gonna climb him like a mage tower." After the first time Lambert sees Aiden pull off some impossible and acrobtic stunt and make it look GRACEFUL, the attraction is mutual.

- Everyone gets very tired of walking in on them screwing...especially during the middle of an op. Like guys, KEEP IT IN YOUR PANTS. At least until we're away clean.

- (Sometimes Jaskier joins them. What? They're hot.)

- Geralt and Yennefer have A History, and it is EXTREMELY awkward for literally everyone. And there's usually about a 1 in 3 chance of any conversation between them blowing up into a fight.

- Geralt let Lambert (and by extension, Aiden) watch Ciri exactly ONE time. Lambert taught her how to make half a dozen different explosives, and Aiden taught her parkour. On a royal palace.

- NEVER. AGAIN.

- Jaskier babysat for a weekend, and Ciri came home knowing more about how to manipulate people than Geralt is really comfortable with her knowing...especially since she uses that knowledge against HIM.

- The less said about Yennefer's turn, the better.

- Eskel is the only one allowed to watch Ciri anymore...but that's fine. He just teaches her how to recognize scams and plan for an op and all the many, many ways it can go wrong.

- Not sure how Vesemir fits in, but he DEFINITELY had a big falling-out with Lambert.

- Stregobor keeps popping up and making trouble for everyone because he's a soulless bastard like that.

- Jaskier has a vicious rivalry with Valdo Marx after he screwed Jaskier over on a hit, many years ago. But Jaskier never forgets and never forgives.

@everything-but-the-not-natural I've been thinking about a Leverage AU for the witchers (bear with me, I'm still learningLeverage names), and so far I have:

Geralt is the muscle, horse lover

Lambert is the tech nerd, "I taught myself in five minutes" genius

Aiden is the batshit crazy thief (and Lambert's boyfriend, no one wants to ask but they're all waiting for the explosion)

Jaskier is the master of disguise and charismatic grifter

ESKEL is their leader, who was burned on his old life and still desperately wants to help people

Geralt and Eskel have known each other forever and have similar stories (wanted to help people, got hurt, lost their old life). Geralt and Jaskier are feeling each other out, seeing if they work as a couple, and Eskel is looking at them with big sad eyes wanting in. (Jaskier wants them BOTH. Geralt and Eskel haven't realized that polyamory is even an OPTION yet.)

[disaster-fruit]

Martín is lucky the guys are unnarmed :')

Im fine with the mug scene then, i stayed with the original because i already expected you'd suggest a different scenario lol i do know you. (not so) heroic rescue it is, so we introduce very early on that martin is no long invincible. I see this becoming a problem often, i'm willing to bet this isnt the last fight he'll get into in the next few days.

The only very minor change i'll make is that instead of this happening after he spent an entire day in the city, its more of a few hours later, like the movie. And thats because... i think martin on his own would get arrested in a heartbeat lol the longer he stays the worse are his chances, until lulu finds him of course to control a little bit his charmingly impulses.

now i'm imagening once they're at the apartment and talked a bit martin goes like I am tired my humble host! *Starts walking around the place like it was his, gets to luciano's room* I see these are the largest quarters of this strange hut! Quite... rustic! Shall do me just fine! Good night! And before luciano can stop him ops he's already sleeping like a rock. FINE luciano can sleep on the couch but sebastian better show up in morning.

As funny as it is to imagine luciano being caught in some sort of fairy tale roleplay, i think i'll stick with fully nude ticnho walking out of the bathroom proud as ever. 1) because it's a good scene for a tiny bit of gay panic, but i think its too early for martin to feel it for luciano naked on his lap (YET) but luciano can be turning his face like uRGH he's handsome and he's hot i see his brain melted down and and went to those shoulders apparently also when sebastian asks why he's naked he just goes 'oh luciano told me to get naked before going into the magic shower' and Sebastian is like..... okay...... i did not need to know that. But okay, misunderstandings apart, sebastian will see what he can do meanwhile luciano watches over martin.

Pulling from memory, in the movie, the first day giselle and patrick spend together, he takes her to his work to ask for his secretary to find some information, she talks to his divorce clients about how they must be in love, patrick gives up on her and gives her some money to go away, sees she can't be on her own, and then the iconic How Does She Know scene. I think we can start on a similar place, with luciano taking martin to his workplace (its not like he'd let him alone on his apartmnet to destroy everything) and asks his secretary to try to find the kingdom he says he's from or any other lead. Martin, however, doesnt entertain this much and waltz way a little after - he's a prince afterall, he doesnt need to tell luciano where he's going.

I say that might happen right after he talks to luciano's clients in a moment he's not around. He goes to them, tells the lady she's very beautiful and that man who loves her must be very happy which yk seems very much like flirting but she's having none of it and is about to tell him to fuck off, when he sees her future husbandn't and starts talking about him too, about how he looks strong and brave like the knights of his kingdom etc etc, and in the middle of his own speech talks about his beloved princess and how in love the two are and then its like wait!!! what am i doing here!!! i must find her immediately i cannot afford these long rests!! so long!!!! leaving the clients very confused and angry at luciano, and him very distressed because great martin escaped AGAIN

So he goes after him and thankfully he's not that far, though i wouldnt be surprised if he's already in trouble again, either in a fight or just falling for some scam of someone trying to take his information or his money (which well its not like he has any either way) and luciano has to rescue him again. I say maybe instead of telling him to fuck off he considers talking to the authorities, certainly they can handle him better than a random lawyer with too much on his plate as it is, but they get distracted half way.

I'm finding trouble fitting the How Does She Know number (though a more prince-ly one instead of princess-ly), though i think martin starting a big musical number in the middle of the Ibirapuera is too good of a scene to miss. But without a Nancy on the story i can't how we'd pull it off. But besides the iconic-ness of it all, i also think its time to confront more directly their ideas of love and intimacy. It's also on this scene where we see patrick's mind starting to change about giselle, with him humming along the song and smiling and ultimately deciding not to leaver her alone and continue helping her.

Another possibility i thought is transferring the number to María and make that the moment they find each other again, but move it way later in the story of course. I dont find it a great solution because again, iconic scene, but it is .... an alternative.

that aside, let's move from the point luciano decides not to take martin to the authorities but instead help him himself. This has mostly comedic potential but also needs to help moving their relationship, foward, their understanding of each other and etc. So, i'll leave it to you to elaborate how you see that going :D

@oxiosa and I are out of control in this Enchanted AU and our first post is already too big. It’s mostly detailing the fairy tale, and you can read it here if for some reason you keep up with our chaotic brainstorming.

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