#my stupid fucking ex

[winterstaryu]

You know what??? It's fucking time. Let me tell y'all about my fucking ex.

Buckle up chuckle fucks.

So when I was 18 and fucking stupid, I started dating a co-worker, we'll call her Luna bc that was her cat's name. We dated like 6 months, and she was out of town and unreachable for like, 3 of those.

During that time, this guy, we'll call him fucker, bc I'm too tired to think of another name and it's fitting. Started working at our workplace. He was funny, he was also in a relationship, we hit it off.

Long story very short, his girlfriend left him for ANOTHER one of our coworkers, and then left /him/ for his best friend. Really tore up our dnd group.

At around the same time, I broke up with Luna, the reason isn't important, we were very different people.

Then. My mom gets diagnosed with terminal cancer, and needless to say, my entire fucking world upends. I'm a wreak, and Fucker is /nice/ and funny and there for me and isn't mean to me when I have panic attacks which. Should be a lower bar than it fucking is.

So anyway, we start dating. Eventually, we get new management at work, and it sucks, so I leave. Turn in my two weeks and get a new job. My mom's condition is steadily worsening, and with it, my mental health. My time is being split between caring for her, working full time, and managing the emotions of my shitty ass boyfriend who doesn't own salt and has never processed his emotions a day in his life.

Did I mention he's five years older than me???

So we date for a tumultuous year and a half, and it's Hard, but relationships are supposed to be hard, right? We fight all the time but I just need to work harder to communicate, and he just needs to learn to Manage His Anger.

Anyway, shitty management is Still Shitty. And despite my hesitations, he convinces me to get him a job where I work. Pay attention, this'll become a theme.

Anyway, it's like. /fine/ he's weirdly bossy despite working there way less than I have, and me literally being trained for management, but he's just particular, and a new workplace is always an adjustment, right?

Then. The pandemic hits.

First things first, he falls for a fucking internet scam, because his technical know-how falls short of my 85 y/o grandfather's. He loses FOUR. HUNDRED. DOLLARS. And I pay his rent.

Then, I faint at work, end up in the ER, and while they don't find anything serious I'm laid up in bed, too weak to fucking move and in more pain than I've ever felt in my life.

He tells me, to my face, that he can't tell if I'm lying, he does not believe me, and everything I'm doing reminds me of his abusive mother.

I spend the next few months busting my ass, doing online delivers, applying to every job I can find and having no luck.

Then. My mom dies.

I don't remember anything for about a month after that. Just, little snippets here and there. But I do remember after, when I tried to explain to him that losing my mom to cancer during a global pandemic was something I may never get over, that 6 months was not enough time, that I couldn't just. /be okay/ after that. Even after getting my job back, and my dad remarrying, God ESPECIALLY bc my dad remarried so quick, I'm just, still processing (friends it's been 4 years and I am still processing, again, I am not sure I will EVER get over that)

Eventually, we move in together. He finally, after years of pleading, gets a job with insurance, a job that pays well, not so much I can stop working, but there's room for growth, it's a good company, as big companies go these days, and he likes it.

He loses his job within 6 months. I have to pay rent for both of us, plus utilities. This plunges me further into debt, he insists I am just not good at budgeting, I hate talking about budgeting but anytime we DO talk it is always about my spending, my streaming services, my little chocolates, oh. And my medications, which he at least believes I actually /need/ at this point.

I am begging him, everyday to find a new job, /any job/ because my health issues are coming back and I feel like I'm dying slowly.

I end up getting him a job where I work. Again.

This is when the drinking starts. At first, it is subtle. He gets very annoyed when he drinks, nitpicky. He insists he is just technical.

I decide to stop drinking with him, bc it doesn't interact well with my medication and secretly, because I'm hoping if I stop, he'll drink less. He doesn't.

The first night it's because of a sandwich. He tells me he is Too Tipsy (read: shitfaced) to come downstairs, and he asks me to make him a sandwich. I say no, I tell him it's because I just got home from work, and I am tired and I don't want to. He says nothing. But 20 minutes later he drags himself downstairs, sees me playing stardew valley and starts yelling (sorry, raising his voice, bc when he does its raising his voice but when I do it I'm screaming), about how I'm doing fucking nothing, and if I'm doing fucking nothing, why couldn't I have just Made Him a Sandwich. It's ridiculous, it sounds fucking made up. It makes me start keeping track of our arguments.

The next time, it's because he offered to help our my brother (our roommate) with the dishes. "Just tell me when you need help" he said, "anytime"

Of course, 'anytime' conflicted with his nightly 12 pack. Yes. 12.

So one night, he gets drunk. I get home from work at 9PM and he is already 4 drinks in. I have worked 2 miles home in the cold, after working for 6 hours, I'm exhausted, all I want is to curl into bed and watch Supernatural until I fall asleep.

At around oh, 2 in the morning, I've finally wound down enough to sleep, and he asks me to come downstairs and help him load the dishwasher bc he is Too Drunk. I say no, he agreed to help with this chore, he's responsible for getting it done (and making sure he's fucking sober enough to do it) he. Starts. Screaming. Cussing me up and down, he calls me a bitch, and a mother fucker, when I tell him he is scaring me, he moves into a more intimidating position and tell me He Knows and he Doesn't Care. I pick up my bedding and go to sleep on the couch. He immediately feels guilty and back tracks.

The next day I tell him the drinking needs to get under control, he can't treat me like that. Spoiler alert: the drinking does not get under control and this keeps. Happening. Eventually, there is a stack of empty beer boxes me and our other roommates refer to as 'beer mountain' I am avoiding him as much as possible, and one day I realize that coming home is the worst part of my day.

But it takes another 6 months. Until one night, he is drinking heavily, his attitude is reminding me of That Night and I am begging and pleading with him to just /eat something/ to sober up even a little because he is starting to scare me. It takes an hour to convince him to eat something other than hot cheetos, and when he finally does, he calls me a paranoid jerk.

And I snap. I start recording our conversation and I ask him to repeat himself. I tell myself I'll replay this recording in the morning, so I can remind myself that is WAS that bad, that what he was saying wasn't okay. That this time I wasn't being paranoid and it is NOT my anxiety making me feel this way. It's/him/.

I tell him it's over and he begs, he pleads for me to change my mind and when I make it clear I won't, he shuts down. For someone who always got angry with me for 'being robotic' when I was trying to regulate during an argument, he certainly gets cold quick.

He spends the next for months making himself the martyr. He asks to sleep in the walk-in closet instead of on the couch, and then complains about back pain.

He leaves cups full of soda and bowls of Ramen on my furniture for days, but goes on about how 'he does all the cleaning' anytime I bring it up. When I finally snap and start dismantling 'beer mountain' which is my height, at this point, and snap (tbf, not kindly bc I was fucking done at this point) at him to help, he starts cussing me out again. Saying that this Mess is both of ours, saying that 'he gets it' because No One ever taught me to clean as a kid (I was fucking. Neglected.) He goes on about how my siblings are Just Like me, implies that it is my fault. You know, for not raising them better at fucking 8.

All I can think about is when we cleared out his old room when we moved in together, the carpet was MOLDY, and there were several bottles of piss lying around. I am a messy person, but my space is almost always Clean, if dusty and cluttered.

He tells our roommates and I weeks later that he doesn't understand why we broke up, that I 'just gave up on us, I guess', and. Yeah. I guess I did.

We still worked together. Until today. We will still live together until February 5th.

But so soon, so very fucking soon, I will be /free/

[nestedfeathers]

i know i said i wasn't a BillFord shipper... but... its growing on me...

[so-very-small]

I’m not the hot young g/t protagonist. I’m the jaded elderly tiny village leader who staunchly forbids all the villagers to ever interact with giants and people think it’s for safety or because I’m a huge grouch but it’s actually because years ago I had my heart broken in a whirlwind romance with a tall dashing giant and now I can’t bear to see any of my people go through that pain. Also we still all live in my giant ex’s backyard and sabotage his garden yearly. Fuck that guy.

[3-aem]

im bored of animal crossing will be drawing gj again will be mental illness-ing once more.

[apostate-in-an-alcove]

Christians will unironically be like: "We have moral standards 😌💅." Yeah, so does literally everyone else you stupid twats, you're not special.

[writterings]

the thing they don't tell you about most mlm romance books is that they fucking suck ass

[irregularbillcipher]

the "paul is richie's uncle" headcanon is really cute but i really love it in tandem with the idea that ted is surprisingly involved in his little brother's life while paul is more just vaguely fond of his nephew, but doesn't really know all that much about his friends or his day-to-day life

like, the idea of ted knowing all his geeky little brother's friends really well, like letting them chill in his apartment every now and then to watch movies or driving them home when they have their stupid library study sessions or whatever is already pretty fun, just the idea that the Local Bastard has accidentally and begrudgingly been saddled with these two loser highschoolers because they're his little brother's dweebus friends that he doesn't want to admit he has a soft spot for, but it's made doubly funny if paul just has no idea that his nephew's best friend is the little brother of the Worst Guy In His Office. ted comes over to paul's desk one day with a stack of dog-eared manga like "pete forgot to take these this morning, so you give 'em back to richie for me, okay? also, ruth's right, stein and spirit are definitely fucking and i want him to stop fighting with her about it when i pick 'em up from the library" and paul is just like. okay. i have several questions about this.

[archivistprotocol]

*slams into the room with all the grace of a baby and knocks shit off the tables, sending the red string board flying*

forget that relationship tension for a second (dw, i'm Thinking About It). SAM. PUT THE FORMS DOWN. and for the love of everything holy and good, DO NOT GO TO THE MAGNUS INSTITUTE RUINS. you wanna be the next redcanary??? that's where you're fucking headed, buddy. i know the saying is "curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought it back," but in this case, there ain't nothin' to be satisfied about when it comes to exploring some ol' spooky ruins that are gonna grab you by the feet and drag you further in until you don't know if you're you anymore, or some unwilling servant to a gluttonous, knowledge-seeking eldritch horror. or, you know, you end up dead. there's that. sam. my man. put the forms down, stay the FUCK away from the magnus institute, and figure your shit out with celia and alice because i swear to the unholy eldritch horrors that if you hurt alice in your ill-advised crusade to unravel your past and the secrets of the magnus institute, something worse than a tunnel goblin gouging your eyes out is coming your way.

[opiumvampire]

im not allowed to be a vegetarian anymore for medical reasons so we’ve had meat in the house for the first time since we’ve had cats and every second is a fight for my life i just pulled Annie’s face out of a bowl of potato bacon soup. she’s a monster. she’s going to kill me soon i can feel it

[mapsofnonexistentplaces]

really don’t trust artfight devs at all but i am considering just putting my characters up during the season if anyone wants to draw them. not gonna be too pressed about returning things immediately but eh

[altschmerzes]

oh i did start watching slow horses by the way @ whoever that anon was. my brain has been Scrambled.

[dootznbootz]

I literally will think of the stupidest shit and if it makes me giggle, it's "canon" now. It just is. Idk why I keep doing this.

[cupiare]

#jobless again today but i found a shoe rack someone threw away and turned it into shelf for everything that doesn’t fit on my nightstand (also picked up from the curb) + gay salad of the day

[mellotronmkll]

My partner who is a casual tmbg fan but on account of living with me is exposed to a constant torrent of their music at all times has listed these five songs as his all time favorite they might be giants songs and its just like a fascinating selection to me

[a-gay-bloodmage]

One of my favorite hobbies to engage in is ignoring the canon course of video game romances

[i-am-a-hog]

Me then: cute, colourful hair, swagful outfits, skinny, selfies get 200+ notes pretty regularly

Me now: cute, colourful hair, swagful outfits, thicc and wide, twice as many followers, selfies get under 20 notes pretty regularly