#because I’m not just upset for me but also yes it does pertain to me and I’d care even if it didn’t

[caught-in-the-filter]

Feeling some type of way about the SAer among other things winning AGAIN, and FL’s reproductive rights amendment not passing even with the majority vote wanting it.

It’s not just about abortion. It’s never just about abortion. It’s about healthcare and basic human rights.

It’s about my first ever gynecology appointment, with a female gynecologist because I’d thought that would be both “safer” and “purer” than letting a man see and touch me “down there” unwed even in a medical setting. It’s about the fact that she didn’t believe I was a virgin in my early twenties. It’s about the fact that my mom, thank god she was there, had to insist more than once on a pediatric speculum on my behalf before the doctor finally listened and switched it, because I didn’t know there were different sizes they could use. It’s about the fact that the doctor didn’t listen when I fucking *begged* her to be patient and go slower because the speculum hurt so badly because I’d never had anything inside me before. It’s about the fact that I had to pretend I was fine when I stood up from that uncomfortable table-seat afterwards and realized she’d made me bleed. It’s about the fact that all my life I was told I’d go to hell for something like that, that even a medical procedure could make me somehow “impure” because it broke something inside me even out of necessity. It’s about the fact that I had to quietly panic-research “hymen” and how that even works because we are not taught our own anatomy in school because it and our mere existence is “inappropriate.” It’s about the fact that even the somewhat neutral resources I found contradicted each other, so I still don’t fully understand my own body or what actually happened that day when I bled.

It’s about the fact that raising concerns about excessive menstrual bleeding and painful cramps resulted in the doctor asking simply, “Do you want birth control or ibuprofen?” It’s about the fact that growing up in conservative churches made it clear that abstinence was the only way to live out of wedlock, and the best and purest form of birth control, that taking anything for it meant I had sexual intentions, which would mean I was going to hell for being a whore even if they couldn’t physically stone me to death for it anymore then. It’s about the fact that my only options are to fuck with my hormones and cycle in hopes it helps a little, or give myself future stomach ulcers I didn’t know then could be a side effect of NSAIDs. It’s about the fact that I have to pop that ibuprofen like candy anyway so I don’t feel like I’m dying for at least a week every month. It’s about the fact that so many with even worse complications than me need a non-existent future husband’s *permission* to be able to get hysterectomies even when it’s 100% necessary, because some hypothetical man that doesn’t exist has more say over her body and what it endures than she does.

It’s about the fact that my mom’s doctors ignored her uterine fibroids until they were so big that her uterus was fused to her bladder and she was bleeding so heavily and irregularly until someone finally listened and didn’t just say, “Lose weight,” which is a whole other degrading issue. It’s about the fact that her previous doctor *knew* about the fibroids and didn’t tell my mom, just gave her a passing, “Oh, they got even bigger?” in the office to her surprise, when it was too late to do the minimally-invasive laparoscopic version of the procedure which they could have done if he’d mentioned them sooner. It’s about the fact that she’d already had two kids and a miscarriage in-between and a tubal ligation, and her doctors still ignored her medical needs for years. It’s about the fact that her surgery was years ago and things have only gotten worse. It’s about the fact that as my cramps and bleeding only get worse, as ibuprofen hurts more than it helps, I’m afraid to start birth control only for the chance it could be taken away completely. It’s about the fact that I’m afraid to *not* be on birth control because rapists get congratulations and powerful offices and applause, but I’d get sent to jail or sent to my death with the consequences of their actions. It’s about the fact that I don’t know if I could find a doctor who would sterilize me by my own choice. It’s about the fact that I can’t afford, nor afford to take time off work for, an invasive surgery I shouldn’t have to endure just to keep myself safe.

It’s about the fact that every fucking day, all day, Hims and Viagra and however many other erectile disfunction ads are broadcast in every medium “for better performance in bed.” It’s about the fact that I am expected and required to not want anything to do with any performance in bed, while simultaneously expected to take it with a smile if a man wants it of me. It’s about the fact that in either case, I am the only one who’s considered impure. It’s about the fact that merely wearing shorts in an increasingly hotter climate is seen as “asking for it” but wearing full coverage in spite of it is seen as “needing to lighten up.” It’s about the fact that even if I were married and procreating on purpose and did every single thing The Right Way, but “God decided it wasn’t my time to have a child,” that we would both be left to bleed to death, that I would be left to bleed to death in my grief when at least I could be saved. It’s about the fact that that’s not an exaggeration and is happening all over the US because doctors are either restricted or afraid or agree with the bans themselves.

It’s about the fact that it’s not just about me, but the response to my outrage and grief is, “Why do you care if you’re not having sex? You’re not planning to need an abortion anyway, right?” It’s about the fact that yes it still very fucking much is about me, and about you, and about the people in your life you at least pretend to or think you care about. And it’s about the fact that we need to frame it as “your daughters, your wives, etc.” because you can’t possibly be expected to care about anyone you don’t already think you own and/or anyone outside your immediate periphery beyond “sending thoughts and prayers” when the system you praise and kill for is the root of the problem. It’s about the fact that even then, so many of you would rather see you’re so-called loved ones dead too than see them not conforming to your hypocritical ideas of perfection and righteousness. It’s about the fact that you think that’s somehow better and destined and even merciful. It’s about the fact that you think all this death is somehow “pro-life” or simply write it off as collateral damage like it’s their fault. And it’s about the fact that you can’t even see just how misguided and horrible you are through those pretty stained glass windows. I know, I lived inside them too, I believed you that we were being good and doing the right thing and thinking the right way too, I hadn’t actually read the book we were hitting people with then myself yet either, but then I grew up and learned what you really mean, what any of it really means, and that that book is a weapon wielded for power and to enforce compliance in a corrupt system masquerading as holy. I pity you, I pity me, I pity all of us. But I am *enraged* on behalf of the people who have already suffered and lost so much because we live in a world that refuses to see women first and foremost as human, and refuses to see humans beyond our own selves as deserving of the most basic decency and autonomy.

[cartelheir]

@newyorksrose

“Oh - okay!”

With a furrowed brow and tiny frown, the first thing Rosaria felt was apprehension. It didn't feel right;  Sofia's tone, approach, the near-emptiness of the Ilyaev Insurance Agency. Words that will bring her discomfort are on the horizon, she can feel it.

Of course, much of this apprehension stems from the fact Rosaria does not know what to make of Sofia Brancato. She's something of an anomaly. Always around Mr. Valchitski, but never running with a hefty stack of paper or picking up the phone directing phone calls. Then, due to a situation that occurred earlier in the week, Rosaria now knows (with great discomfort) that Sofia and Mr. Valchitski are sex partners. It was surprising, partially because Mr. Valchitski seemed like he would have had a wife and partially because said sex took place in his office.

How Rosaria's skin crawls at the memory of her bosses' deep, throaty groan. How Rosaria yearns to bleach and scrub her brain to rid it of the moment that the illusion of Mr. Valchitski being asexual was tarnished.

Oh no!! Speeding like a car with cut brakes, it hit Rosaria there were numerous times in the office where Mr. Valchitski analyzed her attire, which meant that he looked at her body. The idea of her cold boss being sexually attracted to her never crossed her mind. Until now she felt perversion was meant to be known from brazen, over-the-top gestures. The idea of his perversion being subtle is now so incredibly alarming.

Men in power like to experiment sexually, don’t they? Rosaria is swift to answer her internal question - Yes, yes they do. They like things like threesomes, orgies - okay, Rosaria thinks that’s definitely what Sofia is standing here for. The memory of them looking at her after they were discovered in the act hangs over her.

One side of Rosaria thinks it’s time she get a new job. The other side of her thinks she’s not going back to Bensonhurst. But either way, at the forefront of Rosaria’s mind is standing up to Sofia and putting an immediate end to any sexual fantasies she and Mr. Valchitski share.

“First though, I have to say -” she forcefully interrupts before Sofia could even speak, “I know that you know that I’m aware of what, um…happened in Mr. Valchitski’s office and I have no plans to gossip at all. I don’t have anyone to tell that to, actually. I just moved here this year. And aside from that, what happens between two consenting adults is absolutely, a hundred percent, none of my business. Also! I wasn’t feeling any…” pause, “arousal, at what I overheard. It actually made me very uncomfortable because I’ve never even THOUGHT of Mr. Valchitski in that way. So if he ever asks you if I would be interested in threesomes o-or sharing him on particular days, I’m just not interested.” With that said, Rosaria gives a little shake of her hands.

“But um, what were you going to say?” 

PAT TRIES VERY,   VERY  HARD  to keep her face neutral as rosaria talks.     talks and talks and  talks,   long after she should’ve stopped.     despite her best efforts,  she fails as rosaria jumps to the worst assumptions,  her eyebrows occasionally creasing or raising in a myriad of emotions   ━━   confusion,  surprise,  disgust,  offense.

❝    and what makes you think  i’d  be interested?     i’m not a  sharing  kind of person.    ❞      she hadn’t meant to sound quite so  territorial.     it’s not as if her relationship with grigori is  exclusive   ━   or,  at least,  they hadn’t established it as such   ━,   but she instantly hates the idea of inviting another woman to join them.     even pertaining to other women he might sleep with aside from her,  pat would rather not know details.     she tells herself she wouldn’t be upset about it if she found out about someone else,  but she knows right away it’s a lie.

jealousy aside,   what sparks her annoyance is how rosaria makes this moment even  more  embarrassing than it already was by instantly assuming they’re after some big sex fantasy.     pat taps her nails on top of the desk,   still processing the information.

❝    i was  going  to apologize for how unprofessional it was.     and ask you to keep this between us,  but you already covered that.     did you come up with any other wild fantasies you’d like to share?    ❞

[thisisyourprincipalspeaking]

Yes, there is a certain person you just reblogged that makes me LOL because their extreme lapse of logic projected by their butthurtedness over the marriage of an actor is laughable at times, sad at other.

This isn’t even to make fun of them. It’s concerning and embarrassing. They don’t think they’re out of line or out of touch either. (Truly problematic people never think they’re the problem tho)

Also, I really don’t appreciate the endless trashing of movies that haven’t even come out yet. This is insulting to all the others who worked on the film and weren’t involved in controversial marriages.

I’m glad you called this person out because it needs to be said. Screaming into the void is fine, everyone is I guess, entitled to their opinions no matter how wrong, but what’s not fine is going to every blog to post their asinine rants while some people just want to be able to enjoy what’s left of their fandom.

I was getting really really sick of seeing this person on virtually every post pertaining to the subject at hand and it’s always full of screaming vitriol. How does this make them look any better than the persons they’re so upset and angry at?

Pot - kettle.

it’s too much. some of these people should get their blood pressure checked before they stroke out from all the yelling.

[flautistsandpeonies]

Wei WuXian Does NOT have a Hero Complex

Defined by Laura Berman Fortgang, a heroic complex is a phenomenon affecting people who seek heroism or recognition, usually by creating a desperate situation which they can resolve and subsequently receive the accolades from. This can include unlawful acts, such as arson and attempted murder.

If you paid attention at any point in the story, you would realize that Wei WuXian does not care about the opinion of others and also does not seek praise.

"There’s no need, there’s no need. There’s a problem with me that I’m unable to stand it when others thank me, especially when people like you thank me so seriously. It’s so creepy that I’m even getting goosebumps. Kneeling worship, of course, is even more so unnecessary.” - Wei WuXian to Lan WangJi, Xuanwu Cave

“But, let the self judge the right and the wrong, let others decide to praise or blame, let gains and losses remain uncommented on.” - Wei WuXian to Lan WangJi, Burial Mounds

There are three characters in the book that claim Wei WuXian has a heroic complex:

Yu ZiYuan: A woman who has spent eight years whipping Wei WuXian with an electrified whip, locked him in the ancestral hall for hours on end, claiming his dead mother cheated on his father with her husband, claimed her husband favored him and loved him more than her son, and later blames the fall of the sect of him despite it not being his fault.

Jiang Cheng: Believes Wei WuXian should have left their peers be murdered in a cave and gets upset when his father scolds him for this belief and later hits Wei WuXian because of it, blames the fall of the sect on Wei WuXian and strangles him twice despite acknowledging it wasn’t it his fault, accuses him of having a heroic complex right before demanding he hand the refugees he just saved over to be killed, joins the pledge conference at Nightless City, and leads the siege to kill Wei WuXian and the refugees under his protection.

A Unnamed Man: A cultivator says this at Nightless City.

None of these characters are reliable sources; they are all shown to be biased towards this character so their words cannot be taken as fact. In fact, the narrative goes on to disprove these characters almost immediately, such as when Madam Yu claims that Wen Chao wouldn’t have killed Lan WangJi and Jin ZiXuan, the narrative immediately states that her assessment is totally incorrect.

...

Let’s go into detail about the two scenes fandom claims shows Wei WuXian has a Heroic Complex.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

XuanWu Cave:

I know I’ve written two different posts pertaining to this scene already, but what’s a third time?

Ask yourselves, should Wei WuXian have just left the Lan and Jin disciples- that would be forty people in all- be killed by Wen Chao’s men? If by some chance you believe the answer is “yes”, why did they deserve to die? Because they wouldn’t let a girl be strung up and used for bait because of Wen Chao’s jealous mistress? In your eyes, did Luo Qingyang deserve to die because Wen Chao found her attractive and Wang LingJiao got jealous?

Is it not a smart idea for Wei WuXian to take Wen Chao, the leader of the group holding them hostage and one of the heirs to the Wen Sect as his prisoner? This move got Wen Zhuliu, the fearsome Core Melting Hand, to stand down with just a couple words. Wen Ruohan’s men would not move with one of their heirs in mortal danger. At that point, the other sects had the advantage.

Furthermore, no one could have known the Xuanwu of Slaughter was there. It isn’t as if someone summoned the creature into their midst, and holding this unforeseen/improbable happenstance against a teenager that’s trying to keep himself and his peers alive is ludicrous.

Should Wei WuXian have allowed Luo Qingyang’s face to be burnt by Wang LingJiao? Should Mianmian have had half of her face burnt off and lost an eye because Wen Chao’s mistress wanted to harm her?

Should Wei WuXian not have tried to find an exit? Should they have been content sitting trapped in cave with a murderous beast? There was no one coming to help them, all their elders thought they were still in the indoctrination and it isn’t like the Wens would have told them about the incident.

Finally, Wei WuXian did not intend to get trapped with Lan WangJi. He was preparing to try and follow the group out when Su Minshan shot him in the arm with an arrow. The smell of blood drew the XuanWu to him and Lan WangJi jumped in to save him.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Qiongqi Path Part 1:

I have also written a little bit about this but, I digress.

Wei WuXian did not save the Wen remnants because he wanted to look like a hero. The Wens were hated by everyone, no one cared if they died or how they died; they weren’t even seen as human beings anymore. If Wei WuXian wanted praise he would’ve told the overseers how to torture them more; hell, he wouldn’t have gone to the Flower Banquet in the first place or turned Wen Qing in.

Saving the Wens is the start of Wei WuXian’s exile from the cultivation world. He’s forced to leave his sect and take up residence in the Burial Mounds, using a corpse barrier to keep himself and his charges safe. Rumors start spreading that he’s kidnapping and r*ping women, eating infants, and cursing people and their livelihoods. This one single act destroyed what little reputation he had left after the war, so how could you say he was looking for praise or trying to seem like a hero?

...

The idea that Wei WuXian searches for praise is a complete misrepresentation of his character. The idea that he has a heroic complex is the culmination of picking certain lines from the text and ignoring others.

Wei WuXian has been showed multiples times throughout the story to save others, not because he wants to be in the limelight or be seen as some great cultivator/hero/warrior, but because helping people is the right thing to do.

We don’t say that characters who do things like that have a “Heroic Complex”.

We call them heros.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jiang Cheng Stans & Yu ZiYuan Stans Don’t Clown on my Posts

[writingbywatson]

Genshin Boys With A Dense Crush (Part 2)

Here is part 2~ so, the reason why I didn't include Bennett and Razor is the fact that I can never write for them, like IDK why but its just very hard for me. So yeah, sorry about that. Part 1 (Albedo, Childe and Diluc)

Chongyun

Dense + Dense = more dense

It was painfully obvious that Chongyun likes you but for some reason, he can’t quite figure that out for himself

But everyone around them knows

Xingqiu is actually on the road to writing a book about the two of you

Xiangling, Xinyan, Hu Tao, and Yan Fei are betting on how long until Chongyun realizes his feelings

Chongyun doesn’t know why he likes to see you every day, wants to have meals with you, and why he gets uncomfortable when he sees you with another person and smiling at them

Maybe it was the work of g-

“Oh I like them” -Chongyun one day when he woke up

He consulted his best friend Xingqiu about this and Xingqiu just placed his books down and said “dear archons finally, it was getting very painful to watch”

So the two started planning a cute little confession scenario

Somewhere Xinyan and Yan Fei are crying because they lost the best but Yan Fei is arguing that betting was illegal and has no ground in the law… Yan Fei, you betted with your conscience please stop

Anyway!

The pair of best friends decided to go with a simple type of confession because less is more in Xingqiu’s books

It was going so well, a cute dinner and all of that

“I like you Y/N, can we be more than that?”

Oh is that Xingqiu, Xiangling, Xinyan, Hu Tao, and Yan Fei spying on both of you from the bushes? Why, yes indeed.

“You want to be best friends Chongyun? But don’t you have Xingqiu as your best friend already?” - you with your ever so innocent voice and expression

Chongyun is frozen in place

Xingqiu, Xiangling, Xinyan, Hu Tao and Yan Fei are betting again this time how many times will Chongyun get a friendzone

Kaeya

Someone revive him

He can’t take your dense nature anymore

This is Kaeya after all everything he does allude to something so WHY WON'T YOU GET IT STILL

“Oh, Kaeya? You like someone!? Can you introduce me to them?” - you asking excitedly upon hearing his and Rosaria’s conversation

Kaeya was pretty sure he was describing you

Rosaria is holding back her laugh, she can't breathe… SOMEONE SAVE HER

“I love them but this dense attitude is too much!” - Kaeya as he slams his fist on top of Diluc’s bar

“Have you tried wooing them?” - Diluc as his wiping a glass down, he's so nonchalant about this situation LMAO

“HAVE I TRIED?” - Kaeya sounding very offended

“How about getting a white bed sheet and painting “will you marry me Y/N” on it?” - Rosaria

“Yeah, they leave me no ch-”

“Sit down, don’t embarrass yourself like a child” - Diluc pushing his brother down to sit

“HOW WILL I GET MY FEELINGS ACROSS THOUGH!”

“Just confess, normally… like… a normal person” - Diluc

Kaeya decided that in two days time he was going to confess to you, two days because he needed to make sure it was perfect

But the moment he saw you laughing with some random guy all the planning was thrown out the window

“Meet me in front of the church when the sun rises” - Kaeya to you when he passes by you at the corridor of the headquarters

When you arrived, he made you stand at the flight of stairs in front of the church while he went down

He kneeled with his right knee touching the ground and he pulled a very neatly folded white sheet from his pocket

He unraveled it and wrote, “WILL YOU MARRY ME Y/N?”

But even before you can react a thunderous shouting can be heard and a chuckle

“WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!? I SAID CONFESS NORMALLY!” -Diluc

Thoma

I’m going to try but still little info on this new pyro husband

Thoma is a very understanding boy

He likes you so much that he's willing to wait

But damn has he been waiting long

He decided he was going to confess to you today as well!

“Y/N! I like you!” - Thoma

“I like you too! You are like my best friend!” - you

Every time this happens Thoma stress eats.

Ayaka is giggling because he has never seen her friend like this

He's trying his best for you to like him, he cooks for you, takes care of you, guards you, protects you…

WHAT IS HE DOING WRONG!?

“You know the festival is ongoing” -Ayato as he watches his sister’s friend mop around like a puppy who has been kicked. “Why don’t you try confessing properly and straight-forwardly there?”

That gave him an idea

He dragged to the talisman-wishing thing and told you that you two should make one

When the both of you were done, you should each other what you made and to your surprise, Thoma made a drawing of the both of you holding hands

“It’s not us being best friends forever” - he clarified

“It’s me hoping to spend many more years beside you as your lover.”

Venti

Barbatos aka Venti the Bard has been singing a lot of love songs lately

Especially when you were in the audience watching

He always likes your smile especially when you were watching him

So when the two of you were strolling around near the church of Monstad

He decided that he was going to confess today

Years of being alone and he finally get what Vanessa told him about meeting the right person

“Y/N, I love you-”

“Aww, Venti, I love you too!”

“Really?!” - Venti very excitedly

“Yeah! I love you as a friend! We’re like besties!”

Dvalin felt that

Andrius felt that

Hell even Vanessa felt that from Celestia

“Oh I got to go, bestie, I have something to do! See you tomorrow!”

Lately, the winds of Monstad have been depressing?

“I don’t understand! I thought they liked me back!” Venti his chugging his alcohol while Diluc looked at him in irritation

Diluc wants to kick him out but Venti is Monstad’s archon so he decided against it

“Venti! There you are!” - you

Venti hears your voice and because his drunk his happy instead of upset

He throws himself at you in an attempt of a sloppy hug

“Y/N! I love you~”

“I love you too, we are fr-”

“NO! I LOVE YOU LIKE A SIGNIFICANT OTHER I LOVE YOU! THAT TYPE OF LOVE THAT IF YOU ASK ME TO FIGHT MORAX I WOULD!”

Xiao

When Xiao first had these feelings he was confused

He lived a long life and this was the first time in his life where when he sees someone his chest becomes constricted and warm

“Xiao! Do you like traveler!?” - you excitedly

Xiao felt a tightening in his chest not that good type but am i being stab right now type of tightening

His answer would usually be along the lines of no and he can’t have relationships with mortals

He usually has a lot more patience with you compared to others but hearing you say that he looks good with someone else just made something in him snap

He didn’t mean to shout at you nor did he mean it when he said you should leave him alone

That’s why he's waiting for you at Wangshun Inn, his loneliness grew into worry when after 2 days you weren’t back yet

Upon eavesdropping around he also found out that no one has seen you and your last known location was Mt. Hulao and he immediately began to worry because that place was prohibited to humans

“Are you looking for someone?” - Mountain Sharper appeared behind Xiao as he reached the top of Mt. Hulao. “Are you looking for a mortal perhaps?”

“How did-”

“-That mortal is pretty noisy, they don’t stop talking and they know you.”

Oh, the warm feeling in his chest is back because they were talking about him which means that they weren’t angry at him!

“Where are they!?” Xiao would realize and I swear to you his ready to break every amber rock around Mt.Hulao

“Calm down, they are currently collecting Qingxin flowers”

Right on cue, “XIAO!? IS THAT YOU!?” he heard your voice from behind him, when he saw you, he immediately rushes to you and hugs you

“What are you doing here!?” Xiao would ask, his voice was raised only because of relief

“Oh, I got lost! And Moon Sharper here saw me, we ended up chatting and I guess I forgot the time, he shared so many stories about y- WHY DO YOU LOOK LIKE THAT ARE YOU HURT!?”

“I’m alright… I just… I m-miss…”

Moon Sharper is just looking at this scene and he knows he's about to spill the hottest tea next time the adeptus (idk plural form okay) have a dinner party

Xingqiu

At first glance, it might look like that he isn’t affected at all

But internal his boiling

WHY WERE YOU SO DENSE

IF IT WEREN’T FOR HIS CLAN'S TEACHING AND WHAT NOT HIS PROBABLY ABOUT TO ASK YOU FOR A FIGHT

“You’ll make a great husband someday Xingqiu, I know it! Your future wife would be so happy!”

“I want you to be my wife though”

“What was that?”

“NOTHING!”

He knows he needs to move so he can win your heart but how can he when you were dodging every advance he makes

What is more frustrating is that YOU ARE NOT EVEN DOING IT ON PURPOSE

As an author he wants to experience romance first hand, so he tries to be romantic about it but this was frustrating

He decided to pull his last technique from his sleeves

He lent you a very romantic book and between one of the pages he inserted a paper that read “I wish for you to be my muse.”

If that doesn’t work Xingqiu is going to ask you to fight him

Zhongli

Zhongli, Rex Lapis aka Morax has lived thousands of years

Yet this is the first time he encountered someone so dense at first he taught you were just kidding and pretending but when he described what he likes in someone which was pertaining to you

You simply said “WOW THEY SOUND WONDERFUL AND YOU MUST REALLY LIKE THEM BECAUSE YOU SOUND SO IN LOVE” at his face with genuine awe, there was no sign of you being flustered and whatnot

Hu Tao was there to witness this and the younger female had a good laugh when she witnessed this

Zhongli is now praying to Guizhong for help and patience

He first wondered if the reason for such behavior was because you dislike him but it wasn’t the case because you would always smile when you see him

Which makes his knees very weak

In heaven, all the dead gods are laughing at him

He has lived for so many years and yet he doesn’t know what to do because he wants to spend years with you

But a part of him says this isn’t right because his an immortal and you were a mortal, someday him being a former god would drive an enigma in the future

That’s why he was also hesitating on his part

“Zhongli, look-look! A merchant from Monstad gave me a Cecilia!” - you snapping him from his thought, he's a tall man so you had to tip-toe to put the flower in his hair

“There you look even prettier now!” - you smiling up to him

As you were withdrawing your hand, Zhongli grabs it and places it in front of his lips

“I love you Y/N”

[sugrbugz]

their reaction to you coming out as trans!! : BOKUTO, KENMA, AKAASHI, OIKAWA, TSUKKI, & ASAHI ♥︎

CW: this covers topics such as gender dysphoria, transphobia, and ignorant parents. please be safe my loves!!

transphobes get the fuck outta here right now

also i’m ftm myself so i’m writing from my own experience! if you want a non binary one or even mtf let me know! ♥︎

BOKUTO

would be so very excited to go clothing shopping with you but also giving you all of his hoodies in the mean time-

would love to show you off as his official boyfriend, would fight transphobic people for you

“hey bo, can we talk?” you asked softly, only causing him to open his arms wide from where he was sitting on your bed. you crawled into his lap like you always did, your hands shaking a bit when your wrapped your arms around his neck. “what’s up little owl!” he smiled wide, flashing you that beautiful smile of his. “it’s sorta serious love..” you mumbled making his smile fall only a bit, it falling completely when you started crying. “lovebug? what’s wrong..you can talk to me baby” he soothed making you nod. “i know we’ve talked about your preferences before and i don’t know where i fall but-�� you hiccuped, trying to figure out how to say it. “i’m transgender..i want to be a boy” you sobbed out, ultimately terrified he’d leave even though you knew he wouldn’t. “no..” he started making you cry only harder, not even three seconds later were calloused fingers there to wipe them, “you are a boy..not want, right baby?” he smiled softly, kissing your nose.

KENMA

his emotions would hurt him first only because he wouldn’t fully understand why you’re so upset

best hair stylist in the game!! he’d do your hair so you don’t have to deal with judgemental old ladies and weird barbers.

would 100000000/10 drop anything hes doing to snuggle you since he knows how much of a bitch dysphoria can be

it actually happened by accident. currently you were in the bathroom, shaky hands on a pair of scissors you’d found in the kitchen. it was one of those moments. you weren’t officially out to anybody, not even your boyfriend just simply out of fear of being disliked. however when kenma came to use the bathroom after doing a five hour livestream her heart almost shattered right then and there. you were too into your head to even notice his presence, snapping back to reality when he took the scissors from you. that’s when the tears started. he was quickly to pull you close, kissing your head. “i think i understand..but if i don’t, please explain..” he whispered softly into your ear. “i-i..” you stuttered, you didn’t even know how to say it. “i’ve been dealing with my gender for awhile and came to the conclusion that im a boy..” you sniff, snuggling into his chest since the comfort felt good. “okay baby, you’re still mine okay?” he spoke so soft it was reassuring. “but come to me instead of butchering your hair, you know damn well i could cut it better. dork.” he winked sitting you down to actually cut your hair properly.

AKAASHI

wasn’t totally surprised even though he is oblivious to most things

he would be so sweet about it??????? he wouldn’t even question you???? just accepting right away

after you were ready to come out? god he would be so overbearing with how supportive he was. “hey have you seen my BOYFRIEND?” or “are you doing okay, pretty boy?” he would do it all the time

he already knew. you’d asked him to pack your laptop in your book bag since you guys were going to study at the library. he usually didn’t snoop and honestly minded his business, but when he saw what he thought was a dildo his curiosity was peaked. you had millions of tabs open, all pertaining to the concept of gender identity. his heart softened sadly, upset by the fact you did this all alone. you came up to check what was taking him so long, face dropping when you saw what was open, “i-i promise i can explain-!” you rush forward but he quickly wraps two arms around you, kissing you softly. “shush. you don’t need to explain.” he smiled, “your preferred name and pronouns my darling?” he hummed in addition, grinning from the blush on your cheeks. “uhm..y/n..and he/him..please..” you whisper making him nod, “i’ve got the cutest boyfriend every yanno that?”

OIKAWA

would make fun of you for a bit until he realized this was actually serious

he would also apologize profusely for doing so.

would go out and buy you 67963334 slacks just to see you in them i know it

“tooru i’m serious!” you’d whimper, genuine tears pricking at the corner of your eyes. that’s when he knew he took it too far. “hey..i was just joking around…does me calling you girlie actually make you uncomfortable? why?” he was confused but then again you couldn’t blame them. you’d told iwa you were trans, hoping to get someway to tell oikawa but there wasn’t much acknowledgment of him at all. “yes..it does” you nodded wiping your eyes. “is it because you’re trans?” all the air in your lungs was knocked out of you at this. “how did you..” you’d ask softly, “i dunno! i’m just really good at this!” he giggled before kissing your head and getting off the couch you two were on. “one minute!” he ran upstairs and about five minutes later came back with all his old clothes he outgrew. “here! ‘ma saved them for donating to relatives but your more important” he hummed making you blush, “tooru you don’t-“ “and what’s your pants size?” “uh-i-“ “it’s okay doesn’t matter we’ll get all of them.” “ALL OF WHAT.” and that’s honestly how the rest of your night went.

TSUKKI

he wasn’t totally surprised but then again he knew how your parents were and would understand your hesitation for coming out

it didn’t really phase him at all. have you seen his gender nonconforming best friend? tsukki wouldn’t care unless you were authentically yourself.

would always give you reassurance, no matter how much you needed.

you’d come to your boyfriends house for the third night this week, his mom more than happy to let you stay. “he’s upstairs!” she’d smile from where she was making dinner. you already knew where to find his room, so coming inside and throwing your bags down casually wasn’t an issue at all. “y/n how many times do i have to tell your messy ass that you don’t put bags in the middle of the-“ he spun in his desk chair to look at you, his face falling the second he saw your face go red and tears streaming down your face. tsukki fucking SUCKED with emotions but he wouldn’t be pathetic and not try. “cmere moonie, what’s wrong” he frowned getting up and sitting on the bed, pulling you down with him. “i told them” you stated simply, his own anxiety kicked in. “and?” he asked, already knowing the answer. “they kicked me out.” you nodded towards the fourish bags you had dropped. “well..fuck them. here you’ll be loved and respected. they don’t deserve you. no one does. now, ill ask mom if we can move in the old dresser from akiterus room..you make yourself comfy. change, take of makeup, whatever it is. here? you’re allowed to be who you are.” and with that he was gone. tsukki may look like an asshole but he tries his best not to be for you.

ASAHI

wouldn’t initially get it, but it would take some explaining and he’d be absolutely on board

would probably smoother you in love and affection for being brave enough to tell him how you’ve been feeling

similar to akaashi he’d be quick to correct those who use incorrect pronouns (unless you tell him not too) while expressing love for his boyfriend

dating asahi had plenty of benefits, most importantly his ability to scare those off who were rude to you. you had come out to him a week ago, he needed some help understanding the process but soon he was very on board and understanding. now you two were eating lunch with noya and tanaka, watching a group of girls who ever now and then looked back at you to laugh and point. you’d just gotten your gender affirming hair cut the night before. you began to feel very self conscious about everything, just slowly tucking yourself into asahi who immediately realized something was wrong. “what’s up babe?” he asked watching you nod towards the group. with that he gently passed you over to noya who was very excited for the hugs he was allowed to give his close friend. needless to say asahi scared the living hell out of those girls. when all was said and done, he took you to the boys bathroom and locked the door. he simply hugged you, rubbing your back while you almost immediately cried. “it’s okay bunny..i’m sorry people can’t mind their own business-not that it’s my fault-i dunno why i apologized-sorry-i-“ he took a deep breath but his nervous rambling had made you giggle. “thank you, you giant teddy bear” you smiled leaning up to give him a nice soft kiss.

[cblgblog]

Sorry I’m advance but one of my other favorite accounts just reblogged a Tony scene and people are talking about Civil War and how it made them Stan Tony, and how when they watch that movie they hate team cap👀 Then someone was all about how he was sleep deprived and how much pressure he was under and couldn’t understand how people didn’t like Tony because. Someone literally said that when someone says they don’t like Tony in Civil War they say “did you watch the same movie as me.” I’m baffled. Oddly enough someone else said, “he just wants to help everyone.” Sorry for the rant but I think people forget about what the accords are and what it would mean for people. Side note, I hope you’re having a great day/night 😀

No sorry needed!

I feel you man, I do. Honestly, I’ve unfollowed people based on similar posts when I was in especially Done moods, so.

Look on the one hand, the movie would’ve been a narrative failure if everyone was in favor of one side or the other, right? The whole point of the damn thing—besides giving the Mouse overlords more money—was to spark discussion, debate. Which, yeah, we’ll call that the tame description for what actually happened. But just, the thing was meant to split the fanbase so in that regard…winning? Thanks, I guess?

Film is also very obviously subjective, different strokes for different folks, so yeah, ten people can watch a movie and none of them are gonna see the exact same film. Let’s try to remember that this is, in theory anyway, a good thing. I just read a professional film review yesterday where I had the same reaction. What film were you watching, dude? Incidentally his reviewing partner said the same thing.

So honestly, no, they weren’t watching the same film as you or I or anyone else, because everyone brings their own biases and experiences and knowledge and interests into a thing, and that’s always going to flavor how it’s viewed. Again, let’s try to remember that this is good. In theory. Heavy on the theory.

That out of the way? Let’s get into Tony specifically so his uber stans can find this and scream at me on anon as though I just shot RDJ with a nuke.

Oh yeah, he was stressed. Oh, he was sleep deprived. Yeah, I’ve heard that. And that it’s Pepper’s fault, if she hadn’t left the poor baby, if she was there to rein him in, he’d be fine dammit, leave the baby alone!

Here’s the thing. You know who gets a pass on their shit behavior when they’re upset or tired? Actual babies. Actual babies and toddlers, and children, up to a point. Because they actually cannot always help themselves. Their bodies and brains are different, they have not learned better.

When you’re a 50-year-old man who’s supposedly the world’s bestest superhero, who wants, wants to be in charge of protecting the whole world? You need a little more self-control than that. The sleep deprived excuse works if you snap at someone before you’ve had your coffee, not for this. Roseanne Barr didn’t get to blame Ambien for her racism, Tony doesn’t get to handwave CW away because oops, I was tired.

Really? You’re a superhero, dude. Most of your teammates are tired too, that’s part of the gig. If you crash and burn this badly without your afternoon nap, fucking hang up the armor and go back to your billionaire playboy lifestyle.

Speaking of that, sure, right. It’s Pepper’s fault because she left him. Put aside the argument on whether that was justified or not (cough, it was and she should’ve stayed away even though they are adorable together). It’s not Pepper’s job to keep Tony sane. It’s not any partner’s job to do that for anyone. If she wants out, she has a right to that, without Tony going off the rails and blaming it on her. Seriously, he says part of the reason he backed the Accords was to “split the difference” with Pepper.

Dude. You were an asshole and you lost your girl. You destroyed all your suits, turned an emotional and mental corner in IM 3…and then relapsed 4 minutes later I guess because Whedon. Either way, Tony admits himself that he does not want to stop. So instead of doing that, or finding another partner who can accept that, you back an unjust international law that pits you against your team, your supposed friends? Go to therapy, have a pint of ice cream, cry into your pillow, send her more of those strawberries you sent her in IM 2 that she’s allergic to. You don’t go trying to change international law in ways that could ultimately affect millions of people because your girl left you.

Honestly—and thank God they didn’t do this but—the only way the Pepper excuse works in excusing his behavior in any way is if she’d died. Or been severely injured like Happy in IM 3. Still wouldn’t be okay, but, like Quill messing up their chance to stop Thanos because Gamora died, it would’ve been more understandable. Understandable, not excusable, and the way the MCU treats their women as manpain fodder, we’re probably legit lucky we didn’t get this.

As for him wanting to help everyone. He does in fact want that, I think. The problem is that his need to feel like he’s doing that is stronger than his rational mind, or his want to actually help in a constructive way.

Tony is too smart. He’s dumb as hell in many instances, mostly involving people and relationships, but he’s also too smart, and he’s been told for too long that he’s smart, and he’s bought into it. Ultron. Suit of armor around the world, protects the world, no more alien threats. It’s a simple concept on paper that fails in execution. So there are people with dangerous powers. Okay, we’ll make a set of laws to keep them from being dangerous, problem solved. But again, it isn’t.

Tony is not used to problems he cannot solve. He’s a genius, right? He can fix anything. He should be able to fix anything. That’s how he feels. But not everything is zeros and ones and circuits, things that can be fixed mechanically like his armors can. The people he wants to protect are not built that way. But he needs to feel like he’s doing something, because he’s terrified of what happens to the world if he doesn’t. So he creates these simple solutions to complex problems. The suit of armor, the Accords. They sound good in theory, but the problems they’re trying to solve are bigger than they are. And Tony, way back in IM 1, he sat back for years, clueless that his weapons were being used for bad things. He says it to Cap in CW. When he found out what his weapons were being used for, he went in and stopped it. Whether or not he should’ve known that already is a separate issue here. The point here is that when he found out, too late or not, he went in and did something about it.

Tony needs to do something about it. Again, go back to Cap in AoU, Tony’s nightmare sequence. Steve asks Tony why he didn’t save them. Tony’s ultimate nightmare is that he sits back and does nothing, and his inaction causes everyone to die. Which is where you get Ultron. Something he came up with because of what he saw in space in Avengers 1, then doubled down on in AoU. It’s where you get the Accords. Oops, he caused someone to die, he killed Charles Spencer. Must do something about that right now so it doesn’t happen again, and he won’t have to feel this guilt. He should be collaborating with others to come up with solutions (no Bruce in AoU doesn’t count because Bruce was dumb there), or at the very least, taking more time to think through the repercussions of the things he puts out there. But he doesn’t, because he’s got his savior complex that tells him that he alone can and must fix this, and because he’s too dumb to realize how not-smart he is in certain areas.

“We need to be put in check. Whatever form that takes, I’m game.”

Isn’t that what he says in CW, or something very close to it? Whatever form that takes. That’s the issue, right there, whatever form that takes. Realistically, yes, there should be laws regarding people with powers, the same way there are special laws pertaining to people who carry guns, or people who are licensed to fly planes. You have a thing/can do a thing that not everyone else does, so there are regulations pertaining to that thing. Laws change with the times, they always have. Some new technology comes up, eventually there will be laws that regulate it. As there should be, honestly. The issue with the Accords, Steve’s issue with the Accords, was not the basic idea. He says as much. He says that it could work, but there would have to be safeguards. Safeguards that are not in the Accords that Tony wants him to sign.

It's not a matter of oh, fuck the law, there should be no law governing these people, they’re above it. The problem is that the law as it’s presented here is unjust. There’s what, a month between Lagos and Ross coming by to tell them about the Accords? A month is not enough time to properly analyze such a big issue, Especially when you’re reacting out of fear, which is what happened with Lagos. People died because of an Enhanced person, an Avenger, in this case. Lawmakers don’t want that to happen again, they especially don’t want the political shit storm that comes with it. Damn, we look like we were asleep at the switch here, not having anything to throw at this problem earlier. Quick, let’s throw together this thing so no one can say we’re not addressing the problem.

Patriot Act of 2001, anyone? 9/11 happened, the public were rightfully terrified, the US said oh man, these are unprecedented circumstances, we’ve never had this before. Don’t worry though, we’re on this, we’re protecting you. The reality being that that bill simply gave the government too much power, most of it being used against people who were not actually threats, and it’s debatable, to say the very least, whether or not that law helped more than it hurt.

No law is perfect. No law ever will be. It’s not possible. We still have to strive for perfection though, have to aim there so that the laws we get are as close to fair as possible. Tony’s a big deal. If not for his “whatever form that takes” attitude, he might’ve been able to use his influence to pressure lawmakers into coming up with a fairer bill. Hey, I’m me, the public loves me, I will endorse this bill publicly and work on getting the rest of the team to sign, but you need to change this and this and this first, or no deal. Instead, he took the easy way out, the quickest, easiest way for him to feel like he’s atoned for his sins without actually doing anything. Whatever form that takes.

Tony’s not wrong because he backs the creation of a law that addresses these things. He’s wrong because he says himself that he does not care what that law does, specifically, so long as it exists. He’s wrong because he violates said law upteen times during the movie, while preaching to team Cap about what assholes they are for not backing it. He’s wrong because he cares more about feeling as though he’s tackled a problem than he does about taking the time to make sure that the thing he’s proposing is actually a good idea. He’s wrong because of what he does with Bucky, though that’s honestly a separate issue, for the purposes of this discussion.

Anyway, that was longer than I ever wanted it to be. Damn. Next time you see a comment about CW being the reason people stan Tony, just remember there are other people out there who stopped stanning Tony because of that movie. Everyone’s entitled to see a piece of media however they see it, and although the Tony stans are often the loudest, there are plenty of like-minded people out there who share your take on events. Block who you need to, unfollow who you need to, blacklist what you need to, and don’t let them get you down.

Hang in there, and have an awesome day :)

[lilover131]

Chapter 55 Thoughts

It’s been a while since I’ve taken the time to actually write down my reactions and thoughts about a chapter, but after a agonizing 3 month wait for a new chapter, I had a lot of time to think about a lot of things. The final day was certainly the most difficult, and I slept horribly trying to wait for this chapter to come out (it’d be nice if companies could regularly list like....a release time on a certain date so people aren’t literally refreshing the page every 5 minutes to see if it’s up. Or at least have some consistency!). My lack of sleep and constant thoughts about CCS though did manage to stir another CCS related dream, which I will talk about in a separate post. 

But hot damn was this chapter worth the wait! It certainly wasn’t what I expected, but it was really great in a lot of ways! 

ANYWAYS, I’ve rambled enough. My thoughts on this chapter are below the cut! 

So I will start off by praising the hell out of Sakura for her quick thinking in using SIEGE. That was definitely a wow moment for me and really shows her growth as a magic user and as a person honestly. This action not only spoke to her skill but also to how quick thinking she is in such an uncertain situation. Surely, having never had any reason to doubt Kaito or question his abilities before, It is almost unbelievable that she managed to think of that and do that in the mere seconds she had to respond after Syaoran made his accusation of Kaito. I’ve noticed as of late that her instincts in particular seem to be really really on point. She starting to trust herself and her feelings, and because of this, she is able to act without hesitation, and I have a feeling that is  going to be extremely vital later on. 

Sakura starts off by asking the real important questions and things I would ask myself in her shoes having just met another magic user, especially one with unclear intentions like Kaito. She seemed like she was studying him to gauge him and the reasons for his actions or what he might do. What intrigues me about this part is she first asks him if he knows about her being able to use cards. He answers with a simple “Yes”. But when she asks about if he knows about Syaoran, his answer is far less simple, and that might potentially be telling. Kaito stated that he knows Syaoran to be a “extremely gifted sorcerer” and “the next head of the Li clan”. Now, perhaps I’m overthinking this, but he could have just answered ‘yes’ like he did with Sakura, but instead he listed specific details about him that shows Sakura he has done his research and knows a lot about him. Now, we already knew that he had this information of course, but why does he want Sakura to know this in that moment? I’m fascinated by this and what he was trying to tell Sakura by telling her he had this sort of knowledge. Additionally, why is it that when it pertains to Syaoran, Kaito behaves so much differently than he does with anyone else? I’ll probably delve into that in another post, but I have some theories on that. 

After making this statement, Sakura and Kaito exchange some meaningful looks, though it’s unclear what the both of them are thinking in that moment. Sakura turns to look back at Akiho and Syaoran and appears nervous, like she’s concerned about something (I have a theory to that as well, but I’ll leave that for another time). Then, Sakura mentions Momo and asks where she went, indicating that she has not forgotten about the other person around earlier. Sakura seems to really be evaluating her situation with these questions she’s asking, but unbeknownst to her, Momo has been cut off from her tv drama and is pouting in the mansion. hahahaha! 

Momo, while upset that she can’t see what’s going on anymore, praises Sakura for her for her quick thinking and mentions that neither she or Akiho’s mother accurately predicted how powerful Sakura would become. The implications of this are unknown as it is unclear what they are trying to stop to begin with. 

The scene changes back to Kaito and Sakura’s ‘standoff’, and Kaito states that Sakura cannot stay hidden in SIEGE’s field forever. I believe he was trying to stir a reaction and speed things up as probably the longer he has his time spell up, the more it affects his body, so he cannot afford to waste any more time. In what appears to be his way of showing desperation (at least in my opinion), he points his staff in Syaoran’s direction and threatens Sakura by stating that “He will make the first move” if she won’t. My jaw dropped a this, and though I don’t believe he actually had any intentions of hurting Syaoran, just the implications and threat of it was enough to make my blood boil. Lmao. 

BUT ONCE AGAIN, SAKURA IS QUEEN and reacts ridiculously fast to protect her man and uses one of her newest cards, TRANSFER, to switch places with Kaito and....well...she put him in a box. Hahahaha!! Seeing Kaito all crammed in that small space inside of SIEGE was honestly so satisfying and it was nice to see him on the losing side for once. I can’t imagine he was happy about it either. He’s used to things going his way, and in this particular venture, it has been anything but. 

However, this unfortunately also becomes Sakura’s downfall. By switching places with him, she put herself out of the protection she had before and was now affected by Kaito’s time magic. She managed to take a few steps, running towards Syaoran, before she ultimately was stopped. Kaito makes mention of her progress. When you think about it, she’s gone from being able to move a pinky to moving as far as she did this time, so it’s a significant growth. 

He goes on to talk, though it’s unclear if Sakura could hear him at all, about a phrase Akiho had learned in her Japanese dictionary one time about “growing leaps and bounds”. He seemed lost in a memory where Akiho spoke of how she wished to improve her Japanese so she could become even better friends with Sakura and the others, and how happy she looked when she spoke of this. Honestly, this sentiment from Akiho is super relatable and resonated with me. I am fortunate to have so many friends in so many different parts of the world, and I absolutely love learning about their cultures and words of their native language so that I can become closer to them. But what also makes this moment so meaningful is that in this particular moment, Kaito is thinking about Akiho and her smile. One may wonder “Why is he saying this right now?”, but it really does display how much Akiho is on his mind and how much he cares about her and his reasons for doing all of this. 

Shortly after saying this, he seems to be in pain again, showing once again the deterioration of his body the more he uses time magic, and it seems clear that he really is getting closer to his own demise. He even says as much when he pleads to Sakura to please make the card he needs soon, before he runs out of time. I don’t think he’s necessarily displaying a will to live or anything yet, but more a “I have to get this done before I perish, or it will all be for nothing”. 

Disappointingly, time is rewound once again, and he takes it back to before he and Akiho decided on a location for their outing. @meimi-haneoka​ mentioned this, and I agree with her, but he could have rewound to any point in time and could have completely undone their entire day, but he chose to still have that outing with her anyways. It was a conscious choice he made, though he quite casually made sure they changed the choice of location (for obvious reasons). Lmao!!! 

Now we get to the really exciting part. So after Kaito rewound time, I gave a big sigh and thought “Well, here we go again”, but something was very different this time. Sakura’s serious expression standing in her hallway said it all, and she suddenly grabbed her phone from her purse and called Syaoran, saying “We need to talk. It’s important”. 

So Syaoran, being the most adorable worried boyfriend he is, runs into her house literally in the next panel and immediately asks if Sakura is okay. I can imagine that he probably ran the entire way to her house too, and it’s just so wholesome I can’t even. It’s crazy how well CLAMP shows the strength of their love just through small actions like these, and it really is a work of art with its subtleties. 

Kero and Suppi have not been told why Sakura’s behaving so seriously, as she was waiting for Syaoran to get there first, but soon enough she tells them all at once about how she remembers using SIEGE at the botanical garden. This understandably confuses Syaoran, since in his mind they haven’t even gone there yet. But, she goes on to explain that she remembers using SIEGE, but more importantly that she remembers seeing Kaito using magic. This is HUGE. Not only is this progress (have we finally gotten out of rewind hell?), but this means that Sakura likely will not be nearly as affected by any time magic in the future. And if Kaito cannot make her forget about him using magic, that makes every action he does in the future very precarious. It’s unclear what the implications are of this revelation, but it’s going to entirely change how she reacts around Kaito, perhaps how she reacts around Akiho, and the dialogue she has with Syaoran. Syaoran should theoretically be able to talk to her now about Kaito and what he’s done so far and what they know, and I’m so so curious to see what Sakura will do with this knowledge. Will she be upset? Will she be mad? Certainly she won’t be happy to know that Kaito’s been forcibly keeping Syaoran silent, but Sakura is a forgiving person in nature, so it’s hard to say what she’ll do. 

Anyways, this chapter was incredible and I cannot wait to see how this develops from now on. I have a feeling things are going to get real intense here soon now that Kaito can’t control things like he’s been doing a majority of the series. Things are definitely different now, and honestly it’s about fucking time. 

[funkymbtifiction]

Can you help me find my type please?- I have been torn between Infj and infp for a little while. I had settled with Infj originally, but in hopes of not being mistyped I am also considering the possibility of me being an infp. There are certain aspects from both types that I resonate with....

You are a wonderful, creative, imaginative ISFJ. Let's look:

On a daily basis I feel as though I am constantly preparing for events or situations in hopes of having some sort of control over my environment. It’s not so much that I want to control people, but I want to know what’s going on around me constantly in order to be prepared for what’s coming next. Being prepared gives me a sense of peace because I know what is going to happen so there’s no unwanted surprises. <- strong Si

When I’m completing an assignment for one of my classes, I always evaluate my options and pick which one is best depending on the circumstance. For example, recently I had to write a paper, psychoanalyzing a character with mental illness from a movie. While there are plenty of movies with characters that have mental illness, I quickly came up with two that I had previously watched since a familiar movie would make the analysis easier for me. Then I was able to narrow it down to one based on the complexity of the characters involved in the two movies and which one had more interesting information to discuss in the paper. This thought process was done quite quickly in my head. <- Si. You chose a character you are intimately familiar with to streamline the process (this is not abstract thinking, this is a useful, practical sensory method of easily accomplishing it)

I like to know the deeper meaning of things and I constantly do that even when I’m out for a walk. For example, if I’m out on a nice sunny spring evening and so see a lovely tree with green leaves. I might start to think about how these leaves are so bright and lively, but in a few months they will change color and fall, then the tree will completely loose its leaves. However, in the end the tree always comes back to its happy state with green leaves swaying in the cool breeze. I would then relate that to the human circle of life. Humans actually don’t have much time on earth, but every stage of life we experience is just as valuable as the next l. There’s will be moments that are more positive than others but they all teach us lessons that are valuable. Once one life is gone another life begins and the process goes on and on as humans evolve through generations similar to the changing leaves of a tree through seasons. <- 100% gorgeous example of Si and Ti. Si knows what is permanent, and sees what things were, what they are, and what they are becoming, the permanence of things. What LASTS. What outlives us. What has stability. What does that tree mean to me? Who has sat under its branches? Who has leaned against it? What has sheltered beneath it in a storm? What can this teach us (Fe) about being human? What do we learn from our life experiences (Si)? A lovely, sensory abstract comparison (Si is abstract, just not abstract in the way Ni is).

When I am with a group of people, whether I know them or not I can easily get a feel for the atmosphere and adhere to what is expected of me. If they are sad I will be somber with them while trying to comfort them if I feel they need it. If they are happy I will be happy with them and try to keep them happy. If people are angry I usually start to feel anxious because I don’t react well to anger. Peoples emotions heavily influence me ever since I was little. <- Fe. My ENFJ says Fe is like being a chameleon. You have no choice but to change colors around other people, to adapt yourself to them so you can reach them on a level they can understand.

My thirst for knowledge is constant and never ending. I’m never satisfied because I know there’s more to learn. When I start researching something about a certain topic, I read article after article, watch video after video, and look at as many posts as I can pertaining to that topic solely for the sake of learning more about it. <- Si detail gathering.

Actually, there have been many times where I’ve completed assignments in a different way to what was “expected” simply because it felt for logical to me. I understood it better that way so I completed the assignment that way. Also, I enjoy helping my friends out with their homework which I usually do. When I am checking my friends work I am easily able to point of mistakes or errors in their work that they were not able to notice. <-Si and Ti. All I can say is thank God for ISFJ proof-readers, I owe them a debt of gratitude. ;)

When I’m not thinking about the future, I’m thinking about memories that I’ve made. These memories are usually triggered by a pretty scenery or an object that holds a lot of meaning to me. For example, sometimes I’ll look outside of my bedroom window when the sun sets and every time I do that, I get emotional thinking about the times I would walk down these streets as a kid and how fast time flew by. I remember how the area changed and people that I loved left to continue their lives. Then I think about how one day I won’t be looking out of this window, but out of the window of my own home looking at a different scenery and introducing new people into my life. It gets me thinking how beautiful life is and how much we take for granted. Usually after these moments I feel very appreciative for the life that I have and the wonderful people in my life. I conclude that I wouldn’t want it any other way. <- delightful SiFe. Warm, centered in what one values for oneself (the things special to me - Si), leading into low Ne thoughts about the future and what it means to be human.

Ever since I was young I felt like I understood things that other children or people did not pick up on. This usually pertained to social cues. I’ve always known how I was expected to act based on the atmosphere of the situation and how the people around me were behaving. However, it seemed that others didn’t really care as much. Children would behave however they wanted and even if they got yelled at by the teacher they would carry on the next day. I didn’t understand how they didn’t know how to behave or why they didn’t seem to care. Also, I always take into consideration the feelings of people, but I’ve noticed over the years that many people don’t care as much. In my everyday life I try to be kind to everyone I encounter. If I were to ever make someone upset or feel a negative emotions I would feel like a horrible person. However, I see other people offending each other all the time and they don’t seem to care. I don’t get how people could easily be so insensitive towards others. In addition, I have always had very good problem solving skills. When people would not understand something, I would immediately try to help them because somehow I understood it without much prior experience. I was just able to figure it out based on observations, which I didn’t see a lot of people doing as much while growing up. <- strong Fe. FJs can automatically know what is appropriate or not and adjust to a situation and become uncomfortable when others do not, because then the "rules" of social engagement are being broken, and it will make everyone uncomfortable or not know what to say or do within the situation.

I doubt I need to go on. You love to make cherished memories, the hallmark of an ISFJ. Memories are all we have, they connect us, they give the world meaning, and we build them around what holds great personal significance to ourselves, yes? ISFJ. Embrace it. Feel at home in it. Love it. :)

[vodkassassin]

poor MQF. Bc sqh low self esteem, the guy he's in love with doesn't even think they're friends.

Damn SQH is high key dumb but that’s why I love him @dancibayo

“You’re going to the feast, right?”

Shang Qinghua pauses in the doorway, looking over his shoulder with a look of confusion on his face. “What?”

Mu Qingfang closes the file that he’d been perusing and stands up, coming around to the other side of his desk. “Liu Mingyan’s birthday celebration. Are you going to be there?”

“Of course!” The An Ding peak lord scratches the back of his head sheepishly. “Honestly, I think Liu-shidi might beat me up if I forget. I don’t know why, since it’s not like I’m close with Liu-shimei…. But, I’ll be there for sure!”

Mu Qingfang rolls his eyes. “He won’t. He hasn’t beaten you since you miraculously befriended him. And since you’re friends, of course he’s going to expect you at things like this.”

Shang Qinghua blinks, befuddled. “Wait. Liu Qingge and I? We’re friends? When did that happen?”

“When did —?” It’s Mu Qingfang’s turn to pause, and he takes the moment to pull up short and give his fellow peak lord a look in examination.

“No, seriously,” Shang Qinghua says, stepping back into the room and shutting the door behind him. “You think Liu Qingge sees me as a friend? He hates weak people! He sees me as weak. Qingfang, he hates me!”

“Dear heavens,” Mu Qingfang runs a hand down his face, looking close to astonished, before giving his head a slow shake. His expression smoothes out into something more close to a realization. “Qinghua, Liu Qingge sees you as a friend. Why else do you think he’s been bringing you a part of his hunting bounties? He only does that for his friends.”

“Is that why he keeps dropping monster carcasses on top of my terrified disciples?” Shang Qinghua asks, aghast.

“I thought I told him to stop doing that,” Mu Qingfang mumbles, fingers pinched at the bridge of his nose. Then he continues, louder, “But, yes. That’s why he does that.”

“Does he do that to you, too?”

“Yes, he does,” the doctor says almost tersely, “because he and I are also friends! Qinghua,” he adds quickly, like his mind is reeling, “Qinghua, you do know that you and I are friends as well, right?”

“Uh,” Shang Qinghua stammers, hands fidgeting with his sleeves and gaze darting wildly around the room. Anywhere but to meet Mu Qingfang’s eyes.

The doctor stares at him for a long, tense moment, and then lets out a heavy sigh.

“I should have guessed.” He says, quietly. “You’re... not exactly the brightest when it comes to interpersonal relationships.”

“Hey,” Shang Qinghua complains, a little offended.

He shuts up when Mu Qingfang takes a step toward him, then another. The doctor strides across the room, and crowds the nervous Shang Qinghua until his back hits the door.

“Um, Qingfang—”

“Why would you assume that I don’t see you as a friend?” The man asks softly.

“I—I just,” Shang Qinghua says, hands hovering between the two of them because he’s not sure what to do with them. “I mean, you are my favorite out of all the peak lords, Qingfang, honestly, but I just, I don’t — I mean, I kind of thought you were only nice to me because I make a good missions partner? Or, I mean!” The An Ding peak lord hurries on, once he sees how upset the other man appears at this reason. “That’s just what I thought in the beginning! I’ve realized over the time we’ve known each other that you’re definitely not like that at all! And, I mean, I like you of course, Qingfang, but I just didn’t realize — I didn’t think you thought of me as a friend , that’s all! I mean, that’s not generally what people want with me, so I guess I just… Um....”

Mu Qingfang watches him silently, a serene and neutral mask firmly in place, and Shang Qinghua shifts awkwardly as his nervous stammering finally begins to trail off. Mu Qingfang hasn’t used this expression with him in ages. What has he done wrong? He didn’t know! Shang Qinghua doesn’t know a lot of things, ok?! Oh, well, sure, there’s a lot of things that he does know, most of that being things that he definitely should not know, but none of that oh-so special knowledge pertains at all to relationships with other people. That sort of stuff is all organic! No cold, hard data whatsoever! Shang Qinghua is a fish out of water when it comes to this sort of stuff. Mu Qingfang knows that! You can’t blame him, Qingfang!

He’s getting a little hot under the collar, since the doctor has crowded him back against the door and now stands so close that he could reach out or touch him if he wanted, and Shang Qinghua sweats anxiously.

“I just… I didn’t think....” He whispers, feeling shitty now that he’s realized how deeply he’s fumbled. Is Mu Qingfang upset with him, now? Shang Qinghua, he… doesn’t want that. He doesn’t want that at all.

He has to fix this somehow.

But, maybe first, just to confirm?

He bites his lip, feeling suddenly shy. “We — Are we friends?” He asks, hopefully.

“Qinghua,” Mu Qingfang sighs out in exasperation. Shang Qinghua can feel his breath on his face. He blinks. Mu Qingfang reaches up with a hand and slots his palm gently against Shang Qinghua’s cheek. He gives it a few soft pats. “We call each other by our given names.”

“So, then,” Shang Qinghua hedges, poking his fingers together like some knock off anime girl, because he’s an absolute loser and this ridiculous media-born habit has followed him into this second life of his just like the rest of the sins of his past. “That’s a yes? That is yes, right? You’re my friend, Qingfang? I’d, um — I’d really like that.”

He’s rambling now, his face heating up likely akin to a tomato, but he can’t shut up. “I didn’t know you thought I’d make a good friend, but I’m really glad that you do—”

Mu Qingfang is staring at him. There’s an incredulous and exasperated look on his face. He looks unbearably fond.

Shang Qinghua glances helplessly away from him, at the far wall, and mentally begins booting up the process of silencing himself. It’s gonna take a while, since he’s so incredibly flustered, what the fuck. But he’ll manage it in a second! Hang in there, Qingfang!

“—because I’d really love to have a friend, and that’s kind of pathetic now that I say it out loud, but —“

Mu Qingfang huffs. “Qinghua.”

It sounds kind of like a laugh, but his voice is thick with some kind of emotion that Shang Qinghua doesn’t really have the knowledge or experience to name.

He shakes his head, a little wildly, because he’s almost there! He’ll shut up soon, thanks for sticking with him, Qingfang! His friend is so patient, what a godsend.

“I think I have to apologize now? Because I didn’t notice, and uh, how long has it been like this? We’ve been friends and I didn’t even know? I’m kind of an idiot, I’m sorry —”

“Qinghua.” Mu Qingfang says, and then takes the initiative to silence Shang Qinghua himself.

Wait.

Shang Qinghua stops. Everything else might keep on going, in this second, but Shang Qinghua is having a moment of absolute bluescreen, because Mu Qingfang — beautiful, smart, kind Mu Qingfang’s lips are on his, and Shang Qinghua doesn’t know what to do.

Does Qingfang mean to do this? To him? What if it’s a mistake? Surely, he can’t —

Mu Qingfang pushes forward. Shang Qinghua’s back hits the closed door behind him, and their chests are suddenly pressed together. It’s warm. Shang Qinghua feels like he’s on fire. Is he still blushing? It’s probably worse now. Mu Qingfang’s arm comes forward and wraps securely around Shang Qinghua’s small waist, tugging him ever closer. His other hand has moved up from his face to tangle gently in Shang Qinghua’s hair.

After a moment, the Qian Cao lord pulls back about an inch and rests his forehead against Shang Qinghua’s. He stares into his eyes, silent, and then squeezes the arm around his waist.

“You haven’t been eating again,” the doctor comments idly, as eerily spot on as he always is. “You really need to stop forgetting to do that.”

“What’s happening,” Shang Qinghua says, breathless and dazed. He realizes his hands have come to rest against Mu Qingfang’s chest, and he absently moves them to curl in the wide collar of the man’s robe.

“I’ve realized that if I ever want you to notice, then I’ll have to be more forward with you.” Mu Qingfang replies, matter-of-factly.

He tilts his head to the side, the tip of his nose barely sliding against the side of Shang Qinghua’s, and the doctor presses another brief yet firm kiss into his mouth.

“Incredibly so,” he says, sounding both annoyed and amused in equal measure. Then, he carefully, pointedly seals their lips together once more.

Shang Qinghua’s hands clench in the man’s robes, and he leans forward into Mu Qingfang’s grasp, standing up on his toes — all the other peak lords are so damn tall, it’s not fair! — and tilting his head back to allow for better access, because. Because Mu Qingfang is still kissing him and Shang Qinghua —

Shang Qinghua doesn’t want him to stop.

[mycomfortblanket]

Could We?

Toph feels a body drop down onto the bed with her, which is what jostled her awake, but she doesn't open her eyes to acknowledge his presenece. She can hear his breathing, slow and deep and considering the fact that it's Tuesday and before noon, she can accurately assume it's Aang.

"I think I'm going to break up with Katara," he whispers out to her.

"Is that really why you came in here so fucking early and woke me up? To tell me some gossip?" she mumbles out against her pillow. He doesn't say anything else but rather lets out a deep breath.

She is just edging the cliff of sleep when he speaks up again, "Do you think it would be a mistake for me to do that?"

Toph lifts a shoulder in a lazy way, "I don't know, Twinkletoes," her voice thick with sleep, "Are you happy with her? You guys seem to be the picture perfect couple."

"Exactly! That's the thing. I don't want to be the picture perfect couple. I want to fight, I want to get into arguements and disagree on stuff, I don't want everything to be perfect. It just all feels faked and forced," he waves his arms around in exasperation, shaking the bed slightly.

Realizing she isn't going to be able to go back to sleep, she rolls over onto her back and rests her hands on her stomach. "Okay, I thought fighting came with every relationship. I f you don't want it to be faked and forced, then what do you want?"

Aang doesn't answer for a moment, trying to think as to what he does want in his relationship, "I want it to be fun. I want her to be my best friend and then my girlfriend second, you know?"

"No, I don't know. Haven't exactly been flourishing in the dating department. Why don't you just talk to her about this?"

"I don't know," he grumbles. They're both silent, the only sound is their breathing.

"What's your sex life like?" she asks randomly.

Aang sits straight up and turns his head to look at her, "What?!" he yells.

Trying to hold back a snicker, Toph sits up as well and leans her back against the wall, "I said, 'What's your sex life like?' Is it good? How often do you guys do it?"

"I don't think that really pertains to the conversation, Toph!"

"Oh, it really does, Twinkletoes. A lot, actually. So, what's it like? Is it any good? How often do you do it?"

Aang is quiet for a moment, "It's okay and we do it maybe like... a few times a month," he mumbles. Toph can't hold back a laugh and he shoots her a glare, "Oh, and yours is just so much better?"

"Actually, yes. I may not be flourishing in the relationship department, but I definitely know my way around a bedroom," she says through a laugh and Aang just buries his face in his hands. "Since you woke me up, you get to make me breakfast," she says, getting up from the bed.

"Ahhh, Toph!" Aang throws a hand up to cover his eyes.

Toph quirks an eyebrow at him but then remembers that she is only wearing a bralette and panties. Waving a hand at him, "Ehh, it's fine. Same as a swimsuit."

"My Spirits, no it's not," Aang mutters to himself.

-----

Toph stabs at her eggs and Aang sits across from her sucking down some kind of smoothing and making loud slurping noises, "So, what do you think? Should I break up with her?"

"Urgh, we're back to this?" Toph mumbles, her tiredness still not having fully left her. "Look, it really sounds like you've already made up your mind about it. You're obviously not happy in the relationship, so might as well cut that shit off."

Aang casts his eyes down and slurps loudly from his drink again while thinking over what she said. A replay of this morning's conversation comes to his mind, "What's you sex life like?" he asks.

The fork hovers just in front of her open mouth and stays there for a second while she digests the fact that he actually asked that. Laying the fork down, she lifts an eyebrow up at him, "What?" confused disbelief lacing the word.

He shrugs and draws small circles on the table with his finger, "Well, I was just thinking. You know- well kinda know- about mine. So, what's yours like? Maybe I could compare the two, see if I'm doing something wrong or maybe like-"

"Stop," Toph cuts off his rambling. "What do you want to know? And ask quickly before I change my mind."

Aang immediately sits up straighter but draws a complete blank at what to ask, "Ah, shit. Okay. I didn't really think you'd agree. Okay, give me a second." Toph just stares blankly in his direction while sipping from her straw. "Okay, okay. What's it like?"

Cocking her head to the side, Toph lets out a groan. "No, too vague. Ask specific questions so I can give you actual answers."

"Well! I don't know, what am I supposed to ask?! How loud are you or if you prefer to be on top?"

"I don't think I'm loud, but I definitely can be. As for being on top or bottom, you'll have to be more specific? I prefer to ride, so yes to that part of being on top, but I am definitely a bottom. Meaning, I'm a submissive sexual person. Next question, go," she answers with no hesitation and goes back to sipping on her orange juice and staring blankly at him.

"Wow. Uh, okay. Wasn't expecting that," he mumbles awkwardly and sips his drink. He thinks for a moment, and finally asks, "How do you convey to someone that you want to have... not regular sex?"

"What?"

"Like... how do I tell Katara that I want to have sex differently?"

"What, you mean like rough sex? You guys don't have rough sex?" Aang doesn't say anything, just rolls the straw between his fingers, "What, do you do missionary every time?" Again, he doesn't say anything. Raising her eyebrows, she brushes off some crumbs on her hands, "How often do you guys have sex? Like exact number."

"I dunno," he mumbles, "Maybe like... twice a month?"

"You guys have sex twice a month?!" Toph says loudly.

"I told you that!"

"No," she said, shaking her head at him, showing her disappointment in him. "You said a few times a month, which could mean once a week or whatever." She hears a think on the table and assumes he dropped his head onto it. Toph considers him for a minute, "Do you love her?"

He doesn't answer right away, which is an answer enough, but he says, "I feel like it's a little early to say if I love her or not."

Rolling her eyes, Toph leans forward and rests her elbows on the table, "Yeah, but the way you paused says a lot, too." The waitress comes over and drops off their check without even looking at them and takes Toph's plate away. "Alright, I'm going to say something and I don't want you to get upset with me, okay?" When he doesn't say anything, she continues, "I do think you should break up with her. Not because I don't like having girl talks with you, because believe me, it's great. But, you paused on admitting that you loved her, your sex life is shit, and you even said you weren't happy."

"I never said I wasn't happy," he grumbles.

"You never said you were and either way, my point stands. You guys have been together for six months and you don't even feel a little sliver of love for her?" She holds her fingers up so that her index finger and thumb are almost touching to emphasize her point.

Aang starts to say something, but she cuts him off, "You also want to fight and she obviously doesn't. No offense, but I think you're just wanting someone to tell you it's okay that you break up with her, and it is."

-----

A week or two later, she feels Aang drop onto her bed again, jostling her awake. Pulling her pillow over her head, she groans, "What the fuck do you want, Twinkles?"

"I broke up with her," he says as he releases a deep breath.

"Great. I feel like this is a conversation that could wait a few hours," her voice muffled by the pillow.

"Come on, Toph. I need your help."

"Bitch, my help? You already broke up with her, the fuck do you need me for?"

"You're going to help me with my sex life!"

"The fuck I'm helping you with that. Now, go away, it's too early to be awake," she kicks at him, pushing him out of the bed. The hell did he mean 'help him with his sex life'? He was helping himself by getting out of that relationship to begin with, the rest he could figure out on his own.

"It's 11:30," he says, standing up. He smacks her blanket covered ass, hoping to get her out of the bed but she just swings an arm and tries to hit him.

"Get out, Twinkletoes!"

A few hours later, when she finally walks out of her bedroom in a long tshirt and her underwear, Aang greets her from the couch. She can hear some gory tv show going on as she passes through the living room and into the kitchen.

When she comes back with a bowl of Apple Jacks, she sits cross legged on the couch next to him and listens to the show knowing that he's going to want to talk. As expected, he turns off the tv and turns to her, "So, I broke up with her."

"Yeah, you said that," she says through a mouthful of cereal.

"Yeah... it actually went a lot better than I thought it would have. She cried, but..." he trails.

"She cried? Fuck, what did you say to her?" from the passive way Aang was talking about breaking up with her the other day, she assumed that Katara was also starting to pick up on the fact that something was wrong with their relationship.

"Why wouldn't she cry? We dated for six months." Toph shrugged and continued to eat her cereal. They sit in silence for a moment, the only sound is the clink of her spoon against the bowl and her chewing.

"What were you saying about me helping with your sex life? What exactly did you mean by that?" she points her spoon at him.

"You have a lot of sex, I hear it almost weekly," he says in a slightly annoyed tone. Toph had warned him against choosing the apartment that had the bedrooms sharing a wall but he insisted because the kitchen has a nice view of the park, as if it matters. "So you must have some pointer."

Rolling her eyes, she stands up from the couch and takes her bowl to the sink and rinises it out. For what he is asking of her, he could be a little more sensittive with how he words things. "Pointers?" she asks from the sink.

"Yeah. Like tricks or something."

"Aang, honey. I can't give you those kind of pointers unless we're having sex and I can tell where you're fucking up," she says and plops down next to him on the couch.

"True," and from that word alone, she can tell where his mind is going.

Shaking her head, she starts to lean away from him, "No. Nuh uh. No-" she lifts her hands up as if she were to push him off of her at that exact moment. She is getting massive Emma Stone from Easy A vibes at the moment.

"Come on, Toph! Just think about it!"

"No, Aang! No, the fact that you even think that would work-"

"Oh, whatever, Toph! You know it would. You're the least commitall person in the world and you even said that I would need a hands on approach to know where I'm fucking up."

Toph jumps up from the couch and points at him, "You've lost your mind. You're obviously in shock from that breakup. It must've fucked you up more than we realzied."

Aang stands up and grabs the finger that is pointed at him, "Dude! THink about it! We would be helping each other out!" Now Toph is pretty sure that's an actual line in Easy A.

"I really don't see how teaching you how to properly have sex would benefit me. Just do what I do and go pick someone up at the bar!"

Completely ignoring her resolution to the problem, he continues, "You'd be getting to have sex and not faking it since you'd be my guide," she is just about to interject that she does not fake it. "Trust me, I've heard you enough times to tell when you're faking it."

Toph pulls her hand away from him and crosses her arms over her chest and looks away. "And you don't have to keep doing the whole finding someone at the bar, somehow getting them back here, and then hoping they don't steal anything when they leave in the morning!"

He couldn't really think that this would work. Even though she hated the whole 'finding someone at the bar' part, his plan is ridiculous, no matter how appealing the prospect of sex sounded.

Shaking her head, she says, "And what makes you think it would work, you and me having sex? What makes you think you wouldn't catch feelings or someone catching us in the act or some other awful thing."

"I like how you said that as if I would be the only one that caught feeling," she raises an eyebrow at him. "Okay, whatever. I wouldn't catch feelings because, I don't think of you like that now and it would just be sex for educational purposes, no kissing or anything. As for someone catching us, we'll just start locking the front door."

He was really finding reasons to pave over her reasons, "I swear to all the Spirits, this is not going to work," she shakes her head again, her arms still crossed at her chest.

"But...?" he asks, his voice getting a little hopeful. He begins to bounce on the balls of his feet while waiting for her next response.

"But, I haven't gotten laid in a while, so why not."

Read this on Archive of Our Own

[i-drink-and-i-write-fics]

Let It Die

Chapter 2: If You Love Me

Summary: Loki makes a plan with Thor to win back Reader’s heart.

Your room had become your personal ice castle. Small frozen ice sculptures were decorating your window sills while a light ring of frost surrounded the window panes. Snow lightly covered your dresser and nightstand while your bed was piled high with thick blankets. Not that you really needed them. As an ice queen once said: the cold never bothered you anyway.

Not that your were like the ice mutant on the X-Men team; you couldn’t turn your whole body into movable ice. But you thrived when the temperature dropped. Which was also a downside. You could never go on missions in desert areas. No moisture in the air meant no powers for you.

When you met Loki, you felt all your dreams came true. You never had to worry about accidentally freezing him in your sleep. And with your mutation, his frost giant skin never harmed you. Not that he showed that form very often.

He had a sweet side to him no one else had seen and could make you feel like the most important person in the world. Loki also had the bad habit of cutting you into pieces, as if dissecting you would help him understand humanity better. All he accomplished was cutting into your self esteem.

You couldn’t understand why you were so upset. It was no secret that he would have outlived you without even trying. There were rumors, whispers that there were ways to make a mortal live as long as an Asgardian - er, frost giant. But since Loki never once brought it up in the two years you had dated, you just assumed there was no truth to them. And you hated the idea of looked so old and worn next to him in 50 years while he looked untouched by time.

There was a gentle knock on the door followed by a familiar voice. “Hey hon. Can we come in? We promise mortals only.”

You smiled and shook your head before opening the door to let Natasha and Wanda in. “Hey guys. Sorry about earlier. I just wasn’t in the mood to look at yet another gift from the dumbass.”

“Don’t worry about it. If anything, it’s been the liveliest we’ve seen you in months!” Wanda sat down on your bed and immediately wrapped a blanket around her. Nat followed suit. Both of their breaths were visible.

“Well, sorry about the temp in here, then.” You chuckled as you sat back down. “I guess I don’t have many guests in here as of late.”

“It’s ok, really. Your comfort is number one right now.” Nat tried to reassure you. “Besides, we were hoping to get you to leave your igloo tonight.”

You laughed again. “Ok, ok. I get it. My powers have been out of control lately. Every time I think I’m back to normal, Loki comes around and fucks it up all over again.”

“Want me to kill him?” Nat asked, deadpanned.

“Thanks, but that won’t help. My problem is I still love the asshole. And I don’t even know why! Yeah, he could be really romantic at times and-“ you paused and gave the girls a side glance, "other reasons as well. I’ll spare you.”

“Thanks,” Nat pretended to gag. “I personally don’t see it, but I also had to battle against him at one time.”

You smirked. “Fair. But man, he could really be a douche at times. I don’t even think he realized he was doing it half the times. I’d do something and instead of being proud, he’d point out what I did wrong. Made me want to punch him in the nuts.”

“So why do you hang on?“ You furrow your eyebrows in confusion. "I mean no offence, but it seems like there a small part of you that still hangs on. Like I get you still love the guy, but what’s there that’s making you hang on instead of trying to move on?”

You sighed and leaned back into your chair. “Ok, so maybe I do know why I still love him. Loki…. has this side that no one but Thor and I have seen and I wish he would let it out around more people. He has an amazingly kind heart. Yeah, I know, I know.” You held up your had as Nat opened her mouth. “I literally just said the man could be a douche at times. The times he criticized me, it was for things that pertained to our job. I didn’t throw the knife right. My stance is too wide. I breathe too loud, the enemy will hear me. But when it came to everyday life…. he could’t praise me enough. He loved to watch me cook and listen to me sing. Snow days…” you sighed, “those were my favorite. But I wanted his approval for work. How could we work together on a mission when all I could think about was how I wasn’t doing something correctly? And then the mortality thing….”

“It all comes down then to if he can reign in how much he criticizes your work would it be worth it to try again when he’ll just outlive you?”

“Pretty much. But I doubt that will happen. That man likes to think he’s the best when it comes to fighting and war. Just because he’s a freakin’ god.”

Wanda looked over at Nat and nodded her head. “Ok, sweetie. Enough moping! We’re getting your out of here and clearing your head. So get dressed, it’s time for a night out!”

You couldn’t help the smile. “Yeah, maybe that is a good idea. If I clear my head maybe I’ll be able to control my powers better even if I never make a decision about Loki.”

“That’s the spirit!” They left you to change your clothes and you opted for dark black pants, black and silver boots, and a icy blue top.

You met the girls in the common area and Nat had opted for a stunning tight, black dress while Wanda wore a dress the same shade of red as her hair. The three of you piled into a car Nat had hired for the night and headed into town. Wanda picked out a very upscale club and the three of you managed to talked you way in past the bouncer and the incredibly long line. The place was packed but the three of you managed to make your way over to the bar to grab a drink before trying to find a table.

“Man, it’s hella packed in here! Maybe we should have invited Stark so we could abuse the VIP section.” You shouted over the music.

“You rang?”

You whirled around to find Tony at your side. “What are you doing here?”

“Night out, of course! I even brought my own lady.” Pepper looped her arm in his. “Actually, Nat told us what she had planned for tonight and we decided to tag along. We’ve been worried about you.”

“I know. I’m sorry.”

Tony leaned over and kissed your forehead. “Don’t worry about it, kid. We’re all here tonight.”

“We?”

Tony just smirked and held out his other arm. You couldn’t help the grin as you took it so he could lead you across the crowded club. People immediately parted out of the way of your entourage as you made your way to the VIP corner. There a mix of your friends were waiting for you: Sam, Steve, Bucky, Thor, Rhodey, Vision, and Maria.

“Young Mr. Parker sends his regards. He was dying to come here, but I wasn’t about to break the rules to sneak him in.”

“Glad to hear you’re trying to be a good influence on the kid, Stark.”

“I have my moments.”

You climbed into the booth next to Thor while Tony and Rhodey pulled over another set of table and chairs. “So you guys subjected yourself to an overly crowded club just because you were worried about me?”

“Of course, Dear ____!” Thor’s voice easily boomed over the music. “We are your friends and we care about you.”

You looked down at your drink as you spoke to Thor. “And what about your brother?”

“Loki sends his regards if you’ll have them. He acknowledges he has been an ass to you lately.”

A corner of your mouth twitched upwards. “It’s what he does best.”

“If I may, I would like to say something on his behalf.” You took a deep breath but nodded your head yes. “My brother is not the best at expressing his feelings. A trait, I am afraid, he learned from Odin. You do not have to give him a second chance, but I would hope you could at least have one last conversation with him before making your finally decision.”

You took a long gulp of your drink before answering. “Alright, I will. For you, Thor. You’ve always been like a brother to me. If this means so much to you, then I will.”

Thor’s face lit up as he smiled at you. “I was hoping you would say yes. Now we can get to your surprise!”

“My what?”

Before Thor could answer, the DJ’s voice rang out through the speakers. “This next one is a request. Dedicated to the Icy Monarch from the Frost Giant!”

You whipped your head to look at Thor. “Loki’s here?! What’s going on?”

Thor held up one hand. “Just listen, Dear _____.”

The song began to swirl around you:

I cut you into pieces Searching for your imperfections I had plans to make you whole But all my threads couldn’t stop the bleeding There’s nothing left, but I’m not leaving When all I know is you

You’re breath caught in your throat as you listened to the lyrics.

I’ve been looking for a way To bring you back to life And if I could find a way, then I would bring you back tonight I’d make you look, I’d make you lie I’d take the coldness from your eyes But you told me, if you love me Let it die

Your eyes stare right through me Ignoring my failed attempts to Breathe back life into your veins But I can’t start your cold heart beating You’re so far gone, but I’m not leaving When all I know is you

It was like your relationship and the last two months following the break up coming to life in front of your eyes. And then he walked into your line of sight and goddamn, he could always make a suit look good. Black suit, black shirt, a tie as green as his eyes, and a small black box in his hands. Your heart raced as he quietly walked up to you and set the box by your drink. Everyone at the table sat as still as statues, not wanting to disturb the scene in front of them.

You reached for the box and began to open it as the end of the song rang out:

And you left me more dead Than you’ll ever know When you left me alone I’ve been looking for a way To bring you back to life And if I could find a way, then I would bring you back tonight I’d make you look, I’d make you lie I’d take the coldness from your eyes But you told me, if you love me Let it die

Inside the box was a single gold apple. It was the oddest thing Loki had ever given you and you weren’t sure as to what it was. Picking it up, it was instantly clear that the apple was far lighter than you expected and softer as well. As if you could actually eat the golden fruit.

You raised your eyes back up to the Trickster God. “My dear, I have behaved horribly towards you. You loved me more than I ever deserved and I couldn’t even give you what you needed. If it is possible, I would like a second chance to prove I can be worthy of your love. And in exchange, I present the Golden Apple of Idun’s orchard.”

“I’m-I’m sorry. A what?”

“A golden apple. It is to be consumed by a mortal wishing to extend their life. Forgive me, I never brought them up before as I feared you would only want the apple. Not me. No one has ever wanted me for what I was.”

You looked up into his eyes. “I did. In any form you would give me.”

He knelt down by your side. “I know that now and I am a fool for not seeing it sooner. I know it is asking for the world, but I would love to give us a second chance. Because you are my world.”

Your lower lip trembled and you placed the apple back before closing the lid on the box. Loki’s face fell. “I cannot accept this apple.”

“Of course. I understand.” He lowered his eyes.

“Loki, please let me finish.” You placed your hand under his chin and lifted his face so he was looking at you again. “I will not accept this apple at this time. We first need to talk about the problems we have and if it’s possible to fix them. Only after we have gotten our footing back will I eat the apple for you.”

“So…”

“Yes, Loki. I will give us a second chance.”

Loki’s joy was clear on his face and beyond words. He stood up, pulling you with him, so he could engulf you in a hug. “I promise to make myself worthy of this chance. You are my love.”

“And you are my Frost Giant.” You gave him a quick kiss.

[beifongsss]

princess yue [sokka]

Pairing: Sokka x reader (one-sided)

Requested?: no and i’m so so sorry but i really needed to just write this bc this idea had been nagging me for the longest time and im really really sorry but the reader is the Yue’s older sister it just works with the idea im sorry they’re related to a character. also i’m sorry that the reader is female. Also, do they ever say what happened to Yue’s mom? I don’t think so, so in this fic she’s dead.

Summary: You’re the crown princess of the Northern Water Tribe. Yue, your sister has just turned 16 and is already betrothed and although you are slightly older, you are not. That changes when the avatar and his friends arrive, but not in the way you think.

In this story, Yue is her normal sixteen, Sokka is fifteen going on sixteen, and the reader is sixteen going on seventeen. So you’re a year older than Sokka. also this is short and not happy but i really needed to write this.

i’m sorry :(((

.masterlist.

~

You had struggled with your position as crown princess for as long as you could remember.

You were Chief Arnook’s oldest daughter, just one month shy of your 17th birthday when the Avatar and friends arrived. You had greeted the group upon arrival, welcoming them to your home.

As the future Chief, you had taken it upon yourself to give the Avatar and his companions a tour around the city and you had been immediately taken with the Southern Water Tribe boy. He had made many sarcastic and witty comments throughout the tour, causing his sister to continuously smack the back of his head. You had found them endearing, even teasing him back sometimes and causing his face to break out into a blush.

To say that he had been thoroughly surprised when you were introduced as the crown princess during Yue’s birthday dinner was an understatement, panic clear on his face as he remembered his earlier behavior.

He had later apologized for his language, only to be surprised when you laughed it off, finding his honesty and humor refreshing. As crown princess, and as a woman, you found it hard to interact comfortably with the members of your community. You were constantly battling with the Council, always trying to prove that you were worthy of the throne even if you were a woman.

The moment you knew that you were fond of the Southern Water Tribe boy was when he quite literally crashed into you one night as you took a walk around the city.

“(Y-Y/N)!” Sokka had yelped, cheeks blushing and eyes wide as he realized he had addressed you in a less than formal way. “I mean, Your Highness.”

You stared at him as he bowed. “Good evening Sokka. Please, bowing isn’t necessary and (Y/N) is fine.”

Sokka smiled as he stood up straight, an embarrassed blush spreading across his face. “What are you doing out here?”

“I find that taking long walks around the city helps to clear my head,” you admitted, looking away from the boy. “Would you like to join me?”

Sokka blushed brightly before speaking. “I’m actually on my way to meet with y-your sister.”

“Oh?” you replied, your eyes widening at his words. You felt your heart drop slightly and you found yourself silently chastising yourself for your feelings. You forced a smile onto your face before continuing on your way. “You should hurry then. Make sure to stay out of sight and have a good night Sokka.”

“Good night (Y/N)!” the handsome boy replied, already making his way to the bridge where Yue was waiting for him.

Your heart felt heavy as you walked back to the palace, both from knowing that Sokka was interested in your sister and because you knew that even if Yue liked him, she was now betrothed.

~

Your eyes burned slightly as you sat as your desk, shuffling through various Water Tribe scrolls. The council had been giving you multiple tasks to prove your worth as the next Chief and this week they had you learning about the way Water Tribe currency had changed over the centuries.

You leaned back in your seat, rubbing at your eyes before your door slammed open. You jolted up, relaxing when you noticed it was only Yue.

“Yue, what are you doing here?” you asked, standing up and walking over to greet her. You grew concerned immediately when you noticed her sobbing. “What happened?”

Yue threw herself into your arms and you immediately embraced her, guiding her over to your bed and sitting down.

“I-It’s nothing,” Yue hiccuped, trying to calm herself down. “It’s s-stupid.”

“It can’t be stupid if it’s making you upset,” you chided softly, getting up and closing your door. “Now c’mon. What is it?”

Yue didn’t speak, instead reaching under her coat and pulling out her betrothal necklace. You nodded in understanding before sitting back down. “I take it Sokka found out?”

“How do you know about Sokka?” Yue gasped, looking up at you.

“He told me!” you cried, raising your hands in defense. “I bumped into him on my walk and I asked him to join me but he declined and said you were waiting for him.”

Yue looked at you for a few seconds before crying out. “You like him!”

“No I don’t,” you replied, feeling a blush creep on to your cheeks. “You like him.”

“Fine, I do,” Yue stated, crossing her arms as a smile spread across her face. “But so do you.”

“It’s not a big deal,” you said, trying to tell your sister that you didn’t plan on making a move on Sokka.

“Yes it is! You never like anyone!”

You winced lightly at her words, knowing she was right. “It doesn’t matter Yue. We are not talking about me. We are focusing on you.”

Yue’s face fell as she remembered why she had come to you in the first place. “You’re right. He found out I’m betrothed and I really like him but I can’t be with him.”

“That’s unfair,” you said softly, your heart breaking as you looked at your sister. “He really likes you, you know?”

“He does?” Yue asked, looking up at you. “Aren’t you upset? You like him as well.”

“I’m not,” you replied, wrapping your sister up in a hug. “I care about you so much more than I’d ever are about some boy. And yes, he really does like you.”

Silence engulfed the two of you as Yue quietly let our her tears and you thought about how to help her. You closed your eyes as you came to a possible solution, tightening your grip on Yue.

“It will all work out. I know it.”

~

The next day, you found yourself in the Council’s chambers, dressed in your formal Water Tribe clothes. Your father, Chief Arnook, stared at you uncertainly as he thought about what you had told him the night before. To his right sat Hahn, Yue’s betrothed.

“Why have you called us here?” Anheir, the Council’s leader, asked.

“I have come with a proposition,” you replied, walking up the Council and bowing deeply. “One that I think will please everyone.”

Anheir looked at his fellow members before glancing at your father, who simply nodded once. “You may continue.”

You didn’t get a chance to speak as voices filled the hall.

“...and here is the Council’s hall,” Yue spoke. “This is where they give their judgement whenever anyone needs to settle something.”

The hall went silent once again as Yue turned away from the group she was with and faced you. You nodded at her before glancing at her companions, bowing when you noticed Aang, Katara, and Sokka.

“I’m sorry father,” Yue said, bowing as she faced the Council. “I wasn’t aware there were any proceedings going on today.”

“It’s quite alright my dear,” Arnook replied swiftly. “I’m afraid this was something very last minute.”

“What’s going on?” Aang asked, eyes wide as he looked around the grand room.

“We are settling an important matter concerning the crown princess,” Anheir said before motioning to the empty seats beside Hahn. “Perhaps the Avatar would like to sit and observe how our Tribe’s Council operates? Your companions are more than welcome to stay.”

You closed your eyes and inhaled sharply as they agreed. You shook your head slightly as Yue sat down, shooting you a confused glance. You hadn’t wanted her here during your proposition.

“Now Princess (Y/N),” Anheir addressed you once more. “You may proceed.”

You nodded once, glancing at your sister before speaking. “As you know, I am next in line for the throne, and in a little more than a year I will be ascending and taking my father’s place.”

The council exchanged disapproving looks, which didn’t go unnoticed by the Gaang.

“What’s their problem?” Sokka grumbled almost imperceptibly as he leaned closer to Yue. The princess didn’t flinch but acknowledged his words with a whisper of her own.

“Our tribe is very traditional and they do not believe that a woman, much less one who isn’t betrothed or married, should lead us,” Yue replied, her eyes shifting towards Sokka. “They don’t want her to be in charge.”

“That’s dumb,” Sokka replied, shooting a glare at the Council. Yue smiled softly at his response.

“I am also aware that you disapprove of me leading the Tribe. Please don’t deny it, I’ve heard what you’ve said to my father,” you continued, your lips twitching when you heard Aang and Sokka try to choke back their snickers. “That is why I have come to you today to offer you a solution to ease your worries.”

You took a deep breath before continuing, “I believe that the Council will feel much more at ease if I have a husband ruling at my side; someone to help me when making important decisions that pertains to the good of our Tribe. I do not think I will be able to find a husband within a year, especially not with my duties as crown princess. This is why I am here today to ask you to let me take my sister Yue’s place in her betrothal.”

The room erupted into gasps at your words. The Council looked bewildered, exchanging surprised looks with one another. Katara was also surprised at your words, letting out a gasp. Aang and Sokka’s jaws dropped and Yue stood up, making her way over to Arnook.

“Father! You can’t possibly allow her to do this. It’s my betrothal,” Yue cried out. All her life she had looked up to you for being independent, claiming that you didn’t need a man by your side and refusing every betrothal that had been proposed by the Council. You had always told her that you would be the first single, female Tribal Chief. You were everything she had ever wished she was.

“Sit down Yue,” Arnook said, his face remaining impassive. “This is the Council’s decision.”

Frowning, Yue walked back over to Sokka, but didn’t sit.

“What happened to being an independent, powerful leader?” Anheir finally asked, a mocking edge to his voice. Your jaw clenched at his words and you tried to control your temper. Meeting Anheir’s gaze, you threw yourself to your knees.

“Forgive me Council,” you stated, keeping your head bent down as you forced the words out. You were doing this so Yue could be happy. “I was wrong. There could never be a powerful female leader and I was foolish to think I could change that.”

“(Y/N), you can’t possible mean that!” Yue cried out, beginning to step forwards before she was held back by Sokka, who gave her a subtle shake of his head.

“Indeed you were,” Anheir said, agreeing with your statement. “We agree with you. You don’t have what it takes to rule alone. We approve your request. From here on out, Princess Yue’s betrothal to Hahn is no more that is, if the men agree as well.”

You shifted your gaze to your father who still remained emotionless. He met your gaze and you nodded your head, sealing your fate.

“I have no objection,” Arnook said. “I wanted her betrothed to Hahn when she first turned sixteen. I am proud to see she has finally come to her senses,”

“Father, don’t do this,” Yue begged once more. She was promptly ignored.

“What about you Hahn?” Anheir questioned, turning to face the handsome young soldier.

Hahn walked over to you and bowed deeply before straightening, a proud smirk on his face. “It would be my honor to marry the beautiful princess.”

He picked up your hand and pressed a kiss to it. “I will get started on your necklace right away.”

“What about me?” Yue cried out. “Don’t I get a say in this?”

“Be quiet Yue,” you cut in sharply, your face set in a harsh glare. “Your opinion doesn’t matter.”

Yue’s face fell immediately at your words, tears springing up in her eyes. She turned away from you, running from the hall as the Gaang went after her.

~ “I don’t understand.” Yue spoke sadly as Katara gave her a hug. “Why would she do that? She never wanted to be betrothed and if she did she always said that she wanted it to be on her terms.”

“Maybe she did this for you,” Katara said softly, trying to calm the girl down.

“I did.”

Everyone turned to face the door, where they found you leaning against it. You were still dressed formally, having followed Yue immediately after the Council had dismissed you. You walked closer, sitting on Yue’s other side and wrapping an arm around her when Katara stood up.

“What?” Yue asked, looking up at you through her tears. “Why?”

“It was the best logical course of action,” you commented with a shrug. “At least this way the Council is satisfied, I am no longer at risk of losing the throne, and Hahn gets to live out his weird power hungry fantasies.”

Yue chuckled at your words. “But now you’re engaged. To Hahn! You hate him!”

“I don’t hate him!” you exclaimed, earning a challenging look from your sister. “Okay he’s not my favorite person but at least he’s nice to look at. That’ll make being married to him somewhat easier. Besides, you would’ve been miserable with him.”

“But you had a chance at happiness,” she countered. “You could’ve had a chance with Sokka!”

The boy in question choked on his spit at Yue’s words, looking at you with disbelieving eyes. Katara’s jaw dropped, not believing that his brother had somehow managed to woo not one, but two princesses. You blushed as you swatted Yue, silently berating her for exposing your feelings.

“No, he likes you. Even if I had a chance with him I would never forgive myself for being with him when I knew you liked him,” you spoke softly, your gaze not leaving Yue. “That’s why I had to do this. Without Hahn, you’re free to be with whoever you want. I already cleared this up with dad. Your happiness means the world to me Yue, and as long as you’re happy, I will be the happiest woman in the world.”

Yue looked up at you with glittering eyes before engulfing you in a hug. “Thank you. I just wish you had told me before you did it.”

“You would’ve told me not to,” you laughed, hugging her close. “But this is the happiest I’ve seen you since mom died.”

The two of you hugged tightly, Yue finally understanding why you had gone ahead and butted in to her engagement. The silence didnt last long however, as Sokka spoke.

“I’m sorry to interrupt,” he began, a small smile spreading across his face. “But both of you like me?”

Katara rolled her eyes and smacked the back of his, causing everyone to laugh. “Shut up Sokka.”

“Ow!”

~

once again i apologize a million times for making the reader yue’s sister but this idea had been bugging me for so long and i really had to write this out.

~

taglist!

@mywigglybaby​, @musicalkeys

[bedbellyandbeyond]

Wolfman’s Dilemma

(Story Post)

Dax was still at work when Wano called him, so he called the doctor’s office to ask if someone could check on his partner before he could get home. Reid volunteered to make a house call as soon as he heard about Nathan's incident. Nathan was still shaken by his partial transformation. He had gone to lie down after a shower like Wano had suggested, but he couldn't rest well. When Reid did arrive, he sat with him in his bedroom and Nathan had a hard time explaining to the doctor exactly what happened because he didn't want to try to remember. “Well, this all sounds like it would be pretty upsetting, so I understand this isn't easy for you,” Reid comforted, after receiving all the details he could. “But if you think about it, this could be a sign of progress.” “No, I know…” Nathan mumbled, wrapped up in a blanket. “I just don’t like the connotations. If my anger is what made that happen, then that could mean I'm very dangerous. More so than ever.”

“We don't know that,” Reid stated, rubbing Nathan's arm. “We don't truly know what caused any of this to happen and unfortunately, yourself and Wano were the only ones witness to it.” “So, then what? Am I supposed to try to make it happen again?” Nathan asked. “Well, not if you don't want to,” Reid explained. “But, it might be best to keep an eye on you for a week or two in case it does occur again involuntarily.” “So, you mean staying at APID,” Nathan sighed. “Even when I'm off wolf cycle…” “I consulted with Dr. Aias before coming here and that was their suggestion, yes,” Reid admitted. Nathan rubbed his forehead. “I guess it's not really a cycle if I start turning into a wolf thing in the middle of the day on off days…” “Again, it's your choice, Nathan,” Reid insisted. “Camilo's coming by as well to talk to you as this pertains to your case. He might make other suggestions for you.” Nathan nodded. His phone went off and he checked it. “Dax just got off work and he's coming straight home…” “That's great,” Reid commented. “And your language suggests the relationship is pretty serious. I'm glad it's working out.” “My language?” “Aye, you said he's coming home,” Reid said. “You have separate residences, don't you?” “Yeah, well… I can't handle the twins on my own, it's too much, and I don’t know what I was thinking when I offered for Wano to stay here,” Nathan said. “Dax has been…the glue keeping this hell house together and keeping me from going insane. I don't know what I'd do if he wasn't around.” Reid smiled and shook Nathan's shoulder enthusiastically. “See? I knew you two would be good for each other. Aren't you glad you went for it?” Nathan chuckled lightly. “I suppose I am… I guess I just didn't feel like I deserved someone new yet… And I feel bad dragging him into this whirlwind of a life I have right now.” “Nathan, you're a bit too selfless,” Reid commented. “Dax wouldn't be with you if he didn't want to be. The people around you are around you because they like and care about you.” “I know, I know… I just...” Nathan sighed. “No, you're right.” “Anyhow, I can stay until Dax or Camilo arrives, however long you'd like,” Reid said. “Wano seems to be doing well with the twins. Is he a good babysitter?” “Yeah, they love him,” Nathan said. “I think it might be maybe the depth of his voice? I don't know. He follows instruction well enough and he loves to play with them. Maybe he'll be a good dad… Did he explain why we got into an argument?” Reid nodded slowly. “Aye… Trying to make a wee one before he's gone. I can understand your frustration. Wouldn't want that happening under my roof, if I had one.” “Right? I get that he's an adult and he can do what he wants, but also I'm partially responsible for him because I'm letting him stay here,” Nathan said. “If Jeffrey gets pregnant, I have no idea how that'll complicate Wano's case to stay here.” “Well, at the end of the day, these really are things that should concern Wano himself more than you,” Reid reminded. “You’re doing a really nice thing, letting him stay here with you but you don't have to shoulder all his problems. They're not yours and you're not his father.” “I know, you're right,” Nathan sighed again. “I just want to see him get to stay here. He's worked hard to stay. He's improved a lot.” Reid smirked as he observed Nathan. “You know, the wolf might have something to do with this. Sometimes animals who've just given birth will adopt newborns of other species, even if they're an animal they'd usually pray on, like a lioness adopting an oryx, or vice versa, a chicken adopting a kitten. Only for you, your adopted newborn is a full-grown adult alien from another planet.” “I can't help it if he has the emotional intelligence of a twelve-year-old,” Nathan said. “But it's even more reason he shouldn't be having a kid!” “You can't make that decision for him, though,” Reid said. “And you can't make that decision for Jeffrey either. At the very least, one of them has experience as a parent…” “From what I've heard though, his cousin does most of the caregiving…” Nathan mumbled. “Och, you need to stop concerning yourself with them,” Reid said. “You can put your foot down about what goes on in your house, but outside of that, you can't be meddling in their business.” Nathan nodded. “…I bet Jeffrey’s pregnant already anyway…” Reid rubbed his back. “Come downstairs for when Camilo arrives. Eat something. I’d like to see the wee twins again. How're they holding up?” “They're alright…” Nathan said getting up. “I probably should feed them, but Grace refuses to nurse unless she's a pup, but she bites me…” Reid followed him. “Do you pump?” “I do, but they refuse to take bottles from me,” Nathan said. “Dax? Wano? No problem because they have no other choice. But me, all they want is tit. Am I going to have breasts my whole life now?” “We can worry about that later, and you can take my word from personal experience that breast tissue can be dealt with,” Reid assured, chuckling a bit. “Ah, right… Yeah, I guess,” Nathan considered. “Anyway, Wano should be playing with the twins right now… He lets them bite his arms and legs and stuff because he thinks it'll toughen them up but I'd rather he didn't normalise it… I'll show you.” “Aye. Please.” They got downstairs and Nathan broke up the playfighting so Reid could take a look at the twins. They both turned to human for him which he was a bit unhappy about because he really liked to study their animal sides, but he acknowledged that it was good training that they remain human in the presence of strangers. Camilo arrived a little later and they talked in the kitchen while Wano showed off the twins to Reid in the living room. Nathan explained everything he could to Camilo about what had happened. “That is a very new development indeed,” Camilo commented as he took notes into a tablet. “We haven't seen any kind of half transformation like this… Have you asked Nari yet if he knows of werewolves like that?” “He's away on a vacation right now,” Nathan said. “I don't want to bother him with this at all until he's back…” Camilo nodded. “I understand… Well, right now since this is a one-time incident, I don't know that there's much we can do. But, now that we know it's possible, I'd ask you and those around you to video document this type of transformation if it should happen again.” “So, you don't think I should be watched?” Nathan asked. “Well, I don’t know that it's absolutely necessary, but if that's what you want, you could stay a few nights at APID,” Camilo considered. “It's up to you.” Nathan shook his head. “I want to stay home... But only if you really think it's safe.” Camilo patted Nathan's arm. “You didn't hurt anyone, you just transformed. Since having your wolf cycle nights at APID, we haven't observed any violent behaviour at all, only a bit of protective behaviour towards your kids.” “Dax said the wolf bit Dr. Aias once,” Nathan said. “Ah, well yes, but that was just because they needed to draw blood,” Camilo acknowledged. “Wasn’t that the night of Wano’s incident?” “Yes, it was…” Nathan sighed, not enjoying the thought. “Right, it’s possible you could tell your friend was in trouble that night and you were restless. Wolves have exceptional sense of smell. You might’ve smelled blood,” Camilo hypothesised. “You're really okay. Seems as long as the wolf is well fed, they don't hunt.” Nathan exhaled. “Okay… Yeah… Thanks.” “Don't worry,” Camilo assured him. “Your support system is great, and we aren't afraid of you. Everyone is here to help you.” “I get it, I just wish I knew someone else who was going through all this like me,” Nathan said. “I at least had Kent for a hot second, but now I have no one… My kids aren't even the same as me They just transform whenever they please.” Camilo pursed his lips. “Well, maybe you're not alone…” Nathan perked up. “Is there someone else? With APID? Another werewolf? Or were-anything?” “Well, no… I just meant, um…” Camilo waved a hand. “Well, you know, there's the wolf we caught on your bodycam that night.” “Oh." Nathan frowned. “But they attacked me. I still have the scars.” “Yes, but if we tracked them down, we might have answers for you,” Camilo suggested. “Well, maybe… I don't, know. I feel like we tried that lead and it got me nowhere. And pregnant.” “Yeah…” Camilo folded his hands. “But if we could find someone with a similar affliction as you willing to talk with you, you would want that, right?” “Yes, if it's possible, yes,” Nathan said. “The only person I know that's as close to my condition as me is Dax but his thunderbird situation is still very different.” Camilo nodded. “Okay. Can you come in for a meeting tomorrow? I want us to talk more about your options, but I also want to consult with Korsgaard about some stuff beforehand.” “Yeah, for sure,” Nathan said nodding. “Honestly, I talk to you so much, I forget Korsgaard’s my actual case worker…” “Yeah, he does do a lot of work behind the scenes, but he's looking into potentially retiring soon,” Camilo admitted. “I think he's holding out until Maya's grown.” “I get it,” Nathan said. “Do you think you'll take his place?” “Honestly, I don't really know,” Camilo said. “I mean, I like it, and it's been great work while I've been in school, but once I finish my PhD, I might look around… I want to stay at APID though.” Nathan smirked. “PhD classes, a job like this, and a baby at home? Are you sure you're only human?” Camilo smiled sheepishly and rubbed his neck. “I'm just trying my best…” “I could never…” He motioned to the living room where Wano was flexing with the animal twins gnawing on his arms. Reid was just sitting by, taking notes of his observations. “I can't imagine trying to get through my masters when I was your age if I had these two on my hip…” “Should we do something?” Camilo asked worriedly. “No, Wano likes it,” Nathan said. “He calls it ‘warrior play’. It's been really difficult trying to train bite inhibition and I’m so tired all the time, it's easier to just let them do whatever exhausts them…” “I see. It'll take time,” Camilo said. “Have you talked to Yori about it? They might not be exactly the same, but there's likely some issues he's had with the triplets.” “Yes, trust me, Dax has learned a lot from having the triplets in his class,” Nathan recounted. “The very first day of school, Skylar bit a kid that touched her granola bar and later Marco ate his own homework. We've been in contact with Yori's partners, because the kids just seem to fall in line for Yori without much trouble.” “Oh, I see…” At that time, the front door opened, and Dax came inside looking worried. “Nathan, I’m sorry I couldn't leave sooner!” Nathan got up from his seat and went over to hug Dax around the waist. “It's okay. Reid and Camilo have been here to talk to me.” “Ah, good! Are you alright?” Dax looked over his partner for traces of the transformation described to him over the phone. “You look okay, but are you?” “Yeah, I'm fine now,” Nathan said. “Talking to these guys has calmed my nerves a lot and the transformation didn't last more than a minute.” Dax nodded. “Good.” He kissed his forehead. “I’m glad you're okay. And the twins are alright?” “Yep, they're still their usual selves,” Nathan said, motioning to the pair now climbing onto Wano's back and jumping off like goat kids. “I think if anything, my transformation made them excitable.” “That probably makes sense, I think,” Dax said. “Reacting to your transformation I mean.” Reid got up and came over. “Nathan, if you don't need me any longer, I should probably head out.” Nathan nodded and shook Reid’s hand. “Yes, thank you for coming over on such short notice.” “Don't mention it,” Reid insisted. He patted Dax's arm. “Good to see you too, Dax.” “Likewise,” Dax said politely. “Drive safe.” “Aye.” Reid headed out the door. “I should probably get going too,” Camilo said. “Nathan, can we get you in for a meeting first thing at ten?” “Yeah, sounds good,” Nathan confirmed. “I'll see you there.” “Alright, see you,” Camilo said going to the door. “You take care of him, Dax. We're trusting you.” “Don't you worry, I'll be here,” Dax assured. Camilo smiled and waved. “Bye!” “See you tomorrow,” Nathan said as the assistant left. Dax went to see them off and then made sure the door was locked properly before going back to his partner. “Tomorrow, would you like me to join you?” Nathan looked at Dax and contemplated it. “Usually I'd say no, but if you can spare the time, I would appreciate it…” Dax smiled and kissed Nathan's forehead again. “I'll be there, don't worry.” “Thank you,” Nathan said. He took Dax's hand and squeezed it gently. “I appreciate you so much.” “Also on the phone,” Dax recalled. “Wano said you got upset because he’s trying to make a ‘legacy’ with Jeffrey.” He motioned the air quotes. “Do you want me to talk to him about that?” Nathan sighed, glancing over to Wano, now rubbing both twins’ bellies. “No… At least not tonight… Just let him be. It’s not our business at the end of the day. I made it clear though that he can’t have guests here without permission.” Dax nodded and gave Nathan a proper kiss this time. “You’re going to be alright.” “Thanks. I hope so…”

[sapphire374]

Soy Sol: Chapter 8 (Long Story Short, It was a Tough Day)

Wattpad Link

Ch.1 / Ch.2 / Ch.3 / Ch.4 / Ch.5 / Ch.6 / Ch.7 / Ch.9 / Ch.10 / Ch.11 / Ch.12 / Ch.13 / Ch.14 / Ch.15 / Ch.16 / Ch.17

Simón approaches the doors of the Jam and Roller. He pulls out a set of keys from his pocket and selectively picks the one with the J&R emblem engraved on it. He’s surprised when he grabs the doorknob and is able to open it without unlocking it himself. He walks in cautiously. “Is anyone here?” No one answers. Everything seems to be intact. He wonders maybe Pedro forgot to lock up last night?

He keeps walking around and gets a little startled noticing a person sitting in front of the main desk in the office. He shakes his head and rubs his tired eyes. Sitting there is Ámbar, crying in her arms.

“Linda que paso? What happened?” He worriedly rushes by her side. “It’s official, no one’s buying this place. No one wants it. Vidia is planning to tear it down and sell the land on its own.” More tears begin to cover her face. This place grew to be extremely close to Ámbar’s heart. After everything that happened with Sharon, the only constant in her life was the Jam and Roller. Being able to skate help relieve her from her anxieties and at least have one moment to be alone with the world. When she got offered the position to be manager, she couldn’t be more thrilled. Putting her heart and soul into setting up events for the gang and making sure everything was in place helped her feel more in control with her life. She was able to calm down the mess that surrounded her and pick up the pieces one by one. Hearing the official news coming from their lawyers was earth shattering for her, it was too surreal.

Simón didn’t know what to do in this moment. He ‘can’ say things will get better, but he doesn’t want to give her false hope, doesn’t want to sugarcoat it. He feels that saying an advice in this instant would only make things worse so he does what he knows best, he hugs her. A quiet display of showing you’re there for that person, always.

When they hear Pedro enter the cafeteria with Delfi, Ámbar and Simón get up from their chairs and go back to work. Ámbar wipes away all the tears with her sleeve and tries to put more makeup to cover her puffy skin.

After two hours pass by, Luna enters with Nina. “Wow Luna I can’t believe he stood you up,” Nina replies. Simón overhears Nina’s comment and hurries over to Luna’s side. “Is this true? Matteo stood you up?” Luna starts trembling and tries to find the right words to say but nothing comes out of her mouth. “I-I- …... okay how do I explain this. Yes, he left me alone all night till the restaurant closed. When I was sitting on the bench in front waiting for my taxi, he arrived. He tried to explain to me that he lost track of time because Viviana was bothering him on filming more scenes for their music video. Basically, it’s all mess. This whole relationship has turned into a mess. He lied to me by not telling me he was going to be with Viviana. If he had told me, it would’ve been okay, but he didn’t, which is why I’m upset. If you lie to someone about being with another person that means you don’t want them to know, which most of the time indicates you’re hiding a secret.” Luna sighs from her mouthful of words.

“Luna, I don’t want to make it sound worse but you’re right. If he lied to you about being with Viviana, there’s a chance he’s hiding something. There’s no necessity to lie about filming with a coworker…. Unless he has feelings for that coworker. Sorry you have to go through all of this.” Simón hugs Luna and tries to console her. “Amiga, remember these are all assumptions we’re making. We don’t know the full truth so maybe he was keeping everything a secret for a reason. We are still missing parts of the story,” Nina advised. “I don’t think so Nina. I think I should just start moving on and start focusing more on me and you guys of course. Oh, that reminds me. How are those wedding plans going Simón?” Simon widely opens his eyes in shock and covers his mouth with his hand. “No no no nooooooo”

“Que paso Simón? Why are you so upset suddenly?” Luna asked.

“Ámbar and I have been so caught up with issues pertaining to the Jam and Roller that we completely forgot to prepare the wedding and plan everything out.”

Luna lays her hand on Simon’s shoulder, trying to comfort him. “Well, you don’t have to worry about that anymore because I can help with whatever you guys need.” “Yeah, me too,” Nina tags along.

“Also, what issues do you guys mean when ‘pertaining to the Jam and Roller?’” Luna questions.

“You’ll find out soon, and by soon I mean around…. now.” Simón states while staring at the clock.

Ámbar leaves the office carrying a clipboard and heads to the stage of the cafeteria. “May I get everyone’s attention! I have some disappointing news to say. For a while, Simon and I have constantly tried to negotiate with Vidia, in hopes that this beautiful place stays as it should. Sadly, our wishes were not met and Vidia has officially announced that it will be tearing this place down and selling the land. Sorry to be the bearer of this awful news, I wish I didn’t have to. I wish that the Jam and Roller can stay for generations and generations on. This place has been the spot where many of us have shared experiences together and won a few competitions. It deserves to stay here, but the owners disagree.”

Everyone gasps in astonishment. Some covering their mouths, some leaving it open, some having visible tears coming out. Everyone reacts as if the place was already completely gone and become a deserted land. Eric (Jandino) enters the place. “Hey guys what did I miss?” Everyone’s red puffy faces glance towards him. “Oof tough crowd huh?” Nina is the first to respond and make the situation a little less awkward. “The Jam and Roller is going to be teared down.” Eric stays speechless and just nods in response.

“This can’t be the end of this place. Are we really going to give up so quickly? Vidia tried to sell it and we were able to convince them not to. This time could be the same,” Luna exclaims.

“This time is different though because the investors don’t need this place anymore and no one wants to buy a skating rink since it’s ‘old fashion’ and ‘not modern.’ This place was in the market for months. Simón and I hoped someone would buy it but no one did. The only way for us to even have a chance to keep it is if someone purchased this place,” Ámbar refuted.

“That shouldn’t be so bad. All we have to do is find someone who is rich and has a kind heart,” Luna proudly states. “Luna are you insane? Where we are we going to find a kind, rich person? This isn’t a cartoon where stuff magically appears out of nowhere to help and save us. Yeah, that’s right Mickey, I’m talking about you and your “musketeer named Toodles,” we all know that’s fake.” Jazmin argued in front of her tablet camera.

“You are right... well on the first part. But I have an idea, maybe I can afford it!” Luna confidently states.

Ámbar gently brings Luna’s hopes down again. “I’ve already checked how much I have in the bank from the half you gave and doubled that and it’s still not enough for the place Luna.” Luna pouts, facing the ground. “Oh... well I guess never mind then.”

Delfi comes up with an idea. “Hey what about Matteo? He is rich now from being a star and all.” She then points to the man in sunglasses who had been staring at Luna ever since he arrived. Luna didn’t realize it till now. “If that’s what you guys want, I’ll buy it. How much does it cost?” Ámbar walks to Matteo. “I’m showing you in secret, so you don’t get embarrassed with your net worth not being enough,” Ámbar explained. “Oh please, it can’t be that bad.” Ámbar show’s him the clipboard and points to the bottom. Matteo begins to sweat. “Oh…... um guys I can afford it but then I’ll be broke with no where to live.”

“Great! I guess that means the Jam and Roller is saved then! Yay!” Jazmin yells out. “Jazmin we can’t force Matteo to do such a grand gesture either,” Gaston responds. “And why not?”

“Jazmin are you really asking that question after he said he would be broke?” Gaston added. “Yes, I don’t see the problem.” Gaston shakes his head and covers his eyes with his fingers from annoyance.

“You guys, it’s hopeless,” Ámbar announces and walks away, heading straight to her office.

Nina walks over to Luna’s side. “Why aren’t you so sad Luna? I mean of course I wouldn’t want you to be sad, but I thought the news would be devastating for you since you love this place so much.”

“This place isn’t getting teared down. At least not under my watch. I will find a way to keep this place the way it is. I will just need to do some research,” Luna persists. “Luna you never seize to surprise me. Whatever help you need, I’m right here,” Nina chuckles.

Eric approaches Nina and tries to comfort her. “Yeah, I bet this must be awful news for you guys. I know I wasn’t here long enough but one thing I know for sure is that this place is certainly magical.” Gaston views Eric close with Nina and he immediately rushes over. He places his arm around Nina’s waist. “Your Corazon will really stop going wowow if you keep flirting with my girl!” “Gaston!” Nina is shocked and tries to calm him down from his jealousy burning his own skin.

“Guys I think I’m going to head home. It’s been a rough morning and I barely got any sleep,” Luna waved goodbye to the gang. Gastón gestures over to Matteo letting him know Luna is leaving. Matteo runs over to the parking lot.

“Luna wait, can you give me a second to explain everything.” Matteo calls out to her. “Matteo, you’re the person I least want to talk to right now.”

“Luna I’m sorry. I’m sorry for arriving extremely late and standing you up. I’m sorry for not replying to all your calls and messages. I’m sorry I lied about the video with Viviana. I didn’t tell you though because I was worried you would get upset and think I remotely like the girl,” Matteo confesses.

“Hah so you’ve even noticed that she’s been extremely close and has been flirting with you,” Luna attested.

“What no? It’s not like that at all. You’re just jealous.” Luna turns around and displays a furious expression, this is the moment when Matteo noticed he had chosen the wrong set of words. “Jealous? That’s what you think of me? Maybe you’re just too blinded by fame to realize she’s constantly glued to you. Haven’t you noticed that when she talks to you, she gradually grows closer and closer to you and whenever you two go out she tries to hold your arm and pull you in tight. I’ve seen all the paparazzi videos so I know. Plus, she’s always calling you. She calls you more than your own manager does,” Luna argued.

“Oh please Luna, you’re just being delusional.” Matteo hears his phone ringing. He pulls it out and notices it’s Viviana calling him. “Yet I’m the delusional one, you have just become so full of yourself you can barely even notice what’s actually going on,” Luna walks away. “Wait, Luna please don’t go.” This time she doesn’t listen to him and keeps walking away without a slight turn of her head.

Luna’s Home

Luna enters her room and throws herself in bed. It’s barely Sunday and Luna feels a whole tornado of emotions have taken over her body. She doesn’t feel like doing anything, not even taking off her socks from wearing her shoes or wiping off her light makeup. She grabs her blanket and tries to fall asleep on top of her bed.

After an hour has passed, her mom knocks on her door and gently opens it. She sees her daughter sleeping and tries to lightly pat her. Luna’s eyelashes wiggle and brush against her skin. She slowly wakes up. “I brought you some breakfast, just thought maybe you haven’t eaten and were probably hungry.” Luna happily smiles. “Mom you know me too.” Monica smiles back too and hands her a tray of waffles with strawberries. Ah strawberries. The least she needed was to be reminded of “el chico fresa.” Her smile slowly disappears and turns into a frown.

“Hija, lately I’ve been seeing you all down in the dumps. Always depressed and never wanting to do much other than sleep. Are you okay? This isn’t normally like you,” Monica sincerely concerned, looks at Luna in the eyes.

“Everything just seems to be falling apart. Not just dealing with Matteo and I’s relationship ending but also the Jam and Roller too. Apparently Vidia is planning to tear it down and the only way for us to be able to have the chance to keep the Jam and Roller intact is to purchase it but none of us can afford such a high price.”

Monica nods and tries to conjure up an idea. Eventually one crosses her mind. “Luna, I’m shocked you didn’t think of this earlier, especially since it deals with your favorite hobby in ‘el mundo mundial,’” Monica says.

“What does skating have to do with this?” Luna laughs.

“Competitions. I know there’s some competitions out there in which the grand prize is a sum of money. Why don’t you guys enter one and try to compete.” Luna lets go of her fork and soon becomes energetic. “Mom that is genius!! Thank you thank you thank you!!!” Luna yells out and tightly hugs her mom.

“Well you know what they say, us moms are geniuses,” Monica chuckles. Luna hastily grabs her computer and retrieves to her bed. She opens up the laptop and begins typing and searching through. “Well Luna I guess I shall leave you to it. Glad I was able to help. Love you hija.” Monica kisses Luna’s forehead and leaves. “Love you too mom!”

After searching for hours, Luna is able to find a competition in which the grand prize pays most of the Jam and Roller price tag. When calculating the percentages, Luna notices that what’s left to pay after all the costs are taken up, is affordable for the whole gang. She jumps up and down all around her bedroom with content pouring out of her. The Jam and Roller finally has a chance to stay. Maybe things can even go back to old times when they all skated together.

[delusion-of-negation]

top 10 (ish) ridiculous or annoying FAQs:

(click at your own discretion)

1) "kids today rely on others to do everything"

ah yes, damn those participation trophies! if it wasn't for them my hands wouldn't be fucked, and I wouldn't need people to write for me. but seriously, stop reading boomer comics, and go outside to meet some actual young people.

2) "sus that a non-american says mom"

yeah, because it's clearly the superior version, and I'm not too patriotic to concede a defeat.

3) "sweaty, the victims of abuse by catholics are real people, stop appropriating their pain just because you want to hate catholics; plus teachers abuse people just as often anyway"

so firstly, I don't hate anybody. and secondly, regarding the fact that victims really do exist, [insert "of course I know him, he's me" meme here]; although I don't often talk much about the abuse I went through or what my religious beliefs are. but, more importantly, statements like "survivors are people" can be phrased like "some people are survivors", and when you're unable to act according to the latter (like when you don't even consider that somebody might be one) then you display a failure to recognise the former - you're projecting; a survivor can't be appropriating their own pain, but you can be appropriating it to silence one. and thirdly, teachers do abuse - the problem isn't and has never been purely religion, rather that abuse is often done by somebody in a position of trust, power, and familiarity; and that the lack of a global minimum enables totally legal abuse on top of the illegal stuff. people with access and respect have more opportunity to abuse than those without, and that goes for teachers too. but, once again, you can be appropriating the pain of survivors to deflect and silence people. please remember this before you say that shit.

4) "get help/therapy"

way ahead of you - years ahead of you. but it's not magic - people who say this often act as if you'll start behaving differently overnight. not only are some things simply beyond the ability of talking therapy to completely rectify, it also takes time and has to be selective. you've got to pick your priorities, and that's definitely not whatever ship or joke you're mad at me about today. therapy is a slow, arduous process that can't guarantee results - it isn't "anti-recovery" to recognise that, it's honesty. while I've been in therapy for a long time, it is not necessarily going to change whatever you don't like about me - whether that's because it can't, because my focus now is on more important or urgent things, or because I don't want to change that.

5a) "tell your family you ship incest, see how that goes; normal people find it disgusting"

actually, some know, and they're fine with it. in fact, one prefers sibling pairings in fiction to all other dynamics because, to paraphrase, "it's a deeper level of messed up co-dependence". so unfortunately for you, my remaining family (by which I mean those not dead or cut out of my life after abuse and so forth) actually are able to distinguish between fiction and reality. plus, my reasoning for caring if they find it gross or not pertains only to recommending books and such - their opinions do not dictate my tastes.

5b) "don't sexualise/appropriate incestuous abuse" and "I bet you enjoyed being raped" and other attempts to upset me over 5a

firstly, as I've already said here, survivors can't be appropriating ourselves. in addition, you're not owed people's history or trauma - it's not okay to require people's personal information, or else you'll send anon hate and accusations of appropriation. secondly, I'm not sexualising our abuse (not just because I write horror, and so a lot of my writing is intended to be creepy, not sexy); these stories aren't about us, they're not us at all. entire dynamics/people (fictional or otherwise) aren't all going to be applicable to us or identical to us, just because they have something in common with us; they're not us and they're not accountable to us. thirdly, the fact that people send this stuff (attempting to trigger people's trauma over ships) is so much more worrying to me than somebody making our communal imaginary friends kiss. you're trying to hurt people. and finally, to the "I bet you enjoyed it" crowd (if you're at all serious): do you think you'd enjoy being in a real zombie apocalypse, alone, afraid, and really at risk of being eaten alive? a fictional scenario does not feel remotely the same as a real one. this isn't rocket science - things that look like you aren't you; fiction isn't reality; don't send anon hate. (edit: comparable "just leave me alone, I'm not hurting anyone" sentiments for yandere stuff, and anything else you decide I'm naughty for.)

6) "you'll be sent off to do manual labour once your communist revolution happens"

while I don't know why people think that I'm a communist, a dictatorial regime probably isn't going to want me to do manual labour. they're more likely to just shoot me; I'm useless and a liability. call me crazy, but something tells me that "ah yes, we shall give ze deranged cripple ze power tools" isn't the communist position.

7a) "they/them can't be singular pronouns"

yes they can, and they're used as such in both shakespeare and the bible. but you don't have to say this - I'm also okay with he/him, so you could've just used those and chilled out. also, do I look like somebody who views the rules of grammar as fully immutable and imperative?

7b) "enbies/aros/pan/etc aren't valid"

do you really think that you're going to change any hearts or minds by putting that in my ask box or under my funny maymays? chill out, it's not worth the effort - you could be planning a party (in minecraft) and having fun instead. it isn't worth my time to rant at everybody who's saying something isn't valid, updating how I'm explaining it as my opinions grow and general discourse around it evolves; I'm just who I am, somebody else is who they are - why bicker in presumptuous ways about if that's enough? it ultimately is valid, in my opinion, but that isn't an invitation to keep demanding that I debate. (edit: old posts of mine probably don't phrase things incredibly, on this or anything... I tried.)

8) "what are your politics?"

my politics are informed first and foremost by the knowledge that I'm not cut out to be some kind of leader - I don't want to be the guy who tells everyone else what to do, I just offer what seem to me like valid criticisms of how we are doing things now, and general pointers on the values and ethics that I would prefer to move towards. things like individual freedom, taking the most pacifist route where possible, trying not to give excessive power to small groups of people (governments or corporations), helping those in need even when they're not palatable, and letting me suck loads of dicks. but please refrain from decreeing me something - there's not enough information in what I said, so you'll just be filling in the blanks with assumptions. (edit: workplace democracy seems cool to me; benefits are good; fair fines and taxes; and the "sperm makes you loopy" saga: 1, 2, 3, and 4.)

9) "you're a narcissist"

no, I don't meet the diagnostic criteria. joking on the internet that you're hot doesn't make a person a narcissist. the fact that I've chosen to keep my actual self-esteem issues to myself is not proof that they don't exist - you're just not entitled to that information about me. but it's also not narcissism to really like how you look. (edit: don't throw labels around carelessly too.)

10a) "kin list?"

the fabric of the universe, a zombie, dionysus, maned wolf/arctic fox hybrid, a comedian, big gay, big rock, ambiguously partial insincerity. (edit: kin list may or may not be incomplete.)

10b) "kin isn't valid/that's just being insane"

haven't we established that I'm deranged, and that sending stuff like this on anon is simply a waste of your precious time? besides, I do not care if it's invalid or insane - it's fun, I'm happy. (edit: see 7b for my opinion on sending me yet another ask with "that's invalid" in it; I'm not in the mood to discuss the nature of validity.)

bonus: "it gets better" and "trigger list?"

as I've said before, things just don't always get better for everyone - sometimes things can't be cured or even treated, sometimes they kill you; in some cases it could get better if not for a blockade or lack of time. the world is messy. it needs to be more normalised to reassure or comfort people without relying on saying that their issue will get better or be cured. it does suck to be this ill, but it also sucks to be made out to be a lazy pessimist, just because I have the audacity to not play along. and as for the trigger list, I don't like providing people with an easily accessed list of ways to hurt my feelings or harm me - upsetting me is supposed to be challenging, and thus rewarding. if you want a cheat sheet then you're out of luck, I'm afraid.

bonus #2: "FAQ stands for frequently asked questions, it doesn't need that s at the end!"

yeah, I know, I just enjoy chaos and disarray.

bonus #3 (edit): "what are your disabilities and how exactly are they incurable and/or deadly?"

again, I don't tell the internet everything about me, especially when it poses a risk, especially not as an easily accessible list for you to refer back to whenever you feel inclined to hurt my feelings. that is understandably a sore subject. (edit: that includes physical health issues btw.)

bonus #4 (edit): "so we shouldn't be critical?"

if it wasn't clear from my answer about politics or my post in general, you can have opinions about things, and you can voice that. it's just not realistic to exist at extremes: to think that you alone should dictate what exists in fiction, or to think that people shouldn't be expressing disdain or criticism of any calibur. say how you feel about things, that's fine, but it's also fine if people find that they don't value your input. plus we're all flawed, we can all be hypocritical from time to time, we all get bitchy, and we all make mistakes, or even knowingly fuck things up. that's important to keep in mind, whether we're talking about the one being criticised or the one doing the criticising - poor choices of words, imperfect tone, or contradictory ideas are inevitably going to happen occasionally.

congrats on reaching the end! if you have, at any point, said one of these to me, you owe a hug to your nearest loved one (once it's safe).

edit: might add more links/bonus points in the future when I think of things, but it's late now. (sorry for links where prior notes in the thread have my old url, that may get a tad confusing; also, not all links are my blog or my op, since it is to illustrate points/vibes, not to self-promo.)