#because I panicked too
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As a computer engineer, I would like to add: all of this is very good advice, and you should do everything in your power to avoid wrecking your flash drives. If, however, a drive does fail,
DO NOT PANIC!
You can fix this! At home! For free, even!
Step one: download a forensic disc imager. Most of them will work, but I personally use Exterro's FTK Imager. It is a professional-quality imager that is widely used in criminal investigations and other high-stakes digital forensics (like, national security kind of stakes, so you know it's reliable), and is also completely free for personal use. It's a good idea to read the documentation or find some kind of guide on how to use it before we proceed.
Step two: download a data recovery program. Again, most will work. I use DiskDigger, which is a good free option, but it doesn't work with Apple operating systems, so any Apple users will need to find another option. (Try checking alternativeto.net, it'll usually give you some good options.) Again, figure out how to use it before continuing; it'll save you a lot of trouble later.
Step 3: using the imager from step 1, make an image of your defective drive. This will make a perfect bit-for-bit copy of your drive and save it as a file (usually a .iso). Depending on how big the drive is, this may take a while.
Step 4: unplug your drive. We're not going to touch it again until we've sorted things out.
Step 5: mount the disc image you made in step 3. (If you aren't sure how, just search "mount .iso" our whatever file type you got in step 3.) From your computer's perspective, it's exactly the same as plugging in your drive. We'll be working with this virtual drive so that, if we mess something up, we can just go back to step 3 and try again.
Step 6: make a folder to put your recovered files into. Not strictly necessary, but it's helpful for keeping things organized.
Step 7: now you can use that data recovery program from step 2. (Exact details depend on the software you chose, but it's usually pretty self-explanatory.) Again, this'll take a while for larger drives. Also, they can sometimes struggle with more obscure file types
Step 8: sort through the output. While the contents of the files should be fine, the file names are probably gone (it's a side effect of the error that most commonly causes drive failures). Unless you had a really catastrophic hardware failure, or did something dumb with drive partitioning (like I did), you'll probably only have lost one or two files at the absolute most. More likely, everything is fine.
Step 9: once you've made sure everything is accounted for, unmount your disk image and put it in a zip file (or other compressed format). You can save this file to another drive, and come back to it later. (Alternatively, you can just delete it if you're sure you have everything.)
Congratulations! Barring some edge cases, you've completely recovered your data! For free!
At this point, you can reformat your hard drive. Be absolutely sure of the drive you're formatting, though; formatting the wrong disk can be very hard to recover from. If you're not comfortable doing this (I don't blame you tbh; it's kinda scary sometimes even for me, and I'm a computer engineer), ask a more tech-savvy or otherwise more confident friend to do this for you. Once this is done, you can put your files back onto your flash drive and use it as normal.
This works for any drive btw, not just small flash drives; I had to do this for a 2 terabyte external ssd where I accidentally overwrote the first 1.5ish gb, including the partition table (the file that holds stuff like folder structure, filenames, etc.). (I lost everything in that first chunk, but recovered everything else on that drive and then some (I found a bunch of album covers for albums I've never listened to, for example, and I have no idea where they came from).) The only exception is if you're trying to recover an hdd with a broken platter; once one of the those plates breaks, you're pretty much out of luck. If it's any other kind of drive, though, you'll probably be able to do it at home for free. And, in the event that you can't, that's when you take it to a professional -- and tell them what you've tried, they'll really appreciate it.
Side note: if you suspect that your drive failed due to a virus, don't do the recovery on your main computer. This is another case where it's probably better left to professionals, but you can still do it yourself. If you do, either get a cheap spare computer that you don't mind getting infected, or at up a virtual machine. I will note that even with these protective measures, this is still a bit risky, so I'd only recommend doing this if you really know what you're doing.
PSA- TAKE YOUR FLASHDRIVE OUT OF YOUR COMPUTER
If you are not using your flashdrive to actively back things up- TAKE IT OUT OF YOUR COMPUTER! DO IT NOW! RIGHT. NOW.
Yesterday one of my flashdrives stopped working. My mom took it to our local computer guy to find out what was wrong with it and the guy said the the ONLY way that it could POSSIBLY (not definitely, POSSIBLY) be recovered is by sending it to a FORENSICS COMPANY that charges NINE HUNDRED AND FIFTY DOLLARS ($950) as a flat rate for this service. IF the stuff can even be recovered.
The computer guy said that he has seen all types of flashdrives, no matter the quality, fail because people don't know that they need to take them out of their computers when they're not using them. A few of the things that can happen are the flashdrive can overheat or a virus could destroy it if your computer happens to pick up a virus.
I have thousands of pictures and videos on that flashdrive, precious, precious memories of kids I've worked with that I may never see again in my life and now I might have lost them because I didn't know to take my flashdrive out of my computer when I'm not using it. The cute pictures of my three new kittens I've been posting? On that flashdrive. Memories from holidays and birthdays and camping adventures might be lost forever.
TAKE. YOUR. FLASHDRIVE. OUT. OF. YOUR. COMPUTER!!!!!!
(please for the love of all that is good share this so other people don't have it happen too)
#also I will never judge anyone for panicking in situations like this#because I panicked too#big time#just know that not all is lost#and that there is always hope#which also applies to life in general and not just drive failures tbh
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Tender.
(Simon Riley × Reader)
He closes the door behind, as a pair of hands reach out to touch his shoulders, before they softly tug on the top of his attire. A sigh leaves his lips when you peel the heavy layer off him, freeing him from the stuffy suit.
You smile at him as he loosens his tie, and you hold out your hand to take it.
He watches you as you fold his suit, and set it down on the stool. Leaving it there to be laundered in the morning.
It's a sight he never thought he'd see, and the one he never got used to.
He wonders if Price ever thought the same.
"Never thought you'd settle down, Captain."
He saw his friend grinned, and his eyes crinkled with amusement.
"Never thought you'd bring someone either, Simon." He chuckled before he patted his back, "A beautiful one, too."
He quietly smiled, while his eyes searched for his lover unconsciously.
Lover.
What an easy word to say, for a tangled mess it left behind.
"Oh…" He heard his friend sighed, as he saw the bride bow down to let a tiny, curious hand touch the mantilla. "Look at her. What I won't do to see her smile."
He let out a snort when he saw his friend softened at the sight of her. Captivated. And tender-struck.
He'd call him mad, if he wasn't affected by it.
Just a little shift of his gaze, he found himself staring at a serene face—that is yours. His heart thrummed when you smiled at the little boy, who shyly hid from the bride behind you and his mother.
A sight that'd plague him for a lifetime.
He blinked, as her voice called him to the present.
"You've been quiet for a while now." She mused, "What's on your mind?"
He looks at her, and notes the way you press your lips together, waiting. "Nothing." Is all he said.
You didn't press it further, and he didn't know if it's alright to keep it that way. You knew that it was a lie, you both knew that, but you didn't show it. You understood him, and he yet again took advantage of it.
You give him a small smile, before you turn to the mirror.
That's when his silence falters.
He knew you didn't turn your back on him, and that you only looked away to unclasp your necklace. But his body tenses up, and compels itself to move towards her.
You're at a halt when his hands pull you into him all of the sudden, while his face is buried in the curve of your nape. "I love you." You heard him whisper, and for a moment, you almost thought he bit his tongue from stating further.
"I know." You murmured against his hair, as you stroked his cheek tenderly.
"I didn't deserve it." He spoke in a low tone—a tone that's reserved for confession.
"It's not your place to judge." You replied to him.
"I didn't love you the way you needed."
"You did. A million times in fact."
"I took your love for granted." His voice trembled when he spoke, "I took advantage of your kindness, and I made you think that you love me, even when—"
"Simon."
He didn't resist it when you took his hands into yours, as you stared into his eyes.
"I didn't love you against my will, I chose this myself." You told him, "You never forced me into this. If anything, I should be blamed for it, because I want you."
You give his hand a squeeze as an assurance.
"You're enough for me, Simon."
His eyes widen, before they soften up by your touch. He reaches up to hold your hand, and presses them against his face.
"You're too good for me." He said as he kissed you palm.
"Learn to live with it." You chuckled, "Because I'm not going anywhere."
"I wouldn't dream of it."
He recites the same promise, as he presses his lips against your finger. A kiss, that'll someday be replaced when he's on his knee.
#call of duty#cod#cod mw2#ghost cod#ghost x reader#simon riley x reader#fluff#crying because I wanted to write him but I don’t have a feeling for him. but he's such an interesting character#it's like a torture when you want to write it but you don't want to but then you want to#anyway#boy got panicked when he saw his friend get married#and realized he wants a family of his own too#like#ok bestie........ she'll probably say yes. have some courage
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they hated illario because he was a d1 yapper who was bad at assassinating people and was so annoyingly drunk and grief stricken at his cousin’s wake that viago had to drug him to shut him up (so what if he was also the guy who set his cousin up to die/disappear) . and also for working with the venatori and selling out the antivan crows i guess.
#illario as a guy who regretted his power grab but had no choice but to double down after lucanis came back is interesting to me btw#not entirely canon compliant to how the story is set up but yeah#even illario going WHAT . when he finds out lucanis is alive i am choosing to believe is him panicking because#zara did not in fact get him to die. illario thought he would die there. he did not. (what has he done) (shit. he has to do it himself)#and double on that . caterina didnt trust him enough to tell him#once again reminded he is dellamorte the lesser !#and still he knows hes not even a good crow. he couldnt actually kill lucanis. he cant actually bring himself to kill lucanis!#so ofc he spends the next act trying to manipulate him into leaving and for lucanis to believe its his own doing#and only when all of this fails (too soft to even kill his grandma btw) he has a public brawl w lucanis#that ends so badly for him that he is humilated in front of all the remaining talons#hes literally my babygirl#illario dellamorte#dav spoilers#dav#txt#rook: im sorry abt illario :/#viago: dont be. he had many unredeeming qualities from before he was a traitor
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Cross has trouble getting to sleep alone in his room and goes looking for a distraction, but ends up finding a solution for both of them
#UTDR#UTMV#Cross Sans#Killer Sans#Kross ship#(Kinda. It's up to interpretation)#Long post#I'm so sorry I didn't mean for it to be THIS much#I started this like a week ago -A-#Lies down and lets out a long howl it's finisheeeeeed#I could have just drawn them spooning and written the rest but noooo I love to do things the hard way#Anyway I think they should be bed buddies#The company helps Cross relax enough to sleep and the touch helps knock Killer out#Cross has to be big spoon because otherwise Killer's soul gets squished and it's too uncomfortable to sleep#Also I realised Cross and Nightmare are the only two in the castle who didn't have knock knock jokes in their backstory#I like to imagine Nightmare has had similar confusing interactions with at least one of them#Cross probably spends the rest of the day panicked that he overstepped a boundary or the others will make fun of him#Not realising that Dust and Horror have fallen asleep together many times#Or that Killer hasn't slept properly in weeks and he's in heaven#I'm NOT drawing a follow up so just imagine Killer coming to Cross's room the next night and finding every excuse to stay#Because he wants it to happen again but he has no idea how to ask (and also Cross seems kinda awkward about it)#Absolutely terrified that I spent my whole week off working on this and it might be not that great so I hope at least one person likes this
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if anyone is able to help me out i'd appreciate it, im still broke as hell. this month has been really difficult for me. i worked a total of 5 days all month and my bank account is in the negatives again after paying bills and getting some living essentials. i dont know how im going to pay my rent like this. i applied to a financial relief fund from a local trans advocacy group but it's going to be a few weeks until anything comes from that. if you have literally anything to spare it would help me out a lot 😭🙏 i feel bad ive been asking for help so often and i know everyone is struggling, im working on getting my life back in order but everything fucking sucks and is difficult right now :( even just spreading this is a huge help
pp: paypal.me/bewearrr vnm: tobias_leviathan
thank you 💕💕
#im looking for a new job but i dont think its gonna happen any time soon :( my current job is fucking miserable#im working on comms to the best of my ability but i can only draw so fast and i dont want to injure myself and its hard to stay motivated#when ur mental health is tanking so hard#my physical health has been tanking too like stress is getting to me so hard i fucking started a period out of nowhere#i havent menstruated in like 10 years legitimately#im so beyond stressed i have to stop myself from panicking all the time#i have a bunch of work coming up this week but its nowhere near full time#they schedule based 'on performance' when youre part time and since im only here one day a week and they put me at the station i hate--#the most its almost inevitable that theyre using this as a way to get me to not be there. i dont think my boss likes me very much.#bc then they can claim my performance isnt good BECAUSE YOU PUT ME ON THE TASK THAT IVE SAID FROM DAY ONE I DONT WANT TO DO
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just wanna say your art is PHENOMENAL! omfg your Commander Fox art has me screaming with how badass it is!
There’ll be no living with him now
Thank you so much!! This is sweet of you to reach out to say; I’m glad you’re enjoying!!
#OmPu Ask Hours#fan art#artists on tumblr#star wars fanart#commander fox#hc is that after approximately thirty-eight hours of straight sleep and crippling anxiety alternating for control of his person.#after defeating Sidious all together.#Fox came into his own as an insufferable winner#for about eighty hours until he reverted back to panicking/fight or flight because it cannot finally be over tho really can it#and see-saws for - honestly - years between the two after that probably#this got too deep I apologize#this is… so overdue and late I’m sorry#Repurposing GAR Armor AU
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AU where Jason's trauma around his Lazarus Pit's dip and his protective instinct as a sibling are stronger than his pride, so he snitches to Bruce about Damian and the tournament to the death Dick is letting him do.
Bruce: You are both grounded.
Dick: I'm an adult, B, you can't ground me!
Bruce: You encourage your brother in a death's tournament, try me.
Tim: I can't believe Jason is the responsible one.
Jason: Why are you surprised? Contrary to this clown, I know how it is to get a bath in the magic green goop, and it's not pleasant. Zero stars, would not recomand, and don't want any of you to go throught.
Steph: Aww, you love us!
Jason: Shut up!
Bruce: Thanks Jason for contacting me before Damian died.
Damian: *mumbling* I did died and came back on the Island, I'm fine.
Bruce & Jason: WHAT?!
#batfam#bruce wayne#jason todd#damian wayne#dick grayson#tim drake#stephanie brown#dc comics#my ramblings#I think about how Dick is fine with letting Dick fight in a tournament to the death everytime people say he is Damian's father#that was so irresponsible#and Bruce was panicking looking for Damian#it doesn’t matter that you trust him he is a teenager and that's a death's tournament Dick wtf#Rose fucking Wilson was there being like “this is not a good thing you should be doing normal teenager things instead”#I firmly believed that Jason was not fine with letting his brother fights to the death at 14#but the only reason he didn’t snitch is because he has too much pride to be the “good son that tell on the others to dad”#proof number 7264762584 that Dick is the problem behind these kids crime fighting not Bruce
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I know I've mentioned the Journal before, but this Saturday marks the one year anniversary of the day that I decided to play Alan Wake 2 for the first time, and my life changed for the better. I've used this journal to keep track of various gameplay stats (not pictured is the AW2 page where I'm literally keeping a tally of how many times I've played it which I'm in my tenth full playthrough); notes such as the stash puzzles, deer heads, etc though I still gotta finish the list of nursery rhymes and maps beyond cauldron lake; dreams I've had involving alan or anything remedy related; doodles and drawings (which is huge for me on a personal level cause I have this like. slightly traumatic experience with drawing early in my life that I won't go into detail here); and even a few poems I wrote...and I hadn't written poems since maybe high school.
This year has been rough on a personal level especially with work but like other cornerstone obsession's I've had, Alan's journey resonated with me on so many levels and gives me strength to keep going. The night I bought and played AW2 on a whim just because I saw a meme that "friendship ended with Silent Hill now Alan Wake 2 is my best friend" will go down as a tremendous turning point in my life. I was on a creative dry spell, I had stopped everything and never thought I'd start again, I had exiled myself from any sort of fandom space/interaction thinking I was poison, isolated myself to such a terrible degree from my family and friends, I was in such a deep depression and a new level of hopelessness than I had ever been in before, and I can just go on and on forever on how much this game means to me but the most important thing Alan Wake taught me is the beginning of the final draft, that realization that all is not lost, that my life is not just a loop of depression then fleeting joy then depression then fleeting joy then depression then fleeting joy (yes, sometimes I wonder if I'm bipolar) and his monologue sums it up best:
A fictional poet once said "Beyond the shadow you settle for, there is a miracle, illuminated." I will not settle for a shadow. I will find the miracle, through the night. It's not just victims and monsters; I see now, there are heroes as well. We can find our way through the darkness. We will break through the surface and crash into the light.
#alan wake#alan wake 2#mk.op#was gonna wait till saturday but i'm in a VERY deeply reminiscent mood right now going back and reading some old posts#(not just from this past year but on my original blog)#and idk i've been seeing a lot of fandom related posts on my dash lately and as mentioned i kinda like.#exiled myself from fandoms at one point because by my own fault I think I got myself into too deep of a parasocial relationship#and paired with even just the slightest hints of rejection i panicked. overreacted. multiple times.#never realizing it was likely all just in my head (again my fault)#and so when i got into AW i lurked and liked and never talked#but then one day in march i said fuck it and posted a cap of ilkka screaming about him being wet#and out of all the fandoms i've been a part of even though i'm just a super small part#this has been the best experience ever#and i won't let myself ruin it this time
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Han's bubble was hilarious today. He accidentally started a movement of stays quitting their jobs because of the weather💀
240614 🐿🫧:
-when I woke up this morning, the sun has already risen and I was melting
-i wonder if it's because it's morning that it felt like I was melting in the bed or if it's because it's hot so i opened the window refreshingly and just breathed in the air but I was shocked. Please just stay at home for today
-because I think it's a good amount of exercise/movement even if you just live today by moving enough to warm up the brain cells, I feel like moving more than that is a luxury
-those who commute to work or school today, please state it firmly that if the weather's this hot then, to let you watch movies and rest at home at least for a day
-say that rather than thinking of it as getting off work/school because it's hot to please think of as a temporary escape in order to find the beauty/romance in this weather for a day
-ah there're maknaes* too then please show them how you're the maknae on top like jeonginnie (*people who are the youngest in the workplace so they can't demand days off)
-who made maknaes not being able to say a thing
-what to do if you get fired? then I'll try to make a place for you in JYP as an honorary STAY employee. Don't worry.
-Payment terms are not in my control so I'll try negotiating it.
-no wait but that doesn't mean that you should just voluntarily leave the company/workplace that you're in
-pls stop for a bit
-what's with this (fast) execution
-no but when did I even lead/encourage you to resign your job, no wait y/n let's think of it again for a bit
-no but those who are students, you can't just come out, you have to listen to the lessons/lectures
-oh
-seems like the ball I shot scattered across everywhere like starlight and spread around
-well since I can't just make it as something that didn't happen
-I'll be escaping
-Fighting for today, i love you and fighting
Messages translated by skzwithstay8
Stays reaction on twt:
#i think all stays subscribed to him had the same idea when he said he'll get them a job at jype if they get fired for asking for a day off#and went yes king so true im quitting my shitty job and showing up to jype tomorrow to get employed :D#and he panicked lmfaoo#even on twitter in qrts everyone was saying how they're quitting because han promised them a job LMFAO#mfs he just said take a day off!! 😭😭😭#and then the way he dipped after making everyone unemployed 💀#come back sir we're jobless because of you#his starlight message was way too poetic for this situation haha#stray kids#skz#bubble#skz bubble#han jisung#han#kpop
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All Good Things Must End
Ray/gn!reader;
From the beginning, you trusted Ray with all your heart. He was the embodiment of your fairytale dream come to life. Your respite from all the unappealing troubles of the outside world. But all fairytales have an ending to them. And yours is not as happy as you expected.
CW: brief mention of violence, erratic behavior, depiction of a codependent relationship. This is a Danger Ray fic! Set during V's route. Loosely based on the 7th day outgoing call to V (11:51 AM, after the 'Provoke' chatroom).
Lovely dividers by @/saradika-graphics!
Ray was a good man. A kind man. A fragile man, even. His entire appearance would remind you of a beautiful but delicate flower. So starved for love and warmth, yet so sensitive to every harsh touch of the wind, even the slightest of pushes against its soft petals would make it start to wilt. A flower that needed nothing but some gentle care and love for it to come into bloom. And, of course, you were willing to give him just that. After all, why wouldn't you be? Ray has been nothing but kind and caring towards you, ever since you stepped foot into this strange place, guiding you along the way while holding your hand and not minding any of your clumsy mistakes. He was understanding. Attentive. Curious. Always checking in with you and eager to hear about your day. Never ignoring you or making you feel stupid if you didn't understand a thing or two.
No wonder you found it so easy to open up to him in your short time here. You trusted that he would do no wrong by you. Just as he promised.
At least... that's what you thought. And appearances can be deceiving. Oh, so very deceiving. Now, it felt downright humiliating just how much of a blind fool you really were. How stupidly determined you were to deny and rebuke anyone daring to challenge your views on Ray.
You loyally refused to trust Rika's musings about Ray's 'darkness' during your brief stay with her, dismissing them as nothing but her twisted philosophy that you couldn't even begin to comprehend. You impulsively denied V's numerous warnings not to trust in Ray's sugary words, reassuring yourself over and over again that surely his affections for you must be true and earnest. You turned your back on every nagging suspicion buzzing at the back of your mind during short moments of unrest. You knew in your heart that Ray was a kind, tender boy. He was simply confined to an environment that would exacerbate his worst traits.
And he was only human, right? No one is immune to harmful outside influences being forced down upon them. Anyone could end up in his place one day, even you. It was no reason for you to be hostile and distrustful of him.
Then again, maybe that was just your mind trying desperately to keep you calm in the midst of a horrible storm you found yourself being forcibly thrust into. After all, accepting just how truly bad and out of your control things truly were here... How utterly helpless and vulnerable you were, with no one there to come save you if you needed it... How trapped and isolated you were in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by nothing but miles and miles of lush mountain forests, with no civilization in sight...
Just the thought of it would make a heavy lump of acidic bile rise up to your throat. The sad truth is... Ray simply provided you with feelings of solace and comfort that some deeper, weaker part of you was so desperate for. Losing that was something you were not ready to face yet. He was there by your side from day one. He had a better understanding of you than anyone else did. Of course you would cling to his familiar presence for this brief feeling of stability you yearned for so gravely.
In retrospect, it was always a losing battle for you to try and win. You could have done better. You really, really could have done so much better. Yet it still hit you harder than a sledgehammer to the back of your skull, when the bitter reality has finally reared its ugly head to you, without any regard for your fragile heart.
You resent yourself for hitting that call button despite your gut screaming at you not to. You were already well aware that you would regret doing that, somewhere on the back of your mind. But, in the moment, your worry for your friend overpowered your lingering anxiety. Maybe out of some sense of duty. V made it all the way here, just to save you. You played a big role in his capture, in a way. If it wasn't for you, he wouldn't be in danger. And not knowing a single thing about his whereabouts or even his state was... daunting.
So, you dialed his phone number.
You anticipated that he wouldn't pick up. Maybe you would receive a very brief phone call with him begging you to keep yourself safe, like he always would. Or even just a quick exchange of words between you two that would maybe give you even the tiniest of clues on his whereabouts. Something you could then relay to Seven. Make yourself useful. Actually do something, instead of just sitting there and driving yourself mad with dozens upon dozens of anxious thoughts clouding your mind.
What you received was worse than you could have ever imagined.
It was one thing to hear pained groans, gasps, and raspy coughing on the other end of the line. You already had an expectation that V would not be okay when you hear his voice. It still left your knees feeling weak and your heart lurching in your chest with a dizzying intensity, but you could handle that, to an extent. What you couldn't handle was also hearing a familiar soft-spoken voice that has become an unstated but undeniable source of comfort for you. A voice that was now sounding so cold and angry, that your brain had a hard time comprehending what was happening, seemingly shutting down completely, as you remained deathly quiet for the whole duration of that cursed call.
Ray just was not supposed to be there.
You have heard him get angry before. You have heard him lose his grip on reality before. You have heard him say things you couldn't truly agree with, despite you still going along with them regardless, to avoid causing him any disturbance. Those were all aspects of him you were not blind to. You just actively chose to overlook them whenever they would come up. Something that you probably shouldn't have done.
-But you never heard him be so downright cruel and vicious before. Seemingly not at all disturbed by the very real sounds of suffering from the other living person there with him. Even getting angrier at them.
Like it was something completely normal. Not at all worth getting upset or worried over.
You couldn't wrap your head around the fact that this was the same man that worried himself sick over you simply scraping a knee. He was so caring, so empathetic to you back then... over a small cut, of all things. And now, that very same man was not at all disturbed by such grave suffering happening right in front of him.
No, by the sounds of it... he was actively causing it.
And that's not something you could live in peace with.
The call lasted for a maximum of two minutes. That's the time that your phone would display to you whenever you mindlessly return to it, anyway. But it felt way longer than that. For those two horrible minutes, your ears were ruthlessly subjected to the merciless reality you were so desperate to avoid facing up until that very moment.
The bitter truth was that Ray is not a fragile flower. Nor is he a prince from a fairytale. For, fairytales are not reality. No matter how much you want them to be. He was a man, a human being, just like you. Just like every other person in this building. And much like any human being, he was more than capable of causing harm by his own two hands if he so chooses. In fact, he would do so purposefully. And a victim of his spiraling wrath was no longer some faceless unlucky believer that you could forget about in a matter of hours, despite you genuinely feeling bad for them. No, it was your friend. A friend who fought so desperately to save you, even at the cost of his own safety. A friend you have come to care for in the short time you have known each other.
A friend, you knew for sure didn't deserve to be suffering in the way that he was. By the hands of your other friend you cared for just as deeply.
Such reality was just too cruel for you to bear.
So, you do the most foolish thing of all.
You confront Ray head-on.
"-Y/N, you must be confused... I've done no wrong. I do admit that I... did loose myself for a moment there, but- but it was his own fault! If he just kept quiet and drank the elixir like my Savior has instructed, I wouldn't get so upset with him. And he kept saying his stupid lies... He wouldn't shut up. My head hurt so bad... You have no idea."
You are left feeling sick to your very core by the soft apologetic smile reflected on Ray's face, once you do have a chance to finally face him again. No matter what you say, how hard you try to show him how wrong and cruel his actions really were, it was all completely pointless. For someone so seemingly skittish and subservient, Ray was frustratingly stubborn in his beliefs. It was like throwing a tennis ball at a wall. The more force you put into your throw to get your point across, the harder it just bounces right back into your face, leaving you with the painful sting of your failure.
You shake your head, an ugly mess of emotions steadily clouding your sense of judgment. At some point, you lose track of your location and position. All caution goes out the window. All that remains is a debilitating feeling of betrayal, clutching at your insides like metal rods slowly puncturing your very heart. "It is still wrong, Ray! How can you not see that!? He was suffering, and you just- just-"
The words don't come out of your mouth, obstructed by the suffocating lump stuck in the middle of your throat. You were going in circles now. You have been trying to get through to him for almost ten minutes straight, and still no results. You have to take a moment to try and regain your breathing. A soft glowed hand rests gently upon your chin, causing you to tilt your head to meet Ray's gaze instead.
You are disgusted by the genuine concern etched onto his delicate features. By the unfeigned emotions of nothing but genuine care and affection swimming in his eyes as he looks at you. By the tender touch warming up your clammy skin. All of it is sincere. You know he is not lying to you. Not right now, at least. And that is a sickening realization to come to.
More than anything, you are disgusted by the simple fact that you cannot perceive him as a monster or an angel. Ray is no perfect prince from a fairytale, no matter how hard he may try and appear to you as such.
He's a human.
Just like you.
And this implies that he is capable of all the atrocities that any human being is capable of. As much as he is kind to you, he can also be cruel to others. As much as his hands soothe and tremble when they brush up against yours, they can also hurt and sully those he harbors hatred for. It's not all black and white, as you would like to delude yourself into thinking.
And his actions were truly appalling to you. You couldn't live in your fantasy world anymore. It was sullied. Destroyed beyond repair. Your Wonderland has been corrupted from the start, and you just denied each and every sign of it, until it was too late.
"My prince/ss... It pains me to see you in such distress. Though, your tender heart is another trait of you that I adore," Ray whispers to you softly, his thumb lightly brushing over your cheekbone. He was touching you so gently, it's almost like you were made out of glass. And yet, just a few hours earlier, these exact hands were causing so much suffering to someone you care so deeply about. The thought prompts you to swallow hard and clutch your hands together as they start to shake. He continues, seemingly undisturbed by your lack of a positive response. "-But believe me when I say that that villain is not deserving of your compassion. He tried to take you away from me... To ruin what you and I have built together. I cannot stand by and watch him do that to us. What if you got hurt because of him? I would never forgive myself, if that were to happen."
You shut your eyes, refusing to accept the reality unfolding before you. Everything was wrong. So very wrong. One part of you wanted to scream and shout at him, to make him see the twisted nature of his words by pure unrelenting force if you have to. But there was another part of you that contemplated just giving up and concluding this interaction altogether. The debilitating feeling of helplessness was just too much for you to handle.
You are not allowed to do either of those things, however. Instead, another hand lightly rests on the small of your back, pulling you in towards the source of your distress. And you don't fight it. You feel your forehead come in contact with Ray's chest, his flowery scent filling your senses, as both of his arms are now circling around you. You hear a happy sigh fall from his lips. It all seemed like a very cruel joke on you. A moment that seemed so sweet and touching, bringing you nothing but more hurt and anguish.
Did he really not see anything amiss with any of this?
"I missed you so much, my flower... You know, when I heard that liar try and talk to me like he knew you better than I do, I felt like I might just strangle him right then and there. Make sure he never utters your lovely name ever again." Ray's voice is slightly gruff from how quiet it is against the side of your head. A low hum vibrates in his throat as he nuzzles into your hair like an affectionate cat would, breathing in your scent with all the longing you could possibly ask for. Though, the only thing that comes from his affections is a sickening feeling of dread for you.
"-But I thought of you. I thought of your lovely smile... Your eyes, your voice. I know I shouldn't think like this, but... You gave me more strength than my Savior's words ever did. What I did... I did for you. For us, Y/N." He continues, taking a step back from the hug to look at you. Your gaze is cast low, as you don't reciprocate the gesture. You can't bring yourself to look at him right now. It's hard to even keep yourself from putting your hands over your ears to avoid hearing it all. He gently tilts your head up, however, making it clear that he wants you to look at him. "Please don't be upset... It breaks my heart to see you sad because of that villain."
That's when the dam inside of you finally shatters, all repressed emotions spilling out in a violent wave of hopelessness you cannot bring yourself to stop. You wrench yourself away from Ray's arms, your own hands now clenched into tight fists as you look him directly in the eyes. There's a fire burning ever hotter inside of your chest, and you make no attempt to put it out. You let it take over you completely, consequences be damned.
"Villain?Villain!? Ray, he did all he could to save me! And you locked him up and tortured him for that!"
Your mind is screaming at you to stop. To stop and fix things before they spiral too out of your control.
You're being too aggressive. Too blunt. Too disobedient. Staying safe requires you to be both calm and smart about this. And you are neither of those things right now.
But you don't care.
Even as you see the emotions in Ray's eyes shift from that suffocating affection to a mix of desperation and frustration you know well. He makes a step towards you. You make two steps back. This makes his brows furrow in what you could only assume was dissatisfaction.
You never backed away from him before.
"Save you...? No. No. Y/N, he tried to steal you from me. Poison you with his lies, like he has done to my Savior. He did it to me, too! I'm the one who saved you. I did what had to be done to protect you!" You can actively hear his voice changing from the shaky disbelief at your denial of him to rough desperation to prove you wrong. It's borderline scary how quick those changes are occurring right in front of your eyes. Almost in a blink of an eye. It's yet another blaring warning for you to stop.
One that you ignore.
Instead, your frustration boils up inside of you, making you sneer at his stubborn refusal to see reason: "By hurting him!? By making him choke and gag in pain? What was the point of-"
Your angry line of thought is instantaneously interrupted by a small yeep that slips past your lips, as Ray closes in on you in just a couple of quick steps, grabbing at your wrists with a tight grip. Tight enough to cause you some discomfort. His eyes are wide, and his breathing is noticeably shaky. Like he's fighting to get enough air into his lungs and failing miserably. He yanks you close, making you stumble into him without much time for you to struggle or push back against him. Mostly due to your state of pure disbelief. You never expected Ray to actually do anything to you. And while he wasn't actively hurting you, this was still shattering your perception of him to bits and pieces. Or, what remained of it.
"That was nothing, Y/N. He deserved all of that. He deserved that and more. You feel sad for him? You wish mercy on him?" You are suddenly pushed back against the wall, and Ray's slim form keeps you trapped in this makeshift cage you created for yourself with your reckless actions. Ray's voice grows shakier, yet also significantly lower. It sounded dangerous. Angry. His nose brushes up against yours, as he's leaning so close to you, you can't focus on anything but him. Your breath hitches as you instinctively press yourself up against the wall, the panicked pounding of your heart echoing in your temples. "You have no idea how badly he hurt me. What pain I went through because of that- that-"
You can't help but wince in pain as his grip on you tightens. An action that seems to immediately shake Ray out of his temporary fit of anger, as he gasps and quickly lets go of you, stumbling backwards with a frightened expression painted over his features. You don't even have to look at him to know that he is probably in a less than stable state of mind. You are left staggered, betrayed and confused, as you stand there, eyes cast low, rubbing at your wrists. They didn't hurt. Not much, at least. It's the psychological aspect of it that left an impact of you.
Ray's voice feels muffled as it reaches your ears through the constant flow of thought in your head.
"I- N-No, Y/N, I'm sorry, I didn't want to- Are you hurt?" You can see him taking a step back towards you, hand reaching out for yours, probably to check on your wrists. You can tell he's scared. And upset. Probably guilty. Which makes this even harder for you to grapple with.
Either way, you cut him off, not wanting to hear any more of this. Partially because you understand that staying to listen will only cause you to break further, if it was even possible at this point. Because he sounds so genuine, nervous, and miserable, it makes your heart ache for him despite yourself. Makes you want to look up, smile, and say that you're okay. That you two can figure it out together.
And you don't want to repeat the same mistake twice.
"Just... Leave, Ray." You mutter out quietly, not raising your eyes at him. You sound a bit too soft for your liking, but it'll do. Swallowing, you repeat yourself for good measure. "Please. Leave."
There is a prolonged pause between the two of you. It's almost too lengthy for comfort. Neither of you say anything for a while. But the tension in the air is thick, and it does not fade with time. It only grows. Crawling over you like snakes. There is a fear within you that prevents you from looking at him. A fear of seeing the pain in his eyes. Or, instead, to come face to face with that same anger that felt so alien to you.
Ray finally speaks up. His voice is barely audible.
"...N-No..."
He moves closer to you still. For the second time today, you are finding yourself backing away. But now, you turn your back on him and keep your hands locked where you can see them. You can feel them shaking. With a sigh, you repeat: "Leave."
And, as you soon learn, that was not a very wise choice for you to make.
You're quickly spun around before you can think to act, and Ray's fingers are digging into your shoulders with a disturbing intensity, leaving you little time to react. He's observing you as if you were a wounded animal that was left behind after being hit by a car. Like you're the saddest creature he had ever seen. And, for some reason, that look scares you more than the previous anger he showed you.
"I can't believe this..." He murmurs under his breath, his eyes darting over your figure, almost like he was searching for something physical on you that could be visible to the human eye. But he doesn't find it, and that seems to upset him further. You try to pull away from him, only to get jerked back in again, his hold on you tightening.
Only this time, he does not pay any attention to your visible discomfort. He was too occupied with his own thoughts that you were not aware of. It's like he doesn't even see you. Not fully, anyways.
He holds your chin and tilts your face to examine you more closely. As he does, his shaky breath sneaks over your cheek and causes you to shiver in place.
"He... He poisoned you, didn't he...?"
The hushed murmur sounds so utterly ridiculous that it almost makes you forget about the disturbing nature of this situation for a good moment. Yet, he was completely serious. And he wasn't even talking to you, by the looks of it.
"What? Ray, I-"
"-That's why you are saying all these things to me... That's why you don't trust me anymore." Ray cuts you off as if you were not there, his brows furrowing into a deep scowl, but not one aimed directly at you. One of his hands grips onto your chin, while the other finds your hand and takes it into his own, his fingers sliding between yours. He grasps it tight, in a hold that would feel reassuring, if it wasn't for the circumstances. "My Y/N wouldn't tell me to leave. I should've guessed..."
A shiver of fear runs down your spine. As your outburst of frustration subsides, you slowly start to realize the seriousness of this situation for you, as the fire of anger and betrayal subsides. Now you wish Ray was angry again. At least then he still listened to you. But how can you fix things when he doesn't even acknowledge you?
"-Don't worry," You are brought back to reality by a warm and assuring smile on Ray's face. One that only makes you feel nauseous. He leans in and presses a kiss to your forehead, making your breath hitch. Staying there, he whispers onto your skin, like a secret promise only for your ears to hear. "I will fix it, my prince/ss. I shouldn't have been away from you for this long in the first place... My Savior is far too busy to give you the care and attention you need. But now, I'm here. And I'm not leaving your side again. I promise. I'll make sure you are smiling again."
He does not let go of you again. While your fairytale might have been broken, his has only begun its story. And his happily ever after is not something he will give up on. Even if you did.
#mystic messenger#mysmes#mysme#mm#ray choi#choi ray#mystic messenger ray#saeran choi#ray x reader#saeran x reader#i am spraying him from a water bottle because he's being a bad kitty#but uh#anyways#i love his more dangerous side in v's route#the scene with him torturing v is one i don't see many talk about#also he's a bit more erratic here#not as premeditated as danger ray is usually portrayed#i read through and listened to his bad endings and his overall behavior#and it's a thing i am very fascinated by#how quick he is to lose his composure and act out in a way he feels guilty for moments after#or how quick he is to switch#from the panicked desperation to complete delusion#and i feel like once that switch happens#you're done#you're just done#he won't listen to you#he's too stuck in his own head#it happens during the another story bad ending#and it somewhat happens in his bad ending during v's route#he's very possessive or you and - subsequently - his fairytale reality
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Had a discussion with the other couple who is going to the D20 show with us and they said "no upper limit" for ticket prices so I just did was I do and did like, best seats available at the time, and now they want to pay me and I am fully frozen over telling them an amount of money.
#logically i know that they are 110% on board with whatever#and that if i were the one owing money i wouldn't blink an eye#i'd just be like 'yeah that tracks'#but STILL it feels weird#don't mind me i'm just being awkward over here and dragging out a convo for no reason#i fully panicked myself out of buying actual floor seats earlier lmao because i was like#other people are going to give you money for this is THAT what you want to tell them you spent?!#we're both dual income (usually) no kid households so it's like fine#but still i am way too awkward for my own good
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god this is awful
#why do the fakeout deaths always get me#hearing ever calm calculated baby cyclops panicking because he gonna burn to death#is just#too much for me#and they like barely talk about it in the next issue#Thats all about Hank#like I love hank#but maybe address how cyclops is not only being shunted because of his name#but being actively hunted and nearly murdered because of it#Its just awful#Teen Scott deserved the world I think#and then some#scott summers#Cyclops#all new x men#(2015) number 7#awful
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Fic where Edwin and Charles have to swap ghostly bodies and Charles is freaking out because he's like "ahhhhh????? I'm in Edwin's body and I haven't even kissed him yet" while Edwin can't stop running his hands through his (Charles') hair because he always wants to touch Charles' hair
#edwin keeps running a hand through his hair or playing with the curls and charles is confused because edwin never does that with#his own hair but he's like oooh edwin is touching my hair and he's blushing thinking about it#and then theres charles whos panicking because he's like debating whether he likes edwin or just wants to be him#and now charles is very confused is swapping bodies is a metaphor for shagging because they've now both#been in each others bodies and he's having a whole bi crisis while edwin is stimming with the curls#i mean if i wanted to run my hands through the person i liked hair then i would be playing with it too#dead boy detectives#dead boy detective agency#edwin payne#charles rowland#payneland#edwin x charles#charles x edwin#dbda#body swap au#fic ideas
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theonny?
Theonny!
#in a little oasis of their own#this drawing KICKED MY ASS#you may notice that ted and penny and the grass are on a separate layer of paper from the sky..#that is because I fucked up the sky on my first attempt#panicked and cut them out#and pasted them onto a different sheet of paper#kindergarten 2#kindergarten the game#ted kindergarten#theodore kindergarten#ted huxley#theodore huxley#he’s got too many names#penny kindergarten#kindergarten penny
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I absolutely adore this panel Larry and Ben did with Lolly about 'We Are Not Alone'
some favourite bits:
(6:25) Lolly completely forgetting about Bill and asking them if WANA is their first 90-minute-feature
(16:20) "it's all story and structure" - them talking about getting that on t-shirts (or just one shirt that says "I'm with structure") - does anybody want to draw or photoshop them into those shirts (please)?
(18:15-18:55) how Ben is especially good at getting emotional beats in and how Larry has to be dissuaded from putting one more laugh in there... "and then we have a fight. and then we have a kiss."...
(from 34:00) about their comedy influences, Larry mentioning Life of Brian and Ben going for Sellers and Clouseau (among others, like Douglas Adams for Larry and Ealing Comedies for Ben)
#ollie's log#six idiots#lolly adefope#larry rickard#ben willbond#we are not alone#bbc ghosts#(because they do mention that quite a bit too)#I got SO excited about ben mentioning clouseau there!!#because I have seen some clouseau-isms in the captain actually!#like the 'fanny yes fanny' moment#or the way he starts panicking when havers brings those news in 2x03#of course the moustache helps a LOT with that seeming clouseau-y#but now that I've seen ben mentioning him specifically I will go on believing that there's an influence there (if only a subconscious one)#anyway the 'and then we have a fight. and then we have a kiss' killed me <3#Spotify
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A big fan of elytras and the End but the scariest minecraft experience is flying in the end and all of a sudden there is just nothing.
No big islands.
No small islands.
No chorus plants.
No cities.
Just emptiness
And me flying very fast through it realizing that there is no sun or anything to orient by and I have no idea if I'm flying up or down
#the scariest 5 minutes#scary#far far too scary#i was scared#my sibling was panicking with me because I had the good elytra on me#the terror of being at y 300 one minute and y 19 the next#realizing that I don't know what the standard y levels are in the end#minecraft#video games#getting chorus fruit is very fun thou
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