#because I have main character syndrome
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I have multiple game of thrones dr and I’ve never seen/read it LMAO
#going off vibes#want me to talk about them? I gladly will#I have a targaryen dr. tyrell dr. stark dr. and a lannister dr.#all set in different time periods#see the targaryen one is set in the house of the dragon era#i ride Silverwing because I’m a bad bitch#I also made it so Rhaenyra originally marries Harwin Strong and stays married to him#also because I ride Silverwing I gave myself a relationship with Vermithor#because I have main character syndrome#my Tyrell dr is the only one set in the game of thrones era#the stark dr is set in the war era but the war never happens because I’m gonna knock the hell out of rhaegar targaryen#he better not even LOOK at lyanna#I also gave myself a direwolf because wtf am I just supposed to NOT have one??#my lannister dr is basically just antagonizing cersei#LMAO#it’s set pre-war#I have to be the baddest bitch around in any DR I have#it’s an issue#it’s fun though#why would I even shift there if I’m not going to be an icon#reality shifting#shifting#shiftblr#desired reality#shifting realities
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Genuinely i wonder how common it is to hallucinate / perceive things oddly / have a notably altered perception of things
#alda rambling#I feel like no one ever talks about it near me so I don't know#If its just that no one else feels it or I'm the only one freaking out about it#Maybe everyone or many ppl feel the way I feel and I'm the only person who can't handle it#Or very few people feel how I feel and I'm repressing it to fit in#Isn't there some kind of group for this. Do I have to join reddit. I don't want to join reddit#I've definitely talked about it before but ahaha. No answers you see. So I continue#(If you have experience with this I'd appreciate a line xo )#I mean. I'm a textbook case of Keeping It To Myself#But also I fear I have main character syndrome#Which makes me think I'm faking everything and I'm just a normal gal who needs attention#But isn't THAT a bit of a mental hypochondriac thing too?#So am I faking for attention or is it real because of a need for attention#Either way I lose lmao so that means it must be real#No but seriously. If you have experience with this I'd love a reach-out it does have me slightly freaked out.
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I want to be a vampire too: rant
played 2 routes of ikemen vampire so far. I love the game, but both times I have wished that there was an option to join them as a vampire at the end.
I don't understand why becoming a vampire is posed so negatively in the game, but whenever it comes up in the routes it's coded like it's a terrible option that MC doesn't want to do.
Well, au contraire! If I had a chance to become a sexy vampire in a mansion full of other sexy vampires I would take it ... especially if the person I was in love with was also a vampire. If both are vampires doesn't that mean more time you get to be together??
TLDR I want to become a vampire at the end of my romance and I haven't had my way yet,
#ikevamp spoilers#cybird please im begging you let me be a vampire too#can you tell i have main character syndrome#but fr fr I rly dont understand MC#like you could live a whole extra century or so with your mans#and you instead want to age way faster than him and leave him alone?? how does that make sense#it just rly gets on my nerves that MC doesn't want to be a vampire#because i do#it sounds so epic#ykwim ?#the routes i played are sebastian and leonardo#both so far we dont get to vamp out#ikevamp sebastian#ikemen vampire#ikevamp#ikevamp leonardo#ikevamp le comte#ikemen vampire mc#ikevamp isaac#ikevamp napoleon#ikemen vampire theo#cybird otome#ikemen vampire x reader#ikemen vampire review#ikevamp review
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Does ink has disorder of any kind?
I assume this is related to Ink in Perseverance lol. Okay, s o. I tend to write Ink with some tendencies that I have because it's easier to write more realistic depictions of things if I draw from my own life as inspiration lmao. As such, the only thing I am confident saying he has is social anxiety, as that is the only thing that I'm officially diagnosed with.
That said, I've seen people comment that he displays depressive tendencies, as well as having vivid flashbacks and tends to dissociate as what is sometimes typical of PTSD. Since I mostly write these things based off of personal experience, I am hesitant to say he has these things lol, especially since "mental health testing" doesn't exist in my world as much.
Does that mean he doesn't have them?? E e e e h h. Let's just say the only thing I am 100% sure in saying he has is social anxiety✧˖°.
#I tend to write Ink having a lot of self image issues and anxiety in my other fics too#I can just write more realistic depictions of stuff if I draw inspiration from my own life#Like s u r e; I can do research and write about things I haven't personally experienced pretty well#I just find it gives it that ✧˖°.personal touch✧˖°. if I write about things that I know what feels like#Besides it just hits d i f f e r e n t you know#Ink's canon soullessness; although not delved into in my main fic as much#It's just got so much angst potential man#It's so good#I am fine with any other headcanons though#I've had neurodivergent people say they could relate to my Ink a lot#And I honestly think that's a based and sort of really cute headcanon so I completely support it#Even if I don't explicitly make him neurodivergent lol#That might change in the future if I get freaking diagnosed with more stuff#'Cus then I can safely tell my imposter syndrome that I have clearance to give the disorder to the characters#It won't be able to argue “wElL tHaT's NoT a *ReAl* DePiCtIoN oF dEpReSsIoN-”#Because it'll be like “sike; it actually is 'cus I was officially diagnosed with it heheh✧˖°.”
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Everytime the cr fandom gets genuinely toxic over a player choice I’m just violently reminded that the people posting these takes have never actually played dnd irl
#I’m not saying player etiquette isn’t a thing but the way y’all are talking rn. you are in fact allowed to do things#w/o other player’s knowledge or permission and that isn’t a breach of player etiquette#because each table has its own boundaries and if they were really upset they would’ve shut it down#cr talked about how they have things off limits b4 like.#they are all adults and friends they don’t need your defense and they certainly don’t need you attacking#their friends in said defense like 😭#y’all are this close to calling Orym going shopping on his own main character syndrome istg#cr#critical role#I babble
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#im not the type to ship oc x canon but after making dima (ochre crocodile) my brain went: what if he kissed half the main chs#absolutely unprompted and with no reason at all#he's literally a side character of the fanfic he's in. like barely talked and barely did anything. so. why.#anyways. i have decided he loves bears and he likes venom solely because he reminds him of bears (+the standard boss-loving syndrome)#oc#originalcharacter#mgs oc#Dima Ilyich#Misha Melovich
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Quick Mizi speculation time!!! Im fascinated with this frame of Mizi because while she looks shocked, she doesnt look scared.
Talking this over with a friend, shes very much, like, “How could this happen!!!” but also. She doesnt look concerned about herself, like. The more Mizi’s character gets revealed, the more interesting she becomes.
I believe this may tie in with Ivan because they might be foils in terms of how “well off” they were raised. From her demeanor in some ALNST content to her potential ignorance of the circumstances in My Clematis to this brief shot in Sweet Dream, I personally assume…Mizi grew up privileged. She may have grown up in relative safety, and while there may have been some awareness of the universe’s circumstances, I think she grew in an environment where she never thought it would happen to her (until post-My Clematis).
An important thing to note is that even from that alien moment in Round 3’s teaser up to Round 1, Mizi is under this illusion. Thus, it can be insinuated that she came out of Round 3’s teaser situation completely unharmed and in fact was never in any danger. This can also be concluded by questioning why Mizi was there alone in the first place, with nothing happening until Till appears. Of course, the possibility that they wander in there at relatively the same time, but if Mizi had any sense of the danger any random alien could pose to her…why did she go up so close? Why did she enter far into the room at all? I wouldnt be surprised if her alien master intentionally or not preserved Mizi’s illusion by striking a deal that no alien would hurt her. Or that no harm befalls her, whichever works.
My theory is that Mizi lived well under her master; I personally think Mizi’s master probably thinks of her as precious, whether it be in a pitying way or genuinely cherishing way (leaning towards the latter). Thus, she and Ivan would be similar because they both lived in relative luxury compared to other human “pets”–especially in regards to Till.
The difference between them would be that to their masters, Ivan stays as a pet, while Mizi may have been treated the slightest bit more like a person.
#dee p thoughts#alien stage#alnst#vivinos#anyways I think it would be suuuper funny if that scene in round 3's teaser was also VERY personal for ivan because hes petty lol#I also have mizi designer baby thoughts because she is the most main character syndrome EVER like look at her compared to the other charas#and that could be another reason why shes cherished...#I also had an art in mind where its someone mizi-like who was wearing a white outfit instead and pink eyes instead of mizi's yellow#TOO BAD THATS DELETED!!! hee hee ha ha
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People like to say 'oooooh main character syndrome' but what kind of main character cause it's significant
(yea I know it means it's just meant to say someone's self absorbed but play with me)
Like the annoyance varies depending on what kind of main character someone thinks they are. A shounen anime main character syndrome would feel very different to me than let's say a romantic comedy main character syndrome. Or a slasher main character syndrome. Let's introduce some nuance here
#i personally think i have an indie animated slice of life 10 minute short main character syndrome#i will look wistfully through the window riding a tram and there's some noise in the background but as a viewer it is clear#that you could pick any other person in the tram to tell a story#(however i am a little bit special cause the story is about ME now)#im fan of 'psychological horror main character syndrome'#or '30 somethings friend group sitcom' main character syndrome#in partial seriousness though#i liked the initial use of main character syndrome to use to describe people who think their interests should always be put first#because they cannot comprehend other people aren't npc#however I don't vibe with how i see its used often to just mean someone is harmlessly enjoying themselves by romanticising their life#doing something silly but non disruptive to feel alive#if you romantically run through the spring rain or sit by a river and do a wistful musical number to no audience i think that's awesome#do your funky thing#alek talks#alek lore#i guess
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i love that we are discovering our boundaries and saying No, but there comes a point where you can't cancel on your friends anymore. you have to say yes eventually and actually be there. if you like being invited you have to show up at least once. like listen to your body and energy, obviously. but there will come a time where your friends will start hurting and think you're avoiding them or don't like them or don't want to hang out, because every single time you had the opportunity you said no or you canceled last minute.
#this post is brought to you by My Friend Invited Out 6 People Including Me and I was Literally the ONLY Person that Didnt Cancel#his heart was broken#like 3 of then straight up waited until the very last minute to cancel#youre not fooling your friends when you do that. it does hurt their feelings. and they can only take it so many times before giving up#and when they do it wont be their fault because they reached out already multiple times#when does Haha Canceling on My Friend go from protecting your energy to isolation#for both of you#it just hurt to see my friend hurt#because they all initially said yes too#5 people pulling out we had a whole gamenight planned that turned into a 2 person dinner#smdh wake up out of main character syndrome babe we're learning how to be A Good Friend again#being a friend comes with responsibilities btw like there are things you have to do to maintain your friendship#im not talking out of my ass on this one either#do you have any idea the dbt and workbooking ive done to relearn how to connect with people#and notice the damage my isolation and agoraphobia was having on my deteriorating friendships
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Leftovers gone bad (Patreon)
#Doodles#Just Desserts#Villainsona#Still vent-like! Helped put my head in order anyhow so - helpful :)#Sweet Coffee to lower Charm's anxieties hehe <3 Who could have ever guessed how accurate he'd be!#I really do need to sit down and give everyone names he deserves one! He's only ever had the one name (not Coffee lol)#His first attempt wasn't great lol way to intentionally misinterpret his meaning Charm#It's hard to be positive in that kind of mindset but he's trying to help!#Coffee does also have foot-in-mouth syndrome tho so there's that lol#Doesn't Try to minimize or callously redirect he really does try his best he's just still a bit clumsy haha#This was never his practice! He's always been a troublemaker of a kind!#He's just getting his practice in haha#Oh yeah and he gets a new outfit since I was offline while drawing him pft#He's always been androgynous he's allowed to have the clasps on the other side - even if it does make him off-model lol#He's always had masculine closures on his clothes now that I think of it....I think? Might need to go through his backlog actually#Then again I'm talking about the character he used to be and not necessarily who he is now lol - moving character from fandom to fandom#ANYway lol#Isn't this supposed to be about Charm or something who's the main character again pft#Charm's canonical least favourite feeling is feeling foolish! It's The Feeling that makes her seek out the Staff#But! She's (trying to be) reformed! So that's not really an option! Doesn't make the feeling go away tho#She carries the same response with her since she hasn't figured out how to healthfully respond to it#So anything that creates That Feeling is scary! She doesn't have an out! Feels cornered - and that stress adds to it#What if This Thing makes her feel That Way when she doesn't want to! She /wants/ to trust and love and be happy and healthy#But the precedent#Reminding her that she doesn't have to repeat her actions just because it Feels a certain way is important!#It's not something you have to run away from or lash out against - it hurts but it's momentary#Promise :)
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hey gamers if you're here from tgp holy SHIT i'm so sorry. i have actually a negative amount of updates i'm currently in the process of replotting it because the story i had before got so unnecessarily complex, there were like 10 subplots and i'll be honest it just sucked ass. so i'm simplifying and starting from scratch
#i feel so bad about going radio silent and then coming back on here and being like “hey i actually have LESS than i had before” but#MAN I'M REALLY SORRY#sorry for being a coward but going on my main blog makes me nervous the impostor syndrome is so real#i've been reading more in comparison to before which is basically going from having read 0 books to i have read 1.5 books#i read the r@ven b0ys for the first time today because i borrowed it from the library#like months ago. and today was the due date so i just spedrun it and returned it at the end of the day#it was so good.#i'm gonna read the 2nd one prolly soon#reading books is. so different than reading drabbles on ao3 i feel like i've missed out on so much by not reading real books in years#i'm having to relearn how to make a story#but i haven't actually read fanfic other than a couple one offs in the last couple years either#(rubs hands together) i'm catching up on that too#i keep getting fixated on ships that the majority of the fandom doesn't give a shit about but I've grown to accept this curse..#i think the pattern is my favourite character + my other favourite character#that's it#MY BAD abt the yapathon LMAOOO i am allergic to shutting the fuck up
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#I can't remember exactly where I heard this but I know it was#on a tiktok by someone who had an expertise of some sort like house cleaning or home renovation or sthg#but I actually thought it was an excellent piece of advice for many areas of life and it was#'Remember: if it's making your life easier it's probably making someone else's life harder'#like i think that's just a good thing to keep in mind social skills wise when youre trying to be a good friend or coworker or roomie or wtv#the ones you like being around are the ones who are conscientious about the amount of burden they're being or sharing#or at the very least showing interest in making sure your stress is at a manageable level. especially before dumping on you#idk I started thinking about this because I was defining an energy vampire to myself#I think energy vampires are the people who are always using you as a release valve or are just incredibly self-absorbed. Their problems#are (in their minds) always worse than everyone else's. Essentially it's main character syndrome. and so if it's not a give-and-take#You end up drained/wanting to avoid them. ANYWAYS trying not to be one doesn't mean you always have to feel guilty/petrified of being needy#but just trying to be aware of and to show appreciation for when someone is probably helping you out with stuff#and to offer to do things for them in return if you're capable as well#p
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#long rant inc anyway I'm awake and out of bed and settled from last night's little Episode™ but like...#idk I kinda want to put this out there but also I don't want to slap it in big bright text all over my blog#I'm not running a 'Cluster B Blog' but I'm also by no means trying to keep this a secret#I do have NPD. Like for real. I'm unlikely to ever get an ASPD diagnosis#(which is fine that's one of those 'it can ruin your life' diagnoses)#but I meet nearly all the criteria.#I have the delusions of grandeur and the hypo-manic ego highs.#I have the No Empathy and I forget that other people have the same depth of lived experience that I do and aren't background characters#I say this not to make myself seem more edgy and interesting (although I am. Ohhh I'm so so interesting do you get it)#but because... well frankly I would like people who have a problem with that to leave LOL#and because idk... maybe to open a dialogue? The upside of having Main Character Syndrome is I'm happy to talk about myself#and if I can be that one cluster b person you know of who's kind of a freak but seems harmless... I'll be that ambassador
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Okay, I get being mad at the Eurovision results, but I personally draw the line at two things:
Personal attacks towards Loreen's character, appearance, etc., not to even mention misogynistic, transphobic, and racist slurs.
Dragging Sweden's colonization of Finland into it. Because while what is now modern-day Finland was gradually and sporadically under Swedish rule from roughly 1266 to 1809, and there were obviously some skirmishes related to the crusades and colonies, and your typical oppression of peasants here and there... we, by every possible European/international standard, have been fucking lucky. We've been largely left to our own devices: no serfdom, no violent and systematic erasure of language and culture, no unfair treatment compared to the rest of the population (generally speaking, of course). Hell, even the Russians treated us much better than many of the other peoples under imperial rule, even granting us autonomy. But my point is: I'm not trying to tell anyone how to feel about Finland's history with Sweden or what could have been if they hadn't colonized us (hint: it would have been Novgorod and/or the Germans instead), but I feel dragging something that happened centuries ago into it as if it’s relevant especially when Israel, who might well have won instead, is violently colonizing and oppressing Palestine as we speak is... kinda crass. So, in that respect, I say: get the fuck over yourselves, Finns. We are not special.
#not tagging this because I don't have energy for discourse#but I had to say something#like hell#I just got back from Latvia and learned more about their history with the German colonization#which was much more of a textbook colonization under the guise of a 'crusade'#oh and the Baltics were under Swedish rule too for some time#do you see them throwing tantrums at Sweden for that right now?#again#we are not special#or if we are it's because we've been hella lucky#like if we're going to be mad at historical colonizations#even Ukrainians could be mad at Sweden because Rurik was in all likelihood a Swede#Finns have such a massive main character syndrome sometimes and it's exhausting
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I had a really good discussion over actual reasons for different pov on OFMD...
And now we're back to stupid fucking takes. Please watch The Crown or something if you want a serious show. Please watch 90s Charmed if you want girl boss women.
I really enjoyed messy women characters. I like Ann and Mary. I liked that Archie is in the crew and she's a himbo. I like women who are not always socially correct, who are messy, who can't fucking cook lol, who are silly in whatever way.
Please pick a different show. Go away.
#i actually am back to think yall have main character syndrome again#'this show didn't do what i like!!' stop watching. go away. holy shit why is this even a normal complaint#i didnt like star wars 8. you know what i didnt do? go see star wars 9. and ive never even fucking talked abou it here because i didn't#waste my time. i didn't like GoT after a while. you know what i didnt do? keep fucking watching it#jfc if you hated something so much. clearly you were seeing things that made you uncomfortable. you have the power at your fingertips to#just stop watching. turn it off.#i cant stand you all rn#aunt posting#anti - particular ofmd fans who dont have a grip on reality#anti izcourse believers now#anti whatever the fuck that one user is on about. like damn. women cant do anything except be pristine huh
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the ongoing show has healed my heart enough that I'm looking at the show that has been burning a hole in my skull for a decade like 🥰
hi I've missed you, can't wait to remember why I hate this show in about (checks watch) two minutes
#you guys have no idea the impact this fucking piece of shit show made on me#i watched it twice. TWICE. i was in the manila airport less than a month ago#and i saw the main actor of this show (not featured here) on an advert for luxury condos for a minute#and literally stopped walking because it was like. oh my god. i remembered everything your character did#TERRIBLE AWFUL NO GOOD#also this show cursed me. i never suffered from second lead syndrome before this and then every show after#was me going: augh not the main love interest. augh not the main love interest.#over and over again#you think dead romans influence my writing decisions? no. it's this godawful nightmare of a narrative#anyway found the tagalog dub on a webbed site. dino here i come
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