#because I have a feeling that if anybody IS going to start genuinely supporting him it'll be his big brother | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

lueurjun · 4 months ago

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f1 driver!boyfriend heeseung.

request — if you are accepting requests i was thinking maybe something like formula one driver heeseung x reader where they travel to support him at his races all around the world, and also watching their boyfriend become world champion at the end of the season? thank you <3 !! 🎀

eek ! sorry this took so long. i have been in a deep writers block. but i hope you enjoy this lovely <3 this is long, my bad… i got carried away because i loved writing this. i had so much fun im not even kidding, i think i’m going to turn this into a written series for heeseung.

refer to this edit for the vibes—it has me in a chokehold and gave me the motivation for this.

rocking back and forth because ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

LEE HEESEUNG?? FORMULA ONE DRIVER?

SEDATE ME ! I NEED THIS

ahem anyways :)

heeseung’s career began at eight years old when his parents finally gave in and allowed him to start go karting.

f1 was his dream! he had posters in his room. miniature car figurines in a glass case that he didn’t let anybody touch. he sat for every race, knew every driver and owned so much merch that his mother had to hide her credit card

it’s giving maddy knew who she was from a young age- it’s giving obsession- it’s giving me with my enhypen obsession-

it was clear from the get go that this kid had some talent. he knew what he was doing and he knew how to do it better than anyone else

though he’s always been a little bit of a shit talker and ended up in several friendly feuds with other upcoming drivers.

lmao can you imagine 8 year old heeseung bickering with max verstappen?

as he grew older, he began competing in various competitions, and won the majority of them which opened up the doors to competing internationally

years later, he secures a position in F3 and gradually works his way up to F2. eventually, he makes it into F1 as one of the most promising drivers, under the guidance of red bull

now let’s introduce you

*louder than heeseung* hey 😘😉

you met Heeseung at one of his karting races when he was 15. instantly recognizing his potential, you had him sign your phone case, insisting that he was going to be famous one day and you wanted to sell it on ebay when he did.

absolute icon if you ask me

he thought you were being ridiculous, but he couldn't help but feel flattered by your confidence. after signing your phone case, he surprised you by asking for your number.

and who are you to pass up on the opportunity to keep in touch with a soon to be famous racer?

i can race faster than him just sayin ✋🙂‍↔️🤚 broom broom

the two of you remained in touch, and you attended as many races as possible to support him as a best friend. two years later, just as he secured a seat in F2, heeseung nervously asked you to be his partner.

which, of course, you were more than happy to.

now, onto present day: f1 driver heeseung with you, his beloved partner.

not you in your wag era-

i genuinely see you owning a tiktok account where you kinda just post daily grwms or vlogs which feature heeseung and your life travelling with him

and everybody eats it up because they get to see the human side of heeseung not just the aggressive driver that shit talks everything and everyone

yes i’m making him a sassy shit talker because i want to SUE ME

you kinda prove to his haters that he’s actually a huge nerd with the cutest personality, which garners him a lot more support

his team ADORES you for this

but it’s also really funny because why is the p2 winner, cocky red bull driver giving your followers a haul on all of his toy story merch?

his helmet is definitely custom designed as buzz lightyear and i find that absolutely adorable

he also has your initial on his helmet somewhere that everyone thinks is so sickeningly cute

he calls it his good luck charm

you receive some hate with jealous people accusing you of only wanting his money and fame

haters come outside i’m not gonna do anything. haha. i just wanna talk ( and set their hair on fire ) just a lil chit chat 😃

but for the most part, you are actually very much adored

if fans see you walking around, they call out for you to take pics with them

which you do, albeit with a little hesitance, as you’re not used to the spotlight and don’t quite understand why people idolise you.

ummmm because you’re perfect🫶 hope this helps

in this scenario, you’re a full time influencer which makes it easy for you to travel alongside him and attend all of his races

which is good because you couldn’t make his japan gp due to an issue and he damn near lost his mind

bro was STRESSING

i would be too if i had u and had to deal with a couple days without u 🫶

he made it everyone’s issue

his team were so tired of him that they sent you multiple texts begging for you to get on a flight

he was so sassy during his interviews and the viewers immediately knew it was because you weren’t there

‘bringy/nback’ trended with memes making fun of him for being a brat without you there

he finished really badly that weekend

bro relies on you fr

when you eventually returned at his side for his next race

he was back to his angelic self

you made him apologize to all the team

imagine you stood behind him with your arms crossed, shaking your head while he sheepishly apologises in front of everyone for being difficult HAHHAHA

he was all smiles in his interview and got p1 because he was eager to impress you

gigglin and kickin my feet BECAUSE HES SO CUTE

and you’re stood in the paddock, watching with the biggest grin on your face

when the podium celebration rolls around, you’re front row and he makes sure you get hit with some champagne with the biggest shit eating grin you’ve ever seen

he ruined your very expensive outfit but you didn’t have it in you to be mad

i would never do that to you personally- just saying, your clothes would always be in pristine condition if you were with me… just sayin ✋😌🤚

when the two of you leave literally anywhere, he gets swarmed by fans

tells them to wait a second, and gets you to the car safely before he jogs over to sign some stuff

if you can’t get to the car, he makes sure your hand is in his, keeping you close whilst he signs things

he’s always hyper aware of your safety in public

if you’re instantly met with flashing lights, he will either cover your eyes or take off his hat and put it on your head to shield you

your safety always comes before his

also can we talk about your fashion?

you always dress to impress, never a bad outfit day

pfft is anyone surprised? you’re literally gods gift to earth- MOVE HEESEUNG

travel days are always so tiring for heeseung

which is when you become the protective one

holding him protectively whilst you both wait for your flight

running your hands through his hair

he holds you so tight; he doesn’t care who sees or about getting teased by his fellow drivers

when you’re finally in the air, whether it be private jet or not, you always make yourself into a personal pillow for him

it could be the cushiest flight known to man, and you’d still be his pillow

that should be me fr

he sleeps like a baby the whole time

and you don’t mind because you know he needs it

in the days leading up to the championship, he becomes…

unbearable? whiny? annoying? come here, i’d never- sorry sorry 😔

tense…

his stress levels are through the roof and nothing really helps other than just letting him be

he’s snappier than usual, but after many years together, you’ve learned to let it go

because you know this is a huge deal for him and he always apologises afterwards

the only thing you can really do is serve as his support and try to relax him as best as you can

like couple spa days when his schedule isn’t crammed

sightseeing to enjoy the beautiful country

even lying in your hotel room the night before, reminiscing about your relationship and his journey to becoming one of the best

you’d feel his heartbeat beneath your back which would be pressed up against him

his shaky breaths against the side of your neck as he pressed nervous kisses beneath your ear, nibbling slightly on the lobe

god… i’ve seen what you’ve done for others

“will you still love me if i don’t win tomorrow?”

you can tell he’s straddling the line between joking and genuinely needing reassurance

so, you do what you always do

you turn, cup both of his cheeks in your palms, and press your forehead against his

“you look funny.”

he’d giggle, and you’d start wiggling your eyebrows to make him laugh harder

and he always does, because to him, you’re the funniest person he’s ever met

then, you’d scrunch up your nose and gently sweep it against his, eventually leaving a kiss on the bridge.

“i will love you no matter what. even if you wake up tomorrow and decide that you want to quit, i will love you. even if you decide to walk away from it all, i will love you. because at the end of the day, it’s not the trophies that matter or the podiums. it’s you. you, you, you! your happiness, your peace of mind. you are my greatest achievement; you are my championship win. and i will love you until my heart beats its last pump of blood.”

if you look closely, you can see me drowning in the shower-

a million kisses are shared that night before the two of you finally slip into a steady sleep

when the next morning rolls around, heeseung doesn’t talk much as he gets himself ready for the race

you’re a bundle of nerves as you follow behind him, hand clutched in his own

pre race cuddles are a must in his little rest room

there’s not much talking, heeseung quite likes his silence to gather his mind and enter his racing headspace

but his hold on you, and the way he looks at you speaks for itself. you don’t need his words to know that he loves you and he wants to win not only for himself or red bull, but you.

“if we win this, i’ll give you my helmet to sell on ebay. i think it would go nicely with the signature i gave you at 15.”

your heart quite literally melts into a puddle at the memory

you grin, peppering a bunch of kisses all over his face until you finally land on his lips, soaking in the pre race nerves and savouring the taste of nutella from his pancakes he had that morning

“oh, i am going to be absolutely loaded.”

the two of you share a laugh, knowing silently that you’d never sell it on ebay because it’s tucked away in your memory box, where it will stay until you’re grey and old

a piece of the past where the two of you very first met

the peace drains from the room as though a plug had been pulled from the bathtub, with tension and nerves flooding in

look at me getting all poetic 😌

heeseung doesn’t let go of your hand until he absolutely has to

leaving you alongside his family members with a kiss so passionate it left your mind reeling

his mother grabs your hand after sharing her own moment with him, and the two of you hold on tight to the hope that he’s going to win

the race is tense, you’re almost in tears from the chaos and the nerves

your heart feels like it’s seconds from stopping as the end to the final lap approaches with heeseung in close second

he’s going to overtake, and you’re not quite sure whether your heart could handle it

STOP WHY IS MY HEART POUNDING AS IF IM THERE PLS

you grip onto his mother, the two of you holding onto each other in anticipation

it happens within seconds, you barely have time to process it

heeseung overtakes, barely missing the Ferrari car as he does so

several seconds later, your world stops as the red bull team bursts into celebration

someone is shaking you, gripping onto you with pure elation but everything is in slow motion

heeseung just won the world championship

your heeseung just won

nah because why am i crying? someone take my laptop i’m far too into this

you choke out a sob, allowing his mother to cradle you in her arms with tears flowing down her own cheeks

you’re a crying mess, blubbering proudly and unable to make sense of anything

you don’t even care that the camera is on you, displaying your reaction for everyone to see

“he did it!”

“he absolutely did!”

you don’t know how much time has passed before he’s running towards you, yanking the helmet off

there’s no time to process anything before he sweeps you up into his arms, pressing kisses all over your skin wherever his lips could fit

he holds you like you’re the trophy, lifting you up proudly like a medal

tears cascade down your cheeks like a summer waterfall, while warmth and joy spread through you

he did it. he actually did it.

“get that helmet signed, boy. i’m gonna be rich!”

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marvelstars · 2 months ago

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I was thinking about the worst part when it comes to Obi-Wan and Anakin´s relationship issues wasn´t the tragic end in ROTS but those seeds planted at the start of their story where Obi-Wan resented Qui-Gon´s attention for Anakin while he felt the boy wasn´t much to look at and a future issue for his master with the Council in the long run which made Obi-Wan worried for his master reputation and how this would be affected while he could care less about Anakin´s well being or his pov or even his feelings on the matter.

The worst part is that Anakin didn´t just listen to Obi-Wan´s words, he could feel all of this from Obi-Wan as sensible as he was with the force and he could deal with Obi-Wan seeing him as a problem as long as Qui-Gon was alive and seemed to genuinely care for him even if nobody else at the Jedi Temple seemed to care but when Qui-Gon died he should have felt very lonely with a new guardian grieving his master who saw him more like a promise to his master legacy than a person.

Imagine all those times 9 year old Anakin missed his Mom or cried himself to sleep thinking about her, wondering if she was alright while other padawans teased him about his former slave status, his lack of formal education or his difficulty understanding concepts they have been told since they were babies, while not having any close relationship for the mere fact he didn´t grow up with them and his master more or less agreed with them even if he didn´t openly said it.

Anakin didn´t even have someone to have his back while he was growing up at the temple, because from their perspective those were issues he had to get over, no need for someone to support him emotinally or simply showed him some empathy, those were the same issues Obi-Wan had with Anakin since the moment they meet and while Anakin certainly did his best to grow into his potential, stydying hard and doing well on his studies, he was hardly recognized by his master, when his efforts were seen as arrogance instead of efforts to get the approval of his master and his peers.

Imagine that level of loneliness that your only company during your development years were the droids who helped you remember home and your Mom while at the same time feeling guilty for not feeling welcome at the temple because you were free and feed while your mother and friends were slaves and often lacked food and no one in the area could even begin to understand how Anakin felt and why except "Palpatine" but instead of helping Anakin he used this to manipulate him, get his trust and later make him fall to madness and the darkside.

The Sith Lord master understood better than anybody else at the Jedi temple that Anakin needed a father figure, not a master or a cold envoirment because that was familiar to him, that gave him emotional strenght and stability and more importantly, that make Anakin trust them and give his loyalty, no wonder he decided leaving Anakin to train as a Jedi in such circunstances were proper eteps towards becoming his sith apprentice and that irony probably didn´t escape him or Vader once he fell to the darkside but I don´t think Obi-Wan quite got that understanding until later when he saw Luke grow up with the Lars family but certainly not in the first few years post ROTS, he probably just reflected on where did he go wrong with Anakin.

#star wars #obi wan kenobi #anakin skywalker #darth sidious #Qui-Gon Jinn #Shmi Skywalker

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tiredandoptimistic · 1 month ago

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Fresh off a rewatch of Geothermal Escapism and feeling emotions (this turned into an overlong Troy Barnes analysis post and I'm inviting you on the journey)

The thing that really sticks with me, especially when you consider the rest of season five (and also the show as a whole), is how truly I'm convinced that Troy did need to go on that voyage. He went from a guy who wore his letterman jacket to college and bragged about being prom king, to somebody who was unapologetically himself and content with being judged for it. Despite all this growth, Troy still wasn't his own person; not entirely.

I keep thinking about the bit in Repilot, where Jeff argues that Troy's life was ruined by Greendale because he now revolves entirely around "another man." Putting aside the blatant homophobia, Jeff is kinda right. When asked what he's doing with his life, Troy excitedly talks about what Abed is up to. Now, there's nothing wrong with being supportive and it's clear that Troy feels content with putting Abed's goals first, but it is concerning when you think in context of his arc. In season three, there was the pillow and blanket war as an extension of Troy's frustration with always being the sidekick. Even though they work through a lot of their issues and have an honest discussion about how Abed never saw Troy as lesser, there's still clearly some level of fear that one day he will. We see this in season four, during Inspecticon, when Troy is genuinely afraid that Abed will leave him for someone who (in Troy's mind) is a better match for his intellect. Once again Abed proves that he wouldn't want anybody else, but that's not the end of it. By the start of season five it's great that Troy is comfortable playing support to Abed's goals, but he still hasn't fully resolved the base issues. Yes, he's confident in his worth as a supporter rather than a leader, but he's still never figured out who he is alone.

Looking back at Troy's season one characterization, it's clear that his main struggle as a person is not knowing who he is or what he wants. He defines himself entirely as a quarterback and prom king, even when it's clear that nobody else actually takes that seriously. Even Annie, who knew Troy as the untouchable king of the popular kids and is seriously crushing on him (in a comphet way but that's another post), sees his jock identity as something that's holding him back. In the pilot, Troy has a chat with Jeff about his letterman jacket; expressing how insecure all the jokes make him. It's clear from this that he has no confidence in his own identity. He wears the letterman jacket because he's Troy The Quarterback, doesn't know how to handle that being seen as a bad thing, and goes to Jeff for advice because he needs someone else to tell him what version of himself to become. Whatever choice Troy makes for how to dress, it's about finding the quickest way to balance likeability with the illusion of his own convictions. Like Jeff tells him, "either way, it's for them."

Throughout season one, Troy struggles with his own identity through his friendships with the entire study group, most notably Abed. Despite his meathead persona, Troy's silly side starts to come out in the very second episode, when he and Abed do their iconic Spanish rap during the end card. After that, we see their friendship gradually develop through these short comedic bits. During this time, in "Football, Feminism, and You," we see Troy caught in a conflict between Jeff (who wants him to go back to football) and Annie (who wants him to become more academic). In the end, Jeff and Annie both feel bad for trying to warp Troy to fit thier ideals, and Troy settles on playing football purely because he enjoys the game. After that, Troy and Abed's friendship finally comes out of the end cards and into the show itself. The example I wanna talk about is "Environmental Science," when Troy is once again forced to choose between what he wants to do and how he wants to be seen. At the start of the episode, he embarrases himself in front of his science class by freaking out from fear of Fievel the rat. For the rest of the episode, Troy is unwilling to commit to helping Abed find Fievel by singing their romantic duet because he's already admitted weakness and that highlights his insecurities. He's been getting more comfortable goofing off with Abed, but suddenly he feels all the ways in which his expressions of his actual personality have opened him up to ridicule. Of course the episode ends with Troy joining Abed in their duet to save Fievel, and he even faces his fear of touching the rat to get him back to his cage. From that point onwards, Troy and Abed's friendship is more or less firmly established. I could go into all the ups and downs, but this post is long as hell already and I've still got more to say.

During seasons two and three, Troy almost entirely gives up the tough guy act and accepts that he's a big softie who thinks Abed is the coolest guy in the world for being so unapologetically himself at all times. He's always denied his interests for the sake of appearing likeable and tough, so meeting Abed and seeing that it's possible to be happy and loved a weirdo who never pretends to be anything else is kinda groundbreaking for him. He still has his ups and downs (like when he ditches their matching costumes for the sake of attracting girls in "Epidemiology"), but for the most part he's found a comfortable new role as Abed's Best Friend. Hell, during Shirley's wedding in "Urban Matrimony and the Sandwich Arts," Troy is the one who decides it's not worth trying to be normal when they can be themselves. In "Early 21st Century Romanticism," Troy gives up a date with a girl (something he supposedly really wants) because she won't accept Abed's weirdness. What I'm getting at here is that Troy has given up his high school identity and adopted a new one, but that brings with it some of the same old problems.

By the time season five rolls around, Troy is not an individual. He is one half of a pair: TroyandAbed. This isn't an inherently bad thing; we are a communal species and it's normal and healthy to embrace the fact that you can't function independantly of others. The problem is that he transitioned so smoothly from Prom King Troy to Abed's Best Friend Troy that he never had time in the middle as just Troy. It's wonderful that Abed helped Troy discover one way to express himself and be genuinely happy, but he still only really learned how to do that on Abed's terms. The only thing we see Troy do without Abed is build a blanket fort, which is still fundamentally about Abed. He also dates Britta, but that feels more like Troy trying to prove that he can have an adult relationship and Britta trying to prove that she can stay with a guy who isn't the fucking worst (I love you Britta but your taste in men is rancid). It's clear that both of them are more in love with the idea of a stable relationship than with each other. For their entire relationship Troy is more invested in Abed and Britta is fine with that. He may be sleeping in a separate bedroom, but he's still living in the blanket fort, y'know?

This brings me back to Pierce's will, and his final gift to Troy; a chance to become his own man. Pierce may have the worst opinions on everything, but I still think this opportunity is what Troy needed at that point in his life. He finally gets a chance to explore everything the world has to offer, entirely detached from other people who can warp his opinions. Troy is a mirror, he reflects what's around him. He needs some time on his own to figure out what it is he really wants for himself. Plus, getting to dock in places all over the world gives Troy the chance to be whoever he wants without fear of meeting expectations. He can do anything, try anything; comfortable in the knowledge that he's not impressing anyone. And, at the end, he is able to look back on everything he's experienced and decide once and for all what his happiness looks like. I choose to believe that it's going home to Abed, fully informed of the alternatives and aware that playing support doesn't mean giving up your own identity.

#whoaah that was a lot #i have been typing for far too long but apparently i have some fucking thoughts about this man #i just think it's so important that troy loves abed more than anything else but he also hasn't really experienced anything else #abed can reassure troy that he'd never pick another friend but that doesn't help troy's fundamental insecurities about his own worth #maybe abed will choose him but will troy choose himself?#so yeah i guess #troy barnes #abed nadir #annie edison #jeff winger #britta perry #shirley bennett #pierce hawthorne #community #nbc community #community tv show #troy and abed #trobed #oh yeah if it wasn't clear i ship these two big time but also i think their relationship is wonderful in any context #guys i'm running so late but i have more things to say #troy is getting in the way of my productivity #my analysis

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gamefan546 · 2 months ago

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Here’s an overly long analysis about how Mr Puzzles always seems to end up alone and how that’s effected my view on the character. Feel free to read if you want idk.

So, after the latest video, I’ve sort of realized that Mr Puzzles seems to have this pattern of ending up completely alone, and it sort of caused my mind to spiral on about how this pattern goes with his character...

Let’s take a look at his backstory for a moment. The main catalyst as to why he ended up the way that he did is because he never had any friends as a child. From what little we see of his childhood during Creative Control, it seems like nobody really wanted to be his friend, no matter how much he tried to find anybody who can be his buddy. And while we don’t get any info on his parents (apart from Puzzles saying his father told him not to talk to strangers in D.M.P), the fact that he spent most of his life in front of a TV screen could suggest that they weren’t a big part of his life, if at all.

Then we get to D.M.P, where he finds Leggy. As far as we know, Leggy is one of, if not the first persons in Puzzles life to offer him any sort of support, even if it’s only because she’s in one of his parodies. Throughout the episode, we see Puzzles get genuinely attactched to Leggy as an ally, even going as far as to nearly have a panic attack when she get’s snatched away (by Smg4 of all people, I might add). By the end of the video, we see that he does appreciate Leggy being a partner-in-crime for him, even if he doesn’t really want to admit it and just wants to see her as a means to an end.

But by the end of the very next episode, we see Leggy, Puzzle’s only friend, get taken away for real as she reverts back to Meggy. As she unknowingly betrays Mr Puzzles, he goes through a brief moment of shock and sadness, before it quickly turns to rage that he directs at Mario. He goes as far as to say he *ruined* his life. This is more than him just being upset that his plans were foiled again. Whether he knew it or not, Mario just took away Puzzle’s one chance of having a friend.

Now we go on to the latest video, where we see him literally make a new ally in the form of Pedro; who, like Leggy, ends up leaving him to hang out with Mario. During the ending, Puzzles seems to go through a little reverse-version of how he was at the end of A Night at Smg4’s: he’s seen being furious with Mario, before quickly reverting to just being sad. Like his last big scheme, it just ends with him being alone, just like during his childhood.

With all these moments where Puzzles ends up sad after loosing potential friends in mind, I can’t help but look at his break down at the end of Puzzlevision in a different way. At first, it just seems that he’s distraught at the fact that the show he saw as “the stupidest show he’s ever seen” managed to beat out his own show’s ratings. But when looking at how he’s reacted to having his allies be taken away, I feel like maybe it’s less about that, and more so the fact that because of it, no one is able to be under his mind control anymore, and so he has no chance of having anyone alongside him.

When we see Mr. Puzzles controlling everyone after her gets 5 stars, he seems genuinely exited about the idea of EVERYONE being a part of his show. Maybe it’s not just because he likes the idea of life being one big TV show that he directs, but also because with everyone under his control, he finally has people that will be along side him. After a life of solitude where no one was his friend, he finally gets the chance to have EVERYONE be his friend. But as we all know, that dream of his quickly gets shattered.

I’m also wondering if the reason that reasons why Puzzles started targeting Smg4 and his cast wasn’t just “he didn’t like their show��, but also that he was envious of how many friends G4 has. When you think about it, G4 and Puzzles aren’t too different. Smg4 is a weirdo who’s obsessed with watching and creating memes, just like how Puzzles is a weirdo who’s obsessed with watching and creating TV shows; only Smg4 gets a whole cast of friends who have his back, while Mr. Puzzles has always ended up alone time and time again.

What’s especially tragic about this is that you can’t really blame the fact that Mr. Puzzles has no friends on anyone but himself. Puzzles has done HORRIBLE things, and has actually put the gang through some torture in some of his schemes. There’s a good reason why Meggy was so quick to pull her splattershot on him. Yet despite that he never changes himself. He never tries to actively make friends, never tries to see the error of his ways, and never tries to better himself. He’s always just too obsessed with himself to do all of that, even if changing would probably make him much happier…

Oh boy, there I go thinking WAY too deeply about the funny Super Mario Gmod series that I don’t even like that much again…

#smg4 mr puzzles #mr puzzles #smg4 #character analysis #I’m definitely thinking way too deeply about this.#smg4 puzzlevision

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vegaseatsass · 6 months ago

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Rewatched My Stand-In eps 2 and 3 tonight, and I'm definitely newly fascinated with Ming POV/Ming's internal concept of what was happening between him and Joe that entire time. I forgot just how much we got of Ming's home life and family in episode 2, and my brain is abuzz trying to connect all the dots. His relationship with May is so interesting. She clocks that he and Joe are together on Christmas, and is immediately careful to conceal it not just from their parents but from Tong. May and Ming have this "us against the world" vibe where they protect and cover for each other, going back to May giving herself pneumonia saving Ming from drowning. I absolutely believe there's more going on in their family than mom pressuring Ming to marry women any time he goes home - I actually suspect things about his family are being obscured for future painful reveals - but May is a safe space for him. Until Tong is added into the picture, and Ming has to flee the country for four years to get away from his big feelings. It's just kind of bonkers to me that he had this intense, safe and presumably very grounding relationship with his sister, but made his obsession with a random movie star the centerpiece of his world instead. Why did he imprint on Tong? Is it really just Joe's sexy back muscles that drew him in? Did he think if he could land a famous movie star his parents would accept him being with a man? Was it subconscious self-sabotage of his only safe relationship lol? I genuinely have no idea!! What I am stuck on though is when he told May he was working through something, and would tell her when he was ready, but he promised he'd get through it. On rewatch, it seems very obvious that what he's talking about is the torch he's carrying for Tong, so to me that's a reveal that he's deliberately trying to move on with Joe - not using him as a sex doll replacement, but throwing himself into something real. (What's messy obviously is that Ming started this for the proxyfucking, but I think overhearing Joe confess his love for Ming to Sol is when Ming started making a determined effort to choose Joe.) There's also his reaction to Joe's Christmas gift where the watch becomes a metaphor for Joe himself (vs. Tong): Ming doesn't need the "top" one, why can't he want the "normal" one?

The first time I was watching this, I assumed that Ming just has no internal awareness of how important Joe is to him, he just feels pure need and acts very very normal when his emotional support stand-in is ripped away. I assumed Ming believes he's in love with Tong and thinks he's just passing some time with Joe. It doesn't help that every time Joe presses him on anything emotional Ming shuts him down or outright negs him lolllll

But like for example, in the scene where they're shopping together and Joe gets excited about the couple mugs, first Ming snaps "What makes you think we're a couple?", then he tries to mitigate his slip by playing it off: "after living with me, you'll realize you don't want me as a boyfriend." His kneejerk impulse to shut Joe down and say cruel things is imo a defense mechanism, a really maladaptive one that helps convince Joe later on that there was never any love there, but I'm starting to think it's triggered in response to actually wanting the intimacy and primacy that Joe is pushing for, and being terrified of that.

It would make so much sense for somebody who is terrified of needing anybody else, of being vulnerable or feeling anything real, to decide they're in love with a complete asshole movie star who uses their family for money and them personally for favors, and shape their life around that. Especially now that I understand how young Ming was when he first fixated on Tong (17ish??), I just feel like that entire imprinting is your classic teenager-who-is-not-ready-to-be-in-a-real-relationship parasocial spiral. I used to do it with male celebrities too!!! (I am a lesbian. lmfaooo)

It's interesting because while there's something conceptually romantic about the back Ming first got obsessed with being Joe's all along, it ultimately doesn't really matter to me WHO the onscreen person that he fixated upon was. What matters is how ill-equipped Ming has proven to handle real feelings for a real person in front of him, and the journey he has from here to learn how to human. I can't wait. P.S. Other thing I forgot happened in episode 2: - Ming made drunk!Joe sleep on the floor of Joe's own home - BEFORE Ming moved in or had any claim to the space - AFTER Ming told Sol he would take "really really good care of Joe" as a way of trying to claim Joe in front of the competition His journey to human is going to be a loooooooooooooooooong one, methinks... 😈

#this post is huge but i am also fascinated by tong and his possessiveness over joe as his stand-in #and manipulation of everyone around him #and expectation that joe is with ming for the same reason tong would be with ming #(the reason tong is with may):#opportunism #it also makes me wonder what tong's like with may and if he CAN act for more than 5 minutes at a time when motivated #but he really brings out ming's worst and it's soooooooo interesting that ming is afraid for TONG to know what he has with joe #(and that tong does immediately try to use that. IMMEDIATELY)#my stand in #dear diary #mingjoe

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emeryhiro · 4 months ago

Text

My Thoughts on TBOC SDCC Panel & Interviews

First off, I felt like a kid again watching Melissa and Norman on an SDCC panel for the first time and was overwhelmed by so many positive emotions ♡

Regarding what was covered during the panel and what I'll be sharing my thoughts on, in this post, I'm going to try to keep it brief and only talk about things that are new to me compared to what I heard during the Tribeca panel and in my thoughts post on it [here].

~~~~~~

Zabel on his responsibility with the show:

Firstly, Zabel is actually pretty funny, and every time he speaks about the show I find myself trusting him more and more and feeling more confident that he knows what he's doing. I especially loved how he said, and I quote:

"There is a responsibility to live up to the standards of The Walking Dead, the standards that Norman and Melissa had as actors creating these characters. So that's the part where you wanna make sure that you don't let anybody down, you don't let the fans down, you don't let the actors down, you don't let the history of the show down. You have to at least try to maintain the same standard and hopefully maybe even push it forward."

Melissa, on her return to the show:

It was wonderful hearing her speak about how much she missed Carol and how excited she is about, and I quote:

"getting to go forward in France, where [Norman] set the roots, thank you very much. I had some things I had to do"

and how France will be a catalyst for all sorts of changes for Daryl and Carol.

I love how much she said she enjoyed the role of an EP, and I have no doubt she's brilliant in it. My main thought here is that I really hope that, like Lauren and Danai, she also has the chance to direct an episode in season 3, because whatever she touches will end up being Gold.

Norman on Daryl and Carol's bond:

I loved how he described their bond as cosmic and beyond tangible. Carol can sense that there's something wrong with Daryl even from across an ocean and vice versa, which is so true to their characters. They don't need to say a single word for the other to understand everything they're thinking and feeling.

Also, when he said:

"He's starting to lose that feeling cause he's been there so long,"

Melissa's face and reaction had me laughing out loud. What do you mean, Norman? Can you please elaborate on that for us?

If I had to guess what he means, I'd say it links to Daryl's self-esteem and his idea of self-worth. As I've mentioned before, it's obvious to me that the longer Daryl has been away from Carol, the more he's regressing into his old self and habits, and I think this feeds into that. I think he doesn't believe he's worth being loved, searching for, or crossing the Atlantic for. And that sense of security and confidence that he'd built with his family in America is slowly climbing away.

In comparison, Carol has always been one of, if not the strongest, characters on the show. Yes, she is struggling without Daryl, but the moment she's told his life is in danger, she has this overpowering sense of motivation and strength that she'll do anything to save him.

Norman on his favourite scene (The Reunion):

The words he used to describe the reunion scene and how he felt about it really had me in a puddle... especially the comparison he makes at the end, and I quote:

"When we meet, when that finally happens, there's a build to that that happens, and we worked really hard to make that scene what it was, and that kind of was fireworks going off inside me"

This is the sweetest description of the scene, and I don't know if my heart can handle it.

Additional moments I loved:

I love how both Melissa and Norman keep checking on Louis to make sure he's okay.

Norman calling Melissa his partner in crime, describing how excited he was for her to come back, watching her work, and Melissa's reactions to his words 😭❤️‍🩹

Overall, I just love how they appreciate, support, and genuinely love each other so much ♡♡♡

~~~~

Thank you for taking the time to read this. We're so close to having them back on our screens, and I'm so overwhelmed by the excitement for the new season!!

I'd love to read all of your thoughts on the trailer and panel, whether in response to this post or a post of your own; I can't wait to read it ♡♡♡

#daryl dixon #carol peletier #the book of carol #twd #caryl #caryl positivity

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ariseur · 6 months ago

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May I request a headcanon for Sephiroth with an S/O who loves to sing?

sephiroth with someone who loves to sing hc’s 𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪

sephiroth (ffvii) x reader

┊ ˚➶ notes ｡˚ 🎼

i wrote this while watching ‘isle of dogs’ and now i wanna cry a little bit 😞

┊ ˚➶ warnings ｡˚ 🎼

mentions and two to four bullets of post nibelheim sephiroth, intended lowercase, lmk if i missed anything 💕!!

. ˚◞♡ ⃗ *ೃ༄ . ˚◞♡ ⃗ *ೃ༄ . ˚◞♡ ⃗ *ೃ༄ . ˚◞♡ ⃗ *ೃ༄

❥ getting started right away, i think this would be like heaven for both pre nibelheim and post nibelheim sephiroth.

❥ when i first read this request, i couldn’t stop thinking about this one image where sephiroth’s just flat out-tired and he comes home, utterly collapsing into your arms until you finally give into his pleas to sing to him. and when you finally look back down at him, you see him all tranquil resting his head on your lap— hair splayed out beneath him in an almost ethereal manner. so great, now you have a 6’1” / 185cm first class SOLDIER sleeping on you. i almost imagine sephs like a really big cat in this scenario— .. or any scenario, really.

❥ i think it soothes him to a great degree, even hearing your voice while you speak to him is an honor in itself. so after a tiring day, your voice is just what he needs.

❥ god forbid you’re insecure about your voice or you think you don’t sing well, this man will prove you wrong and he will leave no room for argument. it’s not even like he means to be so stubborn, he just doesn’t understand how anybody could find your voice unappealing for you are the siren and he is the sailor— waiting to be lured into your trap for one sliver of hope once more.. except you wouldn’t eat him.

❥ i love the idea that sephiroth just appears around random corners, or like, he’s so quiet you don’t notice when he’s right behind you. so i just imagine you’re singing or muttering your favorite song while you’re completing whatever mundane task, before turning around and seeing your tall ass lover just admiring you lol. it gets kinda creepy, but he means well i swear. he’s just a tad bit awkward 😭

❥ if you have any career related to singing or if you desire to, sephiroth is your biggest fan!! if you’re already employed as a singer or musician, he will show up to all your performances and just absolutely admire you in awe. if it’s at a club, he might not go considering he’d be recognized— you know, considering he’s labeled as a war hero and an icon of shinra. so he’d feel bad regardless if he went or not because he really wants to support you, but he doesn’t want to steal the spotlight from you because god knows you deserve it.

❥ if you wish to pursue a career in music but you don’t know where to start, he will help you!! he’ll ask everybody and anybody for advice to give to you or to see if they can pull a few strings to get you in somewhere. he’ll want to support you the best he can, after all— you’ve supported him all this time as well, haven’t you? it’s only fair that he does the same, whether you guys were together or not i’m sure he’d still want to support you in whatever way he can.

❥ while post-nibelheim seph still loves your voice, he doesn’t care all that much as he would before nibelheim. he’s too busy plotting revenge on the world, you know, because this planet IS his birthright after all. he’ll still encourage you to sing; he promises that once he has control over this world— the world that he believes was promised to him, he’ll put your face everywhere for everyone to see and come to your shows as he wants them to witness your glory and talent before them.

❥ i’d like to think there’s at least a sliver of humanity in sephiroth after the events that took place in nibelheim, and i believe he only wants to be loved after so many years of being deprived of genuine affection and adoration. so i’m imagining that one day, he uncharacteristically falls into your arms ( and if you had met him pre-nh then i’d imagine you’d tear up at least a little bit thinking sephiroth still has some of his sweetness left in him ), and asks that you sing him something, like how you used to. and sephiroth falls asleep in your arms, clutching your waist as he buries his head in your stomach with a tight hold. just like how he used to.

｡ﾟ•┈୨♡୧┈ ｡ﾟ

“what was that song you sung to me last night?”

you cocked your head at SEPHIROTH’s inquiry, hands still carding through the silkiness of his hair. it was an odd sight to see. the war hero, sephiroth, draped over your body as he rested his chin on your shoulder as he interrupted the quietude, his velvet words almost blending in with it.

“what song?” you asked. you felt small puffs of his breathing on your shoulder as you patted his back. you could tell from his soft breaths that he was tired, almost coming out in sighs rather than deep breaths. you didn’t even have to look at him to guess that his eyes were probably drooping close with just your voice alone.

“i’m not sure,” his voice trailed off into a quiet amused chuckle, his full body weight resting on you, “that’s why i’ve asked you.”

sephiroth could feel your eye roll, even from where he was positioned. and at first, he believed you would’ve given up on trying to recall the song and would instead lay in silence with him, which wasn’t so bad either way.

but then your voice began— and it was like you casted a spell on him. his eyelashes fluttered with each lyric that left your lips, melodies that echoed in his brain constantly only in the form of your voice. hell, he’d even hear a sweet song on the television and he’d imagine it was you behind the microphone, singing those sweet tunes to him as you looked at the camera. it didn’t help how you rubbed his back so soothingly, he could already feel the serenity of sleep overtaking him as the soft whispers of your voice got to him.

he finally let his forehead rest against you, closing his eyes as he made a note of a promise of only to sleep for five minutes— although you both knew that it definitely wouldn’t be just five minutes, not after the day he had. your words faltered for a moment as you let a sweet chuckle slip past your lips at the man before you, trying to stifle your laughter as he groaned at the vibrations in your chest, clearly grumpy in his half-sleepy state.

you kept singing, lulling him into a state of sleep in which he’d dream of you, your voice only fueling his idea of you as a divine being come down unto to bless him, for what reason he doesn’t know— but he’ll enjoy it for just a little bit longer.

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strawberrymilk-sunshine · 2 years ago

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OK, one more. I'm on a secret admirer thing right now. How about some head-cannons about the yandere vice-dorm leaders as a secret admirer.

Thank you!

Yes yes yes I can do that!

ALSO WAS ANYBODY GOING TO TELL ME THAT RUGGIE ISN'T THE VICE DORM LEADER OF SAVANNACLAW?! LIKE, I WAS SURE HE WAS, BUT I GUESS I WAS WRONG. (I'm adding him to this out of spite)

Warning(s): drugging, kidnapping, implications of wanting to injure the reader, mind control, accidental(?) gaslighting, stalking, Lilia's part might not be great because I genuinely had no idea what to do

Trey Clover

Trey would send you hand-made baked goods every day!

Often along with a short letter signed by "your secret admirer"

Along with the letters and baked goods, he also sends you flowers!

Of course, Trey is the first person you expect when your secret admirer's calling card so to say is sending you baked goods and flowers

But, luckily for him, he's good at throwing you off his trail. He'll send a few things that make you believe it could be someone else...

To be fair, you don't know many other people who attend NRC, maybe it is someone other than Trey.

As the days go on, the letters get... more intense.

It's clear this person, your secret admirer, wants you now.

Tonight, Trey's putting something special in the pastry he's making you

After you eat it, he'll visit you and bring you home with him.

"Morning, (Y/N). Did you have a good sleep? Did the pastry taste good? You know, I used a sprecial family recipe for tha- Huh? What's with that face? You don't have any reason to be shocked, I'm sure you knew this was going to happen, those letters I sent you did have a few red flags..."

Ruggie Bucchi

Ruggie would be very good at hiding his identity from you

I mean, don't you think a man like him would be good at keeping secrets?

Ruggie doesn't send you baked goods or flowers, or anything like that... he instead sends you stuff he either stole or bought with Leona's money.

Candies, jewels, food... anything Ruggie can find, he'll send to you (and keep a bit for himself, obviously)

Day after day, you'll be given these gifts... and you appreciate it so much, you wish you knew who was giving them to you!

You'll even tell Ruggie about it. You'll tell him you have some kind of secret admirer, and how they've been giving you lots of gifts, and how badly you wish you knew who was sending them so you could thank that person directly!

Ruggie smirks to himself when you say that.

"Should I tell 'em...? Nah, not yet. I'll let things keep playing out until they give hints that they actually like me. Shishishi! Won't that be fun? (Y/N)'s gonna be real shocked when they find out it's me giving 'em those gifts! Grammy likes them, so marriage won't be a problem... I'm sure the rest o' the family will love 'em too!"

Jade Leech

Jade's love letters are... special.

The letters are very hastily written, like whoever wrote it's life depended on it.

They talk about hurting you, doing these horrible things to you... whoever your secret admirer is, they have a very messed up mind.

Jade makes you believe you can go to him for support.

"That sounds terrible, (Y/N). But you have no reason to worry, you can always turn to Octavinelle for protection."

You continue receiving these threatening letters... they get worse every day.

When you start to actually feel unsafe, you remember how Jade told you that you can always go to Octavinelle for protection, and while you don't exactly want to go to them for protection... what other option do you have?

The moment Floyd sees the letter, he tells you the truth.

"Oh yeah, Jade wrote that."

Huh. Jade Leech wrote these threatening letters to you? Jade Leech, vice housewarden of Octavinelle... the dorm you're currently in? Uh oh.

"Dear me, I wasn't intending on revealing myself this soon... though I suppose I have no choice now. I was intending on building your trust towards me and once things have progressed enough, reveal that I was the author, then breaking you entirely so you love only me, but... I guess I'll have to construct another plan. (Y/N), this will only hurt for a second."

Jamil Viper

Jamil, much like Trey, sends you home-made food.

You like the food so much! Who knew having a secret admirer could be this fun?

Jamil is good at keeping himself hidden from you, he's also a patient person. He'll keep himself hidden for as long as is necessary.

Kalim often invites you to the parties he throws... though, strangely enough, whenever you arrive, he seems not to recall inviting you.

"Oh well! The more the merrier, you know? I'm sure Jamil won't mind making a bit more food for you!"

But Jamil never has to make more food for you. Almost like he knew you were coming even though Kalim didn't.

One day, you receive a letter.

Come meet me in Scarabia dorm's lounge. I'll be waiting for you. - Your secret admirer

When you go there, you find Kalim. Kalim, standing there, empty.

"(Y/N)... he's waiting for you."

You hear a whisper in your ear, and then you forfeit all control of your body to Scarabia's vice housewarden.

"I'm glad everything worked out in the end."

Rook Hunt

Oh Rook, where to begin with Rook?

He sends you love letters every day in the form of poems signed by "ton admirateur secret"

Due to the ecessive use of French, you have your suspicions as to who's sending you these

Vil is close to Rook, so you ask him about it, but...

"No, it can't be Rook. He only has that kind of fascination with the inhuman students, like the beastmen, fae, and what little merfolk we have here. He wouldn't send that to a typical, not to mention magicless, human like you. It must be someone else."

Having no other evidence, you just assume Vil's right, and Rook isn't sending you letters...

It drives you crazy

You're determined to find out who is sending these, you begin staying up several nights in a row, just reading these letters over and over and over again...

You can only come to the conclusion that it was Rook.

So you ask him about it one day and...

"Oui. It was I sending those letters to you. I assume this is you coming to accept my confession?"

Well, even if you try to run, you can't escape from Rook. Even if you do, you two attend the same school so he'll just keep stalking you...

"Hm? What was that, mon amour? You do accept? Merveilleux! Let's talk to the Headmage sometime tomorrow! We'll discuss you transferring to my dorm so we can be even closer- Quel? You say you don't want that? Oh, mon amour, you have no idea what you truly want."

Lilia Vanrouge

Lilia is a very sweet secret admirer

He hides the fact that he is, to put it lightly, obssesed with you amazingly well (the others could learn a thing or two from him...)

It's just cute love letters! No stalking implications, no dubious baked goods, no talking about hurting you, nothing, just genuine confessions of love from a secret admirer!

Lilia can't help but watch over you

And then, well... dead bodies start turning up at the school

Of course, the Headmage only cares about what this will do to the overall public image of NRC...

Lilia takes care of you, from a distance

Lilia shows up directly at your door one day. He hands you a sewing needle, and then disappears into nothing.

A sewing needle? Why?

Well... spinning wheels aren't exactly that common nowadays.

As you examine the sewing needle, you accidentally prick your finger on it...

The next thing you know, you're in Lilia's arms

"Ah, you're finally awake, my dear. Did you enjoy your hundred-year-long dream? No no, there's no reason to cry! I know this is hard for you to understand... I know you're scared and confused, but everything will turn out ok. I only did this for your sake. To protect you."

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pearblossomrain · 13 days ago

Text

a rather tired summary of my birthday gp (it's 4am the next day for me so...):

[p.s. i missed last week's because it was at 3am and i had work at like 9am 💀]

• wow this is kind of a terrible home race for perez 😭 it's so bad i genuinely feel sorry for him cos this is just not it at all

• lap one crash oh real racing is so back....no but genuinely did someone curse this gp bc i feel like we've had 10 red flags/crashes already???

• speaking of crashes it's a miracle they got george russell's car ready in time for qualis like that thing was BANGED UP

• being a yuki fan ain't for the weak like wdym top 3 in fp then out in q2 of quali and THEN a dnf?? i swear he's had more dnfs than anybody this season and it's not even his fault?? everybody and their mums crashing into him 😭

• anyways kudos to piastri from making it into the points after starting from hell alongside perez because of, you guessed it, yet Another collision/crash....maybe mexico should have hired a team of religious leaders to bless the track 💀

• the saubers managed p14 and p15 hey those are MY goats!!! (that team is in such a bad state i cheer every time they aren't last and im not even a fan)

• on the topic of goats....haas consistently being in the points was sure as hell not on my bingo but hey i'll take it?? good for them like they're driving a shitbox and a half but pulling that damn thing UP

• enough yapping onto the big issues like that 20s penalty??? that's actually kind of ridiculous like we used to have a 5s penalty for that EXACT thing why is it suddenly 10s and stacked.....fia really are just doing whatever they want i swear

• ferrari. SCUDERIA FERRARI. why did they make charles hold back?? you do that when you're very comfortably ahead and think you can easily hold on to ur positions not when a mclaren ROCKETSHIP is about to chase ur ass down?? girl u could have gotten a 1-2 two weeks in a row!!

• in other news rip to fernando alonso like dnf-ing on ur 400th race start and not even bc of racing but due to ur CAR is mental did somebody sabotage that thing 😭

• the rookies are kind of funny like liam lawson just picking up enemies left right and center omfg i support track terrorism all the time but the middle finger wasn't necessary tbh.....and colapinto oh my god seriously someone get him in a seat for next year he's so funny and delivering like come ON.

• at this point i sound like a college student trying to extend their essay and hit a word count but i genuinely did NOT realize gasly was somehow in the points until the end?? when tf did any of that happen. when did he start p8 am i just blind af??

• also already covered this separately but seeing the 2 mercedes suddenly fight had me yelling at my screen like GUYS WE HAVE BIGGER ENEMIES AHEAD WYDDD we can't have a british civil war!!!! 🤡

tldr; so many red flags and collisions i felt like i was going insane. also i am never staying up for another race again the latest i'm going is midnight and that's it 💀💀 maybe i'm growing old or something but im not built for late night watching help

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antianakin · 10 months ago

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So the Ahsoka show happened, right? It was certainly...a show of all time. Clearly more profit-driven than not, like most media is. But from a writing perceptive, there was a lot of stuff in Ahsoka's character they could have explored, and the direction they took was to basically like ignore Ahsoka's past and the nuances of her character entirely to cater to a wider audience while also failing to make the wider audience care about anything either.

But anyways, I'm interested to know what concepts about like Ahsoka and like her character you would want to see. If there was a Ahsoka show catered to you specifically. Like what arcs, what explorations of her past, what characters that are important to her would make a return? I'm just curious to see how different people on here that are super into Star Wars stuff have like different interpretations of what they would want her character to go.

Oh yeah, I have a lot of thoughts on this, buckle up.

I personally feel like the best thing to do with Ahsoka is really make her DARK. She doesn't have to go full Sith or even Inquisitor or anything but I want her to be genuinely DARK to the point of selfishness and even almost cruelty. I want to see how Anakin's relationship TRULY impacted her in a negative way because I don't think that's something we've really seen much of before (Reva didn't HAVE a relationship with him before, Luke ultimately chooses to love Anakin and it 'saves' him, Obi-Wan still loves Anakin and can remember the positives despite all the negatives, Padme dies too early to really explore that).

Because here's the thing: I want Anakin to have RUINED her, I want him to have BROKEN her. The Jedi assign her to Anakin because they believe the best of him, but what we SEE is Anakin passing on more of Palpatine's Sith manipulations than the Jedi's own teachings, something that SHOULD have an interesting impact on Ahsoka down the line, having been under the guidance of the "bad father" during a formative time in her life and then very abruptly having what's left of her support system destroyed by that very person, leaving her abandoned and alone and incapable of relying on or trusting anybody.

Ahsoka is also in SUCH an interesting position post-Wrong Jedi arc as a Padawan who never finished their training but who had left the Jedi BEFORE Order 66 happened. Unlike characters like Cal or Kanan, she can't just go right back to who she was before the Jedi died, because she WASN'T A JEDI before Order 66. She'd left. So her path back to BEING a Jedi, if that's the journey you wanted to send her on, should look different than theirs. It isn't just a matter of deciding to take on the title again for her. She has to learn to let go of what happened in the Wrong Jedi arc, forgive those she feels have wronged her, and figure out how to trust HERSELF again before she can even start down the path of figuring out what it means to her to be a Jedi and how to reclaim that identity in a world where she can never rejoin the Order she left behind.

So the combination of both this very unique journey and the fairly unique way that her relationship with Anakin should've impacted her towards leaning into her own darkness would ideally create an obvious arc for Ahsoka to go on towards letting go of her fears, her pain, her grief, and coming back to being a Jedi UNLIKE Anakin. There should be a LOT more irony coming from Anakin telling her that she'd never make it as Obi-Wan's Padawan but that she might just make it as his because the truth is that she DOESN'T make it as Anakin's Padawan, that being Anakin's Padawan is what causes her NOT to make it as a Jedi, and only by letting go of Anakin and his teachings is she capable of reclaiming the Jedi she should've become.

And I think Rebels season 4 set us up fairly nicely to explore that by having her sort-of pushed to the brink with the revelation of Anakin's betrayal and then Ezra coming in to save her at the last second forcing her to live with that truth and everything it can (and could) mean. If we were going to get an Ahsoka show, THAT was the place to start it. Show us how Ahsoka gets off of Malachor, where she goes afterwards, what she was DOING during the time of the Original Trilogy that kept her from participating in those events, and let us SEE her actually deal with knowing who Anakin has chosen to be in the immediate aftermath of her confrontation with him, when she should be at her WORST.

Ahsoka was good before, still kind, compassionate, and she does help Ezra in the WBW with letting go of Kanan, but when she's left alone in the darkness of Malachor, it's harder to hold on to that, harder to remember how to let go of her own grief. And it starts to twist her, just a little, just enough, and when she gets out, she's not QUITE herself anymore and it's something she has to figure out how to heal from, both literally and figuratively.

In terms of structure, I'd have probably done a two season thing, with the first season being all about Anakin and letting go of him and coming back to being a Jedi in the immediate aftermath of Malachor and pre-ROTJ. This is where Ahsoka should be at her darkest, most vitriolic, most selfish, most cruel. Make her REALLY struggle, none of the quarter-assed slightly annoyed bullshit that the Ahsoka show actually gave her. Let her be genuinely WRONG and awful to people, REALLY highlight that Sith manipulation shit she learned from Anakin, LET HER TRULY HIT ROCK BOTTOM.

Look at the way Obi-Wan acts in the beginning of the Kenobi show, the way he abandons helping people like his co-worker and Nari, the cruel words he says to Nari about the Jedi, the really downtrodden attitude he has, the refusal to help Bail save Leia initially, his defeatism. He's BARELY the Obi-Wan we all knew and he has to WORK his way back to being that person again. In comparison, Ahsoka in the Ahsoka show says like... two slightly strict things to Sabine when Sabine is acting like a reckless brat and... that's about it. She's not honestly THAT FAR OFF from her Rebels personality, so I don't buy anything afterwards that's supposed to be about Ahsoka CHANGING for the better afterwards. I don't buy that Ahsoka needed some sort of Force intervention to make her "choose to live," I don't buy that Ahsoka's relationship with Sabine was because of HER distance, I don't buy that Ahsoka is genuinely fucked up all that much by Anakin's betryaal. I just don't.

And Ahsoka is a character who has consistently been shown to be rude, unfair, insensitive, reckless, mistrustful, and impatient. She WAS compassionate and kind before, yes, and that's where she would need to get back to, but she had a TON of traits that could easily be exaggerated to show how badly this was all affecting her that would make her rise back to being a Jedi feel all the more earned. Give her a couple of side characters (NEW characters, NO pre-established cameo characters who were clearly supposed to be the main characters of their OWN stories or who would pull focus from Ahsoka) to go on this journey with her that she has to learn to connect to and who help pull her out of the darkness somehow.

If you HAD to bring in a pre-established character here, this is where I'd bring in Barriss Offee and let Ahsoka sort-of learn to forgive Barriss for what she did in the Wrong Jedi arc as Barriss learns to redeem herself for her own choices. Barriss works as a proxy for Anakin and someone Ahsoka can be rude to without it immediately seeming unbelievable that that person would stick around; Barriss might be willing to just let Ahsoka take her anger out on her because she knows she's sort-of earned it. Ultimately Barriss would need to stand up for herself and the two of them sort-of work their way back out of their respective pits TOGETHER. The problem with using Barriss is that everything about Barriss's actions in the Wrong Jedi arc were wildly racist and badly set up and so this is something I wouldn't trust a lot of people to handle WELL, even though I think it would be a very relevant way to manage Ahsoka's journey through her darkness and back towards her identity as a Jedi.

The second season would be more about the war and her feelings on having spent the majority of her life fighting as a soldier and what that means for the kind of Jedi she's become and what she has to give to the galaxy and potentially to a padawan of her own, all set post-ROTJ. This time, she teams up with another random Force sensitive person (again, a NEW character, NO ONE pre-established) who wants Ahsoka to be their Jedi master and Ahsoka struggles with taking on this responsibility and whether she even CAN. And a nice ending could be Ahsoka showing up to Luke's school to finally meet him for the first time, now that she's able to stand in front of him without shame and without seeing someone else when she looks at him. (We're ignoring the Sequels here for this one because I Do Not Give A Fuck about the Sequels and what they did to Luke and the Jedi was horrible anyway, so we're choosing to ignore the Council's decision this time.)

If I was going to bring in a pre-established character for THIS season, it would be Rex. Rex is a really great symbol for the soldier she had to become and the war that took a large part of both of their lives from them. But Rex also symbolizes that not all of that was BAD, some of it led to good things, like her relationship with the clones. There's always light to be found in darkness, if you're willing to look for it. This would also be a great place to really flesh out that dynamic in a way that I don't think ANY of the shows really have.

Only after ALL OF THIS has been done do you get to go into the Rebels sequel show with Sabine to search for Ezra, now that Ahsoka's journey is done and she can just be support for someone else's story. (And at NO POINT in this would Sabine end up a fucking Force sensitive person or be apprenticed to Ahsoka as a Jedi of ANY KIND. Also this is my AU so this Sabine isn't a fucking selfish brat so Thrawn doesn't get released just so Sabine can have Ezra back or whatever.)

#star wars #ahsoka tano #barriss offee #captain rex #jedi #pro jedi #anakin critical #anakin skywalker critical #insidious lineage

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raspberryfingers · 1 year ago

Text

A Lion in the Garden -Tywin Lannister x Reader- (Part 30)

WARNING: NSFW/Mentions of sex

A/N: AHH alright, so I'm kind of losing it. It's genuinely hard to believe that A Lion in the Garden is over, or at least plot wise anyways. Because yes, I am going to go back and edit, along with adding new chapters into the main plotline to help with pacing and all that, but this is the end of Lady Tyrell and Tywin’s story and it is honestly making me emotional. I started this story in late November, and in the last six months I’ve written about 170,000 words about these two, which is around 300 pages the way that I have it formatted in google docs. So, needless to say, this has been quite the journey for me and also for all of you who have been reading as I publish. And a giant thank you to everyone who’s shown support for my story, because even when I was busy or lacking motivation, knowing that there were at least a few people desperate for the next chapter made me keep working, and now I’m here. Anyways, with all that said, please enjoy the last chapter and know that I am so grateful for all my readers <3

—————

To finally be in the tower of the hand was a blessing. I had spent no less than three hours in the great hall, and if I’d been stuck there any longer I might’ve gone mad. Thankfully, Tywin knew me well enough to know that my patience was wearing thin, and had distracted a few lords so I could slip away.

It was about 10:00 when I made it back to our chambers, and instantly I collapsed on one of the sofas in Tywin’s bedroom, removing my shoes with a sigh. I massaged my feet and ankles, tired after quite literally standing still for hours on end. If I had been walking the whole time it would’ve been fine, but it was like I had been stuck.

“King Tywin Lannister…” I muttered to myself, getting up from the sofa and going over to the mirror. I could’ve rang for Cerella, but it was late, and the last thing I wanted was to be rude. In all honesty, I wasn’t sure I could tolerate a conversation right now. All I wanted was to let my hair down, remove my gown, and fall asleep.

No, that wasn’t all I wanted. I wanted Tywin beside me too.

But he probably wouldn’t have the chance to join me until much later, and I couldn’t wait for him. Sighing, I grabbed at the pins in my hair, taking them out and running my fingers through it afterwards. It had not relieved my headache as much as I had hoped.

I reached backward then, watching myself in the mirror as I undid my dress. I suddenly wished that Tywin had dressed me in red this morning, for at least I could’ve felt connected to him that way. The entire day—though not purposefully, of course—he had been so distant, and now all I wanted was to feel like he was with me.

My dress fell to the floor, and I undid the rest of my unnecessary undergarments with a sigh of relief. I turned to go towards the dresser and find a nightgown, but I noticed that one had already been laid out on a chair. I was unable to hold back a smile, grabbing my gown and other undergarments from the floor and folding them as neatly as I could. Cerella had known me well enough to understand that I wouldn’t want to speak to anybody at this hour, and so she had set out my nightgown in advance. Gods, I loved her.

I set my clothes down on the chair, taking the nightgown in my hands once I had and slipping into it. I found that I dearly missed the warm nights that Tywin and I had spent nude, lazily sprawled out under the thin silk sheets. The nights had become colder, and soon the days would too. After that, it would only be a matter of time before the ravens came from the citadel. Then the blankets and furs on our bed would pile, and I would press myself closer against him. Perhaps that was not so unfortunate.

I slipped into bed, pulling the blanket up to the bottom of my neck and finding a comfortable position. I settled into the mattress with a sigh, my head sinking into the pillow with a sort of relief. It was odd, however, to be falling asleep without Tywin by my side. The bed felt too light without him, and I wondered if I would be able to sleep without the sound of his breathing beside me.

King Tywin Lannister.

Everytime I found myself drifting off, that came back to me. It was still such a shocking concept, and I wanted it to feel normal more than anything. For some reason, though, I simply couldn’t make it sound correct. Queen (Y/N) Tyrell.

A small shiver went up my back, and I had to turn onto my other side in bed. I kept hoping for the sound of Tywin’s boots outside the door, but they would not come. It was almost funny to me, how much comfort was derived from a man that plenty of people considered an insufferable cunt. Myself included, let it be known.

And yet still, I felt restless without him. I had a million questions to ask, and a million reassurances I wished to receive. Although, I guessed he was worse off than I was, probably surrounded by far too many noblemen… and noblewomen.

Now I was lying on my back, a sort of jealousy sparking in me and making my body go hot. Never before had I ever felt that somebody would try and disrupt my relationship with Tywin, but if he was to be king, surely the title of queen looked appealing to many ladies. Just as I was certain the concept of birthing little princes and princesses did.

Would Tywin want children now? His relationship with Tyrion had improved, yes, but would he go so far as to put him on the throne? I wondered if that was better or worse than Casterly Rock. But that was only for a moment, because the idea of heirs was most important. I knew for certain that the titles of prince and princess had not changed my feelings, but sometimes Tywin was hard to predict. Although, if I hadn’t been so tired and my head not so clouded, I would’ve known instantly that his opinion upon the subject had not changed.

Eventually, this train of thought became so tiring that it no longer made sense, and the words in my head were not coherent any longer, especially as I had turned back onto my side and closed my eyes once more. My breathing had begun to slow as well, and slowly but surely I drifted off.

In my dreams, I was on the battlefield. I somehow knew that Tywin was there, but I did not see him. The other odd thing was that it had been snowing, and it was somewhat reminiscent of Winterfell. It was unlike any battle I'd ever been in.

—————

Tywin was utterly exhausted. He had been in constant discussion ever since you’d left the hall, and it was now approaching 2:00 in the morning. He was making his way up the tower of the hand, already grasping at the top of his coat and undoing the clips. It was unlike him to undress anywhere besides his chambers, but gods he couldn’t help it.

All he wanted was to slip into bed beside your warm body and hold you close, because just as you needed his support, he needed yours. He was not an overly emotional person, but he could admit that to feel you in his arms would relieve the unbearable amount of stress he had accumulated in the last 24 hours. He had single handedly made House Lannister the most powerful and placed them on the throne; it was truly a wonder.

Tywin did not bother looking at the guards outside his door when he entered his office, he only pushed the door open with a slight sigh and carefully shut it behind him. It wouldn’t have been enough to wake you up regardless, but it was so quiet that he did not want to disturb the silence.

He fully shrugged off his coat now, draping it over his arm as he went towards the bedroom door. That one was handled carefully too, opened and closed as softly as was possible. There were a few dim candles lit, but overall the room was quite dark. He could see you, though, lying in bed with your face turned toward the door.

The candles were behind you for the most part, and it gave your figure a pleasant outline. Although, your face was partly buried in the pillow, and an odd feeling of guilt ran through Tywin. Had you been crying?

He took light steps across the room, placing his coat down on the same chair that you had left your gown. He sat down in another, reaching down to pull off his boots with a soft groan. Once he had done that, he untucked his shirt from his pants and then continued to strip. Tywin found his black robe in the dresser and promptly slipped it over his head, periodically looking over to make sure you were still asleep.

Entirely ready to sleep now, he approached your side of the bed. He lifted his hand to your face, the back of his fingers brushing against your cheek. It did not feel as though you had been crying, but it was impossible to tell. He felt the pillowcase too, and was reassured by the dryness there. No, you had not been crying.

Quietly, Tywin made his way around the bed until he reached his side, carefully lifting the blankets and getting in with as little disruption as was possible. You seemed relatively undisturbed by the shifting of the mattress, and he knew he had not woken you. Tywin laid on his back with a quiet sigh, feeling utterly relieved to finally be in bed and alone. It felt like being alone, at least, for your company was never disruptive to him.

He had been drifting to sleep, but was suddenly startled by a jolting beside him. When Tywin opened his eyes, he saw you shake beside him. He moved to reach over and hold you, but you had shot straight up with a gasp, and he could see a sort of fear in your eyes.

“(Y/N)? Are you alright?” He asked, having to clear his throat as he sat up and placed his hands on your arms. You looked over at him—as if processing that he was there—and then nodded. Something had clearly started you. “A bad dream?” he questioned, gently cupping your cheek and bringing your forehead to his lips.

“Yes, y-yes. It was just a bad dream,” you whispered in reply, swallowing. The way you said it gave the odd impression that you were trying to remind yourself of it, not that you were telling Tywin. He gave you a sympathetic look, though you did not notice.

“Come, sweet girl. Let us sleep,” Tywin whispered, slowly coaxing you back down to the mattress. He sighed out airily when you moved closer to him, wrapping your arms around his torso. He could feel your stress and uncertainty being relieved as you held him, and he could not keep himself from holding you with the same ferocity.

Tywin clutched at you, wrapping his arms entirely around you and pressing you to his body as much as was physically possible. He knew he wouldn’t, but there was an odd desire in him to sob. He did not want to be the king, all he wanted was to remain here with you.

“Oh Tywin…” you muttered, inhaling his scent with an overwhelming sense of comfort. Your own scent was simultaneously giving him the same feeling. You had begun to nuzzle into him, too, much as a lion would. In response, his hand had come to your hair, cupping your head as one does for an infant. It had come from some sort of protective instinct, and even knowing that there was nothing to fear, Tywin would not let go.

His queen.

With both of you feeling utterly at peace in each other's arms, it did not take long to fall asleep. You had drifted off first, and the sound of your tired breathing had sent Tywin to sleep right after you. He had been so glad to hold you, and perhaps even a bit happy that you were tired and disoriented, for you had asked no questions. Those would come in the morning, he knew.

Tywin would happily answer them then, but for now, all he wanted was sleep. And with you wrapped up in his arms, that was no strenuous task at all.

—————

Tywin had woken up before me, though he had not left our bed. When I opened my eyes, I understood that I was cuddled against his chest. However, when I looked up at his face, he was already smiling down at me.

“Goodmorning, my dear,” he said, his voice a bit deeper and harsher than usual. He must’ve not been up for long. I smiled, adjusting myself and sitting up slightly before reaching over to kiss him. Tywin gave a soft hum against my lips, hand coming to my hair as he kissed me back. The mornings that he got to stay in bed with me were always the best ones.

“Goodmorning, Tywin. What time did you come to bed last night?” I questioned, laying back down and resting my head on his shoulder. I felt his hand lifting my nightgown, and then suddenly his warm palm against my hip. He loved to feel the skin there, for some odd reason. Though, I would never complain, for I loved it too.

“Far too late. I only managed to escape the great hall at 2:00. Your nightmare woke up just after I came to bed,” he said, resting his chin on my head. I furrowed my eyebrows, as I did not remember waking from my dreams. I had experienced a nightmare, yes, but waking up because of it? I certainly could not recall that. Well, it was of no importance.

“I see. If you’d really wanted to, you would’ve left much earlier,” I said, knowing him better than that. Tywin Lannister would never do something he didn’t want to. At least not something like that.

“It would have been inappropriate.”

“Oh yes, I’m certain.”

I laughed, shaking my head at how ridiculous my husband managed to be. I suspected not a man like him had ever lived, nor ever would again. It was almost comical, for Tywin Lannister was rarer than a dragon.

“We have much to discuss,” Tywin said after a moment, instantly making my smile fade. I could hear in his voice that he similarly did not want to, but felt it necessary. He was right, of course.

“Yes, we certainly do.”

“What’s most important to me, (Y/N), is that you’re alright. You shook during the ceremony yesterday. It’s all been somewhat overwhelming and sudden, hasn’t it?” He asked softly, one of his hands reaching for mine and holding it. I nodded, sighing out and glancing around the room.

“I suppose I- well, I hadn’t even considered that you had a claim. For some reason, the only two I had suspected were Jaime and Tyrion, and when I heard men in the hall discussing that it ought to be you, it did shock me. But it’s not you being king which frightens me, it’s the idea of me being queen. I’m nothing like my sister in that regard,” I admitted, suddenly finding one of the tapestries on the wall to be the most interesting thing I’d ever seen. Tywin had it put up after our wedding, and I hadn’t really taken any appropriate amount of time to consider it. There was something so beautiful and erotic about the nude figures, and it was a perfect distraction from my embarrassment.

Tywin suddenly moved beside me, and I realized he wanted to get up from bed. I moved off him, sitting up and watching him quizzically as he went over to a drawer and rummaged around. When he seemingly did not find what he was looking for there, he left the room. I simply waited, absolutely puzzled as to what he was doing. I assumed that like always, he was trying to prove a point.

He came back in with a rather large, rolled up parchment in his hands. He set it down on the table, undoing it and then using books that were already on the table to keep it open. Tywin then turned around and motioned for me to come over. I did so, scooting off the edge of the bed and adjusting my nightgown as I walked over to him.

He had laid out a map on the table, and after a minute it clicked in my head. It was a map of King’s Landing. I raised both eyebrows at him as a signal to explain, knowing he was going to come to a point eventually.

“As you are aware, the smallfolk of King’s Landing are not entirely fond of me. If I’m to be their king, my reforms must actually have a directly positive impact on their lives. Tell me, how do I improve a city ripe with crime, disease, overcrowding, and homelessness?” Tywin questioned, gesturing to the map he had laid out. I let out a breath that was almost a laugh, feeling that the question was impossible. Staring at the map was not helping me any.

“You cannot improve all of those things single handedly, Tywin. Therefore, I cannot possibly have any ideas that would do such a thing,” I said, knowing that we needed to be realistic in this instance. He still hadn’t come to his point yet, and it was irking me.

“It’s not single handedly, I have you. But even if I didn’t, that’s not what I mean. Give me a solution to just one of those problems, please,” he said, gazing down at me with a sort of twinkle in his eye. Where was he going with this? I looked at him hesitantly for a moment, but when all I received was an expectant look I knew he was serious.

With a sigh, I turned my eyes to the map once more. Gods, the layout of Kings Landing was absolutely horrendous. It was no wonder that overcrowding was a problem just based on the way that everything was structured. And of course, overcrowding led to disease, so I supposed a solution to the overcrowding would perhaps help that as well. The idea came to me then.

“Tywin, where was Tommen’s carriage destroyed?” I asked, turning to my husband for a moment. His expression was blank, but he pointed down to a certain street on the map.

“Right around here.”

“Well surely that much wildfire must’ve destroyed some of the street and the buildings around it, right?” I questioned, feeling that it must’ve been a completely logical assumption.

“Correct. I was told that these complexes here are practically ruins now, and several of the common folk in them were either seriously injured or killed,” Tywin informed, making my heart sink a bit. To think a religious order had caused such suffering.

“I see. We ought to make sure their families are provided for at the very least, and given reassurances that the sparrows will be held responsible,” I muttered, hearing Tywin give a hum of approval beside me.

“I’ll have Varys see to that.”

“Perhaps I ought to go with him. It will appear more genuine that way. Plus, then I can inspect the site myself. The problem with Kings Landing is that it wasn't built with any particular layout, but if we can slowly rebuild with a more thought out design, then it would be able to more adequately house the smallfolk, and if there’s less overcrowding, that also means less ability for disease to spread. Sickness is bound to spread in large cities, but if we could limit the amount of families living in one house, that ought to help,” I reasoned, continually looking down at the sheet before me and trying to formulate some kind of design in my head based off of what I knew about Highgarden’s layout. Though, King’s Landing was admittedly a much different space.

“And how do you propose we go about building such a thing? To redesign and rebuild the entire city is quite a hefty task. It would displace many,” Tywin pointed out, though I shook my head in disagreement.

“Not if we do it slowly. We could also use the sept to house people, there aren’t any more nobles in need of a marriage that grand so far as I’m concerned. And as we carry it out, we could also hire the smallfolk to help build. It would improve our economy significantly and reduce the amount of unemployed and homeless, especially because the new layout would ideally use the space available most efficiently. I’m no architect or city planner, but I’m certain we could find somebody from the citadel who would be more than helpful with that matter. We ought to focus on agriculture as well, especially with the upcoming winter. It will remain relatively warm enough to plant certain crops, and it would certainly relieve a burden off of Highgarden. Plus, the more jobs available the better,” I rambled, thinking of the endless benefits that redesigning and rebuilding King’s Landing would have. If we could execute it correctly, which I was certain we could, it would be infinitely useful.

When Tywin said nothing, I looked over my shoulder at him. I had leaned over the table subconsciously, both hands spread on the map like I was planning for battle. My husband was smiling rather fondly, and I raised a curious eyebrow. What on earth was making him grin like such a fool?

“A few years ago, (Y/N), when I saw you for the first time since you were 14, I had not a clue what to expect. For a moment, I thought you had remained as immature as you were as a young girl, but you quickly proved me wrong. You had leaned over my table then, just as you are now, and told me that we would be stupid to go through that ravine, because if Stannis sent men in another direction and they realized we were coming, we would’ve been easy to repel. You were admittedly correct, and I understood that you were no longer an inexperienced child. Now you stand here, telling me exactly how we ought to earn the respect of the smallfolk and more than that, how it will be beneficial for all involved. You underestimate yourself, (Y/N), and of all my concerns, you being a good queen is not one of them. You have always been a leader, that won’t change just because the title sounds more intimidating,” Tywin explained, stepping toward me and cupping my face in his hands. My lips parted as I stared up at him, my heart somehow pounding in my chest at the sentiment he was expressing. There was something so indescribable about the way that Tywin managed to reassure me, and I often wondered how it was possible.

I reached for the fabric of his robe, pulling him closer to me and lifting my head up to show him I wished for a kiss. He chuckled softly, moving his hands from my face and grabbing my hips instead. Tywin bent down, pressing his lips to mine with a noise of satisfaction.

“You’re far too good at that,” I whispered when he pulled away, making his eyebrow raise.

“What, kissing you?”

“No. Well, yes, that too. But I meant that you’re far too good at reassuring me. I’m always in my head and you always know how to pull me out,” I said with a smile, unable to look away from my husband for even a moment. Even after all this time I was still so smitten with him.

“It’s because you often do the same for me, even if you don’t realize it,” he remarked with a kiss to my forehead.

“And speaking of, well, reassurances… the subject of succession, your succession, I mean… do you- are you still firm on the subject of children?” I asked, knowing that was one of the other things I needed to discuss with him.

“Yes, I am. Why? Has the prospect of them being a prince or princess changed your opinion on it?” He questioned in reply, a certain hesitation in his voice as he asked it, almost as if hoping that mentioning he hadn’t changed his mind wasn’t the wrong thing to say.

“No! Gods, no. I just- I wasn’t sure if… well I don’t know. Your relationship with Tyrion has certainly improved, but I didn’t have a clue if it had improved enough to make you give him the throne. You were already unsure about giving him Casterly Rock,” I pointed out, watching him nod as he listened to what I was saying. He was contemplative.

“Casterly Rock must have prestige associated with it. Jaime is no ruler, but he would not make the Lannister name an embarrassment. To have Tyrion there, whoring and drinking constantly, would be a problem. The throne has no obligations, it is expected for kings to drink and whore. Tyrion will get the throne once I am gone, and I feel quite certain he will rule far better than most,” Tywin explained, one of his hands holding mine and the other on the table, gently tapping against the wood. He quite frequently fidgeted with his fingers, I realized. I wondered if somehow it helped him process his thoughts.

“I see. That’s easily settled then,” I remarked, somewhat glad it had been resolved so easily. I had expected a much longer conversation, but I was quite satisfied. Tyrion would be a good king.

“Yes, it is.”

I thought for a moment more, and then an insecurity from the previous night came back to me. I found myself looking down, not wanting to see Tywin’s reaction as I said what was on my mind.

“You’re correct, Tywin. Kings certainly are expected to whore, drink, and hunt,” I mumbled, feeling insanely uncomfortable with the jealousy I was experiencing. Surely every woman in the seven kingdoms would be throwing herself at him now.

“(Y/N), a crown is not suddenly going to transform me. Just like any other man, I have been with whores, and I have enjoyed them, but you are my wife. I had no need to marry you, House Tyrell was already firmly tied to House Lannister. I married you because I love you, and that means I have no intentions of being unfaithful. I would hang any woman who tried to flirt with me, because I will not see our marriage insulted that way. Rest assured that you are the only woman I want, and that is not going to change just because they decided to put me on the throne,” Tywin assured me, hand coming under my chin and forcing me to look at him. He was entirely genuine, I could see it in his eyes. In all honesty, I knew everything he said was true before he had even bothered to open his mouth, but somehow hearing it outloud brought such relief.

“I merely hate the thought of women looking at you with desire.”

“And now you understand how I feel. Perhaps you’ll stop teasing so much when I get possessive.”

I laughed then, shaking my head and embracing Tywin. There was always something so lovely about knowing I was the only person with whom he acted this way. His hands were on my hips again, and when he gave them a slight squeeze I knew exactly what he was about to say.

“And believe me, none of those whores are anything like you. It left me rather unsatisfied,” he whispered, which had initially been what I expected. Then I was given quite the surprise.

“Unsatisfied?” I questioned, wondering if he was insinuating what I thought he was. He observed me for a second, as though he were debating whether or not he ought to admit something.

“About two years ago, when you left to go make negotiations with Robb Stark, I sent a description to the brothel. At that point, I was unaware that you returned my feelings. We hadn’t even kissed yet, but you were driving me mad. It was impulsive of me to do, and I felt incredibly guilty afterwards… but I- well, I couldn’t even finish with her. From behind, she certainly looked similar. Your same height, hair color, skin tone… but she wasn’t anything like you. She did not hold herself with any confidence, the sound of her voice was wrong. She did not moan how you would’ve, and when I leaned down her scent was nothing like yours. That’s when I had to stop. I paid her and asked her to leave. She wasn’t you…” he said, revealing what was probably the most shocking thing I had ever heard him say. I was trying to process my feelings, but in all honesty I had no idea what to feel. How are you supposed to feel about learning that a man fucked a whore with you in mind? More than anything, I was just surprised. I hadn’t even considered that Tywin desired me at that point in time.

“Tywin…” I whispered, not sure what else to say. It was the only thing that would escape my throat. Should I be offended that he had done it? Should I be flattered? There certainly was something erotic about the idea that I had driven him so mad with lust he had gone so far as to find a whore that looked like me. But at the same time, I hated the idea of him fucking another woman. He was mine. Although, as he had said, that was exactly why he’d stopped. She wasn’t me.

“You had been in my room in the last day or two. We had discussed something, I don’t remember what, but you had sat on my bed. You’d been fidgeting with the lace on one of the pillows, I remember that much. You left your scent on it, and that night… when I realized…” he trailed off, and it seemed that just the memory of it had sparked lust in him. I swallowed, instantly understanding. Yes, I was decided. That was utterly erotic.

Suddenly I was picturing Tywin naked, laying in bed that night with a sort of disappointment that the whore had not fulfilled his desire for me. I imagined him turning over and suddenly inhaling a familiar scent. He would flare his nostrils a few times, discovering that something smelled just like me. He would check the pillows around him, and then he would find the one that I had left my perfume on. Tywin would proceed to inhale deeply, and the lust would spark in him again. He’d reach down, touching himself as the scent consumed him entirely and he shut his eyes.

I came back to the present after picturing that, and I felt the heat in my cheeks. To think of Tywin in such a context was entirely new, but I found that I liked it.

“Until that night, I hadn’t been with a whore since weeks before the Battle of Blackwater. Once I had spoken to you again, (Y/N), you became my only desire. You called me an insufferable cunt, fine, I would prove you otherwise. Nobody had ever dared to say such a thing, and what had piqued my interest was that I knew you did not mean it just to be insulting, it was genuinely what you thought of me. When I wasn’t working, I was thinking of you. And when those thoughts became different in their nature, I did what I thought would satisfy the urge. No. No, it most certainly did not. I couldn’t have anything less than you, I discovered. Nothing ever has and nothing ever will compare to you, (Y/N).”

I felt my heart pounding with his words, so overwhelming was the love inside of me. Suddenly I could not keep myself off of my husband. I instantly kissed him, grabbing at his hair and moaning into his mouth. He did the same in response, and every touch was so raw and genuine. He lifted me from the ground then, letting me wrap my legs around his waist as he took me over to the bed.

He sat me on the edge of the mattress, standing between my legs as his lips grasped at mine. Gods, it wasn’t even 9:00 yet and we were already like this. His hands had come to my thighs, and he had to pull away for a moment, absolutely breathless.

“(Y/N)… (Y/N)…” he muttered, pressing his forehead to mine. I cupped his cheeks, swallowing and catching my own breath.

“I love you, Tywin… I love you so much,” I whispered, smiling slightly and looking into his eyes. He also smiled softly, removing his hands from my thighs and embracing me instead. It seemed that we were both equally emotional and lust-filled.

“I love you far more than I ought to, (Y/N). My queen… my Nightshade of the Garden… my wife,” he said softly, tucking some of my hair behind my ear. He kissed me again, softer this time. I responded the exact same way.

It was an interesting thought, that I truly had no idea what would come next for us. I found that I did not care, for it did not matter. Tywin and I would continue on, just as we always did.

—————

“You look very handsome, your grace. The sash fits well.”

“It’s not your grace just yet, Cerella. And he does look handsome, even if perhaps a bit gloomy.”

I was fixing up Tywin’s outfit for the coronation, and he had decided on his black coat with the lions on the shoulders. On top of that, I had fixed a golden sash around his torso, as I was trying to prevent him from looking too plain.

“I do not appreciate your jokes,” Tywin mumbled, which only made me smile even more as I adjusted his belt. He was simply so easy to tease.

“Have you ever considered taking the black, husband? I feel confident they would allow you to keep your wardrobe,” I jested further, finally stepping away from him and feeling satisfied with his appearance. Cerella had brought in my own dress and was presently waiting for me to strip out of my nightgown.

“Ha! If I did, it would leave you begging,” he replied snarkily, only continuing to grin when I smacked his arm.

“Do you hear him, Cerella? My husband is surely the most insufferable cunt in all seven kingdoms,” I scoffed, undoing some of the lace on my nightgown and pulling it over my head. My undergarments had followed, of course, and Tywin had pretended not to notice my nudity as he ran a hand over his hair in the mirror.

“Here, my lady,” Cerella replied, handing me a fresh set to put on. She had not addressed my claim, but was smiling in a way that told me she appreciated the joke. I supposed that after serving the two of us for so long, she’d been forced to become accustomed to our constant teasing and yapping.

I pulled on the clean undergarments, and I held still as she assisted me with the lacing of my stay. After that came my gown, of course, which was a deep scarlet red. The top had minimal gold and white detail, for on top of my dress I was wearing a beautiful porcelain corset. It had absolute gorgeous ornamentation, with perfected gold detailing along the edges and roses painted on it. It had been a gift for my 24th name day, and I hadn’t found an occasion for it until now.

“You look absolutely stunning, my lady,” Cerella said as she helped me put it on. I smiled at her for a moment, and then I smiled at my reflection in the mirror. It certainly was quite the sight. Cerella had done my hair beforehand too, wanting to make sure that everything would stay in place.

“Yes, she does. You’re breathtaking, wife,” Tywin noted, coming up behind me and placing his hands on my hips, just below the corset. I hadn’t even realized he was watching, in all honesty.

“Well, my husband is being made into the king of all seven kingdoms today. If that isn’t a good occasion to be wearing this, I don’t know what is,” I remarked, watching Cerella step back and take my dirty nightclothes out. Tywin and I were left alone after a moment.

“I have something to give you, (Y/N). I’m not certain what jewelry you were planning to wear, but I think you ought to consider this.”

I watched him retrieve a flat, square box from his dresser with a small smirk on his face. I was suspicious of him, just as I always was. Tywin brought it over to me, and I turned to face him with a raised eyebrow. Carefully, he opened the case and revealed an absolutely stunning necklace. It made me gape, and I quite honestly had no clue what to say in reply.

“What do you think?” he questioned, lifting his gaze from the jewelry up to me. I managed to avert my eyes too, though with quite some difficulty.

“It’s gorgeous, Tywin. Would you- would you help me put it on?” I asked softly, watching the satisfaction settle in his eyes. He said nothing, but nodded and motioned for me to turn around. I did so, watching him move around in the mirror and remove the necklace from its case. I adjusted my hair as he came up behind me, and I could feel his breath against my ear as he hung the thing from my neck. I felt the gentle clasp of it, and he carefully removed his hands. For such a gorgeous, detailed necklace, it was not nearly as heavy as I had suspected. I put my hair back in place with a sort of entrancement.

“It looks beautiful on you,” Tywin said after a moment, still standing right behind me and admiring my reflection. Carefully, he wrapped his arms around my waist and let his head lean against mine.

“I think this would look beautiful on anyone, Tywin. Maybe even on you,” I jested, though there was no humor in my voice. Something about seeing myself this way was shocking, and I could not tear my eyes away. I looked like a queen.

“No, I doubt that. I had it specifically made for you, the measurements are specific. You are the only woman who’s ever been meant to wear it,” he said, his voice low and clear. I placed my hands on top of his, swallowing and then letting my lips part with a sort of overwhelmed feeling.

“I wonder, Tywin, if you will ever stop spoiling me like a child,” I remarked, finally looking at him. As well as I could, anyways, for our faces were rather close.

“I have never spoiled you like a child. I have spoiled you like a wife—as you deserve,” he replied, placing a chaste kiss against my neck. I leaned into him, a sort of warmth filling me. To think this man had been my worst enemy a few years ago was incredibly odd, for now he was the most important person in my life. To think that a cut, a sword, and a set of armor might’ve changed my life forever.

There was a knock at our door which I recognized as Cerella’s, and I knew it must be time for us to leave. I moved myself from Tywin’s grasp, though I took his arm once I had. From there, we made our way out of the tower of the hand and down to the throne room. The walk was quiet, but the entire time Tywin kept me close. Occasionally, he would look over at me and hold my gaze for a few moments before looking away. I wondered if perhaps he was trying to make sure I was still there, as stupid as that sounded.

When we reached the double doors, I felt him take a deep breath and noticed his gaze set firmly on the wood in front of us. I pressed my lips together, blinking a few times as I debated whether or not I should ask him how he was doing. I decided it would do little harm.

“Are you alright, Tywin?”

“Of course.”

It was kurt, and perhaps a bit sharper than he had intended. He was stressed, I understood. He was not easily made this way, either, and I felt awful. The man standing beside me was not only Tywin, he was the king. In this moment, the second identity had to be worn.

“I did not mean to use such a tone,” he said after a minute or so, finally looking at me. There was the husband again.

“It’s alright, Tywin. You don’t need to apologize. Not today,” I whispered, giving him a sympathetic look. A sort of relief settled in his face, as though he was at least glad I was not upset by what he had said. I had learned Tywin well enough to know it was not truly him.

Slowly, the double doors were pulled open and the two of us were shown to the entire court. My heart skipped a beat, as if I was suddenly processing that we both were on public display. With a swallow, I stepped forward in sync with Tywin, looking straight ahead in spite of my nerves and desire to observe every face. Margaery would inform me of looks afterwards, I was certain.

There was a silence in the room as Tywin and I walked through the isle, heading straight up to the throne. It was almost like a moment of peace, a moment of time that nobody else existed in. I found that I could not resist the urge to look at Tywin, and even despite his appearance as king today, he looked back at me. Oh, and those eyes. Those blue, blue eyes with their green flecks. I loved this man so much.

We reached the platform then, and together we ascended up the steps. I made eye contact with Kevan, who Tywin had chosen as Hand of the King, for he never wanted politics to cause strife in our marriage. Although, both of us were aware that I would continue to be his most trusted source of guidance and advice. And, it was a good thing Kevan was hand too, for I did not want to relinquish our chambers in the tower and he had no problem whatsoever taking the kings instead. The bed was bigger in there, but Tywin and I had no problem sleeping close together.

It was Kevan who I had expected to stand beside at the ceremony, too, but Tywin did not drop his arm. With an open mouth, I found myself standing in front of the throne with him, and there was a smug look on his face.

“Let them see that the queen has every bit of power that the king does. Your title is owed a crown,” he whispered before we turned around to look upon the crowd. I was still somewhat shocked, but I did not let it show as we faced everyone.

Tywin’s arm detached from mine then, but he then opted to grab my hand instead. He was certainly full of surprises today, and I could not keep myself from giving a subtle smile when his hand squeezed mine.

The high septon was behind us, and once Tywin and I had settled in, he began with the ceremonials. I—in all honesty—was not listening to what he was saying whatsoever. Tywin had been running his thumb up and down the side of my hand for the last several minutes, and that was all I could focus on. That and the two crowns I had noticed in the corner of my eye. One was much larger, and had the face of a lion upon it. The other was about the size of my head, and was covered in thorns and roses.

The high septon had been going on about the seven blessing and guiding Tywin for at least 10 minutes now, and I hadn’t really processed what was being said until I was mentioned. It was not something that had ever been said in a coronation before, at least as far as I was concerned, and Tywin had given me the most fulfilled of looks when he’d heard it.

“And may his lady wife support him in all his endeavors and be a pillar of strength in the crown. May she show love, compassion, and kindness to all in the kingdoms, and lead just as bravely as the man beside her. The Queen (Y/N) Tyrell, long may she reign,” he said, placing the golden crown of roses atop my head. Its weight was pleasant, and the echo of ‘long may she reign’ from everyone in the hall sent a slight shiver up my spine. Tywin squeezed my hand once more.

After that, the High Septon moved on to Tywin, and I was unable to remove my eyes from my husband. He looked every bit the king, standing tall with his perfect posture and elegant coat. The High Septon held the crown above his head, and with a shout of ‘long may he reign,’ it was placed upon his head.

“Long may he reign,” I repeated with the rest of the crowd, smiling at the sight of the golden lion upon Tywin’s white hair. It matched the blonde strands that remained on the edges of his head and his cheeks.

Loud applause filled the room for King Tywin, first of his name, and I experienced the sort of feeling that one gets before battle. The feeling of rallying your men, of hearing them cheer as they prepare to die for you. Would these men fight for my husband? Would they die for him? I would.

Tywin looked over at me then, and when our eyes met I knew everything would be alright, somehow. There were trials to come, I knew, but it was impossible to feel frightened when the man beside me was looking at me the way he was. Tywin and I had faced everything together for the last few years, and I had no doubt in my mind that we would continue to do so now.

“My Queen,” Tywin muttered, lifting our hands and kissing the back of mine. It was as if he had forgotten everyone in the hall was there, even as their applause continued to ring in our ears. I smiled even more now, looking up at my husband with utter adoration. Every choice I’d made in my life had been the right one, for I could not imagine living without this man. The Great Lion of the Rock and the Nightshade of the Garden.

Tywin Lannister, I could say confidently, was the most important thing in my life. The man I trusted, guided, received guidance from. But most importantly he was the man I loved. They said that Westeros had not seen a match such as ours in centuries, if ever. And standing beside Tywin in front of the throne, his hand in mine and our eyes stuck on each other, I had the odd sensation that they never would again. For how could they?

I could not imagine another tale such as ours, with the hatred of him in my youth turning to eventual friendship in my adulthood, and then that friendship eventually turning to love. Tywin and I had fought wars together, settled conflict together, and kept all seven kingdoms intact together. What other couple could boast that? None. None could. There were no couples like us. There were no people like us. There was only us.

My thoughts were interrupted by the feeling of Tywin’s hand at my waist, and I realized that he was pulling me towards him. Before all present in the hall, he kissed me. Tywin was passionate, and yet simultaneously loving. I could not resist the urge to smile as I kissed back, the sensation of his familiar lips causing a wave of utter contentment to wash over me. A sense of peace. When Tywin pulled away, he smiled at me. It wasn’t even a small smile, it was genuine and raw. And I could see in his eyes, it was not the crown atop his head that had made him smile. It had been me, standing right beside him as the High Septon had placed it atop his head. I kissed him once more, with not a single care as I did so.

For they would never see our like again.

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