#because I didn’t want to do math
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I think episode 5 has really cemented how much I love Rosie Jones on Taskmaster. You could SEE her trying to make sure Emma won the live task so she could win an episode and it was so sweet and endearing ❤️
#not anime#radiowaves#taskmaster#taskmaster series 18#taskmaster s18#taskmaster 18#tm#taskmaster spoilers#*so much to love but I especially thought Rosie shone in this episode*#*I also loved Jack giving up in the tiebreak because he didn’t want to do maths. VALID!!*#*anyway: Rosie and Emma- Queens Supporting Queens like Emma going to bat for her in the rocket pocket task*
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Hi ppl who are nosy and want to know ur grades so they can judge how smart u are are annoying as fuck
#this is ab a guy from my math class who just texted me#I’ve never even spoken to him before he just asked what I’m averaging in that class#I didn’t tell him cuz I’m honestly not doing as well as I want to be and it’s a super competitive class#and so he starts asking ab all my extracurriculars#and the programs I’m applying to#and I’ve been so stressed over this because I don’t even know myself#so I don’t want some random fucking stranger interrogating me#and he goes ‘most people in the class are failing’ cuz only one person is averaging 100#‘the smartest guy in the class is only averaging 98’ well clearly he’s not the smartest but also 98 is amazing and I wish I had that#I’m going to punch him when I see him tmr get the hell out of my dms bro#vent post#mathblr#mathematics#math#grades#school#high school#irritating
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love when this is referred to as the gifted kid website. shockingly my mental disorders made me mentally disordered and school never really vibed with that so. couldn’t be me
#ppl always talking about their whatever grade reading level and how many books they’d read as kids and im just over here like🧍🏽#I’ve never been actually bad at english or reading but I couldn’t focus on reading books to save my fucking life#I hated those sheets where you had to read like a certain number of books or whatever over the course of a semester or the year or whatever#my GATE test scores for english were super high but my math was bad enough that I never qualified#and adhd made me not even perform well in English half the time because I couldn’t pay attention I couldn’t read long books I couldn’t turn#in my assignments or if I did they were late and etc etc etc#don’t get me started with math#I was the worst in my class in third grade at minute math and never made it to the levels of minute math my classmates did#(they posted results on the wall for everyone to see)#and in 6th grade I was put into an additional remedial math class#throughout middle-high school I was at the level of most classmates in terms of the classes I took but that’s only because I was not allowe#to fail and was put through absolute fucking hell with a billion tutors and grueling hours of extra work from them and blah blah blah#like I remember how I felt in those tutoring sessions and half the time I actually wanted to cry.#I didn’t start doing solidly genuinely Good in school until senior year of high school.#not coincidentally around the same time I started taking adderall I think#I had accommodations by 9th grade but they didn’t do that much except for the function that let me turn in assignments up to 2 days late#without penalty. which i had teachers question sometimes and i had to pull the Yeah it’s Literally Against The Law to not allow me this car#anyway. point is. i was never in the gate program and most of my friends were and it was mostly adhd related#adhd is considered such a quirky nothing disorder nowadays that I don’t even like mentioning I have it really. because what people think of#when I say the term is Not what i actually dealt with and made school torturous and made my parents lash out at me for things and etc etc#depression and dysphoria did not help either. but I digress#I’m not sure why im making this post#kibumblabs
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You know what pisses me off? Being an art and literature girly with a science and math friend who thinks she’s superior because of it
#stfu I don’t care that you think I shouldn’t be worried about my test because ‘it’s just making videos anyone can do that’#go take twenty page notes on lighting and angles and contrast#idc that you haven’t read a book since 4th grade#holy fuck I cannot stand when people act superior for being into science and math and belittling the art and literature people#school#idk#random post#and when I tried to complain about this to my other friend he just said that it’s good because I have less pressure on my shoulders#that was a miscommunication issue but it kind of bothers me that he didn’t get it#I don’t even know what to tag this as#my entire life I’ve known that I want to have a creative career in the future#now this has got me thinking that it’s not good enough#this friend thinks that my creative classes are for easy A’s
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To clarify, this isn’t how much YOU spend, but how much before you think someone else has spent a bit too much for something to wear potentially once
#My Post#sorry for writing this in the most confusing format <3 I just chose the big 3 tumblr currencies because I didn’t want to make#most people either answer Wrong or do math
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alas… woe is me… (falls onto sofa dramatically) two pieces of homework, whatever shall i do
#the pain of the academe#ok but like i have to lock in guys#i have to force myself to give a single shit about math#and i so desperately want my biology teacher to think im cool so i think that’s kind of hindering my progress on the second one#because im NOT#i made a joke about tetrodotoxin today after she touched a dead pufferfish and either she didn’t get it or im not funny… im crying#the only person who knows more about marine biology than me (IRL THAT IS!!) and she thinks im a try hard. oh the humanity#m rambles#see look at me#im on tumblr. the homework remains untouched#can i do it guys#should i implement the pomodoro method#should i buy a velvet dressing gown
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So I’m still in my old IGCSE English classroom despite the fact that another teacher’s taken over
The class with students who were just. Kind of a nightmare, I was struggling to get them to work, but we had started to improve towards the end of the year and the beginning of this school year
I felt a bit good about that, like okay they clearly didn’t want to be there and didn’t want to do the work but I finally got through to them a little to get them to do a bit of homework, and to pay attention in class more
Anyway, the first week of the new teacher doing it by herself, it seems she has managed to get them both to submit full essays on time in the classroom
…. And I am left wondering if I’m just. Really incompetent as a teacher.
#star speaks#I’m teaching these same girls for science and maths#and they’re generally better at submitting work but I’m noticing they aren’t very thorough over their homework still#was I bad because I didn’t know what to do or did I just not try hard enough#I swear I was trying as much as I could#*sighs*#I still have a lot to learn#and I know I can feel it each year I get better and better#but I also feel saddened like… maybe I was just doing my job badly#where was I falling short….#I want to know that#or maybe it’s just that they had no interest in listening to me. I’ve noticed that too#a difference between how students treat me vs other teachers.#just slightly but… enough. Not quite as respectful not taking me so seriously#*siiighs*#when you live your life looking like the human personification of mochi
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can’t believe they didn’t have Yoshiki connect his experience with being possessed to that one guy who broke into the school grounds and killed himself.
#I also doubt he’s going to connect it for the old man he also just watched die#Idk I just feel like we missed a window of opportunity#Because it’d seem insincere for him to only make the connection now right? Like it feels like a lot of time has passed even#if it’s only been 2 days. It’s going to be coming a whole volume later. The audiences sense of time is skewed#And like the diner scene is so tonally jarring? The slapstick faces and casual air to everything#And I guess it’s supposed to be scary but it literally made me laugh so hard seeing the ghost under the table#And the ghost going ‘YOOOOOO’ also sent me#“I won’t treat death lightly anymore”#“Huh? Someone died? When did that happen? Anyway I have to study for my math test”#I’m not saying I want Yoshiki to be crippled emotionally every time something bad happens#But just like acknowledging the tragedy of an innocent person being forced to do something like that and offering empathy?#Because Yoshiki could’ve suffered the exact same fate. He only didn’t because he aligned himself with ‘Hikaru’#the summer hikaru died#hikaru ga shinda natsu#hgsn#hgsn spoilers#idk you’re free to disagree with this. Emotional scenes are just what I like and ‘spooky scary ghosts’ aren’t#So obviously I’d prefer an emotional scene over yet another ghost trying to tickle Yoshiki#My hgsn shit
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Just saw a lady on my fyp talking about “red flags she saw at a daycare center” and all of the comments are early education teachers roasting her 💀
#‘I want the daycare I go to have a requirement of taking the kids to the park’ k ma’am majority of these daycares are in cities-#like we have fenced in playgrounds/outdoor spaces for a reason#even one comment was like ‘I would not want my daycare bringing kids to a park’#and then she got upset that they didn’t like encourage math or learning to read#and like while we do let the kiddos look at books and of course they ask questions about words or what’s going on in the book#and we always read to them. it’s not developmentally appropriate for us to teach them to read. like even our preK teachers do SOME but-#nothing like the school system because it’s not appropriate#like her BABY isn’t even a toddler wtf are you on about#and I actually do math with my students (who are toddlers/early preschoolers)#no were not doing equations or learning how to add numbers together#however we are constantly counting. we are constantly sorting. we are constantly making patterns.#like I’m sorry you want your infant to do equations that’s not what we do in a daycare#find a nanny
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Just cried over Math for the first time in like 6 years so that’s where I’m at
#ryders rambles#personal#sorry again for posting about personal stuff so much lately It’s basically consumed my life and I’m not good#please don’t make fun of my math skills haha#I’m venting here sorry#I mean it when I say I’ve been struggling academically lately haha#im not getting my accommodations despite my effort and im tired.#im Like.#this close to fucking dropping out or somthing I just can’t do this#I don’t want or Need help from anyone online rn I just need a bit of break#technically I cried over how poorly the website I’m doing homework on is codded and then just broke down from there but whatever#like it only takes answers if it’s written in a very specific format but the teacher didn’t fucking bother to tell us what that is#so I’m sitting here trying to figure out how to type in the polynomial remainder nothings working and It’s so frustrating because this#is the right answer and I’ve checked it several times but I haven’t been given the tools to apply it properly and I know no one cares#enoguh to actually see if I know the answer so I just get it wrong#pretty apt medphor for how the shcool system treats neurodivergent people but I digress#okay to rb but leave the tags out of it lol#ry diaries
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i spent 7 hours studying for one subject today no problem and even had fun doing it + im trying to imagine what middle/high school would’ve been like if i’d been properly medicated
#imagine the academic weapon i could’ve been if anyone had noticed i needed help…#rly no point in dwelling on it but i’m just angry that my mother never noticed#i’d been struggling with turning things in on time due to executive dysfunction pretty much forever#like i can remember it happening in third grade#and none of my teachers or anyone ever thought there might be a problem bc i guess i was compensating too well#that’s what i get for being a highly intelligent girl with adhd instead of a boy that acts out in class ig🙄#i just wish i’d had someone advocating for me#like my mom advocated for me to be put into higher level classes#but when i nearly failed 3 virtual math classes in a row in middle school bc i wasn’t doing any assignments but still acing tests#she just told me i had to do all the assignments and gave me an incentive to do it#instead of ever asking me WHY i wasn’t doing assignments#it wasn’t because i didn’t want to it was because i was literally incapable#and there’s a million other examples exactly like that scattered all throughout the parts of my childhood i still remember#wish it didn’t take me so long to realize i have to advocate for myself#using tumblr as a journal where there are people stuck in here forced to listen to me talk about my mom
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(…)
#WUAG. ok. Complaining ahead ignore it’s whatever#We got a dog last week bc my mom really wanted one#the dog is fine she’s a good girl#But I really don’t want to be responsible for it#and my mom said “Ella don’t worry you don’t have to be responsible for the dog”#Even though a. She works 9 hours a day and won’t be home 5/7 days a week#b. My dad also works full time#c. My sibling will be the one home full time & I don’t want to make them do dog stuff all by themselves on the days I am home#d. SINCE WE’RE ALL TRAINING THE DOG ITS MY FUCKING RESPONSIBILITY#It’s just another thing I have to worry about on top of math classes AND work AND cleaning the house AND planning for my 18th bday#and it’s a lot#and I wish we didn’t have a dog because it makes life so much harder and I don’t really think it’s worth it for me#but I can’t say no at this point because like augh my mom would be so upset#we took a training consultation today#and obviously it’s a lot of work training a dog#and I don’t want to be the one worrying about it#I just wish I could tell myself the dog isn’t my problem BUT SHE IS because my mom isn’t fucking home to do the work herself#I’m just tired and I know I’ll feel better tomorrow but I feel insane about this like is no one else worried about this ????
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I don’t really talk about often the toll dyslexia or discalcula takes on my life besides passing jokes or slight excuses but sometimes… sometimes the toll…
#it’s hard because most of my life I didn’t know it#and I know if I told me family they would very much be like you’re just making it up#which also - I mean no obviously I’m not I struggled to tie my shoes till I was in 5th grade which is like peak discalcula#idk I just always feel one step behind#and so insecure about anything I write or do#even if I look over it a thousand times#truly thank god for Grammarly because it mainly catches my errors#it’s like I had to work twice as hard to spell or do math and still still#like it’s such pride mixed with shame - like look I finished this math work sheet! but also why did it take you so long#this is just a little rant but#I just want you dyslexic legends out there to know you aren’t alone I guess#and I don’t think others can fully understand the fustration and hard work and the left behind and loneliness of it#a lot of times I’m like it’s not that serious#but#sometimes#sometimes…#dyslexia#discalculia
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got caught getting lunch in the campus cafeteria by my ceramics professor after skipping his class this morning :dead:
#FUCK#THATS SO UNLUCKY#i bailed on his class because i was up all night and i also wanted to buy a new backpack and i knew i could get away with not going to his#class#but i had to go to my english class bc i didn’t want to bail on that one#so i’m on campus bc i had that class and i’m doing homework to catch up#AND i saw my math prof after skipping his class yesterday#FUCK this is what i get for being on a small campus#aaaggghhh#bones does college
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talking to him more very much achieved. we just talked for like 4 hours in the kitchen holy shit I need to sleep
#I went into the kitchen to wash up wanting it to be a few minutes to get back to my parents by he came home at the same time#unsure what just happened honestly! as in I’m not sure what is going on from his end of the interaction#because I have never met anyone who would just do that before. like four hours straight when before we’d talked for periods of idk 10minutes#and he WAS engaged the whole time#granted he spent a significant amount of time talking. he talked far more than I did which is often the case but Im not sure how I felt here#I think he gets excited abt individual topics and. gets carried away is the wrong word but he gets absorbed in it#he spent a while talking me through the very complex maths he’s been doing recently#(he studies maths. also abt to start masters.) and was assuming a much stronger mathematical background than I have but I understood a bunch#he IS very good at explaining things and I was interested to a point but unfortunately I was not going to ask about individual theorems and#shit like that at 11pm. it was still super interesting I’m not downplaying that but I didn’t know half of what he brought up#there was basically no way I was going to understand much more than the vague concept anyway#anyway! also extremely into food. especially into traditional chinese cooking which is cool as fuck and I now know so much more abt food#I have never personally cared much at all about food. I enjoy when taste good and I enjoy cooking. he’s into the precision cooking#that he told me apparently Chinese and French food is the best in the world at. meant to be amazing at going for specific effects#oh he came back from a musical! apparently abt a woman with bipolar that was on in London I might check what that was. next to normal#cried 7 times. apparently he’s super into stories with that kinda emotional payoff. started telling me later abt tokyo animation#priest if you’re already seeing this I WILL be asking you abt it later but pls tell me whatever. he likes clannad and sound euphorium#bunch of others but those are the ones he talked most abt and started tearing up when he played me a song from clannad where the baby’s born#so I think biggest things I’ve learned are that he’s impressively in touch w his emotions (further damaging the straight guy case)#regardless it’s just nice to talk to a guy who talks abt stuff so openly it’s very refreshing#unsure how cultural differences factor in here. I would’ve expected it to go the other way but possible this is a degree more normal#and he’s very very academically minded. he learned Japanese bc was bored after high school and is doing a WHOLE lot of extra maths for fun#socially definitely very competent he’s very good at talking but a little more focused inward.#definitely did not notice the (admittedly extremely gentle) flirting throughout like when I complimented his bracelet#(this cute gold year of the rat thing his mum got him)#so yeah. was very fun talking to him. will process this for a while#I think this has definitely established that we could be friends if either of us pursue that after summer which is very cool!! will see#luke.txt
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Kid me had a slightly warped idea of what the average human lifespan was and how likely it was to survive cancer. The first funeral I ever went to was from someone who died at 102 and the second human funeral was someone who died from cancer so I just assumed that cancer was a death sentence and that if you didn’t die from disease or an accident, dying of “old age” meant you were at least 99 😑
#emma posts#the whole accident part was from a few different sources#one was probably watching my first puppy get hit by a car when i was five#later I started to get a slightly less warped image of how many things can kill a person#but there was a period where I had a really weird concept of normal mortality#it was like ‘lots of accidents can kill you. cancer kills you. and if they don’t you live to 100’#I also saw 9-11 on tv when I was four or five (I’d have to do the math)#and filed that under unexpected accidents (intentional or not)#had a more normal understanding by the time I was like nine or ten I think#soon after I started to have a more realistic idea of things someone I knew died of an aneurysm in their 30s so that influenced it as well#by the time I was probably 12 or 13 I had a more realistic idea of how lifespans and mortality tends to work#no one told me the one kid I met who had cancer didn’t die from it though so I just spent years assuming she had died but was too afraid to#ask about it because i didn’t want to make things awkward#the older I got the more I was like she might have lived but I’m not sure how to bring it up this much later#she had lived. I didn’t ask until like my 20s 😑
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