#bec I said so
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Goldie thinks she’s worse than she is. Like don’t get me wrong she is awful but she thinks she’s the worst ever to ever
#this is important to understand about her character#bec I said so#like#don’t get me wrong#Goldie has very backward morals#and does what she needs to#because she’s awful#but also not#like she can be a little sweetie when she wants#but she refuses to accept that part of her#she acts as if that’s a fluke#a design flaw if you will#it’s never on purpose because obviously she’s incapable of being nice#excpect she isn’t#she just so used to being mean that sometimes she forget or surprises herself that she can in fact be lovely#she’s complicated#but she likes to simplify her self#in her mind it’s Goldie=bad#but also Goldie=successful#and that’s just fine by her#goldie o'gilt#crazy lady#I love her
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look. LOOK AT THIS IM GONNA EXPLODE
Imma go ahead and cry now.
#avatar 2#avatar#avatar way of water#stephen lang#quaritch#miles quaritch#spider socorro#na'vi quaritch#avatar 2 way of the water#spider#recom quaritch#colonel quaritch#THIS IS SO FREAKING CUTE MY HEART MY SOUL MY EVERYTHING#imagine quaritch secretly doing this blade to match spider bec he knows spider is always in the forest at least he got a weapon like BRUH#LIKE I JUST CANT#Stephen said pup so ill take it as how Quaritch calls Spider#avatar the way of water
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Beclightober day 30 - pov: the sc artstyle in two years
#bec posting#bec light#i love bec light#sperklacera#beclightober#miley#miley smiley#becley#bec x miley#trashcan#<- thats the ship name because i said so.#sparklecriticism
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SO ABOUT JADE AND BEC........!!!!!!!!!
#homestuck#gemstuck#hs#chris doodles#becquerel#jade harley#SHE'S A BIG DOGGIE NOW#she's like the Only one able to fuse with bec and somehow Not corrupt her own gem and stay stable#because i said so
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this is it, the wuvvy thoughts are here
ok to preface: i think that Rue is a very compelling flawed character, and i have lots of Rue feelings but I have more Wuvvy feelings.
Alright so Wuvvy is Rue's faithful right hand, she has shaped her life around Rue, following them and leaving her own court and giving up a position as a champion. Notably, Wuvvy has always willingly done everything Rue has asked, maybe even done more than that to the point of anticipating their needs, maybe that liberty will lead to her downfall. She repeatedly reassures Rue, of her love and support in pretty much anything and everything. The phrase "you know i love you, right?" is such a beautiful and tragic summary of her character.
Because she reassures them of her love by word and by action - and the rift is caused when Rue commands her. Up until that point Wuvvy was supportive of Rue's interest in Hobb, maybe not thinking too deeply about it, maybe just to validate Rue's feelings and make them feel good. But when she was made to burn the letter, something breaks. She would have done what was asked of her, but to be commanded at the slightest and maybe first hesitation Wuvvy has ever shown? and when Wuvvy's questions aren't even against Rue, she is deeply in favor of Rue chasing their happiness, she only expresses grief when they doubt themselves. That strikes me as deeply grave betrayal, to command a willing person whose only hesitation was fuelled by good intentions. And an argument can be made that maybe Wuvvy harbors jealousy but I think any of it comes after this moment, any doubt comes back to this command.
So she takes a liberty and acts in the name of Rue's honor, challenging Hobb to a duel for the offence of making them cry.
And Rue, Rue who believes in love and romance but is also volatile and confused and full of secrets and fear. Who is a master of weaving words and placating and putting on a show and putting the correct face on for whoever sees them. Rue chases romance, sheds their glamour, and still leans on Wuvvy for support in the midst of this rift: "but you'll stay by my side" and it's a statement, not a question. They remain assured of Wuvvy's support, why wouldn't they be? when they've been frequently reassured of Wuvvy's undying devotion and love. And what does Wuvvy say in return? "It's been very nice to walk beside you" and maybe that's the problem.
And we see the distance grow between them, they start to be out of sync. Rue says their thing about wanting Wuvvy to learn to exist, being worried that she is "bound by obligation and not love" and what does that even mean? what does that sound like to someone who has taken on obligation out of love? What does Rue expect Wuvvy to find by "existing", romance? why would they presume that?
And the final thing is "your contract is done, you are no longer bound by me". Oh to drop that on a person who does not view this as a contract. Imagine Wuvvy having the most important person in her life so solemnly say something that shows such a profound misunderstanding of her person.
Maybe they are both selfish and their relationship is needlesly complicated by unwavering devotion and inequality. In the end we see Rue chasing romance and the idea of love and being volatile and passionate. And Wuvvy loved a person or the idea of them, never making for a real understanding, never forming a true reciprocity.
tldr: a 10/10 tragedy of a person, wuvvy.
#dont get me started on Hobb#i might fucking lose it if i do#d20 a court of fey and flowers#acofaf#wuvvy#delloso de la rue#i said wuvvy rights and i mean it#this has been my thoughts#come on someone go absolutely nuts over this with me#god do i love a tragedy#if you read all that i love you#also i am kinda insane right now so if i made any pronoun errors or if anything is confusing bec of the pronoun usage lmk but gently please#ive been taught to be a stickler for old grammar because of a classist upbringing and sometimes it confuses me when i use they singular
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drawing on an old ms paint web port in my phone with my finger is so freeing I almost don't care anymore
#homestuck#midnight crew#problem sleuth#my friends to blame for the one seat away thing cause they said they looked like they were sitting across each other in a bar#the bec thing is extremely self indulgent runs away#sorry i possibly made bec small im so tired#’i dont care‘ apologizes#ill draw more mc later probably....#art
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This was lazily done but hey, it's better than posting nothing.
#Jaspers said dark white *once* and Quinn never let him hear the end of it#incorrect quotes#guidestuck#bec harley#quinn egbert#jaspers lalonde#cal strider#I slept like thrice today and I'm still sO tired🙁
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guess who's gna hv to go to the hospital tmr and probably hv the infected wound surgically removed
#ITS ME ☝️☝️☝️☝️💥💥💥#skipping sch is so fun yall infection be damned#okay tiny rant after this yall hv been warned#THIS GIRL VERY FUNNY AH#bro ur concern means absolute jack SHIT to me if all youre gna do is be a bitch about it#yeah okay i admit i have zero clue how to treat wounds esp infected ones n i didnt even know the infection was this severe until someone#until my friends told me today#LIKE YEAH I ADMIT ID BE THE TYPE OF PERSON FIRST TO DIE IN A HORROR MOVIE#but like that doesnt give you the excuse to keep calling me dumbass/idiot/stupid#and all the other synonyms of dumb youve been calling me today????#like girl YOURE the certified first aider not me???#and like the qualifications doesnt even give u the right to call me dumb like what the hell#like ik shes concerned for me bec she was the one helping me treat my wound today b4 i saw a doctor#but like she kept making it sound like im a 5yo w absolutely zero sense of safety and shit#and like she kept making it sound like i was FORCING her to help me#NO I WASNT ??#YOU OFFERED?? THEN YOU STARTED BEING AN ASS ABOUT IT???#then like she kept. calling me stupid. like even after the joke got old#bec at first it was her and my other friends teasing me about it and it was funny at first but then she kept going on n on even after that??#then she forced me to see a doctor which i admit was smart i shldve gone to a doctor like. yesterday 😭😭#but then when we were at the clinic she deadass said smth along the lines of “i hv to work and worry sm bec of YOU today”#as if i forced her to accompany me to the doctor??? but it was HER idea ????#also she deadass called the nurse who dressed my wound unprofessional#and she called the doctor i saw on saturday useless bec the antibiotics he prescribed me last week werent working#like. bro if ur so smart then why dont YOU go med sch rn and become a doctor huh#bro ur goofy ahh 1y/o first aid cert aint shit compared to the guy who spent 12+ years studying med n working for even more years than that#like i cannot get over the fact she kept calling me dumbass the entire day#and it was so aggressively too and she threatened to slap me bec i was “being stupid”#and like she kept making my infection out to be so severe as if i wld drop dead right that second or my arm wld fall off or some shit#AAAAAAAAA THIS GOT SO LONG I HIT 30 TAGS WHOOPS HAVE A MWAMWA IF U READ THIS LONG IM SORRY IM JS PISSED BUT I TRIED NOT TO SWEAR 😭😭🙏🙏
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eldest daughter syndrome really do be kicking my ass tbh
#i just find it like so unfair yknow#im the only one who works in myhouse and full time#but i come home and the house isnt clean and i tidy up and sort everything out and tidy the kitchen anf living room after dinner and put#my sister to bed and yk if there was no one else to do these things id understand but#i have 5 brothers all of whom are adults and they dont lift a finger#its not as if any of them work bec they dont and neither does my dad#and im so so so exhausted yk? bec not everything is my job or responsibility#and i keep blaming other things for me getting sick but yknow what maybe i just dont rest enough#and the other day i was upset bec i'd had a tough day at work and i felt unwell and i cleaned up everything after dinner and my brother#said i didnt have a right to be upset bec i “chose” this. like as if i chose to work full time nd do all the chores for a family of 9#and it just really upsets me bec no one sees an issue with it and im so mad at my mom at rhe same time#constant therapy sessions w her bec shes mad at my dad and wants someone to vent at and then he does the same abt her and my brothers#and im so tired yknow just sososos tired bec she'll complain abt how they dont do anything but then she wont ensure they do either#its just empty complaints whereas she thrust responsibility on me when i was 9 and yet my brothers are 18+ - all but one that is and they#cant even do their own laundry bec she just..... did everything for them all the time but now is mad that they cant do anything.#like yes i know my dad is a failure of a husband and a father i expected that i'll never be a good enough daughter for him and that the onl#thing he has to say about me is that im bringing shame on our family despite everything ive done but come on#im just tired and upset#its hard not to see yourself as a robot or machine when theres little room to be anything else.#and even on a day like today when i dont feel well it never stops and i just keep doing#im sad i want a hug from my gangster bf#oh god i am sorry pls do not perceive me for this#and yk what#thats why i cant stand when people are nice to me bec all i can think of is#i havent done anything to deserve this? i should have to give something in return#or if not#theres something this person must want because why else would they be nice to me when i havent done anything for them#i cannot fathom the concept that someone just wants me because its me#its literally just not possible why would anyone fo that for me
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it's so funny how I can meow more realistically than bark, if I try to bark it's just high pitched like a tiny dog, and if I meow, I sound like an old ass cat
I cannot growl or do other stuff though, I can do a cats "mmmmmmmm" when angry, and can hiss when scared (i don't do it on purpose actually) but other than that I still can't get the other noises yet 😭
I can do a bird sound tho
#wolfkin#caninekin#dogkin#starsboys post#otherkin rambles#otherkin stuff is running through my head plus I'm bored so I said#“hey fuck it lets share this to tumblr.”#I'm a wolf#and yet I can mostly just do cat noises#anyway does anyone else clench their jaws and teeth bec their brain goes “angry dog mode”#like it doesn't really happen now but it used to#also I'm wild but also not wild what the absolute fuck am I#debating on deleting honestly lol#I could ramble abt my experiences girl (neutral)#oh wow I'm actually allowing myself to be free to express this online instead of being worried about being seen as “weird”
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When Florence + The Machine created the beautiful masterpiece that is “The Bomb” you can’t tell me they didn’t have a Scrooge and Goldie dynamic in mind
#bec they did#they axtually wrote it about Scrooge and Goldie#if you haven’t listened#go listen#now#yesterday#forever#it is Scrooge and Goldie#because I said so#but also bec it just it#like bro#you can’t say shit like#“unavailability is the only thing that turns me on”#and not expect me to pull out my this scroldie flag#and slap it all over the track#goldie o'gilt#scrooge mcduck#they’re fucked#in the head#and I love them for it
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a good cry always does wonders
#sorry for the vent ! feel free to scroll past !#had a nice conversation w my bf today#let out a good cry#and idt ive ever loved him more#was anxious about sharing lots of things w him bc i didn't really know how he'd react#or was afraid of disappointing him or smth but#he could already tell#i never used to fully grasp what it meant or felt like when ppl would say: someone who knows u better than u know urself#but today he rlly showed me just that#he's been hinting smth at me for the past few months that he thinks maybe this one thing i'm trying out isn't really for me#bec i guess he could really see that i was just trying to force it#and when i was sharing how i felt today and couldn't really voice it out#he tried to help me w it and asked if i was feeling x way and y way#and it was exactly that :( he said it was cos he's been noticing it from me for a while#and he was so sweet with the way he responded too#all love and support and not in any way disappointed at all#and idk i just feel like wow. isn't that such a special thing? to have someone know and respect u like this#i appreciate how he didn't push/pry at me the months before (bc he knows i don't really like being prodded unless i share it myself)#(i like to keep things to myself for a while to give myself the chance to handle it before involving others)#and idk i'm feeling a different type of soft today#and like a huge weight was lifted off me#lovebug#i talked so much again
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heol
#unrelated its ltr not even what i linked but chasing time - azealia.. Dontttt omg ts is so facking good who made that beat!!!!!!!!!!#ANW. if breakaway is minhui then this is yijun. mayb the single ver more than true romance ver actually.. it js sounds more raw#i rly wanna talk abt why he hates jaehee#bc i’ve yapped abt minhui and talked abt DY/JY sort-of parallels in replies somewhere i found it the other day#and ik the ‘he doesn’t fit’ is what's been written (in pieces + that yt rundown i think) but likee it goes deeper than that#im gnna struggle to put it into words properly but im talking to myself so i can not make sense as much as i want thanks#ok. so he goes on and on abt how jaehee ruined BS bec he ‘didn’t fit’ into the four that they were without him but. he’s lowk projecting#he joined JG in 2016 - jiyeol mai hyeonmin and KOHEN were all there before him. jy’s in ‘08 mi + kh in 2010 + hm 2011#they chucked their whole childhoods away for jg - and in reward they were meant to be jg’s first boygroup#they ltr would’ve debuted in 2013 if it wasn’t for hyojoo being like hey! this is kinda weird lol! a 17 yo two 15 yos + a 13 yo is weird!#yj was late as HELLLL 2the party. he wouldve been left as a trainee while JY MI KH HM debuted as 9ANTHER if it wasnt 4 The Kohen Mai Thing#aka they started messing around in like 2014 while jy pretended he wasnt abt to crash out and hm had to listen to jy trying not2 crash out#then it got real bad like august 2016 and all of a sudden they HATEDD eo they couldnt even b in the same room#(aka. kh wanted him mi wanted jy and said Lollll i hate u die)#all in all: kh kicked off debut team. spot opens up for yijun right as he enters the company. he’s not cut out for ts at all#he was lonely back home and now he’s lonely here and now apparently he’s in a debut team with 3 guys who know eo and he wants to die#hyeonmin like smiles at him like ONCE during practice and he latches on fastttt this leech 😭😭😭 tries to worm his way in via hm#spoiler! it only half works theres sand under his skin he hates it all he’s not meant for them he needs a gun#it gets better over the years and jy + mi sorting their shit out & cutting off kh completely makes yj feel wayy more secure#and then they debut even if it is after yoonhae’s literal death. and then jaehee comes in like Hiii i like to act and colour ^_^#HE WNATS TO DIEE ITS HIM ALL OVER AGAIN!!!!!!! cant even bear to look at him#like the walls are UP he’s not letting himself become kohen. and when jh tries to get close to min - ltr exactly like he did.......#ITS NEVER BEEN MORE BONSOVERRRR#so there. he’s mean and hates him and wants him dead for that. Yayyyy#kh has def said some nasttyyyyy shit to yj too ijbol like mind you he didnt leave jg until jy did! THIS YEAR!#the song. is abt himself. him to him in the mirror. to kohen. to jaehee. he’s mad at shit that’s never happened and he’s never gonna stop#the ‘why did you fall for me’ though.. that’s him to min like#he feels like he’s conned him into it - bec the first couple months he only rly was around him to try and get into the inner circle#and then he fell in Lol. Gay#‘you’re not there / you’re just an echo’ is def towards hm after 2020 when him and mai left too ouhhhhh throws up
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hey not to be obsessed with The Real People but my little heart every time brennan is the first person to laugh at something izzy does God They Are So Cute
#i feel weird about caring about the personal lives of people who create things i enjoy#bec parasocial relationships are weird and they make me feel weird but#that being said they are So Cute and i feel like recognising that is Not Weird#discuss the ethics of parasocial relationships with me#shoot me an ask#chat with me#bec i get excited to receive messages and then its just a fucking pornbot
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was nervous about having to drive to get labs done (bec i procrastinated my last apptment of the year...) on my own bec of the recent weather but my dad said he would drive me. yay!
#hvaña#this will be my first winter driving n im lowkey terrified bec of how much shit always happens in winter around here#like snow tires only do so much and they dont stop other people from not safely driving lmao#but my mom said she could drive me if i needed to in the mornings which i appreciate immensely.
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having such a sad bitter evening
#kinda just circling but i'm angry and hurt and sad#I give way too much benefit of the doubt to people who hurt me because I care#when I get none in return. at all. no room for grace. no room to resolve anything because the version of me they made up is Evil apparently#the lack of self awareness is one thing but the absolute cruelty is another#I got about 5 minutes into telling my grandma the events of the trip not even getting to the escalation after#and she literally cut me off to tell me “bec your friend is an abuser you need to get away from them”#it's just been ringing in my head bc so many people have said something like that but not that bluntly#and i couldn't. and i still can't mentally. and i wish i didn't have to#personal
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