#beauty and the beast parody

[weisscoldglare]

What if... Beauty and the Beast (the 90's Disney version) monochrome? But who would be the beast and who would be the beauty?

dunno if i can even do disney, but here's my take!

It'd be easy to say Weiss offended a witch lol

[omnybus]

Beat our guest, beat our guest, Slam a bat into their chest

Stuff a rock into a sock and turn their face into a mess

Poke their eyes, hit their nose, drop a hammer on their toes

Hack their hand off with a hatchet

Or just grab a brick and smash it

Break their arms, break their face, pop a socket out of place

unleash all the hidden fury you’ve suppressed!

They’ll find it hard to plead, when they profusely bleed

all down their vest-

I don’t jest!

They’re too toothless to protest!

Beat our guest, beat our guest, beat our guest!

[sugarplanet]

A goofy idea I've been doodling out in between work. It probably doesn't need to be here but I liked how some of this turned out. ^^'

[buttermander]

Ok hear me out people, Dragon Twisted Sprout

So I've seen how people are redesigning the twisteds and I thought of a fun concept. So you take Twisted Sprout, give him little leaf wings, root horns on his head, and little ichor spines on the scarf tendril, thus we have ourselves a " Dragonfruit". I can just imagine him turning the Diner floor into his lair and he had a whole hoard of stolen kitchen supplies (including a whole oven), the Savory Charm trinket, and old posters taken from the walls depicting him and his best friend. Next thing you know Cosmo finds him and now he has this dragon thing that was his best friend following him around like an overgrown puppy dog. In this case not even the ichor is able to kill their friendship, Cosmo's got a dragon buddy now. Anyway thank you for coming to my Dragon Twisted Sprout Ted talk, I think he's neat. (Maybe I should unleash this creature on the Twisted Rehab ask blog )

...a part of me is slightly afraid of the potentially feral reaction the Fruitcake shippers will have if they uncover this concept....

[disney-is-mylife]

You know you make too many memes when you LITERALLY DREAMED ONE UP jxlfnajdngsdngsd

[squiderdoodle]

Tale as old as time~♡

[madame-helen]

[ariel-seagull-wings]

DISNEY AND COCTEAU

@themousefromfantasyland @the-blue-fairie @princesssarisa @amalthea9 @thealmightyemprex @minimumheadroom

(Sing this song with the melody of Tale as Old as Time (Beauty and the Beast))

Vincent Cassel's film

David Pownall's play

Golan-Globus too

Tried to make it new

With Miss DeMornay

David Lister twice

Meat Loaf videos

Twilight: Breaking Dawn

Perlman comma Ron

Disney’s and Cocteau’s

Jean Cocteau once said

And we say again

Film won’t be an art

‘Til they make its parts

Cheap as ink and pen!

David Bowie's song

Also Stevie Nicks

Books around the world

Beastly with that girl

From the spring break flick

Films with Kevin James

Some Australian show

TV’s Kreuk and Ryan

Monday nights at nine

Disney and Cocteau

Even the X-Men

It will never end

Disney and Cocteau

[clefaiiiry]

Rewatched Belle and I will forever be disappointed in the final direction it took

[omnybus]

Gaston Song (dirty version)

Gosh it disturbs me to view you, Gaston,

Looking so flaccid and limp

Everyone here'd love to do you, Gaston,

For you they would happily simp

No man in town's as titillating as you,

You're everyone's favorite whore!

I think of you while masturbating, it's true

And we all can see why, that's for suuuuuuuuuure!

Nooo oooooooone... Fucks like Gaston

No one sucks like Gaston

No one whores themselves out for ten bucks like Gaston!

For there's no man in town half as sexy!

A pornographic paragon!

You can ask any Tom, Dick, or Betsy

And they'll tell you whose dick they'd prefer to be ooooon!

Noooo oooooone... bangs like Gaston!

All the gangs like Gaston!

No one's got quite a heft to his wang like Gaston!

"Yes, my genitals are quite intimidating!"

Oh, what a ho, that Gaston!

Fuck five ladies! Suck seven dudes!

Gaston is the best and the rest are all prudes!

Noooo... oooone... jerks like Gaston!

Does sex work like Gaston!

No one drops down his trousers and twerks like Gaston!

For there's none with as big of a booty!

"As you see, I've got bottom to bare!"

And his balls are so big, fat, and juicy-

"That's right! And I keep 'em smooth cuz I rub them with Nair!"

No one bums like Gaston!

All his chums like Gaston!

In a wanking match, nobody cums like Gaston!

"I'm especially good at e-jac-u-lating! UNGH!"

Ten points for Gaston!

When I was a lad, I sucked four dozen dicks

Every evening to help me pay rent

And now that I'm grown, I suck five dozen dicks

And I leave them all totally speeeeeent!

Nooooo... oooooone... faps like Gaston!

Makes them clap like Gaston!

And then gives that big booty a slap like Gaston!

"All the lasses find my ass so fascinating!"

Oh what a ho!

Gastoooooooon!

[dndwithray]

Curse of Strahd x Beauty and the Beast

[Strahd:] Who did she think she was? That girl had tangled with the wrong man! No one says "no" to Strahd!

[Cyrus Belview:] Heh heh. Darn right.

[Strahd:] Dismissed! Rejected! Publicly Humiliated! Why, it's was than I could bear.

[Cyrus Belview:] More beer, sir?

[Gaston:] Cyrus, you know I'm more of a blood wine guy... Besides, nothing helps. I'm disgraced.

[Cyrus Belview:] Who, you? Never! Strahd, you've got to pull yourself

together.

Gosh it disturbs me to see you, Lord Strahd

Looking so down in the dumps

Every guy here'd love to be you, Lord Strahd

Offering wine that hearts pump

There's no man in this realm as admired as you

You're ev'ryone's favorite guy

Ev'ryone's awed and inspired by you

And it's not very hard to see why

No one's slick as Lord Strahd

No one's quick as Lord Strahd

No one's ego's as incredibly thick as Lord Strahd

For there's no man in this realm half as manly

Perfect, a pure paragon

You can ask any Ismark, Ireena, or Mad Mary

And they'll tell you who's fear puts the pressure on

[Chorus:] No one's been like Lord Strahd

A king pin like Lord Strahd

[Cyrus Belview:] No one's got quite the devilish grin like Lord Strahd

[Strahd:] As a specimen, yes, I'm intimidating

[Chorus:] My what a guy, that Lord Strahd

[heart-star]

If you've seen the beauty & the beast you'll know 3 fangirl characters who even does the choir part: Claudia, Laura & Paula also known as the Bimbettes.

I thought that Craftycorn, being of her personality may have a trio of bullies as it happens to others.

Can you imagine those 3 also crushing on Dogday and taking him everytime?

[sundove88]

The Angry Cartoon Heroes Movie (The Angry Birds Movie Parody) Casting:

Cartoon characters lead a mostly happy existence, except for Donald Duck (Tony Anselmo), who just can't get past the daily annoyances of life. His temperament leads him to anger management class, where he meets fellow misfits Sonic (Roger Craig Smith) and Bomberman. Donald becomes even more agitated when his brethren welcome crocodiles to their island paradise. As the Kremlins begin to get under his skin, Donald joins forces with Sonic and Bomberman to investigate the real reason behind their mysterious arrival.

Donald, Sonic, Bomberman and the rest of their cartoon friends are surprised when a Crocodile suggests that they put aside their differences and unite to fight a common threat. Aggressive cartoons from an island covered in ice are planning to use an elaborate weapon to destroy the cartoon and croc way of life. After picking their best and brightest, the cartoons and crocs come up with a scheme to infiltrate the island, deactivate the device and return to their respective paradises intact.

Donald Duck as Red (Mickey and Friends)

Sonic as Chuck (Sonic The Hedgehog)

Bomberman as Bomb (Bomberman)

El Mustachio Grande as Mighty Eagle (Poptropica)

King K. Rool as King Leonard (Donkey Kong Country)

Kamek as Ross (Super Mario)

Golden Cheese Cookie as Matilda (Cookie Run Kingdom)

King Dedede as Terence (Kirby)

Mei Lee as Stella (Turning Red)

Reala as Judge Peckinpah (NiGHTS Into Dreams)

Jackle as Cyrus (NiGHTS into Dreams)

Yamcha as Hal (Dragon Ball Z)

Tien as Bubbles (Dragon Ball Z)

Eirin Yagokoro as Old Lady Bird (TouHou)

Mr. Mime as Mime Bird (Pokemon)

Various Characters as Various Birds

Groose as the Hug Trader (The Legend of Zelda)

Various Characters as The Pigs

LeFou as Earl (Beauty and the Beast)

Huey, Dewy, and Louie as Jay, Jake, and Jim (Ducktales)

Daisy Duck as Silver (Mickey and Friends)

Gretchen Grimlock as Zeta (Poptropica)

Poison Mushroom Cookie as Debbie (Cookie Run Kingdom)

Professor Sada as Courtney (Pokemon)

Professor Turo as Garry (Pokemon)

Speeding Spike and Crusher as Jerry and Carl (Poptropica)

Sir Rebral as Glenn (Poptropica)

Ratman as Axel (Poptropica)

Cookiemals as The Hatchlings (Cookie Run Ovenbreak)

Cotton Candy Cookie as Pinky (Cookie Run Ovenbreak)

Riju as Ella (The Legend of Zelda)

Various Villains as The Eagles (Poptropica)

Here’s a hint for the next casting:

🌊⛵���🌺

[10moonymhrivertam]

Hazbin BatB AU Preview

Charlie pushed open the door, smiling at the gentle chime that wound through the shop. It was louder than such a little bell ought to have been able to make, but only if you listened the right way, like her mother had taught her. Looking into one of the dim corners of the shop helped resolve Alastor’s shape out of the shadows, even as he stepped onto the floor-proper of the bookshop.

“Charlie! You little demon. Back so soon?” Charlie could never help the way her smile widened to match Alastor’s grin.

“Morning, Al! Yeah. The chickens were actually fine, but the goats want way more food.” She spread her arms like she was sketching out a rainbow. “We reached a compromise,” she added, reaching down into her bag to present him with the borrowed spellbook. Al gave it a cursory once-over that it seemed to pass – the shadows wrapped around it and ferried it back to one of the half-hidden shelves.

“Last time it took you three days.” Alastor looked at her sideways over his glasses, his grin widening a fraction. “Well done.”

Charlie felt like she was glowing. She beamed back at him.

“Have you got anything new in?” She bounced on her toes. He considered her for several long moments before slipping sideways. She blinked, squinting a little to keep an eye on him.

“Not new, exactly…” He wandered alongside the shelves, running his finger across the spines in his way. After several steps, he stopped, tapping one of them and sliding his finger up to pull it from the shelves. “...I’ve little use for this one,” he announced. He slipped back onto the floor again, holding it out between them. “Go ahead and take it.”

“One-Thousand and One Nights?” Charlie was startled by a smart rap to the top of her head.

“Look,” Alastor instructed. Charlie blinked down at the book, watched the cover waver and melt away.

“Love in All Its Forms.” Charlie wrinkled her nose. “Al, I’m not gonna lie, love spells...kinda have rape-y vibes.” She peeked up at him.

“Well, I’ve memorized the spell for dispelling love.” Alastor’s gaze wandered to the window. Charlie followed his gaze to watch a duck fall out of the sky. She grimaced, hugging the book to her chest. “I’m giving it to you, regardless. May as well see where it takes you, no?”

“...Yeah. Okay.”

“Attagirl!” He cried, clapping her on the back. She summoned another smile, smaller than before. He gave her another once-over. “Would you like a charm for your way home?” He extended a hand. Technically, the answer was yes. Alastor charged pretty steeply for his workings, though, even for her. She’d only brought along enough money to cover the deposit he sometimes charged her for borrowing from the magical library – even that was an indulgence, she was pretty sure, that came out of frequenting the bookstore since she was a kid dangling off her Mom’s hand.

“No, thank you.” She managed to maintain her smile as she pushed his hand back toward him. He hummed, closing his hand. He tilted his head at her.

“Well. Better get along to your father, now.” Her smile widened at the familiar eye roll. “Safe travels, Charlie.”

She waved at him as she departed the store. After a few steps, morbid curiosity drove her to start leafing through the book. She found herself engrossed. The book wasn’t as bad as she’d initially assumed, but it wasn’t super stellar, either – a spell for finding a lost loved one could be great if they were scared of being alone; less great if they were scared of you. That spell Alastor had mentioned, about dispelling love – he was clearly happy knowing it, but Sev was her closest friend, and if she’d used something like this when she was heartbroken, she’d never have known.

This book, like a lot of Alastor’s spellbooks, had notes in the margins. It was in several hands. Charlie imagined it was a student-teacher or parent-child kind of deal, but Alastor had never contributed. For one thing, the first time she’d brought it up to him, he’d complained about it for forty-five minutes, which had been a little hilarious. For another, most of these people wrote in cursive, but Alastor tended to use the same neat print he used for his bookkeeping everywhere. The potion recipe correction that had caught her eye now was done in a flowing cursive. She squinted at it, trying to figure out if it was correcting the measurement or the ingredient itself.

“’Sup, l’il hottie?” Charlie was so glad for the book. It covered her grimace for the few moments before she got her face under control.

“Hi, Adam.” She avoided breaking stride, hoping she could just leave him behind, but he slipped around behind her, grabbing the book as he went. She sucked in a breath, worried and angry, but when she turned to him, he looked about as disinterested as he ever did. “Adam,” she said, carefully calm. “May I have my book, please?”

“Hot and smart, huh?” He waggled his eyebrows at her. She tried not to gag. “Not even one single picture – really?” He flipped through a few more pages. Well, at least that reassured her that he still couldn’t see. There were plenty of diagrams in the book.

“It’s called a chapter book for a reason.” She made herself sound as cheerful as she could. Adam rolled his eyes. She reared back. For just a moment, an intangible wind rippled through her hair.

“Charlie. Babe.” She couldn’t make the wind die down, but either Adam somehow wasn’t seeing it, or he wasn’t noticing how weird it was. “Chapter books have got nothing on reality.” Adam flung the book over his shoulder, and Charlie’s breath caught in her chest. It arched through the air and – Oh God, oh fuck, it didn’t matter if it was a present instead of a loaner, if Alastor ever found out she let one of his books land in the mud he would kill her. “Reality’s got me,” he added, even as Charlie dove past him to rescue the book. He paused a moment, and she thought maybe he would apologize, but then – “God, that ass.”

She shot to her feet, book in hands, glaring at him. At least the wind was getting kind of tangible, so it wasn’t so weird that it was picking up her hair any more. Adam was holding up his hands in surrender, but there was a lazy expression on his face that made her angrier.

“Look, baby. Come on over to the bar, and we can get your book on a nice, safe little table, and I’ll make sure no one uses it as a coaster or anything, and you and me and Lute can all...get to know each other.”

Charlie shuddered. She managed to keep a hold of herself long enough to take a deep breath.

“Maybe some other time,” she lied. Since she’d already dove into the mud, she went ahead and started wiping the mud from the book with the sleeve of her blazer. “Please,” she added. “I gotta go make sure Dad’s all packed.”

“Gotta make sure Loony Luci doesn’t pack three rubber ducks instead of his toothbrush?” Lute quipped, coming up from behind Adam to stand just behind his shoulder. He snickered. All at once, the wind was back.

“Don’t talk about my Dad that way!”

Adam scrambled for a moment, and then turned around to flip Lute off. “Yeah, don’t talk about her fucking Dad that way!”

“My Dad’s not crazy! He’s a genius,” she snarled.

BOOM!

Charlie whipped around, the wind gone again. Smoke was rising from the basement’s open windows.

“Shit!” She took off at a run over the bridge, leaving Adam’s spluttering laughter behind her. It seemed like the cloud was already dissipating as she crested the hill, so she felt safe deciding that the house wasn’t actually on fire, but she didn’t bother slowing down, sliding in the dirt as she stopped in front of the basement doors. She threw them open, recoiling from the smoke.

“Dad?”

“’S okay!” He called back. Through the smoke, she saw him bent double, wheezing. “Just. Did the rubber duck test a little later than planned.”

“Um. That looks. A little...exploded. Are you sure you just put a rubber duck on one end?”

“Yeah.” He sighed, scrubbing a sooty hand through his hair. “I didn’t think it was that dependent on balance, but. Good to know. ‘Cause not everyone’ll use it the same.” He glanced back at the machine. “I’m just glad it didn’t fall apart.”

“It’s a mechanical chef, right?”

“Well. Chef’s being a little generous. It is supposed to kind of automate a kitchen, though.”

“Aw, but cooking is so nice. Why would anyone wanna automate it?” She reached out to poke at the axe on the end of it. Dad caught her wrist with a practiced, gentle hand.

“People with big houses are always doing dumb things with their money, CharChar. What if some little kid inherits a big ol’ chateau and half the staff ditch? She’s not gonna know how to hire more, and the butler will be too busy covering duties to do it for her. So. Lighter load for the butler, more time to hire staff – maybe less staff you gotta hire, too!” He cried. “And it can work in little provincial places, too, for the folks that don’t have as much get-up-and-go as they used to.”

“That’s so sweet.” Charlie clasped her hands together in front of her.

“So the boiler’s dependent on being right where it is…” Dad’s voice lowered until he descended into muttering, circling his contraption.

“Do you need any help to have it ready for tomorrow?”

“No. I shouldn’t, no.” He flapped a hand. After a moment of staring, he crossed his arms, holding onto his chin. “Hand me the – uh – dog-legged clencher...thing, if you don’t mind, actually.” Charlie smiled, rummaging around his tools for a moment until she could pass one to him. He disappeared from view. Charlie watched quietly for a few minutes, but then she looked down at her book. She grabbed a spare rag and began cleaning it carefully, standing it up and separating the pages, just in case.

“Dad?” She almost chickened out at the last second, and she wasn’t entirely sure he could hear her over the sounds of his work.

“Charlie?” He echoed. She was still staring at her book. She considered Alastor’s disinterest in it all. Adam constantly asking to ‘get to know’ her. How she and Sev worked so much better as friends.

“...How’d you and Mom meet?” She wasn’t sure it was what she meant to ask, but it felt right when it came out. The sounds of Dad working stopped, though. The basement was silent for a good few minutes.

“It was at a party,” Dad admitted. “Out in the garden, actually. We both picked the same tree for ‘just needing some air’.”

“When did you know she’d be...Mom?” Charlie waved a hand at the house above them, even though Dad wasn’t looking.

“I realized I couldn’t imagine not seeing her every day ever again.” Dad’s voice was a little thick, and Charlie ducked her head. Silence reigned in the basement again. Dad wiggled his way out from behind the invention and gathered her up in a hug. Charlie was forced to face that this blazer might be a lost cause.

“What brought this on?”

“Nothing,” she lied.

“...You know I’m hoping to get us back out of here with this, right? Maybe back out to the city.” Dad rubbed her arm, but then he straightened, eyes wide. “Do you want that, too? I mean, I know this is where your Mom grew up, and she really liked it here, but I just thought...you always just fit right in there, y’know?”

“I liked the city, Dad.” She promised, smiling. “I miss it a lot. ...I’m a little worried Mom’ll finally come back, and she won’t know where to find us. Y’know?”

“I know,” he whispered, gathering her into another hug. “Alright. I’ll think about it. It only matters if I win, anyway. Right?” He grinned sardonically.

“Which you absolutely will!” Charlie cheered, standing up. “C’mon, Dad, put me in charge of something!”

“Go ahead and hitch up Dazzle, kiddo. I think it only needs a couple more adjustments.”

“Aye aye, Captain!” She gave him a snappy salute before rushing back out up to the stables.

[depressingcartoonvillains]

Belle, surprisingly nihilist. 

[seltzer-tastes-pretty-good]

So I saw a few people doing fake Mad parody screencaps and, since it seemed like fun drawing practice, I gave it a go.

Beauty and Mr. Beast