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Teen Girls Confront an Epidemic of Deepfake Nudes in Schools
Using artificial intelligence, middle and high school students have fabricated explicit images of female classmates and shared the doctored pictures.
April 8, 2024
After boys at Francesca Mani’s high school fabricated and shared explicit images of girls last year, she and her mother, Dorota, began urging schools and legislators to enact tough safeguards.Shuran Huang
After boys at Francesca Mani’s high school fabricated and shared explicit images of girls last year, she and her mother, Dorota, began urging schools and legislators to enact tough safeguards.Shuran Huang
Westfield Public Schools held a regular board meeting in late March at the local high school, a red brick complex in Westfield, N.J., with a scoreboard outside proudly welcoming visitors to the “Home of the Blue Devils” sports teams.
But it was not business as usual for Dorota Mani.
In October, some 10th-grade girls at Westfield High School — including Ms. Mani’s 14-year-old daughter, Francesca — alerted administrators that boys in their class had used artificial intelligence software to fabricate sexually explicit images of them and were circulating the faked pictures. Five months later, the Manis and other families say, the district has done little to publicly address the doctored images or update school policies to hinder exploitative A.I. use.
“It seems as though the Westfield High School administration and the district are engaging in a master class of making this incident vanish into thin air,” Ms. Mani, the founder of a local preschool, admonished board members during the meeting.
In a statement, the school district said it had opened an “immediate investigation” upon learning about the incident, had immediately notified and consulted with the police, and had provided group counseling to the sophomore class.
Tenth-grade girls at Westfield High School in New Jersey learned last fall that male classmates had fabricated sexually explicit images of them and shared them.Peter K. Afriyie/Associated Press
“All school districts are grappling with the challenges and impact of artificial intelligence and other technology available to students at any time and anywhere,” Raymond González, the superintendent of Westfield Public Schools, said in the statement.
Blindsided last year by the sudden popularity of A.I.-powered chatbots like ChatGPT, schools across the United States scurried to contain the text-generating bots in an effort to forestall student cheating. Now a more alarming A.I. image-generating phenomenon is shaking schools.
Boys in several states have used widely available “nudification” apps to pervert real, identifiable photos of their clothed female classmates, shown attending events like school proms, into graphic, convincing-looking images of the girls with exposed A.I.-generated breasts and genitalia. In some cases, boys shared the faked images in the school lunchroom, on the school bus or through group chats on platforms like Snapchat and Instagram, according to school and police reports.
Such digitally altered images — known as “deepfakes” or “deepnudes” — can have devastating consequences. Child sexual exploitation experts say the use of nonconsensual, A.I.-generated images to harass, humiliate and bully young women can harm their mental health, reputations and physical safety as well as pose risks to their college and career prospects. Last month, the Federal Bureau of Investigation warned that it is illegal to distribute computer-generated child sexual abuse material, including realistic-looking A.I.-generated images of identifiable minors engaging in sexually explicit conduct.
Yet the student use of exploitative A.I. apps in schools is so new that some districts seem less prepared to address it than others. That can make safeguards precarious for students.
“This phenomenon has come on very suddenly and may be catching a lot of school districts unprepared and unsure what to do,” said Riana Pfefferkorn, a research scholar at the Stanford Internet Observatory, who writes about legal issues related to computer-generated child sexual abuse imagery.
At Issaquah High School near Seattle last fall, a police detective investigating complaints from parents about explicit A.I.-generated images of their 14- and 15-year-old daughters asked an assistant principal why the school had not reported the incident to the police, according to a report from the Issaquah Police Department. The school official then asked “what was she supposed to report,” the police document said, prompting the detective to inform her that schools are required by law to report sexual abuse, including possible child sexual abuse material. The school subsequently reported the incident to Child Protective Services, the police report said. (The New York Times obtained the police report through a public-records request.)
In a statement, the Issaquah School District said it had talked with students, families and the police as part of its investigation into the deepfakes. The district also “shared our empathy,” the statement said, and provided support to students who were affected.
The statement added that the district had reported the “fake, artificial-intelligence-generated images to Child Protective Services out of an abundance of caution,” noting that “per our legal team, we are not required to report fake images to the police.”
At Beverly Vista Middle School in Beverly Hills, Calif., administrators contacted the police in February after learning that five boys had created and shared A.I.-generated explicit images of female classmates. Two weeks later, the school board approved the expulsion of five students, according to district documents. (The district said California’s education code prohibited it from confirming whether the expelled students were the students who had manufactured the images.)
Michael Bregy, superintendent of the Beverly Hills Unified School District, said he and other school leaders wanted to set a national precedent that schools must not permit pupils to create and circulate sexually explicit images of their peers.
“That’s extreme bullying when it comes to schools,” Dr. Bregy said, noting that the explicit images were “disturbing and violative” to girls and their families. “It’s something we will absolutely not tolerate here.”
Schools in the small, affluent communities of Beverly Hills and Westfield were among the first to publicly acknowledge deepfake incidents. The details of the cases — described in district communications with parents, school board meetings, legislative hearings and court filings — illustrate the variability of school responses.
The Westfield incident began last summer when a male high school student asked to friend a 15-year-old female classmate on Instagram who had a private account, according to a lawsuit against the boy and his parents brought by the young woman and her family. (The Manis said they are not involved with the lawsuit.)
After she accepted the request, the male student copied photos of her and several other female schoolmates from their social media accounts, court documents say. Then he used an A.I. app to fabricate sexually explicit, “fully identifiable” images of the girls and shared them with schoolmates via a Snapchat group, court documents say.
Westfield High began to investigate in late October. While administrators quietly took some boys aside to question them, Francesca Mani said, they called her and other 10th-grade girls who had been subjected to the deepfakes to the school office by announcing their names over the school intercom.
That week, Mary Asfendis, the principal of Westfield High, sent an email to parents alerting them to “a situation that resulted in widespread misinformation.” The email went on to describe the deepfakes as a “very serious incident.” It also said that, despite student concern about possible image-sharing, the school believed that “any created images have been deleted and are not being circulated.”
Dorota Mani said Westfield administrators had told her that the district suspended the male student accused of fabricating the images for one or two days.
Soon after, she and her daughter began publicly speaking out about the incident, urging school districts, state lawmakers and Congress to enact laws and policies specifically prohibiting explicit deepfakes.
“We have to start updating our school policy,” Francesca Mani, now 15, said in a recent interview. “Because if the school had A.I. policies, then students like me would have been protected.”
Parents including Dorota Mani also lodged harassment complaints with Westfield High last fall over the explicit images. During the March meeting, however, Ms. Mani told school board members that the high school had yet to provide parents with an official report on the incident.
Westfield Public Schools said it could not comment on any disciplinary actions for reasons of student confidentiality. In a statement, Dr. González, the superintendent, said the district was strengthening its efforts “by educating our students and establishing clear guidelines to ensure that these new technologies are used responsibly.”
Beverly Hills schools have taken a stauncher public stance.
When administrators learned in February that eighth-grade boys at Beverly Vista Middle School had created explicit images of 12- and 13-year-old female classmates, they quickly sent a message — subject line: “Appalling Misuse of Artificial Intelligence” — to all district parents, staff, and middle and high school students. The message urged community members to share information with the school to help ensure that students’ “disturbing and inappropriate” use of A.I. “stops immediately.”
It also warned that the district was prepared to institute severe punishment. “Any student found to be creating, disseminating, or in possession of AI-generated images of this nature will face disciplinary actions,” including a recommendation for expulsion, the message said.
Dr. Bregy, the superintendent, said schools and lawmakers needed to act quickly because the abuse of A.I. was making students feel unsafe in schools.
“You hear a lot about physical safety in schools,” he said. “But what you’re not hearing about is this invasion of students’ personal, emotional safety.”
Natasha Singer writes about technology, business and society. She is currently reporting on the far-reaching ways that tech companies and their tools are reshaping public schools, higher education and job opportunities. More about Natasha Singer
A version of this article appears in print on April 11, 2024, Section B, Page 1 of the New York edition with the headline: Fake A.I. Nudes Create Crisis in Schools. Order Reprints | Today’s Paper | Subscribe
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danmarch 🐉💎
#honkai star rail#dan heng#march 7th#danmarch#fanart#hsr#what else do i tag. i have no idea#anyway. im breaking my VERY LONG oc art streak to post my one(1) contribution to star rail#i care them very much#ive been playing this game so religiously and they have not left my team#tragic past(emo) vs tragic past(girly pop)#theres NO WAY with marchs very teenage girl mind that she does not have a crush on the hot cool mysterious yet caring dragon guy#who stays in the room right next to her#and the fact that he teases her so much........#the whole ass belabog quest he throws in little harmless march roasts every so often#he fucking CARE her#i bets shes like a filipino mom with that camera. every oppertunity (picture!!!!)#and dan heng gets dragged into it#he is honing his photography skills against his will#any nice place? shes like (lemme pose can you get a photo of me?)#dan heng just sighs#they bond over silently judging stelle rummaging through the garbage#cast each other that best friend glance as half her body is sticking out of a trash bin#i like to think you see them hanging out on the train together#with dan heng reading some obscure 8th century book on civilization pattern and development#and march is humming and putting stickers and aesthetic shit in her scrapbook#taping a piece of antimatter legion loot in the middle of a page#and with bubbly handwriting (we beat some bad guys today!!! <333 so fun!!)
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in case you missed it yesterday jarpad threatened to fight someone on Twitter bc they called him a beta
#i dont want to post the screens bc i dont want to start Drama or just b a hater but it's very funny#he also compares the person who called him a beta to a teenage girl as an insult. nice#sorry to new followers this is not a j*red friendly blog#the person also called sam a beta which on one hand Dont drag sam into this but on the other hand. sam wouldnt care
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Since we all seem to be in agreement that the general webtoon fandom (outside of reddit, private servers, and the app) is suspiciously quiet ➡️ send me an ask!! I love love love talking about the series I'm reading and I'm more than happy to geek out with anyone who's willing to share their excitement 🥺
And send asks to each other! Become mutuals, post your opinionated rants, your webtoon rankings, character vs character, the works. Being a webtoon fan doesn't have to be a loner type of deal!
Edit: this isn't time sensitive, btw! I'm more than happy to respond to any webtoon asks, no matter when I get them^^
#specifically these webtoon#space boy#which is very underrated btw I'm not caught up but I've read it twice#odd girl out#webtoon#teenage mercenary#weak hero#cursed princess club#shark girl umi#the little trashmaid#unordinary#tacit#surviving romance#a man's man#my dud to stud boyfriend#who's mr. president#marry my husband#nice to meet you#fictional skin#the remarried empress#your smile is a trap#Jackson's diary#Lumine#and more but yeah I read these PLEASE send asks!!!
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#feel like my relationship with my younger brother is changed completely forever not to be dramatic lol but i am sad#we used to b very close but he has kind of. found his faith again and gone full missionary christian which like. i knew meant the dynamic#was doomed lmao but actually acknowledging it makes me sad i feel like i'm grieving for the friendship we used to have even though#it is literally a me problem i think from his perspective he doesn't think anything has changed. but i feel weird about everything#also his new gf is nineteen and he is. almost 25 and i am the only one who feels weird about it like i know she's over 18 but! idk i can't#tell if i'm being overly cautious or if my gut instinct is right. my sister & her husband have a similar age gap but they met when they wer#both over 30 so like. it didn't feel weird. and i didn't feel comfortable actually seriously talking to him about it apart from the first#time he mentioned her over facetime (he went to another country to do mission stuff & met her there) so like an idiot i've just been#making jokes about the age gap becausee like. thats always been our thing lightly bullying each other lol but he blew up at me and said#i've had nothing positive to say about her since he's been back home and that he thinks i hate her and i'm out of line for constantly#implying he's creepy for dating someone younger. idk i felt like such a freak idiot horrible person about it. it completely blindsided me#bc yes the jokes were coming from a place of idk how i feel about this situation so i'm going to rely on the humour-based communication#we have always fallen back on as a safety thing but i guess i was wrong or the dynamic shifted or something anyway it's all fucked#& everyone is just telling me i feel weird out of some?? misplaced kind of jealousy thing?? because i'm 'losing' my brother to his gf lol#which does not feel right at all he has dated so many other girls and i have never had a problem it is literally the age gap like i haven't#even met this girl i'm sure she's very nice! i just worry about her being nineteen!! jesus. and yes maybe i do feel some resentment around#a brother younger than me who seems to be able to live his life with zero difficulty whilst i'm stuck being this unemployed loser who ruins#literally ever friendship & relationship ive ever had but i think thats ok right like i can't help feeling that. i don't fucking knowwww#am i just projecting all these sad feelings about our friendship dying onto his new relationship or like. am i right to be genuinely#concerned she's six years younger than him and still a fucking teenager!!!!!! i don't know
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What song are they dancing to (wrong answers only)
probably gonna do another one with the perspective of dancing with mateo or another fucker. idk. i just did these two first because they’re just joel and ellie in another timeline.
#very different timeline#but still cute#yknow#gotta love tired middle aged man adopting hyper teenage girl trope#dislyte fanart#dislyte li guang#dislyte#dislyte gaius#dislyte characters#tried rendering for the first time also lmk it it looks nice lol
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i think one of the things that upsets me the most about velma and shaggy's relationship in sdmi--and boy there is a lot--is that not only is her constantly ''correcting'' him for minor, harmless, and usually completely reasonable things with physical and emotional abuse, well. abusive by itself. but so many of the things he does that she treats him that way over are very autistic things, and what she subjects him to is textbook abuse aimed at autistics in particular. (including the part where she gets more and more pissed whenever attempts at said emotional abuse fly over his head, because he's too bad at picking up cues for them to land fully.)
[cws: anti-autistic ableism, ABA, self-harm, physical and emotional IPV, victim-blaming, and abuse apologism. it's a lot and it's really fucking bad lmao]
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like. there's a lot of examples there; shaggy's behavior coming across as autistic is worth a whole post of its own, and a lot of media depicts abuse targeted at autistic traits because ✨️hooray ableism.✨️but she straight up tries to Fix Him (read: force him to perform a Presentable Personality) by forcing him to wear clothes that are sensory hell, and trying to condition him to self-harm every time he does some small harmless, reflexive thing she thinks is Poor Socialization until he stops. and to catch himself doing it, and punish himself, without being prompted. i cannot fucking overstate how fucked up that is.
they even got down the fun little aspect of ABA where the methods of conditioning-through-pain are presented as toys and kiddish things: she gives him a rubber band to wear on his wrist, and tells him to snap it as hard as he can every time he says 'like.' 🙃🙃🙃🙃
like. this does not begin to scratch the surface of the abuse she puts him through in general. and again, characters being abused for autistic traits with the approval of the narrative is a common thing in media, which sucks. but holy fucking shit! they really took the 'violent ableism that is done to autistics irl' to the next fucking level here!
.......and it's portrayed as kind of cringey, immature teen drama on both sides. the self-harm, his dread over how much he knows it'll hurt, and the extreme pain it causes him to the point of screaming are all supposed to be funny. and her arc is all about learning to accept that she deserves better, because she was repressed and had low self-esteem and therefore putting him through fucking DIY ABA didn't make her happy.
🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃
anyway if you couldn't tell i can't fucking stand sdmi velma and i have a lot of words in me about it. when one of your main heroes would have made a way more compelling villain as they are, on a more mundane level compared to all the wild fantastical shit they go up against, holy shit go back to the drawing board you have fucked up. she could have been genuinely good representation of a marginalized person dealing with the trauma of her experiences in some shitty ways she has to grow past, and an interesting flawed character, without being absolutely despicable--hell, she'd have made a great foil to pericles if they'd handled him decently too. they have a lot of parallels, which only gain more depth when you add their respective parallels with cassidy into the mix. and it really fucking sucks that we got this instead.
#sdmi#scooby doo mystery incorporated#velma dinkley#shaggy rogers#SDMItag#cws in post#sdmi velma lies at the intersection of A Lot of Hard Feelings for me; in ways both inherent and personal#so she is viscerally upsetting to me in a lot of ways mostly re: framing; and that makes it difficult to analyze her in a sympathetic light#even though i recognize she is very much a depiction of a hurting; traumatized person lashing out in nasty and interesting ways#but the older i get and the more perspective i gain; and the more i unpack and understand about my own experiences#the more important it feels to me to talk about this stuff#i still want to try writing fic sometime about newniverse velma and how she ends up being a non-abusive; less shitty person#without just *being* a completely different person who's All Nice Sweet Sunshine with No Hard Feelings About What She's Been Through#and about the confusion and grief newniverse marcie goes through when one day her loving girlfriend is gone#and in her place is someone who is so much like her and has clearly been through a lot; but is Different in ways that hurt more and more#that marcie keeps trying to justify and make excuses for; and sits in the pot and slowly boils#until she finally has to face that this isn't the girl she fell in love with; that that girl will never come back; that this is velma now#i'm totally not working through anything here lmao#and a nasty; pretentious; controlling; insecure young adult who's up their own ass about Being Super Intellectual and Telling It Like Is#abusing a teenager to make them stop saying 'like' because it's Annoying and What Stupid People Say and Not Gramatically Correct(tm)(tm)(tm#definitely does not hit dead on some very specific 'hi that scarred me for life and i don't think it's particularly fucking funny' buttons!#anyway. protect shaggy and marcie and daphne while we're at it#SDMIcrit tag#the crit files
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⋆౨ৎ⋆
erm idk wtf is going on but im actually aware of all my emotions so like i need my brain to go back to being unaware of everything and just let me live in ignorance and bliss bc this whole depressive episode is NOT a vibe.
#ive been crying for 4 days straight im NOT having fun#these mood swings arent very sigma#hell is a teenage girl#im just a girl#be nice to me or ill cry#cinnamon girl#female hysteria#girlblogging#girlhood#it girl#girlcore
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nothing makes me feel quite as behind and childish and juvenile as meeting from time to time with my college friends and it's. so embarrassing
#all of them are working in our field and have been for years all of them have very stable life partners most of them are already living on#their own at least two of them are considering getting married soon#and i. still live at my parents' house my only job is anecdotal and very much not what i studied for im still living a student's life i#barely have any money of my own to spend bc my job is little more than a hobby and ive never had a proper romantic relationship like that#idk im very happy with my life rn but it always makes me feel like im struggling to catch up with them and it's exhausting#they all have very Adult™ lives and i still feel like im eighteen some days#my point is that in these last ten years my life hasn't changed much while all of them have gone through their coming of age movie arc and#the embarrassment it comes from still feeling like a teenager girl compared to them is both off the charts and genuinely hurtful#and the thing is that they are so nice and we like each other so much that i don't want to stop having them in my life so i guess I'll have#to continue like this for god knows hwo long#zai.ez
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everyday i am delighted by human connection
#salem talks!#posts inspired by the guy in my math class that i have made it my mission to get to stop being self deprecating. and my dear friend in my#physics class who told me my eyeliner looked nice and my friend holding my hand in whole foods and one of my very good friends who i didnt#like a year ago telling me ‘im so glad we dont hate each other anymore. i like you’ and i said i like him so much too! and a conversation#with my friends where i said i thought we sjouls get drunk and how is that something to be as scared of as i was of it a year ago? no. stuff#can be fun and scary and exciting in a good way and i am getting my heart beating fast more these days from giggling than anxiety attacks.#and also this is inspired by a girl i want to go to prom with but wont ask and eating pizza in my history class this morning with someone im#getting less and less close to. and being a teenager is beautiful and exciting and so scary and its the beginning of spring!!!!!!!#joy tag
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SLFLGJDHFKSGJ HETTY AND NIGEL!!! STOP THAT
#not that Isaac doesn't deserve to be fought over but come on y'all XD#I am hitting you with a paper towel tube#XDD#I love them but sldkgjhdks <3333#also flower and thorfinn :DDDDDD 🥰🥰🥰!!!#they are so adorable :)))#and ayyy promo for next time!!!! isaac's book is getting published :DDD#that's amazing <333#anyway amazing episode lol#and glad sam apologized to jay sincerely about the date issue :)))#that was nice :D#I love them <333#anyway 🥰🥰🥰 I love all my babeys lol#very fun episode to be watching live :D#also trevor wanting pillow talk XD#sir lol#he really is just a teenage girl kicking his legs <33 /hj XD#ghosts#cbs ghosts#ghosts cbs#oasis's ghosts chatter
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rewatching the vampire diaries right now and decided to look up some fanfic and just like see what all was going on out there and dear GOD you guys hate elena so much. what did she do 😭
#she isnt my favourite character i guess#but everything she has done at least so far is reasonable as fuck#considering the CIRCUMSTANCES#and im at s2 right now she is still just a human teenage girl! who was recently orphaned!#and then found out she was adopted! and THEN that her birth parents are the worst!#and her nice new boyfriend is a vampire and now her life is crazy and dangerous and very very scary#and she is just trying her best#elena gilbert#the vampire diaries
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i love your blog because u actually understand and love maría as a character which is very difficult to find!!!!! ppl take every juliet-type character for granted and never take the time to actually analyse and try to understand her
MARIA DEFENSE SQUAD RISE!!!!!
#this is very nice tho thank u#people just don’t have empathy towards teenage girl characters is my take#ask
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Why are British teenage girls so unhappy? Here’s the answer (Caitlin Moran, The Times, Sep 13 2024)
"The report, by the Children’s Society, found that British 15-year-old girls are the most unhappy in Europe.
British girls aged 10-15 are “significantly less happy” with their life, appearance, family and school than the average boy — and their happiness is still declining.
Boys’ life satisfaction, meanwhile, remains broadly stable. (…)
But I still didn’t have an “aha!” moment about why this so disproportionately affects girls until… I talked to some teenage girls.
It was at a party, and I went to vape with them on the patio. Because I take my nicotine like children do.
“Duh — it’s the boys,” one said when I brought it up, as all the others agreed.
“The boys?” I asked.
My last book, What About Men?, had been all about how much boys struggle these days: their loneliness; their suicide rates. I’d spent the past year feeling very sympathetic towards boys.
“Yeah, well, who do you think they’re taking out their unhappiness on? It’s us,” another girl said.
“One boy at school used to draw a picture every day of how ugly I was,” a third girl said. “Every day for two years.”
“They’ve all got ‘Rate The Girls’ polls on their WhatsApps,” the first said. “They mark you down for weight gain, haircuts, what you say.”
“But then, if you’re hot, it’s just as bad, in a different way, because they’ll be talking about how they want to f*** you.”
The girls discussed coping techniques. Bad news: none of them worked.
“The only way you can stop them is if you become ‘one of the boys’ and hang out with them. But then,” the second girl said with a sigh, “all the other girls call you a slut. Because you’ve gone over to the boys’ side.”
“Surely it’s not all the boys?” I said. “There must be some nice boys?”
“Oh, yeah,” one girl said. “But they keep their heads down. Because… well, look.”
She showed me the Instagram account of her friend. Under every picture she posted of herself — smiling in a new dress; with her dog — dozens of anonymous accounts had replied with the most rank abuse.
“Fat.” “Slut.” “You gonna try and kill yourself again, for attention?”
“They’re all boys from her school,” she said. “And look, this one boy tried to defend her.”
I saw a series of messages from a brave teenage boy, posting things like, “You’re all big men, leaving these replies under anonymous accounts.”
As I could see, this boy immediately became a target too. Mainly accusations that he was “white knighting” this girl: “You wanna f*** her, bro?”
“So,” I asked, “you don’t think it’s social media pressure to be beautiful, or the economy, that’s making girls so sad?”
“Well, yeah, them too,” the first girl said. “But, Monday-Friday, 9-3, I’m not on social media. I’m not… in the economy. I’m just with these boys. And no one talks about how horrible they are.”
I thought about another recent report, showing a 30 per cent ideological gap between Gen Z men, who are increasingly conservative, and Gen Z women, who are increasingly progressive.
I thought about Andrew Tate, who has nine million mostly young male followers — and faces human trafficking charges, which he denies.
And I thought: maybe these girls are on to something. Maybe more people need to vape with teenage girls and ask them for the school gossip."
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A plea to teens, because it seems like some of you aren’t getting this message anywhere else:
If you are a teen, and you develop a crush on an adult in your life (a teacher or other educator, a coach, etc.), please know that this is a completely normal - maybe even common - experience! But I cannot emphasize enough:
Do not inform that adult of your feelings. Do not confess your love, or flirt with them, even if you just graduated school and turned 18, whether they are single or not.
There are two possibilities in a situation like this:
that they are a good and kind person and your actions may put them in real danger of losing their job and/or ruining their reputation and/or facing legal trouble regardless of your intentions, and at best you put them in the position of having to ask you to stop and potentially lose a positive adult figure in your life; or
(The much less likely, but still possible scenario) that they *were* actually grooming you and you are putting yourself at tremendous risk of harm.
I don’t pretend to anticipate every possible situation. I know at least one happy couple that met when one of them was a student and the other was a teacher, who now have a lovely family together. But - and this is key - they did not get together immediately after the younger party left school!
Again, your crush is normal and fine. But instead of treating it like a viable potential relationship, use it to better understand what kind of person you want to date. If you put a few years behind you, gain some life experience as an adult and try some dating in between, and the adult you crushed on is still single, then what you do is in your own hands. But don’t put yourself or them in a potentially terrible situation by approaching them now.
#sorry for the rant#but my husband (age 32) has had more than one teenage girl process her love for him#one still a student and another just graduated#and it’s because he is a nice person! a kind and supportive adult! I can’t blame people for falling in love with him when I did so myself#but he has to navigate a very difficult situation now. he informed his principal to make sure his actions are all aboveboard#and has to try to gently explain to the girl that she’s making him uncomfortable and crossing a line she shouldn’t#while trying not to shut her off from a positive and stable relationship he knows she needs
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I am too socially inept to deal with all the weird people my dad has collected over the years
#Like no my dad is not here right now because come back when he is#The old people who seem like they did too many drugs in the 70s/80s are more annoying#But like he'll set up a precedent of buying shit from homeless guys because “maybe they'll have something good someday”#And he'll just give them money which is all well and good (if I ever donate money to anything or give change to anyone I've been scammed)#But then he expects me (5'1 teenage girl looking ass) to refuse to give them money when he cuts them off#Like he is 65+ and over 6 feet tall I AM NOT#And like telling people who are seemingly unstable that you can't give them money and that no only the owner buys things and no you can't#Leave a pile of junk for him to look at later and no I can't give you any money over and over is fucking scary!#I am for sure speaking from a place of privilege because I would probably just be dead if not for my support network#I could very easily be on the other side of this I'm not fucking stable I can't hold down a real job#But I am just not equipped to be having these interactions and honestly I shouldn't be having them anyway#He keeps pretty regular hours and answers his phone so I don't understand why people are always looking for him when I'm here#I will say the homeless guys he buys from have gotten a lot better about coming in when he's actually here#And one of them Chris is perfectly nice he's a great artist but he also smells bad and is visiblely dirty sometimes and that sets off my ocd#and also makes me feel like a really shitty person for 'judging' him when I know that he doesn't have stable access to a shower#When I'm actually just suffering from my mental illness and that can also trigger the intrusive thought side of the ocd#Where I get stuck in a loop of thinking I'm a terrible person#And also I just feel bad not giving him money#And like we sell his art in the store but people rarely buy it which is annoying because it's pretty fucking sick
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