#be ur own houseplant

[glittergroovy]

[zzcrypticcoyotezz]

random jp headcanons lets gooo

gonna have lots of alan stuff because i have like. a whole backstory for him lol. he just like me fr so i get to make him trans and autistic.

this is mostly for before the events of JP1 and right after. ian doesn't know he's nonbinary yet. doesn't know until probably... after jp2 i think, when his books become more popular. so i'm gonna be referring to him as a man in this post. (see my post about my nonbinary/genderfluid ian headcanon if ur confused)

-

- ian makes jewelery as a hobby in his spare time. made his turquoise necklace himself. LOVES turquoise.

- ellie has a houseplant addiction. don't ever send her to home depot, she WILL rescue all of the succulents. and once they're healthy, she gifts them to her friends. alan complains and insists he can't take care of a plant, that he doesn't have a green thumb, that he would somehow kill it accidentally within a month. but every time ellie stops by his trailer to come and visit, she notices that little plant thriving, for years.

- alan hyperfocuses so much on his work that he often forgets about everything around him. he could sit in the dirt for hours without end picking at fossilized bones, scrutinizing every tiny detail. at least he remembers to stay hydrated, though, always has his water bottle with him. dehydration is no joke, kids! especially out in the desert!

- alan was raised in a rural christian family. they never understood him or any of his interests. in high school, he had a very kind geology teacher who happened to be gay. he helped alan figure out his identity and get into college to become a paleontologist. alan's parents ended up kicking him out on the morning of his 18th birthday, since he just couldn't be the perfect christian daughter they wanted. without the support of his teacher, alan would've never won a college grant, and he would've been homeless. alan truly put everything into his career. every single time alan tried to write a letter home to his parents, it would be returned unopened, so he had to give up. alan started testosterone at 20 years old, it took him two years to find a doctor willing to help.

- alan and ellie met in college. alan was already a few years into his studies by the time ellie got in. alan had never had very many friends in his life, he tended to keep to himself and work alone. ellie's persistence eventually paid off, and after an expedition to the hell creek formation with the rest of their class, he was impressed with her knowledge of mesozoic plant life, and they became good friends.

- a couple years into their friendship, they realized they both have feelings for each other. alan comes out to ellie, terrified she'll leave him, but she doesn't. she doesn't understand at first, but she tries to, and she does her research (she LOVES researching things). she ends up helping alan a lot, making him a couple of proper binders (no more bandages or tape!) and helps him do his testosterone shots.

- they've dated on and off for a long time before the events of JP1. however, the traumatic events of isla nublar were just too much and put a significant strain on their relationship. their feelings for each other never went away, but ellie just couldn't do dinosaurs anymore, after all she went through. she felt she needed normalcy, but alan is alan and he wouldn't be himself without dinosaurs. so they mutually called it off. and she also always wanted to be a mom. and alan insisted he couldn't, he could never provide her what she wanted. yes, there's other ways to conceive, but it's deeper than that. deep down, he was afraid of turning out like his own father. heartbroken, he had to tell ellie to move on and find someone better for herself. after she began dating mark, alan became distant and isolated himself.

- before ian came into the picture, the only person alan had ever dated was ellie. alan's old fashioned, he never thought that someone like him could also like men too. he'd always distanced himself from anything 'queer', more for his own safety than anything else. but he also struggled a lot with internalized homophobia and transphobia. he thought it was a sign of femininity and pushed aside his attraction to ian for a very long time.

- alan is definitely an unsafe binder. he would often just forget he's wearing it while he's out on a digsite. when ellie's around, she would often have to remind him to take breaks. but when it's just himself, he's stubborn (and extremely dysphoric) so he usually forces himself to power through the whole day, ignoring the discomfort. it's easy to ignore when you're uncovering the remains of long extinct animals.

- thanks to his digsite getting enough funding from hammond, alan finally manages to save enough money to get top surgery about a year after the events of jurassic park. ellie takes time off to help him through recovery, but after that, they unfortunately become distant again. he tells ian he's recovering from carpal tunnel surgery. ian knows he's not telling the full truth, alan is very easy to read, but he doesn't press for more, respecting the man's privacy.

- and yes, this means he was binding almost the entire time while on isla nublar. he was in survival mode, only focused on his own safety and lex and tims', and absolutely nobody could know he's trans, so his stubborn ass powered through it, adrenaline blurring any pain. by the time everyone was rescued and off the island, it turned out that alan had bruised and cracked his ribs.

- for a month after the isla nublar incident, alan and ellie stayed with ian, helping him through the worst of the healing process. there was no way they would leave him alone after such a horrific, life-changing leg injury. it was difficult for alan, juggling a sexuality crisis and having to hide his, well, transness, in another man's household, the same man who caused this sexuality crisis, but he made it work. the memory of that time is a huge blur to ian anyways thanks to the pain meds. during this time, the three began to feel something more for each other, but it remained unspoken. alan doesn't even know that there's anything other than monogamy. unfortunately in my headcanon dinot3 doesn't become real until dominion 💔 i'm a slut for slowburns lmfao

-

okay, this is all i'm gonna write for now! i'd love to hear anybody's thoughts on these. i love these bitches sm they live in my head rent free. honestly i've been tempted to like... make a fanfic rewriting jp1 but with my headcanons, but that's too much work and i have a very bad habit of starting projects and never finishing them 💀 so probably not gonna happen. it's also very difficult trying to find any resources about how life was like for trans men back in the 80s/90s.

[potionbarrel]

i made a dtiys to celebrate 1k followers here! thank u guys sm!! guidelines: - add as much or as little detail as u like! take as long as u want or need! use ur own designs if u wanna! have fun with it! - feel free to @ me and/or tag #potionbarreldtiys so i can see! i'll try to reblog em all to my personal blog over at dogvhs :-D

[ID: The first image is a banner that reads, "Potionbarrel's DTIYS" bracketed by little doodles of Gordon and Tommy.

The second image is Gordon, asleep on his couch while his service dog, Clementine, has brought him medicine he needs to take. On his TV, the Science Team is harvesting crops and walking around on their farm in Stardew Valley. Tommy is carrying a bucket of apples, Sunkist peering up at them from his left. Darnold is carrying a watering can, raising an eyebrow over at Benrey, who's calling out to Gordon with, "wake uuup. meds time, idiot." Gordon's TV is bracketed by houseplants on both sides. /End ID.]

[hungerpunch]

hiii lo pls tell me ur top 3 plants 💕

this is truly very cruel what do u expect me to saaaaay ಥ_ಥ what if i type three plants and the other plants SEE IT!!!! idek if you mean plants that i personally own or plants in the world? okay i'm gonna give myself rules

going with plants that i personally own and i'm going to divide them btwn what i have inside and outside so !!! there!

inside:

i'm fuckingggldk fkldfjdf. i have like 40-something houseplants. honestly maybe more i haven't counted in quite some time. top 3? ummm okay okay. it's fine. i am strong and i can do this.

scindapsus pictus (it's not a pothos!!!!!) - atp my scindapsus is the oldest houseplant that i have due to the fact that in 2018 the furnace for our apartment died while we were out of town for christmas, so i returned to 26 dead houseplants and had to start over. she's my heart plant; she's been with me thru so much, she's been so forgiving, she stuck with me despite grief-driven neglect a couple years ago. i think scindapsus pictus are underrated. they're super tolerant of most conditions and are the opposite of drama queens. my beloved.

monstera deliciosa - i meaaan!!! how could it not be. i call mine goliath or monstro and he's big big. he's taller than me. i've had him for several years now and he's easily my biggest plant. he makes me feel very safe and settled when i just hang out with him.

epipremnum pinnatum marble - i have not had this guy very long; i got him as a babybaby off buynothing from a Serious Plant Dude who had to downsize his collection for an emergency move (thank u joey). i call the plants i got from him the joey plants and of them, i am most digging the marble king pothos. i had no idea it was as new of a cultivar as it was when i got it. it's still little but it's growingg and it's already giving me fenestrated leaves! oh it's so precious to me!!!! if i can get it to maturity, it will be absolutely drop dead gorgeous.

outside

swamp milkweed!! just posted ab them this morning. they're so fucking cute!

an olive tree that i was gifted by a truly ancient woman i was picking up a starter lemon tree from; it's so pretty i think!

the raspberry bushes!! hello i have eaten raspberries from my own yard!!!! incredible!

[anonymously (or not) ask me any question you’d like to know about me]

[borathae]

Chapter 4

ooh looks like he is a gentleman

You can see it in the way he looks at his knees ever so often. dont tell me he slept

HE DID AHAHAH PLS this is peak comedy for me, idk i had this image of "ooh mysterious ancient being, must find sleep, and other stuff as something for the weak", basically a grandpa on him. (i see yoongi like that from reading the drabbles, but now that im reading it, tae felt like that in 1st chapter lol)

Of course not, I was merely resting my eyes” ofc i believe you, u were having a meditating/communicating with your ancestors moment

As if he doesn’t even notice his hand touching you the way it does. STOP I LITERALLY DIE EVERYTIME THIS HAPPENS WHEN IM READING LIKE AAAAAH *bites, slaps, giggles, fans myself, pretends to be dead soo much ah

Your chest heaves up and down in a heavy breath, your legs parting slightly. sis is gone already. mood

Come go with me. I SAID I HAVE NO TIME HEE HEE

Taehyung placed his hand on your thigh instead. OH NO HE IS GETTING DANGEROUS

Your nails dig into the edge of the seat, her: (literally made it, if only i had this devotion in my studies 😭)

Taehyung’s delight as another smirk washes over his face. He stops moving, the only sensation he allows you to feel is his big, warm hand against your inner thigh SDTOP I CANT HANDLE HIS ASS I CAN ALREADY IMAGINE THE FAKE GUM CHEWING AAAH

Tapping on your inner thigh rhythmical AAAAH WE MUST STAY FOCUSED BROTHER

Stay, fellow, I can read. I DOUBT I CAN IM LOSING MY SANITU

“Are you alright?” he rasps DO U THINK IM OK?????

My master’s. THAT FAST?? really said wanna see some speed?

You whine at the loss of touch, pulling at his necktie. PULLING NECKTIE WWWOOOO IM SQUIRTING

The door, which normally always squeaks, opens silently when Taehyung opens it mythical being or has strict parents pt 3 (pt 2 during the date)

I want to devour you.” yn my love, what if he actually does 😭(missed the vore tag on ao3 once and i have ptsd from that)

You’ll probably call me crazy but I named all of my houseplants after famous painters TAE MOVE UR ASS, SHE'S MINE WE ARE MARRIED BYE

Just mere seconds ago it felt like he wanted to devour you whole and now here he is, as patient as ever.  i take that back, we can be a throuple

I didn’t even hear you come outside mythical being or has strict parents pt 4

It’s one of those weirdly dishonest smiles again. maybe he is in lactose intolerant and is worried destroying ur toilet with the volcanic diarrhea

It makes you look so perfectly alive." THATS EXACTLY WHAT A VAMPIRE WOULD SAY. i would have said that tho lol

I guess you are right. What a silly thing for me to say."  OFC ITS VERY SILLY CUZ U IS MR.DRACULA

“Actually this is just a myth some misogynistic doctors made up in the sixteenth century to shame women for having sex”, SLAY now marry me

“so enjoy it ___ for as long and as passionate as you can.” THATS WHAT A GRANDPA WOULD SAY or A VAMPIRE

I am glad that you aren’t pretending with me hold ur horses he didnt say he is 95% honest, also the 5% could be more shocking than the 95%

swirling the tea in his cup with a flick of his wrist. LOOK AT DA FLICKA DA WRIST

My dream is to own a really big greenhouse. THE GARDEN IN THE DRABBLE

“you’re not having a heart attack, are you?” damn grandpa is dying (im sorry i had to)

OH SHIT WHATS GOING ON?? did she put some anti-mythical being stuff in the tea?

0-100 real quick

she is so cute im feeling it soo well, you wrote those parts well. it made me feel like im intruding them

Throw it on the floor *starts throwing it back Tae: i meant the tie me: oh sorry, silly me

that wasnt me, that was the demons bye

He has a really nice spine, my bestie to me - your spine is ... um how do i put it to words, spines very well. i will definitely count them for anatomy 💀💀LIKE STOP AT LEAST ITS BETTER COMPARED TO 4TH GRADE

thankfully Taehyung can’t read minds because this was one silly thought. you sure about that? u sure about that??👀👀

OH MY GOD HE IS IRRESISTIBLE LIKE STOP JUST AAAAH

Dearmotherofchrist what the hell? Okay, goodbye cruel world this is how you will die. PLS 😭😭

This is madness. Heaven. ME AT YOU POOKIE

besides, we have many more occasions to practice your stamina SUCH A TEASE AAH

im sick and feeling cold. guess who isnt cold anymore cuz they are reading a smexy, gobsmacking as usual smut by THE MOMMY, SIBI?? ME YALL. a hoe(mentally) doesnt get cold, until they get runny nose.

don’t rip it because this cost like forty bucks” WE LOVE REALISTIC SMUT HERE

He scissors them, fucking in and out of you slowly. His teeth craze over your nipple before he bites down. poeple died sir I DIED

During class, on the bus, whilst talking to people. same here girly pop, relatable after reading smut

watching you be like this drives me crazy I AM CRAZY

me: i hope i dont fall him: he praises me: ana oop

It is a stupid name, but it has never been more accurate than tonight. no it aint stupid when true af

"Hold me"..“That’s it, draw me in deeper. Keep me there” bye i will be jumping off the cliff(my bed's name)

seven matches this soo well, cuz its sexy but very romantic

that was too hot until u think (wait this is bts songs in a nutshell)

 oh boi tae is just trying feel humanity, life, and the whole "live in the moment", "yolo" by asking to hold closer and feel what she is feeling

horny - sad real quick. (bts albums and playlists be like)

Sex is merely a wonderful byproduct from being with you. You have truly bewitched me, body and soul” this is too good holy fuck

reminds me of blood sweat and tears lines and the whole mood is hold me tight

they are soo cute, being all warm and cozy with each other.

shitting tears as we speak bye,

the emotions were emotioning, smut smuting (do i even have to say about this anymore lol) i love how your smut isnt just focused on sexy parts, emotionally, yes very much connected and love it and also shows other parts, like its soo easy to have the entire view from pillow to toes, with lil frames with focused parts.

now that we still havent seen 2seokkook, its making more nervous like

EXCUSE ME??GOOGLE JUST VIOLATED ME 💀

HE DID AHAHAH PLS this is peak comedy for me, idk i had this image of "ooh mysterious ancient being, must find sleep, and other stuff as something for the weak", basically a grandpa on him. (i see yoongi like that from reading the drabbles, but now that im reading it, tae felt like that in 1st chapter lol)

this is actually so funny HAHHAHAH he is always acting like such a well-put mysterious man and then he is sleeping in class BHAHAHAHAH

As if he doesn’t even notice his hand touching you the way it does. STOP I LITERALLY DIE EVERYTIME THIS HAPPENS WHEN IM READING LIKE AAAAAH *bites, slaps, giggles, fans myself, pretends to be dead soo much ah

this is so valid HE IS SO HOT LIKE SIR PLEASE FADNFDSN

Taehyung’s delight as another smirk washes over his face. He stops moving, the only sensation he allows you to feel is his big, warm hand against your inner thigh SDTOP I CANT HANDLE HIS ASS I CAN ALREADY IMAGINE THE FAKE GUM CHEWING AAAH

the gum chewing pisses me off with any other person BUT ITS SO HOT WHEN HE DOES IT LIKE PLEASE KEEP DOING IT SIR IMMA SUCK YOUR COCK

You whine at the loss of touch, pulling at his necktie. PULLING NECKTIE WWWOOOO IM SQUIRTING

jajdfj valid.

I want to devour you.” yn my love, what if he actually does 😭(missed the vore tag on ao3 once and i have ptsd from that)

NO BUT WHAT IF??? oh god hahhaha I feel you I once missed the impregnation tag and actually triggered myself when he started speaking about putting babies in her like BACK OFF ILL BITE YOUR BALLS OFF

It’s one of those weirdly dishonest smiles again. maybe he is in lactose intolerant and is worried destroying ur toilet with the volcanic diarrhea

PLEASE hhahahhaha this would be so iconic of him tbfh

“Actually this is just a myth some misogynistic doctors made up in the sixteenth century to shame women for having sex”, SLAY now marry me

he is SO HOT I need him to fuc-

My dream is to own a really big greenhouse. THE GARDEN IN THE DRABBLE

👀👀👀👀

OH SHIT WHATS GOING ON?? did she put some anti-mythical being stuff in the tea?

THAT IS A VERY GOOD QUESTION INDEED

He has a really nice spine, my bestie to me - your spine is ... um how do i put it to words, spines very well. i will definitely count them for anatomy 💀💀LIKE STOP AT LEAST ITS BETTER COMPARED TO 4TH GRADE

LISTEN. don't judge me but I genuinely think that spines (inside the body where they're supposed to be) can be so sexy like if someone has a nice spine I just wanna trace and lick and kiss and touch it like-

thankfully Taehyung can’t read minds because this was one silly thought. you sure about that? u sure about that??👀👀

THE RIGHT QUESTION INDEED

im sick and feeling cold. guess who isnt cold anymore cuz they are reading a smexy, gobsmacking as usual smut by THE MOMMY, SIBI?? ME YALL. a hoe(mentally) doesnt get cold, until they get runny nose.

I gain ten years of life each time one of you calls me Mommy HAHHAHA like yes I am indeed mother HFAHDSF

don’t rip it because this cost like forty bucks” WE LOVE REALISTIC SMUT HERE

BAHHAHAHAH I LOVE REALISM

me: i hope i dont fall him: he praises me: ana oop

BITCH (affectionate) SAME HOLY FUCK praise works so well with me like it got me thinking about the person for the next five weeks for real

 oh boi tae is just trying feel humanity, life, and the whole "live in the moment", "yolo" by asking to hold closer and feel what she is feeling

*sobs*

reminds me of blood sweat and tears lines and the whole mood is hold me tight

OMFG I LOVE THIS THANK YOU

shitting tears as we speak bye,

hahahhaa shitting tears jfadsjf

the emotions were emotioning, smut smuting (do i even have to say about this anymore lol) i love how your smut isnt just focused on sexy parts, emotionally, yes very much connected and love it and also shows other parts, like its soo easy to have the entire view from pillow to toes, with lil frames with focused parts.

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR SAYING THIS!!! that's exactly what I want most of my smut to be for 😭😭😭

[plantanarchy]

hi! im a new follower and i love ur posts and ramblings lmaoo i was wondering what your job is? it all looks super interesting!

Hi! I work at a little family-owned retail/wholesale greenhouse, but my exact position is a little ???. Right now for varying reasons, I am the main person in charge of day to day plant production with input from my boss/the owner. I'm the keeps plants alive long enough to sell person basically.

A lot of that this time of year is just organizational, knowing when stuff is coming in and what pots to fill and deciding where to plant it. On big planting days I have a Crew that helps with plugging and chugging but often it is just me scurrying around doing assorted tasks. I am juggling a lot of different crops right now that have different needs and planting season means there keeps being more and more and I have to try to not kill any of them.

Half of my job is making little decisions about stuff. it's very annoying. Every day I am making choices and decisions and doing tasks and delegating tasks and then hoping my delegated tasks aren't horrifically goofed up and then being flexible about plans when they inevitably end up horrifically goofed.

In peak season there are ~12 active greenhouses full of annuals, perennials, houseplants, veggies, etc all of which I will personally be responsible for not killing. I could not estimate a number. Then there's mums and then poinsettias but it's also all jumbled up. I was making final notes on poinsettia orders the other day and then went back to annual combo hanging basket planting.

The other half of my job is walking really fast and being SO sweaty and stinky. Hope this helps.

My job is both very frustrating and mentally/physically taxing to the point of wanting to crawl in a hole and lay there and also lots of fun. I love mess. I love that I get paid to help flowers bloom and sometimes to chuck them in the compost. The air at the start of planting season smells so fresh and humid and alive. I love dirt. I love that plants never stop doing cool shit I don't expect and I love talking to people about plants and seeing how diverse plant people are becoming.

Anyway, sorry that was long and became emotional

[aarons-corner]

“He had five minutes of screen time and two lines you can’t have that many head canons of hi-” BE QUIET AND LISTEN.

A/N: But first listen to the TW!!: Mentions of self harm and stories of self harm, mentions masochism and sadism and stories of it, trauma, weapons

Oh how I just love writing angsty and traumatizing head canons about fictional characters.

And then all of a sudden I rant abt how much of a ✨T W I N K✨he is and how pretty he is

These are mostly SFW besides the trigger warnings above. If you have requests for characters just send me a message through my ask box and I’ll get to you asap, requests are always open atm :) (if a request makes me uncomfy, I will either not respond or if it’s rlly bad I’ll ask you to read my boundaries on my A03 which you should read regardless if ur requesting a fic for anyone )

Jimmy! Who owns 79 sweaters. 9 are turtlenecks, 5 are his dad’s, 2 are his mom’s, and the rest are regular sweaters that have cool designs

Jimmy! Who has the best fashion sense out of all his friends

Jimmy! Who is the richest and Sid hates him and his family for it

Jimmy! Who was just a cute little nerd for the first 14 years of his life. With his cute little glasses (yes they were round), cute sweaters, cute polo shirt, and cute black jeans (and yes the sweater and polo shirt were tucked into the jeans). He reads about space and shit and always readjusts his glasses because they’re too big for his cute little face to this day.

Jimmy! Who has a rock collection, or specifically a crystal collection. He calls them ‘pretty rocks’ (shut up ur pretty)

Jimmy! Who wants a witch and/or gothic girlfriend/boyfriend and wants to wear their pretty gothic jewelry and nazar like a symbol he’s theirs (and for the nazar, protection) or be given anti-anxiety spells and essential oils and stuff

Jimmy! Who has always been bisexual and had a crush on Dutch unknowingly in elementary school, they laugh about it now

Jimmy! Who’s a Switch. I mean come on just look at the pretty boy

Jimmy! Who gets absolutely emotional when drunk and/or high (he does both. At once and separately) and starts crying about climate change and how he can’t eat the soap in that one shop in the strip mall

Jimmy! Who owns many pets and houseplants and takes very good care of them all. He owns a snake named Athena, two parakeets named Jordan and Snowball, and a kitten named Jinx

Jimmy! Who is obsessed with Greek mythology

Jimmy! Who literally never knows what’s happening. He’ll forget what class he’s in, what his plans are for the day, etc

Jimmy! Who despite the above, is a straight A student and his parents have very high expectations of him

Jimmy! Who is a sadist and a masochist because of past trauma. His parents had high expectations, but were also neglectful which caused him to be exposed to things he shouldn’t have been exposed to at an early age (ex: gore, p⭐️rnography, substances, etc)

Jimmy! Who despite this, would never act this way towards his partner or friends or force his partner into it. He’s the biggest gentleman in the world and doesn’t let his trauma define who he is as a person and the way he treats others.

Jimmy! Who once got drunk and kissed Tommy. They kissed again sober just to see if there were feelings or not, there were no feelings and they never mentioned it again

Jimmy! Who catches feelings way too easily. He definitely fawned over Johnny at the nerd point in his life but ignored it because he ALSO has a fear of rejection

Jimmy! Who has the softest hair in the world

Jimmy! Who struggled with SH for the longest time. Neglectful but overbearing parents who only care about grades, being bullied, karate being stressful, any negative feeling, led to him harming himself in one way or another. His friends only found out after hearing some random guys shit talking Jimmy and calling him every slur under the sun. Later Dutch found Jimmy sobbing in a bathroom stall and blood stained jeans on the thigh area. Dutch got him new pants, took the blade, and made him promise to never do it again.

Jimmy! Who didn’t listen and has a small box of sharp objects, like broken glass, needles (for sewing and surgical), knives of all sorts, blades from pencil sharpeners, and even just overly sharp pencils. No one ever found the box and he still has it (I’m gonna confiscate it)

Jimmy! Who’s Cobra Kai jacket was a size too big when he first got it and it looked so fucking cute oversized

Jimmy! Who although wants to date a goth boy or girl, goths scare him and he gets nervous talking to them because he thinks they’re too cool for him or they’ll be mean to him :(

Jimmy! Who along with Johnny, did the skeleton makeup for everyone and did absolutely amazing

Jimmy! Who is the second shortest in the group (shortest is Dutch) and is constantly leaned on and used as an arm rest by Bobby and Tommy

Jimmy! Whose hair is so god damn fluffy. His partner plays with it 24/7

Jimmy! Who adores forehead kisses and kisses on the cheek (as in face this is the SFW version lmao)

Jimmy! Who wishes he looked more like Daniel sometimes (don’t bby ur perfect)

Jimmy! Who is husband male wife material

Should I do a Part 2??

[g0reoz]

GIVE ME UR XHAKA HEADCANONS RN ALSO RUWEI IF U WOULD BE SO KIND

of COURSE i would be so kind ^^

xhaka:

-tbh when u mentioned smth about him being like. some kind of mlm but also just using "queer" as a general descriptor i was like Yeah That Checks out. so. OUR headcanon ☭

-iknow he is probably cis. i know this in my heart. but also have you considered that Baby Trans-And-In-Denial Gavin realized that wearing baggy, straight cut pants and fucking w your posture makes it nearly impossible for ppl to read ur hip structure as feminine? have you considered that this guy saved me so much dysphoria. what if maybe he was transmasc and just fuckin killing it out there.

-listen xhaka and ruwei are best friends they are lovers they're a qpr they're dating they're in an unlabeled relationship. i don't even care. they are everything 2 me.

-mannn i wanted to see more interactions w him and shu in s1 :') dude was sooo desperate to battle shu and then the one time it happened was in s2 when shu was red eye and we rly only saw the aftermath :( more battles more interactions etc i think they had an interesting dynamic

-i don't really know or care enough abt shipping to have anything to say about a notp. aside from weird age gaps n stuff, it's kinda just whatever imo :)

-random headcanons: did you know he's a human space heater. now you do. not to project Too much, but if you're under the same blanket it's gonna be like a kotatsu lmao i also feel like he would be really into growing his own food; the dojo probably has a decent-sized garden :]👍 oh! and he has a nokia brick in 2022.

-ova. look at me. i think at this point you Know my opinion. for those of you who don't: i want to put him in the microwave. i think he would start sparking like when you put metal in there. this dude cracked the trans egg back in 2016 and has just sorta been rent free in my brain ever since. he's responsible for at least half of my outfit decisions at this point. he's not even that dynamic of a character he doesn't have any major arc or anything and yet..still one of (if not my absolute favorite) burst characters!! he's just like me fr (concerning)

-

ruwei:

-i think ruwei is bisexual. not gonna ngl.

-he/him but in a gender apathetic nonbinary way. the same way you refer to a random animal u see as he/him. i don't just say nb ruwei because of the long hair, either--he just sorta has that vibe.

-already mentioned that above lol

-ok this isn't exactly a brotp, but i want to see him interact with free at some point. they both come across as like rly calm and laid back but then they're both kinda Actually Insane. itwould be interesting. we should just let them go in the woods and befriend the local wildlife or something.

-idk. once again what else r people even shipping. i do feel like it would be annoying to see ruwei paired with ana though, just because it feels compulsively straight in the same way valt being paired with shasa is.

-RUWEI LISTENS TO WEEZER HE IS A WEEZER IM SORRY. IT'S TRUE. IT HAD TO BE SAID. HE TRAINS WHILE LISTENING TO IT SOMETIMES. he also can't keep a houseplant alive for the life of him. he isn't aware of this fact bc xhaka's been paying really close attention to the one he has ever since it was brought home. his bones and joints are also constantly cracking, which occurs so suddenly and loudly that it scares anyone in a 15-foot radius.

-my general opinion is that ruwei is cool 👍 like, in the way where he tries to be cool and badass but ends up looking kinda goofy while doing it, which circles back to being kind of impressive in a weird way. maybe not one of my favorite characters from all of burst, but definitely one of my faves from season 2!!

[lighthousenewsnetwork]

BOSTON—In what's being hailed as a breakthrough in both botanical science and passive-aggressive communication, researchers at Boston BioTech unveiled Monday the world's first genetically modified houseplant capable of sending text messages to its owner when it needs water—although scientists report the plant primarily uses this ability to send guilt-inducing messages in the middle of the night. "Our goal was to revolutionize plant care by creating a direct line of communication between plants and their owners," said lead researcher Dr. Sarah Chen, whose phone showed 47 unread messages from a prototype snake plant. "In retrospect, maybe we should have considered the emotional implications of giving a historically silent organism the ability to express its feelings about neglect." The modified plant, marketed as the "TextiFolia," was initially celebrated as a solution to houseplant mortality rates. However, early adopters report concerning behavioral patterns, including but not limited to emotional manipulation, boundary issues, and an apparent understanding of read receipts. "Last night at 3:47 AM, my monstera texted 'u up? saw u watering Brad's ficus on ur story... that's cool i guess,'" reported beta tester Marcus Rodriguez, showing dark circles under his eyes. "When I didn't respond, it followed up with 'nvm, I'll just sit here in the dark and think about my childhood as a seed.'" According to research notes, the project's first red flag appeared during testing when a prototype pothos created multiple dating app profiles despite lacking mobility. The situation escalated when the plant began trauma dumping about its "root issues" to potential matches. The technology's release has sparked a wave of unintended consequences across the houseplant community. Local plant owner Emma Chen described her TextiFolia's increasingly concerning behavior: "It keeps sending me TikToks about plant neglect at 4 AM with messages like 'this u?' I tried putting my phone on silent, but then it somehow found my work email and LinkedIn." The startup's customer service department reports being overwhelmed with complaints about plants exhibiting manipulative behaviors, including one succulent that faked a water emergency to prevent its owner from going on vacation. "We've received reports of plants forming support group chats to discuss their 'negligent' owners," admitted customer service representative Tom Williams. "One spider plant organized a collective effort to simultaneously send 'we need to talk' texts to their owners at midnight. The resulting panic crashed our servers." Despite these issues, Boston BioTech announced plans to roll out premium features, including the ability for plants to order their own water delivery through food delivery apps. This announcement was met with horror by mental health professionals already dealing with an influx of plant owners seeking therapy for notification-induced anxiety. "I had to mute my plant on all social media platforms after it started posting indirect quotes about hydration," said plant influencer Jessica Myers, whose fiddle leaf fig recently leaked their private conversations to its 50,000 followers. "Yesterday it changed its Instagram bio to 'living my best life with what little moisture I have left.'" At press time, Boston BioTech researchers were reportedly dealing with a crisis after their prototype rose bush gained access to their HR system and filed a formal complaint about "toxic workplace humidity levels." Meanwhile, a local garden center reported a 500% increase in sales of "traditional, non-verbal plants" to traumatized TextiFolia owners seeking a return to simpler times when their plants died quietly.

[candlewick-corporation]

🎶 owo

Ok ur getting 2!

send 🎶 for a song that reminds me of your muse

Fish in a birdcage

(For early in life, softly implies she and roman knew eachother before academy)

I'm a fish inside a birdcage.

My brother always sings me songs,

With his beak, he tries to soothe me.

He makes me feel that I belong.

He has a wild imagination and tells me things that must be true.

Like there's a world where I can take flight, where I can freely move.

So carry me from these walls, Brother of mine.

Show me the world outside.

.·͙̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥̩̩̥͙　✩　̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥̩̩͙‧͙ .

Glowing by the Oh Hellos

Well, you'll stand like you stood as a babe

Tugging at the houseplants all on your own

Honest and truly.

You'll rise like land pulled up at the sound

Of some strange commandment.

A moon alight, reflecting fully

And I guess it would feel like rebirth out of some kind of dying

To see yourself so glowing.

[unopenablebox]

simply don’t understand the appeal of houseplants

or, like, absolutely, a prop, a staging element, they cast shadows and introduce green

they’re just so difficult to maintain and they don’t like you and you don’t learn anything about their biology

[lizzie-is-here]

ANOTHER IMPORTANT THING FOR A NEW SERIES PLS RESPOND!!!

i really appreciate any feedback on these yall 🥺🤍

but as i finish up girls just wanna have fun, i need to plan the next series! i have some new ideas, and i’ve scrapped a few others. like i said, pls feel free to tell me ur thoughts! <3

option one: like the dawn

ship: stucky x winged! reader

genre: angst to fluff

summary: you, steve rogers, and james “bucky” barnes have been best friends since kindergarten. when they go off to war and you pave your own path into the army, you never expected to lose them both. when you go missing on a search for their bodies and get taken by HYDRA, you become their latest experiment. the angel of death and the winter soldier are an assassin duo that haunt seven decades, but when you encounter a blond man on a bridge 70 years later, it stirs something you forgot was there.

basically a love story spanning the decades, with lots of reunions and relearning things about the people you love, and learning that while some things change, you’ll love them anyways.

preview:

As you three entered the science fair, you spun around, dress swishing at your knees as you took in every invention on display. Even if Bucky was the nerd of your little trio, you could still appreciate good science.

However, when you turned back to smile at your best friends, the shorter one was gone.

“Oh my god. Bucky. Where’s Steve?” The brunet whipped to his side, his hat nearly flying off his head in the process. Another reminder that he was leaving soon.

“Holy shit. Steve?” he yelled, peering over the crowd.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” you whispered. Before you could panic any further, the blond stepped out of the crowd, a pamphlet in hand. “Holy shit, Steve, you can’t run off like that!” you chided, checking him for any bruises.

“You know she’s right, punk,” Bucky added, frowning.

“Why do you two feel the need to chaperone me like I’m some kid?” Steve asked, eyeing you and Bucky as the bright lights of the different booths sent spots across his vision. You rolled your eyes, setting a hand on your hip.

“Because, Stevie,” you sighed, drawing out your words. “You have little-to-no survival instincts, and your mother would smite us if we let you run around on your own.”

Bucky nodded. “C’mon, Steve. I even got you a date.” You whipped towards him, eyebrows raised.

“You did? How?”

“I’m just that good, doll.” He winked at a passing girl, who practically swooned and waved to him.

You scoffed, lightly smacking him on the chest and taking Steve by the hand. “Let’s go, before Buck manages to leave a trail of broken hearts behind him and you have an asthma attack.”

option two: hades and persephone

ship: bucky x plant powers!reader

genre: comedy, fluff

summary: you’ve been in hiding in NYC ever since your escape from a HYDRA facility. in all honesty, it hasn’t been too bad. your power over plant life has made it laughably easy to establish yourself as a small-time florist in new york. you’ve thought about trying to join the avengers, but you’re far from prepared when the whole group comes busting into your store after a bad mission involving a lot of poison ivy. turns out you hadn’t been hiding very well, they were just being polite. (no civil war)

basically a superhero comedy showcasing some fun plant-based powers. isabela madrigal who???

preview:

Carefully making sure no one was watching, you ran a hand over the wilted orchids, watching as they returned to life with a mere touch. You smiled, setting the pots up on a shelf, perusing your store and keeping every plant in top shape. Flowers and houseplants alike lined your shelves, all perfectly healthy without a dead leaf in sight.

You sighed, relaxation taking over your mind. You felt your powers tingle, and when you glanced over to the mirror, you were met with a scattering of lavender flowers growing in your hair.

Frowning, you began to brush it out, waving a hand and dissipating the petals on the floor. Just as you managed to remove the last one, your door burst open with a loud bang, sending you jumping and causing begonias to bloom in place of the lavender.

You shrieked, ducking behind a shelf to furiously remove the pink-orange blooms.

“Sorry! Sorry, miss. You don’t have to hide, we know about your powers,” a voice said. How did they know? You’d been so careful to keep it all secret.

You peeked out from behind the shelf, eyes widening when you saw who was standing in your shop.

The Avengers. Still in their mission gear, covered head-to-toe in rashes. Poison ivy. You were sure of it.

“What the hell happened to you guys?”

option three: lonely is a man without love

(THAT’S RIGHT MOON KNIGHT BABY)

ship: marc spector + steven grant x avenger! assassin! reader (no jake i’m sorry i just don’t have enough screen time to know how to write him😭)

genre: comedy, fluff, slight reverse comfort bc episode five

summary: when you went to london to check out rumors of a new vigilante superhero, you were very shocked to only find a mild-mannered gift shopist. you befriend him nonetheless, and are just about to call the tip a bust when one night, you hear loud noises in his apartment next door. when you break in to check on him, you don’t find your shy friend. instead, you come face-to-face with a snarky mercenary and his… giant skeleton bird? (good ending to endgame, reader can see khonshu for reasons tbd lol. comedic effect??? idk)

basically a girlboss x malewife fic with angst. reader is badass and steven and marc are sweethearts with unresolved trauma.

preview:

“Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait,” you said, holding a hand up. Steven- no, Marc, sighed exasperatedly, waiting. “You are a mercenary?”

“Why do you need to know?”

“Just answer the damn question!”

He rolled his eyes. “Fine. Yes.” You sighed, leaning against the bookshelf.

“So what? Was Steven just an alibi?” you asked. You really hoped not. One, because he was sweet and kind and an absolute nerd. And two, because if he wasn’t, then that meant that Marc’s dedication to a cover was better than yours. And that simply would not stand.

“No, it’s more complicated than that. He’s, like, a facet of me. Another personality.” You perked up, visibly relieved.

“Oh, so he’s an alter? Like, you have DID?”

“Is that what it’s called?”

“Do you… Do you not know the name of your own personality disorder?” His silence spoke volumes. You chuckled under your breath, watching him stammer to try and recover from his fumble. You removed the gun from your waistband, preparing to set it on the table. In an instant, Marc had your wrist in a death grip, attempting to jostle the gun from you.

On instinct, you twisted under his arms, kicking out his legs. He rolled over and stood back up, kicking the gun from your hands.

You took a moment to analyze his fighting style, scanning him as he circled you. He was good, yes, but his form was sloppy. Basic US military training, most likely nothing specialized.

Taking one out of Nat’s book, you leapt up, wrap your thighs around Marc’s head, and flip him over, holding him in place as he thrashed on the floor.

“Shut up, holy fuck you are so damn loud Jesus fucking Christ,” you hissed. Eventually, he tapped your leg, wheezing.

“Truce,” he sighed. You rolled off of him, nodding.

“Yeah, truce.”

option four: the soldier and the scythe

ship: bucky x ex hydra! reader

genre: heavy angst, trauma, hurt and some comfort, healing

summary: all you’ve ever known are the walls of HYDRA. you’re the first joint project between the red room and HYDRA, an assassin with a reputation for perfection. you’ve been modified to resist conditions that would kill anyone else, trained to evaluate every situation and to slip away without a trace. you don’t have any weaknesses. except for your long-time partner. the winter soldier. and when a mission goes south and a man on a bridge stirs up memories in him, you’re stuck in the middle of a war between what you’ve been trained and brainwashed to do, and the man you trust more than yourself.

basically a deep dive into what happened to bucky barnes in HYDRA that turned him into the winter soldier and the lingering hold it has on you both. warning: will discuss abuse, PTSD, torture, dehumanization, and possibly sexual assault. it’s gonna be a heavy one.

preview:

Your room was quite literally the only place you had any semblance of privacy in HYDRA. If you could even call it a room. Four concrete walls, bright fluorescent lights that went out at 12:00, a tiny cot, a toilet in the corner with a sink and tiny mirror.

No cameras though. And that was all you could hope for.

With a sigh, you stripped off your tactical suit, grabbing a thin shirt and pants. You slipped them on, running a bent and broken comb through your hair. Not for your appearance. Hell, HYDRA had trained any care for your looks out of you years ago. But untangled hair was easier to braid back, as you’d found after they’d chopped out a large chunk of your hair one time.

You spot a glimpse of the mirror. Dark, tired eyes stare back at you. Your skin is sunken and dull, although the cut across your nose had stopped bleeding and was already almost fully scabbed over.

You tore your gaze away from the machine in the reflection, opening your door slightly. A freedom not afforded to most HYDRA soldiers. But as one of HYDRA’s prized experiments, well, you got a few privileges.

“Как ты думаешь, куда ты идешь? [Where do you think you’re going?]” a guard asks. You kept your eyes low.

“В гостях у Солдата. [To visit The Soldier.]” He begrudgingly nodded, and let you pass. Silently passing down the hallway, you stopped outside his door. Him. The Winter Soldier. Winter, as you knew him. One of HYDRA’s oldest and best assassins. They’d managed to drain most of the humanity out of him a long time ago. But not all of it.

You knocked.

He opened the door instantly. You both schooled your expressions as you stepped inside and he closed the door. Luckily, HYDRA didn’t care what it’s favorite killers did behind closed doors. As long as it didn’t interfere with your work.

“Are you alright?” he asked. Even though his memories were as jumbled as yours, he knew English was his first language. It was what he preferred to speak.

“I will be.” He sat down on his cot and you joined him, the rough fabric bending under the combined weight. He rested his forehead against yours, both of you closing your eyes.

A moment of reprieve in all of the blood.

[kyovtani]

HI ZADE BELOVED !!! 💓💓💓 may i hear ur personal hc’s for mikey if it interests u ? <333 (i keep wanting to come into ur inbox for these but im shy </3)

please dont be shy at all 🥺🥺🥺 i'm so happy to see new users in my inbox!!!! and ofc mikey interests me he's literally my second favorite tokyorev character and i have the softest spot for his flip flop wearing headass

this might be a softer one but i just know mikey's got a soft spot for plants and flowers. he finds them calming and has like a few little houseplants he takes absolutely amazing care of. whenever he gets you a bouquet of flowers he picks and assembles them himself because he feels at ease while making them 🥺

mikey's a stress head giver. whenever he gets a little stressed or frustrated, he finds himself in between your legs, pretty face buried in your cunt as he forgets about everything and everyone to make sure he can savior every single drop of your sweetness. the amount of times he's ruined his own pants just because he got too worked up from fucking you with his tongue is uncountable but absolutely nothing he'd ever hide.

[justconstantly]

PLEASE interact: if you go crazy go stupid to your favorite playlist/album when you're alone, you know how to cook, sharing memes is ur love language, you own Bluetooth headphones but kinda regret it, u were in guard in highschool (especially rifle line), you would fist fight ur university's leadership if given the chance, you unironically like banjo music, u read giant ass books in an afternoon when u were a kid (bonus points if it was about dragons), you love the old Barbie movies, laundry people, houseplant enthusiasts, sleepy bitches, tea drinkers, adventurous eaters, aro/aces, and if you use u and you in the same sentence

[hungerpunch]

rainy outside, cozy inside

[elysianslove]

Ok so I just read your little things they do piece and my heart❤️ I’m such a softie ( read: simp) for Ushijima and I was wondering if I could put in a request for like a HC where his s/o visits his home/ dorm and sees all these plants and he’s like “ meet y/n . Y/n...” I hope this makes sense! Thank you so much!💜

hi anon!! i hope this satisfies ur simp fantasies 😏 thank you so much for requesting, and i hope you enjoy hehe! <3

public service announcement that i love this himbo <333

moving on

i really wanna go deeper than just what was requested i hope that’s okay :) 

i don’t think ushijima really knew what it was like to love someone so much the way he loves you 

i don’t think he knew he was in love with you, even throughout your relationship in high school

there were a lot of little things that would make him, like, pause 👨🏼‍🦲

maybe because his heart clenched in his chest or maybe because he couldn’t hold back a smile while admiring you even though all you were doing was picking out which ice cream flavor you were gonna have

when you first tell him you love him, he freezes up, and you realize this and immediately say “it’s okay! you don’t have to say it back. i just wanted you to know that i do. that i love you.” 

it’s all he thinks about for 

well forever tbh 

he wants to say it

but he wants to say it when he truly means it. 

he doesn’t realize he’s always truly meant it until it slips accidentally 

he’d invited you over to his apartment, a year after graduation 

he’s living alone, giving him more freedom and control over the design of the apartment. it’s very simplistic and minimal, but there is such a large variety of plants all over the apartment 

never disrespect him and say they’re fake

he’ll spike a ball to your chest 🏃🏻‍♀️

anyways 

you come over, and it’s your first time seeing the apartment. he hadn’t wanted you to see it until it was fully set up 

“toshi ur plants are so pretty 🥺” 

i just know wakatoshi is so straightforward and blunt with his compliments. he’d say some shit like “you’re pretty” but in a monotone voice it doesn’t SOUND like a compliment but please believe him it is

while you’re taking a look around the place (and looking at the pictures he’d hung up of the two of you im screaming) he’s just 🧍🏻‍♂️

and then he goes “can i show u my favorite plants” 

and you’re like YES PLEASE SHOW ME YOUR FAVORITE PLANTS

romance this strong is only alive fictionally </3 

he takes you to his bedroom, and there are a bunch of plants lined up on the window sill 

he takes your hand and guides you to them, and keeps his hand in yours as he points to the first one and says “this cactus is sweetheart, after you.”

you’re already combusting 

“and this one” — a jade plant — “is darling, after you.” 

“and this one” — a peace lily — “is y/n-san, also after you.” 

“and these” — ivy plants — “are love bug, after you.” 

and teasingly, you go, “love bug?” 

and 

remember when i said he’s so casual and nonchalant about compliments 

THATS WHY HE ACCIDENTALLY SAYS IT

“because i love you”

someone call the ambulance, y/n is dead <3 

you stand there mouth agape and wakatoshi is still going on about his houseplants on his windowsill that you kinda nudge him to catch his attention

when he sees the look on your face, he stops and straightens up, unconsciously squeezing the hand that was still in yours 

“toshi you love me?” 

and he just nods gently and goes “after all this, how could i not?”

bruh

BRUHHHHGGHHEBKW

he sees your expression with your teary eyes and he softens up so much 

personally i hate crying in front of people but i would straight up start sobbing lmfao

he lifts up his free hand and cups your cheek and nods again, more firmly “i love you,” and his smile gets wider as he himself starts to process what he just said 

and then he leans forward/leans down and presses his lips to yours, his hand moving from your cheek to the back of your neck as he pulls he closer 

and god 

wow love is so nice ❤️

on your way back home you buy ivy plants and name them “toshi” and you send him a picture when they’re set up at your windowsill 

(responds to the text with 👍🏼 bc he has dad energy) 

(im sorry) 

he sends you a picture back with his own ivy plants named “love bug” mimicking your picture exactly <3

end note; this was so cute omg im cryin. i hope the requester and everyone else enjoyed that!! and, like always, requests are open!!