#be the church God longs for
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
Just to clarify my thoughts (since I've had a number of people ask me about it) re: Job and cursing God. There's a big difference between cursing God as used in Scripture and how we generally would think of cursing at God today.
Cursing someone, in the Bible, has a lot of depth to it. It's not just saying "screw you " in anger, it's got a sense of forsakenness to it. It's the opposite of a blessing, a removal of blessing. If the blessing is presence, your face shining on the person you're blessing, then a curse is absence. In some translations, Job's wife tells him to "renounce God and die," which I honestly think makes a lot more sense to modern ears.
Job says a lot of unpleasant things to and about God in his anger and grief. So do the Psalmists. A number of the Prophets. So can we. God can take it if we come to him with honest expressions of our emotion, including those not-so-nice ones directed at him. I don't think there's anything wrong with getting mad at God and saying, "How dare you, you bastard" when you suffer unjustly. You can say much worse, I think, without sinning, though I don't feel particularly inclined to give examples. But as long as it's an honest expression of your heart, I think you're doing exactly what prayer is for. You're presenting him your heart with an open hand. He can use that. Opposite of love is not hate but indifference, etc.
Job doesn't renounce God. Neither should we. But I think when you're truly suffering, you're gonna have those feelings toward God either way. He'd rather you address them with him directly than try to avoid them. Cursing at God in the modern sense is actually a great way to keep the relationship strong and not end up cursing/renouncing him in the Biblical sense.
#i did try to draw that distinction in the original post but I didn't really go into detail#mostly bc i was trying to be concise and just focus on how the church talks to sufferers#so here's the long version#pontifications and creations#only thou art holy#also side note: there was someone yesterday who responded to that post with the suggestion that suffering is generally the sufferer's fault#and it got worse from there#just an absolutely rank response that had me immediately blocking that person and googling if there was a way to remove someone's addition#idk to what degree that person is an active member of this broader christian community we've got going on here#but if you see that post (and you'll know it when you see it) please as a favor to me don't interact with it#there were some lovely responses and additions to that post yesterday too#but that one made me mad#idk. to a certain degree i wanted to vent#they're blocked now though so whatever#anyway. I've sort of been percolating on these various thoughts for a few weeks#since i went to a really fluffy women's talk on suffering#and now i kind of want to give my version#I'm far from the greatest sufferer in the world. i am well aware of that#but as I've been sick I've just done So Much Thinking and reading about theodicy and struggle with God that i feel qualified to opine#unlike the giver of that talk#anyway#tag rant over#...for now#theodicy
204 notes
·
View notes
Text
I started doodling greek gods, it's over for me. I have to accept that I'm officially addicted to epic the musical
#doodle dump#epic the musical#athena#4 years.... 4 years only doodling random stfuff#now look at me drawing again#this one is only sketch BUT I'M ACTUALLY TRYING TO WORK ON SOMETHING???#2019 dorothy is back lord have mercy on me#going back to drawing made me remember how much I hate painting#Im working on something that look almost exactly as I pictured BUT I CANT PAINT FOR SHIT#I just know the second i put some colors it will ruin the drawing#maybe I should turn all my works on coloring book typa shit so other people can paint for me lol#went in a long rant about something unrelated to the doodle aint that amazing#btw this is my first time drawing an owl and im actually proud#(also unrelated but GOD have i missed posting random shit and then going onto long rants on the tags)#back to epic the musical: sometimes I'll be listening to some song and just think “wow i could do a funny comic about this-”#LIKE HOW TF AM I BACK TO THIS?? ITS HAMILTON ALL OVER AGAIN I NEED REHAB CALL THE POLICE CALL THE CHURCH CALL MY THERAPIST
114 notes
·
View notes
Text
breaking the 66th seal. based off of cabanel’s ‘the fallen angel’.
#my god. this took so long#and required a lot of technique I have litcherally never used before#BUT. i am. proud. I think! Lol!#idk arts about learning and I sure as hell learned#critique welcomed!#supernatural brainrot lately smh#will anyone remember the church they killed Lilith in or is that just me xoxo gossip girl#re: my art.#Sam Winchester#supernatural#supernatural fanart#the winchesters#demon blood sam winchester#spot the bibilicsl references#spn fanart#spn#jared padalecki
69 notes
·
View notes
Text
I love being queer and I love being a mormon, but there are times when I'm just so tired.
#im really glad i found queerstake because i definitely would have left the church by now if not#i can't believe i went that long without any kind of community#i just guessed that there were other people like me because i couldn't possibly be the only one#but i hadnt met anyone yet who was queer a member and was planning to stay and i just felt so alone in this#i was actually on the verge of leaving and giving up when i stumbled across a post#i dont even know how it could have possibly crossed my path it was so random i really think god put it there because there is no way#especially in the moment i needed it that badly#it was just a part of a liveblog from a general conference that was especially rough on me and i saw the queerstake tag#because like. i dont want to leave. why should i have to i like it here i dont want to leave just because people dont want me here#and i just really want to be there and hopefully be fully out one day so that queer kids in the church can see me and know they aren't alon#but there are times when im just so bleh and tired and sad#vent#tw vent#queerstake
71 notes
·
View notes
Text
I MISS HER
#sorry im having a moment#anita fite#dc#yeah shes had like a few cover/spread cameos. but she hasnmt ACTUALLY APPEARED IN. SO FUCKING LONG#I MISS HER!!!!#grandpa max is god? i go to church now
517 notes
·
View notes
Text
🔥 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐏𝐚𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐃𝐨𝐜𝐭𝐨𝐫
The Tenth Doctor’s death remains one of the most profound things I’ve experienced. Because Ten was a man who gave so much, sacrificed so much, loved so much. And in the end, he looked inside himself and found ugliness there. And in his profound humility, he willingly submitted himself to his own mortality for the salvation, not of the world, but of a single human being. I love you, Ten. Vale Decem.
#doctor who#david tennant#tenth doctor#10th doctor#fourteenth doctor#14th doctor#the church on ruby road#this was inspired by my solid belief that 14 will die in a church#one of RTD's core beliefs is how god is too powerful to exist#that no one should have that much power#the christ imagery in RTD's era are profound#as is the idea that too much power brings arrogance and coldness#that sometimes a Time Lord lives too long#and it is okay to accept one's own mortality#god. RTD shaped who I am 💙#dw 60th#doctor who 60th anniversary#*mine#*myart
158 notes
·
View notes
Text
me reading "big, black horse" as "big black cock" all three times 💀💀💀💀💀
#love and deepspace#love and deepspace zayne#lnds ; messages#goodbye#the church is calling for me#i have strayed from god long enough
40 notes
·
View notes
Text
Can’t
One of the saddest things you’ll ever run into are people who can’t.
People who can’t do something. Not because they lack the ability. Not because they lack the means. But because they’ve talked themselves out of it.
Whether it’s talking themselves out of a relationship, talking themselves out of a better job, or talking themselves out of doing something good.
They’ve talked themselves out of even trying. Because they’ve told themselves that they can’t. So many times, that all they have left is “can’t.”
What’s even sadder? The defenders of “can’t.” People who have bought into their “can’t.” So deeply that they defend it against ever trying again.
But that’s not how it’s supposed to be. It’s not how God made us.
God made us for the long haul. God made us for persistence.
Sometimes we get what we need the first time we try. When that happens, count your blessings.
Most of the time, it doesn’t work that way. Most of the time, it’s more like what we see in today’s Gospel.
Where what is needed has nothing to do with the artificial, learned weakness of “can’t.”
Where what is needed is exactly what God made you for. Persistence.
Rooted in faith, in the God of “can.”
Grounded in trust, in God’s good timing.
Knowing that God will provide everything you need.
With the strength to be exactly who God made you to be. Persistence.
Today’s Readings
#Persistence#Long Haul#Can't#Talk yourself out of it#God#Jesus#Catholic#Christian#Church#Catholicism#Chrumblr#Moments Before Mass
31 notes
·
View notes
Text
...and when you're gone
I'll tell them my religion's
you.
Lady Gaga — Bloody Mary
#his name is mr Hands first mate Hands or God as long as you're concerned#wanna join our church?#con o'neill#our flag means death#ofmd#izzy hands
35 notes
·
View notes
Text
I am GOING to erect a bronze statue of Luce
#what did the church think was going to happen#God forgives idolization as long as it’s funny#catholiscism#catholic#Luce
15 notes
·
View notes
Text
I love churches
#me 🤝🏻 aelswith#loving churches#I am obsessed#I have also FINALLY made it to France#god bless my life long dream of seeing all the churches in France has begun
12 notes
·
View notes
Text
i know i’ve taken the gay part of myself very seriously bc i’m growing out my happy trail for the first time since i was 12
#it’s kinda pathetic looking BUT idk it’s kinda cute#it’s just hair! something that i hated for so long. when i was 13 i tried to remove it w nair#and just ended up bleaching my skin for several hours right before a pool party#i was hysterical in my mom’s bathroom#i think i ended up wearing a once piece swimsuit so the evidence was hidden#and i was upset bc it was an ugly church camp one piece#god i’m so glad i’ll never be 13 again LOL#but also i’m glad i’ve mostly transcended the gender stereotypes that were forced down my throat when i grew up#i was sooooooo bisexual but it wasn’t until post-college that i came to that conclusions#after everyone else in my life already had#sigh. baby me…i would love to rub her back and tell her that it’s all gonna be okay#even though it fucking sucks#— idle chatter
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
I have a decade’s worth of questionable history with the church so if I don’t infodump at least a little bit I will explode
tldr: he represents the concept of sin in christianity (christianity being an umbrella term that includes catholicism) and is heavily tied to the city and the letters from paul the apostle to said city
#y’all need to hold me back before I make a long ass post about the bible#he’s my little sin cupcake#homosexuality making a comeback here:#being a trans gay man that grew up in the church lemme tell ya cori’s story is one of the most beautiful metaphors I have ever seen for#being cast out by your own god for reasons you can’t control#if I don’t stop typing now this will turn into a 12 part series#the sandman#the corinthian#my posts
17 notes
·
View notes
Text
Moral Orel hit me in a sweet spot. I think it’s beautiful seeing fans on different paths discussing how the show touched them. I’ve seen people who’ve left the church, agnostics, atheists, and Christians all say the show spoke deeply to them. Of course the show’s black humor on religion offended many, especially before its last season aired, but I think the show’s resulting legacy - connecting to people who’ve both left and who’ve stayed - demonstrates successful nuance to how Moral Orel was crafted.
The show’s creators have said it’s not against religion per se, it’s against hypocrites. Even with the first season, I felt that and found appreciation (frankly, joy) for what was satirized. Here was a show speaking up, exaggerating, and lampooning the facets of Protestant American Christian culture I’ve vented about in confidence to relevant friends and family - without, like many modern shows which tackle this subject do, mocking followers themselves, faith itself, and suggesting to viewers one way of life is better than another, one group of people is (ex: intellectually) superior to another.
Some people have stepped away from Moral Orel and said, “This show comforted me when I left church,” or outright, “This show taught me there is no god.” And that’s not an unfair way to interact with Moral Orel because it doesn’t preach what you “should” do there (a sign of mature writing, really). I stepped away from Moral Orel and said, “This show comforted me in the areas I get frustrated,” which assuages my feelings and makes me more confident in my faith and place within culture.
I feel awkward in contemporary culture because I was raised with minimal secular exposure - daughter of a worship pastor, student at a private Christian school until high school. Meanwhile, in adulthood, I didn't attended church functions for over a dozen years. My group of friends have largely been non-Christians who hold negative opinions about the religion and don’t live remotely similar lifestyles to what I was raised with. I love what I've learned from them. Unfortunately, this also means the cultural building blocks that make me who I am seem shared by no one I'm around, which, even though I'm in my 30s, remains disorienting.
On the flipside, I'm the weirdo with the third eye in Christian spaces, too. I’m an ever-thirsty knowledge-seeker who strives to comprehend forbidden topics from all angles. I spent my twenties researching, questioning, rebuilding knowledge, and critically analyzing everything about the Bible. Church attendees and services feel painfully artificial, with mental blockers to topics I feel are critical to understand.
In either community I partake in, I feel “off.”
I’m grateful to have been raised by parents who didn’t pussyfoot around issues, with a father who deep-dives research. Discussions, delving, and digging into the hard stuff has always been fostered. My family spoke to pastors when we disagreed with their theology. I grew up around people who practiced passive acceptance, but my family was not that.
In the last year, I’ve returned more strongly to my faith and have been reintegrating with the Christian community. In some areas, my faith has grown and, humbly, I’ve learned much from peers. Despite stereotypes, I want to note that, in certain fields, the church community has always been deep and meticulous! And there are so many beautiful and uplifting areas in the church. But likewise there are those areas that get assumed, aren’t questioned, and aren’t… responded to well by questioning spirits. There have always been areas in the church culture I find disingenuous, foolish, illogical, limited, oversimplified, denialistic, or susceptible to hypocrisy and immorality. I’m not better than any person on this planet, but I’m rubbing shoulders with a community that has different blinders than I do, who don’t even consider asking the types of questions or seeking out the information I find necessary for a solidified faith.
Moral Orel disparages the toxic elements of Protestant culture, the misinterpretations, the artificial facades, the mindless assumptions, the poorly-hidden underbelly, all the areas Christian community can and does go wrong. It makes me feel justified feeling awkward in two worlds: someone for whom Christianity is deeply important, but someone whose mindset doesn’t jive with the rest of the town. Someone who can find and wants to find the best lessons outside of Christianity. Someone who believes in questioning, rethinking constantly, raising her eyebrows at common notions within church culture, and striving for the actual love, sincerity, dedication, and goodness our faith should be based on.
#Moral Orel#Christianity#religion#non-dragons#sad thing is this is the shortened version of my uh essay -_-#I suck at short so here's long!#I don't need to give MY LIFE STORY#or every grievance I have in church or my philosophy on what a Christian Should Know knowledge-wise#but yeah#instead of flinching at the hardest topics I believe in bludgeoning into them full force#aka#data and logic are made by God therefore#if God is true#I should be able to dive as deeply as I can into logic and come out the other side#faith isn't the same as data and I think Western culture gets that balance hella wrong#but faith isn't contradictory or trumped by it#anyway tags are getting off-topic#tldr love that Moral Orel is something that I can connect to#btw#there are so many beautiful beautiful things about the church which is why I love to be there#but of course there are those well-known elements that make me facepalm and I'm just talking about those#don't mean to portray the church incorrectly here either
30 notes
·
View notes
Note
Hi! I just wanted to jump in and say thank you, because your blog has actually helped me a lot recently. I read your post from a while back (like a WHILE, 4ish years ago) about the aro/ace future and what that looks like as we get older. I’ve been coming to terms on and off in the past few years about how averse I am to relationships and dating, and with the fact that really don’t care if I’m single for the rest of my life. But you very nearly articulated the main concern: what happens when everyone else is wrapped up in their marriages and their families I am truly alone? I’m still not sure that the aromantic identity is accurate for me, but it feels pretty close and so thank you, again, for opening this world up to me and putting words to my feelings. :)
Aww thank you for telling me!! 💚
I still feel the way I did when I wrote that post, although it occupies less of my brainspace than it used to. However, I will take this opportunity to talk about the big thing in my social life that changed since 2020: I dove hard into my local community. Any local community will do I think, but the main one for me was my local trans community. I was also in a community music ensemble, I spent a couple years in a survivor support group, and I went to local queer events. I valued those communities highly enough that they were the main reason I was upset to be moving to a new city.
Community made a huge difference for me. I wasn’t really friends with any of them exactly (like I rarely hung out with any of them outside of whatever thing we had together), and community definitely doesn’t occupy the same niche of social requirements as friends or a partner. But it HELPS. It helps with social support, feeling connected to other people, having regular social interaction, and (crucially imo) meeting people who are older than you in a peer environment instead of one where they are of higher status than you.
I know so many trans people in their 30s, 40s, 50s, even 70s, from my local trans community - variously single, married, divorced, multiply divorced, dating, polyamorous, nonamorous, etc. It really broadened my view of what people older than me are actually doing in real life, not just what the twenty-somethings around me anticipate they will be doing when they are that age. People who are like me too, queer transgender people who will never fit the conventional narrative. It enriched my life in a way I wasn’t expecting.
I still don’t know what an aroace future looks like and it’s still scary but at least now I know that mine will include local communities and that I can get a fair amount of the social fulfillment I’m seeking from them.
#GROWING UP ARO#i am still doing it.#you guys have been watching my coming of age novel in real time since 2016#a lot of people use church as their local community (not a lot of queer ppl necessarily but i think it's interesting#cuz i never understood what church was all about until i was in a community where i felt a sense of belonging)#my local queer org had an aroace group too but i didn't go lol it wasn't my vibe#honestly since moving i'm really feeling the lack of community hard#cuz it takes time to build up and i haven't been here very long#btw anon all this isn't directed at you specifically i'm addressing all of my followers <3#god i thought of something else but this post is already long enough so it's going in the tags:#in recent years more of my friends are quite a bit younger than me#cuz the ones my age all scattered to the winds for work and school and relationships and being a real adult#so... yeah i lost a lot of those friendships but i haven't ended up alone yet#we'll see! tune in in another 4 years for the next update!!
13 notes
·
View notes
Text
Although nobody likely cares, I'll post some OC lore. Because I have COVID and will be confined to one small room for many days, and my neurodivergent ass can't handle that.
The character's name is Nairin Chauveron, and he's from a species called Shadows. These creatures have the ability to use magic and live for a very long time, and can also become Beast creatures. His, for example, is some weird giant white fox thing. However, Shadows are prone to a disease widely known as Corruption, which screws up their magic and can alter their forms.
They have crystals on their bodies, usually their chests, made of similar materials to their bones and horns. When a Shadow has Corruption, these crystals, or Cores, as they're known, fill up with dark magic when they usually contain regular life force. This makes the Shadow have a lot of negative effects, which I might explain later if prompted. (Although I most likely will not be prompted.)
Anyway, Nairin is pretty much the new king of the mountains, and I call him the bean man because he has paw feet with toe beans. He's also a slut. If you want to read the story I wrote featuring him, here's the link: https://www.wattpad.com/1318871197-mirror-dreams-not-this-dream-again-chapter-1
The story posts irregularly and it's mostly so I can get myself to do things. The first pic was drawn by me a while ago, the second is in a Picrew, the link is here: https://picrew.me/en/image_maker/1414503
I might post more about him later, and I had another, newer image somewhere, but seeing as I can't find it, that'll have to wait.
#ocs#original character#oc artwork#royalty#picrew#fantasy#story#lore#oc lore#silly old man#creature#I do NOT care I made the Cores BEFORE watching Steven Universe and I refuse to change it so go suck an egg if you think it's copying it >:(#marker art#long nose#he can smell your sins and knows what you had for breakfast four years ago#demon?#he regularly breaks into a human-world church and at this point the priest has just surrendered completely to give him yogurt#but his lactose intolerant ass cant handle it#so he ouch tummy taking a crap while swearing at god
14 notes
·
View notes