#be still the dead weather lyrics meanings

[darkchocolatedimples]

the tortured poets department (sponsored by my procrastination)

excuse my essays for each song the lyrics are so interesting to me so there’s like actual analyzation for each one.

fortnight - dex

that lingering resentment disguised by surface level friendship is that not literally him and sophie come on. “run into you sometimes, ask about the weather” the awkwardness!! “your wife waters flowers, i want to kill her” he was the #1 fitz hater for multiple reasons after all (although i think he was over it by the time keefe became prominent)

the tortured poets department - sophie

this is so keefe from her perspective come on “you’re in self sabatoge mode, throwing spikes down the road, but i’ve seen this episode and still love the show” “i chose this cyclone with you” “sometimes i wonder if you’re gonna screw this up with me. but you told [biana] that you’d kill yourself if i ever leave. and i had said that to [dex] about you so i felt seen. everyone we know understands why we’re meant to be.” also let’s be so real keefes drawing journals + goodbye letters, he’s giving tortured poet

my boy only breaks his favorite toys - fitz

guys he’s just a silly little boy with anger issues, and he’s MY silly little boy with anger issues stop hating him 😞 “the voices in his head called the rain to end our days of wild” “he saw forever so he smashed it up” he may have fucked up but it happens!!

down bad - dex

CUZ FUCK IT HE WAS IN LOVE!!! also if i may present to you: “i might just die it would make no difference” in the context that outside of sophie saw no purpose to his own life. he saw himself just as he is presented in the books: as her best friend and nothing more. so in losing that (blaming himself and his own feelings for it) what was left of him? who was left? sophie was also his ONLY friend. not to mention in the context of the fact that when he WAS presumed dead nobody cared, they still cared more about sophie.

so long, london - keefe

no not bc of london actually but because “and you say i abandoned the ship but i was going down with it, my white knuckle dying grip holding tight to your quiet resentment” is actually a direct reference to keefitz’ friendship falling apart as fitz got angrier and keefe got more closed off. “you swore that you loved me but where were the clues?” “im just mad as hell cause i loved this place” me when everglen is no longer keefes safehaven. nor anyone’s for that matter bc its haunted by alvars betrayal and alden’s mind break and fitz’ anger.

but daddy i love him - biana

“i just learned these people only raise you to cage you” “i just learned these people try and save you…cause they hate you” “dutiful daughter all my plans were laid…growing up precocious sometimes means not growing up at all.” i hate alden vacker. how do u manage to use and fuck up all ur kids by age 12 like wow. “i’ll tell you something about my good name: it’s mine alone to disgrace” she would 100% say this. she would also 100% say “im having his baby! no im not but you should see your faces.”

fresh out the slammer - keefe

sokeefe or keefitz take it as it comes. “in the shade of how he was feeling.” “as i said in my letters.” “my friends try, but i wouldn’t hear it…for just one glimpse of his smile” “swirled you into all of my poems” it’s so him it is truly.

florida!!! - keefe

THIS one’s about london! “well me and my ghosts, we had a hell of a time! yes i’m haunted but im feeling just fine” ethan and eleanor wright who?? “your home’s really only a town you’re just a guest in” candle shade/shores of solace type beat “i need to forget so take me to [london], i have some regrets i’ll bury them in [london]” “i don’t want to exist so take me to [london]” aw bae

guilty as sin? - dex

i don’t know how to explain but i just feel like this feeling of i shouldn’t be doing/feeling this the literal guilt and all these delusions and the sheer intensity of it all is just giving me dex. “this cage was once just fine, am i allowed to cry? i dream of cracking locks, throwing my life to the wolves or the ocean rocks” “i keep these longings locked in lowercase inside a vault” this must be the way he loves if he thinks so little of himself and doesn’t let himself have good things. “i choose you and me religiously” because at the end of the day when he makes a decision or chooses something or someone he puts his all into it.

who’s afraid of little old me - sophie

“you lured me and you hurt me and you taught me. you caged me then you called me crazy. i am what i am cuz you trained me.” all of it’s literally giving her growing into herself in stellarlune and making decisions on her own. SHE IS NOT A PAWN!!!

i can fix him (no really i can) - tam

idk its just giving him defending rayni with his life when everyone else including linh was like who tf is this girl.

loml - fitz

every sad pining song is fitz vacker to me. esp the refrences to the romance being dead but never buried... "still alive killing time at the cemetery, never quite buried...i'm your holy ghost" the way that sophie switched up on him in stellarlune (although i fully support her) didn't give him much time to recover. "are they second-hand embarrased that i can't get out of bed because something counterfiet's dead" give me heartbroken fitz!!! for once instead of angry fitz just give me tired, resigned fitz. "it was legendary, it was momentary, it was unecessary, should've let it stayed buried" is such a good summary of sophitz imo.

i can do it with a broken heart - linh

linh is so interesting to me as a parallel of fitz: meaning she, just like him, is always angry. however she masks it in smiles and kindness the way he never learned to, he just lashes out. this song feels like it’s talking about that mask: “i’m so depressed i act like it’s my birthday everyday” “i can read your mind ‘she’s having the time of her life’ …i can show you lies” “cause im miserable and nobody even knows” “i can hold my breath, i’ve been doing it since [i] left”

the smallest man who ever lived - keefe

it’s giving a letter to cassius/gisela/alvar. “and i don’t even want you back, i just want to know if rusting my sparkling summer was the goal. and i don’t miss what we had” “did you sleep with a gun underneath our bed?” “in 50 years will all this be declassified and you’ll confess why you did it, and i’ll say ‘good riddance’” “i would’ve died for your sins instead i just died inside. and you deserve prison but you won’t get time” “in plain sight you hid, but you are what you did. and i’ll forget you but i’ll never forgive.”

the alchemy - sophie

“cause the sign on your heart said it’s still reserved for me. honestly, who are we to fight the alchemy?” aw sokeefe.

clara bow - biana

BIANA BEING COMPARED TO HER BROTHERS AND ALL THE VACKERS BEFORE THEM "the crown is stained but you're the real queen" "beauty is a beast that roars, down on all fours, demanding more...its hell on earth to be heavenly" i love her.

the black dog - fitz

bring back petty fitz!! i think the young girl not knowing the starting line could parallel with keefe not being able to understand things about telepathy that really connected fitz and sophie. i also think we could shift the angle and make it about alvars betrayal and how it sparked his angry trauma response. “you said i needed a brave man, then proceeded to play him until i believed it too.” “now i want to sell my house and set fire to all my clothes…even if i die screaming, and i hope you hear it.”

imgonnagetyouback - fitz

he is 100% this delusional. he's just like me. "you'll find that you were never not mine" "even if its handcuffed im leaving here with you." "told my friends i hate you but i love you just the same, pick your poison babe, i'm poison either way"

the albatross - keefe

“one bad seed kills the garden. one less temptress, one less dagger to sharpen.” “the devil that you know looks now more like an angel. i’m the life you chose, and all this terrible danger.” HE IS THE ALBATROSS. i can’t wait for the movie i want edits of him to this. ACTUALLY I WANT A LOT OF THINGS maybe I’ll make a separate post about that.

chloe or sam or sophia or marcus - keefe

you saw it coming. this song SCREAMS KEEFITZ. like- “you said some things that i can’t unabsorb…you needed me but you needed drugs more.” “changed plans and lovers and outfits and rules all to outrun my desertion of you.” “if you want to break my cold cold heart just say ‘i loved you the way that you were’” WHAT THE HECK DUDE IM SOBBING “back to the moment i crashed into you like so many wrecks do” that line solidified this as keefe’s pov for me. in conclusion. SOBBING.

how did it end - biana

i propose to you: not a relationship, but the vacker family falling apart and the way they became a huge subject of gossip in the lost cities. when alden’s mind broke, while fitz had turned to anger biana became depressed, and i think this song could relate to that as well. the whole part of “guess who we ran into at the shops” feels very much like conversations others would have about the vackers at the time and when alvar betrayed them. “soon they’ll go home to their [brothers], smug cause they know they can trust him.” and i think at the end of the day when all of it happened biana was just young and betrayed and lost, because she didn’t see it coming or understand why (who did?) “the deflation of our dreaming, leaving me bereft and reeling” “i can’t pretend like i understand, how did it end?”

so high school - biana

HER VIBES ALL THE WAY she’s so cute and lovely and i want this for her (and dex. specifically dex. not anyone else.)

i hate here - sophie

was leaning dex until “you see i was a debutant in another life but now i seem to be scared of going outside” but the whole idea of escapism applies to both of them. especially to sophie though when she lived with humans and was so alone because even her own family couldn’t understand her, and she canonically is a bookworm and probably found more comfort in those other lives than she ever could in her own. "I hate it here so I will go to secret gardens in my mind...i read about it in a book when I was a precious child" "ill get lost on purpose, this place made me feel worthless"

thanK you aIMee - tam

aimee 🤝🏽 the song parents. “everyone knows that my [sister] is a saintly woman. but she used to say she wished that you were dead.” “but when i count the scars there’s a moment of truth: that there wouldn’t be this if there hadn’t been you.” thank you song parents 🫶🏽

i look in people’s windows - fitz

i thought this song sounded so creepy till I actually listened to it and now the idea of like lowkey stalking someone just to see if they still care about you or have moved on is slightly making sense. "does it feel alright to not know me? i'm addicted to the if only." it's giving keefitz (when isn't it?)

the prophecy - dex

"let it once be me, who do i have to speak to about if they can redo the prophecy?" THIS JUST REMINDS ME SO MUCH OF THE BEGINNING OF STELLARLUNE WHEN HES LITERALLY MOURNING WHAT HASN'T EVEN HAPPENED TO HIS BROTHER YET i need more dex being the oldest sibling and shouldering that burden. the love-hate relationship with his siblings while simultaneously trying to make their quality of life so much better than what he had. also "a lesser woman would've lost hope, a greater woman wouldn't beg" is so him. he is so that middle.

cassandra - tam

"so they killed cassandra first cuz she feared the worst...do you believe me now?" "you can mark my words, i said it first. in a mourning warning, no one heard." tam when keefe joined the neverseen fr

peter - keefe

pls tell me you saw this one coming. "are you still a mindreader? a natural scene stealer, I've heard great things [fitz], but life was always easier on you than it was on me." "promises, oceans deep, but never to keep" "forgive me [fitz], my lost fearless leader...from when we were just kids. is it something I did?" i think I'm just in a constant state of mourning their friendship.

the bolter - keefe

obvious reasons but also "i can confirm she made a curious child, ever reviled by everyone but her own father." "hearts are hers for the breaking, there's escape in escaping." "she's got the best stories, you can be sure, as she was leaving, it feels like freedom."

robin - dex

had to do some research for this one but apparently its talking about preserving a child's innocence! for this reason it reminds me again of dex and his siblings because of the way he really wants to protect them from things that haven't happened yet (especially considering rex being talentless). "way to go tiger" definitely sounds like something he would say to them feeling all sentimental but then, knowing siblings, they'd probably grill him about why he's being nice 💀

the manuscript -

we know the drill by now, fitz gets all the breakup songs because they could be about sophie OR keefe. "afterwords, she only ate kid's cereal, and slept in her mother's bed" while the song is discussing reverting back to childhood habits in vulnerability, fitz's vulnerability made him angry (but it was still a big change from his regular self) "looking back might be the only way to move forward" I hope he does get to move on!!! im tired of the love triangle plot if we're not gonna focus on keefitz' friendship 😭

[thegirlwholied]

fellow period-piece swooners, I have a movie rec for you and I am downright flexing my hand about it. and I am sorry, so sorry, that you cannot watch it right now- because I attended the world premiere at TIFF last night and apparently it's still seeking distribution which means unfortunately there are no gifs yet for me to reblog - but this is your notice to keep a weather eye:

the movie is the Widow Clicquot. the plot is champagne!

...not the celebratory spritz and spray of it all, but the dedication and innovation and passion and knowing-your-taste-and-insisting-on-it of getting bubbles to be just the right size and fuck Napoleon's embargos actually...

also, the people expressing opinions about Napoleon are a British cast pretending to be French - which I guess appeals to the piece of my soul that is Les Mis.

it's beautifully filmed in a way I specifically associate with Pride & Prejudice 2005... which makes sense given the director, Thomas Napper, directed the second camera unit on P&P 2005 & Atonement & Anna Karenina & etc. Joe Wright, who directed those, is a producer here (and was on stage last night & I had no idea who he was whoops).

there's a scene of exploding champagne bottles that may haunt me forever the way the floating cotton in North & South 2004 does. that & the vines.

to quote Taylor Swift, "it's giving cinematography."

the Widow Clicquot herself is played by Haley Bennett (who has been in many things I haven't seen...yes I had to imdb Haley while sitting in the row right behind her but) who I have seen before in Music & Lyrics! As Cora Corman! "Way Back Into Love"! & "Buddha's Delight"- I believe in karma (la, la, la)

anyway she's great in this - the Q&A host after called her performance "transcendant", not wrong - she had a SAG-AFTRA waiver to be there, and thankfully because this was very apparently a passion project throw-everything-you-are-into-it role for her. And her post-movie quotes speaking both about the character's passion and her own- "do something that makes you feel like a goddess!"; "do what you love and let it kill you"- made me a fan.

the Widow Clicquot's dead husband? Tom Sturridge, The Sandman himself and playing just as much a dream as Dream (note: I do not promise "dreamy" I promise "dream" which can also have adjectives like "wild" and "fever" applied). You need a good voice when leaning on some voiceover from letters/memory for a character; he sure has it.

but. Sam Riley. aka Mr Darcy from Pride & Prejudice & Zombies, and Maleficent's hot raven (and looks even better in this imho)- his character is Louis Bohne, Veuve Clicquot's wine merchant, and as much as the Widow herself, his character made me go, "I need to read the book" to learn how much was history v fiction there.

the character dynamic was: damn, of course you're cool with your husband's libertine BFF/possibly-lover, you're secure and he's such fun company.... your husband's tragically gone but his friend helps you out & appreciates your true love of the vineyard without overstepping... well. get yourself a friend you can both giggle with over how hot the new foreman is (Leo Suter filling a historical-eye-candy role) ... AND hook up with yourself. you go girl, & bless your hot bisexual heart fictionalized Louis Bohne.

(hottest kiss in cinema off the top of my head is always the Timothy Olyphant & Jennifer Garner first kiss in Catch & Release. But some scenes here flirt with that level, & it was the Widow/Louis scenes for me).

the sound alone made this one worth seeing in theaters; sounds were so well used (maybe when a movie is so much about taste, & you can't convey taste through a screen, you double down on the senses you can) and it was scored by Bryce Dessner from The National (whose brother has been collaborating on Taylor Swift's recent best tunes)-

the Widow's name is Barbe-Nicole and not to make a Champagne Barbie reference but this hit in the spot Barbie also reached for, in a subtle way, with the effortlessly close relationship she has with her maid (Lizzie from Peaky Blinders! thanks imdb, knew I knew that face) and the woman in a man's world of it all - obviously one who created a successful dynasty of champagne and how did I never know how instrumental women have been in creating champagne as we know it, about to jump down a historical rabbit hole here-

+ also. grief. "you don't understand. he wasn't just someone's first love". an early line + the one that stuck with me.

anyway. not to say I think it's a perfect movie (there were a few "wait I need more information" beats that left me feeling like I *need* and not just want to read the book)... and it didn't make me think "this better be up for an Oscar" (One Life, with Johnny Flynn & Anthony Hopkins which I saw Saturday: made me cry & should be)- though I think it could be for sound!... and I don't know if I'd say it's the movie I enjoyed the most (Flora & Son, out Sept 29) or learned the most from (Paul Simon documentary, all 209 minutes of it, probably takes that of the 4 films I saw)-

But it's the one I'm writing this post about. & I'm going to get the book. It made me want a bottle of Veuve Clicquot champagne. & to go to the champagne region. & to see gifs of it on my dash, immediately. & I would read fan fic if there was some- it built the characters and its own movie world enough for that, with enough space left to wonder- and when a movie can do that, it thrills me.

anyway Tumblr, or at least the side I always land on. I think you'd like it. I think it's your kind of movie too. and it's filled with a lot of love from people who clearly loved making it. here's to independent productions and the unions fighting for fair deals to make a living doing what they love, here's to feeling like a goddess, here's to gorgeous period pieces and gif makers of scenes to come, here's to the author in the audience who got to see her book on screen- and the movie star who got it made and all of us still working on making our own art into something that can be seen someday. Here's to the passion of creativity in whatever shape it takes, pour the champagne 🍾🥂

[aanoia]

Can I also have pancakes for dinner with James 🥺🥺

Ofc anything for u bae <3

Pancakes for Dinner

James Potter x reader words; 1,859 song; Pancakes for Dinner by Lizzy McAlpine warnings; heavy anxiety omg, plane crash-ish? yall let me tell you. i had such a scare, my mom had to call an ambulance and go to the hospital and i fr have watched too much greys anatomy bc my first thought was oh she's gonna die. like ik how simple freaking back procedures can result in becoming brain dead. is that crazy? doesn't matter bc shes okay now :) if you love a song, the marauders, and my writing, request a song fic and your wish shall be my command. bold is the letter, and yes the lyrics are the letter partly :) ENJOY

Don't wanna be forward

Don't wanna cross a line

“I can’t believe you’re leaving!” Lily whined, wrapping her arms around my waist tightly. 

“I’ll be gone for two weeks, Lils.” I said with a soft smile. 

“Two weeks is a lot, I agree with Lily.” Sirius said, walking up to us and giving me a hug as well. “I’ll miss you, I guess.” He teased and I pinched his arm before locking eyes with my best friend, James Potter.

We said nothing as he threw his arms around me, “Only two weeks?”

I nodded, “Only two.”

But if I were to crash in this plane tonight

I'd want you to know this

“What happened?” I asked my mom as we were heading towards our gate in the airport.

“Apparently a plane going out malfunctioned and crashed to the ground. Thankfully they hadn’t gotten very high up in the air so everyone survived, but that’s still scary.” She explained and my breath hitched. 

“How much time do we have until we need to board?”

“Two hours, your dad wanted to be early.” 

I nodded as she sat down on the waiting chairs, “I’m gonna go to the desk over there, is that okay?” She nodded as she pulled out her book and began reading.

Don't wanna say too much

Intrude on your space

I pondered for a minute, an empty piece of paper in front of me and a muggle pen I stole from our hotel in my hand. I didn't want to be too forward about my feelings to James, but I didn’t want to get in a crash and not be able to say them at all. Better safe than sorry?

Don't wanna say too much

Intrude on your space

Dear James,

I’d like to start this letter off by saying a plane leaving the airport, not even two hours before mine, has gone down. As far as I know, there were no fatalities. The plane wasn’t high enough in the air to do any fatal damage to anyone once it went down. It does not, however, relieve the fear I feel boarding a plane, instead it only adds fuel to the fire.

Oh, and to tell you is too scary

So I'll just say something else

I need to confess my secrets to you, in case something happens and I can’t anymore. This scares me more than the chance of a plane crash does, but I can’t die without you knowing. I’ll be using a special method of getting this letter to you, so you receive it almost the moment I send it. That is, if Dumbledore taught it to me well.

And I wish that you could hear me

When I talk to myself

You’re my best friend, you’re the most important thing ever to me. You make all the bad feel okay, and the good feel even better. You’re always there for me, whether I’m being an absolute bitch to you or sobbing my eyes out, you’re right there with me. You mean the world to me, James. But I cannot stand the term best friend. Everytime you say it, it's like a punch in the gut.

But this plane might not land safely

So, what the hell do I have to lose

If I just tell you?

I need you to know, James, that-

I wanna eat pancakes for dinner

I wanna get stuck in your head

“James, a letter is on the table for you. I believe it’s from Y/n!” James’ mother called and he raced down the stairs.

“Y/n sent a letter?” He asked, his eyes flitting to the table and landing on a white envelope. He smiled excitedly and grabbed the letter, ripping it open and reading the words.

I wanna watch a T.V. show together

And when we're under the weather we can watch it in bed

His smile dropped as he read about the crash, immediate worry filling his body as a pit settled in his stomach. His throat closed up, as if he was about to cry and he shook his head.

“What is it, Jamie?” His mom asked, worry on her face as she gazed at her son.

James shook his head, “S’nothing.” He mumbled and walked back to his room, letter clutched tightly in his hand.

I wanna go out on the weekends

I wanna dress up just to get undressed

I took a nervous deep breath as we boarded the plane, praying to whoever is out there to keep me and my family safe. However, I wasn’t naive enough to not know that despite my prayers what is planned to happen, will happen. And there’s nothing anyone can do to stop it, no matter what they try. 

I think that I should probably tell you this

In case there is an accident

And I never see you again

James sat quietly on his bed, staring blankly at the picture on his shelf. The picture of him and his best friend, the girl he loved most. The only sign of life in the boy was his soft breathing and the erratic bouncing of his knee, a tell-tale sign that he was nervous. Anxiety filled his veins as he thought about every possibility, each one worse than the last, none of them seemed to have a happy ending.

So please save all your questions for the end

And maybe I'll be brave enough by then

A gasp left my lips as the plane shook and I grabbed tightly onto my seatbelt, praying for the plane to stay in the air. It leveled out quickly and I let out a sigh of relief, rubbing my eye gently. This is the dumbest thing ever.

Don't wanna say something wrong

Don't wanna be weird

James sat nervously at the airport, his leg once again bouncing up and down. So far there was no news of a plane crash or anything like that, so he still had faith. He re-read the letter at least two dozen times, the words not quite settling in. His best friend, of almost six years, the girl he was in love with, loves him. And she wants to spend the rest of her life with him. The idea was absolutely mind boggling to the poor boy.

But if you're still in love with her

I think that I'll leave it there

And I won't ever tell you this

“Sirius, shut up. You’re annoying and you smell like a wet dog.” I said with a smile as Sirius and I turned a corner our fourth year. 

“Woah.” Sirius breathed and I looked up, my heart shattering at the sight. James stood there, his hand on Lily’s cheek as he softly kissed her. I cleared my throat and turned around. “Y/n/n-”

“Not now, Sirius.”

Oh, 'cause to tell you is too scary

So I'll just say something else

Like how was fall semester?

And what was that song about?

I smiled happily as I left the plane, a weight lifting off my chest as I walked into the airport. I linked arms with my mom who held hands with my dad as we walked to the exit of the gate. I walked out and my eyes immediately met James’.

He widely smiled as he jumped out of the chair and ran over, almost tackling me to the ground with a big bear hug. He held on tightly as he swayed us side to side, switching from foot to foot. 

“I’m so glad you’re okay.” He mumbled, not letting go.

“Me too.”

I'll try to hide the way I feel

But I'll just wanna shout

What do I have to lose right now?

“Okay, you two, let’s not block the way, yeah?” My mom said with amusement laced in her voice. James let go and took the carry on bag from my hand, also reaching over to grab my moms.

“I got these for you, ladies.” He said with a smile and I blushed as my mom waved him off with a smile. 

“No special treatment for me, James?” My dad teased and James managed to grab his bad as well.

“So sorry, ma’am. I do have a very important question for you two adults though.” James said with a serious look on his face. I furrowed my eyebrows at him and he winked.

“Yes?” My dad prompted.

“May I steal your daughter for the night? Please?”

“N-”

“Yes, of course you can.” My mom interrupted my dad and winked at me.

I wanna eat pancakes for dinner

I wanna get stuck in your head

“James, I love spending time with you but why tonight? I’m tire- wait.” I cut myself off as the door opened and a sweet aroma filled my nose. James smiled cheekily at me and ushered me in. I hesitantly walked to the kitchen island and gasped.

“Pancakes for dinner.” He said from behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist. “And for the record, you’re always on my mind.”

I wanna watch a T.V. show together

And when we're under the weather we can watch it in bed

I wanna go out on the weekends

I wanna dress up just to get undressed

“James-”

“Nope. You’ve already said your piece.” He said, letting go and stepping in front of me. He grabbed my hands and looked me in my eyes. “It’s my turn.”

I think that I should probably tell you this

In case there is an accident

And I never see you again

“From the moment I laid eyes on you, attacking Sirius with spells we didn’t learn in class until second year, I swore I was in love. You were all I talked about in letters back home, and to Sirius and Remus and Peter.”

“But Lily?”

So please save all your questions for the end

And maybe I'll be brave enough by then

“Lily was a coverup. She knows, by the way. In fact, I didn’t even realize it until she told me. Y/n, you are my best friend, and I love you more than the Earth itself. You are a magnificent witch, with such an intelligent mind and beautiful face. I love every part of you. So, sorry for the lack of originality, but-”

Well, maybe I won't ever say what's in my head

No, I won't have to say anything

“I’d love to have pancakes for dinner, and like I said, you’re already stuck in my head. I want to watch a TV show with you and rewatch it together when I get you sick, or you me. I want to go out on the weekends with you and obviously I want you to dress up so I can tear it off.  I want you, Y/n. I want you.” 

I pressed a kiss to his lips, removing one of my hands from his to cup his cheek. He used his free hand and gently rubbed up and down my waist, committing the curve to memory. We pulled away and rested our foreheads together with giddy smiles.

You'll say it instead

taglist (if u wanna be added comment :) I'd highly recommend, not to toot my own horn but my stories are pretty great);

@poetrypirate @1lellykins @loving-and-dreaming

[hymemena]

Waterparks Intellectual Property Lyrics Starters

Feel free to change pronouns as necessary, and remember to specify muse for multimuse blogs.

CW: Death, Self Harm

—

ST*RFUCKER

"Yo, imagine an album starting with this."

"Take a breath, close your eyes, and shit."

"I'm gonna move out of my loft."

"I can drive you fucking crazy."

"I'll always be around."

"I'm climbing up to your window now."

"It's been a pleasure, nice to meet you."

"Maybe I'm a soul-sucker but you're just a star fucker."

"I signed somebody's NDA."

"I bet you wouldn't ask me to do that by this time next year."

"You can't hide my face and save me for a rainy day."

"It don't go two ways."

"Nope."

"I don't wanna be toxic, I just wanna be honest."

"This shit hits like a comment."

"It just hurts 'cause I want it."

"I'm saying picture that, but like, right before things go dark."

REAL SUPER DARK

"Oh, you mean -name-?"

"Leave some tears after."

"If you're feeling silly."

"I'll call you, beep you later."

"I'm sorry, stop."

"I'm out of my cage."

"I'm on stage."

"I'm dyin' to give you a show."

"I'm alienated."

"Here are a few of the notes."

"My fans are the best."

"They'd love me more dead."

"Man, I can't die 'til I finish the album."

"'Course if I could time it right, shit could go platinum."

"Baby, it's gettin' too loud."

"Everyone's freaking me out."

"Shut the fuck out of your mouth."

"Everybody's proud of me."

"Therapy's not working."

"I don't understand."

"I kill time by playin' tennis with your favorite band."

FUNERAL GREY

"11PM they walked in with their friends."

"I'm trippin' off the deep end."

"Call me a Lyft or a black hearse."

"I know you'll make my head spin."

"What's your favorite color?"

"That's not a color, it's a shade."

"Don't disagree with me."

"I didn't get their name."

"I can't explain the look on their face."

"They wore a sweater in summer weather."

"It's killing me."

"I just want you to be my next mistake that I'm gonna make."

"3AM they walked in, took a hit."

"That shit is gonna kill you."

"They kinda smiled and blew it in my face."

"Well, now you're gonna die, too."

"They rolled their eyes."

"I know your dying wish is to be baptized in my spit."

"Float my way."

"I'm melting for you."

BRAINWASHED

"What's up?"

"Hello, I'm trying to meet ya."

"Don't take it away."

"I wanna play."

"Where did the time fly?"

"What if I pray?"

"Hoping you'll stay into the daylight."

"Wait, what am I saying?"

"I feel insane."

"It's only been a couple of days."

"I'm having the same thoughts."

"Thinking you got me brainwashed."

"I'm see-through."

"Need you."

"Why do I think you're so cool?"

"Everything's clean except for my thoughts."

"Thinking about getting you off."

"It's been a week, I'm still at your house."

"I don't wanna leave, it's freaking me out."

"Why am I acting like that?"

"My day's fucked 'til you finally wanna text back."

"I put some extra on my laugh when you say things."

"Are you really that funny or am I hallucinating?"

"I'm slipping away."

"Give me space."

"Give me your face at the same time."

"It's like my brain isn't mine."

"You moved into my mind, dropped your bags, drew the blinds."

"The syndrome feels Stockholm."

"Do you wanna keep me on lock though?"

2 BEST FRIENDS

"I'm trying to turn my brain off."

"I don't know where to go."

"With the blinds drawn and the lights off?"

"I could pick your body in a lineup."

"Now I'm sick of waiting on you."

"Now I'm sick of waiting on you to call when you're out every night."

"I'm sick of playing it cool."

"Baby, really, I wanna die."

"I went out with my two best friends."

"Tried anything not to think of you."

"It didn't work and I feel like shit."

"Wake up tomorrow and try again."

"You hit the back with the syntax."

"You treated my heart like a handbag."

"Now I'm solo when the night's cold."

"I kissed a couple people but they taste wrong."

END OF THE WATER (FEEL)

"If you feel it, then I feel it, too."

"If you believe me, I could be your truth."

"If you need me, all I need is you."

"Wait."

"Why we ghost each other for a week at a time?"

"Both waiting for each other to reply."

"Make plans and let 'em fall through."

"I can't even call you."

"I can't even call you, let alone call you mine."

"I can be nonchalant if that's what you really want."

"I'm just glad you and I are alive at the same time."

"We can't take back what we never gave."

"That distance keeps us safe."

"Nobody told me that safe is so lonely."

"Now I'm checking your DMs again."

"I'm thinking 'bout your face instead."

Can't we act like you and I are alive at the same time?"

SELF-SABOTAGE

"When we talk, I'm never wrong."

"I'm never wrong."

"If we don't fight it won't last long."

"Might unplug my phone for the night."

"When you need me the most I'll miss that flight."

"It's avoidable."

"I'll destroy chances to be better than I was before you and me."

"Now we're at the part where you'll hate what you see."

"What the fuck is wrong with me?"

"I'm on my way to you but I self-sabotage."

"I might drive my car and crash into your garage."

"To get away from you."

"If you like when we talk, I'll dislocate my jaw."

"It's sad, so sad."

"We both know it."

"Every time I find a good thing I throw it."

"All the way over the edge."

"I stay stoic."

"I get the chance to change your mind, still I blow it."

"You don't see."

"I don't really battle."

"You leave me in the rain."

"Singing through the pain."

"Eddie Vedder sang it better."

"They said they hated me."

RITUAL

"My inner child needs a bulletproof vest."

"A phone that can text?"

"Twenty years rest."

"Build a bomb shelter."

"Bite a belt for the stress."

"Never know what's next."

"Sleeping with my clothes on in case shit goes wrong."

"Gotta clear my front lawn."

"Eyes feel heavy tonight."

"I could sleep for weeks."

"Don't look for me."

"They're killing me when I'm fast asleep."

"Are you hearing me when I say you're bleeding me out?"

"All the things you don't say."

"I'm living fucking betrayed."

"Living like I'm dead and on my own."

"Like a ritual."

FUCK ABOUT IT

"I like you but I need some space."

"I like you kinda far away."

"It's not hard to kill a day lookin' at your face."

"I like you but I need some room."

"Been givin' me your attitude."

"It doesn't always stay that way."

"I hate the aftertaste."

"I don't wanna leave you hangin' on."

"When we fight it's like a marathon."

"Give me three days alone."

"We can fuck about it later if you want."

"It's all we ever really do when something's wrong."

"You don't seem to like it when we talk."

"We never fix the problems that we've got."

"I guess I'll see you later."

"You've been at my crib for like the seventh day up in a row."

"You've been doing silly things like checking who I follow."

"I know you're waiting by the phone."

"It's alright, I won't lie to you."

"Sometimes when we fight it's like scars on my wrist."

"When I think about the shit that we did to one another, baby…"

A NIGHT OUT ON EARTH

"Am I missing out?"

"Am I having fun?"

"Is it just me, or is it everyone?"

"Desensitized."

"The love I get is virtual."

"Now Jesus hates my guts."

"It's getting personal."

"It's a night out."

"The last one for a while."

"Can't get worse."

"Now, if I ever feel jealous I just turn it into lyrics."

"I fuckin' sell it."

"When I get depressed and make songs I turn pain into rain and sing along."

"Still, I get hit."

"Do you remember me?"

"Some version, I guess."

"Dude, oh my God."

"Tell me what you want about your brand."

"Will I make a post shouting out your lemonade stand?"

"Aw, come on man, we're bros."

"Like I've known you forever."

"I watched your little band grow."

"Now it's fuck you and everyone you know."

"I'm gonna make sure you get it through your head before you go."

"I wear my red flags like a cape."

"Got superhuman strength when I'm fucking up your day."

"I'm coming in first so pour the Gatorade."

"Life gave me lemons, now I bleed lemonade."

"It gets so fucking hot under all this shade."

"Everywhere I walk's a toxic parade."

"The glove don't fit but I wear it anyway."

"I could drive my Lexus overnight back home to Texas."

"I could fall asleep in my old bed."

"Life got kinda hectic."

"On the day I got my necklace."

"I just wanna fall asleep on my own."

"It's a hell of a time."

"Was I loved or was I right?"

"I kissed a couple people in a week."

"Am I gonna go to Hell in my sleep?"

"Will God forgive me?"

"I gotta hide everybody that I like."

"Did therapy four times this week from my bike."

"I'm overthinking everything."

"A Capricorn with double horns."

"Triple six, Baby."

"I'm fucking dying for you."

"If it was up to me."

"Everyone I know knows another me."

"It's getting hard to keep track of everything I keep locked behind my back."

"I'm jumping out the window."

"I'm leaving when the night goes."

"I ain't gonna let go."

"Stay jumping at the tempo."

"This is how this shit goes."

"I ain't jumping out the window."

"Stay living at the tempo."

"I'm a natural blue."

"I'm very stoked out to have them on the phone right now."

"Everyone get stoked."

SNEAKING OUT OF HEAVEN

"And I said like a million vocal things in my head for it."

"But like…"

"Whatever, fuck it, here."

"Highkey when we fuck I feel like I'm struck."

"They say I'm brainwashed."

"Yeah, I might be."

"I build a secret room for you."

"Just one more chance to adore you."

"Love you."

"If you're toxic, I'll wear a hazmat."

"Do you think God knows?"

"You've been sneaking out of Heaven."

"Like were their eyes closed?"

"There's no way they're just letting you fall from the stars and get in my car."

"Go to my place."

"You put away your halo."

"I swear to God my heart's gonna pop."

"It's beating light speed."

"If I'm not brainwashed, man, I'm trying to be."

"Swallow my shoes and car keys."

"I don't need those 'cause I won't leave."

"I'll have to jump the gates when I die 'cause they won't let me inside."

[binch-i-might-be]

intermission. I'm having so many thoughts but not in the mind to articulate them

edit: it is no longer intermission. in fact I am back at the hotel room sprawled over the bed and kicking my legs in the air like a little girl. but I refuse to start this list over!

first of all, german really isn't the language for the musical, but they absolutely did the best they could with what they had

with that out of the way, let's get into my scattered stream of consciousness!

the lams is blatant and almost ridiculous. the guy playing Laurens only auditioned for the role so he could make it as gay as possible and I am CERTAIN of that. the homosexual gazing in the first song...... the fucking WAY the other guys and Laurens were whispering to each other when Hamilton first started going off and then Laurens stumbled over as if he was working up the nerve to ask him out. THEY KEEP GRABBING EACH OTHER'S NAPES??? IT LOOKED LIKE THEY WERE ACTUALLY GOING TO KISS DURING MY SHOT. HELLO

when Washington first showed up on stage I immediately went "YES DADDY" and I am not sorry!

speaking of Washington tho, he doesn't quite have the presence for me at some points. he's not as intense or consistent as Chris Jackson, but Hamilton and him are so very cute so I'll take it!

Hamilton is. SO endearing. I love him so much oh my god he's such a sweet boy he deserves the world. the actor is playing him so much younger than lmm did. he's so GENUINE. with lmm there was always this underlying weariness, he was weathered and snippy and waging a constant battle, but this one??? baby boy. such a little guy. absolute sweetheart

at the end of Aaron Burr, Sir instead of "who's that kid, what's he gonna do" they say. "what's the little one doing". can you hear me weeping

a lot of the jokes are lost or just don't hit. sad!

in helpless not only did Washington fix Hamilton's cravat,,,,, Hamilton showed him his ring all excited and then Washington PATTED HIS ELBOW as he was walking away. I'll never emotionally recover from this

also Laurens hands him the ring. they did make homosexual eye contact then. #lgbtq

when Hamilton asks for Eliza's hand, her father doesn't say "be true", he says "na gut". which is basically like saying "k". sir 😭

one thing that annoyed me a bit was that they used a lot of the formal "you". let them use the casual "you". come on :(

AT ONE POINT KING GEORGE LITERALLY SAID "LOVE WINS". GAY RIGHTS

every time Washington would have said "young man" he says "my son" instead. 5 dead 21 injured

instead of "at the right hand of the father" Burr says "in the lap of the father" and I?????

In Guns And Ships when Hamilton is leaving to rejoin the army he kisses Eliza and then :( he kisses her belly :( just kill me on the spot

oh at the end of Meet Me Inside when Hamilton screams in Washington's face he immediately ducks his head and WHIMPERS? he sounds like he's about to cry!!!! baby boy :(

Hamilton and Laurens are constantly roughhousing. constantly in each other's faces. it is very lgbt

this fucking shredded me. they changed mom/daddy/pa/pops whatever to the german Mama and Papa. not only does Jefferson say "quick, run to Papa" to Hamilton instead of "daddy's calling", this ALSO means that Philip burst into his father's office yelling "Papa if you'd HEARD the shit he said about you". you don't know real pain until you watch Philip die and hear that boy go "Mama". eternal suffering

Burr was good. I liked him! (yes that's all I have to say about him lmao)

my favourite performer was either Eliza or Angelica. they blew it out of the water

I am saddened to report that making out on stage occurred yet again! the people losing their shit over lmm maybe kissing with tongue during Say No To This would have died. I saw. tongues. I SAW them

some songs really do not work in german. the Schuyler Sisters is usually a favourite of mine but oh man does it sound rough. I didn't really understand the lyrics in Helpless but I still liked it because it's Helpless. some translation choices were wild and it took me out of it for a moment! BUT I'm very pleased to say that one line in Alexander Hamilton I was annoyed about, which was "and I simply shot him" instead of "I'm the damn fool that shot him" was changed to "I was his friend and I shot him". better!

"I'm not throwing away my shot" became "I only have one shot" and honestly I can't say I'm too mad about it at this point

"rise up" became "frei sein" ("to be free") which was a bit. ngl. cringe at times haha

Dear Theodosia hit me straight in the nutsack. I was borderline weeping over it. both Hamilton and Burr were so good in that, the text was very well translated, and oh boy does it hit different to hear that in my mother tongue. shit girls my issues came THROUGH on that one

Satisfied might have been my favourite translation out of the whole musical. god was that good. it had slightly different vibes from the original, but that made it so interesting. the imagery used was impeccable, Angelica's actress was AMAZING, and it's just. jesus fuck I'm probably coming back to that later on. genuinely that version made me tear up it was so good

honestly I would say the performers carried the whole thing. they made it work!

that's all for now folks! rest assured, I'll let y'all know if I think of anything else, but yeah! initial impressions and all that :)

[augustinewrites]

augustine!! i am dropping by to give some good vibes & good weather for the weekend!! 🥹🌤️ & am also curious!! what song reminds you of any of your blorbos? 🥺 (u can choose… tho i know… ur brain has a bank of songs in there for EVERYONE 😭)

sel!! thank you but it is hella gross weather where i am rn 🥹 also you KNOW my brain runs a mile a minute when it comes to my blorbos so this is very hard…

*clears throat, cracks knuckles*

!! lyrics mentioned are the ones that stood out to me heh

the fushigojos (whose official playlist is pending!) || precious love by james morrison

// i was so lost, didn't know what to do with myself // i was my own worst enemy, i was lost and know needed help // i say thank you for pulling me through, i'm a lucky man // this is precious love, and it's teachin me everything i need to know

it is just…so wholesome and fits gojo’s perspective perfectly

gojo satoru || take a chance with me by NIKI

// heart intangible, slips away faster than dandelion fluff in the sunlight // as much and hard as he tries to hide, i can see right through // he says my name like i'd fade away somehow if he's too loud // why can't you for once, disregard the world and run to what you know is real

just...fits him SO perfectly tbh. i think he needs someone who can read him well and is willing to take the first step for him, you know?

nanami kento || butterflies (stripped version) by MAX & ali gatie

// when we're layin still but you make my heart race // i won't stop getting butterflies, i get em every time i look into your eyes // seen that dress on you before, but every time i do i swear it only makes me love you more // you won't stop runnin through my mind for the rest of both our lives

SO soft and sweet. just the simple things that you'll always love about your person. no explanation needed.

marius von hagen || sparks fly by taylor swift

// you're the kind of reckless that should send me running // my mind forgets to remind me you're a bad idea // i'm on my guard for the rest of the world but with you, i know it's no good // cause i see sparks fly whenever you smile

fits him so well tbh. that kind of love thats fun and exciting and unexpected but that you know will be so so great

wriothesley || heaven by bryan adams

// love is all that i need, and i found it here in your arms // once in your life you find someone who will turn your world around // now our dreams are coming true, through the good times and the bad

every rock song (especially by bryan adams and bon jovi) has reminded me of rio the slay lately...just picture him, twirling the handcuff on his finger singing wanted dead or alive living his outlaw cowboy fantasy while doing his rounds

iwaizumi hajime || 3:15 by bazzi

// lying next to you, i got a flight in the morning. got me questioning what i think is important // life out in cali has been great i'm committed, you're the only thing that makes me wish things were different // it's a quarter after three, saying everything we mean

LDR IWAIZUMIIIIIII MY BELOVED. i know i don't talk about him as often as i should but this will always be my favourite iwa song

[hjertetssunnegalskap1]

"(...) imagine a figure, half angel, half devil, all human ...

Slouching hopefully towards Tadfield. ... for ever."

Were the authors of Good Omen hinting at someone being Nephilim, then? The Nephilim were said to be half angel and half human, so I don't quite know how that all fits. But someone is slouching hopefully towards Tadfield, it seems.

If you wonder, yes I have reached the phase in my Good Omen- interest where I over-analyze and make wild theories about all kinds of details. Well, I reached that phase a while ago, but it's still going strong. You see, I have a feeling that this quote from the book could mean something. And we know that there still are strange things going on back in Tadfield, because Crowley reads about Tadfield being "the best village in England" with "entirely perfect weather" in his paper (could be an old newapaper, but still, it's interesting). And we know from the ending of season 1 that Adam still has some powers.

Oh, and I just noticed that the whispers Adam heard from the deep of him, right before the big finale, were: "You can make it all better." And: "It's getting closer," and "It's getting stronger."

What's getting closer?

I guess you can really say that music "contains information in a tuneful way!" JJust like flies can contain memories, apparently. I just can't help thinking that it means something that Beelzebub loves "Every day," the song with those same exact words. Still, Gabriel had suggested that they should drop the whole Armageddon thing, and Beelzebub had agreed. So what did it mean?

To be honest, I'm very curious about Gabriel's sudden motivation to drop it all. It came out of the blue, in a way, and it's all very strange. I have no good theories about it yet. All I know is that now, "everything's getting closer," and everything id The Second Coming, I suppose.

I can't wait for season 3.

By the way, here are some other lyrics saying that time has come, and it's about facing the truth, and Beelzebub is there, and there's something about magnifying Jesus Christ (Galileo Figaro, Magnifico), therre's thunderbolt and lightning, and it's Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen, of course. One of the few song lyrics that I know by heart, actually:

Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy? Caught in a landslide, no escape from reality Open your eyes, look up to the skies and see I'm just a poor boy, I need no sympathy Because I'm easy come, easy go, little high, little low Any 'way the wind blows doesn't really matter to me, to me

Mama, just killed a man Put a gun against his head, pulled my trigger, now he's dead Mama, life had just begun But now I've gone and thrown it all away Mama, ooh, didn't mean to make you cry If I'm not back again this time tomorrow Carry on, carry on as if nothing really matters

Too late, my time has come Sends shivers down my spine, body's aching all the time Goodbye, everybody, I've got to go Gotta leave you all behind and face the truth Mama, ooh (any way the wind blows) I don't wanna die I sometimes wish I'd never been born at all

I see a little silhouetto of a man Scaramouche, Scaramouche, will you do the Fandango? Thunderbolt and lightning, very, very frightening me (Galileo) Galileo, (Galileo) Galileo, Galileo Figaro, magnifico But I'm just a poor boy, nobody loves me He's just a poor boy from a poor family Spare him his life from this monstrosity

No, we will not let you go (let him go) Bismillah! We will not let you go (let him go) Bismillah! We will not let you go (let me go) Will not let you go (let me go) Never, never, never, never let me go No, no, no, no, no, no, no

So you think you can stone me and spit in my eye? So you think you can love me and leave me to die? Oh, baby, can't do this to me, baby Just gotta get out, just gotta get right outta here

Ooh Ooh, yeah, ooh, yeah

Nothing really matters, anyone can see Nothing really matters Nothing really matters to me

[kaddyssammlung]

BPD / C-PTSD / bad relationship dynamics in Sleep Token lyrics - Part 1

Let's take another topic that I see in the lyrics and just take a closer look.

Of course it's something that I know from my life because it's the only stuff that I ever came up with so far.

Whatever.

So you guessed it: BPD / C-PTSD / strange relationship dynamics....

TW for general mental health stuff I guess

Fields of Elation

“Nobody else can pull me out”

That idealization that I sense in that.

To someone with BPD a partner or their child or anyone can be their perfect "one and only". They are perfect end of story. They can do nothing wrong. Ever!

So only they can pull him out.

“Your name is a sin I breathe, like oxygen”

And there goes the opposite. Either he is ashamed in some way of his feelings because no one else understands them or he has his doubts about weather someone is actually good for him or not.

I do see this as “splitting” or as I usually refer to it "black and white thinking". Someone is either everything to me or they are nothing meaning that they are dead to me. And yes this can change within seconds depending on what they are doing.

Don't reply to one of my text within a certain time? Dead to me! Reply in a nice way immediately: everything to me.

This is in the past btw.

Okay maybe I still have some of that in me. I should talk in the past tense. I'm afraid that at the end of this someone will say: yo...go to therapy again. I think you need it. I had enough of that. So...Idk...just thinking out loud.

When the Bough Breaks

“even when we run with death”

It makes me think about my ex-boyfriend and how we shared some unhealthy coping mechanisms. When your answer to your intense feelings is always something unhealthy and your partner shares that with you, it does not go very well. Let's leave it at that. (I said enough about SH and stuff like that...don't feel like bringing it up again)

Calcutta

“wrapped and quartered … missing pieces find me”

Reminds me of a feeling of not knowing who you are. I don't remember much of my childhood until I was about twelve. Everything is just gone. It's dissociated from me.

“I sweat and I ache for Your eyes and the way you breath … I'm whole again”

It reminds me of relying on someone else. Not in a normal extent but more in a way that you need others to define who you are. Like I said, I don't really know who I am so I crave the attention of someone else. Especially compliments. Maybe this is one of the reason why I liked dancing and standing on the stage so much. Standing there....looking into the crowd and their cheer you and applaud and we also got standing ovations quite often.

I feel like when it comes to BPD and the arts or movies and television or music then you will find many that have that. Idk...that's just my guess.

All of this attention from someone else and he feels whole again. I get that.

Nazareth

“and I'll see you when the wrath comes”

I'm someone who will choose anger over sadness. I recently learned that this is a typical male – BPD- trait. Okay?!

Anyway....that blind rage that used to take over. I don't miss this. Not even a second I would turn into a monster. Scream, slam doors, scream at myself, hit others....myself...mostly myself but yes things happened.....That was a long time ago.

The Way That You Were

“and you think I don't notice the way that you were”

Well...there is no version of myself that I can go back to. It's not like something happened when I was already a bit older. No...a lot happened and it began in early childhood. It's devastating.

“How much did they hurt you?”

idk...let's put an example in here. I was one of those babies who would just cry for hours. So my mother told me that she stopped taking my crying seriously. She thought I cried over nothing and just left me crying.

How can you build trust in other humans when you start out like that?

“and how much did they break you?”

Until I had no idea who I was...?!

“and how far did they take you?”

Let's just say that when your parents are not around much, and you also don't trust them then you open the door for someone with bad intentions.

This whole song just screams early trauma for me. But that's just my way of seeing this.

Jaws

“and why you're taking it slow show me what wounds you've got … show what you've lost”

I don't want to talk about that today. Let's just say trauma and also just read my pinned post and you know what I've lost.

I feel like putting this in here again, what Vessel said about Jaws:

“Our jaws are the tools we have to rend apart. They show our concealed aggression, and take something once hidden and burst it apart. You don't know someone until you have seen them destroy something. Jaws is an exploration of the frustration which accompanies the sense that someone close to you is hiding their true self.”

I have destroyed so many things, actual physical things but of course also so many relationships.

So I can just relate to what he is saying.

I have to prepare some stuff because of Easter and I guess I will continue this next week or when I feel like it. I have so much already anyway. If someone is bored you can klick here.

[margaetyrell]

hi luvs! how are you?? i hope everything’s great 😊 i’m not fully back yet bc i’m on vacation atm, just came to save a long queue to keep my blog active bc it’s pretty much dead. so i’m gonna put all the boring details bellow in case you wonder about the future content of this blog and my general thoughts (if you’re up to read, follow the cut!) please drink water, protect yourselves from this insane weather and take care!! see you all soon 💜

okay so. i’m obviously still disappointed on taylor, but after everything i’ve realised it’s not worth it anymore. i’m still a fan and i cannot deny that. altho it’s true that i’ve distanced myself from her, she is and will always be a big part of my life! and i’d be lying if i said i’m not excited for 1989, bc i bloody am!! it’s one of my fave albums of all time and i really don’t have the strength anymore to let anything else ruin that for me (unless there’s a mh collab on it, then i’ll explode lmao) but the truth is that i’m just an art consumer as we all are, and she is pure art. so i’ll just keep doing my thing while she does hers. end!

that doesn’t mean i’ve erased everything from my brain or that it won’t upset me if she messes up again. but i’m choosing to stay away from drama, not just hers but fandom drama in general. the past year has been a roller coaster of emotions and i’m just tired of it. and the funny thing is that it doesn’t really matter! it doesn’t matter AT ALL. its only point is to make me bitter and out of patience, and i’m just another random person with random thoughts that won’t have any impact on her or anybody, whether i’m right or wrong, so!

in conclusion: i’m a swiftie who is not a swiftie who is a swiftie who is not part of the fandom who is a gaylor who is not an unhinged gaylor who is no one at all. hope this helps!

which brings us to the point: stfu sarah what are we going to see here. ofc taylor, but! i’m not gonna stress anymore over not missing a single post. i’ll just vibe with it and save whatever’s relevant to me from now on (i’ve saved a lot already) which are mostly graphics, fanart, lyrics and tagged posts (you can keep tagging me on everything btw, and thanks again to the few who still do lols love ya!!!) but the main content can be found on the celeb blog i run with my bestie (candyshapes), which not only focuses on taylor but she’s like 70% of it, and where my dear @jdschecter has made sure not to miss any details of the tour (thanks ems, i’d be lost without you <3) so i really recommend you follow us there !! the rest, as usual, will be a multifandom blog with special dedication to taylor and GoT.

that’s all ! if you’ve read everything, thank you SO much. i know it wasn’t necessary, but i wanted to clear that up nevertheless. first, bc i’m pretty true to my opinions and i’ve spent a great deal of time trying to figure this out. and second, bc i’ve lost many of you in the process and that’s understandable. but if i’m going to be back, i need to make sure i enjoy it here and curate my experience once and for all, as you all should! also thanks again to all the people that has understood my situation and showed me support in the past. love you and miss you to bits, mwah!!

[autisticempathydaemon]

For the Redacted match-up! ^_^

A song I’m currently fixated on: “the lakes” by Taylor Swift. The whole song is just so beautiful and wistful. 😭 And something about the melody of these lyrics just hits so right.

Specific lyrics: “I want auroras and sad prose/I want to watch wisteria grow right over my bare feet/Cause I haven’t moved in years/And I want you right here”

Enneagram type: 6w7. (And just for fun, I’m an ISFP as well)

YouTube essays: I don’t think I can focus my attention on a video for that long, tbh. It’s the same reason I can rarely get through movies in one siting. 😂

Imaginary childhood friend: I think her name was Amy? Don’t remember much else, though.

Falling asleep: I always sleep with my fan on, no matter the weather. I have to have the white noise, otherwise it’s just too damn quiet in my room. Usually I’m propped up by two pillows, cuddling one of my stuffed animals or something. If find that I can’t sleep, or just want something to fall asleep to, I’ll put on one of Redacted’s sleep-aids.

Name change: Cheesy as it sounds, if I didn’t have my current name, I’d love to be named Juliet. It just has such Main Character Energy™️ (and I mean that in a good way) and is freakin’ romantic as hell to me. (And yes, I’m aware that the play is a tragedy, not a romance. 😂)

Favorite Redacted audio: If I had to pick one, I think “Serenity Daemon Helps You Relax and Sleep”. That video is just so freaking comforting and sweet, and it’s knocked me out more times than I can count.

Redacted boi with no appeal: Regulus. Yanderes just aren’t my thing, and he legit scares me. 😅

Book/Movie/TV show you could quote entirely: I’ve watched The Breakfast Club so many times, I could quote it forwards, backwards, and sideways.

Redacted BFF: Elliott. Take away the “Lovers” aspect of his relationship with Sunshine, but keep all the playfulness, teasing, and banter that they have together, and I’d be perfectly happy. 😊

(It’s also a really perfect coincidence that Eli’s said he’s the “Protector” type, and I just so happen to like being protected. XD)

Go-to tired ramble: Most of the time when my any of my friends and I would have a sleepover and it was late at night, we’d just get really deep and start talking about life.

Go-to gas station combo: I try to avoid gas stations when I can, just because I hate the smell of gasoline. But I’d probably get a plain Hershey bar and a bottle of water. (I know, I’m boring. 😂)

Favorite playlist: Do you mean Redacted, or just in general? Because the answer depends.

For a general answer, Jacksepticeye’s play through of Night In The Woods. That game is honestly such a comfort one for me, and I can watch that playlist a million times over and never get tired of it.

In terms of Redacted, Ollie’s. If there’s angst abound on the channel, or I’ve just had a bad day at work or something, I can run to his playlist and feel like I’m getting a big, warm, metaphorical hug. 🥰

Guilty Pleasure: I still read, and love, young adult novels. I don’t care that they’re “predictable”, and that I’m “too old to be reading them”. You can pry those fluffy, romantic, cheesy-ass books from my cold dead hands. 😆

Anything else about me:

I seriously think I’m the biggest Swiftie I know. When I say I’m obsessed with her music, I am not kidding. 😂

I’m a huge musical nerd. And coupled with that, I love, love, love to sing. (Provided I know that no one’s listening, anyway.)

I’m a total introvert, and am pretty shy/quiet in general, unless I’m around my friends.

My love languages are quality time and physical touch.

I maaaaay or may not have a slight candle obsession. (Bath and Body Works ones, specifically.) Seriously, I have like, four unburned 3-wick candles sitting on my dresser, and I’m convinced I just like to collect/look at them as opposed to actually lighting the things. 😂

I’m a cat person through and through

This one’s random, but I felt like adding it anyway. I basically live in one beat up pair of combat boots. There are not a lot of shoes in my closet.

I have this thing where I either tear through a TV series in like, a few days, or I don’t touch it for months. The same with books. I don’t know why I do that. 😂

My favorite colors are blue and purple 💙💜

Well, if you’re a cat kind of guy (gn), you know that’s gonna make things easy for me! Though it might not be the boy you think, because I’ve got a case to make for you and Milo Greer.

What I really like about y’all is how the things y’all like (other than cats) contrast and how cute that contrast is. Like, I don’t think Milo’s a Swiftie but man shows up and shows out to take you to her Eras tour. The Breakfast Club isn’t his favorite movie, but he’s seen it with Marie; he’ll say the iconic lines with you when y’all watch it for the hundredth time. He doesn’t really love musicals but he can hum along to Alexander Hamilton with the best of them because that’s an ensemble piece and you need a backup singer.

Milo’s just a really great boyfriend who shows love with a combination of Quality Time and Acts of Service with little sprinkles of Gifts. It’s not just time spent with you, it’s time spent engaging in the things that interest you and make you happy. It’s the time thinking of you when you’re apart and bringing home fun, new candles he saw at the store. Although he is definitely not opposed to physical touch- y’all have a lot of cuddle nights, just you and him and Aggro.

Song:

However big, however small/ Let me be part of it all/ Share your dreams with me/ You may be right, you may be wrong/ But say that you'll bring me along/ To the world you see/ To the world I close my eyes to see

Now, I said Milo’s not really a musical man. You know what he is? A bisexual king with good taste, which means he loves you and a good Hugh Jackman flick especially since Zac Efron is involved. So I think he’s a big fan of The Greatest Showman and of singing the addictive, earworm-y songs with you. A Million Dreams is the sentimental choice, but y’all go fuckin hard to This is Me.

Runner-Ups:

Guy is absolutely a Swiftie and a musical theater kid, okay? Erik hasn’t confirmed it, but I know it in my spleen to be true, so he’s a fantastic runner-up for that reason. Vincent is a runner-up because he adores but despises that you stick to one pair of torn-up shoes and constantly showers you in luxury footwear. I think that’s cute.

note: I understand you completely candles are not just scent pieces they are decor

Read this post and send me an ask if you’d like a match-up of your own! 💌

[kowaindar0u]

i present: yuichi's playlist! [spotify] [youtube]

(as of 3/14/2024)

as with most of the playlists i make, some songs are readily applicable, some just have the right Vibe, some are sorta funny... and in yuichi's case, there's a lot of a rain theme going on lol

(also, some are ones from my own tourabu mood playlist that i just had to bring over)

because i've always wanted to do this i'm gonna go through all the songs and maybe explain why i put it there or something?? yolo! playlist guide under the cut lol

i recommend having this going while you listen!

most songs (on the youtube version) have lyrics/translations where available!

there's a lot of kpop don't judge me lol

Dreamcatcher - Full Moon this is a song from dc to their fans on their first anniversary lol, so the themes of a somewhat-new bond are pretty relevant!

Seventeen- Campfire do i even need to explain? sobs this song makes my heart warm ... just thinking about yuichi & all the toudans sitting around a campfire having *sniffles* precious moments... ; A;

Rihanna - Umbrella LMAO this one is very on-the-nose but also just thinking about it's hilarious, i couldn't resist. (plus like... it's a jam. also lyrically it actually does fit!)

Dreamcatcher - Boca be prepared to see a lot of dreamcatcher w/me, they're my Favorite(TM). anyway Boca is about protecting someone from harsh words (better translation is "if those thornlike words / start to hurt you / i won't let them open that boca (mouth)") AND has a very rainy/stormy atmosphere which makes it perfect. yes i know my toudans are Sword Warriors yes i still want to protect them as best i can!! (it's more about like. bullying and hate but yknow. similar sentiments...shhh...)

The Weather Girls - It's Raining Men ...............i don't think i need to explain myself on this >.> (THO HAHA IMAGINE IF THIS WAS HOW SWORDS MANIFESTED IN HIS HONMARU i'm dead)

ToppDogg -Annie (Anniversary) another 'anniversary' type song, i think it speaks for itself. saniwa💙toudans!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Clean Bandit - Rather Be lyrically, yes!! being a saniwa is not an easy or peaceful job by any means but yuichi wouldn't want to be anywhere else <3 also the song makes me think of rainy/cool moist days!

Seventeen - Home seventeen shows up a decent amount too, but what can i say? the songs fit lol. saniwa-toudan relationships might not always be 100% sunshine and rainbows, but... they are home, no?

Twice - Feel Special GOD. this song came out while i was very into tkrb a few years ago and so that plus the song itself made me actually cry when i first watched it lol. it's so fitting though, i think from toudan or yuichi's perspective. for yuichi, he clearly struggles with his self-worth, and is...well, he's no stranger to a breakdown. but ... he's got so many touken danshi around him who love him

Girls' Generation - Talk Talk no explanation needed methinks! <3 just comparing a love to the rain

SF9 - The Beat Goes On okay this song is just like... pure beach episode, everyone gathering in the sunset and having a great time being free with each other. i include it on so many playlists where i just want to imagine a joyful time with the whole cast of whatever, it just has to go here too, even if you'd be hard-pressed to get yuichi on a beach lol

Yuju - Play this is just strictly for the vibes. i don't know that yuichi has someone who dipped and hurt him like that (but it could be interesting i guess lol). the song just is perfect for the rainy atmosphere

Dreamcatcher - Piri i told u prepare for dreamcatcher lol. anyway this song is literally about like... depression and getting to a point where you need a lifeline. very yuichi, unfortunately

New Politics - One of Us another "do i even need to explain?" song ;u; it's definitely on my tkrb playlist lol. also the lyric video is kinda fun lol imagining it as different toudans at the table

Gfriend - Summer Rain just very nice rainy vibes.

Super Junior - Why I Like You this song (the whole album really) has always given me rainy/humid vibes. but also... love <3 (ofc not necessarily romantic in yuichi's case! but yknow what i mean)

Flo Rida - My House almost a joke addition but like... also almost not a joke LOL

David Cook - Come Back to Me okay this song is tkrb playlist because it's like... 100% kiwame send-off vibes. i initially added it after watching hanamaru, thinking about kashuu sending off yasusada, but i think it also suits most sendoffs very well. i wanna cry. sobs....

SF9 - RPM So I don't have a good reason for adding this to yuichi's or my tkrb playlist other than it makes me think of using time travel to go on a mission. also i just REALLY like the song... and listening to it with the rain going is mmmwah *chef kiss*. just imagine a team going up to the [time travel device] all ready to fucking GO, looking all badass in the mist and shit. and then PPEPWWW they go! and now they're ready to fuck shit up (to un-fuck the timeline)... it's the VIBES AGAIN

Darren Hayes - Bloodstained Heart no words needed <3

Dreamcatcher - Over the Sky another anniversary fan song from dc! this song just makes me so happy and like. energized. spring time. anime conventions. so it's on my tkrb playlist, but it's also a sweet and fun song so, yknow, puts it on.

Ravi - Lean on Me is this yuichi talking to a toudan? or a toudan talking to yuichi? or ? who knows, but either way, i like it. sweet and reliable.

Seventeen - Thanks just... a song about being so grateful to know and love someone.

Major Lazer - Cold Water (the one song with justin bieber i listen to unironically lol)

Seventeen - Holiday oh man just LISTEN to it, even without the lyrics it's just like. fun!! party!! chill!!

SF9 - Bibora a jam. a rainy jam. but also maybe some parts of it speak to yuichi.

Jinsoul (Loona) - Singing in the Rain KNK - Rain Super Junior - Raining Spell for Love Strictly for the vibes.

JBJ - True Colors oh man. this song makes me cry too. my heart...

Starley - Call on Me Another song that I think explains itself lol

Dreamcatcher - Reason yet another anniversary song from deukae but it fits. through all the triumphs and hardships, despair and joy, the toudans in this citadel have become his whole reason for being and they inspire him to keep going and do better and be someone they can depend on and be proud to call their saniwa.

[nevada-wrytes]

Chapter 4 - The Chipped Statue

Content warnings: Death, gore, alcohol mention

Link to the previous chapter and link to the next chapter

The air felt static, like it was going to burst.

The partygoers, like a flock of nervous sheep, began shooting wary glances at the darkening sky. There were no stars tonight.

People began to leave, mostly underclassmen who couldn't afford missing class tomorrow. Others soon followed, and in a frantic attempt to get people to stay, the host stole the karaoke microphone again.

"Hey, hey, guys! Don't leave yet— there's still some surprises left in store." Everyone stopped shuffling out. Heads turned to Ronnie on his makeshift stage, a picnic table that, in poor taste, held the framed portrait of the dead girl. The karaoke machine was still playing Carly Rae Jepson's Call Me Maybe.

"Yeah, that's better! Stay a little longer- I promise nothing can spoil our plans. The weather isn't going to get worse until the morning!"

Raven vaguely remembered the weather report stating storms by this evening, which means they were long overdue. It seemed no one else liked to watch the five AM news, though, because others seemed to eagerly believe Ronnie.

Raven shifted his gaze to the tree line, where strong wind beat the bare branches. He hmped. The sky felt absolutely heavy with rain, but he wasn't about to burst the fun.

A presence at his shoulder– lavender perfume told him it was Dahlia. She was back and pulling him onto the dance floor. The song was loud and had a heavy bass, something one could only jump to. She didn't seem to mind, bobbing up and down and screaming the lyrics like everyone else. Raven smiled, Dahlia was too precious. He'd have to tell her how cute she was later when he kissed her goodnight.

Bodies began crowding them as more popular songs came on. Between body odor, humidity, and alcohol fumes, the air felt impossibly tight. Thankfully whatever drink Dahlia had given him earlier was working wonders to untangle the knot in his stomach so he was more than happy to bounce and sing and spin around.

His head felt so light, he can't remember the last time life felt so good.

Once one song ended, and before another could begin, a group of people meandered off and came back with a box dutifully marked in a series of bright colors and explosion warnings.

Someone had brought fireworks.

By the birds.

Raven scrambled out of the circle— it seemed they were going to light them in the middle of the dance floor— and almost had a heart attack when he realized Dahlia wasn't right next to him. Shit.

Then he remembered she'd just gone to the bathroom, and he willed his heart to slow down.

They passed around sparklers and soon the scene lit up with thousands of crackling lights. No one seemed to care that flying sparks and dry November woods were a bad combination. But that wasn't even the worst of it. Dammit- Raven needed to find Dahlia and get the hell out.

He creeped around towards the front of the house, having seen Dahlia go this way, but there was nothing save for a few drunk students leaning over steps or trash cans.

A firework launched into the sky with a whine. It popped, ringing like a thousand shots, and Raven had to cover his ears. He refused to let this stop him from his mission, so he marched on.

The front door was open and he stepped through. He could only guess where a bathroom would be in this grand of a cabin, but maybe if he waited by the hall she'd have to pass him. And then he could grab her and go home and there would be no more fireworks or drunk people or parties.

"Dahlia?" He caught sight of a poofy dress turning a corner. Raven made to follow after her but was stopped when a drunk highschool boy came running through the deck doors, a lit firework in his hands.

Raven's eyes widened. Was he really about to set off a firework inside?

The boy turned to Raven, wide-eyed and giddy, and pointed the rocket right at his chest. All Raven could do was duck and cover his ears.

Behind him, glass exploded in a shower of tiny shards. The air filled with clouds of powdered sheetrock. Something began to burn.

Raven cursed. He turned away from the boy who could only stare, white as a ghost, at the consequences of his actions.

Raven did not care. He had bigger things to deal with, and Dahlia must already be so far away. He ran out the back door she'd disappeared through and was met with a twisty path right into the woods.

Of course, he barreled straight through. Behind him, firework after firework exploded over his head. And what began as screams of awe and wonder soon turned bloodcurdling.

ˇ

Smoke filled the air behind him, the dangers of dry November woods were real. Maybe the storm would be enough to put it out but that was a big maybe.

As he got further and further from the party, the screams grew distant, and all he could hear were the rumbling from the clouds and the ruffles of feathers from above. The click clack of beaks told him they were waiting.

No, please, he begged, pushing himself to go faster. Lightning struck something in the distance. Abruptly, the path ended with a cliff— the back of a retaining wall— and Raven jumped.

He landed dozens of feet below, a fall that was just fine for his joints but would have been detrimental had a human attempted to jump-

Raven turned around, because, in his gut, he knew what awaited him.

If a human were to run into the woods, drunk and laughing at the colorful lights bursting above them, then not notice when the path ended and the cliff began, then surely they'd trip and tumble off, body rolling just a couple feet away into the dry leaves and timber.

Raven gulped. He recognized the poofy dress that stuck out of those leaves.

It began to rain.

ˇˇ

A long time ago, a sculptor was carving life into a cold block of rock. The attention to detail was immaculate— muscles pulled taunt over smooth white limbs, flesh prodded and poked by invisible hands, a ribcage open and bursting with all the plump organs inside— it was a projection of life itself.

However, there was a moment when the sculptor, distracted, accidentally struck the mallet too hard. A simple ding, and the perfect immaculate structure was no more. A sizable chunk had been chipped away from the heart deep in the chest cavity. The sculptor cursed and threw down his tools, for it could never be fixed.

That's how Raven felt as he knelt down to gently turn the body over. Dahlia's eyes were open, still staring in wonder at the sky.

Another firework went off, mixing with the storm.

Training kicked in automatically, and Raven frantically began searching for a soul, a link, a tether, anything- but the body was empty. Someone had gotten to it first.

For the first time in a while, Raven felt like he was going to cry.

And then, like a gentle hand coaxing the feelings away, everything turned off.

Boom. Szzzszszsz.

He could not feel the still warm body under his hands or the cold rain pooling on his shirt or the grief choking his words or the guilt threatening to drop on top of him like an anvil.

There was nothing like remorse going through his head, yet he methodically prepared the body anyways, smoothing down her dress, crossing her hands over her chest, and lodging a coin under her tongue for the ferryman. It was a limited edition one too, he'd like that.

Raven knew a thousand prayers, but couldn't say anything at the moment. He glanced up at the canopy overhead, where a thousand beady eyes stared at him. They ruffled their feathers. Another firework went off with a boom. The forest began to shake with thunder.

He glanced at the body, then back at the birds, then again at the body, and finally, turned around to the distance, where the trees were lit up brighter than they should have been at night even with the rain.

The flames would find them soon enough, but that didn't mean they'd have to waste what was here.

He knelt down again.

"I'm sorry Dahlia," he said, but he really wasn't. Was he? He cradled her face, her perfect face, flicking off the rain, then went for an eye. Digging a fingernail in, the eyeball leapt out of its socket with a satisfying and slick pop.

He studied the organ, weighing how grimy or dirty it would be after tumbling around in the dirt, but he was willing to risk the chance of disease if it meant the beast in his head would stop howling.

He popped it into his mouth and it burst like an oversized grape. He did the same with the other eye.

It was quite chewy.

The birds above him cackled.

"Raven king! Raven king!"

Raven got up, brushing dirt off his pants and wiping his hands free of eye goo.

"Well," He looked up at his unkindness with a smile. "Tonight, a feast. Eat!"

The birds understood and flocked down, surrounding the body. It looked like a mass of writhing, shiny wings.

Raven stepped away from the mutated thing and his smile dropped. Sense was slowly coming back, and he could smell the wildfire smoke as close as ever, as well as hear the screams for help from the cabin up at the top. Perhaps they had run out of fireworks.

He didn't care. He never did, because that sculptor had smashed his heart too many times, to the point where there was barely a chunk left. There was no point in trying to fix his mistakes. All he could do was move forward.

ˇˇˇ

"And on today's breaking news: a forest fire started in Weston County nearly ran out of control had firefighters not responded fast enough. Although the cause is believed to be from an electrical fire in a cabin, we are still investigating whether or not it may have been set on purpose after the burned body of a missing teenage girl was found on the property. She had last been seen partying with her boyfriend, whom, eyewitness reports claim, later fled the scene shortly after her disappearance. A trail camera captured grainy footage of what appears to be a tall teenage boy dressed in black running through the woods. If anyone has any information please contact the Weston County Police Offic-"

Click. The screen turned black as someone set the remote down. They stirred in their chair.

"Well, well, well, Raven King. Looks like we finally caught you."

End of Part One: The Raven King

Tag list: (ask to be added/removed) @thebonecarver @victorfrankingstein @confused-as-all-hell @iambecomeyourvillain @brekkercookie @fallen-from-olympus @purpl-cryptid @reyyya @thecurlychameleon @naz-yalensky @thesexypanda-boo @kazoo-the-demjin @twelve-kinds-of-trouble @crime-mastergogo

[talentforlying]

@thedipshits: 🎵 – one song you just recently found & 🎵 – one song that's been a long-time favorite! (: — SONGS I LOVE

francis - haley heynderickx, max garcía conover! found this last week, and i was just talking a minute ago about how there's something absolutely freaky about constantine that's easy to pick up on no matter what disguise he's wearing: a sort of 'nothing left to lose' deadness that lingers on the edge of perception at all times.

yeah you had a place in the kingdom kid / yeah the pretty people are so easy to forgive / but there's something on your skin that you can't get clean / there's a fawn in the fence that you can't get free / so you're asking everybody who they think they really are / and you feel a little better till the sky goes dark / and the ghosts / yeah but you already know

i think the overall tone of this song really captures that underlying unease that comes with being in his presence when he's not masking thoroughly enough, and then the lyrics also address how he likes to expose other people's ugliness, not because it'll save the people around them, but because it makes him feel better to know that he's not the only fucked-up person around.

dream a little dream of me - the mamas & papas! now when i say long-time favorite, i mean this specific cover was one of the lullabies my parents played for me as a little kid SHDJK but it's also the title of constantine's initial sandman appearance! it's very dear to me, and also very bittersweet in a constantine context because it reminds me so much of the last time he and kit saw each other, when she was leaving in the middle of the night and he stopped just short of telling her he loved her:

stars fading but i linger on, dear / still craving your kiss / i'm longing to linger 'til dawn, dear / just saying this

this song reminds me that he is very lonely at heart, and that the kindest thing he thinks he can leave people is a memory that isn't bad. and the likelihood of him succeeding in that tends to be very slim.

+ 2 songs for doyle, because i love him: anybody else - dom fera! the sheet ghost album cover vibes in my mind with your description of the magic 8 ball & prophetic visions, and the picture you use for his bio makes me picture him chilling in his office and then getting jumpscared by the ghost in the song just chatting with him.

she said, i'm screaming warnings, dressed like mournings / black tattoos, doing voodoo, pouring / out together in any weather you'll come

and then necromancin' dancin' - bear ghost also feels very fun for him! idk why exactly, the vibes are just on. it's also just an absolute banger, so there's that!

[darlingian]

these remind me of the olden days of facebook notes! loved them then, love them now!

your name: Chani. (shaw-knee)

where in the world are you? Winnipeg, Manitoba. (But my heart is in Ontario.)

your favorite color: forest green and a deep light blue

a song that always puts you in a good mood: "Rather Be" by Clean Bandit. It has the best of vibes. A sort of bittersweet hope.

your favorite flower: Forget-me-nots and lily-of-the-valley.

it’s a beautiful sunny day and you’re going on a picnic with friends. what snack are you bringing to share? I love bringing my lavender lemonade. And I'd probably bring some homemade madelines.

bumblebees or butterflies? Bumble bees. I'm so infatuated with them. When I was a kid I collected them when I found their dead little bodies and kept them in a box with my snake skin and antlers. Like a good little witchling I suppose. Haha!

describe your ideal weather: sunshowers.  

what are you reading right now? I have a couple on the go. Trying to finish a couple ARCs, I still haven't finished Spare, and I started Young Mungo.

museum date or nature walk? Museum. I freaking love museums. One of my first dates with my now wife was going to as many museums in our city in one day as we could!

it’s movie night in the park and your turn to choose, what are we watching? Music and Lyrics!

and finally, share some sunny words for your friends & followers: I'm going to take the opportunity to thank everyone I've interacted with in the gallavich fandom. I am often worried I am too earnest. I put my heart out too quickly. But here goes. I truly am so thankful to have been welcomed with such open arms. I haven't been doing well mental healthwise lately, and have felt so alone and isolated. I came back to a show I adored in the past and fell back in love with characters I'd long set aside. I pushed myself to take a leap and try to engage with other people who love these characters as much as I do and don't judge me for it. My reception into your fold has been the sweetest thing. Just know that when you talk about my stuff, refer to me by name, take the time to discuss with me, even just read my tags, it means more than I can properly express. All my love <3

tagging some lovely people: @gardenerian @gallawitchxx @celestialmickey @suchagallabitch @babygirlmickey @southsidestory

[1-800-taxfraud]

What do you think?

I listen to the faint sound of our stereo floating from the kitchen into the living room, barely loud enough for me to hear the lyrics while dad and I eat out shitty freezer burnt tv dinner and watch the news. I never did like the news, it was boring and always put me to sleep. All the reporters had to talk about was the weather (which is never interesting until tornado season), and our football team that I swear has never won a game. There was never anything life shattering like car chases and robberies. Hell, even homicide. But tonight is different, tonight there is going to be something so big, so life shattering that people will remember it for decades. I push the peas around on my plate that are far too mushy for my liking, when “BREAKING NEWS!” flashes across the screen. The reporter is absolutely gorgeous but every Sunday after church she heads to the Mallards trailer to buy crystal. There isn't a single person in this town that is a truly good person. Everyone here has done awful things. Even me. “This just in,” she begins. “Multiple bodies were just discovered on the dead end of Timberland Street that all look to be the result of a mass homicide. The families of victims were contacted and they have asked us to not disclose their names or any other information that could be linked to them.” she paused. “That being said, all but one of the victims were dead upon arrival. Unfortunately this individual shortly died of blood loss from what appears to be a stab wound. However, before they had died they stated that the killer that committed this heinous crime has a scar on their left forearm. That is all the information we have for right now, but we will update you the moment I know more, in the meantime stay safe everyone.” There is terror in her eyes but her voice stays calm the whole time she speaks. She is obviously scared, I mean who wouldn't be scared with a mass killer on the loose. Dad appears to be more focused on the tv than I was because when I stand up and say, “hey dad I'm gonna use the bathroom.” he hardly acknowledges me and keeps his eyes glued on the tv screen as he flips his knife open and closed over and over again. He only ever does this when he's invested in something. I walk into the kitchen and pull down the sleeves of my sweatshirt the moment I'm out of his sight, hoping he doesn't notice the three inch healed laceration that I never mentioned to him, or the dark crimson blood under my short bitten nails and speckled across my cold pale skin. “Oh, and is it my turn to do the dishes”? I shout into the living room. My heart feels like it's about to explode out of my chest. Something isn't right. He doesn't know, does he? He can't, there is absolutely no way. “No, I think it's my turn today, but when you're done in the bathroom we need to talk about something.” he calls back, attention still on the tv and his knife.

[lovecolibri]

SaL anon here friend and it's song time!!! So my first thought for this episode was indeed to go with Woodwork as you said, but on further thought I decided to go with Touch. Part of this was because how this song is such a good reflection of both TK and Carlos when they first meet. TK feeling lifeless and grey, Carlos resigned to the idea he'll never have the love he wants. But for the episode, i feel like the lyrics can describe Carlos's thoughts as he's dying and wanting to come back. Enjoy!!

Hi my friend! Sorry this is late, my weekend was not the weekend I anticipated it being! But I saw this come in and I just had to laugh because I guessed Woodwork, and ALMOST put the other song I was thinking of was Touch, but decided to just guess one song and then, it turns out, THAT was the song you picked!! Great minds indeed! And I think this is a really good choice so let's get to it!

When will I feel this As vivid as it truly is? Fall in love in a single touch And fall apart when it hurts too much

Uuuugh this is SUCH a good marker for where TK is during this episode, because we KNOW from season 1, and from his mom's death how he can shut down when he's really upset, instead of being brimming with all the big, vivid emotions we usually see from him. He spent a lot of this episode in crisis mode and you can see he's worried but not the frantic kind of worry we would expect (until he finds Carlos) because he's fighting SO hard to just stay present and do what needs to be done, putting the emotion away like Gabriel said. I have a feeling that when everyone left for the night and the hospital lights were out, TK fell apart watching Carlos sleep.

Can we skip past near-death clichés Where my heart restarts, as my life replays? All I want is to flip a switch Before something breaks that cannot be fixed

Oof, oof, oof. This is very rude after Carlos LITERALLY DIED for a few seconds there at the end! 😭😭😭 But circling back to before when he was still being held captive, you can see all of this running across his face. Every time Trudy mentions TK you can see the future Carlos thinks is never going to happen flash before his eyes. When he sees TK at the door and Trudy holding the knife, you can see the horror of what might happen in his face. When Carlos is screaming for help after making sure TK wasn't around to be in danger, you can see him trying to escape before it's too late. Rafa just absolutely slayed this episode.

I know, I know the sirens sound Just before the walls come down Pain is a well-intentioned weatherman Predicting God as best he can But God, I wanna feel again

This is so perfect for this show because "I know, I know the sirens sound" is perfect for first responders but it feels so different when it's someone you love that the sirens are for! I'm also thinking of Carlos being grateful for the pain that keeps him awake and alert because it means he's not dead yet, and TK welcoming the pain of finding Carlos unconscious and in need of CPR because at least he FOUND him, and now he has something to DO instead of just looking and hoping they get a clue.

Rain or shine, I don't feel a thing Just some information upon my skin I miss the subtle aches when the weather changed The barometric pressure we always blamed All I want is to flip the switch Before something breaks that cannot be fixed

This part makes me think of TK just going through the motions all day, and fighting the panic because he HAD to find Carlos, and Carlos trying to bury his panic and pain so he can connect with Trudy and try to escape. But it also really makes me think of their whole relationship, the aches and pains from disagreements, and the little hurts that they have gotten so much better at navigating together. Plus "All I want is to flip the switch before something breaks that cannot be fixed" is just...SUCH a raw line for something like this with Carlos and TK having a bit of a fight and then Carlos going missing and THEN finding out he could be the victim of a serial killer. Like, talk about wanting to go back and fix things before it's too late!

Invisible machinery These moving parts inside of me Well, they've been shutting down for quite some time Leaving only rust behind

Well I know, I know the sirens sound Just before the walls come down Pain is a well-intentioned weatherman Predicting God as best he can But God, I wanna feel again Oh God, I wanna feel again

This is just so so much the CPR scene. Carlos as been on the edge of death all day, preparing for it, knowing he will likely never see TK or his family again. And then a miracle happens and he gets Trudy to set him free but it's not enough and the drugs take him out and he's shutting down when TK come in and he hears the sirens outside. And then the TK of it all, with him shutting down all day just trying to get through the day and stay focused on finding Carlos because he will NOT give up on him like it seems the detective has. And you know he saw Carlos laying there and just felt so, so, so hollow like his own heart was rusted shut and would never work right again. I can imagine he relished the pain of dropping to his knees on the hard floor, the burn in his arms from forcing Carlos' heart to just keep pumping because it all means that he's still alive, but he's not feeling anything because Carlos is his HEART and he can't feel his emotions without his heart!

Down my arms, a thousand satellites Suddenly discover signs of life

And here, we have the hopeful end. The gasping breath as Carlos wakes, the rush of emotion TK can finally feel because Carlos is ALIVE, the jolt of fear followed by the balm of safety Carlos must feel when he sees his dad and TK came for him, I just...😭😭😭😭

Great choice as always my friend! And tomorrow we get some Marjan finally?! Can't wait! I'd also loooove at least 1 Tarlos scene to deal with some of the fallout here but that might have to wait a week. But fingers crossed!