#be honest was it a butter burger................

[deathchill]

Hi Blake I need to let you know that today I ate Culvers for the first time due to your influence and it was just about the best cheeseburger that I've ever had. You've attracted another one to the Culver's cult

im an influencer now amen

[nikkisheep]

Kill Me Slowly

Dean Winchester x pregnant!wife!reader

Warnings: ANGST, cursing, happy beginning, pregnant reader, death

Summary: You find out that Dean died and you don’t know how to react.

Words: 2,075

To be honest, I cried writing this and I will say, this is probably my saddest piece.

You danced around the bunker as Dean’s music blasted from the speakers. You were cleaning the library when you got bored and put on music so time would go by quicker. You sing loudly with the music as you dust the shelves, the books, the tables, the corners, everything you could think of. Getting finished with the library, you move on to the kitchen. You decide to make a pie and some burgers for the boys when they get back. You were nervous about them being gone without Castiel since his death but you trusted that they would be okay.

Mixing the pie crusts, you realized that I didn't have apples for the pie so you decided to run down to the supermarket to get some. I borrow the truck from the garage and drive to the store. There an older woman needed help with selecting apples.

“Ma’am, could you grab that apple for me?” She asked kindly.

“Of course, I actually need some myself.”

You help gather the apples for her and she turns to you to thank you.

“You know, my husband really likes apples and today would have been his 90th birthday,” she says sadly.

“I am so sorry for your loss. I actually am making a pie for my husband when he gets home from work,” You smile softly at her and she looks down to my belly.

“Oh, congrats. Is it a boy or a girl?” She gushes.

“We aren’t sure just yet but Dean, my husband, hopes it’s a girl. He says that he always wanted a daughter but I hope it’s a boy so he could be just like his father,” You smile as you look down at the growing baby bump that you had been trying to cover.

- - - - 

You come home to the bunker and go to the kitchen. Dean and Sam weren’t home just yet so you had a little bit more time before they were to walk through the door. You cut the apples and your belly growls so you get the peanut butter from the cabinet and dipped a few apple slices in to eat. You put on some music and danced along as you baked the pie and cooked the burgers. 

Your hands rubbed the seasoning deep into the meat as you heated the grill. You threw in some fries to be made fresh and you pulled the apple pie from the oven and smiled as the smell washed over you and the bunker. Once everything was ready, you jumped in the shower.

Thoughts of seeing Dean after so long flooded your mind and you smiled as you imagined the feeling of his skin against yours once more. You open his body wash and shampoo to use them. Dean always liked it when you smelt like him. It let him know that you were his. You run your hands up and down your body as you wash yourself and you relax into the hot water as your daydream of Dean continues. 

Getting dressed into a cute sundress, Dean picked it up when he was on a hunt about a month ago and thought it would be beautiful on you, and you headed to the kitchen and started making plates because you heard the Impala pull up into the garage. 

- - - -

Placing Dean’s pie on the table, you hear the door to the bunker open and footsteps begin to fall down the stairs. You gather up Dean’s plate to bring it to the table and you have a big smile on your face as you start walking to the table once again.

“Dean, I made your favorite. I figured that you would want a nice, hot apple pie for when you get ho-” You get interrupted when you round the corner when you only see Sam and his face is all red, with dark circles around his eyes, and his eyes were bloodshot. You stand there and then look around him for your dear husband.

“Oh Sam, you look horrible,” You sigh. “Where is Dean? Surely, he wouldn’t still be in the garage pulling out all the bags instead of greeting his wife?” 

You laughed softly, nervous.

“Dean isn’t here.” Is all he said.

He stumbled down the step to the dining room and sat at the table with his head in his hands. You were confused. If Dean wasn’t here, where was he?’’

“Where is Dean?”

Silence.

“Sam, where is Dean?” You demand an answer and this time when Sam looked up at you, you could just read his expression. Tears in his eyes, sobs being held back with all of his might. 

“No,” You say quietly. “No, no, no!”

The glass plate in your hand fell to the ground and shattered. Dean’s bacon cheeseburger that you made landed on the ground and fell apart. Your body started to quake as tears filled your eyesight. Your knees got weak and you let out an earth-shattering sob fall from your mouth. You felt a pain in your chest that felt like it was squeezing your lungs until they could barely constrict any further. Breathing began to become painful as your tears fell more frequently. You start to hyperventilate as your knees give out and Sam has to race to catch you before you land onto the broken glass that laid on the floor. Your hand got cut on the glass and you could barely even feel it. Your sobs turned violent as you begged for Dean to be there with you. 

“Dean! No, no, this isn’t true. Dean!” You start to shout, hoping, praying that he would walk right through the bunker door with a smile on his face with his green eyes shining.

“Shhh,” Sam said as he smoothed your hair, his arms cradling you as you grew to be weaker from crying.

Your body shook as you let out the painful wails that were buried deep inside your soul. You couldn’t breathe. You couldn’t hear. You couldn’t see. You couldn’t do anything but feel the pain that was tearing your heart and soul into pieces that would never be repaired. 

- - - -

The walk to your shared room with Dean felt like it was ten miles long. Your face hurts from crying, sobbing over the loss of your husband. You laid in bed, your hand was bandaged by Sam after he basically had to pin you to the ground to fix it for you, thinking about everything that had happened. 

Four Days Ago

You held out your hand for Dean to take it as you climbed in bed. You kissed his pink lips softly as his hand rubbed over your growing belly. He was being careful about everything around you since you told him the news.

“What do you hope it to be?” You asked as you played with his freshly washed hair as he laid his head on your stomach, hoping to feel the baby.

“I already know that it’s going to be a girl because she is just like her mama,” He said with a smile.

“You know it’s a girl?”

“Don’t call her an “it”.” You laughed lightly.

“Okay, why do you hope she’s a girl?’’

“Because, I have always pictured our first baby to be a girl and then when we have a second one, it would be a boy so she can be a big sister and beat up the boys who try to mess with our little boy,” He said with a very bright smile. You smiled at him and pulled him in for a kiss.

- - - -

Day One: Removing

You start to bring in boxes from the truck and head straight to your room. You walk in and start to gather Dean’s belongings up. You grab all of his shirts and throw them into the box. You grab his blanket and fold it up to put it in the box as well. You gather up his PJ’s, his pillows, his jeans, his Jelly Beans that you told him that they belonged in the kitchen instead of the room. You open the top drawer and find his underwear and you throw them in the box as well. You tear the room apart, removing anything Dean from the room. You didn’t want to be reminded of the fact that Dean wasn’t here anymore.

- - - - 

Day Six: Remembering

You stare at the boxes that sit on the other side of the room and you walk over. The first thing inside the box was your wedding ring. You had taken it off because you couldn’t stop crying every time you moved your left hand which gave you a glimpse of the ring.

You turned it over and tears welled up but you quickly put the ring away and then you found the tape that you had made him when he was away for a case on Christmas. You put it in the player.

“Dean, I miss you but I know you are doing what you need to do. I just wish that you had let me go with you.” The frame moves to the kitchen. 

“I made all of your favorites and I really hope that I don’t stress eat them all because that would not be a good idea,” You laughed as the camera shook.

You turned it off and then you looked at more tapes. One was when you moved all of your stuff into his room. You watched as you and Dean were smiling sweetly at each other. You were looking at the camera and he was looking at you. His green eyes bored into the side of your face with a loving gaze. He kissed your cheek and you let out a loud laugh at his gesture. You were happy then. That was before you had gotten married. You were so excited that Dean wanted you to move to his room and you were acting like a giddy teenager who just got asked to Prom. 

- - - -

One day later: Acceptance; The Funeral

Sam and you were the only people at the funeral. Dean’s body rested on the wooden stand and Sam had to hold you so you didn’t collapse. You were crying and sobbing but you were overcome by grief that you briefly forgot about Sam’s grief. You lost your husband but he lost his brother.

“Sam, can I do it?” You asked, you knew that he had done this for so many people, you didn’t want him to do it for his brother.

Sam gave you Dean’s lighter and you lit the flame bottle and you threw it on his body. Fire burst into the sky as soon as the flame touched the stand. You looked down at the lighter in your hands and you didn’t want to get rid of it but you knew that you had to. You wanted Dean to be at peace. 

As the lighter soars through the air, flashes of your wedding day, you telling Dean about your pregnancy, your meeting, you working cases with him, the nights of passion, the nights of tears, the hunts, the singing, the dancing, the reading, the kisses, everything that you ever did together flashed through your mind all at once and you felt a weight being lifted off your shoulders. 

You grab Sam’s hand and the two of you walk back to the bunker to eat a burger and a slice of apple pie in honor of Dean Winchester’s life.

Bonus scene:

Three months later:

You lay in the hospital bed with Sam sitting beside you, holding a pink baby blanket and a blue baby blanket.

“It’s twins. A boy and a girl” the doctor said.

She left and Sam gently placed your babies in your loving arms. One look and you saw that they both had Dean’s green eyes and his freckles. You start to cry as you cradle your children and Sam wraps his arms around you and kisses your hair.

“What are their names?” He asks.

“The girl is going to be named Charlie.” 

“And what about the boy?”

“His name is Dean.” You looked down at the little boy in your arms.

“His name is Dean.”

[itsnathateasy]

"you’re a terrible driver" (connie x reader)

word count: 1,1k

warnings: you can't drive but connie kind of makes you

author’s note: brackets are for text messages!

(i should mention idk how to drive, sorry if the details are off!)

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

the day of your driver's license exam was steadily approaching and you couldn’t help but feel the anxiety build up. no matter what you did to keep yourself occupied, your thoughts kept moving back to the upcoming exam. you needed more practice, that was certain. most of your classes were a disaster and your anxiety barely allowed you to stay focused on the steering wheel. as these thoughts kept circling in your mind, you felt your phone vibrate. it's a message from the groupchat with sasha, connie and jean.

[connie] "hey guys wanna hang out later?"

you desperately wanted to get out of the house and the stressful thoughts that were suffocating you. wasting no time, you responded with a quick "omw to our spot" and headed to your room to get dressed. you reached the gang's usual meeting spot, only to see that nobody else made it there yet. to be honest, you were so into your head that paid no attention to the continuous buzzing of your phone. as you waited for the guys to arrive, you went through the messages that you hadn't read earlier.

[sasha] "sorry guys, can't make it"

[jean] "already out w mikasa, wish me luck!"

you started to panic. did this mean you'd be hanging out with connie alone? not that you minded, on the contrary! you've had a crush on him for the longest time, but his and the gang's adventurous and fun vibe never allowed you to make a move. you almost felt as if you'd ruin your friend group by initiating anything. although both sasha and jean kept hinting stuff at the both of you, you pretended to pay zero attention. for that reason, you were careful to keep your contact with connie to a minimum outside of the group.

connie viewed the messages but didn't respond, nor did he text or call you privately. you'd made up your mind to wait for a bit before leaving, assuming he wouldn't be coming at all. a few minutes passed before you felt a slight tap on your shoulder and turned around only to be greeted by the most heartwarming smile you'd ever laid eyes upon.

"my mum made this weird sweet potato, peanut butter brownie thing, so i brought you a slice to snack on" he said while munching on a piece of the brownie himself and simultaneously extending his left arm to hand you the slice.

"you sure eat a lot for a guy as lean as you"

"when you have a mum who cooks as good as mine, you ought to have these kind of problems sorted" he added with a smile and you couldn't help but smile back.

"so, what are you in the mood for? i was thinking of burgers and milkshakes, sound good? my car's just around the corner"

"oh man, you just had to mention your car, didn't you". a startled look appeared on his face.

"something wrong?" he questioned. you briefly explained what was troubling you and he gave you a sympathetic look.

"well, there's only one way that i can help. follow me!" you obeyed, thinking that the promise of junk food would ease your mind a bit. his car really wasn't that far and you reached it in no time. he hit the "unlock" button and opened the driver's door while you made your way to the passenger's but were immediately halted.

"where do you think you're going dude?" his expression seemed purely puzzled.

"uhm the passenger seat? i dont have my license yet"

"psst no biggie. i was opening the door for you. hop into the driver's seat"

----------------------------------------------------------------------

"connie this was a terrible idea" your voice was trembling, barely reaching your ears. the amount of stress you were going through was indescribable. "nah youre doing fine babe". your hands fixed on the steering wheel, eyes focused on the road, cautious not make any wrong moves. "hey hey, don't panic, you're honestly doing fine." connie was the best at reassuring you, but your heart kept racing and racing. on top of it all, you had to deal with connie being as cute and helpful as now. and with the fact that he kept calling you "babe". and rested his hand on your thigh.

"now just make a left here and we're almost at the burger place"

"connie seriously, i can't turn here. there are like four lanes. let's just stop somewhere and you take the wheel"

"nah you can do it" connie said and placed his hand on top of yours on the steering wheel, guiding you through it all. "just move over to this lane aaaand there you go! now won't you look at you all driving and shit!" his face was all lit up, a bright smile printed on his face.

"connie, we literally almost died like at least twice. i'm never driving with you ever again"

connie instructed you on how to park near the entrance of the burger house, a procedure that lasted twenty torturous minutes, but after you made it, you took a deep breath and felt a little better.

connie looked so proud of you. "you're really going to do great on your exam, you've nothing to worry about! this was a tough route you know"

"you've been so patient with me connie. honestly, i wouldn't stand me. thank you!" you said and reached out your hands to give him a hug, which he thankfully returned. "anytime love". you thought he was going to pull away but he gently kissed your neck instead.

you pulled back at once, surprised with what he just did. you could feel yourself staring at him, and not in a good way, but you were left speechless. for a few seconds. or was it minutes? "man i read it all wrong, didn't i?" the boy sighed and rubbed his hand on the nape of his neck. you were trying so hard to say something, anything, but after all the anxiety-inducing driving and now this, connie actually giving you the attention you'd been craving for who knows how long, there no words left.

"hey dude listen, i'm really sorry, i never meant to-"

he couldn't say anything else because you just closed the distance between you two kissing him on the lips and moving your hands to cup his face. while also, accidentaly, hitting the accelarator.

there was a bang and your heart almost stopped for good. luckily, it was just the industrial bin outside of the burger house.

you and connie both stared at each other for a minute, then at the bin. then you bursted out with laughter.

"honestly babe, you're a terrible driver!" connie said inbetween laughs. "how can you leave the keys in the ignition? was it my incredible driving lesson or my flirting skills?"

"should've booked you for my driving lessons i guess"

[obey-me-mammon-lover69]

im kinda in the mood for angst 😤😤 if u could can i request the demon bros reacting to mc askin " why are you so mean to me" whether they make up or not its up to u

i just started obey me and some of the stuff the bros say get my feelings HURT ajajakkq

Angst is my bread and butter!! This will be fun for me...not for the boys. XD

I tried to make what they’re being mean about sorta vague??

Honestly, I don’t rlly like how this came out, but I don’t like anything I write so maybe it's just me.  I feel I’m missing something...

GN! MC

Warning: Angst

LUCIFER: 

“Why are you so mean to me?” Lucifer froze for a moment when those words left your lips, before quickly brushing them off. He’s a prideful man to a fault obviously. It isn't till hours later that the words start to sink in, he at first assumed you were just being a brat at first but after that, you had refused to talk to him for the rest of the day and it was only now, he was considering if he truly was being a bit to mean to you? No... no...it is the human that is wrong...but his brain continues to nag to him.

How he apologizes:  In a very subtle manner that makes it obvious that he still thinks he’s not fully in the wrong but wants you to stop ignoring him. He gives you a stuffed animal and a letter detailing what had occurred and how he maybe, just maybe...was a bit mean. If you accept that is up to you.

MAMMON:

“Why are you so mean to me?”  This hits Mammon hard, he immediately devolves into stutters and frantically tries to go back on whatever he said. Most likely call you names such as, 'stupid human' honestly. He knows how it feels to be called names all the time and for people mainly his brothers to be mean to him, and he feels really bad especially if you two have a close relationship.

How he apologizes:  Actually does say that he's sorry, and tries to butter you up with gifts he can't afford. He's still a massive tsundere about it tho, "All these gifts don't mean nothin' alright?! I just feel bad is all..."

LEVIATHAN:

“Why are you so mean to me?”  Chokes on his drink and immediately start fumbling with his words. He completely devolves into degrading himself, calling himself worthless and a filthy otaku who ruined his friendship because he's so horrible. He cannot take the fact he might be mean...even if he sorta is.

How he apologizes:  He doesn't. He just degrades himself so badly you eventually kinda just start to feel bad. Though that doesn't mean you have to accept that apology at all. If degrading himself doesn't work he starts trying to just act like nothing is wrong, but then he starts degrading himself again its a cycle...

ASMODEUS:

“Why are you so mean to me?”  Nearly pokes his eye out with eyeliner. He apologizes instantly, but it's not a good one, to be honest. It's something along the lines of, "Oh honey, I meant nothing by it. I'm sorry. Anyways-" Just brushes right past it. He probably doesn't even really think he's being mean. It isn't till you start ignoring him that it gets him...

How he apologizes:  Goes all out, a luxury spa day, gifts galore, praise and everything. He desperately desires attention and for people to like him, but the opinion he ultimately cares about the most is yours.

SATAN:

“Why are you so mean to me?”  Breaks a glass in his hands instantly. Him, mean? Do you have any idea how much meaner he could be? Takes a deep breath and apologize for any actions you may have perceived as rude. That's right, perceived. He does not admit that he may have actually been mean.

How he apologizes:  That's it, that's his apology. It isn't until he considers how prideful and Lucifer-like he's acting that he genuinely reflects and apologizes for his actions. He thinks his words should be enough, so he doesn't shower you with gifts like his brothers as an apology.

BEELZEBUB:

“Why are you so mean to me?”  Does not let this stop him from swallowing a massive burger whole like a snake. Apologizes immediately for making you feel unwelcome and offers you a single fry from his food. Only one. Honestly the sweetest boy tbh, just goes, "Oh my bad. I'm sorry." And goes on with his day.

How he apologizes:  Though he brushed it off at first and apologized, he still feels bad and continues to apologize over the next few days. Ends up giving you bites of his own food even more often than usual because he feels bad.

BELPHEGOR:

“Why are you so mean to me?”  Laughs. He is not as sweet as his twin. He thought you were joking with him at first and brushed it off because he never considered that he may be a little mean. I mean he can be ALOT meaner, and he knows you know that given what happened between you two...He does not apologize until you start withholding cuddles because you're angry with him.

How he apologizes:  Basically says, "I'm sorry. Can I have cuddles back now?" Tries to find out what he did wrong, and ultimately tries to change how he acts to not be mean to you. Though he struggles because he's very sarcastic and sometimes comes off as very mean.

[rtfics]

I saw it.

And here's my date.

First in line at the theater!

To be honest, it was a noon matinee, so my best friend and I were the line. I expected a long line, not remembering that it was Friday, kids are back in school, most people work, and it was a small, cool, independent theater, while most people were going to an AMC theater to get the BJ2 popcorn tubs and drink cups. There were only 8 more people there, besides my best friend and I, and they were all over 40, so it was quiet, didn't have to worry about people blocking my sight line -- I'm 4' 9", so if anyone sits in front of me I can't see the whole screen -- and we old fogeys don't talk during the movie. So it was great!

1990 Burger King BJ outside the box office.

And Lydia on the other side.

The Riverview Theater is wonderfully maintained in its original 1950s style. And it has the best damn popcorn of any theatre I've ever been too, and with REAL butter!

Copper drinking fountains!

Keaton on the cover!

It's showtime!

[solarmorrigan]

Find the Word Tag Game

Thank you @paperbackribs and @mentallyundone for including me! Most of these are from my Big Bang fic or my Top Secret Valentine's Day project, but there are one or two other things thrown in

My words from paperbackribs were talk, close, heart, suddenly, and realise, and my words from mentallyundone were heat, shut, insane, tight, and over

But first! Zero obligation tags (I'm sorry if I'm catching you twice): @emchant3d, @estrellami-1, @devondespresso, @tboyeddie, @spiritofcamelot, @ato-the-bean, @thestalwartheart, and @azure7539arts

Your words are: Clean, Bright, Dead, Dream, and Star

Rules: We all seem to be making them up a little bit, but so far it's boiled down to "search your WIP's (or any unposted works) for the words you've been given and post a snippet that includes them." Then, come up with some new words and tag everyone or no one or any number in between, it's like Little Caesar's in here

Now! My own answers below the cut:

Talk

“Okay,” Eddie says again. “Steve, is this normal? Like, do I need to get you to a hospital or something? Because I’m gonna be honest, you’re freaking me out a little.” If possible, Steve’s frown deepens at that. He opens his mouth, throat working, but all that he really manages to get out is another, “Hurts.” “I know. I know it does, sweetheart,” Eddie says, shooting for soothing. He reaches up and covers Steve’s hand where it’s still clenched against his scalp, apparently intent on yanking out his own hair, and manages to get him to let go. He weaves his own fingers through in its place, trying to apply pressure without pulling, without hurting. “I need you to talk to me, though. Please. I need to know if you need a doctor.”

Close

It goes quiet, and Hargrove leans in close, murmuring in his ear in a way that makes Steve shudder in revulsion, makes him want to writhe away, but all he can do is lie there as Hargrove asks him, “Who do you work for?” Steve’s mouth is dry and his tongue is thick as he tries to answer. “Scoops. I work for Scoops Ahoy.” Hargrove pulls back, and his grin is a feral slash across his face. “Wrong answer, Harrington.”

Heart

“Why no date, then, Stevie?” Eddie teases. “Waiting for the right person to ask?” Steve shrugs, glancing over at Eddie. “Maybe. Hey, you want these?” Before Eddie can address that “maybe,” Steve is holding out a small, heart-shaped box to him, deep red and tied with a perfect satin bow. Eddie blinks. His heart skips a beat. And then he falls back on the old standby: sarcasm. “You shouldn’t have,” he says drily. “I didn’t. Lindsey gave them to me, but I don’t really want them,” Steve says, shaking the box at Eddie. Almost automatically, Eddie reaches out to take the chocolates. “Is this proper etiquette?” he teases.

Suddenly

They sit in silence as Steve tries to figure out how to eat his burger without dribbling egg all over everything and as Eddie drowns his French toast in butter and syrup, and the food is good, but the atmosphere suddenly sucks. As much as Steve hates the idea of Eddie giving up something he wants just because Steve is there, he hates the sudden awkward silence even more. He reaches for something, anything, to break it. “Are peanuts really ruining the environment?”

Realise (I got this one on a technicality, because I spell the word with a 'z' like a heathen)

Because that’s another thing about being friends with Steve Harrington – Eddie isn’t at all sure they’re just friends. At least, he isn’t sure that’s what they’re going to stay. It had shaken his very foundation to realize, in less than an hour of really talking to him for the first time, even, that Steve is very probably queer. That he’s like Eddie. And that he might, in fact, like Eddie.

Heat

“Shit, man, why didn’t you tell me you were eating? I could’ve waited,” Steve says. “Seriously?” Eddie tosses him an incredulous look. “It’s pouring out. It’s cold. I wasn’t gonna make you wait. I can just heat the pizza back up!” “You can heat me back up!” Steve shoots back, and Eddie snorts into a round of surprised laughter. “What?” he wheezes, looking back over at Steve until Steve shoves him to get his eyes back on the road. “You know what I– I just mean that I wouldn’t have died if I’d had to wait an extra half hour, Jesus.” Steve rubs a hand over his face, hoping if he does it hard enough, that’ll account for whatever redness is currently rising in his cheeks. “I didn’t mean for you to put your shit on hold just to come get me, you know?”

Shut

Eddie’s hands are on Steve almost as soon as he’s across the threshold, even before the door is shut, grounding Steve back in himself, giving him a point of focus that isn’t the depressing assortment of memories skewed across his house or his own swirling anxiety. “You good?” Eddie asks, cupping Steve’s jaw and dragging his hands down his neck, his shoulders, his arms, before finally taking his hands. Steve shivers under the touch. “Getting there.”

Insane - Not found! But I did find one instance of "crazy," which is synonymous, if tonally different, so here's that:

“Okay, okay, so he picked up on you being a romantic, that’s great, but,” Robin holds her hands out in front of herself in an emphatic sort of ‘here’s the thing’ gesture, “where was all of this before?” “Right?” Steve bursts out, flinging his arms out in front of himself, narrowly avoiding knocking into one of Robin’s hands. “Thank you! I’m not crazy for wondering that!” “Of course you’re not,” Robin says, narrowing her eyes at him. “He didn’t tell you that you were, did he?”

Tight

The distinct sound of shattering porcelain is followed by a vehemently hissed, “shit,” and then silence. “Steve?” Eddie calls from the couch into the kitchen. “You okay?” “Yeah,” Steve calls back, but his voice sounds tight in the way it does when something definitely isn’t okay.

Over

“Because Eddie is Harrington’s favorite,” Oliver says, both a tease and a statement of fact. Steve says nothing, but he does turn and give Eddie another little smile, wiggling the plastic cup at him. “Well,” Eddie says slowly, reaching out to take the pudding without looking away from Steve, “I was the one who invited him over in the first place. Only seems right.” “Exactly,” Steve agrees, though it’s a little too soft to carry. “Lame,” Jeff declares, even as he starts in on the uneaten meatloaf. “No, no, he clearly has some kind of social superpowers,” Oliver insists. “If we wait long enough, maybe he’ll spot people who secretly have crushes on us, too.” “I think I’ll just settle for his lunch,” Jeff decides.

[bloogers-boogers]

Au where Kyle finds out he’s a chubby chaser and is dismissive of WHO is he attracted to, instead chasing after Clyde, Lisa Burger and Henrietta.

Eventually he manages to get a date with Clyde (his first choice) and Stan warned him that if he keeps repressing his feelings he is going to hurt himself the most. Kyle acts indifferent to what Stan says trying to ignore Stan’s indirect suggestion cause Stan actually knows who he actually want’s.

Anyways, Kyle takes Clyde to casa bonita in hopes to keep his mind distracted and believes Clyde would like it, however Clyde complains about literally everything (mostly the service) so it was plain awful. And cuts things off after.

His second option was Lisa Burger reason why she was his second option is because she’s a brunette and he has thing for them. So he asked her out.

However she was too into makeup, diets and magazines; nonstop talking about any recent trend. It had Kyle bored after 10 minutes talking about Ariana grande.

He then goes after Henrietta, it was quite a chase for her (which he kinda likes; cause the previous attempts were easy bait and he prefers a challenge over something being handed to him) so after successfully managing to get a date with her, he immediately rushes to prepare everything having a exciting feeling in his stomach cause he feels there’s a connection between them and that it could actually work out. But during that he stumbles across Cartman while coming out from walmart.

Cartman’s messy hair stood out, his pjs still on as if he didn’t bother changing into his casual wear to go pick up some groceries. He had sandles with socks on, he couldn’t help but look at him dumbly as Cartman dismissively walks pass him to get inside the store. He gulp’s as seeing him made time go slower and feeling completely nauseous every time he’s around.

He curses himself and goes straight home.

His date with Henrietta went pretty well, and actually managed to keep it going for two weeks. Though Henrietta had her moments “goth” there was a lot of her she hid from her fellow goth friends. She was into musicals, pop music, comedy and like the drums.

However this wasn’t enough for his heart to stop aching every time he hang out with his friends, the times he spent with Cartman. And he knew deeply inside why he felt that way but he wasn’t planning to admit it anytime soon.

Though, during the period of him dating Henrietta he found his feelings stronger and difficult to manage as he always somehow ended in some mess with Cartman. He’d sometimes prioritize answering Cartman’s call over his girlfriend, he’d pick Cartman’s side over choosing to go on a date with her. Even in his thoughts Cartman hogged everything.

He’d find himself sometimes awaiting a reaction from Cartman the times he “unintentionally” shoved his relationship on to him. He liked annoying Cartman for being single but he also craved the attention from him.

He dumped Henrietta after two months cause he wasn’t feeling it anymore and went after Clyde AGAIN.

During this period Kenny admitted wanting to pursue Henrietta and asked if it was cool for him if he did; he genuinely didn’t care and he shrugged in response which concerned Kenny. Kenny gave him a talk about being more honest and open when it comes to his feelings, however Kyle took this as aim for his real romantic interest.

He had enough that both his closest friends have gave him “the talk” and then comes Butters to add to the pile doing the same exact shit after he caught him watching Cartman tackle Stan while playing football.

Unlike Kenny and Stan, Butters was the most direct, shamelessly adding that “Eric could reciprocate your feelings if you were more honest, Kyle” as if Cartman had any better choices? Of course he’d accept him, no one else would dare ask Cartman out.

So he thought.

And it’s a whole ass drama from there jsjsjs

[unusannusbracket]

I’ve had some curious people, so here’s the seed. (Warning that all 366 videos are in a list here, so it’s very long)

Cooking with Sex Toys

Ethan Finally Becomes a MAN

Recreating Every Single Unus Annus Video

Mark and Ethan Attempt an Escape Room

Hunting HeeHoo

Pee Sauna

Goodbye.

Ethan Gives Mark a Viking Funeral

Playing Children’s Games in Total Darkness

Preserving Ourselves in Wax

DIY Geriatric Simulator

DIY Bungee Jump (please don't try this)

2 Truths and 1 Lie -- Waxing Edition

Mark Teaches Ethan to Read with Hooked on Phonics

Duct Tape Crucifixion (Amy, Please Don't Watch This Video)

Bear Trapping 101: An Elegant Knot For an Elegant Beast

The Unus Annus Annual Sleepover

Reacting to Your Hilarious Green Screen Memes

Creating Mark FISHbach

Goat Yoga

Chickens Teach Us About Life and Death

Unus Annus Try Pole Dancing

We Made Nude Paintings of Each Other

Being Brutally Honest with Each Other

2 Absolute Beginners Experience the Dancing Glory that is Salsa

The Unus Annus Annual Costume Contest

Mark Turns Ethan into a Mummy to Prepare Him for the Great Beyond

Mark Conquers His Fear of Night Swimming

Pee Soda

We Got Pepper Sprayed

The Truth of Unus Annus

Mark Teaches Ethan How to Play the Trumpet

Hiding Our Sins from Amy's Holy Peepers

The Wubble

Mark Cooks Blindfolded While Ethan Guides Him Through FaceTime

W​​​​​e Had To Drink Each Other's Pee

We Accidentally Made an SCP While Amy Was Away

Santa's Mukbang (Drinking 1 Gallon of Eggnog)

Beer Sauna: Turning a Portable Sauna into a Portable Hell

Literally Eating Fire

All Our Video Ideas That Never Happened

Mark Reviews The Impossible Burger But There's a Looming Sense of Impending Doom

2 Grown Men Attempt the Presidential Fitness Test

Nutball: The Most Dangerous Game

The Unus Annus Last Supper

We Force Mark to Swim in the Ocean (HIS GREATEST FEAR)

Fixing Mark's Hole with Ramen but Every Time We Add Glue We Get 5% Closer to God

The Koala Challenge: TikTok’s Intimate Couple’s Trend

Pitching a Tent in the Woods But There's a Bear 15 Feet Away

We Tried a Labor Pain Simulator

We Will Churn Thy Butter

Mark Breaks His Nose On An Aerial Hoop

Beating Inanimate Objects to Death

Mark's Outdoor Escape Room

Donating Toys to Charity w/ JackSepticEye

Baby Hands Operation

What in the Hell is a Pink Trombone?

Mark Teaches Ethan How to March in a Marching Band

Drawing on Each Other's Backs in Total Darkness

Crushing Watermelons Betwixt Our Mighty Thighs

Making Our Own Sensory Deprivation Tank

We Lubed Our Floor for a Sliding Competition

A Serious Conversation Under the Stars

Drawing Memes from Memory

1 Man 100 Accents

How to Start a Fire (except don't...)

DIY Chiropractor

Mark Needs To Rub Ethan and Only His Mom Can Help Him

We Pierced Each Other’s Ears

Mark and Ethan Go Casket Shopping

Unus Annus

Mark Punishes Ethan

We Force James Charles to Run a Military Obstacle Course

The Sensory Overload Tank

Mark and Ethan Are Now Fathers

We Made Every YouTuber Battle in the Hunger Games

We Bought Every Grinch Costume on Ebay

Turning Mark Into an E-Boy

Helium Therapy

Everything's Legal If You're Dead

How to Safely Bury Your Friend

Who’s Cutting Onions In Here???

Recreating the Miracle of Childbirth

We Play the Newlywed Game While Consuming That Which Will Kill the Other

The Beginning of The End

We Attempted to Create THICC Water

DIY Boob

2 Idiots Get Crushed by 18-Foot Giant Snakes

Mark and Ethan Get Into a Fight

The Painful World of Aerial Silks

You Blink You Lose

Ethan Will Be Kicked in the Balls

We Looked at Unus Annus Memes

Poopsie Sparkly Critters (a slime surprise...)

Unregulated Axe Throwing

10 Strange Amazon Products Ethan Bought Mark Because He Doesn't Know How to Spend Money Responsibly

The Secret Unus Annus No-Touchy-Touchy Hand Shake

Taped and Afraid

We Played Strip Poker

REAL Ghost Hunting at an Abandoned Zoo

This Video is Completely Unedited

Eating Only Onions for 24 Hours: How Many Onions Does it Take to Kill a Man?

Ethan Teaches Mark Gymnastics

Mark and Ethan Look at a Puppy for 10 Minutes

Pressure Washing Our Sins Away

The Ultimate Trolley Problem

Recreating Mark's Childhood

2 Men in a Trench Coat Teach You how to Save Moneyat the Movies

Mark Teaches Ethan to Wrestle

What Was the Most Painful Thing We've Ever Endured?

Drinking Real THICC Water... How Bad Does It Taste?

This is What Being Tased Feels Like

Only UNUS-es May Watch This Video

We Take a Lie Detector Test to Uncover our Darkest Sins

Transforming Mark into the 8th Wonder of the World

This Is The Most Dangerous Children's Toy Ever Made

Saying Goodbye to All Our Guests

Ethan Destroys Mark's Van with a Bat

BEYBLADE NUTBALL

We Turned our Bodies into Art

Drunk College Party Simulator

Doing Each Other's Makeup in the Dark

The Candy Bra Challenge

A Bear Attacked Us in the Middle of the Night

Too Many Pickles

Making an Indoor Tornado to Flex on Mother Nature

2 Adults Take a 4th Grade Math Test

We Took the Polar Plunge

Brick Soccer

Only ANNUS-es May Watch This Video

Blood Bath

Ethan Kidnapped Mark

How to Rescue a Cat from a Tree

Literally Finding a Needle in a Haystack

Only Watch from 2:15 to 6:11 --- DO NOT WATCH ANY OTHER PART OF THIS VIDEO

Team Building for 2: Trust Fall, Tug-of-War, and More!

Building IKEA's Hardest Piece of Furniture Without Instructions is Impossible

How Many Slaps Does It Take to Cook a Chicken?

Floating in a Real Sensory Deprivation Tank

Ethan Teaches Mark How to Swim

We Eat Bugs

Accepting the Truth

The Annual Unus Annus Dunk Contest

Grip Strength Test: Loser Becomes the Winner's Butler for a Day

7 Minutes in Heaven | 7 Minutes in Hell

Help Us Break a YouTube World Record

Becoming One with the Horse

Mark and Ethan Go on a "Drum Date"

Bobbing For Apples But the Water Keeps Getting Thiccer

Who Can Teach Their Dogs a Trick the Fastest?

Mark Knows What Ethan Did...

We Buy a Professional Hypnosis Video and React To It

Mark and Ethan Learn About the Human Body

Tearing a Phone Book in Half with Our Huge Manly Muscles

How to Escape from a Hostage Situation

Being Attacked by a Fully Trained Bodyguard Dog

Puberty Simulator

Breaking Glass With Our Screams

Dunking Oreos In Literally Anything But Milk

Hydro Dipping A Baby

Attempting to Build IKEA Furniture Without Instructions

Can You Bake a Cookie from Cookie Dough Ice Cream?

The Bad Kind of Cupping

Ethan Explores Mark's Haunted Basement

Would Chica Save Us From Drowning?

Was 2020 a Bad Year for Unus Annus?

Shooting Archery ON A HORSE

This is For FUN and NOT a Fetish

Mark Teaches Ethan Korean

Building the World's First IKEA Boat

Purging Our Sins with a Neti Pot

Discussing the Idea of Murdering Each Other but it's Just a Joke and Definitely Not Serious Haha

Momiplier Teaches Self-Defense

The 1st Annual Unus Annus Roast

Mark and Ethan Share a Drink

The Barrel - Official Music Video

Popping Popcorn with a High-Powered Laser

Is Mark a Masochist?

We Wrote a Hit Pop Song in 30 Minutes

We Attempt to Make UNHOLY Water

We Give Each Other Tattoos Blindfolded

The Ultimate Paper Airplane Showdown

Judging Your Terrible Unus Annus Ideas

Top 10 Worst Things Your Friend Could Possibly Spend Their Money On

3 Big Boys Attempt the King's Royal Fitness Test

Reddit 50/50: Two Player Edition

We Attempt Pottery Without Amy's Help

Mark and Ethan Build a Scarecrow

Learning the Ancient Art of Chinese Archery

Ultimate Horseshoes

This Video Went Completely Out of Control

Cryptid Olympics

Hot Dog'd to Death

Recharging Our Phones Using Only Brute Strength

Becoming a Master of Mime

Harnessing Our Dogs' Unlimited Energy

We Explore the Unus Annus Subreddit for Your Delicious Memes

Forcibly Turning Mark Into Santa Claus Against His Will

Literally Laying On Literal Broken Glass

The Good Kind of Cupping

Blowing Our Souls Into Some Hot Glass

Who Can Make Themselves Taller?

DIY Bed of Nails : OH GOD, PLEASE DON'T EVER TRY THIS

Mark and Ethan Summon a Ghost

The Great Meat Mistake

Recreating Ourselves as a Cursed Mannequin

DIY Wine

We Played Mad Libs and Ran It Through Google Translate

Bobbing For Literally Anything But Apples

Acupuncture Is NOT Painful

Mark Gives Ethan a HOT (stone) Massage

We Cryogenically Freeze Ourselves

Ultimate YouTuber Boxing Showdown

10 Miracle Products to Give YOU the Thiccest Jaw on Planet Earth

Dummy THICC for Dummies | A Tale of 2 Butts | Pushing Our Butts Even Further Beyond

We Attempt to Make Holy Water

Mark Steals Ethan’s Face

DIY Teeth

Our Perfect (and last) Valentine's Day

Mark Builds a Pillow Fort for the Very First Time

The Egg Smashing Game

Ethan Redefines Male Beauty

Learning to Breathe Underwater

The Great Ice Cream Cake Race

Preparing a 5-Star Meal for Our Youtube Famous Dogs

We Finally Drank Our DIY Win

2 Dirty Boys Wash Their Filthy Mouths Out With Soap

Professional Fire Cupping (Going Even Further Beyond)

Morphing Our Bodies Into Superhero Poses

Bad Bad Beans

We Hired a Real Hypnotherapist to Analyze our Darkest Dreams

This is Goodbye

God's Fitness Test

Edible Slime was a Mistake.

DO NOT TRY THIS UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES

You Breathe You Die

Long Hair, Do We Dare?

Mark and Ethan Desperately Try and Name a Single State in the USA

The Most Dangerous Shave

Two Male Men Judge Female Women on Their Beauty

5 Products to Grow Your Patchy Beard

How to NOT be the Perfect Boyfriend

Learn to Jump Higher in 16 Minutes and 16 Seconds

Playing Cards: The World's Deadliest Weapon

DIY Cheese

We Found Websites That the World Forgot About

Play-Doh Thanksgiving

Ethan Watches as Mark Achieves the Impossible

2 Men 200 Accents

1 Gallon of Jello Nearly Broke Us

Desperately Trying Not To Touch Our Faces

Mark and Ethan Milk a Goat

Edward Pumpkin Hands

Nutball Extreme: Taser Edition

The Unus Annus Space Program

Having an Adventure In VR Chat Because We Can't Go Outside

Using Google Maps to Find the Lost City of Atlantis

Mark and Ethan Desperately Attempt to Feel Something

Ethan Turns Mark into a Werewolf

Looking at Long Lost Memes

The Human Mop

An Extremely Sour, Not-At-All Sour Meal

Going on an Internet Scavenger Hunt

Making Soda With Literally Anything But Soda

Mark and Ethan Become United States Citizens

Consuming the World's Hottest Chip

Learning How to Lockpick (FBI Please Don't Watch)

We Made Fanart for Each Other

There's Something Horribly Wrong with This Picture...

Strange (and legal) Things You Can Do With Your Body After Death

Professional Fetish Scientists Rank the Best/Worst Fetishes of 2020

Recreating Childhood Photos

Fighting Fish to the Death in the Deep Blue Sea

Wikifeet: A Tale of 2 Tootsies

We Google Each Other to Find Our Darkest Forgotten Sins

The Worst Kind of Cupping

The End of Unus Annus is Almost Here...

Middle School Science Experiment Teaches Us About Life and Death

Momiplier Tells Us True Scary Stories from Korea

Making Snow Cones With Literally Anything But Normal Flavors

We Have the Best Bellies on Youtube

We Ate Dog Treats So You Don't Have To

Becoming the World’s Greatest DJ's

Our Fans Try to Scare Us with Their Homemade Creepypasta

DO NOT OPEN UNTIL 2080

You Made Beautiful Music for The Barrel... But Only One Could Win

The Deep End of Omegle: Risky Boogaloo

The 1000 High Five Challenge

What is the Least Viewed Video on YouTube?

Mark and Ethan Find the Lost City of El Dorado

The Creepiest Videos on Youtube

DIY Minesweeper

This Is Hiding On Your Body RIGHT NOW.

Running Internet Drama through Google Translate

Will We Break the Boards... Or Will They Break Us?

Speed Reading 1000+ WPM to Gain a Complete Understanding of All Human Knowledge

This Video Will Never Make Sense

Unus Annus Carves the Roast Beast

Making Our Own Gravestones to Prepare For Our Inevitable Demise

Mark's 1 Weird Talent Leaves Ethan Absolutely Speechless

Mark and Ethan Get a Full Body Scan to See What Secrets Lay Hidden Within (and learn their body fat)

Learning to Use The Force

Making the Ultimate Unus Annus Burger

The Scariest True Stories on the Internet

Mark and Ethan Bet Everything on a Wikipedia Race

Giving Away Our 1,000,000 Subscriber Gold Play Button

Amazon Shopping for the Apocalypse

The Chubby Gummy Challenge

Unus Annus ASMR

Phasmophobia in Real Life

Mark and Ethan Shave Chica

Does This Magnet Skincare Routine Really Work?

Ethan Roasts Mark for 15 Minutes Straight

We Bought a Camera That Can Look Inside Us

Reading YOUR Scariest True Stories

How Much Caffeine Does It Take to Kill a Man?

An A.I. Predicts How We're Going to Die

Emotional Pain vs Physical Pain... Which is Worse?

We Smell Every Smell

Tasting Weird Food Combos : Pickles and Chocolate? Ice Cream and Soy Sauce?

Bleachus Annus

Can Sound Therapy Heal All Wounds?

Ethan's Relaxing and Totally Normal Nail Salon

Can Plants Feel Pain?

We Have The BEST Thumbnails on YouTube and No One Can Tell Us Otherwise

We Put an Apple Watch in a Rock Tumbler

Whom Would Eat Whomst First in a Zombie Apocalypse?

2 Complete Amateurs Enter a Body Building Competition

We Do It Better Than Icarus Ever Could

Mark and Ethan Take a Personality Test

Learning to Cry on Command to Increase Our YouTube Views

What Happens When a Youtube Channel Dies?

Don't Go in the Ocean... Ever.

Finding the Most Cursed Image on the Internet

Pumpkin Taste Tier List

The Unus Annus Confessional Booth

2 Boys 2 Poops

How Far Can We Chuck a 16lbs Rock?

We Took an IQ Test

We’re Better Than Dogs

Amy Sent Us a Mystery Box

How Big Can a Nuke Get?

There's Still Hope...

What Does Astrology Say About Our Friendship?

Where in the World is Unus Annus?

Mark is Guilty. Ethan has the Proof.

How Tall Can A Human Get?: An Impartial Review by 2 Average Height Men

Mark and Ethan Hunt The World's Most Wanted Criminals

Bored? Press This Button.

The Illuminati... Do They Really Exist?

Harnessing Our Yodeling Power to End The World As We Know It

Ethan Traps Mark's Soul in the Palm of his Hand

5 Weird Apps Predicted Our Death

Are Reptilian Humanoids Living Among us?

An A.I. Generates Our Worst Nightmare

Bigfoot is Real and It Ate My Friend

This is How We'll Die...

Like It or Not... This is What The New Human Looks Like

Pumpkin Spice “Challenge”

Discovering the Secret to Eternal Life

Will AI Soon Take Over Humanity as we Know It?

Hacking into the Very Fabric of the Universe

Reverse Engineering a Kite to Steal the Idea of Electricity From Benjamin Franklin

Granting Access into Heaven's Sweet Gates

We Explore the Most MYSTERIOUS Mysteries of our Wildy Mysterious Mystery Moon of Mysteries

Are We Already Dead?

[butters-flower-mom]

What's the main 4 + butters' ideal dinner? Like, if they could eat anything they want, what would they put on their plate?

I'm not sure how accurate my answers will be since I don't really have a grasp on other characters the way I like to pretend that I do Butters, but I'll try.

I'll start with Cartman. He'd easily choose something from a fast food restaurant, most likely KFC.

I think Kenny would probably choose the same as Cartman, or at least something from a fast food place. I can see Kenny loving Taco Bell a lot.

For Kyle, I think he mentioned in the episode where his cousin came to visit that he loves his mom's stew so maybe that. Definitely something his mom makes. He loves home-cooked food.

I'll be honest, I have no idea for Stan. Since he's supposed to be like an average, all-American kid maybe that's the kind of food he likes? Burgers, pizza, that kind of stuff.

Now for Butters, I think he loves having breakfast for dinner. It's kind of like a special occasion to him. We also know he loves Bennigan's but I think he loves casual dining restaurants in general. Bennigan's just happens to be his favorite. So I think he'd want to go to one that has an all-day breakfast and get chocolate chip pancakes, eggs, bacon, hashbrowns, and a big glass of chocolate milk.

[kaunis-sielu]

Eighth day of Christmas: Steve and Fawn

You were stupid excited about today. You’d bought an ice cream maker and when it got delivered it took every ounce of self control you had to not open it.

Okay if you were honest you had opened it but only to fish out the directions so you didn’t mess it up.

You have all the ingredients in the fridge when Steve comes home you pop off the couch where you’ve been working on your latest book.

“Hi!”

“Hi Omega, you seem excited.”

“I am.”

“Have you planned dinner yet or can I make it?”

“You want to? I thought we could just do pizza?”

“I want to. I also have your present upstairs. It’s kind of a repeat, I hope that’s okay.” He looks worried, like you’ll be upset.

“Well, I’ve loved everything you’ve given me so I don’t see this being any different.”

“God I love you.” He murmurs and you laugh softly before pressing a kiss to his lips. “It’s in the bathroom closet. If you wanna go get it I’ll get started on dinner.”

“Okay.” You jog up the stairs and he heads for the kitchen. You know he didn’t have any fires today, which is a massive relief. You find the gift in a bag in the closet then head back downstairs. Steve has some beef out and you can’t help but laugh, you’d expected something milk based, like something with cheese.

“Kinda morbid don’t you think?” You ask stepping into his side and wrapping your arms around his waist.

“Maybe a little. But I know you love a good burger.” He isn’t wrong.

You stay curled into his side while he cooks, you talk about your day and Steve presses the occasional kiss to the top of your head.

After dinner he slides your gift to you, it’s an oatmeal milk bath mix.

“Oh! I’ve always wanted to try this.”

“Really?”

“Yea, it’s supposed to make your skin so soft.” You tell him and Steve hums softly, “you wanna take a bath later?”

“Always.” He says with a little smirk and you laugh.

“You ready for yours?”

“Sure.” You pull out all of the ice cream making stuff and his eyes go wide. “Did you get me an ice cream maker?”

“Yup!” You tell him clapping your hands excitedly.

“Sweetheart! Yes!” He pulls you to him and kisses you quickly. “You have so much stuff!” He’s like a kid in a candy store and you can’t help but laugh, you love seeing him like this.

You spend the next hour making ice cream. You do a vanilla base with add ins of chocolate chips, peanut butter chips, strawberries and blueberries. The fruit is kind of a miss, it gets too cold when it’s churned but Steve is thrilled with the gift either way. You’ve got to admit you’re pretty proud of this one and you can’t wait to keep trying different add ins.

[the-cat-and-the-birdie]

So I was watching Dylan B. And it dawned on me. Ansi is from the 80s. The 80s. She's from that generation where they came up with those weird food concoctions like throwing cheez whiz into cornbread. And yet she'd be there doing it too 😭.

Whenever the three of the 3 of them are hanging out at HQ or just vibing on Hobie's boat she'll bake something. And at first it starts off with your typical 80s treats like monkey bread or some blondies. But sometimes she'll walk out of Hobie's kitchen looking like she's holding toxic waste with the biggest smile on her face.

And it's always a gamble on what you're gonna get, because sometimes her baked goods, while unorthodox, are actually really good. Nobody thought the Velveeta cheese fudge would've turned out well but they were pleasantly surprised. Sometimes though she makes things that are so foul that Hobie, I'll eat anything, Brown debates throwing it overboard after she leaves. (Diane probably has Hobie poison taste test before she tries anything and even then she's skeptical because of his Britishness.)

They give her their honest opinion for each thing that she makes as calmly as they can without hurting her feelings. And since she's trying to learn how to bake using her own groceries they don't have the heart to stop her. However, Ansi is straight up banned from making jello salad because of all the vile concoctions she kept coming up with.

"I thought adding pickles and olives to the jello would give it a more balanced flavor."

"NO."

(You have to know that I saw some of the most horrendous meals while searching up examples. I know there was a whole crack epidemic going on but weren't people coming up with good ideas back then? WHY ARE WE PUTTING THESE THINGS TOGETHER? ASPARAGUS CAKE. ASPARAGUS 😭😭😭😭)

This ask had me WEAK as hell because I imagine Diane eating every sweet like

Being all GREEDY because she loves food. The first one in the kitchen like 'what's this now' and she will try to rope people into it if she can!!

Plus like...never letting the British rest when it comes to food

Hobie is all hesitant and she's like 'Weren't you eating spotted dick yesterday'. 'You're bugging out, it's like Yorkshire pudding and all that.' Then she stands there waiting for him to eat it even though she was the one who was all excited to try jhhfjjdkf

And when she does like it the house Never gets quiet for there. She's all "Yeessss, snaps to this!!" or going "Okay, chef!". Everytime Ansi come in the room she's complimenting her (with another piece in her hand)

But on the inverse, since Diane LOVES soul food and is so greedy her food is A LOT.

Everything need Adobo and Larry's and Old Bay Seasoning. (Yes all three) Everything needs butter. Salty as hell and if it's spicy it's damn near too hot to taste.

She loads up the plate with cornbread AND yams AND mac & cheese, then hands it to them like it's lunch. Why'd she make so much goddamn collard greens? Wakes up in the morning like 'ya'll want sum grits and shrimp?" Ma'am it's 9am.

She makes all this heavy ass buttery food, eats the whole thing then looks at Ansi and Hobie like

"Ya'll not hungry?? - I'm hungry. This is good food - Hobie you okay you ain't finish"

and it's like yeah cause it looks like you deep-fried this burger in lard the man has heartburn

Pavi says she's tryna fatten everyone up like the witch from Hansel & Gretel but she's just trying to make sure everyones soul is FED OKAY

[dontfeeltoohot]

Sicktember Day 28 - Chronic Illness - Youtube AU - TW: Needles (briefly, used in diabetic context)

Nobody who sees Eddie would know. He keeps it hidden and out of sight, tucked away in his jeans pocket- it’s usually mistaken for a wallet if anyone does notice. It’s not that he keeps it a secret, but he also doesn’t feel the need to talk about it. He’s had diabetes since he was 6, had a pump since he was 8, attached to his lower abdomen, an essential part of his life. Without it, he’d be dead. 

They’re all in the tattoo parlor the first time Eddie’s blood sugar drops since moving to Hawkin’s a month prior. They’re all sitting there, throwing out suggestions for Robin’s first tattoo, flipping through some flash sheets the artist has compiled over the years he’s worked. As Steve points to a horror one jokingly, Eddie’s head starts hurting.

It’s subtle but there, a small pulse on the side of his head. A moment later, he realizes how tired he is. Rubbing his face with his hand, he jumps back into the conversation, suggesting maybe something small to start out with. 

Fuck. 

Pulling out the top drawer of his mechanics cart; the one that holds all of his inks and gear, Eddie snags a Reese’s peanut butter cup, ripping into it. 

Pulling out the top drawer of his mechanics cart; the one that holds all of his inks and gear, Eddie snags a Reese’s peanut butter cup, ripping into it. 

“You guys want one?” He asks, looking at the two. 

Nausea rolls through his stomach and the long haired man pops the entire piece of candy into his mouth, making Steve chuckle and Robin look surprised. As he chews, Eddie fishes out his phone from his pocket, clicking open his Tandem app, checking to see what his levels are.

56 mg/dL. Well shit. Really, Eddie’s surprised it’s not lower, but the machine attached to him is good at its job, knowing to adjust insulin levels when his blood sugar starts dropping. 

He pops another Reese’s cup into his mouth as Robin snacks on one too. Taking his water bottle off the top of the cart, he takes a few sips, headache still pulsing. Steve‘a watching him curiously bjt after another four minutes, Eddie can feel the chocolate and protein start to kick in, so he suggests going to the burger place next door for dinner. 

XXX

A week after he, Steve and Robin eat their burgers and continue to talk about tattoo ideas, Eddie finds something out. Robin’s clumsy. She’s clumsier than any person he’s met before, if he’s honest, now that he’s spent some time outside of the coffee shop with the duo. She’s tall with long limbs, and that combined with her spacial awareness issues…well, Eddie is surprised she hasn’t fallen into him before. 

They’re in the parlor when she trips on what appears to be nothing, right into Eddie, who manages to react quickly enough they don’t hit the floor. What does hit the floor though, is his insulin pump and, getting pulled with it, the cannula tubing, plus the needle and needle cover. 

“Son of a bitch!” His voice is loud in the currently quiet and unoccupied space. 

“I’m so sorry!” 

Hissing at the sudden sting, Eddie puts a hand against his lower right abdomen. Looking up, Steve and Robin are standing there wide eyed. Robin looks entirely too guilty and worried, and Steve looks confused. 

“Sorry, that wasn’t directed at you Robin, you didn’t do anything,” the musician bends down and picks the small system up, thankful the pump doesn’t seem to be messed up. 

“What’s that?” Steve looks at the supplies in his hands. 

“Oh, I’m diabetic, it’s my insulin pump so I don’t like..go into shock and die,” he shrugs, not thinking much of his words. 

“Wait what?!” 

“Holy shit and I ripped it out!! Do we need to take you to a hospital?” 

Laughing quietly, Eddie shakes his head and sets the items on his clean black bench, then lifts his shirt up to inspect the damage. There’s a small circle of skin that’s a shade paler where the needle cover was sticking to him. A tiny puncture wound is in the middle. 

“No, I’m all good guys, seriously. I have to change it every couple of days anyway. Lucky for you Birdie, tonight was the night, so honestly you just helped me out,” Eddie assures, grabbing his backpack and pulling out identical items, though they’re all sealed for sterilization. 

“I gotta go wash my hands, be right back.” 

A minute later, he comes back to his friends who are both looking at Steve’s phone. 

“Oooh, watcha lookin’ at?” Eddie grins, making them both jump. 

“We we’re just…googling what the pump does and stuff,” Steve admits, looking like a kid who’s been caught stealing a cookie. Eddie thinks it’s adorable. 

“Oh. I mean, I could probably tell you in a simpler way,” the artist shrugs as he swabs his stomach with an alcohol wipe, ignoring how the other two watch. 

“Yeah, it’s all kind of confusing,” Robin admits, wincing as Eddie sticks the large, clear circle to his lower left abdomen this time. 

He makes sure it’s sticking good, then clicks down on the lever on either side of the plastic, and it pops his needle in, the plastic hitting together and making a noise. Steve and Robin jump. Taking the applicator off, all that’s left is his tube connected to his stomach, the needle hidden by the white medical tape that comes attached to it. 

“Ow,” Robin scrunches her face up in sympathy. 

“I barely feel it. I’ve been doing it since I was like 8. It barely feels like pushing a sharp pencil against my finger. Besides, I have tattoos, you dorks,” he laughs. 

“And you’ll be okay?” Steve asks. 

“Yep! I have enough insulin left to get me home, then I’ll just draw more and put it into the little holder inside the thing.” 

It’s easy to forget not everyone knows how diabetes works. An hour later, they’re all leaving, and Robin once again apologizes, so Eddie rolls his eyes. 

“If you say sorry one more time Buckley, my hand might just slip when I’m finally tattooing you,” he teases. It makes the woman stop, and Steve smirks. 

“I’ll start threatening that to her too, worked like a charm.”

[fiftytwotwentythree]

Wellness Wednesday:

Cleaning Out My Closet Fridge

Part of my wellness journey is working on my financial wellness - What are my spending habits? What can I do differently? What can I cut out?

Couple weeks ago I challenged myself to use up as much as groceries/pantry supplies before buying more groceries - maybe meal prep here and there.

Well, I've been doing good on clearing out the freezer - working on the fridge and pantry now.

I noticed I had an abundance of deli meat and breads laying around - so - I was very conscious about eating up those foods first before they went bad.

To be honest I was little more conscious this week because not too long ago I had entire loaf of bread get moldy and I just despise when that happens.

So - I at a ton of sammies this week. Really spiced it up by changing my breads, meats, and cheeses - never got boring.

Other added benefit - I saw significant drop on my weekly grocery bill. A practice I want to entertain more in the future.

Another step to help out my pocket book is I made the decision not to buy any more expensive nuts - aka - my Wonderful's Pistachios. I am going to see if I can find a more cost effective snack alternative... Plus, I still have plenty to finish off in my cabinets.

Beyond my wallet and weekly diet - I broke the 2 week plateau streak and hit some weight loss (slightly over 4 pounds). Felt good considering I didn't do anything besides partake in some extra deli meats.

Sleep-wise - man-oh-man - I need to sleep. I hate how this is a constant battle.

Socially - saw some fam - good times/stories/jokes - and - tomorrow I plan on seeing some good friends at the movies... and hope to enjoy said movies.

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24th CHECK-IN:

Current Goals:

Lose 52 lbs

Completed as of 4/12/2023

New Goal: Maintain or Continue on The Weight Loss Path

Avoid "Junk Food"

Minimize Take-Out / Fast Food Consumption

Short Term:

Vegetarian-ish Diet: Completed

End Date: 4/09/2023 - 46 Days Total

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Meal Tracker:

THURSDAY

Lunch:

(1) Hot Ham & Swiss on a Burger Bun

(1) Turkey Swiss on a Burger Bun

Handful of Good & Gather's Tex Mex Trail Mix

Snack:

Bag of BBQ Corn Nuts

Supper:

(1) Hot Ham & Swiss on a Burger Bun

(1) Turkey Swiss on a Burger Bun

(2) Triangle Wedges of Watermelon

(1) Glass of Milk

FRIDAY

Lunch:

(1) Turkey Swiss on a Burger Bun

(1) Chicken and American Cheese on Burger Bun

Bag of BBQ Corn Nuts

Snack:

(1) Old Wisconsin Turkey Sausage & Cheddar Cheese Stick Combo

Supper:

(2) Chicken and American Cheese Sandwiches on Sesame Seed Buns

(1) Triangle Wedge of Watermelon

Bag of Orville Redenbacher Ultimate Butter Popcorn

SATURDAY

Lunch:

(2) Chicken and American Cheese Sandwiches on Sesame Seed Buns

Bag BBQ Corn Nuts

Snack:

Handful of Good & Gather's Tex Mex Trail Mix

Bag of Smartfoods White Cheddar Popcorn

Supper:

(1) Pineapple Brat on a Bakery Bun

- Ketchup

(1) Taco Brat on a Bakery Bun

- Ketchup

(1) Grilled Potato

(1) Glass of Chocolate Milk

SUNDAY

Lunch:

Cesaer Salad

Snack:

Bag of Smartfoods White Cheddar Popcorn

Bag of Orville Redenbacher Ultimate Butter Popcorn

(1) Glass of Chocolate Milk

Supper:

Chef Salad

(1) Medium Orange

MONDAY

Lunch:

Santa Fe Style Salad

Handful of Wonderful's Smokey BBQ Pistachios

Supper:

Chef Salad

(1) Medium Orange

TUESDAY

Lunch:

Santa Fe Style Salad

Handful of Wonderful's Salt & Vinegar Pistachios

Supper:

(1) Homemade Oven-Baked Ham, Pastrami, Chicken Swiss Slider on a Artesian Bun

(1) Medium Orange

WEDNESDAY

Lunch:

(3) Leftover Homemade Oven-Baked Ham, Pastrami, Chicken Pepperjack Sliders on a Artesian Buns

Supper:

(3) Leftover Homemade Oven-Baked Ham, Pastrami, Chicken Pepperjack Sliders on a Artesian Buns

(2) Glass of Chocolate Milk

(1) Medium Orange

Bag of Orville Redenbacher Ultimate Butter Popcorn

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Workouts:

THURSDAY

(200) Jumping Jacks [4 sets of 50]

(100) Glute Bridges [4 sets of 25]

(100) Push-Ups [10 sets of 10]

(100) Assisted Push-Ups [2 sets of 50]

(50) Reverse Leg Lifts [5 sets of 10]

(50) Leg Kickbacks [5 sets of 10]

(100) Sit-Ups [5 sets of 20]

FRIDAY

(200) Jumping Jacks [4 sets of 50]

(100) Glute Bridges [4 sets of 25]

(100) Push-Ups [10 sets of 10]

(100) Assisted Push-Ups [2 sets of 50]

(50) Reverse Leg Lifts [5 sets of 10]

(50) Leg Kickbacks [5 sets of 10]

(5 min) Planks [5 sets of 1 min]

SATURDAY

(200) Jumping Jacks [4 sets of 50]

(100) Glute Bridges [4 sets of 25]

(100) Push-Ups [10 sets of 10]

(100) Assisted Push-Ups [2 sets of 50]

(50) Reverse Leg Lifts [5 sets of 10]

(50) Leg Kickbacks [5 sets of 10]

(100) Sit-Ups [5 sets of 20]

SUNDAY

(200) Jumping Jacks [4 sets of 50]

(100) Glute Bridges [4 sets of 25]

(100) Push-Ups [10 sets of 10]

(100) Assisted Push-Ups [2 sets of 50]

(50) Reverse Leg Lifts [5 sets of 10]

(50) Leg Kickbacks [5 sets of 10]

(5 min) Planks [5 sets of 1 min]

MONDAY

(200) Jumping Jacks [4 sets of 50]

(100) Glute Bridges [4 sets of 25]

(100) Push-Ups [10 sets of 10]

(100) Assisted Push-Ups [2 Sets of 50]

(50) Reverse Leg Lifts [5 sets of 10]

(50) Leg Kickbacks [5 sets of 10]

(100) Sit-Ups [5 sets of 20]

TUESDAY

(200) Jumping Jacks [4 sets of 50]

(100) Glute Bridges [4 sets of 25]

(100) Push-Ups [5 sets of 10]

(100) Assisted Push-Ups [2 sets of 50]

(50) Reverse Leg Lifts [5 sets of 10]

(50) Leg Kickbacks [5 sets of 10]

(5 min) Planks [5 sets of 1 min]

WEDNESDAY

(200) Jumping Jacks [4 sets of 50]

(100) Glute Bridges[4 sets of 25]

(100) Push-Ups [10 sets of 10]

(100) Assisted Push-Ups [2 Sets of 50]

(50) Reverse Leg Lifts [5 sets of 10]

(50) Leg Kickbacks [5 sets of 10]

(100) Sit-Ups [5 sets of 20]

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WEIGHT TRACKER:

Starting Weight (Noon, 1/01/2023): XXX.X lbs

Weight at Last Check-In, 6/07/2023: ZERO lbs

Weight As of Noon, 6/14/2023: -4.4 lbs

Total Weight Loss: -69.8 lbs

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.

Closing Thoughts:

The Good:

Coming off a 2 week plateau and losing over 4 pounds. Nice little bump - but - still aware another plateau can surdace.

The Bad:

I've had some tad off days at work.

The Ugly:

Feel like a broken record - but - I am jonesing for some good ol' fashion sleep.

[gipsyavnger]

Hi Izzy!

What is your favorite food and what is your favorite music band?❤️

"I'll be honest here...I have two go-to favorites. Obviously, first and foremost...it's my mother's handmade tagliatelle pasta with pistachio pesto. Second, a really good burger. Like I'm talking a burger hand crafted to perfection...seasoned well...medium rare...double patty. With either garlic aioli or spicy aioli. Or ranch. Sometimes I'm in the mood for ranch. The lettuce and tomato can fuck right off. I don't need a soggy bun. Speaking of the bun. Brioche. Butter and toast that baby. and cheddar or american cheese. Oh shit...bacon. SO MUCH BACON!"

Isobel then purses her lips while truly trying to figure out how to answer the next question, "My favorite band? Oh man that's a hard one. I don't really have one single favorite band. Bad Omens, Villain of the Story, Beartooth, and Wage War have a very special place in my heart...but if I had to pick I would probably...nope. Nope. Can't pick....ah. Fuck. Gun to my head? Villain of the Story."

[twistedtummies2]

friendly asking idiot here! what’s YOUR favorite food this time? :D (don’t have to answer if u don’t wanna <3!!)

I don't know if I have any ONE favorite food, to be honest. I like a lot of things. XD I'll see if I can pick out a few key favorites... We eat a LOT of steak at my house. And I do mean a LOT. There are multiple reasons why, but it just is the way it is. Thankfully, I happen to LOVE steak, so I rarely get tired of it. Chicken Parmesan is a grand creation. I also like various forms of chicken from Asian-themed restaurants, like Sesame Chicken, Orange Chicken, and Teriyaki. I like sweet and sour chicken, too, but I ESPECIALLY love sweet and sour pork. One of my absolute favorite things in the world is Peking duck, but I very, VERY rarely get to have it, for several reasons. Bacon is definitely up there. I like it on burgers and sandwiches, in burritos, wrapped around a delicious Filet Mignon or Chicken Drumsticks, sprinkled onto various forms of cooked potatoes, in soup...just bacon, in general, is something I adore. BBQ Ribs are another favorite dish of mine. If you haven't guessed yet, I'm sort of a carnivore. My apologies to those who are not. I'm mad about mashed potatoes...PROVIDED they are REAL mashed potatoes. Like, that store bought stuff you get in a can, or something in a TV dinner? FIE ON SUCH RUBBISH, I SAY! Even a lot of restaurants tend to have sort of "meh" mashes. If they're done well, though, I absolutely freaking LOVE them. In terms of desserts and sweets...my favorite candies are Reese's Peanut Butter Cups and Red Licorice. As far as the licorice goes, it has to be REAL red licorice: not Twizzlers or Red Vines. That stuff is a bland disgrace to the candy. No, give me Wiley Wallaby's, Darrell Lea, or Lucky Country. The Australian-styled stuff. That's the BEST. My favorite ice cream is good old-fashioned Cookies & Cream. I also love my (currently) still-surviving grandmother's homemade chocolate creme pie. It is glorious and I can never have enough of it. ^^

[stainedglasstruth]

[pm] I managed to find peanut butter cups and left them at on the table beside your bed. Had to go back to the lake and check on my little ones.

Is there anything you want me to bring back? Burgers?

Safe to say your mam knows about us too now eh?

[pm] <3 You're an angel. I figurrd. Hope everyone's dping well.

Honest;y? If you could get somw watermelon that'd be sooo amazing, Might be the dehydrstion but craving some

Yesh, seems it [user hates everything] fml