#be begging all day and all night
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Go fish
#some very messy sebabsirans#no the first one wasnt an excuse to draw sebastian showing skin what r u talking about#2 posts in 1 night sorry im clearly tweaking today#my procreate is begging me for a nap#roblox#pressure#sebastian solace#pest#regretevator#sebpest#shoplift#waterbeetle#p.ai.nter#sebpainter#hes calling painter buddy [romantic]#editing this post a day later hi#if u saw 4 as lineart congratulation early birds#also jsyk i read every tag ppl put on my posts i love all of u
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NSWF 18+
Dilf!Anakin x FemReader
Warnings - Smut, soft dom Anakin, oral (f receiving), slight edging, p in v, praising, creampie
Not proof read
Anakinâs dialogue - Readers dialogue
Youâre so fucking beautiful. He whispers against your skin, as he continues to kiss your thighs. The cool breeze across your chest causes your nipples to harden. His big hands wrapped under your legs gently massaging your thighs. Gently sucking in your skins leaving marks all over. Placing a kiss on your clothed clit, sending shivers down your spine. Slowly pulling down your panties revealing your throbbing cunt.
All wet fâme? He smirks glaring up at you with his blue eyes full of desire.
Mmh
Use your words princess
Yes, Ani, all for you
You gonna be a good girl and cum when I tell you to
Yea, Iâll be a good girl I promise
Open your legs baby. Wider. There you go, good girl
You shutter at his words. He licks his lips before licking up your folds, causing your body to jolt and hand to grasp onto his hair. His hands wrap around your ass holding you in place. His tongue circling around your clit teasing you. He slowly moved onto your clit placing a gentle kiss on it. Your pussy throbbing with anticipation. Before he starts devouring you, sucking and licking your clit, as if it was his last meal.
He slips a finger into your warmth curling it making the right spot. Adding another finger in to stretch you out. Squirming as he moves faster on your swollen bud. He grips you tighter to stop you moving, as moans escaped your mouth. He moaned against your cunt, sending vibrations through your body. Fuck⊠Ani mâgonna come.
Not yet. He mumbles against your clit. But you felt a familiar feeling building up in stomach, as your pussy clenched around his fingers. Anakin slowed down and removed his fingers, and the feeling in your stomach disappeared. As he toyed with your bundle of nerves painfully slow. Grasping his hair trying to pull him in more.
Please Ani
As he picks up the pace again and slipping two fingers back in your entrance. Curling them at fast pace causing your back to arch. His tongue moving faster as that you feel your climax quickly building up again. As he adds a third finger.
Ani need to cum please. He hums against you as your vision blurs, trying not to cum. Yanking his hair begging for him to allow you to cum.
Cum for me baby
Clenching around him, you reach your climax and your juices still out onto his face. He removes his fingers and licks them clean. Humming at the sight of you out of breath still recovering from your orgasm. He brings himself up to your lips, and plants them on yours. His tongue exploring your mouth. You could taste yourself on his tongue as he caressed your soft skin, slowly moving from your hips to your waist.
You did such a good job. He plants a light kiss on your forehead.He heads to the end of the bed and stood up quickly removes his boxers, revealing his hard member. Every time you see it is like the first time, you could never get over it. How long and thick it was, with a pink tip and a few veins that stuck out. He grabbed your ankles pulling you towards him. His hands run up to your hips and quickly flips you over so youâre on your stomach. You put your ass up aching your back waiting for Anakinâs next move.
Already want more princess
Yes, please need your cock so bad
He draws himself closer to you, and runs im his rosy tip up your dripping folds. Trying to move your hips closer to him, but being stopped by his strong grip on your ass. He slowly pushes the tip into your entrance, soft grunts leaving his mouth as he bottoms you out. Stretching out your tight walls, making you feel so full.
You gonna come for me again when I tell you
Yes Ani
Anakin starts to thrust into like thereâs no tomorrow, his cock hitting in the perfect place. As your moans filled the room, and his grunts became louder. Your poor little pussy being abused by his fat cock. You grasped onto the bed sheets, as his hands trailed up your body caressing your soft skin. The sound of your pussy squelching and skin slapping became more aggressive, as Anakinâs cock brushed against your cervix.
Taking me so well baby. Being such a good girl for me huh?
You couldnât form words to respond as pleasure was too much. You were a moaning mess, and Anakin loved it.
Wanna come again? Come on my cock baby, thats it
Your walls clenching around him as you came all over his dick, moaning his name. His dick twitching inside of you as your pussy tightened around his cock, sending him over the edge as his hot seed filled you up and leaked from your swollen pussy. Mixing with all your juices.
Did so good fâme. Iâm proud of you sweethearts
#anakin skywalker#anakin skywalker x reader#anakin skywalker fan fiction#anakin skywalker smut#hayden christensen#hayden christensen smut#star wars anakin#star wars#fan fiction#fan fiction smut#smut#smut writing#smut fanfiction#i need him so badddd#heâs driving me insane I need him#the things i would let him do to me#I want him to praise me so baddd#all day all night#no lube no protection#iâm going feral#please please im begging#please give me a chance#one chance is all i need
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Hey so uh I wanted to ask about that candy bar you gave me at the Halloween party last night, I ate it before bed (it tasted really good) but when I woke up I started to notice some things. My voice sounds kinda softer and higher pitched than before, my body feels tingly and kinda soft, my hair looks a lot longer and fuller than I remember it being, and every time I look in the mirror I think I look thinner than before...my clothes feel uncomfortable...people have been saying I look and sound cute and every time they compliment me I start blushing...n-not that I'm in any pain, don't worry, it's just...uh...w-where did you get that candy bar from again?
Awwww, well cutie the bars are ones I make by with plenty of love, specially for Halloween and a secret recipe I canât just share with anyone
But since you seem to enjoy them so much letâs make a little deal!
Iâll let you Trick or Treat everyday! Just come here with a new fun outfit everyday and youâll never run out of candy bars!
That said the bars work the best if you eat them everyday (and they can have quite some withdrawal symptoms) and I only have you the first bar because your costume was so so adorable and cute and feminine, and just so you know youâve set the standard now cutie!
If you want more candy bars you better come back in an even cuter outfit, and also make sure to walk here in broad daylight where everyone can see! No cars allowed, most of the fun from Halloween is that anyone can see your costume, so you do need the show off phase
Got it cutie? Good Girl! Now take one more bar as a free-bee and I expect you here in much more appropriate clothing tomorrow, if you want another bar of course
#the secret to the bars is also Mega Estrogen#very addictive and extremely unreversable#after just a week the body starts naturally producing estrogen#that danger is why it was banned#but it makes some very very cute girls very very easily#so who cares about potential miss use?#through all my years of giving out these candy bars#every single cutie has eventually thanked me for it#(and also begged me for more#which is always so so cute)#.#i-like-talking#asks open!#forcefem#happy halloween cuties!!!#..#thatâs the end of the Halloween saga!!!#thanks for all the trick or treaters and sorry to anyone I couldnât get to!!!#there were still some very lovely asks in my inbox when I woke up today#know they still made me smile!!!#but you need to stop sometime! each trick or treater I answered led to 2 more coming to my door!#still I hope everyone enjoyed!#that you had a wonderful Halloween#hopefully dressingng up like your true girly selves#and that today wasnât bad either!!!#have a nice day night cuties!#(probably one of my longest note-essays yet#if you read this know youâre a VERY good girl!)
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Juana's favourite memory.
a little story/headcanons up ahead, and the sketch for this piece, tehee ;p
she always liked making flower crowns with her parents, especially when inevitably there were leftover flowers that they could throw unto the air to make it seem like it was raining flowers. her dad was always better at making the crowns, but her mama always found the best flowers to use and which went together well. and she always found the best picnic spots.
her dad made sure there were no bees around and that she always had an epipen with a spare and a spare for the spare. her mana made sure none of the food with them had animal products or nuts, and made sure she had her safe foods.
and our little Juanita made sure her family stuck together. sure her parents bickered, but she always had to faux-gag after they kissed and made up. she got to sit and lean on her mama's chest, curled up in his embrace while the sun warmed her scaly skin, listening to the humming of her dad while he carefully made her the most beautiful flower crown befitting a princess. she got to laugh and giggle while her dad gave her the extra flowers to throw into the air and her mama gave a weather report of incoming "flower rain".
her dad still checks for bees and makes sure he has an epipen and makes flowercrowns, but he no longer has anyone to do it for.
her mama still makes sure there's no nuts or meat in the food he brings with him, but he realises as soon as the rain falls that there's no reason to do it anymore.
and our little huevo isn't there to bring them together.
#qsmp#qsmp slimecicle#qsmp el mariana#juanaflippa#slimeriana#fliporiana#vienoreal arts#qsmp fanart#qsmp juanaflippa#i am huffing copium and it's not working#send help#i spent all day on this please like and reblog#i beg of you to do this for me#i need to share the angst#GO FORTH MY MINIONS#SHARE THE TEARS#SHARE THE NIGHTS SPEND HOLDING YOUR SHATTERED HEART BETWEEN YOUR HANDS#SHARE THE HOURS SPENT PIECING IT TOGETHER AND STITCHING IT BACK UP#SHARE THE KNOWLEDGE THAT THEY CAN NEVER BE HAPPY UNLESS IT IS A DREAM#OR A FADED MEMORY OF A HUEVO LEFT CRACKED AND SCRAMBLED BY THE HANDS OF HER MOTHER WHO LOVED HER#i'm so normal about them#hehehehhahahhshshshhahajdjdhdjnd *sobs*
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college ⊠wasted on the youth (me)
#didnt help that 2/4 yrs was covid telezoom but man.. MANNN#forgetting how impossible it is to pursue rhe degree plan u actually want (advising hell) i feel like . theres just#so many diff things i want to learn now Knowing that im more solidified in my interests and who i am and what i would be interested in doing#and like.đRGAAAAAQH TEARING MYHAIR OUTTT every other week i have a night where im sititng there like damn i couldve been sm1 completely dif#dgmw i still rly enjoy some of the upper div classes i Did take but what if i took x and liked it more or minored in y and it led me to z#bc i do feel rly set in where i am rn which . i DO ! like it but im never gna be in that environment where u have the flexibility to explore#ykwim . i wish i had taken physics and calc srsly . i always thought i hated that shit but i like it. i like it quite a lot actuallyđ#or more geology .. urrghh.. sprinkle in sme extra art history . no bc thats what actu pissed me off ab school#i rmbr wanting to dual major and they straight up told me no i cant . but then i was like maybe an arts major bio minor when i wanted to do#science illustration but sry we dont offer bio minor . ok bio major arh or studio art minor . no sry not enough open spots we rly only#reserve it for when we have extra openings post admissionâ€ïž#and then even late into sophomore year u would still be last in registration so all the cool classes would be closed#and then bc of covid half that shit was cancelled bc they couldnt transfer labs online (rip comparative vertebrate anatomy)#and then by senior yr an additional collection of classes were unavailable bc u dont have the prereqs bc the prereqs were cancelled during#covid and u dont have enough semesters left to actually take it . like it was gen such an awful experience so ik why i couldnt ever do what#i wanted but .đ AND LIKE the classes i DID enjoy like genomics or molecular genetics were closed by registration and i had to email and beg#for access . thts crazy .literally crazy .#anyways . i think i want 2 start reading textbooks bc i think thats the closest ill get LMAOO#i remember seeing my coworker read a textbook for fun one time and idk why i just didnt understand why bc it seemed so dry but i Get it now#like yeah .. u knew what was up ..#sad too that like . i could theoretically audit a course but i Work..during the day .. so sad . so sad#guys wht if i just said yes to grad school (<the devil talking.dont agree)
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silly salvaged and its william just being a looney toons character and just decides to possess random electrical things throughout the pizzaplex and is like "HAHA! TRY TO CATCH ME NOW, MICHAEL!" and then stuff like ovens and lights and pat pats all go haywire and the staff have no idea whats going on but Freddy just is frantically running all throughout the pizzaplex trying to catch william and its just getting real annoying for mike and he's like "God how did cassidy keep doing this for years"
#fnaf#michael afton#five nights at freddyâs#glammike#silly salvaged au#ykw maybe williams like âscrew itâ and possesses Glamrock Freddy and forcefully ejects Mike from it#and then he just possesses Greg's Glamfred Plush and its like the gameplay of SecBreach with all the power going out#poor vanessa pulling her hair out for going on a wild goose chase đđđ#Freddy begging the staff not to put on a show that day because his wack peepaw is trying to scramble for power#oughh wait when freddy is possessed by william he just knocks over a staffbot like âY E S!!! *I* AM IN CONTROL! I *ALWAYS* COME BACK!â#and the other glamrocks are like âFreddy you good kingâ
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Sometimes it's okay to beat things up *grabs baseball bat* PENNYWISE GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE
#just thinking about all the times richie visited eddies grave- OH WAIT HE COULDNT#because eddie didnt fucking get buried and his body is stuck in the sewers and richie tried HE TRIED to get eddie out#but the other stopped him so the sewers wouldnt crumble on him and kill him too#so he had to leave the person he grew up loving and was tormented for by bullies and a clown#so not only did he get picked on for being gay but he also had his best friend and first lover probably only lover die in his arms#eds richie would whisper when they would sleep over as kids#eds richie whispers now in hopes that eddies ghost can hear him and feel his loneliness as he stays awake for days thinking about eddie#and the face he made when he died and richie will sob in the dead of night just begging for eddie to come back#all because i liked a boy#he thought because he thinks pennywise did all this because he's gay and queer and gross and a freak and he deserves this#so he feels like pennywise did him right and eddies death was his fault#fuck pennywise#reddie#welcome to my ted talk#richie tozier#eddie kaspbrak#richie x eddie#eddie x richie#it 2017#it 2019#it book#it movie#pennywise#pennywise the dancing clown#pennywise the clown#homophobia
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aventurine pl. Plea s e . PLLEEEEEEASE
#â
arin rambles#âhere we go againâ you think everytime you see my ramble tag. I dont blame you#AVENTURINE AVENTURINE PLEASE SAVE ME WHITE BOY#OH MY LORD#OH MY GOODNESS GRACIOUS OH MY GOODNESS.#MY JSOE IS RUNNING HES RUINNING MY LIFE I CANT DO THIS ANYMORE IM SO ILL PLEASE I#AVENTURINE. im so serious i can talk about this man all day. and more specifically this video#âit was just posted 30 minutes ago arin youre scaring the kidsâ SILENCE. I NEED SPACE#I NEED A. A MOMENT. EVERYBODY PLEAS GETA WAY FROM ME IM GOING TO GET SO SCARY#Please. Im so sorry. Im begging you . I love this man oh my gish please hes so cute#HES SO CUTE. HES SO CUTE IM SO SICK OF HIM WHY???????? WHY IS HE SO PRETTY HES SO PRETTY HES GOREGOUS HES SO STUNNING. HELLO. HELLO.#Im going to. Slam my head against the wall im overwhelmed with joy and happiness hes everything ive ever wanted ever#any minute not spent talking about him is a moment wasted i promise you MY PRINCESS IM COMING TO SAVE YOU#IM HIS KNIGHT IN SHINING ARMOUR EXCEPT ITS NOT SHINY#IM COVERED IN DIRT#IM STILL COMING FOR YOU AVENTURINE RUN#oh goodness me oh my#im so happy hes so prettu im so happy i cant do rhis im sweating geniumnly i feel so sick#Im cant . Do this anymore. I CANT TAKE IT. I HAVE TO⊠AAUGH⊠AAAHH⊠I HAVE TOâŠ. DANCE!#guysâŠ. he my favorrietâŠ#my slinkyâŠ.. my krimpet⊠my teacup i think. My doc mc stuffins doctor playset. My dishwasher. My italian coldsteel cinquedea . atp anything#hes my EVERYTHING. MY EVERYTHINGâŠ!!!!!!!! *MY TELEKENISIS THROWS EVERYTTHING ACROSS THE ROOM*#yall i dont think ive had a hyperfixation this horribly bad since. Since the. Since. MAN I DONT KNOW#IM COOKED. HE WOMT LEAVE ME ALONE. I LITERALLY DREAMT OF HIM LAST NIGHT LIKE IM SO DOOMED? ACTUALLY?#oh to be medicated and focus on . Things like cooking. Or idk. Getting a job. No i just think about some messed up blonde all day im absolut#ly DOOMED#yes im still yapping i got 30 tags u gon stick through them all. Every single one of them. Dont leave me please i want to talk about him ton#TO SOMEONE. I WANT TO TALK ABOUT HIM TO SOMEONE ALL DAY. ALL MY FRIENDS ARE TESTING. IM LEFT ALONE ALL DAY I JUST WANT TO TALK ABOUT MY WIFE#i womder how crazy i look right now#Sighs lovingly at him..
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Have you guys ever been so disgusted by family snz that you actually start crying
#i don't think my sister thought i was in my room with my headphones off so she didnât bother being quiet and it made me feel sick#headphones on straight away immediately burst into tears#obviously being autistic and extremely sensitive to sound doesn't help but :///#only con to living with her#i get so pissed off because she doesn't drink enough water all day and then has gross reactions by the evening at which point she's home#it's actually vile#and the worst part is she gets actively offended if i look even a little disgusted which i cannot help#we're about to share a hotel room for 4 nights so i am going to beg her to drink water and take antihistamines#anyway. i'm sure it'll be fine but had to type this out because i'm still actively in a state of physical repulsion#i've blocked someone on here before over telling me to not be mean about my sister but honestly fuck you let me vent#nttalks
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Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: A Court of Thorns and Roses Series - Sarah J. Maas Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Azriel/Lucien Vanserra, Cassian/Morrigan (A Court of Thorns and Roses) Characters: Nesta Archeron, Elain Archeron, Feyre Archeron, Azriel (A Court of Thorns and Roses), Cassian (A Court of Thorns and Roses), Morrigan (A Court of Thorns and Roses), Lucien Vanserra Additional Tags: Reborn wrong, High Fae are not the top of the food chain, failmarriage, Cassian decides death is better than divorce, (and also fails to get ritually devoured), Nesta and Elain living their best monster lives, Kindness repaid, cruelty also repaid, High Lord mantle vs legal heir chicanery Series: Part 2 of Donât give them your name. Donât let them get close. Summary:
There is only me, Cassian wanted to shout, to insist, a misery that sat seated so deep in his bones he could not question the absurdity of it.
#CARNASSIAL SEQUEL BELOVEDS#what gets left behind!#what the world is made anew!#some people significantly better off with Rhysand dead#Cassian literally begging to be eaten#Azriel being a canny motherfucker#Lucien! LUCIEN VANSERRA having a good goddamn life#yes I do think#if Rhys suddenly died pre Night Night plot#Feyre would be like: I AM HIGH LADY I WILL SERVE IN HIS HONOR#and the magic. would probably not give a fuck he appointed her because that's not how it works#which frankly#is perfect for her#(does Feyre really think rulers spend all day painting?? whose to say)#listen the girls came out of the Cauldron wrong#but they're so so right#also Cassian gets roasted by a teenager who is basically Nesta's fun nephew so#she's having a blast
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i canât believe i took these photos oh my god i luckily had a great view of the entire concert and wow, again, had thee absolute time of my life. â€ïžâđ©č enhypen, you will always be loved by me.
#spent the entire day crying btw â pcd is real i need two to three business days to process everything and start functioning again#right now all i could think of is DAMN TAKE ME BACK PLS I BEG đ#enhypen are such phenomenal performers with so much love to give oh god if i could say in words how amazing they all are I WOULD#their eyes shining while looking at the crowd OH GOD theyâre everything really !!#and sunooâs cover ???? I CRIED. sunghoon dancing gento ???? OH MY GOD I DIED AGAIN.#jake singing love yourself for us ??? hee singing give me your forever ??? RIKI LIKE THIS DANCE ??? OH MY GOD.#the fireworkd too UGH it was a perfect night like the pre concert experience wasnât the best bc of the heat and some lapses#BUT THE CONCERT ITSELF ??? OUR BOYS ???#OH MY GOD I WOULD GO THROUGH ALL THAT AGAIN AND AGAIN IF IT MEANS SEEING ENHYPEN PERFORM AND BE LOVED AGAIN LIKE THAT.#I LOVE THEM SOSOSO MUCH I CRIED BEFORE DURING AND AFTER THE CONCERT#MY FANCAMS ARE A MESS BUT OH MY GOD IT WAS NOTHING SHORT OF MAGICAL#text post#this is my best picture everything else is unfocused coz i wanted to look at them with my eyes#they are soo beautiful ugh#the entire time i was screaming and crying and singing and dancing IT WAS LITERALLY THEE BEST NIGHT OF MY LIFE#i canât wait to see you again#i canât wait to see you again my sevEN đđ«đ§Ą#i talk too much & that's okay ËââĄ
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oh okay so we're like completely fucked
#made an e-begging post last night that i deleted out of embarrassment this morning but i might remake it#bc as of now we can't split our rent payment like usual (which they didn't inform us of) so even tho we did get some help#we suddenly now have to pay ALL of our rent which is an extra $800 we do not have right now#and i don't even wanna remake the post bc it's too much anyway...#so we might actually get evicted lol#but that would be on the day that a hurricane is supposed to hit us so. yeah.#we wanted to go to the office and ask for an extension but it's closed today and tomorrow :)#win rambles#anyway if anyone wants to give us any money that would be uhhh really nice
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Bro I know you're watching me. Yoh want food or something đŁïž
Please đđ
No one these days feeds the neighborhood ïżŒwatchers
Smh
#iâm joking#please do not feed the neighborhood stalkers-#I may stalk but I do not kidnap#they might#so be careful people#though I am watching you all day and night#so a little crumb here and then I beg đđ#(Iâm joking)#offline thoughts
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not to be with the boomers on this but goddamn im begging my brother to pick up a book and read. I shouldn't have to wait for an assigned english lit book for him to understand dumb classic book memes that my mom and i quote back and forth all day. he literally just got the boo radley refrences we've been making all his life.
today he was drinking a kapri sun he got at the store today with his friends and he was like "the flavor is shakleberry fin" and i'm like "lol, like huckleberry finn" and he didn't know who that was and unforuntately, at the same time my mom and i said, in tandem "read a book."
im just
please.
#for context he's like 15#i've got so many books in my library he can pick from please#am i bad person for wanting him to read a book instead of playing fortnite and watching tiktok all day#like dude please i have hg wells and jules verne and national geo and EAP and so much more#i've got books of movies you've watched PLEASE JUST READ ONE BOOK THIS SUMMER I BEG OF YOU MATTHEW#fuck gonna start reading a short story to zoe every night just to feel like I'm accomplishing something#jim vents#does this count as venting?#shut up jim
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Milly Alcock the woman you are đđđ
AND EMMA D'ARCY WHAT A FINE HUMAN BEING YOU ARE GOOD LOOOORD.
#milly alcock#emma d'arcy#rhaenyra targaryen#im so gay omg#for them#all day#all night#please.#all day all night#any time#whats cookin good lookin#PLEASEEEE.#im begging#also#olivia cooke#but#shhh
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I took this photo of my boy, Miguel, this morning at 6:45am. I knew this would be the last morning I would have waking up with him. He has always slept in my bed and I have always woken up to him nearby. Every single day for the past 15 years and 9 months. And now I have to go to sleep without him near my face or on my back. Not even under my blankets with me. And I will wake up without him. No weight on my legs or meowing for breakfast.
I mostly fear that moment tomorrow morning when I first wake up and I still believe he is here. Itâs going to hurt. Itâs going to hurt so fucking much because in that moment I will be happy again. But it will come and go so fast. I almost want to believe that maybe if I do believe strongly enough, if I can trick myself enough into truly believing he is still here and just in the other room, then maybe the universe will realize its mistake. âThat person believes their cat is still alive so it must be true! We must have made a mistake!â And the universe will plop Miguel back into my arms, healthy and alive and purring. I wish it worked like that.
I miss him so much. And the thing is, Iâve been missing him. Heâs been a little down for a while now. But it got worse around September 15th and by the 20th, he wasnât eating and was stumbling around. Falling and getting cold. I was so fucking scared. I cried into his fur, telling him over and over âIâm not ready. Please donât break my heart. Iâm not ready.â
We got him to a vet and he was extremely anemic. They could barely draw blood. But all the tests came back negative. The only thing they couldnât test for at the time was cancer. They gave him a bunch of medicine and we took him home. We bought him joint meds and iron supplements and senior cat food and treats. Some high calorie snacks to help him gain weight. And he was better for a while. He finally ate some kibble! Which he hadnât eaten in years. He had completely switched to wet food.
So Miguel was eating kibble and drinking water and taking his meds and doing good. He got to see my daughter turn 9 years old. He got to see my sisterâs kids one last time. Because they had recently moved away but unexpectedly dropped by just a few days ago. But this past week he got bad again. Doing the same stuff he was before. Not eating. Drinking lots of water. And, I failed to mention, but while he was eating and âgetting betterâ he was having trouble with leaking poop.
It was hard but this whole week, and really the whole extra month we had with him, Iâve been thinking real hard on his whole situation.
Love hurts. It fucking hurts. Because all love comes with suffering. I must suffer because I love him and I didnât want to force him to stay alive just to avoid the pain of being without him. So I made the choice today, after having him by my side all last night, to euthanize him.
I had him stay in my bed one last time. I didnât care if he made the bed messy. I have a washing machine. I just needed him to know that I love him and that I was going to take care of him. And I think he knew. He kept rubbing his head against me and I petted him all night. Talked to him. Told him everything that was on my mind and how Iâm still not ready, not 100 percent ready, but no one ever is and I wasnât going to have him go another day and night with an empty belly, falling down everywhere. I thanked him for the extra month. That it really helped me get ready. And that he can go play with Molly now. (My daughterâs kitten that died back in January of this year)
I made him a sweater. Hand knitted it. He always loved wearing clothes. It was a beautiful, warm day. A perfect last day. Miguelâs last meal was on Friday. It was a pork street taco for our local Mexican restaurant. I always get the pork ones on Friday because they are on sale. I always order an extra one for him. Iâm glad he got to eat that. That he had the energy to eat that day. The extra month I had him, he got to eat all of his favorite foods. Spaghetti, pork tacos, turkey, pepperoni, bacon, ham. My boy loved ham. And anytime we ordered a bacon cheeseburger he would come over, begging for a bit of bacon. His favorite snack was pepperoni slices. Second favorite snack was strips of ham or turkey lunch meat.
Iâm going to share some pictures of my boy now.
And I apologize for this long, sad post. Especially since I havenât been around Tumblr for a long while. Iâve been with him. My boy. My Miguel.
#he kept looking at me with these eyes all last night#I think he knew because those eyes felt like he was begging me for something but not for food or a snack#I just kept telling myself all this month that âwhen you donât know what to do you do what you canâ#my boy is gone. and idk what to do now#I have 3 other cats to care for and of course they will feel Miguelâs absence#he was their father in a way. he raised them#im so broken#I knew he would die one day especially when he started getting older and older#I always referred to it as âthe day he breaks my heartâ#but Iâm calling it âthe day he went to playâ now because he didnât break my heart#he would never#and he didnât want to#he kept trying to walk and stand and be a cat but it wasnât working and he wasnât going to get better and I could let him hurt like that#it very likely was cancer which means he was hurting even if he didnât let me know#my cat#my Miguel#my boi#personal#tw pet death#tw pet loss
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