#bcos it might be like going out
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Motherfuck I've been added to a gc coordinating debs dresses.... I should probably learn when the debs is huh
#and ive become more amenable to dresses n skirts but i probs wouldnt wear one to the debs#the sheer price on them is fucking shocking. love my friends dearly but i am Not dropping 700 on a dress#might talk 2 my male friends n see what the situation is like for them#bcos it might be like going out#where the girls r like 'im gonna have to repeat a dress from a year ago :( actually shocking' n get all dolled up#and men will wear a jacket.#dress code is probs suits right? wonder if i can get me mam to get me a male cut or smthn.#is that a thing or are womens suits just weird in general bcos i feel like they are
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would u guys still love me if I posted something kind of Violent and grody.
#I like how it looks . Fnowns. It's just very uhhh. Violent . And bloody .#AND FEELS ODD TO POST OUT OF NOWHERE 👎#And hard to explain my thoughts about. It. Waves my hands.#I dunnnooooooooo#I probably won't end up posting it. I might post that other thing I said I wasn't going to tho . Bcos it's pretty .#Bleehehh#watevar#I ENJOY . rendering blood and horror stuff. It's just. Ough
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sorry my posts suck today i have a headache and im stressed about my doctors appiintment tomorrow and its making me stupid. in my brain
#.pdf#rd#worried about not being taken seriously when i say ive had these issues for like a year. cos ive never brought it up before because they-#-were so comparatively mild that i thought it was just chronic work stress manifesting as brief illness episodes. and i was embarrassed-#-about being so stressed out by my simple part-time flexible-schedule job. i thought it would be stupid to complain about something tjat-#-“happens to everyone” and that i had “no reason to be this stressed”#so now i have to go and be like ummmm. hi dr. im stupid and ummm 🥺 i know i said i was doing fine but i think i was wrong i sick now#which makes me feel like im making it the fuck up. like im a “healthy” 22 year old with normal bloodwork im scared shes gonna dismiss me-#-when i say that ive picked up on a symptom pattern characteristic of me/cfs and over the past 3 months its gotten so bad i can barely work#my mother also wants me to ask for a referral to a place that does POTS testing bcos i have some of those symptoms as well#and im concerned about going “heyy i know i was like fine last year but do you think i might have TWO entire chronic illnesses perhaps”#cos ive seen. so many stupid comments from doctors and nurses on reddit tiktok etc saying patients “like me” are faking/attention seeking#scary..#grrrrrrrr. what ever. idk just wish me luck i guess
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ooohhh yeeeee the isolation i s HITTING today it's hitting so so fucking good
#god i love living in the shining irl#idk why but for 4 years ive been like 'social media will help with this'#like i get online and ykno.. it's fun it's really nice ! i love the lil communities im a part of#i love expressing myself creatively and seeing other people's work and obsessing over lil shows and stories#i know its not that serious#i know i need to get the fuck out of this house and off the internet but it's so fucking hard#bcos no one masks anymore first of all#and 2nd i just .. idk !! i really like the vibes here ! i wish i could just chill and feel.. a 'part'#but ultimately i might need to go back to 1 hour of social media TOPS per day#cos im in painnnnn im in physical pain c: torment type shit#i think quitting my job might help a little??#but anyway fuck covid#fuck this violent white supremacist ass country#pivoting hard from the tone of this post but if anyone wants to kiki on discord or follow each other on insta just hml xD#i swear im .. more fun.. than this post probably portrays lol#lmaooo .. ugh.. oof... ok yea gonna go clean my house now
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#what would i shit post about#i have so many followers on here now i feel like i might ruin everything if i go back to posting like i used to#i only have followers tho i feel like bcos people think i am fall out boy#which like IM NOT AND IF U LOOK AT ME BLOG ITS NOT A FOB BLOG EITHER#i mean i still love them a lot i just seen them live with my bb in june#Anyways#lmk
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...is arnold from the magic school bus okay??? he almost killed himself in space twice
#tw suicide#<-MAYBE??? i guess?? im not taking chances#also maybe they should stop going to space#stop taking chances bcos this seems like arnold's ideal suicide#if i had a nickel for every time the ginger kid from the magic school bus tried to kill himself in space id have two nickels#which isnt alot but it's weird (concerning) that it happened twice#(my little brother has been watching the new netflix magic school bus recently)#(it looks weird to me but it's mainly making me more concerned for arnold bcos he almost died in space in the original series#and he almost dies again in the new one in a different way)#(maybe they shouldve listened to arnold and made it a normal field trip#these space trips might be his final straw)#(and also these all seem pretty dangerous anyway#like wdym new ms frizzle is worried the kids wont make it out??#wtf???)#(anyway carlos best magic school bus character obviously)
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Reconsidering The Bra Issue bcos sometimes a sports bra might be nice but also like if I get one while I still live w my family my mams gonna take it as me accepting that I Need to wear bras as like a societal thing... maybe if I throw the transgenderism thing (which she doesnt know abt yet) and the autism thing at her at the same time, shell be so flabbergasted that she'll cave
#like id try 2 ease her into it going 'hey u know how its a known fact about me that i have to wear socks inside out bcos sensory issues.'#'do u know how tight bras are. do u think i could wear a fucking bra inside out. its not working'#and like some chest compression WOULD be nice on occassion both bcos trans and autism#but like im for sure not gonna get that from a normal bra which is what she expects fron me#argh my moms actuslly great n im sure that if i ever did talk to her abt it she would be fine and wed work out an alternative#but also like... confrontation scary....#im slowly revealing things abt myself 2 my mom bcos i dont wanna spook her and also therss a lot going on in here thatd be confusing#likr when i kept the pcos beard she asked 'is this bcos of trans issues' and i said no#firstly bcos i was like O_o trans issues....#and secondly bcos like. not rlly? like the gender from the beard is A+#but i also have it bcos it seems like unwarranted effort to shave it and i like stimming w it#and if i said yes then shed probs chalk up my rejection of feminine social norms as a trans thing. no bestie i just dont care#im well aware that im a bit of a hippy but we go#anyway whenever i get my eng mock back that might be a good time to come out#bcos she always likes reading my personal essays n short stories n shit bcos#'you dont tell me when youre having issues and this is p much the biggest glimpse into your psyche that i get' lol#and for the short story i wrote abt a bigender person in a way thats like. WAY obviously projecting. teehee#anyway
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grumble grumble guess whos getting another book concept... (kicks an empty can)
#ramblings#mar does writing#at least i dont have to worry about running out of ideas -_-#oh hey actually yknow what i could repurpose- wait no paper snow wouldnt work bcos its got wolves#anyways the new concept is: ya elemental foxes#or maybe middle grade?#i think id want different kingdoms or states etc in it#maybe based around the specific element? but from a lens of conflicting accessibility needs in disability#ice foxes can go hang out in the desert but it might not be a healthy decision etc#w questions about what makes a good meaningful life#and questioning the idea of health being required to be happy etc#also ive written a lot on issues in animal fiction but jic anybody is new here.#all the foxes would be the same species and there would be no inherent genetic issues w kids etc#i think there may be some genetic component but not necessarily- like w irl disabilities#i want to avoid insinuations of eugenics etc in the worldbuilding#perhaps a generic fox doesnt have an element but can spontaneously develop one?#really could work well w some chronic illness allegories esp tbh like#immunodeficiency being an elemental fox w a lack of energy maybe? or like. 'energy#' themed. or nature like plants etc.#temperature sensitivities or prior conditions like heat exhaustion translates p well to ice elemental#etc etc etc#not going to put the Whole concept here#but im going to have fun designing this!#so many animal fictions have such. poorly done allegories#that are outright contradicted by the content of their own books#itll be neat to test how good ive gotten at constructing allegory
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email this morning from someone in a different department like:
employee in other department: hi colleague Nis it okay for me to join the celebratory meal tomorrow evening their manager: colleague N is off, Katie can you confirm?
sitting there like hm ok this is the first I've heard about any celebratory meal. N is out of the office till wednesday. i guess i can call the restaurant. can i get some more details on that please.
manager: it's a 20 year anniversary celebration with the CEO
ok but where??
get the restaurant name and google it to find their number. turns out they have 3 locations, 2 of which are on George Street and George IV Bridge respectively (this will be important later)
email manager back and ask which of the 3 restaurants it is. he says George Street.
call the restaurant. give them the time & date and say I'm not sure of the name. they suggest various names. i give them N's name and the name of the CEO. they say we'll need to pay a deposit if we want to make a booking
I'm certain that if co-worker N said she booked this before she went on leave them she did in fact book it before she went on leave
restaurant confirms that hypothetically yes adding an extra person won't be a problem
email the manager back to pass this on and also to let him know that they couldn't find the booking. ask if he's 100% certain about the time and date
he sends me a copy of the outlook invitation w the time and date. notice that the location on the invite is actually George IV Bridge
suggests that i should just make another booking (fair) and that if we've made 2 deposits which can ask for a refund
person I spoke to earlier said she'd checked all 3 locations but decide to call the George IV Bridge restaurant anyway
'oh yes I spoke to N this morning'
im pretty sure this is a different person than I spoke to earlier but can't be sure so its possible she's mixing up my name and the name i gave for the booking, esp as N isn't working today. we go back and forth on this for a while
'N called and changed the name on the booking to her name bcos she thought people might get confused'
realise N must have either been alerted to the fact that Confusion was happening or pre-empted this situation
'thank you very much now is it at George IV Bridge or George Street'
its at George Street. do we want to change it to George IV Bridge.
'i will check'
manager confirms that it 100% was supposed to be George Street.
mystery solved. this is all the fucking Georgians fault.
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L. KENNEDY, C. REDFIELD, C. OLIVEIRA X READER (SEPARATE)
ೃ⁀➷ sypnosis; christmas hc’s
ೃ⁀➷ warnings; none! pure fluff
ೃ⁀➷ author’s note; ho ho ho merry christmas idc if its nov its christmas time… do ppl drink on christmas? we do so idek? icl this is all like stuff i made up bcos i don’t celebrate christmas like this but wtv we roll #wesołychświąt
C. OLIVEIRA
do not let this man near the kitchen. everything that can go wrong goes WRONG
ask him to take something out the oven, he drops it. ask him to stir something in the bowl he stirs too vigorously and it goes flying all over the counters
he’s a pain. he’s distracting. constantly getting infront of you with the mistletoe, thinking he’s slick by trying to sneak in kisses. constantly sneaking bites of food whenever he thinks you’re not looking (you are, and you smack his hands away with a spoon)
one thing he’s actually good at and enjoys is cookie decorating. he’ll make little gingerbread men of you two and make them so damn detailed. makes one for jill too, though with less care and her face ends up a bit… strange
he’s THAT person which is always ringing everyone, friends and family, wishing them a merry christmas and sends them stupid gifs slavic babcias love so much (if u dont know what i mean then☹️)
LOVES the whole aspect of the christmas tree yet hates putting it together, it pisses him off to no end and half way through ends up calling you over to help him… definitely picks you up so that you can put the star on top
if he gets an ugly christmas sweater you best believe he’s wearing it for the full day, no shame
L. KENNEDY
depends which leon we’re talking about
younger leon puts in more effort, older leon genuinely can’t be fucked to do much
walks around with a trash bag when everyone’s opening presents so there’s no mess on the floor
your guys’ house is literally the christmas function. every year. mostly due to you inviting everyone round and deciding to host it, much to leon’s annoyance but he doesn’t mind THAT much since he loves you!!
definitely the best gift giver. for some damn reason he just knows what everyone wants, genuinely no explanation for it. he just does
he’s such a sweetheart, constantly asking you if you need help with anything in the kitchen or whether you need him to pop to the store for anything
he 100% sang carols when he was younger. just imagine 7 year old leon, hair gelled back, button up shirt, stood infront of the tv singing carols (lets pretend he didn’t have all that trauma okay)… get him to sing again, he might cave once he’s drunk enough with chris
on the topic of chris, something ALWAYS happens when the pair have had a few and aren’t sober any longer. something always gets broken for some reason
one year, they randomly got up and started dancing. leon went flying into the christmas tree and took it down with him.
i hc him as having a rather large sweet tooth, so he’s always down for some cookie decorating! it’s rather sloppy and they end up looking questionable most of the time, but he ends up eating half of them before he’s even fully finished decorating so that’s not much of a problem anyways
C. REDFIELD
santa. need i say more?
nag him constantly to wear a santa outfit or atleast a santa hat. he will cave eventually
DEFINITELY gets a wallet for christmas every damn year without fail, yet doesn’t even use the damn wallets
him in the kitchen helping you out is definitely… something. he doesn’t know how to measure - what the fuck is a cup?
you asked him to help you out and stuff the turkey. he walked out the kitchen.
gets claire shitty gifts on purpose but then gives her her ACTUAL gift. they’re siblings after all, he can’t help it, old habits die hard
hates decorating the outside of the house. it’s his nightmare. all the stupid lights, just no
goes CRAZY on your gift. it’s like a little reward for all the effort you go through every year, and it’s always something you wanted badly and doesn’t fail to put a smile on your face
he’s not necessarily a fan of sweet things, but hot chocolate? that’s a completely different story entirely, you end up having to send him to buy milk since he drank the whole damn carton and there’s none left by the time you get around to actually preparing for dinner
like leon, sits there with a trash bag. he gives such dad vibes i can’t stop imagining it
him and leon ultimate christmas duo after a few drinks. all of a sudden chris is in the biggest christmas spirit ever and can’t get last christmas out his head
best thing is? he’s not even too big on christmas. he actually celebrates it just because of you, what a sweetheart
#ೃ⁀➷. olka’s bs#resident evil#leon kennedy#leon kennedy x reader#leon scott kennedy x reader#chris redfield#chris redfield x reader#carlos oliveira#carlos oliveira x reader#resident evil 4#resident evil 5#resident evil 3
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here, have some incredibly personal laios x reader hurt/comfort, written as therapy in the form of reader insert bcos i was sad today, might be a bit ooc idk man :)
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“You know, I actually love when you ask me for things, when you tell me you’re feeling down, or if I’ve upset you.”
You raised your red-rimmed, apprehensive gaze to meet Laios’ eyes, clear and completely earnest as he smiled at you. Weakly, you tried to return the expression. It didn’t feel very convincing.
“It makes me feel like you love me and trust me. That you trust me enough to be honest - that you trust me to comfort you, to do better by you, that you believe in me and my ability to meet your needs, that you believe I can be there for you in a way that makes you happy,” he elaborated, reaching his hands out and taking yours. “I feel valued.”
You flitted from golden eye to golden eye, searching his expression desperately for any inconsistency, any unfinished edge, any loose thread that would unravel his perfect honesty and found none. Your frail smile faltered. He was like the life-giving sun, but you felt as though you were in the desert being beat down by his radiance. You wanted to shrink away, and your shoulders hunched. Oh that sentiment was so nice, and certainly he meant it. But that just meant it would hurt exponentially more when he was done with you, when he finally realized-
“What’s going on? What are you thinking?” He stooped his head closer to yours, and tears welled up in your eyes, your lips parted in a wince as you shook your head. Laios’ brow furrowed. “No, something’s wrong. This is what I mean: I want to help you, you want me to help you, but I can’t unless you tell me what’s going on! So please just tell me what you’re thinking!” The urgency in his voice struck you like an arrow through the heart.
It wasn’t like you could be much more humiliated than you already were. It felt like it was already over, it was going to blow to pieces either way. Your thoughts felt slippery as you gathered them as best you could, your vision starting to blur. You turned your gaze downwards, you couldn’t even look Laios in the eye as you drew a shaky breath in.
“You say that, but,” your voice was quiet, “you don’t understand - we’ll both regret it when you realize…” The words caught, you couldn’t say it.
“When I realize what?” He insisted.
The few seconds of silence felt like an hour. Then, quiet as a whisper, you admitted, with much difficulty: “My needs… my feelings… I’m really hard to deal with… I'm too much... You’ll realize I’m a huge fucking burden, and then you won’t want me anymore!!” You sobbed, and before the tears could fall you covered your face with your hands and hung your head, feeling two inches tall, feeling so deeply embarrassed and ashamed to the core of your being. You wished you could just disappear.
"You think I don't already know you're a burden?"
The words shocked and pained you so deeply you stopped crying, eyes shot up in gape-mouthed, grief stricken disbelief as you recoiled. He was fast with it. All these years, nobody had ever affirmed your belief so directly, nobody had ever stated it so plainly. You'd heard many empty platitudes that were hard to believe, precisely because in the end they had always proved you right - whatever you needed the most, whenever you needed it the most, you were always left in the dust, alone and despairing, and feeling like the biggest idiot in the world for your blind hope.
You saw his face change - he cringed, looking extremely pained, and with panic started to explain: "D-Don't get me wrong! Agh..." For a moment he held his brow in his palm, then took a deep breath, composing himself before he continued. He grabbed you by the shoulders.
"Everyone's a burden, aren't they? Just thinking of my friends - Marcille is really picky and particular. Chilchuck is way too proud and secretive, and he drinks a lot. Falin is my little sister, so I have to be there for her, look out for her. And Senshi... Well, Senshi seems to have a lot figured out already." He paused, and broke eye contact for a moment to look at the floor. "And we all know how I am..." His tone was incredibly loaded, and your heart broke because he was the brightest and most vibrant being you had ever met, having faced a lifetime of hardship and betrayal and still coming out the other side so true to himself.
He leaned in closer to your face. "The point is, though, they all have needs - and they know how to ask for help when they need it! You only ask for help when it becomes an emergency. If even then." His expression softened. "I know you have lots of needs. I know because I've worked really hard to meet them, without embarrassing or scaring you by asking. And it meant a lot of thinking, constant planning, lying awake at night wondering, asking everyone for advice... It's tiring work." He went down the list and you broke his gaze, looking downwards. You felt low, ashamed at all the trouble you've caused him, all because you tried to be no trouble at all. What a right mess you've made.
"Hey, look at me," his hand came up, fingers resting so gently on your jaw, and your watery eyes obliged. "I did it because I wanted to! It makes me happy to see you happy, or fulfilled, or relieved, and to know that it's because of me! I did all of that because I love you! But I can’t keep up with all that hard work all the time. I don’t think it’s fair.” You had been fending off the tears as you listened but now the dam broke again, hot as they rolled down your face, and you sniffled as your nose clogged up. “So can you please help me help you easier? Would you please help me love you like that?” His eyes were glassy now as he looked down at you.
The cry came out of your throat as a whine as Laios took you in his arms, embracing you tight while you sobbed into his chest, clutching at the fabric of his shirt around his back. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorryyy,” you repeated through the tears and he shushed you, holding you while you cried it out until your gasping, hiccuping breaths slowed and calmed.
It was hard to say what you needed to say next, because you had to admit you were wrong about something you had believed so deeply for most of your life. It wasn’t easy to fully give up the idea that had kept you safe for so long. “I’ll try to be more honest about my feelings… and to ask for help before it’s too late…” Still in his embrace you lifted your head to look up at him, and stared into his eyes with intensity. “It’s terrifying, I won’t lie. But… I trust you.” How couldn’t you trust someone who was so deeply genuine as he was?
He leaned down and pressed a lingering kiss to your forehead between your brows, and your eyes rolled closed. When he pulled away you turned your head and pressed your ear to his chest. “I want you to be happy. I want this to work. I love you so much,” he said, and you felt the words rumble against your cheek.
“I love you too,” you murmured, lulled by the sound of his breath and heartbeat.
#i wasnt gonna tag this but maybe someone else needs it too#laios touden x reader#laios x reader#dm#dm laios#x.writing
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You also have to take into account that this room was designed to hurt Rufus physically & psychologically ( Rufus is not disabled because of the WEAPON blast, it's because of the L room lacking anything to cushion his arrival, resulting in him getting wounds you would usually get when you get into a car crash)
Even if Shinra sr had affection for him, he was still willing to hurt him as much as he could while forcing Rufus to recognize that he loved him if he want to get out, making it a form of unintentionnal gaslighting.
As silly the slide & the L room is, it portrays well how absolutely complex & messed up an abusive parent/child relationship can be. Being able to hurt people despite the fact you love them is terrifying on its own right & what make it worse is how Shinra sr conceptualized that room for his 5 y old who was trying to butter him up & was worried for him.
he went down the loser chute
#also kinda noticed how his attitude toward a kid rufus is different then when he's around other people#like he seems a rather controlled monster usually but in that flashback#he's needy for praise from his own kid & lash out at him. Which tbh fits how abusive parents only hurt their fam behind close doors.#i think he is hard on Rufus bcos he just sees him as a potential extension of himself#& knowing how the devs portray him as someone who used to be good natured but the backlash against his company made him an extremist#I think you can see that thru his reaction to Rufus here#like " how dare you not agree with everything i do#& ultimately#which might be ego-fulfilling in a way#& there's also now the f'ed part about him using an organization his own son funded to commit mass murder & go to war
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in every universe? | cl16
pairing(s): charles leclerc x fem!reader
content warning(s): use of y/n, pretending the university of monaco has an architecture course shhhh, inaccurate architecture course information bcos i am lazy, ma**ia bin**to mention IM SORRY
word count: 2,580
note: this is my longesttt fic yet and i had so much fun writing it!! i hope you like it just as much ����🏻
masterlist!
"so in summary, i want to see how you will finance your project while keeping your budget in mind, any issues you may come across and their solutions, the influence behind it, how it might impact the environment and the population as well as visual aids to guide the audience. these presentations are due next month and remember! it is your responsibility to arrange times to work on the presentation together. i won't be accepting any excuses whatsoever!"
you chewed on the end of your pen at your professor's reminder as you watched everyone filter out the doors from your seat right at the back.
group projects always meant you would have to do all the work yourself just to share equal credit with everyone else in the group who didn't even attempt to contribute. this project was unlikely to be any different. it didn't help that you hadn't yet managed to make any genuine friendships with your classmates. it was understandable though, considering the expected workload at such a renowned university like monaco.
"hi, are you y/n l/n?"
too deep in your own thoughts about the assignment, you didn't realise the room had emptied completely. you also didn't realise other people apart from your professor knew your name. moving your gaze up to the source of the sound, you found a man almost too good looking to be true.
"oh, uh, yeah. yes, i am. sorry, who are you?"
with each word that escaped your mouth, you felt your face heating up. you didn't mean to be rude but you truly had no idea who you were talking to. how had you never noticed this greek god of a man in your class until now?
"i'm charles leclerc. we're in a group together for the assignment and i thought it would be a good idea to get your number so we can talk set up a time to talk about our ideas."
he held out his unlocked phone to you, inviting you to type in your number. if he was offended by your failure to recognise him it certainly didn't show which helped calm your frazzled nerves.
"oh, of course! sorry, i'm not used to someone else taking responsibility in a group project. usually i'm stuck doing everyone's work on top of my own. here you go." you replied while saving your number into his contacts.
he smiled at your admission and reassured you he wouldn't dare leave you to handle the entire project alone.
"i already have everyone else's numbers so i'll make a groupchat too. when are you free?"
as much as you would like to lie and say you had a life outside of studying, you didn't. but you would gladly say yes to any get together if it meant charles would be there too.
"honestly, i'm always free so any time works for me." you explained while packing your bag and standing up from your seat.
he grinned and walked with you towards the exit and out the building.
"yeah? how about now? there's this café i've heard is really good and i've been meaning to try it, i just haven't had the time recently."
you stopped in your tracks.
was he asking you on a date? this was definitely new. obviously you had been in a few relationships before but they had never quite managed to get you flustered like this on the first meeting.
truth be told, he had gone to that café a million times over as it was the closest one to campus that served the best croissants for cheap but you didn't need to know that.
"are you asking me on a date?" you asked, not hesitating to get straight to the point.
his grin flickered for a split second, almost in surprise at your bluntness, before growing impossibly wider.
"uh, yeah, i'm asking you on a date right now. so? what do you say?"
"hmmm, and what do i get out of it if i say yes?"
you didn't think twice about taking him up on his offer but it was fun to watch him scramble for reasons you should have a coffee with him. you watched him come up with several nonsensical arguments before you decided to put him out of his misery.
"relax, i'll go on a date with you! you should've seen your face!"
he blushed at your antics before joining in your giggles at his own expense. he had a feeling your laughter would become his favourite sound.
"what are you waiting for then? lead the way."
unsurprisingly, you two were the only ones who took part in the group project but you couldn't complain when you had such good company to help you.
"this is charles leclerc, he will be your race engineer starting from next season." your team principal fred vasseur gently pushed you away from your teammate to the new hire fresh out of internship at haas.
after the quick decline of your 2022 season, ferrari had wasted no time in sacking binotto and your less than competent engineer for much more suitably equipped individuals.
"pleasure to meet you, charles. i'm y/n l/n. are you sure you're ready for this?" you outstretch your hand to shake his.
"thank you, it's a pleasure to meet you as well, you are an inspiration to so many. i'm extremely grateful to be given this opportunity to work with such a talented driver like yourself. and yes i'm one hundred percent ready to give my everything so you can bring home some wins and maybe even the championship." he spoke with a conviction almost as if he had been practicing it in the mirror for weeks.
his hand wrapped around yours and you couldn't help but notice how warm they were even in the frigid winter. you grinned at his confidence and faith in not only himself but also the team and you as a driver. it was certainly the energy you needed after the less than impressive season that you had just wrapped up.
"i like him already! so much more positive than my last engineer. where have you been all this time?" you declared patting him on the back while looking at your team principal in approval.
he was so sure you could notice the pink tinge on his cheeks as he nervously smiled at your praise and suddenly found the carpeted floor the most interesting thing in the room to observe.
"i'm glad you two are getting along! now let's get on with this meeting. i would like to get home at a reasonable time today."
as the meeting dragged on, you found yourself staring at charles opposite you out of nothing but pure curiosity and maybe a little bit of humour. it was clear he harboured some feelings towards you that he couldn't hide no matter how hard he tried. that much was evident in the way he refused to even glance in your direction at the risk of making eye contact.
"we don't quite know how the others will perform yet but we definitely expect to be more on pace with red bull next year. this season wasn't our best but it gives us a good foundation to improve on which is better than nothing. any questions?"
even if there were any questions left unanswered everyone was much too tired to articulate them and so the meeting room fell into silence before you all said your goodbyes to each other wishing everyone a restful winter break.
you were headed out the door when you heard your name being called. you turned to see charles jogging to catch up to you and so you decided to wait for him at the exit.
"you excited for the winter break?" you strike up a conversation with him as you dawdled towards the car park together.
"yes, but i'm more excited for the season to start. i've been preparing for this my whole life. what about you? surely you're tired of being in the car?" he questioned with genuine interest.
"no, not really. i mean i've been preparing for this my whole life too. the travelling is a lot to handle but there's nothing more i enjoy than being in the car. don't get me wrong, i do like being at home too. i just love racing so much i wish i could do it all the time."
"really? you don't ever get tired of racing?" he looked over at you in wonder and you smiled at his disbelief.
"really. ever since i was a kid i've always wanted to be racing constantly. what about you? i mean pretty much all of us drivers got into the sport through karting. what made you want to be a race engineer?"
"well actually i did get into karting too. my father took me and my brothers to a local track and it all started there. i liked karting but i was always more interested in the technical side. my younger brother arthur liked it a lot though and he decided to pursue a career. he's actually stepping up to formula 2 next year."
"yeah? he must be pretty good then." you didn't recognise his brother's name because you were too busy with your own preparation every race weekend to watch the support series but you took his word for it.
"yeah, i'm really glad he's made it this far. we didn't have much money for karting when he was just starting out but we managed to make it work."
you were all too familiar with the struggles of funding and putting together enough sponsors just to make it through the season. there were already very few people getting into motorsport and the high costs didn't help. you had seen too many young talents drop out because they just couldn't afford it anymore. you were one of the lucky ones to secure a place in the ferrari driver academy and have their money to fall back on.
realising you were getting closer and closer to your car, you slowed down in hopes you could keep talking to charles for longer.
"so, why ferrari? it's a team with lots of history but we haven't won a championship since 2008." you asked with no ill intentions.
you really were just interested seeing as the team was currently the laughing stock amongst the grid and the fans - which you didn't blame them for. they had thrown away several chances of a championship with some of the most talented drivers, purely due to their own inability to perform when it was needed most.
"that doesn't matter to me. i've supported ferrari since i was little so it wasn't even a question which team i wanted to join. i remember i used to always follow the red car when they raced at monaco even before i knew it was a ferrari. anyone who has the chance to be a part of ferrari, would take that chance, no? i've barely started here but there's something special about being a part of ferrari." he explained with a look in his eyes that you could only imagine was the same wonder that appeared when watching the red ferrari of kimi räikkönen speed around his home track.
"what about you? you're the one who actually drives for ferrari so what made you sign with them?"
you stopped upon reaching your car neatly tucked inside the white lines.
"ah, i would love to tell you but i do have to get home."
charles' smile fell before he agreed, making his own excuses about his neighbours complaining of his late night ruckus he caused. both of you were disappointed at the fact you couldn't just keep talking for hours but you had another idea up your sleeve.
"but i would be happy to have dinner with you tomorrow to continue this conversation if you're free? if you want to join me that is! you don't have to."
"no, no i want to! that would be great! here's my number. i'll pick you up at 7?"
his initial plans of acting casual around you had been thrown out the window and he was already wishing for time to go faster. you couldn't help but smile at his eagerness - it was a change from your usually soulless dates who treated you like arm candy.
"great! thank you, charles, really. i haven't been this optimistic about an upcoming season in a while but you've already made me excited for the future, even though we just met. i have a feeling we're going to enjoy a lot of victories together." you admitted honestly.
you hadn't been completely happy with any of your seasons with the scuderia so far, always hungry for more despite exceeding the expectations of many.
"thank you, that's the biggest compliment i could receive. i have no doubt we can bring the team many wins."
the 2023 season went on to be one of your best performances in a time where red bull dominance was ever growing. although the championship was not quite in your firm grasp just yet, you had come closer than ever with the help of new management and, more importantly, charles. this was simply the beginning for you two.
"hey charles?" you called out looking up from your phone screen to find him pulling on his race suit.
"yes, mon ange?" he replied turning to face you sitting on the tiny bed.
even though you two had been dating for years, him and his pet names never failed to fluster you.
"do you think we're soulmates in every universe?" you asked after seeing the tik tok trend appear on your phone.
you weren't really expecting a serious answer from charles. you knew it was a silly theory but you decided to entertain the thought. however it seemed that charles had a different idea.
"maybe, maybe not. i'd like to think we are but even if we're not, that doesn't matter. what matters is that we're together in this one, no? besides, even if we weren't destined to be together, i'd still find you and choose you in every universe." he voiced casually, placing a soft kiss on your forehead while looking around the room for his racing boots.
his confessions of undying love to you had become a daily occurrence and it was always certain his words would make your heart melt.
"you've seen the trend, haven't you?" you questioned him. there was no way he had just come up with that answer on the spot.
"what trend? mon amour, you know i am not on social media as much as you are."
"the tik tok trend! are you sure you haven't seen it?"
"yes, i am very sure, mon ange. come on, i don't need to see a tik tok to tell you that i will always choose you."
you didn't fully believe him but you also knew that he was a terrible liar, his facial expressions giving him away no matter what with each attempt made.
"come here. one last good luck kiss for me?" he asked with a pleading look you could never deny and pulled you from the bed by your arms.
"of course, my love. i want you back safe in one piece, ok?" you held his face in your hands and placed a delicate kiss on his forehead, nose, each cheek and finally, his lips.
"anything for you."
#f1 x reader#f1 fanfic#f1 fic#f1 x you#f1 imagine#formula 1 imagine#cl16#charles leclerc x reader#charles leclerc fluff#charles leclerc fic#charles leclerc imagine#charles leclerc fanfic#charles leclerc x you#charles leclerc oneshot#charles leclerc x female reader
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CHASING PAVEMENTS (PART II) 𓇼 (P.JS)
PAIRING ⇨ park jisung x fem! reader
GENRE ⇨ continuation of chasing pavements, angst, smut, brother's best friend trope, fwb/secret relationship, fluff
WARNING ⇨ !!sexual content!! (minors dni) jisung is an asshole, reader is frustatingly naive, not much honestly
SUMMARY ⇨ In which jisung's derived thoughts leads him to an unlikely arrangement with chenle's sister, where he fucks up (quite literally) when he realises how deep in the feels he has for the girl he is suppose to show disinterest to, in honour of 'BRO CODE'.
TAGLIST ⇨ @heyitsconysstuff @toroufriteh @chaerfull @fly-inghighx @tangerinehyuck @taexoxosgf @kazscara @seonghwa9ie @bleuczennie @bekah931215 @bl--ankhaeji @mad2lyn @fakeuwus @sinsgaybutthatsokay @crzns <3
AUTHOR'S NOTE: this definitely took longer than i expected bcos i didn't plan for the plot to go this way honestly so i hope you guys like it!
IS IT POSSIBLE TO MEND A BROKEN HEART?
The answer to that is uncertain. To let go of someone you once cherished was something you thought you could never do. Were you being dramatic?
Absolutely.
But that doesn't make it any less hurtful. You weren't really doing well ever since the incident at the party. Left in tears of anger as you come to the realisation of being used. You hated being treated like an idiot.
Why on earth would Jisung waltzed in and declare his feelings for you when he has done nothing to prove it?
Chaeryeong and Yunjin were furious when presented with this information. A string of curses escaped their lips as the both of them console you in their dorm, you were a mess when you realised how much you still had feelings for the idiotic boy.
He's no good for you.
Is what you keep telling yourself whenever a notification would appear on your screen with his name on it.
It was a bad idea from the start to get too attached to him. An idiot you were to let your mind play out a fantasy with your lovesick crush, thinking you could get a happy ending out of it. As much as you wanted to forget him, it was difficult when he was a part of your life for so long, practically your childhood. Plus, it was hard to avoid him when he is the closest friend to Chenle, having that connection that would still make him try his advances on you.
In fact, he would still attempt to be near you in any way he could, despite the previous event. Texting you everyday, begging for forgiveness, approaching you in class with a snack in hand to give, being the one to wave to you whenever you walked passed each other, all of which you were dismissal to. Everyone was definitely shocked with the sudden change of scenery, having had used to you being the one chasing after him.
THURSDAY.
Chenle has definitely seen the awkward tension between the both of you, especially when one particular day he called you to ask to pick up something for him and you would come into their dorm later that day. He saw how Jisung would be the first to open the door in such a hurry. Chenle didn't think much of it but he was fairly suspicious at the fact that Jisung was the one doing the longing stares as you ignored his presence, being the one to initaite a conversation, but was cut short when you gave him sharp responses.
However your brother didn't have a mind of Einstein, oblivious as ever as he shrugged it off, thinking that Jisung was trying to be nice even though he has never tried to interact with you before.
Much things could not be said to his roommate, Haechan, who has predicted this might happen, knowing well enough how clueless the younger is at dealing with his feelings. Offering a friendly word of advice to his friend.
"You should really give her time."
But that was not what Jisung did, he was stubborn as ever. He wanted you to understand how much he regretted his actions. He didn't care how long it will take for him to gain your trust, his heart was set in making you forgive him.
Even if it meant that he was ruining his pride, it was long gone when he realised that he would be losing you in the process. He didn't know what he had until it was gone. Those times where you would constantly be by his side, ready to annoy him made him yearned for the moment to come again. He couldn't return your feelings because he was scared of what his best friend might think, but he couldn't care less about those stuff anymore. Hurting you was his last option.
Yet that was what he did.
He hurt you. Deeply.
Now he has to face the consequences and make up for it, no matter how long it will take him to get there.
"Can you please move?"
Your voice had a hint of annoyance, teeth gritting as Jisung stood in front of your locker for what it seems to be like the 10th time.
The male stubbornly moved to the side but still kept a close contact with you, much to your dismay.
"So, are you free today?" He jumped when you slammed the locker door shut, a sarcastic smile played on your lips.
"No." You held your books tightly, preparing to walk away.
However, he was close to your pace, trailing beside you. "Well, how about tomorrow? I heard that there's this really good pla—"
"Not interested."
You cut him off harshly.
"Why not?"
He defiantly asked.
You stopped in your tracks, ready to give an earful at his audacity. But before you could open your mouth, Seungmin came in and wrapped an arm around you. You sigh in relief, thankful that someone is here to save you.
"Hey! You ready?" Seungmin smiled, his eyes glanced towards Jisung, whose jaw was clenched in anger.
"Of course, let's go!" You walked away, ignoring the calls of Jisung.
"Thanks for saving me." You sighed once Jisung was out of sight. The male chuckled, "Wow, he seems really desperate this time."
"Unfortunately, Chenle was accusing me of 'brainwashing' him." You said, using air-quotes. "I don't know how long I can take this."
"Maybe you should talk it out again." Seungmin suggested.
"Nope, definitely not." You disagreed, Seungmin laughing at how quick your response was.
Ever since the party, you got closer to Seungmin. You had realised how much the both of you had in common and you found yourself talking to him. Even after your 'talk' with Jisung that day, Seungmin offered you company as the both of you walked back to your dorm. Overtime, you got comfortable with him, much to Jisung's dismay as he watched how Seungmin would cling onto your side now. Despite filling in on your personal history with your brother's best friend, Seungmin never tried to make a move on you, knowing that the last thing you want is a relationship. Like a kind-hearted person he is, he offered a shoulder to cry on and a ear to listen to.
"I'm so tired. Finals are killing me." You groaned, craning your neck from the soreness.
You had finally finished the project that was assigned three hours ago, being a fairly good student, it was a habit that you developed in order to ensure you didn't have a heavy workload. However, the more that your finals were nearing, the more your lecturers have been giving assignments continuously that is was racking your brain. Seungmin gave you company while you worked in the library, your head buried in the books. Unfortunately, your friends had their own hectic schedule due to their different module so they weren't able to come.
"I heard a cafe that just opened up a few days ago." Seungmin offered. "Wanna go with me?"
You smiled at his suggestion before closing your book, part of you desperately wanting a break as you began packing your bag, Seungmin following suit.
The way to the cafe was a brief walk, and thankfully you had enough strength to drag your limp body towards the destination. As the both made your way towards the cafe, you couldn't help but feel a sudden presence behind you. Turning around, you only saw two hooded figure behind, one of them turning their head behind dramatically. You shrugged it off, thinking it was just nothing as you made your way inside, the bell jingled as you opened the tinted glass door.
"You're crazy." You heard an awfully familiar voice behind you, carefully you began to tune in while Seungmin went ahead with your orders. Luckily, the queue being short as not a lot of people have heard of this place before.
"Just shut up!" Jisung harshly whispered, slapping his friend's shoulder.
"When I said I would help, this is not the kind of help I meant." Jisung rolled his eyes at the older.
"Like maybe at this point you need some professional help. Have you considered therapy?" Haechan suggested, which only made the younger glare at the insufferable boy.
"I'm just saying, you seem like you're the obsessed one now." He pointed out.
"I'm not obsessed." Jisung said, rather too quickly, causing the older to raise his brows questioningly. "I'm just making sure that he doesn't do anything to hurt her. I'm only looking out for her." He justified, observing Seungmin, who was talking to the cashier upfront.
"Hm, sounds like the call is coming from inside the house." Haechan snickered at his own joke, causing the younger to hit him at the back of the older's head.
Haechan whining at the impact.
Jisung huffed, watching as Seungmin returned back to his seat, with both cups of coffee in his hand. Jisung's hand clenched in anger, to the point he felt his blood lost circulation from the amount of pressure he applied. Maybe that's why he couldn't think straight, he thought bitterly as he saw the way you smiled around the boy, a deep feeling of jealousy bubbling through his skin.
He didn't like it one bit.
"Dude, can we just go. I'm kinda getting tired of playing stalker." Haechan called out, his voice hint with urgency.
Jisung ignored Haechan's whining as his eyes were boring at the back of your head, his hood covering his features as he began examining your face, the way you wore light makuep today, your rosy cheeks stood out as your bright smile shined through the room. How could he have been so blind?
Eventally, his staring got too intense that even after you were done with your drink, you stood up and began walking towards his direction.
Shit!
He began ducking himself away as Haechan panicked beside him, opting to hide his face under the table, hitting his head in the process as his let out a soft 'ow'.
"Is there a reason you're stalking me now?" Your voice called out, annoyance laced in your tone as you crossed your arms, waiting for a response.
"I don't know what you're talking about, miss." Jisung pretended to deepen his voice, cupping his mouth.
"Maybe you mistook us for someone." Haechan added, a little too high pitched for his own voice.
You scoffed, "Lee and Park. I know it's you guys, you guys suck at keeping a low profile, I've seen you guys behind us for the past 15 minutes."
"Well damn, didn't know we're on a last name basis." Haechan dropped his act, lifting off his hoodie as he slumped against his chair, "I didn't do anything wrong!" He huffed childishly.
"So hello to you too Zhong and Seungmin." He waved sarcastically, earning a chuckle from the brown-haired boy, who waved back at him enthusiastically— finding humour in the situation.
"I'm sorry, Haechan." You rolled your eyes playfully. "But please tell your friend that he needs to respect some space when clearly the person he's stalking is no longer interested in his games." You said, every word dripping with venom as you acted like Jisung was not there.
"That's funny." Haechan chuckled, "That's what I told him too, but you know stubborn as alw— oof!" Haechan was cut off when he was elbowed harshly by the younger, embarassment flodding through his face as he was caught red-handed.
Before the situation could play out any further, the bell jingled outside and in came in Chenle, alongside with Mark and NingNing.
"Oh, dude. I may or may not have invited them here." Haechan announced awkwardly as the trio made their way towards their table.
"And you're only telling me this now?" Jisung asked incredulously, covering his face in embarassment as he could hear footsteps approaching.
"Hi, Jisung." NingNing voice spoke softly as she took a sit next to him.
"Hi." He replied back, monotonously.
"Ugh, what are you doing here?" Chenle asked in disgust, eyeing you up and down. You scowled, "Suprise big bro, we're at a public place and it's possible to see the same people when it's near college campus!" You made a jazzled hands, exaggerating your words.
"I wouldn't be shocked if you didn't know, considering you don't have a lot of friends."
"Says the girl whose only hanging out with one person." Chenle fired back before adverting his gaze onto Seungmin, "No offense."
"None taken." Seungmin waved off.
"We're leaving now, so don't worry." You grabbed Seungmin's hands as you made your way to the exit.
"Well, good riddance for us!" Was the last thing you heard before the door closed.
Jisung sighed in disappointment when you left, his heart clenched from the way you held the other's hand. A part of him felt selfish for thinking he could get another chance with you, especially when he was the one to mess everything up. Throughout the whole gathering, he couldn't bring himself to talk, too deep in thoughts that he didn't take notice on the way NingNing's face dropped when she realises that he wasn't paying attention to her. Chenle, who was observing the whole thing, kicked Jisung from under the table, which made him perked up at the sudden intrusion. He could only utter apologies as NingNing shook her head, waving it off as she put on a fake smile, knowing deep down that his interest in no where near her.
FRIDAY.
For the sake of your overbearing parents, you and Chenle were forced to leave campus early and travel back to your hometown to meet with your grandmother's. Since it was around the weekends, your parents didn't want to take the risk of getting held back by traffic, so they took the liberty of booking the flight for the both of you in advance and you would have no choice but to accept.
This was a common theme for your parents to do, to plan something without announcing until the very last minute. Though, you couldn't blame them, considering that it was difficult for you and Chenle to make time and visit whenever there was a family event and since it was your grandmother's birthday, you would feel guilty to miss that out. A part of you hoping for this unplanned vacation to take your mind off of finals, and more importantly Jisung.
Packing your stuff as you gave your roommate a hug, you decided to meet up with your friends at their dorm so that you could bid your goodbyes, dramatically letting out a sigh before helping you carry your suitcase in the car.
"Is Chenle coming with you?" Yunjin asked, checking the rear-view mirror.
"No, his friends are sending him off." You shook your head, "I'll just meet him there straight away."
Chenle had initially invited you to go with him but knowing that his friends were there, spefically the boy that you wanted to avoid at all cost, it was safe to say that you had declined his offer, opting for the company of your friends instead.
Though, your brother didn't prod further, he was confused as to why you wouldn't want to, considering that if any other circumstances that his friends (Jisung) were to be there, you would be up in your feet to join in uninvited. So the fact that you would say no to his invitation, which he rarely would do as you would constantly be up in his best friend's business and take his attention away, makes this all more confusing to the male. Especially so, since he could see the disappointed look on Jisung's face when he announced that you were heading off with your own friends.
What had happened between the two of you?
"I'm so glad you kids could make it!" Your grandmother's warmth engulfed you in a hug, pulling along your brother.
"We're glad we could make it too."
"You can settle in while I prepare dinner for us, as a family." Your grandmother shed a tear.
"Mom, you promised not to cry." Your mother said, shaking her head.
"I know, I know but give me a break. It's been awhile since I get to see my grandchildren." She scolded, giving both you and Chenle a peck on the cheeks.
"Both of you have grown up so well!"
After the long flight, there's nothing more for you to want than to lie down on your bed, giving a warmful greeting to your grandmother, you made your way towards the bedroom that your grandmother had kindly prepared for the both of you.
"It's still the same as before we left." You commented, taking a glance around the room.
"Yeah, no shit." Chenle scoffed, "I'm suprised she still kept my toys." He picked his collection of car toys and began admiring it.
"That's 'cause you would bitch if anyone comes near it." You retorted.
"I do not!"
"You so do." You said back. "Remember that time when Jisun—"
You cut yourself off, having had your words spill out before your brain could even fully comprehend what you were saying. Shit! Even when he's not here, you caught yourself thinking about him. Fuck me!
"That time when he?" Chenle drawled, wanting you to finish but seeing the way your face dropped, he couldn't help but question something that has been itching his mind. "You're being awfully distant with Jisung."
You frozed, luckily your brother didn't notice as he continued. "I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm glad you're not some crazed idiot around him anymore." He chuckled, "But he's talked about you often."
You perked up, your facial expression seemed to have been to obvious as Chenle spoke up again. "Yeah, I was shocked too. I don't know what happened between you two but, uh, I hope you guys sort that out." He laid down on the bed with a loud yawn.
"What did he say about me?" You blurted out before you could stop yourself. Chenle could only offer a shrug, "He always asked if you're with this Seungmin guy or when you would come to our dorm. I don't know but it's nothing to crazy 'cause I know how you like to overanalyse stuff." He said lightheartedly.
But boy, was he right.
Because what were you even suppose to do with the new-found information. It should've been obvious that Jisung would try make amends. You assumed that it was mostly out of guilt, but you hadn't expected him to risk blowing his cover by asking about you from Chenle, considering he was very determined to keep this little ordeal a secret.
One thing for sure is that you were very confused.
Jisung was confusing you.
Before you could say anything else, your grandmother's voice called you out, annoucing that dinner was ready.
"Finally! I'm starving."
You hadn't expect dinner with your family to be as awkward as it is, but you couldn't but feel that way when your parents are very prying about your love lives. It's not like you could tell them that you used to have a sexual relationship with your brother's best friend without his knowledge and stupidly ended up breaking your heart so you're currently in the process of healing. There's just no way!
So yet there you are, sitting quietly as you let your parents ramble on about your current status.
"What about Seungmin?" Chenle spoke up, his smug smile evident as he saw the way your eyes widened.
"Shut up, idiot!" You hit your brother's shoulder in irritation, "It's not like that!"
"Hey! No fighting in the table." Your mother scolded, and after a brief pause she continued, "So, when do we get to meet this boy?"
"Um, never! He's not my boyfriend." You denied, shaking your head.
Chenle scoffed, "Oh, please. As if you guys don't hang around in campus everyday."
"I swear—"
"So, I'm guessing your crush on Jisung is finally over." This time, your father concluded, a smile on his lips as he enjoyed watching your panicked state.
"Oh, right. That sweet boy." Your mother said, "You guys would look so cute together!"
Chenle faked gagged. "Don't make me throw up, mom!"
"No way! I'm not into Jisung anymore." You scowled, hand slapping against the wooden table. "And neither am I in a relationship. Can we please target Chenle now."
Chuckles filled in the room as your face was red, as if you were suffering from a frostbite.
"Speaking of Jisung, he might stop by here tomorrow." Chenle announced, which earned an excited gasp from your mother.
You dropped your fork, food caught in your throat from shock as you cough relentlessly. Gasping for air as you patted your chest.
"What do you mean 'stop by', like he's gonna book a flight to come here?" You were baffled with this discovery, taking a huge gulp of water that your mother handed out to you.
"Uh, yeah." Chenle deadpanned, "His parents are out doing business in Shanghai so he decided to join us. I hope that's okay with you guys."
"Oh, isn't that wonderful?" Your grandmother agreed, "We have more company to celebrate my birthday."
"But—"
"I haven't seen Jisung in awhile, I can't wait for him to come!"
Just fucking great!
SATURDAY.
You felt like you were going crazy.
It has been approximately 3 hours since Jisung had arrived here, along with Chenle, who had picked him up from the airport. You thought you would be mature enough to face him but aside from your cold greetings, Jisung never seemed to be as talkative to you as he was before and for some unknown reason, you were frustated with that because now, it feels like you were back to square one. It makes it seem as if you were the one waiting for him to notice you. You hated this constant back and forth. A part of secretly thinking that this was Jisung's plan all along, to string you along and make you think he was interested when you ended things but in reality, it was all for shits and giggles in the end. That sudden thought made your heart churned.
Because how could Jisung just sit there and laugh, acting as if he has the right to? You were boiling from anger, hating the fact that he was there, sitting on the couch, playing video games with your brother as if it's some normal occurence. It's not like he cared enough about your grandmother's birthday, hell! He had only seen her a few times when he was younger so why the hell would he come here and spend his weekends with your family when he could just stay back home with his friends, having parties and drinking away? It's not like he couldn't see Chenle afterwards anyways. It was frustating to see him at every corner you turned to.
What was he really doing here?
You watched in exasperation as Jisung's eyes were focused on the screen in front of him. You hate him. You hate how he had the audacity to come here. You hate the fact that he didn't care how much he hurted you. And most importantly, you hated that even after what he did, just him sitting there could make your heart flutter every single time since you were kids.
You really hate him.
But of course, that didn't stop you from hanging out with them. To be fair, your mother was practically forcing you to go out with your brother, saying that you could 'use some fresh air' and that it could be 'the perfect opportunity to help Jisung find gifts for your grandmother', considering he came in empty-handed and felt guilty if he had nothing to give.
So here you are, walking at the back as you tuned out the conversation the both of them were having. Hand in pocket as you kicked rocks that you saw on the pavement, boredom consuming you. It seemed as if Jisung could sense your aura because he turned around mid-convo, a soft smile displayed on his face as he watched your actions. Chenle noticed and began calling out to you, which made you jump from how loud his voice was.
Walking towards an antique shop (that your mother had suggested since your grandma's always into vintage findings), Jisung held the door out for you and you thanked him softly, wanting to appear civil. Inside, you could already see that Chenle was talking to the shop owner, you didn't bother listening and just assumed that he was looking for something specific that Jisung could give.
Walking away as you began to look through the shop, vintage items displayed on the shelves as you try to avoid the other male, pretending as if you looked preoccupied.
"Ah, I see. I think we have that in here, follow me." The shop owner responded as she motioned Chenle to follow her.
"You can go look around." Chenle looked at Jisung, "Find something that you think she'd might like."
"Sure thing."
And that was when Jisung began walking towards your direction, face full of determination. Your back was facing him, which gave him the opportunity to sneak behind you without you running away.
"Hey." You jumped, your hand gripping onto a small vase that you were admiring.
"Can you not." You groaned.
"Liste—"
"No." You interrupted firmly. "Can you please get away from me?"
You moved a couple steps away when he snatched the item you were holding, hand up in the air as he uses his height, putting you at a disadvantage.
"Hey! What the hell?"
"Just listen to me. For once." He begged, the sudden frustation in his eyes evident.
"You don't get to feel angry right now." You fumed, "I made it clear at the party that I want nothing to do with you."
"I know—"
"Then why are you still trying!" You whisper-yelled, not wanting to cause a commotion that it already has. "Why are you— mmph!"
For the first time, that anticipating moment that you have been dreaming of felt like you weren't in reality. No amount of warnings could've prepared you for what was about to come.
He smashed his lips against yours.
It was as if time slowed down. As clichè as it was, you couldn't help but feel the utter shock. A fluttering feeling at the pit of your stomach, the lust clouding your vision as you take in the sudden action, eyes widening as Jisung's grip began making its way towards your neck, stabilising your movements. You should've pushed him away, yell at him, scream at him and maybe throw a punch at his handsome face but your stupid heart reacted faster than any logical scenario that should've happened.
You kissed him back.
With the same amount of desperation and passion that he put into that kiss. You felt like you were losing your mind from the way that you could feel his lips moving softly against yours, teeth nibbling at your bottom lip that you couldn't help but open, his tongue softly massaged the wet muscle of yours and you couldn't help but feel like you were in cloud nine. He was being very slow with his movements, as if not wanting to scare you away. Your hand held onto his neck as you deepened the kiss, desperately wanting to feel more.
What. The. Fuck!
Your mind was screaming, cursing at you for your stupidity but your heart simply shut down, wanting to savour the moment as much as you could.
Just then, before it could progress any further, Jisung had stupidly let go of the vase that he was holding, completely forgetting that he had it. The sound of the vase smashing made both of you reeled back into reality as Jisung jumped from the sudden commotion. But it was the least of your worries as you began to feel a slight sting on your ankle.
A bad day to wear a short pants.
"Ow!" You yelped, looking down at your legs to see a line of gushing blood, the shattered glass was pouring around the both of you.
"Oh shit, are you okay!?" Jisung asked frantically, hand holding your legs as he inspected the wound.
"What's happening there?" Chenle called out, walking towards the scene.
Looking down at the wound on your legs, he could see it was becoming worse, seeing the way you were holding onto Jisung's shoulder for support.
"Shit!" He cursed. "I think she got cut by the glass!"
"Is everything okay here?" The shop owner exclaimed.
"No, ma'am. My sister accidentally dropped the vase." Chenle explained, which caused the lady sighed in annoyance, "That was one of the most expensive item here!"
"I'm sorry," You uttered profusely, "I'll pa—"
"I'll pay for it!" Jisung interfered, "It was my fault anyways."
"Dude, are you sure?"
"Yeah, it's fine." He turned back, facing the lady. "So, where can I pay?"
And that's when the three of you ended up going to the nearest convenience store to treat your wound. After a few arguements here and there, you had resorted into refusing to return back home, not wanting to hear an earful from your nagging mother.
"Let's go to the convenience store, we're quite far from grandma's house anyways." Your brother pointed out.
"It hurts," You limped, face scrunching into pain.
"I'll carry you." Jisung offered.
"What?" Both you and Chenle said in astonishment.
"It's not a big deal," The taller male shrugged off, hands inside his pocket as he looked around, "The walk isn't that far."
"It's fine—"
"I insist." He said firmly.
"Well, I'm telling you that it's not necessary." You said pointedly.
"I beg to differ."
"I can do it!"
"No, you can't."
"Yes—"
"Oh, just let him carry you already." Chenle butted in, "At this rate, your wound would already be healed from you guys bantering."
"We were not bantering." Jisung retorted.
"Whatever." Chenle waved off, walking off first.
You felt nervous all of the sudden. Sure, the both of you have done way more sexual stuff than this and it shouldn't bother you in any way.
But it is.
Because it's different when your feelings are on the line. That kiss was something you've never felt before. You were beginning to feel that your emotions were going haywire. You thought you had it under control but it was obvious that Jisung still had you wrapped around his fingers.
You didn't know whether you hated it or not.
Lifting yourself off the ground, your legs securely wrapped on his waist as his hand gently held you up, his fingers brushing against your inner thighs and you were using every once of self-control to not squirm around his touch.
The walk was suprisingly peaceful, well, as peaceful as it can be because even though you were under Jisung's arms, you tend to forget the watchful eyes of your brother, scrutinising every single movement from the both of you. You could tell he was beginning to suspect something and that made you worry a little for Jisung but you remained calm, not wanting to make the situation more awkward that it already has. Even when Chenle had offered to be the one to patch you up, Jisung refused and did it instead, practically shoving the other to get to you.
Applying the ointment on your leg, you hissed at the pain and Jisung paused his action, concern in his eyes as he kept checking up on you. Chenle could only watch the interaction in silence, confused with the sudden closeness the both of you had.
"We should get grandma a cake on the way." He interrupted the moment, seeing the way the both of you snapped back out of trance.
The whole celebration afterwards went well and it seemed as if Chenle had forgotten the whole event afterwards, considering he never questioned you about what happened, which you were thankful for. After the birthday, you would've have suspect that things would go back to normal, though, you underestimate how much the world seemed to hate you...
"Jisung, you can sleep at the room instead." Your mother said.
"Uh, and where am I suppose to sleep?" You interjected, knowing damn well you would rather die than to sleep (not sexually) with your brother and his best friend.
"Oh, don't be silly." Your mother laughed, "We have plenty of cushions in the couch."
"Are you seriously gonna make me sleep here." You asked incredulously.
"On second thought." Chenle interrupted, "I think we both can sleep here and she can have the room all to herself."
"But—"
"I agree too, Mrs Zhong. Don't get me wrong, I appreciate the hospitality but I don't mind sleeping outside."
You sighed in relief.
"Well, make yourself as comfortable as you can." Your mother turned away to face both you and Chenle, "Please be at your best behaviour, this has been the most happiest I've seen your grandma's been so please don't ruin it for her and unfortunately, I won't be able to get a good cell service at the hotel so please be careful and don't get into trouble while your father and I are away."
"Got it, mom." The both of you mumbled in unison at your mother's rambling.
And for the first few hours you were left alone in the room while you could hear the sounds of the roaring laughter from Chenle. The noise had quiten down for what felt like hours and you could've assumed that the both of them went to sleep after that, drifting yourself to sleep as well when you hear a sudden knock on the door.
"Come in."
Jisung's head peeked in, "Hi."
"Let's talk." You could tell that he had been waiting for Chenle to be sound asleep before making his way here, considering that he was very fidgety than normal.
"It's not like I have much of a choice." You sighed, knowing that deep down, you were already mentally prepared for the conversation.
He ignored your snarky comment, "I kissed you."
"Well, that's one way to start." You chuckled, "But go on."
"Look, I know you hate my guts right now and I should've left you alone when you told me to." He let out a shaky breath, "But I couldn't, when you started hanging out with that guy, I started to realise how much I like you. I know I'm selfish but I didn't know what to do when I realised it, I thought if I acted more possessive it would've made my feelings clear but instead I pushed you away."
You listened intensely, fingers gripping the sheet as you chewed your bottom lip. A million thoughts ran through your mind.
"It's a shitty excuse, I'll admit but I just want you to know that I regret treating you like you don't matter because you do, very much." He finished off, watching the way you were silent throughout. "I understand if you don't want me around so I'll stop trying." He retreated back.
Okay, this is it. You wanted to this all along, right?
Why do you feel the sudden urge to stop him... fuck it!
"Aren't you going to listen what I have to say?"
He paused, hand lingering on the door knob as he turned around, watching as you slowly remove yourself from bed. You were currently wearing a loose shirt and a low pants. Jisung gulped nervously as you began to get closer to him.
"Do you really mean that?" You asked, voice cracking slightly.
Jisung's brows rose as he let out a soft scoff, "Every word."
"And you're not doing this because you feel bad." You tilted your head in suspicion, eyes squinting as you try to detect a lie. "Well, that's part of it."
"But it's mostly because I don't want to lose you. I really care about you."
That seemed to be the answer that you were looking for because after those words left his lips, you reached up on your tippy toes and smashed your lips against his. His eyes widened slightly and for a moment, his lips didn't seem to react and he stood still in shock. You were beginning to regret doing that as he was being unresponsive, wanting nothing more than to cower away in embarassment but just as you pulled away from him slightly, he began to chase after you. His hands had gotten hold at the back of your neck, pulling you into a deep kiss as his other one made its way to your waist.
This time, he nibbled your bottom lip and didn't hesitate to shove his tongue deep into your mouth. You moaned at the contact as you gripped onto his shirt, your legs were struggling to meet the ground due to his height. Fortunately, he took noticed and tapped on your thighs, signalling you to jump and you did. Wrapping your legs tightly around his waist as his hands securely groped your ass to maintain the balance, he began walking towards the bed all while giving kisses from your chin down to your neck, licking and sucking it.
Laying you down under the soft duvet covers, he began trailing down his kisses to your collarbone. Just as he was about to remove your article of clothing, he looked up to meet your eyes, silently asking you if you were okay with continuing.
"Yes." You breathed out, whimpering when he roamed his hands around your breast, his warms fingers rubbed against your hardened nipples which cause you to moan loudly.
You covered your mouth almost immediately. Jisung took your hands away and replaced with his mouth instead, swallowing your noises as his hands played with your breast.
"You gotta be quiet, princess." He whispered, his lips hovered against yours, you were lying if you said that nickname didn't make you feel something inside, "Or else you're gonna wake someone up. Wouldn't want that happening would you?"
You shook your head, your hand holding onto his shirt as you begged him, "Please, I'll be quiet. Just do something."
He laughed at your neediness and began removing your shorts, along with your panties. What he saw didn't disappoint him as he could see your glistening cunt out in the open, his mouth watering to get a savouring taste. Without warning, he gave kitty licks at your pussy, and you shuddered under his touch, legs wrapped around his face, almost suffocating him. But the male above you didn't seem to mind as he only pushed his face further into you, his long slender finger pried open your hole to shove his tongue deeper.
"A-Ah, Jisung." You quietly moaned, "I'm gonna cum."
That seemed to encourage the male to go faster, lifting your hips up as he began eating you out like a starved man.
Feeling the familiar orgasm, you shut your eyes as you covered your mouth, preventing the erotic sounds from escaping. You felt a sudden fuzziness over the immense feeling that you didn't notice that Jisung had taken off his clothes as well.
"You did so well, princess." He praised, hand gently caressing your fuck-out face. "Think you can handle more?"
You nodded eagerly, whining when he pulled away slightly.
"I need words, baby." He said, "Tell me you want this."
"Please, Jisung. I want this." You whined, "I want you."
He pressed his lips against you once more, your hand immediately went to wrap around his neck to pull him closer. Getting indulged in the messy kiss, you were yelped in shock when he began to rub his cock onto yours.
Jisung stopped when he noticed your state, but you only whined further, your hips bucking against his boner, begging him to fill you up, which only made the male continue his previous actions.
"Wait, Jisung." You said, which cause him to look up at you. "Can you please hold my hand?"
His heart softened at your request. Despite the abnormal amount of sex the both of you had, this was one that was undeniably the most intimate that the both of you went. You were always used to rough and angry sex with Jisung but this time, it was full of love and passion. It felt like the both of you were pouring your heart out into this. And for that, you were nervous because you were now able to express yourself in a way that you've always wanted to with Jisung.
And for the first time, he reciprocated those feelings.
So as he held tightly onto your small hands, interlocking them. He began to pick up his pace, thrusting more faster each second as he stared lovingly into your eyes. Feeling a sudden wave of insecurity wash through you by the intense gaze, you looked away in embarassment. But that only seemed to disappoint the male as he let go one of his hold on your hand and gently tilted your face to meet his. Offering a warm smile, he kissed you once more, washing away all your worries as the both of you engage in the sloppy kisses. His tongue coaxed against yours as his thrust began to pick up its pace, bringing the both of you to your orgasms.
Letting out muffled moans, the both of felt the feeling of euphoria when you came undone. Your lips lazily moved against his and he pulled away. You whined at the sudden contact and Jisung couldn't help but laugh at your cuteness.
Walking away towards the bathroom that was thankfully connected to the bedroom as he announced that he needed to clean you up.
You laid back down comfortably, you felt like your heart was bursting as you let the scene repeat itself on your mind, giddiness consumed you as you covered yourself under the blanket.
Soon, Jisung came in with a cloth in hand. Gently, the male urged you to open your legs as he began cleaning you up. The cold breeze of the cloth made you shiver. Once he was done, he helped you with your clothes, slowly positioning you so that you would be able to wear your clothes.
With that, he made his way to his clothes that he threw across the room and began putting them on before making his way towards the bed, cuddling by your side as the both of you faced each other. His face buried at the crook of your neck.
"We need to keep this a secret." He pulled away slightly, after a moment of comfortable silence.
"What? Why?" You felt your heart breaking, feeling the moment being completely ruined.
He sighed, "He still thinks I'm having a fling with NingNing."
"Well, are you?"
"Of course not!" He asked incredulously, "How could you think that?"
"Well, what's the problem then?" You couldn't help but get annoyed at where the topic was heading.
"Chenle will kill me." There it was.
"Chenle doesn't control what we do." You said disappointedly. "Are you embarassed of me?"
"No! No, of course not." Jisung caressed your face, making you face him. The look he had in his eyes made you soften your gaze, the anger you felt slowly dissipitating when you heard the sincerity in his words. "Look, I'll deal with this as soon as I can, just in the meantime, can we pretend as if we're not together."
You looked away, but he kept his grip on your chin, forcing to face him as he pleaded. "Please, I swear I'll try to work this out."
"Okay." You sighed, and that was when he leaned down to give you a passionate kiss.
"Thank you."
"But how do you know he won't like it though?" You pulled away.
"So, I'm guessing whatever rift you have with my sister is over?" Chenle spoke up, his gaze focused on the screen as he continued to play the game.
"What?"
"You heard me," Chenle laughed, "Whatever you guys have must be pretty intense but I guess I'm glad you made up."
(More like make out.)
"Just a question, do you like her?" Chenle asked, his tone suddenly turning serious.
This was it. This will be the moment he gets to tell him the whole truth. He was about to answer when Chenle spoke up again.
"Because if you, I'll literally beat your fucking ass." Chenle laughed, smacking Jisung at the back of the head.
Or not.
Jisung let out a nervous chuckle, "Of course not, idiot."
"Good. Good." Chenle hummed, "So, maybe you should set boundaries with her, wouldn't want to give her the wrong idea."
"I just know." Jisung said firmly.
SUNDAY.
The morning light shine through the curtains, awakening you as you toss to your side, stretching your arms. You can't help but feel a twinge of disappointment when you couldn't feel anything beside you, realising that Jisung was not by your side and that he had left. You let his words replay at the back of your mind.
We need to keep this a secret.
You just hoped that it wouldn't backfire on you as you let out a loud sigh, walking towards the bathroom to freshen up.
As you made your way to the kitchen, you were already greeted by breakfast that your grandmother had cooked, Chenle and Jisung were already feasting as if it was their last meal.
"You guys couldn't even wait for me." You grumbled, taking a seat across Jisung.
You smiled softly at the boy, a blush appearing on your cheek as you tried to remain calm.
"It's not our fault you slept like a pig."
Chenle rolled his eyes.
"At least I don't eat like one."
He only stuck his tongue out in mockery, which you returned back with the same gesture, causing the male beside him to chuckle at your childish bickering.
Your grandmother, took a seat beside you as she gave both of you a light scolding about behaving.
Minutes passed with light chattering across the dining and while in admist of eating, a devious plan came to your mind. Slowly lifting your feet, you let it wander around Jisung's legs, rubbing it up and down while you ate your meal, acting as if you weren't doing anything. Jisung tensed at the action, stopping his words as he let out a huge gulp, discreetly glancing at you. You, however, didn't pay no mind to the male as you continued munching on your food innocently.
It went on for a few minutes before you decided to test the waters some more, opting to trail your feet nearer to his crotch, which made him choke on his food.
"Yo, Ji. You, okay there?" Your brother called out, patting the other's back.
"Yeah, yeah. I'm fine."
"Is the food not to your liking?" Your grandmother asked, concern laced in her voice.
"No!" He interjected, "No, of course not! I love your cooking." He let out a nervous chuckle before turning to face you, glaring into your eyes as if he was warning you. Deciding to push his buttons, you pressed your feet against his crotch and began rubbing it in a circular motion, which causes the male to let out a quiet groan. Hand to his head as his forehead started to sweat. This only encourages you to apply more pressure, feeling his clothed area, which has now hardened.
"Dude, are you seriously okay?" Chenle asked, to which the male have no choice but to lie to save himself, "Yeah, I think I'm having a bit of a headache actually." He groaned, lifting his hips up to meet your feet, pretending as if he was readjusting his position.
"Do you need some medicine?" Your grandmother stood up, "I have some in the cabinet."
You watched as Jisung nodded, his body hunched over as if he was trying to control himself. His orgasm nearing as he felt like he eas losing his sanity. You smirked before deciding that he has had enough, drawing back your feet.
Jisung was glad that it took everything for him to not make a noise at the lost of contact, practically leaving him with blue balls all while trying to cover up the fact that his best friend's sister had just rubbed him off under the dining table.
He watched in anger as you excused yourself from the table, walking towards the kitchen as you briefly announced that you were going to head to the bathroom, he saw the way your eyes twinge with mischief, a smug smile placed on your lips as you walked past him. He was forced to stay behind longer to avoid suspicion, downing the pill that your grandma had so graciously handed as he pretended that he was getting better.
Score!
A minute or so in the bathroom, you heard a knock outside, you smile in victory as you knew who it was going to be. Just as you creaked open the door, it was pushed harshly as Jisung shoved his way inside, locking it on the way in. Not giving you the time to react as he smashed his lips against yours hungrily.
"You think that way funny, huh?" He huffed, pulling away from the kiss. "Do you know how much I could get in trouble?"
You shrugged innocently.
"Why don't you punish me then?"
"Just you wait." He said, trailing his kisses down your collarbone, teeth grazing your flesh as you hummed in satistaction.
Just as you were about to rip off his shirt, he grabbed your hands as he turned you around. Your back against his chest as your front was pressed up against the door. His hands coming up to hold your throat, forcing you to face him.
"Jisung, please hurr— ah!" You moaned when the male began spanking your backside, his hand groped against it harshly.
"You're in no position to demand." He sneered, moving his hands to the front of your shorts as he pulled them down hastily, making a move to roll up your shirt.
"No bra?" He tsked, which caused you to whimper when he began pinching your nipples. "That's good, makes it easier instead of ripping them off."
Without warning, he began shoving his two long index fingers down your wet cunt, you squirmed under his touch but his other hand went to hold your mouth, blocking the noises from escaping. He lowered his face to your breast, swirling his tongue around your nipples as he looked up to see your fucked-out face, observing the drool that dripped down your chin, that was also making his fingers wet. He loved seeing you get ruined so he quickened the pace, fastening his fingers as his mouth works wonders on your tits.
"I'm gonna come!" You whimpered, "Please, let me cum!"
Thankfully, your pleads were enough for him as he let you finish out your orgasm, watching the way your body spasmed under his touch.
Without giving you a chance to breathe, he turned you back around and held your shoulders, pulling you down to your knees. Understanding his signals, you began unzipping his pants and pulling out his hardened cock. He grabbed a fistful of your hair and forced you into his cock, watching the way your mouth sucks in his length with such ease. He groaned, which made you bobbed your head faster, tongue swirling around his dick.
"Y-Yeah! Just like that." He threw his head back, hand controlling your movements, "Don't stop! Ah!"
Unfortunately, odds were not in Jisung's favour today because just as he was about to release, he heard knocking on the other side of the door. Panic sets in as he wanted to pull you away, but you had stubbornly wrapped your hands around his hips, your mouth taking his whole.
"Y-Yes?"
"Yo, dude!" Chenle called out, "Are you in there? 'Cause you need to hurry up and pack your stuff. Our flight is in the next 2 hours!"
"Ah! Gotcha—oh!" He groaned.
"Are you taking a shit in there?" Chenle asked incredulously.
"Y-eah," Jisung didn't miss a beat. "My stomach's sensitive today— fuck!" That seemed to be enough of an answer because your brother didn't pry further, instead saying, "Alright. If you see my sister anywhere, relay that message I said earlier. I can't find her in the room."
"Mhm, w-will do!" He heard footsteps walking away, which nade him lean his head back against the wooden door.
And that is when he felt himself release his load in your mouth, you swallowing his cum with lust in your eyes. Lifting you up, the both of you shared one last kiss before rushing to clean off, hoping that Chenle wouldn't notice anything.
MONDAY.
"I told Hyunjin to stop bringing girl to the dorm because he always gets too loud in bed." Seungmin complained, "It's so awkward the next morning too!"
"Uhuh."
He eyed you, watching as you were distracted with something on your mind, "And then, the girl ask for a threesome so I did it with both of them, outside the balcony." He lied, watching as you didn't perk up at his bizzare story.
"Cool." You said off-handedly.
"So, I'm assuming that it went not so well." Seungmin observed, watching as you zooned out on him, which causes the male to snap his hands in front of you.
"What?"
"Nevermind." He scoffed playfully, "Seems like you have a lot on your plate.
"You have no idea." You laughed nervously. "I'm sorry."
"It's alright." He laughed, "I don't blame you. We're barely given any breaks, it's driving me crazy too." You nodded, humming to his words as the both of you walked around campus.
"If you want, we can hang out by th—"
Before the male could finish his sentence, he was cut off by another person making their way towards the both of you. Jisung's arms wrapped around you tightly as he basically pulled you away from the other.
"Hi." Jisung greeted the both of you, though he was only keeping his gaze on you and completely ignoring the other.
"Hey."
After the trip, you had become well-aware of Jisung's hatred towards Seungmin, which was purely out of jealousy. So it came to no suprise that the said boy would suddenly appear between the two of you in the middle of the hallway, squeezing his way to maintain the space and slightly shoving the brown-haired boy. Despite his rudeness, Seungmin was never one to retaliate or confront the other as he was mainly looking at your reaction, to see if you were okay with what's happening and upon seeing your lack of discomfort, Seungmin could only assume that you were back together with Jisung and as much as he tried to remain optimistic for you, he lacked trust for the taller male.
So as he watched Jisung dragged you away while you uttered your goodbye to him, he can't help but dislike the fact that you were willing to go back to Jisung, considering all the things he had done. He didn't want to verbalise his concern as he knew it would upset you so he sighed in defeat, walking towards his lecture.
On the other hand, a string of complaints escaped from your mouth as Jisung's hand were tightly held onto your wrist, dragging you towards a random supply closet. However, your words were cut short when he smashed his lips onto yours, silencing you all while letting his wandering hands trail down below your private area, his lips moving along your jawline. You smiled, secretly liking his jealously.
"Might want to make it quick." You mumbled against his lips, "Or else Chenle might look for you." Your eyes landed on his ringing phone, his best friend calling him in the middle of his situation. The male didn't hesitate to press the decline button before tossing it to the other side of the room, mumbling, "Let's not worry about that."
And that was a week spent fooling around. You would have assumed that you kept it on a low profile but you were proven dead wrong when you were caught smiling to yourself on your phone while your friends shared knowing glances among themselves.
"You seem so giddy recently." Chaeryeong pointed out. "Are you seeing someone?"
Sitting there, you were stunned with the question, snapping out of trance as you cleared your throat, shifting in your seat awkwardly.
"No."
"Oh, she totally is!" Yunjin teased, "Who's the lucky guy?" You denied further, "No one." Which only causes the both of them to only pry oncr more, whining exaggeratedly to get the answer out of you. "Please, we really want to know!"
You laughed at their childish nature and for a moment, there was a brief hesitation as you contemplated whether you should air out your situation to them about Jisung. You knew the both of them disliked the male for what he did, but maybe after a logical explanation, they might undertand.
So that is what you did, you began to explain in details of what went down during the trip to your grandma's house and you watched as their smiles contorted into frowns, you ignored it thinking that the both of them were just being attentive as you continued on with your story.
"What?" Both of them said in unison, incredulously.
"It's serious, this time." You repeated.
"Yeah, we heard that the first time." Chaeryeong scoffed, "But this is Jisung we're talking about."
You sighed, knowing that the two of them still hated his guts no matter what and were now reprimanding you for your actions, you slumped against the seat, the mood of the atmosphere completely being lifted down.
"Are we talking about the same person here?"
"Look, it looks messy but I promise he's changed." You justified, once again.
"So, you guys are in a public relationship." Chaeryeong rebutted.
"Well, not exact—"
"I knew it!" Yunjin lifted up her hands in irritation. "Girl, he's just using you again and you fell for it!"
"That's not true!"
"How blind could you be?" Chaeryeong scolded.
You scoffed.
"Okay, you guys can stop attacking for me now. I really don't need it."
"Right, 'cause it seems like you need to be fucked over by someone multiple times for you to get it." Chaeryeong retaliated.
"Chae—" Yunjin intervened but was shut down by you, "No, let her finish. I want to hear what she has to say next."
"You let Jisung fuck you over because you have no self-respect for yourself!"
Silence filled the table for a moment as none of them were making an attempt to say anything else.
"You know what? Fuck you guys!" You stormed off, grabbing your belongings as you leave the place in anger.
To be concerned is one thing, but to go out of their way to imply that you were easy is a little harsh. Though, you could tell that it was in the heat of the moment considering that Chaeryeong's eyes widened for a second, completely baffled with what she had just said too. She knew she went too far but she couldn't bring herself to apologise, not when you were out here making stupid decisions and being reckless with your behaviour. She hoped that she hadn't pushed you away with her words.
But it seems like it has.
Because pushing the weeks in, you had not said a single thing to any of them, completely ignoring them as you opted to hang out with Seungmin and his friends instead. To say that Yunjin and Chaeryeong were upset was an understatement, the both of them were hurt that you would dropped them for a boy who had caused you emotional damage. Though, Yunjin understood your side and had asked Chaeryeong to apologise and make amends. But the other refused as she was being hard-headed.
The friendship between the three of you started to crack and as much as it pained you, you couldn't possibly bring yourself to face them as you were left upset with their harsh words. To be fair, Yunjin didn't contribute much, but you were still upset at both iof them nonetheless. Even Jisung had started to notice your sour demeanour, from the way you would seem down and distracted while he tried his best to lift up your mood, making sweet gestures and playing the role of a caring boyfriend. Of course, in secrecy when no one is around.
As much as you appreciated it, you can't help but get annoyed when he would blow you off for his friends, or rather, your brother. It seems as though he hasn't made an attempt to tell Chenle about your relationship despite being constantly reminded to, you would have to convince him that Chenle would be okay with it, but the male only shook his head and tells you that he would try to deal with it as soon as he can, in his own way. That had been the usual pattern and you were getting kinda worried that your friends might've been right all along. Though, you had to give him the benefit of the doubt, considering that he had told one of his friends about you, which was Haechan, who honestly didn't look too suprise with the news but ultimately helped the younger keep your relationship a secret.
"Ugh, dude seriously?" Haechan groaned, having had just opened the door, witnessing you straddling Jisung while the both of you make out. "We seat on that couch!"
He watched in amusement as the both of you broke away quickly. You were topless, panickingly trying to find your clothes while Jisung's face was smudged with lipstick, fixing his zipper in a hurry. "Can't you knock!" Jisung looked annoyed.
The older scoffed, leaning against the door frame, "As a matter of fact, I can't. You're lucky I was the one walking in on you guys."
"Still!" You retaliated, fixing yourself up.
"Whatever," He rolled his eyes, "Mark and Chenle are on their way here, I had to sprint to get here first so you better thank my ass that I did!"
True to his words because not even a second later, your brother and his other roommate emerged inside the dorm, shocked displayed on their faces when they have discovered you were inside as well.
"Sis? What are you doing here?" Chenle asked incredulously.
"I need to take notes from Jisung." You made up an excuse, getting ready to pack your stuff. "Don't you have your other friends for that?" Your brother rebutted.
"Chill, dude." Haechan patted the younger's back. "If I hadn't known better, you seem like you got a crush on Jisung." He joked, which causes Chenle to hit the older by the shoulder, smacking him relentlessly while his roommates laughed.
"Alright, that's enough." Mark jokingly intervened, "We have to set up this place as soon as we can."
That seemed to caught your attention.
"Why? What are you guys doing?"
"None of your business, nosy." Chenle retorted.
"We're having a party." Mark answered instead, "The boys made a draw and it's our turn to host the party."
"Oh." You looked towards Jisung, confused as to why he didn't tell you. "Yeah, so if you don't mind, can you leave and come back again once we're done." Chenle said, making his way to his room, Mark and Haechan following behind.
"Why didn't you tell me?" You asked, now that it was just you two. He shrugged, "It's not a big deal. It's just some stupid party."
"Okay then." You said monotonously, walking away.
But Jisung seemed to pick up on your mood, following you close behind.
"No, wait, baby." He grabbed your wrist, turning you around, "Why are you upset?"
"I'm upset because you always keep secrets from me and we were supposed to hang out tonight. Were you just gonna bail me last minute?" You asked in annoyance but the male shook his head, "No, of course not. I wasn't even planning to stay. I'm just helping them set up."
You laughed, "As if Chenle would let you bail."
"I'll try to sneak out."
You hesitated.
"Do you trust me?" He asked.
"Of course."
You should've known not to be easily led on, especially when Jisung hadn't picked up his calls despite it being hours ago. You shrugged it off, thinking he was still busy but you soon came to find Haechan's instagram story, a picture where all of them were partying in their dorm, including Jisung.
You were boiling from anger, "Seungmin, can you do me a favour?"
Thankfully, the drive wasn't far, and Seungmin had been kind enough to give you a ride as you made your way to the party. For some reason, a part of you had a feeling this wouldn't end well but you decided to push it aside as you walked towards the front door. You were immediately greeted by a stench of alcohol, drunk people swaying around as you hear cheering from a distance. Walking towards the noise in search for your boyfriend as Seungmin trailed behind you, gulping nervously at your hot-headed demeanour.
There stood, Jisung, a hand holding a ping pong ball while he stuck his tongue out in concentration, eyes squinting to get a good aim for the red solo cup. For a moment, it seemed harmless and you would've felt a bit embarassed for overreacting but when the cheering became louder as Jisung scored a point, you couldn't help but stay rooted on your spot, eyes focused on Jisung as his friends cheered him on with a pat to his back.
Just then, NingNing came into view and pulled the male by the neck to plant a kiss to his lips, wolf whistles followed after and you could've swore that you heard your heart shattered in the process. You watched as tears rolled down your eyes, betrayal in the pit of your stomach as Jisung looked stunned, not making an attempt to pull away.
Conveniently, right as he did, his eyes landed onto yours and you saw how his eyes widened in shock, mouth hung open as if he was trying to come up with an excuse.
You scoffed and began walking away, ignoring the calls of your name as Jisung squeezed his way between the crowds of drunkard people.
"Wait!" Jisung grabbed your arm, stopping you just as had gotten outside. "I can explain—"
You ripped his hand away in disgust, "No need. You made things perfectly clear back there."
He called your name again in desperation.
"Please, just hear me out."
"No!" You shouted, "I'm sick of being treated like an idiot."
"I'll admit, you fooled me once. It was on you." You laughed bitterly, "But you did it again and again, so now, I can't even blame you. Because I am such a fucking idiot to believe you would have changed."
"I have!"
"No, you haven't!" You retorted, "You don't care about me because all you ever do is come to me whenever you need to fill out your desires, you are fucking selfish!"
"Please." He whispered, urgency laced in his tone.
"I should've never trusted you and I'm dead serious when I say I want you to leave me the fuck alone now."
He took a step forward, hand holding your wrist desperately, "No, I can fix—"
"I don't want anything to do with you, Jisung!" You pulled away.
"Please. Please, I'm really sorry!" He grabbed you again, pleads and begs as strings of apologies escaped his mouth.
"I don't care!"
"It was a mistake. I have no feel—"
"She told you to back off!" Ultimately, it was Seungmin who had cutted him off, shoving the other to the ground.
Jisung stood up in anger, red in the face. "Why don't you mind your goddamn business!"
"She made it pretty clear she wants nothing to do with you, man! Respect that!" He spits, which only frustates Jisung, scoffing lightly as he provoked, "You know she doesn't fucking like you, right? You've been stuck in the friendzone for like what? 3 months? Wished it was you who gets to fuck her instead, huh?"
"Guys, let's not—" You intervened, but it was too late because Seungmin threw the first punch. Blood dripping on Jisung's nose as you gasped in horror, the male didn't seem too affected with the attack as he tackled Seungmin to the ground, beating him up relentlessly. You stood in shock as you begged them to stop, tears streaming down your cheeks as Seungmin began kicking Jisung's ribs. The whole scene became a mess.
Eventually, the commotion caught the attention of the other people from the party because soon, Chenle and Haechan began pulling both men away from each other, struggling to hold then down.
"Hey! What the fuck is happening?" Chenle looked at you, "What did you do?"
"You should probably ask your friend." Seungmin answered. "He was the one who fucked over your sister!"
Multiple gasps were heard, others watching as the scene unfolds.
Chenle face contorted to confusion as he turned to face the taller male, "What is he talking about Ji?" But the male didn't respond, his head hung low in shame as Seungmin chuckled humourlessly, "Your friend has been fucking your sister behind your back for months, using her and all that shit but I'm sure Ji over there will explain it to you better."
"Is it true?" Chenle asked in anger, taking a step towards Jisung, which causes Haechan to stop him, "Let's not start anything more, alright?"
"Why?" Chenle prodded, "Do you know about it?" This causes the older to become silent, only confirming what was his answer.
Thankfully, Mark came in and kicked everyone out, making them disperse away from the scene and soon, all of the three boys were left in their messy dorm, having had Seungmin dragged your sobbing mess away, making Jisung the one to explain what he had done.
"This is fucked." Chenle laughed in astonishment. "I mean, not only did you went behind my back but you hurt my sister in the process of doing so."
Jisung could only hung his head in shame.
"I didn't mean to." He meekly uttered.
"But you did!" Chenle yelled, "I've always wondered why she was so obsessed with you but the whole time you were fucking with her mind and making her think she had a chance with you!"
"I didn't fuck with her mind, I love her, okay?" Jisung blurted. "I thought I would do the right thing if— if I just, i don't know! I knew you wouldn't approve of us anyways!"
"Don't fucking twist this shit on me!" Chenle snarled, "Even if you knew I wouldn't approve, why the fuck did you still do it? What was the thought process there? How fucking stupid are you to think you would get away with all this!"
"Dude, let's all calm down, alright." Mark decided to step in, which only causes the younger to get upset.
"No! Don't tell me to calm down." He yelled, causing Mark to take a step back. "He used two people for his own selfishness! Including my sister."
"Don't even get me started on NingNing, you know, the girl you told us you were in love with." He pushed on.
"I wasn't fucking in love with her!" Jisung retaliated, "I only said that so you could get off my fucking back about hooking up with other girls!"
A shocked gasp was heard, just then NingNing made her presence known as a tear drop began to fall down her cheeks, cupping her mouth as she ran away out of their dorm.
"NingNing!"
"Look what you did!" Chenle scolded, running after the poor girl.
But Jisung couldn't say anything, his mouth went dry and his heart went numb. Too many emotions running through his head, it started to hurt. Mark and Haechan took noticed of the younger's condition and decided that he needed some time to think for himself and soon the both of them left the dorm, leaving Jisung all alone.
In all the times he had fucked up, this was really the one he had fucked up the most.
Walking around campus, it was the first time Jisung had gotten stares from people. The huge bruise on his face didn't help the fact that most of the people on campus already knew what went down. At this point, he couldn't bring himself to care as he continued to let his head down while walking through the crowd.
However, just as he past by the entrace, he was greeted by certain girl. His heart dropped in anxiousness as he gulped upon seeing the girl he was scared to face, cowardly as he was, he knew that he should own up to his mistakes and take accountablity.
It's now or never.
"Hi." He said, clearing his throat. "I'm sor—"
"Save it." The girl replied sharply.
Jisung couldn't bring himself to look into her eyes, shame and guilt filling him up as he lowered his head. "Let's talk." NingNing checked her wristwatch, "We still have time to spare before our lecture starts."
"O-Of course, if it's what you like." The girl scoffed at his timidness, "Oh please, this is painful for me as much as it is for you but I think I deserve some explanation, don't you?"
"Yeah."
"Great, I know a private place to talk because the campus seems so nosy than ever." She joked ligheartedly, eyes darting around the hall. Truth be told because when Jisung turned his head, he saw other students quickly glancing away as he did so, ‟Follow me.”
It has been days and you were still bombarded with texts and calls, all coming from the same person. The same person that you couldn't bring yourself to remove from. It was frustating how pathetic you would be for a boy. A boy that fooled you twice. At this rate, you were only asking for more heartbreak as your only solution is to ignore those calls and messages instead of blocking it completely. Your heart wouldn‛t be able to handle such an emotional turmoil.
You hadn't been able to attend your lectures, skipping them in order to avoid Jisung. You could hear your roommate telling him to go away whenever he would knock on the door, begging to see you. Overtime, Yunjin and Chaeryeong took empathy at your state and offered you solace as the both of them apologised for their harsh words previously. With their help, you were able to slowly get back to your feet and continue to move forward. Though, it was slightly challenging whenever the male would still attempt to talk to you through texts and calls, all of which you ignored.
But maybe that was what you needed. You thought.
As your hand lingers around the ‘block’ button, you began to feel the slight hesitation. Though, a part of you was aching for it, practically begging you to end the trainwreck once and for all.
And this time, you weren‛t going to look back.
FOUR YEARS LATER.
Heels clicking against the marble floor, you were in frantic as you rushed around the wedding halls to make your way to back of the room. Droplets of sweat on your forehead as you sighed in relief, thankful to have arrived early to help the bride.
‟Well, guess who showed up on time.” The bride teased.
Looking at the bride, her hair was beautifully done up into an elegant low bun as her dress was beautifully tailored, shining her features with the expensive jewellery displayed. The bridesmaids gushed upon her ethereal appearance and you gave yourself a pat on the back for helping out with the choices.
‟I‛m really sorry, NingNing.” You rambled, rushing to her side. "Traffic was crazy today but I bought you a donut because I know you didn't eat anything this morning."
‟Thank you.” She smiled.
‟Are you ready?”
‟Of course I am.” She looked at you worriedly, ‟You‛re really okay with all of this?”
‟Are you crazy?" You deadpanned, "Why wouldn‛t I be?”
‟Maybe because she expected you to freak out.” Yunjin chimed in, ‟I mean, I‛m even suprise you‛re okay with it.”
‟It‛s all in the past, anyways.” You waved off, ‟Plus, we‛re going to be sister-in-laws!”
Three years ago, Chenle and NingNing had began hitting it off. After the night that NingNing heart went broken by his best friend, Chenle consoled her and offered her comfort. It wasn't as sudden as it seems because the both of them didn't gain feeling until a year later, having had been friends first and eventually grew closer. This news hadn't shocked his whole friend group though since their not-so-subtle flirting was as obvious as broad daylight.
Eventually, you had began seeing NingNing often in family gatherings when Chenle were to invite her into one. If you were being honest, through the initial start, it was awkward and tense between the two of you but eventually, you managed to put that aside and NingNing had became one of your close friends. You would occasionally steal her away from Chenle and make her hang out with your friends instead.
Which was why, when Chenle and NingNing had announced their engagement, NingNing had given you the title of 'maid-of-honour' when it was around the time the both of them have planned for their wedding. You were up and arms, in tears of happiness for the couple.
You couldn't have been more content for them.
Though, that meant that you would have to see an expected guest, in which Cenle had informed you beforehand and made sure you were okay with it.
To be completely honest, after blocking his number, you hadn't heard much of him. After graduation, you saw him approaching you but you ultimately shut him down, ignoring his presence and you hadn't seen him since. According to Chenle, he chose to travel abroad for his job in Osaka and although you were shattered with the news, you knew it was for the better as it would be easier for you to move on.
And that was the last time you saw him.
Fast forward as you let out a nervous breath, having had those years being away to finally being able to see him. You didn't know whether you should be excited or nervous.
You watched as NingNing walked across the aisle, holding onto her father as she suppressed her tears of happiness. You looked over towards your brother, watching as he too, held back his tears. Usually, you would've teased him for being emotional but you couldn't help but feel the warmth in your heart as the both of them have finally found love in each other.
As you scanned the wedding halls, your eyes landed onto a familiar pair of eyes. Your heart stopped for a moment as your breath hitched, watching as Jisung stared back at you. A look that you couldn't quite put a finger on.
"It's all good now, Jisung." NingNing assured, "I just thought you liked me from the way Chenle seemed to hype you up."
"Yeah, I'm sorry for leading you on." He apologised, following NingNing as the both of them walked through the empty hallways.
"Jisung, can you do me a favour?" She spoke up, "Stop apologising." She joked.
"Yeah, man." Chenle suddenly appeared, "It's getting annoying."
"Chen—"
"See you later, NingNing." He waved off.
NingNing only winked back as she made her way inside her lecture.
A moment of silence passed by, and Jisung swore he felt more nervous than ever, coming up ways to figure out what he was going to say.
"If you want to say something." Chenle interrupted, "Just say it, the silence is killing me."
"I'm sorry, Chenle." The male uttered, for a moment Chenle looked over in pity at Jisung, watching how distraught he looked. "You know, I was ready to beat you up next." He started, "But if you were really honest from the start, I would've understood you better."
"I'm just upset that you didn't trust me enough to tell me."
"I'm sorry— ow! Fuck!" Jisung shouted as the other smacked his face harshly, "What was that for?"
"Stop apologising, it's annoying."
"I— dude, I wasn't even going to say it!" He rubbed his other cheek that Chenle had slapped, glaring as Chenle offered him a smug smile. "I know."
He rolled his eyes.
"But in all seriousness." Jisung spoke up, "I really fucked up so is there any way I can make this up?"
Chenle seemed to think about it for a moment, rubbing his chin, "Well, there is one."
"If you like my sister, just go for it. You have my approval this time."
As you watched the both of them exchange their wedding vows, cheers emitted the wedding halls as the newly-wed couple shared a loving kiss. Your eyes scanned back to the crowd.
"Just go." Chaeryeong ushered, "We'll cover you up."
You smiled, thanking her before you quickly rushed off, politely pushing out relatives as you tried to find the black-haired boy.
Just then, you bumped into a certain someone. Looking up, you were suddenly greeted with Seungmin. His warm smile reached his lips as he greeted you.
"Seungmin. You came." You said in shocked.
"Yeah, couldn't miss this out."
Truth be told, Seungmin had confessed his feelings for you a few years ago, to which you had rejected him politely. You would've assumed that would caused some damages to your friendship but he was respectful with your decisions and still remained friends, keeping in touch even after graduation.
"Babe?" A voice suddenly called out, Seungmin turned around, "Hey, this is the maid-of-honour, I was talking about." He turned towards you, uttering your name as he introduced you to his girlfriend.
"It's nice to meet you but I have to go." You said as friendly as you could, not wanting to appear rude.
Seungmin gave you a knowing look.
"Jisung's right by the bar."
You thanked him as you squeezed your way, trying your best to not seemed to eager to see him. As you approached his figure, his back was turned towards you and you hesitated to call out to him.
Hesitantly, you tapped on his back and you watched as he turned around slowly. It seemed as if time had slowed down, as clichè as it sounds, because when you stared longingly into those eyes, it brings back fond memories and deep down, you knew that your feelings for him would never fade, no matter how hard you try to deny it. You wished that the moment would last for eternity. You were relieved when you could see the way he looked back at you lovingly, saying a million thoughts behind those eyes, the thought of which that he had still held those feeling for you just as dearly.
"Hi." You said breathlessly, still in trance.
"Hi." He chuckled, "It's been awhile, do you want to catch up?"
Were you willing to take that chance again?
©ruwriteshours
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you already know i’m way too soft… so i give you: [ CLOSE ] sender wrapping their arms around receiver who is on top after they’ve finished, holding them close against their chest with their face hidden in their neck while they recover.
special bonus if you somehow can make this the softest thing ever (the reward is a fat kiss)
you know what auttie u were the only one who picked this one but bcos it's you, imma do it anyways <3 MDNI this entire blog is 18+
One thing you can't say about Steve Harrington is that he is not a determined person.
Other people might use the word competitive but you know better; within him is burning determination that drives him to do better in everything he does. Loving you is one of those things. Loving you in bed... is another.
You're particular. You used to hate it — that you like this but not that, but you like this sometimes and that if you do it a certain way. It feels overly picky and for a long time, before you had Steve, you weren't sure if you allowed to be that picky.
But Steve meets your particularness head on.
So, if it means you need a little longer to cum? Well, it's simply of a challenge of stamina and working a little harder for it. Steve always rises to the challenge.
Tonight, you're wound extra tight— frustrated that it's taking you so long to get near your peak even with Steve doing all the right things. But he's more than pleased with letting you take what you need, giving breathy little groans just at the sight before him.
He's beneath you, one hand helping your hips rock forward and back, his throbbing cock buried deep in your wet cunt. You've been at it awhile, a slow ride on his cock, bringing both of you closer and closer— but Steve's focus is all on you.
"Fuck, you're so—" His words get swallowed up in his moan as you rise up on your thighs an inch and drop back down, the roll of his hips still so gentle. The sex is never too rough when you're on top. Steve doesn't care in the least, he likes it, he loves it. Adores when it's soft and slow and you take what you need from him.
"Oh f-fuck, honey," He whines, his hips bucking up and pressing his cock up into you. A flame of white hot pleasure licks up your spine as Steve's fucked out rambling continues. "So pretty—y'so fucking gorgeous."
It's a time where you have no choice to believe him completely — with the reverent expression on his face, flushed cheeks and cherry red lips, gazing up at you atop him like you're everything. The knot in your tummy burns hotter. A desperate whimper tumbles out your throat and your hips move a little faster.
"You getting close? Y'need my help, mm?" He asks. Normally, there would be that slight condescending lilt that makes you gush but tonight, it's just love. You nod, whimpering again as you do. You're close, so close— but not close enough.
"Yes," you gasp. "Please, Steve- more, I need— can you—"
"Hey, sh sh," Steve shushes you, hearing how you're getting worked up just trying to ask him for more. His hand slides from your hip across your belly, palm flat and warm, til his thumb finds your clit. He rubs fast circles, just the way you've taught him you like, and he's rewarded with a long whiney moan. "There we go, that's what you need, yeah?"
You're nodding, chest beginning to heave as the edges of your orgasm trickle in. Your hips move desperately, fucking yourself on his cock as his thumb gives the extra stimulation on your clit you need.
"S-Steve," you pant, a whimpery warning. "Steve, fuck, I'm— you're gonna make me cum, you're gonna—"
You cut yourself off with a loud whine, all high pitched and breathy, as your orgasm finally washes over you. You flutter around his cock and feel the grip of his hands tighten, Steve's own orgasm tipping over after holding off for so long. You can't help how your buckle, leaning forward and onto Steve's chest as you quiver and moan— Steve dutifully milking it as he fucks the both of you through your highs.
It's delirium, it's overwhelming, it's so much — you cum hard enough to see stars and bury your face away in his neck, safe to ride out the waves. You're still panting, cunt still clenching around him and Steve's hands move, dragging up your sides so he can wrap his arms around you in a big hug. One of his big hands strokes down your spine soothingly, his own heavy breathes beginning to slow.
"That was a big one, hm?" He murmurs, soft and low. You can see feel him throbbing inside you, can still feel bursts of pleasure making your thighs tremble. "Mm, I know it was, I know. You did so good, baby, so good."
You try to speak but another muffled pitiful noise escapes you instead and Steve's arms tighten their hug; his hands stroke over your hair this time, fingers drifting through to scrape at your scalp softly.
"Did so good f'me," He continues, finally feeling your body start to relax against him, recovering slowly from the intense high. Faintly, he can feel you press a kiss to his neck and it makes him smile. "So, so good. I love you, y'know?"
"I know," you manage to speak, words muffled against his skin. "I love you too."
Steve's smile transforms to a blinding grin, even though you can't see it — you swear his chest glows a little bit hotter beneath you. You kiss his neck again. God, he loves you well. You should move probably now that you've caught your breath— the sweat is beginning to cool.
One more minute, you think, happier than ever just where you are.
#gooey enough my love ?#hehehehehe#using well earned knowledge against u#jay answers#steve harrington x reader#jay writes#steve x reader#steve harrington#steve harrington smut#steve harrington x reader smut#autumn <3!#jays 1k sleepover#this is so. gimme it#yanno?
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ok after seeing gifs and having the time to think about the episode itself some more, i have some thoughts. about how poorly it was done, abrupt, and like a slap in the face, etc. i still hate the notes of biphobia in it but also i can Forgive the biphobia if they also take the time to address the biphobia, yknow?
pls keep in mind that this is partly my interpretation, partly my fix-it/make-it-make-sense, partly my criticism. also im not a writer, im a bitch w brain damage to the communication part of their brain who refuses to shut the fuck up lmao this shit is hard for me to write out
so its the 6 month anniversary date and tommy is all in, hes exactly what we were shown him to be: fucking smitten. he gives his boyfriend an (i assume expensive gift?) (idk bball ticket prices) anniversary gift. buck doesnt have a gift for him, but like thats not the end of the world, right? its only 6 months, after all. but this moment should be the beginning of tommys insecurities. the ending of the honeymoon stage. a teeny tiny niggle of maybe buck isnt as invested in this relationship as tommy thought?
maybe thats just a fleeting insecurity that is immediately fueled by the hot chick. again, hate to lean into the biphobic stereotypes. as a bisexual, fucking hate it. buck unconsciously going to use his phone to take the picture and hot chicks "trying to get my number" comment. the way buck doesnt just say "actually im here with my boyfriend" (and buck doesnt have to say it, he can come out to who he wants to, when he wants to, when hes comfortable to. im firm on this but i can also acknowledge that it can also feed into tommys insecurities) this shouldve been when tommys insecurities start coming in and they shouldve shown it. show us the way tommy might use his cool confidence as a mask to hide his vulnerability!!
instead of bringing up abby now, let tommy sit on this feeling. hell, show us that hes feeling this way and hates it. we know hes all for clear communication, and has come a long way with himself. hes confident and comfortable. so show us him struggling with feeling insecure about buck possibly not being as invested as he is. eg with the one sided-gifting, tommy always showing up for buck and we havent been shown buck reciprocating (which means fuck-all with this show but could be used rn to further the angst), the reminder buck is new to dating men etc
they couldve shown us tommy talking to hen or chim about feeling insecure about bucks baby bi status and "being his first but not his last" and hating that he feels that way. that hes doubting buck like this. they gave us this man who worked hard to be where he is, why couldnt they take one fucking scene to show this to us?? its pretty common, actually, for a LI to talk to one of the 118 without the LIs partner being there. but not this LI? ok.
and bcos of how shitty tommy feels about it all, that is why he, uncharacteristically, does not talk about it with buck. tommy is still processing this internally and isnt comfortable bringing it up to buck. but we know buck, hes good at picking up on when something is wrong. maybe he asks and tommy brushes it off. maybe buck says nothing yet and just feels a little, wrong-footed maybe? a little insecure himself? something he has been working on in himself for a long time now and doesnt want to put on tommy.
and that leads to the abby of it all. for the bare minimum of fucking continuities sake, they were never engaged lmao just together a long time during a difficult time for both of them (tommy closeted and abby w her mothers decline) maybe they were talking marriage. i wanted this to come up in another scene (maybe even another ep). i think it makes more sense, for buck to straight up say in this conversation that yeah, he is The Himbo.
tbh, play into the absurdity of it all, classic 911 style. like, this convo happens when one is heading to work or something?? so the only time they have is to think "huh, what are the odds??" and awkwardly laugh about it. set it up that they dont have the chance to really think about the implications until later, when theyre apart.
later comes. and now, they are both spiralling. theyre both feeling insecure in their relationship, for different- and unknown to the other!!- reasons. this is when miscommunication takes over and both parties are hurt and confused and brings them to the point of being unable to have that mature, adult conversation about their issues
buck still goes to maddie, and josh still gives his lovely speech. now bucks feeling better about tommys past (also when maddie makes her "turned them gay" comment buck corrects her and fucking says hes bisexual) wouldve been great to see tommy talk to someone too, about him and abby and abby and buck. also fill in some of them plot holes while they are at it lmao
tommy talking to bobby, preferably. bcos he wasnt Captain Dad when tommy was there, they were never close. and they mention how tommy only referred to abby as "his gf" and she never had the time or interest to meet the 118 or visit the station idk and tommy didnt push for it either. give their relationship some nuance and clarity i guess!! and back up joshs great speech with some of how tommy felt back in those days! really take the time to fill all of this out, yknow?? and maybe talking with bobby about their shared past helps tommy feel a bit more secure with buck right now and ready to talk about it with him.
and now we get to the break up. now that these cracks are shown and seemingly repaired. they both try to talk about their insecurities, but it just goes wrong. buck spooks tommy with the moving in and marriage talk, tommy hurts buck with the "im ur first not ur last."
except this time tommy isnt saying it like a its a fact, instead he says that he fears that hes bucks first but not last. but buck takes that badly (understandable), like tommy hasnt been as invested in this relationship since he apparently has been waiting to break up for 6 months? and if so then why act like he was all in? etcetc
and tommy, yeah tommy has some shit to work thru still, but its also the way buck is talking of moving in and marriage and forever, his impulsiveness has tommy questioning again if they are really on the same page here. i can see tommy getting stuck on the "move in with me" bcos why would tommy leave his larger home to move into bucks loft? has buck even thought about this at all? hell, while they discuss abby, u could have buck, in an attempt to reconnect and reassure his trust in tommy, talk about mistakes hes made with exes (obvi example, what happened with taylor). and instead of reassuring tommy, it does the opposite (tbh im not a big fan of that, bringing up bucks past mistakes. but also it kinda does balance out tommys treatment of abby and continue bucktommys tit-for-tat sharing, yknow? except this time it goes wrong)
basically, theyre both trying to communicate and work thru these insecurities, these fucking hurdles, but theyre both too hurt and scared in this moment and we are watching them both try to make sense of it all and work it out, and we know they both want to but in this moment they just, cant. emotions are high and it gets a little mean (from both sides! not just tommy saying "i was never ur last", let buck do more than just be broken up with), the break up happens, tommy leaves.
(and then they cry and pine and get angry and try to move on and they cant and then somethings brings them back together (CTH!! 🚁💥🏥) and now they are in a better place to communicate and work thru these issues and kiss and make up and maybe at some point during all this theres a discussion or two about biphobia)
thanks fer reading this fukcing novel lmao i just feel that, if they had taken the fucking time to let this storyline fucking breath (god, let any of them breath this season, fuck) and put some fucking effort into it, i would not be so upset. maybe they had intended to portray some of this in that episode, if so they did it fucking terribly
anyway. again, im not very good at this but i love talking about and reading other ppls thoughts!! if someone feels they could write something more coherently, god. pls do lmao (also pls tell me if theres a typo or word or sentence that just makes no sense, i triple checked but aphasia is a cunt lmao)
#bucktommy#tommy kinard#bucktommy fix it#kinda#im wary of tagging this lmao#hel watches 911#long post
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