#bc this was never meant to be an art blog??

[real-fire-emblem-takes]

i have a proposition to make to the fire emblem fandom in regards to ai bullshit: we makalov the face of the anti-ai movement depending on how different systems are set up, be it for those who write, those who draw, etc, there are likely ways to rig the system to overload the systems with specific things which is why i suggest we use makalov for this those who have played the tellius duology know he isnt exactly the greatest guy, and also know that mod goldmary seems to be the exception not the rule when it comes to how people view him as a character, so when people try to cheat by using stolen work feed to an ai to create some garbage about fire emblem? they can never escape that piece of shit no matter how hard they try, they'd be lucky if they even see marth no idea if it still applies but i know tumblr had it set up where each specific blog and side blog needed to go into settings to disable ai feeding, if that is still the case then it should be easy to just create a side blog just for the purposes of fucking with the systems when it comes to art just go nuts, don't have any specific things aside from putting so much makalov dna into the system that it thinks fire emblem lords have pink hair instead of blue, maybe purposefully fuck up the hands and other limbs and whatnot so they can never fully fix that issue meanwhile for writing, oh boy i got ideas, smut writers this is your time to shine! make the most nasty vile shit imaginable(while still being legal ofc just gross) and always include makalov in it, heck maybe mess the system up by ruining the lore on purpose and putting him in games he's not supposed to be in, want to have an ai write a fanfiction about awakening? too bad you lazy sack of shit you'll never escape this pink haired horse man no matter what timeline you try seeing as the purpose of these writings is to mess up any bot trying to create fanfiction this also means those who are horrible when it comes to writing can also join in! purposefully misspell and misuse words, throw proper grammar out of the window, and act like this is just how human language naturally works! also those who are good at writing can also purposefully not write good, though as a writer myself i know that is easier said then done at this point, it isn't meant to be posted to your main accounts but rather an extra expendable account just made for the purposes of ruining ai for fire emblem, or if we're lucky ai in general! tl;dr: it would be really fucking funny if this wretched bastard of a man named makalov became known for being the anti-ai symbol of the fandom

Terrible idea. There's already hundreds of thousands of fe images and fanfics in their database, a few pieces of makalov art and fics will not change much. Also making stuff specifically to ruin ai is just not a smart idea. Make something bc you enjoy it instead.

I know you mean well, but please do proper research before you suggest something like this :(

If you really wanna troll with makalov, then join the makasweep for cyl9 and vote for makalov!

[rainypebble07]

I love making the silly drawings for you guys, but I think someone should ask me a question about one of my fics!

[moodr1ng]

im well aware that its profoundly cringe to admit to this publicly, alright, but sometimes i just stop to think and realize.. literally my entire life would be radically different if i hadnt been into homestuck when i was 14. like, i would not have had some of the fundamentally important relationships that shaped the way my teen years and young adulthood went. and due to this i would not be living in this home. i would not have the same friends today. i would have been in very different social circles and mightve evolved very differently as a person. i literally might not be alive - i have had my life quite literally saved by friends who i met or bonded with through being into this shitty comic, and by literally i mean was physically prevented from dying last minute. like thats crazy?? and all over homestuck????

[skenpiel]

O BTW b4 i go to bed. heres some silly stupid doodles of my redesigned trollsona since im rereading hs now anyway ^__^

[deus-ex-mona]

we are united in a common cause on this ✨#blessed✨ day

[arachnohoebia]

why do roleplayers who don't want non rp blogs touching their content put their roleplays IN THE COMMUNITY TAGS

[scrivler]

of all your characters, who’s your favorite?? (a top 5 works too!)

Weirdly I don’t pick favorites that much, my favorite at any given time is just who I have most recently been getting ideas about or drawing so right now my favorite is Oatmeal

After him then it’s about a 5 way tie between some of my apocalypse characters (Mark, Kim, Bonnie, Tin, Walker)

[miothle]

Hello! I believe this is my first text post ever,,,forgive me if I sound anxious (bcs I am) but I'd like to talk about some changes to this blog!

Firstlt, I'm so sorry for the inactivity - I've been unhappy with my current art (or rather the obligation to make art of subjects I don't really want to) to the point of being burnout. But no I'm not quitting don't worry,,

This blog was originally meant to be my art portfolio - for work purposes - but I've decided that I'd like to treat it more like a personal blog. I want to use this blog to share my passion and not hold it off for the sake of keeping it professional or smth,,,so expect more unfinished sketches/wips/merch photos in the future! Basically expect more yapping! (im so sorry)

Most importantly, although this blog has been 99% hoyoverse related art, I'll be stepping away slowly from hoyo games for personal reasons. So expect me to draw less hoyo and more diverse fandoms in the future (eg Wuwa, FGO, madoka, you name it)

With all the heads up being said, please feel free to unfollow if this is not your cup of tea! No hard feelings, I just want to say: Thanks for sticking with me until now, it truly meant a lot! I love seeing the nice (and down bad) tags from your reblogs...always make my day, never change🙏🙏🙏

That's all for now! I will yap again soon🫶

[ribena59p]

I've seen a lot of people try to paint Orcatstra / Maowzarts as problematic, and I believe much of it stems from misinformation or misunderstandings, often because it's being spread through word of mouth. I'm not making this post because Orcatstra asked me to—because they didn’t. No one is forcing me to write this; I'm doing it of my own free will. I really hope that #orcatstrahaters will take the time to read this carefully before dismissing it just because Orcatstra is my friend. I'm writing this to clear up the misinformation surrounding them, as I’ve seen people unfairly group them with genuinely problematic figures like Mawthe (who, by the way, draws necro art!!!).

Yes, there have been times when Orcatstra could have handled situations better (I'll try to keep my personal opinions on those situations brief), but let’s not forget—they’re 17! Some people seem to think that just because they’ll be 18 in a few months, they’re suddenly supposed to be all-knowing. Meanwhile, others are excusing or even babying older individuals like Criminalx3 and Parsnipling, both of whom, to my knowledge, are in their twenties! THEY should know better.

(Because someone asked) I bring up Parsnipling because they were called out for posting a fanfic where Dave from DSAF had animal genitalia (a cloaca). They then accused me of being the reason people sent them death threats, even though all I did was share a thread showing what they had posted. I didn’t even tell anyone to block them. Parsnipling lied to me, claiming that the tags with "cloaca" were meant as jokes. Afterward, they left Twitter (due to death threats, unfortunately) and went back to Tumblr, where they posted about how fandoms used to be spaces for "freaks." Take that as you will.

(I’m not debating the morality of referring to non-human genitalia with animal terms. Personally, I find it strange, which is why I made the thread in the first place—to draw attention to it. People are free to come to their own conclusions and decide whether to block or avoid interacting with them as they see fit.)

This post isn’t made to say you can’t..not Like orcatstra as a person..cus u can…everyone can dislike anyone for any reason just to reiterate this is just made to clear up misinfo

I exclusively use they/them pronouns for Orcatstra in this post specifically so that people don’t get confused about who I’m referring to, but please keep in mind when discussing them that they use any pronouns (besides from she).

The main points for why people deem orcatstra as problematic (that I’ve seen) are:

* Running a 15 year old off of their own tumblr blog

* Accusing a rape victim of liking and supporting rape + accusing the same person of being a groomer

* Comparing phone x Jack to slave x slave owner

* Blocking people for shipping things that they don’t like

I’ll be going through these one by one and explaining what happened to my knowledge.

Running a 15 year old off of their own tumblr blog

The 15-year-old in question ran a DSAF confessions account, where they posted anonymous confessions from people within the DSAF community. These confessions were typically related to DSAF topics.

I've seen people claim that Orcatstra harassed this person because their blog posted confessions about people disliking Davesport. However, that's completely inaccurate—Orcatstra doesn't, and never did, care if people dislike Davesport, so that part of the accusation is blatantly false.

(This is Orcatstras own words)

“I didn’t like harass them to the point they had to quit at most I made like 2 posts publicly and kept the rest of my disdain of a confessions account private”

“and I only disliked them 1) bc they’re a confess account which is inherently made to post and stir up drama like what. and 2) they DID post stuff that would cause drama so I was like dawg wtf”

“and then ppl from that blog started harassing ME 😭😭😭IN MY ANON ASKS 😭😭”

“Not (the 15 year old) I think but just ppl who followed the blog or were one of the “anons””

I believe some people are upset because Orcatstra was venting about the account on their private account, but I’m not really sure why... They're mad about that? Orcatstra’s private account only has about 50 followers, and most of those are people who follow with both their main and private accounts.

“I also think ppl were mad because I made a (admittedly dramatic) post talking about why I didn’t like the confessions account ,, but again from what I remember the points were just the og mod posting stuff that’s clearly gonna stir the pot YKWIM ..”

“and I only made that post because someone asked & for some reason you can’t comment pictures on tumblr which I think is quite stupid ☝️”

Accusing a rape victim of liking and supporting rape

(I do not know this persons pronouns so I will be referring to them with they/them pronouns, if they do not use these pronouns please tell me and I will edit this section to display the correct pronouns)

I believe the person being referred to is Cr1minalc1minalcr1minal, who has read and bookmarked non-con fanfics on AO3. Non-con stands for non-consensual, which is essentially the definition of rape. Orcatstra believes that if someone regularly consumes this type of content, it’s reasonable to assume they enjoy reading it. However, Orcatstra has never claimed that Criminalx3 supports rape.

“OH WAIT is it ok if i add that when i did point out the fanfic thing i genuinely was not aware at the time that guy was a victim, ..i dont rlly go on his acc bc i blocked him for my well being (i think thats the right way to use the phrase) … and i didnt/dont wanna be super creepy and stalk him. .. U CATCH MY DRIFT ..”

+ accusing the same person of being a groomer

(This is Orcatstras own words)

“So .. criminal ... I got this info from oomf so keep that in mind, but l've been told that he mains posts nsfw and encourages minors to consume nstw media and to my knowledge hangs out with one specific minor who changed ever since they became friends or something like that I NEVER! Explicitly said anyone was a groomer! ☝️ but it is very weird to see someone do that as an adult”

So they’re (minor and criminal) writing together but it’s not smut

“it’s not but like for a brief second we (orcatstra and oomf) were worried it was because. yk. that seems to mainly be what that guy makes 😓😓😓 (from what I’ve gathered)”

“And then I had to delete my replies bc I was replying on main and someone on tumblr (who does not follow (*oomfs) priv) took the links of my replies so I was like ‘erm what the freak this is kinda supposed to be a private convo’ and deleted them”

From what I understand, Orcatstra was having a conversation on their main account with someone on their private account, and they were discussing something about Criminalx3 that they believed to be true. However, it turned out not to be accurate. Unfortunately, someone on Tumblr took this conversation out of context and framed it as if Orcatstra was accusing Criminalx3 of being a groomer.

I don’t believe that Orcatstra ever made a public post stating that criminal was a groomer.

(I tried looking, but I may be wrong, feel free to correct me and I’ll edit this section)

Comparing phone x Jack to slave x slave owner

I believe this was stated in a now private youtube video where Orcatstra ranks dsaf ships, it may also be said in some tweets.

By definition, the DSAF 3 phone guys are slaves, regardless of the route. They are legally owned by Jack and work without pay. I understand that "slave" is a very strong and impactful word, which is why I'm personally hesitant to use it, but by definition, that’s what they are. You literally see Jack buying Harry in the DSAF 3 intro tapes. I've also seen people try to defend this by saying, "Well, Jack can be nice to them!"—as if that somehow erases the fact that he still owns them.

Blocking people for shipping things that they don’t like

There's nothing wrong with blocking people, even for no particular reason. It can be a little upsetting to get blocked over a post about a ship, but try not to take it personally—it’s just the internet. Unless you were doing something genuinely awful, Orcatstra probably blocked you simply because they didn’t want to see a ship they don’t like. They're just curating their online experience, which is totally normal.

And yes, people are bringing this up as an actual point against them.

I know that many people who dislike Orcatstra also dislike me for being their friend and sharing similar opinions. However, if you haven’t blocked me, please share this with others who might be misinformed.

There have been additional things added on by other people in reblogs if you would like to hear their side of the story.

I am more than happy to engage in neutral and respectful discussions, but I will not be willing to continue if you begin the conversation by being extremely rude or using offensive language. In any other case, I’m fully open to a constructive exchange of ideas, thank you.

[frosting-surfeit]

(Super old drawings i decided to share bc theyre just so funny to me)

i fucking love how i made him a coat blob thing he looks a lil skrunkly

Also i still kinda like the last one??

Im finally processing what invader zim meant to me when i was younger and how it completely changed my life, about fucking time id say

One of the first things on the list were the drawings... oh boy the drawings, with my imposter syndrome back when i was copying jhonen's art as well as my shame for shipping zadr on full display in some drawings where i make fun of myself for it

I found these and i kinda liked them amongst the chaos tho and decided to keep them on my blog to never go through my pile of drawings ever again just to see these

[sunlit-mess]

Hello, I hope it's not rude but I'm REALLY REALLY fond of your art!!!!! I was scrolling through your blog from new to old and found that you have Bpd,,,. I only heard about this condition, what is it like? If it's ok to know,,,!

hello, thank u! uhm it's something? HAHAHAHA idk how to explain it 😭🏳 lemme try to be as direct as possible

I'm high-functioning, but there are points I seriously just start showing symptoms.

Emotions: INTENSE as it can get while FEELING 99 PERCENT EMPTY. Something just- keeps you so.. hungry (not literally). Sensory is also another factor, and honestly I burn out a lot, tend to get overwhelmed n meltdown like shit

Identity: I either have BEEF WITH it, feel GODLY, or be so LOW, really low. I live with both passion and hate. I'm very confused. But I can say I'm just tired!

Attachments: Relationships are so hard to maintain bc of how much I fear abandonment, like bro I can't even leave my family as much as I want to. I'm more scared of getting disowned or losing my name. Love is a concept I long to grasp at the same time scared of it, I don't understand jackshit about " love ".

> I tend to self-Isolate with or without reason

> ...I used to test other people whether they can handle me or not, whether they'd leave or not. Not anymore though, but the thought lingers.

> Very- paranoid- about.. perception, neglect and invalidity HAHA.

Mindset: They call it Black and White, or generally just two categories to label my perception of things. However, I try to understand AS MUCH AS I CAN about a situation, etc. See what's in-between before I decide. that's really hard for me to do LOL.

> I always do my best to think and be nice

> I can be so fucking bad at the same time, only to regret it the next second or so

> My mind is scattered all over the place, It's exhausting

Trauma: I have memory problems and a lot to connect with that. Hate and fear is what I'm accustomed to. I live with a fuck ton of active predicaments like hell. Old wounds keeps reopening, and new ones never closes.

Impulse: shows in speech more than in action (THANK GOD LMAO I'D DIE IF I LET MY INTRUSIVE THOUGHTS WIN)

Habits: uhm. Ranging from sunshine and rainbows to SELF-DESTRUCTIVE. I get obsessive, like.. really obsessive.

Coping mechanisms: Usually I have mood stabilizers and anti-depressants n shit, but I don't rely on them anymore (bc I can't keep buying). I don't have good coping mechanisms even for physical needs. It's so bad bro. So I just end up drawing. that's the only good one I can list.

Living with it: Exhausting and an internal war 24/7. Does it affect me physically? Yes. Does it come with other mental factors and conditions? Also yes! But as one of God's most tired soldiers, nothing I can do but keep walking.

What I'm confused about: dawg last time, i kept searching about how conditions co exists like— Thats normal?? N the last diagnosis I was in confirms it does and nothing to worry about. BLUD I AM DEF WORRYING. Autism n bpd? u mean my behavior and shit isnt meant to be invalid as most people perceive — u mean these fckass experiences built that bpd? ☠️ WHAT AM I THEN—

(I'm having a hard time believing it bc as an adult, it's harder to process information like these)

[enden-k]

I've been following you since before you started Genshin, back when you were doing Fate/Grand Order art. I've stuck with your art as you've jumped from fandom to fandom, and I love your style so much... BOTH old and new style. But I think the fact that you are just so nonchalant about deleting anything old you ever make to the point of encouraging others to like your own content JUST so you can delete it is just too much for me. I've seen you encourage that at least twice now. That is actually discouraging for people when it comes to engaging with content. Someone liking a piece and engaging with it increases it's chances of deletion? I can't understand.

Yes, sure, it's your work. You do it for free. At the end of the day it's your choice what happens to it. But it pains me to see you delete anything old, even works of yours I enjoy. I'm considering unfollowing, as much as I want to see you continue on your art journey even when it jumps to fandoms unfamiliar, because I can't get attached to your work when I have no idea when it's going to disappear from the internet forever at any point.

??? im not encouraging people to like my old stuff so i can delete it, and people liking my stuff doesnt increase its chance of deletion. i tend to joke to hide the fact that it actually DOES make me a bit nervous but there is STILL plenty of my old things on tumblr, twitter and pixiv. most of the stuff i deleted were old ass replies to make navigation easier. and most of the art pieces i deleted are ones i either made while in very bad mental space or because i connect unpleasant memories of certain people with it (im not vagueing anyone here, we go separate ways)

i also sometimes just forget about things i meant to delete later or find pieces that make me feel uncomfortable/embarrassed and i have every right to delete those. im still insecure about my art and i get uncomfortable when people compliment me too much bc it still feels undeserving. it always was like this. sometimes its so bad i just want to delete my entire blog and never pick up a pen again. its not often anymore that i react like this but sometimes i get this violent reaction when i see "faulty" old art of mine i feel very embarrassed about. perfection is bs ofc etcetc but when it comes to my own things i get embarrassed when people see my faults or rlly bad art and i dont want anyone to make fun of me again, to laugh at me for making a mistake or being bad at something ever fucking again.

you want to see my old art? here you go. its still here. its all here.

if you want to unfollow me, please, go ahead. people can do whatever they want and im not forcing anyone here to stay. do whatever feels right and comfortable to you, thats the most important thing.

[hana-bobo-finch]

it took me way too long to finish this but here, 50 follower special!!! one pikmin for every follower!!! Actually have 53 now but those 3 were after I already got far into this so I couldn’t add them, sorry!! Pretend you are represented in pikmin form

My mutuals got more detailed pikmin meant to represent them, hopefully I did a good job with that, I tried to base them off of either pfps, descriptions, or sona designs so if I did a bad job with that lmk because I am more than willing to try to fix it!!

warning for sappy rambling under the cut

AAAAGHHH THANK YOU SO MUCH SERIOUSLY YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH IT MEANS TO ME!!! I APPRECIATE EVERY ONE OF YOU THANK YOU FOR GIVING MY SILLY LITTLE BLOG YOUR ATTENTION!!! SOBBING!!! THIS GOOFY LITTLE DRAWING CANNOT ACCURATELY CAPTURE HOW HAPPY I AM!!! And to my mutuals!! @starlightswordfight @toiletdestroyer3415 @alaskacoolkid1 @hyliaphora-cecropia @eepymallowmarsh @a-muffin @foxflierdeviousemoji @cuntyyellowpikmin I AM SENDING SO MUCH PLATONIC LOVE YOUR WAY. SO MUCH. I don’t know if I’m necessarily close enough to any of you to call you my friend and I’m way too shy to ever ask but either way. You are all so very cool and extremely appreciated. Idk if mallow will be able to see this bc iirc they can’t be as active on here which is a real shame but all of this applies to them as well!! Mallow if/when you can see this you are so very cool and appreciated!!! Also your dinyon art is my life sustenance

Thank you all for every single like and reblog and comment and all that stuff!!! It really means so much to me that people care enough about my goofy little art to do all that. It’s a generic thing to say but I really never expected this blog to gain any traction at all and I’m so thankful it did!! Even if it’s just a small amount in the grand scheme of things!! Sorry if this is all just sappy and weird cause I know we’re not exactly close friends!! I am just absolutely ecstatic!!! Again thank you all so much!!!

[yakichoufd]

would u ever consider tagging your more sexual stuff? i get if you don't wanna, since it's your blog and all haha. just asking bc i looooove looking at your art, but i keep getting jumpscared by scott with his hands in his pants or smth lol

My bad! I am unsure if I will cause when something is relatively soft and clothes are on, I don't per say think of tagging it. I would suggest to block me if it is something that keep bothering you. My tumblr is relatively SFW but I would not say my blog is still safe to check out in public or that i wont post soft suggestive scenes. If these themes are not your cup of tea, don't check my blog out, lol! And I keep forgetting tagging things I meant to tag.

I draw everyday life, I love drawing lovers life the most, and sex is part of life. I dont post my most explicit art here or if I do, i crop it. If that is something you find not appropriate and upset you, that's ok, but I do what I feel appropriate for my blog. Again, if that is something you don't appreciate, feel free to block me.

I will try to be cautious with my tagging for next time. But I can't promise anything, cause some people feel some stuff inappropriate when I personnaly don't. We all have different boundaries and it is my blog, my way. I already don't share most of my work since I am a NSFW artist. I want to keep my tumblr as my comfort place where I don't want to worry too much about what people will think. That's why there are so many doodles here. I never thought my x-men fanarts would gain such interest here. I am glad people enjoy what I draw, but I mostly draw for myself. Especially when I share my doodles here. My tumblr was pretty quiet, so it was my little "me" space and I want to keep it that way. I am already too stressed with my other social media, I don't want that all my Internet experience to be stressful just because some people might not appreciate what I post or tag on my blog. But I can add some tag for next time... if I don't forget lol!

I also had enough people telling me what I should or should not do, and I would rather these people to block me. You are in power of handling your Internet experience with the blocking button, and it is not because you like some of my art that you can enjoy everything I post. It is ok. I will also try to tag properly, but again, I might forget sometimes. So if it is too much for you, block me!! :)

[ghostchems]

about me

hello friends! i am chems, i’m 28 and my pronouns are she/her. i write for ghost mainly but have been known to dabble in bg3 and arcane (potentially hehe). i tend to write spooky, sexy and sad fics but have been known to throw some fluff in here

i write for all the papas but am most comfortable with terzo and copia.

my blog is 18+! if you follow and are a minor, i will block.

ask box info:

when sending in asks, headcanons, prompts, etc. please consider what i do and do not write about.

mainly because there is a reason i don’t write about certain things. these reasons are:

personal preference: i am just not into certain things! and that’s okay! i’ve supported fics of things i’m not super into in the past because they are well written and good but. i don’t write it myself.

personal experiences: there’s a big thing i don’t write about because of some very very personal experiences i have had. again, i have supported fics about certain things that i would never write about bc they are well done and good but i just. can’t write it. brings up stuff. makes me feel not good.

as a reminder, i typically write papa x fem/gn!reader. i dabble with silco and raphael but i mainly stick with ghost. just like it is urged to tag posts that have potentially triggering topics in them, think about this before sending in your requests because some requests i've gotten have been a bit triggering to me.

i reserve the right to ignore any ask that i do not vibe with.

just tumblr things:

remember that we are all here for fun. this is supposed to be FUN! we are here to support each other and indulge in great fics and art. it’s not all about reach and popularity (though likes and reblogs are so very appreciated)

if you don’t like something, don’t comment. ignore and move on. people are allowed to like what they like!

my viewpoints are my own and they are never meant to offend or hurt anyone’s feelings

i will talk to anyone! you can just message me and i will answer. it’s true. ask anyone :)

~ao3~

~tumblr masterlist~

stinkily,

chems

[kroosluvr]

sorry i feel bad for ranting on """Main"" i guess though i kinda keep this more of apersonal blog than a very polished art blog thing. under the cut

things wld be easier if i was just an oc-centric artist (which i kinda am but only to myself in my head) but it Is how it is at this point (i want to draw my ocs more but they never turn out the way i want) and theres just so much i want to draw for the silly little media franchises that happen to capture my stupid little heart and etc.

ahhhhhhhhhhhh ifeel stupid for loving too much or whatever. i dont want to throw a pity party over this either because in the end its just "who cares LOVE WHAT U LOVE DRAW WHAT U WANT" right but in the moment i feel stupid and it sucks and i hate it actually!!!!!!! and i WILL in fact keep drawing hwat i want and what makes me happy but like idkidkdidkgkhw

sometimes i cant help thinking if i was a better artist.,, like more artistically skilled........ would people really say the things they do about the things i draw

^ (Authors note: no one has been mean about the stuff i draw just. side comments i guess lol. from my friends though and not random people . so its harder to just brush off i guess)

like maybe im just not good enough yet. which is fine. spite is actually a really good drawing proponent. but its also just like . when will it be enough to be worth it? will it be worth being my friend now if im a good artist? if i draw what you want? ...........................

its obviously not discounting the people who really enjoy my art style adn what i draw regardless (which im soooo so grateful for bc i never like expect anyone to stick around sicne my fixations change like the wind) but its like... these r the people i spend the most time with . and it sucks. i have to. second guess what i say and what i type and just. ok like i know its not that serious either but i hate it i really dont like it (<- im also just socially anxious if u cant tell)

and its also like i cant just extract myself from my friend group for a while to kinda cool off (read: muster the courage to be an idiot in front of them again) bc ummmmm um i dont have many friends . they are kind of all i got. (which is nice i like small circles(?) im not good at opening up to people.) and i do admire and like them very much but then i just feel like i get bit in the ass all the time (This past month) with shit like this i guess

and honestly like. well half the reason i keep switching fixations is BECAUSE of stuff like this where i feel self conscious of """"Being obsessed"""" over One thing so much so i just immediately switch tracks so fast but its just a cycle (Which i dont see as a bad thing tbh? it keeps my art moving and things fresh so like.)

And honestly i dont really try to . be too vocal about. fandom? stuff? when im with my friends? unless they bring it up first? i got burnt so many times with my vtuber interests so like lol ive Learned. but maybe it slips out too much? bruh. my bad i guess

i have to stop thinking abt this man.., why has this happened to me so many times this past month lol its kind of ridiculous

(Im sure they dont like. mean it. right? ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, if they actually meant it and want me to shut up then they should just actually say so right.,

i just want to draw . its not going to stop me from drawing but damn does it really like rain on my parade or put a dent in my fender or whatever other sayings that i cant think of right now

in the end i really REALLY appreciate frm the very very bottom of my heart everyone that even remotely likes/appreciates my art (especially the persona stuff nowadays bc thats what im mainly pouring all my mental and physical and emotional into) like i really really mean it. because this stuff like my silly comics and stuff is really stuff i make for purely my own heart and just what i want to see kinda. and so it just makes me feel really warm that people also want to see it and keep seeing it and love it and everything like that. and, with all this kind of negative stuff going on i just go back and reread tags and comments and stuff and i feel encouraged to keep going and draw more and everything like that. so like really, truly, thank you. i really never thought so many people would like the stuff i make. even if its not really artistically good, or really deeply interesting, im really happy it could be something special to people out there