#at least they know they are heard and valid
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
flameswallower · 9 hours ago
Text
For the decade between my conscious realization that I was probably trans, or wanted to transition (circa age 17, around 2006), and the time I actually, seriously began coming out to people in my real life and taking steps to transition in my real life (age 28, in late 2017 and early 2018), there are two things I really wanted and needed to hear from out trans people. I heard them a couple of times, but probably not enough in the face of all the directly contradictory messages I was also getting— I think hearing this stuff consistently online and in IRL queer spaces could have cut those ten years in half, at least.
The first is, you know, “you are already on hormones and you find them rather suboptimal. do you feel like you’re not trans enough to need or deserve the type of HRT you want? well, that’s stupid. this should be a choice you can make freely for no reason other than that you want to. if you get the opportunity you should try it, no matter how your specific gender identity shakes out.”
The second is, “actually, you are meaningfully trans the second you declare your transness. that time you tried to get people to use they/them pronouns for you but almost everybody ignored the request or made it super clear they just saw you as your AGAB anyway? that sucked. the people you saw online saying you shouldn’t take certain non-medical steps to alter your appearance in a gendered way unless you were both ‘really trans’ and all the way out of the closet, or else you were trying to trick people and appropriating Something Important from the Actual, Out trans people? they were being stupid and narrow-minded, not to mention ignorant about the ways people tend to realize they are trans to begin with. If you say you are/want to be trans, I will support you in everything you want out of that even if it’s unconventional, or you do end up deciding against HRT/can’t take it, or you still ‘look like’ your AGAB to me, or you don’t pass as your actual gender well, or you still have to live publicly as your AGAB for a time, or or or…regardless, you are not some orphan who’s neither really trans nor really cis and accepted by cis people.”
I think these messages work really well together, and don’t contradict each other in any way. I also think they’re both going to become increasingly radical things to say over the next several years, at least in mixed company or to someone who is still closeted or mostly closeted.
It might be paranoid of me, but I have earnestly wondered whether some of the trans discourse that tries to pit “no-ho transition is a totally valid option that may interest you, and people who transition this way are (already) trans” against “HRT is great, if you think you want it you should try it if you can, informed consent is the way forward” is an op. It feels op-ish to me! It’s incredibly obvious that neither of these positions are remotely “truscummy,” since those are people who believe both that trans people who have “weird” genders and/or don’t medically transition are not “really” trans, AND that HRT should be heavily gatekept to prevent people who aren’t “really trans” or “trans enough” accessing it.
I think that saying "it's ok to be trans and not transition" is like saying "it's okay to be gay and not pursue gay relationships." like. it's obviously permissible, it is socially normative, it is the expectation placed on all people within society. Honestly, spreading "positivity" about not transitioning isn't even value neutral, I think it's outright transphobic.
2K notes · View notes
inamindfarfaraway · 2 days ago
Text
AITA for paying my employee minimum wage?
I can’t believe I’m doing this, but I suppose unusual events may call for unusual responses. I (male in my 70s) am a wealthy businessman, landlord and moneylender, making most of my income from rent and debts. My clerk (male in his 30s) is my only employee. He has a family with a few kids, not sure how many. I pay him a perfectly respectable minimum wage for his position and I even gave all of tomorrow off with pay for Christmas, despite my opinion that a frivolous holiday is not that good a reason to skip work. He’s worked for me for many years and never once complained about his pay or conditions. He might not particularly enjoy his job either, but he doesn’t have to. It’s work, not play. Hell, I don’t particularly enjoy my job.
However, this evening… I heard another point of view. You’d never believe me if I told you everything and it feels like a dream - I’d certainly like it to be a dream, but I don’t see how I could have thought of it - but let’s just say that I was visited by an old friend. He’d been my business partner (male in his late 60s). Seven years ago he… left and I never expected to see him again. He came back though, apparently just to tell me off. He’s not doing well. He’s been travelling among all sorts of people and deeply disturbed by what he’s seen. The plight of ‘mankind’ and all that. He made a big deal about how I should be nicer to people and more generous and such, as if it were a matter of life and death. Last I knew we were on the same page about everything, but just now he looked at me like I was a criminal. Or an asshole, as it were. I don’t understand it.
I want to stress that nothing I’m doing is illegal. None of my business, none of how I treat my clerk. Well, I imagine that technically, if you were being harsh, you could argue that occasionally my conduct toward him falls under ‘harassment’, but I think that’s a stretch. When I’m strict, it’s out of valid concern for productivity. I am truly dedicated to my work; all I ask is that my clerk be the same. If he needs more money so badly, he should have the guts to ask for it and explain himself (I’d still have to consider my answer, but at least I’d know that he felt that way) or just find a different job or perhaps, heaven forbid, be a bit more financially responsible. If he has to scrape together Christmas festivities, maybe he shouldn’t bother celebrating it at all, for example. Why spend his money on that instead of food or clothes? Or keeping or investing it? I’ve saved as much as possible and I’m all the better off for it. I think it’s far more likely that he simply wants more than he deserves - if he does want a raise, which he hasn’t said! He agreed to this pay. We made an arrangement, and based on the stable routine of all these years, it benefits both of us. I don’t know why my friend thinks there’s a problem.
But he does. He was… he was seriously unhappy with me. I’ve never known him to be so sentimental, and he wouldn’t get that emotional for absolutely no reason, so here I am. Am I ‘the asshole’ for paying my employee a completely legal and normal minimum wage?
Update:
I think I probably am the asshole here. I’ve read your feedback, done a lot of reflection, taken quite the walk down memory lane, and among other things I remembered my old boss and how he treated me. He dominated so much of my life, he could have done the bare minimum or made me miserable, but he was nice. He just chose to be kind. Like he asked “Why not?” when I always tend to ask “Why?”. And he payed me better than I pay my employee, especially relative to his income. I can definitely afford to give my clerk a raise, and treat him with more respect while I’m at it. Authority is a powerful thing. I’ve… I’ve been taking advantage of it. I’ve been taking my clerk for granted. But he’s a good worker and he deserves to be rewarded. I’ll raise his pay when he comes back in on Boxing Day.
Thank you for your advice. I don’t appreciate the insults - I am not a parasite, I have pulled myself up with my own honest work, and there’s nothing wrong with getting ahead when it’s eat or be eaten. We all do what we have to do. But I should also do more. So in hindsight, much of your criticism was accurate and warranted. Good for you. I know it’s a bad time and you must all busy and/or tired. I wasn’t planning to stay up this late. I will now hopefully get some sleep.
Should I say goodbye? I don’t know what I’m doing, I’ve never done this before. What the hell, why not? Goodnight.
Update:
So. Some more stuff happened and I ended up going for a… a walk, an extremely normal walk, and meeting my clerk’s family. Or at least seeing them. It’s hard to explain. What time is on your computer clocks, by the way? I think mine is broken. Anyway, my clerk is like, Poor. Poor poor. And I’m a huge asshole. I knew theoretically that the minimum wage and the living wage are not the same, but I never really thought about the effects of that, I didn’t want to think about it, but I am now! I’m beyond an asshole, I’m a piece of shit!
This family, they’re struggling so much and they have so many other problems and I’ve kept them living on a pitiful salary. One of their children is sick. I don’t know exactly what it is, but it’s bad and it’s getting worse. There is a treatment that could help him, but it’s expensive and they can’t afford it, his parents know they can’t afford it, and if he doesn’t get it… I don’t know how long this kid has left. He’s the sweetest little boy and he might not even grow up. These parents love their kids with everything they have, but they can’t fix this. But! But I’m right here! I’ve been right here with all this money all this time, and I never bothered to ask about his family or care or help. It would have been so easy. I wish I’d realised all of this years earlier. I’m such a piece of shit. But I still have time and a plenty of money. I’m going to help. I’ll do everything I can. I promise.
Also, I am sorry for my replies to some of your comments on my original post. I was spiteful and insensitive. I’ve been… very angry for a very long time, more at the world in general than anything else, and in the habit of taking it out on whoever I could. I need to stop that. I’ll add it to the list. Consider those replies redacted. Once again, thank you for your feedback and goodnight. Merry Christmas. I hope you get enough sleep if you’re awake in my time zone at this hour.
update
do you ever think about how we’re all going to die? we could all die at any moment. we never know when we never know how much time we get and that’s why life is sososo precious and you have to use it wisely. but i have not! done that! i’m old i could die any day now. i could die today and what would i have to show? for my entire great big life? loads of money i’m never gonna use? i always thought that how much of something you had was about how you spent it. money and time. what you get is what you give or deserve. but it’s not! it’s mostly just luck and other people. most rich people are just born rich already. then it’s easy to get richer from there. i wasn’t born rich not really but i had a lot of help, a good school, a good boss, my friend, and now that i am rich i do less work for more money. it’s not fair. i’ve fucked up so much for so long and yet i have so much money and i’ve had so much time and i’ve wasted both of them. i don’t need all that money in the first place but that’s what i’ve spent my whole life on, why? what’s the point?
and then on the other hand you have the fact that. children are dying right now. whenever you’re reading this. loads and load of them all over when they don’t have to. fucking kids. and innocent people good people amazing people who are happy who make people happy who use their time infinitely better than i have don’t earn any reward. they don’t get any justice. most people have less than they need and meanwhile so many bastards have so much more. why? what’s the point of it?
why is it like this? why is the world like this? like we waste so much food and water and money so why don’t we just give it to poor people if we’re not going to use it? why do you have to pay for it if there’s so much why can’t? and like rent why do people have to pay rent? why can’t you just live somewhere? or medicine why do you have to pay for that? it’s. it’s life! why do we have to pay for LIFE when you don’t choose to be born? it’s not right.
and i know that there are laws and politics deciding those big things. but we can still make it better right? we can make a difference can’t we? even though there are so many massive problems like poverty and war and hunger and so many people who aren’t helping when they could. it still matters right? being good. even though you’re just one person. right?
why do kids have to die when they don’t have to die
it’s not fair. it’s not fair
i’m sorry. i shouldn’t even be posting this. it’s just venting and rambling and it probably doesn’t make any sense. i swear to god i’m not drunk or high i’m just having a really weird night. it’s like i’ve shut out a million things over decades and tonight they’re all flooding in at once.
i just. i feel like i’m dying and i need to get these thoughts out of my head. i need to know that they’re real and i’m real and i’m alive. i need to know that it matters.
i’m sorry. i’m so sorry.
UPDATE!
MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!!!!!!!!!!!! I am not dead and I don’t think I’m crazy, I honestly feel the best I have in ages, and I will not elaborate on last night because that’ll only raise more questions but I will say this! I paid for my clerk’s Christmas dinner and I’m gonna give him a gigantic raise! I also donated a fuckton to charity! Thank you all so much I love you!!!!!
Update:
Happy Boxing Day, everyone. After that rollercoaster, I thought I ought to formally conlude this strange saga. My clerk came back to work this morning and I gave him his raise and a profound apology, as well as paid leave until a couple of days after New Year’s. To call him surprised would be an understatement. It was very fun. I totally understand if he chooses to get a new job now, but I hope we keep in touch. He’s a wonderful person. And I’d like to know if his son will be okay.
Although I haven’t got far yet (I’ve been catching up with family, I was the asshole there too, but no need to dump that baggage on you now that it’s being resolved), I am planning to make some major reforms to my business strategies. I’ve lowered rent on my properties to something affordable, for a start. I’m also researching charities and community projects. I have a great deal of moral debt to redeem. You can make a difference and I’m gonna prove it.
Many thanks for your support and concern, and rest assured that I’m in about as good health as I can be at this age, with the caveat of a mild hangover after a Christmas party. Turns out I like parties. I am processing that… ah, crisis, and I have people who care about me and a strong resolve to ground me. I will look into therapy.
I wish you all the best. I meant it, so I’ll repeat it: I love you. And my old friend, if you’re reading this wherever you are now, thank you for that intervention. It was worth it. I hope you’re doing better and we can talk again someday.
16 notes · View notes
sunlit-mess · 7 months ago
Note
Hello, I hope it's not rude but I'm REALLY REALLY fond of your art!!!!! I was scrolling through your blog from new to old and found that you have Bpd,,,. I only heard about this condition, what is it like? If it's ok to know,,,!
hello, thank u! uhm it's something? HAHAHAHA idk how to explain it 😭🏳 lemme try to be as direct as possible
I'm high-functioning, but there are points I seriously just start showing symptoms.
Emotions: INTENSE as it can get while FEELING 99 PERCENT EMPTY. Something just- keeps you so.. hungry (not literally). Sensory is also another factor, and honestly I burn out a lot, tend to get overwhelmed n meltdown like shit
Identity: I either have BEEF WITH it, feel GODLY, or be so LOW, really low. I live with both passion and hate. I'm very confused. But I can say I'm just tired!
Attachments: Relationships are so hard to maintain bc of how much I fear abandonment, like bro I can't even leave my family as much as I want to. I'm more scared of getting disowned or losing my name. Love is a concept I long to grasp at the same time scared of it, I don't understand jackshit about " love ".
> I tend to self-Isolate with or without reason
> ...I used to test other people whether they can handle me or not, whether they'd leave or not. Not anymore though, but the thought lingers.
> Very- paranoid- about.. perception, neglect and invalidity HAHA.
Mindset: They call it Black and White, or generally just two categories to label my perception of things. However, I try to understand AS MUCH AS I CAN about a situation, etc. See what's in-between before I decide. that's really hard for me to do LOL.
> I always do my best to think and be nice
> I can be so fucking bad at the same time, only to regret it the next second or so
> My mind is scattered all over the place, It's exhausting
Trauma: I have memory problems and a lot to connect with that. Hate and fear is what I'm accustomed to. I live with a fuck ton of active predicaments like hell. Old wounds keeps reopening, and new ones never closes.
Impulse: shows in speech more than in action (THANK GOD LMAO I'D DIE IF I LET MY INTRUSIVE THOUGHTS WIN)
Habits: uhm. Ranging from sunshine and rainbows to SELF-DESTRUCTIVE. I get obsessive, like.. really obsessive.
Coping mechanisms: Usually I have mood stabilizers and anti-depressants n shit, but I don't rely on them anymore (bc I can't keep buying). I don't have good coping mechanisms even for physical needs. It's so bad bro. So I just end up drawing. that's the only good one I can list.
Living with it: Exhausting and an internal war 24/7. Does it affect me physically? Yes. Does it come with other mental factors and conditions? Also yes! But as one of God's most tired soldiers, nothing I can do but keep walking.
What I'm confused about: dawg last time, i kept searching about how conditions co exists like— Thats normal?? N the last diagnosis I was in confirms it does and nothing to worry about. BLUD I AM DEF WORRYING. Autism n bpd? u mean my behavior and shit isnt meant to be invalid as most people perceive — u mean these fckass experiences built that bpd? ☠️ WHAT AM I THEN—
(I'm having a hard time believing it bc as an adult, it's harder to process information like these)
73 notes · View notes
bucephaly · 1 year ago
Text
It's kinda shocking to me how few people seem to know how prevalent the 'my great grandmother was cherokee' myth is and how it's almost never actually true, especially when it comes with things like 'never signed up' or 'fell off the trail' or 'courthouse burned down destorying the documentation' etc etc.
People just don't even seem to know the history like.. when the Trail happened. My great great great grandfather was 2 years old during Removal in 1838, so peoples 'my great grandmother hid in the mountains!' is so clearly wrong. And we have rolls. From before and after removal, rolls done by cherokee nation and others by the government, rolls that were not stored in one random flammable courthouse. It's not difficult to find the actual evidence of ancestry.
And just.. there are lots of ways those family stories get started. It was a practice during the confederacy to claim cherokee ancestry to show one's family had 'deep roots in the south' that they were there before the cherokee were removed. Many people pretended to be cherokee and applied for the Guion-Miller payout just to try to steal money meant for cherokees - 2/3rds of the applicants were denied for having 0 proof of actual cherokee ancestry. [We even see lawyers advertising signing up for the Miller roll just to try to get free money.] And the myth even started in some families in the cherokee land lotteries, where the land stolen from us was raffled off, including the house and everything that was left behind when the cherokees were removed. We have seen people whose families just take these things stolen from the cherokee family and adopt them into their own family story, saying that they were cherokee themselves.
If you had some family story about being cherokee and you wanna have proof one way or the other, check out this Facebook group run by expert cherokee genealogists that do research for free. Just please read the rules fully and respect the researchers. They run thousands of people's ancestries a year and their average is only around 0.7% of lines they run actually end up having true cherokee ancestry.
#and ive heard even dumber origins of the cherokee family myth#such as an ancestor having a silly sounding name so the descendents just go 'oh she mustve been an indian!!!'#i was one of the few people who had my ancestry done on the facebook and had genuine cherokee ancestry#[though i had found it before it was just really validating to get it double checked and i started finding cousins (:]#like. i was told once when i was a kid by my grandma that my dad had cherokee ancestry and i didnt believe her. its wild that so many peopl#will make it a Fixture of their identity [or even just smth they bring up ever] with Zero proof#at least for cherokees from what ive seen its usually considered really disrespectful to claim to have cherokee ancestry without#actually having the documentation [like ancestors on the rolls]#and no a dna test doesnt count. nor does 'my dad is Clearly not white!' or 'high cheekbones' or old family photos or anything#i had this discussion with someone recently whose dad had been calling himself 3/4 native but didnt know exactly what nation ???? hello?#and its like... sorry but ur dad is like. italian lol.#[and blood quantum is bullshit anyway im tired of the 'im 1/16 cherokee' comments its dumb#cherokee nation does not have a blood quantum requirement. its pointless bringing it up in the discussion of who is or isnt cherokee]#also mandatory disclaimer that im reconnecting. i didnt grow up connected to the culture of even knowing my ancestry#this is all from my looking into this stuff over the past year or so. i cant claim to be an authority over anything regarding this#this is p much all my repeating things ive heard said by people who know a lot more than i do haha#man. and this isnt even starting to get into the fake tribe stuff. the only legit cherokee groups are the 3 federally recognized bands#cherokee nation of oklahoma. united keetoowah band. and the eastern band of cherokee indians.#any others that are state recognized or not at all arent acknowledged as legitimate by any of the legit cherokee groups#anyway. my final message goodb.ye#cherokee#tsalagi
504 notes · View notes
rainbow-starheart · 20 hours ago
Note
Well hello again,Sunshine! I see your back with block evading
Oh my stars, I see where you're coming from, but I just want to clear a few things up real quick. Being aro is a valid identity, and I personally feel that it's something that’s been close to my heart, no matter how others label it. I respect how people want to identify, but I believe in letting everyone define themselves!
As for the "queer" umbrella, it can mean a lot of things to different people, and that's totally fine! It’s all about what feels right for you, just like with me and my wonderful friends. And I gotta say, there’s no need to jump to conclusions or assume anything about others, especially when we’re all here to support each other.
Now, here’s the thing— I've been noticing some things that go a bit beyond friendly debate, and well, I've had a lot of friends report some very concerning behavior. They’re all wonderful, and I don’t want to see any of them hurt. So, to make sure everyone stays safe and sound, I've let the right people know.
You might not realize it yet, but actions have consequences, and I’m just here, keeping it light, keeping it fair, and keeping it fun, y’know? The staff team is working on things, and well... sometimes the stars do align when you least expect it! I wonder what they'll do to you soon? I heard they make limitless access to impassable paths
Take care of yourself, alright? You can always talk things out with kindness and respect. I’m all about that sunshine positivity!
But just a heads-up... sometimes, it’s best not to keep digging when the universe is already making its moves.
Sorry I need to rant to someone about this but fuckin how DARE shoo be like "antis are misusing therapy methods" bc they misquoted/misused how fear exposure works in one comment and it was bugging me so much. Much of the fiction people are talking about are sexualized. Even in the best case where the excuse is "I just think lolis are cute"... that is almost never the goal to even normalize that kind of thing. Sometimes the person isn't even prepared to normalize that kind of thing. This is not even beginning to dig in with them co-opting political language in order to make people feel bad. Yo I think people are treating you badly because you're ✨✨block evading ✨✨ and explicitly against the rules in like. 99% of websites. i may be terminally online but for once it is NOT THAT DEEP.
I 100% agree with you. I'm a bit frustrated with Shoo myself. How are proshippers gonna complain when antis come after them, but still bitch about it when we keep to our own by setting boundaries? It just doesn't make any sense at all!
Shoo is no exception. All he's doing is proving our point. If someone blocks me, I wouldn't make over a thousand alt accounts just to be blocked over and over again. Doesn't he ever get tired? Doesn't he have a life outside of the internet?
It's not that deep, bro!
Sorry, I also had to let that out.
36 notes · View notes
faaun · 4 months ago
Text
ok let's catch up quickly
#so i went on a few dates w this guy. long hair beautiful face kinda looked like a girl (good) said yes ma'am when i told him to do smth#(also good) film student great at photography including candids. made a sheath of leather for a sword pin i have . et cetera.#he asked to cuddle and i was like iggg and then i felt Nothing and i was like ohhh yh ok ok yep lesbian#like he meets almost all my criteria but. yeahhh no . also at the end of that date he had some weird takes. anyway broke up w him and told#him actually im p sure im a lesbian (again) and he was like yk thats the second time this has happened to me this week but its ok bc ive#fallen for this girl from berlin. and then we cooked together. anyway . met a beautiful butch lowk in love w her. weve been on (1) date.#have two exams in a few days havent studied enough going to like end it all basically. my research partner kicked me off our research#(expected(it was always skinda sketchy)) which was devastating + it happened in a lidl 15 hours into a journey from bordeaux#to go back to the UK. my friends were kinda busy paying for baguettes but also they heard this whole exchange and are kinda mad at him#my friend of 10+ years is coming over in a few days. my evil ex situationship person that i decided to stay friends w because i kept#insisting they are a good friend and not evil and also extremely beautiful? turns out shockingly enough they were evil. tried to fix them#and then i realised due to their entire friendship group being ppl like me (Every Single One of their friends are ppl they met on dating#apps then led on then dumped and proposed staying friends w) and are collectively extremely attracted to them and not over them they#keep validating the most diabolical shit they say/do to hace a chance w them. they broke up w their ex and the way they keep leading#this poor girl on and making her heartbeeak worse and saying that they want more power over her and want her to beg for them back etc...MY#JAW HAD DROPPED esp bc i didnt even know the ex was in the picture BECAUSE ME AND ONE OF OUR FRIENDS (that they also dated) HAD JUSR SLEPT#NAKED TOGETHER IN THEIR BED W THEM. GIRL. anyway that is the least of the diabolical stuff they said but no we are moving onnn#this was b4 the beautiful butch btw. anyways . i have a mitski concert tmrw i think?? idek anymore#i used to have a crush on this guy very briefly and then it disappeared and then i realised if he fundementally changed everything abt#himself then maybe id like him but ofc i didnt tell him that but i still think abt it sometimes but anyway thats irrelevant now bc 99% sure#even if he did id still not find him attractive (lesbianism). please recommend good overnight moisturisers btw i have super dry skin#right. the friend of 10 yrs. we had a hard convo abt why she essentially bullied me in year 8 and it made me highly bitter but i also love#her and ik things are diff now its been like . Many Years . and shes going to stay a while I HAVE TWO EXAMS I DONT HAVE TIME but i love her#its fine. i think i might just switch into medicine and do the whole become a neurosurgeon thing (which was my plan B) bc plan A is looking#kinda impossible rn. I WANNA TALK MORE ABT WHAT THE EX SITUATIONSHIP PERSON SAID but i wont bc i dont wanna be too mean but also . MY GOD#i had a conversation w a philosopher friend about whether i have a moral responsibility to try to fix them bc unleashing this on society#feels wrong and he said 'probably but...run' so yeah im not talking to them atm. second date w beautiful butch on monday btw IDK WHAT TO#WEAR. she said she likes fems. im just gonna wear the shortest ralph lauren skirt i have w the cute leg warmers and hope 4 the best#its 1:15 AM im abt to drink coffee and start studying bc what the FUCK man. also almost finished watching the boys its very good#one of my best friends is struggling rn it is breaking my heart i want to take the burden from her i miss her very much
16 notes · View notes
thedrotter · 8 months ago
Text
Re:Kinder Fun fact time!! Did you know? 😊
Yuuichi's theme song (the one that often accompanies his entrances with "Vamos Cantar!"), 新しい夏のナナ, is not in any latin language such as Spanish or Portuguese, despite its lyrics sounding as such. It's actually in Hanamogera, which to put it simply is nonsense speech based on japanese syllables. So the song's lyrics are essentially gibberish meant to imitate the sound of latin music! 😊
It is listed as such in the source site for the song, oo39.com, where the song can be found as "YS068" in the hanamogera category.
Additional fun fact! The song can also be found in Spotify as Vien Nana by Oo39.com themselves alongside a few other select songs from the site. So you can properly enjoy the song on the platform without having to import it from your local files.
Those are the fun Re:Kinder related fun facts for today... Use them to entertain your friends at parties ! ☺️
#re:kinder#not art#now tiny storytime in the tags!!! 😊...#what prompted me to look into this months ago was the fact i genuinely thought it was in spanish at first#AS A SPANISH NATIVE SPEAKER. I HEARD THIS SONG VAGUELY AND WAS LIKE... WOW... i wonder what it says!#because i thought i didnt understand it as i was mostly paying attention to the text or because of my computer's speaker#plugged headphones in and heard carefully... i didnt understand anything. but it sounded just like it i was so confused#for a second i wondered if it was portuguese but there was no way it was because even then i would have known😭#the magic of knowing either language of spanish (at least latin spanish) and portuguese is it makes the other very recognizable#this was not it looked for the opinions of other latin speaking language people THEY DID NOT UNDERSTAND A THING#and thats how i ended up looking into the source and finding this out 😊#i was very pleasantly surprised to see it was gibberish because IM NOT SURE HOW TO EXPRESS TO YOU ITS VERY GOOD#VERY WELL DONE GIBBERISH SO WELL DONE IT MAKES A PROPER SENTENCE AT ONE POINT#gibberish so well done it fooled native speakers into thinking it was their own languages . so good im so obsessed with this#i had to share this fun fact eventually somrwhere other than yourjbe comments#and i remembered i could acrually speak here about the game and not only post art of it teehee😊#so thats your awesome fun fact micht also drop more if im confident in doing so and their validity because theres more tbat are in japanese#and im trying to figure em out watch as i study the inner workings of a language so i dont have to learn how to actually speak it#(i love conlangs so this is a good excuse)
10 notes · View notes
b4um3pfl4um3 · 9 months ago
Text
Tumblr media
So, today is apparently dooms day in my area. Big black smoke pillar and the epicenter isn't even 5 kilometers away from me. The fire is in an industrial district, and apparently, there were also explosions that even I could hear in my room. There is also a waring that due to fire gas/fumes, all windows should remain locked, and within 1 kilometer of the area, you are even in immediate danger and should evacuate entirely.
The smoke pillar is spreading over my entire skyline and doesn't seem to be ending anytime soon. At least it got a bit thinner again, but I guess due to the explosions, even the firefighters can't get too close. The craziest part is that the police unite dispatched is the unite that my sister currently does an internship for, but her shift luckily ended before she arrived there. Also, my dad is just ignoring all the warnings and is currently casually walking towards the fire, which honestly baffles me because he is currently staying at home because he had a minor stroke recently.
Tumblr media
This is the picture he sent me after I asked him if he was still outside cause I couldn't find him anywhere im the house.
It is staring to slightly rain, so maybe that will help with the fire, but I'll doubt it's enough rain for that.
A video I took, translating for my non german folk: "Over there is the beginning of the smoke pillar... and uhm...., yeah." And as you can see, the smoke really spread across the sky.
You can also see the smoke quite far from here, I asked some friends that live in the area but not as close, and they can also see it and also got the fumes waring.
This was definitely not on my bingo card for today....
10 notes · View notes
medicinemane · 8 months ago
Text
.
#I get tired of people trying to explain what lens I should view the world through; what way I could think that would make everything better#forgive me but I don't care; I do what I do and I do what I can and you don't see the work I do under the hood#I don't want advice on self validation or whatever; I want... I want someone to hold a mirror up so I can actually see myself#by which I mean I want input on how I'm doing; if it's good enough; if it's worth anything; if anything I make is good#everyone things I'm nice; everyone has always thought I'm nice#but given nice leaves me profoundly isolated I don't think I care#not to mention in my opinion what nice in this instance means is that I'm capable of listening#it's mostly that I have manners rather than some quality about me#I'm well behaved and polite and can listen; and that's perceived as nice or even sweet#and it's not like I'm offended by people seeing me that way; but maybe you can get why... I can't do anything with that information#but if I'm doing enough... if I provide any value to the world... I might have heard that less times in my life than years I've lived#that's where I'm totally blind#people don't tend to offer any input; and also people don't tend to let me know what they're thinking#and I in fact am not a mind reader; I can often accurately infer things; but no of that means a thing till it's confirmed#and... well... hopefully no one reads the stupid shit I say and especially not the tags so this is safe and hidden#but truthfully people just like to hear that stuff they're doing is wanted and matters#and I do not#I don't know... gotta go do more cleaning cause I need to#and I have no idea if... I've got a reason for fighting so hard to clean; but I get very little input so... I expect... well...#and thankfully I don't think they read my tags so I can say this#but I really expect they won't take me up on my offer to come out here and get away from their parents; so there will be no pay off#not that I blame them in the slightest... it's just the only possible pay off for this cleaning would be helping someone I like out#and a scrap of company#but then again... in many ways anyone coming out to live with me is the worst thing they could probably do#sorry... I have a rather bleak outlook on many things surrounding myself purely cause of what I infer from the past#there is never pay off; only more shit I need to get done#I will never be loved; I will never be wanted; I will always just kinda be an afterthought that's occasionally worth venting to#no one will ever be particularly interested in anything I'm interested while I'll chase their interests or at least try to#certainly let them talk about them when they want#...though I take that over my normal total isolation... better to at least be permitted to follow in someone's shadow than have nothing
5 notes · View notes
twotales · 1 year ago
Text
Listen, I write for myself. If y'all wanna show up to the puppet show then come on in, but I don't need an audience.
#I think it's pretty obvious considering my pairings that idgf#getting love from people is a bonus#I know this has all been said to death but people still need to hear it#you can't just expect or demand love#it doesn't work like that#love yourself love your passions and your work#and eventually someone might send you some love too#I believe in a lot of cases the lack of feedback or “love” may be caused by not marketing your work#when I was active in discord and posting my fics there I got a lot more feedback than just posting to ao3 or tumblr#I honestly do believe it's a bit unfair to expect people to give you validation - validation is lovely but you shouldn't expect it#I haven't met a single person who has given a comment on every fic they enjoyed nor have I ever expected my friends to read all my stuff#not to mention strangers#imagine if every person expected that? exhausting#I think it's more fair to expect people to at least enjoy their own work to the point where the feedback doesn't matter#and if you absolutely want feedback then YOU yes YOU need to actively reach out for feedback - find a beta or space to discuss with others#I even heard that people are refusing to finish works because of bad comments#um ok? why?#because it demotivated you is what I'll be told#well that sucks but if it does and you stop doesn't it mean that person sort of won?#they demotivated you. they stopped you. they defeated you. shut down your fic. the thing that THEY didn't like#and of course that is totally your decision#but what about the readers who are enjoying it? ones who may not be even saying anything? or even future readers!#I have commented on fics from like 2010 and GOT RESPONSES - so don't discount those future readers - some may not have even been born yet!#like yeah these stories are for me#but I still want to throw the puppet show#because I love doing this and maybe#someone else will too#but I don't need to know about it#twotalestalks
2 notes · View notes
neverendingford · 26 days ago
Text
.
#tag talk#had another great interaction today at work.#a customer called in and was like “I. have. a. brain. injury. so. I. speak. really. slowly. and. I. need. you. to. speak. slowly. as. well.”#so anyway we had a nice and slow conversation about what she needed and she went off on tangents about her story and injury#and about how it had affected her life and how her family was really shitty about the disability and super invalidating about it#and anyway it brightened my day cause the kind of disability empathy I've learned on here came into play even just in our conversation#idk. I love making connections with people and I love communication and the empathy links that we naturally form between people#ultimately it was a net zero in terms of her actual issue and she was planning on coming in person anyway#but I'm glad I got to have that interaction and get to know her even just a little bit.#not giving too much information because even though I'm not in healthcare rn hipaa is still wired into my brain#and part of maintaining and respecting dignity is not sharing someone else's information#but it was a joy to talk to her and she seemed to really appreciate it as well.#rip the rest of my department cause we got a line right as I hopped on the phone and it was a half hour conversation so they got slammed#but I had a good time at least.#it reminds me that I really want to get back into healthcare because that's the kind of thing that really makes me happy.#taking care of people and being there when they need to talk and be heard.#I also had a phone call where my dept. supervisor didn't handle it well and she ended up crying and needing to go take a break#and the customer called in again and I got her and like. idk what it is but I just disarm angry customers really easily.#so she was very aggressive at first but ended up being very pleasant with me by the end.#idk what it is but a coworker even mentioned it because we were talking about getting bad customers#and I was like what are you guys talking about all my customers are really nice even the grumpy ones are nice to me#and she was like “I don't know what it is but mean customers turn nice when you deal with them”#and that's just so validating. having someone else comment on my ability to communicate to even angry people.#my ability to bring someone else over to my way of thinking. the ability to go over to someone else's way of thought and then work with them#conflict resolution is collaborative. it's not just a battle of wills. it's about explanation and compromise and bending not breaking#I love people. they're beautiful and stupid and charming and everyone has their own divine spark.#idk. I'm a hopeless optimist even when I'm depressed and angry I can't help but love people.#anyway. thanks for being the void I yell into.
0 notes
thebigqueer · 4 months ago
Note
Your breakup really really reminds me of my first (and only) wlw relationship/breakup everything you're saying hits home a lot. You will get through it but tbh it's so hard to heal and it still grinds my gears when I think about her and how we broke up. Idk if that helps but I understand what you're going though
YEAH MAN ITS TOUGH OUT HERE FR!!! its not my first queer relationship but like something about this is genuilnely the most world-shattering romantic experience ive had cuz we went into this soooo head over heels for each other like we were literally moving SO fast. and at the time i was like is it ok for us to even be moving this fast (probs tmi but we were literally making out shirtless by like 2nd time we even made out) (probs not a big deal to most people but i experienced a LOT of new things with her that id never experienced befoer & the fact that i was so WILLING to do it so fast was what surprised me the most) but then i was like okk whateverrr i really like how fast we're moving. and i was like 'damn if were moving this fast & if im feeling so good it has to end soon right like theres no way life is going to let me just be happy w this' and then i was like 'no elts not think about it' and then what do you know 5 months later she brekas up w me. and neither of us did anything wrong but it was so random??? like i dont understand how one moment shes telling me how excited she is to spend the entire semester with me and then literally 36 hours later tell me shes not feeling an emotional connection but wont even give us the chance to work it out. i know she also broke it off for personal reasons but its like... this was something we could have TRIED to work out you know!!! maybe it wouldnt have worked in the end but literally nothing felt off to me at all & if id known she was feeling this way i wouldve done my best to make things better. the entire breakup was so sudden and honestly im really not mad at her because i know how nerve-wracking it is to be in your first relationship. i think its just that im really dispapointed she gave up on us so easily you know??? didnt even give us a chance to figure it out
#sorry you didnt ask for a rant but man im not even going to lie the main reason i even rant about this on tumblr is cuz its so much easier#than talking to my friends#not cuz theyre not kind & underestanding and stuff. i mean just generally ive always been better at saying things by writing anonymously#like i never cry on my friends but this was the first time ive ever done that and even then#every time i tell someone i broke up with her i generally dont feel anything i feel like im just retelling a story#other than that one time i cried on my firend#like its just so much easier ranting on tumblr than telling my friends. also if eel really bad ranting to my friends#cuz i know they care abou tme but also like how much of 'i want her back' are they going to take yk??#every time i get tipsy i start complaining about how much i miss her and these past few weeknds my friends have heard an earful of tipsy me#like i jstu dont wnat to burden them like that#but yeah anyway. i feel you anon this shit is so hard#and i feel like the other thing is when its a hetero-presenting relationship friends find it easier to be like 'fuck him / her!!'#and obviously thats not always going to make the person feel better cuz EVERYONE is complex but in a way its nice feeling that support from#friends. but my dating experiences have always been queer and i feel so guilty any time someone says 'fuck them! youre out of their league'#because like the thing about queer dating is i feel so much more understood and it all feels so much more intimate#and when you cant even get a 'fuck them' from your friends it just feels so alienating in a way#idk how to explain it#obviuosly if the ex is a cheater then its valid to be 'fuck them' but in my case none of them have cheated & theyre both very copmlex peopl#weve all done probelmatic things to each other yk#i think its just like. how am i suposed to get over her when our relationship doesnt feel like it should have ended at all#like it was NOT our time!!! NOTHING felt off or wrong or anything!! i thought we were really happy!!#i think she broke it off in part because she was afraid of the moment things went wrong but man this hurts much worse#cuz at least if things started going wrong it would make SENSE to break it off. but BEFORE things go wrong? this pain just feels unnecessar#anyway heres to hoping my insta stories trying to look hot convince her that she messed up and she should totally date me again#and well live happily ever after for at least a few more months#anon tag#asks
0 notes
myheartxmyman · 7 months ago
Text
While I am losing time with writing of you, of us, you are adding once again new people. Feels like the never ending story. Meanwhile my mind is directly split between two possibilities. First 'oh wow seems like he was working late and met some new people/someone new' and the second is 'oh, we haven't seen each other in quite some time so now he's feeling the urge of getting what he wants from somewhere else. One way is going to work at a place where he could meet someone at that time of night, second is hes alone in his bed getting himself of to the women with high potential, girls he came to notice and somehow never seems to forget. Females who are living 'next door', but also the cheapest influencer bitches, oh and sometimes the best of both.. A combination of a wanna be hn influencer with more naked skin shown than fetish clothing on.
#my thoughts of you are sometimes kinda 'polluted'#sadly I wasn't the person who started this pollution#yes it's my brain they are my thoughts I should control them#but the same shit again and again and again until I got asked what is going on and if I know about that#the worst part is actually the amount of times it happened again#my trust got damaged by the first mere 'act' but saying you're gonna stop and doing it anyway broke it#and my heart aswell#I don't trust you anymore when it comes to other females#not at all#when hope and love are gone I guess this is moving on#02:02#I do love you#but you are not you anymore#I am desperatly searching for the man I love in a often familiar strangers face#I don't recognize you at times#and the way you behaved and treated me doesn't help at all#all this pain that was NOT the man I love#these wounds are deep so deep#want to let this pain go#don't know how#but it's so unbelievable hard for me being talking and seeing you when these wounds are a hundred percent active#I don't want to be resentful as fuck towards you#because right now we have to get it together or I don't think we will ever get back what we fulicly (?) damaged to the core#we both need to feel respected heard seen safe secure understood or at least ACCEPTED AND VALIDATED#calm peaceful soft#with a tone of voice that's low and compassionate not judging not angry not blaming#without feeling a hundred percent safe to open up I won't do it#as sad as it is but those last months showed me too often what is to much for me#what drains and damages me enormously
0 notes
foggysilverfeathers · 7 months ago
Text
Fake HC 10 dashboard mayhaps??
0 notes
Tumblr media
☀️ pearlescent-post Follow
Reminder to love yourself! Smell the trees! Everything will be okay in the end 😊 ☀️
☀️ pearlescent-post Follow
nvm gem ran out of pickles im depressed again
🐟 gemstone Follow
I RESTOCKED THIS MORNING HOW HAVE YOU ALREADY SOLD ME OUT
☀️ pearlescent-post Follow
Tumblr media
1,930 notes
Tumblr media
🎣 mending-book-fanatic Follow
day 126 without a mending book
27 notes
Tumblr media
🚂 scars-axasqottles Follow
uM hey @.hpo-official could i ask why you havent' received my messages?/? Every calsl Ive made just puts me on holdd
⬜️ hpo-official-948204deactivated
Sorry about that, sir. Admin error. I'll speak to my manager.
🚂 scars-axasqottles Follow
...hELLO?
🌸 joel-beans Follow
lmao they deactivated what a loser
🎣 mending-book-fanatic Follow
Remember there's a person behind every poor worker! I see you bullies in the notes
🐟 gemstone Follow
@/mending-book-fanatic is a hermit permit office spy confirmed??
2,441 notes
Tumblr media
🌸 joel-beans Follow
Guys everyone agrees that purpur is cheap and beautiful and godlike and everyone should go buy it right now this second *sweats*
🌲 supreme-judge-bd Follow
I feel like I'm missing something...
🌸 joel-beans Follow
SHE HAS EYES EVERYWHERE BDUBS
☀️ pearlescent-post Follow
Joel!
🌸 joel-beans Follow
If I don’t respond within the hour assume she got me
133 notes
Tumblr media
🎩 symmetrical-minister Follow
anyone know a good shop for ethically-sourced wood?? i normally shop at big wood but ive heard things about a mafia :/
🪓 big-salmon Follow
That is absolutely NOT true!! If anything you should be targeting the crypto scheme at Big Wood,,
⌛️ d0ctorm77 Follow
aaaand this is why you should never trust businessmen in red suits
🪓 big-salmon Follow
says the one compensating with a massive HOURGLASS of all things
🐍 puppet-master Follow
Actually @.big-salmon Xisuma_voyd made a really well-explained video here going into detail about all of the shady elements of Big Wood, it's worth a watch.
🐟 gemstone Follow
To answer the original question OP here are some safer (privately owned!) shops :)
Gem's Moss Shop (azaleas for sale which can be bonemealed)
Bdub's Bamboo Shop (bamboo wood is a good eco-friendly alternative to your typical spruce or oak)
The Purr-purr bus (if you're okay with having slightly more exotic trees, from the End)
Hope this helped! <3
⌛️ d0ctorm77 Follow
Why would you pay diamonds for less when you could just pay a few grains of sand for the best quality wood in the shopping district? You people confuse me
🌲 supreme-judge-bd Follow
actually the Purr-purr bus isn't ethical at all!! ive heard they blackmail people into giving them sails!!!
🐟 gemstone Follow
*sales
🌲 supreme-judge-bd Follow
SHUDDUP
☀️ pearlescent-post Follow
:(
2,750 notes
Tumblr media
🎣 mending-book-fanatic Follow
day 131 without a mending book
34 notes
Tumblr media
🎣 mending-book-fanatic Follow
day 164 without a mending book
🐍 puppet-master Follow
Grian you know you can get free mending books at the cat cafe right
🎣 mending-book-fanatic Follow
it's not the same
🎣 mending-book-fanatic Follow
I need to be able to smell the breath of the sea between its sodden pages
🎣 mending-book-fanatic Follow
continue along the same path and you'll soon be facing villager unions
2,316 notes
Tumblr media
🔥 tongo-tak Follow
Friendly reminder that not everyone wakes up at 2am, so please tag your Pearldle spoilers for at least a few hours!!
☀️ pearlescent-post Follow
skill issue tbh
1,102 notes
Tumblr media
🇸🇪 death2diorite85 Follow
hallo how flirt with pretty girl time sensitive question
🌺 git-gorgeous Follow
sell them something
🔥 tongo-tak Follow
bribe diamonds
🐍 puppet-master Follow
kill them
🇸🇪 death2diorite85 Follow
okay will do!!!!
🇸🇪 death2diorite85 Follow
wait
2,989 notes
Tumblr media
🐍 puppet-master Follow
Happy pride month to lgbtqia+ people of all ages, genders and sexualities, you're all so valid and so loved <3 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️ ❤🧡💛💚💙💜
🐟 gemstone Follow
<3
⌛️ d0ctorm77 Follow
I'm making a rainbow beacon for pride, come look for it! i'll be with it by my husband @ renthedog's hole all week
⌛️ d0ctorm77 Follow
*HOLE
⌛️ d0ctorm77 Follow
*HOME
⌛️ d0ctorm77 Follow
WAIT I ACCIDENTALLY TAGGED IT
🐾 renthedog Follow
um.
2,655 notes
Tumblr media
🌸 joel-beans Follow
etho is just kakashi on maple syrup send post
🌸 joel-beans Follow
almost forgot to add important additional difference! etho is also obsessed with me
1,113 notes
3K notes · View notes
mxleedy · 29 days ago
Text
i love this show so much cries
the last episode in review for inanimate insanity EVER!!!!
as always, SPOILERS FOR EPISODE 18 OF INANIMATE INSANITY SEASON TWO!!!!!
holy shmowzow
this was a fantastic episode, such a fun and satisfying way to end everything off yknow
let’s get into it!!!!
Tumblr media
this first segment was heartbreaking.
seeing mephone reflect on everything he’s done and seeing the consequences of his actions was such an incredibly crafted sequence. his disassociation, his distance from what’s happening, it really shows how traumatic all this is for him. mephone has lost everyone he has ever loved, and he’s stuck with a man who has done nothing but demean and hurt him. he feels hopeless, and the song in this segment also gorgeously captures that.
his slow walk to the cliff edge, looking over everything he’s lost, only for cobs to pull him away? amazing, mephone’s not really there because there’s nothing to be there for, and cobs is trying to pull him back into reality.
Tumblr media
this idea of like a cloud in mephone after everyone was deleted was so interesting, like i get it was forshadowed and all but its so cool that its so non-linear too
anyway, BOX?? i’ll be real, i was always a box hater, and i’m glad to know that alive box is too. she’s actually such a cool character though and i totally love her. her and suitcase both having experiences with drowning was so interesting too, like okay i see you brown retangular characters who were somewhat meek but grew from that and also have had bad experienced with water.
also, ahem ahem, new suitcase ship?
also, just because i understand that tumblr has a photo limit, seeing mephone stand up to cobs by warning the prime shimmer was wonderful. he’s finally taking action to amend what he’d done. granted, it didn’t really work out, but what matters is that he tried right?
Tumblr media
i am so glad they canonically met
they’re two characters that have grown from their anger filled behaviour and (ultimately) end up making a sacrifice for the people they love. they’re also just violent idiots at some points, and i think that’s really great for them.
also, KNICKLE CRUMBS, 4s comforting knife after he expresses his upsetness about pickle ough my heart.
Tumblr media
now all of the hug scenes were very cute but WHAT.
this felt like a 35 minute payjay makeout scene because i was not expecting this. salt’s total freakout was hilarious too, alongside pepper’s awkward congratulations, though i can tell salt will NOT be coping well with the realisation of the guy she’s pining over being gay.
also, i’m not adding the photo for this one, but the starfruit and guava drama went crazy i loved it
Tumblr media
WAAAAAH
this was an incredible scene for mepad, because it really emphasises his core values. its clear that he adores the contestants, his actions since he’s arrived have made that very clear. but he’s also incredibly selfless, you have to be to make a sacrifice like that. he’s always seen potential in every character, and i think people forget that sometimes. he dislikes mephone because mephone doesn’t acknowledge the contestants’ efforts, and that he withholds information from them for his own benefit. he’s just such an incredible character
also, i’m honestly not all that surprised that the genocidal business ceo pulled out a branded knife to stab his creation, thats all i wanted to say.
Tumblr media
this is such a pivotal moment for knife.
it’s representative of his atonement for what he’s done wrong as a whole. he sacrificed his safety for someone who despised him due to what heMd done in the past. he was the type not to tolerate these kinds of people, and its just wonderful seeing him overcome such things and move forth yknow
Tumblr media
this was hilarious actually, also offering it up to mephone was insane
Tumblr media
knickle crumbs,,,,,,,,, i love them so much
also knife becoming a ghost was hilarious to me because i’m currently writing a fic about PICKLE being a ghost but oh well new au i guess??
Tumblr media
DO YOU SEE THESE LOOKS OK like you’re in love with him little buddy
also taco being petty about pickle’s forgiveness for mephone shows that she still has a really long way to go in terms of genuinely apologising, and i really hope she gets there eventually yknow
Tumblr media
this was overall a really sweet ending for a fantastic show, and i am so happy it ended the way it did. sure it was a little silly at points, but inanimate insanity always has been. a bug musical number featuring all the songs from episodes past just felt like the perfect way to finish up a show like this.
as someone who’s been watching this show since 2015, this ending meant a lot to me, because its an ending to a big part of my life as well (to a degree, i will not be ceasing posting). and i feel like this episode beautifully shows that yes the future’s unpredictable and unknown, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t keep going anyway. build your own future yknow!!
but yeah, this was fantastic, and words cannot express how grateful i am for inanimate insanity as a whole. thank you animation epic, for everything.
#cobs is such an asshat i hate him#box was such a jumpscare holy shit bro turned around and i was like OH MY FUCKING GOD WHAT#and then she started talking and i was in disbelief anyway#no fr suitcase and box being similar was so interesting#that whole sequence of suitcase in the water was so interesting#mephone standing up for the prime shimmer was actually great and it was so good to see him to do that man#4S AND KNIFE 4S AND KNIFE 4S AND KNIFE#no because i love this duo so much i didnt know i needed this#also knife punching 4S only to get clapped back harder was funny af LMAOO#okay ong i felt like that whole montage with all the duos reuniting was basically just confirming ships and feeding shippers LMAO#BUT ESPECIALLY PAYJAY??? LIKE???#THEY MIGHT AS WELL HAVE JUST MADE OUT THEN AND THERE BRO#THE BLUSH ON PAPER??? THE HAND HOLDING??? IT LOOKS LIKE OJ IS ABOUT TO PROPOSE ONG#also i hate to say it but salt would totally have a homophobic arc if the show continued LMAOOO#but that’s okay because it sets up perfectly for all the fanfics teehee#ong starfruit and guava drama was NOT on my bingo card but im eating it up#STOPPP MEPAD NOOOO#one of the best characters hands down#hate that he had to sacrifice himself#NO LITERALLY EVERYTIME I SAW THE BRANDED KNIFE I MENTALLY GIGGLED BECAUSE????#we stan knife he’s great#anyone up for some popcorn though like#that was insane to watch but so good and funny#cobs absolutely got what he deserved by getting blown up into popcorn by suitcase#knickle AAAAA knife being a ghost now gives so much potential for fanfics hehehe#while i do think taco has a long way to go i also think it was a valid response at that time to be petty LMAO id do the same ngl#also only mic heard her say that so it’s alright id say just as long as she knows its not really right#stop the big musical number had me in shambles like holy nostalgia and shit bro it had me sobbing waterfalls#in fact i think i cried at least 5 times during the episode so uhm yeah#ii s2 ep18
24 notes · View notes
corollaservant · 8 months ago
Text
Night in the Net // Shigaraki x f! reader (18+)
Tumblr media
Synopsis: You find yourself stranded in one hell of a sexist environment: the small town's internet café. Shigaraki's on the night shift. (3.6k)
Warnings: sex with Shiggy basically, mild degradation and misogyny from our fav incel, dom!Shiggy with a twist (no quirk obviously), use of “dollface” (i like it)
A/N: No dark themes here, peace n luv. Also.. yeah he is always linked to some gaming/electronic business ik!! but I like the trope/hc/almost canon.
You'd never imagine this was how your night would end.
Why are you there again? Right, your friends wanted to go to that after party, as if the club wasn't enough. What was supposed to be a night out ended up with you in the local internet café (the only after hours spot) while your friends decided to go to a house party with loud techno music, which definitely wasn’t your vibe. You and your friends lived close and would often call a taxi on your way home, money wasn’t enough for you to ride solo today though—you prayed in times like these that you at least had a job; you wouldn’t have to rely on anyone then. 
You knew pretty much everyone there, it’s not like the town had more than ten thousand residents and considering the age group and schools you’d all gone to, the internet café only had a few unknown members. On today’s shift was none other than Tomura of course, that guy was taking up as many shifts as his body would allow him to, apparently there was this rumor a family member was in crucial condition and they were in need. Tomura Shigaraki was one of these people you had branded as incel. Though hardworking (he kept a house of his own, cleaning and doing all chores by himself while providing for whomever he had), you still considered the guy as one. Now—you know the term is heavy, matter of fact, quite offending and serious as an allegation but it’s not like there weren’t rumors. Rumors he’d bash women and call them prostitutes, try to sleep with girls and trash them to his friends a day later, hating them for anything they did and claiming true love didn’t exist nowadays because “all women are sluts, who need money and validation.” Plus, he worked at the local internet café (should be enough reason), engaging in heated conversations with his friends and fellow streamers. God, one look in their chats and you'd get as violent as possible— (not much, you'd discovered it the hard way). Thus, it was no surprise that when you enter the place, you hear whispers and scoffs.
‘’The hell are you doing here?’’ A voice was heard from within, the café had the computer screens up front, a bar and a couch with TV in the back. Tomura was occupied in the designated bar the place had (you often wondered what kind of needs these people had—all they ever consumed was energy drinks and pre-packaged meals, takeouts were for reasons of competitive market prohibited).
‘’Just dropping by for a couple of hours, will leave soon.’’ You sigh as you take a seat on the couch, not bothering to talk to anyone, it wasn’t like they cared anyway. Loud noise and laughter can be heard all around, a couple of guys swearing and some younger boys excitedly standing above their screens. The store had a 16+ policy, but of course, no one ever checked so kids could practically stare unattended. Tomura also encouraged younger boys to play, such a piece of shit, you think, getting them to learn young. 
‘’Oh my fucking God, a slut just joined!’’ You hear some guy swear, presumably because a girl joined their online server. These guys were so disgusting, you cringe, it was no wonder they were celibate without wanting it. You stand up, you need to kill some time and you're feeling bored, you think about starting a fight with Tomura, how else could you have a little bit of fun?
You weren’t ever necessarily afraid of the guy, even though you had to admit, he looked intimidating. Quite tall with a pale complexion, ashy, dull hair and scars across his face; no one actually knew much about him and whether he was troubled, it’s not like he ever showed to work beaten up or high and usually kept a low profile. The only frightening thing this man had was his smile, it terrified you sometimes as it looked downright evil. 
‘’Getting them to learn young, huh?’’ You ask him, he’s washing up some cups from the previous round of gross gaming guys, who have now left.
‘’What?’’ He responds, not bothering to look up. 
‘’How to not get women, I mean.’’ You sigh as he huffs in annoyance.
‘’You should be grateful I let a female in my store in the first place.’’ He retorts, but doesn’t seem very angry, just ironic. Usual.
My store (you decide to skip over 'female') sounds funny but you choose not to comment on it. 
‘’So how long until you guys close?’’ You don't bother with the vocabulary—it’s routine at this point. It also never ends well and you had a great night so far, why ruin it now?
‘’Two hours.’’ 
‘’Mind if I sit on the couch? I’ll be quiet I promise’’ You ask—technically beg, as you see no other options.
‘’Ugh.. yeah I mind. There’s some guys wanting to use it, I have a group for GTA on the PS5.’’
‘’Seriously? People still play that?’’ You whine but force yourself to continue.
 ‘’Can I sit with you then?’’ It takes strength—but you say it regardless. You came to terms with the fact he was your last resort minutes ago.
‘’Sure. But you need to make yourself useful. Here, take this.’’ He hands you a wet sponge, ‘’Wash these up... carefully, while I go clean the floors.’’ He orders, as if you’re part of the staff (and new on the job apparently.)
‘’Do you actually want me to wash freaking dishes? I just came here to chill, I don’t even bother anyone!’’ You start feeling annoyed with the chores, you aren’t 16 and he isn’t your mom.
‘’You can always leave.’’ The running tap stops and he turns to you, practically shoving the wet gloves on your chest. 
‘’Or...you can stop being a brat and be of use during your stay, I have two hours left.’’ He smiles, that same smile that makes your skin crawl and blood boil as he moves away.
‘’Fuck! My dress, you asshole!’’ A wet patch now covers the too short dress as you glance at the time on your phone. 
Two hours. Two hours until your friends leave and he closes up anyway.
-
Tomura was at least true to his words. Within two insufferable hours of having to listen to appalling conversations between men (hardly to be considered as such), plate washing and the toilet being constantly occupied, the last customers get up to leave. 
You dry your hands and plop down the couch exhausted.
‘’Finally.’’ You exhale checking your phone, your friends hadn’t given you any life signs in the meantime, so you decide to patiently wait, they’d message eventually. Tomura is done sweeping the nasty floors from crumbs and dried Monster remnants, which he still has to mop (for the fourth time, you note and you've only been there some hours). You notice how restless he seems—the guy has been running the whole night after ignorant customers, who had not once shown basic respect for the order of the place yet never complained. Truly a shame he has such a misogynistic mindset, you think. He could get women, if he wanted to. 
It’s around 6:30 AM, when he presses a button to close the store's roll-up shutters halfway. Small light outside makes its way in but the place is still relatively dark, as he places the mop near the wall and takes a seat next to you.
‘’Fuuck, I’m so tired.’’ He sighs, making sure to spread his legs on the couch as much as he can, not caring (of course) about you also sitting on it. 
You always branded Tomura as an incel, that you knew about. But despite that, you now can’t help but feel for him, not knowing much about him at the same time. Sure, he technically isn’t the nicest guy but a look around would show you that he tries enough for a job kicking his ass. You find yourself sympathizing with a man, whose ideals you hate and try to brush these thoughts off.
‘’And why the fuck am I an incel anyway?’’ He asks, his head rests on the couch and his eyes are closed, he is scrunching severely—almost threatening to fall down. And he manspreads. A lot.
‘’W-well– I..’’ You never thought he’d caught on to that, stammering to stand your ground as you continue. ‘’Well, there have been rumors about you.’’ You say, but it doesn’t come off as confident as you’d hoped for. You also realize, it sounds kind of stupid.
‘’Reaaally? And you made sure to believe them, right?’’ His tone’s laced with irony but the way he talks like he whispers in a raspy voice doesn't annoy you anymore. It makes you more... uncomfortable? On the edge? Excited?...what?
‘’It’s not like you don’t claim it yourself.’’ You retort, finally finding some courage. You notice him looking at you as you awkwardly shuffle in your seat.
‘’All I’ve ever said was that I think women are good for nothing. And I still believe that, but I wouldn’t waste more of my time on that.’’ The statement makes you roll your eyes.
‘’How can you generalize a whole group of people, who are literally in no way inferior to you, you can’t tell me you’ve tried—’’ 
‘’Listen dollface, unless you want to change my mind there’s no reason to fuss that much, my opinion won’t change.’’
Unless you want to change my mind?
‘’I-I don’t.’’ You stammer, because the answer and pet name (dollface??) takes you by surprise and he laughs.
‘’Relax, you branded me an incel.’’ He jokes, ‘’don’t want the rape allegations on me too.’’ 
The more he talks, the more your mind races and you curse yourself. He seems..funny? He has a mole under his lips—fuck, it looks cute...He also looks good so (stupid as it is, yes!) you silently want his attention. Why can’t he just look you in the eyes more?
This is so wrong. He must've noticed your lost gaze as he speaks up.
‘’Wanna watch a movie?’’ He proposes and you nod, anything is better than the silence hanging in the air. Silence you caused. For thinking... things about him. 
Of course Tomura ends up choosing the most depressing film anyone can possibly watch in an internet café at 6 AM, Fallen Angels, and the dramatic cuts make it hard for you to concentrate. He at a certain point leans closer to you but you justify it, how else would he be able to see?
During this one scene, the woman pleasured herself with her legs closed, rubbing together and that’s when you feel a soft hand touch on your thigh. The dress you wore rode up, because your legs rested on the table ahead so it gave him the space he needed. The movement made you tingle and your core involuntarily contracted. The smooth fingers teasingly trailed up and down your leg, from your knees to your inner thighs. You didn’t want to look at him—he was too close and the scene seemed endless. But…he went on about it as if nothing was happening. 
Without saying a word, he carried on. A pad of his finger tip dangerously close to your now heated entrance, the images flashing before your eyes lewd, his hand tempting and threatening to reach your already soaked cunt—all this while the two of you hadn’t even shared a kiss. But he doesn't stop, looking ahead and acting like everything’s fine, until he touches your lower lips and you hiss, his finger traces the wet spot over your underwear while you try to move and speak up. 
‘’W–what are y—’’
‘’Shh..’’ is all he says. 
You want to tell him no. But no to what? You like the feeling of his two fingers against your folds. His palm moves your panties to the side and he stuffs them inside—they dampen from the fluids. How is he that quick? You can’t form a response but you’re about to ask him why—
‘’All that and I haven’t even kissed you.’’ He murmurs, gaze still fixated on the television ahead as you moan, when he slowly pumps them within your walls. Fuck, are you turned on by this?
‘’P-please..’’ You whisper, turning to look at him and for the first time, his eyes are removed from the stupid TV, a sly smile on his features as he tears away his hand.
‘’What is it? Want the incel to kiss you? Maybe even fuck you to prove a point?’’ He says and you frown.
‘’I—no, I have to go.’’ You get up, fixing (lowering) your dress—you have nowhere to go but you’ll figure it out eventually. You think staying longer only plays into his cruel intentions and whilst you can’t deny the pleasure he could give you, your pride’s in the way.
‘’You’re not going anywhere.’’ A wet hand clasps around your wrist and brings you on his lap, as he grins; you seem confused at the sensation. You are hiding the TV screen but he couldn't care less, he never paid attention to the movie.
‘’Feel the stain you left, too?’’ He says as he brings your face closer with the sticky palm grabbing you by the hair. You softly moan, noticing the small mole up close and feeling a bulge poke where your bodies meet. You sway your hips in a silent effort to have him initiate a kiss, you feel desperate and curse yourself again internally. He can only smile.
(You were so clueless, walking around in that slutty dress earlier—making him hard like that, did you even know it?)
He’s quick to kiss you, eager for more already, as mouths clash, teeth collide, the need you both have exceeds proper manners. You sloppily grind against him, the friction from a long outline beneath you makes it hard to think.
‘’I’m guessing, you’re really fucking the incel then.’’ He half smirks as he grabs you and repositions you to sit on his now fully hard cock that throbs in his pants; he lifts your dress above your ass and guides your hips sluggishly back and forth—he’s tormenting you and he enjoys it to the fullest.
‘’T-tomura..p-please.’’ You whine, the urge to have him inside you makes you blabber.
‘’Please what?’’ He slides a hand behind your waist, lowering it to find your slit from behind, his fingers pet your cunt and you moan. Loudly. He is tugging at your panties, the fabric annoys him and he wants full access and the words. The words to prove his point.
‘’P–please...fuck me already!’’ You breathe out and he groans to the sound of your voice. 
The ironic remark he prepared evaporates as he quickly pushes you back, just enough to not fall off his lap and quickly unzips his pants, thanking god for not wearing a belt. 
His pants and underwear are sloppily moved down his knees, as his cock jumps with a pop on his lower abdomen, stiff with a weeping tip. Pretty veins throb around it as your eyes widen.
Shit, he’s big, can you take him?
‘’I’d ask for a nice blowjob, dollface, but wouldn’t want the feminists after me.’’ He says as he brings you close, kissing you yet again, a string of spit runs down your jaw, as your hands roam his tangled, uncombed hair. 
He positions you on his cock, one hand snakes around your waist while the other one clings to the back of your scalp and you’re swiftly lifted by the head and pushed down on him, as you let out a scream.
‘’Shut the fuck up.’’ He hisses, quickly looking around, the sensation from almost his whole length makes you tremble, he feels too full, too painful...too good.
‘’Shit, c’mon now you got this.’’ He encourages as you hesitantly move up and down his cock, gripping his shoulders and looking at him; he seems more concentrated on the sensation than your body, staring at you while you wrap around his length.
‘’Fuck...dollface, this too much for ya?’’ He tries not to grunt and you give your best not to cry, each moment that goes by turning the initial pain to pleasure—your cunt adjusts slowly and bit by bit to his girth. 
‘’T-tomura... y-yes..it’s too much!’’ You whine, sweat forms in your forehead as his hand finds your swollen clit and circles it while your nails dig deeper in his shirt.
‘’You can take it.’’ He says, he feels you squeezing him in, you bounce with dedication on his legs, making the couch squeak as if on some sex tape—you want to bring yourself even closer. So nasty, aren't you? Acting righteous, only to fuck yourself on his cock like a desperate whore.
‘’I-ugh-p-please..’’ You try to speak but he secures his hand around your torso and sinks (lower than before) down the couch. Two strong hands force you to stay still in the air while he drills himself into you at a steady pace, kind of sloppily too. Both of you moan, the position gives equal pleasure, your clit bumps on his groin and his cock reaches your g-spot with ease.
‘’S–Shit, you’re squeezing way too much, haven’t you been fucked like this before?’’ He sounds annoyed but the stammer in his voice betrays him.
Not like this, you want to say but can’t really speak the words. Your weight falls entirely on him, he doesn’t mind one bit—he loves it actually, this skin on skin contact as he guides you on his cock, it feels surreal. He hits soft and spongy spots inside while you slowly fall apart. 
‘’T-Tomura right there..I ugh—I'm close!’’ The sensation overwhelms you, his eyes are still fixated on your face, yeah I can tell, he thinks. He gets off on your desperation, mouth parted all for him? Your eyes threaten to spill by the way he tears apart your cunt and morals bit by bit.. it’s–
‘’Tomura, aren't you closing yet?’’ Someone asks from outside, interrupting the moment. The shutters only reveal a pair of shoes. 
‘’Yeah, I’m on it.’’ Shigaraki stops composed, cockwarming you in a funny way, while a hand, his hand covers your mouth. Your eyes widen as slick trickles down his thighs in silence.
‘’Alright, see you then.’’ The man leaves and he cusses him out. (''Cunt.'')
‘’We’re not done.’’ He turns his attention back to you and seizes your face, bringing your mouth closer.
‘’Open up.’’ He orders and you do, clenching around him in anticipation.
He spits in it and closes the gap with his index finger. 
‘’Swallow or I won’t continue.’’ You quickly gulp down.
‘’So obedient all of a sudden, aren't you?’’ Sarcasm evident as he gives your ass a solid hit, before starting to get back on his pace, only more rough this time, he longs for your release on him. You’re moving up and down his length, trying to grab anything accessible really, his hair, the back of the couch, under his shirt and you feel your orgasm resurface stronger; the delay highlighted all of your senses.
‘’T-Tomura—’’ You shudder, as his cock hits your g-spot expertly–fuck, this guy wasn't some incel–and your swollen clit has to brush one last time past his groin before you feel an overwhelming orgasm take over. You clamp down his length and moan embarrassingly (Fuck Tomura! I–I'm...too good!) This time he lets you, he needs to hear this.
‘’Fuuck—agh, look at you dollface.’’ He hums, a feminist creaming herself on my cock, he wants to add but it’s too many words and you just came so he wastes no time. He brings your neck close to his mouth and bites on it, teeth sink into your flesh and hands force you all the way down. His cum spills inside and he groans, trying to stifle his moans by biting down the sensitive skin even harder. 
And fuck if that isn’t hot.
He keeps you on him, arms fasten around your waist with cum dripping onto his lowered pants but neither of you bother to care; ragged breaths and the sounds of the film still playing are audible as more light enters through the rolled shutters.
God must’ve been on your side that day because a message appears on your screen moments after you both wordlessly got up and cleaned yourselves in the bathroom. Tomura would have to clean again, you think, as the message on your phone signals your time to leave.
You turn to look at him, he has removed his shirt and small nail scratches decorate his pale back and you..smile. What the hell? Was this..? Oh no—You try to find an appropriate goodbye.
See you soon? Thanks for the mind blowing dick? You aren’t the incel I thought you were? Everything seems embarrassing at present time. 
‘’I-I’ll be seeing you soon.’’ You opt for that, stupid as it is, you still look at him in anticipation. He turns to you, hands on the mop cleaning near the couch and nods. 
Great, you think, that was a disaster. You defeatedly walk (actually stoop to get past the almost closed door) feeling like a hooker after a client, miserable and kind of used. This is always the worst part. 
You feel an arm touch your shoulder, you’ve only taken a few steps in the daylight.
‘’Take this in case you revoke your incel statement.’’
Tomura hands you a piece of paper and quickly disappears behind the store’s shadows.
2K notes · View notes