#these wounds are deep so deep
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While I am losing time with writing of you, of us, you are adding once again new people. Feels like the never ending story. Meanwhile my mind is directly split between two possibilities. First 'oh wow seems like he was working late and met some new people/someone new' and the second is 'oh, we haven't seen each other in quite some time so now he's feeling the urge of getting what he wants from somewhere else. One way is going to work at a place where he could meet someone at that time of night, second is hes alone in his bed getting himself of to the women with high potential, girls he came to notice and somehow never seems to forget. Females who are living 'next door', but also the cheapest influencer bitches, oh and sometimes the best of both.. A combination of a wanna be hn influencer with more naked skin shown than fetish clothing on.
#my thoughts of you are sometimes kinda 'polluted'#sadly I wasn't the person who started this pollution#yes it's my brain they are my thoughts I should control them#but the same shit again and again and again until I got asked what is going on and if I know about that#the worst part is actually the amount of times it happened again#my trust got damaged by the first mere 'act' but saying you're gonna stop and doing it anyway broke it#and my heart aswell#I don't trust you anymore when it comes to other females#not at all#when hope and love are gone I guess this is moving on#02:02#I do love you#but you are not you anymore#I am desperatly searching for the man I love in a often familiar strangers face#I don't recognize you at times#and the way you behaved and treated me doesn't help at all#all this pain that was NOT the man I love#these wounds are deep so deep#want to let this pain go#don't know how#but it's so unbelievable hard for me being talking and seeing you when these wounds are a hundred percent active#I don't want to be resentful as fuck towards you#because right now we have to get it together or I don't think we will ever get back what we fulicly (?) damaged to the core#we both need to feel respected heard seen safe secure understood or at least ACCEPTED AND VALIDATED#calm peaceful soft#with a tone of voice that's low and compassionate not judging not angry not blaming#without feeling a hundred percent safe to open up I won't do it#as sad as it is but those last months showed me too often what is to much for me#what drains and damages me enormously
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The dog days are over.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#jiang cheng#The childhood flashback is one of my favourite scenes in MDZS and yes I am disapointing myself in how little I am covering it.#If it is any consolation...I'll be bringing JYL's piggyback scene into another comic later on.#There truly is something so specific and yet resonant in the way our bonds as children feel so deep.#But the world doesn't stay as small as it does when you are a kid. The problems you argue about get bigger and more serious.#You still hold so much love for this person despite how much you want to throw hands with them.#To have such a complicated history with someone and then fall apart...You always think you have time to heal the wound.#Why wouldn't you! You've never had anything but time with this person. A brother not in blood but in true and genuine bond.#And then the fucker dies! It's horrible and sudden and the last words you exchanged were cold and awful!#What do you do with those dead end feelings? What do you do but grieve bitterly and angrily?#There is no resolution for all the love you wanted back. There will never be an opportunity to bridge the gap between you.#Someone you loved died thinking you hated them. Because you thought you had more time.#If anyone dares say Jiang Cheng didn't love WWX I'll be the first to fire up the powerpoint presentation on why he absolutely does.
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I love you Jhes, I don’t care if me in 2018 reading your page and thinking you were an axolotl creature was a misunderstanding on my part. I’m keeping that headcanon / design since we know so little <3
#doctorsiren#gravity falls#jheselbraum the unswerving#stanford pines#bill cipher#gravity falls fanart#traditional art#my art#okay look she told Ford she had been taking care of his wounds while he was unconscious for ‘quite some time’#so naturally#big frilly fish mom?#again uh aunt beast from a wrinkle in time#I think she’s probably both terrifying and beautiful. just like a deep ocean creature#Siren Stop Fixating On Minor Characters That Have Little Info About Them (Challenge) (Impossible)
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eldest daughter behavior
#he just like me fr#can you tell that I used to be an osomatsu kinnie#osomatsu san is like an old wound I got from the war that’s healed but still acts up during dubious employment periods#yes I am currently job hunting why do you ask#digital art#my art#osomatsu matsuno#osomatsu san#mr osomatsu#actually no I don’t think he deserves the Mr title there’s too much respect behind that#why do I feel like his English name would be some shit like craig#I’ve only ever cosplayed once in my life and it was this fucker#I still have the bowlcut wig buried deep in my desk and it whispers to me like the green goblin mask#also I bought a surprisingly really high quality hoodie cosplay it’s very good for cold winter days#but it has a giant pine logo smack dab in the middle so it’s like wearing a sign that says bullied in highschool in public#who says watching osmtsan doesn’t do any good?#I watched two episodes the other day and immediately went on indeed and applied for another job thanks king ����#hello to like the ten other matsuno fans still on here#I’m literally neeting it up at home right now#my friend says I’m doing better than them cuz I got my degree tho so I’m holding on so hard onto that 👊👊👊
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Stan can be both the saddest sobbing wet beast and the silliest guy. Truly, he has it all
#gravity falls#stanley pines#mullet stan#stan pines#menaarts#gravity falls fanart#you see older stan may be a deep well of saddness but he's had like 30 years for those wounds to scab over#but those wounds are still very fresh in mullet stan#so though he may be silly and try to put up a tough exterior#he's much more emotionally volatile#way less likely to be able to keep the tough exterior together#it's so fun to play with
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There needs to be a scientific study done on how Rockstar Games' Arthur Morgan is able to provoke the most earth shattering emotions I didn't even know I had in me
#you guys get me right#like you feel it deep in your chest#the joy the anguish the grief#it feels like words aren't enough#and I don't mean it as in “sad moment in video game makes you sad”#I mean it as in “a deep and well written moment that has been slowly building is fleshed out in a video game and I think about for weeks”#when I say I lose sleep over this game I really mean it#I spend hours just laying in bed thinking about everything that happens in arthur morgan's life#it eats at me#I'm not ashamed of how much I have cried over this game#it fucking gets to me#playing rdr2 is the best form of escapism until the story hits you like a stab in the chest but the blade just pushes in further and further#until you're left with a gaping wound#“wow michael I didn't know you were so emotional over pixels on a screen”#except those pixels were acted out and performed by real people and voiced by real people and designed to look like real people#the game's main target was historic realism emphasis on REALISM#to provoke emotions through amazing storytelling#it's okay to feel strongly about things!!#this game man#this game#rdr2#red dead redemption 2#mick squeaks#mick thinks#arthur morgan#red dead redemption 2 spoilers
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Probably the most powerful expression Oda drew on Law because how many times have we seen him so broken and desperate. That's a boy who lost everyone within a single night along with his faith in humanity - spilling out his heart in front of a total stranger just so he can somehow evade re-experiencing this pain:
And this time it struck him worse . Now there's guilt along with grief because he brought the grim reaper to Cora himself.
Vergo is now dead and Doflamingo in Impel Down - but this isn't something you heal from in lifetime.
Years after, same story. Oda struck the same wound again, took away his sword and hat while at it, then left him in salt water.
#so. today marks a year since law was last seen in the manga#I saw the law crying panel on twitter and teared up because theres no way he isn't going through that exact feeling deep inside rn#a devil fruit user. suffocating under water. wounds exposed to salt. exactly what he's going through inside and out#1 am feels#OK feels aside. for law to 'proceed by himself' he needs some words of assurance that his crews aren't dead or captured by BB#since we saw akainu receiving the news - it's possible that HP are arrested and Law will get their updates from newspaper#one piece meta#mine#trafalgar law#trafalgar d. water law#donquixote rosinante#one piece heart pirates#op meta
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Dead Boy Detectives being canceled is still one of the Top 10 Worst Feelings I Have Ever Had, but hey. Could be worse. Guess it could have been canceled on a cliffhanger with the obvious Set(TM) on different planes of existence, not speaking to each other after a desperate kiss
#a lot of really bad things have happened to me i promise#it's not that boohoo a tv show is the worst thing ever check my privilege#but dbda being canceled opened up all those deep ol' wounds#so yeah#dead boy detectives#good omens
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i deeply relate to jesper in a way that’s probably very concerning
#horribly wounded and unable to receive love#always feeling too much and not enough at the same time#horribly energetic that leads to awful burnout#deep guilt and shame over fundamental parts of who they are#six of crows#shadow and bone#jesper fahey#i love him so much#jesper i love you
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So I have a question about Arlo’s powers that you might have the answer to
Do you know what the bleeding is all about? Like when he starts coughing up blood after his barrier breaks. Does he just like straight up start bleeding internally or something?
Anyway I love this blog sm you are giving me the unO content I crave
Ah, thank you! Yes, I absolutely have the answer. In fact, I’m going to take this opportunity to make a post that was already floating in my head.
Arlo and Recoil Damage
First, to answer your question in a literal sense, yes. It’s definitely internal bleeding. Specifically, damage to his lungs.
It’s also not at all unprecedented for a person to be wounded like this. Every person with a conjuring type ability takes damage when their conjures are damaged.
(Rein in ch. 16)
(Cecile attacking Arlo, ch. 109)
The difference with Arlo, is that his damage happens below the skin. Here’s where it gets juicy.
Symbolism
Arlo’s ability is very symbolic, possibly the most so of anyone in the series. His nigh unbreakable barrier he puts around himself represents his metaphorical walls, and how he keeps everyone at a distance. His passive makes him invulnerable— he gets punched in the face, clawed at, stabbed at, etc, and doesn’t even blink. The only way to hurt Arlo is to break through his barrier. And when his walls are broken down, there’s a wound in his chest. It’s not literal enough to be his heart that bleeds, but it’s very close.
There’s also something that’s been kicking around in my head for awhile—
“You’re the strongest one out of all of us here right now. You can try to brush this whole thing off... but to the rest of us, it’s still scary. If even you can’t protect yourself, what can the rest of us do?” — Remi, Ep. 61.
I remembered the line being “When people as strong as you show fear, it scares the rest of us.” However, that must have come from a different scene and I won’t track it down.
It’s plain and simple: High tiers have been taught their whole lives to bottle things up.
This is also seen reflected in Seraphina—
(ep. 20) Granted, the circumstances here are very different, but it’s a similar idea. High tiers showing emotions scares people.
So they bottle them up...
… until they explode.
(Ep. 106)
The judgment Arlo and Seraphina face is very similar. Seraphina rejects these expectations before the story starts, but Arlo has yet to do so. He is very much like the Seraphina we see in flashbacks.
All of this is to say: it is significant that his barrier wounds are internal. The little bit of blood we can see is mainly there so the audience knows he’s injured— but otherwise? Barrier cracks aren’t an injury that people can really see. Recoil damage is typically reflected as scratches, so his internal wounds are both unique, and symbolic of the way he hides his feelings.
#analysis#arlo unordinary#ask#asks#i forget which tag I usually use#Ability discussion#UnOrdinary#You asked this question to the right person!#Ive done lots of thinking about the barrier cracks#and how Elaine and John are probably the only ones who know the extent of it/exactly what the cracks do#He is always so composed and never lets on anything#and his wounds are buried deep inside hidden from sight#—betrayed only by the blood he coughs up#ARGHH it makes me insane#Especially when I think about how he stays calm when he talks about Rei…#Unordinary is a masterpiece yall
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if everything with varric weren't enough to make rye go the level of ape shit at solas that he does (and goodness don't get me wrong it was more than enough!), forcing him to sit alone with himself in the fade and wonder if he really just saw lucanis die right in front of him with no way to know for sure added kill bill sirens in his head so loud the voice of the Maker Himself could not be heard over them if He personally peeped through the blanket of the dark to cry 'hold, hold'
(That no compunctious visitings of nature shake my fell purpose, nor keep peace between the effect and it. indeed. maybe you should have thought a bit harder before making me quite so much in your own image. bitch)
#literally what was the purpose of that other than pure cruelty. solas. SOLAS#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#lucanis dellamorte#rook x lucanis#rookanis#solas#oc: Ellaryen Ingellvar#Dynamic: That my keen knife see not the wound it makes#gonna make that my solas & rye tag I think. I must be cringe to be free 2: the even freer sequel#aiding and macbething. ahaha. hm. I originally wrote this at like two in the morning pls have patience with me#can you tell I'm kind of enjoying getting to go full cathartic vengeful sicko mode on this one vicariously lol#I'm getting it all out of my system so I'm ready to put on my 'compassion and forgiveness ARE important actually' gloves#for the next run when I'm redeeming him fhsdakj yeah okay I will acknowledge the clear spelling out in the narrative#that the cycle of violence and revenge *must* be broken at some point and someone must be the first to do it. I will do that.#tomorrow.#today I am digging two graves. one on top of the other so I get to bury you twice as deep and you won't get back out you *motherfucker* <3
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springtrap but he has claws and he slowwwwwly sinks them into youi while holdoing you close purring softly hes not eveb truing ta hurt you on ourpose justtrying ta keep you as close as possible and get you ta stay put for just a few more seconds oohohohhh ohhh hospital hostpital hospital. emergency room hospital
#ooooooooooooooouuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhh'#springtrap w/claws my absolute weakness#ohhh ouhuhhohohohohoooooo#slash me w/them thnits please ohhh oh my gos#spacie spoinks#i want him ta latch on and never let go#aouuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuugh#houaaauuuuuuugh ohhhh#who ami kidding i cant pay for the emergency room bill#urgent care urgent care pjaaaa waiting room in the urgent care#patiently waiting ta be seen in the urgent care while im bleeding all over the seats from springrtap ripping me apart#w/his claws and teeth#there are bite wounds and deep gashes all over me and i am just sitting there really content and springtrap#is embarrassed he did so much damage but also slightly worried#sorry for writing fanfic in the tags i need him so bad and i need 2 be held even more than that#ohhh my god i need 2 fuck him so bad#ohhhh ohhh my godddddd#utgent care urgent care ohhhh calm drive ta the urgent care as i cover the car seats w/my own blood#fuuuck oh my god fuck oh mt god
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Had to let it out my system. Injured Nikolai. Abrupt ending because I couldn't stand my writing any longer.
Two months. Two months since Price had last heard from Nikolai. Normally it wouldn't be unusual, they've gone longer without seeing or talking to each other. It was expected, they were used to it, given the nature of their respective jobs, both were busy men who had little to no time to themselves let alone each other. But even then, the two would have some idea about what the other was doing, whether they were alive or not.
Price wasn't worried at first. He knew what Nikolai did for a living wasn't very... conventional. Man had his secrets, his own ways of doing things. And it seemed to be going well for him. Price didn't question it. Maybe he simply just went for another job without notifying Price, maybe the mission took longer than usual. A late night phone call to Syd did confirm his suspicions, but wasn't enough to settle down his nerves. Syd had told him that Nikolai did, in fact, leave for a job, but he was solo. John didn't like the sound of that.
"He left me in charge. Muttered something about it being 'personal'. I don't know. I'm sure he can handle himself, Captain." was what Syd had told him.
Price just muttered a 'thank you' and hung up. It was fine. Nikolai dealt with shady business all the time. He was sure Nikolai had his reasons.
And so Price gave him another week. Waited patiently for a word. Just in case he had people after him and had to lay low. Maybe he was hiding in one of his safe houses. Whatever it was, Price was certain Nikolai knew what he was doing. Although the uncomfortable feeling in his gut never quite went away.
"I've been managing the operations just fine, Captain, but I'm starting to worry as well. Do you have any idea where he might have gone?" Syd had told him over the phone one night. Price mindlessly tapped on the desk with his finger, contemplating.
"No signal from any of the Chimera safe houses?"
"None. Have you talked to Laswell?"
"Nah. Haven't yet. She's got bigger things on her plate." John replied, "I got one last idea. If that fails, we ring the alarm bells." A nod from Syd, the end of their phone call.
**
It was John's last resort. It was why John wasn't panicking just yet. The tiny shack somewhere only the two of them knew. Not even Laswell. It was their little secret. Sometimes they'd come here for fishing, a hidden 'safe house' in the woods near a lake, just for the two of them.
He drove as fast as he can, feeling uneasy in his stomach. If Nikolai wasn't there, he actually wasn't sure what he'd do. Go after himself? Alert the others? We'll see.
Two bloody months. If he's there and alive, I'm gonna kill him myself, John thought to himself.
He pulled over near the small shack in the woods, covered by the trees, almost impossible to spot. John felt a familiar warmth at the sight of it. They'd made some good memories there.
Approaching the door, he paused. It was already slightly open. A break in?
A shouted swear from the inside pulled John from his thoughts. He pulled out his gun, carefully approaching the door and letting himself in.
It was cold and wet, things were scattered inside. Someone had been here. John braced himself for whatever as he approached the main room, his finger steady on the trigger.
A broken sob came from inside, along with muttered curses in Russian. John would recognize that voice anywhere.
"Nik?" He lowered his gun as he pushed the door open in a hurry, stopping in his tracks as he took in the sight before him.
There Nikolai sat by the wall, needle and thread in his shaky hands, blood soaking the floor. Blood dripping from a seemingly deep cut on his arm. He looked drained, dark circles under his eyes, tears from wide blown eyes wetting his cheeks, looking up at John.
"John? What are you..." He sounded weak. Pained. John's heart clenched at the sight. What the hell had happened? How long had he been here?
Rushing over to him, John dropped to his knees, hands immediately on the man before him. Checking for any other major injuries. He was confused, he had a thousand questions running through his head. But most important of all, Nikolai was alive. Battered and bruised, but he was alive.
Nikolai's eyes fluttered, like he couldn't believe John was there. "What are you doing here?" He rasped quietly. God, he looked like a mess.
John didn't even know where to start. He raised one hand to hold Nikolai's cheek, tapping on it to get his attention. "Nik. Nikolai. Stay with me. Focus. We're gonna go get some help." He looked down at Nikolai's arm. "Christ, you... You were trying to stitch that on your own?" His voice came sharper than he intended, filled with shock and concern.
Nikolai looked on the brink of passing out, but he still managed to smile slightly. It quickly turned into a pained wince though. "I had it under.. under control, Captain. You shouldn't have come."
Price reached for Nikolai's trembling hands and grabbed the needle. Before they got out of there, it'd probably be wise to close the wound up. It seemed like Nikolai already tried to clean the wound, but the bleeding just wouldn't stop.
"Fuck's sake, Nikolai. We had an agreement." He cursed under his breath as he worked on the wound, the broken whimpers coming from the man below shattering his heart.
"Something happens, you come to me. You don't just go off on your own and handle things. You don't try stitching your own wounds. How many times has it been?" He couldn't help the crack in his voice. "You could've died, Nik."
Nikolai's face scrunched in a wince as Price worked on stitching him up, it was far from good but for the meantime it would do. Nikolai sniffed, "And yet you save me once again" He tried to joke.
It wasn't the first time they'd done this. There had been many instances where they saved each other, but most of them were on ops they did together, life and death situations. This, although rare, was John's least favorite. John knew Nikolai was a closed off person, wasn't fond of relying on others for help, so he would often try solving his own problems in private. He'd go to hell and back for the people he loved, but receiving the same kind of attention seemed strange to him. This wasn't the first time Price had found him lying on the floor, bleeding. Nikolai hated being seen as weak. Hated asking for help. And it'd always come back to bite him in the ass as an emergency situation like this. Leave it to Price to clean the mess. Ironic fucking paradox, isn't it?
"Fucking hell, Nik." He finished closing up the wound and moved his hand to hold Nik's in his own. He was trembling, cold. They were gonna have a long talk about trust and safety when all of this was over, but for now Price focused on the man in front of him. He looked pale and thin, eyes missing that familiar warmth. Price felt a pang of guilt and sadness in his chest. He should've come sooner. He should've checked, thought of something sooner. Price grabbed Nik's face, pressing their foreheads together. "You scared me to death."
Nikolai let out a shuddering breath, fresh tears forming in his eyes. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." came barely audible.
"I'm glad you're alive." Price whispered before pressing a kiss to his head. "Don't ever pull that shit on me again, okay? We're partners. We lean on each other. Don't just go off on your own without a word. Please."
Price pulled Nikolai close, letting his head fall to his chest, holding the sobbing man in his arms.
Hospital visit first, then a long honest conversation is on the way, John thought.
#okay before you say anything i don't know how deep cut wounds work shut up#this is worse than shit from a butt#but i had to get it out#so don't say anything#apparently english language isnt cooperating with me tonight#so fuck it all#butchering another idea ❤️
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i don't know how to explain the mental damage it does to me that joel mchale's love interest from animal control was born in 1994 and alison brie was born in 1982. it awakens a deep sense of injustice in me as someone who was in the jeff/annie trenches from the fall of 2009 onward. i don't know. i'm sure i've made this exact same post before. but oh my god. 1994! WHAT! can adults even be born in 1994?!?!?! i get that it's 2025, but i stand by my question. what.
#i get that it's because jeff and annie had a jane/rochester age difference specifically that makes it problematique okay!!!! i get it!!!!!#but that still doesn't equip me for joel mchale's love interest being 23 years his junior in the year 2k25. okay??#(funnily enough i feel like frank and victoria have like NO age difference at all#because victoria reads a bit older than she is and joel mchale is clearly some kind of immortal#so it doesn't really matter#and wouldn't matter anyway#these are just my old fandom battle wounds acting up)#dollsome's deep thoughts#why did i even make this post#anyway the point is if jeff/annie is STILL being contested in the mythical someday and-a-movie i'm throwing hands!!!!#annie edison is 34 years old!#aka older than joel mchale's love interest on animal control! boom!!!
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this feels like ive been shot in the arm the fact that hyunjin wanted to cover the moonlight which usually has soft, comforting connotations, like even the gentle light was too much for him at the time and he wanted someone warm to be there with him please hold me
#im wounded im laying on my bed staring at the ceiling#i cant#my baby#like i dont think ive ever read about someone wanting to cover the moonlight#usually it’s wanting it to filter in like a flicker of hope in the darkest night#im not talking specifically about hyunjin here but this concept is so fascinating to me#like are the shadows too strong that the moon pales in comparison to them#or is it because u are too deep in ur despair that u dont want to see the light and be reminded of what u wish for yet cannot grasp#so instead he’s asking for a person to be there in the darkness with him#not telling him it’d be better just sitting there and existing with him#HYUNJIN’S MIND IS SO FASCINATING TO ME I NEED TO KNOW#i need a 5 hours long convo with this man about his songs alone 😭😭😭
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My cleaver wound is pretty healed now, the skin knit back together pretty quickly. Looks like taking proper care actually DOES make things heal better, who would have guessed?? Anyways it's healed just in time for me to do it again for Sunday Hotpot
#i whacked my fingertip with a cleaver on monday l#it wasnt a deep wound but it was at an angle#so i wasnt sure if the skin flap would knit back together
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