#ohhhh ohhh my godddddd

[spaciebabie]

springtrap but he has claws and he slowwwwwly sinks them into youi while holdoing you close purring softly hes not eveb truing ta hurt you on ourpose justtrying ta keep you as close as possible and get you ta stay put for just a few more seconds oohohohhh ohhh hospital hostpital hospital. emergency room hospital

[shittygothbitch]

!!

[museofthepyre]

This is making me lose my mind, I need to dig into it. Forgive me if I’m not spot on with this, I’m no biblical scholar, I’m not even religious. I’m just autistic and had a hyperfixation on the Bible. So gather around, we’re having Bible study (CHNT spoilers… sort of).

I’m sure I don’t need to explain the significance of Jesus as a character in the Bible. Son of god, saviour of man, a martyr. What I’m interested in here is Elijah as Peter, and Jedidiah as Judas.

Elijah as Peter… has many implications of what may be to come? If we are to assume this metaphorical connection follows through the rest of the series. Because Peter in the Bible… he was one of the 12 apostles, he was also leader of the first Christian church. But before that, his story was… well, he betrayed Jesus. When Jesus was being arrested by the Romans, accused of being a traitor… Peter disowned Jesus. He said he did not know the traitor (“How could you!? You—you traitor! The ceremony, the congregants… how… I…”). He affirmed that three times. Upon the third time, he looked at Jesus and saw the hurt in his eyes- also a rooster crowed, which was prophesied to mark this betrayal. The look in Jesus’s eyes broke Peter’s heart, he realized what he’d done, ran away, and cried. Bitterly. Remorse and regret and realization of what he did. After the resurrection, he repented, and earned Jesus’s full forgiveness. He went on to lead the first church, and that became his life. His death came in the form of an upside-down crucifiction. His church was blamed for a fire which broke out in Rome, and he was executed- he insisted on being crucified upside down, as he felt unworthy of resembling Jesus in death. Remember this character is ELIJAH VOLKOV in this metaphor. Assuming the betrayal might be… the pyre? Then what comes next? Remorse arc, forgiveness arc? Ohshdhdhgs WHAT DO I MAKE OF THIS???

AND THEN JEDIDIAH AS JUDAS. MY FFFFUCKING GODDDDDD. Judas is another apostle, but he’s mostly known for his betrayal of Jesus- which ultimately lead to Jesus’s death. Judas disclosed his whereabouts to the people who would later crucify him (ordered by Pontius Pilate, at the time Roman governor) for 30 pieces of silver. He identified Jesus and sealed both their fates with a kiss. After the crucifixion- again, realizing what he’d done- Judas was overcome with so much remorse and regret that he hung himself. Thing is, all of this was prophesied/ predestined to be. There are varying opinions on what degree of choice Judas had- if all of this was fate, if it was all predestined, if he was a necessary part of this larger divine plan. The betrayal… I mean I think it’s obvious what that is in this Jedidiah metaphor. But what comes afterwards… ohhhh. Ohhh. My god. I have so many questions. ALSO IN ANOTHER STATEMENT MAYFIELD SAID JEDIDIAH IS MORESO GOD IN A WAY??? AND SYDNEYS STILL JESUS???? I thought Lucille would for sure parallel Pontius Pilate but then HE SAID MOTHER MARY and I’m. What

Adam as Satan requires little analysis… unless. I mean Lucifer was the most beautiful angel in God’s eyes… before he fell from grace.. Something something “Adam looks like Jedidiah but only sometimes” something something “once the most beautiful angel” something something.

Anyways. Thus concludes today’s episode of me rambling I have no clue what to make of any of this. I usually have more concluding thoughts, this time I’m just staring and shaking uncontrolably.

[girlcockholmes]

killian and carey my GOD gay people my godddddd oh mmyyyy goddddddddd ohhhh my god ohhh my godddddddddd!!!!!!!!

[verpaso]

Im listening to Red Valley so this might change but genuinely Bright Sessions had the most INFURIATINGGG VILLAINSSSSS like ohhhh my god ohhh myyyy godddddd they wrote their asses off with Wadsworth and Green and fucking DAMIEN

[raymend]

BRO. im remembering smaller plot points from y0 and im losing my fucking marbles. like watching 4 i understood like Ohhh yasuko and makoto, and saejima and lee have parallels. i understood a little bit. but now. ohhhh my godddddd

[steaksex]

you'd be so cute just covered in my marks, it'd be so cute to see you flinch when i press my fingers into each bruise and finally draw blood when i bite into your thighs

to avoid touching you and holding your hips down and still each time you tey to grind on me and smirking down at you when you whimper and beg and ignore your whines

it'd b so nice to see you squirm and sob and tug my hair while I take my time showing you how al of you belongs to me and leave hand prints all over (<- insane guy with a problem)

-😶‍🌫️

AGAHHHH..... ohhhh my god if you havw a problem then i have a conundrum. Ohh my god i need to belong to you i think it would fix me. Id try so hard to be good for you even though id flinch on instinct and couldnt keep little tears out of my eyes, but itd be so good. Bruises on my wrists and neck that are the shape of your hands and bite marks on my chest and shoulder and thighs and scratches on my back and big dappled bruises all over because you keep pressing down and making them worse.. ohhh my godddddd.. i couldnt even cover them after, i overheat so easily that i couldnt wear a turtleneck or scarf, couldnt wear long sleeves. Everyone would know that im all yours, fuckkkkk thats hot

[heavenpierceher]

esoteric friendships that i’m certain exist in mtmte but we just don’t see them:

rodimus and tailgate have a big brother/little brother style relationship. like in the “rodimus is a rowdy jackass” way but also he allows himself to express like 0.004% more genuine affection towards tg than other people because i mean cmon look at the little guy. the symbiotic return that tailgate receives in this relationship is being carried places like a purse dogy

swerve and cyclonus rewatching 80s slasher films “why does tailgate call you babygirl” “how about we stop talking for a little while”

cyclonus and ratchet’s mean old crotchety bastard solidarity. in the back of the club arms folded cuz i don’t agree with the music selection

tailgate and first aid will occasionally meet up just to sort of go “ohhhh my gooooddddd oh my fucking GOOOODDDDDD OHHH my GODDDDDD FUUUUUCKKK oh my gooodddddddddd” at each other. they both know exactly what they mean but it’s impenetrable to anyone else

drift is operating under the delusion that he can fix whirl (platonic). whirl is having a GREAT time fucking with his head by pretending to have spectralist visions that entail him getting free drinks

skids is surprisingly very open to being climbed on physically. another free ride for tailgate

chromedome and ratchet’s “oh my god my husband is so fucking exhausting oh my god” solidarity

speaking of which, rewind and tailgate bond over their mutual struggle to unravel their husband’s 27 million emotional firewalls and also watch early 90′s anime reruns

swerve and whirl argue with each other like letterboxd users on twitter. there’s a lot of screaming but trust them it’s a bonding exercise

chromedome and skids have occasional “i have done unspeakable things. we are not going to acknowledge this and instead i will watch you play fallout 4 in total silence” meetings. they both benefit from this experience somehow

magnus and ratchet’s mean old crotchety bastard “oh my god all of you people are fucking insane oh my god” solidarity

putting rodimus and swerve in the same room is an occupational hazard (positive connotation). they are known to escalate games as minor as uno into ship-spanning wagers, usually involving other people’s stuff. rodimus once punched a hole through a wall over wii sports

fortmax and the minibots are bestieeeesssss :3 (they help her forget about The Everything and she lets them be like 50 feet tall)

once drift and cyclonus get over the whole “sorry i played bad cop with you in a misguided attempt to impress the guy crushing on me” thing they like to practice swords with each other. drift always offers to get him a drink afterwards and cyclonus is always like “no” and then shows up an hour later and doesn’t talk to anyone but he’s still there so that counts

tailgate and drift rewatching jidaigeki movies “why does ratchet call you babygirl” “how about we stop talking for a little while”

tailgate and nautica, in a moment of drunken unfiltered weakness, discover that they both have the same sort of “i feel like no one takes me seriously and my emotional openness is offputting to people when all i want is to make genuine emotional connections with others and also when left alone i have a tendency to spiral from feeling useless and like people are only tolerating my presence and don’t actually care about me as a person and my self doubt is tearing me apart internally” thing going on

she also likes carrying him around

everyone likes carrying tailgate around

[godlyakechi]

listening to the new set it off album im freaking outtttttt oh my goddddddddddddd ohhhh my godddddd ohhhhh ohhh ohohohohoho!!!! anyways pictures of the gowrl you know everything about and passing all questionable behaviors as just a joke!...ebang...

idk i just wanted to sketch her really quick...it turned out cute. honestly i love the Y/N in SDS she's so cute!!! im in love. idk if i ever mentioned this but i based her design off of what maskcover said she imagined y/n looked like like! brown hair blue eyes long skirt it's definitely not what she probably had in mind but this is what i interpreted from it.

[fnaf3]

ohhhh my godddddd nothing will ever be okay until i can have vast amounts of plastic surgery and i'm unable to feel any emotion ohhhh to be pumped full of silicone and blonde and white and skinny instead of being this disgusting mass of flesh ohhh to be surrounded by people who love me for me for my looks and nothing else so i don't have to worry about my personality being the problem ever ohhh to just shed all of this and be perfect and an idol and 987rwe0989tsdf78gyukwe8f7hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh i'm gonna literally kill my self

[tfw-no-tennis]

mtmte liveblog issue 22

oooh man, its time to feel some EMOTIONS!

I'm BACK after a hiatus, which was due in part to me getting my 1st dose of the covid vaccine! woohoo!

anyways, starting here w/issue 22....we have a great cover w/thunderclash, the legend himself

oof. the covers made me forget how much I don't like the art this issue...I hate to be mean to the artists but this art style just isn't doin it for me chief

god I love this issue though. the framing device of rewind’s movie is so so fantastic

tailgate listing off all his fake awards/accomplishments....ily 

rodimus my boy, you're a prime in my heart

the ‘not a decepticon’ label for cyclonus is so much hvbhkjfbskjf

I literally wanna comment on every single panel bc I love all the characters so much but then id be here forever...that being said whirl ily sm 

hvbjdfbhsfjhdfshja BRAINSTORM ‘according to perceptor - ships genius’ hvhdkjhbfhjs ily dumb gay idiot

and then the cut to perceptor after brainstorm like, blew up his lab vjbkdsfnbksjf dude

GODDDDDD drift ‘your name...defines you. it’s your soul expressed in syllables. hm? oh, yes, sorry. it’s drift.’ GOD he’s so fucking funny. I love early story hippy drift

god I cant stop thinking about how good this whole issue would be as an animated show...like, specifically rewinds film, it would be SO FUCKING GOOOOOOD mtmte show WHEN

rewiiiiind ;_; I fuckgin love rewind god. fellow video editing enthusiast....

ohhhh rodimus being embarrassed about his big speech at the beginning of mtmte....my boy I love u so much

gjhnbgehjsrkfbjksf magnus being suspicious of rewind oh my god. magnus ily but please, look at the lil guy, he’s a good boy, most of the time

the fuckgin footage that magnus removed hbvhakjbfhskf god. wasn't that intended to be footage of magnus dancing? I love him

minibot squad.....

and here it begins, the mystery stick rung question...

poor rung oh my god he’s just trying to polish his lil spaceship and people r throwing shit at him. taking Ls as per usual it seems

hand grenade tag hvbfjksdnfbkjdf love that callback

noooo rungs ship :( 

magnus’s censorship vhbhadkjfhdbhjsakjhfn

oh man I forgot about how they met that race of Transformers But More 

the one-upsmanship hbvkajsbehfjks

whirrrrrl lmao I love whirl sm

goddddd whirl just killing that other alien and ending the 16 million yr long civil war bvkjsdbfhjjkafs so fucking much

oh god oh god the ‘are you happy’ page, I'm not emotionally equipped to handle this like, ever

but I will say I feel like it would be EVEN MORE oof if it were milne or someone drawing it bc I feel like this art style takes away from some of the impact bc the expressions aren't really that...expressive? idk how to put it

anyways. every single answer destroys me!!! like even the happy ones, like chromedome and rewind and tailgate - well, in present time, none of those three are doing so hot, so that makes this just hurt 

and rung....that is so fucking depressing. jesus. this guy is so fuckng sad, somebody get him a friend stat

and swerve...ouch. this readthru I've really noticed how much early-mtmte swerve is not-so-subtly like, crying out for help bc he’s so alone and shit. jesus 

also brainstorms response is just plain ole sad w/context, but at this point in the story without context, it just seems very foreboding lmao. I'm realizing this readthru that brainstorm is very sketchy and ominous in a particular ‘is he evil?’ mad scientist sorta way in early mtmte

and then everyone else is also just so OOF in their own unique sad ways, but I think the worst out of everyone is drift....GODDDDDD. especially considering that at this point in the story, drift is this kinda goofy hippy guy, so seeing him just sit there with his face in his hand, not even answering the question...AND knowing that shortly after this he’ll end up banished...IT FUCKING HURTS M8!

meanwhile, the more upbeat ‘quest to see rungs alt mode’ continues...with an ‘alt mode party’ vhbadkjsdfnabskjf it looks so silly with a bunch of cars just sitting around a table lmao

I cant even tell who everyone is bc they so rarely turn into cars n shit lmaoooooo 

rodimus with the bucket on his head hbvhakjbfskjf I CANT

everyone’s reactions to thunderclash...i fucking love it

the fact that TAILGATE doesn't hate him, even though we’ve seen that tailgate tends to dislike people who are universally liked/who have achieved a lot of impressive things

rodimus you petty thot vbdkjbfdjhsakjdf ily

RODIMUS IS SO FUNNYYYYYY ‘I'm not making all these sacrifices and leading these guys into battle and being inspirational - I'm not doing that because it makes me look good’ RODIMUS VBHSKJDFNBKSJF

thunderclash talking about magnus’s article on typefaces....hdbksjfsdbkjgfb bro

AND THEN MAGNUS HUGS HIM....HGBSKJFDSHFKD I CANT

POOR DRIFT bvhajkdfbhjkjsfd rodimus saying he ‘rehabilitated him’ oh my god

the whole spectralism thing...im sorry I cant get over how funny all this is vbakdjfbksjf thunderclash rlly b out here charming rodimus’s entire crew

and then ratchet comes in, calling tc ‘thunders,’ and tc immediately notices ratchets new hands (somehow) hvbkjfhbskjf truly amazing

it cracks me up that rodimus is all 😒😒 at thunderclash, even though as we come to find out, tc really IS That Perfect, and him complimenting rodimus isn't sarcasm at all lmao

AND THEYRE LOOKING FOR THE KNIGHTS OF CYBERTRON TOO HVSDHFJBSHKHDFJS OF COURSE

the vis vitalis being a life support machine spaceship is a really cool concept tho

‘rescuing some orphans from an exploding sun’ I fucking cant

evil guy: [holds a gun to thunderclash’s head] 

rodimus: :D finally something doesn't go his way!

he’s so petty I’m..........dkdjhfdabhduifadijgl

and its the aliens from earlier! oooh

GODDD I forgot that swerve used rung in mystery stick mode to SCHWACK the guy

rung casually dropping the fact that the functionists like, experimented on him...there's a lot of implications there, and that'll certainly be explored more later...

the fact that his ID card says ‘rong’ hvbhjakhdsbfakhsjfn 

oughufadkfujbsfk the circle of light throwing wrenches n shit at skids...guys cmon vbhsdjkfnslfd

the circle of light is like ‘wtf you all have trauma and a bunch of weird unhealthy coping mechanisms this is wack byeeeee’ lmao

skids calling the lost light his home is rlly sweet tho

cant believe the religious space hippy cult is being so rude about a film made by a guy who died like a week ago. unreal 

cd finally figured out how to make the pffft sound, good for him

AUGHHHHH the fact that rewind used ‘little victories’ as the title of the film and that's something that chromedome said in the video ;_; I'm fucking inconsolable 

rodimus, despite his obvious posturing for the camera during the whole issue, comes off as surprisingly genuine when he says that he hasn't thought about his own future much, but wants the crew to have a happy ending....im gonna cry

‘who knows what's around the corner?’ tailgate, PLEASE don't say that, oh my god, 

OUGHHHH GROUP SHOT 

OHHH mannnnNNNNN i love this issue SO MUCH. what a good fun emotional rollercoaster wrap-up to mtmte s1. god. 

like, this issue has it all - humor, drama, crippling sadness, intrigue, worldbuilding...it’s so excellent 

and getting to see rewind again hurts so bad but also I love him

ok quick mtmte s1 retrospective...god s1 is so fucking good. I'm gonna have to read more to say which chunk of mtmte I liked best but s1 is so fucking excellent that it might be my favorite. though its hard to pick bc there's so much good stuff later on too...whatever, the point is s1 is so so good

the plotlines and characters are fucking stellar. like I cant even believe how well Everything works, its very impressive. I cant really think of anything major that made me go ‘yeah could've done without that plotline/character’

I love how dedicated jro is to connecting everything. I've mentioned it before but basically every single moment in the series has payoff - what you initially think is just a funny moment, or a fluffy character establishment bit, ends up ALSO being an important plot point later, in some way

an example would be here w/rung and his alt mode - it just seems like a fun little B-plot for this issue, and seems to pretty neatly conclude with the reveal that rung was eventually classified as an ‘ornament’ (lmao)...but we later on get to see a lot more about this, both here and in the functionist universe 

and like, stuff like tailgate’s autobot lessons w/magnus - at first that can be seen as purely character establishment stuff, showing that magnus is a strict rule-lover and tg is a loveable try-hard good boy - but that becomes plot relevant in remain in light, with tailgate saving the day due to his knowledge of the autobot code (and its also character relevant, with magnus’s arc in remain in light). 

and I know this is like. a normal regular thing in writing, but I'm just very impressed about how cleanly jro pulls it off, and how many things he’s juggling at once, especially in early mtmte - it’s very ambitious!

and we gotta remember, this is a comic book. I've read a lot of comic books, and the quality is all over the place. a lot of writers bite off more than they can chew, and the story ends up kinda scattered as a result. 

another thing I see a lot in franchise writing like this is a lack of strong early character establishing due to the author assuming the readers are at least somewhat familiar with the characters already - which can be totally fair depending on where it is in the continuity, but other times it can come off as lazy

in mtmte, the cast is extremely well fleshed out, and not only that, the cast itself is unique in that there are a lot of relative unknowns (franchise-wise) - which I think was an absolutely brilliant move, because then jro was able to essentially create The Definitive Version of these characters - characters like swerve, brainstorm, chromedome, rewind, tailgate...mtmte is their baseline characterization, because they haven't really appeared in much else

this also allows for deviation from the franchise norms - again, a comic book classic is good writing being stifled by a need to stick to a certain status quo regard the characters, the world, the powers, relationships, etc

(I've mostly read DC comics, and some marvel, so I'm thinking superheroes w/all these comic comparisons)

so mtmte had a good recipe for genuine creativity in that the characters were relative unknowns, the plot was basically ‘space road trip,’ the status quo of ‘autobot vs decepticon war’ had been demolished throughout the entire franchise...so jro was able to take all that and run, and it turned out so fantastic

and luckily it isn't over yet! so many comics suffer from premature cancellation...and sadly mtmte/ll isn't exempt from this, as we’ll see later, but I've seen some awful ones, where comics are forced to wrap up in like 2 issues while in the middle of an arc. yikes. 

but another comic staple...one of my least favorite things about comics books in general...something that was basically responsible for driving me away from comics after reading a bunch...the dreaded crossover event

yep, even mtmte isn't immune to this unfortunate plague on the comic industry. crossover events are the absolute worst, and I'm saying this as somebody who adores crossovers (in concept more than execution usually). they SHOULD be my favorite, but unfortunately they p much always completely suck

they're essentially a ploy to get you to read the other ongoing titles, but they usually only serve to bog down whatever story you're reading to the point where you don't even wanna read that one anymore, let alone read all the other ongoings. at least, that’s been my experience 

it doesn't help that reading orders tend to be hard to find/keep track of, and that you need to go read the other series to know what's going on. I just hate it, like, I came here to read THIS series, I don't want a bunch of other series showing up too - even if I was reading two series, I wouldn't want them crossed over, because they're separate stories! augh!

I'm totally losing my focus here but my point is...crossover events suck, and mtmte unfortunately is involved in one. I have not read dark cybertron, and I'm not about to. I've heard nothing but bad things so I have no desire to inflict that upon myself 

soooo ill be reading through the tfwiki articles for those issues to give myself a better understanding of what went on - which is more than I've ever done in the past - and maybe ill even make a single post summarizing my thoughts on what I read in the wiki, lmao

but yea ill be skipping to the mtmte s2 stuff next 

phew ok I'm super tired, my vision keeps blurring out and stuff lmao. its time for bed, I probably have more thoughts but ill save them for later. for now...peace out!

[renee-writer]

Secrets We Keep Chapter 48 Discovery

Quite Explicit

.She falls asleep as relaxed as she has ever been and wakes up, sometime in the dark of the night, to the feel of her kissing the back of her shoulder as her hands explore her breasts.

"Ohh!" She groans out as her nipples tighten under her ministrations.

"I canna keep my hands off of ye. I woke up wanting." And she remembers. She had release but Rue didn't. She turns and lets her lips roam down Rue's body. She finds her nipples as erect as her own. She draws one deeply in.

"Ohhhh holy hell. Just like that!" She holds her head in place as Lamb suckles hard. She groans out as Lamb's hand travel down her body. She gasps when it finds her sex. She starts to stroke, striving to mimic what Rue had did for her.

"Yes, yes, yes!" She cries out as Lamb finds her clit and starts to work it. Her hungry mouth switches to the other nipple. "Oh my god! I am going to cum!" She cries and then does, arching her body up and her vagina contracts around Lamb's finger.

"Better?" Lamb asks, lifting from her breast after on final lick.

"Oh yah. Now for ye. I want to try something." She kisses her first and then works her way down, suckling her breasts and then kissing and licking on her lower chest and belly. "I want to taste ye. I want to put my tongue in your vag and thrust, to feel yer clit bud under my mouth."

"Pleass," a completely turned on Lamb begs,"pleass!" Rue smiles as she works her way down. She kisses her thighs open, and then opens her outer lips with her hands. She is tentative, at first. Not wanting to do something that would hurt her or make her uncomfortable. But, her groans, moans, and gasping hands, spur her own. Her name, whispered and then shouted, keep her tongue stroking. And her taste, growing sweeter as she probed deeper, keeps her exploring.

"Yes! Yes! Ohhh Bloody! I....oh godddddd!' It is earthshaking, her orgasm. It turns her legs to jello, causes every blood vessel in her body to open and suck in the dopemin filled blood, hardens her nipples to an almost painful degree, and losens her hips and vagina. She can't breath and her heart feels like it is leaving her chest. It is glorious.

"I will," deep breath," get you next."

[harryfeatgaga]

I feel like he'd start phone sex off all loving 'miss you so much baby. miss the sound of your voice and your laugh' and it'd slowly change to 'miss you playing with my hair and you giggling when i kiss that spot under your left ear' then morph to 'miss the feel of you sat in my lap' and then to 'miss feeling the way your thighs shake when i fuck you just right' and 'miss the way you moan my name' and you moan it the way he likes and he goes 'yea' jus' like tha'"

OHHHH MY FUCKING GOD YES YES YESSSSSS like okay maybe he was calling to have phone sex but was gonna see if you were in the mood like feel it out cause maybe its late for you so he starts saying miss you so much baby cant wait to see you and saying all those things and then when hes like miss feeling you baby and your like ohhh so its that kind of call huh styles and hes like only if you want too baby just miss you so much miss being with you and loving on you AND OHHHHHHHH GODDDDDD 

[theabominableblogger]

Rewatching “Gotham” S3E14

On this blog, we stan one kickass butler.  And how much he loves his boy

As said before, the rest of these reaction posts I’ll be uploading are not chronological order.  They’re like that because A) college and B) more college.

My sister watched it with me (as well as the other episodes left in my epic “Gotham” reaction series) so my comments will be in bold, and hers will be in regular font.  Author’s notes courtesy of me will be bolded and italicized.

AN:   I managed to record our reactions to this episode and hopefully I can transcribe what I said into this post. 

*gasps as a grenade gets thrown into the precinct*

Jesus God!

Ohhhhh my gosh!

*both freak out over the opening titles*

Molotov cocktails- bet you can’t have just one.

Meanwhile Jeremiah’s like “Eh.  Bazooka.”  *chuckles*

You are walking straight into a trap, Oswald.

*Ed walks in*  I bet you’re wondering why I’ve brought you all here today...

Oswald has like freaking umbrella cufflinks, did you notice that?

*chuckles*

“Oh, you [Ed] escaped.”  Nooo....

*jaw drops as Ed shoots Oswald’s men*

*shook*

“Just wondering if I [Ed] was gonna have to reload.”  Jesus God.

“...what’s happening...”  ‘What’s happening?’  He’s been playing you for a sap!

...Like the cheap kazoo you are.

*starts pretending to play “Amazing Grace” on the kazoo*

*claps hands for each word*  JUSTICE FOR ISABELLA, I swear!

*claps hands*  Yes!

“Isabella was my everything, and you [Oswald] took her from me.”  [Ed] YOU MET HER [Isabella] LIKE A DAY AGO!

*laughs*  You met her in like a span of a day!

*claps hands*  She still deserves better!

I know!  I still think she’s a useless character though.

I don’t care!  She deserved better!

“You [Oswald] still have your life.  But that ends tonight!”  *starts singing “Tonight” from “West Side Story” without trying to giggle*

*chuckles*  You weren’t kidding about the random songs.

Seriously, I do it all the time!

Court of Owls!

The only thing I will never find plausible about the Court of Owls is this idea of “Oh, they’ve been ruling over Gotham from the shadows this whole time,” bullshit.

*both do rising spooky hands*

OK though, I don’t know her name, they don’t give her a name, but she’s like the best.  You see her in previous episodes, she’s like the secretary.  Girl, you rule!

 *puts hands together*  Well, I’m gonna give her a name.  Because in the 66 series, Gordon’s secretary is named Bonnie.

Bonnie!  Ooh, I like that name.

You never actually see Bonnie, you just hear her on the intercom.

“Meanwhile, Cobblepot’s MIA.  You call down to City Hall, and literally no one’s in charge.  Although that might actually be good news.”  *both laugh*

*giggles*  They capitalized “dumpster” on the [close captioning on Netflix]

*waves hands in air in imaginary rainbow*  DUMPster!

“He’s [Jerome] not one to miss out on the fun, so what does he want?”  “A puppy?!?”  *laughs*

“[Oswald] You saw a man that I [Ed] met in Indian Hill that does killer impersonations [Clayface].”  *both end up nodding in agreement*

That’s one way to put it.

I mean, yeah...

“GHOSTS AREN’T REAL!”  Pfft!

“But my father’s remains... you stole them from his grave?”  WHAT NAH WHAT?!?

When did that happen?

I don’t know....

“I [Ed] gently placed his [Elijahs’] remains inside a dumpster behind a Chinese restaurant.”  Oh that’s just mean!

That’s awfuuulll!

That’s meeeaannn!

“You were angry.  I [Oswald] understand.  I even forgive you.”  I love how Ed’s like “Son of a bitch...” and he adjusts his glasses before he turns back.

“So you [Oswald] admit you killed Isabella?”  “Fine.  Is that what you want?”  “Yes.”  *groans in frustration*

“You [Ed] should thank me [Oswald] because we both know what would have happened if I hadn’t!”  *bug eyes in alarm*

WHAAAATTT?!?

“I [Ed] could have lived a life with the woman I loved!”  *both clap hands and aggressively point fingers at screen in agreement*

See see see see?!?  Yes!  God!  Thank you!

“No, Ed.  You would have killed her!”  *leans back*  NOOOOOOOOO!!!

“Just like you did the other one!”  NOOOOOO!!!

Justice for Kristen Kringle too because I’m still pissed about that.

Yeah, I know, I know!  Yeah, I hated what happened to her.

“I did it for love.”  “What?!?”  What?

“I did it because I love you.”  *laughs in frustration*

“Love is about sacrifice!  It’s about putting someone else’s needs before your own!”  *splays hand towards screen in agreement*

“'Cause the truth is, Oswald, you would sacrifice anyone to save your own neck.”  *silently nods in agreement*

“Even me.”  Uh Ed, you’d do it too.  *laughs*

I was gonna say, how does the guy who literally strangled his last girlfriend to death know more about love than [Oswald]?!?

“Now, if you'll look above us, you will see a cauldron of highly corrosive acid, which is currently being held in place by this chain.  When the ice melts, the chain comes loose, the vat of acid tips... you get the idea.”  This is such a Batman 66 trap.

I was gonna say Professor Ratigan but that works too.

*in unison*  Snap!  Boom!  Twang!  Thunk!  Splat!

I mean, if you look really closely at the 66 Riddler, dude was like freaking Jigsaw.

He wasn’t in a wheelchair though.

*in best Jigsaw voice*  Hello, Oswald.

Suck a dick, Oswald,  Though not his dick- you might get mange.

*buries face in elbow*  OH MY GODDDDDD!!

I’m surprised too.

OH MY GOODDDDDDD!!

“I mentioned that you [Jim] killed my husband on our wedding night,and he [Jerome] thought that was hilarious, so that’s something the two of you can bond over when you find him.”  Lee’s just amazing.

LEEEEEEE!!!

Lee deserves better.

Though later, Lee’s like “Mmm, I’m still like extremely angry about this.  Tetch Virus!”  and I’m like “WHY?!?!?!?”

Tetch Virus AKA Dumb Plot Device.

Dull!

“I’ll’’ [Alfred] nip downstairs and see if there’s any life left in that old generator.”  Does he have like no other- did the Waynes have any other staff besides Alfred?

I don’t know...

I’ve always wondered that.

I don’t know.  They never really bring it up.

“Alfred....”  Don’t do it!

*both freak out when Alfred gets jumped by cult followers*

Ohhhh shit!

*Jerome walks in, pretending to be a ghost*  Pfffttt...

Seriously like, where did he get that outfit?

It’s a straitjacket!  He nicked it out of Arkham, I’m sure.

Or it’s like “Oh I’m sorry, gotta find my old friend Bruce.  Oh SYKE!  Outfit change!”

He’s extra enough to do that.

The Valeska twins are just extra to the core.  They’re from the circus, they’re judgy.

*chuckles*  It comes with the territory.

“Teenagers, am I [Jerome] right?”  You are one!

If I recall, he’s like a couple years older than Bruce.

*shakes head*

I would say he’s about [my sister’s] age.

Ohhh OK.

*The owl statue doesn’t break when Jerome drops it*  It stuck!

*groans in frustration when Jerome ends up breaking the owl statue*

“Right.  Sorry.  The old noodle’s still a little al dente post-thaw.”  *laughs*  Al dente?  Is that a pasta?

Don’t know....  I mean, I imagine, waking up from the dead, your brain would feel a little bit like spaghetti.

AN:  Yeah, al dente describes pasta or rice that’s supposed to firm when you eat it. 

“It’s been nagging at me since I [Jerome] woke up.  The idea of slitting that pretty, pink throat of yours...”  Don’t ever refer to Bruce as pretty pink anything.

*imitates the way Jerome twirls his knife in the air before pointing it at Bruce*

“And you’re [Jerome] just going to kill me here?  That’s kinda disappointing.”  You have got balls of steel, Bruce.

*mouths along with Jerome as he says “Flair?  Hmmm?  Style?  Panache?!?”*

He’s like Alex from “A Clockwork Orange”

“I’m Bruce Wayne.”  “I’m aware.”  *both wheeze in laughter*

“My [Bruce’s] company is the machine that keeps the cogs of Gotham running.”  OH MY GOD, you badass!

“You’re saying I [Jerome] need an audience?”  Took you long enough to get it!

*tries not to laugh when Jerome suddenly dips into a British accent in front of Alfred*

“I [Bruce] will see you [Alfred] again.”  *pats chest*  God, I love their relationship in this shoooow!

That was like straight out of “Arkham Origins,” I swear...

I know....

*Oswald still tries to get out of Ed’s trap*  Couldn’t you just like slide up though?  Just shimmy up?

He can’t go far...

“I happen to be the mayor of Gotham...”  *ends up cracking up at the delivery of that line*

“What did you do?”  *scoffs in hilarity*

*Oswald gets out of the trap just in time*  SHIIIT!!

OH IT ATE STRAIGHT THROUGH THE CAR.

*Jerome’s followers trash the manor in front of Alfred*  Damn!

“And how ‘bout you, Mr. Machete?  Come on in, sunshine. Don’t be shy. Your mother wasn’t. Chop-chop.”  *BOTH JAWS DROP IN SHOCK*

*ends up wheezing*

DAAAAAMMMNNNN!!

GOOOO ALFRED!!!

YEESSSSSS!!!

WHERE THE HELL DID YOU [Jim] COME FROM?!?

He snuck in!  That’s why Alfred was saying all that stuff.  He was letting Jim know where everybody was.

Ohhhhhhh.... OK.

*on verge of losing voice*  HE [Alfred] JUST STABBED HIM [the follower] WITH A MACHETE!

HOLY SHIT!

*reels back*  OH ALFRED, YOU BADASS!

Holy shit!

OH MY GOD!

That was awesome!

Oh my God!

*Bruce arrives at the cult circus*  Amusement Mile... I swear this is Amusement Mile..

I think so.  It’s one of the few permanent landmarks Gotham has across incarnations.

*ends up wincing at half of the games the cult plays*

This is like a mix between “The Purge” and “Hell Fest”

Oh God.

That’s literally what this is.

“What do you say, Bruce?  Wanna have some fun before the main event?”  That’s a cool shot [of Jerome].

Hooo hooo...

*dives across room to put on hat for rest of episode*

Alfred’s like “I don’t care, I’m not police, I’m goin’ in!”

Oh my God...

Yess!  Like the badass you are, Alfred!

*winces when Jerome stabs a follower beside him*

*both groan in horror when Jerome uses the blood to paint a frown on Bruce’s face*

*freezes when Tabitha snags her whip around Oswald’s neck*

Oh shit!

“Now, where’s Nygma?”  “I [Oswald] don’t know.”  If he’d knew, he’d murder his ass.

“[Butch] Stop pretending that you are anything but muscle!  Yes, you used to be someone in Gotham, but those days are in the past!”  You stop pretending that you have any pull in this situation, Oswald.  You’re the one who has a whip around your neck!

“Remember when I [Tabitha] put a knife in your mom’s back?”  Oh yeah, she’s the one that killed the mom.  And it SUCKED!

“You [Oswald] never did anything about it.”  *cups hands with mouth*  S4 finale!

*proceeds to smack laptop with hat*

*bug eyes when Butch knocks out Oswald*

“You [Butch] realize you have to carry him now.”  *both chuckle*

C’mon, he weighs like 120 pounds tops.

Soaking wet.

“A few dozen brainwashed maniacs can’t keep the city hostage forever.”  “Well, duh...”  Pffttt...

“The point is that all these people out here, looting, robbing, killing, they're the people who wash your car, who pour your coffee, who take out your trash.  And what happened the moment the lights went out?  They showed their true faces.  They showed how quickly they want to open up your rich boy veins and bathe in your blue blood.”  *very softly*  Oooh, that’s a good line.

“There are good people in Gotham.”  This is the Killing Joke.  ‘All it takes is one bad day.’

“Face it, kid:  Gotham has no heroes.”  Yeah, but the people who crawl under their beds and lock their doors are the ones that are biding their time.

*Bruce pushes Jerome so that he messes up his shot*  Ooohhh!

“Foul!  He pushed me!  Did you see that?!?”  Genesis of Batman and Joker’s relationship:  a shove!

*softly*  Jesus Christ....

*The “punk” ends up being dropped anyway*  Oh my God...

*both yell in disgust when Jerome has to re-staple part of his face*

“Did that hurt?”  *z-snaps in shock*

*Jerome puts a staple in Bruce’s arm*  Did he [Bruce] just No-Sell-

Ohhh!  Ohhh!  YES!  YES HE DID!  Yes he did!

*both yell when Jerome does it again*

Aaahhh!  Aahh, that was on the wrist too!

“Stop!”  He took two!  He took two of those!

Over the wrist too!  God, that’s a major vein!

Did you see Jerome there?!?  He’s like “Well, wait a minute...”

*imitates the dramatic way Jerome puts his hat back on*

“Where the hell is our back up?”  Still two minutes out.”  Alfred is your back up!

*chuckles*  All you need is Alfred!

“All right, so we [Jim, Harvey, and Alfred] go in, find Bruce, get him to safety, then we go after Jerome.  Ready?”  “Not really.”  *chuckles*

*Jerome comes out in his ringmaster costume* AAAAHHHH THE SUIT!!

Oh, that’s so cool.

YESS!!

*Jerome slaps his butt*  Did he-

Yes he did.

“The show is about toooo...begin!”  He [Jerome] was doing a Mark Hamill voice there for a second!

I know!  He does the Mark Hamill laugh sometimes.

Ohhh that’s badass!

Yeah.

*both try to laugh at the stock crowd gasp when Jerome shoots a rowdy audience member*

Y’know what, he [Jerome] would be the guy that would carry around canned sound effects like that.

“So, how to thank the best darn cult of fanatics a messiah like myself [Jerome] could ask for?”  *chuckles*  Oh my God...

“I give you-”  *does small verbal keyboard smash when the ta-da fanfare stock sound goes off*

“QUEUE!”  *laughs*

*Bruce gets carted out*  Oh my God.

*mouths along with Jerome saying “Or better yet.... a boom?,” dramatic hand gesture included*

*The cannon gets rolled out*  They’re gonna shoot his ass out of a cannon?!?

*laughs*  Yeah, like Jerome’s gonna fly out of a cannon!

NO, Y’KNOW WHAT?!?  I would pay good money to see that though!

*legitimately trying not to cry laughing*  I can just see Cameron Monaghan going *makes flying sound effect*

No, like they’re gonna bada bing bada boom [shoot Bruce with the cannon]

Oh OK.

*laughs*

OK, y’know what, I would have bought it either way!

*keels over laughing*  I’m just imagining Cameron Monaghan.... WHHHEEEEEUUUU!!!

AN:  Please God someone draw this, I’m begging you.

“NAILED IT” AS HE [Jerome] POURS IN NAILS!

*both yell in horror at Jerome pouring various kitchen knifes into the cannon*

“Whatever you do, please, definitely try this at home.  Preferably on a family member.”  *wheezes*

“WHOOO!  DOGGIE!”  Somebody saw “Dr. Strangelove.”

Cameron’s like “Yes, I’m getting PAID!”

“Ready, partner?”  *hits desk with hat*

*Alfred starts beating up cult members*  Go Alfred!

Go Alfred!

*mutters*  You magnificent boss, you...

*both laugh when Jerome’s hat gets shot off*

*Jerome sets off the cannon fuse*  Oooooooooohhhhhhh!!

*yells*

*Bruce starts to pick the handcuffs off*  C’mon, Bruuuuuuucceee.... c’mon, Bruuuuucccceee...

C’mon, last handcuff.  You got this.

*Bruce loses one of the staples*  Oooohhhhhhh!!!

Knock the thing [the stand that Bruce is on] over!  Knock the thing over!  Knock it over so at least you’re out of range!

Well he has one more [staple] though in his wrist.  Or does he?  Yeah, he has one more!

*in unison*  C’mon, c’mon c’mon c’mon c’mon c’mon c’mon!

*jaws drop when Jim and Alfred discover the remnants of the staff that Bruce barely escaped from*

HOLY CRAP!

He broke it?!?

I guess...

Oh no, we gotta back to this [Ed and Oswald drama]!  *hits leg with hat*  Nooooo!!

“I [Oswald] I underestimated you, Barbara.”  *sarcastically*  NAAAHHH, really?!?

I hate that dress [the striped one Barbara wears].  I hate that dress so much.

Holy crap,  ooooohhhh... that’s from Tabitha’s whip [the mark on Oswald’s neck]!

Ooooohhhh... euugghhh...

“So I [Oswald] help you [Barbara] find Ed... things go better for me... I don’t know, you kill me?  That about it?”  That’s just about the sound of it.

“Yeah.”  Yeah.

*Bruce runs into the Mirror Maze*  Oohhhhhhhhh...

Oooohhhhh here we go.

“Bruce, darling.”  *points excitedly at screen*

This is the scene!

This is the one “Dark Knight Returns” homage I will ever accept.

*Jerome in front of the mirrors*  OH MY GOOOOSSSHHH!  Look at that!

That’s awesome.

That is amazing!

That is the coolest damn thing.

Ooooooooooooohhhhh!!

*Bruce comes into the frame*  Whooooo hoo hooo hooooo!!

*shocked*  Oh shit!

“You’re [Jerome] going to pay for what you’ve done.”  *snaps fingers excitedly*

Daaamn, son!

“What’s going on?  [Oswald] You have a weird look on your face.   Like, weirder than normal.”  *scoffs in hilarity*

“Oswald, you loved him, and he [Ed] betrayed you.”  Kill him!  Kill the love you feel!  Prove that death is stronger than love!  And you can have your own life again!

Yes, I quoted “Once on This Island,“ what of it?

“But I killed Isabella... because I wouldn’t share him.”  Yeah, no shit, eh?

“Ed said love is sacrifice.”  *buries face in hat*

“I shoudl have been able to sacrifice my happiness for his.”  It took you this long?!?

*both shook when Ed walks in*

[Oswald] You are so dead now...

“You’re [Ed and Barbara] in this together.”  Yeah, no shit, eh?

“I [Ed] wanted you [Oswald] to die knowing that you were incapable of loving another person.”  “But I can.  I just proved that, right?!?”  No, you didn’t.

You notice that Bruce is like right beside him [Jerome]!

Yep.

“Let’s do this mano y mano.... my little conquistador [Bruce].”  Ahhhhh, don’t call him that.

*gasps when Bruce tackles Jerome from behind*

Shit!

“What kind of hero tackles someone from behind?!?”  *chuckles in shock*

*gasps when Bruce beats Jerome to the ground and starts the beatdown*

Keep going!

*Bruce picks up a piece of glass to stab Jerome with*  Oh shit!

*both too much in the moment to say anything when Bruce decides not to kill Jerome*

*out of breath*  Go Alfred...

C’mon, Alfred!

*both raise our hands and cheer when Bruce runs to hug Alfred*

*Jerome stumbles out toward Bruce and Alfred*  OoOOhhhhh!!  Ohhhh boy...

Take his ass out!  He’s not gonna last much longer!

*yells in shock when Jim runs up and punches Jerome*

*both yell and reel back in horror/disgust when Jerome’s face gets punched off*

*trying not to laugh*  His face is back off!

His face...

*in unison, with fancy hand gesture*  Off!

*giggles*  Had to lighten the mood somehow.

HE [Jim] JUST PUNCHED A DUDE’S FACE OFF!

*laughs*  How often can you literally say that?

I KNOW!

“[Harvey] You wish I [Jim] would’ve shot him [Jerome]?”  “Eh, he’d probably just come back from the dead again.”  “Probably.”  *both stifle a laugh*

“At least you [Jim] get to say you punched a man’s face off.”  Exactly!

EEeeyyyyyyyy!

*grumbles and hits desk with hat*  But Jeremiah dies in the next season.

Jeremiah?

*keels over*  SON OF A-

*evil laugh*

There’s twins!  Shut up!

“Well, got to say the clown makeup was way more terrifying than the damage underneath, Master Bruce.”  Pfft.

“Did I [Alfred] ever tell you that I don’t like clowns?”  *bug eyes in horror*

*whispers*  You’re not gonna like Jeremiah then.

He’s less clownish than [Jerome]

True.

I love this orange lighting

“Shall I [Alfred] tell you [Bruce] what I thought?  I thought how proud I was of you.”  *puts hands to chest*

“Of the man you’ve become.”  *smiles*

“I almost killed him, Alfred.”  But you didn’t.

“But if you [Bruce] keep going, you’re gonna need rules.”  Vengeance blackens the soul, Master Bruce.  You walk the edge of that abyss every night, but you haven’t fallen over, and I thank heaven for that.

*softly*  This is that scene!

“I will not kill.”  *both raise our hands in anticipation*

SAY IT!

“Say it again.”  Say it, c’mon...

C’mon!

“I will not kill.”  *both clap hands toward screen*

YAAAASSSSS!!

My sweet badass bab!

*in dramatic Batman voice*  Sad Boy... is now... Vengeful Boy!

*laughs*

*about falls out of chair reeling back*  OH SNAP THE CLONE!

*bug eyes*

*throws hat at screen*

“I [Five] still don’t understand how I can help save Gotham.”  His voice is different!

Yeah.

That’s the doppleganger theme!

Oh shit, son!

OOOOO-OOOOHHHH!!

*Someone knocks on Jim’s door.”  Have a drink first.  No wait, you’re gonna need that.

*softly*  God damn, this freaking pier...

“Ed...I love you.”  *both so done*

“I... don’t... love you.”  *snaps fingers in agreement*

“You need me, Edward Nygma!”  No he doesn’t!

“When I [Oswald] met you [Ed], you were a nervous, jittery, loser!”  :[

“I created Edward Nygma!”  You’re full of shit

AN:  Oswald kinda has a point though.  Just sayin’...

You see him [Oswald] spitting up foam?!?

“You can’t do this...”  Yes he damn well can.

“Ed, are you listening to me?”  “...I’m listening...“  NO!  Don’t listen to him!

*both raise our eyebrows in shock when Ed shoots Oswald*

*laughs*  AND WE NEVER SEE HIM AGAIN!

Push him in!  Push him in!

*Ed pushes Oswald into the river*  YEEEEEEESSSS...

*sings*  IF YOU LOVE ME, LET ME GOOOO-OOOO-OOOOO!!

*slow jams to Penguin’s theme playing as Oswald sinks to the bottom*

Go to hell, Oswald.  I know he lives but let me have this.

*jams the crap out to the ending theme*

[vesuviannights]

ohhh my gooddd oh my GOD OH MY GOD oH my gODDDDDD ohhhh myyyy goddddddd

Drunk Asra is still adorable…..from the Minor Arcana Art Book

[draven-kondraki]

ohhh my god ohhhh my godddddd