#bc the point is that they want a man on the throne. it is rooted in sexism shut the fuck up

[atopvisenyashill]

“saying rhaenyra is heir and the greens usurped the throne because they hate women is not true it’s more complicated than that.”

andal law is based on the hatred of women, the subjugation of women, and the upholding of violent patriarchy and bigotry as above reproach because it’s “proper.” the greens make the argument that andal law should prevail even tho the great council rejects andal law and also could have very well meant - as viserys clearly takes it to mean - that what matters is not the gender of the heir but that the heir is chosen & acclaimed by whoever sits the throne. jaehaerys chose baelon, then viserys over rhaenys and the council backed him, ergo, viserys has the right to name rhaenyra his heir and expect the backing of the lords. it’s not what ultimately happens - and viserys and rhaenyra assuming the lords will just back this reading bc viserys said so is at best an incredibly naive thing to think - but it is a perfectly valid reading of the great council’s decision, and otto specifically uses this line of thinking to cut daemon out of the succession and name rhaenyra heir when it pleases him, then switches over to “only men can sit the throne” when she’s no longer a convenient pawn in his game of thrones.

it doesn’t matter if aegon ii’s “claim” is greater than rhaenyra’s based on andal law or on a specific reading of the great council’s decision, because both andal law and jaehaerys’ decisions are based in hatred of women and violent misogyny so yes, the greens usurp rhaenyra based on misogyny actually, they just hide it behind the idea of andal law and propriety and precedent because misogyny and patriarchy are considered proper in their minds.

also, aegon and criston spend all their free time calling rhaenyra a whore and a cunt for doing the exact same shit that aegon himself does so let’s not pretend like team green isn’t bogged down in sexism re: their decision to usurp the throne from viserys’ chosen heir. you don’t get to have the leaders of your faction walking around saying shit like “He had nothing against women, Lord Borros went on to say; he loved his girls, a daughter is a precious thing…but a son, ahhh…” and claim that the greens aren’t motivated by the exact same sexism that makes Jaehaerys pass over Rhaenys twice over as his heir.

[melrosing]

2.07 thoughts

liked the Rhaenyra and Jace convo but feel like they could’ve managed a better build to this + drawn it out a bit more. love that Jace needs to lean into targ supremacy more than anyone bc what else does he have etc, but there’s so much they could’ve done w that in earlier eps showing where he feels insufficient and self conscious of his heritage and the lowkey resentment towards Rhaenyra for it. would also like to have seen Rhaenyra defend herself, resulting in more tangible fracture between them. she’s so diplomatic on absolutely everything and we’re near the end of S2 now! PLEASE let d’arcy do more w this role

liked the saera mention!

liked aegon rehab and larys basically tormenting him into reclaiming his role, like instead of having it thrust upon him as per S1 (which I did think was a good place to start Aegon as a character) maybe he will seize it this time bc if he doesn’t have the power of the iron throne then what does he have etc, he will never know peace, his son is gone, and so on

Alicent lake scene sure did happen. but I felt nothing like it felt lazy sorry what exactly were they trying to convey. I like being able to read my own meaning into scenes but this was like they were actively relying on the audience to do so

hilarious watching a bunch of actors in bad wigs walking into dragonstone really enjoyed that

however I think it really speaks to how little they know what to do with Rhaenyra’s interiority that you have her watching on as Vermithor burns and demolishes all the poor people she herself stuck in front of him and like. what are we supposed to understand is going through her head. she’s just fucking staring lol. and then before she can even reflect Vermithor is successfully claimed so all’s well that ends well. like my god please can someone write Rhaenyra

Daemon and the riverlords ok I liked Oscar Tully fine. but I think they’re lacking the adventure w Daemon’s interiority that they seemed to promise in the first few eps. like if you want to compare to OG bad incest man redemption anti hero Jaime Lannister and his OWN riverlands adventure….. like im sorry but this doesn’t even compare lmao

liked the dragon keepers arguing w Rhaenyra and fucking off outta there. like the framing of the dragons as gods and smallfolk claiming them as blasphemy and the way they maybe feel like Jace in that if anyone can claim these beasts maybe they’re just glorified zookeepers

excited that we get to see Dreamfyre?

v excited to see what they do w Daeron

that’s it though I was really rooting for this series but I think you can really tell they were rushing to meet deadlines and had to make a bunch of last minute edits. It’s been a 6/10 on average for me so far w a 7/10 for the high points and a 4/10 for the low. and I can’t really believe that was the penultimate episode where it’s supposed to feel everything is really coming to ahead whereas actually it feels more like the midpoint of a few fumbled arcs

[honuofhawaii]

So I just read an interesting article that explains that the House of the Dragon TV show is altering things in order to demonstrate how the patriarchy is to blame for the Dance of the Dragons.

They are doing this by following the woman’s perspective, and thereby demonstrating how it’s Viserys that leads them into the Dance through his weakness.

Some of the changes have included making Rhaenyra and Alicent close childhood companions. And then proceed to have Viserys not notice, or at least do nothing about the fact that him marrying Alicent drove a wedge into their friendship.

There’s an emphasis placed on Rhaenys’s dismissed claim that there isn’t in the book. They took an instance of systemic misogyny where she wasn’t held in serious consideration as a woman, to making her one of the main contenders and then passed over.

We get to see a warmth in Rhaenyra and in Alicent which isn’t going to be written about by the men recording history.

The way “Fire and Blood” is written leaves a great deal to interpretation and reading between the lines, as the accounts are from deliberately biased sources. And so some of these changes are valid interpretations however I want to point out some of the pitfalls that HBO has either already fallen into, or may fall into in the future.

The Dance of the Dragons, is a serious blow to the power and strength of House Targaryen. HBO is presenting it as something spurred on by Otto Hightower and more importantly allowed to fester by Visery’s weakness.

Specifically that he isn’t stronger in his defense of Rhaenyra’s claim. He fails to notice and/or bridge the gap between his daughter and wife when they were childhood friends, he neglects his children with Alicent which allows resentment to grow. He kind of keeps shielding from problems, forbidding speech about them rather than getting to the root of the issue (why is Alicent so concerned with Rhaenyra’s children’s parentage?). He just wants her questions to go away.

We also get Rhaenys’s line that “men would rather put the realm to the torch than see a woman on the Iron Throne.” Outlining that the problem is that men won’t accept a ruling Queen under any circumstances.

In trying to emphasize the role the patriarchy creates the Dance in obvious ways, HBO is undermining the point. They are showing “men don’t trust women to rule so they fight to stop woman from ruling, and if a man wants to change that he has to be strong about it.”

While the Patriarchy sometimes is exactly this: “Women are second class citizens.” Or “women are no different than animals and just have a human shape to not scare men” (some paraphrasing from our world today 2022. Please let me take a moment to beg that people pay attention to what is going on in Iran. Woman, Life, Freedom)

The Patriarchy is often more subtle than these overt misogynistic practices.

Rhaenys is a great example. In the books she’s not really considered for the throne bc she’s a woman. That’s Misogyny built into the world view of the people making the decision. However in the show they make a point if calling her the top contender with Viserys. And then say they didn’t choose her. With the implied (bc she’s a woman).

From the perspective of understanding House of the Dragon as an adaptation of Fire and Blood I think it’s unfair to make Viserys the bad guy in the breakdown of Rhaenyra and Alicent’s friendship, since in the source material, that close childhood friendship didn’t exists. (Obviously in the show and only in the show, yeah it’s really fucked up that he married his daughter’s best friend, shattered their relationship and barely lifted a figure to help mend the rift he created). But this is an example of HBO trying to show a man breaking the friendship between women rather than addressing a more complicated topic of marriage, and step parents and the difficulties that ensue when inheritance is at steak and playing into the relationships. (Them being childhood friends should just add another layer, but instead it flattens it to basically just that broken friendship)

Also the show runners made some comments about how even after being named heir, no one listens to Rhaenyra, nothings really changed, she’s just the cup bearer. They completely ignore two things. One, that she wasn’t the cup bearer before becoming heir in the book. Second, she becomes the cup bearer so that she can learn how to rule and govern. (You know the same reason Jon Snow was made a steward. He gets pissed about it until Sam points out ‘you know that’s how you learn to command right? By being in the meetings, hearing what’s done, taking letters’) relegating Rhaenyra’s position as a cup bearer to a state of her being walked over, is frustrating.

Okay now I’m going to talk about what I think lead to the Dance, and how it has its roots in patriarchy and misogyny but in a way that is more complicated than some men thinking women shouldn’t rule.

The Faith of the Seven has been opposing Targaryen rule since Aegon I. (Though not overtly, but rebellions breaking out the moment he died cannot be blamed on Aenys). Men hold the power in the Faith. Sure there are women, but septa’s don’t seem to lead anything except for women’s education. The silent sisters literally are meant never to speak and are know as brides of the stranger. There’s a high septon. They are generally far harsher on women for so called sexual transgressions than men. It’s just generally gross.

The Maester’s are heavily influenced by the faith. Probably due to their headquarters being in the same place Old Town. (Well untill Baelor brought the high septon to Kings Landing). They are also sexist. Only men can study at the citadel. Furthermore, the Maester are for the most part against magic, and general pursuit of knowledge of which they disapprove. (You know how Sam gets warned not to bring up the Others or else he might just get poison in his porage). The Maesters are well positioned to influence how things progress bc they are in change of Medicine and education.

There are a lot of Targaryen’s that die of mysterious bad bellies over the years. People who have the ability to strengthen House Targaryen suddenly die leaving succession to a weaker person, or completely in doubt.

The Maesters don’t like magic and the Targaryen’s are incredibly magical. It makes sense that there might at least be a certain level of conspiracy against them.

Here’s where the patriarchy comes in. Magic challenges the current power structure. It doesn’t matter if a dragon rider is a man or a woman, they can still burn an army if they want to.

The result of the Dance isn’t just that a woman doesn’t take the Iron Throne. The result is that House Targaryen looses a lot of the magic that allowed them to challenge the status quo.

Basically I think they should have focused less on “oh men think women are inferior” and more on ways in which House Targaryen challenged an already strongly Patriarchal society and so there were several forces working to turn the house against itself.

(Okay I’m going to end this here, it probably needs some reworking, but I just needed to get my thoughts out. Feel free to comment suggestions, arguments, objections and whatnot)

[missgeniality]

A Work Of Art (m)

“In our life there is a single color, as on an artist’s palette, which provides the meaning of life and art. It is the color of love.” - Marc Chagall

➺ Banner: The lovely @dee-ehn 💕

➺ Pairing: Jimin x Female Reader

➺ Genre: PWP, Smut, Slightest Angst

➺ Rating: 18+

➺ Word Count: 7.3k

➺ Summary: You surprise Jimin with his Filter outfit; and then some.

➺ Warnings: tongues get tired in this fic, dom!jimin, we talk about spit, some biting, jimin loves praise, lingerie n stuff, nipple play, oral sex (m&f receiving), we talk more about spit, some bondage is involved, degrading names, blindfolds, spanking (maybe too much, don’t look @ me), light choking, light face-fucking, cum eating, we talk even more about spit, hickeys galore, some edging?, unprotected sex (don’t do it kids, not even for Jimin)

➺ Author’s Note: (repost bc tags, you know how it is) huge s/o to @ilikemesometaetaes for making time to beta read this monstrosity 💜 thank youuuu! Also thanks to @honeiibeehobi, @kithtaehyung for helping me with the many many details & @ppersonna​for hyping up this idea or else it would have never seen the light of day ;_; lol i will come back to edit this cuz this didnt let me focus on my paper due tonight so if you see a spelling mistake or tense error umm no you didnt 👀

do let me know your thoughts!! the smallest feedback goes a long way! 💛💛

This is the first part of my Dress Down series, find more at it’s masterlist!

Y/N: soooooo, I did a thing. JM: is the dishwasher flooding our kitchen again? Y/N: -_- i’ll give you two more guesses. JM: oh no. you picked up a dog from the street again.  Y/N: come onn!! JM: y/n, last time you picked one up, HE HAD AN OWNER Y/N: you’re down to your last try, or else i’m taking this off. JM: … JM: so its something you have on? 😏 Y/N: pic_210124.jpg JM: holy shit JM: wait wait fuck JM: keep the door unlocked.

“You like?”

The bob in his Adam’s apple wordlessly conveys the answer you’re looking for.

A crisp, white, button down shirt, tucked into black trousers, topped off with a panama hat that matches your top half is the view Jimin comes home to. Your dress pays homage to Jimin’s Filter outfit - actually, the exact one - the one that showcased his immaculate dance moves, the one that exposes his delicious collarbones, the one that brings the irresistible urge to bite your way up his neck - the one he eventually rids. 

If you had to pick a color, he is a flustered orange, bright and blushing, turned on by the indecent implication of your very decent outfit.

You’re on the counter, one leg crossed over the other, accentuating the swell of your ass. Landing on the pads of your feet, you take a few steps towards the man with the unhinged jaw.

“Babe.” a mellow croak - Jimin can’t get a whole sentence out without saliva pooling and obstructing his speech. “You, in my clothes… fuck.” 

Chuckling at his very obvious loss of words, you give him a twirl, allowing him to fully soak in your outfit.

“Was waiting for you.”

Three long strides and you were in his arms, a pair of lips desperate to invade your space and claim you. An Angel on your shoulder tells you to give in; after all, this is the end result - what you both want. 

However, the Devil on the other side, no no no. It wants you to make him suffer. To get revenge for all the times you were taken control of. It remembers all the days he turned you on with shoot photographs and all the nights he brought you to the brink only to stop you from tipping over with a cocky smirk and a cheeky wink. 

The Devil was created from the moments when you thought you would actually erupt, begging for release, only to be shoved aside with a single growl of ‘don’t you fucking dare.’ 

Your desire to please him effectively silenced the Devil and kept it at bay. But no more. All those times built up and gave your Devil the power to force its way against your will to restrain it, causing it to rise to the surface.

You will have the upper hand. 

So you push him away, keeping him at an arm’s length for your safety to have him on his toes. Forlorn eyes meet your steely ones, and you physically stop yourself from giving in to his puppy gaze - those eyes can turn icy and sultry when nailing you into the bed like his rent depended on it. 

“Sit there. I have a-” You turn to switch on some music, “-small present for you.”

“If the small present isn’t me folding you in half and fucking you till sunrise,” He sits with visible reluctance, irises slowly transforming into magma orbs, “I don’t want it.”

“Well, we’ll see… Depends on how you behave.”

On a normal day, this comment would have lit your ass on fire, pronto.

Today isn’t a normal day at all. 

You stride on, every noiseless step you take leaving a wreckage of nerves behind, ignoring the smoldering gaze he has locked on you- you are unsure whether he is deciding your punishment or simply admiring how his clothes fit on your body.

You stand on the side, drinking him in. 

From your viewpoint, this is ridiculous. Those cursed jeans, vacuumed onto his thighs, ensure your eyes don’t miss a single ridge. His legs are spread out, beckoning you to have a seat, and the Angel once again begs for some reprieve. He knows what he’s doing; knows you inside and out- knows you couldn’t miss a chance to ride him like this. The wicked smirk flashing back at you is confirmation. 

But you stymy that thought at its root. Walking behind, you wrap your arms around him to faintly buss his cheek. 

“Sooo I was watching Filter…” 

Jimin hums against your feeble touch. He wants more. The soft wind of your breath routing through his jeweled ear sends a wave of goosebumps down his spine. From behind, you run your hands over his sinewy biceps, taut in restraint - holding themselves back against the suffering you are putting him through. 

“You do know how fucking hot you looked, right?” You playfully let your tongue toy with the hanging ornament, the briefest of flicks causing Jimin’s shoulders to push back, trying to connect with your bosom.

With a crooked finger under his jaw, you bring him to meet your eyes- eyes that are adorned with layered shadows of deep maroons, a variety of colors blending into your skin tone, eyelashes piqued up and ready to reach the clouds.

“So pretty…” He whispers out as you place your hat on its rightful throne - Jimin’s head.

A lone digit traces the lines of art you etched for him, appreciating every single stroke you put in to make a memorable time. Warm merigold rays bloom in your chest in response to his gaze, with him looking at you like you invented the sky. Pupils are dilated, and the only reason you can see each other is because of the practically nonexistent distance between you.

His eyes pick up on your tapering resolve to keep him in line. A light quiver of need passing your lips as you hopelessly vie for dominance is what most likely gives you away. 

Grabbing you by the neck, he pulls you into a deep kiss, plunging his tongue into you with reckless abandon like he was a nomad all this while and your mouth has finally claimed him home. Your neck strains at the awkward angle and surely even his is hurting, but the pressure of his hand is unrelenting.

His tongue searches and searches, desperately looking for a part in you he has not yet explored. You’d think the years of togetherness would have diminished this fiery attraction but no, he comes onto you like he has a mission to prove - to validate his love for you, to plead you to be his. You would happily accept this shower of affection, returning it with due interest.

With great difficulty you part, a string of spit still connecting your lips because he has not let you move far enough. “Uh-uh. Be good.” You pout a little, breaking character.

“You’re here. In my clothes. A walking dream. How the fuck am I to be good?” He pulls you back in to continue what you cut short but you break the line of spit and his intention with a hand wedged between your faces. 

“I asked you a question, Mister.” Back on your cocky nature, you graze your lips against oh-so-lightly, barely giving him anything to feel, but the tingling on his skin shows he can feel it all.

The adoration moves into a competition, “You tell me, sweetness - how did I look?”

It’s always the praise. He loves it when you struggle to tell him his dick was crafted by the heavens when you’re choking on it, but he still makes you do it. You stutter and stumble your words when his lips smack against your cunt, devouvering and digging for the treasure of your cum, but he forces you to tell him. When you sit on his dick, your brain has no sense of diction or direction, only chasing the high at his mercy, but he makes you scream it out loud, letting everyone beyond the pearly gates know, between moans and wails, that only he can break you down this way. 

“This shirt, sweetie.” Your nose trails the path between his collar and the ends of his hair, basking in the sweet vanilla scent, “You’re all covered. Why, pray tell,” You dig your teeth into the point where his shoulder meets his neck, “does this sole patch of skin turn me on so bad?”

He sucks in an inhale through his clenched teeth, his stunning visage devoid of any virtue. His head is thrown back, hat toppling over in the movement and giving you a larger canvas to mark, an opportunity you happily grasp. The mellifluous tones he is producing is recorded in your mind for lonelier nights to come. 

“And the red suit? Fuck, your corseted waist?” At the corner of your eye you see his fingers clenching into a fist, your lush voice making it harder and harder for him to breathe. 

You slowly stride forward, painfully slow, letting him notice every single muscle of your body curving to his unspoken command, undoing one button at a time until your torso is revealed- and shows the true purpose of your scarlet eye makeup. 

A deep burgundy camisole, ribbed at the waist to accentuate the way your hips flow has Jimin salivating to no end. The strappy number, with carmine ribbons flowing into your yet to be removed bottom half- a deed Jimin intends on rectifying very, very soon- calls to him sinfully. The lingerie twists and ties in incomprehensible ways, but the amount of cleavage it gives you is ungodly. 

If they weren’t already, Jimin’s eyes are now wide open.

Time comes to a standstill as he checks out your whole figure, taking in every embroidered pattern on the lingerie and every embellishment on your breasts. Before, you were already a five-star meal, but now? An emperor’s feast. 

The little flower right on top of your nipple has Jimin’s attention. His thumb comes up to trace the bedecked rose, following the stitched line of stem that takes him to the peak, then drawing over petal by petal. Each time he reaches close to your hardened nub, he abstains from crossing over it, making your nipple hardens imperceptibly under the presentiment of any relief and the disappointment when nothing arrives. His other hand, sitting on your waist, coaxes you to straddle him while he plays gardner on your bust.

“Jimin…” Your nipple, finally finding solace under his thumb, is not faring too well under the attention. Your plan of teasing him is slipping through your fingers like sand.

“Tell me baby, what do you want?” His finger is now tracing the seams of your lingerie cups, admiring the way they frame your ample bosom. Things are progressing too slow for your liking, and you come clean with your ignoble intentions. 

“Please, I just want to suck you off.”

A wad of spit lands directly into your cleavage, followed by two thick fingers penetrating the lubed entrance. 

“Nope.” His fingers continue to shallowly fuck your cleavage. Neither of you are being touched in the erogenous zone, but why does it feel so good? Your valley is inundated with his dribble, coating your ensemble and shifting shades to a deep cerise. Every pump of his nimble fingers between your breasts is like a promise of what your pussy is going to go through. Will he fuck you hard and fast with your voice echoing across the room, making every neighbor privy of your sexual escapedes? Will he be slow and gentle, penetrate you with utmost care, soft gasps and whines only sounded to the two of you? You can never guess.

In the aphrodisiac moment, you forgot that you were supposed to take charge. 

“Please, please, please! I did so much,” You take the guilt route. If Jimin was anything, he was a just and fair man. “Can’t I get that much?”

Jimin’s gaze has not left your wet cleavage. A flit of his eye makes contact with yours and goes back to the fucking - that is enough language for you to understand his needs. You bend low, and spit out a fat glob onto your chest to add to the mess he has already made. The groan that leaves him is ungodly, and he licks the spit you unloaded onto yourself, spreading it all over your expensive wear. He slurps like you released sweetened water to a parched traveller, your bosom holding all the sweetness to itself.

Gathering your thoughts is more difficult than you could ever imagine. The cloth over your nipples is completely soaked, bitten into and sticking to your skin thanks to the vacuum Jimin pulled on them. Your back has had a workout, every vertebrae bent to its maximum possibility. Chiropractors are so last year, you just have your boyfriend ravish your breasts.

“Once I’m done, you can do whatever you want.”

All of your five brain cells had to be put in action to form that sentence. The moment the words left your lips, the pressure your breasts were on had been released, but you could still feel lips against you, stretching into a snarky smirk.

“Whatever?” His grip on your waist tightens, seating you more firmly onto his taut thighs. 

Whatever. That stupidly amazing word. 

“Saying ‘whatever’ always lands you in trouble. Have you forgotten?” His damp lips are tracing your collarbones, nibbles whenever he felt appropriate. How does he expect you to form a damned sentence like this, the Devil on your shoulder indignantly asks. The Angel on the other has gone back in time to fetch memories filed under the term ‘whatever’, strictly saved for your quality alone-time. 

The first time you told him to do ‘whatever he wants’ was fairly early into your relationship. Sex was as vanilla as the ice cream tastebud-less people liked, and none of you ever pushed it too far. A happy, drunken night with a loose-lipped confession from him. 

“God, the things I want to do to you…” he had muffled into your hair, maybe not even intended for your ears to pick up. 

A cheeky giggle had bubbled out of your tipsy self. “Like what, tie me up?”

If Jimin then were a color, he was a pantone pink. Blushed cheeks from the alcohol and the realization that you had caught him, airbrushed with a depth you weren’t able to put in place that early in the relationship. Wide-eyed horror was shown in its place, possibly exaggerated to add to the denial he had landed himself in. 

“No no, of course, I don’t mean it like that, what ar-”

“Why not?”

The animal that awoke after confirming with you fifteen times was a force to be reckoned with. Your bra had turned into rope, wrists bound behind as he roughly squished your helpless cheeks. 

“You will tell me when to stop, right?” His tongue peeked lightly, brushing your top lip, taking the perspiration away.

“Uhmf-yufh!” 

“God, you’re gonna regret this baby.” 

But it was exactly the opposite. You got the railing of a lifetime, heard the filthiest words that could leave the lips of such a courteous man - a side you had not expected at all. You couldn’t possibly recollect every single move he made, but what you can recollect with excruciating detail is every feeling you felt that night. It was filled with lust, with revelations of the new ways your body could bend, a night of puppetry where Jimin played you like the master your body craved. The following day was Jimin taking care of you, big puppy eyes wondering whether he took it too far. In his daze of letting go of control, he couldn’t take in your lidded stare, heaving with satisfaction - so you made sure he could witness them when he took you the next time that morning.

The other time the wretched word was mentioned was during an argument. You’re not jealous of Jimin on stage - it’s his career and you were one of the girls offering one of their kidneys to be able to catch a glimpse of him. 

But your workspace? That’s where you draw the line. 

She was a random worker. Some third-floor low-lying soul. You were eighth-floor premium material (the floors didn’t decide shit, but no one can tell you what skyscraper semantics you can craft in your brain). A lifeless party that even Jimin’s colorful locks couldn’t color up. 

This random worker was very enamored by Jimin (as she should, the man is a whole nine-course meal). Supportive fans are not what get you jealous either. 

But the limit is when placed her scrawny fingers on Jimin’s hand, drawing the glass in his grip to her lips and took a sip from it. If her lashes were fanned they could blow a man away (which is probably more than what her puny mouth could possibly do). The fume exiting your ears could have been in bright red for all you care, because every office member had been rightfully annoyed. 

The whole car ride back was filled with your drunken blabbers about the different ways you could skin her. The actual victim beside you was not making a nearly big enough deal out of it, intending to let you get rid of your temper.

“She fucking knew!” Your normally clean disposition had taken its leave after the fuming temper took real estate in your brain, and you aimlessly threw your heel at some corner of the house - hungover self shall have to deal with this angry mess you’ve made. Wait, you’re an angry mess too.. “The gall she had, I should jus-”

You march towards the door, in hopes of what, you don’t know. But if you didn’t take action you’ll probably explode. Any action, just anything. You never find out though, because a strong arm slithered around your waist and halted your expedition. 

“Calm down, feisty. Where are you going now?” His soothing voice, punctuated with a mocking chuckle almost quelled the fire in you. Almost. 

But you’re not done being an idiot. 

“To go find her for you. You’d fuck the living daylights out of her, right?”

The loudest silence you have ever encountered. Jimin’s grip on your waist tightened to the point where it could have hurt. Like he was trying to push every iota of that thought out of your body. From behind, you can hear a deep breath dragging, and somewhere in your irate head you knew you had struck a nerve, a bad one. Jimin is forced to expel any anger bubbling in him, trying to use reason with an unreasonable recipient. 

“Princess, you don’t actually think I’d do that right?”

“I don’t know!” Your misplaced anger had reached the rooftops. Jimin had done nothing wrong here except try to calm an increasingly livid girlfriend. “Maybe you’d love that. Her itty-bitty waist, that whore’s outfit she had on. You call me a whore right? Maybe she’s more worthy of you!” 

“Y/N.”

The timbre of his voice had completely changed. The breathy, airy aura had completely departed from your name he had just called. The lack of nicknames raised some hair at the nape of your neck, but you’re a stubborn one. 

“Ugh, I don’t care.”

You tried to walk back to your room, head still reeling in a palace of inferno, burning everything that dares to intrude your path - but somehow, you had been pushed to a wall, and the eyes of the man you loved had turned feral. 

If Jimin was a color, he was green - igniting with fury, anger repressed in dark shadows that never made the light of the day until pushed - but you pushed all right. And now released from its shackles, it has surrounded you and slammed you against the wall - and you have nowhere to go. 

“You’re my whore. Is that a complaint from my stupid, stupid whore?”

The only joint you’re free to move is your neck, and your gratuitous self decided to rebel with whatever degree of freedom you have. Turning your face away to not meet his seething eyes, you continue your rebel-without-a-cause tantrum.

“Whatever.” you carped out.

Again, with that stupid word, you had signed your fate for the night. 

Usually, you can express your feelings. Be it pain or pleasure (sometimes the two packed in one), you could wail it out to the heavens and respite would follow. 

Usually, you can see the torments laid out on you. Jimin’s lithe body performing every obscene spell he invoked is a treat for your eyes. He treats your body like an artisan, using any medium to paint his art on you.

But that day, you were stripped of them both, and made to realize what a privilege they were.

Mouth stuffed with your bunched up panties, eyes blinded by his tie of the evening, you could only rely on the sensors on your skin to somehow predict what was going to be done to you. And you failed. Every single time. Every thwack fell on a new area. Every teasing touch tickled you at a new place. Nothing could begin to prepare you for his next move and you couldn’t keep up with his tameless pace.

He made you beg through the makeshift gag, beg to let you come, then beg to stop coming, beg for every orifice of yours to be filled by his seed and then beg to get cleaned by him. With the first rays of morning sunlight, language was an illusion, time was an out-of-reach concept, and all you knew was the worshipping of last night.

Whatever is a word. Whatever is mean. Whatever is filthy. Whatever is nailing you into the bed and rendering you immobile for the entire day. Whatever may just be a word to anyone, but to you it is what has you losing sense of reality, giving in to a phantasm of your wildest dreams. 

A wet tap on your cheek brings you back from you imagining the past - the fingers that were fucking your cleavage are squishing your cheeks, bringing your attention back from all your dirty memories to the present - to create another memory to add to your folder. 

If Jimin is a color, he is the darkest of all blacks. This is where everything pious comes to meet its sordid end. His sultry gaze is reading your eyes, searching for where you got lost, which shared memories of passed time made you melt into the puddle that you are right now. 

“I said, don’t you remember? ‘Whatever’?”

Let’s see. You don’t have work tomorrow. You don’t have any commitments. You don’t have to meet anyone. 

So there is no reason for you to be able to move. 

“Hmmmmn, I don’t seem to recall - you could remind me.”

Dark, dark chuckles from such a cherubic face. You flounder off his lap to shuck your (his) pants away, revealing the matching maroon garter belt set. The whole outfit is an ode to Jimin’s mid performance transformation, the one that made many people’s hearts skip a quick beat. His slim, cinched waist, the flared pants flowing down his frame were one for the books, and you’d like to think your rendition has its place too. 

Giving him a quick spin, you attempt to get down to business - but Jimin pulls you back on his lap. Without the pants, you can feel it - his hard, thick cock straining against the tough jean fabric and still making its presence known. 

“Tell me more, baby. What did you like?”

The man was a sucker for your praise. 

You were a sucker for the whole man. 

But the sucking will probably have to wait. 

“I loved your expressions. You’re so sexy on stage, fuck. Going around and giving bedroom eyes to the world.” 

His hand gripping you ass gives it a quick pinch, but voice just let out a lazy hum to get you to continue.

“The choreography,”, your whisper is strained, “you dance like you fuck baby. So sensual, so sexy.”

You lick a stripe up his neck, from his artistic collarbones to the back of his ear, the sensitive spot that makes him hiss is arousal. You stay there, wanting to whisper the next few lines. The world didn’t need to know your thirst for this. 

“You know my favorite part?” 

“Oh, tell me.” His voice is hitting lower and lower in pitch, much like it’s hitting you lower and lower in your body. 

You place the hand framing his face on his neck - the same one you want to cover in blooms of purple and red, lightly squeezing, letting him preen under the pressure. The tightness has Jimin’s head falling back on the headrest, and you can feel his pulse hastening to accommodate for the lacking oxygen in his stream. 

Letting go of his throat, and pleased to see the lightest indentation on his beautiful pale skin, you snake your hands downward. 

“Na, na, na,” Inching slowly towards your end goal, you whisper the tune into his ear, “na na na, na, na na”, covering every part with an indulgent languish, “pick your filter”.

Your hand finally reaches its destination - you grab his bulge and squeeze the hardness, making Jimin buck his hips against your palm. 

“Namaneul damabwa.”

It’s a low whisper from his lips, but even in the gravelly sound you can hear how melodious he is, how the song rolls off of his tongue and was made for his vocal color. The whisper is laced with lust, with want, with desire, all the feelings you portrayed for him in his performance.

That, and in life in general. 

You shuffle and sit to the side, simultaneously unbuttoning his jeans to get him some relief for the ache he had going on. Finally, you acquiesce and free his dick from its cages.

Every time you see him is a wonder to you. Hard, ridged, the right amount of veins to stimulate the walls of your cunt. Head leaking from the eons of teasing you’ve been doing, right from the text you sent to seconds ago. You bend down to clean him up, tasting the saltiness of his seed that has coated the head. Jimin’s lips are facing the brunt of your deeds - his teeth have found near permanent residence in its plushness, digging deep to keep from moaning too early, from giving you the pleasure. He is going to make you work. 

Well, you must get to work. 

Slowly, slowly, you dip your head in further, sucking lightly with each move, tongue tracing every vein on his dick. As you move your head back up, Jimin’s hand pushes into your back, making it arch further, and then you go down on his dick. His finger lightly follows the curve of your back, from your upper back all the way to the band of your lace panties. 

Hooking a finger underneath the lace fabric of your panty that had disappeared in between your mounds of flesh, he pulls at it - hard.  Your throat revolts against the intrusion as you gag, and the fabric presses into your clit. The concentrated abrasion turns into pleasure - he uses it to arch your back further, and bring your ass closer so that he can-

Smack! 

The spank sends you forward and you choke on his dick further, throat giving in to his hardness. 

“So good for me baby. Look at that ass.” He grabs one cheek, bubbled with the way your panties are now, squeezing and testing the firmness of your glutes. 

Your plans of torturing him are shot; the Devil on your shoulder is strangely mute. Awakening the brat, you slip a hand under and toy with his balls, pulling back to provide your throat some recess. Your saliva mixed with his precum is an gushing mess, glistening on his balls and now coating your palms as you play with light squeezes - the existing stiffness caused by your teasing arousal mixed with your playful fingers make Jimin buck into your mouth, releasing a delicious groan in the process.

A second spank is a warning, either you increase your pace or reap some serious consequences. You consider the consequences; they are very compelling. You could end with delicious marks of ownership from this delicious man. But he deserves the best suck of his life, and you’re going to do just that.

Hollowing your mouth, you go further down, till his head is poking an uninvaded point in your throat, and Jimin lets out a surprising note. A groan, no, a roar, but a tinge of whine mixed in it, like the pleasure is too much for him. 

You continue to swallow around, hand pumping the length you couldn’t take in, interlarded with swipes on his tight balls, leaving Jimin to be a heaving mess. Your ass is not faring better, bearing the brunt of his replies. You’re positive his fingerprints are imprinted on your asscheek, and one sit on his phone can unlock it. The line of your panties is drenched with your sopping wetness and lodged between the lips. 

“God, I’m so close baby, just a little more.” 

You would fervently nod in acceptance to whatever demand he places; in this position, he could ask you for the world and you would have it at his disposal. But what stops you are his ringed fingers lodged in your hair, pushing you in further, determined to spill deep in your throat, to the point where you don’t even have to swallow to get everything down. 

“Fuck, such a good girl for me.” Jimin appraises how deep he is going, how your throat is accommodating him and quivering around his length. Bunching your hair up into a makeshift ponytail, he stops them from obstructing his vision - the view of you struggling to take him in, toiling to keep the need to breathe at bay while you tend to his needs, worshipping his dick like its the last meal you’ll ever get - your desperate adulation takes him over the brink.

Jimin erupts into your mouth; an ungodly amount at that. It is the hardest he’s come in a while, and given your lifestyle, that’s saying something. Even a cum-hungry whore like you can’t possibly swallow that much in one go, and you are forced to let the globs dribble down his now-softening member. The two of you are heaving, catching a breath - completely different circumstances but the same result. 

The way you’re looking at him right now; his dick is already twitching to go for a second lap. Dilated pupils staring back, like you were at the receiving end of the orgasm - you are staring at him like he hung every star in the sky. Strings of cum are leaking out of the corners of your lips, ones he really wants to lap up with his tongue. Instead, you daintily dab it away - as innocent as pecking stray drops of ice cream off your mouth. 

You look at him with teasing eyes. “Want a taste baby?”

Running your tongue along the mess you (or he) made, you gather the remnant cum that didn’t go into you, and instead flooded his groin. Straddling back onto his lap, you go in for a kiss but stop halfway.

Jimin is looking, waiting with lust hungry eyes. Slightly pained by the pause, he whines. 

“What?”

“Open your mouth.”

From a height, you let his cum and your spit drop into his mouth, a groan of satisfaction emanating as Jimin’s tongue accepts it with great delight. He tastes his juices, they somehow feel sweeter coming from your mouth. He pushes the glob you dropped on his tongue against the roof of his mouth, letting every taste bud bathe in relish. When he’s sucked all flavor out of the globule he swallows it. On opening his eyes and landing back from heaven to earth, he sees you admiring his adam’s apple, the way it bobbed when he swallowed your offering. 

Jimin’s eyes trace your current state; you look beautiful. The strappy red lingerie wet from Jimin’s treatment perfectly showcases your peaked nipples, ready for another round of torture. His shirt, through all this has managed to stay hanging on your shoulders. The curves of your sinful waist accentuated by the ribbons of the wear, like roads down a windy path, every ribbon vanishing into their destination, between your curvaceous thighs. 

Slipping his fingers under the band, he decides he has not played with the lingerie enough, tugging it up once again - a sharp inhale and you’re moving along with it, upward to balance between the point of pain and pleasure. Jimin makes sure you don’t tip in favor of one. Grabbing you by the neck, Jimin harshly pulls you down into a deep kiss.

He’s done waiting, done watching you take the reins. His tongue tells you that you now can only react to his doings. Deepening the kiss, you let your mind walk places. Back to his performance, his stage presence, the aura he exudes when he is in his element. His sinful body melding to the flow of the beat, like the music was made to his movement - his piercing gaze that could leave an insentient camera with blushed cheeks - but a sharp bite pulls you right back to the present to remind you that this is also Jimin in his complete element. Pillowy lips, incandescent with every brush, sucked and nipped with fervor. But it still didn’t satisfy. It wasn’t nearly enough. Starved, you wanted to scream at every imperceptible air pocket between the two of you - as if you knew in your soul they were guilty of keeping you away. 

Jimin pulls away, and his words shut you down before the whine leaves you. 

“About that ‘whatever’…” his sinister eyes are a window to his brain churning something unimaginable to close the night - sinister in uppercase. Make it bold. Underline that shit. That’s him. 

In the bat of an eye, you are face down on the sofa - Jimin’s rock hard thighs are straddling you, making sure you can handle his weight. In all the coarseness, he takes care of the smallest of things. An untimely smile creeps up on your face at the thought, the tender show of affection amidst the rough push and pull affecting your immersion, but you can’t say you don’t like it.

Feeling a rough jerk on your shoulder, you try to look back, just in time to receive Jimin’s ravenous gaze; he looks at you like he will eat you alive, and by the end of the night you plan on having just that. Pulling back your now-unbuttoned shirt and bunching its ends, he anchors you to the position of his choice by tying your hands behind.

Smelling a line up your neck all the way up to your hair, he briefly pauses to ask “Okay?”

Your tiny nod is enough for Jimin to carry on with whatever godless plan he has chalked out for you. 

“I hope you had your fun. Because I’m not going easy on you.”

Light banter could cause no trouble. Atleast, not more than you already have. “When have you ever?”

Flashbacks of the blossoming days of your relationship flicker in Jimin’s mind, their fugacious presence a telling sign of how long it has been. Looking downward, he can only thank his alcohol-induced blabbering of that night as that is the reason he can enjoy the view he has right now. 

“Maybe I should take it easy?” His tongue flits across your neck, too soft for your liking, torturous like his liking.

His fingers are playing with the straps and your now exposed upper back. It’s always been a favorite place of his. The whole expanse looks resplendent when he is done tasting you. Maroon and purple florets on your beautiful, glowing skin. And then you purposely wear dresses to show it all off, to show who your heart belongs to. He loves that about you. 

You gyrate lightly, snapping him out of his daze, begging him to take you hard and fast. “Jimin, please.” a low drawl leaves you as you try to not slobber all over the cushion. 

Jimin shifts lower to straddle your thighs. Snaking his hand between your legs, he finds your clit and plays with it, every press releasing a different sound from different depths of your throat. A particularly low grunt appears when he slips two fingers into your channel with smooth ease, and pushes you up from the inside. 

“Ass up for me.”

His fingers stay lodged inside as you raise your hips to obey him, pulling you up further and further till he is satisfied with your position. God, your pussy looks wrecked. With every pump of his fingers you gush our more liquid, and Jimin gathers the escaping drops on this tongue. 

“So perfect for me, this hole.” You can feel the cold metal of his rings drawing circles inside you as he prepares you to take his cock. His tongue, drawing completely different characters is too slow for your liking - he seems to be more satisfied in drinking your cum dripping from his fingers instead of paying attention to your throbbing clit. Seconds go by, several hinting moans of dissatisfaction go by, but the Devil on your shoulder seems to have returned and is asking for more. A hip raise, that’s all. His tongue will be right where you want. 

What you got instead was a sharp bite on your already battered ass - Devil, hey, where did you go? “Behave.” He grunts against your pussy, and a fresh wave of arousal escapes you with a third finger making its way in. “Don’t like it? Too,” Smack! “Fucking.” Smack! “Bad.”

The last spank hit you hard, leaving your cunt soaked to the core. He is trying to get a rise out of you, and you are falling for it. Your smarting skin is at its breaking point, but let’s not pretend like you don’t want this either. 

“Baby please, I’m so close.” You’re close to tears with how long you’ve been this turned on. Maybe Jimin will have a change of heart seeing you like this.

“Don’t.”

Well maybe not.

He’s using your hole like playdough - for his fancy, with no end goal in sight. He doesn’t seem to want you to come anytime soon and it is bothering you to no end. The tightening coil in your belly is almost painful at this point - but he doesn’t seem to want to let up anytime soon. 

“You taste so sweet baby, almost don’t want to let you come, so you keep dripping like this.” 

His fingers curl into you to hit that spot, and God, you’re seeing stars right now. Curling up your fists into a ball and trying to keep the threatening tsunami at bay, you jerk into his mouth and continue to sway to the tune his fingers play inside you. If desperation had a poster girl, they could take your photo right now.

“If you let me come I -ohhh- I will- I will give you more.” Your words are broken, every push into your cunt halting your flow of speech. 

A split second later you are empty. He’s pulled away from you, and you think the finger-fucking torture you were going through was almost better than this. Your walls flutter in empty anguish. 

“Better keep your promise then.” Finally, you hear Jimin shuffling behind, but your muscles feel too alive and too dead at the same time. At crossroads, you are unable to get yourself to move, to twist or turn and witness the glory of him, the scrunch of his features, the grit of his pronounced jaw, his lips heaving a sigh as he pushes his girthy self into your leaking hole. 

Jimin’s forehead is lined with sweat, jaws hurting from the tight clench he had trying to not nut into you too soon. Now they revolt in pain, ready to pass on their trouble to his dick and release into you the moment he fits himself in. But he held off; he had plans for you - long plans. 

As he slowly pulls himself out, you can’t help but mewl at the pleasure your walls are feeling, with every ridge of his cock pressing all the right spots inside you, the snug fit when he’s pulled out all the way only leaving the head inside you. Then, you can’t help but yell, expressing a mixture of anguish and pleasure when his hips snap to push into you in one swoop, hitting deep inside you. With your ass high up in the air, his balls smack your engorged bud, sending shockwaves throughout your body and clenching the hold you have on his dick.

“Fuck baby, you feel fucking tight. You’re so close?” Jimin’s voice is strained as well; the lack of mocking in his tone tells you he is close as well. 

“Ki-Kiss me, please.” The voice that leaves you is so foreign, so unknown. The fucked out woman speaking in your stance has no spatial or temporal comprehension. You don’t even realize how you are put on your back, now a lucky witness to Jimin’s nimble figure pushing back into you as he leaned over to slot his lips on yours. 

The kiss was explicit, it was rough, it would put to any kiss you’ve shared before to shame. Deep in throes of pleasure, his mouth is chasing yours. Your hands are still bound; a light fight against the restrain tells you you don’t have a chance. Instead, you suck his plush lip in, swiping your tongue across his cherry petals that are rushing with blood because of you. Dormant volcanoes across the world could erupt with the blaze of your merging lips, it is scorching hot. 

If Jimin is a color, he is a rich wine - deep and passionate. He puts his one hundred percent into whatever he does, be it skilled singing, adept dancing or simply fervent kissing. He gives it his all.

Jimin’s skillful hips move in every way he wishes - and your pussy is thankful for that. Rolling in deep, he tests the stretch of your walls, before pistoning into you with zeroed-in precision, sole focus to get you to come with him. The effort he was putting in could be seen in his abs - they have tightened with exertion, and with a light sheen on sweat, look absolutely delectable. 

Letting your hands roam, you bring Jimin’s face into your neck where you can hear every single breath, every hiss, every groan - that you could record and keep in your memory. With one hand tugging his tresses, and the other hand drawing paths on his back with your nails, you hear the sounds you want to. Jimin sharply bites your ear, and the shockwaves of pleasure send you tipping. 

There’s layers to the pleasure you are experiencing right now, your orgasm hitting you in ebbs and flows. Right when you think you can finally return back to ground, the high tide pulls you back into the water for another stream of pleasure. It feels like eternity when you finally hit the land, and even then the loose sand makes you falter, threatens to send you back into the ocean.

Jimin’s pace is faltering, and he spills soon after. Hot, heavy breaths tickle under your ear, as both of you feel the sheer intensity of the orgasm. Him on you, your hearts are aligned, and you can feel the beats fighting each other for dominance until they soften down. 

Ripples of energy flow out of the both of you, elevating the temperature around the two of you. If you didn’t have your eyes closed you’d say literal rolls of steam are emanating from the way you both are heaving. You slowly regain your senses, twitching hands trying to remember what it is that hands even do. 

A shiver runs through your spine when you hear a grunt so close to your ear, only to realize Jimin is in the same position as you are in. Even without looking, you can guess what his expression is. Void of any edge, the softness of his facial features must have made their return, with crinkled eyes and a light frown on his beautiful pouty lips, he probably looks like an innocent caricature of the man that stood behind you moments ago. Letting your palm rest on his head, you beckon him to get up.

If Jimin is a color, he is the pinkness best portrayed by his puffy cheeks at this moment. A childlike glow, a guileless visage. He looks at you with such adoration, like you are the only desire in his world, and everything else can be damned.

You don’t want to break this silence but you cheekily add, “You didn’t even get me naked. Like this a bit too much eh?”

Dark clouds mar the pink and turn it into a deep, sultry carmine - the shift in his color noticeably brings your temperature down by a few degrees.

“Cute. You think I’m done with you.”

He is the whole palette, and you can pick your filter.

Thank you for making it to the end! Let me know what you think! And you can find more of my writing at my masterlist here!

[zukoscomet]

I realised recently that I never actually collated all the ideas I had about my Zutara kids so here, have some steambabies! Idk I just really like the idea of Katara and Zuko having a big family after all they’ve lost when they were young, and as an only child, I guess I kind of romanticise the idea of having siblings. 

TW: I hc that Katara would have had a miscarriage, so if that is a trigger for you then maybe don’t read on.

Shameless plug but if you wanna read more about this, my series on AO3 is roots and wings.

Their firstborn is a boy who they name Kai after Kya. His full name is Kaito but nobody who knows him ever calls him that, not even when he’s in trouble. I’m not going to go into too much context about like the pregnancy bc you can already find that stuff here. He turns out very much like Zuko physically - tall, golden irises, straight black hair, narrow angular face - but he has mixed tawny skin and his eyes are shaped round and wide like Katara. He’s born on the last day of summer in 109 AG, so because of superstition that firebenders are born in peak summer, there’s some uncertainty about what he’ll bend - if at all - but then when he’s three and a half, he makes a flame. Iroh trains him to firebend until he’s about 16, then he goes off to the Sun Warriors for a year to finish off, and he ends up a very spiritual firebender. Kai is like the dream first child - the softest boy ever to live - and when Katara and Zuko go on to have more children, he’s a really great big brother, like wholeheartedly adores his little sibs even if they drive him completely nuts about 95% of the time. He’s quite a conflicted and confused kid growing up. He’s never quite sure of what he wants in life but finally, when he’s 17, he decides that he realises that he doesn’t want to be Fire Lord and passes along the heir status to his sister. After that he joins the Sun Warriors and eventually marries the chief’s daughter, Himari, and they have two firebender girls, Aiko and Sol. 

Izumi arrives not long after her brother in 110 AG. Katara and Zuko planned to wait but it ends up that there’s barely a year between Kai and Izumi and it comes as an extra shock as Katara didn’t figure out she was pregnant again till like 18 weeks in. Katara goes into labour early at 35 weeks and Izumi is born really small - she never completely catches up either and it’s hilarious because after successive generations of tall male Fire Lords, they get Izumi who’s barely 5 feet - but she’s otherwise fine. She’s physically a mish-mash so overall she resembles nobody especially - Katara’s hair, complexion and big round eyes, Zuko’s irises, Azula’s heart-shaped face and highly arched brow line, Hakoda’s facial features. The superstition about summer births for firebenders peters out real quick when Izumi, born in the autumn, bends blue fire at two and a half and, taught by Jeong Jeong, she grows into a prodigal master. When she’s young, Izumi is the polar opposite of her brother - feisty, stubborn, determined and whip smart - and she’s a heathen teenager but by about 15 she mellows and matures, and part of Kai’s reasoning for abdicating is that Izumi seems a better fit for Fire Lord. Izumi was always kinda apathetic to kids but at 19, she accidentally gets pregnant and has her son, Kazuo, then her daughter, Kira, eleven years later. Izumi becomes Fire Lord at 37 but she only rules for about 14 years before retiring. Since she had Kaz so young, if she stayed on the throne much longer, Kaz would also be an older man when it came time for him to inherit, so she decides to step aside and Kaz is coronated just after his 33rd birthday. 

(Kazuo takes after his Gran Gran in more ways than just his blue eyes; he’s a waterbender so Kaz is the first waterbender Fire Lord)

After a break, Katara and Zuko decide to try for a third addition and Katara gives birth - in the Southern Water Tribe, for the first time - to Bashira, four years after Izumi. Shira looks probably the most like Zuko out of all the children, even more than her elder brother does. They share the same tall and lean physique, the same long black hair, Shira is mixed but still the palest of all the steambabies and their faces are practically identical. They’re characteristically very similar, too - serious, intense and reserved. The only differences is that her hair is curly, her eyes are blue and finally, Katara gets her waterbending child. Both of them suspected that Shira was going to be a waterbender even at the early stages of the pregnancy, but it’s still super exciting when Shira tosses a wave at her elder siblings when she’s two. Katara is teaching her as soon as she possibly can but over time some tension develops between them when Shira turns out to be quite different from her mom in terms of natural bending style. Shira is very fight-oriented, she learns dao swords from Zuko and never shows as much of an interest in the healing arts, but when things blow up and eventually Shira is able to explain that she wants to be able fight like her mom did during the war, things straighten out and Katara guides Shira all the way through to mastery. She eventually moves to the South in her late teens to lead the tribe’s warriors. There, she has three children - waterbender twins Kenzo and Kenji, then a daughter named Kanna who’s a firebender like Grandpa - but the marriage to their father doesn’t last and in her 50s, she ends up in a relationship with Aang and Toph’s daughter, Lin.

Katara gets pregnant for a fourth time - planned - just after Shira turns two, but this time she has a miscarriage. Zuko was overseas when it happened so she went through it alone. Katara is devastated and resents Zuko for not being there. She knows it’s not his fault but she can’t help her emotions and that makes her feel even worse so she just shuts down - stops doing her Fire Lady work, stops spending any more time with Zuko and their children than necessary, won’t let the rest of the family visit them and spends most of the day lying in bed. Zuko doesn’t know how to help her so initially he decides to give her space to grieve however she feels she needs to, but it just deteriorates until one day Zuko suggests that maybe they should both go to therapy or marriage counselling or something because it can’t go on like this. Katara just completely loses it at that and ends up yelling at him all the things that she’d been bottling up over the last couple of months. Katara says some awful things and she’s expecting Zuko to take it poorly, hence why she kept it all inside up till now, but Zuko just accepts every bit of it and after that, she’s finally able to grieve properly and mend.

About six months after they come back together, they decide to try again and Katara eventually falls pregnant. The pregnancy itself goes smoothly but both of them are so stressed about something going wrong like last time and the effect that might have on both of them, then Gran Gran passes away when Katara is in her thirtieth week, so the full ten months were incredibly hard-going. 

It’s a big relief when the baby is finally born on Ember Island, three years after Shira in 117 AG. They name her Lili in honour of their recent losses, since lilies can ease scars and Iroh once referred to them as lights in darkness. From the beginning, Lili is the image of Katara in every way physically and characteristically - kind, patient, gentle, but does have quite a temper if she’s pushed too far. She’s also a waterbender, though it takes her a little longer to manifest her abilities than any of her siblings, first gaining control of the water at the age of six. Lili is incredibly endearing, as both a child and an adult, and she becomes so particularly popular with the Fire Nation public that the firebending qualification to be considered an heir to the throne is reversed, so Shira and Lili are inducted into the succession. Born in the same year, Lili had a long-term relationship with Tenzin, Aang and Toph’s thirdborn, but as they grew older, Tenzin was concerned that if he married her, their children would have heritage of all four elements and degrade the chances of Tenzin producing airbenders and continuing the Air Nation. That concern resulted in a kind of on-again-off-again thing but eventually Lili sent him off with an "I don’t want to be with someone that isn’t even sure he wants me" and went travelling the world for a few years. When they’re both in their thirties though, Lili and Tenzin reconnect and get back together, eventually marrying and producing five children - Jinora, Aya, Hiro, Rohan and Kano, the elder four airbenders and the youngest a waterbender.

A few months after Lili is born, Sokka and Suki have a baby girl and when Katara and Zuko go to visit their new niece, they agree that night on a spur-of-the-moment that they want one more child. The morning after, they talk about it properly and decide it’d be better to wait till Lili was a bit older, but Katara found out six weeks later that that one time had been successful. About halfway through, they find out that they’re expecting a boy and Katara is especially excited since their son had always been more closely attached to her whereas their girls were very firmly Daddy’s girls. Sure enough, when Kallik arrives in 118 AG, he’s a big Mama’s boy and remains so his entire life. Apart from his curly black hair, Kallik is the spitting image of his uncle, to the point that Hakoda says that seeing Lili and Kallik together is like seeing young Katara and Sokka. Kallik is the hardest to handle out of their children - loud, playful, mischievous and an exhausting troublemaker. All of the siblings fight like cat and dog but Kallik and Izumi are by far the worst, on the level of one walks into a room and the other is like “And I took that personally” and they never seem to grow out of it even when they’re both old and grey. Kallik is the only nonbender in the family and initially he struggles with this a bit but he spends a lot of time hanging out with Uncle Sokka, learns dao swords with Shira and Zuko, and by the time he hits his teens, he comes to view it more as something that sets him apart from his siblings. When he’s 18, he goes to join the United Forces and he stays in service till his late thirties, when he meets Ren, another serviceman from the Northern Water Tribe. After beginning a relationship with him, the pair settle in Republic City and end up adopting two daughters, Kirima and Alasie.

About a decade after Kallik is born, it seems like things are kind of slowly drawing to a close as the kids are getting older - Kai is 19 and has left home, Izumi is 18 and living away in Republic City while she studies at university, Shira is 14 and already talking about moving South the first chance she gets, Lili is 11 and wanting to go Northern Water Tribe to train with the healers there, and Kallik is 10 and dreaming of being a great military commander like Grandpa Koda and Uncle Sokka - when suddenly Katara starts to get really, really sick. Zuko is absolutely terrified, thinking that there’s something seriously wrong with his wife, but after some deduction, it turns out that Katara is actually pregnant again. The relief at realising she’s not dying is short-lived and the reaction from both of them is basically holy shit holy fuck we are too old for this our other kids are practically all grown up now we are done with babies we can't seriously have six children what are we going to do. There’s a lot of discussion, especially since Katara is 43 by then and the risks for her to be carrying another child are higher, but they ultimately decide to go through with it. Ironically, it’s the easiest of all her pregnancies and when Katara delivers a baby girl in Republic City in 128 AG, there hadn’t been a single complication to speak of. Iroh had passed away two years earlier, devastating the whole family but Zuko in particular, but the baby is born with his irises - a darker gold - so they name her Ilah. Her eyes are big and round like Katara’s but other than that, Ilah resembles her Grandma Ursa most strongly, with her thick chestnut-coloured hair and slight, delicate facial features. Naturally, Katara and Zuko think all their babies were the cutest baby but Ilah is probably objectively the cutest, with her big honey-coloured eyes, chubby cheeks and soft little curls.

Inevitably, since Kai, Shira, Lili and Kallik had all either left home before she was born or did so when she was still a little girl, Ilah gets a lot more concentrated attention from Katara and Zuko. She’s completely spoiled and doted upon by the whole family, including her elder brothers and sisters who visit her as often as they can manage. Since Izumi still lives in the palace permanently as the Crown Princess, she and Ilah are close, but Ilah ultimately ends up being closest with Izumi’s son, Kaz, who is only a year younger than his aunt. Ilah was even in the room when Kaz was born, though it wasn't an intentional move. Zuko was supposed to be watching Ilah when things got intense with Izumi’s labour but things escalated from 0-100 real fast and Katara didn't have time to hand Ilah off, so she stayed tucked in a sling on her mother’s back as Katara helped her eldest daughter to deliver her own baby, somehow sleeping through all the noise and commotion. Ilah and Kaz end up more like a brother and sister or best friends than an aunt and nephew, though Kaz always calls her Auntie Ilah when he’s teasing her. Ilah is perhaps the shyest around strangers of her siblings, uninterested in celebrity and attention, but she’s the most adventurous, determined and creative, interested in science and invention from an early age. Growing up, Ilah felt a little pressured by the renown of her family, especially when her firebending turned out to be just about average in power, but when she’s 12, Ilah figures out that she can combustionbend. From there, she applies her bending abilities to science and when she leaves home for university, she invents the combustion engine at age 20. The rest of her adult life is spent travelling virtually non-stop, working on innovation projects for the different nations. She never has children, on the account that it would be unfair to expect a kid to move around as much as she does and she’s happy enough with her numerous nieces and nephews, but she eventually marries her long-time girlfriend Li-Mei, an Air Nomad tasked with searching the world for new airbenders. 

[clandestine-j]

Gossip Girl, EP. 4 Reaction & Review

Finally, I've gathered all of my thoughts for ep. 4! I had this really cool extra post to the intro and had more thoughts but then I lost the entire thing so I had to re-write the entire post SO, yeah, this is all I have for this part. Also, if anyone has those bts photos please let me know, i’m looking for the ones that have the audience reacting to max’s dick pick from the fashion show, aki biting his lip. please send. 

ADULTS:

Kate & CO: JAIL JAIL JAIL. We had that one teacher being turned on by incest and ruining kids lives. DO BETTER IN JAIL. I'll say tho, the male teacher makes a better gossip girl, he doesn't feel bad and is enjoying it. Kate could never.

Rafa: JAIL. JAIL. JAIL. JAIL. JAIL. I WAS ROOTING FOR YOU, WE WERE ALL ROOTING FOR YOU. I hate that they showed us this man having common sense. This man, pushing Max away sexually but understanding that he needs serious help. I hate that they just didn't have them flirting and show us him saying no, I'm so upset. I'm even more upset that I fell for him being the character to subvert the trope. I can only blame myself but blame HBO as well. I also hate the comments saying it's okay or well, the show needs scandal and spice. They could've been photographed together in normal clothes, just standing next to each other. Max could lie to GG. There are a bunch of ways these could become an IC scandal without having them cross the line. If you support this, you need help.

OUR KIDS:

Max: My boy needs therapy, lots of it. Maybe rehab. On one hand, he's being taken advantage of because he's clearly going through something and more than just his dads and he has been for a while. His escapism is dangerous and anyone would be able to prey on that. On the other hand, I need someone to beat his ass. His lines to Rafa about money and career were punch worthy and out-right willing to lie about Rafa doing something to him, even just to press Rafa's buttons. He needs help, he needs to be taught boundaries, he needs a lot. And why were the only two people concerned for his week-long disappearance Aki and Audrey, the whole squad should've had the guns out, friends since childhood, sure.

Obie: My boy, I get that you didn't like where you saw Zoya headed. I get that in some aspects you were right about her being a little too involved and suspecting Julien. That being said, she was having real problems and troubles and needed support. Do better. Obie still isn't the worst character on the show and many of them are SOOOO much worse. He doesn't deserve the all of the smoke he's been getting when their are better people for it.

Monet & Luna: I hate them as people and love them as characters that move the plot. I guess I could see how they thought the fuck school thing was horrible (and Julien too since she planned on showing Obie). The directors cut, I don't think they thought it'd ruin Zoya, they're just fucking cruel and found it funny. Let's box. Also, why are ya'll so pressed over this CHILD. Like get over it, find a real up-coming social media star. 

Aki & Audrey: My good sis, you brought a gay man to make Aki jealous. I'm sick, it was fucking funny. Her comments at first were off the wall, I wish the writers would've done something else but a lot of woman don't see it as normal so I sort of get it. I'm glad she came around by the end. And Aki...he was a little spicy this episode, my boy was ready to pop off a bit AND I AM HERE FOR IT. My dude said, 'I don't regret kissing him' I was THROWN. Aki being with Audrey helps me like her more because she's a bitch that's still ready to gun for a now 15 year old girl but her and Aki's relationship is cute. They could break up and be fine which is great, I love that their relationship is really more than just dating and the friendship is strong. I'm here for it.

Zoya: It's just bad writing but my head canon is trauma. Trauma from her moms death death, trauma from the past and current bullying that caused her lash out. I felt like this was her breaking point (so far) and anything gossip girl related as always came around to Julien. If she trusted Julien more, she wouldn't have thought of her as the person causing her issue's but she doesn't trust her. They were civil but even at the end of ep 2. Her 'hell yeah' to Julien about bonding was too dry, too dry. I think a big part of her just doesn't trust Julien and she'll always think the worse because she's seen mostly the worse. And that video, horrible, I'd hate everything about my birthday too after that and even before. Her emotions during the scene and the talk with Julien, ouch. And while I'm happy that Zoya found herself in the end, YES GIRL POP OFF. THIS IS WHAT I WANTED. THIS IS THE FLAVOR. I WAS WAITING FOR THIS AND I WANT MORE. I DEMAND MORE. I SEE A SPARK OF A BITCH, LET HER OUT GO, GO ALISON DELAOTRUINES ON THESE BITCHES.

Julien: Once again, I love Julien as a character, I know she's supposed to be struggling and for that, It's fun to watch her BUT. Julien could never be on my team, she's too wishy-washy. That is my issue, she's too, just...flip-floppy with no substance. Like, when she does things wrong, they're expected  to be forgiven / are forgiven without true reflection or anything on her part. She fucks up, she see's its wrong and then she says sorry and goes on it does it again. This episode was just the worst example, like, the moment she heard buffalo, she was ready to send in a tip. Instead of just doing the party normally and being best because she's hear, she sends the video to Monet. She believes Luna and Monet (Monet talking about her throne being taken when Zoya isn't even an influencer) and she eats it up. They were the ones who did the dick pick thing, like girl, THINK. And why does she never get the full plan, why would she not watch the video or why is she so shocked that Luna and Monet would play something like that? She knows them. Friends since childhood? Sure. Using your moms name to make the party about charity? SIS, THE FEUD IS NOT WORTH IT. She says she wants to be sisters but then she switches up so fast and the witches up again, it's whip-last and I'm sick. I hate that she's doing this to her and I hate even more that's is the writers fault. I don't mind a character having personal conflict but make it a conflict. Like after four episodes, why is she still friends with her sisters bullies? At the end of the episode, she says she's gonna tell them to lay down their weapons, NO, shut it down. correct them. make it clear and make it known. I love my girl because she's flawed but I wish they'd linger on things and have her really think about it. I was fine with the i'm sorry speech up until the camera part.

Other random thoughts

fuck the rafa max thing again, i'm not over, i will never be over it

evan mock isn't the best but he does give me face at times, his 'wtf stare', little sly looks, the 'wtf' moment when audrey first asked him if he was gay like 'this bitch' also, give him more annoyed, irritated scenes, he gives in those

have julien go full nice or full evil for a while, pick a side and stick with it for more than one episode

i wish zoya was a bitch at her old school but i'm fine with this too, it explains why she was so reactionary when it came to the bullying at constance, not again!

i wish we could've seen julien talk with davis after that stunt

nick and davis, KISS, the ride scene was 100%

don't talk about obie so soon

i like that she chose to be with julien for the night, it was cute

emily makes these faces that i can't get with

eli brown is a good actor, that shot of him during the traumatic reveal

i will say, zobie might be boring but when they talk, they talk, their communication is p good, i don't hate it

i’d be here for obie x aki bc they’re friends, they got chemistry, aki was giving look lil up and downs this episode, aki was giving a lot of looks this ep, honestly, idk i just don’t want him heart broken 

aki menzies is still my comfort character

i couldn't take rafa serious with his ass out,

whitney's acting in that talk scene, perfect, my girl had me in tears because DAMN

jordan is pretty good but in that scene, go girl, give me nothing

fuck max and rafa

max lied about his dads or at least one, AT LEAST one, i don't think they'd do that, he saw his in and took it

aki and aud, just have that open relationship, ya'll will make it, the way he tucked into her, it was so sweet

davi and nick secret relationship plot

jail for all of the teachers, once again

the hallway scene was great, the cinematography is been clutch overall

music wasn't as jarring

that's about it! i have more thoughts on the show overall that might be another post, they have a lot of amazing ideas but they need to stick with one and flush it out is the overall gist, i'm still into it!

can't wait for five bc i love the angst that's about to hit.

[musical-chick-13]

And Theon bc I love him

WHAT A COINCIDENCE I LOVE HIM TOO (this answer is gonna be a combination of books and show)

Send me a character and I’ll tell you the following:

• Did they live up to their potential? / In what ways was their potential unachieved?

-I would say yes. The only negative I have about his general arc is his death (which, see below). But Theon from the very beginning was, though not a particularly nice person, still relatable. Feeling othered, wanting to be accepted by an immediate environment that doesn’t accept you, isolated from and ostracized by your family, and the tension that comes between serving the different types of familial relationships in your life. Theon has no idea who he is, tossed aside by his blood family for not growing up with them and being “soft,” aka sort-of moral and having emotions that aren’t selfish rage or smugness (which, yep, that second part is a mood, see: my entire childhood and how no one wanted to be around an “emotional” “soft” child). And from there, he spirals out of control in a way that, while certainly not admirable by any stretch of the imagination, is still understandable in the context of the narrative and his characterization. And from there, after going through hell and quite literally losing himself (even to the point of straight-up denying rescue), he builds himself back up gradually, to the point where he expressed extreme regret for what he’s done, helps an innocent woman escape a truly horrifying situation, acknowledges that his family is generally garbage, and (in-show b/c again books aren’t finished), helping to restore his sister to power, rescuing her after his PTSD relapses while confronting Euron, and ultimately opting to protect the Starks come hell or high water in order to genuinely atone for what he’s done. He is no longer conflicted because he wants to do the right thing, and that right thing is defending the kingdom from the White Walkers and making sure Sansa and Bran are safe. And it’s no longer about fulfilling a duty or finding a family to fill the void. Because now he has found himself. I will contend that Theon has one of the best, most nuanced, most organic redemption arcs of all time. I will forever be grateful that I got to see that piece of storytelling unfold.

Although, I would love to know what he thought of Dany. A missed opportunity, that.

• How they negatively and positively affected the story.

-Positive: His arc of identity and finding where your loyalties lie ties into the overall theme of “How do you find yourself in a world where goodness, authenticity, and honesty are often punished and increasingly rare?” And it proves that governmental politics aren’t the only defining factors in decisions: familial politics can be just as difficult and dangerous, which adds yet another rich, complicated layer to the overall story. He has a genuine, honest-to-Drowned-God redemption arc, which is...not really present anywhere else in the story (no, Jaime is not on a Redemption Quest, I will die on this hill). But I think the biggest draw of Theon’s presence is that it deconstructs the whole “Character Revenge Fantasy” idea. He does bad things. We want him to be punished. But not like that. No one deserves that. How far is too far? What does retribution really look like? Given how easily that idea can be abused and go off the rails, is retribution even something to strive for? What is the point of using extreme violence/torture/mutilation/breaking someone’s psyche when it doesn’t really accomplish anything? Isn’t atonement and genuine justice a better option? It certainly was for Theon. He could only piece himself back together and do anything meaningful once he was out of his abusive environment. All of these are imporant questions that are posed by his existence in the narrative.

-Negative: Idk if I have much to say here. My biggest problem is his death (see below), but that’s not really a negative story effect so much as...being disappointing and narratively irrelevant. I gotta say, his introduction via his sister was...really weird. I genuinely have no idea why GRRM wrote that. It never came up again or had any kind of narrative ramifications and kind of cast a strange, uncomfortable light on his relationship with Asha/Yara for the remainder of the story. I can ignore and enjoy their later relationship it if I don’t think about it too hard, though, so I guess I’ll chalk it up to GRRM having a Bad Idea.

• What my favorite arc for them is.

-All of it?? Theon’s journey is kind of...one big arc, which is why I think it works so well. He has this overarching redemption plot which spans the entire series and informs every decision he makes (for good or for bad, depending on where in the aforementioned journey he is). The redemption arc isn’t bogged down with side plots or other pieces of narrative clutter, meaning it has time to grow and, thus, be gradual and realistic. If I had to choose a specific point, it’s probably when he tries to reintegrate back into society via supporting Yara. Gaining the Iron Islands’ support for her ruling, spiriting away with Euron’s fleet, and ultimately rescuing his sister after her capture. He can’t just go back into society. He’s scared. He has really bad PTSD. But he recognizes that putting his home in good hands is something bigger than just him because it’s Yara’s home, too. I just...I really love family relationships, y’all.

• What I think of their ending.

-I’m not really sure how I feel about this one. I get that the series is GrimDark™ and that people who make the right choice and fight for good die all the time, but Theon dying just felt...wrong. To me.

And, like...I get it. It makes sense to parallel his original descent into villainy (cemented by executing those two boys and pretending they were Bran and Rickon) with him dying to protect Bran himself. It ties into the whole very common trope of completing a full redemption arc by committing a completely selfless act at great personal cost. It’s kind of like the whole Missy thing in Doctor Who (which...hoo boy, that post is coming, make no mistake), where selfishness is directly opposed by making the ultimate sacrifice with no motivation for personal gain. And the fact that the last words he ever heard were “You’re a good man?” I cannot even begin to describe how much that makes me sob. But...honestly, I’m really tired of this idea that redemption has to end in death in order to be achieved or “complete.” I think it’s much more poignant to have a redeemed character live to help build a better world. Because what’s the point of telling people to be better if the “reward” is death? No one’s going to want to reform themselves if they think that’ll be the result.

I think the thing that Bugs Me™ the most is that Theon never really got to have a moment of peace when he was alive. Sansa gained the North’s love and at least had a secure childhood. Ned and Cat were happily married for years. Arya had parents who loved her and a good relationship with Jon. Jon fell in love with Ygritte and found his Night Watch Bros, and Robb (in show verse) had some very happy moments with Talisa. Davos put great stock in what he considered fulfilling friendships with Stannis and Shireen; Brienne was treated respectfully by Renly, Catelyn, and Sansa; Missandei and Grey Worm had each other and their friendship with Dany, who herself had many personal successes in her quest for the Iron Throne and saw the death of her abusive brother. Cersei even had moments with Jaime (who himself had several notable military victories and at least some time with Myrcella, as well as being gladly and deeply in love, however dysfunctional that love was), times when she successfully fought off enemies (including her dad), and some sweet moments with Tommen, as well as a huge victory via blown-up sept at the end of season 6. Theon was treated as a second-class family member by the Starks his whole life by being “traded” to them as a condition of war resolution AS A BABY, is immediately disparaged and mistreated by his immediate family when he tries to return to them, makes terrible decisions that almost cost him his conscience completely, is brutally tortured by Ramsay, is on the run with his sister from Euron almost immediately after, and has a PTSD attack that ultimatly results in him having to launch a rescue mission. And then he fights ice zombies. And then he dies. He never really...got to be happy at all? There was never any kind of “win” for him. Not even survival. The narrative couldn’t even give him that.

TLDR: Theon’s death seemed less shock-value-y than others (like, for example, Shireen or Missandei or, heck, Melisandre even), and it isn’t the worst thing I’ve ever seen. It’s narratively-informed and it makes sense as an emotional through-line, but, ultimately, Redemption Cemented By Selfless Death is a tired trope, and I honestly thought this story (which...you know...serves as a deconstruction of common fantasy tropes/book tropes in general) was better than that.

• When I wish they had died. / If I think they should’ve died.

-So here’s where we get personal™ kids.

So, it’s no secret that I am...severely mentally ill. I’ve talked about expression/presentation of mental illness in regard to Cersei a lot on this blog, and how that (as paradoxical as it may seem) helped bring a sense of comfort and emotional resonance to me. Theon, post-Ramsay, has, I think, a very clear case of PTSD. Theon is one of the few characters I’ve seen where his mental illness isn’t the cause of the bad, violent, dangerous choices he makes. It only takes root after he has made the decision and conscious effort to better himself, and it, rather than demonizing him, serve to humanize him. His trauma didn’t define him. And although a PTSD attack led to him unintentionally losing Yara to Euron’s capture, he makes every effort to rescue her, a goal he does end up achieving. It is so rare I get to see a character who goes through these things, successfully fight them and come out with positive qualities at the end. Like...switching topics a bit here, Jaime going back to King’s Landing to (try to) escape and ultimately die with Cersei made sense to me because, as Jaime says, he is a hateful man. He never made much of an honest effort to be anything else. And he never truly wanted to be good; he just wanted to be liked. He wanted to adopt some personality that would make him feel less disconnected from the rest of the world. But Theon...genuinely feels remorse for everything he’s done. He makes a concerted effort to do everything in his power to improve the lives of people he believes are good and deserve to be safe. So, just...killing him off in a Completely Selfless Sacrifice (like...you know how a lot of mentally ill people put themselves through suffering-like OCD rituals, bottling feelings, self-harm, even suicide-in a misplaced attempt to “help” or “protect other people”) seemed antithetical to everything we saw of his arc.

Ultimately, with such a humanizing, empathetic portrayal of trauma and mental health struggles, seeing Theon be killed off just...pissed me off. I am so tired of seeing mentally ill characters die. I really want to believe that I can live through and thrive in spite of the things that afflict me, and I get example after example of characters not being allowed to do that. It feels awful, quite frankly. And it makes hope that much harder. 

I also just feel like...there was nothing the story gained from his death? I get the thematic parallels as mentioned earlier, but it didn’t really move the story forward in any significant way. It didn’t motivate other characters to do anything, it had no political ramifications, it didn’t serve to contribute to any kind of happy ending or commentary on society, it just...was sad. Again, I thought this story was better than that.

[janiedean]

So was discussing this with a friend. S8 s*ansa talking about r+L even tho jon asked her not to. Initially we were like book!s would never, but then my friend said book!s DID in book 1 (telling ned's plan to c). Now obviously these are 2 v different situations. Book!s was a kid who had NO idea abt the larger context of things, and she wasn't aware of the political games going on. She genuinely thought she was doing the Right thing or at least what would eventually benefit her and her family 1/2

~because if c and joff are happy it will benefit the starks. So my friend said s8 stuff wasn't all that different since she genuinely believed Dany was nuts and Westeros was better off without her and that jon couldn't see it because he loved her. Plus if jon ends up on the iron throne (which is what we thought she was getting at in telling tyrion) it's again good for the starks? What do you think? If nothing it made sense in the context of show!s considering LF her mentor? 2/2

... I... respectfully disagree on just about everything. In order:

as you said, book!sansa had no fucking idea what she was doing, she was being misled by both cersei and joffrey and she thought she was saving her father, not benefit her family, which is normal given that she’s... twelve. or whatever;

now, the problem is that it’s bad writing if a character starts somewhere and arrives at the same place without nothing having fucking changed in between unless it’s a movie whose point is being depressing or specifically wants to be tragic, because like... circular writing for *long* series where people get invested in *character development* means that we get at the same situation but with changed people - for one, idk, it’s circular writing if jaime’s last line in the series is the things I do for love after he idk knights brienne or saving tyrion’s life or doing something selfless, because we went from jaime who does things for love that are bad for him and bad for everyone else involved to jaime doing things for love for good reasons, which is why among the other reasons the bells is a shit episode that doesn’t work on any level, so if sansa spills the truth about jon to tyrion exactly the way she did in got therefore causing harm and the only difference is that she knows she’s causing harm sansa hasn’t had any development outside of ‘wow she started as a sweet girl and now she’s cersei 2.0′;

on that sense, the entire point in sansa being mentored by lf in the book is that she’s not going to turn out like him or cersei which is plenty obvious because it’s been four books and she’s still kind and empathetic to everyone including people who hurt her, so that is not a legitimate writing choice imvho;

now, about sansa spilling about r+l, there is a whole other level of wrong in it, which we can further divide into the following categories: a) first of all for what THE SHOW told me, sansa basically decided dany was nuts and hated her because WHY THE FUCK NOT - there is no literal reason for show sansa to dislike dany that much when she went with jon to help, JON was the king so it was his decision to kneel, she didn’t hurt the northerners and she arrived with an army to kill the goddamned zombies, so basically by the point she spills to tyrion she seems like she’s doing that out of pettiness - honest, by 8x04 dany hadn’t... looked nuts or anything, and I’m saying it as someone who doesn’t care about dany but thinks that if S8 did one thing was making you root for her even if you previously didn’t; b) sansa swore in front of a heart tree (which is sacred to northerners) that she wouldn’t spill and then she did, which is... not that great; c) more than that, it was going against jon’s wishes because jon made overtly clear that he didn’t want the throne, that he didn’t want to act on his rights and that he knelt to dany and that he wasn’t interested in challenging her claim, so if sansa wanted him to be king she was basically ignoring what HE wanted without even consulting with him first, which is an incredibly bad breach of trust on her side that honestly, if I had been jon in the finale I’d have told her to fuck off and that I never wanted to see her again X°DD like you don’t put people on thrones when they didn’t ask you to out of disliking the legitimate ruler that your brother who was king at the moment bent the knee to because you presumably.... want the independent north which in the books is a thing that will happen because bran is 100% the next kitn, but is not a thing inherently seen as morally better or more just than any other option and which neither ned nor robb actually wanted, so.... no;

‘dany being nuts’ was a decision dnd took without even planning it well because she basically lost it without one single illegitimate reason - I mean, again considering that I don’t care for dany and I think she’s a good khaleesi but not a great ruler and that her adwd stint confirms it and that she’s not endgame ruler for the end of the books... what I see in S8 is that the poor girl goes to winterfell to help them and sansa treats her like shit and everyone treats her like shit, she has to see one of her dragons die once, jorah dies in front of her, when she tries to mingle with the others she gets treated like she doesn’t belong, then it turns out that her new boyfriend is her nephew and a threat to her claim which she has staked her entire storyline on, then almost all of her closest advisors decide to turn against her for wtf reasons when she said from the beginning that she was there to kill cersei and reclaim her rights, then she loses her second dragon and her best friend in the span of one day, then during the bells she goes berserk because they decided to give her joncon’s storyline out of nowhere and bc dnd haven’t even read the first version of the first dance with dragons, but like... honestly at that point my opinion was ‘if she goes and dracaryses the entire continent I’ll just cheer because what the fucking fuck is this they just made her sympathetic and sansa looks like a cold scheming asshole which is not the character I love’, so like... where is the truth? the truth is that dnd decided to go with that shit ending where maybe 5% was grrm’s thing (I mean the small council made of cripples bastards and broken things is a grrm thing, how they get there.... no) and dany didn’t feature in it and they didn’t know how to finish and they went with that also because they knew most fake feminist press was rallying behind the ‘sansa as queen in the north who needs no man’ bullshit storyline so what the fuck let’s just go with that, and like.... again: as someone who doesn’t gaf about dany in the books, that was just not it period

tldr: s8 sansa makes sense maybe if we take her as a separate character who has nothing to do with her book self and that dnd wrote to be cersei lite except slightly more likable, but her actions make no sense, her writing makes no sense and hasn’t since they gave her theon’s fucking sl in S5 and there is literally nothing past episode 8x02 except maybe four scenes that actually makes any shred of narrative sense as an adaptation and within the show’s context, since a lot of stuff is basically characters contradicting each other. I said what I said. /shrug

[renaer-is-allegedly-hot]

session 15 notes

Ok true crime as in my new addiction is true crime podcasts specifically about serial killers

Back to the session

 After getting a bit of a reality check from durnan about the supposed strength and power of the xanathar guild…

Protected our home w glyphs of warding

Last day of our contract

Spell is set to fade soon

Asyna is feeding ot

Ot looks at asyna like he's a cornered animal

"ot here's some meat"

Why is krystal roasting me about my lover

He wants poison

Ot is calling his jailers idiotic

Oh no aerana might be spilling beans

I really shouldn't be allowed to play games

Because I will always turn to the chaotic evil character

Aerana isn't giving anything up

Theo tells us about the plumbers who came over last night

Aerana is going to typ, rest of party is staking out house

Shifts to watch ot, adam takes front, asyna tower lookout (it's foggy tho so perception check at disadvantage, 9; city looks a little eerie in the fog)

Cel puts immovable rod across cellar door

Ot is suspicious whenever cel comes in

"you cannot fool me xanathar"

Cel making theo a new cloak

Ot asks cel when he'll turn him into dust

The xanathar can turn ppl into dust

Flare ?

Is flare the brain boy ?

I don't like the energy we've created around the word "enlightenment"

Cel rolls 18 insight check

Ot doesn't think cel is cel

Cel is gonna just vibe witth him

"WHEN U SLAY ME I WILL THINK NOTHING BUT HATEFUL THOUGHTS"

Sorry didn't mean caps but too lazy to fix

Everyone else

Adam in front hissing at neighbors and cats, 7

Hears pavement scuffle, someone approaches and reddish gtray beard person w non-descript gray cloak approaches; trench

Doesn't remember cellar and plumbers guild coming by night before

Trench says he can help

Help get bar open

Used to drink there a lot

Gets parchment and quill with ink

Rolls insight to see if bar was only thing he wasd interested in, 13, trench seems v interested

Works in surveillance, protection

Gives him cel and theo's name "5 copper please"

Gets 5

Adam picks his nose

Theo patrols entrances

13 for perception

Overlaps path w adam's

Aerana to typ

Afternoon when there

Similar pattern to those there; frequent patrons

"if I'm making up words, it's not really hitler"

8 perception

Place feels open, not as packed as it usually is

Still feel sensation of cold from the well

Wizard w pointy red hat a regular

You see goliath wizard talking to a dwarven woman

Aerana sees an elven man (bard) w "ugliest guy you've seen in your goddamn life" dom says but only after we point out he looks like legolas, tuning a lute

Sense you've seen him before

The wellllllllllllllllll

It is better told by a bard

Some patrons old and strange, others just like to drink

But ritual in the storytelling

Durnan built

Gwyliam

Talking in elvish

Place formerly not too populated

But one of durnan's ancestors came over to build upon it and discovered the well

Network of tunnels underneath

20 for history check

Familiar with some of what he's saying

Parents would throw you into the undermountain if you were bad

Undermountain = stirs weird memory in your head

Being told as a child stories of undermountain

Deep dark fearsome place

Mt waterdeep wizard came here once named hallister the black cloak

Hallister - ppl don't know where he was from / if he was real but legendary

Brought apprentices trained in magical arts

Tunneled on peak of mt waterdeep

Legend of undermountain could not be verified as truth

Durnan's ancestor came to typ

Climbed into well

"I wouldn't bring this up around him" - doesn't talk abt

When ancestor returned was fabulously rich

Split money with best friend

Built typ

Occasionally engages in ritual of going

No one truly knows what lies in undermountain but there's something there bc some return but most do not

"it might just be the sewer" - "but don't tell anyone I said that"

Differing renditions

Some say durnan was the one with magical powers and killed everyone in there, or more nuanced speaking only of tragedy of those who return who come back fearful or returning with smaller parties; others talk more of hallister and argue over his life; every night a different story

Ask if he knows anyone who's come back

Gestures to half-orc in corner playing variation of solitaire; great celebration when he returned, he came back with riches

He is a regular

21 history check

Undermountain

Familiar name

"Deepest dungeon of them all"

When sewers were built many passages abandoned bc other halls + passages found, many teams from cellars and plumbers guild died during construction of the sewers

Prisoners often thrown into "undermountain"

Says even tho he's here most days there's still stuff he doesn't understand about it; new community reforged every night

At some point durnan talking to wizard and having a conversation which is odd ? Eventually wizard looks at aerana (old man) skinny pointy red hat

Wizard squinting at aerana then turns back to conversation

Try talking to half-orc

Interesting plated beard almost like that on dwarves wrt ornamentation; jewelry running through it

Wiry half-orc

Not skinny but muscled

Weird tattoos covering one side of his face looking like they change a little bit

Balanced a little precariously

Ask if he wants to play a two-person card game bc he's playing solitaire

Ask for his favorite game, Skipper (slapjack)

Dexterity check

5, 20, 10

First round you lose, his fingers have strange looking rings beautiful but rough-worn bands of steel or other heavy metal

Second you win

Third round he takes

"say not many people can beat me in that game"

"luck favors the bold"

In the well

Hell but now look at him can gamble all he wants

City of balder's gate

Large city rough place to grow up

Turned into rough child living on streets

Says his name is Sand

Balder's gate warlords make life difficult so he decided to leave

Was found in youth by someone who turned his anger into smth holy

Ran into thieves and plunderers of forgotten relics, became brother and sister and decided to take on deepest dungeon of them all

Horrible things - asks if you've heard the song

The yawning portal song

Not many people know the full tale

Was taught to be skeptical (it's in his nature or maybe his name)

Not sure how long he was in there or didn't know when he was in there

No light

Tunnels are confusing and without it would've been lost; found room with throne with snakes for arms

Great hallway with ancient trap

Living things also in there; all manner of beasts and creatures; ppl don't come back bc of those

Killed goblins down there but after the things he's seen and after the things he'd had to do could've gone with killing a few more goblins

Advice ? Some will sell maps of what they found or what they think they've seen; anyone can tell u abt beasts down there

Durnan wouldn't lower us down

Durnan doesn’t send ppl to their deaths

Durnan lowers people he deems worthy

Strong brave smart fast bold enough or some combo

But even then not everyone comes back

It's a place of death

Not buying him lunch lmao

Has broken into dangerous old elf dungeons like in the ones up north and would do it again if he could unsee some of the things he saw down in the well

A place of death but things move in the shadows w tombs down there and tunnels for miles hallways great and tall, treasures, beasts keeping it for themselves

Ask about tattoos

Gift from master

The person who saved him in balder's gate

Steeped in magic of shadows

Powerful bc he is strong but qi is stronger still

Aerana gets back home but starts to rain heavily

Ppl still patrolling

Adam

Sees drow ? W purple colored eyes silver-ish hair hiding weapons under his cloak steps up and says "pardon me" and asks if adam's seen a cat

Large cat - would've know if saw it

Adam sends drow to trench

Adam gives him good up and down look, can he see weapons ? Carrying two cinotaurs ??? Sinotaur ???? Adam rolls insight for cat

14, seems like he's talking abt a cat

Heads off to trench

Asyna in watchtower guessing ppl's names

Cel and theo switch

Theo says hi to ot, ot curled up in corner

Whispers "hey ot what's up"

Says he should've gone with his gut on the day theo arrived

"dark elegance" "the way you glided into the room" - ot on theo

Ot says he knows how the xanathar pays theo

"I guess seeing you was a realization of my deepest fear" a fear he couldn't name or place or knew he had but out of the darkness theo stepped forward

"I'm curious . How long do you leave your victims like this"

Ot starts to cry and says he would beg her to keep him in this place

"this voice you're using I find it sweet"

"I just don't want to wake up before the end"

Theo is gonna get him food

"the poor dead tiefling told me yesterday"

7 insight

Theo does not know what's happening

Says the water theo gives him looks real

Looks at the wall drinks some water

"and it tastes real"

We kinda fucked ot up LMAO OOPS

"I know that you don’t have a heart… but if there's any chance that anything I've ever said or thought about you could take root in your soul"

Theo says she'll consider his request

Sits there for a half hour then asks if that's her real name

"nithlur" or smth like that

Nihloor

"where'd you hear that"

In his head lmao

What if this is like

A tapeworm

In his head

"what does knowledge taste like"

Asks if it's a feeling or a thought

Theo says it's a feeling

Ot says whatever knowledge is it's valuable to the right thing

Wonders if he can take a nap

Gonna take a nap

Adam forgot he made ott think he was dead

Aerana is taking over for theo

Adam takes first watch

Perception check, 22

Raining ohp so at disadvantage gotta do it again

New roll, 12

Rain is still falling

Hears a weird noise coming from outside the house

Uses thaumaturgy to boom voice saying "wake up"

Everyone sleeping wakes up

Goes toward sound

Hears weird growling noise

Goes semi-toward noise w pyrotechnics prepared; darkvision does he see anything

Sees shape

It's not the cat

Unfamiliar, looks like it's flying but more like it's floating

Bobbing up and down in air

Creature w large glassy eye and sagging mouth w lots of sharp teeth

Sticking out from form are eyes attached to a slug protruding off it w glassy eyes hanging off it

Intense stench making icky moaning noise

Adam shits his pants

It's big

The size of its mouth is human size

I've been listening to serial killer podcasts all day

[draculaurennn]

i wanted to do something for Padrika, so here I am! making garbage little graphics bc i haven’t made one in like 456543 years and using asks from @indoril-nerevar-mora​. 

💙 What would your OCs last words be (or if they’ve died what were their last words)? What were their final moments like? How did they die?

Padrika died once already! She was about ten, and has

almost

no recollection of it. To her memory, she’s just always existed, but bits and pieces surface often, even though they mean pretty much nothing to her. The reality is, when she was young, she went missing in her community, but no one really noticed or cared. Her parents could afford to not feed a child, and they were already unusually outside the community for being transient folk. Padrika doesn’t remember how she was stolen away, or who it was. 

The reality was it was just some man. His intentions weren’t kind, snatching her off because she was often unattended and never really home, and was just a girl who no one would really miss... or apparently look for. In her struggle, he ended up strangling her by the mireside. Not long before she faded out completely, something grabbed her by the foot and pulled her into the water; something else grabbed her assailant, and he was dragged down, too. Padrika’s was either meant to be a mercy killing by the rumored nymphs or it was meant to just pull her away; his was certainly not. She was gone by her first gulp of water, though. 

She had no last words, only screaming and choking. She remembers her eyes full of stars.

💧 What’s the worst pain your OC has ever been in? Mental or physical? What was the cause of this?

I honestly don’t think Padrika could remember any pain as worse than the other. She doesn’t really acknowledge pain? It’s hard to explain. The worst “pain” she’s ever had was probably mental, in the form of her later entrapment in the kingdom of Litwin. But she doesn’t really recognize entrapment as a pain, just as a blight on her very confusing existence. She doesn’t really realize it, but that reoccurs often in her heart alongside anger and frustration, and it’s made her obstinate to doing what she’s told or staying where she doesn’t want to be. 

🔷 Has your OC ever had to leave something behind or abandon something they didn’t want to? Have they ever had this happen to them? How has this effected them over the years?

The first time was the mire. The stars and the voices told her to pass off a sword, and out of sheer morbid curiosity, she did as she saw. The consequence was her capture; she was dragged from the water and kept in a soggy crate of tarp and water for days, until she was transported to Litwin. She didn’t want to go. All she wanted was to give them the sword and stop the visions, but that didn’t happen.

Then they kept her in a beautiful room with anything she could have asked for, except for her freedom, which they wouldn’t give. The young man who took the sword, who used it to raze the kingdom and then sit on the throne, hoped that by keeping her as a good luck charm she’d provide more visions to his inevitable victory. Padrika felt more like she’d helped murder thousands and displace thousands more. But she was more than happy to abandon Litwin when her opportunity to escape appeared. 

She worried about going back; bound in a different body by a little curse, she couldn’t very well slip into her old home and hope rusalka just let her stay. She also couldn’t survive under the water in a mortal body. So she picked up sailing, worked hard for her own boat, and allowed herself to sail free and unbound on her own terms. She was very proud of the boat she restored, the teacups and glass bottles she was collecting, and all of her journals of songs. But, then that was destroyed in a fight with vodyanoy, and Padrika felt the most grief and loss and anger she’d ever experienced in her entire life. She tries not to let it make her bitter, but it’s rooted itself deeply in her frustration as she once again finds herself lost and her existence both confusing and void of purpose. 

?❄️ What is (one of) their biggest regrets or biggest mistake they’ve made? Is there anything they can do to fix this or is it so far gone there’s no point anymore? Is this something they dwell on a lot?

Padrika hasn’t really

realized

 how much she laments on this, but she does hold herself responsible for the siege on Litwin. No rational part of her says it isn’t her fault. As far as she’s concerned, she gave a legendary blade to a young man who used it to murder and pillage and torture an entire kingdom as he ascended the throne. Women and children and innocent workers she had no relations to were bastardized in front of her, peering at the massacre through slats in a crate. 

She tries so incredibly hard to block these events out. She thinks about the as little as possible, she sleeps if they start to surface and hopes they’ll go away, and she ran as far as she possibly could in hopes that she never brought that sort of bad luck to innocent people ever again. It’s not only the biggest mistake she’s made, but in her very short and passive existence of doing almost nothing, her singular motivator and action resulted in the greatest albeit only mass casualty she’s ever witnessed, and she has never let that go.

💦 Does your OC have any self destructive habits? Addictions? Urges? What is the cause of these or the reason for them?

Padrika doesn’t form bonds because of her concerns of bringing bad luck on others. She worries if she gets close to others, attaches to others, makes friends with others, she’ll end up getting them killed. So she tends to isolate and prevent herself from being someone that anyone would keep around. 

She also has a tendency to drink, but it’s more out of sleep aid than it is a trauma or guilt-driven habit. 

☄️ Does your OC struggle with their emotions and trauma? Do they find it easier to open up to strangers or those close to them if at all? Do they tend to hide their pain from everyone?

Struggles is a strong word; fails to understand is a better way to explain it. She’s

generally

 good at keeping her moody changes to herself, and is rather good at not oversharing. Padrika doesn’t form attachments on principle, and likes to obscure any sort of worry or stress with an overabundance of combative confidence. She promised herself years ago she’d never cry in front of a person: not from stress, despair, fear, or pain, and she’s done incredibly well. 

It’s also important to note, though, that Padrika isn’t wallowing in some suffering 24/7. Reoccurrent feelings like this are only triggered, though she doesn’t really know what from. When they surface, she’s very good at chasing them away. She understands it’s important to dance, to play, to enjoy the freedom she does have now. But there’s also always times that stormy weather through smudged windows or abandoned villages with abandoned letters makes her feel melancholy and pained, and that’s something she’d become quite good at covering.

🔹 Does your OC have any scars? What are the stories behind them? Do they have any mental scars? 

Plenty of scars! They’re mostly little ones, scattered over her hands and arms from shipwork. The other little scattered ones are from falling, hitting rocks when she collapses from a vision, or just general diving accidents.No one in Litwin ever meant her harm; they wanted her to adapt and be happy there, so she received no physical harm. The only mental scars are the ones following her visions gave her, the misery of Litwin that rampaged because of what she’d done, and she swore to just quit listening to the visions after that. 

[incubae-fics]

True Power [AU!Aomaris]

Pairing: Female!Reader[3rd POV] x AU!Sam 

Warnings: Cursing, mentions of sexual themes, reader is mentioned to have a chubby form but you can disregard if you’d really like

A/N: Hi i still love sam and i like to project in my writings kinda, I got some james bullshit in the works bc i love my best friend and rip, tungle dot hell kinda fucked over my first vers of this so yay

A powerful brute demon, that’s what he was, and still is. His true form sported large protruding green horns, pointed in a way that looked like they could stab you if he tried hard enough. His skin was littered with swirls of green taint, and underneath that? Scars. Puffy, often red and angry scars, signs of his immense power. Remnants of all his wins, of what he could withstand and grow back from. His true name is Aomaris, but none but family would call him that. He was always the brute, and soon, it was just Sam, if anyone cared to learn what he called himself.

Even in a world where no one knew who and what he truly was, he was still feared. His scars were not hidden by dark green swirls, but by what clothing humans would wear. Sometimes they’d peek out. His shirt would ride up. His sleeves would creep upwards, and they’d be bared to prying eyes. His jaw was always set to a tense. His eyes were always burning. His aura screamed of his immense power, lying dormant somewhere deep within him. Humans, strangers that didn’t even know his name, avoided him often. He felt their fear and suspicion, and found comfort in for once, being unbothered and unchallenged. He guessed most humans were smart enough to know better.

That was, until she arrived. She strode right into the front door of what was now his home. He’d been weak, had gone too long without rage energy since he was constantly avoided, so he turned to the only other energy he knew he could feed from. He stole a kiss, relished in the energy he needed. Her eyes had glazed over, his enthrallment taking hold in that moment- but only for that moment. He had expected her to flee, maybe to even burst into tears because some gruesome man just stole from her lips- but she didn’t. Her face scrunched up like he expected, her fists clenched too. However, she remained rooted to the ground, feet firmly planted. 

“You son of a bitch.”, she spat, causing him to grin- but the grin was short lived.

Within a fraction of a second, he felt his teeth clack against each other. Her first had collided with his jaw, painfully so, which was surprising.

She had punched him.

“Did you just-”

“I sure did, you fucking asshole. Touch me again and see what happens.”, she had hissed, and with that, the domino effect began.

From there things just went insane. That one interaction led to an odd chain of events that somehow led him to where he was now. Had anyone tried to tell past him where he’d end up, he’d have laughed in their faces. She was not someone he had expected to.. fall for. In all honesty, he was sure falling was something he couldn’t do, not in a romantic sense. He was a demon, an incubus at that. One well known for being a ruthless and angry brute, even if he could feel love, he knew he didn’t deserve it. He’s still so sure he doesn’t deserve her. Especially with how it all began, a punch to his face.

The punch led to worse things. Screaming matches, awful names spat out, leaving them to both burn with the venom of the other on them. Some apologies were made here and there, but at the end, both were at fault. Both were always at fault and maybe that’s what led to this. Sam would repeat it all over again if it meant he’d always have her. He’d let himself burn over and over- show her all the scars he had- break every single last one of his walls, as long as at the end of it all, she would still love him.

He found it so funny sometimes. He could fight off armies of humans alone if he needed to. Had the strength to lift full buildings and the speed to travel as far as he pleased quicker than the eye could see. He was powerful, his very body radiated strength and amazing abilities. Yet, this one human woman, could have him undone in seconds. She could have him at his knees- hold him to her mercy, but she didn’t. She only ruined him in the best of ways, just as she had from the start.

She didn’t think of it as funny. Something about it was.. amazing in a sense. She was just a human, hopelessly in love with an incubus. A demon known to be well versed in sex. A demon named Aomaris, one with scars of past fights all over his body. Though to her, the scars weren’t so ugly or nasty. She only wished them gone when she thought of the pain they caused him. When she recalled that they were there because he had to fight tooth and nail just to live peacefully. It wasn’t because she thought they were in the way. She still viewed his body in a wonderful light, in an alluring one.

She’d viewed him like he was this beautiful greek statue (however he’d blush furiously and demand he wasn’t one if she voiced this thought). She often swore she paled in comparison to him- that she didn’t fit. She was just a normal human, just someone plain and not at all well versed in sex.

She still wondered how it was that he loved someone like her. Someone whose body type does not match his. Someone lumpy and squishy as opposed to firm and solid. She failed to wrap her head around how she managed to have him this way. He was so powerful- so very different and deserving of nothing short of perfection , but here he was. Beneath her, gripping her hips so tight, as if he was starved and she was his only source of nourishment. He looked up at her, emerald eyes burning with such a fire of emotions. With such love- such adoration and pure unrelenting pleasure. She had him in a way no other ever could. Elicited such pleasurable sounds and faces from him. Had his rough but warm hands running over every inch of skin she used to think he’d never want. Lips exploring places she swore she’d only feel in sweet dreams. His husked voice whispered sweet promises- spoke soft loving words she craved. Words she reciprocated- oblivious to how that blissfully had his heart bursting.

She had this all powerful demon at her mercy- but never did she think to use it for personal gain. Didn’t seek to just take and never give. That’s what really had him. She gave and gave, and all of it was his for the taking. His to keep and never share. No other man would have this view he had- would have her melting like he did. No one would hear her sweet sounds or be able to savor her taste. He had this woman all to himself- this woman that was completely unaware of her immense power over him. He’d do anything she asked. Give into any request she gave- even if it resulted in his pain or abrupt death.

He’d fought so hard all his life, and he never knew what really drove him aside from his own brother. Never really craved anything for himself.

Now, he craved nothing more than this. Than having her close, clothed or otherwise. Hearing her voice, be it in the form of sweet sighs or excited words. He was in so deep he was drowning, but he wasn’t fighting it. He didn’t have to fight anymore- she wasn’t letting him drown. She was letting him just be, loving him as he was.

Loving him even with the angry scars, even as he was another being entirely. A demon. A dragon. A broken man that lost about everything. She filled him up with life as he swore to always protect hers.

Aomaris could be as powerful as he wanted, could claim any throne or any life as he saw fit.

At the very end of it all, the true power lied within this human woman turned demon- with the other half of his soul. He knew it all along, but never really felt it in its entirety until she was his in every sense of the word. 

His true power was really just hers all along. She’d shared her strength, provided him means of gathering back his sense of self. She pushed him into working on it- into healing, giving him the power to say he healed himself. The strength to stand again, straight upright on his own two feet. She made him the happiest man alive- became his one and only wife, and the Mother of his children. She gave him all that he so craved deep down, but never felt worthy of.

A powerful human turned succubus, that’s what she was. All powerful with two sets of horns and lovely tainted skin. She was a Queen in her own right, but not of any kingdom. Just of a man- a brute incubus, and his lap was her throne. She sat gracefully upon it. 

Something like a match made in heaven, if heaven ever allowed souls such as theirs..

[ambitchiovs]

lenny back at it again… i warned y’all about the intros dump. anyway, off to this bitch:

&&. isn’t that [ DEBORAH ANN WOLL ] walking around the hamptons? oh no, nevermind it’s just [ ADELAIDE MONTSERRAT ]. y'know, the [ 19 ] year old [ CIS FEMALE ] known to be quite [ CHARISMATIC and DETERMINED ] but also [ CUNNING and RUTHLESS ]. currently, the police has them as [ A PERSON OF INTEREST ] in the case of samantha wheeler, because they [ WERE PART OF SAMANTHA’S FRIEND GROUND ]. but they go on about their life as [ A STUDENT ]. i wonder what secrets they’re keeping?  [ lenny/23/gmt+3/she/her ]

TW: eating disorders, addiction, mental disorders, possible suicidal thoughts/mentions

DON’T YOU EVER TAME YOUR DEMONS, ALWAYS KEEP THEM ON A LEASH.

In the eyes of Adelaide Montserrat, there was never a girl to be found. If you dare to pry, you will not find what strangers see when they pass her by the crowd. You will look into a bottomless void that threatens to swallow you whole and it will look back at you with smiling teeth. Little Addie, once a girl with pink tutu’s and ballerina shoes, was never one to be meddled with - she would captivate all her teachers and classmates with rosy cheeks and a clever tongue beyond her years, but there was nothing warm or kind about the little girl whose parents held so close she nearly choked to death.

History goes, her father — her biological father, anyhow, was a very powerful politician before he dropped dead. Nobody really knows what happened that night - all everybody seems to know is that all her loved ones seem to fall like dominoes. Her father died when she was 16, during a robbery. The men were never caught, but little Adelaide was left bawling into her mother’s lap. Surprising as it may be, she was actually the product of a one night stand and poor lack of judgement, or so her mother likes to tell her - but Catherine Montserrat was no fool, and she took him for all he had - and as it turns out… That was a lot.

That doesn’t come cheap, for Adelaide, anyways. Being a part of a new family meant she now had a new player to share her inheritance with - and damned if she didn’t do everything she could to throw them off the board. In the eyes of her parents, she could do no wrong - she was pure and pristine and everything they hoped their little girl would be. You’d assume being the younger sibling meant competing for attention - but she never competed. She never even considered it a competition. She won, plain and simple. Her half brother, that man who called himself her “father” now were but pebbles in her shoes, nuisances she had to navigate through to continue on with her luxurious lifestyle. They didn’t understood her, didn’t particularly wanted to, and it was easier to smear on some foundation and bake it with powder than let explain why her skin was cracking. It was easier to strap on those old ballerina shoes and put on a show until her toes were bleeding, than to try and show them what was behind the curtains. And all jewelry in the world, all praise, all money and countless designer bags she accumulated every year could never fill up that gaping hole, that detachment she felt towards the outside world and inability to connect with things and people - even those supposedly closest to her.

You see, Adelaide didn’t lose, because she tailored the game to her whims and batted her heavy set of lashes to make it seem fair. And if she did lose - the game be damned; she’d destroy it and any evidence of her failure with the wrath of a woman scorned. She didn’t want to be a little sister, or a daughter, or something for men to gawk at. She wanted to be something else. Anything other than this vile thing dripping with self-loathing , cloaked in a veil of perfectionism. Something that wasn’t rammed into this golden mold before she even took her very first breath.

Addie’s behavior as well as their parents favoritism only blurred the lines between love and hate between the half-siblings, complicating her understanding of relationships even further. And it certainly didn’t help that her new brother was just as stubborn and competitive as she was. The children were picture perfect, carrying on the legacy of their parents on their backs as if it weighed no more than a feather - while whatever had been good or soft in them began to rot.

But just who is Adelaide Montserrat? The reincarnation of the Virgin Mary to most. The girl with perfect hair, perfect hair and a perfect family. In truth, Adelaide could be seen only as a terror taken human form to those who opposed her, and a perfect, exemplary girl for those who keep a safe distance. What she is, what she truly is, is a game of smoking mirrors - a fragmented girl, scattered into so many pieces to cater to the whims of crowds, that now, when she looks into a mirror, the image that looks back is something recognizable; distorted.

Fueled by her own securities and desire to obtain perfection, paired with the crowd of rich kids that were offered to her as friends growing up, it didn’t take for things to escalate; by the age of only fourteen, poisoning their blood with alcohol, snorting up enough cocaine so she had to carry around wipes and kicking each other in the stomach while crouching over the toilet became somehow ordinary. Encouraged, even. All that deep-rooted self-hatred had to spill someway, somehow. She grew to resent how boys were granted more freedom, more room to misbehave and make mistake. She resented girls for being themselves, for not wanting to scream every second of every day. And she resented Samantha for how genuinely she could smile - for how easily everything came to her, and for how she was everything she could never be; while she was lying in a grave she dug herself - shackled to the image of perfection she’d crafted, held to the highest of regards, expected to never falter nor stutter. It was hard to define the relationship between her - one moment Addie was sweet, the next she was cruel. And as to that unfortunate Halloween night, she claims they parted ways before she could see anything.

All the harder she tries to cling to this illusion of control, the deeper she dives into that well. Parents often say kids will “grow out of it”; their fits of rage, their apathy towards other children, their unwillingness to share, their manipulative, spoiled ways of obtaining what they want- but Addie never did. Somewhere inside there’s still that little girl who’d rather break her toys in half than to share it with other kids. Who’d bump into other little girls at school, and tell the nurse they tripped. Who’d rather set her arm back in place herself than say “you were right”. The little girl who’ll sit in an empty throne all alone, built with the bones of the people she once claimed to love.

PERSONALITY-WISE:

Adelaide is emotionally unstable and has a very competitive, volatile, manipulative personality; she doesn’t forgive, and she sure as hell doesn’t forget, and she can lash out in incredibly ruthless ways due to her extreme lack of empathy for hers. Her addictions and unwillingness to ever speak to anyone in depth about herself only worsen the state of her BPD. Despite all this, on the surface, she can seem like just like any other pristine, privileged girl. It’s not usual for people to find her charming - she does exude that sort of magnetic aura that’s very easy to fall for, because people tend to see what they want to see - and therefore, it’s easy for her to adjust her personality to the expectations of whomever she’s trying to captivate. In a way, her entire personality has merged with her addiction: being friends with her feels a lot like moment of high in exchange for an eternity of sorrow.

She can be a loyal friend, to some extent, although she’ll never put anyone above herself. She’s also very insecure and prone to fits of rage (in private) whenever she doesn’t get what she wants (think broken mirrors and glasses), as her self-image is heavily dependent on what she can achieve and how others perceive her. Deep down, this all stems from jealousy - she so desperately wishes she could connect with other people and things the way everyone around her does, but in the end she can’t, and she’s left feeling like an outside looking in. If she’s miserable, why shouldn’t everyone around her be too?

HIT ME UP TO PLOT U COWARDS !!

for reals, though - i know this was unnecessarily long, but oh well. you can be ex friends with her? don’t know why they’re not friends anymore - but i’m willing to bet it’s addie’s fault.

maybe some sort of competitor?  academic or otherwise.

maybe there’s some poor ex out there who knows what a headcase she actually is? but probably can’t say much bc they fear for her life lmao.

she wouldn’t openly date anybody who could reflect poorly on her reputation, so secret hookups??? give me someone who’s getting sick of being used pls. ( she’s a closeted bisexual. society isn’t very welcome to the idea rn ) so girl crushes yes pls let girls have crushes on her. let her manipulate them bc she knows. i need.

also gimme someone who deals drugs to her tbh, bc this needs to be kept SUPER lowkey, but it’d also be hilarious bc she wouldn’t have to fake her personality around them & it’s like bitch what the fuck this girl is dr jekyll and mr hyde.

i’d love love to see a fake relationship - but i don’t mean the ‘secretly have feelings for each other’ - i mean the… secretly despise each other but they’re image-obsessed people and like being seen as the golden couple.

oH and pls someone give me a… dare i say sisterly connection? mostly, a girl who idolizes her or puts her on a pedestal, that she might or might not have a soft spot for ( which in addie’s handbook just means she’ll be that much crueler whenever she feels like it tbh ) & see it as some sort of protegee.

idk i’m open to anything, these are just suggestions thrown at the wall here. the point is… plot w me u cowards. and yes, my muse does bite.

[rchvnt]

                           HSHQTASK033: NEXT GEN

is this hypothetical? i’m not jerking ya’ll around when i say i really don’t know, there are odds against this

so rohan didn’t really want more than two kids, so this just goes to show who’s better at convincing the other about these things. as a whole these kids were raised with the open-mindedness and liberal stance of sweden, but with staunch indian values and culture. they are able to code-switch between the two very easily because credit to ebba, she was more of a catalyst in ensuring they got both after they were born. the no.1 rule for all of them is that family is important since they fly often. it was imperative that they had clear roots as a unit — there needed to be open communication, always.

all the kids have first names that are applicable to both indians and swedes since some names do have an overlap. rohan didn’t really care about middle names so ebba got to do whatever she wanted on that front

all the kids also have mid to light brown hair, the youngest only seems dark bc of my dumb psd soz.

veer birger   ( neil nitin mukesh )

the perfect amalgam of both parents, fair, a mix of both parents in colouring, ebba’s soft features and rohan’s nose, hair, eye colour and face shape.

he was lowkey named after ebba’s mom, vera, but with the extra e to make it indian. it means strength, might, majestic fierceness, warrior etc. the swedish middle name was met with some resistance from rohan because he kept reading it as “burger” and seriously why?? ebba won in the end... literally because she decided to be cute and he just... stopped. veer gets teased in india all the time because when they see “birger” they’ll pronounce it as burger and not birr-yaer and this is a sad fact of life. at least when he complains rohan just gets to point at ebba and accept 0 responsibility. veer doesn’t really feel burdened being the heir apparent to the swedish throne because he admires his grandmother’s legacy and is in awe of how his mother handles things. it’s an honour to serve in their wake because they aren’t handing him a mess. it doesn’t escape him that his parents union is unique and was a battle hard-won so he doesn't want to let them down. but at the same time, he feels like until he's officially 3 years away from taking over, he's allowed to have fun also, he thinks he knows what he's doing. this is something that gives ebba a little bit of grief because she feels his spirit is a bit more relaxed and free than she would like. 

annika kajsa  ( asha leo )

her colouring is closer to rohan’s and she got vera’s nose, but oddly enough her features favour her grandmothers on both sides. this trait is something she’s very pleased to carry, it sets her apart from her siblings and makes her look a touch friendlier, something she likes about herself very much. she has her paternal grandmother’s hazelnut brown eyes and absurdly long lashes. 

annika is the more gregarious one of the three, she shares rohan’s sense of humour ( the blunt one he has that comes out when he’s among his own ) and as a result she’s in cahoots with her dad a lot, and considering how secretive and silent rohan can be, this is a Feat in itself. she understands him better because of this, but it doesn’t mean she’ll take his side every single time, she mediates. being the middle child, and 15 months younger than veer, she does have middle child syndrome, and has had to pick up the slack especially behind her brother. their family has so much to do, moreso than the other royals she feels, so this gave her conviction to just be good at everything she does, and she succeeds. she helps her parents steer veer to be the best man he can be to prepare him for what he is to become someday. alfred is cooler than bruce wayne in every way and she is the alfred to his batman. 

alvira signe  ( isabelle kaif )

the baby of the family, she looks a lot like veer, the perfect amalgam of her parents, fair complexion, but with ebba’s nose instead of rohan’s although she has his eyes and makes the same expressions he does when she’s judging someone. 

alvira’s personality is exactly the soft, girly parts of ebba, and very little of the harsher colder attributes. she shares her mother’s tastes in most things, she favours simplicity, class, nature, little cottages by a stream. enjoying delicate breeze and loves the smell of fresh, soft linens, light colours and white with regal hints of blue. she just might be exactly who ebba would have been if she hadn’t been born as vera bernadotte’s heir. she wants to practise law in civil rights AND interior design ( ah ambition, who is surprised ? ) and just wishes the world would be a lot kinder than it is. she’s just so easygoing, she spreads ease and calm wherever she goes, like a little pixie leaving a trail of soft silky flower petals in her wake — the soft touch and a keen ear. she enjoys being doted on by her paternal grandparents the most because boy they spoil her like no other because she’s always so curious, and will always ask them for one more story, or one more anecdote. she knows they let her get away with more than she will in sweden, and she exploits this endlessly. when she teams up with ebba to change rohan’s mind about something he stands no chance — none at all.

[m0onbean]

strangers to lovers!AU with moonbin

genre: floOf!! strangers to lovers!AU

warnings: orchestra jokes

note: this literally happened to my sister except she didn’t get with him LMAO (and she’s in band but i’m in orchestra so i’m gonna make this AU about orchestra okay suck it candace)

in your school, orchestra is very competitive like... instead of sports being the “big” thing in typical high schools... at your town it was playing string instruments

so of course, everybody who was skilled at playing their string instrument was already deemed cool

you’re.. already at step 1... there’s just ONE problem

you’re last chair of the cellos

(note: in orchestras, the players are sorted in their seating chart by their skill. first chair is the chair closest to the conductor, so they’re the best out of their section. if you’re last chair... well.. you’re the least skilled LMAO)

bUT HEY!!!! you weren’t to blame !!!!

you first started to learn how to play the cello only a month ago

despite your private cello tutor’s efforts to spice you up it just didn’t work much. cellos are hard to play Ok

and even though it is a little embarrassing you can’t find yourself to care bc in the end you’re only doing this for your VPA credit LMFAO + your good friend MJ is also last chair in his viola section so the two of you were the Dynamic Duo. “the strings kings” as he calls it

“MJ never call us that again” “dang Y/N don’t get your bow so tightened” “MJ i swear to god-“

alrighty so your school is having a competition so your entire orchestra has to take a field trip to a fancy concert hall to perform

and so everyone in your orchestra is all panicking and tuning their strings cuz the bus is arriving soon

and when you’re done packing your cello, you look around to try and find MJ and that’s when you find a familiar(?) back and you’re like “MJ!!!!”

so you run up and smack his plush butt since that’s how you always greet him

...but you realize

this man is way too tall....

and when he turns around in utter confusion you’re like

shit........... S H I T

BECAUSE YOU JUST SPANKED THE BUTT OF A STRANGER

AND WHEN HE TURNS AROUND YOU REalize that he’s frEAKING FIRST CHAIR OF THE VIOLINS: MOONBIN

anD in your mind everything is scrambled into a mess bc first of all, it’s tHE FIRST CHAIR OF THE VIOLINS. AKA the king of the orchestra!!! literally he sits on a throne!!! he invented the word “orchestra”!!

AND IT WASNT EVEN LIKE A LOWKEY SLAP... it wAs like a FULL, haRD whack

so you’re out here apologizing several times and bowing your head frantically

but when you look up Moonbin is actually all cool about it

he’s just like “oh!!!! i wAs just... surprised” and you’re like “omfg i’m so sorry just end my life here right now i’m ready to be taken by the gods”

but he’s just like pffftttt i don’t blame you this ass is thicc asf

and you’re like ... wot

then he’s laughing and his eyes are crinkled up and he looks like a puppy & you’re like wow this man is so beautiful

but you remember you’re talking to the FIRST CHAIR VIOLIN and you get all

blushy from receiving this individual attention from him

so you excuse yourself and run away to whoever knows where so you can crumble and die from embarrassment

when the bus arrives and you find MJ to be your seat partner he asks why you look so drained

and you’re like... please i don’t want to talk about it

at the competition you’re still embarrassed bc honestly you technically sexually harassed him and that just goes unexcused but he was so chill about it like how?? and why??

and you don’t realize it but you’re zoning out while shamefully plucking the strings of your cello when suddenly a head pops up in front of you and you’re like bITCHWTF but when you see it’s moonbin you’re like- oh.. Ooh??

and he’s like “are you ready for the concert!!” and you’re like “uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh notreally”

and he’s all smiley and happy that it’s nearly impossible not to at least smile back

yet you still can’t believe you’re talking to him !!!! especially because you’re pretty sure everybody is staring at the two of you talking rn and is like Why is the last chair cello and first chair violin talking ????

you two end up complaining about how the concert hall doesn’t provide you guys free food and laugh about your conductor’s bald spot

the performance goes well and you feel all giddy when moonbin tells you that you did well when you get back to the school

you end up messaging him for the first time on Instagram and apologize once again for slapping his buttkckskskaoa

he ends up dismissing it and assures you that it was nice

and you were like ....???wHAT

but he quickly corrects himself in the next message bubble and is liKE “wAIT I DIDNT MEAN IT LIKE THAT-“

that’s when you start to question his kinks

at school he starts to normally hang around you and even offers to play your cello and for you play to his violin

the star musician is actually better than you at the cello even though he’s only played it a few times before

you don’t even know how to hold the violin bow RIP

whenever you’re not in orchestra class together, he somehow manages to find you while you’re studying in the library or walking around the hallways

at first you’re a little taken aback at how persistent he is to maintain your odd friendship but you actually don’t mind at all

he suggests to tutor you so you can sight read pieces better and you of course take up that offer...

for the first quarter of the “lesson” it was actually learning while the other time was spent lounging on his couch while talking about both of your hardships and goals in life

despite being pressured as the star musician of the school, he loves and can perfectly handle it

his parents and teachers are always praising him and that motivates him to enter a musical college and major in Music Education and maybe start his own teaching business

his dreams are always so realistic and hopeful at the same time that you just admire how hard working he is and how he manages to not crack like an egg under all of this stress honestly

MJ starts getting a little jealous and pouts when you started to hang around moonbin more often but at the same time is secretly rooting for the two of you to hook up wHAT

moonbin ends up spending a LOT of time with you... in fact he spends so much time with you that you can’t recall what it was like not being around him

somewhere throughout the friendship there’s a turning point where you realize he’s not just your friend.. or you don’t want him to be JUST that

it comes at no surprise when you shyly ask him to be your boyfriend while you two are cuddling in your living room while listening to classical music in the background with him reading a book and you playing with his fingers

his response? a little scoff like “isn’t it obvious we are practically already dating”

you’re a bit hesitant to fully submerge yourself into this relationship bc you always need to remind yourself of both of your circumstances... he’s first chair violin and he’s like wayyyyy above you and it worries you bc you care about his reputation

and when you voice these concerns to him he just pets you and softly says “(y/n)... it’s literally just string instruments . nobody cares”

... he’s totally right though. nobody cares at all lmaooolo,, except maybe all of his fans that were hoping to date him... but moonbin is totally oblivious that he has a fan club LMFAO

your relationship is so pure and innocent yet it still makes your head spin and heart feel so tingly

moonbin is romantic af and wouldn’t hesitate to pluck a flower off the ground and tuck it behind your ear casually

he would like to always compliment your voice and say it’s the best music he’s ever heard and will ever hear

likes to compose his own songs and title them very lowkey things that all refer to you such as... Untied Shoelaces or Beautiful Eyes

other times he’ll just flat out title the song “(Y/N)”

likes to kiss you... a lot.

kisses you everywhere and whenever. in the music room, when he’s about the leave your house after a night of studying and cuddling, while you’re just playing the cello and he thinks you look cute, when there’s a red stop light so he can pause driving and peck your lips

you two are so open that it’s so easy telling him anything. for ex you’re constantly worried about your future and feel like you’re lacking. he makes sure to tell you that you’re doing fine and that you’ll succeed at whatever you do

and you comfort him and remind him to take a break since he’s always striving for the best so he tends to overwork and be really hard on himself

Moonbin always teases you for being so entranced by his butt the first time you met and thanks to your butt fetish, the two of you are together now

and you can’t really deny it because... well.. he’s not wrong lmaooo

dates would include him in your room at 10pm complaining about how even though classical music goes underappreciated these days that doesn’t mean that modern pop music isn’t good while laying his head in your lap as you run your fingers through his hair and nod your head whenever he makes a good point

occasionally he’ll cook for you and you’ll try to compensate by cooking for him too but it never ends up good (AKA you two end up burning all of the food) so you guys resort to ordering pizza

moonbin is so grateful that you understand him and remind him that he is a human that needs a break, too

and you’re grateful that he’s so understanding and genuinely cares about you

he even confesses that one of the main reasons why he took interest in you was because you were last chair cello but you didn’t slack off at all

even though you think he’s the most hard working person you know, he thinks the same about you

eventually MJ meets Jinjin, a trombone player, and immediately goes on a double date with you & binnie

you almost shed tears at how in love MJ is with Jinjin and the four of you are literally the best squad to have happened

in conclusion, you and moonbin love eachother so much and are perfect bye

[xereispws]

Sometimes i think about men . I mean in a serious way . As human beings . Its hard to do so with all the shit that happens and the things i hear and experience from them everyday . I really hate them . But i really got such a deep love for them .

Like when it comes to my personal life i want to trust them and be connected with them to the roots . They are not emotionally unintelligent otherwise how they manipulate the girls like that ?

I want to reach to a point that ill buy flowers for them. Or make them a comfy bed to rest.Like have you ever thought that the gifts and services that are "for women" are for any kind of human ?

I want the hate to leave and be in the position to deside if i want to give them actions of servise without thinking that they worth shit and i wont do anything.

Im glad that my relationships from 14 to 19 was so healthy and im not traumatized in a way.Im glad i felt safe . Im glad that ive never been worried in my life if my partners cheated on me. Im glad i got worried about if they ate, if they felt good inside of me ,if they had fun with their friends or ever if someone likes them bc i like to get jealois at times for fun. Im glad my actions were not defined by toxic masculinity. I opened the door for them. I bought them drinks without them knowing it and i let the waiters say 'the drinks are from the girl' , i wiped away their tears .

I refused to be a mum on the other hand. Im not a kind of woman that will make you change by letting you spit on me so you can find the courage to do so . Im not patient for that and i have the kind of daddy issues that i wont actually stay if you dont want to evolve as a person. I have a strong ass soul to be your throne but is you that got to lead your kingdom.

The otherday i was with a big crush of mine and the day we met we hang out with his bestfriends , we went to the gym ( yeah i know its like wtf) and at night we smoked weed with the doppest music. My system is not very strong so it hit me in the back of my mind . I got stressed and paralized by the thought that i may be in danger . I barely know him and i thought this is how all the rapes happen . I was tripping and i fucking left it was so bad . But the worst part is that he never understood why i felt this way and that it was nothing to do with him but with my survival mode as a woman .And a bad trip that i had no control of.

This is so dissapointing . How can you call yourself a man and dont understand the most obvious fear of a woman. He didnt even ask if i was okay the next day. Like he didnt even do the human part.

l was really bad tripping like i lost the sense of time . he looks like an angel but his face turned to a demon and i felt unsafe.

This has to stop . I dont wanna be afraid.

I wanna dress in a way and i dont because i get so much looks that discuss me. I say it dont worth it . I have short hair and i dress like boy (i love it and i feel so sexy cause im clean frash smooth and sexy in the inside) but im sure a part of that has to do with the fact that if i dress this way nobody gona rape me or sth if im alone at night hours. Also i walk most of times kinda manly so they think im a boy and i feel so safe that way.

Im proud of my self for trying not to give a shit . To the gym for example i wear the exact opposite. YOU CAN LOOK AT MY FUCKING ASS OKEY? and if they make me uncomfortable i look them dead in their eyes and i say look away . I really do say with my deep voice look away . And they say sorry and do it . Fuck you and your sorries sometimes i wish i could punch you.

When i was 9 or 10 i did punch them . I was a badass for real . Nobody wanted me cause i was strong and smart as hell. I was wearing black all the time . Dope shit.

Please please make women feel safe .

Your momma your sister your friend a stranger...support them and fuck all your hommies that are disrespectful. Stop acting like babies and embrace them . Live with them understand them. Because we are the shit.

Dont show pictures keep your mouth shut keep them safe .

Be gentle

Be kind

Be aware

Be honest..

Because if you hurt them you hurt yourselves and you too dumb to even realize that.

[poealsobucky]

Time to be Saved!

I’m spending Christmas Eve with Hot Joseph. Block ‘hot joseph 2017′ to disregard this post.

Sorry. I meant to start this earlier but my super Polish grandma would have come back to haunt me if I didn’t make pierogies first.

ANYWAYS. Let’s do this! Stream-of-consciousness style.

Disclaimer: I’m sober and was raised Catholic so some saltiness might appear.

Oscar I hope you know I’m watching this for you. Ugh. I could be watching elf.

Ooh there’s a word crawl! Foreshadowing?

Zachariah is gettin the good word - you’re gonna be a daddy! 

Oh shit he just ripped off his sacramental garb! 

Now we’re in a field. 

Mary, you aren’t allowed to have fun. TSK TSK

There he is! HOT JOSEPH EVERYBODY! Checkin out Mary as she walks by!

You know, Mary’s parents are not very nice.

I’m having CCD flashbacks. Help me hot Joseph.

Ohhhhhh he’s hammering.fjdjdn

Wait dudes on horses are interrupting his hammering.

Oh fuck someone didn’t pay their taxes. 

Joseph looks concerned

They are taking women to pay for taxes, fuck these dudes! HIDE YO DAUGHTERS!!!

Hide, Mary!!!!

HOT JOSEPH PLEASE TELL ME YOU HAVE ENOUGH CASH!!!

he BOUGHT THE MULE HE GAVE IT TO MARY THIS IS TRUE LOVE. HOLY MOLY HOT JOSEPH YOU ARE THE BEST 

The prophecy ain’t no myth. You’re all fucked.

Okay there is Persia, we’ve moved everyone. 

Codebreakers! Where’s dan brown?!

THESE ARE THE WISE MEN

They are intense. 

Oh back to Israel. 

JOSEPH IS THERE WAITING.

Mary just got told she was betrothed and now she’s married

See what happens when you accept a dude’s mule?

He just got the no sex talk from Mary’s old man.

She isn’t hearing it, she left

HOT JOSEPH I’M SORRY

MARY what’s up you saw him right? With your own eyes? 

You will love him Mary don’t worry.

Joseph is good AND strong. Mary isn’t so sure. She guesses he’s like 5′7 1/2 though which is towering back then.

There are creepy whispers...is that Gabriel? 

Mary found favor Idk they are talking softly 

More CCD flashbacks.

She just takes this ethereal strangers word for it ya know. What is she gonna tell Hot Joseph?

Mary wants to go see Zach and liz 

Looks like things are crazy on the road. She didn’t even say bye to HJ - based on what I have seen he won’t be happy 

Elizabeth knew! She knew Mary was preggo 

Hey it’s Mikael’s mom from The Promise! 

The wise men are still at it! Those rascals. 

Mary’s asking the tough questions.

Baby Jesus is moving - Liz, you don’t even know

HOT JOSEPH IS MAD!! HE IS POUNDING THAT HAMMER. Oh shit he threw it down! Someone has a temper issue! 

“Melchior, I don’t wanna go on a road trip!!!”- the other two wisemen

Labor ?

Looks terrible! 

Well. That happened.

Hot Joseph is super awkward. You can tell he’s a total dork. But lovable. I love that curly hair too, ya know?

Uh oh Mary is headed home! 

Bad things happened on that road, too. what is it with these roads, man? They look like Game of Thrones stopped by.

Men in power. *yawn*

This one guy looks like a Jonas brother 

Wait you are tryin to tell me only 2 wisemen set out? 

Ah there’s he is “you forgot the map.” They bicker like golden girls !!

HJ is so happy!!! Mary is back!!!

His eyes are HUGE, he’s seein’ her belly omg

She walked right past him too, didn’t say anything. 

Joseph wanders off, stunned. Well...this marriage is going well

He’s crying! Wtf Mary! You could be a little nicer! You’re the one that agreed to carry the messiah all HJ wanted was a nice house with a sturdy ROOF.

He chose her bc he thought she had great virtue! 

TEARY EYED HOT JOSEPH NOOOO

HE IS PROTECTING HER FROM TRIAL, no stones for Mary.

BUT HE AINT OK WITH IT YET 

His anger is intense! He’s walking...walking...some dude tries to hand him the biggest rock

Who are they stoning omg...wait a minute

He is dreaming !!!! There’s Gabe.

He believes her!! Gabe told him in his dream to believe her.

Ugh I think hot Joseph doesn’t get enough credit. 

Bad men are coming. There’s a census. 

Nothing good happens when people start taking notes. Especially the government.

HJ has to go to Bethlehem, the land of his ancestors.

Boy she hit the jackpot, didn’t she, with him. He’s like Sure I’ll walk the whole way and lead this donkey and not eat.

HJ just made a  funny! They are passing all the dbags who whisper about them all the time and he goes, “they are going to miss us.” 😂

HJ is gutting a fish and speaking softly. He wonders if he can teach Jesus anything...awww...hammering stuff probably

They got stopped and got searched cuz of paranoid king nutbag.

Some fortune teller just mentioned the kid wasn’t his, ouch. The look he gave her. 

Are they sacrificing the cow? “Pass your sins to the animal.” Really?

Omfg the animal isn’t receiving your sins you coward. You still have them because you’re evil. I hate them.

Poor donkey I mean... everything has it rough. But this donkey has seen some things.

HJ gave a giant piece of bread to the missus and took only a nibble for himself. 

He fed the donkey his share. Awwww he’s petting it and talking to it. “I’m the hungry one,” he says. You cheeky little carpenter.

OH NO THE DONKEY SAW A SNAKE AND KNOCKED MARY OFF INTO THE WATER!

HJ saves the day! 

He is doing so well but he’s exhausted. She is gonna wash his feet while she talks to herself and the baby about how pure Joseph is.

(PS - oscar sleeping is adorable sidenote red alert)

For HOT AIR, HJ’s curly hair is on point!

Ahhhh Jerusalem. “It was meant to be a holy city.”

Some dude grabs their coin purse. No, literally.

“What belongs to us, stays with us.” Don’t try to rob them. 

Now to Bethlehem. 

“What was your gift?” Mary asks the shepherd. “Nothing,” he replies.

I feel, shepherd.

She is in labor ohhhhhhh joseph it’s go time!

THERES THAT SHINY STAR

IT WAS JUST THREE THINGS ALIGNING I GUESS

HJ IS DELIVERING THIS KID. HES IN IT TO WIN IT

MAD LAUGHTER - Joseph is at a breaking point 

NAKED BABY BUTT cover it UP

OMG HJ HOLDING A BABY ughhhhhhhhhh it’s too much

HOT JOSEPH LOOKS SO VULNERABLE 

THE WISEMEN COMETH

it’s linus’ speech! 

HJ is too much. I stomped to this movie expecting to laugh a lot at bad filmmaking but dammit oscar  I wasn’t expecting this I wasn’t EXPECTING TO CARE ABOUT JOSEPH THIS MUCH I’M ROOTING FOR HIM (more than mary????? lol)

here COMES THE NEIGHBORHOOD

mary’s face thru much of this film has been fairly stony. Is she even present in the moment? haha

HJ cannot believe their gifts -  the gold is his fav but he’s feeling the myrrh too.

The wisecracking wise man is in shock. He was sassy this whole time, too.

Ya know, at least Mary didn’t have to be a single mom.

The wisemen are keeping the secret. Probably for the best, dudes. You heard the crazy people. 

Man I forgot what psychos these people were (are???!!!!!) over power

HJ getting the heck out of there just in time. He has to have SO MANY BLISTERS.

They are fleeing to Egypt

Apparently I didn’t pay attention in CCD, and also that poor donkey. I havent seen any of them eat in days.

Man kudos to oscar for ALL OF THE ENDLESS WALKING 

And it’s over.

 Thank you Hot Joseph.