#bc that's not what the other wants
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See this is why we need more media of the following if people actually want to talk about old timey fuckboy vampires:
-Lord Ruthven: Player, gambler, world traveller, soothsayer. Seduces maidens to marry him, and on their wedding night he stabs them, drinks their blood, and leaves for the next one. Makes men shut down and swear oaths of loyalty.
-Carmilla: (for your Fuckboy until Getting Smitten trope). literally has a travelling troupe she goes from village to village with, saduing and drinking girl after girl without fail, then she meets Laura and goes babe I am ready to settle. in undeath. all those other girls did not matter. i have never fallen in love with any just you babe die in me. doesn't stop her from biting her titty every night and drinking her like a caprisun
-Clarimonde is textually performing orgies all over France. it makes an Abbot so mad that she's corrupting people into sin among them a young priest. she keeps having those parties even after she seduces her boytoy. unlike Carmilla though she hates harming him and struggles badly with her bloody urges.
-Dracula done right. "I have crossed oceans of time" He Would Not Fucking Say That. Jonathan was his summer fling, Dracula left him home to turn once he was done with him, Lucy was his next obsession, Also left her to turn once he was done with her, Mina was his next target out of sheer anger towards her for constantly thwarting him, left her to turn and to turn the men... he is not Orlok, he literally fucked around until he found out.
yesssss omg honestly Carmilla would make a perfect period romance Rake - especially if she is to fall in actual love by accident! Frankly, I didn't know I needed this until now, but now that I am considering the concept, I am finding it delightful.
I imagine that the classic lit vampires all think Orlok is a bit of a prude. Spent three centuries alone, waited until marriage both times to get with Ellen, and the only other person he was with sexually was her legally wedded husband?.. Come on.
They would watch Nosferatu like a Hallmark movie.
#nosferatu#nosferatu 2024#count orlok#vampires#lord ruthven#carmilla#carmilla karnstein#count dracula#i stand by that last point actually. Nosferatu (2024) would be a hallmark movie equivalent to vampires#it's christmasy. it's got that whole reigniting old love interest trope (by vampire standards)#one of the main frustrations ellen has w thomas is that he prioritizes his work/career over Her#which is relatively reasonable all things considered he's worried abt being able to provide for them#but they like. never talked abt it properly so there's this resentment on either side bc they want entirely different things in life#and keep trying to provide them to each other and obviously the efforts aren't appreciated right#bc that's not what the other wants#but point is. that is classic christmas movie shit. CLASSIC.#quirky old man - check. idyllic straight couple who is an Example of Settled Matrimony - check#dracula catches ruthven and carmilla watching it on christmas day and is like are y'all serious#and they're like UGH shut up!! get in the christmas spirit you grinch - omg look they're about to kiss#ellen x orlok#orlok x thomas#hollstein
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unpopular opinion but i think a ship that's not canon but both halves are canonically insane about each other is infinitely better than a ship that's canon and boring
#like on 911 buck and eddie have never kissed and maybe never will but buck watched eddie get shot and eddie bled all over him#and then eddie listed buck as chris's guardian in his will in case anything ever happened to eddie. insane! compelling!#meanwhile on 911 lone star tarlos is canon and they are not insane about each other and that's why the ship is boring as fuck#on night court dan and harry never kissed but harry planned dan's funeral when dan was presumed dead bc dan made harry his next of kin#and that's way more interesting than any harry/christine kiss we got#i'm not saying you can't want your ship to fuck i just don't see why some people are like 'xyz ship HAS to fuck or what's the POINT'#the point is they're insane about each other. are you not entertained#personal
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is that piece of media actually bad, or is it just not following the blueprint you projected onto it? is that work actually not good, or are you just demanding something from it that is absolutely antithetical to its themes, genre, tone, and narrative goal? is that story actually poorly written, or do you just dislike that it is not the specific things you wanted from it that it never set out to be, never was, and never is going to become? is it actually bad, or is it actually well-executed and you just dislike the story it chose to be because it isn't catering to your specific desires and expectations?
#This was prompted by a specific thing but it is also about dozens and dozens of things#Everyone going “XYZ is actually bad” like congratulations I wasn't saying stuff can't be bad.#I was saying that you should ask yourself these questions first bc sometimes it's just not to your sensibility.#Former Prime Queue-sector of the Trust#ETA: now that it's been months and this is going around again while certain conversations happen in other fandoms I'm in#It's good to clarify what specifically set off this post even tho it applies to many things. But this was about someone#saying Midst is thematically and narratively incoherent bc it wasn't “everyone is miserable forever and nobody gets better” like they wante
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historical drama/sitcom where two gay best friends (woman and man) get lavender married--and proceed to spend the Fancy European Honeymoon their parents paid for acting as each other's wingman
#and hijinks ensue. obviously.#BONUS POINTS if they're gender nonconforming/questioning/trans coded#back at home they'd get dressed up then switch outfits in the taxi on the way to the gay club#now that they're married/on vacation in a new country they just wear what they want#he already has a glamorous collection of silk dressing gowns but she's the one who drags him out to buy a closet full of evening gowns#he tries to throw his suits out to make closet space and she steals them for her own wardrobe#also i think they should be a fun mixture of supportive and Cattily Judgemental about each other's dating decisions#just for funsies#like when your bestie is making a mess of their love life but you're in no position to lecture them bc youre WORSE#no wait wait wait#FINAL SEASON they both realize they're trans and move abroad permanently--where they each assume the other's legal identity!!!#SERIES FINALE: a joyful double wedding--wherein they lovingly divorce each other#and (under their switched identities) legally marry their longterm partners
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he's so cute and sillyyy 😫 my goood, look at him, just look at him!! how do we even have the nerve to pump his life with angst? my dude deserves to be happy 24/7







#this guy is impossible to hate. it's just so so impossible#i actually think he doesn't have any sworn enemies among the decepticons bc even they can't really hate him#no matter what you will like him#it just automatically happens. it can't be any other way#people are like NO we forbid you here strange extraterrestrial robots! find yourself a home somewhere else! we don't want your problems!#and then optimus is like okay you leave me no choice... here are my secret weapon#and jazz comes out and smiles and says “hi there tiny dudes 👋😄”#and people are charmed. okay autobots you can do whatever you want on this planet as long as you keep this little cutie with you#tf jazz#jazz transformers#transformers#maccadam#tf
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was talking with a friend about how some of dunmeshi fаndom misunderstands kabru's initial feelings towards laios.
to sum up kabru's situation via a self-contained modernized metaphor:
kabru is like a guy who lost his entire family in a highly traumatic car accident. years later he joins a discord server and takes note of laios, another server member who seems interesting, so they start chatting. then laios reveals his special interest and favorite movie of all time is David Cronenberg's Crash (1996), and invites kabru to go watch a demolition derby with him
#dungeon meshi#delicious in dungeon#kabru#kabru already added laios as a discord friend. everyone else in the server can see laios excitedly asking kabru to go with him#what would You even Do in this situation. how would YOU feel?#basically: kabru isnt a laios-hater! hes just in shock bc Thats His Trauma. the key part is kabru still says yes#bc he wants to get to know laios. to understand why laios would be so fascinated by something horrific to him#and ALSO bc even while in shock kabru can still tell laios has unique expertise + knowledge that Could be used for Good#even if kabru doesnt fully trust laios yet (bc kabru just started talking to the guy 2 hours ago. they barely know each other)#kabru also understands that getting to know ppl (esp laios) means having to get to know their passions. even if it triggers his trauma here#but thats too much to fit in this metaphor/analogy. this is NOT an AU! its not supposed to cover everything abt kabru or laios' character!#its a self-contained metaphor written Specifically to be more easily relatable+thus easy to understand for general ppl online#(ie. assumed discord users. hence why i said (a non-specific) 'discord server' and not something specific like 'car repair subreddit')#its for ppl who mightve not fully grasped kabru's character+intentions and think hes being mean/'chaotic'/murderous.#to place ppl in kabru's shoes in an emotionally similar situation thats more possible/grounded in irl experiences and contexts.#and also for the movie punchline#mynn.txt#dm text#crossposting my tweets onto here since my friends suggested so
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been thinking about jason being petty towards bruce. like, oh, you spend time with your other kids, but not me? tire privileges revoked! it would be over stupid shit too.
like there’s one time bruce decides to take damien to the movies, and jason is just beside himself.
like the conversation would be like:
JASON: So, let me get this straight—you took Damian to a movie.
BRUCE: He asked.
JASON: Oh, and I wouldn’t have wanted to see Kung Fu Panda 4 with you?!
BRUCE: You were busy.
JASON: Busy taking down a cartel. Which, by the way, I learned from you. I deserve quality time!
BRUCE: Jason—
JASON: No. No excuses. You’ll learn.
Jason storms off. Five minutes later, an alert pops up on the Batcomputer.
BATCOMPUTER: Warning: Batmobile rear tires have been removed.
BRUCE: …Jason.
Cut to Jason outside, rolling two Batmobile tires away, cackling.
#this isn’t the last time jason steals the tires#bruce keeps doing stuff with the other batkids#and Jason is like look at this opportunity#like imagining if tim gets arrested for something bc i mean come on tims a menace#then bruce just bails tim out and just the week before jason was arrested and bruce let him sit in jail for like two days#jason blew up something so like bad jason#either way jason is like i warned you batbitch and he steals the tires from the batmobile again and then who knows what happens to the tires#unfortunately it gets worse#bc bruce then takes dick to a fancy ass dinner#and it’s to one of Jason’s favorite stakehouses#Like it was the only fancy food place he could stand#good steak is good steak#and jason’s like this is crossing a line#so instead of stealing the tires again#he just takes the entire batmobile#how? no one knows#no one sees the batmobile again or the tires#at least until Batman gets a call from various members of the JL asking him why pieces of the batmobile have been popping up in the city#however it’s about the car itself#no one knows where the tires are still#jason calling Oliver up and saying like i don’t like you man but like we both don’t like batman want his tires?#jason todd#bruce wayne#dick grayson#tim drake#dc universe#batman#batfamily#batfam#damian wayne
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hello rookanis nation. can i present rel and lucanis’s dynamic. sun and moon trope, one with boundless energy and one who gets 2 hours of sleep a night, guy i pulled by being an idiot, etc. they’re special to me
#rookanis#lucanis dellamorte#datv#dragon age the veilguard#veilguard#dragon age#reposting bc i wanted to format it differently thank u thank u#anyway what i said in the other tags is that when spite sleepwalks rel never wakes lucanis up he just like hangs out with spite#they play wicked grace#also rel isn’t allowed in the kitchen bc he burnt a hole in the pan one time trying to make an omelette#and yes of course rel is a sweets guy ofc i chose the sweet drinks option#rel is full of boundless optimism and stupidity#him and lucanis are like that one tumblr post about being morosexual#rel: what color is the pink panther#lucanis taking his clothes off: rel you’re so fucking stupid#my art
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truth serum / system reveal au where shen qingqiu gets hit with an uncloaking spell that reveals the system in the reflection of his eyes every time it pops up.
during one of his missions, in the treasure hoard of some dragon-like creature, he finds a golden, oval shaped hand mirror, its gaudy style more victorian based than anything (airplane you hack!), that doesn't seem to do anything when he looks into it. but when he does, it reveals the system's screen in his eyes.
he doesn't notice this, of course, because he can't see it, and the system, surprisingly, stays quiet.
the peak lords think he's cursed.
maybe mu qingfang is the first to notice, during the mandatory post mission check-up, when shen qingqiu is scrolling through his most recently accumulated points and mu qingfang can see the strange vividly-blue lines reflected in his pupils. it's gone when shen qingqiu blinks, like it was nothing but a trick of the light.
it comes out when yue qingyuan is visiting and, just as he's done laying out the plans for a new mission, shen qingqiu's eyes glaze over and a bright blue box takes over the whole of his iris. shen qingqiu goes quiet; the thing in his eyes moves, shifts, pulses for a second, like static worms crawling all over his pupils. then he blinks, and it's gone, and shen qingqiu accepts the mission that yue qingyuan was almost sure he would decline.
maybe there is an intervention, when the peak lords corner shen qingqiu at qian cao peak and try to figure out what's wrong, subjecting him to all kinds of treatments and curse-finding spells that turn up empty, they can't find anything.
of course, the silencing threat is still very much up and running. at first shen qingqiu was kind of confused by the whole ordeal, but when the peak lords start describing a "strange blue box", he realizes, with sickening suddenty, that they're describing the system. and he can't say anything.
this only makes everything worse, because their fellow peak lord now keeps evading every question and acts like he doesn't understand. liu qingge points right at his face and asks, "that blue box, what is it?" and shen qingqiu laughs nervously and starts talking about how bright the weather is and surely it's the sky and nothing to worry about!
even worse, during the intervention the system thought it was a good idea to start talking to him, so now even the peak lords who hadn't seen it and who might have been persuaded by light tricks and reflections, get a first row view that no, that definitely isn't a trick of the light.
they try to do the whole thing of "are you in danger, blink twice" but shen qingqiu can't even do that because it's still a direct admittance!
maybe eventually he starts saying vague confirmations that don't actually confirm anything, like "this master hears what you're saying", or maybe he goes with a classic "this master can neither confirm nor deny that." but the system starts warning him for that too and eventually he stops saying anything, which worries the others more.
luckily mu qingfang catches on that every time they ask a direct question about the box or shen qingqiu says anything vaguely confirming, it appears. it doesn't appear when they ask about curses or demons, so it must not see that as a threat.
for a little extra angst: maybe the peak lords keep pressuring him for answers, and at some point shen qingqiu gets fed up and snaps out something like, "why don't you understand that i'm not allowed to answer that!" the system counts this as a direct admittance, threatening it's existence. so it punishes. shen qingqiu has a qi deviation so bad it lasts two weeks and takes two people every day to cleanse his meridians. the system doesn't appear in that time. it doesn't appear for a long while after that, either. the peak lords stop asking, mainly because shen qingqiu will instantly leave the room if they do. they don't stop searching for a cure, though.
shang qinghua returns from a business trip and catches on the second someone mentions a blue box and forced silencing.
#i like the idea of sqq sort of disassociating every time he talks with the system#like his eyes go unfocused and he goes quiet and doesnt seem to hear what others are saying#and the others always thought that was odd but hey. whatever. until some strange *thing* started showing up#i do also like the idea of the system slowly allowing sqq more liberties#bc its decided it likes this storyline#liu qingge comes to cleanse sqqs meridians and gets red with anger when the system pops up in sqqs eyes#but then sqq reaches out to him and says ''no. it... likes you.''#the system doesnt (cant) really like anyone. but its gifting him friendship points when liu qingge visits him and that's positive?#liu qingge doesnt see it as positive and gets even more mad because what do you MEAN this monster enitity ''likes him''????#liu qingge is going to kill it the first chance he has!!#yue qingyuan talks about a mission looking for volunteers and you can *see* his face fall when the blue box appears#''it wants you to go. doesn't it?'' ''this shidi would like to join this mission.'' ''i understand.''#sometimes the blue box appears and sqq looks *stricken*. like he just saw something really awful#but he just cant talk about it#svsss#scum villain's self saving system#scum villain#shen qingqiu#yue qingyuan#mu qingfang#system svsss#svsss au#reveal au
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quick itfs sketch page
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#yuji itadori#megumi fushiguro#itafushi#fushiita#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#yuuji#megumi#fr some reason it's rare fr me to b happy with monochrome pieces so i am combatting tht general dislike by making it itfs#harder 2 dislike smth when it's a bunch of sketches of my ship kissing#oh ya threw in some good ol Corner Angst also bc i ended up not wanting 2 draw a third kiss dsfhjshdsdfjg#doing this got me thinking about tht one itfs piece i did back in april#captioned smth smth 'im on an itafushi kick'#n how that was like. the piece that opened the floodgates n made me realize how actually insane i am abt them#before it was just a casual Yeah This Ship Is Cute ill draw for it when the mood strikes#then after doing tht draws i ws like wait a minute whats happening to me#now here i am 5 months later completely emotionally dependent on these 2 traumatized 15 year olds#anyway this sheet is kind of an homage 2 the other one :'> how far ive come. how far theyve come. they make me ill every waking hour
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Something about Viktor and Jayce waking up and cuddling in bed idk. I was sleep deprived and finished this at 6am in the morning after being up all night. So that’s why the lighting doesn’t make the most sense.
#jayvik#arcane#jayce talis#arcane jayce#viktor arcane#and they’re t4t bc why not#I loves them so much im sending pipe bombs to their residence as we speak /j#no but fr I love them so much they’re so special to me#fun fact this was gonna be no beard Jayce and uhh normal hair Viktor but my hands had other plans lol#idk how the hell I did this#ngl I’m embarrassed about posting this cause I literally JUST drew it this morning and I feel like I’m asking for attention#which is exactly what I’m doing I wanna show it off and that’s okay#be cringe be free#my art#also this is uhh relatively low effort I cleaned it up as much I could before I didn’t want to anymore#bc remember I was very sleepy when I made this#okay im gonna stop adding tags bc now im just stalling bye
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The Allegiance of the Ascended Vampire and the New God of Magic
#bloodweave#baldur's gate 3#bg3#gale x astarion#astarion x gale#gale dekarios#astarion ancunin#yes this is about astarion helping gale defeat mystra and take her place with the crown in exchange for gale helping him with the ritual#the ‘they can make each other worse’ part of their relationship turned to the max#I enjoy them being reluctantly soft for each other more but from time to time I just think about how powerful they could get together#toxic evil boyfriends. take love and twist it up until it’s unrecognisable#I like to think that astarion approached gale with that offer after realising no one else in camp is gonna help him#and that he can use gales own hunger for power which backfired when astarion actually became emotionally invested in gale#and after gale kept his word despite everyone’s concerns astarion changed his plan from not fullfilling his end of the bargain to actually#helping gale kill mystra (mostly so that gale could belong to him and him alone. and letting him take the place as a god bc having a god#at you beck and call is definitely appealing. especially one as eager to please as gale)#anyway what I want to say with this is please please please let me kill mystra i don’t even care if the weave gets destroyed again
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i keep seeing people say the doctor shouldn’t have feelings for rogue because he’s married to river…? river song… who has also married multiple people… one of the most polyamorous characters in the show…?
#i think the only issue river would have is that she wasn’t there to witness it#ngl#plus when has the doctor ever been strictly monogamous???#even when he was infatuated with rose he still had feelings for other people too#madame de pompadour anyone ??? hello?? 😭#and river’s been gone for multiple regens now… is the doctor meant to never have a relationship ever again or what#gonna be real i think if rogue was a woman i’d be seeing less Ummm He Has A Wife The Doctor Wouldn’t Cheat Like This takes#i really don’t think the doctor & river were ever strictly only with each other bro like they’ve always had a more open relationship anyway#🤷🏻♂️🤷🏻♂️🤷🏻♂️#doctor who#15th doctor#rogue doctor who#river song#timerogue#dndoctor#yowzah#twiver#ehhh yeah.#y’know ????#also as people have mentioned she’s dead#i didn’t make that part of my post bc timey wimey whatever people still want her to return somehow#so if she *was* alive and the doctor wasn’t literally a widow… she’d have no problem with rogue 😭😭#keepin this post ambiguous for u river return truthers
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btw if you borrow dvds or cds from library you can rip them onto your own blanks or onto your hard drive or whatever. librarians don’t care and they won’t know if you do it or not
#not pjo#chitter chatter#library tag#when I was training as a page one librarian was showing us the music section#and was like people come in and take out a bunch of cds and rip them onto their phones and return them the next day#it’s materials moving in and out baby that’s all that matters#get yourself a library card#(not all libraries have a music and dvd/bluray section but it’s worth checking!)#(and get a library card even if you don’t use it)#(but check out your local library to see what they do offer bc there’s lots of programs and other things too)#(not every public library is perfect but you can help influence it to make it the space you want)#100#1000
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hero/villain showdown but one of them has a spontaneous medical emergency and the battle gets put on hold while their archnemesis drives them to Urgent Care
#it should be like. a hernia. or diverticulitis#something intestinal for maximum Awkward Scenario#and the entire car ride alternates between awkward silence and the driver lecturing their nemesis on the importance of regular check-ups#this is funnier if the hero is the one having the hernia tbh. but both options are Very Good#want to emphasize that it is a 'medical emergency ' that is clearly not extreme enough for the emergency room#and the sidekick/henchperson gets stuck in traffic so the hero/villain stays for moral support#they spend 8 hours in the waiting room playing Uno (it devolves into a screaming match)#at the end of the ordeal one of them vows to burn the hospital to the ground with their laser eye powers#and it's Not The One You Think#oh oh oh! ALTERNATIVELY:#it's an allergic reaction; one of them accidentally poisoned the other by using like. soybean derivative in a tranquilizer dart#emphasis on *accidentally*. yes they were technically fighting but That Wasn't Supposed To Happen#so now they're obligated to take responsibility and Stay In The Waiting Room#(can't decide if it's funnier if it's the hero or the villain stuck in this situation)#(probably the villain)#“why didn't you TELL me you were allergic to soybeans???”#“um because you would use it against me in combat?”#“as opposed to NOT telling me! which has worked out fantastic for you!!!”#villain being genuinely offended bc they have a biochemistry degree and have invented literally dozens of untraceable poisons#they have the scientific skill to poison their favorite jackass in hundreds of ways#(and have done so before! in admittedly non-fatal outcomes but that was by design okay)#but it's “dangerous” to do them the simple curtesy of informing them about a SOY ALLERGY????#above all else they consider themself a scientist#and they're LIVID that their favorite (reluctant) test subject lied about their medical history#“technically i didn't LIE--#“I read you the questionnaire! the very first time i held u hostage i READ YOU THE QUESTIONNAIRE!!!”#“...the what now”#“the MEDI--holy shit you weren't even paying attention were you#i had you bound and gagged over an ACTUAL BUBBLING ACID PIT and you couldn't even be bothered to--#“--so i was obviously a bit BUSY at that moment! I'm sorry i ignored your VILLAINOUS MONOLOGUING while the BLOOD WAS RUSHING TO MY HEAD but
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rivals
#haikyuu#haikyuu!!#hinata shouyou#kozume kenma#fanart#ik tons of ppl have drawn a similar concept before but ive wanted to do one too for ages AKSJKA#was so overwhelmed by how amazing the nekoma movie was last yr and didnt end up drawing anything bc i wouldnt be able to live up to it kjhf#it looks so much better on my computer screen than my phone tho what da hell.... WHATEVER itll look completely different printed out anyway#ANYWAY !! FIRST PROPER ART OF THE YEAR HELLO#this year i would like to get better AT#COMPOSITION. SHAPE LANGUAGE. 3D FORMS AND SIMPLIFICATION#i like realism and its what im used to but last year i was thinking a lot abt art i admire and its always very Shapes#obv u need to understand realism to be able to do that which is why i go to life drawing#but yea. u have to practise BOTH at the same time theyre 2 diff skill sets which can feed into each other#anyways that was my big realisation last year#the last few pieces have not been turning out Exactly how i want them to but i have to remind myself its what i can achieve#at my current skill level and i have to keep studying and looking and learning if i wanna improve#anyways. ART!!!!#took several pics of myself with a kitchen knife to use as ref for this lmao
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