#bc she’s Eva
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Evanatsu Week Day 1: Closets / Phonecalls
I looked up Evanatsu week today to see if I could participate this year only to find that apparently it started yesterday. (oops)
Anyway, their dynamic fascinates me and I am finding new and exciting ways to articulate the deeply personal ways that these women can ruin each other's lives forever. Anyway, day 1, aka "Natsuhi is Rokkenjima's most pathetic closet case, send tweet"
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The night before her wedding day, Natsuhi locked herself in her closet. It was the ghost of a childhood habit, born from winter days when burrowing herself in the trails of kimono fabric felt like the best way to keep warm. She would be enveloped on every side, insulated from the pervasive chill, and enjoy a special kind of stillness from the blanketing of light and sound. With every movement, the kaleidoscope of patterns from her dresses would sway, bringing a spectral kind of motion to the darkness, and Natsuhi frequently found herself lost in it, watching the shifting constellations in the dark. She could imagine dancers there, the twisting forms of shrine maidens or yokai, women with long hair who tickled her neck as she moved in tandem with them. In the cold, she could imagine their arms around her, bundled in ribbons of their long sleeves and skirts, beholden to nothing but the feather-light warmth and the feeling of their closeness.
It wasn’t winter when she was married– spring had laid her warm hands upon the chill of winter, the world waking up to the rain as though blinking off the last vestiges of sleep. Just as the flowers poked through the dirt, the arrangements had been made, an April wedding to a man she did not know. Though she didn’t have the cold as an excuse, she found herself drawn to the screen doors, parting the fabric and staring blankly at the back of the closet. She didn’t know what she expected to find– a hidden door, maybe? Some way to escape, to run without the burden of shame on her family and disappear wordlessly into the ether? As she climbed in, huddling in the corner and letting the fabric settle around her, she tried to dismiss the thought. It had been a long time. She was 15, set to be married, a bastion of the dignity of the two families whose lines she walked between. She couldn’t afford to indulge in those kinds of thoughts. She was a woman, a soon-to-be wife, and it was for her family’s pride that she had to force down the reflexive wince at the idea.
The once-spacious darkness felt more like a tight hug– Natsuhi had her back pressed against the corner with her legs drawn up to her chest and still barely stopped herself from tumbling out and through the screen door beside her. Stale air seemed to linger in the gaps between some of her older ceremonial outfits, still in here for who knows what reason. The kimonos strung up around her seemed to stifle even her breathing, the rolls of dust unearthed from the corners more visible in the faint light than the patterns of the fabric. The comfort of it bordered on oppressive, things too big and old and incongruent to fit back into the familiar picture. There wasn’t really even a point to this. Natsuhi’s husband was coming in a precious few hours. She should be sleeping, not hiding. There was no space for this kind of solitude in married life, no closets to hide in like a little girl or old fabric to find stories in. There were no princes. Even if tacitly, she became aware of the finality of this moment, what this feeling meant— the real consequence of her sudden, final discomfort in the safest part of her home. It was an irreparable shattering of an old memory, a new kind of self-reflection that swirled in the back of her mind, right with a raw grief for something she didn’t yet know. Something had changed beneath her feet, shifted in directions she couldn’t yet name, changed shape without her. Fit awkwardly into the space, choking on the dust as her face became hot and wet with tears, Natsuhi buried her face into the kimono beside her, rubbing her cheek against the silk and tried to imagine she was anywhere but here.
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Perhaps it was a strange thing to notice, but the mansion on Rokkenjima did not have closets built into the walls. There were smaller, maze-like rooms branching from some of the bedrooms, but the entire design ethos felt downright brutalistic as far as Natsuhi was concerned. Screen doors and crannies within the walls were turned to utilitarian, blank rooms, fitted with large raised beds and armoires with heavy doors and deep, cavernous spaces like hungry mouths. If the doors happened to swing open in the night, Natsuhi found herself captivated by the sheer darkness— the clothes within were indistinguishable, and one could be mistaken for thinking that blackness extended beyond the walls if you only reached into it. Anything could lurk within that space, invisible insofar as it remained behind the boundary of the doors. When Natsuhi was feeling especially perturbed by the mansion, the island, this family and the marks they made on her, she wondered whether it would be preferable to submit herself to whatever it was that lay there. She knew better, though, and so she wrote it down.
Pen to paper, she could tease out the shapes she saw in the dark, the curves and figures come to life in swaying fabric patterns. She could conceptualize the feeling of being enveloped in silk, of soft caresses and bodies under her touch that were familiar enough to be her own. She could put words to the dancers that used to only show themselves in the hidden halls of her old home, find an ease in the shapes of shrine maidens and yokai. When Krauss drew his hands down her back and she imagined someone else, she could give a name to it later, to turn those thoughts to words and banish them to the dark hallways that extended beyond her closet doors when the darkness made such boundaries thin enough as to not matter. If you didn’t open them, who’s to say how far the closet extended into the dark? She banished the fantasies of cold winters to a more childish version of herself within the pages. Natsuhi Ushiromiya was the wife of the soon-to-be head of household, and there was no space in here for anything or anyone else.
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Rokenjima itself was a closet, Natsuhi thought to herself. Dark and suffocating, walls that extended into forever on every side of you. It was a little box, a closed room, draped in fabric and dust that swayed until you could see things in it. Men and women existed as specters of themselves in constant, ethereal motion; a kaleidoscope of desire weaved itself behind the locked doors. The patterns themselves became alive, illusion upon illusion for as long as a person dared to look at them. The hallway extended as far back as you let it.
Natsuhi coughed on the taste of copper in her mouth. A thick pain blossomed in her stomach, a sharp kick just beneath her ribcage choking whatever protest had been on her tongue. Eva was screaming at her, punctuating her vitriol by kicking at anything exposed, a look of utter revulsion on her face. Her hands, clenched at her sides, shook with an intensity that Natsuhi didn’t have the words for, a venom that twisted her face into hideous contours as she spat and howled at the woman at her feet. Her heel had already come down on Natsuhi’s wrist, the pain making her mind buzz and her hearing fade to a consistent, meaningless static in an instant. Swirling patterns of hardwood and the fringes of a thick european rug undulated in her vision, swaying in a rhythmless crowd as the tears blurred it to abstraction. Elsewhere in the mansion, duct tape still hanging from the handle, sat an empty armoire, its door hanging open.
#umineko#natsuhi ushiromiya#eva ushiromiya#evanatsu#mod vex#vex writing#i know this is a little abstract so if ur confused about anything or wanna talk about it feel free to shoot me an ask :)#actually pls do that anyway I love yapping esp abt narrative choices#evanatsu week#just an fyi btw Eva is also sapphic here#she’s just throwing Natsuhi under the bus as a scapegoat to protect herself#bc she’s Eva
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Watched Ultraman Rising today and GOOD LORD HELLO I LOVE THIS FILM SO MUCH
I cried. SO MUCH DURING THESE 2H HOLLY SHIT
I would give my life for lil Emi, she's adorable and deserves all fish in the world
#ultraman#ultraman rising#this scene and the fight with mama at the end were the ones wich choqued me the most. simply bc i was not expecting them to go THAT FAR#i was not seriously thinking they would actualy break the babys arm AND HERE WE ARE#i didn't though mama would be alive AND YET HERE SHE IS AND GOOD LORD THEY PULLED AN EVA-
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Marionette, Kingmaker | A comic about dark powers, promises, and what it means to be a King
#MEDIUM STRAHD SPOILERS!!!#curse of strahd#rudolph van richten#madame eva#talked to two separate dms about the stuff in this comic and both of them said there were mild spoilers about various lore pieces so beware#strahdart#strahdposting#roma#ruxandra#spoilers#mostly made this comic bc ive been thrashing about ruxandra for about a month now and i gotta let other people know who she is#dnd
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Getting Shinji Ikari’s character is such a visceral punch because he’s an abuse victim who jumps hoops to make people happy. The act of practical back breaking is less about martyrdom aka Doing This for the Good of Man and more of not making the other person mad. Walking on eggshells or a game of emotional minesweeper? It comes at the cost of your happiness, but when you’re abused and your suitcase is mostly filled with others’ baggage, it’s hard to tell your happiness from others.
#neon genesis evangelion#shinji#eva#nge#abuse mention#correct me if i'm wrong#shinji is a gut punch bc he's not only an abuse victim but also an example that even abuse victims can have moments of ugliness#without entirely vindicating them as people#same with asuka on that note#she's not a spoiled brat she's a girl with achievements who no one cares enough about#i'd be pissed too!
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save me pink cat girl , pink cat girl save me !
#chara for the ff dnd campaign#i've had her for two minutes and i already love her#always wanted a pink girl#to be tagged.#you might see her around bc she knows eva#they were a thing back in sharlayan
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[ 2ND CHILDREN / 5TH CHILDREN ]
— The truth is, Unit 02 simply isn’t compatible with the other EVAs. (E14)
— I never imagined this boy could synchronize with Unit 02 without replacing its core. Quite astonishing. (E24)
Death & Rebirth Pamphlet / Cruel Angel’s Thesis OP / EVA-02 wiki / DEATH (TRUE ²) / E16 / E24 / DEATH (TRUE ²) / E22 / 3.0: You Can (Not) Redo Cover / E09 / The End of Evangelion / E09 / E24 / NGE Manga / The End of Evangelion
#neon genesis evangelion#nge#asuka langley soryu#kaworu nagisa#shinji ikari#mine#there’s something here that I find really interesting wrt narrative relevance#bc both asuka + kaworu r rly important thematically#point blank the show would be fundamentally different w/o asuka in it#but asuka exists outside of the ikari bloodline#if shinji dies there’s no show. if rei dies she’s replace bc she’s still necessary#asuka was incapacitated and they brought in a new pilot#all asuka wants is to be the most narratively relevant person in the room but she’s the least. she exists outside of the ikari bloodline#and so she ranks below shinji and she ranks below rei#unit 02 isn’t compatible w any of the other evas!#meanwhile kaworu is what kickstarts instrumentality. but if it hadn’t been kaworu it would’ve been smth else#he’s there for five minutes and then he’s gone. he shows up in glimpses#he doesn’t get to actually matter either not beyond a concept#i think there’s smth that ties them together there#which ofc makes their relationship to shinji fascinating#also lol I wasn’t going to include this as actually being anything but I do think it’s funny that 2+3=5 get it#2nd children + 3rd children = 5th children#im very funny#anyway where kaworu idealizes shinji well asuka has to tear him down#and in many ways this is for the same reason#all of the kids are means to an end. but i think asuka and kaworu r this the most#bc they could be anyone. Thats the thing#there’s no reason it has to be them. they could be anyone#the joke addition is ofc: feliz jueves vs quieres ser mi novio shinji?
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townies pt. #334298
#ts4 cas#s4mm#ts4 townie makeover#ts4#the sims 4#simblr#s#miku akiyama what did they do to u girl oml she needed HELP i hate the way sims age up w/ every piece of cc and acc -.-#eva came out so goood omg i wanna go clubbing w/ her i need to start sharing their outfits too bc i love wht you can do w/ just bg + packs#we've come a long way im at the point where im debating getting rid of all my clothes cc tbh i never use it unless im creating orig sims
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i'm so normal about these three (i'm not)
#total drama fanart#dont ask me about how down bad i am for jock. i might answer#eva and jo own a gym together but eva does all the spokewoman and publicity work bc shes inexplicably popular#its a whole thing though#i decided jos full first name is jolene because shes perfect and beautiful and i love her#jolene handles staffing at their main location and scouts for branch locations#their gym is really popular with women and lesbians which is fun because in all my wisdom ive made neither of these women lesbians#brick joined the army to help fund his continued fashion designer career#total drama brick#total drama eva#total drama jo#frenchfries frenchfries
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why is he sopping wet. why is he showing up at stratt's trailer door. what is wrong with him. entirely up to you.
i'd love to hear why yall think he's showing up (wet) to stratt's door like he's about to say🧍♂️mommy i frew up
god he's such a wet cat im going to hit him with a large rock
#to me he saw some kind of Horror on the news and is going to stratt to ask her to use Her Powers to stop it#and shes just looking at him like this man is such a fool and (ofc) a wet cat#project hail mary#project hail mary fanart#eva stratt#ryland grace#aleks doodles#wet cat ryland grace#phm#art#also im trying to practice doing colours bc im shit at it
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i love amen but i hope eva gets the option to beat the shit out of him like amala with amrit
#it makes up for the bossiness and hostility in the beginning#also idk the only way i think will justify her dating the murderer of her bestie that died to protect her is if she’s abusing him SORRY#romance club#song of the crimson nile#rc socn#but remy prolly won’t do that bc ‘eva so weak and smol compared to big tall beefy amen 🥺🥺🥺’#even tho amen would canonically snap evythys’ neck with his bare hands if he wasn’t in love w her#bitch give evthys a baseball bat and let her have at it#just once!#it sounds like i hate the guy#it’s bc i do#but i love him also#enemies and lovers yall
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not to make angst out of a fucking gag but also thinking about the silly au rei in the final episode makes me think about how different rei would be if she didn’t have literally the worst dad ever. like, no, she probably wouldn’t have been the upbeat adhd whirlwind in the high school au lmao. but it does just make me think. because while all the pilots lives are incredibly marked by trauma, rei's the only one to have never had access to any sort of normal life. her entire personality and worldview is shaped from being isolated, groomed, and taught to see herself as a tool and not a person. and then i just get so sad that she never had any chance of a normal life where she could discover herself and what she is. she went from being abused and manipulated by gendō (which is made even worse with the implications certain scenes leave about their relationship) to becoming god. she never had any chance of living a normal life. and just like. fuck.
#like when people talk about gendō being a bad dad it’s normally to do with shinji but like. he was an utterly abysmal dad to rei as well.#outside of the implications of csa even. like even outside of that she was isolated confined and used as a tool her whole life#like. it’s not like she can just leave. I mean none of the Eva pilots can just leave because they’re being groomed it’s horrible and awful#But like Rei specifically physically can’t leave. both bc she needs her medication which. I doubt anywhere else makes stuff to stop your#body from falling apart bc your at field aka like your fucking soul more or less just is failing.#but also bc like. she’s kinda literally vital for gendōs plans. there’s no way nerv would physically allow her to leave#god like. no wonder she was so insistent on her not getting better treatment than the rest despite the obvious favouritism of gendō#like. yeah maybe she gets scraps of affection but she’s also like. trapped. and also being abused.#fucking biting#free my girl she didn't do shit#Neon Genesis Evangelion
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unloading some old annas and angels
#anna angel#clara the changeling#eva yan#peter stamatin#lara ravel#pathologic classic hd#patho fanart#pathologic modern au#анна ангел#клара самозванка#ева ян#петр стаматин#лара равель#мор утопия#digital art#artists on tumblr#art#sketch#doodles#illustration#small artist#looking for art mutuals#classic anna sending a guy to murder a 17 yr old might be the worlds craziest case of an 18 yr old w minors dni in their bio#i put clara there bc i used to hc her as like ~16 and though shes prob meant to be younger that just made the scenario more ridiculous
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wlw jockjockjock looks at u
yeah ill get behind that
also this doesnt have to do with the ask but i drew it a week ago so ill share it anyways
#my art#ask#total drama#jockjockjock#td jo#td brick#td jock#i cant give girl brick a unibrow bc she ends up looking exactly like eva sry idk why i cant just make it work
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Druas and Eva
#my characters#they have an older brother who is v expressive and friendly and then they just do not emote#they are actually part of a different cast/group than oifil but its the exact same location and time and they do have some crossover#so druas has a coworker that is basically chris' adopted son (as karen and right view him at least)#and druas hears about luca being a lot reckless and with no self awareness so he recruits his dear sister eva#to help monitor luca (which luca hates) bc eva has military training and is good at going unnoticed#but when he tells eva to protect luca from anything that might harm him and then she sees them together#she kinda gets in front of luca and is like hey youre causing him distress which is bad for the mental health#and druas is like did you just call me a threat to him ?? and luca thinks THAT is actually hilarious and he likes eva now#but these two dont really interact with the other cast much - its mostly just luca that talks to the oifil peeps#i never designed the older brother or named him but theres just two blondes with no expression + their older brother who has all expression
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the cute thing about team escope is with evas label being the female bully and noah and izzy being like Theeee most bullyable people on the planet its easy to assume eva wouldn't like them but theyre actually bffs and its cute and i like it a lot
#i say izzy and noah are bullyable bc irl i would not be able to stand how loud izzy is and how annoying noahs quips are#and 😓 i still hc eva misophonic bc i will 4ever bc i am and its cute. so its just cute that eva has friends that she likes being around#despite her canonical anger issues and my headcanonical misophonia. lawwllll#anyways#ps talks
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the fall of icarus.
#ffxiv#ffxiv gpose#ffxiv screenshots#ffxiv oc#ffxiv wol#eva. pose#icarus. pose#i know this one is long#but icarus letter has been on my mind for a long time#and endwalker is like the worst expansion for eva#she goes through a lot#so this letter is really important to her#anyway idk if there are any spelling mistakes im tired fbrfrebg#but i cried making this bc it's important to me#the same way the convo with venat is important#this is my happy new year post fjshdns
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