#bc part of me feels like they cant possibly enjoy my work and theyre just doing me a favor
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bardnuts · 20 hours ago
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im sad
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orcelito · 2 years ago
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Revealing myself as a 98 vashmeryl truther by how I write vash and meryl's interactions in itnl
#speculation nation#itnl shit#THEYRE JUST SO FUNNY and i love them 😭😭😭😭#so yes this is a trimax fic but i am just gonna. push my 98 agenda for their relationship hfkdhfj Just a little#idk their dynamic is just more Present in the anime than in the manga. and it works for the setup i have so There.#also yes this is a vashwood fic IM ALLOWED to enjoy other dynamics too#toeing the line a little bit on the slight undertones but nothing will come of it#i. plan to have an acknowledgement in this chapter. chapter 13#vash makes a joke that could be interpreted as flirty and she's basically like 'Dont Deflect. you dont see me like that anyways.'#vash realizing that Yeah there kind of is a dynamic there. but also hes so focused on wolfwood he wouldnt wanna lead her on#it's like. this is just kinda part of being an adult ykno lol like#sometimes you have feelings for your friends and you can acknowledge it even & if youre mature enough about it it's Fine#he'll let her believe he has 0 possible interest in her bc it's easier that way. for both of them.#he doesnt want her to get her hopes up. doesnt wanna lead her on.#and YEAH MAYBE IM A POLYGUN TRUTHER I THINK ALL 4 OF THEM WOULD BE GREAT TOGETHER#for the purposes of this fic im keeping it to just the vashwood#but i cant resist... a lil sprinkle here and there......#like them meeting with a goddamned meet cute & then vash subsequently being an Asshole by getting her hopes up & then dipping#thats like. the vibes. thats the thing. vash realizing he needs to nip this in the bud bc he Cant be what she wants him to be.#im just. man. i have some Thoughts about this all.#if you couldnt guess vash & meryl r having some relationship development this chapter. im excited !!!!#they Will be friends!!!!!!! soon.
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phagodyke · 7 months ago
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woke up feeling ruffff but took my meds and went back to bed for a while n I feel a bit better
#only slept 4 hrs yesterday so was rly hoping to get a solid nights sleep today bc i probably won't tonight....#but i didnt sigh. but my options are either to plough thru w today and make myself do this even tho i dont rly feel like it#or cancel plans and stay in and mope which will inevitably turn into self harm so rly the latter is a non option lmao#its all okay ill get into the swing of things n have a good time once im thereee#and i always knew i was gonna feel a bit like this like its an open wound for me i just need to be careful not to touch it#bc how i feel isnt based in reality its just insecurity n vulnerability n ik it can take months to fully recover from a previous episode#and part of the recovery process needs to involve facing potentially triggering situations instead of avoiding them#bc otherwise ill get increasingly worse bc its not possible to always avoid and ill be defenceless again when it does happen again etc#like its part of rebuilding my sense of self n confidence n hopefully i can eventually start to trust other ppl again n lower my guard#bc it sucks being contorted into this defensive pose all the time and i would like to allow myself to feel genuine connection w others !!#and to stop instinctively flinching and waiting for the hit im tired of my mind telling me ppl r lying + trying to hurt me when theyre not#im being a bit dramatic like i am doing a LOT better than i was a few weeks ago. n i def can handle this one#and the risk of triggering myself is much much lower anyway in this specific situation. so long as theyre not hiding shit from me again#i can think of several ways that risk could skyrocket n unexpectedly spiral out of my control n it makes it hard to breathe just imagining#but i need to believe that it wont. so if-no WHEN it doesnt then next time ill have proof that i can navigate it n i wont feel so anxious#it makes me laugh how stupid this is from an outside perspective. my brain causes me so much weird n 100% unnecessary distress#but its the only brain ive got n will always have so i need to work with it!!#anyway all that aside i genuinely am rly looking forward to this afternoon!! ive rly wanted to start doing more nice things for myself#n the fact it coincides w missing smth that could incite my rsd is kind of for the best even if it is making me anxious#i cant let my life revolve around anticipating how ppl might upset me n basing my decisions off minimising that damage#n while it would be nice to have company.. well ik its just as fun going alone bc ive done it before! n i need a reminder of that#ah im gonna turn myself in circles if i think much more. i dont need to justify anything#i hope they have a nice time and i hope i have a nice time and i hope that eventually someday we can have a nice time together instead#of separately. and i hope that someday ill feel included and wanted by other ppl and wont be posting on tumblr every time this happens LOL#this comes across like im saying i need to learn how to enjoy my own company or whatever but i prommy i already do..#what i actually need to learn is how to trust n enjoy the company of ppl i care abt without constantly being scared theyll hurt me....#but thats not happening today cuz i got other plans woooo OKAYY im gonna stop ruminating and get some chores done sjdkfh#.vent#<- well not rly a vent bc its not like im channelling feelings here im just rambling bc i have a lot on my mind. but still#this is prolly incoherent i keep putting my phone down and doing other things and then adding another thought LOL
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boopshoops · 15 days ago
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What your favorite TWST character says about you :)
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As a note before I begin: I saw one of these that shamed malleus and randomly even chenya enjoyers- (claimed that they were pick mes or something? 😭) so i wanted to make one that was more positive out of spite <3 make it more about the writing and why people appreciate the characters. Take each of these with a grain of salt i spose- also a lot of them share similar themes <3
(Aka fans who have different views or even blatantly incorrect views of characters will always exist everywhere, but insulting the entirety of a group solely for enjoying a character, many for different reasons, is probably not a great idea!
I get that sometimes people suck and thats understandable, but quit generalizing ok? Ok.
From a malleus enjoyer who just thinks hes a silly little guy and im tired of feeling like i have to defend myself bc he's my blorbo 😵‍💫)
Final note: i love unapologetically taking frustration and turning it into something that can make people smile 💕 also i blindly wrote this from 11pm-midnight :))) dividers by @/cafekitsune!
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Heartslabyul:
Riddle: you enjoy and/or relate to the idea of healing from the past. Working hard to improve oneself for the ones around you and yourself: creating a healthier environment where you can be happy
Trey: there is immense complexity in things that are seemingly mundane. Digging deeper and deeper to find something truly sweet and heart warming is your joy.
Cater: maybe you relate, or maybe you used to, or maybe parts of the connections made in the past/presence/future dont feel as deep as you truly want them to be. There is something beautiful about a desire for genuine human connection, but also peace in being alone. There is a safe space for you yet, just be patient. 💕
Deuce: you love drive and determination. An endless stubbornness that keeps one going against all odds. Against every person who tells someone they cant. You watch them get proven wrong, and its pure bliss.
Ace: you find the connection between people beyond words heartwarming: even the seemingly simple ones. The ability to have a connection with someone who can get up to some mischief, tease back and forth, yet be there when you need them to be one of the most valuable things.
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Savanaclaw:
Leona: Adversity over a lack of belief in oneself is a very difficult thing to overcome- yet it is very possible with the right crowd, the right amount of time, healing, and effort. You think someone's worth lies more than just within their title/job/appearance, but within the fact that they are able to stand back up and keep moving onward despite the odds. The hope for that change, and the ability to get out of bed in the morning on its own is strength.
Ruggie: Despite being through so much trauma at such a young age, recovery happens anyway. Its not perfect, at times the lessons learned are even rough. The survival tactics that once helped are now hard to ditch when theyre not needed anymore, but the ability to smile and joke and keep pushing onwards is something you value in life.
Jack: Self discipline can be both extremely useful as well as harmful in different ways. You find the way people can constantly strive to better themselves at what they love and/or morally to be highly admirable.
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Octavinelle:
Azul: People can be cruel. And sometimes that cruelty inspires cruelty. Sometimes its simply used as a way to move on and survive insecurities created from it. Its hard, its a fight, but those insecurities are part of what make people beautiful. They are nothing to be ashamed of, and even the many tactics and smart ways of learning to overcome cruelness can be beautiful too.
Jade: The mind is extremely powerful. Intelligence and knowledge are not the only important things, no. Using that intel to find entertainment in the surrounding world can be exhilarating. Finding and discovering new unknowns: learning their ins and outs until they're a part of you is something you can relate to.
Floyd: speaking of fun- you love what is essentially the written version of a roller coaster. Ups and downs, ins and outs. Every single twist and turn is exhilarating and new. Every different perspective provides new insight into a multitude of different things. You are along for the ride, and you are having a lovely time.
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Scarabia:
Jamil: self discovery can be very difficult after purposefully suppressing parts of one's self for a long time. Yet, the healing happens anyway (once again aha <3). People discover new parts of themselves, slowly becoming more comfortable not only with their environment, but how they react to it. The discovery is freedom, and freedom is bliss to you. New traits about oneself bloom like a flower: if not in the soil, then stubbornly in the cracks of cement. You gently take that bloom from the concrete and pot it, placing it gingerly in a beam of sunlight.
Kalim: Happiness isnt only sunshine to the one smiling, but to everyone else around them. It is delightfully infectious. However, happiness isnt a constant. You think emotions all emotions should be experienced rather than suppressed, because holding back sadness for the sake of others is a disservice to one's self. Discovering your own emotions, any range of them, is what makes people uniquely human. If anyone is holding those emotions back- hell, any part of them back, they need to be let out of the cage.
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Pomefiore:
Vil: "Beauty is on the inside" is a saying thats been around for a long time, but beauty comes in so many forms. It can come from the stubborn desire to improve one's self: to be kinder, to help those around you, to be good. However it is impossible to be perfect. At times, for some, this can be crushing. People are hurt unintentionally, natural frustration can brew, the wrong actions can be taken: and thats okay. You believe whats important is to pick yourself up and keep going. To err is to be human, and that is beautiful too.
Rook: Error is beautiful. Symmetry is beautiful. Asymmetry is beautiful. A crack in the side walk is beautiful. Small things are beautiful, big things are beautiful. The nurturing of something through endless care is beautiful. The undeniable traits and hobbies of every individual that make them unique are beautiful. You find the endless optimism in finding beauty to be, in itself, beautiful.
Epel: Sometimes people will view others in ways that they wish not to be perceived as. This isnt in our control, as much as we sometimes want it to be. All you can do i be unapologetically yourself. To be you to the utmost degree. To prove those who thought otherwise to be foolish. You find this strength to find value in yourself despite others opinions admirable.
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Ignihyde:
Idia: you have depression /j
Ok for real-
Life can be such a cunt. It can beat a person down, down, down and leave them vulnerable enough to fear it. To fear that beating, whenever it may next come. The anxiety of never knowing what or who will come next, or what one could lose. At times it feels more comforting to find a routine in solitude. But you know that the small things that give joy will wiggle their way in with time. The broken will meet people who love and care and find comfort in the companionship of healing, even from the little things: like a new story to read or game to play.
Ortho: You value unconditional support. Support through everything: the good, the bad, the just kind of okay. Knowing that someone can have ones back for every little thing- to be there solely because they care and wish the best for others- is something you look up to and maybe even wish to be for another.
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Diasomnia:
Malleus: god damn people can be so hard to read and understand. They are so complicated: they are books you have to pay attention to from start to finish. But once you reach the end, you have a deep seated appreciation for them, and for the ones who stuck around to read your book too. Even if it was just for a fleeting moment: it is a happy moment. As painful as temporary things can be, it is also what you think can make the relationships we love and have loved so valuable.
Lilia: there can be suffering everywhere. There is war. There is famine. But there are also endless new sights to see. New discoveries to be made to help those still going through famine and war. New ways to love and understand people you never thought you'd understand. The development and positive parts of humanity, even though at times it can look bleak, are ever present to you. You love the discovery: of places and of people.
Silver: you believe that there is solace in being your own individual, regardless of who you are bound by blood to. Being shaped my experiences, friends, hardships, and new places are what make a person who they are. You value finding roots in and making your own home.
Sebek: Dedication can be a hard thing to come by, but when it does it can grab someone by the reigns. Using every waking moment to cherish that thing, learn more about it, become better at something, and strive to better ones self can be very admirable to you. But, on the other hand, it also calls for the occasional rest.
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OTHER (just for ones I know well enough, sorry!)
Neige: You love kindness despite hardship. One can go through horrible things and still choose to be kind. The world could begin to end, and one could still choose to be kind, because it means everything.
Chenya: Curiosity fuels exploration. It fuels art. It fuels everything. It fuels excitement. It fuels friendships. It fuels medicine. It fuels life. Curiosity is endlessly fun, and you think that is very whimsical
Meleanor: Sacrifice for others can be tragic. Knowing what another person has given up for someone else, maybe even everything, is gut wrenching but undeniably a selfless love to you.
Crewel: There can be kindness in strictness. In teachings, there can be a parental guide. There can be someone who cares for you and undeniably wants you to succeed. They know that you can, so they push you towards it. You want this support.
Trein: Love surpasses time. When the ones we love are gone, the memories of them are still held close, with the love once given to them, we can show to others through advice and guidance that comes with time. You find comfort in that.
Crowley: People are flawed. We all know this, yet despite a persons flaws... however many there may be, there is still something hopeful and human about it. About having those flaws and persisting regardless. You may even like those flaws, and the unashamed desire to press on even with them on display.
Fellow/Ernesto: Live for yourself. This is what you desire. People are often caught up in material or monetary things. After all, we live in a world that required it to survive and even be respected. To throw away those views and simply live as you see fit: regardless as to whether you earn those things or not, is something you admire.
Rollo: Sometimes the attachment we have to those we lost can be painful. Regardless, that pain is proof that there was care and love. The things done for others, whether alive or dead, are done selflessly. Grief can fuel hatred, but it can also be caused by love. To unlearn hatred and learn to love again after the fear of loss is a natural human experience. It is a process you understand and admire those who take the time and strength needed to properly love again.
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Thank you for reading <3
Tags <3
@lowcallyfruity @skriblee-ksk @justm3di0cr3 @cecilebutcher @kitwasnothere
@techno-danger @thehollowwriter @distant-velleity @the-trinket-witch @scint1llat3
@beneathsakurashade @qsoap @twsted-canvas @prince-kallisto @kathxrat-01
@sillyslipperybananapeel @jadelover69 @tixdixl @twstinginthewind
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molter-writes · 2 months ago
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- I see Richard II as an opener, and I’m pouring myself a stiff one because we’re starting by setting the thermostat at insane.
- fuck, the timing of the pregnancy just hit with the “we’ll have to relocate to the palace soon.” The fact that they both decided to have a family before they knew Rhaenyra would be saddled with the crown is really devastating.
- of course baby Daeron has baby silver curls like the widdle renaissance angel he is, of course
- (Married woman, taken woman, wanted woman.)
(Loved woman, cherished woman, someone’s woman.)
Safe woman.
Okay but the way you encapsulate canon Alicent’s deep desire to conform to the kind of doe-eyed womanhood her society expects of her, and at the same time somehow make it wholesome? This should be illegal. It’s definitely some sort of dangerous mind-altering witchcraft. Please never work in government. Or, you know, given the givens, do.
-okay so minor detail but I do love the constant of Rhaenyra’s Home Renovation Antics in The Molterverse™️
-“anything not making intuitive sense to me must be ipso-facto preposterous” okay but the way I HOLLERED, because *yes, absolutely Rhaenyra* but also me, because of course I’m soooo smart 😂🙄
-Secretary of State for Defence, the Rt. Hon. Jason Lannister, Earl of Lincoln.—Well, pack your bags everyone, country’s *fucked*
-I think it’s quite inspired to show how Alicent’s satisfaction at being a *good* caretaker (while of course done out of love and duty both canonically and here) is in large part due to the sense of control and power that she derives from the act. She times the medicine, she presides over Rhaenyra’s recovery, she finally has all of Rhaenyra’s time and attention again in some capacity—and fuck the engagements and country and staff. Possibly in that order.
- Can I say, one of the things I’m really enjoying about this story is the…diegetic? Way you’ve incorporated the news as organism and organization giving voice to The People in counterpoint to the Crown, much like Alicent just wants to go back to being a normal person and Rhaenyra is slowly consumed by the shackles of the throne.
- Her fingers making Michelangelo indents on Rhaenyra’s skin—oh we’re pulling out the art history? We’re bringing out the big guns? It’s going to be like that? Alright. Talk dirty to me.
- “a donkey trot to Valhalla” her poor cervix (she’s loving it), I don’t think I’ve laughed this much at a 5 word sentence IN MY LIFE. Valhalla is correct because I AM BATTLING DEMONS HERE AND THEYRE WINNING
- Also it should go without saying, but sometimes it’s nice to hear it, so: HOT
- OH MY FUCKING GOD, is Alicent totally masterminding the absolute fucking tanking of this fucking tour? WE LOVE TO SEE IT.
- Oh god, the way Rhaenyra just needs Alicent to believe she can be a good Prince of Dragonstone, the way Alicent just needs Rhaenyra to leave it all behind and pay attention only to her and their baby, the way THEYRE THE ONES WHO SHOULD BE GOING TO SPEECH THERAPY BECAUSE THEY CANT FUCKING COMMUNICATE. 🥺😫😤😍😍😍
- “I’m sorry that you still live with bread, Rhaenyra.” Her voice wavers. “Feel want. Taste grief. I don’t find it pathetic at all. I love the mortal bones of you, Rhaenyra.” She opens the door, then, to the light. “But I know how badly you’d wish it otherwise.”
Praying and hoping and begging that Ryan Condal and Sarah Hess read this before season 3. Behold, a perfect thesis statement.
-“He’s done the work for us tonight, hasn’t he,” she croons. “Give him his due.”
fuck Rhaenyra is going to *murder her* when she realizes how beautifully she’s been played.
-Rhaenyra stares back at it. Her lips are wet. “Gods,” she murmurs. Turns it in the light. “That really is a beautiful green.”
Yes drink the poison, Rhaenyra, the poison from your wife, your wife’s poison, bc she loves you so.
-oh my god it was ACTUALLY FUCKING POISON? I was JOKING! I am a god of narrative. Actually, I think that’s you. Holy Jesus mother of fuck.
-“she draws her closer, and sees movement, on the horizon—a van—and tugs her closer, closer still.”
Christ I can see the headlines already, Feckless Princess of Dragonstone feigns ilness to abandon tour, captured frolicking with Princess Consort as thousands die abroad.
-re: headline, ah, well your was more concise!
-I need a 10000 word fic where Daemon chokes on his own blood slowly while everyone and everything he loves, which is very little, mocks and ridicules him. It’s the least he deserves.
-Anyway, to recap the most important thing: RIP Alicent’s Cervix, you have been Witnessed™️
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i wish i could mainline these and then post them as the official commentary to the chapter i swear to god it's like you are in my mind
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theastromind · 5 months ago
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ur cool to chat with!
I was thinking its such a recent issue among general internet spaces, I mean on one hand theres people fully deluded thatll maybe overdefend but on another hand theres people waiting for an idols downfall at the same exact time. I do think for instance yoongis dui was obvi a legit crime but ppl now using it to degrade all the things he has done for bts / kpop in general and asking him to leave the group despite being their main producer, then theres ppl that really do seem to only focus on either major flaws of idols like ones who overperform or underperform, what weight an idol is or isnt (changbin lately seems the main culprit as well as jeongyeon of twice) its like they cant win these days. I do blame beauty standards as well cause so much is abt the look of an idol than what they bring and it makes them seem like robots really.
visuals is a useless position for anyone in a kpop group cause it says ehh they aint got a particular talent or part in their group lets just say theyre the face of it then? like its so old fashioned / stuck up. I dont know if its only kpop but in general pop groups are treated like dolls or an object. I do think idols dont mind people doing readings on them cause its like an outlet away from those that are hard core stans but i dont think it has to always be abt whats on the outside of a person or who their fs could be.
I also think an aspect is that either its less about actually enjoying what idols do and release and more about who can be the next target of a witch hunt. its just got so childish over recent years and I try to separate the groups I love from the broken af system theyre in but to no avail its like another week another excessive piece of non issue drama is generated.
I always think balance is the key to a lot of things in life, and that includes being a fan of someone. people need to realise that idols can make mistakes, but thats all it is, a mistake. they don't need to tear his whole career down because he made one mistake. I also kind of hate how the kpop industry puts way too much pressure on visuals, and how it can sometimes seem to be more important than the work that they do. I do think they have a lot to learn from western culture in that regard with the entertainment industry.
I honestly try and distance myself away from as much kpop drama as possible. In 2020 I became a fan of nct as I really liked yuta, and I had a yuta twitter account with about 4k followers. almost every day there was always something new in the way of drama and it would usually be within the nct fandom, which I found was the most weird thing about it. everyone had a solo stan account (before I was a multi carat account, and I still love svt) so it was weird to see people having an account for only one person in the group. some fans of the other members would turn on other members of the group and say '___ doesn't deserve to be in nct' and I was like ???? they're in the same group and you're just hating on that member because they're not your favourite? it was just wild to me. I got so overwhelmed with how much drama there was and got such bad anxiety I had to close my account. I now just have a personal and follow a few kpop accounts that post mainly photos etc. I feel like a lot of people need to maybe do the same, bc my mental health really suffered that year
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shkspr · 3 years ago
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hi. on your post where you may or may not have ended on 'moffat is either your angel or your devil' did you have maybe an elaboration on that somewhere that i could possibly hear about. i'm very much a capaldi era stan and i've never tried to defend the matt smith era even though it had delightful moments sometimes so i wonder where that puts me. i'd love to hear your perspective on moffat as a person with your political perspective. -nicole
hi ok sorry i took so long to respond to this but i dont think you know how LOADED this question is for me but i am so happy to elaborate on that for you. first a few grains of salt to flavor your understanding of the whole situation: a. im unfairly biased against moffat bc im a davies stan and a tennant stan; b. i still very much enjoy and appreciate moffat era who for many reasons; and c. i hate moffat on a personal level far more than i could ever hate his work.
the thing is that its all always gonna be a bit mixed up bc i have to say a bunch of seemingly contradictory things in a row. for instance, a few moffat episodes are some of my absolute favorites of the rtd era, AND the show went way downhill when moffat took over, AND the really good episodes he wrote during the rtd era contained the seeds of his destruction.
like i made that post about the empty child/the doctor dances and it holds true for blink and thats about it bc the girl in the fireplace and silence in the library/forest of the dead are good but not nearly on the same level, and despite the fact that i like them at least nominally, they are also great examples of everything i hate about moffat and how he approached dw as a whole.
basically. doctor who is about people. there are many things about moffats tenure as showrunner that i think are a step up from rtd era who! actual gay people, for one! but i think that can likely be attributed mostly to an evolving Society as opposed to something inherent to him and his work, seeing as rtd is literally gay, and the existence of queer characters in moffats work doesnt mean the existence of good queer characters (ill give him bill but thats it!)
i have a few Primary Grievances with moffat and how he ran dw. all of them are things that got better with capaldi, but didnt go away. they are as follows:
moffat projects his own god complex onto the doctor
rtd era who had a doctor with a god complex. you cant ever be the doctor and not have a god complex. the problem with moffats era specifically is that the god complex was constant and unrepentant and was seen as a fundamental personality trait of the doctor rather than a demon he has to fight. he has the Momence where you feel bad for him, the Momence where he shows his humility or whatever and youre reminded that he doesnt want to be the lonely god, but those are just. moments. in a story where the doctor thinks hes the main character. rtd era doctor was aware that he wasnt the main character. he had to be an authority sometimes and he had to be the loner and he had to be sad about it, but he ultimately understood that he was expendable in a narrative sense.
this is how you get lines like “were the thin fat gay married anglican marines, why would we need names as well?” from the same show that gave you the gut punch moment at the end of midnight when they realize that nobody asked the hostess for her name. and on the one hand, thats a small sticking point, but on the other hand, its just one small example of the simple disregard that moffat has for humanity.
incidentally, this is a huge part of why sherlock sucked so bad: moffats main characters are special bc theyre so much bigger and better than all the normal people, and thats his downfall as a showrunner. he thinks that his audience wants fucking sheldon cooper when what they want is people.
like, ok. think of how many fantastic rtd era eps are based in the scenario “what if the doctor wasnt there? what if he was just out of commission for a bit?” and how those eps are the heart of the show!! bc theyre about people being people!! the thing is that all of the rtd era companions would have died for the doctor but he understood and the story understood that it wasnt about him.
this is like. nine sending rose home to save her life and sacrifice his own vs clara literally metaphysically entwining her existence w the doctor. ten also sending rose with her family to save her life vs river being raised from infancy to be obsessed w the doctor and then falling in love w him. martha leaving bc she values herself enough to make that decision vs amy being treated like a piece of meat.
and this is simultaneously a great callback to when i said that moffats episodes during the rtd era sometimes had the same problems as his show running (bc girl in the fireplace reeks of this), and a great segue into the next grievance.
moffat hates women
he hates women so fucking much. g-d, does steven moffat ever hate women. holy shit, he hates women. especially normal human women who prioritize their normal human lives on an equal or higher level than the doctor. moffat hated rose bc she wasnt special by his standards. the empty child/the doctor dances is the nicest he ever treated her, and she really didnt do much in those eps beyond a fuck ton of flirting.
girl in the fireplace is another shining example of this. youve got rose (who once again has another man to keep her busy, bc moffat doesnt think shes good enough for the doctor) sidelined for no reason only to be saved by the doctor at the last second or whatever. and then youve got reinette, who is pretty and powerful and special!
its just. moffat thinks that the doctor is as shallow and selfish as he is. thats why he thinks the doctor would stay in one place with reinette and not with rose. bc moffat is shallow and sees himself in the doctor and doesnt think he should have to settle for someone boring and normal.
not to mention rose met the doctor as an adult and chose to stay with him whereas reinette is. hm. introduced to the doctor as a child and grows up obsessed with him.
does that sound familiar? it should! bc it is also true of amy and river. and all of them are treated as viable romantic pairings. bc the only women who deserve the doctor are the ones whose entire existence revolves around him. which includes clara as well.
genuinely i think that at least on some level, not even necessarily consciously, that bill was a lesbian in part bc capaldi was too old to appeal to mainstream shippers. like twelve/clara is still a thing but not as universally appealing as eleven/clara but i am just spitballing. but i think they weighed the pros and cons of appealing to the woke crowd over the het shippers and found that gay companion was more profitable. anyway the point is to segue into the next point, which is that moffat hates permanent consequences.
moffat hates permanent consequences
steven moffat does not know how to kill a character. honestly it feels like hes doing it on purpose after a certain point, like he knows he has this habit and hes trying to riff on it to meme his own shit, but it doesnt work. it isnt funny and it isnt harmless, its bad writing.
the end of the doctor dances is so poignant and so meaningful and so fucking good bc its just this once! everybody lives, just this once! and then he does p much the same thing in forest of the dead - this one i could forgive, bc i do think that preserving those peoples consciousnesses did something for the doctor as a character, it wasnt completely meaningless. but everything after that kinda was.
rory died so many times its like. get a hobby lol. amy died at least once iirc but it was all a dream or something. clara died and was erased from the doctors memory. river was in prison and also died. bill? died. all of them sugarcoated or undone or ignored by the narrative to the point of having effectively no impact on the story. the point of a major character death is that its supposed to have a point. and you could argue that a piece of art could be making a point with a pointless death, ie. to put perspective on it and remind you that bad shit just happens, but with moffat the underlying message is always “i can do whatever i want, nothing is permanent or has lasting impact ever.”
basically, with moffat, tragedy exists to be undone. and this was a really brilliant, really wonderful thing in the doctor dances specifically bc it was the doctor clearly having seen his fair share of tragedy that couldnt be helped, now looking on his One Win with pride and delight bc he doesnt get wins like this! and then moffat proceeded to give him the same win over and over and over and over. nobody is ever dead. nobody is ever unable to be saved. and if they are, really truly dead and/or gone, then thats okay bc moffat has decided that [insert mitigating factor here]*
*the mitigating factor is usually some sort of computerized database of souls.
i can hear the moffat stans falling over themselves to remind me that amy and rory definitely died, and they did - after a long and happy life together, they died of old age. i dont consider that a character death any more than any other character choosing to permanently leave the tardis.
and its not just character deaths either, its like, everything. the destruction of gallifrey? never mind lol! character development? scrapped! the same episode four times? lets give it a fifth try and hope nobody notices. bc he doesnt know how to not make the doctor either an omnipotent savior or a self-pitying failure.
it is in nature of doctor who, i believe, for the doctor to win most of the time. like, it wouldnt be a very good show if he didnt win most of the time. but it also wouldnt be a very good show if he won all of the time. my point is that moffats doctor wins too often, and when he doesnt win, it feels empty and hollow rather than genuinely humbling, and you know hes not gonna grow from it pretty much at all.
so like. again, i like all of doctor who i enjoy all of it very much. i just think that steven moffat is a bad show runner and a decent writer at times. and it is frustrating. and im not here to convince or convert anyone im just living my truth. thank you for listening.
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lunatic-fandom-space · 4 years ago
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Im about to finally watch that NC review of The Wall after watching a bunch of videos about it and Im just gonna put my thoughts during it in this post
Okay I just checked this review has 85k dislikes, 22k likes and 1.5 million views Im scared
I also havent watched actually watched The Wall btw, but I did watch Folding Ideas video if that helps
Oh god I really liked NC in like 2019 and even the beginning of 2020 and his greeting is giving me vietnam flashbacks
I hate Dougs voice already
Okay a bunch of shit is happening
Now theyre just showing clips from the original movie but as a horrible montage with fire edited over it
Dougs face makes me uncomcortable and I hate looking at it
Hes singing again goddamnit
Thank god, an ad
He stopped singing again thank god
What the fuck is that
I hate those giggles theyre awful
Why is Doug Walker a vampire
The costuming is straight up awful what is the budget on this
The cg is so bad and outdated why did they even bother
What are these dance moves
Theyre mentioning twitter now???
I just watched that 3 musical minute sequence and I have no idea what Doug is even trying to say
He spat out a bird? Huh??
What
Bro the animation is so bad
This would literally be completely incoherent without the on the nose lyrics
"So long Oscar-bait song/smoke a bong and it'll feel less wrong" bro what
I havent even watched the fucking movie and even I know hes missing the point, how did I ever think his reviews were good
I didnt not need to see Doug Walker wailing about being Jesus while shirtless in front of badly edited stockphoto water
What is that
His acting is so bad and I still hate his face
Im not even halfway through
I just wanna go back to working on my AU while watching actually good longform reviews
I cant even read the comments bc I wanna focus on the review itself I hate it here
This frame is very blue. I love the color, but its kinda out of place and was probably not done on purpose
What now
What
Why
I wanna commit crimes
Have I mentioned that I hate looking at Dougs face
That was, without exageration, the worst sponsor Ive ever seen
ITS NOT OVER???
I too call the people I am writing a love letter to whiny and pretentious
Oh god
What in the world
I didnt think it was possible but Dougs singing voice just got worse
Dude they drew on his head with like, marker or something and I can see it smudge
He got all these people and all these props and had these wholeass songs written but he couldnt even brush his fucking teeth before going on Youtube
Okay theyre doing a full on twitter song
What is this shit
This is the most boomer centrist thing I have ever seen in my life
What the fuck was that
The eye imagery going on is geniuienly very unsettling and kind of disorienting but I cant really appreciate it bc its just so bad
What is that
AND AD THANK GOD
Back to the bullshit
What is that
The greenscreen looks so bad
Only 11 minutes lets fucking gooooooo
Doug Walker standing in that hallway doing a power stance is my new sleep paralasis demon
Dude what are they even doing
What is that squirrel thing on this random guys counter
I dont understand whats going on
What in the world is that furry nightmare squirrel in the studio
Why is the edgy cowboy furry OC lecturing me about The Arts
I legimately cant understand most of the words being said and I have no idea if its because my brain has been fried or because they just went with the first take of every line
This part of the review is usually praised as "the best part" so Im both intrigued and really scared
Oh god its another furry OC
Okay I actually quite like the design of the grey furry with the big hat and six arms I just really hate the way he moves, I think it would look better as a static model or preferably a 2d drawing
Another Ad!
I also like the black one with the white horns and red accents
Okay what the fuck is that
I mean the one with the way too many antlers is a bit better than the one before it but it looks like the designer kinda gave up at this point
This feels like an acid trip but in the worst way
I think this is the first thing Ive seen that had a dragon in it, that didnt make it better at all
I mean. i guess this is very impressive but why
I feel like every single voice actor for these creatures recorded the lyrics with a completely different mic
Hey, what the fuck
Well this sure is all happening
What
"Well, the movie ended on such an open vagueness that it only makes sense the the review end on such an open vagueness" hey fuckface, thats not how reviews work
Thank you musician guy who had no lines up until now (I think his name was Corey??)
All of this bullshit and for WHAT
Theyre singing the spongebob squarepants theme song
These 30 seconds where the most I enjoyed myself consecutively during this entire 40 minute video
I dont know how, but Doug Walker somehow manages to stay unlikeable even while hes shouting out a charity that probably does wonderful work
In conclusion, there is a total of 5 Things I Enjoyed in this 40 minute review:
That gray furry with the hat and six arms
That black furry with the horns and red accents and eyes
The shade of blue during that one very blue shot
The spongebob squarepants theme
Apparently Griff Taylor (the son of the musician guy, Corey Taylor) is a fan of NC for some reason and his dad pretty much did this for him, and I can appreciate that on some level
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holycalf · 4 years ago
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i started watching sku bc of your blog (and i really enjoy it!) but i dont get why you seem to like shiori but not ruka....i mean it seems like his intentions were a lot better than hers ever were tbfh am i missing something? not saying he went about things GREAT but....at least he actually seemed to care. shiori was just a bitch for the sake of being a bitch it seemed like...
hi! im glad ure enjoying it! it can definitely be a lot at times, and i think the first 12 eps can rub ppl the wrong way so props to u for getting thru those (even tho i liked em :) ) this is gonna be long so if u feel like reading an essay feel free to read under the cut
um.. i dont really know where to begin tbh? i mean you cant really talk about any of these characters without talking abt the other two so.... this is gonna be long.
so lets take shiori, who has a very classic case of internalized homophobia. which is confirmed by ikuhahras outtake on ep. 17 which states the following
 “I finally realized the truth. To think that she loved me back! What a miracle! But...‘The loser in love is the one who lets their heart be ruled by it.’Everyone's adopted a provocative attitude toward someone of the opposite sex that they like at least once or twice, to get that person to notice them. So it's okay if I do that.This love will crumble if we touch. But when people don't touch, the love eventually dies away .That's why I decided to keep your love prisoner. To make sure that you love me forever. That game will make our love ‘eternal.’ I'm sure of it.We were ‘lovers lost from the beginning.”
so shioris in love with juri. im not sure if thats something u caught onto or not but its definitely the quintessence of her character, and needs to be considered when we consider her against ruka- since its a shared affection. also, i just like shiori, i dont necessarily think shes GOOD i just enjoy watching her and she feels very raw. shiori has a crippling inferiority complex, you can even tell through off handed conversations with her friends in hallways she exaggerates her stories to be more liked. juri is someone who has things come easy to her, and doesnt even really seem to care or notice. in the shows canon shes: liked by the student body, liked by teachers, admired by men (and girls too), academically inclined, good at bowling, captain of fencing club (and likely the most talented duelist- since shes the only one utena never properly beats) and a MODEL?????????? and shiori, at least in her own eyes, is painfully mundane. growing up next to someone who seems to have everything go in their favor, all of the while youre harboring having feelings for them (and jealous that youre among SO many suitors) is so frustrating! especially when you dont believe to have any at all. the elevator sequence when she discovers juris locket is a bit of a power trip for shiori, and also just a sort of confusion. shioris “why do you look at me like that?!” when she considers juri mid breakdown is a clear reflection of her own confusion, she may as well be saying “how could you possibly love me?”...but that was the black rose arc which all got undone anyways- so by the time we see shiori ruka arc she doesnt even know juris got the hots for her. when she first sees ruka, shes staring at juri first and only zeroes in on ruka once she hears people talking abt him. she takes ruka the same way she did that boy in middle school because he seems to be something coveted by the girls around her, its a very closeted gay girl move to decide to go for a boy just because other girls are into him... and it definitely helps that hes in such close contact w juri...he could easily be the one stored in that locket of hers, so why not take him? 
so then we have ruka, who the entire time we watch him is smug, condescending, and genuinely one of the most unpleasant characters on the show. by the end we learn hes in love with juri, so maybe this persona was embellished to push her towards revolution to “free her from shiori” or whatever but.... sorry i dont care LOL! the way he treated shiori ALONE was enough for me to dislike him, there was NO need to tear apart and embarrass the girl like that. he took clear advantage of her crush on juri. his locker is seen right next to juris, and shiori is pressed up against one of the two lockers, but we arent shown which,  “after all, that wasnt my sword,”....he knows shiori has been going to juris locker (and potentially polishing her sword but who knows. all we know is that she goes to juris locker.) and it is later revealed hes extra certain of her feelings because upon publically dumping her (another dick move) we hear her kinda stutter “I love you more than.... I love you more than anyone else” shes clearly beating around a bush because theyre in public, hes pinpointed she and juri are both into eachother, and instead of being a normal ass guy about it and just SETTING THEM UP and telling them to work their stuff out he chooses to, “out of love”  assault juri, emotionally manipulates the girl juri is in love with,  then inadvertantly cause juris locket to break which upsets her so deeply she forfeits her duel with utena. and upon that locket breaking he has the AUDACITY to think hes somehow freed her from something... when the girl is breaking down crying in the rain (the first and only time we ever see juri cry...even if its implied she does it in the shower that one time lol).......then just???dies??? like all he does in his time on the show is cause problems and die, all because he couldnt get over his feelings for a lesbian.... it just feels SO gross to me that he hides his assault and general abuse (can we talk abt how he likely took shioris virginity, JUST to break her down???) behind some icky hero complex
PLUS we see shiori at the end of that episode realize shes in that locket while juri is dueling, and we see her run up to juri at the end of the ep and it doesnt look malicious, it feels very...resolutiony? esp when you put it next to the miki/kozue closing scene of their car arc duel, which is explicitly bad terms, this feels more hopefully....suggesting some part of shiori has at least changed. ruka never got that luxury, he completely exploited two girls in order to add dramatic flare to his last few days and felt valid in doing so..... shiori never seemed to think her actions were JUSTIFIED.....which is sort of the point of the black rose arc where shiori is arguably at her worst........... the very ugliest part of ppl are brought out in those elevator sessions so thats what we see of shiori? 
sorry for the essay!! but i hope this helps and make sense :-) feel free to ask any more questions u have abt the show, and i hope u continue enjoying it! im assuming ure still watching it, i dont know how far u are but if u JUST finished 29 then that means ure getting to some of my fave episodes! (33,37,39 :) ) 
tl,dr: shiori never assaulted anyone
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ghostlypawn · 5 years ago
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okay im gonna type up my hadestown costume ideas bc why the heck not hope u enjoy x feel free to share yours/add on if you want.
note: in my production orpheus is female for Reasons (also hades could also be a girl i dont think it rly matter for what i suggest)
overall my vibes are more ~fantasy~ but still grounded in reality ??
Hades: honestly the vibes from the bway costume are great love it and the suit. especially the wall tattoo im stealing that. i do however want more red incorporated for like,, colour analysis reasons bc im a whore for colours that have meaning. have some photos for an idea (the last is my fave i think):
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also with that i found this walking stick thing that feels quintessential hades so here that too (along with a cape that i think he should wear during his entrance bc parallels later ig?
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overall: similar to the bway costume but more fantastical in a vampirey way?
Persephone: okay for the most part i was just seeing pretty dresses with florals and sticking them in her board. but they all have the same vibe which i still think i would like. also her colour is still green (complimentary colour to red). have some pictures:
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and then at some point i got a GREAT idea. but i dont know how to implement it exactly yet. okay so similar to how broadway has a green and then black costume for the different acts; in the first act her skirt is more ballgown-y and poofy which should resemble flower petals in bloom (possibly more structured so its obvious unlike the more flowy dresses i showed although i think the ideas would still be seen with the skirts above) and then in act 2 the dress is much more slim-fitting against her body so it looks like the flower petals have wilted and are clinging to her body?? does that make sense?? i love it anyway.
overall: more fairy-queen whimsical vibes than broadway and a lot more emphasis on floral details.
Orpheus: okay i dont know why but i get major farmery/cottagecore vibes from orpheus like they just wanna vibe to music and forget about the real world?? so naturally i wanted to get those vibes. i wanted it to have similar vibes to bway with the white shirt and suspender type look so heres some pictures i found:
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orpheus’ colour is that ochre yellow (similar colour family to persephone -> shared values). i liked the idea of the apron too (same as bway) but yknow,, cuter. i also wanted more details on the shirt so i liked the flowery embroidery details (on both the shirt and shoes) to really tie orpheus to the overworld. i did however want orpheus to have a cape when they go into the underworld bc i feel like thats what all fantasy adventurers do when they ~adventure~. so i was looking at capes until i found one that i think went with what i imagined for the dress.
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the first cape is what i originally imagined but thought that it was almost too big and thick for orpheus so then i found the one on the right which i LOVE as its shorter and lighter and goes better with the dress underneath which is similar to the ones i showed at the beginning. (also there could be some analysis between hades and orpheus about how hades’ cloak covers his whole body as if hes hiding himself whilst orpheus’ still makes them look vulnerable especially as they both wear the cloak in the world theyre not familiar with.)
bonus costumes: the guitar!! i found some rly cute guitars which i love the idea of orpheus having a doodled guitar especially with motifs found within the show: 
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pretty tree/floral/naturey designs !! you get what im putting down.
overall: cottagecore orpheus is what we deserve
Eurydice: okay eurydice was hardest all i knew is that her colour would be a dark purple (complimentary to yellow and similar to red). at first i was think more london eurydice with jeans or overalls because i knew i wanted her in trousers. but i thought this made her look too pedestrian in compared to the others (idk mayb that would work considering theyre gods and shes,, not?) i didnt entirely like it so went to the fantasy drawing board and found these (but pretend theyre shades of purple): 
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i like that they like theyre made out of materials found on hand and just thrown together for warmth but they also look agile as hell which is good for eurydice imo as i see her as a lil pickpocket just tryna get by. so something similar to this. i think i would keep the act 2 worker outfit pretty much the same, especially if we remove any hints of colours (espc purple) to remove any identity similar to what bway does already.
also bonus accessories:
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still boot wearing but more steampunky? possibly still with some natural elements but more about the moon/sun rather than flowers, i cant quite explain but to me they give of different meanings?? idk. also the CUTEST pouch that resembles a flower which would be the only thing resembling a flower. like she would associated orpheus with the flower but she also has this other association between money and a flower so its like theyre her two major conflicts and theyre assoicated with the flower idk man i think u understand what im getting at.
overall: steampunk/fantasy thief vibes
bonus prop for hermes simply because i love it and want you to see it:
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flower/leaf umbrellas !! yknow like in way down?? its cute thats all (dont think they close tho but we can work it out its not as if im actually making them.
thank you for reading my accumulated thoughts and feelings if u got to the end i hope you enjoyed/liked my ideas n opened ur brain to endless potentials with this show. once again feel free to tell me anything u liked/would change/a whole new outlook wherever !! its interesting to see people think creatively !! i love it !!
(also as for set i feel like everyone now on my blog knows im an advocate of a great comet-esque interactive set where the set IS hermes bar/speakeasy thing)
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mousehole5000 · 4 years ago
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tgcf again chapters 174-191. im now midway through book 4. pain and suffering. and yet also.... this is really good.... but also.... pain...
okay cave of ten thousand gods everythings coming out into the light.... xie lian pretending not to hear fengqing drop their act im emotional..... fengqing silently working together to separate xie lian and hua cheng im emotional..... every word that comes out of mu qing’s mouth im emotional....
honestly reading the xianle trio discussing hua cheng.. its very hard for me NOT to project all the times ive been in a friendship trio and someone got a boyfriend the other two didnt like (which was every time. theres never been a bf everyone liked. sometimes i was the one who had the bf. there were no winners then and tbh i predict there will be no real winners here as far as this friendship goes but such is life)
mu qing is so smart he’s clever he’s tricksy i love it i love him ugh
“A pair of arms had circled around him from behind, and hugged him with force all of a sudden. Xie Lian had buried his face in his back, and also didn’t speak. Though nothing was said, it was enough.” okay i cant get into every different way im feeling about whats going down bc it would get Too Personal but this..... im emo. also xie lian saying “something like this has to be said clearly“ and then proceeding to not say a word just going in for a hug is a mood
“He heard Hua Cheng’s staggering voice coming from above. “...Your Highness. You really…will be the death of me.” - ok well DONT SAY THAT!! now im worried!!!
“Hua Cheng, however, only snorted, appearing as if his eyes could see through the thick rocky walls. He said darkly, “Don’t worry. If he kills one, I’ll make ten more. Fast and furious like the storms, I will never back down. Let’s see who’s the one left standing in the end.” Xie Lian’s heart skipped a beat for some reason, and he mumbled inwardly, “... Oh no, this is bad.” Even though Hua Cheng’s expression was subconsciously displayed, Xie Lian really was quite weak to this aggressive and rebellious confidence of his.” - fjadskfajsl its okay xie lian honey you never know whats going to do it for you
okay so are the murals and statues are only from the xianle era? im hoping hua cheng didnt secretly follow xie lian during his time as a mortal during the entire 800 years and then pretend to a total stranger that would be too much imo lets see. i still really do get why feng xin and mu qing are like “...dude wtf lets get out of here stay away from that guy” (also tbh probably if theyd all managed to stay close... this probably wouldnt be happening which isnt a judgement im just saying bc thats definitely how ive felt about friendships) although this whole thing IS indeed tinged with homophobia which i still dont think makes sense in this setting but whatever i guess.
BOOK 4!!!! im scared
“A few days ago he nearly fainted, and it was only after that did he realize it was because he hadn’t had anything to eat for several days.” - unfortunately relatable but :(
“Ever since Xie Lian was young, he had never had to consider these kinds of affairs, and this was truly the first time in decades that this problem gripped him. However, if gods didn’t even know what starvation felt like, how could they possibly understand the feelings of a starving worshipper? How could they possibly empathize? At this point, he could only take this experience as a form of training.” - TRUE THO!!!!!!!! i like seeing this even tho the circumstances are sad
wait does xie lian get his bad cooking skills from him mom? im gonna cry...
“After returning to the city, Mu Qing’s stomach was still turning. He said as he stumbled, “I thought…that porridge, it smelled like bran water, but I hadn’t thought it’d taste like it too!” Feng Xin gritted his teeth. “Shut up! Don’t force people to remember that pot of stuff! The queen is…body of ten thousand gold after all…never cooked…this is already…UGH!…” Mu Qing humphed. “Did I say something wrong? If you didn’t think it was like bran water, why don’t you…go ask the queen to grant you another bowl! UGH!…” The two were heaving back and forth, and Xie Lian grabbed hold of the both of them, patting their backs.” - xianle trio.... including simply because it made me do the pleading emoji in real life..... also the way the queen wanted to feed all of them... weeping
i didnt realize that mu qing would still be around during this time.... god the fact that i know theyre all going to split......
“It’s precisely because it’s a time like this that money has to be brought up!” Mu Qing countered. “A time like this? What time is it? Time when we’re starving! It doesn’t matter if you don’t want to admit it, but nothing can be done without money! Can you both not just suck it up a little bit?” - mu qing i love you. god.... for real the fact that he comes from a completely different background than the other two is so important to his character and i think it shows so much in the way he continues to be in the present. he gives me the vibe of someone who is smart and hardworking but is bitter about it and tbh!!!! i get why he is!!! he’s very aware of these kinds of concerns bc he’s had to be, while the other two kind of think theyre above it and its a big difference between them. he’s still separated by the circumstances of his birth despite how much harder he’s worked to get to where he is.... ugh painful and delicious
i really am enjoying the xianle story tbh. xie lian going from his highness, favored by heaven, well-intentioned but lacking in experience and understanding to living in poverty and fighting with mortals who disrespect him. fucking delicious i mean this sincerely and respectfully im sad but i really like his character arc. and then to how he is in the present....
“Mu Qing looked at him, speaking not a word. Then he bowed deeply and really turned around to walk away.” - OH NO ITS HAPPENING AHHHHH ;_; honestly all of this hurts but it feels real like i think mu qing has every right to want to leave honestly and he DOES have other family and other ambitions outside of the trio... and i get why feng xin is mad about him wanting to leave when theyre suffering!! and i get why xie lian lets him go.... friendships are hard man and the pain of them splitting is rough!!!!
“Mu Qing’s departure had really shocked him to the core. First, he had never thought that someone so close would just up and leave. Second, Xie Lian had always believed in “forever”. For example, friends would always be friends forever; no betrayal, no deception, no breaking up. Perhaps there’d be times when they’d part, but it for sure wouldn’t be over reasons like “life is too horrible” - pain. just pain. same as above i get it but it hurts
“Xie Lian didn’t know too well just how much money would be considered normal when buying over ten lanterns, and he never looked at the price tag when he purchased things in the past.” - i feel bad kicking him while he’s down and he’s still trying to be kind even when it costs him but this is the first thing that came into my mind
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but also oh?? spirits of soldiers from the battlefield you say?? hmmm i wonder... who.... could possibly be among them....
“If you remain forcibly, you won’t be able to rest in peace,” Xie Lian said. The nameless ghost didn’t seem to care. “I pray to never rest in peace.” -  i cant lie this legit gave me goosebumps lol
“Xie Lian himself was alright in suffering through it, since there were far too many other things to worry about. But his mother, who had lived a comfortable, luxurious life, when had she ever done such crude labour? But if the queen didn’t do this work herself, who else could take over?” - hmmmm!!! housekeeping!!!! it matters!!!! rich people dont appreciate how much until they have to do it themselves!!! but this still makes me sad
oh god THATS when they pawned hongjing?? with the king sick and mu qing leaving?? :(((( even more emotional about its appearances in the present day
“That passerby chuckled. “You don’t know? This is too exciting! The servant is beating the master!” - oh god the dramatic and ironic timing of it all
god..... this is just... a sad time....
“MU QING ISN’T LIKE YOU ALL. HE’S MY FRIEND, HE WOULD NEVER HELP YOU!!!” [cut to] “Those were the only words echoing in Xie Lian’s mind, but he couldn’t utter a single sound, and could only crazily grab at anything at his disposal to throw. He didn’t care who he was hurling at, either. Finally, Mu Qing couldn’t take this anymore, and he steeled his face as he swept his sleeves and left. Xie Lian panted harshly for a bit and fell back down, spacing out again.”- IM SAD!!!!!! tbh i wonder if on some level xie lian kind of felt like mu qing owed him? i know he said to forget about that stuff to both of them but its one thinig to say it and think you mean it and another to have to deal with it
white no-face what is your DEAL!! also all the little fire ghost bits im...
“After having exchanged so many words, Feng Xin finally got the gist of what had transpired. He widened his eyes and pointed at Mu Qing, unable to speak. A moment later, he bent down and grabbed a sack and flung it over, roaring. “SCRAM! SCRAM SCRAM SCRAM!” Mu Qing was hit in the face by the sacks of rice he brought and backed two steps away. All three of them in the house were panting harshly.” - this is it this is the part where i closed my laptop and said “noOOooOOOoooo” out loud to my room im so upset... and mu qing still tried to leave the rice even after the broom thing im ;_;
“Feng Xin was completely convinced that he would never do such a thing, but that was precisely why this had become the worst-case scenario!” - pain, suffering, dismay, etc
“Feng Xin continued, “If Your Highness thinks your life might be in danger, I can finish this for you, I won’t tell Her Majesty, haha.” - bless your heart for trying feng xin
“But it shouldn’t be like this. The Feng Xin of the past would have absolute faith in him no matter what! Even if there was only twenty percent doubt, it was still unbearable!” - AHHHHHHH okay idk if i really have much to say about their relationship other than im sad but IM SAD!!!!
the differences between feng xin and mu qing’s relationship with xie lian are so interesting. feng xin has clearly always idolized xie lian a lot while mu qing hasnt at least not in the same way and he seems like he has some resentment towards xie lian (thats how i read it anyway thats what i said about it at the beginning of book 2 and i think its understandable and can be a very real part of friendships) that feng xin doesnt and i just think thats neat!!
“He was firmly tied down upon the altar, that broken base of the statue under his body. There were many people squeezed below the altar, and pair after pair of round, unblinking eyes were watching him.” - hmmm dont think i like where this is going
“Yet, before he could finish, he realized that the white silk that he used to cover his face had been undone. In this moment, the thing that had him completely tied down was that exact white silk.” oh my god wait is this ruoye?? is ruoye that same ribbon???? ill cry
“The hand stained with blood, the one that ended a life, was immune to the Face Disease.” - ohhh shit okay. okay okay. okay. shit okay. i See now.... so if youre an innocent civilian the only way to escape this fate (and the faces are actually the souls of other innocent civilians) is to get rid of your innocence... and doesnt this disease not actually hurt its just horrific? god.............
“White No-Face pitied, “You think they don’t want to do it? Wrong, it’s not that they don’t want to, it’s solely because no one wants to be the first, that’s all.” - shut up!!! youre the one who created this situation dont fucking preach about the way you think the world is
“He forced down the mouthful of blood and hissed, “What are you laughing at? You think that you got what you wanted? This was all forced by you!” The ghost fire within the ghost’s hand flickered even more fiercely.” - yes exactly!!! you put people in extreme circumstances sometimes they do extreme things!! youve proved nothing!! god i do love when characters say exactly what im thinking. plus the first ones who caved were trying to save their child
“He felt that, if he was to let them do what they wanted, there was something in his heart that would never return to its original state.” - :( also i kind of feel that in my life sometimes and i just hope xie lian’s heart ends up in a state he’s happy with
“He didn’t dare to look at what had become of the person lying on the altar, because what laid there didn’t look human anymore.” AHHHHHH!!! :(((( i mean i get why this event is what made hc... level up??? thats not a good way to describe it fjasldkfjaslk but you know what i mean... that line about being powerless to help your beloved OOOOOOF
okay well finished that chapter im. pain. hmmm. pain. i dont know if i actually have any words rn lol but im gonna stop here for now
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autisticstarseed · 5 years ago
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👐 Hand washing guide when you have sensory issues 👐
tbh. we shouldve been talking abt this a long time ago for many disabled ppls sake but ive put this post off for like a million years out of pure solidified fear of ableist harassment/kneejerk ignorance and also generalized cringe idiots but now that we got so much covid-19 fear and autistic ppl actually tend to have weaker immune systems than most people lets jump the shark;;;
i have autism and i physically struggle with washing my hands as often as i want to, having wet hands, drying them, the temperature difference, bad soap smells/textures, etc. are all genuinely painful. the good news is that ive dealt with water aversion shit since birth (its a common sensory issue), so ive had time to figure out alternatives and coping skills that still help reduce risk of disease and spreading it in ways that i can personally manage. (ie. not lazy or selfish or gross. genuinely putting more effort into this every day task than most other people would even think about. just disability lads) so heres the guide i have to offer if you’re in a similar boat, with some keypoints about hand hygiene and tips addressing the most common sensory struggles ive noticed with it;;;
1. hand sanitizer
i love hand sanitizer, i can get it in almost any scent i want and it dries down very very fast. the problem is; hand washing and hand sanitizer do different things. it only kills certain types of germs. which is all fine and dandy, but because of this, using only hand sanitizer wont actually keep you from catching or spreading many illnesses. so what its good for is times you cant wash your hands (out in public, sensory overload, no spoons, etc), thats fine, but it should not replace all hand washing if at all possible. it is supposedly effective to covid-19, but so little is currently known that it should not be considered your go to for this, and the only unanimous statement straight from the CDC is that hand washing works best at preventing its spread.
temperature - if you have trouble with it being too cold, conveniently keeping it in your pocket or closely against your body in some way warms it up and makes it much more comfortable. 
scent - they come in almost any scent you can imagine, but if you have trouble with strong scents, there are ‘scentless hand sanitizers’. they usually have a faint chemical smell, so if there are any testers available, you should check to make sure it can work for you before you buy it.
texture - if gel doesnt cut it, they also make foamy hand sanitizers and liquid sprays, but theyre harder to find and might be a little more pricey.
and remember; always buy hand sanitizer that says it contains AT LEAST 60% alcohol, the higher alcohol content the better, but try to keep track of how high it is and how much you apply it so you dont dry your skin out. and right now price gouging is pretty bad, so dont be surprised if you cant find any for a while, and dont buy any small bottle that costs over a couple dollars, its a rip off.
2. hand washing 
so what does hand washing do thats better than sanitizer??? soap and water lift up the dirt and oils that are carrying the germs and actually wash them off, and not only that, it also gets rid of all the things sanitizer cant, such as dust/dirt, spores, chemicals, and the previously mentioned viruses that are harder to kill. ik to an outside perspective it might not seem that hard, but obviously when you have autism and these tasks are split down into bigger ordeals and sensory nightmares, it can feel impossible. 
soap - there are so many different kinds of soap! scentless soaps exist, and they very rarely have any lingering chemical smell! theres also soap for sensitive skin, and baby soap also works well for that issue. bar soaps can come in all different shapes and sizes, with many different ingredients and additives to choose from (independent soap makers are an amazing source for customized soap btw), and liquid soaps can be pure gel, frothy, mousse-y or even have tiny exfoliating or moisturizing beads in them if thats a sensory experience you enjoy. this is my number one rec for people struggling with hand washing bc of sensory issues;;; mix up the soap. finding one that gives you an okay or even a GOOD sensory experience can completely turn around an otherwise meltdown inducing task
temperature - this is the one thats always been hardest for me. cold water straight up hurts me, and our plumbing is Terrible, so the trick i have for slow pipes is to run the hot water on high as Soon as i get into the bathroom. leave it going and by the time you’re done there should be at least lukewarm water. if this still takes too long for you, try out the various sinks in your house, usually one is able to get hot water faster than the rest (for me its the kitchen sink) and that can become a designated station for you if need be.
texture - some ppl just hate water. if thats the case, it rly doesnt change much abt the process if you use less water, ie work the soap into a lather, and then only use as much as you need to rinse it off. you dont have to keep your hands under the whole time, the soap clings to the dirt, the water takes it off all together, as long as you scrub well and rinse till you see no suds, you’re good 
If it really comes down to it, a washcloth with water+soap, a disinfecting wipe, or even literally just a rinse with plain ol water is better than nothing, but the stream of water and act of rubbing the soap in is the most effective combo against disease. soap/disinfectant wipes and hand sanitizers are your second best option. if theres a time in your life where an issue is so disabling for you that you truly cant keep any of this up, rly the most important thing is to limit your direct physical contact with your face and commonly used objects as MUCH as possible until you can figure smth out. (you kno those old ladies that grab a wipe and open the doorknob with it between their hand and the knob? become that old lady) and if push comes to shove, if a safe and accepting therapy setting is something accessible to you, hygiene struggles are actually something many mental health professionals understand Very well and can help you cope with personally and directly, without shame.
3. hand drying
this is also. my personal hell. and what most people say is the hardest part of the sensory experience. but ya cant just walk around with wet hands right
towels - the obvious choice for most, but to me they actually dont dry enough. i always end up damp and with lint stuck to me. this kills the man. but hand towels do have some variety to them, you can find em with really long fibers or really short/flat, really fuzzy or really stiff, etc. sounds silly but its smth a lot of ppl dont think about that can change a lot. you can also try super absorbent towels (yes like a shamwow), and again baby bath towels are also an option if you want something gentle.
paper towels - yeah a little more wasteful and expensive, but imo much more absorbent. theyre also pretty thin so you can get between your fingers (MY BANE), and under your nails if you use a corner. 10/10
blow drying - ik this is the kind of shit you only see in like movie theaters and malls and they are definitely LOUD AS SHIT, but if you happen to have the money, and struggle more with Textures than Noise, ie a stream of warm air seems worth the sound, you Can actually find a small basic one of these items for your own home. 
4. public restrooms
everybody hates em!!! but you can make em more tolerable;;;
soap - bring your own! little travel soaps you can keep in your bag are a godsend for ppl with sensory issues, sensitive skin/allergies, and if you just prefer not sharing soap.
temperature - most public places i notice actually do get hot water pretty fast (like,,, too fast,,, like,,, it bur ns me) so if there are no faucets and its too hot or too cold, once again you can try different sinks and one might be more comfortable. if there are faucets i recommend grabbing a paper towel to turn it off, so you dont have to touch it again with your clean hands.
sound - WHY R AUTOMTIC FLUSH TOILETS SO FUCKEN LOUDD..... honestly if you have noise cancelling earmuffs or earplugs or w/e pop em in. if you dont have any of that i just literally plug my ears with my fingers when i stand up. if you struggle with the sound of the blow dryers, they almost always have paper towels as well, but its a great idea to carry something like that around in your bag with you just in case. if its really packed and people chattering is getting to you, sometimes the ‘family’ bathrooms are actually smaller and less full. if its bad enough and you feel comfortable asking, an employee might be able to direct you to a single stall bathroom or at least a different one than that.
and though its convenient, try not to use your sleeve to touch things like doorknobs, toilet handles, etc. instead use something disposable like a paper towel or wipe, bc the germs will simply transfer to your sleeve and still risk infecting you. 
5. schedule
the number one suggestion is to wash your hands literally as often as possible during a time like this but like. even for allistic/nt/abled/ ppl thats just not always an attainable schedule so the Best times to wash your hands are;;;
after using the bathroom - the most important time and generally the easiest to get used to. its smth you have to do multiple times a day that already has a schedule, and if you were to forget or go into sensory overload its usually immediately accessible as soon as you can. as i mentioned earlier, if you need help remembering, you can turn the water on when you first get in and leave it going.
the doctors - ANY KIND of health facility should be avoided right now unless really necessary, places where sick people would frequent is the quickest way to get sick but like. ya rly cant help it sometimes right. you cant stop dealing with your own illnesses just bc theres another one floating around. so, this is time to go apeshit on the handwashing. if your health issue involves coughing and sneezing, ask for a face mask. bring a scarf in case they dont have any, its not as great but better than nothing. otherwise, you honestly dont need it, face masks are more for these people bc they keep germs in better than out. whether you’re worried abt getting sick or infecting others, this is a time to use hand sanitizer, avoid physical contact like shaking hands [autistic cheering], and when you first arrive and right before you go to leave are the most important times to remember to wash your hands. 
preparing food - not as commonly spoken about, but also easy to work into a schedule. i personally dont care unless its food for somebody else or if im going to be putting my hands on it a lot, but if thats the case, a lot of the time thats produce you already want to wash in the sink, so you can kill two birds with one stone there. dont just get the germs off your own hands, get em off the fruits and veggies before you eat em. carpool
after grocery shopping - not very common. most ppl just slap some sanitizer/a wipe on there or dont think abt it at all, but if you just got home from walmart thats a great time to wash. you just touched a bunch of items other people touched, including the cart, money/credit cards, and all the products people will pick up and put back, so its prime germ time babey. But again, sanitizer or a wipe will help if its all you can manage after a trip out like that.
before self care - also uncommon. ppl always say ‘dont touch your face’ and ‘apply this product with clean hands’, and what they mean is that one of the fastest ways germs get into your system is through your mouth, nose, eyes and ears. if you’re simply washing your face theres not as much concern, but applying a mask, moisturizer, makeup, etc. should all be done after a gentle rinse of your hands (and face). very hard to get into the schedule of, but if you consider it a Part of your ‘self care’ or use a special fun cleanser, it can stick a little easier.
6. stim items
STIM ITEMS!! if you have stim items, its a good idea to clean them regularly, but even moreso during an outbreak like this.
rubber/plastic - if it goes in your mouth, hot water (not hot enough to melt!) and dish soap, if it doesnt, look up how to safely make a diluted bleach solution.
silicone - silicone is usually dish washer safe.
fabric - if its light, add bleach to the washing machine, if its colored, you can use white vinegar or hydrogen peroxide which are less likely to discolor any dyes. lysol detergent is also super great. small items you’re worried about losing, or items with details/loose parts, you can usually wash inside of a sealed pillow case. 
‘squishies’ - for ‘mochi’ squishies aka the rubbery ones, soap and water + some dusted baby powder or corn starch (optional) to keep it from grabbing lint for a while. for foam squishies, they can rarely be deep cleaned without the risk of growing mold or taking paint off, but a disinfecting wipe every now and then should keep it clean for a while.
slime - cant be disinfected, sorry. also a breeding ground for mold if you arent careful, so its always best to cycle through these quickly.
technology - cant really be completely sterilized, but there are many places to get sprays and cleaning wipes for the devices you use that can at least keep the areas your hands frequently touch a little cleaner.
BUT of course if your item comes with instructions on how to wash it, always follow that instead. this is just a general idea.
and as a final note;;; disabled ppl should not feel guilty or dirty for struggling with this. like. man idc abt ur cringe feels or your ignorant blame or your lack of understanding/sympathy for what goes into these tasks for us. if u dont wanna get our struggles and sensitivities when we’re working twice as hard on functioning tasks which personal ease you take for granted, thats on you. @ disabled people if you struggle with maintaining the same standard of hygiene as nts you arent gross or bad fucking person, you’re disabled and by definition that means your level of functioning will be different, and you deserve sympathy. its just that germs dont discriminate, they wanna cause problems for everybody involved (especially you!!!), so Anything you can manage is Great and if anything from this post can help make it a little easier for people in any way, i feel its absolutely necessary to talk about with respect and dignity. people with autism/adhd/sensory processing disorder/similar neurodivergencies/literally anybody else this could benefit, pls feel free to add on any tips you might have or send me questions. let disabled ppl help disabled ppl do our personal bests
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mistymark · 6 years ago
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the boyfriend one. [yuta]
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full masterlist // part of the nct boyfriend series // 1.0k
okay so
tbh I kinda see yuta as a (pure) switch
like he's TOTALLY in love w you
but also like,,, not afraid to joke around with you
is Annoying Boyfriend
PDA is his best friend
personal space? yuta doesnt know her
he is always always a l w a y s touching you
PURELY THO
no sinners in our house
lots of playful banter
just bc yuta has The Greatest Sense Of Humour to date
like
he'd catapult himself onto ur bed to wake you up then be like
 “I’d offer you breakfast but you didn’t make any”
but you'd be like “its okay im not hungry”
“WHAT COME ON”
*muffled giggling*
OH!!!! AND!!
the babe incident:
y’all are chilling w The Bois (tee em) and aw :( time for yuta to go :((
anyways so he gets up to leave all swagger and Chill
“okay bye see you tomorrow”
and instantly ur CACKLING
bc this boy
this MOTHER TrUCKER
couldnt call u babe in front of his friends
*deep voice* “okay bye see you tomorrow YOU DIDNT WANNA SAY BABE IN FRONT OF YOUR FRIENDS CALL ME BABE CALL ME BABE-”
and then he'd start laughing at u bc ur impersonation of him is lowkey cute
but he'd be shutting the door and just call out “OKAY OKAY BYE BABE I LOVE YOU”
and he's like oh SHIT
no no no this cannot be happening it just slipped out im sorry
ur like o.O
this is not something that has happened before
“did you-”
“NO”
“im pretty sure-”
“NO you must have misheard I said I love… fruit?”
*unimpressed* “you hate fruit”
“thats ten” - doyoung, unhelpfully, from the other side of the door, circa 2019
“I’ve had a recent revelation that maybe I don’t dislike it as much as I believed”
nakamoto yuta LOVES you
and he just said it for the first time accidentally in front of ALL OF HIS FRIENDS
ur shy
and hes super embarrassed bc he wanted it to be said in a cute way for the first time
and ur shocked
but u dont want him to suffer alone:
“I love you too.”
blushing
bLuShinG
BLUSHING
BLUSHING
this boy sends u the CUTEST GRIN
then completely dips
(it was also after this point that he began to feel okay calling u babe in front of the other members)
y’all go shopping a lot
but he also likes to join you when you go grocery shopping
likes to ride around on the trolleys as u do all the actual shopping
oh my god and he is That Kid that sneaks things into the cart when ur not looking
so one day y'all are out grocery shopping
getting that bREAD
and he's wearing this green hoodie, and ur wearing blue
*picks up lettuce* “this matches my outift”
then ur like oh!!! cute!!!
so u grab the first blue object you see in the cart
and ur like !!! this matches MINE!
and this boy
literally falls over he's laughing so hard
ur confused
ur like ????????? what
so u glance at the packet and immediately u drop them
as if theyre like poison or something idk
because “OH MY GOD WHAT ARE CONDOMS DOING IN OUR CART”
I feel like yuta is either a person who is completely apologetic or completely unapologetic
he’ll either find it hard to apologise and wont do it at all, or will apologise for everything
I mean, you'd realise this and wouldn't push him about things - you’d know he's sorry either way
but totally making him apologise for putting cONDOMS IN OUR CART THAT WAS THE MOST EMBARRASSING THING EVER OH MY GOD
but he's also all about the small gestures too
really likes to SHOW his love more than say it
unless its winwin
he always brings you coffee and tea
when ur working or studying or just really tired
and then he'd pull the whole:
“I brought you coffee. just the way you like it.”
*confused* “hot?”
“like your boyfriend ;)”
ALSO
“wow the sky is so beautiful”
“you know what else is beautiful”
“what? :D”
“me”
overall tho hes a total sweetheart
probably takes u on the cutest dates
likes fun dates
amusement parks, arcades, mini golf, etc.
but if its like
later than 2pm he’ll refuse to go out
so you'd just cuddle and play video games or board games or something
really tries to impress ur family
probably comes over and brings flowers
you're like !! aw !! yuta !!
and he's like nah fam these arent for u ur ugly lol
but then he sees ur mother and he's like :))) hi :))))) these are for you :))) uwu
once he knows ur family loves him
he boasts about it all the time
“yo y/n ur mum invited me to dinner”
“?? when?”
“Wednesday? I know u cant make it you wont be missed lol”
especially to the other members
and if one o them is in a relationship ??????? bonus points
like
“guys y/n and I are couple goals,,, her parents are practically begging me to marry her”
“is this because they said you should come to their neighbour’s bar mitzvah??”
“shut up jaehyun ur irrelevant only people who are dating can #ContributeTheirOpinions”
OKAY ENOUGH JOKES
yuta is actually so gorgeous and I love him to pieces
probably gives you all his clothes bc he thinks u look hot wearing them
texts you at the most inconvenient times (e.g. during meetings, lectures, exams, classes, etc.) and claims he “forgot” you were doing something important
when he can see u from across the room he’ll text u something sappy like “you look beautiful” or “I love you” just to see the way your face lights up at his words
slut for putting his hand on ur thigh when ur sitting next to him
sometimes he doesnt even notice himself doing it
you'll just sit down and he's like yep hand + thigh = happy yuta
looks at ur lips
its kind of a giveaway that he wants to kiss you
its hella subconscious tho and the first time u pointed it out he got all smiley and embarrassed
like he didn’t know he had a habit of staring at ur lips when he wanted to kiss you
and it was a dead giveaway if u were playing video games in the lounge room and he’s laughing with you and then suddenly he’s staring at your lips
you Know what he’s thinking about
“Yuta,, stop” “????? I wasn’t ?? Doing anything??”
has a selfie of the two of you as his home screen background
and a random photo he took of you as his lock screen
it changes regularly tho
because he “cant pick a favourite”
FaceTimes you often
like prefers it over texting or calling
bc he gets to see you as if ur with him
and its :(((
but u see each other a lot anyway so what is he on about
u think its just bc he likes to screenshot u when ur pulling ugly faces or brushing ur teeth
its really because he really just enjoys looking at you
probably screenshots all ur snapchats
but only the ones where youve just woken up or pulling the worst faces
keeps them all
“YUTA OH MY GOD WHY DID YOU SCREENSHOT THAT I LOOK AWFUL” “no you look cute :((”
tbh his social media is probably filled with selfies of you two from way too close
like pulling crazy faces in pics with you that its hard to get a selfie with him just smiling nicely
but every photo you have taken of you together by other people look like your both about to walk a red carpet
truly visual couple
instantly smiles when u walk in the room
and probably gets offended when you dont immediately go to him when you enter
like who could u possibly need to talk to more than him
#rude
nah but seriously he loves seeing u
and when ur happy
oh boy
he's happy too
grinning at all times
what a babe
like LITERALLY
ALWAYS SMILIGN AROUND YOU AND MY HEART EXPLODES WHEN I LOOK AT HIM GOODNIGHT
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tfw-no-tennis · 5 years ago
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continuted hxh thotz
we watched more so i continue my ramblings 
so we finished the trick tower stuff and started on the stuff on the island where theyre all hunting each other....wow finally some hunting in hunter x hunter 
can i just say....fuck hisoka i hate that guyyyy oh my goddddd hes the worst. i just feel incandescent rage whenever hes on screen vhbjdshfjhbsd smarmy horny clown bitch. looooord. he invokes a similar emotion to part 1 dio tbh....like i lose my domestication when i see both those bitches 
oh god that part where hisoka had just spent like hours de-hornifying himself or w/e and he looks all crusty and dehydrated and then he spots that old guy who looks kinda ghibli and he just goes AFTER ghibli man....like hisoka literally had one of those wack ass super detailed faces and just started screaming and running at that guy...like man i wouldve died instantly on the spot. jesus 
gon remains best best perfect baby boy. every time he does something so cute and pure that my heart starts palpating, i get even more nervous for the shit hes gonna go thru someday 
gon and killua are literally soooo precious theyre just two lil boys!!! two lads!!! lad boys! augh i love how much theyre vibing all the time...like on the boat to the island when theyre like refusing to tell each other who their target is and then they both start laughing and then show each other....so precious
honestly im really enjoying how they dont really have a rivalry (yet?) - theyre not like ‘yes we are friends but we’re also COMPETING! so we cant be That nice to each other bc that wouldnt be fair! or w/e you know that typical shounen stuff. i only enjoy that sometimes and im glad its not a thing rn, and if it does become like that later i probs wont mind bc i feel like itd be done well 
so ruth and i caught on to the fact that that weird guy with the pins stuck all over himself was illuminati or w/e his name is (illumi? illumini? i forget already) but HOLY FUCK we both thought he was wearing a mask....god i wish that were the case, that face transformation shit was the WORST. sir why can you do that 
also when hisoka just watched this and was like ‘i always like seeing you do that’ or whatever god gross nasty i hate them
my take on the little we’ve seen of hisoka and illumitations relationship: theyre like the catty mean girls-types but Super Fucking Weird. idk if theyre gay togther (probably) but theyd be the epitome of a ‘is this allowed? [gestures at All That]’ couple. i had more thoughts on them but i forgt 
i find it funny that they havent shown killua like at all during this island hunting thing hvbhsdhfbjdk he probably has like 10 randos badges already. i feel like he would give gon a badge or 2 if gon needed them but that doesnt seem to be the case 
when hisoka spotted leorio and kurapika and went after them i was like [guy yelling NOOOOOOOOOOO meme] freal 
thank goodness kurapika could recognize that they would Fucking Die trying to fight hisoka, and bargained w/him instead. also seeing the flashback of leorio trying to fight hisoka was so funny. my man WHAT! were you thinking 
this is probably the stage that tonpa is getting out on and can i just say thank god i hate that guy. good riddance 
that sniper lady looked cool and im bummed illuminty took her out offscreen :( i also thought the black guy with the beehive stick thing was gonna do more but guess not
i find it funny that so many characters have these loud character designs but end up not having a lot of screentime...i feel like ive been conditioned by one piece to see an eye-catching character and mentally prepare to see a wholeass backstory lol
also. illunikn is clearly a huge freak which is probably why hisoka is willing to work w/him, but his design is weirdly cute sometimes (when hes not doing absolutely freaky shit, which....admittedly isnt often)
like the part where he transforms into his True Cat Man Form and then, without changing expression, digs a giant hole with his bare hands (with the body language of a feral person) and then gets into it to nap.....like.....bro. 
also ik illiminini is killuas brother (i think brother?) and wow that family has some strong Cat genes 
i find it interesting that hisoka has been working with illiimini this whole time, hisoka strikes me as a solo type of guy who would be all like ‘teamwork is beneath me’ and only have minions (a la dio, espec p1 dio) but he seems to have a fairly even relationship w/illuimian which is wild. i rlly wonder if thatll last or if hisoka is gonna like, murder/abandon ilubimi later bc he ‘gets in hisokas way’ or st 
i like that kurapika and leorio teamed up....married
i generally really like how the relationships between the main characters are handled, its sweet how theyre just like....generally nice to each other and stuff lol 
also oh my god i forgot that last time i hadnt seen the end of trick tower i need to talk abt that 
KILLUA MY BOY OH MY GOD....ive been waiting for this ngl. ily smug murderous catboy
i love so much how killua casually kills this ~*~scary guy~*~ and everyones like :0 but gon is just like yep thats killua! hes from a family of assassins! like the way he says it so casually and kinda cheery aw i love him. he doesnt even care that killua can murder people in 2 seconds flat, he thinks killua is AWESOME 
and oh my god i love how hard killua is trying like, all the time. he is trying his HARDEST to be AS COOL AS POSSIBLE for gon and thats adorable. its working too gon clearly thinks killua is SUPER cool 
the eternally hilarious part where kurapika asked what killuas secret tactic are re: ripping that guys heart out, and killua is just like ‘uh i just ripped it out. yknow...as one does..’ and kurapika is like wow im glad this murder catboy is on our side.. 
the psychology stuff in the trick tower was interesting as hell (catch me brushing off my psych minor like, oh yeah i know abt this stuff lol)...i like the stuff abt leorio getting discouraged/disgruntled when the majority ended up being against him a lot bc thats true!! thats how it works!! it leads to learned helplessness and stuff like that...also that animation of kurapika and leorio playing cards to explain the tough candle choice was sooo cute 
i really loved the solution to the final majority rule things....ingeniously following the rules while still managing to circumvent them in ways...love it
also gon is so perfect have i mentioned that already
im so curious whos gonna pass the hunter exam, i legit have no idea and i would find it so funny if gon becomes a hunter in the first goddamn arc hjhbdfhsdjbgk as ruth said, itd kinda be like luffy becoming pirate king in like chapter 70
i mean tbf if i had to guess id say gon passes, simply bc i cant see the story taking the time to have him do the hunter exam again in a year. also his motivation is to become a hunter in order to see what its all about bc of his dad - not JUST to become a hunter 
gons fishing rod is so cute. perfect item for a perfect boy 
his training was adorable. hes a smart lad! formidable baby 
the blooderflies were so cool and OH MY GOD how could i forget the part where gon had two blooderflies with little leashes on and had the leashes tied to one of his fingers....OOOUGHHHHGBSJFHSJBFUHEJKSDD bro my heart literally palpated like it does when my cat does something rlly cute, gon is seriously That cute and pure and good
every time hisoka is anywhere near gon i just wanna call the FBI on that clowns ass oh y god. pls leave ladboy alone....
anyways i love the main characters (HISOKA DONT INTERACT) and i cant wait to see what happens next. i might have more thoughts but coherency is not one of my strengths so bye
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fluffyheretic · 5 years ago
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I’m so fucking tempted to say “every single question with Kazushuu or Hitoshuu (except for the nsfw ones i guess)” But I don’t want to singlehandedly kill you
ok let’s do it
as a side note sometimes the answer is the same or similar for both ships just bc shuu is uh. the same person. but ofc not always
under cut for lengthhhh
1. Who makes the first move and how?
hitoshuu: normally im gonna say definitely hitori. he probably decides to be direct and just straight up ask. in iwasweetie au specifically tho i want it to be sweetie if only bc i need to make him get over his shit. he also asks “directly” but it actually involves a lot of stuttering and beating around the bush so it ends up not being very direct
shuukazu: im not sure if it would really be one of them specifically, i can see them as the “this kind of just happened” couple. maybe kazuaki is the one after several months whos like “so um… what are we…. lol………..”
2. Who is the most insecure and what makes them feel better?
hitoshuu: shuu, not that hitori is the paragon of confidence but shuus like “wtf hes the ideal young man and im Bastard Supreme but ok i guess”
shuukazu: BOTH LMAO but kazu is more vocal abt it and shuu is the Bottle Up EVERYTHING type
some good ol body positivity cuddle sessions work in both cases
3. Who is the most romantic?
anyone but shuu for obvious “i dont even know what feelings ARE” reasons
4. Who can’t keep their hands to themselves?
again anyone but shuu for obvious “i dont even know what intimacy IS” reasons but specifically hitori is just more confident and kazuaki isnt necessarily confident but is more just. shameless
5. Who says ‘I love you’ first?
not shuu for similar reasons as above. there’s a trend here, you see
6. Who would they ask if they ever had a threesome?
THIS is a CHRISTIAN blog
7. What do they get up to on a night out?
hitoshuu: going to dinner at a place thats nice but not TOO nice. like good comfortable atmosphere and good food but not posh
shuukazu: they probably just wander around, maybe go shopping, kazuaki keeps pointing out stuff he wants and dr iwamine “i dont know what to do with my money bc i dont want for material things” shuu just buys it for him. shuu please stop enabling him. stop it.
8. What do they like in bed?
hitoshuu: cuddling :)
shuukazu: snuggling :)
9. What is the most embarrassing thing they have done in front of each other?
i feel like shuu considers every single new couple-y thing he does to be the new most embarrassing thing he’s done. we’re holding hands? embarrassing. i kissed you? god now THATS embarrassing. you caught me wearing your sweater that you accidentally left at my place? well put me in the fucking ground thats literally the most embarrassing thing that ever happened to anybody. how dare i show sentimentality. despicable
kazuaki is similar in that he’s constantly one-upping himself and getting a NEW most embarrassing thing but his things include stuff like getting caught watching really strange anime and scream-singing pop songs and anime OPs in the shower
hitori probably like tripped on the sidewalk once
10. What two songs, two books and two luxury items do they take to a desert island?
these questions are difficult bc man idk what media exists in 2188 bird japan
11. What do they hide from one another?
in both cases shuus answer is “just about everything” hes terrified of the mortifying ordeal of being known. pretty much everything you learn about him has to be squeezed out
hitori hides how troubled he really is because he wants to seem like the responsible one everyone can depend on so that they dont have to worry about him. he does his best to hide when hes struggling but since shuu has that exact same impulse they pretty quickly start to see through each other, but are also very understanding about it.
kazuaki probably doesnt have as much to hide but he might be shy about portraying how REALLY in love with shuu he is too soon because he doesnt want to scare him away. he also hides the weirder shows and games and stuff that hes into lol
12. What first changes when it starts getting serious?
hitoshuu: i can see them having that kind of relationship where at first its casual and almost competitive in a way, like a “i think youre sexy and the only thing i know to do about it is see what i can do to make you flustered, then act smug when i succeed” thing. but over time when the novelty of that starts to wear off they both kinda realize they just straight up like each other and start being more genuine and soft.
shuukazu: again its a similar thing with shuu where he starts feeling more comfortable with letting himself be a little more genuine and START opening up. kazuaki picks up on this as a good sign and starts to worry less about trying to impress shuu and more just enjoying their time together.
13. When do they realize they should get together?
this is another one that i think is a similar answer in both cases, at least for shuu’s part he has a “dammit. i cant lose him” moment. since hes a person of very few words he tries to communicate “i want us to be serious” via letting down his walls a little bit, which hitori/kazuaki hopefully notice is happening and then are like “oh maybe we can work”
14. When one has a cold, what does the other do?
for shuu and hitori its “responsibly take care of you, bc its what i should do but also secretly i get STRESSED AS FUCK when someone i care about is sick so i gotta make sure youre okay”
for kazuaki its “take care of you, although i dont really know what im doing, also i thought since youre bedridden we could cuddle but its not as enjoyable as i wanted so like I’m Here but also im gonna watch tv okay? ill get u crackers and ginger ale”
15. When they watch a film what do they choose and why? Who gets the final vote?
hitoshuu: shuu’s gonna say he doesn’t care, but hitori also doesn’t really care so eventually he’ll get shuu to admit that he’d like to watch a nature documentary. especially if it’s marine-themed. hitori likes that too so hey there you go
shuukazu: shuu WILL watch the 76th pokemon movie OR ELSE
16. When the zombie apocalypse comes, how do they cope together?
hitoshuu: both are cutthroat bastards that do anything it takes to keep each other safe. their reliance and trust in each other is probably 99% of what keeps them going.
shuukazu: again shuus gonna do literally anything it takes to keep kazuaki safe, but to be real i dont know if kazuaki is making it out of this one. and if he doesnt then shuus not either.
17. When they find a time machine, where do they go?
shuu’s answer is going to be at various points in prehistory to study organisms that are now long-extinct (side note god thats definitely my answer too). his bf is worried abt the dangers but comes with him to make sure he doesn’t get into trouble.
i think hitori might not have anything specific in mind but going to historical sites in their heydays seems like a good choice.
since kazuaki likes literature he’d probably want to see historical stuff related to that, like seeing shakespeare plays when they first came out and meeting his favorite dead authors to ask them questions.
18. When they fight, how do they make up?
hitoshuu: hitori doesn’t like to dance around that kind of thing, after a little time has passed for them to both think about it then he’ll just be direct and say “hey lets talk about that thing that happened” if he feels he was in the wrong then he’ll then follow that up with an apology. i can see hitori being a little grudgy but then quickly getting tired of it and just wanting things to be resolved. shuu hates talking things out because hes bad at it but he knows its best so he’ll just try to explain how he felt at the time but also what he’s considered since then. even if he’s not good at explaining himself, hitori is good at understanding him anyway so they usually work it out pretty quickly.
shuukazu: they can be messier since kazuaki gets really emotional really quickly and sometimes says things he doesnt mean. theyre both bad at dealing with it afterwards though until after a few awkward days, kazuaki cant take it and is like “waaa i dont want us to be fighting anymore 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺” and shuus like “ok.” because yeah he’ll take the easy way out. they could probably improve their communication tbh
19. Where do they go on their first date?
hitoshuu: they probably decide to do something simple and casual to make it less awkward so they just get coffee. shuu feels like, from what he knows, that he should be expecting hitori to make a move on him. hitori doesnt because he wants to be considerate of shuus comfort level, but shuu takes it as a sign of disinterest. luckily shuu realizes hes wrong about that when hitori quickly invites him on Another date where they take a stroll in the park, and thats when hitori goes in for the tactical hand-hold maneuver.
shuukazu: kind of the opposite of hitoshuu in that they dont really declare it officially as a date. kazuaki just asks shuu if he wants to see a movie with him, not really calling it a date but kind of implying it to be one. shuu probably doesnt care about the movie but thinks this might possibly maybe be a date so he should go. kazuaki then uses it as a chance to Put On The Movies, as awkward as that might be, including the classic “stretch with my arms up and then let one down over your shoulders” move. shuu doesnt really know how to indicate his own interest in response but hopes the fact that hes also not complaining in any way gives a hint. despite it not REALLY being an official date at the time, later on theyll look back on it and decide that yeah that was their first date.
20. Where do they go on holiday?
shuu hates taking time off work, but if he must, then he’ll be content as long as theres something scientifically interesting there like a museum or an aquarium.
hitori doesnt really mind where they go, hes just grateful to get to go on holiday at all, so he’ll let shuu pick. and again, that’s going to be somewhere with a natural history museum, probably a very nice one and they’ll both enjoy it.
kazuaki is similar in that he’s just happy to be there but his ideal holiday destination is probably just…. akihabara. so shuu relents and goes there with him occasionally. kazuaki does like to visit aquariums with shuu though! they do both
21. Where do they get nervous about going with one another?
hitoshuu: the cemetery, at least at first when they arent used to being that vulnerable in front of each other
shuukazu: well shuu sure as shit is nervous about going to anime cons with kazu
22. Where does their first kiss happen?
in both cases, definitely at one of their homes, because shuus too much of a wreck to have a moment like that in a public place.
for shuukazu, i picture it that theyre just hanging out at kazuakis place and relaxing, and they end up cuddling a lot, and kazuaki kisses him kind of impulsively. hes then very apologetic about it before shuu manages to assure him that its fine.
hitoshuu, maybe hitori walks shuu home after a date and goes for the classic end of date goodbye kiss, but just on the cheek. then when once again hitori has walked shuu home, shuu wonders if he should expect a real kiss this time, but hitori goes for the cheek again. shuus disappointed and grabs hitoris sleeve before he turns away because he doesnt know how to say he wants more. but hitori takes the hint and kisses him for real this time.
23. Where is their favorite place to be together?
in both cases it’s at home, because shuu finds it much easier to be intimate when they’re in privacy. i think all three of them really appreciate just getting to relax together.
24. Where do they first have sex?
what did i say about this being a christian blog
25. Why do they fight?
usually its because shuu said something a little too tactless. hes not so clueless that he’ll say something really obviously offensive, but sometimes he really doesn’t know what’s too much. but his bf is hopefully understanding of this and corrects him Still Firmly but still with some “but i know you didnt mean it like that, we’re okay” way, because chances are he really didnt.
for hitoshuu specifically, hitori has to be on shuu about eating properly and can sometimes get kind of annoyed about it. shuus kneejerk reaction is to then be offended because hes an adult who can take care of himself. but they calm down and make up when shuu remembers that hitori just worries for him, and hitori remembers that shuu doesnt not eat just to spite him.
for shuukazu, i can see kazuaki’s lack of responsibility and aloofness start to get on shuu’s nerves, and when he brings it up kazuaki thinks he’s just being mean. again, similarly to hitoshuu, they get over it when kazuaki reminds himself that shuu wants him to be able to take care of himself, and shuu reminds himself as well that he can be too abrasive and should work on it.
26. Why do they need to have a serious chat?
hitoshuu: they dont have to right away but over time it would be good for them to be honest abt their respective traumas and the shit theyre dealing with instead of hiding it
shuukazu: similar, shuu should probably get around to being more open abt his shit. they might also want to have a talk abt what a serious relationship is gonna look like for them
27. Why do their friends get annoyed with them?
hitoshuu: i answered this already! but again, its bc theyre so ~responsible~
shuukazu: ppl either see kazuaki being super clingy and think “man hes so overbearing, his poor partner 😒” or see shuu being emotionless and think “man theyre so cold, their poor boyfriend 😒” actually they gotta mind their own damn business
28. Why do they get jealous?
hitoshuu: i feel like hitori actually gets hit on a pretty decent amount. shuu is never happy about it, but the death glares he starts sending usually scare the person off anyway
shuukazu: both of them think the other is too good for them so if anyone looks at them with even a little too much interest the other is immediately like “well i guess this is it”
29. Why do they fall a little bit more in love?
hitoshuu: little moments shuu loves is when hitori asks him how he is, how he slept. when he makes him dinner. hitori loves when shuu looks deep in thought, tucks his hair behind his ear, and he definitely likes to see him get along with nageki, which he does.
shuukazu: shuu loves when kazuakis eyes light up with excitement when he sees something he likes, especially when shuu realizes that hes one of those things too. he also loves kazuakis really nice hugs, especially when shuu just woke up from a nightmare. kazuaki loves how shuu listens to him intently, and asks questions about the things hes interested in, and sometimes rests his hand on him when hes getting tired.
30. Why does it work (or not work) between them?
hitoshuu: both are important figures in each other’s lives, obv shuu helped nageki but also hitori is probably the first person to get even a little close to shuu after ryuuji died. theyre both just pockets of trauma but are doing their best so it would be good for them to support each other and try to heal. theyre both pretty dependable so when the going gets tough they’re each other’s rocks
shuukazu: theyre definitely the “it will never work” couple that ends up working anyway. shuu might think kazuaki is annoying at first but if ryuuji is any indication shuu definitely seems to gravitate towards people who are more chill and even a little silly, and when shuu realizes that kazuaki isnt as dumb as he makes himself seem that helps a lot. for kazuaki shuu definitely has a ~mysterious~ aspect that draws him in initially but when it wears off as he learns more about shuu, instead of the magic being gone he just starts finding him more relatable and endearing so their relationship actually improves.
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greymuse · 5 years ago
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Witchy QnA
1. Are you solitary or in a coven?
Solitary!
2. Do you consider yourself Wiccan, Pagan, witch, or other?
Witch, or Enchantress if I wanna sound fancy
3. What is your zodiac sign?
Leo sun, Aquarius moon, Leo rising
4. Do you have a Patron God/dess?
Nope
5. Do you work with a Pantheon?
Nope
6. Do you use tarot, palmistry, or any other kind of divination?
Tarot sometimes
7. What are some of your favorite herbs to use in your practice? (if any)
Im just starting to get into more physical items. I was raised to do most things mentally.
8. How would you define your craft?
Im not sure? Green but a lil eclectic
9. Do you curse? If not, do you accept others who do?
I dont think of it as cursing. More so protection from certain people.
10. How long have you been practicing?
I found out about what I was already doing as being Witchcraft a couple months ago. But Ive been using Tarot, using kitchen Witch spells, as “prayers” as spells since I can remember
11. Do you currently or have you ever had any familiars?
Nope. I hope to have one soon though
12. Do you believe in Karma or
Reincarnation?
Absolutely believe in karma. Reincarnation, possibly. Its definitely something I think about
13. Do you have a magical name?
Nope.
14. Are you “out of the broom closet”?
My whole moms side practices casually, so I mean I guess? But I havent referred to  myself as a Witch or something like that.
15. What was the last spell you performed?
I enchanted a ring I got. Also, a money spell that worked but uhh its definitely showing me that I need to work harder.
16. Would you consider yourself knowledgeable?
Im pretty decent. Most of what I look up is common knowledge to me
17. Do you write your own spells?
I havent yet, but I also dont do many spells verbally. I more so visually manifest
18. Do you have a book of shadows? If so, how is it written and/or set up?
I do, Its just a plain lil notebook, I have just some basic reference sheet type things in it.
19. Do you worship nature?
Absolutely
20. What is your favorite gemstone?
rose quartz. or tigers eye
21. Do you use feathers, claws, fur, pelt, skeletons/bones, or any other animal body part for magical work?
I dont particularly enjoy using animal/ human materials. I use natural things, like dirt and water.
  22. Do you have an altar?
Not so much a physical Altar, but my bed is definitely my safe space and I can clear my mind here the easiest.
23. What is your preferred element?
Water, but fire always make me wide eyed and curious. definitely curious. but its destructive potential scares me.
24. Do you consider yourself an Alchemist?
Not art all haha
25. Are you any other type of magical practitioner besides a witch?
Im not sure!
26. What got you interested in witchcraft?
realizing that I had been practicing for my whole life and I hadnt known before
27. Have you ever performed a spell or ritual with the company of anyone who was not a witch?
yeah, with my mom and her mom. I just didnt know at the time. We do protection spells often.
28. Have you ever used ouija?
yup! with my mom and her mom. Its just a family thing we do every time we all get together. I grew up thinking it was completely normal.
29. Do you consider yourself a psychic?
My mom says I used to be. I used to dream about natural disasters before they happened as a kid. I dont think im too good anymore. just empathetic.
30. Do you have a spirit guide? If so, what is it?
I dont think I do. If anything, I do feel a feminine energy? dark (like a shadow, not negative) and watery is the best way I can describe it. But its not a human  entity. Just energy.
31. What is something you wish someone had told you when you first started?
That not everyone believes what you do. And its totally okay! Just maybe dont loudly announce your Ouija board antics with your science teacher in middle school.
32. Do you celebrate the Sabbats? If so which one is your favorite?
I havent before, but im going to try to this year
33. Would you ever teach witchcraft to your children?
Absolutely. I want my son to grow up the same way I did around magick. Itll be normal for him.
34. Do you meditate?
Sometimes! its definitely something im trying to do more often.
35. What is your favorite season?
Fall and Spring! Theres so much change
36. What is your favorite type of magick to preform?
Im not sure yet! Ive only just started branching out and actually considering what ive been doing all my life as magick.
37. How do you incorporate your spirituality into your daily life?
Daily affirmations/ protection spells, I manifest me and my sons happiness and safety every day.
38. What is your favorite witchy movie?
I dont think Ive seen any haha
39. What is your favorite witchy book, both fiction and non-fiction. Why?
The Darkest Powers books by Kelly Armstrong. More supernatural (vampires, werewolves, stuff like that) but I loved it growing up.
40. What is the first spell you ever preformed? Successful or not.
Knowingly, a protection spell from someone who had hurt me
41. What’s the craziest witchcraft-related thing that’s happened to you?
Im not sure! I can see auras if i really focus and can tune into someone, so maybe when i saw a family member with a pure black aura? That was freaky
42. What is your favourite type of candle to use?
I dont use candles! Bonfires or fires in fireplaces usually, to burn a paper if needed. Again, I dont  trust myself with fire very much.
43. What is your favorite witchy tool?
My crystals and my tarot. They all have vibrations. Everything does but especially those, because im so connected to them
44. Do you or have you ever made your own witchy tools?
I want to!  Havent yet
45. Have you ever worked with any magical creatures such as the fea or spirits?
Spirits, yes. I can call on family that Ive known in person for protection. Been doing that as long as i can remember
46. Do you practice color magic?
I used to! i dont really anymore. 
47. Do you or have you ever had a witchy teacher or mentor of any kind?
My mom, aunt, and grandma! 
48. What is your preferred way of shopping for witchcraft supplies?
Dollar store, thrift store, antique stores (though im always hesitant to use something that belonged to someone else. If there isnt a close emotional attachment, there wont be any noticeable vibrations.
49. Do you believe in predestination or fate?
I think theres a general way that things can happen. More like a decide your fate book. There are multiple options, it just depends on what you choose.
50. What do you do to reconnect when you are feeling out of touch with your practice?
Meditate, or go to the lake.
51. Have you ever had any supernatural experiences?
ohhhh boy. I got stories.
52. What is your biggest witchy pet peeve?
People thinking theyre better bc they have a crap ton of materials, thinking im less than because I visualize easier than with material items.
53. Do you like incense? If so what’s your favorite scent?
I do, I just cant very often. I have a child and very smell sensitive people livingg with me
54. Do you keep a dream journal of any kind?
I rarely ever remember a dream, so no
55. What has been your biggest witchcraft disaster?
Im not sure ive had one yet
56. What has been your biggest witchcraft success?
I havent seen who i dont want to see since protecting myself
57. What in your practice do you do that you may feel silly or embarrassed about?
 Everything, haha. I think thats why I enjoy visualizing instead of rituals or verbal stuff.
58. Do you believe that you can be an atheist, Christian, Muslim or some other faith and still be a witch too?
Absolutely!
59. Do you ever feel insecure, unsure or even scared of spell work?
yes, I feel like it //can be// kinda like a genie in a bottle type thing. Itll work, but not without a price.
60. Do you ever hold yourself to a standard in your witchcraft that you feel you may never obtain?
Nope
61. What is something witch related that you want right now?
A cauldron to mix and burn things in haha
62. What is your rune of choice?
I dont know yet! Runes are something Im looking into
63. What is your tarot card of choice?
My birth card, the Tower.
64. Do you use essential oils? If so what is your favorite?
I love lemon and eucalyptus 
65. Have you ever taken any kind of witchcraft or pagan courses?
nope!
66. Do you wear pagan jewelry in public?
Nope
67. Have you ever been discriminated against because of your faith or being a witch?
No one that would feel that way knows anything about it
68. Do you read or subscribe to any pagan magazines?
nope
69. Do you think it’s important to know the history of paganism and witchcraft?
Yes. Its like knowing world history and us history, We need to learn from the past.
70. What are your favorite things about being a witch?
I feel powerful, and connected and accepted by nature.
71. What are your least favorite things about being a witch?
having to tiptoe around things around certain people
72. Do you listen to any pagan music? If so who is your favorite singer/band?
Nope! ill have to look into it
73. Do you celebrate the Esbbats? If so, how?
I havent fully figured out what i want to do for the moon cycles yet, but I definitely want to. the moon and water are so closely related
74. Do you ever work skyclad?
No, but i mean.. maybe one day?
75. Do you think witchcraft has improved your life? If so, how?
I feel like i have more control of how im able to use my emotions and feelings
76. Where do you draw inspiration from for your practice?
The energy i talked about before.. It gets more intense and stronger sometimes, and i know i need to put more time and effort into my practice
77. Do you believe in ‘fantasy’ creatures? (Unicorns, fairies, elves, gnomes, ghosts, etc)
no, but i do believe in energy. not ghosts per say but definitely energy
78. What’s your favorite sigil/symbol?
I try to make most of them myself. I have one for protection while driving that i use for me and my boyfriend a lot. And one for the safety of my son.
79. Do you use blood magick in your practice? Why or why not?
Not as of right now. I did bleed onto my tarot cards on accident though..
80. Could you ever be in a relationship with someone who doesn’t support your practice?
Theres a difference  between “doesnt understand and doesnt care to” and “fully doest support and refuses to let you practice safely”. I dont mind the first, but wouldnt stay with the second.
81. In what area or subject would you most like your craft to grow?
Reading auras, and tarot. Also just connecting with nature more
82. What’s your favorite candle scent? Do you use it in your practice?
I love fall scents! but no, i dont really use candles
83. Do you have a pre-ritual ritual? (I.e. Something you do before rituals to prepare yourself for them). If so what is it?
Meditate and protect
84. What real life witch most inspires your practice?
My mom honestly lmao. i dont think she views herself as a full witch though.And my aunt
85. What is your favorite method of communicating with deity?
I dont worship dieties. But i like to just be in natural and connect emotionally, nonverbally to this energy Im somehow connected with.
86. How do you like to organize all your witchy items and ingredients?
In this lil wooden box my mom gave me for my birthday to hold the tarot cards my grandma gave me haha.
87. Do you have any witches in your family that you know of?
my mom. aunt, and grandma. I know my grandpas grandma was a voodoo witch too.
  88. How have you created your path? What is unique about it?
I havent seen much about nonverbal, mostly mental witchcraft. So i guess  thats one unique thing.
89. Do you feel you have any natural gifts or affinities (premonitions, hearing spirits, etc.) that led you toward the craft? If so what are they?
A couple things. Feeling vibrations, the connection to nature, auras, growing up surrounded by it.
90. Do you believe you can initiate yourself or do you have to be initiated by another witch or coven?
I believe you can initiate yourself. I dont feel the need for someone elses validation is i know my connection with nature is real
91. When you first started out in your path what was the first thing or things you bought?
crystals, lmao
92. What is the most spiritual or magickal place you’ve been?
The southern oregon coast. honestly everywhere in oregon feels so alive and vibrating so heavily with energy. The water and the lush greenery is perfection.
93. What’s one piece of advice you’d give someone who is searching for their matron and patron deities?
I have no idea, I dont follow a deity
94. What techniques do you use to ‘get in the zone’ for meditation?
quiet, listen to music i like and that help calm me, slightly cool, a breeze is good. the sound of real water flowing from a lake or ocean. recordings of water dont help me. sometimes white noise if theres too much noise
95. Did visualization come easily to you or did you have to practice at it?
visualization is the easiest thing for me. ive always daydreamed so heavily that itll be like im dreaming with my eyes totally open and tracking. 
  96. Do you prefer day or night? Why?
early mornings, right as the sun is coming up.
97. What do you think is the best time and place to do spell work?
I like doing spell work before bed, when the moon is bright enough to light up what im doing
98. How did you feel when you cast your first circle? Did you stumble or did it go smoothly?
I dont know if it counts as casting a circle? but i visualize a swirling white ball of energy, starting out like a strawberry size in my hands, and every time i breath in, it gets bigger. Its a protection circle. i learned to do it at like?? 3 years old?
99. Do you believe witchcraft gets easier with time and practice?
Yup!
100. Do you believe in many gods or one God with many faces?
If i had to guess, id say multiple gods/ goddesses. one entity shouldnt have that much power imo.
101. Do you eat meat, eggs and dairy?
Ive been trying to go vegetarian, and i eat minimal eggs and dairy.
102. What is your favorite color and why?
dark, smokey colors. grey, black, dark muted purples, navy, smoky pink.
103. What is the one question you get asked most by non-practitioners or non-pagans? How do you usually respond?
I dont have many people im even slightly into that stuff, let alone a witch. So usually just “how do i cleanse my house? i think its haunted” type stuff
104. Which of your five senses would you say is your strongest?
Feel, haha, physically and emotionally.
105. What is a pagan or witchcraft rule that you preach but don’t practice?
Always properly cleanse new materials, haha
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