#bc no one would ever use he/him for me of their own volition lets be real
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the more i think about it the more my gender probably is Yes but since i know if i tell people to use any pronouns for me 90% of them will default to she/her and while it wouldn't technically be wrong it also would be because they would be a cis woman kind of she/her and not a gender is weird and fucky and pronouns are just words kind of she/her
#shh kat#so until i get to a point presentation wise where she/her wouldn't bother me i am stuck with they/them#bc no one would ever use he/him for me of their own volition lets be real#same goes for all the neo sort of pronouns which are kinda baller ngl
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SoâŠ.whats a certain black widowâs thoughts on a realm jumping carpenter ant? Why is shuffled Shamura so drawn in by Sozonius? Is it the fact they are from another universe? Or do they like that Sozonius seems Knowledgeable? Why do they like this sozo? Why donât they like dating in their own universe?đŸđđ
ok letâs break this down into two parts bc this ask means everything to me. Its long so itll b under the cut
1) Why is Shuffled Shamura so drawn to Sozonius?
Simple- there is no Sozonius in their own world. Thereâs a Sozo, and thereâs a Helob. Thereâs a certain novelty that comes with having something no one else can thatâs only made more desirable by the fact that Sozonius is basically everything they could ever want in a partner/friend/companion/acquaintance, not even in the purely romantic sense. Sozonius is just the exact type of person Shamura would WANT to be around. Heâs a seeker of knowledge (likely possessing a vast amt of knowledge from his own universe AKA knowledge this Shamura DOESNâT have), heâs strong, heâs reliable, heâs RELATABLE, and a complete mystery that they are simply DYING to unravel. They just wanna tear him open and see how he ticks, and by god they will, and to hell with ANYONE who thinks otherwise. If romance happens to blossom, then so be it, but at the end of the day Sozonius is something new and theyâve GOT to at least see whatâs up with him.
2) Why donât they like dating in their own universe?
well, ok, letâs discuss the possible black widow bachelors and bachelorettes that they have in their own world. We have- cannibal ant, cannibal spider, cannibal goat, and the twinsâ mom (lots of cannibals, i seeâŠ) any other character they wouldâve had mild interest in, such as their followers/witnesses, are dead. All of them are either fools of their own volition or fools by unseen circumstances. Sozo is a foolish old kook who eats people, Helob is a foolish spider infected with fungus who ALSO eats people (had he been cured maybe sparks could fly, but as it stands currently, no), Goat is⊠I donât think I need to explain that one, and the twinsâ mother Lilith is a strong-willed but ultimately foolish woman who simply accepted having her pups taken away. None of them come CLOSE to Sozonius, and the two that DO (Helob and Lilith) either arenât interested in them or physically CANT be interested due to mushrooms growing out of their cranium.
They meanâŠ. So much to me
@panoffrying for both the classic shamura design above, the sozo design iâve been using, AND the sozonius in particular i talk about when I say âShuffled Shamura has the hots for Sozoniusâ. Iâm very normal wdym. no i havenât been rotting about them. no wdym. my slight lack in activity hasnât been because theyâre all i think abt now.
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Sunday x (Gender Neutral) Reader
Warnings: nothing really, ig maybe a little bit of angst but more hurt/comfort, you are the Astral Express medic, you're supposed to be a fallen angel but that's not really necessary to understand this and will p much only become relevant if I ever follow up this one-shot w the same reader x Sunday (which I might bc I love this idea of fallen angel x Sunday), also this is not intended to be canon to Sunday's true form or anything since it's unconfirmed if Halovians have multiple sets of wings or not
Word Count: 1726
As the de facto medic of the Astral Express, since you were the only trained doctor, you made it your top priority to always know how every one of the passengers was doing, physically and mentally. Currently, your most challenging case sat before you; Sunday, former head of the Oak Family and newest passenger aboard the train.Â
He sat stiffly, spine straight and hands crossed together neatly in his lap as he sat on your examination table. His head was facing straight but instead of looking at you, his gaze was on his hands. Youâd always felt a kinship with the Halovian, whether it be due to your own (miserable) past, or the fact that you both shared avian features. Your own wings twitched, feathers fluffing slightly as you tried to puzzle out the best way to help him. Getting him to even admit he needed help was akin to pulling teeth, but you were determined to be patient.Â
âSunday, I just need to look them over, okay? I wonât do anything you donât want me to,â you said, your voice soft as you tried your best to coax him.Â
He squeezed his hands tighter together, his voice barely audible as he spoke, âI know. I-â He cut himself off, pressing his lips closed as he refused to say anything else. Instead, he uncrossed his hands, and began disrobing his top half, unbuttoning his shirt and sliding the material off until his torso was bare.Â
His wings, a dark purple akin the nightingales youâd seen on Penacony, were on his lower back, further down than your own black wings which sat between your shoulder blades. His sat around his waist, and they were very obviously neglected. They were tightly wrapped around his torso, and the feathers were dull and in disarray, it was clear they needed to be preened. Most alarmingly, his flight feathers were clipped on his left side. It made you wonder if the piercings on his upper wings werenât of his own volition, if they were perhaps a reminder that he was a flightless bird.Â
You made your way behind him so you could observe the wings fully. Sunday himself was exceedingly skinny, and you made a mental note to talk to him about that another day; when he wasnât so shaken up. The connecting muscles to his wings were underdeveloped, making it apparent that even if his wing wasnât clipped he still would be unable to fly.Â
âIs it okay if I touch them?â you asked. Sunday gave you a shaky nod. Instead of immediately beginning a more thorough examination you spoke, âIâm going to try to stretch them out, okay? Iâll be gentle, but itâll probably be painful or uncomfortable. Please let me know if I need to stop.âÂ
A rush of breath left him, before he nodded again, his hands gripping onto the edge of the examination table to brace himself. You started with his left wing; it would be the most troublesome to deal with.Â
You took it slow, gently prying his wing away from his torso, stopping whenever heâd hiss in pain. It probably took the better part of a half hour to get the wing fully stretched out, but once it was, Sunday heaved a sigh of relief.Â
You examined the wing more thoroughly, trying to give him a break before you worked on his other one. His flight feathers were in worse shape than you first thought; many of the primaries had been clipped, including the ones used in landing. It was quite barbaric. You briefly wondered how many times the feathers had been clipped, how long it took Halovians to grow them back in, how many times had he endured such treatment?Â
The muscles in the wing were atrophied, and you knew youâd have to help Sunday set up a strict physical therapy regimen if he had any hope of ever flying again. You massaged the joints, helping to relieve the tension from being so cramped.Â
You gave him another momentâs reprieve, gently kneading the area where the wing met his back, before you began working on the other wing. This one didnât take as much time to straighten out, and you gave it just as much care as the other one, rubbing away the aches and pains that lanced through him.Â
Hearing a bang, your wings shot out, wrapping around Sundayâs form before you turned to the door. âHey- oh! Sorry, sorry.â March said, scratching at her head as she realized she was interrupting something. You could feel Sunday tuck into himself, his wings twitching as you felt him barely stop himself from wrapping them around himself. Thankfully, your wingspan was larger than his, mostly covering him from Marchâs view. âUm, I was just going to ask if youâd seen Dan Heng, but Iâm guessing not, so Iâll leave.â she said, giving an awkward laugh.Â
âSee you later March,â you said as she ducked out the door, giving it a firm shove shut. You could hear her voice carry through the door, speaking to the Trailblazer, before the two wandered off, presumably to find the elusive archivist.Â
Your wings settled back into place, tucking them against your back as you sighed. âSorry, Sunday. Are you okay?âÂ
His breath was shaky as you peered down at him, his face flushed from embarrassment. You werenât sure if he was embarrassed at the thought of March seeing him in such a vulnerable state, or if it was because youâd wrapped him in your wings. After a long moment, he responded, âYes, I amâŠfine. You may continue.âÂ
You hummed in acknowledgement before giving his wings another once over before you pulled away. âI wonât lie to you, theyâre in rough shape.â You moved back to the otherside of the table so you could look at him as you spoke. âYou need to stop constricting them immediately. The blood flow is severely damaged, and your joints are in less than ideal shape from the abuse. The bones themselves are doing well, but the muscles are atrophied.â You took a deep breath before continuing, âItâs going to take a lot of work to get them healthy again, but after strengthening them, and once your flight feathers grow back in, it could be possible to fly again.âÂ
His face seemed to crumple at your words. ThisâŠwas not an expression youâd ever seen on him before, especially considering heâd tried his best to appear perfect, hiding away any perceived flaw away from prying eyes. You had to stop yourself from reaching out, uncertain if heâd be appreciative of any physical contact, even if all you wanted to do right now was comfort him. All at once his expression dropped, his eyes downcast and gaze dead as he spoke, the whisper so low you werenât sure he meant for you to hear, âDo I even deserveâŠ?âÂ
You sighed. âForget whether you deserve it or not, do you want it?â
Sunday raised his head, looking you in the eyes, though his gaze remained far away as his lips parted. âI donât know.â His expression turned pained as he licked his lips, nervous, as he finally seemed to see you again. âCan you help me fix them?âÂ
You smiled, nodding. âI have some general ideas on what needs to be done, but Iâll do a bit more research on Halovians specifically to help, just give me a day or two to figure out a plan. For now though, weâll need to get you some better fitting clothes, and the feathers need to be preened. If youâd like, I can do that, or I can leave you to your own devices.âÂ
His cheeks slowly flushed again, the wings by his ears fluttering nervously, and you had to suppress the desire to cup his face in your hands. He was so pretty it was unfair, but you wanted to help him, and it wouldnât do to admit any budding feelings you had for the Halovian. It was obvious he needed a friend, and you didnât want to jeopardize the fragile trust built between the two of you.Â
Sunday cleared his throat. âIf you truly would not mind, your help would be appreciated.âÂ
âDo you want tea or anything? This may take a little bit of time,â you said.Â
He shook his head, âThat is unnecessary.âÂ
The two of you situated on the examination table, you had your own legs crossed together as you found the most comfortable position. You began your work; gently opening pin feathers and brushing out old feathers that were stuck, all the while carefully avoiding any blood feathers, lest you injure him.Â
As you worked, tension seemed to seep out of Sunday, and every once in a while he breathed a sigh of relief. You wondered when heâd last been preened by anyone else; his smaller wings by his wings were taken well care of, his own handiwork you presumed, and the way he shuddered at each gentle touch of yours, each delicate caress as you dutifully worked through the plumage, was telling enough.Â
It took over an hour to completely finish, and your hands and fingers ached, but it was well worth the effort. You stretched your hands, your joints popping as you did. âAlright, youâre good to go,â you said, sliding off the examination table to once again stand in front of him.Â
âThank you,â he murmured.Â
âOf course.â You smiled at him. âJust ask if you want me to preen them again, okay?â He nodded at your words, giving you a small smile in return. âPlus, if youâd like, youâre welcome to return the favor one of these days.âÂ
His eyes widened at your offer. âYou would trust me to preen your wings?âÂ
Your brows furrowed as a slight frown made its way onto your face. âYeah. Itâs not that surprising is it? I trust you, Sunday. Weâve all done things we arenât proud of, and Iâm not going to condemn you for yours. The Express is about starting over, about not letting your past weigh you down. Instead, blaze the trail, see the stars, do what you want.âÂ
A soft smile seeped back onto your face as you spoke once more, âTrust, and be trusted in turn, by your fellow passengers. Thereâs a whole universe waiting for you, Sunday.â
#honkai star rail x reader#hsr x reader#honkai star rail x you#hsr x you#sunday x reader#hurt/comfort?#x reader#not really sure what else to tag#crazy posting this directly after that sparkle one shot but it is what it is#sorry not sorry ig
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I really like Azure Lion as a character. Yeah, you can stop following me now. /j
But no, seriously, I like how LMK has adapted this particular character, given him way more potential complexity than his novel counterpartâânot that it's a high bar, the LCR trio of JTTW are just demon warlords living in a literal human slaughterhouse.
Which is why I deeply dislike the take that "Oh, Azure manipulated SWK into fighting the JE! He's just using him like a pawn!" Like, wow, way to completely butcher two characters' personality and agency in one go.
Such takes reduce SWK to some innocent kid, when he is at most an impulsive, daring teenager who haven't met a single real obstacle so farââhe robbed the dragon kings blind, and they couldn't do a thing! He struck his name and all his monkeys' names off the Book of Life and Death! What couldn't he do?
And Azure's failing isn't him telling a toddler: "You know what? Driving your tricycle into oncoming traffic will be real fun, trust me kiddo." It's letting his friend go way over the speed limit and not telling him that he should maybe, y'know, slow down, bc he'd seen his epic driving skills, SWK's the bestest driver he ever met, surely nothing would happen!
(And also, no one in that car is sober, except Macaque.)
What I'm getting at here is, even without Azure, SWK is not gonna be content with sitting on his mountain, eating peaches forever. Hell, he sure doesn't in the novel, where his demon king brothers are little more than namedropped NPCs.
He is always gonna want more, chase after greater destinies, drown out that existential ennui and fear of death at the back of his mind with bigger and bigger power-ups and the laughters of his companions.
He told himself he would be content after getting this one thing he wanted. That he could stop at any time. But alas, like any ADHDer, he will not stop at this one exciting thing, and sooner or later, the boredom sets in, and he gets ideas and impulsively leaps into making them reality.
That is the Mind Monkey at his worst: being a whirlwind of chaos, while unknowingly enslaved to his own chaotic mind.
(In the book, this is Wu Cheng'en's reminder to the reader that, even though you shouldn't keep your heart constantly under lock and keys, Neo-Confucian style, the other extremeââletting it go completely wild, disregarding all external rules and consequences, can be equally disastrous.)
And when that car was driven through the Celestial Palace's front door, off a bridge, and straight into a ditch, it was him in the driver's seat, steering the wheels the whole time.
Everyone else in that car failed terribly as friends when they didn't voice any objections, or try to get him off the driver's seat, or realize that cheering and egging him on is an awful idea, however genuine their blind trust was.
Like, they are certainly not helping, and made the situation much, much worse. If you let your buddy drive while under influence and hand him more beers in the car, even if you are also drunk out of your mind and aren't actively trying to get him into a traffic accident, you are a shitty, irresponsible friend.
But the thing is? SWK is still responsible for the consequences of his decisions. He could have stopped, by his own volition, and no one was holding a gun to his head and forcing him to drive. He, too, wanted this.
That, to me, makes a much more interesting narrative than "Poor innocent baby SWK was puppeted into becoming the Great Sage in Heaven by shady blue cat, how awful!"
Oh, and since I'm feeling particularly salty today, I'll also ask some last questions: is SWK so weak-willed and devoid of self-agency to you that he couldn't even OWE his most famous title, the Great Sage in Heaven, 100%, without being manipulated into it?
Is SWK so immature and unintelligent to you that he is incapable of being a genuine idealist or rebel, that he cannot agree, out of the depth of his heart, that the Celestial Realm sucks balls and needs better management?
TL;DR: Havoc! Era Azure Lion isn't some cult leader brainwashing this kid into becoming his figurehead. He's the dumbass who's too busy staring at his teenage crush to care about the blaring police sirens.
Also, I had a bit of an epiphany after writing this: why am I so annoyed by people reading Azure's idealization of SWK as him intentionally manipulating and love-bombing him? Because it is a very western and modern reading.
For someone with traditional Confucian beliefs, it is perfectly normalââit is what you are supposed to feel, as a liege who has found your just and virtuous lord.
If Romance of the Three Kingdoms existed back then, he would probably describe himself as the Guan Yu to SWK's Liu Bei, however wonky the analogy was.
(Gosh, now I want a "Four Classics read each other" crossover.)
I'm not saying it is healthy or wise. But under this context, putting your lord on a pedestral was normalized, and even encouraged, as the virtue of a righteous gentleman. It was the sort of ideals romanticized culture-wide. NOT having such beliefs would probably make you look weird.
And since the Celestial Realm in the novel is a parody of Confucian hierarchy in a Daoist trenchcoat, it was really no surprise that an idealistic ex-celestial soldier would hold the same beliefs.
To torture the analogy further, the problem is that he was trying to be the Guan Yu to SWK's Liu Bei, when the Brotherhood had more in common with the Bandits of the Marsh, down to their giant downer ending.
#lego monkie kid#azure lion#lmk azure lion#lmk sun wukong#sun wukong#rant#chinese literature#journey to the west
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đđđ€đ đ đđĄđđ§đđ đ°đąđđĄ đŠđ
a/n: lowercase intended! been in an anime binge lately and am currently watching horimiya. its great honestly, it makes me feel so mushy bc me when !! but also i can kinda relate. sorry this wasnt proofread! if there are any mistakes lmk ;-;
characters: rtte!hiccup x fem!reader
tags: kinda angsty, unrequited (?) pining, intimate touches and moment (nothing nsfw)
word count: 1.5k
if you missed it, here's part one: can i be her?
the road to recovery was slow, and the mending of hiccup and i's relationship even slower. although i had forgiven him, there was an undeniable shift in how i acted towards him, whether it was intentional or not.
i had felt guilty about it, of course, but i couldn't force myself to go back to the way things were and pretend nothing had happened. even more so when i could tell that hiccup and the other riders picked up on it too.
after that incident however, something else had also changed. as subtle as it was (or tried to be), hiccup had begun doing things out of his own volition. small things like the soil in my garden being damp when i wake up, my medicine cabinets tidied and arranged how i liked it after a nap, or even my hut being spick and span, a still-hot plate of food awaiting me on my bedside table when i wake up.
it was strange to be on the receiving end of such actions. i had gotten used to helping the riders more than i had received it in return. so having hiccup do so much for me just because, induced emotions in me that i'm still quite unsure in how to handle.
today was spent patching up the riders after a grueling training session and a few accidents (mostly snotlout) and we make conversation as they tell me the new things they've discovered when they went adventuring a few days ago.
my huge cut had - thankfully - been steadily healing, the riders taking turns in making sure i wasn't doing tasks i wasn't supposed to. a few weeks since the incident and i could finally start walking around my hut with much, much caution.
taking this opportune moment of reprieve, i'm currently sat at my front porch, admiring the view of the sea and horizon off in the distance. i sipped quietly on my drink while wrapped in a blanket, the birds chirping and soft swaying of the trees my only company.
...that is until strong gusts of wind caused by a familiar midnight black dragon landed on my front yard, along with his ever-familiar rider in tow.
"[name]! i come bearing new entries to my journal, along with snacks of course."
right. ever since my injury, hiccup had made it some sort of tradition to come and talk to me about things he discovered while out on adventures or simply reading up and researching on subjects he thinks would interest me.
he reasoned it as him hoping i wouldn't feel too lonely even though the other riders visiting routinely (which i soon figured out was coordinated by hiccup thanks to a slip of the tongue from tuffnut) had given me plenty of company since then.
hiccup took his seat beside me on the porch swing, making himself comfortable. offering the other half of my blanket and he takes it with a smile, scooting closer to me.
initially, i seemingly wasn't quite receptive of this tradition he had started; lack of responses, barely any indication that i was interested in whatever he was talking about. but the dragon rider hadn't exactly let it affect him whatsoever. he continued coming regularly, and talking enough for the both of us.
"hiccup." i spoke, softly and quite mellow, but it had stopped his rant completely as he turned to look at me.
i raised my head to look back at him, my eyes slowly dragging over his features. sweat beaded faintly across his brows as he also searched my face of any indication of emotion. he gulped, the action quite apparent, "yes?"
"are you doing all this because you feel guilty?" i questioned, my voice devoid of any accusatory tone, yet it made him flinch slightly in his seat. "if you are, then you shouldn't be, because i already forgive you."
he pursed his lips and brows furrowed as he continued to keep his eyes on me, clearly displeased despite my words. i felt a warmth slowly settle on my hand, looking down to find his hand grabbing onto mine.
my heart beat quickened, a soft yet steady heat creeping up onto my cheeks. for a moment, it had felt like we were suspended in time, the universe letting us have this moment that we've needed.
"even if you have forgiven me," he paused, his body turning to me and gripping my hand tighter, "i can't." he whispered, a soft tremble in his voice as i watched his eyes gloss over.
"i'm sorry. i'm so sorry." he almost weeps, his voice crackly and tears turning his eyes glossy. "i shouldn't have talked to you like that. been so - so caught up in my emotion that i just had zero regard for how you were feeling to how i was saying it." his voice shakes slightly, and my heart crumpled at the emotion.
gently setting aside my drink, i reached to hold his hands with both of mine, softly rubbing my thumb along the natural contours of the back of it. my throat felt tight, that same burning feeling in my eyes coming back, but i steeled myself and my voice to be able to say what i needed to.
"hiccup.. i understand, i really do." my voice had felt so fragile, like glass, about to break if more pressure is applied to it. "in the time i've spent by myself these past few weeks, i've come to a certain understanding and acceptance to the situation. and it's okay," i squeezed his hands, "i'm okay."
he subtly shakes his head no, one of his hands breaking free from mine and drifting to my wounded abdomen, past the hem and underneath my shirt. hiccup was quiet but his touch spoke more than his words tried to convey. my breath hitched at the action as he continued with his ministrations, yet his expression more spaced-out. i'm not sure what it was exactly, but i could tell he was heavily contemplating something in his head.
despite the gauze barrier, i could feel the heat of him emanating through it. it allowed that familiar warmth to bloom in my chest once again, the same warmth that only he seems to be the cause of. it had felt entirely too intimate to consider it as something friends do which only raised so many more questions and confusion in my head.
this wasn't normal for friends, right? is this something he normally does with the others?
i gulped down the lump in my throat, the thought of him doing the same thing to a certain blonde-haired viking setting an uncomfortable feeling in my gut.
before i could voice out any of my thoughts however, my eyes widened and cheeks warmed considerably once i felt his touch travel to my cheek. it was soft, almost feather-like, and comforting. his eyes glowed beautifully, the orange sunset reflecting onto his green eyes, effectively enchanting me with how beautiful it looked.
he kept his eyes on me, seemingly waiting on a sign on how i felt about the current predicament. seeing no protests from me, he continued on, now essentially cupping my face with both of his hands, his piercing eyes never leaving my face, flitting between my eyes and lips.
"hiccup..."
"hiccup!" a familiar voice cut through the silence and the trees, dispelling the intimate moment in an instant. i hurriedly moved away from his clutches, picking up my forgotten drink, as hiccup nervously fixes his hair and clothes.
astrid appears on the path in front of my hut, lax features and usual demeanor indicating that she didn't see whatever just happened between hiccup and i. "there you are. figured you would be here." she spoke, walking closer towards my porch.
hiccup laughed, notably a little more breathless than when he normally is, yet astrid doesn't bat an eye or pick up on it. admittedly, i spaced out as she rambled on, the scene before still playing over and over in my head.
hiccup's soft touches was still practically branded onto my skin, with how i could still feel the heat of his touch despite him being on the other side of the seat we were on. his actions had only made me more confused, swirling thoughts trying to reason why he did what he did yet none of them made sense.
what was that? was he...
i shook away the thoughts as i come back to consciousness back in time. "[name], i hope you don't mind that i'll be taking this guy with me for a little bit. i need his help on a few things regarding training." she spoke.
i nodded, plastering a small smile on my face but i turn to look at hiccup, silently torn on wanting him to go or letting him leave. his gaze was on me, searching my face but perhaps my features weren't translating my desire well, because he turns to astrid and smiles, "we can go, we were just finishing up anyways."
my heart cracks just a tiny bit, that same feeling that i felt a few weeks ago leaking through the cracks of my resolve little by little. but i force the smile back on my face, standing up to bring my drink back inside, the atmosphere now leaving a bad taste in my mouth.
they gather their things and leave side-by-side, and i also turn and huddle back into my hut, missing the longing look hiccup held to my disappearing figure.
DO NOT REPOST MY CONTENT ANYWHERE! i would love to hear any and all thoughts. mwah! have a great day!
quick access to my library.
#Ë°âą*ââ· books#ËË°âą*ââ· everything nice#hiccup x you#hiccuphaddock#httyd angst#httyd#hiccup x reader#finally this is out of my drafts#so sorry for the long wait ;-;#i've been very busy#mwa#hehe
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Given that the winter clock dialogue shows Flowey on the surface living with Frisk and their found family (unsure of actual living arrangements but assuming he lives with Frisk and Toriel), how do you think a REAL "yes, I used to be Asriel" conversation would come about?
The winter dialogue does have Toriel acknowledge him as "Asriel", but she was black-out drunk at the time so her thought process/memory in this case is debatable.
She has at least noticed key similarities between Asriel and Flowey, but even if she knows the truth there's nothing to suggest she's brought it up while sober.
I'm more interested in the prospect of a thoughtful conversation between the two after the fact. It seems kind of inevitable if Flowey is spending the rest of his life on the surface, but how would it go?
Would an uncomfortable Flowey have to deal with an emotional reunion? Would Toriel have a better understanding of his boundaries due to more recent shared experiences? How shocked would she be that a part of her first ever child was with her once again?
I'm absolutely positive that she would share custody with Asgore after it's out in the open, even if she isn't completely comfortable with it. Not sure how Sans would feel about things since it's pretty clear he's killed before, but a judge can't really do their job without the whole truth. Maybe he'd be willing to hear him out?
not sure where you're getting the "they're co-living and it's canon" from, flowey isn't shown to be living with toriel, neither is frisk mentioned in any of the dialogues. I'm assuming the implication here is that frisk IS the reader, and that ambiguity allows for both the "i want to stay with you" and "i have places to go" endings. we know flowey's not secluded to the RUINs anymore as was his original plan, and we know he's kept in contact with papyrus, who's trying to introduce him to the others (although unsuccessfully so far), but nothing more than that.
as for toriel, I don't think her calling him asriel was either intentional or rational. I think it was a subconscious expression of the ""true"" reason she's holed herself up in the RUINs trying to save the fallen humans. if a froggit happened to hop by at that moment, she would've done the same to it.
flowey/asriel reveal, huh? hm... let's see. to be honest, i don't think flowey would ever come clean about either his identity or his crimes to anyone else, especially not his old family. not of his own volition, that is. i could see some kind of indiscretion happening that causes him to reveal it on accident, but he would bolt it out of there as soon as he realized his cover was blown. he doesn't like confronting his issues! subsequent conversation attempts with him would be extremely emotionally immature and hard to get through, as the situation would temporarily undo some of his progress after leaving the underground as a trauma response. toriel... wouldn't be doing well either. super messy situation. no one is happy with this
the custody thing is really funny to me. mostly because i find the idea of trying to explain to a lawyer that you need to amend your divorce settlement bc you didn't know you had an undead son absolutely hilarious. but also because flowey would go out of his way to contradict it and do whatever he wants out of spite
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turns out i have to make an unnecessarily wordy thoughtspost about doombox too bc there is nothing about this character that isn't fucking ridiculous and also really funny and i'm kind of really obsessed with all of it. ordinarily i would just start firing but in this case I need to just. paste his bio and then go through it step by step because every phrase here is absurd when looking at how he's handled along with the other characters and the world as a whole. here we go
first sidenote: i should also add 'nonsensical' to the list of descriptors up there, because this is a fighting game and no doubt has the typical Bad Fighting Game Writing at play that doesn't really hold up when put under scrutiny as i'm about to, but understand that this is something i've come to love about the genre and its typically batshit lore, and it further enhances the experience for me. it's all utter nonsense and its my favorite shit ever.
the biggest thing to me that makes his entire shtick ridiculous is that he was explicitly made to be a weapon. like his express purpose is destruction and/or killing people, and he certainly has the disposition to be doing that. except that he is not doing that. he's out there playing Ball Game, evidently of his own volition.
i feel it is also important to highlight that he was not originally or intentionally a boombox; he just kinda lives in there. his own bio frames it as happenstance, but sonata's dlc skin lore** implies he isn't permanently stuck in there and can kinda just hop out and take control of whatever he wants whenever he wants. there is an entire goddamn tank just sitting there in the background of one of these stages. he is a weapon. there is heavy artillery readily available to him that he could be commanding if he wanted to, but he's not doing that either. he is still a boombox. i think he likes it in there. *there's an argument to be made that maybe he's not powerful enough to control something that large, or maybe just that switching hosts is really tiring or risky. im just saying though there's like a bajillion host devices better suited for A Fucking Weapon than a boombox, but he seems really committed to this for some reason. while im here btw it's fucking terrifying that he apparently can possess thing that are Not tech as well **as a side note from that the specific mention of her boomhammer is interesting. i don't think it's an intentional implication but i enjoy the idea he has an affinity for sound-based devices; i like to think the boombox left an impression on him with its being the initial thing he possessed and got used to
and then there is the berserking. the 'rampaging', as it is otherwise called. not exactly strange on its own given his temperament and designation, but strange for the way it's characterized as only a tendency. it's only that he's prone to rampaging. he rampages often, but not all the time. just often! what is he doing he is not rampaging? getting a custom trimmed jacket with his own logo emblazoned on it? like a nerd? and on the flipside, what exactly do these rampages even entail? because it's apparently not anything destructive or disruptive enough for anyone to care about stopping him under normal circumstances.
like how are you a giant angry "not exactly stable" weapon of a guy and everyone's like 'yeah that's fine. that's our doombox!' toxic's specific wording regarding his getting unfucked postgame is "back to his old raging self", which implies to me there's almost a certain fondness, or at least amusement, at his being like this. i know one of the core themes of lethal league is letting these oddball misfit dudes do their thing and freely be who they are, but like. is doombox sincerely just not a threat for that? like really? dice's interactions also sort of imply that his actually trying to kill someone is really out of the ordinary for him so truly like. db my man what ARE you doing out there. * re: toxic and dice's talking about him; i do also find it amusing that one of his defining traits is just being pissed off all the time. again, not surprising given his purpose/designation as a weapon, but funny in that it's like. how he's KNOWN; in the sense that it is immediately noticeable and a cause for concern for other characters to see he is Not angry. fuckin social barometer of a guy. local angry guy isn't angry, something's wrong.
the "reasons for playing in the league unknown" bit also strikes me as a little odd even though it REALLY shouldn't. i'm like 97% sure it's just written like that to make him seems mysterious and unpredictable and dangerous, but it's a weird thing to call attention to when you consider that...less than half of the other characters' reasons are known? raptor is there trying to get info on his dad, that one's well out there. dust & ashes i think have some kind of implied reason for being there as well but it of course isn't elaborated on, and grid is like trying to impress "the youth" and establish a profile or something. nitro seems like he might not actually be IN the league as an official competitor? it's just helpful for him to know how to ball for the situations he gets into with his investigations. everybody else's "reason" pretty much seems like they're just out there to have fun. and toxic says as much in the story mode intro! the game was developed for people to escape the monotonies of shine city! so to imply doombox has a separate, non-recreational reason for being here is weird. the easiest read on it for me is just that he was drawn to it cause it's intense and destructive but at the same time.... if all he wants is an excuse to wreck shit....why are you competing in a structured sports game with rules and shit my dude. you are a weapon. just go attack people. except that we've established that he doesnt really do that. so. once again. what IS he doing out here
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aside from the bio though, there's of course random little tidbits of characterization throughout the game itself and they are all also likewise ridiculous.
he refers to himself in third person, which is always an amusing choice for a character in general. it carries with it a certain sense of ego, an awareness of and and pride in one's presence and gravitas. this was mostly just surprising to me bc before i started looking at everything, i'd assumed he was more or less mindless and, yknow, robotic; without much personality/reason for being there beyond being the Biggest Baddest Best At Ball Game Guy doombox is already very imposing, so this is frankly a well-earned sense of pride for him to have.....but it still doubles back to being funny again because, as i've established above, he could stand to be a hell of a lot scarier! but he doesn't seem to notice or care that there are many readily-available options for becoming more powerful and/or establishing himself as unquestionable top dog. so instead he is a boombox. third-person is also often used for characters who are a little dumb, and i think this applies to doombox as well. he is a weapon, and clearly a brute-force-over-precision type of weapon at that, he doesnt need smarts. i think this is also sort of hinted at with his voice lines; where the other characters have some kind of snarky phrase or one-liner for their kill/score voice line, doombox just goes "bye-bye". Which is still appropriately Disrespectful, but it's also very, uh... simple. again i just think there are... more imposing things a guy like him could be saying there, but i guess he hasn't got anything more than fucking. bye-bye.
anyways the ego thing i think is well-echoed by his stupid fucking jacket. none of the other characters have their logo as part of their design and i'm pretty sure the rest of the symbols are just game abstractions and don't exist in-universe, but like. doombox is just going around wearing a jersey with his own damn face on it. ok. to be clear i love his jacket but it is literally so silly for him to have that. imagine being the guy having to custom-fit a fucking boombox. did db pay for it? how? we're getting into unproductive territory here but you could ask a million questions about that jacket and they all have hysterical implications. while im on the topic of designs i'd also like to say that while i don't count any of the other blaze redesigns as "canon" like actual events the characters went through between games [like raptor in particular would have already had to have the stitches since that's his backstory, it's just they weren't a design point before], doombox is in a weird spot since the first game's design for him was very specifically referencing its HUD in a meta way for his flavor and that was pretty much the entire extent of his flavor; while in blaze he and the HUD are very much separate distinct things with their own flavor. there's more to talk about here later but as it pertains to design what im saying is i think he just went out and found a better and cooler boombox to be in between games. and also got a funny jacket. *actually i have no idea if there's even a Timeline here. the gut vibe i had been running on was that blaze happens a couple years after the original, but looking at it now that doesn't seem right. does blaze Replace the timeline of the first game? are there even Events in the first game to count as a timeline? do they run concurrently?
alright anyway the last point here is the 3rd-person thing is even moreso interesting to me though bc i was under the assumption that 'doombox' was something akin to a codename he was given when other people saw this big fucking Thang rampaging through the streets. but seeing as 1. he's definitely aware of it, and 2. not even the damn scientists who made him knew he was in a boombox [as implied in his dlc skin lore], i'm led to believe he came up with the name himself. the fucking tape in his cassette player does just say 'doom' on it so i am choosing to believe that's either where he got the name, or that he put that on there himself.
MOVING on, another really good thing is that he does this
i just think it's funny he's continuing to use the thing as an actual boombox; i feel like that isn't something he necessarily Has to do. obviously he's susceptible to certain quirks and limitations of being a boombox re: mind control tape, but i don't think that means he has to play out its every function. i think he's doing that on purpose and i am filing it under "he likes it in there". hes listening to his jams.
also on a similar note,
this is also not important and i realize it's mostly just a quirky videogamey way to get around saying the robot kinda character is "asleep", but i do enjoy the implication that shine city's biggest terror is like out there running on 4 D-cells.
also i'm making this guy out to be a city street menace, and the vibe i had assumed for him before was like, a random encounter in the back alleys that you super do not want to run into; but his associated stage/hangout seems to be the desert/scrapyard? which i don't really have anything interesting to say to that, but it's definitely a different vibe for his character if he typically hangs out in more desolate areas.
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i think maybe the most baffling thing doombox has going on is the apparent "rivalry" with dice. this is also bizzare from dice's side of things. what the fuck does it even mean to be "rivals" with doombox? what are they competing for? what kind of things does dice get up to that doombox would even give a shit about in the first place, let alone to be considered a rival in? i mean, like, the league, probably, but why dice specifically, out of everyone? would doombox's league rival not just be whoever's the [second] strongest there? i believe dice when he says they're evenly-matched, but there isn't really anything that implies dice is of particularly high prestige within the league so it feels like he shouldn't hold much interest as a target. to be fair dice doesn't seem like the type that would care about prestige, but again, if he's not out there flaunting his shit or trying to claim he's the best or whatever, why does db care? this would be a lot easier to understand if it was a one-sided thing on doombox's part like okay maybe dice pissed him off one day and he's still mad about it. whatever. that's the vibe they go for in story mode, but then there's dice's dlc skin description, which seems to run entirely counter to that and has dice as the aggressor:
when deprived of his usual sense and restraint, dice's first thought is I Gotta Go Fuckin Kill Doombox? even if he's over it under normal circumstances, it's clear both of them have some deeper-rooted beef in this exchange. there is yet another layer to this in that doombox is, weirdly enough, not really shown to be the kind of guy that's interested in revenge. again, going back to his own dlc description, he- and i quote- "couldn't care less" about the guys who made him capturing him and chaining him up. his only interest there is breaking out and getting back to doing his thing. if you want to be really generous, you could also read this vibe from the story mode epilogue: doombox was not the one hunting down the safety league, that was nitro. doombox was simply, as stated before "back to his old raging self". both of these to say, he simply does not seem to give a shit about people who have directly wronged him and only wants to Do His Thing. so. once again. what the fuck is going on with dice that they both have lasting beef here. i truly cannot fathom what either of them did to be so mad specifically at eachother. this rivalry is something they reference a LOT too like it's a big deal in-universe, or something otherwise really important to portray. like
lore so strong you gotta put it on an achievement!!!!! really!!!!! and there are no details whatsoever about this????? * while i'm here i'd just like to say have more questions about dice than fucking anything else in this game. sadly there's practically nothing to intuit from the game about any of his situations so i don't have much for coherent thoughts to post on him, but my god. what the fuck, dice. this rivalry is arguably the single strangest thing doombox has going on but it doesn't even break top 5 weird things about dice.
anyways, the final section and MOST interesting thing to me in all this is that, coming out of the first game, i was really under the impression that doombox is just the arbitrary final boss monster you gotta kill; no real purpose or personality his own to speak of, and most importantly just synonymous with the game itself and its aesthetics re: mirroring the HUD design. he certainly still holds the role of big scary final boss monster in blaze too, but blaze 1. has him much more fleshed-out as his own Guy, and more importantly, 2. doesn't really consider him a Problem like your typical big angry final boss monster. or at least not moreso than anything else going on in the game. he's not a threat to be eliminated, he's respected as a character and as a competitor in the league; and more than that he just seems to be... liked? as in, liked by other people in-universe? and he's liked enough that they'll readily help him out so he can keep doing his thing? i do think latch fixed him up postgame mostly bc he felt bad about being the one responsible for getting db brainwashed in the first place but like. the game could have just as easily gone "and then doombox was defeated yay" and left it at that. instead, they seem to have a vested interest in keeping him around. most transparently this is likely just a "we can't get rid of any of the playable characters or else story mode would be noncanon", BUT the point of this post is trying to read cohesive narrative sense into places there probably isn't any, and my read here is that doombox is a sort of inadvertent guardian of the league. for 1, he does still very much embody a lot of what the game [both The Videogame and the league itself] is about, but more importantly i think his presence is just really good at keeping a lot of the more minor threats at bay. if you try to fuck with the league, you will eventually be squaring off with doombox, most likely having freshly pissed him off in the process, and i can't imagine that goes well for who or whatever is in that situation. there's probably not much that wants to stand up to him by himself, and there's even less that can challenge the league as a whole unit; he's really just a good guy to have on your side like in general when you are running an illegal sports operation. i think at Worst toxic might see him as the league's funny little mascot but realistically i think she has more respect for him than that. either way i don't think he's going to care and it doesn't affect him much regardless. for this, doombox simply gets to keep doing his thing, whatever the fuck that may be. there are certainly still forces beyond his control at play here [as demonstrated in story mode by the safety league], and when these come into play, the league in turn looks out for him and keeps him on top of his game. i'm not sure if he has the, uh.... kind of cognitive ability that he could be grateful for this, but if nothing else, we know he seems to enjoy playing in the league, so he probably at least recognizes that he's not going to meet a lot of resistance in it and/or that it's a good environment to keep doing as he pleases. i don't mean for this all to sound so transactional, but it's hard to say whether he has much charisma in-universe for people to want him around for more "legitimate" reasons. likewise, there's also still a lot up in the air on how like... sapient doombox actually is. whether he can have complex motivations about anything or if he has some concept of "having friends" or if he can experience emotions besides rage; i tend to lean to "no" on those because i am really trying my damndest not to woobify this guy, but ultimately i don't think it matters much; in the end, he and the league are still mutually beneficial for eachother, and they still enjoy having the other around. and i think that's pretty cool :)
#lethal league blaze#lethal league#doombox#babygirl i can write misplaced analysis about anythinggggg#also ik im making this post in 2024 but to be clear i've been playing this series since 2016#i never talk about it much but it has always held a special place 4 me.#i come back to it briefly like semi-anually. it just happened to REALLY grab me this time around for whatever reason#and i got really obsessed w doombox. as it goes i suppose#speaking of which the final word count for this one is.... apparently a little over 3k this time. oh my god.#usually these character/game writeup things are like half that length. look i just think hes neat#as my friend said: ''He seems like he should be so self-explanatory but he just isn't''#and ''We learn just enough about Doombox to know we don't know fucking anything about Doombox''#boy id like to know. the things id do for literally any kind of external loredump for this game. auuggghhh
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Hi, hello, hi. I have a question that was triggered by that beautiful prom gif set you just reblogged. And since I still, months later, have a post from you stuck in my head- The Brian Kinney one about his education and how he became The Brian Kinney- I canât help but to ask you. The pause!!! What do you think wouldâve happened between Britin and with Brian after prom had the bashing not happened? I mean Brian got in the car and was all smiley and looking in the mirror to watch Justin!! And the PAUSE! And now I am going through a million feelings because of the what ifs.
Hello dear sweet anon! Thank you for your patience while I gave this question some thought.
First off, let us acknowledge and thank @sophsun1 for this incredible gifset that captures THEE MOMENT
Everyone go reblog it and show it some love.
So I think the first question here is why did Brian show up at prom? I think he showed up to make Justin happy. Which is not something Brian is known for, right? But here is this kid who has "snuck in under the wire" (I know that's S2 but it's no less true here) and Brian wants to do something to make him happy. Just purely for his happiness. And it will make Brian happy - you pointed out he's all smiley - and isn't that the kicker? He found someone that making him happy makes Brian happy. Not Justin makes Brian happy (little nod to my beloved OFMD, RIP), but making Justin happy makes Brian happy. I think that's important.
I think what Brian is communicating here (and, importantly, Justin is understanding) is those three words that Justin spent later seasons wanting so badly.
So I think Justin would have felt more reassured in Brian's love than he did in S2. I think he always wanted to feel like his place was with Brian and of Brian's own volition. I know Brian says during their negotiation about "coming home to you" but I think that gets lost in Brian's tugging to keep some of his freedoms.
I think Brian would be less trigger shy about doing romantic gestures for Justin after prom. I think prom proved to Brian his worst fears - if you make yourself vulnerable and admit to loving someone, it will only hurt you (and what's the best way to hurt Brian? Hurting Justin).
I think Justin would have been more confident about his place in Brian's life both feeling like he was truly wanted there (not just there because he got bashed) and because he had this irrefutable proof of Brian's feelings. Yes, he's heard about the romantic dance and the kiss from Daphne but she wasn't by the Jeep and I don't know if she would have picked up on the significance of The Pause.
Let's talk about that, actually. When has Brian ever paused? When has he ever, in a sexual context, sought someone's eyes before kissing them? (Not to imply that Brian didn't get consent.) Never. He is not the type of guy to pause. He barrels forward. I don't think the pause is insecurity or even about consent, it's "we're on the same page here, right? okay? All those things you said that I felt, you were right. Here I am, baring myself before you you, more naked than being naked (bc lbr naked is not vulnerability to Brian... it wouldn't be to me if I looked like Gale either), showing you my soul. I am trusting you."
The reason this took so long to answer is that I'm completely torn about whether there would have been a break up. Or at least the Ethan break up. Maybe the break up would have looked more like a combination of S2 and S5 break ups. But the other thing? I don't think they would have reunited. I think the bashing is something that ties them together, in a sense. I think without it, with everything more on the surface, without the effects of PTSD on Justin's abilities and his need for Brian's care (and Brian's care bonding him to Justin), Justin would have thought "this is all there is, I've gotten everything I can from him and I need more." But I could be wrong, maybe there would have been zero drama. Justin would have gotten what he needed from Brian the night of prom and they would have lived happily ever after.
This is certainly a fic waiting to be written. I've read fics where the bashing doesn't happen or it's less severe but that's because other circumstances are different. What would happen if canon is canon but the one divergence is the bashing doesn't happen?
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hello remuria professor đ«Ą i come here with a question that has been bothering me for far too long: if egeria was the mother of all, gentlest kindest most lover-of-life goddess, how could she let her most faithful follower (erinnyes) slaughter the vishaps and dragons? i âgetâ the anger towards the other humans, but if they (vishaps) were the original inhabitants of those lands, why were they also the âenemiesâ? đ€
well, unless u know some source I have missed⊠she didnât, actually we can infer from the text that exact opposite has happened.
First, Egeria had been sealed by the Goblet of primordial sea and therefore out of commission for an indefinite period of time up until after Remuria had sank and Celestiaâby their own volitionâdecided to free her and make her the hydro archon. At some point this goblet was under the possession of Vishap King Scylla, whoâs implied to be the Hydro Sovereignâprevious heart of the primordial sea before Egeria herselfâand at another point he and Remus were friends enough that Scylla granted him this goblet which he used to build Remuria. So as far as Erinnyes was concerned, Scylla was a friend of Remus and therefore an enemy and a threat to the Lochfolk and Egeriaâs rule, one that she needed to get past to attain the goblet and free Egeria.
In actuality, Remus went crazy because of the prophecy and in his attempts to free the Fontainians of this curse he did a lot of cruelty that turned Scylla against him and made the dragon an enemy of Remuria with the intent to destroy it
In Chanson dâErinnyes (take anything in this book with a few grains of salt bc Erinnyes literature is Genshinâs equivalent of the Arthurian cycle which gets ever so confusing with its multiple sources and the book follows the fictionalized version of the story from Spledor of Tranquil Watersâs description rather than the real one) the knight herself vows to âdestroy the white dragonâ but we donât know if this was before or after Scylla decided to betray Remus. It was this intention to go against Remus and Celestia itself that made Erinnyes rally the royals of âbarbaric landsâ to her side. Keep in mind any territory in Fontaine that was not taken in Remus and Boethiusâ conquest were considered to be âbarbariansâ. The âbarbariansâ were often described as bloodthirsty and blinded by violence and revengeâthis is direct implication to Erinnyes bc she was the barbarian blinded by her vengeance for what Remus did to her tribe
now thereâs a gap in information that for some reason Remuria records loooove to skim past so we donât have a lot of information that is concrete?
The next thing we know is that Hydro Dragon Scylla attacked Remuria with his army of vishaps and an army of barbarians he recruited. Now where did this army of âbarbariansâ come from? Thereâs no other alternative besides Erinnyes, because thatâs what she had been doing for the previous years. So we can infer that at some point, Scylla and Erinnyes joined forces to invade Remuria (which makes a lot more sense bc Egeria herself was very empathetic towards dragons) but we have yet to get any text about how they reached this agreement. We can take a wild guess, bc usually âresolving a conflict peacefullyâ and âgaining an allyâ is Erinnyes language for beating the shit out of someone until they yield and come to your side
TL;DR from the implied history it would seem Erinnyesâ relationship with Vishaps started as âa friend of my enemy is my enemyâ and ended with âan enemy of my enemy is my friendâ but Iâm not sure about her actually slaughtering vishaps
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Wrote a huge post about L.L. and snowgrave but fucking lost it đđ anyway let me try again.
Where do I fucking start anymore. God. Wicked.
Okay first I'll start by bringing up again L.L. would not interfere at ALL in this route
Themathically works as a reinforcement of Your Choices Don't Matter tbh
But it's also a matter of like... They count on Kris calling them to jump to action. In a normal route they only stop when Spamton by own volition bc Huge Moment for them, but now that is gone
Not to mention ever since the start the legend spoke of 3 heroes so they're just tagging along to kill time
Speaking of Spamton: their relationship would be quite different honestly
Not immensely different, they're still Spamton and L.L., but Spammy is way meaner and more focused on his goals here
I don't think he'd be mean to L.L. tho but I think well... They'd be one of their goals, y'know? Feel like he'd be a tad bit possessive
But L.L. wouldn't mind just tagging along trying to turn blind eye to whatever fucked up shit was happening
Feeling the hairs on their neck raise as they step into the castle thinking Hey What About Queen? seeing shit go down but... Refusing to do anything, because they don't want to steal the spotlight from the heroes
We spoke about reinforced thematics then that doubles down with the way the lightners undermine the lives of the darkners LOL
Btw Spamton would definitely mention to them like ... Sort of imply Kris and Noelle are out killing but L.L. would choose not to understand Spammy's cryptic language bc lol No Way Kris would do dat . . .
Obviously the Cope would become less and less useful as time went by tho
Starting by Berdly not waking up but then when they go back to castle town where they'd be unable to ignore the Rotten Ass vibe... Place so cold, everyone is gone...
Hell, even the situation with Spamton... Because he dies but L.L. wouldn't have been present during that fight so they'd have to like... Believe he's ok.
Despite knowing he's not. But they didn't want to believe Kris killed him. Bc they knew what the fountain meant to him and they knew what Kris had to do so there was only one way out but they didn't want to believe it
They might've even asked Kris about it like Haha Kris have you seen that puppet? With the long nose? <:] <- they wouldn't know the two met
Returning to their normal life after that tho... It'd be hard.
Seam would probably see the distress growing on their face along with the rotten vibe and be like Hey are you ok? and L.L. would be just like. Losing it.
Just overwhelmed so they'll ignore it đ
Leaving them on a spot where they can't stay nor leave the DW bc either will place will give them anxiety like Ghhrhthgrg.
Honestly can't wait to see how the future chapters develop and how they go about Snowgrave tbh tbh...
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Water Fights with the OM Bros
itâs 90 degrees outside at my place and you know what that means!!! water fight headcanons because I refuse to go outside in the heat in real life asdhgskjdgks
once again iâm only doing the brothers bc i do not trust myself with the dateables just yet lmao
Lucifer:
Literally only agrees to join because youâre so excited about it.
â...If it makes you happy, MC,â are his exact words. Simp.
You did agree to make the game have no points though, to keep things from getting competitive. Both at the advice of Lucifer and because you knew he would not join if there was any chance he could lose. (Also because Satan is a menace but weâll get to that later.)
When all the brothers are gathered he suggests everyone pairs up into teams.Â
âYouâre only saying that so you can cozy with M-â Asmo tries to say before being sprayed in the face with water.
âMy hair!â âOh, look at that. I suppose the game has started,â Lucifer hides his water gun behind his legs, but he canât hide the shit eating grin on his face.
He takes your hand with a âCome along, MC,â and leads you away as everyone splits up.
You two make a surprisingly good team for this sort of thing! He knows the gardens well and also knows where each of his brothers is likely to go. You are quite skilled water water guns and balloons. Heâs basically the brains and youâre the brawn.Â
He snatches a few kisses now and then when you look back at him excitedly after smacking one of his brothers with a balloon. Youâre just so cute!
When everyone is all tuckered out and goes off to shower and whatever, Lucifer hangs back with you to thank you for organizing everything. With a kiss to the back of your hand, he says, âIâll admit, I was...skeptical, at first. But, as usual, you brought my brothers together in a way I havenât seen in a long while. Thank you, MC.âÂ
Mammon:
âIâm MCâs first man, so I get to team with them!â âYouâre also literally my boyfriend, but okay hun.â Cue Mammon blushing beet red at the nickname and muttering at you not to call him that in front of his brothers. (He doesnât mean it; he loves that they know youâre his and vice versa.)
Strategically, the two of you are the absolute worst. But thatâs because youâre both just there to have fun!
And have fun you do! You actually get in quite a few fun chases with Levi! Heâs probably the most into the water fight out of everyone, the three of you are just running around the gardens pelting each other with balloons. Itâs super cute.
Mammon is absolutely the type to yell âIâll avenge you, MC!â every single time you get sprayed.Â
Eventually, you and Mammon follow Leviâs advice and start hiding in places to catch some of the other brothers by surprise. Which would be fine if Mammon didnât blush super hard and start grumbling because of how close together you were when kneeling behind the garden wall.
You roll your eyes and surge forward to kiss him. Heâs so shocked he has no idea what to do with his hands at first. But, after a second of pause, his water gun falls to the ground with a clatter and he wraps his arms around you.
âGet a room,â Is all the two of you hear before Belphie dumps a whole ass bucket of water on your heads. Mammon growls and jumps up to get the youngest before Beel can scoop him up, but you grab his hand and stop him.Â
Youâre laughing super hard, and the sun is shining on your hair. You almost look like you have a halo...Mammon gives up the chase before it even starts because his MC is simply ethereal.Â
âMammon!â You smile brilliantly at him when you finally stop laughing. âI kissed you to keep you quiet! And then you managed to make even more noise!âÂ
He just hugs you then so you canât see his blushing face. Stupid lovely human making fun of him. (He likes it, though.)
Leviathan:
This boy is literally the MOST excited when you tell him your idea. He was in on it from the very start.
He actually helped you get all the supplies! He opens his Akuzon account right away and starts showing you what water guns would be best and picking out huge packs of balloons made specifically for being water grenades. (Definitely had looked all this stuff up before in case he found a LARPing buddy.)
You ask him how much Grimm all this stuff will cost and he tells you not to worry. âIâll cover it!â âBut, Levi-â He interrupts you with big blush on his face.Â
âL-Listen MC. Youâre m-my Henry! And I know this will be fun, s-so...Iâll cover it.â You leap forward and give him a hug, triggering a surprised but equally happy screech.
Honestly he is so excited you proposed an idea like that of your own volition. Like...it just makes him feel like all the games and stuff he finds fun truly donât bother you. You havenât been lying; you genuinely are interested in the same things as him. It makes him feel so warm.
When everyone is still arriving, you grab one of your water guns and do that cool spinny thing. You know the thing. The cowboy gun spin. Youâre like, âHey Levi! Check this out!âÂ
BAM. Boy is OUT. So red his face is steaming. Thatâs the hottest thing he has ever seen in his entire damn life. What the fuck, MC. He is basically frozen on the spot out of sheer overwhelmed-ness as how hot that was. You have to drag him away when the water fight starts. Totally worth staying up all night figuring out how to do the spin trick with a water gun.
Once the action gets going, you two are unstoppable. No one escapes the fight unscathed thanks to yâall. All those late night Call of Duty sessions trained you for this!!
Your favorite tactic is definitely camping, though. You and Levi would pick a spot and hide there, waiting for one of his brothers to come by, and then...ATTACK!
If it actually were a competition, you two wouldâve won by a landslide. But honestly, Levi didnât really keep track. He was having too much fun watching you. You were so mesmerizing when you were in the zone and so gorgeous when laughing as you gave him victory high fives after a successful ambush.Â
You let him take a picture of you posing all tough with your water gun and he makes it his DDD background immediately. And his lockscreen so you can protect his DDD from intruders.
Satan:
THIS ASSHOLE. THIS MAN IS THE REASON YOU MADE SURE THERE WAS NO COMPETITION.
If there was any sense of competition, Satan wouldâve gone absolutely out of his mind to beat Lucifer. He would make sure to destroy that manâs dignity as thoroughly as possible.
So, for the sake of both him and the eldest brother, no points. No contest. He grumbles about it, but, much like said eldest brother, he still joins because he sees how happy the idea of a family water fight makes you.
 Satan treats is almost as seriously as Levi does. EVEN THOUGH YOU MADE SURE IT WASNâT A COMPETITION, HE DAMN SURE STILL ACTS LIKE IT IS. UGH.
Literally pulls a map of the House of Lamentationâs gardens out of his back pocket??? And puts it on the side of the fountain?? And starts planning maneuvers on it with you??? He pulls a pen out of his SWIM TRUNK POCKETS to use to point with and emphasize his points. You just blink at him. This is your mans. Good lord.
Considering his expert knowledge of the layout of the entire surrounding area of HoL from that map, he actually knows of some secret passages the other brothers donât even consider. He takes you to them so you can use them to spy on what Luciferâs the other brothersâ strategies are.
Itâs only once youâre creeping around the tunnels that he realizes something: none of his brothers know where you are. They canât bother you...time to make out.
Grabs your attention with a quiet, âMCâ and gives you a smooch. Soon enough he is backing you up against the wall. A water balloon you have tied to your belt pops against the rough brick, interrupting the two of you.
Satan disregards it and move to kiss you again, but you let out a gasp. Heâs worried for you for a moment: did you scrape yourself? But when you turn to look at him, thereâs a mischievous glint in your eye that he loves to see.Â
âMy water broke!â You whisper-exclaim dramatically, covering your mouth in fake shock. Satan has to nuzzle his face in your neck to avoid laughing and filling the tunnel with the echo that would alert his brothers. The two of you basically just canoodle in the passages until the water fight is over LMAO
Asmodeus:
Pretty much just to show off how good he looks in a bathing suit to you and anyone else who happens to be lucky enough to witness his glory.
Heâs not the best at water fights and ends up using you as a human shield sometimes adjgfkjshf
âAsmo! Stop hiding behind me!â âI am not letting Lucifer mess up my hair twice in one day, darling!â
He comments quite often on how hot you look. Both in your bathing suit and also when in the zone looking for victims to douse in watery fury. You look like an action hero, MC! Have you ever thought about becoming the next Bond? Asmo could definitely pull some hypnotic strings.~
Every time you successfully pull him out of the way of an oncoming water balloon or block a blast of water from hitting, he totally melts. He presses his back to your chest, swooning against you and batting his eyelashes.
âOh, MC, my hero! My dashing knight in shining armor!â You scoff, but think itâs super cute. You even play into it sometimes and pick him up bridal style.
âThe king is looking for you, my prince,â you say once as you lift him, and he actually blushes. Asmodeus, avatar of lust, blushes at a silly pet name. He was not expecting you to get so into the role!!! He loves it, though.
For the rest of the water fight the two of you are basically roleplaying a royal and his knight bodyguard. It is stupidly fun and the both of you have an absolute blast.
âOh, MC, my darling knight! I have amazing news!â Asmo says after the fight ends. Youâre drying his hair off with a towel. âYes, my liege?âÂ
âIn exchange for your wonderful and dutiful protection, you have been given permission by the crown to court me! Isnât that wonderful?â He smiles and you throw your head back in a laugh. You lean down and give him a nice, long kiss on the lips before pulling away. âThat is absolutely splendid, your highness.â
Beelzebub:
He loves the idea because itâll get his whole family together and he knows it. He has to carry Belphie out there but thatâs normal.
He helped you and Levi plan!! Excited boy. You filled him in when he joined you and Levi for a game night. He totally volunteered to go get some extra supplies from some nearby stores for yâall. So cute.
Once everyone is actually fighting, this boy WILL NOT STOP BEING A HUMAN (demon?) SHIELD FOR YOU. LIKE NO MATTER HOW MUCH YOU TELL HIM ITâS FINE, YOUâRE FINE, HE WILL NOT STOP.
âBabycakes, itâs okay. Itâs water. It canât hurt me.â âBut I love you. I want you safe.â O H. O K A Y.
Someone call a doctor Beel just shot MC through the heart!!! Heâs so genuine you just bright red and kiss his cheek because he deserve it.
âWell, I guess thatâs settled then, huh?â He gives you a big Beel smile and nods, ruffling your hair affectionately.
Yâall get sprayed with water A LOT because your hungry boy is very big and hard to hide. Er, I should say HE gets sprayed a lot because he is a fantastic meat shield and youâre practically dry by the time the fight is over. He, on the other hand, is soaked to the bone.
He still insists on drying you off with a towel, though. The two of you dry each other off back in the twinsâ room while Belphie dozes nearby in his bed.
Youâre in the middle of drying his shoulders when he just starts talking. âThat was really fun, MC. Iâm really grateful for you. Ever since youâve been here, things are always more fun. And you bring all my brother together. Thank you.âÂ
You damn near burst into tears!!! Ahhhh!!! You sniffle and jump into his nap, wrapping your arms around him. âBut MC, Iâm still wet.â âI donât care!! Iâm giving you snuggles!!â
Belphegor:
Literally does not give a single fuck about a water fight until he realizes it lets him throw shit at Lucifer with absolutely zero consequences. Then he is all in.
Beel doesnât even have to carry him around during the fight! Once he is outside and realizes all the shenanigans he can pull, he is perfectly content to grab you by the hand and be the one dragging you around, for once!
You two will probably team up with Satan and Beel at various points. Beel because heâs Beel, and Satan because he and Belphie absolutely set water balloon filled booby traps for Lucifer.
Thatâs his preferred strategy: set up a trap and wait in the bushes, watching for the target to approach.
Heâs definitely the type to yell âEvery man for himself!â if someone catches you guys hiding. Unlike his twin, he lets you get totally soaked while he runs away laughing. Dickweed.
You guys have a lot of fun, though!! Seeing Belphie excited is always a treat for you. And, though he doesnât say anything about it, Belphie also thinks itâs a treat whenever you scheme with him. You donât join in on his mischief often, so he always cherishes the times you do.
Eventually, after soaking Lucifer thoroughly, Belphie eventually gets a bit tired. You, however, want to keep the fun going. So, just as he begins to dose off in your hiding spot...you spray him. Right in the face.Â
He opens his eyes and sees you raising an eyebrow at him challengingly, giggling to yourself. He growls playfully and grabs his own water gun, quickly giving chase as you bolt.Â
Being a demon, heâs much quicker than you. But he lets you think you can escape for a few minutes before catching up to you and wrapping his arms around you from behind.Â
As you squirm and laugh in his embrace, he feels thankful he joined in on the fight, even if he was hesitant at first. After all, it led to this moment, where he can turn you around in his arms and give you a nice kiss as you melt against his chest.
#ta da!! another idea i've had for the longest time#posts#my writing#obey me#obey me headcanons#obey me x reader#lucifer#mammon#leviathan#satan#asmodeus#beelzebub#belphegor
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Texts from the Lost Tomb, part 5.4
I swear folks once I get this and the last part up Iâm gonna condense it all
But yeah couldnât resist some <3
Zhang and Wu Chat
Wu Xie: Um. Iâm all done with the shower if you want a turn.
Zhang Qiling: Iâm alright without one.
Wu Xie: sooo are you pissed at me still?
Zhang Qiling: ? I have not been angry with you since the ladder incident.
Wu Xie: youâve barely said anything since the necklace thingy
Zhang Qiling: I believe it is a long-running joke amongst my friend group that I do not, in fact, say much.
Wu Xie: okay but there are multiple gouges in the tea house walls that would suggest you had somewhat strong feelings today
and I kinda caused the events that sparked said feelings
so just checking in you know
Zhang Qiling: I was not angry so much as I was afraid. More afraid than Iâve been in a long time.
Wu Xie: ??? But it has worked out fine??? Everyone made it out alive and Uncle Erbai gets to feel morally superior to the Zhang family for a while so today was a win overall
Zhang Qiling: I heard you scream. I didnât know what had happened. I couldnât get to you right away. Therefore, I was afraid.
Wu Xie: ohhhhh. oh, Xiao Ge. Itâs alright nowâhey the necklace was actually helping u look out for me:) Itâs not like those ppl were actually trying to hurt me, really. Your family isnât so bad, at least you donât have any uncles you know of
today was just some big misunderstandings wrapped in some poor life choices. Tbh my memoir title
I feel kind of stupid for screaming but when a glowing necklace wraps itself around your neck itâs a little uhoh moment lol
I did like the design tho def my aesthetic.
Zhang Qiling: I am pleased that it was able to protect you when I was not.
Wu Xie: Uh no you are not allowed to get all emo abt this itâs only like 3pm
damn time flies when itâs flashing before your eyes lol
Are you on the roof? Youâre def on the roof. I thought I heard the tiles moving over my head. Come down or Iâm coming up.
Zhang Qiling: I will be down in a moment. Do not come outside, itâs cold and raining.
Wu Xie: you know, Zhang Rishan said he thinks the necklace might be linked to you, somehow
something from long ago, even though you wouldnât remember it.
Itâs lucky that it liked me, huh:)
Zhang Qiling: Yes. Quite lucky.
Babysitters Club Chat
Wang Pangzi: AWW LOOK AT HIM NAPPING ON YOUR SHOULDER SO CUTE. BEBES HAD A BIG DAY. YOU TWO ARE PRECIOUS. BE GOOD AND POSE FOR THE PICTURE NOW.
Zhang Qiling: No. Also, I am considering what steps I should take with Zhang Rishan. Regardless of his concern for the Zhang family line, his actions were unacceptable.
Wang Pangzi: HES DROOLING A LITTLE ON YOU WHICH IS LESS CUTE BUT I CAN CROP THAT PART
LOOK I KNOW YOURE STILL PISSED. IM NOT EXACTLY CALM MYSELF, I JUST HAVE WAYS TO SKIRT AROUND TIANZHENS BULLSHIT FILTER THAT YOU LACK
GET ON MY LEVEL
WU ERBAI WILL HANDLE IT, THINGS HAVE SETTLED I THINK
BUT ABOUT THAT NECKLACE
SO INTERESTING HMMM
Zhang Qiling: I am the patriarch of my family. The necklace behaved as I would, apparently, to protect a vulnerable family member. Wu Xieâs bad cold last week activated it, and it responded to a perceived danger to him today. Simple enough.
Wang Pangzi: UH HUH
A FAMILY MEMBER
THE NECKLACE REALLY SAID LOVE WINS
TOLKIEN COULD NEVER
Zhang Qiling: It protected him on a technicality. But I will not allow him to bear the burdens of my family ever again. It has taken so much from him already.
Wang Pangzi: YEAH SURE BLAH BLAH DESTINY BLAH BLAH ANGST
âA TECHNICALITYâ WOW WHO SAID ROMANCE WAS DEAD
ANYHOO IM SCREENSHOTTING THIS FOR UR WEDDING RECEPTION SLIDESHOW
YA KNOW DURING MY SPEECH
Friends of Wu Xie Support Group Chat
Hei Yangjing: youâre welcome for everything today<3 I accept PayPal, although of course it is always my honor to assist my friends:)
Wang Pangzi: WE ARENT PAYING YOU SHIT
Zhang Qiling: You did absolutely nothing.
Hei Yangjing: whoa whoa maybe I wasnât threatening family members or busting up load-bearing walls like some undying divas I could name but I totes helped
or at least I was there for moral support maybe?
Zhang Qiling: The only reason I knew you were there at all was that as I lowered my blade from Zhang Rishanâs neck, I heard the camera click and saw you were taking a selfie making a peace sign, angled to have the two of us in the background.
Xie Yuchen: I saw it on social media just now. The caption is â#greatdaycatchingupwiththelads #blessedâ
Wang Pangzi: TBH KIND OF JEALOUS I DIDNT THINK TO DO THAT
Hei Hangjing: okay yeah you see Xiao Ge that is a modern kind of help I shouldâve known you wouldnât be aware
Itâs called performance, you wouldnât understand
itâs a âGram thing
Also it means Iâm a great person
Bc letting you handle the situation was my gift to you
Zhang Qiling: Wu Xie mentioned there is something called âblocking pplâ that gets them out of my phone.
Hei Yangjing: nah
Canât trust that Wu Xie, bae canât tell a coffin from an urn amirite
itâs not a thing, blocking
Xie Yuchen: It is a thing. Iâll show you later, Zhang Qiling.
Wang Pangzi: YOU BOYS GO GET CLEANED UP AND COME BY AROUND 9 I SNAGGED SOME OF ZHANG RISHANS BOOZE ON THE WAY OUT
Bonnie and Clyde Chat
Hei Yangjing: you looked pretty comfortable in those handcuffs earlier ;););)
Xie Yuchen: Go to sleep, idiot.
Hei Yangjing: Youâd have to do something to tire me out ;););)
Xie Yuchen: Are you like this around Wu Xie? Not that I care, Iâm just asking.
Hei Yangjing: uh thatâs a big nope
First off all Idk when Iâll die but Id prefer it to be on my terms and not at the hands of those other two
Secondly there is a part of me that remembers how adorable he was when he was younger and that makes it weird
(No offense but u were not adorable. He was bebe luke skywalker, you were bebe princess leia I am obvs Han Solo 4lyfe)
Also Iâm a little scared that if i flirted with him and he flirted back heâd be better at it.
Xie Yuchen: All valid concerns.
Hei Yangjing: as cute as he is I donât really wanna tap that.
Xie Yuchen: I see.
Hei Yangjing: do you tho
Main Chat
Wu Xie: okay folks who wants cocoa to top the evening off? I picked some up today:D
Wang Pangzi: UH YOU SPENT YOUR DAY BEING KIDNAPPED AND PLACATING A SENTIENT NECKLACE WHEN DID YOU HAVE TIME TO GET GROCERIES
FRANKLY THATS INTIMIDATING
Wu Xie: the tea house gift shop:)
Wang Pangzi: âŠYOU BOUGHT COCOA FROM YOUR KIDNAPPERS. FROM THEIR GIFT SHOP. DURING YOUR KIDNAPPING.
WU XIE
WU XIE WHY
Wu Xie: I mean we were there the whole day, it felt impolite not to buy anything.
Wang Pangzi: OH RIGHT GREAT POINT ID HATE TO BE RUDE TO THEM AFTER THEY WENT TO THE TROUBLE OF ABDUCTING US
LISTEN WHEN PPL STEAL YOU IT BECOMES FREE REIGN ON THEIR SHIT
UGH YOU PROBABLY GOT A RECEIPT AND EVERYTHING
WAS UR LITTLE SHOPPING TRIP BEFORE OR AFTER THEY STUCK U IN A DUNGEON TO EXPERIMENT ON YOU
WAIT NVM I DONT WANT TO KNOW THE ANSWER TO THAT
Wu Xie: look, letâs focus on the positives/ we are all okay, and we learned something new, that necklace is still active! Itâs really quite nice-looking when it isnât moving of its own volition.
Wang Pangzi: YOU AND YOUR RELENTLESS DUCKING OPTIMISM
ZHANG QILING ARE YOU SEEING THIS
Zhang Qiling: I would love some cocoa. Iâll come to the kitchen.
Wu Xie: I have special marshmallows for you!!
Wang Pangzi: I SEE
WE ARE SUBSCRIBING TO THE PRESTIGIOUS âFUCK IT WHY NOTâ SCHOOL OF THOT TONIGHT
LOL SURE LETS GO COCOA IT UP
IVE GOT SOMETHING STRONG TO POP IN IT
Wu Xie: Still thinking about that design⊠Iâd love another chance to examine that necklace under less Zhangy circumstances.
Kinda sad we couldnât borrow it to use for illnesses and dangerous missions :/
ah well itâs for the best, a family heirloom should be treasured, preserved and protected<3
Zhang Qiling: I put it on your dresser.
Wu Xie: ???????
Wang Pangzi: AND THATS WHY YOU AND I ARE FRIENDS, XIAOGE <3
Wu Xie: Iâ
Zhang Qiling: Are those bunny-shaped marshmallows for me?
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For the arcana ask, how about Lucio?
Lucio - what do you think of every character in game? give your honest opinion of each one of them
!!!! i'm just gonna do the main 6 bc if i was to do all the side characters we'd be here for so long omg
julian: genuinely one of my favorite characters, as much as i like to meme on him both he and his story mean a lot to me, and if i think too long about him i feel like i have to lay down omg. him and the apprentice meeting with the star will always be a moment that sticks with me tbh.......... i relate to him a bit too much for comfort but it also helped put my own bullshit into perspective to hear it from. someone else. yes he's a cluster of pixels but. i digress ;;;;;;;; i think julian, of the main 3, is the best starter route for new players
asra: absolutely one of the most romantic stories i have ever seen. genuinely had No Clue how i was going to feel abt asra which feels like. par for the course bc of how mysterious he was. and i knew i was going to like his route, but i didn't expect to love it as much as i did :') i will admit, first time playing his route basically up until the lazaret i was almost kinda....... unsettled by how much asra knew that he didn't let on to the apprentice, but once i did "shadow of the past" everything clicked into place. asra will always break my heart bc yeah he's super charming and i adore him, there is just so much tragedy about him.............................. he dug until his fingers bled </3 ALSO HIS PARENTS again. something that would take way too much emotional vulnerability to unpack Why that fucked me up so bad omg. best masquerade outfit <3
nadia: NADIA............ tbh i'm a sucker for royalty/courtly romance in fantasy and i was very intrigued by nadia from the moment we met her in the shop, and i have always been so fascinated by her so i'm so excited to finally be playing her route and i am not disappointed at all. i love how, at her heart, she is kind and genuine and wants to see vesuvia improve, but her loneliness kills me like she has been so used to either operating on her own or just Not Remembering her friends that like. :) that's me screaming with my mouth shut, and i'm loving the courtly intrigue of her route and a lot of the teasing between nadia and the apprentice really feels very on par for noble romances and like. i think nadia is so well-rounded and fleshed out and truly a wonderful character. i hate her masquerade look though
portia: my hottest take is that it took me a while to actually be interested in portia like akjsdjksdk okay not that i didn't Like her, and i always thought she was fun!!! but up until recently i was kinda neutral abt whether or not i wanted to do her route, but now i am like very excited to do her route and i think she's gonna be who i romance after nadia. ironically enough, for as much as i talk abt the devorak siblings and how much i love their dynamic, i Really started to like portia once i saw her kinda "operating on her own volition" (for lack of a better statement) instead of being heavily immersed in her brother's. impending death. also i am once again saying that portia should become a pirate queen and portia/nadia is delicious
muriel: okay like. i get muriel's appeal and why a lot of people like him. i think he's interesting! but just like....... silent and stoic characters are so not my character type that, if i'm being quite honest, what gets me interested in muriel is seeing how he is with the other characters (like asra and nadia, for example) other than like......... being interested in him as his own character. which isn't to say that i don't like him!! but just his archetype has never been in my wheelhouse. i will still romance him eventually though
lucio: simultaneously the most ridiculous character i have ever seen and a terrifying villain. like his casual cruelness really does balance out his eccentricities. literally banging my head against the wall trying to figure out what the fuck actually happened to him. i think his route will be really fucking fun if i manage to not reach into the game and strangle him on sight bc every time i think abt what he did to julian and asra (and that's not even knowing what he did to the others yet) i have to restrain myself from bursting into flames.
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WIP wednesday thoughts:
willow cabin is utterly fucked because i changed my intended ~moral~ halfway through and now im stuck trying to integrate this shitty political intrigue plot into what shouldâve been a more interesting story about Ă©owyn adapting to life in gondor. hugely fucking annoyed by it and just totally unsure how to proceed. i could significantly increase the chapter count, but im worried that because the initial framing device was this bandits shit that closing out that plot and then still going for ages afterwards would be really shitty? i honestly donât know, itâs so difficult. really i just need someone to read my outline and tell me if im being a dumb twat about it lol
meanwhile I know exactly where I want to go with AFTA but for some unaccountable reason im stressed that my ass is gonna get roasted for the direction i want to take it in. itâs all based in both tolkienâs personal politics and (some) historical precedent, but im worried people are gonna see it as a marysue-ification? but also im hoping to do sthg of a sequel to afta to practice the political intrigue writing so i donât make the same mistakes i did in wc, and to do that it would require this specific set up in AFTA. im gonna put my AFTA thing under the cut so donât click read more unless youâre gucci with potential AFTA spoilers!!
this royal affair au is definitely gonna get published at some point but im trying to decide if i want to do ~tasteful~ smut that drives a longer narrative or if im really just gonna do a whole 3,000 word build up to some run of the mill, old fashioned PWP lmao
okay so i have spent a Lot of time thinking about what impact i think Ă©owyn and faramir would have on each other in a pre-ring war setting, and the honest to god conclusion ive come to is that they would somewhat inadvertently egg on each otherâs (wildly divergent) idealism.
faramirâs an idealist politically in ways that, as Big D rightly points out, are not super productive in a wartime scenario. but so far as im concerned, the war doesnât feel as warlike until they have to blow the bridge at osgiliath. until that point, thereâs not really anything to say that faramirâs whole throwback optimism isnât a perfectly justifiable position to have.
but what that idealism is and how it manifests are two really important considerations. the crux of his idealistic politics is that he looks at nĂșmenor and sees something valuable in it, and looks at gondor and sees a lot that he thinks is fucked up. outside of articulating a general angst towards the glory hunting, itâs not like heâs spending time talking about his specific policy prescriptions. however, we do know a few things that can guide us to a more coherent reconstruction of his politics:
heâs pretty rigidly hierarchical (when itâs convenient for him). as seen in: him basically telling sam to fuck off and stay in his lane in WOTW, and in how and when he chooses to refer to his father as âfatherâ vs âmy lordâ or âlord of the cityâ in the aftermath of the osgiliath retreat and then before he gets his ass sent back there. i donât want to go into too much detail here but if i go with this iâll definitely justify it more thoroughly in the footnotes.
so weâve got faramirâs emphasis on hierarchy and his occasional (when convenient) belief that the upper echelons of a hierarchy are there because theyâre intellectually and/or morally better. or, maybe to remove the causation from that instance, because they are in those upper echelons, they have an obligation to be more morally/intellectually upstanding, and the people in the structure below them have an obligation to show deference. unless youâre faramir and youâre dealing with denethor in which case that all goes out the window. classic.
we know there is some sort of nascent pseudo-democratic tradition of popular sovereignty in gondor. we know this because faramir asks the masses at aragornâs coronation if theyâll accept him as king. faramir is a lot of things, but he is certainly not a progressive political radical, and i cannot imagine any situation in which he cooked up that rigmarole himself. that then implies to me that itâs building on some sort of political/cultural expectation in gondor. so: some sort of relationship to popular legitimacy. the people of gondor are subjects, but perhaps not as totally passive and unconsidered in the power structure as we might assume given the comparability to feudal europe/asia.
given those two things, i want to use AFTA to argue:
that faramir, in looking to assign blame for the faults he sees in gondor, would not directly assign blame to the lower classes, but rather to the aristocracy, because he will have seen them as failing in their moral obligations to the people they rule over. this is not to say that he isnât fucked off about The Peopleâą valorising war, but i think heâd take the position that they couldnât possibly be expected to form those values and opinions of their own volition, and the fault lies in their rules. faramir: not gramscian.
faramir lacks any power that is non-military, and even that is of questionable worth because the rangers seem to be fairly distinct to the general structure of the army, and are not exactly a huge force.
faramir lacking any political power isnât necessarily a huge concern for him (as in, heâs not actively trying to change that), because he knows heâs not going to lead a moral revolution and isnât interested in taking up the responsibilities having political capital would engender because heâs stuck dealing with this war, that he fucking hates btw has he mentioned that he hates it?
however, given that he is apparently eminently versed in lore and scholarship, he is probably keenly aware that there is this incipient notion of popular legitimacy somewhere in gondorâs culture. itâs not, for most of his life, knowledge that actually does anything for him, but it is there.
Ă©owyn, meanwhile, doesnât really have many strong political convictions (yet). not because sheâs a dumbass or whatever, but because she looks at court politics as kind of a farce, and doesnât believe that power legitimately emanates from anywhere that isnât a Big Fucking Army. and why, strictly speaking, would she not think that? the event that brought about the creation of her kingdom was not careful, soft spoken negotiation, it was her ancestors being in the right place at the right time with a Big Fucking Army.
and the internal politics of the Riddermark actually seem to be fairly stable, all things considered. i sincerely doubt that ThĂ©oden or ThĂ©odred are having to negotiate complex politicking in the way Denethor and Boromir are. so where, then, would Ă©owyn see that kind of political behaviour outside gondor? with grĂma.
Ă©owyn, then, will see the immediate contrast between grĂma (backroom dealer, manipulator extraordinaire) and thĂ©oden (owner of Big Fucking Army). and grĂma goes and fucking wins that fight. that forces Ă©owyn to confront the fact that, jesus christ, maybe there are different types of power.
at the same time, sheâs going to be in minas tirith and needing to cover for thĂ©oden letting his shit get wrecked. not just because sheâs prideful, which of course she is, but because if denethor/gondor think that thĂ©oden is too weak to hold up his end of the bargain, why would they ever go help the Mark? Ă©owyn, seeing that thĂ©odenâs f-f-fucked, knows that thereâs a very very good chance the Mark will need help.
against her feelings about courtly politics, she starts to accept that sheâs going to need to do something to get power in gondor. not anything substantial, itâs not like sheâs trying to overthrow anybody, but enough that when push comes to shove she can force denethor to help out the Mark (if he doesnât do so willingly).
but, as ive sort of already shown in AFTA, sheâs a bit of a dogshit diplomat. good for a little big-brawny-enforcer stuff, but not exactly brimming with cultural sensitivity. by the time she realises thĂ©oden + the Mark are fucked, sheâll have burnt quite a few bridges with the gondorrim nobles, and itâs not like sheâs the sort of person to go running cap-in-hand begging for mercy.
so: she has to look elsewhere. and wow! a chance for faramir to do his favourite thing â talk about his opinions! and by god, his weird idealistic politics are⊠actually kind of helpful? because heâs like, look, youâre never gonna be a diplomat, but there are other ways of consolidating power. and one of those ways is by appealing to The Peopleâą. so why not work that angle?
and actually, we know that this is a viable route for Ă©owyn because hama, in arguing for her to take up the mantle of thĂ©odenâs heir when thĂ©oden and Ă©omer fuck off to helmâs deep, basically says that The Peopleâą love her and would have willingly chosen her to lead them.
we also know, based on faramirâs middle men speech, that the people of gondor and the mark have grown alike in nature. not totally unreasonable to then think that the people of gondor would take to her like the people of the mark did.
Ă©owyn, then, in various ways begins to try to win over the people of minas tirith. i need to do a little more research on this bc what ive got on the practicalities of that so far are a bit, uhhh, sketchy, but the least jargony way to describe this is to point to when natalie dormerâs character in GOT gets out of the carriage to go hug and kiss some babies. (marc bloch, eat your heart out)
this would later segue into a potential sequel where, while trying to secure the way for aragornâs coronation, Ă©owyn actually plays an interesting role because sheâs fallen into this incidental Diana, Peopleâs Princessâą role and so is better positioned than almost anyone to go advocate on his behalf. wow! cool! Ă©owyn getting to be politically useful in more ways than just getting hitched!
so yeah. thatâs how i am thinking it might play out. this would obviously have a rolling impact on the remainder of AFTA and how certain (đ„) events pan out later, but i think that building up part has to begin pretty much now, narratively. also this lets me get in a reference to âand then her heart changed, or else at last she understood itâ and have it not be almost entirely about wanting to shag faramir, but actually about her gradual evolution from valorising war above all else to being like, hmm, maybe there are other ways of being powerful. which i think still largely captures the âno longer I will vie with the great ridersâ stuff, but more subtly and without feeling quite so⊠deferential, I guess? Like itâs not that sheâs swapping one form of power (violence) for nothing (gardening?? healing?? tolkien accidental articulation of necropolitics??) but swapping violence for a different type of more sustainable power.
yeah. thatâs the take, basically. who fucking knows.
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omg, hey, how r u, hi, so nice to see u; welcome to my 3AM (now 6AM bc miss hellsite deleted everything) ramblings (which i will try to make as close to the original as possible); this oneâs gonna be a Doozy
now that ap testing is over and i have more time to care about literally everything else, i realize that i . i am So Bad at taking care of myself. like, so bad. and i actually realized this months ago but i didn't have this account months ago and i didn't think of this months ago soâ
((i was debating whether or not to limit this to gen z but i know it isn't just us who do this; or maybe thatâs wishful thinking and it Is just us, but idk, man,, i feel like millennials be doing this too))
sometimes, a lot of the time i just . don't eat . and i don't have a bad or difficult relationship to food or an eating disorder or anything like that, i just Don't Do It because i either legitimately forgot or i didn't feel hungry even if i hadn't eaten for a significant period of time (6-18hrs, we'll say, because i do lose track). like,, when quarantine started, i was in my room, door Locked, for 15 to 19 hours a day + i wouldn't leave unless i had to use the bathroom or shower. i only started eating and leaving my room more because my mom had to ask me to. oh, and this should be obvious, but i don't sit and eat dinner with my family either.
additionally, and this is Much More Frequent, i don't sleep. i know i don't sleep because i slept for nine hours today and woke up dazed and confused. when we had school, i would either sleep for 1-6 hours or just not at all. and then i'd go to school and not pack anything to eat :p. i actually think the longest i've gone without sleep is a full day. and i donât have insomnia or anything like that, i just be Staying Up
so, with those things in mind, i've been wondering, like,, like how the boys would react to an m/c like that, you know?
like, okay, first of all,, there's No Way mammon is gonna let mc sit alone in their room all day. his emotional support human?? alone without him??? unacceptable. it just isn't happening. he would Literally break mc's door down if they tried to keep him out, unless they, for some reason, really, really, really needed to be alone, and even then it is a Tossup. and then not sleeping or eating? hello, what do you think this is? he would accommodate them for a little while by bringing them food and making sure they slept but after a while he would literally drag them out of their room because there is no way. there is No Way heâs letting them turn into levi. not on his watchÂ
an mc like this would give luci an ulcer. a literal ulcer. why are you a human and playing with the limits of your body?? who are you, do you think youâre made of metal? do you realize you have classes to attend and that youâre surrounded by demons literally All The Time? you cannot be caught lacking (i.e. feeling faint or fatigued because you havenât eaten in seventeen hours or slept in a day). he would bring food to your room so he could make sure you ate, but when it came to sleeping? get ready to literally be dragged/carried out of your room and into his because he has work to do and he needs to keep an eye on you because Clearly you cannot be trusted to take care of yourself. he would probably go as far as to stop doing work and go to bed so you have nothing to hold against him. canât sleep at a regular time because of your nonexistent sleep schedule? thatâs okay because, beloved, He Is Putting You To Sleep. how he does so is up to you;Â and if you try to play like youâre Fine??Â
âmc, itâs seven pm, when was the last time you ate?â âfive.â âam or pm?â â...â âwell, when was the last time you slept?â âi havenât.â âMC.âÂ
you havenât slept in just over a day? baby, leviâs record is three. he would be absolutely terrible for an m/c like this; he would enable them So Hard. maybe he would bring them food (and thatâs Snacks, not actual food), and Maybe he would tell them to go to sleep once or twice, but Other Than That? he canât take care of himself for Shit either, sorry you had to hear it from me, leviastans <3
asmo,, you are worrying this man Sick. you havenât eaten in fifteen hours? are you on a diet? no? you Forgot To Eat? how many hours of sleep have you gotten? one? you Think? oh, Maybe it was two? ah, yes, mc, because that is So Much Better. seriously, though, if you wonât eat, fine, but if thereâs one thing youâre doing, itâs sleeping. you canât sleep at a decent time because you have no concept of a sleeping schedule? sweetie. beloved. he is putting you to sleep, be it through relaxing self care or something else, darling, you are knocking out. and when you wake up, heâll have a full course meal ready and he will literally feed it to you himself.
whatâs that? you havenât eaten since Yesterday and itâs three in the afternoon? oh,, you sweet summer child, beel is heartbroken. keep insisting that you arenât hungry while you can barely stand and his eyes will fill with tears. you donât wanna leave your room? fine, but that is the only thing keeping him from throwing you over his shoulder and going to the kitchen. he would literally bring you as much food as he could carry and only eat a little bit on the way back to your room. canât sleep? not a problem, wait there while he gets belphie to charm your pillow. do Not worry, teddy bear beel always has your back MUAH
speaking of belphie,, tell that man you havenât slept in a day and heâs stopping what heâs doing, dragging you to the nearest cushioned surface, and laying down with you; youâll be out in No Time. and once youâre up?? heâs dragging you to the kitchen and youâre eating any and everything he puts in front of you, and heâs not leaving you alone until youâre functioning like a human and not a gremlin, or so help him, youâll die a second time.Â
youâre like, op,, y did u put satan last?? i couldnât think of anything for him until now, i Swear i love him, okay, Anyway, you havenât eaten in almost a day? do all humans do that? no?? why can you Barely Stand??? do you need to be carried to the kitchen? he is so confused as to why you just Havenât Eaten when that is a basic function that humans need to complete or else they literally die; now wait in your room while he brings you something to eat. you canât sleep?? do Not worry, that man will curl up with you and read to you until youâre Knocked Out, which wonât take long because he has a calming presence and a soothing voice, sweetheart, u r in good hands
ok itâs 7AM and iâm contemplating doing the undateables,, should i do the undateables? iâm gonna do the undateables.Â
oh my god,, if luke finds out that you havenât eaten in, eighteen hours and you havenât slept in like twenty,, the way youâre gonna have to put in Work to convince him that you did those things of your own volition and the demons you live with arenât starving or overworking you and No they arenât forcing you to lie about anything. after youâve done that, he is seeing to it that you eat something right away; it does not matter where you are, you are a human and youâre feeling Faint around literal demons, are you Dumb? are you Dumb of Ass?? come with him immediately before you hurt yourself or get hurt, he is feeding you and then youâre sleeping in his room and heâs Not taking no for an answer; donât even think about telling him no, heâll cry at you.Â
you cannot tell me simeon is not the doting/fussing type, okay, and he is appalled. Appalled. what did you just say. the reason why you donât look so good is because youâve been up since Yesterday and you havenât eaten since then either? why? what do you mean you forgot to eat; what kind of human Forgets To Eat? oh, you didnât forget? you just didnât feel like getting up? youâre gonna give him an ulcer. if he doesnât do anything else, he is getting you something to eat, you literally just activated every older sibling/parental instinct he has from luke being an angel. he will literally take you to the closest place with food, sit you down, and buy you whatever you want, and if you say you donât want anything, heâll buy you one of everything and give the leftovers to beel, do Not test him. and when youâre done eating, youâre taking a nap. where? anywhere. no one will disturb you so long as heâs there, youâll sleep perfectly fine <33
dia is half horrified and half intrigued. you havenât slept in how long? are humans supposed to do that?? NO??? like,, part of him wants to see how long you can last without sleep or food just to see the limits of the average human and part of him wants to feed you and make sure you sleep immediately. he would have to fight every urge to do the former, but once he did, you are eating everything he finds and you are sleeping for however long his Humans 101 manual says you should sleep for.Â
i am so thoroughly convinced that solomon literally would not care at all you have No Idea-Â
like,,, i just feel like heâd ask you if you were alright because you looked a little off and youâd tell him you hadnât slept or eaten in a while and heâd first look at you like you were literally out of your mind and then depending on where you were, Maybe keep you company (read: make sure nothing happens to you) while you take a nap, or Maybe buy you food, or take you to the house or purgatory hall (whicheverâs closer) because he wouldnât leave you alone,, surrounded by demons, ever; let alone in your current state. ok wow maybe he does care what a sweetie
barbatos would literally. he would keep his ^_^ cool facade, but on the inside he would be Screaming. full throttle internal screaming that has been going on for centuries just got several notches louder because you canât take care of yourself, i hope ure happy. you havenât slept since yesterday? one notch. you didnât eat breakfast or lunch? another notch. you feel faint? oH WOW REALLY??? I FUCKING WONDER WHY another notch. come with him. please come with him before he blows a fuse for the first time in 400 years because you think youâre an exception to the rules of being a human. heâs feeding you and putting you to sleep whether you think youâre fine or not; donât argue with him, he already takes care of his immortal boss who is the equivalent of an excited child on most days or a troublesome teenager on others and he Does Not Lose Arguments.Â
ok itâs almost 11am goodnight now <3
#i really do be rambling huh#wow#obey me#obey me!#obey me lucifer#obey me mammon#obey me levi#obey me leviastan#obey me satan#obey me asmo#obey me asmodeus#obey me beel#obey me beelzebub#obey me belphie#obey me belphegor#obey me diavolo#obey me dia#obey me solomon#obey me simeon#obey me barbatos#obey me luke#obey me imagines#obey me headcanons
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Loki Ep4 Spoilers below (once more bc I just can't help myself, can I?)
It's been a while since I've had a character as interesting as Mobius to analyze and I have no chill. Spoilers start below:
Also some spoilers for WandaVision but it's been months so hopefully y'all have seen it
TL;DR Mobius really trying to connect back with Loki in order to try and bring the TVA down (and also bc "oops, Loki was right, guess I gotta own up to that bitterness") and it works but it hurts so much. Also see: I can't stop watching this scene over and over trying to understand Mobius' subtle actions bc his reaction here is so different than in all other scenes where he's usually calm or trying to delve deep into Loki's mind for information. Now he's just desperate.
Ok so I know I made a post talking about Mobius' jealousy in that interrogation scene but I also want to touch on when he comes back again after seeing the footage from C-20's interrogation scene bc man is so desperate here and I'm crying
(I'm sorry, I can't get gifs to work for me today so we just using images. But I got these from this post)
Mobius was so hurt last time we saw him, Loki being thrown back into the time cell with Lady Sif, hitting our dear agent with "out of all the liars in this place... you are the biggest... for the [lies] you tell yourself." Mobius has been pushing down all these doubts, hiding all his questions and curiosities of the TVA for a while. He's teased Ravonna, but could never really get anywhere. Then after speaking with Loki about Sylvie, about "you're all variants", Hunter B-15's suspicions, the oddness of C-20's "death" (M:"she was just fine before." R:"well, then she suddenly wasn't fine."). Mobius is finally allowing himself to realize things, to question truly what is going on. (R: "Is that what you wanted to hear?" M: "Yeah, if that's the truth." R: "You've been around Lokis too long.")
In this scene, when he comes back to the time cell for Loki, he's frustrated, he's angry, he's desperate. Everything is a lie. He can't pretend anymore. Loki has bonded with Sylvie (actually caring for another human being without the trauma of Thor: The Dark World and Thor: Ragnarok) ((I'm begging you, pls let him see a variant of Thor in this series and get to bond again, I miss them)). C-20 is likely pruned and gone forever with no answers. B-15 is getting anxious and unfocused. Ravonna is snapping at him and manipulating him with those long speeches (please, Mobius has heard enough from Loki's videos to know when he's being manipulated by fake sentimental words). He's tired, no longer patient enough for all the little quips-- he just need answers. For once in his "life" at the TVA, he just wants the truth. Something to safely hold to.
He's just put Loki through this timeloop of Lady Sif, of someone from home someone that could've been close to him under different circumstances, someone his brother cared about, kicking him/slapping him/ berating him with "you deserve to be alone, and you always will be." Loki's whole "Sacred Timeline Life" marks him to "always be alone", to finally get close to people before being torn away (whether in his own volition or by someone/something else). But with Loki caring for Sylvie, maybe even loving her, this changes everything for this Loki. He could finally care enough to save someone, to go out of his way in order to help others at his own cost. And Mobius knows this.
He asks again, desperate, pleading, hoping. Loki has to believe in himself, has to love himself enough to think to believe that he deserves a family, love, security from his greatest fear. He has to have changed because if not, then he'll either get pruned or wind up just like Mobius. Either way, gone from existence-- life erased, precious memories of "what if", "what once was", obliterated. He has to believe, or it'll happen again and again and again. To everyone, to the whole universe, unless something someone could do the impossible and shatter all reality.
With Wanda (specifically in WandaVision, final episode end credits), with her searching for her children and Vision, attempting the impossible and blending her realities in order to give them life because she needs them, she loves them. (M: "If you really care about [Sylvie]..."). This threat to the Sacred Timeline, pushing closer and closer to the MCU Multiverse, because they have to, because they want to.
(sorry again for bland picture, I love his expression in this gif but it wont load)
Mobius knows Loki is hurting-- from Lady Sif, from his past, from failing to protect Sylvie on his own, from Mobius not believing him and calling him "just a bad friend". He knows Loki could learn to believe, but he doesn't yet. Only Frigga ever told him she believed in him, he needs to hear it again. He needs to know he deserves love because he is loved. Mobius does, "believe, stupidly" (ep2) that Loki has this potential.
When I first saw this scene in the trailers, I was nervous it would be in the context of Mobius trying to get Loki on the TVA's side, "someone good". But here, this is so much better-- he knows the TVA is lying, is manipulating, is destroying lives. (L: "No one bad is every truly bad, and no one good is ever truly good" ep2 again lol). Loki knows he's not "truly good", that he's hurt people-- whether he planned to or not. But he can still be good. He can still choose to love, to care, to believe.
He can be what he's always wanted, what Frigga promised him, what he's always feared. He can be known, be loved, be safe-- Loki doesn't just fear being alone, he fears people choosing to leave him. That's why the memory of Lady Sif instead of Thor reaching for him on the Rainbow Bridge or Thanos threatening the Asgardian refugees or even Odin trying to explain why he "saved" Loki when he fought Loki's homeland. This memory was casual, simple, unnecessary. But it's always the smallest moments that truly impact us the most-- the slight changes.
When Mobius says this to Loki, he freezes-- he's confused, hesitant, scared. No one tells him this, why is someone telling him this, how can I believe this?
And then:
.And the little shrug Mobius gives here
It's so casual, so simple, so nonchalant. He just wants to reassure Loki that he still cares. He just spent a whole interrogation hounding on Loki for finding love with Sylvie, for changing with her (jealous boi be jealous), for lying to him and betraying him (M: "You don't do partners... unless ofc it benefits you and you intend to betray them at some point"). But now, now he's stopped lying to himself. He knows he cares, that Loki has a chance, that they have to burn this place down. Mobius wants stop this from ever happening again, from someone ever having to go through what Loki's gone through, being told they can never be loved because that's just how the Timeline goes. That a kid would be taken away from their family (probably because Sylvie presents feminine?? Idk, feel like MCU Odin wouldn't be so good with that). He has to reassure Loki, he wants to, because no one should ever feel that way again.
(and frick I really hate this, please look at the gifs from the linked post above, u gotta see his precious smile grow)
LOOK AT THIS SMILE, LOOK AT HIM HE'S HAPPY. And it was such a small, subtle apology from Mobius but it made all the difference bc he told Loki that he believes in him. And then they walk back out of the time cell, side-by-side, looking at each other. Content, safe, prepared to face the world together. He's no longer alone.
... And then ofc this happens...
*cue my heart shattering* (bless Hiddleston's acting).
The fact that you can even hear the hitch in Mobius' breath as he realizes this is the end of the line for him, that Ravonna knows and there's no going back--he's not making it out of this.
"One last desperate trick from the desperate trickster."
He talks about the jetski, about what his life might have been, he knows this hits Loki, being ripped from your timeline, losing all that potential. More importantly, it gives Loki a reason to fight. A silent, "Don't let this happen again. Don't let them get away with this. Please, remember me, don't let me disappear." But it doesn't work, because the one thing Mobius didn't account for, is that Loki cares about him. That now, the fight drains out of him. They pruned Mobius, ofc they'll get to Loki and Sylvie. They didn't even hesitate. Loki just lost, once again, the only other person who ever told him they believed in him. "You can be whoever, whatever..." "She told me I could do anything..."
Loki is less of a narcissist and more of a person desperate to fill that hole inside-- he's been neglected, cast aside, told he should want this and then never getting it. A "Glorious Purpose" to always hide in the shadows, to cause suffering, to give others a reason to unite against him. But for once, just once he hoped that he didn't have to do it alone-- that he could unite. And then they crushed those beautiful few seconds of hope like it was just another tedious, burdening purpose of the TVA.
(credits of images/gifs to the original posts linked, none were mine as I can't figure this out at all lol)
#loki spoilers#loki ep4#wanda marvel#loki#loki series#mobius#mobius m mobius#agent mobius#dear god he has so many different name tags#sylvie#hunter b 15#c 20#queen frigga#ravonna renslayer#lokius#but not really#angsty#bc I can't help myself#character analysis#pls save me#im too deep into this episode now#there's just so much to unpack#long post
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