#bc it's naturally an individual choice

[menlove]

@ canadians my biggest beef w you is that I live about an hour away from you people & bc of this we have many tim hortons & get many tim hortons regulars at MY coffee shop. and every single one of them orders an iced latte and gets pissed when it's over ice and not frozen bc tim fucking hortons' "iced capps" are frozen. why would you do that.

[minttey]

Nature is healing, cool dice, vampire, cute <3

I think that basically summed me up as a person

[saetoru]

Tee…

I’m now on my hands and knees BEGGING for bully Gojo who is (secretly) DISGUSTINGLY IN LOVE over the reader PLEASE ANY CRUMBS I WILL TAKE

(you don’t actually have to write this it was just a nice thought)

idkkkkk if it’s rly bully gojo—but he’s definitely a real cunt for sure.

i just think about an asshole! gojo a lot like he’s ur lab partners or something and he does that stereotypical jerk move where he’s like “seriously ?? her ??” when he’s first paired with you. and he’s just naturally an douche, yk ?? wears sunglasses indoors and makes jokes at the professors expense under his breath that gets him snickers and snorts from his frat guys in his class. has to be asked more than once to “please keep it down in the middle of class” by wtv prof he’s in class with.

and he ofc makes u do all the work bc he can’t be bothered—and on the rare occasion that he is bothered, he just does a poor job that’s the bare minimum and sloppy enough that ur like wtv i’ll just do it myself. and then ofc sometimes u don’t have a choice but to meet up to finish something after class every now and then—he wouldn’t care to, but he actually needs to know the stuff for the final report he has to write individually, so he begrudgingly meets up with you, and sometimes you notice his friends give you an amused look when he walks up with them. they snicker before they leave as he sits with you. sometimes they make a snide comment here and there like “have fun with ur super hot date” that makes him roll his eyes—he doesn’t do much to hide the look of distaste on his face.

but then—and he doesn’t even know when it happens—you start to slowly grow on him. because ur actually pretty snarky urself, sometimes making a dry comment here and there about the professor and his stupid bald headed self. sometimes a girl in the distance laughs too hard a group of guys that u roll ur eyes and mumble how “if i had a voice like that i’d never laugh in public” and it makes him snort a bit without meaning to. sometimes you stare daggers at the person who has their music so loud thru their headphones they can’t help but notice u and turn it down in embarrassment. ur actually not as much of a pushover as he thought—you just genuinely think he’s too incapable to help u out that you’ve just shrugged him off and started doing his part. it’s an easy weekly lab class anyway, you don’t need him—and then he realizes that u rly just don’t care for him. his little snickers at u with his friends and their snide comments roll off ur back bc well…he’s him—an asshole little frat boy and u didn’t expect anything better from him. so it makes him a little intrigued—maybe a little wounded in his pride, deep down, because no one has ever been indifferent to him before. they’re either madly in love, or they hate his guts, or they follow his lead. either works—he still gets the attention he craves.

but u just don’t rly care. and ur actually pretty cool, and kinda sorta funny in a way no one else is. he likes it…and fuck, now he’s starting to like you. he can tell bc when his friends ask how his little date with you went, he starts getting a bit huffy ab it bc they don’t need to talk about you. they don’t even know you…but also….its not a date. and that’s the worst part. sometimes it feels like a date. almost—sometimes you both decide to take a break in between and go get a coffee or a light snack. sometimes he’s even paid (to which you look mildly shocked before politely thanking him) and you both walk back to the library while u make light banter and it’s…well, fun. and nice. and your laugh is pretty. and your smile is kinda cute and he (though he hates to admit it) rly likes it when u laugh because of him.

and then things start to get messy—really, he didn’t mean for it to start this way. he really was meaning to ask you in a genuine manner to see u again once the semester was finished. because he’s actually started pulling his weight—he wants u to see him for someone who’s smart. satoru is actually rly rly smart and no one knows it because he doesn’t rly show it but he is. he wants u to see that side of him—somehow there’s some sick validation he rly needs from you knowing he’s not a dense frat guy who drinks and fucks until 3 am every night. so he starts doing his parts and actually communicates with u about sections. so starts ur texting routine—sometimes a little longer than u rly need to for just doing a lab together. sometimes it’s “did u hear ab that girl in our class getting dumped in front of the kfc ??” and sometimes it’s “god our prof rly needs to get some pussy” and other times it’s “look what the guy who sits behind us just posted on his story” and it leads to a few long convos that admittedly…are rly fun. ur so fun. he likes it. he rly does like u and he thinks maybe….maybe he’s grown on u too and you know what ?? satoru’s always a jerk but ur nice and who’s to say he can’t be nice too ?? just for one person. for u, he can be a nice guy—u carried lab all on ur own long enough that u deserve it anyway.

until he gets swayed in that way only a coward can. in that way you do when ur used to being “the man” around ur friends and ur too pressured to keep up that energy for appearances sake bc u don’t wanna be the laughing stock who softened up for “some nerdy chick who’s a nobody.” so he laughs when they laugh at the fact that ur probably “still a virgin who’s never touched a guy before” and then they’re patting gojo on the back and shoving at his shoulder as they laugh harder and suggest that “y’know what would be so funny man ?? if u took her virginity. you could probably do it.”

the thought is sickening because…satoru wouldn’t want to fuck you like that. god, you have him caring about when and how he fucks you—in fact, just thinking about you lewdly makes him feel guilty. disrespectful, even. you’re more than a fleshlight for his dick. since when did he become so respectful ?? but he doesn’t know how to say no, especially when everyone starts agreeing one after the other—and oh no, now they’re betting on how quickly he can do it….and oh, now it’s not just fucking. now it’s “how long until you think she’s head over heels for you? man, that would be a sight, huh ??”

and….well, satoru decides it couldn’t hurt, right ?? he does want to be romantically involved so that would include you being head over heels. hopefully. fingers crossed. and he doesn’t rly want to seem lame in front of the guys either, so he gets to keep both sides of the coin, so is it really that bad ?? maybe not the right idea but certainly the right execution. he’ll treat you well—that much he’s confident of. so he forces out a laugh and says “gimme a month or two, you’ll see.”

and a month or two they give him. and a month or two it takes—but not for you to be head over heels. it’s him who’s utterly and completely obsessed and fallen head first and whatever else they say to describe love because wow. this must be what it is. this must be that stupid fairytale shit they always talk about because fuck, no one has ever looked at him like that. like he’s some miracle to this earth and some wonder only you know of—like you hope it stays that way and that he’s yours and yours alone and no one else comes in to take him away. satoru really likes being yours, it kinda feels better than you being his. being yours means you hold him like that at night and wake him up to a kiss between his brows and sometimes, when he gets those migraines he’s prone to getting, you always seem to know. always seem to understand when to close the blinds and keep quiet and wrap him up in the covers as you rub your thumbs over his temples soothingly.

he almost forgets about that silly little bet he made two months ago when he’s around you. actually, he forgets everything when he’s around you. he’s only ever thinking about you, you, you. when he comes back to his frat house, on the other hand, they’re all gathered around waiting for the newest details. how you must’ve been so pathetically star struck by him. how you must be embarrassingly bad at kissing. how you must stutter over every other word around him. how you must be making a complete and utter fool of urself trying to impress him and be someone you’re not bc the real you would never pique his interest.

they’re wrong ofc. if anyone’s star struck, it’s satoru bc how the hell are u so…cool ?? and so funny and witty and carefree ?? and you’re good at kissing—have him chasing your lips with a whine every time. sometimes you even chuckle at him when he does and make him blush a bit. he’s the one who stutters over his words when he sees you in your little date night outfits. sometimes he watches you drink from your straw and his brain short circuits a little until you snap at him and ask him in confusion if he’s alright. but the real kicker ?? it’s that if anyone’s pretending, it’s satoru. you’re always just you—unapologetically so, that it’s endearing and beautiful and so unearthly he wonders how he got so lucky. but him ?? he’s always acting like some guy he’s not. some chivalrous guy who opens doors and pushes out seats and kisses the back of hands and waits at least a few dates before even considering fucking. some nice, sweet, genuine guy who’s deserving.

he’s not that—never was. if you knew the real him, you’d leave in a heartbeat. it’s a scary thought. a raw feeling he doesn’t like. makes him feel all self conscious and insecure and all that weird shit he never thought he’d feel.

he tries. so hard, he tries to make them forget about that silly little bet and just slowly drop it and maybe even forget ur dating so he can just stay living this peaceful little fantasy with you—but that’s stupid. that’s naive. it’s been 4 months and enough is enough—the guys need to see the look on ur face when u realize what a fool ur being and satoru is “being a lazy ass who’s too comfortable not having for work for pussy these days.” so then there’s a video going around. it’s everyone gathered around on the couch drunk and talking about you. and satoru. you both, in fact. how it’s been two months and u seem desperate for his attention with the shrill little voice you use to call him toru, baby! it’s so, so fucking embarrassing, they say. how you think he likes it. (he does. god he does so much, it hurts. he loves it, actually, when you call him that. makes him feel special in a way he never has.) but then, the worst, most disgustingly nauseous part of the whole thing is when satoru laughs along and plays into their awful words. just lets them talk about you like you’re some piece of meat. something for him to chew up and spit out after he has a taste or you. not even worth savoring and enjoying. he laughs along and agrees—you’re nothing special and he can’t wait until he’s free of you.

that part hurts. that part sucks the most—when he acts like he didn’t tremble under your touch every time you kissed him. like he didn’t beg you to stay just five more minutes! before walking out the door to go home. he acts one way in front of you and one way in front of them and what’s worse ?? you don’t know which one is real. couldn’t tell even if your life was on the line to decide. because there’s no way he’s that good at pretending to be desperately in love, no fucking way. but there’s also no way he can be in love if he’s talking about you like that. that’s not what love is—that’s not what love feels like. that’s not what it means to someone.

you don’t know which satoru is the real one, but you know that neither is worth your time. not if he can’t stick to it.

it’s terrible thing—the way you break up. it’s messy and teary and he’s begging, he’s actually begging. he never thought he’d do that. but he doesn’t even hesitate to plead for you to hear him out. baby, please let me explain. wait, please don’t walk away—please just listen! i can explain.

he can’t explain, though when you as him to. stands there with a bitten bottom lip and teary eyes that are pleading you to just stay with him. to overlook this and just … ignore it like it’s nothing. like what he did and said was just nothing and you can shrug it off like you’re nothing too. like your feelings are nothing and so is your worth and that’s why you should just ignore the way he absolutely destroyed your pride and reputation and dignity and worse….every ounce of your love.

such deep, raw, pure love—it’s almost enough to heal every dry crack and crevice of this earth and bring it back to life.

you look at him with teary eyes and something so broken, it makes him feel like dirt beneath your feet.

“it’s embarrassing, satoru,” you hiss that night through tears, “you’re in your twenties getting a degree and you’re still just a high school bully. life’s really gonna kick you in the ass some day.”

life’s already kicking him in the ass as soon as you walk out. the air is colder. the world is dimmer. food doesn’t taste as good and fuck—there is just so much loneliness when you have no one to be yourself with. when there’s no you.

but he supposes you’re right though—he is just a bully. it’s pathetic, really. and maybe it’s for the best. maybe you don’t deserve someone who’s only ever known how to feel good because someone else doesn’t.

[pressplay-if]

To think I was worried about this IF ending up too short for anyone to be interested.

The hospital section in this Chapter alone is only getting longer and longer. I keep thinking of new important details and little extra scenes to add just to complete the psych ward experience (TM).

Some interesting details about Zima and MC's past mental state below cut (might be important):

Zima has now had their first interview section, mainly determining the details of the nature of their past involvement with MC. There's a total of four options. If you enjoyed the choice of Stevie having a crush on MC, you're gonna love this.

MC can be hospitalized due to either depression or social anxiety, as these are the only conditions that I feel wholly comfortable writing. I considered also offering a combination of the two, but ultimately decided against it, as the MC's oast mental illness will eventually influence the future of the story and I want those paths to be very distinct and different.

Please mind that, while everyone who suffers from mental illness of any kind has their own totally subjective and individual experience with it, I'm writing social phobic and depressive MCs with certain "set" symptoms. Here are some set elements:

Social phobia MCs experience physical symptoms and selective mutism. They are nervous and quiet, so all their interactions, especially in the beginning of their hospitalization (even when picking the antagonistic options) will reflect that. So if you're wondering why MC seems to be acting meek or "submissive", it's bc of their affliction not allowing them to be as outspoken as they might like to be. Social phobia MCs have a general exhaustion of life, given they live in constant stress, but they do not self-harm. They are prone to sleep disturbances.

Depressive MCs experience listlessness, irritation (which can makes them more prone to acting aggressively), feelings of self-loathing and dissatisfaction. They have a heightened need for sleep and will report not wanting to get out of bed. They can, in fact, choose to be currently practicing self-harm, or to have done so in the past. However, even if they choose to have never self-harmed, they will report thoughts of suicide.

Either MC will be medicated during their time in the clinic. It's a small text section and a slight bit vague as my medical knowledge, despite my research efforts, is limited. The MC will get to choose how to feel about the drugs and the potential side effects, though.

Either MC will be able to additionally describe symptoms indicating neurodivergence.

Either MC can choose to be underage smoking, drinking or both during this time. Or neither, of course.

So thanks for reading all that! Small disclaimer: I know very well that the depression and social phobia symptoms I chose to write about are NOT universally representative. This all might sound like the routes are very set, but there's actually a ton of customization going on in this chapter, so don't you worry! (Also it's gonna be rly important for the future of the band)

[jasmineandcedar]

The bigger picture | the poorly picked bonds

I’ve been memeing for days, so I wanted to write about something a little more serious. One of the main reasons why I'm excited for Elain's book is it's implications for the agency of the females of Prythian.

Sometimes I think our obsessive love for individual characters in the fandom leads us to not see the forest because we are so obsessed with the trees. But this can turn things a little smaller than they are sometimes, and we narrow down the stories to such small concepts as vibes between certain characters, maybe even individual lines or scenes. I for one am quite obsessed with Elain and Azriel’s dynamics and sigh dreamily at their individual scenes and lines.

Nothing wrong with that, fandom is the space for vibes. And the trees can be very nice. But I want to zoom out and look at the bigger implications of Elain and Azriel's love story, and why this is the story it seems SJM has been wanting to tell for years, has been carefully setting up, and which needs to be told (and why I’m excited to hear it told). The story about the poorly picked bonds.

Female empowerment is an overarching theme in ACOTAR. SJM has said as much, and we can see it in the books. Focusing on the spinoffs, Nesta's book opened up the title of warrior to females, in a social context where they had been excluded from it, despite their competence and willingness. Elain, the quiet dreamer and hopeless romantic, has been set up to grapple with the issue of females' choice in love in her book. 

The ugly side of the coin that is mating bonds

This has probably been pointed out before but since I'm still quite new here I hope you can forgive me if I'm beating a dead horse. The importance of telling the story of a rejected mating bond stretches far beyond just setting up a thrilling forbidden romance trope for Elriel. SJM has framed the rejection of a bond within the context of mated females being seen as the male's possession in Prythian, with the Autumn Court being seemingly the worst (as confirmed in Azriel's BC).

[Rhys, about mating bond rejections] For the females, it is usually easier to ignore, but the males … It can drive them mad. It is their burden to fight through, but some believe they are entitled to the female. Even after the bond is rejected, they see her as belonging to them. Sometimes they return to challenge the male she chooses for herself. Sometimes it ends in death. (ACOWAR)

[…] On the continent, there are territories that believe the females literally belong to their mate. (ACOWAR)

The last we heard of the mating bonds was SJM depicting Elain as losing her boldness around Lucien, and Azriel pointing out how the bond in Elain's case has given her to a male she does not want, asking, ‘what if the Cauldron was wrong?’ In doing so, SJM reminded us of what Rhys and Feyre said in ACOWAR in relation to Elain, Azriel, and Lucien: ‘Sometimes the bond picks poorly’, ‘Is there no free will’, ‘Why not make them mates?’

We have seen two stories told about mating bonds that worked out. But we’ve known since ACOWAR that isn't always the case. Yet we still haven't heard of a rejected mating bond. Certainly not a high stake one like Elain and Lucien’s. Rejecting a mating bond has therefore implications for every female in Prythian. Whether it is simply rejected by Elain, or if she, through her nature of being Made, finds a way to not just reject but actually break the unbreakable bond. 

A (high stake) mating bond rejection has implications for females like Rhys and Tamlin’s mothers, shackled to bad men because of the cultural and religious importance of the mating bond. It has implications for females like Elain, shackled to a male they never chose and do not want (regardless of if we might find the male to be good, because females owe nothing to males simply because they're nice and good). For females like Mor and others who are queer, and more/exclusively into women, and might still be shackled to a male. It has implications for all the females threatened with carrying the responsibility of driving a male they never chose mad should they reject him and refuse to succumb to being his possession. For females mated to Autumn Court males, threatened with the responsibility of their true love's death should he/she be forced to take part in the Blood Duel and fail. This is the ugly side of the coin that is the mating bonds of Prythian. The side which story hasn’t yet been told. The side which story SJM has set up across four books. About the poorly picked bonds.

The power of Elain's choice

As it appears, we are getting Elain and Azriel’s POV for the next book, and not Lucien's (as the spinoffs are dual POV of the love interests). Given Prythian's history and customs, I think there's a narrative strength in centering the female and her choice when telling the story of their rejected mating bond. Elain's POV, and the POV of her love interest, not because he is Azriel but because he is who she has chosen. And he has chosen her too, despite her being 'given to another' according to the customs of Prythian, a fact even Rhys and Feyre (however reluctantly) are using to their advantage when navigating court politics and try to maintain peace. Azriel is not wrong to question that this is how the mating bond is viewed in Prythian.

Aside from the minor detail we haven't gotten to Elain's actual story yet, it is understandable why SJM hasn't made Elain simply casually reject the bond yet. It is understandable why Azriel has been staying away even though it ruins him. SJM doesn’t have Elain and Azriel just playing forbidden romance for the thrill. And there aren't just short-term political implications of them pursuing each other, potentially resulting in the longer term loss of fragile peace. A rejected mating bond grapples with philosophical questions of agency and fate, as SJM pointed out in her TODAY interview. And as we see in the books, SJM has given it major social and political implications. This is the stuff for a long book. Because it's so much bigger than Elain. Her reclaiming her agency is also reclaiming the agency of the females of Prythian. That's the power of Elain's choice.

And it makes sense it should be the notoriously defiant Azriel who, at her side, defies fate and tradition over his love for Elain regardless of who fate has given her to, which could result in females as a whole gaining freedom from the poorly picked bonds. Azriel, who SJM so clearly has depicted as not only defiant but as uniquely supporting and standing up for the females in his life, and as hating backwards traditions and customs. SJM has tied this story to Elain and Azriel, weaved it into their arcs across several books so seamlessly and with such forethought it is sometimes missed. Because you really have to read all books to see this overarching bigger picture clearly. But when you do, I think it is very clear. 

I think this is the immense potential of Elain's book and Elriel's forbidden love story. It isn't just Elain going "ew, swipe left" in a paragraph. It is about the females of Prythian getting their freedom and agency back. It is about the other side of the coin that is mating bonds. About the poorly picked bonds. And I very much look forward to hearing this story told.

(and Lucien will very likely be just fine!)

[bandaidrights]

My rant on fem ratiorine bc I love women

Individual hcs first

Ratio:

- About shoulder length curly hair, it's usually thrown into a bun because she's a tired teacher and is usually too tired to do a full curl routine

- same height as cannon ratio and same amount of muscles (why do ppl not draw her muscles 😔)

- heavy chested, her back always is in some sort of pain, her baths usually help relieve it tho

- boob window

-greek nose

- her cannon outfit is the same, but she sometimes wears a white or dark blue skirt, just depends on how she's feeling

- her sandals have a slight heel, she's already tall so she doesn't really need to make herself taller, it's just for fashion

- her bust is the same as cannon ratios, nothings changed about that

- rarely does makeup, maybe a light lipstick if she's feeling it, she's just naturally beautiful

Aventurine:

- about mid back length straight hair, she tries to curl it and put products to make it look good

- same height as cannon aven

- keeps things in her bra, lipstick, credit cards, wtv

- mostly cannon outfit but wears a white skirt most of the time, sometimes, she'll wear loose white business pants

- heels, always wearing heels, they have lil spades on the heel

- always has her nails done

- always wears makeup

Now them tg hcs

- aven insists on doing a curl routine for ratio, she honestly loves doing ratios hair, it's comforting to just do her partners hair in comfortable silence

- their first date, ratio did her hair and makeup and dressed up more then usual because they were going somewhere nice (avens choice). Aventurine noticed immediately and eas just "did you get all prettied up for me, dear doctor?" With just a smile, ratio nodded and js grabbed avens hand

- aven does ratios nails, nothing fancy, she just paints her finger and toe nails whatever color ratio pics, usually blue. Aven is usually ranting about whatever happened during the day while doing her nails, and ratio is carefully listening

- ratio is a human heater, she runs hot, aven is always cold, during the night, ratio has no blankets on, aven is buried in them but also snuggling up to ratio for more warmth

- aven does ratios lipstick some mornings, sometimes she messes It up on purpose with a kiss

- ratio always carries around a hair tye for aven, she sometimes wants to put her hair up and doesn't have anything, ratio already knows what she's asking for and just holds it up

-------

Thank u for reading, feel free to add any if u have some :3 I love love love ratiorine

[delaneytveit]

i’m putting myself through acowar bc i intend to see these books through to the end, and what the actual fuck. i knew sjm fucks her own characters up and contradicts absolutely EVERYTHING but jfc i did not realize it was this bad.

In the Velaris townhouse, before the IC goes to Hewn City, feyre see’s Azriel and Elaine outside, mind you Elaine is still severely grieving her old life and not doing well at all. And Feyre decides that what Elaine really needs is Azriel as a mate because he will make it all better, and not Lucien.

“There is a choice. And sometimes, yes- the bond picks poorly. Sometimes, the bond is nothing more than some…preordained guesswork at who will provide the strongest offspring. At its basest level, its perhaps only that. Some natural function, not and indication of true, paired souls.” p258 This coming straight from Rhysand.

So WHAT IS THE FUCKING POINT???? what is the point of putting so much into mating bonds? if even honoring them. why does it matter? if its not about the actual individuals in the bond.

When they say that mating bonds are rare, do they mean that mating bonds in which both parties actually like and tolerate eachother and work together are rare? because it seems like mates are dropping left right and center. I don’t get it.

Also the fact that the female can walk away and choose to be with someone else and the male has free reign to just delete that someone else. (not in NC -though lets be honest Rhys isn’t even really enforcing the whole “wing clipping is illegally” thing soooooo)

[schtrawberry]

personal astrology observations

[!] this is mostly an introspective view into my chart; in no way, shape, or form am i saying that any of this is fact or set in stone, nor am i saying that i am a professional astrologer. these are just presences that exist within my chart that i've felt manifest themselves in real life. simply put, take what resonates and leave what doesn't :)

— sun in hard aspect to neptune can indicate having an (extremely) clouded view of oneself to the point of there being a huge gap in the way they think they're presenting themselves to the world to how they're actually perceived and viewed by other people.

[i have this aspect in square and i've noticed that people perceive me as more than i truly am (more financially-abundant, skilled, smarter than i actually am, etc.) and just make incorrect assumptions about my personality and who i am, in general. i feel that this might be due to the clouded nature of neptune versus the outward nature of the sun which has led to a social manifestation of the unclearness of my inner self and the way i display myself to the world, if that makes sense.]

═ another thing, i don't think people talk enough about how strongly neptune manifests itself in this placement, even among individuals with very little neptunian energy in their charts. daydreaming and just being not fully there plays a large part in who i am, and not even in a cute dumb blonde kinda way, more in an absentminded, head-in-the-clouds kinda way.

☰ sun in the tenth house 🤝🏽 being/wanting to be on a reality tv show!

[i swear as someone w this placement, i often find myself genuinely feeling like yes, if given the chance to do love island/too hot to handle/twenty-somethings/the bachelor— i 100% would.]

☱ mercury in hard aspect to neptune can indicate having a beautiful way w words but also not being able to explain things clearly?? can also manifest itself in just literally being difficult to understand at times, either due to the volume of their voice, way of speaking, or choice of words.

☲ moon opposition mars can exhibit deep emotional turmoil and not being able to handle one's emotions in a calm manner. i find that this manifests itself in the occasional emotional outburst (whether it's more crying or anger or both probably depends on both the moon and mars sign) but yeah— turmoil.

[i have personally experienced multiple events throughout my life where i've gone through public (embarassing, ik) emotional outbursts during stressful situations. luckily, my moon is in cancer so i'm more just a ball of tears, but this has been something that i'm still struggling to control, even as a twenty-one yr old]

☴ having a heavily-aspected chiron (multiple major aspects to personal planets, asc, and mc) and feeling rejected by your family and peers. chiron is the asteroid of wounds, hence a heavy presence in one's chart can indicate multiple emotional wounds involving one's parents, the same/opposite gender, along with inner and outer turmoil.

[tw: mention of suicidal thoughts i have chiron aspecting my sun, moon, venus, mars, and mc (most of them being hard aspects), and have felt suicidal for most of my life. i've never really fit in anywhere and have always been at odds with both the masculine and feminine energies in my life. if you have this placement as well, i genuinely hope you're doing well bc this energy is hard to cope w sometimes.]

[`] film: 千禧曼波 millenium mambo (2001) dir. hou hsiao hsien

next

[normspellsman]

what sports i think the metkayina trio + spider would play modern au headcanons!

second part to what sports i think the sully children play!

slowly but surely trying to get thru this writer block & hiatus 🤞🏽

ao’nung

swimming and/or water polo

— he probably just naturally has a build built for water sports so he excels in it & is super cocky about it too (#blessedgenes)

— was defeated not given the choice on which sport he’d play when he was younger. both of his parents probably did either sport so they’d want him to also do it as well. or they at least wanted him to do one

— i don’t see him being the team captain but he’d def be co-captain or an alternate. he loves the sport don’t get him wrong but not to the extent where he’d be team captain. he already has enough pressure to perform well & doesn’t need that kind of title placed on him

— def see him being a butterflyer or a backstroker. like he much rather do those strokes in a swim meet than the other two

— is 100% the type of kid to have “eat my bubbles!” sharpied onto his arm or lower back during meets. probably begged his mom to write it on there too 😭

— also has to have the order of his races written on his arm so he doesn’t forget the order & where he’s supposed to go

— sees no point in wearing a swim cap

— always challenged himself by trying to score a point higher from his last game in water polo or get a better time in whatever stroke for swimming. he’d make sure to ask his parents to like reward him or something so he’d have the drive to do it. but even then, he’s still able to do it without the prize

— wears sandals everywhere. period. no arguments.a

— has such a bad swim trunk tan line. he really tries to get it even in the summer or during swimming season by wearing speedos lol

tsireya

volleyball (indoor, sand, + grass)

— girl is graceful asf on the court

— position would probably be setter or outside i feel like. she might not have the height for it but def has the hops. like a secret weapon of sorts. you’d never expect it

— is 100% the team captain

— she is so supportive of her team & always makes sure that one of her teammates is not stuck in their head or blaming themselves for a bad play

— i can see her number either being 1 or some random ass number, like 49 or 27

— always has the best hair-dos on the court. she seriously goes all out

— def the designated braider of the team so she has to make sure her girls are looking fresh asf on the court too 🫶🏼

— very humble about her accomplishments & wins. she very much believes that an individual does not win a game, a team does so all of that congratulations should be projected to the team rather than on an individual level

— probably has this pregame ritual where she gets there super early to get used to the size of the gym/court. peppers by herself & gets into the zone 100%

— does volleyball literally all year around. so she’ll do school & club for indoor, sand in the summer, & grass for fun. it’s her whole life tbh

— ronal is 100% the team mom. no questions asked

swimming

— i can also see her doing swim, but like only for a club during the summer when she doesn’t have anything for volleyball

— her & ao’nung are the best sibling duo in this sport 100%. they’re always paired up for a medley relays

— she likes free style more than the other strokes so that’s her main event during meets usually

— isn’t as passionate about it as her parents or brother. would much rather do & play volleyball than swim

— is also the kid to have “eat my bubbles!” written somewhere on there body lol

rotxo

soccer

— i can def see him playing soccer & being like a striker or a forward

— is def the one that annoys the coach to no end & ends up causing the team to run laps bc of it. sometimes it’s totally not intentional. it just happens lol

— team clown 100%

— he doesn’t really score a lot of goals but he does assist his teammates in their scoring. has the most assists on his team (idk if that’s a thing in soccer)

— has the most weirdest celebrations ever whenever he does manage to score

— been playing since he could walk fr

— jersey number is probably something like 14 or a random even number. bro likes even numbers for some reason

— is a really versatile player & if need be, can play goalie or be a defender if a player is out sick or injured

— def plays for his school & local town club

baseball

— can def see rotxo playing this as well

— most definitely a catcher (idk why but i just see it)

— probably only got into it to work on his soccer skills somehow or to work on his eye & hand coordination since he’s quite good with his feet & eyes

— only plays for his school since soccer usually takes up most of his free time

— lowkey has a wicked curveball

— he likes the catcher uniform bc it looks like he’s an autobot from transformers lol

— surprisingly somehow became captain & doesn’t know what to do with that title most times

— really good at determining calls for the pitcher & suggesting what they should throw next

spider

hockey

— no one would expect someone like spider to play this sport so everyone’s shocked when he says what sport he plays

— probably a defenseman & has the most penalties on his team lol

— ^ will literally fight everyone on the ice if need be. he plays dirty & truly doesn’t give a single fuck

— not a team captain but probably one of the alternatives. he’s more on the silent side regarding his “captaincy” but has the ability to talk his teammates up when they aren’t playing very well. bro has a way with words fr

— a lot of people think he’s a playboy hockey player but that’s FAR from the truth. he barely has enough confidence to talk to a girl on & off the ice. poor boy just shuts down

— since he’s like 6’0+, his build is really intimidating & he uses it to his advantage. def slams others into the boards as hard as he can when they’re down however many points. like, just imagine a 6’0+ dude like spider skating down the ice at literal lightning speed to slam you into the boards. i’d be shitting my pants fr

— started playing at the age of like 4 or 5 probably

— he loves skating so much that he goes to the rink or puts on rollerblades & just skates around to calm down or let out some steam. it’s really his outlet

— his number is most definitely 69 or 96. some funny shit like that

— will also defend his teammates with his life on the ice if someone were to fuck with them. that’s his family. he’d do anything for them

— ^ especially their goalie. bro is only gentle with their goalie & if anyone fucks with them, you best expect his gloves to be thrown & knuckles bloody from how hard he punched. ride or die fr

— nicknames probably consist of spider (obvi), kilometer (for miles lol), socks (for socorro), ironfist (for how much he gets into fights), & oreo/orro (for socorro)

— has the talent & ability to potentially go to college for hockey. he puts so much time & effort into his skills & the sport & it def shows through how he plays

[colourful-void]

[truly off the charts levels of aitsf nirvana initiative spoilers]

some thoughts on mizuki date and mizuki kuranushi

the whole timeline switch thing is admittedly: cool as fuck. love it conceptually. its neat as hell. in practice i think it required some of the game to be a bit... strained in logic and perhaps if we were less committed to clone Mizuki and some other aspects it would feel a little less like we had to rob Mizuki (Date) as a character to make it work.

I can explain why i feel this way:

Don't get me wrong, its set up really really well in a lot of places. i see now which is awesome. the set up isn't so much the problem, there definitely could've been a bit more in the set up but overall it's solid.

my problem is that, in order to make this work, Mizuki and Bibi need to be functionally indistinguishable from each other not just in appearance but in personality. NOW there are key differences I noted which was very good!!! I did see this, i just think like, the fundamental concept means they have to be significantly more similar than they are dissimilar and that makes for....

Okay like:

Mizuki and Bibi having the same scooter? Fantastic, it's mentioned early on that's abis provided, of course they're the same. having the same gun, sure even, it might be a 'mizuki custom' but if we assume mizuki date didn't actually care that much about her gun's specifics I totally see boss replicating the first one. I'm sure bibi would've wanted that too. Having the same PIPE is bothering me. Because now we're verging into some nature over nurture territory.

Mizuki Date loved that pipe when she was 12, it's something she picked up afaik after coming to live with date even, bcs she didn't have it when she was getting bullied in school. Her having one makes sense. But bibi has a pipe, seemingly because... Mizuki has one.

So then, was it a unique choice Mizuki made when she was younger, or does 'being mizuki' mean predestined to wield a pipe? (i can also see Bibi like, watching over mizuki and deciding she also wants a pipe but that's only slightly better because it's still externally denying the characters individuality) [A minor way of adjusting this could be having Mizuki Date only ever use the pipe, and Bibi only ever use the Evolver.]

There are some good moments of them being different i can recall off hand, bibi talking about her younger sister (mizuki) for example, to shoma, etc. but like. 90% of the time you're not supposed to be able to tell them apart. So they think the same way, and act the same way, and when you're playing a game literally in the brain of a character its hard to even pass off as just, presentation or a front. and i wanna be clear i know there are minor differences.

Bibi doesn't react to Date's appearance in the warehouse (because she didn't know him like Mizuki Date, but also looking back since that was in the past like, Mizuki Date wouldn't have reacted either.), I think there's a little difference in how bibi and mizuki treat boss, maybe? But since mizuki is still playing around with boss and giving her puppy dog eyes in the first investigation scene when That's Mizuki Date and not Bibi, it doesn't quite land.

Because the small pool of people who actually know, Ryuki and Boss and all have to TREAT Mizuki Date and Bibi basically identical for this to work. And again, you can stretch it. Boss is trying to maintain professionalism, etc. But it's another layer of them being... basically the same.

Mainly, my biggest problem is less everyone else and how Mizuki Date and Bibi think and act.

Mizuki Date and Bibi are allegedly two different characters. They're given two different backstories, and lived two very different lives. Despite that, aside from a few minor hints and character quirks, they behave and interact indistinguishably from each other. And that kind of cheapens both of them as people.

Like, we just had this whole game that had everyone saying "if this hadn't happened, if my father hadn't been killed, if this child hadn't been kidnapped, if So Sejima had just kicked it at 20, maybe none of this would've happened, life could've been so different" and then also showed us 'Even if your life was extremely different you would still think and act exactly the same'.

TC-PERGE and alcoholism was a huge part of it, but the cited reason for a lot of Ryuki's behaviour is the trauma right?? Like it comes up multiple times, but the unique traumas that both Mizuki's faced? I guess impacted them exactly the same. or not at all, in Mizuki date's case because we never get proper resolution on the whole 'you were adopted and then your adopted parents couldn't or wouldn't raise you properly so gave you off to Date, who then disappeared." i'm still entirely unclear on who was the guardian of this 12 year old child after that.

TLDR

i think a lot of this twist is really cool conceptually, i'm on board with a lot of it. But in practice, Bibi and Mizuki are only different characters because of their wildly different backstories. They think and act identically, despite having such different circumstances which should lead to different thoughts and actions. In a game where the final Somnium ends in a long chain of "What ifs" where it's characters ask if they could've lived differently had just a few things been different, the central characters appear to demonstrate that no, they wouldn't.

and that kinda bums me out.

[mikuyuuss]

i still think about your older post about female demon slayer character designs 😭 i go back to it a lot and it has made me put deeper thought into how intentional the design choices are in gotouge's part. i wanna know if you have any other thoughts on the design choices of the other characters??

Omg sorry the delay. Idk why I wasn't notified of this but I'm glad u liked my old posts, even if the writing is kinda messy and all over the place, pls forgive me (I still do stand by a lot of my thoughts on it, if you can look pass the grammar errors)

I'm not sure if I can still make another detailed analysis for all of them, I did the girls before since there's only four of them, so its easier (and then giyuu just because XD) but I do think Gotouge did a great job with all of them. The hashiras definitely stood out to me, and I'll try to summarize.

I like that they are all wearing very customized uniforms. It really shows they they are a unit while still being unique individuals. I know some people found their designs kinda ridiculous and weird at first, but I think Gotouge simply took the classic "Almighty student council" trope in anime where a group of people within an organization are so powerful and above the rules, that they can be as weird as they want. I think Gotouge applied that trope to the hashiras, and dialed it up to show how strong and unique each of them are.

I think it works for them. It adds to their charm. In kny, we rarely see the characters doing things outside of demon slaying, so giving them over the top designs and breathing styles, help give us a little glimpse into what kind of the person they are and what we think their hobbies could be.

If you just look at Uzui's design, you already get the vibe that he's someone who enjoys fireworks and explosions (and he does!) He even has nail polish on his nails, which shows that Uzui takes good care of his looks and is stylish, maybe his wives even paint it for him! He used to be a Shinobi, someone who has to live in the shadows, but everything about his design is loud and screaming, which really tells us about how sick he is of his former lifestyle.

With Muichiro it's hard to pinpoint, because there's a sense of mystery to him. Everything about his clothes and his hair is plain and loose. The way his hair moves sometimes covers obscures his face, which very much matches his mist breathing. It's all intentional! It shows how Muichiro didn't fully know himself.

With Himejima he has a very top heavy design to show how strong he is and to match with stone breathing, he has very earth colors. I do like that the scar on his forehead is horizontal, bc horizontal motif expresses stability and it could imply his gentler nature, which is why it's no surprise when we learned that he's into cats, and cares for children.

With Sanemi, everything about him is rugged. His scars are mostly diagonal, even the belts on his ankles are diagonal. He doesn't seem like someone who cares about aesthetics. He just wants to show how angry (and hot) he is. His overall design isn't that colorful either, except for a few hints of green. I like that green is mostly a calm color yet used for someone aggressive like Sanemi, maybe this could imply his hidden kindness? Also LOVE the design of his swordguard, the little spikes forming a pinwheel! It adds a little playfulness to his otherwise angry design.

With Rengoku, he is ketchup mustard, guy fieri aesthetic from head to toe. Everything about his design is super straight forward which matches his direct, honest and extroverted personality. I also feel that red and flame motifs are things that are very much favored in shounen media. Either that, or green to which red and green are complimentary colors, so it makes sense why his relationship with Tanjiro ended up being so important. The moment I saw Rengoku I knew he was going to be especially important bc of his design.

With Obanai, the stripes really compliment the socks he gave Mitsuri, which already shows their connection. Most people are already aware about the stripes on Obanai's haori and how it relates to his backstory, so I won't go over that anymore. I like the how Mitsuri has thin stripes vs Obanai's bold stripes. It shows the contrast between them with how Mitsuri is sweet yet physically strong, while Obanai is not as strong but has a more aggressive personality. Vertical stripes are often associated with prisoners and social misfits, which is a motif that is very fitting for him and Mitsuri.

I recently learned in fashion school the saying that "A good design should serve its purpose." It's less about whether it looks good or not, that's subjective. As long as there's clear aesthetic that serves its purpose (expressing the characters) it's already good fashion, so kny characters are stylish af /jk/lh

[broodwolf221]

cole—spirit or human? 

this, like all my meta, is just my personal feelings or interpretation: I am not trying to claim any kind of objective correctness, or to dismiss those who feel otherwise. I remember conversations about cole being somewhat strained so I'm hoping ppl aren't going to be super weird on this post. 

so—cole. I've played both routes and I actually enjoy both of them, but I'm strongly inclined towards making him more of a spirit, and my reasoning comes down to three primary aspects: 1) respecting cole’s autonomy and his choices up to this point, 2) acceptance of an “other” way of being as equally valid to a “human” way of being, and 3) making him more human feels weirdly to me like asking him to replace the real cole in full rather than be himself

1—respecting his autonomy.

cole states early on that he became more of who he was and less human, and that it lets him help. that's a choice he made. on a personal level, even though he's just pixels, I find it deeply uncomfortable to unmake the choice he made about his nature. I understand that he's shown as happy and fulfilled regardless of which path you choose, which is part of why I like both, but this is why I prefer the spirit path: making him more human feels, to me, like the inky is making him more… palatable. or like the game is giving a “comfortable to the player” option. I felt this way when I first played dai when it was new, and I continue to feel this way now

he is happy in both and that's nice, and i like that there's no strong delineation of a right v. wrong choice. at the same time, i've always gotten the sense that cole wants to be more spirit—maybe not because it brings him joy or satisfies him, it could well be that he just believes he will be more useful/functional as a spirit, but even making "bad" decisions (which i don't think this one is, but for the sake of argument) is an individual's right and part of their autonomy

2—acceptance of an “other” way of being as equally valid to a “human” one

in a watsonian, in-text view (which does tend to be my approach), I think it's very important to accept the personhood of spirits, even when they're so fundamentally different. spirit!cole forgets things, can erase negative experiences, etc.—there's a lack of what we'd see as typical growth and maturity going on there, but I'd argue that we can't really effectively apply human (or “mortal” ig, bc elves, dwarves, qunari…) norms to a spirit. 

cole as a spirit of compassion is the way a spirit is supposed to be. the way a spirit is supposed to be is not the way a mortal is supposed to be. and to me, it does feel like his preference throughout the game is to act as a spirit. he stays "pure" and "clean," and that allows him to help without becoming corrupted or changed. it's tempting—and not wrong—to view this through a human lens and to find it unhealthy for him, but i tend to defer to solas' explanations of how spirits are in this case. they can easily be corrupted because they are a Single Thing. that is their nature. wisdom is wisdom; changed by perception, expectation, memory, or pain, it becomes something fundamentally different. spirits are malleable in a way mortals are not

3—replacing the “real” cole 

tbf, this one isn't really supported by anything in game, just a personal discomfort. but he “became” cole after the young man's death. honestly, I find that a little uncomfortable, but I can understand it: the textual “simplicity”/purity of spirits makes sense of that kind of reaction to compassion’s “failure,” its inability to help the real cole (according to its own standards where help=fix: it did help the real cole by being there) 

so, to me, it reads a little like you're confirming that direction when you have cole become more human. ik it's not presented that way, but yeah, personally just makes me uncomfortable bc it feels like I'm encouraging cole to view himself as a replacement of the real cole 

spirits can come back, but they are the sentiment that gave rise to it in the first place, not the individual being itself. compassion taking on cole's name in the first place feels like that to me, but becoming more human feels like it's taking it a step too far. bc then cole becomes a young man who's taken on the face and name of a dead man and it's… it's a lot. for him to grapple with down the line, for the people around him, for everyone. but as a spirit, that kind of behavior feels more like a way of recognizing and respecting the being that came before 

and of course, cole isn't 100% either—he's more human or more spirit. so it's fair to say that it'd still be a sign of respect and acknowledgement of the real cole even if he becomes more human, it doesn't turn automatically into a Bad Thing, and the complexity can honestly be fascinating to explore, bc i imagine as more-human he will develop some complex feelings about all of it

[shamebats]

There's a wider societal issue that affects pretty much everyone and feeds into transphobia and it's the socially conditioned fear and demonization of certain bodily changes.

Originally, my thinking was that it's body changes in general but then I realized that actually, depending on your environment and how you were socialized, you might fear and desire different ways one's body can change. My partner is a cis man and was socialized as one and he sees greying hair as a good thing bc he feels like it'll make him look hotter and probably also in big part bc as a man you gain social status as you look older, you get taken more seriously in a way that elder women used to as well but now less and less.

Depending on how you've been socialized and what you've internalized from it, you might be terrified of gaining muscle but eager to lose weight. You might be terrified of gaining fat in certain areas (belly, arms) but not others (chest, butt).

The inverse of that is not wanting to be skinny/scrawny and wanting to gain lots of muscle.

If there was a pill that made all your body hair disappear (but not on your head) without major side effects, most women would be all over it. That's not a body change they would fear. But most ppl are terrified of losing the hair on their head.

We fear body changes that we are told from society are scary so much, we might never consider them on our own unless we see people go through them and be fine or even choose to go through them willingly and find joy in the results.

Most teenagers might find puberty scary and confusing, but they still want to go through it. They want the body changes it brings and if they don't start going through puberty at the same time as their peers, that's a problem for them.

But there are some body changes some will never be comfortable with on an individual level. I'll never be comfortable going through pregnancy and some ppl would never choose to go through having an abortion. Some ppl aren't comfortable with having any tattoos and some would hate not having any.

If we accept this about humanity, this diversity of desires and preferences for our own bodies and how we would like to shape them, accepting trans people is a no-brainer.

We have to accept that other people will make decisions about their own bodies that we might not.

We have to accept that there's always a social element to our choices. Someone who has lots of friends go through pregnancy and having kids at the same time might be more inclined to want it themselves. Maybe if all their friends were childfree, they wouldn't have made that decision at that time, or maybe they would've anyway, we can't know for sure. Just like a trans person with lots of friends who have chosen to get a certain surgery might be more inclined to get it themselves.

If we accept that the first example isn't a reason to gatekeep medical care, then we have to accept that the latter isn't either.

So my point is ok fine, you say that there's a "social contagion" that contributes to more ppl being trans and wanting gender affirming medical care...what about it?

Explain to my why it should be treated differently (by law & medicine) than having children bc of family expectations or getting hair transplant surgery bc you're insecure about your balding head or losing weight or gaining muscle due to societal pressures to look a certain way or getting a tummy tuck after pregnancy or any other choice ppl may make about their own bodies.

At the end of the day, all we can do is work on building societies that are more accepting of bodies in all their natural and unnatural diversity, and even if we ever achieve that fully, we will never have a way of truly knowing which choices are less or more valid than others, we'll just have to trust people to know themselves.

[brainlessrot]

Ranking NRC dorms on how much I would trust and like their cooking -

fair warning: I've skipped like most culinary croucible events and forgot 90% of the ones i played, so this is all based on my subjective reading of their vibes and the limited canon knowledge i could gather in my brain

Contents: As the title says +individual characters ranked

Characters: All dorms + students and teachers

1. Scarabia

do i even need to explain this one??

One of the first episodes in their chapter was literally cooking with jamil

I LOVE middle eastern food. give me hummus and some pita bread and im set for life.

Pre scarabia arc jamil would be a dangerous choice, but post chapter? im gonna be knocking on his door with bribes so that he gives me any extra food he made 🙏

not kalim tho, yall stay safe

(also wrote this while at Agrabah's cafe in disney land, so my opinion might be skewed)

Continues under this cut!!

2. Octavinelle

Mans whole bussiness is food

if im paying for it i better be getting something good

but would NEVER try to ask any of them to cook for me (for free obv) bc i dont think that would end well (for me)

Jade?? mixing mushrooms he found somewhere

Floyd? forgets and goes somewhere, now the kitchen is burnt

Azul? nuh huh 💀 i aint seeling my soul for some toast

theyre like, Norwegian/italian i think?? and idk much about Norwegian cuisine but like italian is soooo good 🤞

3. Heartslabyul

Only for the sweets (i might not trust trey but i have a sweet tooth)

I dont mind tea, but they better not bring out their British cuisine out

If i see any fish n chips im evaporating from that table (lies, free food is free food)

i wanna go to an unbirthday party 😔

riddle would cook something too healthy and would count my calorie intake 💀

ace or deuce? id better be getting ready to get intoxication

cater... i just dont see him cooking

4. Pomefiore

listen... theyre mostly rich pampered boys, so would they even be cooking?

i dont trust the source of Rook's food

epel would only give me apple based foods (tasty, but gets boring after a while)

Vil would probably give me those weird natural green smoothies AND I DONT WANT THAT 🤬

+ i dont like french people (jk)

5. Ighnihyde

listen

HEAR ME OUT

ik theyre all nerds and all they eat is instant ramen

BUT GREEK FOOD.

all for that greek yogurt 😩

idia doesn't know how to cook except for instant foods which i dont mind (he gets favourite character treatment)

ortho,,, questionable. He has access to the internet (aka infinite recipes) but would it taste good? hes like 10

6. Savanaclaw

sweaty men.

i should just leave it at that ngl

leona? rich ahh man (a GROWN man at that!! 20 whole years of age!!!) and he probably doesn't even know how to fry an egg

ruggie? no way he gives me anything good for free 😭

Jack is the only one i would trust, but man probably also drinks protein shakes and those sad chicken breast and rice meals.

7. Diasomnia

no thank you

i like my soul staying where it is.

i dont trust their magical food

lillia is not even my last choice if im ever hungry, he aint a choice AT ALL

Malleus... he probably doesn't know how to physically cook?? sure he can bibidi babidi boop me some food like the giant fairy godmother he is, but i want something real man 😔

Sebek... protein shake man...

Silver MUST know how to cook (living with lillia would be imposible if not) so if i HAD to, I would go to him, but i dont want him to fall asleep and faceplant on my food 😭

+ Characters Ranked in tiers! (students and teachers)

The best, five star Michelin food:

Jamil, Trey, Trein

You could be happy eating:

Vil, Epel, Floyd, Silver, Azul, Ruggie, Crewel

Its food:

Jack, Cater, idia (if making instant ramen) Ortho, Sam

its... food?:

Rook (seriously, where did he get that?), Jade, Ace, Deuce, Malleus (the food is uncorporeal), Sebek, Vargas

dubious taste, would rather not:

Riddle, Kalim, Leona (its just a slab of uncooked meat), Idia (if trying to cook real food)

call 911 BEFORE eating please:

Lillia, Grim, Crowley

[mpsansy]

Could you give me a full breakdown of their relationships (how each of them view the others, regrets, fears, insecurities, favorite memories from life and/or death with the other) to each other and Casper? :>

Oh, for sure! This may or may not be a big one. And perhaps one ask I go all over the place for. We'll see.

I'll start off by saying that the trio's relationship is a real unbreakable one. Even if they're worlds apart, the bond they got is real sturdy.

Stretch in Fatso & Stinkie's eyes have always been seen as the leader who can get his head in the game real quick. Can be a fun ghost or an all out brutal spirit that would look at you in the eyes as he shreds you to pieces.

Fatso in Stretch's and Stinkie's eyes is the entertainer. The showstopper who doesn't seem to get mad easily. Gonna have to be more than big words to take the fella down.

Lastly, Stinkie. In his brothers eyes, he's not such a dummy. I mean, they did think about him as that once, but with him reclaiming his memories that all flipped.

In conclusion, they do think greatly of each other. At least by a normal degree.

Additionally, they were raised to understand that a healthy brotherly bond will transcend any borders that could be made. In life and in death.

Their mother, of course, being the one who taught them this. She was always so smart and wise beyond her years.

And on that note, some of their favorite memories do involve their mother. Some would be cooking with her, playing with her, even learning a language that they're father couldn't understand at all.

All of them were clear mama's boys who wanted to make her proud. Not something they'd remember now as spirits, but regardless. It's important for me to say with my version of all them.

I've mentioned their regrets before [here], so I won't say it again. But fears? Hm, well I supposed they already had to live through them.

Fatso's fear turned reality-

Franklin dying in his wife's arms. Never getting a chance to see what beautiful children they had together. Unexpectedly becoming an absent father to his twins, not by choice. One can only hope his daughter Eleanor and son Florence understood that about their father.

Stinkie's fear turned reality-

Silvester losing all his mobility and feeling his throat close up from the poison that took him. That wasn't the worst part. The worst part was that he was all alone throughout the whole situation. He didn't have anyone to hold him just as he took his final painful breaths.

And finally Stretch's fear turned reality-

Simon. He saw a woman who he cherished with all his heart slit her throat in front of him. All in a desperate attempt to breathe, as blood began to spill straight down to the ground.

But wait, it gets worse for him.

Now he had a boy. A boy who he had every right to call HIS SON fall to his death meeting the ocean below.

Yes, it could've been worse like Casper's body being claimed by the ocean. But that pain of feeling that boy's body be completely cold and limp? Flesh from his head shredded and part of his skull exposed??

Simon honestly didn't even care how mangled & cold Casper was, that man held that boy so tight. Letting out the most gruesome scream that made every person stand in pure silence.

A scream of a parent losing a child. If you've ever had the displeasure of hearing it like I have, it yanks at your entire being.

Him slowly losing everyone he loved with all his soul was a fear that came true.

Extra bit:

I can't say exactly how different they'd think of Casper on an individual level (mostly bc this ask is too damn big to add on), but I know altogether the ghostly trio see Casper as this child who holds great potential.

Although he's kind in nature, the passion the child has for protecting the only family he's ever known as spirits that he'd resort to violence? All in the name of protecting them, defending them??

It makes them feel so guilty for tormenting this kid for as long as they did. And the things they did, what they said ro him? They can't take them back.

All they can do is apologize. Sure hope they try to be calm and collected about it. Wouldn't want to choke on the words they need to tell their beloved nephew.

Casper's best memory is of him cuddling up to his mother and presumed father at the time, Simon. How he could remember that memory is odd because he was barely three, but it was so happy for him. He felt wrapped up in love & warmth. Protected by the world he'd soon know to be harsh and brutal beyond comprehensible thought. But in this very moment? He didn't need to worry about all that.

Casper was with his mom and dad. Forever loved and cradled in their loving arms.

Casper's worst fear was just ending up alone. Abandoned by everyone and seen as a failure. Shares part of that fear with his mother and if he had to experience that as a ghost? He'd lose it.

Off that, they don't have any insecurities. Or at least none that I can think of right off the bat.

[splashstar01]

Merlin fanart & the problem of black hair erasure

I want to preface this by saying that I love & appreciate ALL fanart (even ones where they practice this black hair erasure) and I appreciate all artists so, so much. But I've noticed an unsettling pattern....

Merlin's hair is often depicted as brown in artwork. It happens so often now that I almost don't realize it. At first i didn't know why it bothered me so much. But then I realized...

Colin Morgan obviously has black hair... the same shade as most people of color (Asian, Hispanic, black people's, etc).

The lighter shade of brown depicted in most fanarts is most definitely more a white person's color and not Merlin's at all.

So I have to ask, what's with this black hair erasure? 🤨

It's subtly racist-esque, if you ask me, particularly when black hair is an important part of many people’s identities (I myself have naturally black hair as a POC). Do those artists think black hair isn't good enough? These changes can unintentionally perpetuate the idea that certain features, like black hair, are less desirable or significant.

Why do artists feel a desire to 'dye' his naturally black hair brown? lol I genuinely don't get it, and it'd be rude to ask an individual artist this (which is why I'm making a post instead). Is it bc they think black hair is boring?

When I draw characters, I want to stay as true to the character as possible and I fall in love with the character's features. I have no desire to change hair or eye color.

No hate on artists who do this, but I'm genuinely puzzled & I'd love to get an artist's reasoning for changing such a fundamental aspect of a character, bc I'm honestly at a loss for the reason. I used to be an artist before my disability, so I know with art, every color and detail is carefully thought out. So like, what happened during this thought process made them look at this:

and think, "Ah, yes, he definitely has brown hair right there."

Anyway, I hope this post can raise awareness among artists about how these choices might be perceived and why they matter and raise awareness for representation in fanart! <3