#bc im also trying to focus on stuff irl

[painfully-unoriginal]

lil sketch of piranha as a swamp monster i guess

it was supposed to be for halloween but im not finishing it LOL

[tiredsmashbros]

the fact i finished this at 4:04am is crazy....

anyways, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO THE BIRTHDAY BOY @libbytwq !!!! 💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛🍔🍔🍔🍔🍔🍔🍔🍔🍔🍔🍔🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈

BEEN TRYING TO FOCUS ON FINISHING + DEALING WITH IRL STUFF BUT I SRSLY WANTED TO GIVE U JUST A BIG O'L TREAT BC U DESERVE IT MAN AND YOU'RE JUST SO INCREDIBLY AWESOME UGIHJRFECDSHIJKECDSXILHKJ,BM IM NOT LATE NIH UH BUT I'VE BEEN MEANING TO GIVE U BACK A DETAILED PIECE EVER SINCE ARTFIGHT GUHHHHH AND TO GET BACK AT ALL THE SILLIES PIECES YOU'VE MADE FOR ME 💛💛💛 I SRSLY ADORE EACH OF THEM WHY MUST I BE SO BEHIND AAAAAA UIGHJEDW

BONUS, WANTED TO ADD AS MUCH REFERENCES I COULD WITH THE SILLY BILLY POSE, AND LOREEEEEE IN THE BG ;3c AND OFC THE MAN'S CATCHPHRASE OUYIHFEDC

guh i'm tired. im hungry. and now i'mma go sleep so hard rn ong

also btw this was they "gay burger art" i was streaming IUGHJVEFDCSUHIKJEDWCS

WITHOUT TEXT + BG / TRANSPARENT VER GUHBJKDNMEXWS:

and ofc yuri 🌈💕

[logansbaby]

CLOSER | DARYL DIXON

SYNOPSIS ❥ On the road, you can’t seem to focus on anything other than wanting Daryl to fuck you senseless. Because he’s such a good boyfriend, you get what you want.

Pairing ❥ Daryl Dixon x Fem!Reader

Content warnings ❥ 18+ content (MDNI), porn without plot, creampie, unprotected p in v, oral (daryl receiving!), dirty talk, car sex, basically reader being feral (like we all are)

Word Count ❥ 2.3k

A/N ❥ hi my loves!! long time no see, i know </3 been busy with stuff irl but i wanted to get this piece out for you all as a thank you for hitting 100 followers! it means the world to me <3 hope y’all enjoy this, im squeezing my legs as we speak bc whew. and also, the picture is purely there to generate imagery, there are no descriptions of the reader! xoxo, sammy

— ⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆

“You let me violate you

You let me desecrate you

You let me penetrate you

You let me complicate you

…

I wanna fuck you like an animal

I wanna feel you from the inside

I wanna fuck you like an animal”

Closer by Nine Inch Nails

— ☾ ﾟ｡⋆

“What?”

His gruff voice spooked you from your lustful haze, where you’d been glancing over at Daryl every couple seconds. You shook your head in a fruitless attempt to clear your sinful thoughts, before meeting his eyes.

“Hmm?” You spoke softly, it was all you could do in your state. Oh, how you wanted him to pull over and let you have your way with him.

“Been starin’ at me since we got in the car. Do I got somethin’ on my face or what?” Daryl sounded annoyed, but you knew him better to just be deeply confused by your actions. You couldn’t exactly blame him, it’d been over twenty minutes and you’d barely spoken since you both had left for a supply run.

But you couldn’t help it. With your panties soaked, slit slippery and clit throbbing in neglect, you were desperately trying to act normal.

Clearly, you’d failed.

It was Daryl’s fault; you’d been fine until you saw him leant against a porch pillar, lighting up a cigarette. You couldn’t explain it because you’d seen him smoke before, but something about the way he looked then had your thighs squeezing, breath catching.

He was busy talking to Rick, blowing smoke as he spoke intently. His arms were bulging, muscles on full display as they moved to further prove his words. The vest did nothing to offer cover and with his pretty lips wrapped around the cigarette, you felt faint. His brown locks were shaggy, covering his eyes in a way that made you wanna tug them as you kissed.

Simply put, you’d wanted him to ruin you.

“No, baby. Jus’ look pretty today is all.” You sighed, now staring at him shamelessly as you leant against the car door to have him in your full view.

“Pretty?!” Daryl scoffed, affronted at the very suggestion. Even so, his ears heated up and his cheeks tinged the slightest shade of pink. “Can’ say I've heard that one before.”

“You are,” You promised, voice filled to the brim with adoration for him because yeah, your archer was fuckin’ pretty and deserved to be told. “Look super handsome today.”

“Shut up.” His gruff voice sounded, rolling his eyes at you as you’d made him flush again.

“I’m serious! Got me all flustered, ever since this mornin’!” You huffed, voice whiny and light, throwing your head back against the window for relief on your heated skin.

With your admission, he averted his gaze from the road to you, silently groaning at your blown out pupils, the pink flush dancing across your cheeks and down your chest.

Jesus, you were serious. How the fuck was he supposed to continue on driving when he had his girl next to him, needy for him?

“Fuck.” He spoke, noting that you had now taken your seatbelt off and were shuffling closer to him. “What’re you doin?”

You’d opted to take an old pickup truck and there wasn’t any middle console, just a continuation of the bench. For what you had in mind, you silently thanked whoever came up with that design.

“Pull over, Daryl.” With a breathy voice, you pressed a wet kiss onto his neck. Hearing a hitch in his breath, you licked up his neck until you reached his scruffy cheek, moaning as you did so. “Please, need you so bad.”

The car jerked suddenly as you palmed his strong thigh, teeth nibbling on his earlobe. He felt himself harden in his pants at the feel of your dainty hands touching him, of your plushy lips soothing the sting your teeth had left behind.

“Can’t, sunshine. It’s not safe to be sittin’ in the road bein’ distracted.” He spoke with regret, especially as your hand palmed his dick over the material. He wanted you safe though, and he wasn’t lying when he thought it was dangerous to pull over in the middle of nowhere. “Just wait til we get— fuck.”

His words muddled into a string of curses, car wobbling again as you’d released him before pulling his cock from his pants, zipper undone.

“Wanna suck you off.”

And shit, with the way you were looking at him, with the way you wet your lips as you looked at his dick, he wanted to stuff your mouth full.

“Dammit, you’re such a fuckin’ brat.” You bent down, level with his crotch as you gawked at his exposed dick, precum now bubbling at the tip.

You licked your lips at the sight of white, pearly beads and before he could process it, his engorged tip was in the warm confines of your mouth, suckling soft and slow.

“Cant ever behave, can you? Jesus, baby.” He looked down at you, grunting as your eyes met his just as you swirled your tongue over him, dipping into his drippy slit. You hummed at the salty flavor of him, giving a few more sucks to his tip, before releasing it with a ‘pop’, a string of saliva connecting your puffy lips to him.

You’d only stopped because you noticed he’d let off the gas, the car barely even moving down the deserted street.

“Drive.” You demanded, gripping his base and jerking at a teasingly slow pace, eyes piercing his pretty blue ones. You leaned in to his face, licking his bottom lip before sucking the soft skin into your mouth. Daryl was so unbelievably turned on from your behavior that your voice barely registered. You released his lip, planting a wet kiss onto him before looking at him again. “Drive the car, or I’m stopping. It’s not safe to stop, remember?”

And from the snarl that appeared on his spit-slick mouth, you knew you’d pay for saying that.

“Nah, I can’t focus when your mouth is o—“

“Drive.”

Your command surged him into action, partially because your bratty attitude was making him throb and partially because he needed his dick down your throat, now.

The engine roared as he pressed down on the gas. Then, he gripped your hair tightly, scalp tingling as he made you look at him.

“Suck.” When you made no move, because you’d been too fucking entranced by how hot Daryl was, especially as he yanked your hair roughly, he grunted. “Now, your pissin’ me off with your little fuckin’ angel eyes.”

His words, along with his grip on your hair, had you parting your lips and sucking him down.

The car was filled with the filthy noises your mouth made as you switched between licking him from base to tip and then wrapping swollen lips around him. His taste was overwhelming your senses and your cunt ached to be filled. The rumble of the car kept jiggling your body and you gagged around him as you slid lower onto him.

Tears pooled your lash line but instead of letting up, you bobbed your head up and down to hear more of his groans. The only time Daryl was truly vocal was when you sucked him off and shit, if it didn’t make you wet.

You snuck a hand around to pet your pussy, the throb becoming too much to ignore, when Daryl suddenly pulled you off him. And the sight of you had him bucking into the air; a mix of spit and his precum coated your lips, your eyes wet from crying on his cock, hair messy around your face.

You looked so pretty like this, all cock-drunk.

“Don’t get to touch yourself, not with your fuckin’ attitude.” His tone was so gravely, so assertive that instead of being annoyed, you whimpered. “Now, get your pants off and c’mere.”

It was only then you’d noticed that he’d stopped the car, trees surrounded the vehicle as nothing was in sight for miles.

Your demanding act was far gone; you needed Daryl inside you.

Without another thought, you clambered from your kneeling spot and wiggled out of your pants as best as you could, though your movements were jittery as Daryl watched you the entire time, eyes nearly black with need.

Finally free, you swung yourself onto his lap and moaned loudly; his cock, hard and still coated in your spit, rubbed at your thinly covered cunt as you sat atop him. The buckle of his pants was cold and you jolted as its coolness hit your puffy clit.

“Fuck, Daryl.” You gripped his long strands, yanking as you humped him. The sight of you all whiny and pathetic for him made him grunt lowly before catching your parted lips in a kiss. “Mmph.”

Immediately, the kiss was obscene. Daryl rubbed his tongue with yours, swallowing your whines as the muscles danced with one another. Spit was pooling at the corner of your mouth and as he pulled away, a string of saliva connected you both.

Breathing heavily, Daryl reached between you both and pulled your underwear to the side, swearing as he did so.

“So fuckin’ wet, honey. All this for me?” His eyes flickered across your face as you stared back, lust drenching your features as you huffed.

“All for you,” you gasped, lips bumping his and fingers pulling his hair. His fingers found your entrance, marveling at how fucking soaked you were. Daryl leaned into you, capturing your mouth with his as you whimpered into him as he shoved two fingers in at once.

For a bit, thats all it was and it was a fucking sight. You, clinging to Daryl as you greedily kissed him, moans spilling from you as his fingers filled you. Him, fucking you with one hand whilst the other gripped your ass harshly, pulling the flesh as he rocked you against his fingers inside you.

You would’ve come like that, if he hadn’t then removed them just as your orgasm tickled your gut.

“What the fu—“ you were cut off by Daryl as he shoved his fingers, the ones that were just inside you and therefore covered in slick, inside your parted mouth.

“Shh, thats it.” He marveled as you sucked and cleaned his fingers like the good girl he knew you were.

Pulling them from your lips, he dragged the wetness across your cheek before crashing his lips to yours. You both made noises because the musky and sweetness of you lingered on your tongue. With your taste coating his tastebuds, he snapped.

Daryl parted from you before one hand gripped you and the other grabbed his cock, moving until you were sinking down onto him.

Your cries mingled with his groans; your tight, wet heat sucked him down and finally, he was inside you and filling you up, just like you’d wanted.

“Fuck, Daryl.” You whined, hips swiveling to get used to his size. You were torn between the relief of being filled to the brim and the discomfort because of how big he was.

“This what you wanted, huh? Just so fuckin’ needy you had to stop us in the fuckin’ road?” He grunted, a calloused hand coming to grip your throat, the tightness steadying you. “My filthy girl.”

Then, he thrusted up into you and the sound you made was like a symphony of music to his ears. Spurred on, he kept thrusting into your pussy, groaning at the wet, slippery sounds filling the car. You were so overwhelmed with pleasure and the feel of him that you just clung to him, rolling your hips and humping your clit against him as you took each thrust he gave you.

Though, one particular move was so fucking deep it had you mewl, fingernails digging into the soft skin of Daryl’s neck.

“Daryl,” you gasped, euphoria pumping through every crevice of your body. The buckle of his belt was now slick as your clit continued to hump. “So big— uh, uh— so big.”

His hand gripped your throat firmly, fastening his pace as helped you move with him by lifting your ass in tandem with his hips.

You were a mess; blubbering nonsense to him as your cunt repeatedly clenched down on him as you grew closer to your peak. Daryl was so high on you, your pretty sounds, and suddenly, he needed to see more of your skin.

He removed his grip from your ass to yank your shirt up and he let out a grunt as he saw your absence of a bra. Then, without any other preamble, his lips wrapped around a peaked nipple, sucking wetly.

The mix of his mouth making out with your chest and his cock filling you up at such a haste pace had you crying out, tears spilling down your cheeks as you shuddered on his lap.

Your orgasm had triggered his own; the feel of your sopping pussy squeezing him and your cry of pleasure sent him over the edge.

His moans were animalistic as he filled you to the brim, thrusts losing their rhythm as he pumped his spend into you.

“Daryl—“ you whispered, suddenly exhausted and wanting him closer to you, despite your limbs being intertwined with one another tightly. “Baby.”

“Such a good girl,” he spoke into your neck, making no move to remove his softening cock from you. Even if he did try, you wouldn’t let him. The crazed feeling you’d felt was finally soothed, his cock inside you released relief throughout your body.

Daryl brought a finger between your thighs and his cock twitched inside you as he collected both your orgasms. “Open.”

Because you’d do anything he told you, you wordlessly opened your mouth and moaned as he stuck come covered fingers between your lips. He watched you as you sucked his fingers clean, eyes hooded with tiredness.

“C’mon, gotta get home.” He patted your waist, adoration swirling in his chest as you made no move to return to your seat. In fact, you just scooted closer until your nose grazed his sweaty neck.

“Thought we needed to get stuff.”

“Nah, we’ll just say we couldn’ find anythin’” Daryl brought a hand to your hair, gently brushing your head as you pressed kisses to his collarbone.

You both stayed connected for awhile; maybe two minutes, maybe two hours. Being close with Daryl was exactly what you’d needed to feel a little less feral.

Though, as you both finally rolled through the gates with messy hair and flushed faces, everyone looked at you both knowingly.

[deathdetermineslife]

how do you manage to get any followers or friends in the selfshipping community? is it just luck?

for months i’ve been trying to interact with others and follow people, engaging with stuff like ask games and hosting reblog games, but when i try to share any artwork or i reblog an ask game myself, its radio silence. like even in small discords i get ignored so bad

i don’t say this at all to be guilt tripping /gen, it’s genuine curiosity at how this stuff even works. like am i doing something wrong or is the community just like this?

here is my comprehensive and lame guide on How To Get Selfship Followers

step 1 - posting

so a lot of my posts are either kinda general or fun. folks I will not lie to you. these are all stupid shit that come to my mind on a day to day basis. for example, today, I thought, "man I'm such a loser I'm not in college like all my friends r" and then I was like "omg wait. i could make a post out of this" so I did that.

you also kinda gotta be conistent. so i try to post at least *something* everyday. even if its a reblog, tho, I don't reblog a lot of things other than ask games.

another thing with posting is that i do try to make a lot of community based content. so idk if yall remember but in the beginning of my account, I did the "things you can do if you have xyz f/o". i did like,,, I think almost 100 of those ?????? it was a lot. then I started making templates and I made some ask games and ofc I post a lot of general like,,, imagine stuff. oh also polls. people seem to enjoy polls.

step 2 - be positive

this is the big thing. as most of yall (hopefully) know, I do not fw proshippers !! but I don't talk about discourse unless its directly brought up. not only this, I put a big focus on just,,, being nice idk. like id like to think I'm a pretty down to earth person.

if you make a template and people tag you in it, say something nice! reply to peoples art, send in asks, things like that. i try to do my part in being nice. i also just like hearing about peoples selfships.

when people post promos and have the little "rb to be moots", reblog! when you come across someone having a bad day, maybe they made a vent or something, reply with a simple "I hope you feel better <3" or "your f/o loves you <3". things like that, ya know?

step 3 - have fun

genuinely. i post as much as i do because I like it. i didn't go into this thinking "oh... yea... I'm gonna get selfship famous..." like no I just wanna ramble somewhere bc none of my close irls r selfshippers.

you wont get popular or get followers because you grind out posts. literally one of my biggest posts on this account I wrote while I was half asleep one night and wanted to test out queuing on my account.

and in that regard, it is partially luck. i don't control what posts people do and don't like. sometimes I write up imagines and no one sees them. sometimes I write up a post saying "lol go kiss your fake boyfriend ooo smoochie smoochie" and that does numbers

step 4 - interaction

im only in two servers. one server (which was the first public server I think I ever joined ???? i could be wrong tho,,, bad memory blehg) that I don't own and then my own 18+ server. i don't think being in servers does anything,,, considering I'm only in one that isn't mine. i think its more like ,,, sticking to one or two places ?? like just being consistently in an area you're comfortable in.

i guess you gotta just find the right people ??? and like I mentioned, be friendly, but ya know. also I guess tags too? idk if you look at any of my regular posts I have 8 million tags on them. idk if that actually does anything or not because its kinda hit or miss sometimes.

i was gonna say something else but i forgot. see look listen I dunno how I got here but this is what I do ,,,, effectively nothing. also with the being kind thing, maybe this is how I am bc I'm pagan but I think that if you expect kindness back you wont get anything. sometimes its just nice to be nice. eventually you gain a reputation for being a nice person. you kinda have to not want that tho? like I don't see myself as particularly like ,,, super kind ,,,??? i just do what feels right.

step 5 - uhhhh idk im just rambling now

i guess i also went into this kinda like. damn sometimes this community is a cesspool of absolute meanie pants. i don't wanna be a Meanie Pants and just post my thoughts and the things I think about. i guess how I see it too is, I kinda like ? idk I think all these things anyways why not post them? kinda feels like a waste not to.

also ive been told my posts are pretty recognizable bc of how I format them ? my dividers and such. also tagging all of my imagines and stuff with my 🥀📜 emojis. i guess that helps too? because that's how I recognize certain accounts. "like oh there's them I recognize their dividers and their tags".

also you kinda gotta like,,, not let hate get to you. like have fun with it? i know that's hard, but, that's what you gotta do. when I get printer ink (bc. a hoe does NOT like buying printer ink) im printing out that fucking 8 mile long hate message I got sent. but also that's just the kinda person I am. like people being a dick and stealing my posts and telling me to swallow a glock 9mm doesn't upset me, im more like,, confused more than anything because never in my life have I ever sent hate to anyone. also I have had this "I do not care because you're some loser on the internet and you being an ass wipe is no where near as bad as the shit people have done to me irl" attitude.

TLDR; i dont think youre doing anything wrong because I don't exactly know what I'm doing right. i just... do... and sometimes, "just doing" is enough. maybe its luck, maybe I've been blessed by the tumblr algorithm and I've somehow figured it out, or maybe the community is just genuinely that bad and they pick favorites. maybe its all of the above! who knows. i try not to worry about it. i think at the end of the day, as long as you're having fun posting about your f/os and selfshipping, that's what matters.

alright thats all see ya. if you have any more questions feel free to ask however I fear I cannot answer them </3

[300iqprower]

id say in the case of karna and arjuna its objectively speaking probably being enabled by the writing far more than any of the other examples you listed bc the market for homoerotic male rivalry stuff (esp if theyre related for some fucking reason) is absolutely insane. idk exactly how intentionally they were gunning for it from the start but i seriously doubt (as in, even a het dudebro otaku would have to be seriously out of it in nerd culture to not know about the kind of market they appeal to) they didnt know what kind of crowd they were baiting when they decided to introduced karna's previously teased half brother who was also the guy who killed him by introducing him on the same banner karna was released on, as his thematic and also COLOR CODED foil, having them have the same linked trial quest, focusing every story chapter and almost every event they appeared in and all their interpersonal conflicts around their og conflict, and also making the profile of said brother hyper focus on karna to the exclusion of everything else in a way that made little sense when you think about how much actual irl stuff there is on arjuna.

at least in the case of nobukatsu or the dioscuri there's either not much about the person beyond their relationship with their more famous sibling or theyre mostly known for being a pair (not that this justifies the incestuous sub tones but ykwim), but fgo intentionally took a very famous hero with TONS of legends about his life and reduced him completely down to one interaction with one man, and then ramroaded him into primarily interacting with said man as 'the most significant thing in his life.' they also took karna who previously was more nuanced in earlier fate works and pared him down to focus more on interacting with arjuna and i do think it was to a degree intentional, even if it was purely 'im sure their fans want to see them interact' (for shipbait)

and this is probably bc they know they can make a fuckton of money selling posters and merch of karna and arjuna together by banking off their popularity as a ship regardless of how hamfisted it is, all while maintaining plausible deniability that that's what theyre trying to do. not to mention the doujin network bc if nothing else, stans of gay pairings will write that stuff long after every other artist has left for greener fandoms.

ALL OF THIS

[faunabel]

woahhh. i just had another lucid dream. i havent had one in a while. and i will make u all hear about it!

so i woke up. then i wasnt fully awake yet, only half awake in my body which is hard to describe if uve never experienced it, and decided im back in my dream. then suddenly i was back in the hallway of the dream i just woke up from, as i was in a hotel room for some reason. and i looked down at my hands to ground myself. the thumbnail on my left was torn up. it isnt irl but i couldnt remember in the moment but i anchored myself to that. anyway the dream became much more vivid and clear visually, and i walked into this living room area where i could see myself in the reflection of a tv.

and so to try and make stuff happen, i made my boobs shrink bc they looked their regular size and theyre already quite big. and it worked! i watched them shrink in real time in the reflection of the tv. so i was like yay that was super easy, so i made them back to their normal size again. also i was wearing the same black t-shirt i'm wearing irl.

anyway some other stuff happened i will not be sharing and i woke up again, and i was aware of how DIFFICULT it was to breathe and i didnt immediately slip back into the dream so i gave up because it kinda feels like you're suffocating ngl. very uncomfortable. its like sleep paralysis except i can move whenever i want but it has that same feeling of I Am Dying because in that half asleep state, ur body is shut down and put to rest obviously and its weird being awake in that state. i always struggle to breathe because i default to quicker breathing and my bodys like NO we are SLEEPING and im like Hm i dont like that very much.

anyway i think the reason i dont stay as long as id like in lucid dreams is bc i forget to incorporate my other senses. bc im always so dissociated irl it makes sense. i only focus on visuals and forget the other stuff. i noticed the dream slipping again and didnt reground myself well enough to stay. maybe next time!

[wainwrightjakobshammerlock]

some headcanons on eden-6 fauna and flora bc im deranged 👍

there's a lot, and i mean a lot of termites, many of which feed on wood. to combat this, certain trees developed toxins which course through their sap, which are specifically tailored to fuck up the termites' digestive systems. humans don't give a shit about the toxins, but the areosolized forms of a few of them are actually very pleasant smells (the wood is reserved for high-end weapons or fancy furniture, usually), plus the bugs don't eat their fancy oldtimey wooden stuff

eden-6 just has a lot of big bugs in general, relatively speaking. nothing like spiderants or varkids, but many isopods, dragonflies, mosquitoes, etc. the swamp muck is chock full of nymphs and larvae a sizeable portion of the year

oh and gastropods. most have no shells (aka, they're slugs), as even the "dry" season is very humid

orchids. lots and lots of orchids. epiphytes in general but there's a shitton of orchids. they take advantage of the moist air to focus on growing large leaves, trying to capture as much light during dry season as they can

glowing fungus. idk why i just think this planet deserves it. some form lichens, which are probably one of the gnarliest looking lichens in the whole borderlands

there's also a lot of carnivorous flora (majority of carnivorous flora irl is native to swamp environments, which are poor in nitrogen), and they grow to pretty big sizes

the dominant taxon is definitely reptiles (saurians), coming in many many varieties. you probably know of the trex-esque grogs and such, but there's other ones! here's some saurian facts because i love them:

there are no "true" birds on eden-6, but there's quite a bit of archaeopteryx-esque small saurians that fill a similar niche

many of the smaller, more "primitive" saurian species exhibit amphibian-like traits, such as webbed feet, the ability to croak and frog-like eyes

saurians are primarily nesting creatures, caring for their young and viciously defending their eggs (and they have a reason to do so, since jabbers love to steal them). despite this, a few still evolved into dedicated ovivores. based

the "horns" on larger species are actually adapted teeth, growing elsewhere on the body, used as intimidation factor, weapons and defense against being eaten

speaking of teeth, saurian teeth do not have pain receptors and are replaced quickly, sort of like shark teeth. you can file them down to not stab you and it won't hurt them one bit

[taegularities]

Hello lovely Rid 💕💕💕

First of all...

okaaaaay 👀👀👀 I don't like seeing sad Jungkook (or sad Rid for that matter) but short hair Jungkook makes me crazy, so I'll take it.

Also I wanted to ramble about who I'm a bigger simp for, since you posted that cruel poll making me choose.

So basically, I'm really really obsessed with c&f Jungkook and I can't even pinpoint the exact reason why? I've said this before but I've never been more whipped for a man who I don't fully trust so quickly. There was just something about him that had me from the beginning, even with his very questionable looking intentions. So I'm a big simp for him in a more base level way? Like it's almost involuntary lmaooo.

And then for cmi Jungkook... I mean he has my whole heart. He might be my favourite fictional Jungkook ever actually... Literally all sides of him (that we've seen so far) I'm in love with. Just writing about him right now has me going 🥺🥺🥺. I'm ready to protect him at all costs and he also makes me crazy (in all kinds of ways). maybe i'll save the love letter for him for the cmi anniversary i mean what?

I love both of them a lot though. Thinking about both the c&f epilogue and cmi8 gives me emotional whiplash.

Other than that though, how are you doing, Rid? I saw that you're feeling a little sick and once again I'm ready with all the virtual blankets and tea and hugs since I can't take care of you irl 🥺 I hope you get through it very very soon!!!

I've been feeling very emotional and a little melancholic myself recently. But today I listened to d day and it actually made me feel loads better, Yoongi just always knows how to comfort 🥺 I also got started on a paper that I'm excited to write, for which I received unexpectedly good feedback while I was still at the planning stages! Trying to focus on the good things and set up a good base for when my exam season starts.

I hope you feel better soon Rid, sending you all of my love 💞💞💞

IVI LOL, you really do point out the subtlest things !!! did not think anyone would catch that haircut bit, but look at you :'))

i think you're a simp for c&f jk bc you know a good man when you see one... despite his initially questionable behaviour, he truly is a sweet bean who tends to act monstrous (in bed) at times lmao so i understand the obsession... :')

and i know, cmi jk is just 😭 thank you for loving him so much, tbh he might be my fav jk i've written so far too :(( my lil baby :(( and i can't wait for his return :((((

thank you, ivi !! :') i hate that this happens, idk why i get colds so frequently ?? like i spent most of yesterday and today napping and it sucksss lmao i want to be productive, too :') but i'll take the blankets i love you 🤍🥺 so happy you've been well !! despite the melancholy... i get that feeling. there must be something in the air, bc everyone's been very emotional these days. i'm so glad you have stuff you can look forward to, though, and i hope that mood stays bc you deserve it 💕

(also i've been wanting to say this — i know you said i don't need to be, but im so sorry for being slow with answering at times... you send such thoughtful and incredibly kind thoughts and then i feel bad. but i want to answer just as thoughtfully and the current time has been beating my ass lmao sorry again but i love you rambling and will always get to it bc i love you so fkn much 😭🥺🤍)

[quenthel]

oughughug ed stuff (also some tmi stuff)

i have been recovering from my ED pretty well... learning how to enjoy meals and not overeat all the time im even a little bit distressed/ reward myself with other stuff than food so my relationship to meals have changed... i also got much more into cooking than i was bc of dunmeshi too and i enjoyed the philosophy of cooking and eating meals from that manga so much legit helped me a ton to think about it more and really internalize it. Like reading that manga really made me reconsider what i think of food and that made it easier for me not to fall back into old bad mindsets as much (but i do sometimes still its a work in progress)

And like I lost a lot of weight bc of this (i just eat a little less move a little more and give more time and thought to my meals) like its been still a struggle for me esp in the beginning and by this point im losing weight very slowly like it took me 8 months to lose 10kg while the first 8 i lost in like 2 months. And while this food journey was overall good for my mental my body got much much weaker psychically esp my endurance because its a large change. Im not sad about it because being overweight (and still being overweight lol) was making me miserable (and the societal hatred for fat people was part of that ofc, but also mostly it was caused by some beliefs i have about my own self worth its a big issue) but I feel like no weight loss post or story or anything talks about this. I also started to exercise and so far some of it has been harder but some of it has been easier. And i still need to work a lot on appreciating my own body and truly inhabiting it in a sense like being at peace with it and not fighting it and connect to my own body as its part of myself and not just something im in. Like its part of me. Funnily enough the times i really felt that connection were the times I was spending a lot of time together with other people like irl (when i had a huge friend group and we drank a lot together or when i was w my ex lol).

Like at this point i weigh less than i ever remember weighing (even in my teens lol) and i still have a long way to go. But i would not have done it without being supported by my friends and parents like i dont think anybody can come out of toxic mindsets without opening those doors and asking for help or knowing that they HAVE to do it for other people (like my dad recovering from alcoholism because he was scared he will die before seeing my brother and me grow up). Also its funny that around the time i started really thinking abt my own body and my health and really asking for help (in therapy too) to make me truly healthy, not working on it in isolation like i did after beating disco elysium was around the time i started thinking abt being trans too. Like realizing that my body is me made me think more about my own gender too. I’m also thinking a lot abt starting HRT but that would be impossible for me bc of my country (idk if i can even do that abroad but maybe...) but I don’t want to yet since I want to establish my body mind connection first and THEN see if i still feel like I should.

Anyway im around halfway done with my weightloss plans and its been 9 months. I originally wanted to recover fully and reach that weight and develop habits to exercise regularly in 2 years but since im moving soon i might not be able to focus on this as much or maybe its going to get easier... who knows. I still feel like I’m a work in progress tho both bc of therapy and bc of this but also because i really feel like im JUST starting to become more of an adult because im thinking about these things (and its making me more sad that i cant be financially independent yet but im trying to be patient). But it feels like im currently at a point of my life when im changing for the better overall and while I struggle a lot its not as bad as it was before so thats pretty hopeful...

[xamaxenta]

FUCK OK HERE WE GO ILL TRY TO REMEMBER ALL OF IT CAUSE YEAH IT WAS PRETTY LONG SDKJHLFG

So Marco sees Ace being pinned against a wall by one of his producers and the first thing he wants to do is tackle him to the ground and maybe throw in a punch or two but he just stares daggers into the man and keeps his voice even as he asks, "Am I interrupting something?" He tries his best to keep his calm if there's even the slightest chance he's misreading the situation.

Ace's eyes dart back and forth, anxious out of his mind and lowkey mortified marco found him like this and his leg is trembling from his injury and he curses himself for his voice being gone as he tries to speak and keep calm as well "My,,, my leg hurts. I need-- help,,"

Marco knows he's telling the truth in a surface level way and a deeper way. Yeah, his leg really looks like it's killing him, but the way Ace's voice almost broke when he stuck on that last statement. Marco is able to easily pick up what he means.

The producer shoots a look at Ace and growls at him. "You didn't tell me about that. You," he looks at Marco, "You get out of here if you know what's good for you."

Marco approaches and puts his hand on the man's shoulder, firm and tight, and tries to show the man some patience and understanding cause despite how much he wants to clock this guy in the face he knows producers are important and this really should be solved as smoothly as possible like "I've come to find him to take him to a walk-in clinic, his leg is really bothering him and it needs to be looked at."

The man releases one of Ace's wrists to slap Marco's hand away and face him more and he scoffs at him, "You've got some nerve, you nobody. I need to speak privately with my star here, if you could--"

Ace can feel the animosity growing and Marco wanting to murder him with every passing second, so suddenly Ace starts gasping and wailing and collapsing in on himself and holding his leg "M-Marco! Marco, it really hurts! I think something's wrong!!"

And that puts Marco in zero-in focus mode on him like ace oh my god whats wrong are you okay can you stand can you walk let's get you out of here and the producer is too stunned by the sudden screaming like oh my god this really is an emergency

Marco practically carries him to his car and drops him in the passenger seat and he keeps up the act until the doors are closed and Marco's driving away and its a real quiet ride cause marco tries to question him asking if hes really okay (first about his leg then about his mind) and ace is almost disassociating and shrugging him off cause in reality he's feeling absolutely horrible about himself cause not only did he let that happen to him (he's supposed to be stronger than that, hell he could probably benchpress the guy's weight and yet he still cornered ace like a scared rat) he let marco see him weak like that. hes so pathetic marco's gotta think hes so pathetic now and its not a fun interaction that ensues

*prints this off ten times and stuffs it in my mouth*

This is some HAUTE cuisine my compliments to the chef holy shit yall anons are COOKING

I love dramatics, i also think whether Ace was very much in pain or not utilising drama to get out of the situation is smart of him poor thing :(( youd have to be a giga asshole to ignore someone saying theyre in pain when there’s a witness (unfortunately this is common irl but yknow im not going to focus on that bc its . Sad)

AaaaAAAAAA BRIDAL CARRY THO can i just say the vibes immaculate

The amount of comfort n care after this encounter in the safety of the car is driving me insane like

Ace realising he can relax and feel safe, his manager might be blowing up his phone rn but he just turns it off hes tired and overwhelmed

[seiwas]

for the ask game! i’ve always loved how you write your stories, the way you set the proper tone and dialogue that the mood you’re intending for the story feels so palpable! so am mainly curious about 3, 46, 68 👀

nonie this is so sweet!! im so touched 🥺 thank you 🥺 this means a lot!! i've been trying to improve on each of those aspects lately by centering certain fics around them (ex. one fic will be more dialogue-heavy, another will focus on a specific tone, etc.). hearing that you notice em makes me so happy 🥺

putting this under the cut because it gets kinda long!

get to know your fic writer ask game!

3. Describe the creative process of writing a chapter/fic

omg 🥹 i usually decide one thing to focus on in a fic, whether it's a concept, a theme, an aspect (like dialogue etc.), and then i write an outline based off of that! 🥹 it doesn't have to be a super detailed one (though it helps), but having the scenes/events laid out in bullet points guides me in the process of writing (so that i don't forget certain things i initially wanted to include).

i also write chronologically. i know some people don't and others encourage writing scenes based off what comes to them in the moment, but i have yet to figure out how to do that 🥲 the ideas for scenes can come to me non-linearly but when i fully write them, i prefer to have it done in order just so i stay consistent with the details i put (bc i like to do callbacks/references most of the time!). i also think it's easier for me to follow the development of a character's feelings/thoughts when i write in order 🥹

i google stuff whenever i need to but typically just go with the flow of the writing session. i think my process is pretty straightforward that way! i'll usually take note of things that i want to reference at some point of the fics but that's pretty much it! i would say the way i approach writing fics also differs depending on its genre and content!

+++ the first line/hooks of my fics don't usually come to me first, but when they do, it helps guide the tone of what i write! the same goes for titles!

46. How would you describe your style? (Character/emotion/action-driven, etc)

very character and emotion driven i think! a lot of the 'plots' or 'concepts' of the fics i write are driven by the characters themselves/emotions i want to explore through their perspectives. i consider characterisation the most when i write and think a lot about how it ties into everything they do, which is why i feel like some of my fics tend to lean towards somewhat character studies sometimes. the way i write also focuses on feelings more than the external things happening to/around the characters, if that makes sense (like, i mostly describe how a character feels vs. what's happening to them).

i've been trying to play around with my style lately because i've been wanting to branch out! it's actually goal of mine to one day be able to write something that's a bit more creative and plot-driven 🥹

68. What, if anything, do you do for inspiration?

playlists + moodboards! my pre-writing ritual is to always listen to songs that inspire the fic! i usually draw inspo from there. i don't make moodboards all the time but they're helpful for longer fics! that's pretty much it though 🥺 sometimes i'll be inspired by a reel i see, or something that happened to me irl. other times it's also when i'm in the gym 😭 i try not to force the inspiration unless i have to do it for a request or smth! i also read a lot of fics!! it usually helps me get in the mood for the character if that makes sense.

[ribbitdeltarune]

the post like i said. its been 2 days later (maybe a bit more. im a bit late at this point..) But! 14 of november! My birthday !!! :p didnt do anything for myself but i did spend some (more like a ton) time with friends

so ahead will just be rambling . read if u want

Alriiight so. i am. Dead. i dont post very often . Thats bcuz i dont actually have a active online presence when it comes 2 posting lol this is sorta my first time . however i did post a few times on twitter before and got a decent following but that was basically never anyway . Thank you all for (checks notes) 19 followers! That. is a first actually

however i also kinda have 2 apologize since i dont post a lot which makes this account.. uh, semi-inactive? shrug. as i did mention before in a prev post i am holding back a lotta stuff that i havent posted yet . oops! i personally dont like posting irl photos because 1) i am actually dogwater at taking photos, 3) my camera quality sucks and 2) i dont actually draw on A4 paper very often or like notebook paper at all lol. (its this small one thats more like a notebook to write stuff down stuff you gotta remember, an agenda or whatever. not like i care i use it to draw anyway. it aint got lines its just full white paper (sometimes colored depending on the one i buy) so its for drawing in my view.) but the bad thing is most drawings i made of ribbit so far are... On Paper.

Now. I can just upload them as is but i dont like doing that . i can also just make them digital drawings but if you think im capable of doing that without immediately doing something else you may be wrong

Speaking of thats mostly why this acc is also semi-inactive . whenever i DO draw digitally im probably also doing another thing at the same time so i get distracted and then get stuck on doing something else completely and forget i have to draw!!! Oopsies. im also bad at executing things (''man im gonna draw ribbit right now'' (doesnt do it) (its also a 50/50 if i actually do it or not)) so thats part of it. do i Think posting and/or drawing ribbit stuff is a chore? Not really. i actually like drawing stuff 4 this fandom and im attached 2 the characters + the mod anyway so its not like im gonna stop This soon . not even a year in yet!

I also have a lot of ideas so i hop between 'em a lot (i have so many animations/animatics in mind but guess who cant animate and also drawing frames take longer than just drawing sighs)... thats why most posts on here is just doodles so far .

to be fair though i have been in a . Uh. I guess fine. Maybe a bit bad headspace as of a few weeks now so i havent really gotten the urge/want to post rn and who knows how long that'll take to go away anyway. thinking of trying 2 get sum stuff finished and then queueing a few posts just so i can get some brainworms out of ma head . and Who Knows if i'll really do that. Future Is Mystery!

Oh and to add i still need to finish or get to like maybe the 5th chapter for a fic im working on rn so theres that too. im still on chapter 4 (progress is fine. i think ill rewrite the dream segment?) and then i will Hopefully get 2 work on chapter 5. god bless being unable to execute things AND to spice it up focus on things (sarcasm)

i am however kinda busy these days. Schoolnstuff. I get in drawing moods a lot (literally everyday bro i dont get burnt out easily or get demotivated that much bc i just finish it eventually anyway) but i need to pass math to pass the year itself so maybe no art posts until thats done. i might post every now and then though. Speaking of posting! Did you know VeeReMia is actually a pun on viremia which is, ''a medical term for viruses present in the bloodstream''. vee came first as part of the instrumental theme, and then maxine added the other syllables. Fun isnt it (i cant stop thinking about it now)

Thanks for reading . I think thats all. Maybe. Shrug.

Also current pfp is placeholder i also need 2 make one BANGS FISTS ON TABLE REPEATEDLY

[ishifted-jdayz]

hiiiiiiiiiiiiiii shifted again. guys i fucking love my wr. infinitely more peaceful than my cr (niece is currently screaming in the other room) but idccccccccccc bc it was so easy to get there i literally just said "im gonna go to my wr" and then went to sleep and woke up there again. my cat pib was there in my bed purring and the sun was coming in through the window MAN. its fucking sick

ate some delicious sushi for breakfast (ik, im just not much of a breakfast guy) and it was awesome, then curled up and started sketching while watching s3.5 of my fave show again. spent some time outside walking, then went back into my big ass library greenhouse thing and decided to learn some more languages. it is so fucking cool guys also english is the silliest language fr. french is a close second. my fave rn is mandarin which is important for some drs of mine but idk the tonal changes slay

saw my horse todayyyyyyyyyyyy shes fucking huge. deep brown w black feathering at the bottom. i tacked her up and took her out riding a bit. god it was so fucking nice to be on a horse again. i also noticed im much more flexible (which is nice bc i scripted it but i forgor) and being taller than my cr is also like jarring to come back to i was so used to it 😭😭😭😭

but yeah i took my horse up to the creek and stuck my feet in thereeeeee best feeling ever. i scripted that i Can tell the like. difference between cold and Wet (because fun fact humans in this reality cannot feel Wetness, its just a change of temperature/pressure! we dont have the nerves for it or smth idk) so THAT was cool. dk how to describe it but yeah it was super cool.

anyway yeah we meandered into the forest a bit and i saw a fucking moose which was crazy. ive never seen one irl before theyre SO big holy shit. i grabbed an apple from a tree and brushed it off and then ate it while i rode it was just so nice. guys i love nature 😭😭😭😭

then i went back home and cracked open a book to read. in my cr im rereading the series bc i forgor the context bc itd been 10 years since between when i last reread and getting the final book, but here i just did the "know" thing for the other four and then started reading the fifth <3333 its so fucking good so far.

idek how long i read for bc??? the hours there seem to be longer??? idk that whole day felt like so long but in a good way. idk time is fake ANYWAY. read a lot and then finally went inside. ate more sushi bc i can but i decided to try Every One from my favorite sushi spot here so i know which ones i like and which ones i dont and well. my faves are still my faves but ive found some good onessssssssss SLAY. i love being able to like. eat however much and not feel sicky like i can just Make myself feel hungry again and then i am and can continue eating. there were def some that i like crossed off my list as stuff i dont really care for but 1) not many 2) ive got a higher spice tolerance now so Even Less than wouldve been in my old reality, so idk dude we are just fucking slaying. also i love my hair there its perfect it doesnt get in my face when i dont want it too but it looks so good MAN

ok next things i want to do when i go back probably practice piano again, get a hang of the violin and flute, just focus on instruments. languages are fun but also instruments babey!!!!!!!!!!! im loving this so much fr GOD ITS SO FREEING!!!1 ok

[synthetic-sonata]

god i want to focus on rp blogs and my pokemon irl blogs ( also rp blogs but a little to the left ) but my art motif is so shot rn . and also nobody ever rps with randos on oc rp blogs and trying to get that to happen is really frustrating and hard. w poke irl stuff its prob ezier via tagspamming but im not as into it as i was in my depression era . also bc idk i like poke irl blogs that are looser. and also i like pokepasta and theres only a few of those that mix. hmm ..

[ljbrary]

20 questions for fic writers

tagged by @anxiety-banana HEY AB ILY I'M SORRY I KNOW YOU TAGGED ME IN THIS A MONTH AGO SO THIS IS SO LATE BUT STILL

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

22

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

101,550

3. What fandoms do you write for?

right now ive been writing for the last of us but most of my fics are star wars (specifically most of them are the clone wars) and i have one six of crows fic

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

all of them are star wars fics

lean on me (but let me laugh, first)

don't fix it if it's not broken (but broken's only a point of view)

fill the hollow space with silence (and other words of comfort that aren't so comforting)

it's a process (you wouldn't understand)

it's not good grief (but it's better)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

i think i get to most of them and i seriously try my best to but like i struggle with replying to even my texts irl and i have no concept of time at all (the adhd is adhd-ing unfortunately) but every single one literally makes my life

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

i think either the love only lasts so long (the grief lasts longer, the guilt never leaves) or this silence hurts worse than the truth (if only you would tell it) which are quite literally the same exact situation just from different povs because i have never had an original thought in my life. it's post-mortis arc in the clone wars with anakin and ahsoka and the transparently trauma-shaped elephant in the room between them.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

i honestly have no idea? so im just going to say my tlou fic statistically significant because although its bittersweet it ends with joel and ellie together and thats literally all i need to be happy at this point in my life.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

no, but i probably should.

(that was a joke. but like if i did its fine bc i have 3 brothers who've already found my ao3 and bullied me for it so the hater would prob need to get real creative after all that lmao.)

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

no

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

no i dont have the executive functioning skills necessary to plan one of those out but they sound interesting.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

guys my fics aren't that good. if someone stole it they'd just return it no worries.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

no i haven't but that would be sick.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

like ab said in her post, ab, ash, and i tried but it just never came to fruition but it was a fun attempt

also my older brother and i when we were younger tried to write a percy jackson fic together.

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

i like found family more than romantic stuff, but if i have to choose definitely percabeth because they are the reason i have unrealistic expectations in life.

15. What's the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

ALL OF THEM IM SO BAD AT FINISHING THEM

16. What are your writing strengths?

thats so funny lmfao

okay but self deprecation aside idk maybe like imagery or metaphors sometimes? also apparently writing emotion ig? my english teacher in high school told me i was good at the psychological aspect of understanding a character and their actions/emotions but i don't know man

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

for starters, starting. im supremely bad at starting things. i always struggle with intros/the beginning of writing pieces. and i struggle with plotting/planning things. i also am incapable of writing genuine dialogue, every conversation i write sounds so disjointed and awkward. i also tend to focus too much on the introspective aspect of characters and forget about that irrelevant little thing called a "plot."

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

i made up my own language for a few star wars fics and it was so atrocious that i can't even bring myself to reread them again so i think i'll be staying away from that one for a little while.

however if i was smart or savvy enough to pull it off i would totally do it that would be sick.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

percy jackson when i was 10 years old on wattpad. my older brother and i co-wrote the fic and then i made my friend at school edit it on the computers in the library. still have yet to live that one down.

20. Favourite fic you've ever written?

weighted words hurt more than loaded fists (if you know how to use them) i have a soft spot for it even though it's one of my least popular fics in terms of like hits and kudos. its just a found family (shocker, i know) modern/foster care au with rex and ahsoka. i like the imagery, metaphors, and just the vibes overall.

okay leaving this open to anyone who wants to do it!!

[invisiblyvisiblejay]

okay i think maybe my relationship is like. rescueable as long as i stop!! doing!! fucked up!! shit!! like apparently my irl communication skills are not at all like. refined?? i guess?? so ive done like rly fucking inexcusable stuff twice (laughing at her when she said something serious (worst thing ive ever done that will haunt me forever), calling her girlfriend a terf and then going on an extremely defensive rant abt transmeds without giving her any opportunity to talk (second worst thing ive ever done i don't even think her girlfriend is a terf!! i never have!! i got very carried away and that will also haunt me forever) (second worst bc i had literally any explanation for my behavior whatsoever like still absolutely fucking inexcusable but the first one was like what the actual fuck there is zero reason that is ever appropriate and the second one was like. i got carried away abt something that is actually upsetting to me but it was not an appropriate way to deal with or engage that conversation whatsoever)). so i have to make sure that i don't fucking pull that shit again. im going to try to be rly conscious abt like. staying calm during important conversations bc i think that's part of the issue. i don't like reign my shit in and think abt what's appropriate and i have to be careful to do that. i can absolutely have proper appropriate conversations abt important things (and we have done that) i just need to focus on. only doing that. like that's abt moderating my tone and keeping an eye on my emotions and if im getting too upset / defensive (and i told her that if i ever fucking do that rly defensive thing again she can just tell me to stop and i will and won't be upset. i usually don't realize im doing it (part of the problem)). so im going to try to be really careful abt that bc i think the only way to rebuild that trust is going to be to just. not do anything like that again.

and then second thing is that i don't initiate enough so im going to work on dealing w my anxiety and just. doing things. and we talked abt what she's okay w me initiating in public (bc i know im okay with more than she is, so i was letting her initiate which i did tell her but now i have guidelines so i can also initiate) and now that we've had that conversation i think ill be able to deal with some of my anxiety by being like. no u should do/say that to a) show u can initiate and ur listening and b) show that u want stuff and ur into this.

so that's the big stuff. communicating appropriately (or more importantly not saying or doing rly inappropriate fucked up shit) and initiating more. and being rly fucking grateful she's giving me a chance to fix stuff / improve. also i told her to stop implying i can't consent bc like wtf but i think the initiating will help with that too.

also im going to ask my roommate (who has known me irl for 2 years) if there's any other like. shitty communication stuff she's noticed that i should keep an eye on. so far its managing tone and emotions.