#bc i need a way to describe the way i do stuff vs people who have tails but only use them as like a side hobby

[endearing-dalliance]

the way the Arcane team romanticize the undercity disgusts me

Especially in the new art book, they talk about how Zaun and Piltover really aren’t as different as they first seem, as they are both heavily invested in technology. Zaun is a bastion of flamboyant body modification and innovative technology. They describe it as a refuge for outcasts who are looking for a home, where people are free from Piltover’s rigid rules and politics. A communal place with a thrilling sense that anything is possible. The Firelights are described as a group uses the freedom granted by Piltover not caring about them to find beauty and innovation. People are particularly interested in recycling technology and resources because "nothing is precious and everything can always be made better". Bc obviously that's why poor people fix stuff. They are definitely able to easily replace stuff at any time, but they want to strive for perfection...

In the same breath, they describe Zaun as being oppressed, crushed by Piltover, addicted to Shimmer, having “some issues with the mob”, dangerous, volatile. They talk about how if it was better, people like Jinx and Ekko could use their skills for good. This is the same place that’s a refuge for innovative, flamboyantly augmented outcasts to be able to make wonderful technology?

Notable mention: "we had to design a prison, and that was tricky because Piltover is supposed to be a city of progress - do they really put people in prisons? Maybe only people from the Undercity, and maybe they put them really far away" like seriously does nobody realize how fucked up that is? Your issue with it is the difficulty in designing the prison?

Like have any of these people ever actually met someone who lives in an irl place like Zaun? Heard of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs? Opened any book or video on heavily polluted urban areas?

On top of that, the undercity is filled with negative stereotypes. Many of the characters are “bad” in some way, whether that be missing body parts, mentally damaged, filthy, an addict. Their food is tentacles, a drooling animal head, and a dish that looks very much like slugs in mud sauce (vs Piltover’s “normal” sandwich). Many of the people are all dressed punk/goth/sexy and look “dangerous”. This season, I expected them to address those stereotypes and show how Zaun has equal value to Piltover. That those differences don’t make people hateable or disgusting or deserving of their misery. Instead, we got “actions have consequences” theme and a dying man who suffered from chronic pain and mobility issues his entire life being told that his imperfections make him beautiful. (She-Ra did that line already and did it much better.) Because using tech/magic to fix his leg and spine strip him of his humanity.

The team have said they were specifically inspired by the current political climate in the US, specifically the two-party system within one nation divided and unable to reason with each other. But that is an entirely different and incompatible concept. Zaun literally doesn’t get a vote, and that kind of lack of political representation is literally why America rebelled against England. Its not as simple as them just talking it out or getting a single vote. And for me it explains why the conflict fizzled out in season 2 and felt so unresolved. I was expecting independence, which is the only solution to colonial oppression, but the creators gave us a fix for the political party problem they thought they were showing. We only got to see the Piltie’s viewpoint of Zaun, and it was unflattering specifically in the ways that are in real life associated classism, body shaming, and cultural shaming. They were never redeemed or validated, and almost everyone repeatedly proved the Pilties were right about them all along. In season 2, all the bad guys were Zaunites (Jinx, Viktor, Skye, Vanwick, Singed kind of) aided by a foreign power also trying to use them, and the solution was for them not to be part of their world anymore. They were too broken, too evil, too violent to remain. And for the rest, their only use was to die protecting the Pilties from one of their own people (whose autonomy wasn't even respected by his own partner and became his own worst nightmare). Instead of it being this glorious, Marvelesque fight where everyone bands together against one common enemy, it’s just another situation in which they are brutally exploited.

And I would genuinely be OK with all of this as some sort of tragic story that ended terribly for everyone and there was no real solution or progress, just more bloodshed. A tale of caution.

But the creators have been very clear that they feel that this is an appropriate ending to the story and the individual characters’ stories. Specifically, they are pushing this idea that the finale was to show the characters facing the consequences of their actions. But the characters themselves aren’t the problem, it’s the society that they are living in that basically corrupted everything it touched. Mel and the council manipulated and pressured Jayce and Viktor into making weapons instead of technology that was designed to help people, while also ignoring Viktor’s steadily worsening health problems that *they caused*. Vi and Jinx were repeatedly traumatized, orphaned, and weaponized. Cait literally got away with being a dictator, but even she was manipulated by someone who was only ever able to establish power by taking advantage of the situation. Singed (OG Piltie) literally committed war crimes and got everything he wanted. And according to the creators, everyone got what they deserved. Piltover received no punishment or retribution for their oppression. The undercity got no apology or redemption/validation. Piltover got no significant consequences. They’re still in power, still rich, still have Hextech, still oppressing the undercity. And I guess that's what they deserve.

What a load of absolute horseshit. I had a lot of expectations for season 2, but "the arcane team are actually Pilties in the worst way possible" was absolutely not one of them. I'm genuinely devastated.

[basedonconjecture]

🎂 birthday fic rec exchange 🥳

yes, I will continue being obnoxious about my stuff elsewhere. but! my real birthday gift to me is spreading my agenda uh propaganda no no I mean the good news of really great fic written by talented people who have all, in some form or fashion, even if you didn't know it until now, kept me in the DA fandom much longer than I expected to be.

So! In the spirit of exchange and ✨fandom positivity✨, I bring you these offerings, then YOU (and I do mean you, if you’re seeing this, idc if you follow me or not or if you're already on this list do it anyway):

read all at least one

leave kudos and a nice comment

reblog with your own rec for ME (can be your own if you want! don’t be shy~)

we all profit

Easy peasy :) I have approximately 6 weeks of extra free time so get to recc’ing 👏 👏

the recs✨

amore amargo by @bygonesigh - E-rated Rookanis, sex-pollen-but-it’s-poison fic! Rook and Lucanis go to steal some ingredients for a sleep draught and accidentally get poisoned instead~

underneath the skin there’s a human by @complikatedd - post-Minrathous vs Treviso choice, canon genfic, emotional hurt/comfort Rookanis feat. my fave, Zita ‘Noodle’ de Riva.

the last train to nowhere - M-rated cowboy/western davrook au by the one & only @thedissonantverses whose other fics I also recommend but this one is new and very easy to get caught up on and has cowboy!davrin so dooooo it

prophets & promises - E-related Cullavellan longfic that I am invested in seeing in it’s entirety, so if you could all go implore (very nicely, very gently) @mythals-whore to post the rest of it, I would be eternally grateful (I bet you thought it would be her davrook longfic that I’m obsessed with and you should also read. well 😏)

considerations by @dymme - t-rated Emmrook!! From the tags: ‘the slightest bit of angst that is immediately resolved, they’re both besotted old fools’ emphasis on besotted dldjsjdjg it’s very sweet and funny and I will adore Maggs forever and ever and ever 🫶

spite isekai (ie., modern demon in thedas) by @ofcrowsanddragons - M-rated Lucanis & Spite fit that IS very clever and very fun and very hard to describe succinctly but you should all read it (and you should all also be reading their gothic horror pre-canon rookanis fic bc it's excellent)

weird forks and other concerns of modern assassins by @hyperions-light - M-rated modern thedas AU about the very messy and complicated relationships and weird power dynamics between Crows. Leth is v fun and so, so messy.

getting into trouble series by @biowaredisasterbisexual - series of Neverook one shots featuring the best Disaster Rook this side of Thedas — and it's finished now and I need to catch up on it and you all need to get in on the Disaster Rook lore right nowwwwwww

it will come back by @mageofquandrix - Cullen/f!Trevelyan gen fic feat. a trans Trevelyna that is very sweet and lovely friends-to-lovers after some distance.

not a date by @propenseverbosity - T-rated demi4demi Rookanis that reimagines the first coffee date as a very sweet coming out conversation between Lucanis and Rook. 'semi-romantic knife exchange' is perhaps my new favorite tag

all the pieces at play by @introvertedfangrl - this is a tbr rec, admittedly, bc I am very behind on reading but multi-chapter multirook fic!!! It's such a fascinating idea and it deserves more attention ok ok ok

where the heart is by @flowersforthemachines - M-rated pre-canon lore fic of one Ghilasara Thorne that more people need to read and I stand by that. I demand more oc x oc content in this fandom, actually. Go read it right now.

bellara's doing alright by @skullypettibone - T-rated mad scientist Bellara fic feat. Bellario <33 I feckin love the way Skully writes them, they're so sweet and real with a side order of also being very funny to boot.

[waihtie]

I am EXCITED

Season 5 Episode 4 - The End

○ CAS'S STANCE lmao

They're talking about the Colt. Cas heard that the demons still have it

(I have no idea what happened to it, I'll have to go back and read who had it last) (okay, just looked, last I could see was s3 when Bela sold it, I'm guessing I'm missing a situation in between there?)

CAS STANDING On the side of the road for presumably 4+ hours lmao

○ Sam calling Dean to tell him about that Lucifer update. They prob haven't talked since they split

"I want back in for starters"

Sam wants to track Lucifer down and kill him

Dean's skeptical about Sam + revenge

There's still so much pain there. Dean telling Sam they need to stay away from eachother. They're better off apart. Both sides would try to use the other to get to them

"Bye, Sam"

○ Dean woke up in a post-apocalyptal world

It's 2014, 5 years in the future from our Dean's timeline

A Croatoan virus infested one

○ Zachariah just pops into the Impala, nonchalantly, reading a newspaper

Ha Zachariah had to place people around to give him Dean's location bc of his ribs (specifically a bible preaching guy on the street)

He says he's keeping Dean here for 3 days

○ Ha Dean meeting Dean

○ Dean canonically likes wearing pink satin panties. Now that's something

Why would Dean ask other Dean to say something only he would know when most of the time, the things looking like other people can see their memories?

○ No Bobby. No Sam.

Endverse Dean hasn't talked to Sam since what happened in our Dean's this morning

○ I've never seen anyone else say it, so is it just me who finds Chuck kinda...

Like, he's pretty cute?

○ So is Chuck asking stupid questions about supplies and stuff bc Zachariah formed this world, so he made Chuck the way he perceives him?

This only works if this isn't actually a real future timeline

Otherwise that's just Chuck being extra dick-ish

Like bro, do something.

Just casually asks about supplies he damn knows well what to do about.

(this'll only make sense if you know what happens in S11)

○ Okay, a few notes

1. Cas winking at Dean is beautiful

2. I've never wanted to be in an apocalyptic world so bad

3. Cas immediately being able to tell Dean isn't from his timeline is so special to me

4. The hair and the slightly longer stubble have me weak in all kinds of places

No, you

○ Dean's pissed at Dean

○ Woah 2014 Dean just aquired the Colt

"Tonight, I'm gonna kill the Devil"

○ Cas laughing at 2009 Dean being a little shit to 2014 Dean is also special to me

And again

"What? I like past you"

○ Cas pointing out all the issues with Dean's deadly plan, but says "of course" instantly when Dean asks if he's coming 🩷🩷🩷

Cas is just going along with everything grumpy old 2014 Dean says. I need him.

I wonder if Cas knew about our Dean right away bc he had an ounce of personality or hope or something

○ Sam said yes, so Lucifer is wearing him

2014 Dean is going to kill him

He's telling 09 Dean that when he gets back, he needs to say yes to Michael, so none of this happens. Begging, actually

I'll probably be wondering later, so: Being Michael's vessel aids in the apocalypse bc Michael vs Lucifer would be a huge battle that would cause a lot of damage.

"Half the planet is better than no planet"

○ Cas being absolutely hopeless is so hot

The drugs. The orgies. The guru stuff.

○ 2014 Dean sending people unknowingly into a trap as a decoy.

'14 Dean ended up being killed by Samifer anyways

Kinda digging it

He's missing the Lucifer charm, tho

Not that I like Luci, but idk how else to describe his snarky, happy, deviance

Samifer is great separate from the other Lucifer versions, tho. Hot.

Always loved Jared's eye shape and brow bone.

○ Zachariah is doing a lot to prove his point. Is that a real future, or something Zachariah concocted? Can he even do that?

○ Cas pulling Dean away from Zachariah

"That's pretty nice timing, Cas"

"We had an appointment" adorable.

He missed his Cas

○ Yay he's calling Sam.

Endverse!Dean tried everything, and couldn't stop what was happening, so his solution was to get this Dean to say yes. Even he knew '09 Dean would never.

'09 Dean is doing what the other never did - get Sam back in. That'll be the difference.

[andros-paidophonoio]

My take on TSOA and Miller in general just to put it out there is that I like her writing and the way she describes a kind of idyllic, kind of proto paradisial love, it is very evocative and shows a very elegant and intimate presentation of affection in a way that I can see why ppl resonate with it. And the difference between her and some works attempting to imitate that style is....pretty stark lol. I think the stories are executed well in what they are going for, it's just that what is being executed--the approach to comfort and romance, the particular fantasy and desire being displayed is not something that suits my personal tastes or general approach to stuff at all. And this doesn't have to do necessarily even with historical or mythological "accuracy" but more how the stories themselves work for me, as works within their own universes.

(Some of my breakdown of my opinions under the cut. It's not "hate" bc I genuinely do not hate or even really dislike the works. I'm more trying to express my personal thoughts, and I'm happy when I do read things that make me have a lot of thoughts. Also I talk once again about Til We Have Faces)

I think what gets me about both books and the depiction of the ideal love vs cruel world etc is that they are stories that want to believe in the Inherent Internal Goodness of the characters despite their actions and seeks to kind of justify them morally by emphasizing their vulnerability and kindness in the society and world. Which is fine and all, but one thing that I personally find interesting is when one can be interested in and sympathize with characters but also you can see the way they hold and exercise and exploit power over others. Especially in historical settings. I get that especially for more romantic genres, there's a need for some handwaving of this so we can focus on happiness and arc of the focus characters, but it feels honest to me if they're appropriately terrible and unlikeable at times.

I get the fantasy that's kind of being presented is wanting to Be Good and Just and Beloved and have a blissful harmonious familial dynamic but that being in conflict with The Society...if I had to sum it up its very much that 2010s Tumblr "We Deserve a Soft Epilogue my Love" sentiment. Along with a desire and and love for men who are gentle and well-meaning and who have primarily *emotional* reciprocating expression... I get it ...but once again it doesn't really dig deeply into the discomfort of certain dynamics aside from the more acceptable "we must identify with the protagonist so they must be the Persecuted, and those outside are the Persecutors" aka the Homophobic/Toxic Masculinity/Rapist archetypes who are out there, Other.

Personally, after I read and was thinking about these books for a while I pulled out my copy of Til We Have Faces and revisited that. Now, I'm biased bc it's one of my favorite books, but it strikes me a lot as an interesting book to read parallel to Circe. Both retelling a classic myth from the perspective of an antagonistic figure, where a female character is regarded as ugly and abject (and a big source of the abjection coming from an abusive, powerful father) and because of that abjection, find and take comfort in other sources of power and influence. The stories are very different of course in both intention, but I felt like one thing I liked about TWHF is how it allowed its main character, Psyche's ugly stepsister Orual, to both be a rejected figure and one who suffers, but also show well, the way she also exercises privileges and power over people. She is treated terribly, rejected from being gendered as a desirable "woman" and a woman's role bc of her ugliness (while also being denigrated for being a woman), she desires love she has been denied violently, and it's not surprising that she acts in unsympathetic and judgmental ways. Throughout all this, She is also a princess, and later queen who believes she is descended from the gods, and in her society controls and sometimes takes the lives of her slaves, servants, and subjects. There is no contradiction; one can be a victim and also Lord power over others that you do not even realize. Her story and emotional journey is very interesting because it does not shy away from this complexity and discomfort, and it presents a world that is (in that novel, fictitious) but feels very ancient and alien in its practices and values.

In contrast, the worlds of Circe, Circe is not really given a chance to exercise power uncomfortably over anyone in the same way--she does do her cool Witch Behaviors but they are always Justified Actions, against once again The External Persecutors --violent rapist men, or Heartless gods. We don't need to face the discomfort of what it would mean for her to say, have attendants or servants or have a kind of hierarchy or what it means to. She basically Bootstraps herself into her power and is the Underdog the whole time.

Similarly in tsoa, we are presented with the kind and peace-loving Patroclus who is once again the Persecuted (by this time the External Homophobic Mom lol), and it goes out of its way to show his empathy with the womensuffering and the pain at The Society that causes the forbidden love to be forbidden. And maybe all this dancing around makes it easier for the average person to identify with the main characters bc whew who would want to identify with anyone who does anything BAD or in any way right???

But the thing is for me is that maybe we DONT "deserve" the Soft Epilogue, maybe, like Orual, we as people are a mix of shitty and exploitative in ways we refuse to acknowledge, even as we are tormented by our own Persecutors and traumas and lack of power in our lives and etc. but that doesn't mean u can't desire and seek happiness or be someone interesting and worth empathizing with... Idk I'm just not interested in the artistic tendency to want the character to be The Good Person, and the way we show someone is The Good Person is to show How Persecuted They Are, to be worth understanding and loving.

That's just my insta-thoughts, may expand later (I would like to write a more in depth analysis of TWHF bc I'm tired of the Very Christian analysis being the only one) but yeah. Idk in how this translates to my fanwork or whatever I'm not interested in justifying anything anyone does or "defending" or attacking faves. I'm interested in what I'm interested in, and it won't always line up with everything else. But that's ok, there's always room for different things, I'm carving out my spot of fun here like everyone else.

[velvetvexations]

I'm answering these via text again because it would take way too long otherwise!

read the screencaps of that one really nasty transradfem you rb'd a little earlier and you know what struck me in particular is, especially as they went on (there were many) it was so interesting seeing how many of them used text like "trans women" almost exclusively for trans women but trans men/mascs got almost exclusively called 'tboys' 'they/hes' 'tmes' 'theyfabsbians (???)' and 'aidans' and not once just called trans men. and i wonder if theres some part of them that is aware of how bad that would look. how much more spiteful that would seem. or at least more obviously full of shit. or maybe its just self-righteous rage idk. it doesn't REALLY matter WHY, its just stomach-curdling dehumanization and its suuuch a bummer. anyway youre great as ever! have a good weekend :)

It's so fucking gross and weird, and blatantly transandrophobic specifically in a way that's undeniable.

The conversations around it have cooled down, but it was disconcerting seeing people act like the reaction to intersex people in athletics is purely transphobic (and only impacting intersex athletes incidentally), when one of the people actually supporting rulings against intersex women is Joanna Harper, a trans woman and scientist. She has previously testified against Caster Semenya on behalf of World Athletics. I support Harper's work in arguing for trans women's inclusion in sport. It is vitally important. I do not wish ill on her whatsoever. But she showcases the huge intersexism problem the wider trans community has, which needs to be more widely acknowledged. ("Hyperandrogenism and women vs women vs men in sport: A Q&A with Joanna Harper" is perhaps the most illustrative example of her views.)

Also, you straight-up have countless numbers of radfems and other transphobes taking the intersex argument into account wrt Imane Khelif and going "yeah well he's still a male sweetie :)" so it's not like you can even say her situation specifically was about trans women even if that was a large part of it.

this isnt a trans related thing but i know you answer asks often so apolgies in advance do you ever get so excited that you just dont do something? like, not "oh i dont have the energy/cant focus/ect" but your just so excited to do something that you literally can't? i'm having that with some videos i wanna watch and its like pleaseeee i just wanna watch themmmm but now i've been plagued with energy

sorry, anon with to much energy again, would like to add i'm not sure if i have adhd or not but i'm leaning towards no cause it would be really inconvenient if i did and also this happens with literally everything not just videos, books, youtube vids(rn), tv shows, games idk how to end this so have a good day!

My problem is definitely in the opposite direction, I never have enough energy. Would that we could switch.

So I will say iirc social murder is a legitimate concept that's typically used to describe the ways that vulnerable populations are quietly killed under the guise of "letting die" such as putting DNRs on disabled patients during covid who had no desire for and indeed no idea they had effectively been marked as "acceptable to let die". It goes along with stuff like abjectification aka a demographic is made into not simply an object or non-human but a monster worthy of being put down. The abjectification of Palestinians is what allows the state of israel to say explicitly or implicitly things like "there are no innocent civilians" Sorry if there's any typos I've missed ^^;;

Pervious anon again to also clarify that social murder is something done systematically and can be done by omission too like the way in which adoptees especially trans racial & international adoptees face higher rates of suicide, risk of harm fron caregives, and medical issues that go treated bc of a lack of family medical history bc were just seen as ungrateful for wanting contact with our families of origin even if it's SOLEY for getting our medical records

Trans ppl of all kinds experience social murder through medical neglect, domestic/caregiver/workplace violence and though omission via lack of legal protection/trans panic defense stuff. Social murder is not something one individual does to another individual though individuals do uphold the systems that allow social murder...it's very uncomfortable to be part of the demographics that are subject to these quiet "letting die" situations and fear that we'll become a statistic and then have ppl try to turn it into an interpersonal gotcha for lateral aggression / separatist purposes so like ty for trying to course correct that Again sorry if we missed any typos and we think your really cool ^^;;

I think that's just a similar name for an entirely different concept, though. I don't know to what extent "social murder" is or was used outside of transradfem circles to mean "canceling but like, evil" but it was the first time I heard either the phrase or that context.

hey as a trans man I just wanted to let you know I really really appreciate your blog and you standing with us, I hope we can all endeavour to stand by each other in times like this. we're stronger together than apart and every trans person, regardless of identity, deserves to have a voice.

It's always my pleasure, anon.

nice transandrophobic opinion, nerd. did you get it from your favorite tankie blogger?

lmao fr I need to start using that

Miss Velvet, I am unfollowing, flambéing, blocking, etc for your dragon ball takes! …just kidding. I love your posts.

I have all the right takes.

youre so cool

I knowwwwww

such a weird assumption that trans women cant be into detrans kink too?? my trans girlfriend was into it and even if i personally wasnt i like being a kink sponge so she could get it all out on me

It's especially bullshit because the coiner of transandrophobia was crucified for a indulging a trans woman with a detrans kink.

out of curiosity. any thoughts on cannibalism? hypothetically of course. fantasy only

Not my thing, although I think the metaphysical idea of incorporating what you eat into your spirit somehow is fascinating.

I checked the post and I'm not seeing ops letting terfs call trans women rapist in the replies Like its not there They were just offline and can't be online to block every shit terf that speaks every three seconds. Also love how that person remived rbs after u saw the post bc they know theyre lying and pretending they're being "dogpiled"

I relaize I might just have all the terfs blocked but my point stabds: this person probably isnt chronically online to argue with every terfs who makes up lies. i sometimes just ignore them bc yhe obly terfs i worry about are the ones who say that shit in real queer spaces an noth their pathetic little blogs

Yeah, like. The idea was that they were deleting one group of radfems and not the other and that just wasn't true. So frustrating, but them killing the reblogs is hilarious as always.

[blackhairedjjun]

tnc: freefall full thoughts

(cross posted from elsewhere i'm just putting it here too lol)

before this album came out, sonically my fave txt albums are tdc: eternity, tcc: fight or escape (i really like loser lover and moa diary okay), and m2: thursday's child. and i think tnc: freefall is DEFINITELY up there -- idk where it ranks exactly but mannn it's so solid, i get why the critics at the preview were calling it a pivotal / turning point album for them. it does so many things musically yet stays thematically cohesive, the lyrics are lovely, and just feels like a natural evolution for them.

thoughts on each track:

growing pain - i can't believe i'm saying this but i think this track has a chance to dethrone opening sequence as my new favorite album opener (and opening sequence is one of my fave txt songs ever). but WOW i love rock txt!! i love how they pour their hearts out on rock tracks! listening to this right after farewell neverland is such a delight bc you have the contrast between making the decision to fall vs. ACTUALLY falling. and the latter HURTS. and they want you to feel that hurt in the song. i love going back to this track and jamming to it

chasing that feeling - oh this is just slathered in that 80s synthpop sound and i adore it so, the synths are just so catchy and i can't really describe it idk that sound just scratches the itch in my brain the right way. but something about it is such a gut punch?? there's something about "my fate, come and kiss me" and "maybe i'll miss it for good / the sweet mirage" that just GETS me. missing something so bad but knowing you have to move on from it... ugh!! not sure yet where i'd rank this among txt title tracks but man i do love listening to it.

back for more (txt ver) - this is the pre-release, we already heard and loved this one. honestly i like both the anitta version and this one, i feel like their second verses do different things: the anitta version keeps things interesting by changing it up, the txt version does that by escalating things. i.e. the former introduces elements of latin and funk while the latter enhances the nice disco pop stuff already going on. but yeah this one bops, also this song being third in the tracklist + right after ctf confirms to me that it's about wanting more of that neverland stuff even tho you said you would move on from it lol

dreamer - mmmm this song is so smooth!! i've seen a few people calling it the more mature / sexier version of 20cm but i still like 20cm more lol. but they both have a smooth r&b sound that makes you want to melt so i get it! it's a little bit lo-fi-esque which is a vibe that i enjoy and just adds to the smoothness of it, then we've got those lovely lovely falsettos. also wow the lyrics to this are really sweet? like... finding that dream you once held on to when you were younger and getting meaning from it once again. ohhh i melt

deep down - this one is boppy!! unfortunately it's a mid-2010s edm-pop type of song which is not a genre i particularly like, so i can't imagine listening to this one a lot. but for people who like that genre i think it works well! also it being a sequel song to crown is just. so cute. awww

happily ever after - aka happy fools' more melancholy older sibling HAHA. like deep down i can't imagine myself listening to this much, i think it needs a little more oomph to really capture me, but it's got a bittersweet mood to it and it conveys that mood pretty well.

skipping stones - I LOVE THIS ONE. this + growing pain are my faves of the newly introduced b-sides! it has that indie rock ost vibe that i'm weak for but it's also so warm, when i listen to it i want to turn the song into a real physical blanket i can wrap myself in. everyone sounds so good here and it's such a treat to listen to. and when i looked up the lyrics they made me melt!! "in order for the me from tomorrow to embrace the overwhelmed you of today, when it touches the shining waves, i'll hold your two shaking hands"??? STOP YOU'RE GOING TO MAKE ME CRY. i started smiling suddenly while listening to this that's just how warm it feels

blue spring - ok i already knew i would love this one bc i heard it live, but i thought the studio version would just be a cleaner-sounding version of the live one. but then THE ADDED ADLIBS??? THE HARMONIZING??? OH I'M SO EMOTIONAL. MY HEART SWELLS EVERY TIME I LISTEN TO THIS AAHH BLUE SPRING I LOVE YOU SO. that said i don't like that they removed the guitar strumming intro at the beginning and there's some weird autotune shit on some of hueningkai's adlibs. but i love this song as a whole too much for it to detract from my listening experience

do it like that - we all know this one too lol. i agree with all the people saying that it feels out of place on this album and they just stuck it on here cause it needed to go somewhere, but yeah it doesn't fit thematically. it's cute and fun but to me this song is musical candy: a sweet treat to listen to but not too substantial. it does what it does just fine but it's so jarring in this context

chasing that feeling (eng) - can i just say that i love the lyric choices here?? "in my kaleidoscope are pressed butterflies" and "time's a thief that keeps on stealing" and "hoping for twice in a lifetime, is that too much to ask?" and even short phrases like "a perpetual high." mmmm chef kiss. this and the korean version give off different vibes, the kor one is more conflicted / melancholy while the eng one is more wistful / determined. i love them both though

[vacantgodling]

author tag

thank you mj ( @mjjune ) beloved <3

i’ll do these for paramoiiiiii (which is pronounced para-MWAH bc i’m kissing it)

1) What is the main lesson of your story (e.g. kindness, diversity, anti-war), and why did you choose it?

oof. paramour has a lot of things going on in it, a lot of which are unintentional but evolved as i began to piece together the characters and the narrative. i don’t think paramour can be boiled down to a singular “main lesson” because i don’t think there’s really a lesson to be HAD. you can definitively read paramour for all of the deep thoughts i have about religion, masculinity, sex, gender presentation, and societal expectations, as well as like the horrors and suffering that greed can bring… or you can just read it as two guys who take the most stupid roundabout way to realize maybe the sex does have feelings. maybe the porn in fact has a little plot.

a lot of the messages woven into paramour have been marinating and maturing in me since 2020 tbh when i really started to allow me to be yknow. MYSELF. and so because i love them they got the projection beam as ya do.

2) What did you use as inspiration for your worldbuilding (like real-life cultures, animals, famous media, websites, etc.)?

paramour is inspired chiefly by steampunk, rococo fashion, and france. lmao. the entire universe that paramour is in (which includes wips like alizath, teardrops, and that one wip that is new and budding but doesn’t have a name yet) is inspired by me bastardizing and colorizing (aka making every mc and all the characters black) europe bc i’m tired of fantasy, mythology, and history and all the things that i enjoy as a person being dictated and delegated to white people. so a lot of it is also “writing the story that i want to see” etc etc.

paramour specifically was also inspired by (but has moved away from QUITE a bit): hamlet, crimson peak, beauty & the beast, gothic literature (that aspect has heavily stayed) and stuff like that. it’s original name was beauty and the crimson hamlet and it was more of a haunted house thing vs what it’s evolved into now lol.

3) What is your MC trying to achieve, and what are you, the writer, trying to achieve with them? Do you want to inspire others, teach forgiveness, help readers grow as a person?

hya is honestly trying to achieve being left the fuck alone and he doesn’t succeed LMAO. i’m not really trying to achieve anything with hya particularly (again you can read into all the things that i put into him and the narrative or he can be just some guy and both are correct tbh) — other than extreme wish fulfillment. though it may not seem this way because hya is a raging dick, he’s ideally what type of person i want to be like in Extreme fantasy land. i wish i was joking but i ain’t. and as such, he gets forgiven of a lot of the things that he does by the narrative or gets his own little happy ending and reasonings why he’s like this which i know some or many people will take issue with. him leaving a corpse in the foyer for example—many will describe him as cruel and callous and “problematic” and they’re right! love that for him 💛 i’m not trying to inspire anyone but myself like when i tell you that paramour is a wip written by me and for me i mean it LOOOOOL like idgaf about what anyone thinks of it 💀 (though i am so happy so many people love paramour as much as i do i didn’t think anyone would care about these assholes but many of my dear friends and other followers have proved me wrong and it’s validating tbh lol)

4) How many chapters is your story going to have?

current outline says 27 but i’m thinking it’s gonna lean closer to 30 just because as i write i realize i need to add in a filler chapter or two. so i’ll say it’ll probably end up being 30–at MAX 35 chapters probably.

5) Is it fanfiction or original content? Where do you plan to post it?

original 💛 and i still don’t particularly know where i want to publish it meaning idk if i want to go for indie which makes more sense or tryyyy to get trad published but. with the content paramour is and the way the publishing industry is i somehow highly doubt i can get it trad pub. so nothing but snippets online (tumblr) for now. maybe if i go indie i’ll make it readable on a website or whatever cuz i’m not really keen on putting it on amazon. but i may just for the reach. idk! i’m just trying to finish it first.

6) When and why did you start writing?

if we’re talking generally speaking i’ve been making stories since i was like 3 years old. paramour in itself however i made juneteenth (6/19) of 2021. i can’t remember WHY i started it so much as i remember just wanting a wip inspired by crimson peak perhaps? and we have gone WAAAAY off from that but yknow. we move lol.

7) Do you have any words of engagement for fellow writers of Writeblr? What other writers of Tumblr do you follow?

honestly just write for you. take all advice with a grain of salt and don’t worry about what others think of your writing/your ideas/whatever. there’s something for everyone and you’ll find your people.

other writeblrs/artists/creators whatever i follow and would recommend (and tag to do this if ya want no pressure) are: @kudzucataclysm @henrike-does-writing-sometimes @kazenokaori @magic-is-something-we-create @void-botanist @outpost51 @isherwoodj & consider this an open tag if you would also like to do this :)

[echoesofdusk]

major AI: The Somnium Files spoilers under cut

I have to ask people who claim AITSF is copaganda... where? how did you walk out thinking it's copaganda? is it bc nobody outwardly states that Date shouldn't have killed people? is it bc he didn't get punished?

do pieces of work really need to outwardly state that things are bad and aren't allowed to be subtle? do they need to spoonfeed people the message bc people are just unable to read between the lines? or walk out knowing that a piece of work has shades of gray?

I never walked out of AITSF thinking it's copaganda. I didn't get this message anywhere in the game. the police are shown multiple times to be incompetent at their job. hell Date is a goddamn PERVERTED COP who acts like a manchild at times. corruption is lampshaded multiple times. Boss knows she's abusing her power as a high ranking police but does it anyway, mainly out of love (all of the straight up illegal shit she does to protect Date when he popped up after the body swap). Falco knew he was severely dirtying his hands by being a vigilante cop. he wanted to go clean. he's an assassin, or should I rather say serial killer as "assassin" makes it sound clean, yes, but he has conscience, though his sense of justice is questionable. it's bc of the circumstances around how he grew up

and then there's Saito. I don't exactly disagree with people who think his depiction and role are ableist, I also feel like I'm nit really the person to comment on it, but I still have some things to say about him, although I do feel that some of the language used in game to describe him is a bit ableist

with that said, Saito is a tragic character. what could've been if he had gotten help and a support system like Date did and not have everything he did swept under the rug. what if So had actually gotten him medical help (which he probably didn't bc he's neglectful + probably thought the word of his son getting help would've stained his career)

although if Saito had gotten help, AITSF would've never happened to begin with. which is the point. Date and Saito are opposites of each other

(also ngl I wish Saito was more apathetic and jaded than cartoonishly evil, I think he'd been even more terrifying but also more believable that way)

also people don't realize that the characters in AITSF are supposed to be flawed people with shades of gray. I know it's probably easy to forget with the cartoonish porn magazine powerups, 12 year old girl beating up trained guys with assault rifles, an AI girl whose form in the physical world resembles a fluroscent hamster which is morbidly cute and all of the dirty and perverted jokes and whatnot, but it's true! So is probably the best example of this. I don't like So, and that's the point. you're not supposed to like him. he's a corrupt politician who banged a high school girl when he was twice her age as well as a neglectful father. and yet I personally find him compelling. the realization of what his somnium actually depicted stuck with not just me but many others. this man is sleazy and disgusting but holy shit the shock that hits you when you realize he's actually haunted by Manaka's death. and what he says at the end of resolution route when Date pays him a visit.

I completely forgot to mention Date getting mad with Ota bc he knew his rights to remain silent and not being obligated to obey the police but that's probably the point. that exchange was supposed to communicate that Date is kinda ACAB and you're not exactly supposed to sympathise with him and that he's 100% the good guy.

and police being able to peek into people's minds using the psync machine when the stuff seen inside of it can't serve as evidence? I'm p sure it's also supposed to lampshade how corrupt the police are.

anyways point is

nobody in this game is completely good and it's more complicated than just the good guys vs the bad guys (although Saito is cartoonishly evil which leaves a bit of a bad taste in my mouth personally as I think he could've been an amazing villain had he also had shades of gray like everyone else). the characters in this game are all flawed people who break or bend the rules in one way or another to either cover their asses or bc it's how far they're willing to go to help out a loved one

[starstruckodysseys]

no one said yes but here it is anyway bc this is my blog!

ep8: the wings that flap in the night. no explanation needed. we all know my brand. also russell’s/jennifer’s attention vs connection thing killed me and continues to do so bc it is Too Relatable!! also also dang + usha friendship for life they r the sweetest <3 we got the (much needed) hospital scene which is absolutely insane. that man should not be a doctor i fear. also paula-as-jack deciding that the best way to test whether or not his family was trustworthy was. to ask his wife what his dick looked like?? and then lucy describing it like a perp bc johnny was there?? absolutely insane what the fuck this episode had so much going on

ep2: and that’s whirred up. incredible establishing ep into the movie world! everyone getting adjusted is so fucking funny they’re so bad at it and i love them. ify was on fire this ep (the whole mirror pc thing, “that’s basically cop 101,” “usha might be dead,” other stuff i cannot think of for the life of me rn). its usha the old lady from the store. incredible stuff

ep9: without our siblings. would be number 2 if i didn’t feel like it was two separate episodes in one. which is personal bias but like it’s my list so. anyway. liv rage moment!! russell + liv conversation ft actually talking abt their feelings!! actual wenliv kiss!! rekha’s beans moment!! everything i could have asked for. also we went to the white house apparently. i kind of zoned out at that point but that’s on me

ep4: under the night sun. absolutely insane i processed none of the events and i loved every single second of it. rekha going “no i am going to throw this oily t-shirt in front of my car going 4000 miles an hour in order to go faster” is a top d20 moment. of all time. we got bi kingskin. we got j-kwon (who i definitely know) and bad bunny being Real People. we got a tank. we got a broken wrist goes in for the kiss. we went to space. we got… some other stuff probably. i don’t understand cars or racing and i’m not about to pretend i do

ep1: be kind, rewind. i love a good establishing pilot and watching the awesome action heroes just fuck around in the video store is like. so good. i love a slice of life moment. unhinged but not even close to an indicator of the actual insanity of nsbu. i mean this in a good way i promise

ep5: double death doggy style. the fact this is in sixth is a testament to how much i love this season bc i ADORE this episode. truly. plot heavy in comparison to the others but not in a way that feels out of place and is sort of refreshing after the insanity of ep4. absolutely insane plot twists and the way the reactions are shown is wonderful (specifically talking abt if you die in the movie you die in real life + the shawn nitro reveal). paula slam poetry-ing her son back to life top ten moments of all time. wonderful

ep3: the deluxe royale. does not deserve to be this low but like. here we are. i nearly cried laughing the first time i watched bc izzy immediately regretting the fact she threw a grenade was so fucking funny. the whole conversation about the sidewinders and whether or not today is their birthday (rekha is so desperate for brennan to answer and it’s so funny). dang’s character development regarding rashab. it’s all so good!

ep7: dang dang revolution. upon rewatch i actually love this one which is a testament to my nsbu insanity and this list in general. i do keep saying this but still. anyway. starting a note with “also” is possibly the funniest move ever. actually that whole jack/lucy/vic/jennifer scene is so fucking funny. just in general. cringefail russell!jennifer my beloved <3 also the dang + wolfman ann conversation nearly made me cry so um. oops! ALSO brain crush skull hack surgery hack happened which like. iconic. awesome action heroes friendship slash la familia you will always be famous TO ME !!!!

ep6: meet the santangelos. everything will be okay. you are getting kicked in the head until you die. (that’s it. that’s my summary) (not really. i really do like this one i swear bc like! wendell character arc! liv + dang friendship! adrenalized paula-as-jack! why do the santangelos keep a car in their attic! yippee!!)

ep10: superbomb. now. okay. i am tumblr’s (and possibly the world’s) number one nsbu fan, as voted on by nobody but me. however comma. i will admit the finale uhhh left some things to be desired. not even necessarily in a bad way. like i get why they left so much hanging (everything was already absolutely insane). i just wish we’d gotten a little more… something? idk. i did nearly cry at “you are real, you are everything, and everything is you” to the point it’s in my instagram bio + my discord status so. also ive said it before but the dang/wendell/liv trio is so dear to me and the whole conversation abt believing in rashab and therefore in dang also made me deeply emotional!!! they’re so!!!!!! the epilogues in general are really good actually. shoutout to boy’s night (ft paula) in amsterdam fr

anyone want my nsbu ep ranking

[florenceisfalling]

do people use the term "lifestyle mermaid" in the same vein as "lifestyle lolita" or is that something that only exists in my head

[theblogtini]

But I don’t think it’s even about the money. If they ACTUALLY want to undertake any humanitarian stuff and make a difference (& I think Harry genuinely DOES want to - it’s important to him on a core level) then they need to be royal. 

I disagree. Harry is far too selfish, self centered and lacking in empathy to genuinely want to do so for anything other than self aggrandizement. I mean this is the guy who said that the disaster victims in Nepal were luckier than him because at least they were free smh. The same person who cast their flight from one mansion to another as freedom flight lol

Nah. He doesn't want to do good. He wants to be seen as doing good and get all the admiration and adulations for it. That's why his attitude and approach toward charity work, as described by Low in Courtiers, were very patronizing and white savior-ish -- quick and flashy fixes that looked good for instagram vs long term solutions favored by William. He said so himself in the fake Greta interview as he took a dig at the earthshot prize -- that small steps and giving out awards wouldn't make any difference -- and advocated for big, shocking changes instead.

And it IS about money. Very much so IMO. In the same interview, when he was talking about their plan for charity work, he noted that there's a hell of a lot of money being passes around the world in charity sector. They wanted to get a piece of that pie IMO. They thought companies and organizations would throw money at archewell. And travalyst, which is still hasn't been registered as a non profit, is intended to be a money maker thru green washing. As he said in another instance -- for his campaign against misinformation I think -- why not profit from positivity and doing good? And that's exactly what they want to do and why they left imo. They wanted to get paid for doing the same things as royals.

So rereading my earlier response I really misspoke lol.

It’s absolutely 100% about money. That’s the root of it all for them.

BUT I think they realize that they are doing literally nothing and if they want to rehabilitate their image/brand at all then they need to really bank on the humanitarian thing bc they’ve proven to be really shitty “content creators.”

So they need focus on that.

But they can’t because they can’t do anything BIG enough without the royals. And when there are things they can get access to that doesn’t have the same gravitas that royal engagements do. It’s the same as if you or I volunteered at a soup kitchen at Christmas. And also in the US those royal engagement type things don’t exist - we don’t have anyone who publicly does that type of cause awareness thing on such a public level like the royals do, so people are like “whatever.”

The US is also kind of like… to big? One of the things that allows the royal model to work is that a) there’s a bunch of them and b) the UK in pretty easily navigable. Someone can easily get from 1 end of the Kingdom to another and back in a day. London to Belfast is faster than flying from Boston to DC. Meanwhile getting from 1 side of the US (BOS to LAX for example) to the other is 6 hours & 3 time zones away. They can’t make a big enough splash bc they can’t hit enough community based charities (the way the royals can) for anyone to care.

[viktortittiforov]

no need to apologize and thanks for the lovely response!!! i prefer to rant in the tags rather than invade people's posts but you're right that can make it awkward when someone does want to respond.

thanks for the note about yuuri using 'atashi' while skating Eros at first! i got curious because i wasn't totally sure but i thought i remembered him using 'boku' for himself generally (as opposed to viktor and yurio who use the more arrogant 'ore'), so you saying he used 'boku' in ep 6 threw me a bit BUT i didn't realise he didn't use it when skating Eros before and that's a really cool detail showing him getting into the character of the seductress!! i love stuff like that and i do agree it's different if he's portraying a female character vs if he's skating in a feminine way as himself (though i don't think i'm at all qualified to ascertain whether he does still skate femininely in/after ep 6 or not).

re: presentation and how much different yoi characters care about it or how they (want to) present, that's another fascinating topic and ties in with my wonderings about how they relate to gender and gender norms (as presentation is closely linked to those). i would say that yes, we can see especially JJ and yurio caring about how they are read by others and really being invested in conveying a specific persona, it's most explicit with them. BUT i think we can see other characters being invested in some sort of performance. i would viktor was that way pre-yuuri, but well, famously and fortunately yuuri encourages him to drop that act. i also think chris might also be quite invested in his flirty/sexy persona, but it's not something that's so much in the spotlight (well, it is, but i think his whole deal is also trying to convince people it's entirely effortless, so his striving for it isn't highlighted. which is not to say it doesn't come easy to him, but no social performance is ever completely "natural" – though that's the sociologist in me speaking). then you have seung-gil who is a minor character but i think wants to come off as aloof, michele who's really big on his protective big brother act, etc. they are more minor but i still think they are interesting, especially since a lot of them seem to relate to masculinity (i'm sticking to the male characters for the sake of this analysis, so that it's not super long lol. and also bcs academically i specialized in masculinities and bcs it's easier to analyse the male skaters, whose inner monologues we get an insight into).

chris seems to want to be a sexy, flirty, charming man. i wouldn't go as far as to call him effeminate, but his masculinity is definitely a distinctly gay, flamboyant sort of masculinity (to me flamboyance is different from effeminacy and i don't think any yoi character is specifically effeminate, at least not the way i think of the word, but i do definitely think viktor, chris and phichit could be very accurately described as flamboyant). otabek doesn't seem that concerned with portraying a specific image, but he does talk about having to find his own path in skating and fascinatingly enough it is suggested that due to not being good at ballet he struggled to find peace with the fact that he cannot move as "femininely" as other male singles skaters can... so the opposite of what you might expect of a man (being concerned about lack of elegance – implicitly associated with femininity – rather than lack of manliness). seung-gil wants to be seen as aloof, and emotional repression is a big part of masculine norms. michele's whole schtick is honestly pretty sexist and he is very much striving for the man-protector role. georgi meanwhile wants to "save" anya from her new bf = man-savior/man-hero (this is made interesting by the fact that he conveys this in routines where he wears rather feminine costumes and portrays female characters). emil's focus is on superhumanness, and physical prowess is another big part of hegemonic masculine norms (but otherwise he's quite laid-back and more of a carefree persona. this can also be a form of emotional repression due to masculine norms, but he doesn't get a lot of screen time so we don't see to what extent that's a conscious performance, unlike seung-gil who we see cry and contradict his own words when he says he doesn't care abt the audience's cheers. emil seems a lot less invested in masculinity than some other characters, but bcs of the superhumanness thing i would still say there is an element of it). guang hong's FS (i think it's his FS?) is about fighting gangsters or something??? again a stereotypically "masculine" thing (strength, heroism, physical prowess, smarts, violence... but it doesn't fit him much/it's unclear how much he's able to relate to that role. could be a hint that he's trying to appear more masculine but kind of still failing due to his youthful appearance/almost childish innocence? i wonder why he picked that role...).

and then you have viktor, yuuri, phichit, minami, and i guess leo? hopefully i'm not forgetting anyone. my point is they all either get over trying to present a certain way (viktor), are sometimes dishonest but not because they want to give a certain impression but due to mental health issues/being a private person (yuuri), or just. are shown caring about other things more – yuuri's approval (minami), music/friends (leo), friends/hamsters/ice show/a beloved film/the relationship between thailand and skating (phichit). so masculinity doesn't figure in their narratives in any distinct way (unless i'm forgetting things which i might be). minami's competitiveness with yuuri (is it competitiveness or is it just adoration? i think there is some competitiveness to it) could be related to some idea of trying to find one's place in the masculine hierarchy, and phichit's emphasis on being a successful thai skater has an element of heroism in it, maybe, but they are at least a lot less dominant than with the other characters (and also, all the characters are competitive – duh – and representing a certain country, so these aren't very unique).

when we focus specifically on vitya and yuuri, though... idk if i'm just biased but i think yuuri's striving to get better isn't ever really tied to masculinity, it's more about self-discovery and mental health, and though self-confidence and emotional stability can be seen as masculine, they are just generally healthy things to have and not so clearly just masculine norms (and yuuri doesn't seem to want to improve in this area because he doesn't feel masculine enough; that's not a topic for him, it seems). he wants to win, he sure is competitive, but that's so tied with his admiration/love of viktor and his frustration with not being able to skate to his full potential that it's difficult to see the potential masculinity element in that as very relevant (again, it's not the point). and viktor was androgynous and gender nonconforming throughout a big part of his competitive career, is a lot more focused on surprising people, on allowing yuuri to meet his full potential, on loving yuuri and regaining his passion for skating... again, no obvious, immediately clear masculinity element there? i think v. and y.'s narratives are just so much more about love and self-love than anything else haha and i find that so interesting... like there is love in the narratives/motivations of several other characters but for them it's very divorced from gender norms and they generally don't seem invested in them, contrary to most other characters (save for phichit, minami and leo i suppose). and i think that's amazing and such an interesting detail???? especially since yoi is a love story and a queer love story at that?? idk maybe i'm reading too much into it and i don't really have an explanation for why it is specifically phichit, minami and leo who also seem less invested in gender norms/roles/performances but it's really fun to look at.

this REALLY got away from me omg, my own struggles with being brief (especially when my hyperfixations are concerned) are showing

One of the many things I love about YOI is how it ignores gender norms. Like Viktor wearing androgynous costumes as a junior because it matched his looks? Lovely. Yuuri learning how to dance like a woman as he explores Eros? Great! Let this boy do whatever he needs to find his unique Eros expression. Mila practising lifts on Yurio? Please give me more.

None of these form a pattern that indicates anything about these characters' gender or, more generally their queerness (spoiler: these could apply to a number of labels or to none; gender is a societal construct and the reasons to not want to conform to it are various), the show is that vague and it seems a deliberate choice. Viktor eventually changed his style and image. Yuuri finds his unique, masculine expression of Eros in episode 6 when he seduces Viktor with his own charms (as conveyed through the use of the masculine pronoun "boku"). These characters live in a world where gender norms don't matter and where everyone can express themselves and explore certain aspects of their personality without anyone telling them that it's not "appropriate" for their gender.

And you can spin this further. If Viktor wants to wear a women's yukata because he loves the flower print, he can do that. If Yuuri wants to do ballet in pointé shoes because it challenges his sense of balance, no one can stop him. (In my fics, Viktor wears such shoes for that purpose and because he loves the laces.) If Chris wants to wear an evening gown and high heels because he loves how it emphasises his thighs and his bum, he can just go for it. If Yurio wants to wear a mini-skirt to ripped jeans, no one will bully him for it. If Mila wants to skate in black skates because it matches the colour of her costumes better than white skates, no one would care (same goes for white skates for any of the male characters). If Phichit wants to wear make-up, no one would give him strange looks.

The beauty of Yuri on Ice is that the characters are free to do these things without having to fear judgement or repercussions. They are free to choose how they want to express themselves, be it for image reasons, because of a character they portray in their figure skating routines, because it ties into a certain aspect of their queerness, or because they just prefer this over a traditional expression. In the world of YOI, it just doesn't matter. I would love to live in that world.

(You might notice that I don't count hair length as gender norm because for many people it's a stylistic choice. I'm thinking of all the metalheads and women with pixie haircuts, which have been normalised in most societies I know of.)

[uighean]

grabbing this from @galacticlamps bc I am nothing if not narcissus staring into a pond ig!!

What book are you currently reading?

I've just picked war and peace back up after ditching it for a couple months!! I'm like. a quarter of the way through ahjgfkdg. getting there.

What's your favourite movie you saw in a cinema this year?

god I think the last thing I saw at the cinema was the broadcast of a coldplay concert?? (which was rlly good & I do need to pick up the dvd. like. I need to own footage of people of the pride being performed live thank you) but I have NO idea what I saw at the cinema before that omg. definitely nothing this year

What do you usually wear?

if I'm out, then a kilt + button-up shirt/tshirt + knee-high socks + docs. maybe a waistcoat or leather jacket if it's a bit colder

How tall are you?

5'3"ish! I am. small.

What's your star sign?

pisces! I don't care about zodiac stuff at all but I do think it's funny that there's sailors + fishermen on both sides of my family, my star sign is a fish, and yet I get terribly seasick

Do you share your birthday with a celebrity or historical event?

I mean probably but I also share my birthday with my fav animal crossing villager & that's worth more to me than any celebrity tbh

Do you go by your name or a nickname?

just by my name! I've never really been one for nicknames.

Did you grow up to be what you wanted to be as a child?

absolutely not haha. think I kinda talked about this in some tags the other day but I wanted to be a vet right up until I was in late high school/starting uni, & then it all just. dried up. have wound up working in museum collections management & I love it!!!

Are you in a relationship? Who is your crush if not?

yes!!! with @ettelwenailinon ❣️💕💞💓

What's something you're good at versus something you're bad at?

ogufjkdh I am clean out of ideas for this one so I'm gonna say. I'm the gay who can drive and also the gay who can't cook <3

Dogs or cats?

cats, 100%. dogs are cute (& I have a massive soft spot for enormous female dogs who are terrified of everything) but I wouldn't own one. but at the end of the day I am a horse person over everything

What's something you'd like to create content for?

hmm idk!! I think I'm already """"creating content"""" for everything I want to be tbh. I would like to actually learn how to draw but not necessarily anything specific, you know

What's something you're currently obsessed with?

well if you've been around my blog lately you might have picked up on the fact that I'm a little obsessed with holding achilles right now. like, watching it all the way through every day obsessed whoops.

(I need to sit down and actually write out my notes on it bc I have a LOT of thoughts but that's going to inevitably end with me making actual spreadsheets. of recurring motifs and when they crop up. rn I want to figure out all the references to prophecy vs promises (there's an overarching meta in my head about like. the way achilles and patroclus relate to death and responsibility, respectively, and how that drives their dynamic/the plot), but also all the different ways their relationship is defined/described by themselves and others? and how that relates to how ultimately what they want is to be unknown, and the kind of. queer idea of being undefinable. I'm being SO normal about all this if you can't tell)

tbh it's thrown me back into greek mythology in general. I have been watching so many greek god vine compilations & they all absolutely send me

What's something you were excited about that turned out to be disappointing this year?

eurovision.................. god the songs this year are so. there's a handful of ones that are pretty good but so many are just boring pop songs. take me back to 2021. I'm hinging my entire sanity on kalush orchestra's winner's performance tbh that's going to be the highlight of the night

What's a hidden talent of yours?

ok I said I'm the gay I can't cook but the one thing I can make is potatoes. I do really good mashed/roast potatoes. mutuals you are invited over for this

Are you religious?

nope! my family's never been religious for as long as I've been alive, and I just. don't believe in anything. not necessarily ruling anything out though, the universe is very big. and like, I think I have a kind of spirituality in some ways? like I have some vague beliefs about objects holding stories/memories. but I think that's a function of working in a museum gkfjhds, you can't help but personify stuff a bit

What's something you wish to have at this moment?

the uk visa I'm applying for............................ or the truly ridiculous amount of money I paid for it. god why is it so expensive.

not tagging anyone bc I think this was technically meant to be for new year's??? but hey if anyone wants to do it, you're welcome :)

[lunatic-fandom-space]

I wanted to talk about this small thing I noticed about Ciel (in the manga) and its about the spider thread motiv metaphor thingy

Ive had some trouble really putting this into words, so I'll just describe the moment I noticed this. When I was reading the manga for the first time and I got to the point in the Green Witch arc where Ciel holds a gun to Sieglindes head and tells her that she can chose if she wants to get shot and not deal with the difficult realities of the 'outside world' or if she wants to live, I thought "oh. Huh. this is a lot like the moment where Ciel made his contract with Sebastian"

And then afterwards I thought a bit more about it and how Ciel is effectively presenting other people with this 'spider's thread', this opportunity to escape and heal from trauma and stuff in their past, in the same way he was. And yeah, there are obviously ulterior motives I dont think Ciel is doing that out of the kindness of his heart and I think he's very selfish and doing it for selfish reasons, but he's still doing it yknow. Idk I just think its interesting to compare Ciel and Sebastian like that and how this contract has probably really affected the way he thinks about life and second chances and whatnot

This isnt really related bc its about season 2 and I wanna do my best to keep the anime and manga as like, seperate timelines, but I honestly feel that Ciel would genuinely be quite happy as a demon (atleast for a while until Immortality Fatique sets in or qhatever we wanna call that). I know that people have a lot of different opinions on season 2 and the ending in particular and I dont really know how I feel about it either tbh, but I do think Ciel becoming a demon makes sense just from a standpoint of like, his characterization. At least, in the manga. See this where we get into differences between the manga and the anime, because in the anime they got rid of most of that and pretty much all that remains is Ciels monologue to Soma and that whole chracter arc and thats it. And I do think thats a shame and a huge missed opportunity, especially considering season 2 has all the spider symbolism with Claude and Alois and you could really do some interesting stuff there

But anyway, back to the manga. I feel like the way they're going to expand on this theme/motiv after the introduction of the other Ciel is by making a point about like, actually dealing with trauma vs living in ignorance yknow what I mean. Because the way our Ciel describes it is like, he was offered this thread but then he had to choose to grasp it and also pull himself upwards again with his own strength, whereas with the real Ciel its more like someone caught him with a net and pulled him out of his terrible situation with the real Ciel not being granted a choice or agency in the matter. And like, the real Ciel doesnt really react to anything its like his traumatic experience had no effect on his whatsoever and he truly is more like a doll than a real human being who needs to deal with his past

Also, if we wanna talk about agency regarding the two Ciels we can also talk about the chess metaphors. Our Ciel will often posit himself as both the chess player, someone who is in complete control of his pieces but otherwise removed from them, and as the king, who is not only a piece on the board like everyone else but who is in need of constant protection from everyone while also having the power to end the entire game. Its an intersting dichotomy and I think you could do some intersting stuff with that if you tried to deconstruct that a little. Our Ciel could say that hes the player while the real Ciel is just a piece on the board without agency but then maybe you could make a point about our Ciel was living as someone else for three years and most of his decisions were informed by that so its almost like he had no agency either. Idk just some stuff I was thinking about

[boxedforyourdemise]

Controversial System Opinion alert! Just a bunch of Controversial Opinions! Related to the system community! And the topic of alter identity vs body experience

So... I don't think it should matter what an alter experiences internally or what words or terms or names they use as long as anything that could be seen as harmful or an issue stays innerworld. I believe internal identities don't have to dictate external identities or behavior. I believe they can be two different experiences.

I don't believe it matters what a specific alter is doing or saying if they respect societal, cultural, and social boundaries when presenting externally and discussing experiences.

I dunno. I guess I don't see the point in criticizing behavior that is only harmful when it's being used around other people. Sometimes personal identities or opinions can be kept to yourself. I think going after systems bc they have names from closed cultures or multicultural names that are most commonly associated with one specific culture is harmful and does nothing for anybody, especially if that alter isn't even interacting with anyone else. Same goes for judgement of closed culture names. Gifted names exist and are important to many cultures. People who call out people with names or alter names associated with closed cultures without asking first if a) the name has uncommon or unknown origins in addition to the culture in question, b) whether or not they were adopted or raised into that culture, c) whether or not the name was gifted are honestly doing more harm than good and causing a lot of people who are totally justified in their name to feel excluded and judged and misunderstood.

Also, just because a version of a name has origins in one culture does not make that name a closed culture name when it is in a new language and possibly even has multiple origins with various spellings and pronunciations.

I believe alters who have psuedomemories related to identities the body doesn't have should be able to talk about it without speaking over those who actually experience it irl. Mostly because psuedomemories that aren't source memories are usually just recreations and repaints of trauma that the body actually has gone through. But also because internal experiences are complex and as long as an alter isn't forcing themselves into specific spaces meant for people who experience serious shit irl, I think they shouldn't be forced to shut up just because the body doesn't match up.

I think alters who have these experiences related to established communities should be able to have their own private spaces to deal with and discuss their experiences and issues with the obvious pretext that all of this is internal experience and it's not meant to be educational or representational or to claim bodily experiences.

I just think people shouldn't be so quick to criticize alters over their internal presentation, or extreme detachment from the body and its memories, or their aesthetic choices or even their personal opinions on certain matters.

System accountability is important but also alters are still separate and do their own things and in some situations it's not appropriate to blame unrelated alters on things that only one alter did or said. Not talking about actual harmful stuff but just like. Discourse opinions..or religion. Or general interests (sfw and nsfw) and hobbies. Or their gender identity and what terms they use to describe it. It's none of your business what somebody's AGAB or biological sex is.

It's not misinformation to have phantom pain or to split easily or have system experiences that seem uncommon or weird or taboo. It's (mostly) in your brain and whatever your brain decides it needs in whatever way your mind spins it. Alters can look like anything and have any kind of "impossible" experienced internally. Excluding systems because they have weird experiences that you personally don't have is really rude and disrespectful.

I just think... If you keep the disconnect between external and internal experiences, it's okay to be a little "problematic" in your head. Your thoughts don't harm people. Your mental images or fantasies or identities have no impact on anything outside of you.

This sort of invasion and entitlement to justification for alter identity or opinions is incredibly harmful to psychotic systems. Checking PK lists for names and descriptions is horrible. Blacklisting names and sources is absolutely shameful.

It's not your business why an alter is the way they are or why they heal and cope the way they do. If you feel entitled to personal information about people, you should really reevaluate your boundaries and interactions in relation to others.

This is not to say that it's not racist to claim that a Japanese introject in a non-Asian body is actually Asian or that an intersex-presenting alter in a perisex body is actually intersex and can claim those experiences and resources or honestly anything like that wherein an alter is supposedly stealing experiences and actually talking as if they have them and the nuances.

I just don't see the point in nitpicking the tiniest irrelevant system details because they could possibly maybe perhaps be a little bit of an issue when you involve other people.

System information listed on pluralkit or SimplyPlural or a Carrd or Tumblr post is often just for personal categorization or for general self expression of alters. If the alter and system acknowledges that it's nowhere near the same as actually having these experiences, and externally makes an effort to use language and labels that aren't problematic, I don't really see any issues.

Like maybe alters with names they need to change could just. Go by a nickname. And everyone could leave it at that because it's not the same. And the alter doesn't have to literally shift what could be an integral part of their identity for the sake of internet interactions they aren't even involved in.

Basically if your alter is publicly claiming to be intersex or poc or disabled and your body isn't that's shitty but if it's entirely internal and personal I don't think it's relevant to anyone else. You don't owe anyone an explanation for what goes on in your brain.

You don't have to feel guilty for your personal opinions or identities or experiences. You can be both respectful of the marginalized and a good person who uplifts oppressed and minority voices and still have your own personal feelings or attachments associated.

It's hard to be an alter. It's hard to feel like your perceived experiences are invalid because you're in a body that simply has no right to the spaces. It's just not fair to outright berate people over something so personal and almost certainly actually trauma related.

Also one can be pale skinned and not actually white. Lots of mixed people are "white passing" but still nowhere near Caucasian. Skin tone doesn't actually mean shit in the end unless it's in reference to people who are obviously poc vs those who can kind of blend with white society.

I keep repeating myself in different ways but basically I'm just saying leave alters alone if they aren't actually involved in anything. Even if you see some kind of information about them that bothers you. You just don't know what's going on behind the screen let alone in somebody's head. So maybe we should all calm down and assume good faith or incredibly valid personal reasons or experiences unless there's actually an issue. Asking ppl to divulge their trauma or details or why a certain alter is a certain way is really invasive.

This post is just because we see people constantly spreading misinformation and actually excluding poc because they have this idea of needing to police inner-system workings on top of external behavior because apparently what goes on in your brain is also subject to outside criticism and critique now.

We have personally experienced this strange phenomenon a couple times for various reasons. It's really weird and oddly ignorant of niche cultures or adoptees sometimes. And outright ignores gifted or multicultural/multi-origin names, as I already stated.

And even if an alter is exhibiting problematic behavior, it's not your place to tell them off for it or try to shame them. That's for therapy and other healing and internal communication. You don't know the reason for it. you're not an authority over individuals (as in you have no place of power or influence over them) just because they share a community with you.

nothing in this post is for non-OSDDID systems. endos do not interact.

-Virne and Angel

Editing to add that this is not excusing alters for having actually harmful or appropriative beliefs or actions. Or suggesting not to analyze and work on harmful opinions. This is a critique on interrogation of alters and clear disregard for system privacy. This post is not in support of cultural appropriation of any sort. Or speaking over minorites or excusing negative beliefs just because nobody is exposed to them. I just think there's no real purpose in making assumptions and attacking alters over shit you don't understand.

[sun-flower-children]

BakuSquad’s Boy Part 1

A/N: Based on a fic that doesn’t exist anymore :( I’ll be adding my own head canons from what i remember of the og fic. This whole thing is in a headcanon format :)))

Kirishima was sitting down when he noticed their new transfer student walking into the cafeteria looking lost. Without thinking twice he quickly caught the attention of the male and motioned him to come over.

“Is it okay if I join you?” you asked, recognizing the spiky haired student as your classmate.

“Of course, let me introduce you to everybody!”

The redhead introduced all the guys sitting at the table. The talkative blonde with the lightning bolt in his hair was Kaminari . The smiling black haired boy with oddly shaped elbows was Sero and the angry-faced pale blonde with red eyes was Bakugo. While the rest smiled at you he merely sneered and ignored you.

“Don’t let him bother you too much, he's a grouch!” Kirishima said smiling.

The entire lunch period was spent talking to the Bakusquad and explaining how you transferred from the hero school in your home country and enrolled at UA. Laughing with them and bonding over memes and hero training.

It didn’t take long for you to become part of the friend group.

Y’all are a chaotic group of motherfuckers

The group chat is mess; Bakugo is trying to help people w homework, Zero is constantly sharing tick tocks and at 2 am Denki will spam it with memes ( which pisses Bakugo off bc it wakes him up when he forgets to mute his notifications)

Y’all will study together, which surprisingly, can be super productive sometimes.

It honestly didn’t take very long for you guys to become inseparable. They have you back and you have theirs. Training and working out together is a plus because sometimes y’all are too busy to actually fully hangout.

Kirishima will compliment you in a “manly” way and will totally be your hype man. Will be ecstatic when you give back the same energy. One time Bakugo joined you guys for his morning workout and his jaw almost fell to the ground when he saw you take your shirt off.  He couldn’t help but stare like holy shit you were ripped. Training with Kiri really did pay off. Bakugo smirked to himself when he noticed his red haired friend was also checking you out when you didn’t notice. 

Going to the mall with Sero and Denki is a whole ass ride. Y’all will go to so many stores and either waste all your money or just fuck around. Hot Topic is definitely a favorite of theirs. They don’t care if it’s not your vibe because they will want to deck you out in the fitting rooms to see what you look like. Once they pushed the curtain before you were done changing your shirt and both pairs of eyes went straight to your body, making you blush.

After being friends for so long the Bakusquad could read each other's emotions and all recognized that they had crushes on you. They talked about it and concluded that this would by no means would get between their friendship but would amicably flirt with you.

They organized a sleepover not too long after. But it was basically them all fighting each other about who’s room they would be staying in. Ended up going to Bakugo’s room because it was the closest for most of them. When you got there you were so caught up with the movie that you didn't realize they were low-key fighting each other for a spot next to you/ touching you in general. It was when y’all were going to sleep when you realized you left your sheets and what not in your room. Bakugo without missing a beat said you could sleep with him which then prompted Denki to tell you that “Bakugo’s feet smell like shit you don't wanna sleep with him” for Kiri to go “ Hey that isn’t manly, you should sleep w me Y/N.”. While the three of them were battling it out you and Sero were just sitting crouched in the corner. “I mean Y/N I could always get sheets and stuff from my rooms ‘cause it's not that far from here.” only for Bakugo to throw a pillow straight in his face yelling “Shut it Soy-Sauce face!!” Yeah they felt really bad in the morning when you ended up sleeping on the floor with nothing covering you.

Sero will want to smoke with you. The first time he smoked with you, you ended up having a panic attack and he felt responsible for making you panic and so anxious. He tries to smoke by himself for the meanwhile until you convince him to let you try again. It goes much better this time. Y’all start vibing to his latin playlist and he tries to teach you but y’all just end up stumbling over each other and constantly laughing. When dancing becomes physically exhausted and watches tick tocks and videos on his phone. Which ends up with y’all crying over the video where the racoon tries to wash his cotton candy but it dissolves. At some point the tears become too much and you both reach for each other which ends up with y'all sobbing and cuddling each other. Y’all fell asleep like this :)

The whole squad smokes at one point or another. Kirishima does it whenever he’s just in the mood to hangout and he uber chills. Bakugo does it to relieve stress and just enjoy life a bit. Denki smokes the 2nd most in the group just whenever he needs to kill time or he wants to vibe.

There will be times when y'all will smoke together and just fuck shit up. Like, one night after exam y’all are smoking but shit starts getting wild. Like y'all are hopping off the walls and dancing around to random music. Denki will find a roach that's stuck on its back and trying to get back off its legs but y’all are dancing all around it thinking it's like break dancing. “ AYYYY FUCK IT UP” Bakugo would yell “GET INTO IT” Sero would then yell. One of y’all took a video and accidentally posted it on Snapchat so the next day Mina would ask like wth happened last night bc y’alls tik toks and snapchats were wack af. Sero would probably speak on behalf of the group and say “ We were just really hyper.

When they all become hyper aware of their feelings not only for you but like low-key for each other they all change a lil bit. Like:

Denki stops flirting with people outside of the Baku Squad. He’s more touchy with y’all. Holding onto arms, arms over shoulders, hands on waists, holding hands, sitting in y’alls laps (this is a big one)

Kirishima has more energy when he’s with you guys. Like he could be running lower on battery than normal but one of y'all just comes up to him and he lights up like a light bulb.

Bakugo stops ruining desks and promptly yelling at people. He’s toned down and becomes a bit more chilled out. Mostly when he's with you guys. He is still a grumpy gremlin when he is with people who aren’t the Baku Squad.

Sero actually hides it pretty well and no one notices and changes that are indicative of a crush. Probably a bit more confident in himself

Kirishima and Denki acting like they haven't seen each other in sages when it really has only been like five minutes.

“ OMG BRO IT'S BEEN FOREVER”

“OMG DENKI MY MAN I MISSED YOU SM!”

“ BRO C’MERE AND PLANT A PHAT ONE ON ME!”

“HELL YA MY DUDE, THIS IS GONNA BE MANLY.”

And then proceed to aggressively walk toward each other, slap each others asses and plant a kiss on each other's cheeks before erupting into a huge fit of laughter. While people around them are just like ‘wtf is going on’

Touching becomes a thing.

Y’all will actively find each other when y'all want a hug or cuddles or smth. Forehead and cheek kisses are a thing. Bakugo takes much longer to warm up to everyone starting really with you and Kirishima. most comfortable holding y’alls hands loosely and rubbing your knuckles. Denki probably does this the most. He lives for physical affection, just give this poor boy his much needed cuddles and kithes.

Despite y’all high-key crushing for each other you all still are absolutely focused on your career paths as heros. Bakugo helping teach english and you trying to help ( if you know english well enough to teach )

“Ok idiots for the last time what word do we use to describe Sarah?”

“I mean she took these poor dudes apples and all of these are positive adjectives...i think.”

“Yeah Sarah’s kind of a bitch.”

“SHUT IT YOU TOO AND ANSWER THE DAMN QUESTION!”

“I mean Bakubro they aren’t wrong...”

“NOT YOU TOO KIRI!”

You guys work so well during team vs fights bc of how well you all know each other.

It’s an absolute mess but y’all love eachother <3

I will be making a part 2 ( + 3 i think ) so hang around for more :)

MASTERLIST