#we were forced from a community for having an alter named Axel

[boxedforyourdemise]

Controversial System Opinion alert! Just a bunch of Controversial Opinions! Related to the system community! And the topic of alter identity vs body experience

So... I don't think it should matter what an alter experiences internally or what words or terms or names they use as long as anything that could be seen as harmful or an issue stays innerworld. I believe internal identities don't have to dictate external identities or behavior. I believe they can be two different experiences.

I don't believe it matters what a specific alter is doing or saying if they respect societal, cultural, and social boundaries when presenting externally and discussing experiences.

I dunno. I guess I don't see the point in criticizing behavior that is only harmful when it's being used around other people. Sometimes personal identities or opinions can be kept to yourself. I think going after systems bc they have names from closed cultures or multicultural names that are most commonly associated with one specific culture is harmful and does nothing for anybody, especially if that alter isn't even interacting with anyone else. Same goes for judgement of closed culture names. Gifted names exist and are important to many cultures. People who call out people with names or alter names associated with closed cultures without asking first if a) the name has uncommon or unknown origins in addition to the culture in question, b) whether or not they were adopted or raised into that culture, c) whether or not the name was gifted are honestly doing more harm than good and causing a lot of people who are totally justified in their name to feel excluded and judged and misunderstood.

Also, just because a version of a name has origins in one culture does not make that name a closed culture name when it is in a new language and possibly even has multiple origins with various spellings and pronunciations.

I believe alters who have psuedomemories related to identities the body doesn't have should be able to talk about it without speaking over those who actually experience it irl. Mostly because psuedomemories that aren't source memories are usually just recreations and repaints of trauma that the body actually has gone through. But also because internal experiences are complex and as long as an alter isn't forcing themselves into specific spaces meant for people who experience serious shit irl, I think they shouldn't be forced to shut up just because the body doesn't match up.

I think alters who have these experiences related to established communities should be able to have their own private spaces to deal with and discuss their experiences and issues with the obvious pretext that all of this is internal experience and it's not meant to be educational or representational or to claim bodily experiences.

I just think people shouldn't be so quick to criticize alters over their internal presentation, or extreme detachment from the body and its memories, or their aesthetic choices or even their personal opinions on certain matters.

System accountability is important but also alters are still separate and do their own things and in some situations it's not appropriate to blame unrelated alters on things that only one alter did or said. Not talking about actual harmful stuff but just like. Discourse opinions..or religion. Or general interests (sfw and nsfw) and hobbies. Or their gender identity and what terms they use to describe it. It's none of your business what somebody's AGAB or biological sex is.

It's not misinformation to have phantom pain or to split easily or have system experiences that seem uncommon or weird or taboo. It's (mostly) in your brain and whatever your brain decides it needs in whatever way your mind spins it. Alters can look like anything and have any kind of "impossible" experienced internally. Excluding systems because they have weird experiences that you personally don't have is really rude and disrespectful.

I just think... If you keep the disconnect between external and internal experiences, it's okay to be a little "problematic" in your head. Your thoughts don't harm people. Your mental images or fantasies or identities have no impact on anything outside of you.

This sort of invasion and entitlement to justification for alter identity or opinions is incredibly harmful to psychotic systems. Checking PK lists for names and descriptions is horrible. Blacklisting names and sources is absolutely shameful.

It's not your business why an alter is the way they are or why they heal and cope the way they do. If you feel entitled to personal information about people, you should really reevaluate your boundaries and interactions in relation to others.

This is not to say that it's not racist to claim that a Japanese introject in a non-Asian body is actually Asian or that an intersex-presenting alter in a perisex body is actually intersex and can claim those experiences and resources or honestly anything like that wherein an alter is supposedly stealing experiences and actually talking as if they have them and the nuances.

I just don't see the point in nitpicking the tiniest irrelevant system details because they could possibly maybe perhaps be a little bit of an issue when you involve other people.

System information listed on pluralkit or SimplyPlural or a Carrd or Tumblr post is often just for personal categorization or for general self expression of alters. If the alter and system acknowledges that it's nowhere near the same as actually having these experiences, and externally makes an effort to use language and labels that aren't problematic, I don't really see any issues.

Like maybe alters with names they need to change could just. Go by a nickname. And everyone could leave it at that because it's not the same. And the alter doesn't have to literally shift what could be an integral part of their identity for the sake of internet interactions they aren't even involved in.

Basically if your alter is publicly claiming to be intersex or poc or disabled and your body isn't that's shitty but if it's entirely internal and personal I don't think it's relevant to anyone else. You don't owe anyone an explanation for what goes on in your brain.

You don't have to feel guilty for your personal opinions or identities or experiences. You can be both respectful of the marginalized and a good person who uplifts oppressed and minority voices and still have your own personal feelings or attachments associated.

It's hard to be an alter. It's hard to feel like your perceived experiences are invalid because you're in a body that simply has no right to the spaces. It's just not fair to outright berate people over something so personal and almost certainly actually trauma related.

Also one can be pale skinned and not actually white. Lots of mixed people are "white passing" but still nowhere near Caucasian. Skin tone doesn't actually mean shit in the end unless it's in reference to people who are obviously poc vs those who can kind of blend with white society.

I keep repeating myself in different ways but basically I'm just saying leave alters alone if they aren't actually involved in anything. Even if you see some kind of information about them that bothers you. You just don't know what's going on behind the screen let alone in somebody's head. So maybe we should all calm down and assume good faith or incredibly valid personal reasons or experiences unless there's actually an issue. Asking ppl to divulge their trauma or details or why a certain alter is a certain way is really invasive.

This post is just because we see people constantly spreading misinformation and actually excluding poc because they have this idea of needing to police inner-system workings on top of external behavior because apparently what goes on in your brain is also subject to outside criticism and critique now.

We have personally experienced this strange phenomenon a couple times for various reasons. It's really weird and oddly ignorant of niche cultures or adoptees sometimes. And outright ignores gifted or multicultural/multi-origin names, as I already stated.

And even if an alter is exhibiting problematic behavior, it's not your place to tell them off for it or try to shame them. That's for therapy and other healing and internal communication. You don't know the reason for it. you're not an authority over individuals (as in you have no place of power or influence over them) just because they share a community with you.

nothing in this post is for non-OSDDID systems. endos do not interact.

-Virne and Angel

Editing to add that this is not excusing alters for having actually harmful or appropriative beliefs or actions. Or suggesting not to analyze and work on harmful opinions. This is a critique on interrogation of alters and clear disregard for system privacy. This post is not in support of cultural appropriation of any sort. Or speaking over minorites or excusing negative beliefs just because nobody is exposed to them. I just think there's no real purpose in making assumptions and attacking alters over shit you don't understand.

[livixbobbiex]

YOI Fic Rec Masterlist!

Other lists: 

My fics: http://livixbobbiex.tumblr.com/post/163907091107/list-of-my-yoi-fanfics Mpreg: http://livixbobbiex.tumblr.com/post/163715334512/viktuuri-mpreg-fic-rec-list   Lesser known fics: http://livixbobbiex.tumblr.com/post/162548629092/lesser-known-fanfic-rec-list 

Unwritten – Kaizuka

Soulmates AU where whatever you write on your own skin appears on your soulmate, but when there is a language barrier, meeting becomes just a little more difficult than it should be.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/8293714/chapters/18997870

Until My Feet Bleed And My Heart Aches – Reiya

‘…Of all the rivalries in the world of sports over the years, perhaps none has become so legendary as that of Russian figure skater Viktor Nikiforov and his rival, Japanese Yuuri Katsuki…’

A single event changes the course of Yuuri’s life, throwing him into a bitter rivalry with Viktor Nikiforov that spans across his entire skating career. But as the years go on, rivalry and hatred begin to develop into something very different and Yuuri doesn’t seem to be able to stay away, no matter how hard he tries.

Hatred and love are two sides of the same coin and even though everything changes, some things are still meant to be.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/8748484/chapters/20055247

Of Bright Stars And Burning Hearts – Reiya

Viktor doesn’t remember the first time he met Yuuri Katsuki.

This however, is what Viktor does remember…

 Part 2 of the Rivals series and companion fic to ‘Until My Feet Bleed and My Heart Aches’. One small change alters the course of both Viktor and Yuuri’s entire lives, throwing them into a bitter rivalry that spans across many years and creates a world where they both tell a very different side to the story.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/10450500/chapters/23069073

You Can’t Plan For Everything – RivDeV

Yuuri forgets that he has a scheduled heat coming up until it's just a couple weeks away. He scrambles to get everything ready in time, including deciding whether he'll spend it alone or with someone. Victor only wants to help.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/8799475/chapters/20173651

On My Love – RikoJasmine

For the second time, the Sochi Grand Prix Finals arrive, and with it a reborn Yuuri Katsuki. “Viktor,” Yuuri thinks over the pounding of his heart, the crowd going silent as the music begins. “I’ll show the world what you meant to me.”

Yuuri often thinks of his life as Before and After Viktor Nikiforov, the marking point being the day Viktor swept into his life and turned his world upside-down. After many years together, an accident leads to Yuuri suddenly waking up in the Before—back in Detroit, before the GPF, before he ever knew Viktor as anything other than his childhood idol.

As if it had all been just a dream.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/8577016/chapters/19665139

 Winter Song – Proantagonist

The set of Yuuri’s mouth softened into a private smile as Victor squeezed his knee beneath the table. His hands were bare, free from the gloves he so often wore when they were together on the rink, and the heat of his palm burned straight through the denim of Yuuri’s jeans. He slipped his own hand beneath the table and found Victor’s. Hidden from sight, their fingers began to flirt and play. A secret conversation all their own that needed no words.

Yuuri was aware that at some point—a moment in time he couldn’t quite place—Victor had become his boyfriend.

There wasn’t a single instant when it happened. It was a slow awareness, as if Victor had silently been asking the question for months now, and Yuuri had been giving him the answer a little more with each passing day.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/8596987/chapters/19715377

Victor Effing Nikiforov –shysweetthing

AU in which Yuuri still doesn’t remember the banquet, somehow doesn’t blow Japanese Nationals, runs into Victor at the World Championships, and has absolutely no idea why his idol is suddenly friendly and incredibly handsy.

Does Yuuri care about his reasons? No. It’s Victor Effing Nikiforov.

Basically this is an excuse for total fluff. And porn. And shit-talking with bonus smut. (Edited for accuracy.) Happy birthday, Victor.

~~

Victor turned back to him, supernova smile in place once more. “I really, really like you. Promise you’ll still dance with me at the banquet if you take gold this time around.”

Yuuri stared at the man. He looked at their entwined hands—he hadn’t wanted to pull away—and their thighs, pressed together despite there being plenty of room in the backseat of the cab. That scent of Victor’s cologne—just a dab, lightly applied somewhere on his neck—swirled around him. This was too real to be a dream, too physical for him to have imagined it.

“I’m sorry,” Yuuri said slowly. “But…have we talked before?”

https://archiveofourown.org/works/9052504

I know my madness – astoryaboutwar

It's hardly a secret that Victor Nikiforov is a massive player.

(In which Yuuri doesn't blow the Grand Prix Finals the first time round, does blow Victor, and everything changes but ends up the same.)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/8635321

Katsuki_fc Wrote – tetsurashian

Just because Yuuri isn't big on social media, doesn't mean his fans aren't.

(aka a social media fic)

http://archiveofourown.org/works/8695081/chapters/19936426

Centripetal Force – Braveten

Victor speaks seven languages.

(Physics isn't one of them.)

Luckily, though, he ends up rooming with his antithesis: a shy, black-haired boy who just so happens to be a physics major.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/9534413/chapters/21559400

Maelstorm – Feelslikefire

Victor Nikiforov is poised to win gold in his fifth consecutive Grand Prix Final. He has the world at his feet, is unparalleled in the sport--right up until a snowstorm blows into Sochi, and he finds himself repeating the same day over and over and over. He stumbles over Yuuri Katsuki, and everything changes.

(Or, the time loop au. Loosely based on Groundhog Day.)

http://archiveofourown.org/works/8734612/chapters/20024818

Omerta – Kashoku

Minako had said he was a blessing - that his pockets were deep and Yuuri was lucky to have caught his eye.

But Viktor Nikiforov was a curse, and Yuuri finds himself trapped in a world of blood and death where it takes violence to mend what is broken.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/8918152/chapters/20427895

Shared Gravity –Phoenixwaller

Yuri Katsuki doesn't advertise his alpha status, in fact he'd rather it be relatively unknown. He feels that he's never fit the stereotype, and is much happier blending into the background. However, much to his dismay, his alpha instincts are awakened one summer morning.

At first he's angry, believing that his new coach, Victor Nikiforov, has brought back an omega in heat for a day of passion. But when he intrudes to order the couple to a safer location he learns the truth. Victor, the most decorated male figure skater ever, has his own secret.

From there an inexplicable gravity grows between them, their shared secrets pulling them together in ways that both learn to cherish.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/9727733/chapters/21930794

Nerve Endings – Phyona

When Yuuri moves in with Victor in St. Petersburg, they have to work through Yuuri's anxiety and Victor's secrets to find their balance.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/9001282/chapters/20554537

Call Everything On The Ice… - shysweetthing

Victor learns Japanese while in Hasetsu. He doesn't tell Yuuri, and things get dicey when he overhears Yuuri and Mari talking about him in Japanese. Repeatedly.

(The subtitle of this fic should be: Victor Nikiforov really needs a hug. Luckily, he gets one. Eventually.)

~~~

“No,” Victor says, skating up to Yuuri on the ice, “you have to push all the way from here, or you’ll never get the height you need for that axel.” He sets his hand on Yuuri’s ass, tracing the muscle group he’s referring to. “Not here.” He taps Yuuri’s thigh. He doesn’t know the words for the muscles in English, only knows how to show him.

Yes, technically he’s grabbing Yuuri’s ass, but how else is he to communicate?

http://archiveofourown.org/works/9654452/chapters/21811016

When ice melts in the snow (that’s when you’ll love me) – lilithiumwords

Katsuki Yuuri is the worst incubus in the Underworld. Viktor Nikiforov is his human target.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/8770939/chapters/20105086

Please Have Mercy On Me – all_those_big_ass_trees

Viktor's been living with Yuuri for a month now, but Yuuri is still not used to him. But Viktor is a good teacher, and Yuuri is a good student. *This fic is basically about the development of their relationship with each other which begins as a crazy crush then turns into something serious, something real. Sooner or later, they have to deal with problems as well. Angst, fluff, and porn... lot of porn.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/8808781/chapters/20196931

My Name On Your Lips – Feelslikefire

Yuuri Katsuki has been betrothed to the High King's son, Victor, since he was just a child; furthermore, as an omega, he's forbidden from practicing magic in combat. For years, he's been able to put off the former because the Prince was traveling abroad, and gotten around the latter by practicing with his mentor in secret.

Now Victor Nikiforov has finally returned home, and Yuuri is being summoned to the capital for their wedding. He needs a plan to put off marriage long enough to find a way to break the betrothal, while keeping his practicing from being discovered.

If only the Prince didn't have other ideas.

(Or, the swords-and-sorcery arranged marriage AU. Updates weekly.)

http://archiveofourown.org/works/9406391/chapters/21293999

Twenty-Five Hours - olizzybenneto 

In which Yuuri spends a 25 hour flight next to Victor Nikiforov, skating legend, and feels it might simultaneously be the best and worst thing that has ever happened to him.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/9677486/chapters/21856832

All Eyes on Me - Kizuna_Auri 

Yuuri, under the username of Eros, is a size queen omega who most certainly does not have an obsession with fellow camboy and legendary silver-haired alpha Aria. Just like Phichit is not the most meddlesome roommate known to man.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/10611891/chapters/23466588

The Boyfriend Experience - Cryingoverspilledvodka 

Katsuki Yuuri is an accomplished escort at 23, operating under the pseudonym Eros, in Detroit. When one of his favourite clients sets him up with none other than world-renowned figure skater Victor Nikiforov, the delicate balance between Yuuri's personal and professional life teeters ever closer towards ruin.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/9285461/chapters/21042680

For The Camera - Noon30ish 

In which Yuuri becomes a pornstar and is 'training' under the one and only, the Living Legend, Vitya.

Or the fic where, for Yuuri, sex comes first and love comes after.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/10206422/chapters/22653293

The “Real” Viktor Nikiforov - thishasbeencary 

So, fine, maybe Yuuri's a little bored and lonely when he likes a dating profile claiming to be Viktor Nikiforov. And, maybe, he's a little pathetic when he gets excited when the account messages him almost immediately after. And, he's definitely stupid for falling in love with someone pretending to be his idol, but he can't help it. It's not like it's the real Viktor Nikiforov, anyway. He knows someone is catfishing him, but he still falls ridiculously in love.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/10315007/chapters/22807862

Shape Of You - ViktorBunny 

Yuri is moving to St. Petersburg and Victor is far too excited to show him everything and spoil his Katsudon on his home turf.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/9429881/chapters/21340928

An Intangible Force of Motion - doeinstinct 

The new season is in full-swing, and Viktor is realizing just how much work it is to coach and compete, but the exhilaration is worth it. The pain in his leg is probably just from overworking. Probably. (Or the post-season one continuation fic no one really asked for.)

http://archiveofourown.org/works/9153136/chapters/20793226

Beyond The Blue Horizon - HikarisDream

It was perfect. There was no music, no sound whatsoever, only Yuuri, dancing in front of him, toes sinking into the deliciously soft carpet, his movements fluent even off the ice and his eyes sparkling while he tried to show to Victor what his words had lacked to convey, making him hear the melody with his eyes while he watched every small gesture, every delicate step. It was all there on open display; their love unfolding for everyone to see.

Victor Nikiforov is back in competitive skating with Yuuri finally meeting him on the same ice. Victuuri. Post-Canon. BoyxBoy Rated M for smut. Lots of Fluff

http://archiveofourown.org/works/9186470/chapters/20850245

Like A Fairytale - lucycamui 

In which Prince Victor gets swept off his feet at a royal banquet and will go to any length to find his 'Cinderella' Yuuri. (And Phichit is the fairy godmother who has no idea what he's doing).

“The crown prince of the Nikiforov kingdom, infatuated with a mystery pastry chef he’s only just met. This is exactly the kind of scandalous love story my life has been missing… So, what’s he look like? What exactly is Prince Victor’s type?”

“…Sweet.”

“Well, he does make pastries."

http://archiveofourown.org/works/9373529/chapters/21220337

Update: 12th May 2017

No Less Unthinkable - rageprufrock 

In which Katsuki Yuuri fights a losing battle with chronic anxiety, the quadruple Salchow, and his own judgment four drinks in — but wins the war.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/9643403/chapters/21786299

The Next Level - Azriona

So this is being engaged to a fellow skater: it’s trying to figure out whose sweats are whose, writing competition dates on the calendar in different colored pens, late-night arguments over sequins versus feathers, running out of the really good foot plasters after the shops have closed for the night.

The skating season continues (as skating seasons are wont to do), while Victor and Yuuri negotiate the shifts in their relationship, their careers, and their home rink.

Sometimes, things even go as planned.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/10599636/chapters/23434005

blood is thicker than - icanhinatashouyoutheworld 

“You might be Yuri’s biological parent, Mr. Nikiforov. But I’m his father. If Yuri wants to go with you, that’s one thing,” Yuuri Katsuki’s voice flows quiet and dangerous into the room “but if he doesn’t, don’t think that you’re taking my child away from home,”

Or: Victor Nikiforov finds out he has a son. He wants full custody.

Katsuki Yuuri isn't going to give up his child that easily.

Or: Victor and Yuuri fight a custody battle for Yurio. Shit happens.

Or: Yuri Plisetsky starts with one parent, and ends up with two.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/10335053/chapters/22845206

Stimulating Conversation - threerings

Yuuri is determined to get to the bottom of why Victor keeps flirting with him. This leads to a conversation. With alcohol.

“Besides,” said Victor. “Maybe if I get you drunk I can learn some of your secrets.” Yuuri coughed as he swallowed. “My secrets?”

 “Yes. The secrets of the mysterious Katsuki Yuuri, enigma of the figure skating world.” Yuuri nearly choked again at that.

He laughed and shook his head. “You don’t need to make fun of me.”

 “What? You are an enigma.”

 “Sure.”

 “I’m not joking,” Victor assured. “No one really knows what to make of you, Yuuri. You’re so quiet most of the time and then other times...” Yuuri just looked at the other man as he trailed off. He shook his head and reached to pour them both more sake.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/10794513/chapters/23943609

empty spaces between stars - astudyinrose

Victor gets just as drunk as Yuuri at the Sochi Banquet, and they disappear together after the dance-offs. They wake up the morning after with rings on their fingers, and pictures of them kissing after getting married the night before are all over the tabloids... but neither of them remembers a thing. They decide to stay married for a while for the sake of Victor's sponsorships, and in exchange, Victor coaches Yuuri through nationals...

http://archiveofourown.org/works/10847568/chapters/24084063

Baby Blue Prince - Daughter of Vayu 

When Viktor Nikiforov met Yuuri, he didn't know that cute guy with awful baby blue tie was actually a real life prince. The one with titles and such.

The Modern Royalty AU with Yuuri as Prince Cinnamon Roll.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/10699002/chapters/23697102

Update: 3rd September 2017

Not Alone - DazzledGhosts

Katsuki Yuuri has been training alongside Victor in St. Petersburg for a while. He has been so careful for no one to know that he's an omega. But while skating one day, Victor notices something different. What's that smell coming from Yuuri's neck? Without realizing it, he finds a scent suppressant patch on Yuuri's neck and curiosity wins the better of him. He tugs and is hit directly with that smell of cardamom and honeysuckle.

Victor falls into his first ever rut. But not because Yuuri is an omega. But because the omega he is smelling is Yuuri. A story where secondary genders do not define you. Where Yuuri is strong despite everything that comes his way as a result of his omeganess. Where Victor strives to be the best alpha he can, but all he wants is to be Victor and Yuuri. Not Alpha and Omega.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/10568586/chapters/23350941

"Be My Sex Coach, Victor!" - lucycamui

Yuuri Katsuki has always been his own worst critic, and a series of unfortunate short-lived relationships has him convinced that he flubs things more in the bedroom than out on the ice. So, of course it would turn out that the ridiculously charming Russian he's matched with online is a pornstar.

But perhaps, a 'professional opinion' is exactly what Yuuri needs...

https://archiveofourown.org/works/11033310/chapters/24591645

'Cause I'm a Taker, 'Cause I'm a Giver, It's Only Nature - ken_ichijouji 

The story of how Yuuri Katsuki slept with, dated, fell in love with, and married Victor Nikiforov. Yes, in that order.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/9173269/chapters/20825470

A Stranger's Groom - SophiaFrederica

Viktor has always felt a strange connection to Bridget Jones, something that Yuri will never understand. Sure, there are quite a few differences between them: first, Viktor doesn’t feel very insecure about his looks (apart from his thinning hairline) and second, he doesn’t embarrass himself regularly. He has also made an amazing career and with his status as a high-class celebrity, he probably won’t need to worry too much about money for the rest of his life. But there’s something in Bridget that Viktor understands better than anyone, the fear of never finding your true love and spending your whole life all alone.

Aka "Married at First Sight" AU where both Yuuri and Viktor apply for the said reality television show, become a match and spend 5 weeks together as a married couple.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/10887105/chapters/24194160

Not Alone - DazzledGhosts

Katsuki Yuuri has been training alongside Victor in St. Petersburg for a while. He has been so careful for no one to know that he's an omega. But while skating one day, Victor notices something different. What's that smell coming from Yuuri's neck? Without realizing it, he finds a scent suppressant patch on Yuuri's neck and curiosity wins the better of him. He tugs and is hit directly with that smell of cardamom and honeysuckle.

Victor falls into his first ever rut. But not because Yuuri is an omega. But because the omega he is smelling is Yuuri. A story where secondary genders do not define you. Where Yuuri is strong despite everything that comes his way as a result of his omeganess. Where Victor strives to be the best alpha he can, but all he wants is to be Victor and Yuuri. Not Alpha and Omega.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/10568586/chapters/23350941

Dance of the Red Death - Strange and Intoxicating

Find something to live for.

Viktor Nikiforov loved too much. What begins as a cough morphs into something that takes the shape of an unseen monster hiding in his very blood. With the Russian government scrambling to sweep under the rug the worst of a crisis that's been thirty-five years in the making and a society that sees his disease as a death sentence, Viktor is left with figuring out his own way to survive.

It starts as a way to escape— a youtube video of music and color and light, but quickly becomes something he never expected when Yuri Katsuki teaches him that surviving is not living. Yuri teaches him that living is taking the jump into unknown and accepting all that comes with it.

This is not a story of anger. This is not a story of fear. This is not even a story of pain.

This is a 21st Century love overcoming the obstacles of the 20th Century's politics of fear.

This is a story of life.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/8496907/chapters/19471678